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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:11,500 {\move(10,10,190,230,100,400)\fad(0,1000)\fscx25\fscy25\t(0,6000,\fscx125\fscy125)\c&H000000&\3c&H00FFFF&}anoXmous 2 00:00:12,501 --> 00:00:29,202 {\move(400,10,190,270,100,400)\fad(0,1000)\fscx25\fscy25\t(0,6000,\fscx125\fscy125)\c&H000000f&\3c&0000a6&}https://thepiratebay.se/user/anoXmous 3 00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:56,717 WOMAN: Hey, look! It's the President! 4 00:02:58,428 --> 00:02:59,595 And the Pope! 5 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,435 Yee-aah! Yah! 6 00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:08,521 Ooh-la-la-la-la-la! 7 00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:19,156 MAN: Oh, my God! Look! It's disgruntled postal workers! 8 00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:40,386 Wait a minute! Give me my baby back! 9 00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,267 Aah! Aah! 10 00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:50,605 - Frank! Are you all right? - I'm soaking wet. 11 00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:53,900 - I'll get the talcum powder. - No, I had a nightmare. 12 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:56,777 There was crime all around me. I couldn't stop it. 13 00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:59,655 - It was just a dream. - You're right. 14 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:04,327 All I need is a good rest. In the morning everything'll be fine. 15 00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:26,112 How's my little boy? 16 00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:28,239 Getting along okay, sweetie? 17 00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:30,741 As well as a heterosexual can in prison. 18 00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:33,619 I don't know how much longer I can take it. 19 00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:36,288 - How's Tanya? - Tanya's the same. 20 00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:39,416 Milky, creamy skin, pouting red lips, 21 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:41,961 firm buttocks, ample breasts, 22 00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:44,296 ears you want to stick your tongue into. 23 00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:46,132 Ma! I'll get guy cramps! 24 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:49,844 Sorry. Rocco, there's somebody here to see you. 25 00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:56,392 Papshmir. 26 00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:59,478 My people are very upset. 27 00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:02,481 They're always upset. They're Arab terrorists. 28 00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,483 Ma, please. 29 00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:07,820 You're supposed to be the best terrorist bomber in the world. 30 00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:10,322 Stations, stores, government buildings... 31 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:11,657 The devastation in Florida. 32 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:15,578 - That was Hurricane Andrew. - That's what they told the public. 33 00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,913 We wanted to embarrass the United States, 34 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:21,417 and you made the police look like international heroes. 35 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:24,962 A first-class job costs 5 million. 36 00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:27,298 If you want to step up to the price, 37 00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:31,260 I got a target that'll make City Hall look like chicken feed. 38 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:39,226 That's a big target, but why should I think anything would be different? 39 00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:41,270 $5 million buys me. 40 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:45,524 - I'm breaking out of here. - All right, 41 00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:50,362 but fail this time and my people won't be so forgiving. 42 00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:55,409 Fail? Show me one man who can stop me. 43 00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,468 I used to be a renegade 44 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,554 I used to fool around 45 00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:19,600 But I couldn't take the punishment 46 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,353 I had to settle down 47 00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:26,649 Now I'm playing it real straight 48 00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:29,652 And yes, I cut my hair... 49 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:35,199 PA: Attention shoppers. Be sure to check out our special on aisle 7. 50 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,826 It's hip to be square... 51 00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,287 PA: That's aisle 7. 