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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,927 --> 00:00:09,062 ♪ Leave me alone, big bully ♪ 2 00:00:09,064 --> 00:00:11,430 ♪ Leave me alone ♪ 3 00:00:11,432 --> 00:00:14,366 ♪ I moan the whole day long ♪ 4 00:00:14,368 --> 00:00:17,336 She's just awful. 5 00:00:17,338 --> 00:00:19,505 Thank God she didn't also 6 00:00:19,507 --> 00:00:21,674 get Debbie's red hair. 7 00:00:21,676 --> 00:00:22,820 Why do I come here? 8 00:00:22,911 --> 00:00:25,011 I have my own home. 9 00:00:25,013 --> 00:00:27,180 Can a person go to jail 10 00:00:27,182 --> 00:00:30,883 for murdering... a song? 11 00:00:30,885 --> 00:00:32,584 Wish I wore a hearing aid 12 00:00:32,586 --> 00:00:35,221 so I could turn it off. 13 00:00:35,223 --> 00:00:39,124 ♪ Big bully, won't you leave me alone? ♪ 14 00:00:39,926 --> 00:00:42,160 Ah, that was wonderful, Mikayla. 15 00:00:42,162 --> 00:00:44,530 And it only took you 16 times 16 00:00:44,532 --> 00:00:46,965 to almost get it right. 17 00:00:46,967 --> 00:00:48,667 Sure, it's still a little rough, 18 00:00:48,669 --> 00:00:50,636 but, uh, we needed something for the assembly 19 00:00:50,638 --> 00:00:52,338 for Anti-Bullying Week. 20 00:00:52,340 --> 00:00:53,472 You're doing great work here. 21 00:00:53,474 --> 00:00:54,973 Nothing stops a kid from getting bullied 22 00:00:54,975 --> 00:00:57,742 more than a bowler hat and a cane. 23 00:00:57,744 --> 00:00:58,910 All right, come on, Mikayla. 24 00:00:58,912 --> 00:01:00,011 Let's clean up those dance steps. 25 00:01:00,013 --> 00:01:01,146 You want some help? 26 00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,180 Uh, that's okay. 27 00:01:02,182 --> 00:01:03,148 I think we're close. 28 00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:04,615 His loss. 29 00:01:04,617 --> 00:01:07,219 I spent four years studying dance. 30 00:01:07,221 --> 00:01:08,353 Oh, yeah? Where? 31 00:01:08,355 --> 00:01:09,620 My couch. 32 00:01:09,622 --> 00:01:11,489 I watched all four seasons of Dance Moms. 33 00:01:11,491 --> 00:01:15,226 Plus a week-long marathon of Dances with Wolves. 34 00:01:16,395 --> 00:01:19,764 So, I can teach her to dance or kill a buffalo. 35 00:01:20,966 --> 00:01:23,934 So, my Aunt Louise is going to be visiting next week. 36 00:01:23,936 --> 00:01:25,918 Aunt Louise, remember? 37 00:01:26,039 --> 00:01:27,738 She came to our family reunion. 38 00:01:27,740 --> 00:01:29,774 She drove a convertible... 39 00:01:29,776 --> 00:01:31,241 through the tug-of-war? 40 00:01:31,243 --> 00:01:33,277 Oh, right, yes. 41 00:01:33,279 --> 00:01:35,145 She dragged Cousin Tim and his six kids 42 00:01:35,147 --> 00:01:37,715 all the way to the lake. 43 00:01:37,717 --> 00:01:39,817 They just wouldn't let go. 44 00:01:41,887 --> 00:01:43,454 Well, she's coming up here for a funeral, 45 00:01:43,456 --> 00:01:47,091 and she has decided to make a whole week-long trip out of it. 46 00:01:47,093 --> 00:01:48,725 I want you each 47 00:01:48,727 --> 00:01:51,295 to spend a day looking after her so Kip and I don't have 48 00:01:51,297 --> 00:01:52,729 to shoulder the burden alone. 49 00:01:52,731 --> 00:01:55,065 What... a whole day? Why? I barely know her. 50 00:01:55,067 --> 00:01:57,301 Because it's essential that you get to know your relatives 51 00:01:57,303 --> 00:01:59,603 while you're still blessed with their presence. 52 00:01:59,605 --> 00:02:03,239 Plus, old people gross me out. 53 00:02:03,241 --> 00:02:05,775 Present company excluded, Tom. 54 00:02:07,011 --> 00:02:08,511 And Carol. 55 00:02:08,513 --> 00:02:09,946 And Nathan. 56 00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:14,484 It's a shame we have to spend a whole week doing this. 57 00:02:14,486 --> 00:02:15,986 I mean, she's foggy-headed enough. 58 00:02:15,988 --> 00:02:17,920 We could probably just meet her at the airport, 59 00:02:17,922 --> 00:02:19,388 spin her around three times 60 00:02:19,390 --> 00:02:22,425 and put her back on the plane. 