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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,326 --> 00:00:04,024 -♪ -[owl hooting] 2 00:00:05,764 --> 00:00:06,896 Yeah. 3 00:00:06,939 --> 00:00:08,071 Get it, son. 4 00:00:08,115 --> 00:00:09,899 Aah! 5 00:00:09,942 --> 00:00:12,075 -[growling] -[gasping, grunting] 6 00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:14,295 [spits] 7 00:00:14,338 --> 00:00:16,471 ["Come On Eileen" byDexys Midnight Runners playing] 8 00:00:16,514 --> 00:00:19,648 -What the blazes? You've got to be kidding. -I didn't say anything. 9 00:00:19,691 --> 00:00:22,085 -Please, just... -Shut up. I'm not talking to you, jogger man. 10 00:00:22,129 --> 00:00:23,913 What was the name of that song? 11 00:00:23,956 --> 00:00:25,654 -[mumbles]: "Come On Eileen." -Speak up. 12 00:00:25,697 --> 00:00:27,003 "Come On Eileen." 13 00:00:27,047 --> 00:00:29,484 -From when? -1982, maybe? 14 00:00:29,527 --> 00:00:31,268 Like hell it was. 15 00:00:31,312 --> 00:00:34,358 -♪ Come on Eileen...♪-I've been robbed. I say robbed! 16 00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:35,881 -NANDOR: What is the great emergency? -Shush. 17 00:00:35,925 --> 00:00:38,667 Someone has stolen oneof Laszlo's songs that he wrote. 18 00:00:38,710 --> 00:00:41,235 -Did you really write "Come On Eileen"? -Yes, I did. 19 00:00:41,278 --> 00:00:43,454 I wrote this melody in 1852. 20 00:00:43,498 --> 00:00:45,500 It was called "Chum on Irene." 21 00:00:45,543 --> 00:00:48,372 An ode to the local fishmonger's missus, Irene. 22 00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:51,245 Charming lady. My darling, willyou tell him to turn that off? 23 00:00:51,288 --> 00:00:52,985 -Silence this machine. -[music stops] 24 00:00:53,029 --> 00:00:55,162 I've been shit on from a great height. 25 00:00:55,205 --> 00:00:57,164 -[doorbell rings] -And it's not the first time. -Tell them about 26 00:00:57,207 --> 00:00:58,904 -"For He's a Jolly Good Fellow."-I wrote that song. 27 00:00:58,948 --> 00:01:00,254 "For IAm a Jolly Good Fellow." 28 00:01:00,297 --> 00:01:01,603 That's what it was originally called. 29 00:01:01,646 --> 00:01:04,040 I'm. Not he or she. I'm. 30 00:01:04,084 --> 00:01:05,041 [Laszlo speaking in distance] 31 00:01:05,085 --> 00:01:07,043 -Hello. -Greetings. 32 00:01:07,087 --> 00:01:08,523 Is Nandor at home? 33 00:01:08,566 --> 00:01:09,915 Maybe. Who are you? 34 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:11,917 I'm his familiar, Benjy Everett. 35 00:01:11,961 --> 00:01:14,355 Nandor's gonna make me a vampire. 36 00:01:16,444 --> 00:01:18,315 ["You're Dead" by Norma Tanega playing] 37 00:01:18,359 --> 00:01:21,013 ♪ Don't sing if you want to live long♪ 38 00:01:21,057 --> 00:01:23,320 ♪ They have no use for your song♪ 39 00:01:23,364 --> 00:01:26,193 ♪ You're dead, you're dead, you're dead♪ 40 00:01:26,236 --> 00:01:29,065 ♪ You're dead and out of this world♪ 41 00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:33,548 ♪ Now your hope and compassion is gone♪ 42 00:01:33,591 --> 00:01:36,203 ♪ You sold out your dream to the world♪ 43 00:01:36,246 --> 00:01:38,640 ♪ Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead♪ 44 00:01:38,683 --> 00:01:41,208 ♪ You're dead and out of this world.♪ 45 00:01:41,251 --> 00:01:43,210 ♪ 46 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,655 Such a wonderful surprise. 47 00:01:53,698 --> 00:01:55,439 -It's... -[whispers]: Benjy. 48 00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:56,875 ...Benjy. 49 00:01:56,919 --> 00:01:59,051 -How long has it been? -40 years, Master. 50 00:01:59,095 --> 00:02:02,185 40 years. Wow, 51 00:02:02,229 --> 00:02:04,013 you haven't aged a bit. 52 00:02:04,056 --> 00:02:05,623 Benjy was my familiar 53 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:08,887 for a time during the 1970s. 54 00:02:08,931 --> 00:02:11,673 He was fine, but he was quite vocal 55 00:02:11,716 --> 00:02:15,024 about his desire to become a vampire. 56 00:02:15,067 --> 00:02:16,852 So irritating. 57 00:02:16,895 --> 00:02:18,462 I couldn't take it anymore, 58 00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:22,074 so I hypnotized him to forget about us here. 59 00:02:22,118 --> 00:02:23,337 Then I left him 60 00:02:23,380 --> 00:02:24,773 in a rest stop. 61 00:02:24,816 --> 00:02:26,470 In Delaware. 62 00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:27,558 Don't feel bad for me. 63 00:02:27,602 --> 00:02:29,995 -I don't. -I've had an outstanding life. 64 00:02:30,039 --> 00:02:31,345 Got to thank my missus for that. 65 00:02:31,388 --> 00:02:33,434 -Paula saved me. She found me wandering around -Aw. 66 00:02:33,477 --> 00:02:36,001 at a rest stop in Delaware, 67 00:02:36,045 --> 00:02:38,830 high on drugs, talking ragtime. 68 00:02:38,874 --> 00:02:40,223 She got me cleaned up. 69 00:02:40,267 --> 00:02:42,225 Helped me land a job in the insurance game. 70 00:02:42,269 --> 00:02:44,401 That's a fantastic industry. 71 00:02:44,445 --> 00:02:47,491 But how did you find your way back here? 72 00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:48,884 Paula got me to try Lumosity. 73 00:02:48,927 --> 00:02:50,451 Keep the brain sharp. 74 00:02:50,494 --> 00:02:52,017 This is a herb or elixir? 75 00:02:52,061 --> 00:02:55,064 -It's an app on the phone, Ma...-Shh. Let him talk. 76 00:02:55,107 --> 00:02:56,370 It's an app on the phone. 