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1
00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:04,838
Rog, I'm 10 out.
2
00:00:04,872 --> 00:00:06,407
I'll scoop you, and then
we're headed straight
3
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,609
to the Sharks Nest
for some laser hockey, baby.
4
00:00:08,642 --> 00:00:11,312
Pew pew! My favorite sport!
Can't wait.
5
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:12,546
Check this.
6
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:14,148
We're sitting in
the mayor's box.
7
00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:15,516
Dick's been moonlighting
8
00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:17,151
as Mayor Garfield's
Chief of Security.
9
00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:18,652
Yeah, Dick, killing it!
10
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:21,021
You're coming as your
Pete Van Smash persona, right?
11
00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:22,523
You know it!
Good.
12
00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:25,193
All the guys from work think
Van Smash is a God.
13
00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:27,095
He loves sports,
and he's always on the hunt
14
00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:28,829
for new awesome porn.
15
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,132
Van Smash always
brings the fire.
16
00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:33,067
I'm going to slip
into him right now.
17
00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:35,469
[ Ring tone plays ]
18
00:00:35,503 --> 00:00:36,804
Hell yeah.
19
00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:38,306
What up, blowhole?
20
00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:40,141
I hate to do this,
but I got to flake on you
21
00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:42,009
for that laser game.
What?
22
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,677
Why didn't you just tell me
on the other line?
23
00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:47,148
Van Smash doesn't make other
people take out his trash, bruh.
24
00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:49,083
I got to go. I'm about
to get in an accident.
25
00:00:49,117 --> 00:00:50,118
[ Engine revs ]
26
00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:51,485
[ Glass shatters ]
27
00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:56,890
* Good morning, U.S.A.
28
00:00:56,924 --> 00:01:00,728
* I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day *
29
00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:03,864
* The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face *
30
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:08,269
* And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race *
31
00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:13,541
* Oh, boy, it's swell to say
32
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:16,009
* Good --
* Good morning, U.S.A.
33
00:01:16,043 --> 00:01:17,077
Aah!
34
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:21,715
* Good morning, U.S.A.
35
00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:24,585
Announcer: That's a laser goal!
36
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:25,819
Three points!
37
00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:28,055
-Yeah!
-Yeah, yeah!
38
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,458
How sweet is this box?
39
00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:32,092
Stan,
where's Van Smash?
40
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:34,262
He totally flaked.
Oh, man.
41
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:36,096
I bet he had something
cool to do.
42
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,766
He's probably being
so funny right now.
43
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:41,169
That's too bad.
I wanted everyone here
44
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:42,903
so I could share
some good news.
45
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,439
With the extra money I'm making
working for the mayor,
46
00:01:45,473 --> 00:01:48,041
I finally bought that boat
I've been lusting after.
47
00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:50,110
The one that's been rusting
in the Walmart parking lot
48
00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:51,479
for the last three years?
49
00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:53,947
Yep! But that's not
the good news.
50
00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:56,284
If I had not moved
out of my apartment
51
00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:57,885
and on to that boat,
then I wouldn't have met
52
00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,487
the love of my life.
53
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,822
Meet Becky Tenderhearts.
54
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:03,457
Goddamnit.
55
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,226
I got to ask, how do you guys
concentrate at work
56
00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:08,962
with this tub of hot
roast beef slopping around?
57
00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:13,934
Francine, I came across
a pretty troubling photo
58
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,937
from your bender
last night.
59
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,439
Francine: Oh, God!
60
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:19,807
I made out
with Tuttle?
61
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,310
-Ew! Mom!
-Get it, Mrs. S!
62
00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:25,579
I wonder if I took a bite
or ate the whole thing.
63
00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:28,015
I better pop a Plan B.
64
00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:31,419
Got you!
It's Photoshop, baby!
65
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:33,086
All: Ah!
66
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,623
[ Applause ]
Too kind, too kind.
67
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,825
Little light on
the cheering there, Klaus.
68
00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:39,627
Now, to more
important matters.
69
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:40,894
What the hell, Roger?!
70
00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:41,895
You have to
break up with Dick!
71
00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:42,963
I command it!
72
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,898
First, I'm not
dating Dick.