52 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:46,752 Hey! 53 00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:50,214 Give it to me! 54 00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,591 LADY: My purse! Somebody help me! 55 00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:56,178 THIEF: I want the purse, lady. LADY: Help me! 56 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,348 He's a jolly good fellow 57 00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:03,060 For he's a jolly good fellow 58 00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:06,021 Which nobody can deny 59 00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:08,565 Hear! Hear! 60 00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:14,780 Well, we shot a lot of people together. It's been great. 61 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:18,617 But today I retire, so if I do any shooting now, 62 00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:21,453 it'll have to be within the confines of my own home. 63 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:25,874 Hopefully, an intruder and not an in-law, like at my bachelor party. 64 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,419 Well, Ed. 65 00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:31,380 - I officially give you my gun. - Aw... 66 00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:36,302 And my badge. 67 00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:40,389 And... 68 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:45,561 Jane and I would like to keep the handcuffs as a souvenir. 69 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,983 - Oh, gee... - Cheer up, Ed. This is not goodbye. 70 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,986 It's just I won't ever see you again. 71 00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:55,571 Oh, Frank. 72 00:10:57,866 --> 00:11:00,409 LADY: My purse! Somebody help me! 73 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,661 THIEF: Out of the way. 74 00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:04,955 Lieutenant Drebin! Frank! Didn't you see that? 75 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:08,459 What? Oh, yes. Kitty litter. 76 00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:10,502 Two bags for a dollar. Great. 77 00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:15,924 Order. The jury will disregard that statement. Continue, Counsellor. 78 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,345 Alimony had been set by the court. Right, Mr Clayton? 79 00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,929 Yes, but... 80 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:24,433 But not once have you paid alimony to my client, 81 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:27,436 repeatedly defying a court order. 82 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,522 I lost her address. She moved twice, I couldn't keep up. 83 00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:33,817 Don't lie to me. You're under oath. 84 00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:36,070 Do you know the penalty for perjury? 85 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,865 I'll ask that again. 86 00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:43,410 Objection! Your Honour, I... ow, ow. 87 00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:44,578 Jeez! 88 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:48,207 - Counsel is leading the witness. - Sustained. 89 00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:52,711 Sweetie, Mommy said no pounding when she's in session. 90 00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:55,631 Please read the prosecution's last statement. 91 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,300 "Don't lie to me. You're under oath." 92 00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:00,302 There. 93 00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:03,806 "Do you know the penalty for perjury?" 94 00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:07,643 That's all I have, Your Honour. 95 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,312 You may continue, Ms Spencer-Drebin. 96 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,525 Er... prosecution rests. 97 00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:17,194 Defence, Ms Davis-Jacob-Steiner-Laszlo? 98 00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:19,071 No further questions, Your Honour. 99 00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:22,074 Court will recess until after the morning feed. 100 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:29,164 We're gonna win this. I can feel it. 101 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,250 Yes. Of course. 102 00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:33,919 I married the wrong man. 103 00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:36,088 I never thought that was possible. 104 00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:39,091 - I beg your pardon? - Oh, nothing. 105 00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:42,428 Louise, there's no such thing as the wrong man. 106 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,515 You just have to work at it. 107 00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:49,935 Now, let's see. Mr and Mrs Drebin, right? 108 00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:55,732 Now, you two have been married for six months? 109 00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:59,445 Yes. We really appreciate you seeing us, Doctor. 