61 00:02:22,427 --> 00:02:23,892 It would work. I've always said, 62 00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:25,728 "Kids, please shoot me if ever get 63 00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:29,298 as foggy and senile as old Tom." 64 00:02:29,300 --> 00:02:31,800 I mean Louise. Did I say "Tom"? 65 00:02:31,802 --> 00:02:33,603 You had a good run, Tom. 66 00:02:33,605 --> 00:02:36,271 Should they shoot you now or take you in your sleep? 67 00:02:36,273 --> 00:02:40,009 Okay, Mikayla's gonna practice the song a few more times. 68 00:02:40,011 --> 00:02:42,210 Shoot me now. 69 00:02:45,329 --> 00:02:47,384 The Millers - 02x09 Louise Louise 70 00:02:58,626 --> 00:03:01,603 - sync and correction by solfieri - www.addic7ed.com 71 00:03:09,810 --> 00:03:11,143 I'm sorry we're so late. 72 00:03:11,145 --> 00:03:12,477 Somebody wouldn't let me drive 73 00:03:12,479 --> 00:03:13,912 under anything that might 74 00:03:13,914 --> 00:03:15,914 interrupt her AM radio signal. 75 00:03:16,116 --> 00:03:18,783 That woman sounds like a real bitch. 76 00:03:20,820 --> 00:03:23,522 Yeah, why don't you have a seat, Aunt Louise? 77 00:03:23,524 --> 00:03:26,658 Yeah, we were really sorry to hear about your friend. 78 00:03:26,660 --> 00:03:28,192 Uh, how was the funeral? 79 00:03:28,194 --> 00:03:29,861 Oh, it was a big downer. 80 00:03:29,863 --> 00:03:32,130 Every speaker just went on and on and on 81 00:03:32,132 --> 00:03:34,665 about the great things Jack did. 82 00:03:34,667 --> 00:03:38,503 Did you know he got a Purple Heart in Vietnam? 83 00:03:39,971 --> 00:03:42,340 Turned that color from eating too many grapes. 84 00:03:44,609 --> 00:03:46,644 It got me thinking. I haven't done anything 85 00:03:46,646 --> 00:03:49,479 worth talking about at my own funeral! 86 00:03:49,481 --> 00:03:50,981 Well, that's not true, Aunt Louise. 87 00:03:50,983 --> 00:03:53,717 You've done plenty of wonderful things that we can talk about. 88 00:03:53,719 --> 00:03:56,353 Oh, you think so? Well, fine. 89 00:03:56,355 --> 00:03:58,355 Let's give it a whirl. 90 00:03:58,357 --> 00:03:59,857 I'm dead. 91 00:03:59,859 --> 00:04:01,258 Talk. 92 00:04:01,260 --> 00:04:04,627 Aunt Louise, I don't know if we should... 93 00:04:04,629 --> 00:04:06,796 Start talking. 94 00:04:06,798 --> 00:04:08,131 Open casket. 95 00:04:08,133 --> 00:04:09,699 The flies are gonna come. 96 00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,969 Okay. Okay. 97 00:04:12,971 --> 00:04:14,404 Uh... 98 00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:19,076 uh, my aunt lived her life 99 00:04:19,078 --> 00:04:20,710 to the fullest. 100 00:04:22,713 --> 00:04:24,313 Uh... 101 00:04:24,315 --> 00:04:27,149 she lived a very full life. 102 00:04:27,151 --> 00:04:28,818 Two sentences in and you're repeating 103 00:04:28,820 --> 00:04:30,453 the generic crap 104 00:04:30,455 --> 00:04:32,388 you've already said. 105 00:04:32,390 --> 00:04:34,356 Let's hear some specifics. 106 00:04:34,358 --> 00:04:35,357 Who's next? 107 00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:37,025 Well, come on, Aunt Louise, 108 00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:39,361 this isn't fair. You can't just die like that 109 00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:41,863 without warning. We weren't ready. 110 00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:44,066 Dead body. 111 00:04:45,602 --> 00:04:46,635 I'll handle the girl. 112 00:04:46,637 --> 00:04:48,237 Put plastic under the body. 113 00:04:48,239 --> 00:04:50,206 Sometimes things leak out. 114 00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:56,845 I'm sorry, Louise. 115 00:04:56,847 --> 00:04:59,047 We just don't know anything because... 116 00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,916 Because there isn't anything. 117 00:05:00,918 --> 00:05:02,684 I haven't done a single thing in my life 118 00:05:02,686 --> 00:05:05,153 that's worth talking about. Excuse me. 119 00:05:05,155 --> 00:05:07,489 I'm going to the bathroom... 120 00:05:07,491 --> 00:05:09,390 where I will likely once again fail 121 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:12,293 to accomplish anything meaningful. 122 00:05:16,465 --> 00:05:18,266 I feel terrible. 