73
00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:47,435
My persona,
Becky Tenderhearts, is.
74
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,002
Second,
I'm not dumping him.
75
00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:50,304
Becky is in love!
76
00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:52,105
All: Aw!
Yes.
77
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:53,140
[ Applause ]
78
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,842
That is so sweet!
79
00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:56,844
It isn't sweet, Hayley.
It's annoying.
80
00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:59,280
Roger ditched me,
so there I was looking like
81
00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:01,849
an ass kneeling during
the national anthem all alone!
82
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:03,484
Relax.
Every once and a while,
83
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:06,086
my characters schedules
conflict, but don't worry.
84
00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:08,422
I don't see any other conflicts
on the horizon.
85
00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:10,791
Good because you and I
have a big
86
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,860
Wheels and the Legman
case to crack.
87
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:15,496
The Legman is ready,
and, Frannie, Hayley,
88
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,631
I'll be there as Jeannie Gold
to help you plan
89
00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:19,032
Nerfer's bachelorette party.
90
00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:21,935
I can't believe Nerfer
is settling down.
91
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:24,071
She has such big tits!
92
00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:26,874
And Raider Dave and I
are watching the game tomorrow.
93
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:29,543
See, Stan? Plenty of Roger
to go around.
94
00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:32,546
Now, if you'll excuse me,
Becky has some planning to do.
95
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:34,315
She's moving on to
Dick's boat!
96
00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:37,084
Roger,
that's a big step!
97
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,387
Stop.
It's just easier, Steve.
98
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:41,322
Sure, Roger.
That's the reason.
99
00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:42,923
Shut up, Steve!
100
00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:50,598
Oh, no, bro.
101
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,300
That's my buddy
Raider Dave's lucky seat.
102
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,802
We're bonded in blood
as citizens of Raider Nation,
103
00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:56,704
and he's going to be here
any second!
104
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,138
Awesome.
Oh!
105
00:03:58,171 --> 00:04:00,007
Damn it, Roger.
106
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,875
Where are you?
107
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:06,380
Jalapeño popper on the floor.
Don't do it, Klaus.
108
00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:07,915
Oh, sick!
109
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:10,718
I caught this right before
it hit the ground!
110
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,987
The Raider game is about to
start if anyone's interested!
111
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:17,625
Who cares about football when
we've got this beautiful sunset
112
00:04:17,658 --> 00:04:18,892
over the marina.
113
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:21,762
[ Sniffs ]
And that glorious smell?
114
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,163
What is that smell, Dick?
115
00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:24,432
Dead seagull.
116
00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:27,067
Thank you
for this life.
117
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,769
[ Both moaning ]
118
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:34,174
Mom, Nerfer's bachelorette
must be pirate themed!
119
00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:35,776
Nerfer loves pirates!
120
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:39,012
That's why I've been saying
we should go steampunk.
121
00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:42,616
It includes pirates
but has some gadgets.
122
00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:45,553
If Roger were here, Jeannie Gold
would tell you to listen
123
00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:47,254
to what the bride wants,
124
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,957
and Nerfer doesn't want
future pirates!
125
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:53,093
Jeannie Gold would
help me kick your ass
126
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:56,864
because she knows
that steampunk isn't future!
127
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:59,900
It's an alternate timeline
where technology
128
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:02,570
developed differently,
you piece of shit!
129
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:03,937
Aah!
Aah!
130
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,374
[ Country music playing ]
131
00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:12,312
I love dancing
barefoot here.
132
00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:16,617
I can feel the peanut shells
crunch beneath my toes.
133
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,886
Hey!
That guy pinched my ass.
134
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:21,889
He's going to eat
some Dick fist.
135
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:22,856
Ugh!
136
00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:25,158
[ Grunting, screaming ]
137
00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:27,294
Stop it!
Dick, stop it.
138
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,329
That guy didn't really pinch
my ass.
139
00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:30,631
[ Glass shatters ]
Dick, this guy
140
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,766
just threw a glass at you.
141
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,002
Hey, Jeff.
You here to ride Clip Clop?
142
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:37,070
Every Tuesday
at midnight.
143
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:40,374
Clippy Cloppy, I've got
a dirty carrot for...