110 00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,947 You were recommended by our last therapist. 111 00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:05,200 Yes, I was sorry to hear about his suicide. 112 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:09,288 You know, I feel it's important to get off on the right foot 113 00:13:09,372 --> 00:13:11,790 and not get caught up in blame. 114 00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:14,293 Now, which one of you is impotent? 115 00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:17,421 - That would be him. - Yes, of course. 116 00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:21,133 - Why don't you ask who's frigid? - That would be him, also. 117 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:25,053 - How do you know? You're never home. - He resents that I work. 118 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,556 He has no idea what a woman wants. 119 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,641 You're so insensitive. 120 00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:33,312 - Is this the toilet seat thing? - It's babies, Frank. 121 00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:37,149 I want to have a baby. Whenever we make love, you get a headache. 122 00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:40,152 I'm not a piece of meat, Jane. I'm trying. 123 00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:42,946 I've got ointments, lotions, creams, books, 124 00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,823 things that vibrate. 125 00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:46,909 - Frank! - Maybe it's your fault. 126 00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:52,331 Have you tried sexy lingerie? Some lacy underwear, a black teddy? 127 00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:54,750 I've worn them all. They don't work. 128 00:13:55,210 --> 00:13:56,210 Oh. 129 00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:58,462 Why don't you want a child? 130 00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:01,590 Didn't I try to adopt that 18-year-old Korean girl? 131 00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:07,012 Jane, Frank, here's what I suggest. 132 00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:10,098 Make tonight a special night. 133 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:13,018 Dinner, wine, romantic music. 134 00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:16,355 Put on the 24-hour Johnny Mathis station. 135 00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:19,608 Just be Jane and Frank, lovers. 136 00:14:20,944 --> 00:14:24,863 We haven't had a night like that in a long time. 137 00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:27,282 - Not together. - Frank? 138 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:30,118 Jane... 139 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:32,788 Having a baby is a big responsibility. 140 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:36,124 It's like being in charge of sanitation at a Haitian jail. 141 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,377 I'm just frightened. 142 00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:41,713 Frank, let's make tonight something special. 143 00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:44,716 Oh, honey, it's just that I love you so much. 144 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,760 My little lover sparrow. 145 00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:50,681 My puppy-wuppy wover. 146 00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:52,891 My little love biscuit. 147 00:14:52,976 --> 00:14:55,018 My little shnooky-wookums. 148 00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:57,479 My little lady cheesy puppy. 149 00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:03,485 Mr and Mrs Drebin, please. I'm diabetic. I think you should go now. 150 00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:06,697 I never thought we'd end this way. 151 00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:09,992 How did you think we'd end? 152 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,120 I don't know. 153 00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:16,373 Some other way. 154 00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:18,333 Oh, Jason. 155 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,557 Ed! Nordberg! It's been a long time. 156 00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,685 Hiya, Frank! You look terrific! 157 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:40,689 Thank you. The little woman got me a Thighmaster. 158 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,400 Where are my manners? Come on in. 159 00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:45,944 How charming! 160 00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:48,363 Sit, sit. 161 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:51,283 Excuse the mess. It's my ironing day. 162 00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,535 I just frosted some cupcakes. 163 00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:56,413 - Would you care for one? - Oh, not just now. 164 00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:59,374 Frank, we have a problem with a terrorist threat. 