123 00:05:18,268 --> 00:05:20,735 My Aunt Louise taught me how to ride a bike. 124 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:22,570 What kind of niece am I? 125 00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,272 I hardly know the woman. 126 00:05:24,274 --> 00:05:25,673 You know what? 127 00:05:25,675 --> 00:05:27,908 This week, I'm gonna help her achieve 128 00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:30,611 something worth talking about at her funeral. 129 00:05:30,613 --> 00:05:32,246 You know what? That's a great idea, Mom. 130 00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:34,148 Yeah, yeah, and I-I-I took some time off work 131 00:05:34,150 --> 00:05:36,416 so I could spend the day with her and-and, uh, 132 00:05:36,418 --> 00:05:37,484 I'll try something, too. 133 00:05:37,486 --> 00:05:39,153 I was halfway down the hall 134 00:05:39,155 --> 00:05:41,989 and forgot where I was. 135 00:05:42,923 --> 00:05:44,358 Carol's house, right? 136 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:46,926 Oh! Oh! And my suitcase is packed. 137 00:05:46,928 --> 00:05:49,196 Oh. 138 00:05:49,198 --> 00:05:51,632 I must've had a fun visit. 139 00:05:51,634 --> 00:05:54,401 This week flew by. 140 00:05:54,403 --> 00:05:57,337 Well, I got to get 141 00:05:57,339 --> 00:05:59,505 to the airport. 142 00:06:01,175 --> 00:06:05,145 I wouldn't want to miss my plane. 143 00:06:07,248 --> 00:06:09,015 I love her, but, God, 144 00:06:09,017 --> 00:06:11,985 this is tempting. 145 00:06:13,788 --> 00:06:15,788 So, we got the whole day together. 146 00:06:15,790 --> 00:06:17,223 But only four hours if we count 147 00:06:17,225 --> 00:06:19,892 for your naps, snacks and rants about immigrants. 148 00:06:19,894 --> 00:06:21,994 So, let's... 149 00:06:21,996 --> 00:06:24,163 let's figure out something that people can remember you by. 150 00:06:24,165 --> 00:06:26,365 Is there something that you've always dreamed about 151 00:06:26,367 --> 00:06:28,000 but never had a chance to try? 152 00:06:28,002 --> 00:06:30,269 I always wanted to sing 153 00:06:30,271 --> 00:06:31,837 in front of a crowd. 154 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:34,539 The problem is I only know one song. 155 00:06:36,309 --> 00:06:39,544 ♪ Oh, say can you see ♪ 156 00:06:39,546 --> 00:06:43,182 ♪ By the dawn's early light? ♪ 157 00:06:43,184 --> 00:06:45,483 The song is the national anthem. 158 00:06:46,853 --> 00:06:47,953 - In case you... - No, I... 159 00:06:47,955 --> 00:06:49,754 I pieced it together. So, uh, well... 160 00:06:49,756 --> 00:06:53,157 what-what if you sang at a sporting event? 161 00:06:53,159 --> 00:06:55,192 What, like, at the Super Bowl? 162 00:06:55,194 --> 00:06:56,893 I could flash a nipple. 163 00:06:59,731 --> 00:07:00,864 Obviously, can't do that. 164 00:07:00,866 --> 00:07:02,065 But you know, um, 165 00:07:02,067 --> 00:07:03,967 Leesburg does have a minor league hockey team. 166 00:07:03,969 --> 00:07:05,469 The Fightin' Titans, right? 167 00:07:05,471 --> 00:07:07,404 And-and, uh, we have a connection. 168 00:07:07,406 --> 00:07:09,506 Their star player Igor Yasin 169 00:07:09,508 --> 00:07:11,474 works out at Ray's gym. 170 00:07:11,476 --> 00:07:12,876 Oh, I can't just walk up on him and bother him 171 00:07:12,878 --> 00:07:14,577 while he's working out. 172 00:07:14,579 --> 00:07:16,579 I mean, that guy... I don't want to get him mad. 173 00:07:16,581 --> 00:07:18,014 I've seen Rocky IV. 174 00:07:18,016 --> 00:07:21,051 I know what happens to the black friend. 175 00:07:21,053 --> 00:07:23,319 Of course, you can't go talk to him, but I can. 176 00:07:23,321 --> 00:07:24,855 We're both celebrities. 177 00:07:26,157 --> 00:07:28,090 Local celebrities. I mean, you know? 178 00:07:28,092 --> 00:07:29,425 Come on, minor league athletes, 179 00:07:29,427 --> 00:07:31,927 local newscasters, bus bench Realtors. 180 00:07:31,929 --> 00:07:34,297 Basically anybody who's ever been told, 181 00:07:34,299 --> 00:07:37,433 "Hey, you're that guy from that thing." 182 00:07:37,435 --> 00:07:38,934 I've always been curious, 183 00:07:38,936 --> 00:07:41,137 uh, about hockey. 