77 00:02:56,413 --> 00:02:58,328 After about a week on it, all these 78 00:02:58,372 --> 00:03:00,025 memories came flooding back, 79 00:03:00,069 --> 00:03:01,853 -Aw, shit. Mm. -Staten Island, 80 00:03:01,897 --> 00:03:03,855 Nandor, Laszlo... 81 00:03:03,899 --> 00:03:05,466 -Memories. -Nadja, 82 00:03:05,509 --> 00:03:07,250 that Dilbert-looking guy? 83 00:03:07,294 --> 00:03:08,382 BOTH [quietly]: Colin Robinson. 84 00:03:08,425 --> 00:03:10,035 That's when I realized-- Nandor, 85 00:03:10,079 --> 00:03:12,386 you son of a bitch. 86 00:03:12,429 --> 00:03:13,300 You were testing me. 87 00:03:14,344 --> 00:03:15,737 Yes. 88 00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:17,521 I'm ready to be a vampire. 89 00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:19,131 NANDOR: Congratulations. 90 00:03:19,175 --> 00:03:21,351 But first, Benjy, you must rest. 91 00:03:21,395 --> 00:03:22,874 Guillermo, show Benjy to the, uh, 92 00:03:22,918 --> 00:03:24,702 -bigroom. -Oh, I know the way. 93 00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:27,270 This place hasn't changed at all. 94 00:03:27,314 --> 00:03:30,969 Ah! Here's another onethat was cruelly stolen from me. 95 00:03:31,013 --> 00:03:33,624 Now sung in every schoolyard across the land. 96 00:03:33,668 --> 00:03:35,409 But this is the original. 97 00:03:35,452 --> 00:03:38,325 ♪ Stroke, stroke, stroke your cock♪ 98 00:03:38,368 --> 00:03:40,327 -[humming along] -♪ Hurry, make it cream♪ 99 00:03:40,370 --> 00:03:42,546 ♪ Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily♪ 100 00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:45,462 -♪ Ah, ha, ha, hee, hee.♪-♪ Life could use more cream.♪ 101 00:03:45,506 --> 00:03:47,986 What I love about it is you wouldn't expect it 102 00:03:48,030 --> 00:03:49,423 to rhyme "cream" with "cream." 103 00:03:49,466 --> 00:03:50,511 NADJA: My Laszlo has always 104 00:03:50,554 --> 00:03:51,468 been quite musical. 105 00:03:51,512 --> 00:03:52,904 It's true, I can play anything, 106 00:03:52,948 --> 00:03:54,297 I don't give a monkey's. 107 00:03:54,341 --> 00:03:56,386 Whether it's a three-way plunk box, 108 00:03:56,430 --> 00:03:58,345 -Antoine Sax's metallic clarinet, -NADJA: Oh, yes. 109 00:03:58,388 --> 00:04:00,564 -or the chimp grinder's wind piano. -NADJA: Mm. 110 00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:02,305 But I'll tell you this, my luck changed 111 00:04:02,349 --> 00:04:03,872 the night I met Nadja, 112 00:04:03,915 --> 00:04:07,136 for she is an exquisite lyricist. 113 00:04:07,179 --> 00:04:08,355 Guilty, Your Honor. 114 00:04:08,398 --> 00:04:09,704 Send me down. 115 00:04:09,747 --> 00:04:11,140 See? 116 00:04:11,183 --> 00:04:13,447 Laszlo, I love this one. Shall we do it? 117 00:04:13,490 --> 00:04:15,100 ♪ Whatever happened♪ 118 00:04:15,144 --> 00:04:17,102 ♪ To sweet Daisy Lou?♪ 119 00:04:17,146 --> 00:04:19,104 ♪ Her hoop skirt was a poop skirt♪ 120 00:04:19,148 --> 00:04:20,889 ♪ When she couldn't find the♪ 121 00:04:20,932 --> 00:04:22,369 -COLIN: Hello! -♪ Loo.♪ 122 00:04:22,412 --> 00:04:23,892 Hi. 123 00:04:23,935 --> 00:04:25,328 -LASZLO: What do you want? -That sounded great. 124 00:04:25,372 --> 00:04:27,896 Have you ever thought of maybe performing live? 125 00:04:27,939 --> 00:04:31,378 Kind of a "300 Years of Great Music"? 126 00:04:31,421 --> 00:04:33,510 But no one has even heard most of these songs. 127 00:04:33,554 --> 00:04:35,120 "Witches Are Snitches." 128 00:04:35,164 --> 00:04:36,557 "Horse-Drawn Carriage Full of Ass." 129 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,210 "Wannabe." 130 00:04:38,254 --> 00:04:40,256 If you want, I can put out some feelers. 131 00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:43,128 Well, if you can sort out a concert, we might turn up. 132 00:04:43,172 --> 00:04:44,478 I'll see what I can do, daddy-o. 133 00:04:44,521 --> 00:04:45,740 -Rock on. -Yeah. -Okay. 134 00:04:45,783 --> 00:04:48,220 Nothing unlocks anger and boredom 135 00:04:48,264 --> 00:04:50,484 -[Nadja singing in distance] -quite like old-timey music. 136 00:04:50,527 --> 00:04:52,921 [giggles]: I'm excited. 137 00:04:52,964 --> 00:04:54,705 Wow. 138 00:04:54,749 --> 00:04:57,012 Can you believe I slept in this closet 139 00:04:57,055 --> 00:04:58,492 ten years? 140 00:04:58,535 --> 00:05:00,058 That's my old pillow. 141 00:05:00,102 --> 00:05:03,018 God, I used to beat off into that thing every night. 142 00:05:03,061 --> 00:05:05,020 -Oh, not that pillow. -Definitely that one. 143 00:05:05,063 --> 00:05:06,500 Same sheets, too. 144 00:05:06,543 --> 00:05:09,546 Hey, can I come to the familiarmixer with you tonight? 145 00:05:09,590 --> 00:05:12,810 -Yeah, sure. -My last chance to kick up my heels as a familiar 146 00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:15,422 before they make me a vampire. 147 00:05:20,905 --> 00:05:22,080 Thank you, Guillermo. 148 00:05:22,124 --> 00:05:24,300 It's a lot livelier than I remember. 149 00:05:24,344 --> 00:05:25,519 What? 150 00:05:25,562 --> 00:05:27,564 -Freddy? Benjy Everett. -Benjy. Ah. 151 00:05:27,608 --> 00:05:30,393 GUILLERMO: I guess these mixers started as a way for familiars 152 00:05:30,437 --> 00:05:33,222 to network and exchange work techniques, 153 00:05:33,265 --> 00:05:34,615 but it's mostly bitching. 154 00:05:34,658 --> 00:05:36,530 And sad hookups. 155 00:05:36,573 --> 00:05:38,619 My vampire let me drive here, 156 00:05:38,662 --> 00:05:41,317 so if you need a ride anywhere, 157 00:05:41,361 --> 00:05:44,799 -or if you just want to, like, sit and chat or... -Aw... 158 00:05:44,842 --> 00:05:47,454 -whatever... -Is that Celeste? 