165 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,419 - Police Squad is certain... - I'd love a cupcake. 166 00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:05,422 - That coffee smells great. - I grind my own beans. 167 00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:09,551 Frank, the reason we're here is that we need your help. 168 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,144 It's great! 169 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:22,230 I hoped you'd like them. Made them from scratch. 170 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,149 I'll just get off my feet. 171 00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:29,112 We may have a lead on a suspect in the City Hall bombing attempt. 172 00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:31,823 These were taken by a news photographer. 173 00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:34,618 - This girl was the diversion. - We had them enlarged. 174 00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:36,411 They look familiar. 175 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:39,373 No, the pin, she's a nurse. 176 00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,667 Can I keep this one? 177 00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:44,670 We traced her to the Karlson Clinic on Myrtlewood. 178 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:47,589 - She's Tanya Peters. - Tanya Peters? 179 00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:52,135 - You know her? - Don't you remember in the 1970s? 180 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,179 The big disco shoot-out. 181 00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:58,892 Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk 182 00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:01,269 I'm a woman's man, no time to talk 183 00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,563 The music loud, the women warm 184 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,691 I've been kicked around since I was born 185 00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,068 But it's all right, I'm OK 186 00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:10,612 You may look the other way 187 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:11,863 We can try to understand... 188 00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:15,200 Ed, what's happening, my man? 189 00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:18,787 Frank, we missed you last night at the fondue party. 190 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:22,624 I went to see the Village People. They're a stone soul gas, man. 191 00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:25,127 - I can dig it. - What have we got here? 192 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:27,295 One dead disco dancer. 193 00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:30,507 Bummer. What a mindbender, huh? 194 00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,634 We think it was a love triangle. 195 00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,971 This is the suspect's girlfriend, Tanya Peters. 196 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,222 Cigarette? 197 00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:39,182 Yes, I know. 198 00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:44,187 Well, we'll need a statement from you down at the station. 199 00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:45,480 Nordberg! 200 00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:47,482 Coming, Lieutenant! 201 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,202 I do remember. 202 00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:02,247 You were one of the first test cases for minoxidil, weren't you? 203 00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:05,584 - What? - I'm glad I could help. 204 00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:08,420 Now, I've got some lamb to put in the oven. 205 00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,130 We need a favour. 206 00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:12,466 It's not that big a roast, Nordberg. 207 00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:14,384 No, not that, Frank. 208 00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:16,928 We need you to go undercover at the clinic. 209 00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:19,055 Whoa! I've given up police work, Ed. 210 00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:21,641 You're whistling up the wrong neck of the woods. 211 00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:26,438 - We're in a bind, Frank. - What about Hedges and O'Malley? 212 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:29,357 They're in Hawaii. Together. 213 00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:34,905 Well, I can't. Jane and I have a special evening planned. 214 00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:37,449 You'll be home in time to make dinner. 215 00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:40,035 I'd have to make pork chops. 216 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:43,205 Frank, think of all the crime out there. 217 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,874 Nobody is safe. You'd be protecting Jane. 218 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,752 You'd be protecting all the Janes of the world. 