All language subtitles for The.Flintstones.S02E22.WEBRip.x264-ION10

[theme music]

[whistles]

screech

[siren wailing]

[whistles]

vroom

screech

[brakes screeching]

crash

thud

bam

mwah

Fred, breakfast is ready.

You better hurry or you'll be late for work.

(Fred) 'Relax, Wilma. There's lots of time.'

I'm just startin' my morning exercises.

'Well, remember, you have to pick up Barney.'

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, I know.

[grunting]

bam

There. That oughta do it.

Maybe tomorrow I'll try two of 'em.

No use rushin' these things, you know.

A guy can get muscle-bound or something.

I fixed a soft-boiled pterodactyl egg

but you'll have to hurry.

Stop worryin', Wilma.

I got plenty of time.

Now where's the morning paper?

'Still on the porch, I guess.'

Hey, Dino. Fetch the paper, boy.

'Bring the paper.'

[yelps]

swoosh

screech

(Fred) 'Attaboy, Dino.'

Put her right here, boy.

[shatters]

Oh, great.

Now how am I gonna find the sports section?

It's just as well, Fred.

It's almost 8 o'clock. You better get going.

'What is it with you wives?'

If we stay home, you tell us to get out.

'If we stay out, you want us home.'

No wonder some husbands go batty.

Well, some wives worry about their husbands.

Uh, don't worry about me. I know what I'm doing.

mwah

So long, Wilma.

'Bye, Dino. Be a good boy.'

You know what you're doing.

Sure you do.

Now hurry before you're late.

Alright, alright. Quit rushin' me.

I'll see you tonight. Goodbye.

[door slams]

[sighs] Every morning it's the same thing.

Come on, Dino, let's have breakfast.

[yelps]

Boy, if there's one thing I can't stand

it's to be rushed.

'Okay, Barney!'

honk honk honk

You got ten seconds before the Flintstone Express

leaves for the salt mines.

I'm ready, Freddy. I'll be right with you.

Make it snappy. I don't wanna miss my coffee break.

Open the door, Betty, and, uh, hold my lunch pail.

Barney, yesterday you left in such a hurry

you forgot to kiss me goodbye.

Oh, I-I'm sorry, dear.

Barney, wait, you forgot to kiss me again.

I-I'll give you two when I come home.

Goodbye.

[imitates Barney] "I'll give you two when I get home."

Big deal.

- Hiya, Fred. - Mornin', Barney.

Beautiful day, huh, pal?

Naturally. It's a working day.

Yeah, well, I can think of a lot better ways

to spend it than workin'.

Like, uh, maybe bowlin' a couple of hundred games?

Or fishin' all afternoon.

How about, uh, watching some of them

daytime soap operas on TV?

No, no, no. There's something about this time of year

that makes a man feel...restless.

Hey, uh, you know what they say, Fred.

"In the spring, a young man's fancy

turns to thoughts of baseball."

Yeah, that's right.

The Bedrock Boulders play a doubleheader this afternoon.

Oh, boy, would I like to see that?

Oh, me too. It's a shame we gotta work.

You know, I don't like to brag, Barney.

'Oh, yeah. I know that, Fred.'

But back in the old days, I used to be quite a pitcher.

You're quite a pitcher now, Fred.

[chuckling]

A fat, round one.

Droll. Very droll.

Around school, I was known as "Fireball Freddy."

Yeah, no kiddin'.

I always thought you majored in hooky.

[chuckling]

[sniggering]

Keep it up, pal, and you'll find yourself

walkin' to work or limpin'.

Oh, Fred, I-I'm sorry, Fred. I-I was only kiddin'.

clang

[chuckling]

Hey, Barney, you remember the time

I practically won a game single-handed?

Oh, yeah, I remember that game.

Our team was winnin' 32 to nothing

with two out in the last of the ninth inning.

So the coach figured it was safe to let you pitch.

That's right, and I won the game.

Mm-hmm. You won the game, alright, Fred

by a score of 32 to 31.

Yup. It was a regular pitcher's duel.

screech

What's the matter, Fred? Why are you stoppin'?

Barney, I'm gonna see that ballgame today

and I ain't gonna see it alone.