159 00:05:47,497 --> 00:05:50,544 -I'm gonna go say hi. -You know, you don't even have to do anything, you know. 160 00:05:50,587 --> 00:05:52,328 So she was like, "Screw it, 161 00:05:52,372 --> 00:05:54,330 I'm just gonna make you a vampire." [laughs] 162 00:05:54,374 --> 00:05:57,246 -BRAD: Did it hurt? -Yes. It did. 163 00:05:57,289 --> 00:05:58,247 -Hey, Celeste. -CELESTE: It did. 164 00:05:58,290 --> 00:06:00,423 [gasps] Hi! 165 00:06:00,467 --> 00:06:02,817 -Elmo! -Guillermo. 166 00:06:02,860 --> 00:06:05,210 -Hello. -[chuckles] 167 00:06:05,254 --> 00:06:07,430 Celeste was a familiar that I used to help out 168 00:06:07,474 --> 00:06:10,302 when she had too many bodies that she couldn't get rid of. 169 00:06:10,346 --> 00:06:11,652 Her master was a 12-year-old girl. 170 00:06:11,695 --> 00:06:14,132 She's been 12 for 150 years. 171 00:06:14,176 --> 00:06:15,482 I'd say her job hasn't been easy. 172 00:06:15,525 --> 00:06:17,005 She's paid her dues, and... 173 00:06:17,048 --> 00:06:18,267 she's a vampire now. 174 00:06:18,310 --> 00:06:19,442 I am so... 175 00:06:19,486 --> 00:06:21,488 happy for her. 176 00:06:23,533 --> 00:06:25,579 That's so cool that you are now a... 177 00:06:25,622 --> 00:06:27,624 Are... Is that real... 178 00:06:27,668 --> 00:06:28,625 blood? 179 00:06:28,669 --> 00:06:30,148 I vape it. Delicious. 180 00:06:30,192 --> 00:06:32,324 I mean, it's delicious to me, now that I'm a vampire, 181 00:06:32,368 --> 00:06:34,283 -but you'd probably hate it. -Probably like it if I was. 182 00:06:34,326 --> 00:06:35,893 No. It's not for you. 183 00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,242 You'd be like... [coughing] 184 00:06:37,286 --> 00:06:40,071 Hey, you're still working for Nandor, right? 185 00:06:40,115 --> 00:06:41,943 Uh, I've been there 11 years, so... 186 00:06:41,986 --> 00:06:44,380 11 years? [hisses] 187 00:06:44,424 --> 00:06:46,643 Wow. Well, I'm not doing it like that. 188 00:06:46,687 --> 00:06:48,689 I've promised all of my familiars that they'll be 189 00:06:48,732 --> 00:06:51,126 vampires within eight months, maximum. 190 00:06:51,169 --> 00:06:52,519 -Eight months? -I'm building 191 00:06:52,562 --> 00:06:54,825 a vampire community. 192 00:06:54,869 --> 00:06:57,698 We will have vampire music, vampire dance, 193 00:06:57,741 --> 00:06:59,134 vampire origami, 194 00:06:59,177 --> 00:07:00,875 -vampire maths. -Wow. 195 00:07:00,918 --> 00:07:02,877 Are you fully staffed, or do... 196 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,053 Oh, I don't poach. Vampire code. 197 00:07:05,096 --> 00:07:06,750 I mean, my door's always open. 198 00:07:06,794 --> 00:07:09,579 But you have to be free and clear of your current master. 199 00:07:09,623 --> 00:07:10,754 -So it's really up to you. -Celeste. 200 00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:12,408 Sorry. This-this is Karen. 201 00:07:12,452 --> 00:07:14,192 -Karen is, like, dying to meet you. -Hi, I'm Karen. 202 00:07:14,236 --> 00:07:16,368 -She's, like, a big fan.-I'm so interested in your work.-Dying to meet me. 203 00:07:16,412 --> 00:07:18,153 -Dying to meet you. -Sorry. -BENJY: I know it's gonna 204 00:07:18,196 --> 00:07:20,503 happen to me. I know I'm gonna be a vampire. 205 00:07:20,547 --> 00:07:22,287 -I can feel it. It's gonna happen. -Wait, wait. Benjy. Benjy. 206 00:07:22,331 --> 00:07:25,595 Benjy. Benjy. I think I'm up first, 207 00:07:25,639 --> 00:07:27,205 'cause I've been around a lot longer than you. 208 00:07:27,249 --> 00:07:28,555 -Okay. -You know. 209 00:07:28,598 --> 00:07:32,123 ♪ Documentary crew♪ 210 00:07:32,167 --> 00:07:33,777 ♪ I want to eat you♪ 211 00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:36,345 ♪ So, so bad...♪ 212 00:07:36,388 --> 00:07:37,520 -What? What's wrong? -Nothing. 213 00:07:37,564 --> 00:07:39,348 I like the end of that one, 214 00:07:39,391 --> 00:07:42,177 I just feel like we're trying to be too contemporary. 215 00:07:42,220 --> 00:07:44,179 Oh, my darling, all of our greatest hits have been songs 216 00:07:44,222 --> 00:07:47,008 that really captured the spiritof the time, like, um, 217 00:07:47,051 --> 00:07:49,445 -the one about the Olympics. -Oh, yes. 218 00:07:49,489 --> 00:07:53,144 ♪ Pole vaulting, long jumping, we're all quite impressed♪ 219 00:07:53,188 --> 00:07:55,146 ♪ Tell us, Mr. Hitler♪ 220 00:07:55,190 --> 00:07:57,714 ♪ What do you have planned next?♪ 221 00:07:57,758 --> 00:08:00,456 I'm not sure that's aged well. 222 00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:01,979 You know what? 223 00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:04,242 If we slide your coffin over a little, 224 00:08:04,286 --> 00:08:05,896 we could put my coffin right next to it. 225 00:08:05,940 --> 00:08:07,550 Yes, I'll get right on that, Benjy. 226 00:08:07,594 --> 00:08:08,943 -[sighs] -[knocking] 227 00:08:08,986 --> 00:08:11,336 Excuse me, Master,may I speak with you in private? 228 00:08:11,380 --> 00:08:13,164 I would like that. Uh, Benjy? 229 00:08:13,208 --> 00:08:15,210 Leave us. This sounds important. 230 00:08:15,253 --> 00:08:17,691 -I got to take a leak, anyway. -You do that. 231 00:08:17,734 --> 00:08:20,955 [sighs] Thank you for that, Guillermo. 232 00:08:20,998 --> 00:08:22,478 Are there any places in America 233 00:08:22,522 --> 00:08:24,785 that are further away than Delaware? 