219 00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:51,046 And you haven't shot anybody in months. 220 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:54,925 That's true. Funny how you miss the little things. 221 00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:57,052 Might be good to feel that cold, hard steel 222 00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,387 pressed against my thigh once again. 223 00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:02,098 The thrill of the chase, to be a man. 224 00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:07,062 After folding the laundry, I went to the Karlson Clinic. 225 00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:09,981 It's always important to have a disguise 226 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:13,026 and this operation was no different. 227 00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:17,489 I had no idea if Tanya would recognise me, 228 00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:19,950 so I slipped on a fake pair of glasses 229 00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:22,285 and combed my hair differently. 230 00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:24,287 The plan was to get in, 231 00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:27,332 get information about Tanya's link with the bombing, 232 00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,918 and get out as quickly as possible. 233 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:34,172 I figured faking an old football injury would do the trick. 234 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:38,426 - Can I help you? - I'd like to see a doctor, please. 235 00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:41,012 Sign in here, please. 236 00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:46,268 - Do you have an appointment, Mr... - Er, Smith. No, I don't. 237 00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:47,936 Take a number. 238 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,479 Six. 239 00:19:49,564 --> 00:19:52,023 - What? - Is six taken? 240 00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:54,442 Does it have to be between 1 and 10? 241 00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:00,740 You'll be called. 242 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,450 Thank you. 243 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,958 Mr Smith? 244 00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:15,297 We've had a cancellation. We can take you now. 245 00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:18,133 Good morning, Mr Smith. This way. 246 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:21,720 I really appreciate your seeing me like this. 247 00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:24,472 I'm sure it won't take too long. 248 00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:32,480 When did you notice the problem? 249 00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:35,650 Uh, in the back yard with my uncle. 250 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:38,820 In the back yard with your uncle? 251 00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,989 Yes. When he comes over to visit, 252 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:45,160 we like to go in the back yard, throw it around for a while. 253 00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:48,538 What did you and your uncle find out? 254 00:20:48,623 --> 00:20:52,375 I can't keep up with him. Mine hurt, especially on the long ones. 255 00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:55,420 I can't seem to straighten it out. 256 00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:57,964 It has no feeling. It's kind of numb. 257 00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:01,676 I may have yanked it too much. 258 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:09,267 - If you would. - For what? 259 00:21:09,352 --> 00:21:12,354 - A sperm count. - In here? 260 00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:16,107 It's not exactly the back yard, but it'll do. 261 00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:18,318 Well... 262 00:21:35,336 --> 00:21:38,755 Follow me, and we'll do the necessary paperwork. 263 00:21:42,051 --> 00:21:45,387 Sign these at the bottom and leave them with the nurse. 264 00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:50,100 - This way, please. - What? 265 00:21:50,184 --> 00:21:52,227 - Number 17. - Oh, no. 266 00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:54,270 - A problem? - No, no. 267 00:21:54,355 --> 00:21:57,983 - This is 17. - Have we met before? 268 00:21:58,067 --> 00:22:00,694 If you'll excuse me, I'm next. 269 00:22:01,112 --> 00:22:02,529 Ooh! Aah! 270 00:22:02,905 --> 00:22:04,864 Agh! Eurgh! 271 00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:07,867 - Sir? - Aah! 272 00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:10,578 Mr Smith, how are we doing? 273 00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:14,749 I've been busy. 274 00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:19,504 - Do you want a videotape to help? - Do you have Dances With Wolves? 275 00:22:19,588 --> 00:22:22,007 Rocketeer? Lady And The Tramp? 276 00:22:22,091 --> 00:22:23,800 An adult movie. 