Oh, I know, Fred. Uh, they show it

to a couple of thousand people at a time.

'I know that, bubblehead.'

'What I mean is you and me are gonna go see that game.'

But how can we, Fred? We gotta go to work.

That's what you think.

But I got a brilliant scheme

to get out of work.

'You're gonna quit, Fred?'

Look, you wanna go see the game or not?

Well, sure, Fred, uh

but I've seen your brilliant schemes work before

and I-I don't know.

Well, this one is different.

Now come on, let's get started.

Hey, uh, what are you gonna do, Fred?

It's very simple. We call up our bosses

and tell 'em we're sick and ba-ba-ba-boom!

Just like that, we're at the ballgame.

Oh, that is a brilliant idea.

Very shrewd.

But, uh, what about our wives?

What about 'em? We'll be back in time for dinner

they won't know a thing.

I'm tellin' ya, it's foolproof, Barney.

Oh, I gotta hand it to you, Fred.

I just don't know how you do it.

'Brains, pal, brains.'

And all I got is good looks.

[chuckling]

Now, well, listen to the old master, Barney

'cause you're gonna have to do the same thing.

[clears throat]

Hello? Rockhead Quarry Company?

Mr. Slate...please.

Mr. Slate, this is..

[coughing]

...Fred Flintstone, Mr. Slate.

I was..

[coughing]

...calling to, to..

No, no, Flintstone.

F-L-I-N-T..

Yeah, yeah, Fred Flintstone. That's me. I..

[coughing]

I came down with a bad cold this morning, Mr. Slate

'and I thought I better stay home in bed today.'

'Uh, that is, uh, if you can spare me.'

[indistinct chatter]

You can?

Anytime?

Well, thank you, sir. I'll take care of myself.

[indistinct chatter]

Well, I'll take care of myself, anyway.

So long.

You see, Barney? You just let the boss know who's boss.

Now call yours and give him the same pitch.

Oh, I-I don't know, Fred.

I-I never could pitch it as good as you.

Uh, I'm-I'm nervous.

Remember to cough a little to make it sound good.

Okay, Fred, but I don't think it will work.

Sure, it will. Just keep cool.

'Shh. He-he's on the phone now.'

Uh, hello, Mr. Pebble.

Uh, this is Fred Flintstone..

I-I mean, Barney Rubble. I, uh..

[coughing]

I-I was on my way to w-work this morning

and, uh, and, uh, I-I was just wondering, uh..

[coughs] Uh, that is, uh, I, uh..

Psst. You have a cold.

'Oh, yeah, I was just wondering'

'if, uh, if I could have a cold.'

I mean, I-I don't feel well.

I-I've got, uh, dizzy spells..

[coughing] ...a-and chills and..

...a-and I got, uh, spots in front of my eyes.

That's great, Barney. Keep it up.

'I, uh.. What, sir?'

'Uh-huh.'

'Yeah, I-I will, sir.'

'Yeah, goodbye, sir.'

What'd he say? What'd he say?

He said as long as I was on my way to work

to come in and, uh, report to the company nurse.

- Now I'm in for it. - Relax, pal, relax.

All you gotta do is give the nurse the same sick routine.

Lots of coughing, a few sneezes

and she sends you home.

- Uh, you know somethin', Fred? - 'What?'

I think I'm gettin' sick of the whole thing.

screech

Well, here we are, Barney.

Make it snappy, so we can get to the ballgame.

I, uh, I'm kinda scared, Fred.

What if the nurse finds out I'm not sick?

No one's gonna find out.

Just go in there and act sick.

Who's acting?

So I says to this first doctor

I says, "You're quite an operator, ain't you?"

Honestly, Shirley, he was worse

than some of the characters around here

and you know how they are.

Always coming in with some phony ailment

just because I got a pretty face.

Uh, uh, pardon me, nurse.

Uh, Mr. Pebble told me to, uh, drop in.

I'll have to hang up now, Shirl.

Another one of those clods just walked in.

Oh, hello, Mr. Rubble. I've been expecting you.

Well, well, I can come back later if you're busy.

'Come right in, Mr. Rubble.'

That was Shirley on the switchboard.