234 00:08:24,828 --> 00:08:26,917 Yes, of course, but I needto speak to you about something. 235 00:08:26,961 --> 00:08:29,964 -It's personal. -Oh, no. 236 00:08:30,007 --> 00:08:31,574 No, it's okay, Guillermo. You really don't have to. 237 00:08:31,618 --> 00:08:34,577 If it's difficult to say, it's probably best... 238 00:08:34,621 --> 00:08:37,798 -Take a seat, Master. -Oh... shit. 239 00:08:37,841 --> 00:08:40,017 [exhales sharply] 240 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:42,846 [Nandor straining] 241 00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:46,241 Master, are you planning on making me a vampire? 242 00:08:47,285 --> 00:08:49,461 Are you bullshitting me on this? 243 00:08:49,505 --> 00:08:51,246 How is it that now 244 00:08:51,289 --> 00:08:53,814 everyone thinks they can be a vampire? 245 00:08:53,857 --> 00:08:56,599 I told you before, we'll talk about it later. 246 00:08:56,643 --> 00:08:58,775 You always want to talk about it later. Well, what if 247 00:08:58,819 --> 00:09:00,821 I have a better offer right now? Hmm? 248 00:09:00,864 --> 00:09:02,083 -What, right now? -Yes. 249 00:09:02,126 --> 00:09:03,824 [snorts] Then you should take it. 250 00:09:03,867 --> 00:09:05,303 What? 251 00:09:06,653 --> 00:09:07,784 You should take it. 252 00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,395 Well, then, I will. 253 00:09:10,439 --> 00:09:11,701 -Okay, then do. -Okay, then, I will. 254 00:09:11,745 --> 00:09:12,789 Okay, then, you should. 255 00:09:12,833 --> 00:09:14,835 -Then I'll take it. Okay. -Okay, go. 256 00:09:14,878 --> 00:09:16,576 Great. 257 00:09:18,490 --> 00:09:20,841 Well... are you... 258 00:09:20,884 --> 00:09:22,843 are you gonna be all right without me? 259 00:09:22,886 --> 00:09:24,714 Yes, I'll be fine. 260 00:09:24,758 --> 00:09:26,760 Thankfully, Benjy has returned, 261 00:09:26,803 --> 00:09:28,413 and Benjy 262 00:09:28,457 --> 00:09:30,677 is the best familiar I've ever had. 263 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:34,419 So everything will be okay-A. 264 00:09:34,463 --> 00:09:35,856 A-okay. 265 00:09:35,899 --> 00:09:36,639 O-A-kay. 266 00:09:36,683 --> 00:09:37,901 A-okay. 267 00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:39,816 As I said. 268 00:09:39,860 --> 00:09:43,385 Well, thank you. I learned a lot from you. 269 00:09:46,518 --> 00:09:48,477 [mutters]: You're being stupid. 270 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:49,696 What was that? 271 00:09:49,739 --> 00:09:51,523 Uh, nothing. 272 00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:53,569 I didn't say anything. 273 00:09:53,613 --> 00:09:55,832 Okay, then. 274 00:10:00,054 --> 00:10:01,446 NANDOR: I treated 275 00:10:01,490 --> 00:10:03,318 Guillermo like a son, 276 00:10:03,361 --> 00:10:05,146 and this is how he repays me? 277 00:10:05,189 --> 00:10:07,452 I held that little guy in my arms 278 00:10:07,496 --> 00:10:10,151 so he could pretend to fly. 279 00:10:10,194 --> 00:10:13,023 GUILLERMO: Disrespected, unappreciated, 280 00:10:13,067 --> 00:10:14,372 overlooked. 281 00:10:14,416 --> 00:10:15,896 I made him some kind 282 00:10:15,939 --> 00:10:18,594 of glitter picture on his birthday. 283 00:10:18,638 --> 00:10:20,074 I did all kinds of shit 284 00:10:20,117 --> 00:10:23,817 for him that I can't even think of right now. 285 00:10:23,860 --> 00:10:25,819 So that's why 286 00:10:25,862 --> 00:10:28,517 I can't be here anymore. 287 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:30,127 NANDOR: Listen to me, little man. 288 00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:32,913 From Panera Bread you came, 289 00:10:32,956 --> 00:10:35,872 and to Panera Bread you shall return. 290 00:10:43,227 --> 00:10:44,968 Hello? 291 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:46,970 -[gasps] -Hi. 292 00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:48,493 Guillermo! 293 00:10:48,537 --> 00:10:50,321 [hisses] Come in. 294 00:10:50,365 --> 00:10:52,149 Mwah. You brought friends. 295 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:53,629 Ah. Hello. [laughs] 296 00:10:53,673 --> 00:10:55,196 Wow. 297 00:10:55,239 --> 00:10:56,197 CELESTE: Welcome. Come in. 298 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,807 GUILLERMO: Does your master still 299 00:10:57,851 --> 00:10:59,722 -live here with you? -Ugh, no. 300 00:10:59,766 --> 00:11:02,725 Houston and her clique are downin Florida hunting pervs. 301 00:11:02,769 --> 00:11:05,859 -Cool. -Everyone, let's welcome Guillermo. 302 00:11:05,902 --> 00:11:06,903 -Hi, Guillermo. -Hi. 303 00:11:06,947 --> 00:11:09,514 -[cat meows] -And you know Sam, of course? 304 00:11:09,558 --> 00:11:11,516 GUILLERMO: Oh, yeah. Hey, what's up, Sam? 305 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:13,997 CELESTE: His familiar skills are just unreal. 306 00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:15,651 He did all of this himself. 307 00:11:15,695 --> 00:11:17,522 The plating, the charcuterie. Can you imagine? 308 00:11:17,566 --> 00:11:19,524 With those little paws. He's a genius. 309 00:11:19,568 --> 00:11:20,874 -Oh. -Sit. 310 00:11:20,917 --> 00:11:22,614 Welcome, everyone. 311 00:11:22,658 --> 00:11:25,574 Your presence is a blessing and a privilege. 312 00:11:27,358 --> 00:11:29,317 So I just have a few rules. 313 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:31,145 Number one, listen. 