277 00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:26,428 Hmm... 278 00:22:27,930 --> 00:22:30,098 Ooh! Aah! Yeow! 279 00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:38,440 The tape was very entertaining. 280 00:22:39,316 --> 00:22:41,276 Follow me. 281 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,945 Do you have Spartacus? 282 00:23:05,885 --> 00:23:08,386 PA: Maintenance. Clean-up, room 7. 283 00:23:08,471 --> 00:23:11,765 Maintenance. Clean-up, room 7. Stat. 284 00:23:17,772 --> 00:23:20,648 - What are you doing? - Just freshening up. 285 00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:24,652 You should look your best even though you're by yourself. 286 00:23:26,072 --> 00:23:27,864 Are you sure we've never met? 287 00:23:27,948 --> 00:23:30,742 Here's my cup. Back to work. 288 00:23:32,286 --> 00:23:34,579 - Knocking. - Mr Smith? 289 00:23:34,997 --> 00:23:38,166 - Are you okay in there? - I could use a little help. 290 00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:42,837 PA: Dr Rosenblatt, foreplay in room 7, please. 291 00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:44,798 Dr Rosenblatt. 292 00:24:02,691 --> 00:24:05,610 Honey, I've been waiting all day. 293 00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:10,073 I'm wearing the nightgown you bought me for our honeymoon. 294 00:24:13,244 --> 00:24:14,744 Tonight's going to be special. 295 00:24:14,829 --> 00:24:18,123 I'm going to make love to you for hours and hours. 296 00:24:18,916 --> 00:24:21,042 Wouldn't Mr Happy like that? 297 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,588 - Hours? - Like our first time together. 298 00:24:25,673 --> 00:24:29,592 Jane, why don't I soak in the tub for a couple of days? 299 00:24:29,677 --> 00:24:31,970 Possibly a week. 300 00:24:32,054 --> 00:24:33,638 You're so cute. 301 00:24:33,722 --> 00:24:36,641 Let me go get the oysters and clams. 302 00:24:36,809 --> 00:24:39,477 Walk my way 303 00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:44,440 And a thousand violins 304 00:24:44,567 --> 00:24:46,734 Begin to play 305 00:24:47,987 --> 00:24:49,571 Or it might be the sound 306 00:24:49,738 --> 00:24:52,740 Of your hello 307 00:24:53,242 --> 00:24:55,577 That music I hear 308 00:24:56,579 --> 00:24:58,079 I get misty 309 00:24:58,706 --> 00:25:01,958 The moment you're near 310 00:25:05,921 --> 00:25:06,921 You can say 311 00:25:07,131 --> 00:25:11,342 That you're leading me on... 312 00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:13,178 Here. 313 00:25:13,262 --> 00:25:15,930 I'll shave your back like last time. 314 00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:18,933 Jane, I really don't think we should. I... 315 00:25:19,935 --> 00:25:22,395 Frank! What's this? 316 00:25:22,479 --> 00:25:24,397 I fell on a rake. 317 00:25:24,481 --> 00:25:28,401 You're lying. Now I know why Ed's been calling. 318 00:25:28,485 --> 00:25:32,822 - You're back on a case, aren't you? - No, I swear. It's another woman! 319 00:25:32,907 --> 00:25:34,866 In your wildest dreams! 320 00:25:34,950 --> 00:25:39,204 It's bad enough not having a baby, but I warned you about Police Squad, 321 00:25:39,288 --> 00:25:41,831 you white Anglo male! 322 00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:43,917 Jane! Ah! Jane! 323 00:25:44,335 --> 00:25:48,254 It was nothing, Jane. I was doing Ed a small favour! 324 00:25:48,339 --> 00:25:51,090 Some retirement. I'm leaving, Frank. 325 00:25:51,175 --> 00:25:53,635 I never thought you'd go back on your word. 326 00:25:53,719 --> 00:25:55,970 - Aren't you being hasty? - I don't think so. 327 00:25:56,096 --> 00:26:00,225 That's my cab. I'll be at Louise's. 328 00:26:00,309 --> 00:26:05,146 Oh, Frank, how could you? We need time apart to think about us. 329 00:26:05,231 --> 00:26:08,566 I'm not going to think. Why start now? I love you. 330 00:26:08,651 --> 00:26:11,736 Look, baby, I am what I am and I do what I do. 331 00:26:11,820 --> 00:26:14,239 A few guys make shoelaces, some lay sod, 332 00:26:14,323 --> 00:26:16,574 some make a living neutering animals. 333 00:26:16,659 --> 00:26:19,077 - I'm a cop. - Pretty speech, Frank. 334 00:26:19,161 --> 00:26:21,412 But my mind is made up. I'm leaving. 335 00:26:21,497 --> 00:26:22,872 All right. 336 00:26:22,957 --> 00:26:24,999 Then take this with you. 337 00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:32,674 You know how my lips feel about things. 338 00:26:39,682 --> 00:26:41,266 Goodbye, Frank. 339 00:26:41,350 --> 00:26:46,020 RADIO: You're listening to KSAD, all-depressing, all the time. 340 00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:49,607 Here's a dedication to Frank from Jane, who just called from a taxi. 341 00:26:49,692 --> 00:26:51,859 "Frank, you lying weasel-weenie." 342 00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:56,698 "First you shoot blanks, now you're letting all the heat out..." 343 00:27:00,202 --> 00:27:04,330 He said he'd never go back to police work. Once a cop, always a cop. 344 00:27:04,415 --> 00:27:08,710 - He's married to his work. - You'll always come in second. 345 00:27:08,836 --> 00:27:13,339 There was an article in Cosmo, "Why all men are pigs". 346 00:27:13,424 --> 00:27:16,384 "Frank" is just another word for loser. 347 00:27:16,468 --> 00:27:18,136 I never want to see him again. 348 00:27:18,220 --> 00:27:20,972 I want to get as far away as possible. 349 00:27:21,056 --> 00:27:23,891 We'll go to my friend's cabin by the smelting plant. 