She's a regular busybody.

Now, what seems to be the trouble?

Well, uh, I, uh, I think I'm catchin' a cold.

[coughing]

So, uh, Mr. Pebble said..

'We can't tell a thing until we get your temperature.'

'Now you wait here while I get the needle.'

N-n-needle?

What's takin' that guy so long?

We're gonna miss the ballgame.

Barney's a good guy, but he's the poorest excuse

for makin' an excuse I ever knew.

I better hurry him up.

Psst! Hey, Barney.

What are you doin' with that thing in your mouth?

'We haven't got all day, you know.'

Well, the nurse is takin' my temperature, Fred

a-and she's gonna find out I ain't sick.

Well, we'll fix that. Come over here.

Uh, what are you gonna do, Fred?

Raise your temperature a few points

with this lighter.

'Here.'

There, that oughta do it.

Oh, Mr. Rubble.

Will you, please, raise your left arm?

I-I, uh, w-what are you gonna do with that thing?

Oh, now don't tell me you never had a blood test before.

B-b-blood test?

[groaning]

Men are such sissies.

Oh, well, it will be easier this way.

Uh, 312 degrees.

312 degrees! Yikes!

Shirley, quick, send an ambulance.

It's Mr. Rubble. He's in terrible shape.

Come on, Barney, come on.

We'll miss the whole ballgame.

[siren wailing]

That's what I get for invitin' him along.

He probably chickened out and sneaked back to work

while I wait here.

Well, I ain't gonna wait much longer.

Who needs him anyhow?

- Hiya, Fred. - Hiya, Barney.

Barney! Now what's he tryin' to pull?

What are you doin'? You tryin' to make me miss the ballgame?

Do somethin', Fred. They're takin' me to the hospital.

You gotta get me out of this.

[siren wailing]

That's Barney for you.

Always gettin' himself in a jam

and expecting good old Fred to bail him out.

You know, Fred certainly was in a hurry this morning, Wilma.

He must be getting restless in his old age.

Yeah, I know, Betty. It happens every spring

when the Boulders are in town.

- Boulders? - The Bedrock baseball team.

- 'Oh.' - Fred's a big fan.

He just loves sitting in the bleachers

and eating brontosaurus burgers.

[screeching]

When baseball season arrives, it's like having

a 250-pound little leaguer around the house.

[telephone ringing]

(Wilma) 'I'll get it.'

Hello?

Oh, yes, she's here.

It's for you, Betty. It's Barney's boss.

Mr. Pebble? I wonder what's wrong.

Hello, Mr. Pebble. This is Mrs. Rubble.

What? My Barney's in the hospital?

Well, I'll get over there right away.

Barney's in the Rockopedic Hospital

with a high fever.

Oh, that's terrible, Betty.

Let's get over there right away.

Hey, you the desk nurse?

No, I'm Lady Godiva and this is a kissing booth.

Look, I got no time for amateur comedians.

- Where is Mr. Rubble's room? - He's in 102.

Who are you, fatso?

A deceased relative or something?

No, I'm a deceased pal and I gotta see him.

Sorry, buster.

Hey, what's the big idea?

'No visitors.'

You know what this means, don't you?

We'll miss the ballgame.

Well, I'm not much for ballgames

but if you behave yourself

maybe we can take in a movie tonight.

Oh, boy.

Now look, buddy, rules are rules

and it's only fair to warn you that I know judo.

Now just sit here quietly and you won't get hurt.

But if you pull that again, I'll have to bounce you

out of here, you understand?

Yes, ma'am.

[siren wailing]

Gangway! Emergency case!

We're taking this one right up to the operating room, nurse.

Go ahead, Charlie.

Hot dog, I made it. Now, to rescue Barney.

We still got time to catch the first inning.

I guess Fred must have gone to the ballgame without me.

I better get back to work and confess

the whole thing to Mr. Pebble.

Here it is, room 102.

Ooh, you numbskull!

What's the idea, slammin' me with the door?

Fred, you're here.

Oh, I didn't think you'd make it a-and I was just leavin'.

Well, you can't just walk out of here.

That half-back at the desk will throw you right back in.

Now get back in there.