144
00:05:40,408 --> 00:05:42,643
[ Gasps ] Oh, no.
145
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,011
Clip Clop's gone!
146
00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:50,951
As soon as I bang my gavel,
you will be sentenced to death
147
00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:52,786
unless, of course,
something crazy happens
148
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:54,522
in the next five seconds.
Five, four...
149
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:55,523
[ Door opens ]
Steve: Wait!
150
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:56,524
[ Crowd gasping ]
151
00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:58,325
This man is innocent!
152
00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,326
Who are you?
153
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:02,262
We're Wheels and...
154
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:03,797
Legman?
155
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:06,834
He's supposed to be here
with the evidence.
156
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,268
Oh, well.
157
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:13,340
10,000 volts for
Mr. No-Bicycle-Helmet here.
158
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:18,646
**
159
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:21,148
Do you think this is
what Heaven's like?
160
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:24,752
No. Heaven's got
way more birds.
161
00:06:30,424 --> 00:06:33,661
The Smiths!
As I live and breathe.
162
00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:34,695
What has it been,
163
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,564
10 years?
Try a decade.
164
00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:39,232
We're having one of our famous
all-family meetings.
165
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:40,568
Say no more.
166
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:43,571
I'll bring you each
a glass of marinara.
167
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:47,340
I call this family meeting
to order.
168
00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:50,077
Roger's relationship
with Dick has consumed him.
169
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,545
He's flaking
on all of us!
170
00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:52,946
He's losing
himself in Dick.
171
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,381
We need
to break them up.
172
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:57,017
But Roger will never
break up with Dick.
173
00:06:57,050 --> 00:07:00,353
We need Dick to break up
with him, but how?
174
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:04,224
What if we bribe Dick with,
I don't know, Kit Kats?
175
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,326
Klaus, I'm curious.
176
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:07,561
Why not money?
177
00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:09,530
I'm curious,
too, Steve.
178
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:11,965
If I know one thing
about Dick,
179
00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:14,468
it's that he hates
getting cheated on.
180
00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:16,637
Is there anything there?
Wait a second.
181
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:20,207
Klaus recently became
amazing at Photoshop.
182
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,477
He could make it look like
Becky has been cheating on Dick.
183
00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:25,012
Is this true, Klaus?
184
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:26,279
Is it true that
you've recently
185
00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:27,715
become amazing
at Photoshop?
186
00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:29,149
Let me put it this way.
187
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:31,652
I've recently become
amazing at Photoshop.
188
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:32,920
Perfect.
189
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:35,623
On to our next
order of business.
190
00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:38,158
Steven Smith is motioning
that his new nickname
191
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:40,460
is Bayou Billy
With The Heavy Balls.
192
00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:41,461
All those in favor?
193
00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:42,996
All: Aye.
194
00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:45,933
Congratulations, Bayou Billy
With the Heavy Balls.
195
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,737
On my way to work,
196
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,705
I bought a bunch
of new ropes for my boat.
197
00:07:51,739 --> 00:07:54,274
I'm talking
really good ropes.
198
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,777
Damn, Dick.
These sound like great ropes.
199
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,345
Please tell me
you got pics.
200
00:07:58,378 --> 00:08:02,082
Better than pics,
I have the ropes.
201
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,551
They're here?
202
00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:05,152
Dick, I've been
really happy for you
203
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:06,787
over the last
couple weeks,
204
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,256
over the Moon honestly,
but you're my best friend.
205
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:11,291
I am?
For this situation, yes,
206
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,594
and I can't lie
to my best friend.
207
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:16,930
I was on the Googz doing some
"I Feel Lucky" searches,
208
00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:19,733
and I stumbled across
a pretty disturbing image.
209
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,636
I don't know.
210
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:25,573
It's Becky,
but this looks old.
211
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:28,609
I'm not naive enough to think
she never dated before me.
212
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:33,113
Wait. Look at the guy
holding the newspaper.
213
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:34,514
"Two Days Ago"?!
214
00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:37,217
How could she?!
215
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,626
Dick dumped me.
216
00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:46,827
He stomped on my heart
217
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,528
and wouldn't even
tell me why.