314 00:11:33,930 --> 00:11:36,150 Because we are here to grow. 315 00:11:36,193 --> 00:11:38,369 -Yes, Master. -No "master." I don't believe in that bullshit. 316 00:11:38,413 --> 00:11:39,806 We don't do that here. 317 00:11:39,849 --> 00:11:41,677 It's okay, you're new. And one final thing. 318 00:11:41,721 --> 00:11:44,027 Since Guillermo was the last one here, 319 00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:47,378 it's his turn to go get the Shake Shack. 320 00:11:47,422 --> 00:11:48,902 -Really? Shake Shack? -Yes. 321 00:11:48,945 --> 00:11:51,469 -What should I get? -Get Shake Shack. 322 00:11:51,513 --> 00:11:52,775 -Shake Shack for everyone. -Yeah. 323 00:11:52,819 --> 00:11:53,994 -[laughing] -CELESTE: Hurry. 324 00:11:54,037 --> 00:11:55,256 Let's take this furniture outside. 325 00:11:55,299 --> 00:11:57,171 -I don't like it anymore. -Okay. Totally. 326 00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:00,348 [grunts] 327 00:12:00,391 --> 00:12:02,132 Anytime tomorrow, Benjy. 328 00:12:02,176 --> 00:12:04,656 I'm sorry. I tweaked the old back last week 329 00:12:04,700 --> 00:12:07,181 -playing golf with the grandson.-I'm not interested. 330 00:12:07,224 --> 00:12:09,661 Might be easier if I just go get you a new pair. 331 00:12:09,705 --> 00:12:12,012 -Do you have five bucks? -That's not what shoes cost anymore. 332 00:12:12,055 --> 00:12:14,057 What happened to those white platform shoes? 333 00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:16,625 -I gave them away to a homeless.-You looked so tall in them. 334 00:12:16,668 --> 00:12:19,802 -Well, they were stupid. -So, what do you boogie in? 335 00:12:19,846 --> 00:12:20,803 -I... -You can't boogie in these. 336 00:12:20,847 --> 00:12:22,022 I don't boogie. 337 00:12:22,065 --> 00:12:23,284 -Nobody boogies anymore. -Oh. 338 00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:24,589 -What are you doing? -You got me thinking 339 00:12:24,633 --> 00:12:26,026 about playing golf with my grandson. 340 00:12:26,069 --> 00:12:27,810 -[groans] -You got to see this kid. 341 00:12:27,854 --> 00:12:29,812 He swings a club like a young Tiger... 342 00:12:29,856 --> 00:12:31,248 -Tiger. -Tiger Woods. 343 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:32,684 Tiger Woods. That's the fella. 344 00:12:32,728 --> 00:12:33,947 I don't even know what "jolf" is, 345 00:12:33,990 --> 00:12:35,949 but I know his name is Tiger Woods. 346 00:12:35,992 --> 00:12:37,298 Where the hell's his picture? 347 00:12:37,341 --> 00:12:39,866 That's my finger. That's my finger. 348 00:12:39,909 --> 00:12:42,303 That's my finger. 349 00:12:42,346 --> 00:12:43,957 ♪ My baby's gone, got me feeling so low♪ 350 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,436 ♪ My Lindbergh baby, where did he go?♪ 351 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:47,874 No. Laszlo, it is too fast. 352 00:12:47,917 --> 00:12:50,659 -It has to have a ballad tempo.-No, it doesn't. 353 00:12:50,702 --> 00:12:53,618 You seem to forget that I am the tempo king. 354 00:12:53,662 --> 00:12:56,273 Oh, well, Your Majesty, please,may I take some tea with you 355 00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:58,058 and ask you to slow it down?! 356 00:12:58,101 --> 00:13:01,235 Nadja, if we slowed this down,it would stop forever and a day. 357 00:13:01,278 --> 00:13:03,237 NADJA: I am now remembering why 358 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,892 me and Laszlo haven't collaborated in decades. 359 00:13:05,935 --> 00:13:08,982 Because sometimes he can be a giant dipshit with no taste. 360 00:13:09,025 --> 00:13:10,766 LASZLO: She does have a way with words, 361 00:13:10,810 --> 00:13:12,986 but sometimes those words drive me fucking insane. 362 00:13:13,029 --> 00:13:14,335 NADJA: You haven't had 363 00:13:14,378 --> 00:13:16,641 an original idea since 1925, when you decided 364 00:13:16,685 --> 00:13:19,514 to go down on mefor the first time in 200 years. 365 00:13:19,557 --> 00:13:21,211 -Biggest mistake I ever made. -[gasps] 366 00:13:21,255 --> 00:13:23,518 You said I tasted like goats' cheese. 367 00:13:25,476 --> 00:13:27,000 Anyway, how dare you? 368 00:13:27,043 --> 00:13:28,088 I was doing the bloody disco 369 00:13:28,131 --> 00:13:30,090 a hundred years before any other fucker. 370 00:13:30,133 --> 00:13:31,961 I gave you that idea. Colin Robinson, 371 00:13:32,005 --> 00:13:33,484 this is a private conversation. 372 00:13:33,528 --> 00:13:36,052 Sorry, I-I just wanted to pop in and say 373 00:13:36,096 --> 00:13:38,925 -be sure you do some new songs.-Why? 374 00:13:38,968 --> 00:13:42,972 Every time I go to a rock concert and the singer says, 375 00:13:43,016 --> 00:13:45,105 "Okay, we're gonna take a breakfrom the hits and do 376 00:13:45,148 --> 00:13:48,108 some of our new material," the crowd goes bananas. 377 00:13:48,151 --> 00:13:50,023 -[grunting] -NANDOR: I have been wondering 378 00:13:50,066 --> 00:13:53,287 if perhaps I was a little too relentless 379 00:13:53,330 --> 00:13:54,331 with Guillermo. 380 00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:55,724 Get out of the way. 381 00:13:55,767 --> 00:13:58,466 Like all humans approaching death, 382 00:13:58,509 --> 00:14:01,773 Benjy is mostly interested in "jolf". 383 00:14:01,817 --> 00:14:03,775 -Watch the hips. -Uh, yeah. Okay. 384 00:14:03,819 --> 00:14:05,952 Shoot... Chop that thing! 385 00:14:05,995 --> 00:14:08,128 He's not as strong as Guillermo, 386 00:14:08,171 --> 00:14:09,129 nor as quick. 