'I got an idea to get us both out.'

Okay, Fred.

(Fred) 'All set, Barney?'

(Barney) 'Yeah, Fred.'

'Hey, you look cute.'

(Fred) 'Quiet, and here goes.'

Now just lie still and I'll wheel you

right past the desk and out the front door.

[Fred mimicking woman] 'You're doing fine, Mr. Rubble!'

We'll take a ride around the grounds

and get some fresh air.

Wow, what a homely nurse.

We made it, Fred. We're outside.

Yeah, and with any luck, we'll still see that ballgame.

[chuckling]

I gotta hand it to you, Fred.

- You-- - Yikes!

screech

Look, it's Wilma and Betty!

'If they catch us, we're sunk!'

Hold on, Barney!

Hey, I wonder what they're doing here.

Somebody must have tipped Betty off.

Like your double-crossin' boss.

We gotta hide back in the hospital.

Now you wait here while I climb out of this outfit.

Hurry up, Fred. I-I'm scared.

Mr. Rubble, what are you doing in the maternity ward?

I, uh, I, uh--

You better not try to talk, Mr. Rubble.

And don't worry. We'll take good care of you.

Of course, with a 312-degree temperature

we'll have to operate.

- Operate? - Naturally.

We're bringing in our Viennese specialist

Dr. Sliprock.

Sli-Sli-Sli-Sliprock?

'Oh, he's very good.'

Uh, first, he'll start with a collateral of the clavicle

and do an exploratory soldering of the paraphernalia delicti.

Then if you're still around, he'll--

H-help!

L-let me out of here!

Boy! He's worse off than I thought.

Somebody oughta call a doctor. We interns can't do everything.

Hey, Mr. Rubble!

Mr. Rubble, come back!

Now you wait here, Mrs. Rockslide

and I'll get your room ready.

Oh, thank you, nurse.

screech

Okay, the coast is clear.

We can slip out the window together

and be gone before anyone catches on.

Help! There's a masher loose!

Oh, boy!

There he goes!

'Help! Help!'

'Somebody call the police!'

Oh, that Barney.

He gets me in more trouble--

Hiya, Fred.

Barney, what are you doin' in here?

You were supposed to be on that table.

Sorry, Fred, but they was gonna operate on me

and I ain't got a hospital plan.

Well, we gotta get you back in Room 102

before Betty and Wilma get there.

- 'Well, how, Fred?' - Same way I got you out.

Back on the table.

Okay, Barney. Now you stay here until I figure out what to do.

Hey, what do I tell Betty if she comes in here?

Tell her you got laryngitis and can't talk.

Fred, what are you doing here? Why aren't you at work?

I, uh, that is, I-I, uh..

thwack

You've been a naughty boy, Mr. Rubble.

'I've been looking all over for you.'

After all, a patient with a 312-degree temperature

shouldn't be running around.

Besides, we're ready to operate now.

Operate?

They're gonna operate on my Barney?

- For what? - What's going on, Fred?

Uh, excuse me, girls. I gotta say gaboo, uh, goodbye.

I-I mean, good luck t-to Barney.

Poor Fred is almost hysterical.

Let's go find somebody that knows what this is all about.

(Barney) 'I'm telling you, i-it's all a mistake.'

'Uh, uh, I really feel fine.'

(male #1) Sure, you do, Mr. Rubble. Sure, you do.

Now just relax.

Dr. Sliprock will be here in a minute

and we'll start the operation.

Shee! They're really gonna operate.

How does Barney let himself get me into jams like this?

Alright, everybody! Clear the decks!

Dr. Sliprock has arrived!

Where is this Mr. Rubble?

The patient with the 312-degrees temperature.

They're all waiting for you in the operating room

down the hall, doctor.

312 degrees!

Boy, that's a hot one!

[Sliprock laughing]

Poor Barney. It's all my fault

for wantin' to go to the ballgame.

I can't let them do this to my little pal.

Barney would never forgive me.

(Sliprock) 'Hey, you, intern!'

- Huh? Who me? - Who else?

Where is the operating room?

Uh, uh, uh, the operating room.

Are you Dr. Sliprock?

Well, I ain't the Viennese delegation to the UN.