218
00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:50,030
Do you think it was
because I had to
219
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:52,332
stop sex once because I had
a hair in my throat,
220
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,500
and when I finally
got it out,
221
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,035
it was
a whole eagle feather?
222
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:57,905
[ Sobs ]
223
00:08:57,938 --> 00:08:59,773
Well, we did
an underhanded thing,
224
00:08:59,807 --> 00:09:01,675
but I'd say it's
pretty clear that life
225
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:03,310
is going to go
back to normal.
226
00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:06,680
I will never,
ever get over this!
227
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,049
Oh, hey, Francine.
228
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:11,351
I just wanted to make sure
you were doing okay
229
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,186
after Becky's
big breakup.
230
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:15,823
Oh, wasn't that so fun?
She was devastated.
231
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:17,725
What a great ending
to her story.
232
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,727
Whenever a character's
story arc is over,
233
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,662
I vacuum seal
their costume
234
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:23,463
and store it in
my character closet.
235
00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:24,965
One thing they don't
tell you about these
236
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,867
vacuum pouches is
you can save a ton of money
237
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,869
by not buying the pump.
238
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,403
[ Inhales ]
239
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:33,707
One thing they don't
tell you about these
240
00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:35,876
vacuum pouches is you can
save a ton of money
241
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,144
by not buying the pump.
242
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:40,580
[ Inhales ]
243
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,885
Well, I'm glad to see
you're back to your old self.
244
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:48,188
How can Mr. Taffarelli
not be an all-timer?
245
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:50,390
He was so shy.
246
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,560
Good to have
you back, Legman.
247
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,329
So I ran that hair we found
at the scene of the crime.
248
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,732
You know how we thought
no man could kick that hard?
249
00:09:58,766 --> 00:09:59,900
We were right.
250
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,169
It was a kangaroo.
251
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:04,371
You're a hell of
a private...
252
00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:07,240
[ Sobbing ] Dick.
253
00:10:07,875 --> 00:10:10,944
Jeannie, I'm glad you're here
'cause last night,
254
00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:12,946
it hit me --
the perfect thing
255
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:15,148
for Nerfer's
bachelorette party --
256
00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:16,684
strippers!
257
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:19,720
Ooh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!
258
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:21,254
Are we talking
full frontal?
259
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:22,422
Because I want
to see some...
260
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:25,659
[ Sobbing ] Dick.
261
00:10:26,727 --> 00:10:28,696
We have fun.
Don't we, Clippy?
262
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:33,566
[ Grunting ]
263
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,135
Chargers are stupid.
264
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:37,137
Raider Dave, get in here!
265
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,239
I'm not in
the right head space.
266
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:41,208
Just punch him
in the balls for me.
267
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:43,243
It's the area
right under his...
268
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:46,613
[ Sobs ]
269
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,450
What are we doing
at BDB's?
270
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,319
We only come here
when there's a problem,
271
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:53,653
and everything's fine.
272
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,255
Roger, we need to talk.
273
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:58,091
We think Becky's breakup
with Dick is affecting you.
274
00:10:58,125 --> 00:10:59,492
Why would you
think that?
275
00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:02,629
Because all of your
characters are sad.
276
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,465
During our meeting, Jeannie Gold
recommended a stripper
277
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:09,136
who only dances to
Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car."
278
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,938
Jeff said
Clip Clop cried.
279
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,873
Now he thinks horses
have human feelings
280
00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:14,742
and should
be allowed to vote.
281
00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:18,111
[ Sniffles ] Becky was my most
vulnerable persona.
282
00:11:18,145 --> 00:11:21,014
Her pain must be
affecting my other characters.
283
00:11:21,048 --> 00:11:23,516
Oh, we would like to
offer you our authentic
284
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:25,685
Taste of Tuscany
appetizer.
285
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:28,588
Taste of Tuscany?
Wait a second.
286
00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:31,391
Last year, my book club
tried to force me to read
287
00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:32,993
"Under the Tuscan Sun."
288
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,495
Luckily, I found out
it was a movie just in time.
289
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:39,299
But it taught me
a valuable lesson.
290
00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:42,035
If you're down,
go to Tuscany,
291
00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:44,204
and you'll be
magically fixed.
292
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:46,840
Do you think Tuscany's
magic can fix Becky?