387 00:14:09,172 --> 00:14:10,304 He's frail, 388 00:14:10,347 --> 00:14:11,783 like a baby. 389 00:14:11,827 --> 00:14:13,394 A big, wrinkly baby 390 00:14:13,437 --> 00:14:14,961 that smells of 391 00:14:15,004 --> 00:14:16,092 mashed potatoes. 392 00:14:16,136 --> 00:14:17,964 Let me do it. 393 00:14:18,007 --> 00:14:21,097 Sorry, Master. I'll be strongerwhen I'm a vampire. 394 00:14:23,186 --> 00:14:25,145 So I think I'll pay Guillermo a visit. 395 00:14:25,188 --> 00:14:26,929 Watch out, there's a slippy bit. 396 00:14:26,973 --> 00:14:29,889 He must be dying to come back by now. 397 00:14:31,542 --> 00:14:34,502 -Do you like my room? -Uh, yes. 398 00:14:34,545 --> 00:14:37,287 It's very nice. Big. 399 00:14:37,331 --> 00:14:39,159 -Is that me? -No. 400 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:41,988 -That's me. -Nope. 401 00:14:42,031 --> 00:14:43,206 That's you. 402 00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:45,034 That's not... 403 00:14:45,078 --> 00:14:47,210 If I knew you liked big rooms, you know, 404 00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:49,038 maybe I could've moved you into the big blue room 405 00:14:49,082 --> 00:14:51,171 -upstairs in Staten Island. -No. 406 00:14:51,214 --> 00:14:53,173 I don't need more room at that house. 407 00:14:53,216 --> 00:14:56,916 You know, Celeste always comes in here and just talks. 408 00:14:58,004 --> 00:15:01,790 Well, I like just talking, too. 409 00:15:01,833 --> 00:15:03,879 -Since when? -Since... 410 00:15:05,881 --> 00:15:07,404 -Since... -Okay. 411 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,406 I'm gonna go see what everyone else is doing. 412 00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:12,235 -But I thought we were just talking. -We're not talking. 413 00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:14,107 [stammers] 414 00:15:14,150 --> 00:15:16,892 [dance music playing] 415 00:15:16,936 --> 00:15:18,981 The fuck is that shit? 416 00:15:19,025 --> 00:15:22,245 Ah! And the couch over here but upright, 417 00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:24,595 -because that's how I sleep now.-Why are you being like this? 418 00:15:24,639 --> 00:15:25,901 -Come on. -CELESTE: All the young vampires 419 00:15:25,945 --> 00:15:26,989 are switching to couches. 420 00:15:27,033 --> 00:15:28,425 GUILLERMO: These are my people now. 421 00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:30,993 Guillermo! Come, practice. 422 00:15:31,037 --> 00:15:32,255 It's interpretive dance, 423 00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:34,040 so you need to be telling a story 424 00:15:34,083 --> 00:15:35,389 using your body. 425 00:15:35,432 --> 00:15:37,913 Like Pam. Good luck. 426 00:15:37,957 --> 00:15:39,219 You don't need to be doing that. 427 00:15:39,262 --> 00:15:40,829 Yes, I do. 428 00:15:40,872 --> 00:15:42,048 [coughs] 429 00:15:45,181 --> 00:15:47,053 Be kind to Guillermo. 430 00:15:47,096 --> 00:15:48,706 -CELESTE: What? -Nothing. 431 00:15:48,750 --> 00:15:50,143 Sorry. Can I get... 432 00:15:50,186 --> 00:15:54,016 You mind if I... Just going to go this way. 433 00:15:54,060 --> 00:15:56,149 Fucking girl. 434 00:15:56,192 --> 00:15:58,499 MAN: Why is that when I eat M&M'S, 435 00:15:58,542 --> 00:16:01,676 M&M'S thinks that I have to be horny? 436 00:16:01,719 --> 00:16:05,027 Worked better at the Cellar. Okay. 437 00:16:05,071 --> 00:16:06,463 -Thank you so much... -Colin Robinson, 438 00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:08,857 what is an open mic night? 439 00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:12,165 It's a prestigious showcase of top-level talent. 440 00:16:12,208 --> 00:16:14,036 They call it "open mic" because 441 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,952 they only open the mic for the best of the best. 442 00:16:16,996 --> 00:16:19,041 -Naturally. -So, we're gonna switch things up 443 00:16:19,085 --> 00:16:21,087 with a little bit of music for you right now. 444 00:16:21,130 --> 00:16:24,264 Coming at you from the deepest part of Staten Island, 445 00:16:24,307 --> 00:16:27,093 -let's give a warm Chop House welcome to... -Oh. 446 00:16:27,136 --> 00:16:29,312 -...Lass... -LASZLO: Laszlo, dickhead. 447 00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:32,272 Lassezlo undNadia. 448 00:16:32,315 --> 00:16:34,665 NADJA [chuckles]: Hello, everybody. 449 00:16:34,709 --> 00:16:37,451 I'm Nadja, and this is Laszlo, and we are Nadja and Laszlo, 450 00:16:37,494 --> 00:16:39,192 the human music group. 451 00:16:39,235 --> 00:16:40,802 [scattered applause] 452 00:16:46,112 --> 00:16:48,070 This is a love song to my wife, Nadja. 453 00:16:48,114 --> 00:16:51,204 ♪ You took my heart like no one♪ 454 00:16:51,247 --> 00:16:54,207 ♪ In this town♪ 455 00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:57,297 ♪ In this town♪ 456 00:16:57,340 --> 00:16:59,777 ♪ When we make love♪ 457 00:16:59,821 --> 00:17:03,346 -♪ We fly up and down♪ -♪ Up and down♪ 458 00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:06,436 -♪ Up and down♪ -♪ Up and...♪ 459 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:09,309 Ugh, the couch. 