184 00:07:41,139 --> 00:07:42,472 I never played it. 185 00:07:42,474 --> 00:07:44,306 But, uh, we did play a fun game, 186 00:07:44,308 --> 00:07:46,909 uh, on a tuna boat that I worked on. 187 00:07:46,911 --> 00:07:48,610 You, uh, you worked on a tuna boat? 188 00:07:48,612 --> 00:07:50,246 Well, I was a cook. 189 00:07:50,248 --> 00:07:54,250 The skipper had a nephew with no legs. 190 00:07:54,252 --> 00:07:56,351 Tough little guy. 191 00:07:56,353 --> 00:07:59,588 He'd slide around the deck every time it got icy. 192 00:08:01,658 --> 00:08:03,558 Five of us would stand on each side of the boat, 193 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:06,060 and we'd use our mops to try to make sure 194 00:08:06,062 --> 00:08:09,130 that he didn't slide under the rail. 195 00:08:10,966 --> 00:08:13,502 That's, uh, that actually sounds a lot like hockey. 196 00:08:13,504 --> 00:08:14,803 I guess you're right. 197 00:08:14,805 --> 00:08:17,571 Uh, un-unfortunately, somewhere off the coast 198 00:08:17,573 --> 00:08:21,642 of Nova Scotia, my team lost one to nothing. 199 00:08:23,312 --> 00:08:26,080 The skipper was not pleased. 200 00:08:32,454 --> 00:08:34,388 - Hey. - Oh. 201 00:08:34,390 --> 00:08:37,024 There's Igor over there doing his weird pregame ritual. 202 00:08:37,026 --> 00:08:39,627 He only counts in Police Academy movies. 203 00:08:39,629 --> 00:08:41,462 Police Academy 1. 204 00:08:41,464 --> 00:08:44,398 Their First Assignment. 205 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:47,568 Back in Training. 206 00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:49,903 Citizens on Patrol. 207 00:08:49,905 --> 00:08:52,072 Oh, man. 208 00:08:53,875 --> 00:08:55,943 Exercise, huh? 209 00:08:55,945 --> 00:08:57,311 Tell me about it. Hey, listen. 210 00:08:57,313 --> 00:08:59,146 My great aunt would love to sing the national anthem 211 00:08:59,148 --> 00:09:00,547 at one of your games and I was thinking 212 00:09:00,549 --> 00:09:02,216 that maybe you could talk to your owner? 213 00:09:02,218 --> 00:09:03,884 Please, don't bother Igor. 214 00:09:03,886 --> 00:09:06,253 I get it... fans wanting to talk to you is a drag. 215 00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:08,988 But I figured since I'm also a local celebrity... 216 00:09:08,990 --> 00:09:11,691 "A local celebrity" how? 217 00:09:11,693 --> 00:09:14,160 You are popular dentist with billboard? 218 00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:16,028 No. 219 00:09:16,030 --> 00:09:18,631 Nathan Miller, news reporter? 220 00:09:18,633 --> 00:09:20,467 WXDN? 221 00:09:20,469 --> 00:09:22,335 I-I walk your streets? 222 00:09:22,337 --> 00:09:24,303 Oh, you did report 223 00:09:24,305 --> 00:09:27,506 where you're bitten by Easter Bunny! 224 00:09:29,142 --> 00:09:30,977 Right, right. Yeah. 225 00:09:30,979 --> 00:09:32,945 You scream, scare rabbit. 226 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,947 Almost cry. 227 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:37,116 Well, I was... I was playing it up for the kids, man. 228 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,550 The-the point is 229 00:09:38,552 --> 00:09:40,686 we're both in the same local celebrity club. 230 00:09:40,688 --> 00:09:43,989 No. I am B-level local celebrity. 231 00:09:43,991 --> 00:09:47,493 You are C minus, maybe not even. 232 00:09:49,195 --> 00:09:51,430 You are just Leesburg famous. 233 00:09:51,432 --> 00:09:54,767 I get free carwash from here to Mount Vernon. 234 00:09:54,769 --> 00:09:56,801 Hey, listen, man. I've got voice mails saved 235 00:09:56,803 --> 00:10:00,305 on this phone from Jane Pauley and Andre 3000's mother. 236 00:10:00,307 --> 00:10:01,907 And you can hear Andre in the background. 237 00:10:01,909 --> 00:10:03,574 I think they're on a bus. 238 00:10:03,576 --> 00:10:04,976 Here, I'm gonna play it for you right now. 239 00:10:04,978 --> 00:10:07,045 Nathan, it's Mom. No, no... 240 00:10:07,047 --> 00:10:08,679 What did the doctor say about your mole? 241 00:10:08,681 --> 00:10:10,348 Hold on, wrong one... 242 00:10:10,350 --> 00:10:11,950 Excuse me, I must finish 243 00:10:11,952 --> 00:10:15,052 pregame routine with naked shower. 