Is everything ready for the operation

'on this Rubble guy?'

Uh...yeah, yeah.

Just, uh, follow me, doc.

[chuckling]

Maybe we better have a look at you too.

That's an awful big pot you have there.

Right through this door, doc.

I'll see you later.

Better let me give you something for that stomach.

slam

Now, to help Barney.

Hmm, it's kind of dark in here.

But I guess that's the way they work in this country.

The patient is getting nervous.

We better start without Dr. Sliprock.

I, uh, I-I don't think he's comin'.

Uh, so can I leave and come back tomorrow?

[Fred imitating Sliprock] Hold everything

especially the operation.

The great Dr. Sliprock will now start.

Everybody, stand back.

'Out of the way, you amateurs!'

- Give me some elbow room here. - Oh, hiya, Fred.

[whispering] Quiet, you numbskull.

Do you know the patient, doctor?

(Fred) 'Well, naturally.'

Us doctors, we gotta keep track of all the diseases.

Well, I've had my eye on this one

for a long, long time.

Make it look good, Barney.

Give me some ouches and ooches and then I'll get you out.

Uh, right, Fred, but, uh, don't make it look too good.

Und now I start.

Umm, ahem, eh, scalpel?

(nurse) 'Scalpel.'

- What's that? - 'The scalpel, Dr. Sliprock.'

Never touch them.

Give me a monkey wrench instead.

- A monkey wrench? - 'Yeah, a monkey wrench!'

(Fred) 'What's the matter? You flunked medical school or something?'

Okay, you're the specialist.

Dr. Sliprock has very unusual techniques.

Yeah, that's how it is with geniuses.

Remember, Barney, a couple of oohs and ouches.

(Barney) 'Ooh! Ouch! Ow!'

Aah, ooch! Ooh! Eeks!

Aye! Ooh! Ouch! Ow! Ohh!

Oh, I, I feel so much better

knowing they have a specialist for Barney.

He's in good hands, Betty.

The nurse said Dr. Sliprock is one of the best.

Oh, poor Barney.

[sniffling] Taking it all so calmly.

Just as if he were only going to a ballgame.

[sobbing]

There you are, Mr. Rubble.

All cured. How do you feel?

Oh, I-I feel fine, doc, but, uh, my nose feels awful.

Simply a post-operation reaction.

I better take you home now

und present you with the bill.

Absolutely amazing.

Applies a wrench to the patient and cures him in two minutes.

Yeah, and even escorts him home to collect his fee.

Uh, good day, gentlemen.

I'll, uh, see you in the medical journals.

Get goin', Barney, right out the front door.

Fred!

Barney, you're all cured!

Fred, where are you going?

No time to explain now, Wilma.

We'll tell you all about it when we get home.

And you mean to say you went through

all that trouble to see a ballgame?

Fred Flintstone, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Yeah, I know, but it wasn't just any ballgame

it was a Doubleheader.

[telephone ringing]

(Betty) 'Hello?'

Oh, Mr. Pebble.

Uh, Barney? Well, he seems okay.

All except his nose.

[giggling]

Mm-hmm. Uh..

Oh, yes. Oh, sure. I'll tell him, Mr. Pebble.

Goodbye.

That was Mr. Pebble, your boss

and he has a message for you, Barney.

Well? Well? What did he say?

Well, it seems that Doubleheader you tried so hard to see

is tonight

'and he had two extra tickets'

'that he wanted to give you.'

'But you got sick, so he gave them away.'

Oh, no!

Well, it looks like

you outsmarted yourself again, Fred.

Congratulations.

Hey, we still got time to make the game, Barney.

How about it, girls? Can we go?

Well, what do you think, Betty?

Sure.

[chuckling]

If they take us.

Yabba-dabba-doo!

Come on, girls, the brontosaurus burgers

are on me.

Believe me, Wilma, I've learned my lesson.

No more playin' hooky for me.

Promises, promises, Fred.

All you do is make promises.

But this one, Wilma, I'm gonna keep.

[laughing]

[theme music]

[yawns]

slam

Wilma.

[banging on door]

Wilma!

Come on, Wilma. Open this door!

Wilma!