460 00:17:09,352 --> 00:17:10,875 I hate it now. 461 00:17:10,919 --> 00:17:13,008 Go. Fix it. 462 00:17:13,052 --> 00:17:15,010 Uh, Celeste? Sorry to bug. 463 00:17:15,054 --> 00:17:16,925 You said you were gonna start making us vampires, quote, 464 00:17:16,968 --> 00:17:19,971 "Hopefully within the week." And that was last week. 465 00:17:20,015 --> 00:17:21,147 Is someone talking to me right now? 466 00:17:21,190 --> 00:17:22,322 GUILLERMO: That's actually true. 467 00:17:22,365 --> 00:17:24,150 You did say that. And I don't want 468 00:17:24,193 --> 00:17:25,238 -to be a bugaboo. -CELESTE: Bugaboo? 469 00:17:25,281 --> 00:17:27,109 But you know what it's like for us. 470 00:17:27,153 --> 00:17:28,676 What is this, an ambush? 471 00:17:28,719 --> 00:17:30,330 BRAD: Sort of, like, a timeline 472 00:17:30,373 --> 00:17:32,767 -would mean a l-lot. -Okay. 473 00:17:32,810 --> 00:17:33,768 -Music! -[music stops playing] 474 00:17:33,811 --> 00:17:35,726 I'm just making sure that the vibe 475 00:17:35,770 --> 00:17:39,469 is right before I start making all of you vamps. 476 00:17:39,513 --> 00:17:41,297 -Right? -KAREN: Well, 477 00:17:41,341 --> 00:17:42,951 that's what you said last week. 478 00:17:42,994 --> 00:17:44,909 CELESTE: Yeah, I'm still not feeling the vibe, Karen. 479 00:17:44,953 --> 00:17:46,476 Okay. We just need 480 00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:48,739 a change in energy. I think it'll do us a lot of good. 481 00:17:48,783 --> 00:17:52,178 Right? So, who's ready... 482 00:17:52,221 --> 00:17:53,527 for an orgy? 483 00:17:53,570 --> 00:17:55,050 Anyone? 484 00:17:55,094 --> 00:17:56,486 -Me. -Anyone here? 485 00:17:56,530 --> 00:17:58,401 -I'll have an orgy. -Yeah, I know you will. -Let's go, 486 00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:00,229 -let's do it. Okay, let's do it.-KAREN: Do you want to... -GUILLERMO: No. 487 00:18:00,273 --> 00:18:03,232 This song is called "Transformation." 488 00:18:03,276 --> 00:18:05,669 -♪ Bat, bat, bat♪ -♪ Bat♪ 489 00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:08,019 ♪ Bat♪ 490 00:18:08,063 --> 00:18:09,282 -♪ Bat, bat♪ -♪ Bat.♪ 491 00:18:09,325 --> 00:18:11,414 ♪ We're feeling horny for blood♪ 492 00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:13,982 ♪ We're feeling horny for love♪ 493 00:18:14,025 --> 00:18:15,853 ♪ We're feeling horny for love♪ 494 00:18:15,897 --> 00:18:18,552 ♪ We're feeling horny for love.♪ 495 00:18:18,595 --> 00:18:20,293 ♪ Are you calling from afar?♪ 496 00:18:20,336 --> 00:18:22,730 ♪ No, I'm calling from my car♪ 497 00:18:22,773 --> 00:18:24,514 ♪ But how can that be?♪ 498 00:18:24,558 --> 00:18:27,430 ♪ Electronically♪ 499 00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:31,304 ♪ Cellular telephone craze.♪ 500 00:18:31,347 --> 00:18:33,088 WOMAN: Boo. 501 00:18:33,132 --> 00:18:34,307 CELESTE: Prepare to orgy. 502 00:18:34,350 --> 00:18:36,439 Close your eyes, 503 00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:38,441 remember all of the criticism 504 00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:40,008 you had from me, and just get rid of it. 505 00:18:40,051 --> 00:18:42,010 Get rid of it. Throw it away. 506 00:18:42,053 --> 00:18:44,360 -[pounding on door] -GIRL [in distance]: Celeste! 507 00:18:44,404 --> 00:18:46,797 -Oh, my God. -Why is the door locked? 508 00:18:46,841 --> 00:18:48,234 Oh, shit, they're back! 509 00:18:48,277 --> 00:18:49,844 You guys got to get the fuck out of here! 510 00:18:49,887 --> 00:18:52,542 -Go! Go! Run! -[indistinct chatter] 511 00:18:52,586 --> 00:18:55,458 Um, Master, uh, I thoughtyou wouldn't be back for, like, 512 00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:57,765 -another month. -Do you have people over? 513 00:18:57,808 --> 00:19:00,289 -[snarls] -You're not a real vampire, are you? 514 00:19:00,333 --> 00:19:02,291 She was never gonna make me a fucking vampire, okay? 515 00:19:02,335 --> 00:19:03,466 I just had to know what it felt like. 516 00:19:05,294 --> 00:19:06,339 [all shrieking] 517 00:19:06,382 --> 00:19:07,992 CELESTE: Welcome home, Master. 518 00:19:08,036 --> 00:19:10,256 I brought you these mortals. 519 00:19:10,299 --> 00:19:12,345 Are you pleased? [screams] 520 00:19:12,388 --> 00:19:14,347 LASZLO: This next one is a favorite 521 00:19:14,390 --> 00:19:16,610 of the fella that my wife and I live with. 522 00:19:16,653 --> 00:19:17,915 He's called Nandor, 523 00:19:17,959 --> 00:19:20,918 and this is called "Let's Do the Disco." 524 00:19:20,962 --> 00:19:23,921 -♪ -[audience booing] 525 00:19:23,965 --> 00:19:26,359 -♪ Do the disco♪ -Okay, get off the stage! 526 00:19:26,402 --> 00:19:28,578 LASZLO: ♪ In New York City.♪ 527 00:19:28,622 --> 00:19:31,233 -[screaming] -Guillermo! Save Sam! 528 00:19:31,277 --> 00:19:32,626 Save Sam! 529 00:19:35,411 --> 00:19:37,457 Don't look back, Sam. Don't look back. 530 00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:38,893 -[exclaims] -[Sam meows] 531 00:19:38,936 --> 00:19:40,373 [audience booing, clamoring] 532 00:19:40,416 --> 00:19:42,375 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 533 00:19:42,418 --> 00:19:43,854 Hey, you can't do that! 534 00:19:43,898 --> 00:19:46,248 -Fuck you! -[booing] 535 00:19:46,292 --> 00:19:48,032 -The show was going terribly. -So, 536 00:19:48,076 --> 00:19:51,166 we played "The Seafaring Song" from 1792. 537 00:19:51,210 --> 00:19:53,037 -[audience jeering] -[clears throat] 538 00:19:53,081 --> 00:19:55,301 -MAN: Boo! -♪ 539 00:19:55,344 --> 00:19:56,954 ♪ Aruba, Jamaica♪ 540 00:19:56,998 --> 00:19:59,174 ♪ Ooh, I wanna take ya♪ 541 00:19:59,218 --> 00:20:01,394 ♪ Bermuda, Bahama♪ 542 00:20:01,437 --> 00:20:03,047 ♪ Come on, pretty mama...