293
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:49,109
I do.
Oh, yeah!
294
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:51,044
-Oh, yeah!
-Oh, yeah!
295
00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:52,512
-Oh, yeah!
-Oh, yeah!
296
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:53,713
-Oh, yeah!
-Oh, yeah!
297
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:57,150
[ Italian music playing ]
298
00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:58,952
That house.
299
00:11:58,986 --> 00:12:00,754
Stop the bus.
300
00:12:00,788 --> 00:12:02,089
Stop the bus!
301
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:09,396
Sad lady, I will
teach you Italiana.
302
00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:12,232
Only then will you be able
to stop the bus.
303
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:15,969
**
304
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:35,856
[ Bird squawking ]
305
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,024
[ Gasps ]
306
00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:46,599
[ Tires squeal ]
307
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,205
Good thing you
learned Italian.
308
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:58,979
**
309
00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:01,548
Francine, wake up.
Wake up!
310
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:05,785
Last night, the most
wondrous thing happened.
311
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:07,554
I couldn't sleep,
so I went into town,
312
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:09,422
and you remember
that hunky single guy
313
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,059
who owns the Italian
soda shop, Marioigi?
314
00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:13,760
No.
315
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,562
We've only been here
for 12 hours.
316
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:16,930
We fell in love!
317
00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,331
And we screwed!
318
00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:20,467
Bella, I love you!
319
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:21,701
I must go now.
320
00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:24,004
[ Moaning ]
321
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:27,207
But then I realized
I'm a strong, independent woman.
322
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,476
I don't need to be defined
by a single man.
323
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,244
-Ciao, bella.
-Mi amore.
324
00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:32,913
-Principessa!
-Mangia, mangia.
325
00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:34,414
-Mi amore!
-Tutta bella!
326
00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:35,748
-Principessa!
-Cara mia!
327
00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:37,150
-Ciao, bella!
-Mangia, mangia,
328
00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:38,785
che ti fa bene!
Mwah.
329
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,720
Did you sleep
with all these...
330
00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:41,721
[ Horn beeps ]
331
00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:42,990
-Aye!
-Oh!
332
00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:44,324
[ Horn beeping ]
333
00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:46,559
[ All shouting in Italian ]
334
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,361
You were right
to bring me here.
335
00:13:48,395 --> 00:13:50,497
In Tuscany,
I found the one thing
336
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,832
I was looking
for -- me.
337
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:55,602
I'm all better now.
Let's cream out of here.
338
00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:58,105
[ Lasers firing ]
339
00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:00,941
Van Smash,
how's it hanging?!
340
00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:03,043
To the left down my pants
and up the other leg.
341
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:05,245
Ha! If you speak true,
342
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:08,848
then you must have
the lengthiest of johnsons.
343
00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:11,084
Good to have you back,
Van Smash.
344
00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:14,154
I'm glad you're here
345
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,623
because we've got
another special guest,
346
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:19,859
my new girl,
Linda Vulnerabella.
347
00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:23,030
Black bra, see-through
shirt, pure class.
348
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:24,864
Chic, chic, chic.
349
00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:27,834
Like I always say,
nobody who lives on a boat
350
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,636
can stay dry for long,
351
00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:32,639
and I mean that in two ways.
[ Grunts ]
352
00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:34,041
How'd you two meet?
353
00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:37,377
We met [laughs] at
the marina bait shop,
354
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:38,711
and he took me
to this bar called...
355
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:41,348
Barnacles?!
That was our bar!
356
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,051
I've never been to Barnacles
with you, Van Smash.
357
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,652
Yeah, Van Smash,
358
00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:48,521
what are you talking
about, Van Smash?
359
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:49,990
Oh, yeah.
I'm Van Smash.
360
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,692
Um, Linda,
what's your deal?
361
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,361
You like porn?
You like Deadpool?
362
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,563
You like something else?
Like all women,
363
00:14:56,596 --> 00:15:00,033
I enjoy the wit and wisdom
of Chester Cheetah.
364
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,402
Isn't she great?
Mwah.
365
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:05,005
Did our time together
mean nothing? [ Grunts ]
366
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:07,074
Dick is always getting
it in. Ah!