244 00:10:20,793 --> 00:10:22,159 How'd it go, big baller? 245 00:10:22,161 --> 00:10:24,729 Just a little, little hiccup, but I'll be fine. 246 00:10:24,731 --> 00:10:27,231 I won't take nyet for an answer. 247 00:10:31,102 --> 00:10:33,637 ♪ Put right foot in ♪ 248 00:10:33,639 --> 00:10:35,639 ♪ Put right foot out ♪ 249 00:10:35,641 --> 00:10:37,641 ♪ Put right foot in ♪ 250 00:10:37,643 --> 00:10:39,576 ♪ Shake it all about ♪ 251 00:10:39,578 --> 00:10:43,380 ♪ Do the Hockey Puckey and turn self around ♪ 252 00:10:43,382 --> 00:10:45,916 That is what is all about. 253 00:10:45,918 --> 00:10:47,584 ♪ Put left foot in ♪ 254 00:10:47,586 --> 00:10:48,885 ♪ Put the left... ♪ 255 00:10:48,887 --> 00:10:50,487 ♪ Oh, say, can you see ♪ 256 00:10:50,489 --> 00:10:55,024 ♪ By... the dawn's early light ♪ 257 00:10:55,026 --> 00:10:56,092 She promised to cover her eyes. 258 00:10:56,094 --> 00:10:57,961 I just wanted you to see how great she was. 259 00:10:57,963 --> 00:11:00,597 You ruin pregame routine. 260 00:11:00,599 --> 00:11:03,967 Now I must start Hockey Puckey all over again. 261 00:11:03,969 --> 00:11:07,136 Ooh, I'd like to hammer that sickle. 262 00:11:13,928 --> 00:11:16,597 What were you thinking, Nathan? 263 00:11:16,599 --> 00:11:19,032 Trying to get her to sing at a pro hockey game? 264 00:11:19,034 --> 00:11:21,735 People need to reach for attainable goals. 265 00:11:21,737 --> 00:11:23,003 Exactly. 266 00:11:23,005 --> 00:11:26,372 That's why my celebrity crush is Paul Giamatti. 267 00:11:26,374 --> 00:11:29,142 Mom, you don't know anything about attainable goals. 268 00:11:29,144 --> 00:11:31,111 You're the one who told me to ask out 269 00:11:31,113 --> 00:11:33,146 that hot bank manager with the hook hand. 270 00:11:33,148 --> 00:11:36,817 And she gave me what I think was the finger. 271 00:11:36,819 --> 00:11:38,185 Could have been a thumbs up. 272 00:11:38,187 --> 00:11:39,886 Oh, my God, you're right. 273 00:11:39,888 --> 00:11:41,321 Hang on, I'll be right back. 274 00:11:44,425 --> 00:11:46,693 We're gonna do something easy. 275 00:11:46,695 --> 00:11:48,595 Oh. 276 00:11:48,597 --> 00:11:51,464 Aunt Louise, we're gonna shoot a video and make you famous. 277 00:11:51,466 --> 00:11:54,467 Okay. 278 00:11:54,469 --> 00:11:57,203 I guess I'd be up for a sex tape. 279 00:12:00,473 --> 00:12:02,441 It's not a sex tape. 280 00:12:02,443 --> 00:12:04,343 Oh, no, it's in my head. 281 00:12:04,345 --> 00:12:06,545 The damage has been done. 282 00:12:08,314 --> 00:12:10,649 Aunt Louise, we're gonna make an instructional video 283 00:12:10,651 --> 00:12:12,017 for the Internet. 284 00:12:12,019 --> 00:12:13,452 They're very popular. 285 00:12:13,454 --> 00:12:15,554 I was very popular. 286 00:12:15,556 --> 00:12:17,956 I was the most popular woman in Arizona. 287 00:12:17,958 --> 00:12:21,025 Till that other bitch moved in. 288 00:12:22,629 --> 00:12:24,429 I'm telling you... you can make a video 289 00:12:24,431 --> 00:12:26,598 that millions of people could watch 290 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,933 and that would be something for people to remember you by. 291 00:12:28,935 --> 00:12:31,803 It just has to be interesting and exciting. 292 00:12:31,805 --> 00:12:34,739 I could teach people how to make a pill organizer 293 00:12:34,741 --> 00:12:36,875 out of an ice cube tray. 294 00:12:42,214 --> 00:12:45,116 Well, then film me having sex with that black guy. 295 00:12:49,254 --> 00:12:51,422 The ice cube tray is great. 296 00:12:51,424 --> 00:12:53,324 Yeah. 297 00:12:54,359 --> 00:12:55,993 Hi, I'm Louise. 298 00:12:55,995 --> 00:12:57,595 And I'm going to teach you... 299 00:12:57,597 --> 00:12:58,596 No, Aunt Louise, 300 00:12:58,598 --> 00:12:59,997 point at the camera, not at Kip. 301 00:12:59,999 --> 00:13:01,499 And I'm going to teach you... 302 00:13:01,501 --> 00:13:02,800 Cut! 303 00:13:02,802 --> 00:13:04,701 And then the Cambodians moved in 304 00:13:04,703 --> 00:13:06,970 and made every porch look like a shoe store. 