♪ 543 00:20:03,091 --> 00:20:04,397 And that got them 544 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:05,528 really going. 545 00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,835 -How do they know the words? -No idea. 546 00:20:07,878 --> 00:20:10,490 ♪ Down on the Florida Keys...♪ 547 00:20:10,533 --> 00:20:12,492 [woman whoops] 548 00:20:12,535 --> 00:20:16,060 ♪ There's a place called Kokomo♪ 549 00:20:16,104 --> 00:20:18,976 ♪ That's where we wanna go.♪ 550 00:20:19,020 --> 00:20:21,414 -We killed. -Well, we literally did. 551 00:20:21,457 --> 00:20:22,980 We killed some of them at the end. 552 00:20:23,024 --> 00:20:24,547 Such a magical evening. 553 00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:25,896 -Run, Sam. Run! -[meows] 554 00:20:25,940 --> 00:20:27,768 [panting] 555 00:20:27,811 --> 00:20:29,422 -Guillermo. -[screams] 556 00:20:29,465 --> 00:20:31,424 I was at the orgy, and e... and everyone was attacked, 557 00:20:31,467 --> 00:20:32,642 -and they're all dead. -I don't want to know about that. 558 00:20:32,686 --> 00:20:35,428 Stop gloating. Very difficult for me to say, 559 00:20:35,471 --> 00:20:37,299 so just let me get this out. 560 00:20:37,343 --> 00:20:41,216 I know how happy you are with this Celeste, 561 00:20:41,260 --> 00:20:44,611 but I have been very unhappy since you left. 562 00:20:46,003 --> 00:20:48,441 I just want to know what I can do 563 00:20:48,484 --> 00:20:50,225 to bring you back home. 564 00:20:50,269 --> 00:20:52,140 Oh. 565 00:20:52,183 --> 00:20:53,533 Well, 566 00:20:53,576 --> 00:20:55,186 I want to feel more respected 567 00:20:55,230 --> 00:20:56,579 and appreciated. 568 00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:58,973 And I want a day off. 569 00:20:59,016 --> 00:21:01,802 -What, like, every year? -No. 570 00:21:01,845 --> 00:21:05,545 -Celeste would give us a day off each week. -What? 571 00:21:05,588 --> 00:21:07,416 She dresses herself that day? 572 00:21:07,460 --> 00:21:09,113 Like some cave pig? 573 00:21:09,157 --> 00:21:10,506 Yeesh. 574 00:21:10,550 --> 00:21:13,596 -Okay, fine. Once a week. -And better snacks. 575 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,032 What's wrong with the ice chips? 576 00:21:15,076 --> 00:21:17,208 -Ice is not a snack. -Disagree. 577 00:21:17,252 --> 00:21:18,471 But I'm not much of a snacker. 578 00:21:18,514 --> 00:21:19,950 Am I not a good familiar to you? 579 00:21:20,995 --> 00:21:22,823 You're a great familiar. 580 00:21:22,866 --> 00:21:25,478 Thank you. So you'll make me into a vampire. 581 00:21:25,521 --> 00:21:27,436 -Did I promise that? -You did. 582 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,133 -11 years ago.-I don't... That's a long time. 583 00:21:29,177 --> 00:21:30,918 -That's a long time. You did. -I... Did I really, though? 584 00:21:30,961 --> 00:21:32,441 -I may have been talking in my sleep. -11 years. I've been here 585 00:21:32,485 --> 00:21:34,008 -for 11 years, all right? -Okay, well, you know... 586 00:21:34,051 --> 00:21:35,444 -You know, maybe Celeste would want me. -Okay, okay, fine. 587 00:21:35,488 --> 00:21:37,490 I promise. 588 00:21:37,533 --> 00:21:39,622 [sighs] I can't say when, but... 589 00:21:39,666 --> 00:21:41,842 I will. Okay? 590 00:21:41,885 --> 00:21:44,540 You want to come back or not? 591 00:21:44,584 --> 00:21:47,282 -That's not necessary. -Oh. I thought... 592 00:21:47,326 --> 00:21:49,110 -I got a feeling that it was okay. -It's not. 593 00:21:50,198 --> 00:21:52,635 -I got you this. -Aw. 594 00:21:52,679 --> 00:21:55,508 -It's for beating off purposes.-Mm. 595 00:21:55,551 --> 00:21:57,510 -Wow. -Come now, Guillermo. 596 00:21:57,553 --> 00:21:59,555 Assume the position. 597 00:22:01,078 --> 00:22:02,863 Ready? 598 00:22:02,906 --> 00:22:04,212 [grunts] 599 00:22:04,255 --> 00:22:06,170 [Guillermo whoops] 600 00:22:06,214 --> 00:22:07,563 Aw. 601 00:22:07,607 --> 00:22:09,870 NANDOR: I'm not going back to get it. 602 00:22:09,913 --> 00:22:12,525 ♪ When I meet my maker♪ 603 00:22:12,568 --> 00:22:14,614 ♪ Oh, it's just so fun♪ 604 00:22:14,657 --> 00:22:17,530 ♪ Yeah, I'm gonna tell him♪ 605 00:22:17,573 --> 00:22:19,880 ♪ Where he went wrong...♪ 606 00:22:19,923 --> 00:22:22,448 -BENJY: Where are we? -NANDOR: I don't know. 607 00:22:22,491 --> 00:22:25,625 -But it's your home now. -BENJY: Okay. 608 00:22:25,668 --> 00:22:27,409 NANDOR: Guillermo, step on it. 609 00:22:27,453 --> 00:22:28,628 GUILLERMO: You're just gonna leave him here? 610 00:22:28,671 --> 00:22:30,499 -NANDOR: Drive. -BENJY: Bye. 611 00:22:30,543 --> 00:22:32,240 NANDOR: Hey, look where you're going. 612 00:22:32,283 --> 00:22:34,242 [chuckles] 613 00:22:34,285 --> 00:22:37,637 [screams] 614 00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:41,336 LASZLO:♪ You took my heart like no one♪ 615 00:22:41,380 --> 00:22:44,557 LASZLO & NADJA: ♪ In this town♪ 616 00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,690 ♪ In this town♪ 617 00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:50,563 ♪ In this town♪ 618 00:22:50,606 --> 00:22:54,523 NADJA:♪ Tonight♪ -LASZLO:♪ When we make love we fly♪ 619 00:22:54,567 --> 00:22:58,048 LASZLO & NADJA:♪ Up and down♪ 620 00:22:58,092 --> 00:23:01,661 ♪ Up and down♪ 621 00:23:01,704 --> 00:23:04,490 ♪ Up and down♪ 622 00:23:04,533 --> 00:23:08,450 ♪ Tonight.♪ 623 00:23:08,494 --> 00:23:10,539 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 44943

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