350 00:27:23,976 --> 00:27:25,977 The fresh air will do you good. 351 00:27:26,061 --> 00:27:28,646 Go easy. That's your second bottle of Chanel. 352 00:27:28,731 --> 00:27:32,483 You're witnessing the beginning of a new Jane Spencer-Drebin. 353 00:27:32,568 --> 00:27:36,070 No more little miss perky, devoting her life to one man. 354 00:27:36,155 --> 00:27:38,114 I'm out for the new me. 355 00:27:38,198 --> 00:27:40,241 Let's burn rubber. 356 00:27:43,037 --> 00:27:46,998 - Didn't forget anything, did you? - I hope not. 357 00:27:50,419 --> 00:27:54,756 Just calm down, ma'am. How many bodies did you find in your pool? 358 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:59,260 Sir, killing a gang member's only an $18 fine. Just mail it in. 359 00:27:59,386 --> 00:28:02,055 Frank! Glad you could make it! 360 00:28:02,222 --> 00:28:03,681 - Welcome, buddy. - Nordberg. 361 00:28:03,807 --> 00:28:06,059 Did you find Tanya's address, Frank? 362 00:28:06,143 --> 00:28:10,271 I wrote it on a hanky, and I can't remember what I did with it. 363 00:28:10,397 --> 00:28:13,816 - I'm getting a bit rusty. - It could happen to anybody. 364 00:28:13,901 --> 00:28:17,570 I brought you some of Frank's never-fail fudge! 365 00:28:18,322 --> 00:28:20,698 You go on about your business. 366 00:28:20,783 --> 00:28:23,701 I'll stay out of your hair. 367 00:28:23,786 --> 00:28:25,244 It'll be... 368 00:28:26,622 --> 00:28:31,042 Frank, let me take that. We've got a surprise for you. 369 00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:34,754 It's in honour of your 30 years on the force. Nordberg. 370 00:28:37,216 --> 00:28:40,718 Oh, boy. This is really great. 371 00:28:44,431 --> 00:28:46,516 Thank you, guys. 372 00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:48,393 We thought it might cheer you up. 373 00:28:48,477 --> 00:28:50,561 We heard about you and Jane. 374 00:28:50,646 --> 00:28:54,690 Jane, Jane. That name will always remind me of her. 375 00:28:54,775 --> 00:28:57,985 Frank, I feel really bad about all of this. 376 00:28:58,070 --> 00:28:59,987 If there's anything you need. 377 00:29:00,072 --> 00:29:02,240 Dr Kevorkian's home phone number? 378 00:29:02,324 --> 00:29:04,909 Nordberg, put it together. 379 00:29:04,993 --> 00:29:07,620 - Frank, you know we're here for you. - Thanks, Ed. 380 00:29:07,704 --> 00:29:11,207 Well, look who's here. Hi, Frank. Nice to see you. 381 00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:14,877 - I've got that data on the bomb. - What did you find out? 382 00:29:15,003 --> 00:29:17,755 The explosive is a very fine powder. 383 00:29:18,298 --> 00:29:22,427 - It tastes like... - That's fertiliser. Another case. 384 00:29:22,511 --> 00:29:25,054 This is what I'm talking about. 385 00:29:25,139 --> 00:29:28,015 We detected a high quantity of nitroglycerine. 386 00:29:28,100 --> 00:29:31,936 - Can you tell us where it came from? - I'd be glad to. 387 00:29:32,020 --> 00:29:34,939 Billions of years ago, the Earth was a molten mass... 388 00:29:35,023 --> 00:29:37,233 Ted, I'm talking about the powder. 389 00:29:37,317 --> 00:29:41,529 We don't know about that. Let me take that urine specimen. 390 00:29:42,030 --> 00:29:45,783 We found a list of the bomber's plans at the scene. 391 00:29:45,868 --> 00:29:47,243 On a hunch, we analysed the paper. 392 00:29:47,327 --> 00:29:49,745 - And you got something? - Yes. 393 00:29:49,830 --> 00:29:51,914 The paper's from Statesville Prison. 394 00:29:51,999 --> 00:29:56,377 - Are you sure? - Positive. We analysed the wood fibres 395 00:29:56,462 --> 00:29:59,547 and found them to be from the rare Canary Island pine, 396 00:29:59,673 --> 00:30:01,007 which grows only in Oregon. 397 00:30:01,091 --> 00:30:03,509 Contacting paper mills in that area 398 00:30:03,594 --> 00:30:06,220 led us to a distribution centre in Tacoma. 399 00:30:06,305 --> 00:30:08,598 Unfortunately, the trail ended there. 400 00:30:08,682 --> 00:30:12,351 - How'd you trace it to the prison? - Right here on the letterhead. 401 00:30:13,061 --> 00:30:16,731 After comparing handwriting of every known bomber 402 00:30:16,857 --> 00:30:18,733 serving a stretch in Statesville, 403 00:30:18,817 --> 00:30:20,943 we came up with a suspect. Rocco Dillon. 404 00:30:21,028 --> 00:30:23,946 He's masterminding the bombings from inside the prison. 405 00:30:24,031 --> 00:30:27,950 There's only one way to find out where Rocco will strike next. 406 00:30:28,035 --> 00:30:30,328 We have to send someone in there. 407 00:30:30,412 --> 00:30:34,332 - I'll do it. - I wouldn't feel right about that. 408 00:30:34,416 --> 00:30:37,084 If Rocco thinks you're a cop, you might end up dead. 409 00:30:37,169 --> 00:30:39,837 "You might end up dead" is my middle name. 410 00:30:39,922 --> 00:30:41,506 What about Jane? 411 00:30:41,590 --> 00:30:44,675 I don't know her middle name. I need the action. 412 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:46,511 I'm going inside the big house. 413 00:30:46,595 --> 00:30:49,847 Frank, Ed. I think you might want to see this. 414 00:30:49,932 --> 00:30:53,601 We're testing out a prototype for an anti-carjacking device. 415 00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:55,811 We'll see how it works. 416 00:30:55,896 --> 00:30:57,104 Get out! 417 00:30:57,940 --> 00:30:59,440 Don't make me... Argh! 418 00:31:04,905 --> 00:31:07,114 We call it the Denver jockstrap. 419 00:31:14,540 --> 00:31:18,709 After being retired for six months, I was finally back in action. 