305 00:13:06,972 --> 00:13:08,705 Cut. 306 00:13:08,707 --> 00:13:10,973 In today's video, you're gonna learn 307 00:13:10,975 --> 00:13:13,676 how to take a simple ice tray like this... 308 00:13:13,678 --> 00:13:15,678 And turn it into this. 309 00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:16,712 Oh. 310 00:13:16,714 --> 00:13:17,847 Cut. 311 00:13:17,849 --> 00:13:20,149 And once you've labeled the plastic wrap, 312 00:13:20,151 --> 00:13:22,451 you wrap it over the ice cube tray, 313 00:13:22,453 --> 00:13:24,821 with the days corresponding to the correct molds, 314 00:13:24,823 --> 00:13:26,522 and voilà! 315 00:13:26,524 --> 00:13:28,857 No more accidental overdoses 316 00:13:28,859 --> 00:13:30,859 or unpredictable erections. 317 00:13:30,861 --> 00:13:33,629 Are we done, yet? 318 00:13:38,968 --> 00:13:40,703 I like a little honey in my tea. 319 00:13:40,705 --> 00:13:41,937 You got any? 320 00:13:41,939 --> 00:13:43,171 Let me check. 321 00:13:43,173 --> 00:13:45,307 Hey, quick question for you. 322 00:13:45,309 --> 00:13:48,310 What age did you start getting foggy-headed? 323 00:13:48,312 --> 00:13:51,779 I'll tell you when it happens. 324 00:13:51,781 --> 00:13:54,015 I'm still sharp as a tack. 325 00:13:57,286 --> 00:13:59,221 Mmm. 326 00:13:59,223 --> 00:14:01,456 I like a little honey in my tea. 327 00:14:02,958 --> 00:14:03,891 You got any? 328 00:14:03,893 --> 00:14:05,560 Let me check. 329 00:14:05,562 --> 00:14:07,061 Hey, quick question for you. 330 00:14:08,263 --> 00:14:11,799 What age did you start getting foggy-headed? 331 00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:13,934 Where is she? 332 00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:15,570 Aunt Louise, get out here, great news! 333 00:14:15,572 --> 00:14:17,037 Did you get a thumbs up from hook-hand? 334 00:14:17,039 --> 00:14:18,906 No, I was right, it was the finger. 335 00:14:20,408 --> 00:14:21,775 Hey, congratulations! 336 00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:23,143 You're singing the national anthem 337 00:14:23,145 --> 00:14:24,511 at tomorrow's Fightin' Titans game! 338 00:14:24,513 --> 00:14:26,146 Oh! 339 00:14:26,148 --> 00:14:28,082 The night Louise sang to him in the shower, 340 00:14:28,084 --> 00:14:29,516 Igor had the game of his life. 341 00:14:29,518 --> 00:14:31,085 Now he thinks Louise is good luck. 342 00:14:31,087 --> 00:14:32,886 Can she even sing? 343 00:14:32,888 --> 00:14:33,987 Oh, she's great. 344 00:14:33,989 --> 00:14:35,922 Yeah, yeah, show her, Louise. 345 00:14:35,924 --> 00:14:38,658 ♪ Oh, say, can you see ♪ 346 00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:41,928 ♪ By the dawn's early light ♪ 347 00:14:41,930 --> 00:14:45,198 ♪ The rockets we light... ♪ 348 00:14:47,668 --> 00:14:48,968 - Wait, that's wrong. - Yeah. 349 00:14:48,970 --> 00:14:50,403 Uh, ♪ What so proud... ♪ 350 00:14:50,405 --> 00:14:51,304 I got it, I got it. 351 00:14:51,306 --> 00:14:54,573 ♪ What so proudly we sing... ♪ 352 00:14:55,976 --> 00:14:58,244 ♪ What the hell are the words? ♪ 353 00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:02,315 Uh, listen, uh, y-you got to sing tomorrow night. 354 00:15:02,317 --> 00:15:04,550 D-Do you think you can remember the words by then? 355 00:15:04,552 --> 00:15:06,719 Of course I could. 356 00:15:06,721 --> 00:15:08,821 Remember the words to what? 357 00:15:08,823 --> 00:15:11,490 Good Lord, the national anthem. 358 00:15:11,492 --> 00:15:14,126 Maybe we should make her cue cards. 359 00:15:14,128 --> 00:15:16,094 Oh, uh, they'd have to be huge. 360 00:15:16,096 --> 00:15:18,263 My eyes aren't what they used to be. 361 00:15:18,265 --> 00:15:19,932 I've been in this house for three days, 362 00:15:19,934 --> 00:15:22,935 I still can't find the bathroom. 363 00:15:22,937 --> 00:15:24,869 You're gonna want to buy a new hamper. 364 00:15:29,242 --> 00:15:30,775 Ladies and gentlemen. 365 00:15:30,777 --> 00:15:32,744 I can no longer sit on the sidelines 366 00:15:32,746 --> 00:15:34,913 and watch poor Mikayla suffer through her dance routine. 