367
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:09,176
I didn't realize you were
such a womanizer!
368
00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:11,244
Ah! Womanizer?
I hardly know her.
369
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:13,380
Ah!
You're a snake, Dick.
370
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:16,049
Ah! I'll show you
a snake, my snake.
371
00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:18,918
Van Smash is hilarious.
372
00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:21,654
I had no idea he had
a personality disorder.
373
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:23,756
So funny!
374
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:26,226
Sorry I had to whack you,
little guy,
375
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,061
but hopefully
you got some closure.
376
00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:29,729
Tomorrow, I'll take you
to the laundromat
377
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,598
and let you ride
around in the dryer.
378
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,233
That always
cheers you up.
379
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,835
Will you put a red sock
in there with me?
380
00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:37,504
Maybe I'll come out
a little pink.
381
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:38,938
No problem, buddy,
382
00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:40,440
but you're not going
to turn pink.
383
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:43,910
But maybe there's
a tiny chance.
384
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,578
Maybe.
Get some sleep.
385
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,047
[ Smooches ]
386
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:51,284
[ Door closes ]
387
00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:52,652
Psych!
388
00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:54,321
I ain't going to sleep...
389
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:57,924
until Dick pays
for what he did.
390
00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:03,163
Sheesh, hope this hit man's
better at shooting people
391
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:04,631
than he is at being on time.
392
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:05,765
Oh, there you are.
393
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,600
Here it is.
394
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,136
I want him dead.
395
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,671
Consider it done.
396
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:19,446
Back of the line,
buddy.
397
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:20,647
I just need
to check on him.
398
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:21,981
He kind of freaked out
when he saw
399
00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:23,450
Dick with a new girl
last night.
400
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:24,917
I don't
think he's awake.
401
00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:26,653
I've been waiting an hour
to update the Legman
402
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,421
on the case
of the unsolved mystery.
403
00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:29,789
Together: We're meeting
Jeannie Gold
404
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,124
to sample pirate cakes.
405
00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:32,525
Something's wrong.
406
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:35,395
I'm going in.
Follow me if you dare.
407
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,797
You came.
You're braver than I thought.
408
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,599
Smith, thank God
you're home.
409
00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:42,135
Last night, the world's
most dangerous assassin
410
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:45,305
landed in Langley.
411
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:49,142
He tried to go unnoticed,
but he can't get by our boys.
412
00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:52,112
Our best guess is that he's been
contracted to kill
413
00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:53,646
Mayor Garfield
at his first annual
414
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,183
Mayor's Appreciation
Parade.
415
00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:58,285
Want to know
how we guessed it?
416
00:16:58,318 --> 00:16:59,786
More photos!
417
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:02,222
[ Helicopter blades whirring ]
418
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:03,523
I'll head there
right away, sir.
419
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,158
No need.
420
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:08,295
The mayor is safe because
Dick is his head of security.
421
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:11,298
I was just passing by
on the way to steal lemons
422
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,900
from the tops
of all the farmer's trees.
423
00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:18,338
Okay, Miranda!
It's lemon-snatching time!
424
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,973
I don't think Roger is planning
on killing the mayor.
425
00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:22,342
He's planning
on killing Dick.
426
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,443
Yeah, that was
pretty obvious.
427
00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:24,811
That's what I would do.
428
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:27,180
Well, maybe you will be
surprised to learn
429
00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:28,915
that it's up to us
to stop him.
430
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,550
Again, totally
expected.
431
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,119
Klaus already went downstairs
to warm up the car.
432
00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:33,253
[ Cheering ]
433
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:36,823
Everyone I ever loved is dead!
434
00:17:36,856 --> 00:17:43,530
**
435
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,832
[ Tires squeal ]
436
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:47,534
How the hell are we
going to find Roger?
437
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,701
I have an idea.
438
00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:53,039
[ French accent ]
What the hell did I do?
439
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,741
[ Cellphone rings ]
440
00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:55,975
[ Line ringing ]
441
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:58,611
Hello, Mr. CIA.
That's right.
442
00:17:58,645 --> 00:18:01,047
I know who you are,
but you'll never find me.
443
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,682
Yes, I will.