367 00:15:34,915 --> 00:15:35,914 So we got together... 368 00:15:35,916 --> 00:15:37,816 Kip, Kip, Kip. 369 00:15:37,818 --> 00:15:39,250 W-We're kind of in the middle of something. 370 00:15:39,252 --> 00:15:42,219 Yeah, me, too. 371 00:15:42,221 --> 00:15:44,388 You think I enjoy spending my free time 372 00:15:44,390 --> 00:15:46,424 helping a little girl learn how to sing and dance? 373 00:15:46,426 --> 00:15:48,593 Yes. 374 00:15:48,595 --> 00:15:50,562 Exactly. 375 00:15:50,564 --> 00:15:52,797 So shut up and let me enjoy it. 376 00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:57,634 Bill Bailey") 377 00:15:59,504 --> 00:16:02,606 ♪ Leave me alone, big bully 378 00:16:02,608 --> 00:16:04,842 ♪ Leave me alone... 379 00:16:04,844 --> 00:16:07,178 Wow, she's really good. 380 00:16:07,180 --> 00:16:10,381 I'm gonna put her picture back in my wallet. 381 00:16:10,383 --> 00:16:12,048 ♪ Take all my lunch money ♪ 382 00:16:12,050 --> 00:16:13,917 ♪ You call me names ♪ 383 00:16:13,919 --> 00:16:17,955 ♪ I'm here to tell you that is wrong ♪ 384 00:16:19,056 --> 00:16:20,691 ♪ Remember people's feelings ♪ 385 00:16:20,693 --> 00:16:22,926 ♪ They can get hurt ♪ 386 00:16:22,928 --> 00:16:24,160 ♪ When nothing... ♪ 387 00:16:24,162 --> 00:16:25,829 Mikayla, stop, stop, stop, stop. 388 00:16:25,831 --> 00:16:27,498 You guys, don't look at me. 389 00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:29,499 I'm only helping her because she couldn't remember anything, 390 00:16:29,501 --> 00:16:31,201 so I'm acting out the cues. 391 00:16:42,179 --> 00:16:44,014 Do you think it would work? 392 00:16:44,016 --> 00:16:46,015 We've got 24 hours to practice. 393 00:16:46,017 --> 00:16:47,483 It's worth a shot. 394 00:16:47,485 --> 00:16:49,719 Debbie, get my arts and crafts supplies. 395 00:16:49,721 --> 00:16:51,521 Mikayla, grab all your toys. 396 00:16:51,523 --> 00:16:54,423 Adam, go steal the flag from the bank. 397 00:16:55,492 --> 00:16:59,094 We're gonna help an old lady remember a song. 398 00:16:59,096 --> 00:17:02,264 ♪ Whose broad stripes and bright stars ♪ 399 00:17:02,266 --> 00:17:05,200 ♪ Through the perilous fight ♪ 400 00:17:05,202 --> 00:17:08,137 ♪ O'er the ramparts we watched ♪ 401 00:17:08,139 --> 00:17:12,341 ♪ Were so gallantly streaming? ♪ 402 00:17:12,343 --> 00:17:15,277 ♪ And the rockets' red glare ♪ 403 00:17:15,279 --> 00:17:18,146 ♪ The bombs bursting in air ♪ 404 00:17:18,148 --> 00:17:20,715 ♪ Gave proof through the night ♪ 405 00:17:20,717 --> 00:17:24,218 ♪ That our flag was still there ♪ 406 00:17:24,220 --> 00:17:29,424 ♪ Oh, say does that star-spangled ♪ 407 00:17:29,426 --> 00:17:33,562 ♪ Banner yet wave ♪ 408 00:17:33,564 --> 00:17:38,499 ♪ O'er the land of the free... ♪ 409 00:17:38,501 --> 00:17:41,469 ♪ And the home ♪ 410 00:17:41,471 --> 00:17:45,540 ♪ Of the brave...? ♪ 411 00:17:45,542 --> 00:17:47,542 That was amazing. 412 00:17:47,544 --> 00:17:50,744 I am proud to be an American. 413 00:17:54,716 --> 00:17:57,685 Okay, everyone, in your places. 414 00:17:57,687 --> 00:18:01,188 Do you all have your stuff? 415 00:18:01,190 --> 00:18:02,522 This is so exciting. 416 00:18:02,524 --> 00:18:04,925 Louise is finally gonna get to sing in front of thousands. 417 00:18:04,927 --> 00:18:06,627 Hundreds. 418 00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:09,662 Good few dozen people. 419 00:18:09,664 --> 00:18:11,731 And now please rise 420 00:18:11,733 --> 00:18:13,766 for the singing of our national anthem 421 00:18:13,768 --> 00:18:16,769 by 86-year-old Louise Ferber. 422 00:18:19,841 --> 00:18:22,976 I don't know when I've seen her this happy. 423 00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:26,345 Break a leg, Aunt Louise! 424 00:18:33,220 --> 00:18:35,354 ♪ And the home ♪ 425 00:18:35,356 --> 00:18:39,358 ♪ Of the... ♪ 426 00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:40,593 ♪ Bra... ♪ 427 00:18:40,595 --> 00:18:42,794 Call an ambulance. 428 00:18:49,097 --> 00:18:51,432 Aunt Louise, that was amazing. 429 00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:54,401 The way you sang the whole song without missing a word. 430 00:18:54,403 --> 00:18:57,103 And that standing ovation. 431 00:18:57,105 --> 00:18:59,105 Nice try. 432 00:18:59,107 --> 00:19:01,675 But I remember everything. 433 00:19:01,677 --> 00:19:03,810 Right down to them bringing that dog out on the ice 434 00:19:03,812 --> 00:19:07,013 to bark the national anthem in my place. 435 00:19:09,917 --> 00:19:11,117 I'm surprised she fell. 436 00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:13,552 She spent two months working on an icy tuna boat. 437 00:19:13,554 --> 00:19:15,288 Maybe that's why she moved to Arizona. 438 00:19:15,590 --> 00:19:19,492 Apparently, she was the first woman to live there. 439 00:19:19,494 --> 00:19:21,794 I-I didn't know any of that stuff, 440 00:19:21,796 --> 00:19:23,796 but she told me she once won the lottery. 441 00:19:23,798 --> 00:19:26,165 But she left the check on the roof of her car, 442 00:19:26,167 --> 00:19:27,800 and they wouldn't reissue it. 443 00:19:27,802 --> 00:19:32,838 She told me she once drove a car through a family reunion. 444 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:34,306 Dad, that was ours. 445 00:19:34,308 --> 00:19:36,641 You were one of the people she hit. 446 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,812 Oh, man. 447 00:19:39,814 --> 00:19:42,981 Time to schedule the MRI. 448 00:19:42,983 --> 00:19:46,751 Did you know she got lost in the Grand Canyon for two days? 449 00:19:46,753 --> 00:19:49,020 Something about eating bad mushrooms. 450 00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:55,927 I didn't quite understand it. 451 00:19:55,929 --> 00:19:58,262 You know that famous picture 452 00:19:58,264 --> 00:20:01,132 of the sailor kissing that woman in Times Square? 453 00:20:01,134 --> 00:20:04,035 She told me that she kissed that same woman. 454 00:20:06,004 --> 00:20:08,039 Now, this is a funeral. 455 00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:12,009 Four days ago, you couldn't come up with one specific about me. 456 00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:15,179 Now you're all talking up a storm. 457 00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:17,414 They're psychedelic mushrooms. 458 00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:25,789 Google it. 459 00:20:30,161 --> 00:20:32,128 Yeah, but these are things you've already done. 460 00:20:32,130 --> 00:20:34,197 We thought you wanted to achieve something special. 461 00:20:34,199 --> 00:20:35,833 Who's to say what's special? 462 00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:38,468 Your family learning who you are, 463 00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:41,838 and knowing they'll remember you forever. 464 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,241 That's special enough for me. 465 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:47,077 We'll sure remember you, Aunt Louise. 466 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,345 And we'll make sure 467 00:20:48,347 --> 00:20:50,313 that everyone else knows who you were, too. 468 00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:52,482 I love it! 469 00:20:52,484 --> 00:20:56,085 Gonna be the best funeral Tempe, Arizona, ever had. 470 00:20:57,621 --> 00:20:59,021 Tempe? 471 00:20:59,023 --> 00:21:01,782 That's a... that's a pricy plane ticket. 472 00:21:01,792 --> 00:21:04,193 Do we... do we all have to go? 473 00:21:04,195 --> 00:21:06,587 One-one person could tell her stories, right? 474 00:21:07,919 --> 00:21:10,579 - Let's draw straws. - Yeah. 475 00:21:10,581 --> 00:21:15,540 - sync and correction by solfieri - www.addic7ed.com 476 00:21:44,333 --> 00:21:47,235 What's up with this Valentine's Day party, anyway? 477 00:21:47,237 --> 00:21:48,836 My mom likes to have a party for those 478 00:21:48,838 --> 00:21:50,370 who don't have anything to do on Valentine's Day. 479 00:21:50,372 --> 00:21:51,338 It's nice, right? 480 00:21:51,340 --> 00:21:52,840 Yeah. Nothing creepy about 481 00:21:52,842 --> 00:21:53,541 a family of hermits celebrating romance with each other. 34156

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