444
00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:04,517
You shared your phone's
location services with me
445
00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:07,420
that time you went
roller blading on mushrooms.
446
00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:08,588
Damn it!
447
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:09,589
Fly.
448
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:11,224
Lead them to Atlanta.
449
00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,059
They'll totally believe
I'm in Atlanta.
450
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,761
I've been dying to go.
451
00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:18,030
[ Door opens ]
452
00:18:18,064 --> 00:18:19,366
I'm in Atlanta.
453
00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:20,533
Roger, stop.
454
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,369
Sorry, Mr. CIA.
455
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:26,573
I was hired to finish job,
and I always finish job.
456
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,874
You don't have
to do this.
457
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:30,109
We tricked Dick
into dumping you.
458
00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:31,444
What? How?
459
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:33,112
Klaus Photoshopped
a photo
460
00:18:33,146 --> 00:18:34,481
of you cheating on him.
461
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:35,715
We were annoyed at you
for ditching us
462
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:37,450
just so Becky
could be with Dick.
463
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:41,221
So we did something stupid,
but Dick didn't do anything.
464
00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:43,089
Kill me instead!
465
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,457
No, no.
Stop that.
466
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:46,859
Knowing all this,
it would seem silly to...
467
00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:48,127
Do it, Rogertilda!
468
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:52,365
You dumbasses
forgot one thing.
469
00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:55,034
Always check for a cage
in the air.
470
00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:57,470
Welcome to Atlanta.
471
00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:01,140
Dick!
472
00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:02,909
You look trim.
473
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:06,246
My secret,
no bulletproof vest.
474
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:09,316
Wait!
I changed my mind.
475
00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:10,583
I don't want you
to kill him.
476
00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:12,051
You can't change
your mind.
477
00:19:12,084 --> 00:19:14,487
I have a strict
"no-mind-changing" policy.
478
00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:15,488
But I love him!
479
00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:17,457
And I love my job.
480
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,891
Stop!
481
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:21,294
You shouldn't
have done that.
482
00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:22,795
You don't have to kill Dick.
483
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,096
Yes, I do.
484
00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:26,065
Every persona
has a story to tell.
485
00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:28,601
But I don't want my story
to end like this.
486
00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:30,303
Raider Dave!
487
00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:33,340
My story ends
when I finish my job.
488
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:40,280
[ Grunting ]
489
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:41,981
Please!
490
00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:48,321
This ends now.
491
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:54,461
No-o-o-o-o-o-o!
492
00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:55,628
[ Crowd gasping ]
493
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:56,696
Becky!
494
00:19:58,231 --> 00:20:00,032
Becky, don't die.
495
00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:01,501
I love you.
496
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:02,702
I'm so sorry.
497
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:04,804
It's okay, Dick.
498
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:07,006
This is how our story ends.
499
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,975
We'll always have Barnacles.
500
00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:09,976
No!
501
00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:11,378
No!
502
00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:14,046
Stay with me, Becky!
503
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,083
Just promise me
one thing, Dick.
504
00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:19,452
Promise me you'll
mourn me forever
505
00:20:19,486 --> 00:20:21,988
and never love
anyone else.
506
00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:23,990
Uh, okay.
507
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:26,559
And get a face tattoo
of my face.
508
00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:28,661
That way, everyone
will know you're taken.
509
00:20:28,695 --> 00:20:29,996
Shh.
510
00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:33,333
That's not a yes.
511
00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:34,834
I'm not dying until
I hear a...
512
00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:36,703
[ Groans ]
513
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:41,240
[ Sobs ]
514
00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:44,677
Is anyone else thinking this
was Roger's plan all along?
515
00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:46,178
Like, Dick was never
in danger?
516
00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:47,914
Yeah.
Roger is weird.
517
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:49,816
What's shaking,
blowholes?
518
00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:52,151
You guys want to go to
my friend Brandon's funeral?
519
00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:54,053
Dude bit it
in an ATV accident.
520
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:55,522
They're getting
a taco truck.
521
00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:57,023
There's going to be
tons of chicks there.
522
00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:59,826
I'm down if Bayou Billy
With The Heavy Balls is.
523
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:02,161
Oh, yeah!
524
00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:04,397
Bye. Have a beautiful time!
36738
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