420 00:31:18,835 --> 00:31:23,965 Faster than saying "spread 'em", I was in Statesville Prison. 421 00:31:24,049 --> 00:31:27,218 I was surrounded by pimps, rapists and murderers. 422 00:31:27,302 --> 00:31:30,388 It was like being in the stands at an LA Raiders game. 423 00:31:30,472 --> 00:31:35,601 It was going to take all my police experience just to stay alive here. 424 00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:49,574 After a long and generous cavity search, 425 00:31:49,658 --> 00:31:52,660 I reached my destination, Maximum Security, 426 00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:56,414 home of some of the most violent sociopaths in the country. 427 00:31:56,498 --> 00:31:59,083 And the worst of them all, Rocco Dillon. 428 00:32:02,921 --> 00:32:04,255 GUARD: All right, in here. 429 00:32:04,339 --> 00:32:07,049 Ain't no prison yet could hold me. 430 00:32:07,175 --> 00:32:08,718 Attica! Attica! 431 00:32:08,844 --> 00:32:12,096 Power to the brothers! Kill whitey! 432 00:32:12,180 --> 00:32:13,931 Kill whitey! 433 00:32:14,016 --> 00:32:16,267 PRISONER: Knock it off! 434 00:32:19,646 --> 00:32:21,772 You're chirping loud for a new canary. 435 00:32:21,857 --> 00:32:25,610 Keep flashing the big eyes and I'll rotate your jaw. 436 00:32:25,694 --> 00:32:29,280 Hey! You know who you talking to? 437 00:32:29,364 --> 00:32:31,449 The man is Rocco Dillon. 438 00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:35,077 - Where's your prison number? - It's unlisted. 439 00:32:35,162 --> 00:32:38,789 Just call me Nick "The Slasher" McGirk. 440 00:32:38,874 --> 00:32:43,127 Look, I'm the muscle in this pen. Just stay out of my way. 441 00:32:43,211 --> 00:32:45,463 You just watch your step, McGirk. 442 00:32:45,547 --> 00:32:48,299 Take it from me, this place changes a man. 443 00:32:48,383 --> 00:32:49,925 Yeah? How? 444 00:32:50,010 --> 00:32:51,677 I used to be white. 445 00:32:53,597 --> 00:32:56,265 I was the drummer for the Osmonds. 446 00:32:56,350 --> 00:33:00,895 Screw with me, he'll make you feel pain like never before. 447 00:33:00,979 --> 00:33:03,689 I know. I remember the Osmonds. 448 00:33:05,025 --> 00:33:08,319 - Better hit the rack, McGirk. - In a minute. 449 00:33:08,403 --> 00:33:12,823 First I'm gonna make a list of who I'm gonna kill in the next few days. 450 00:33:12,908 --> 00:33:15,826 GUARD: Lights out. Lockdown in two minutes. 451 00:33:19,748 --> 00:33:22,917 My dearest snooky wookums dumpling buns, 452 00:33:23,001 --> 00:33:24,835 I miss you so much. 453 00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:29,799 I haven't hurt this bad since the last time I was dumped. 454 00:33:29,883 --> 00:33:33,844 I remember it well. Her name was Gabriella. 455 00:33:33,929 --> 00:33:35,888 We were supposed to be married, 456 00:33:35,972 --> 00:33:39,433 but on the day of our wedding, she never showed up. 457 00:33:43,522 --> 00:33:48,067 I was heartbroken. I figured she had fallen for another man, 458 00:33:48,151 --> 00:33:51,195 someone who could do to her what I never could. 459 00:33:51,279 --> 00:33:55,116 I thought my life was over until that one glorious day. 460 00:33:56,785 --> 00:33:58,869 That was the day you became my wife. 461 00:33:58,954 --> 00:34:01,997 Our friends gathered to celebrate our love. 462 00:34:02,082 --> 00:34:03,999 It seems like only yesterday. 463 00:34:04,084 --> 00:34:06,377 We were all so overjoyed. 464 00:34:06,461 --> 00:34:09,714 I remember wishing we could take everyone with us. 465 00:34:09,798 --> 00:34:11,465 That was the happiest day of my life. 466 00:34:11,550 --> 00:34:15,845 I remember the plans we made. Things were going to be so perfect. 467 00:34:15,929 --> 00:34:19,223 We got that housekeeper you always wanted. 468 00:34:19,307 --> 00:34:21,642 Hi, Mr D. Hi, Mrs D. 469 00:34:21,727 --> 00:34:24,770 And I knew that eventually our dream would come true. 470 00:34:24,855 --> 00:34:28,190 One day we'd have our own Frank Drebin Jr. 471 00:34:28,275 --> 00:34:30,735 ROCCO: Shut up. I'm trying to get some sleep. 472 00:34:30,819 --> 00:34:33,738 Nah, it's no use. She'll never come back. 473 00:34:39,828 --> 00:34:42,371 You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain 474 00:34:42,914 --> 00:34:45,374 Too much love drives a man insane 475 00:34:45,834 --> 00:34:48,377 You broke my will, but what a thrill 476 00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:51,797 Goodness gracious, great balls of fire! 477 00:34:52,174 --> 00:34:54,800 I laughed at love cos I thought it was funny 478 00:34:55,051 --> 00:34:57,720 You came along and moved me, honey 479 00:34:58,305 --> 00:35:00,681 I changed my mind, this love is fine 480 00:35:01,349 --> 00:35:04,059 Goodness gracious, great balls of fire! 481 00:35:39,638 --> 00:35:41,680 Bend over and pick it up for me, 482 00:35:42,766 --> 00:35:44,558 would you, lover? 483 00:35:44,643 --> 00:35:46,477 No problem. 484 00:35:56,988 --> 00:35:59,990 Rocco could tell from my escapade in the shower 485 00:36:00,075 --> 00:36:02,117 that I was well-endowed with courage. 486 00:36:02,202 --> 00:36:04,119 Now I had to get on the inside. 487 00:36:04,204 --> 00:36:08,457 Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel things out. 488 00:36:09,876 --> 00:36:15,005 Tyrone, I got the escape plans right here. Just you and me. 489 00:36:15,090 --> 00:36:18,175 - Burnett wants in. - Burnett's one of the guards! 490 00:36:18,260 --> 00:36:20,636 I know, but he's unhappy here. 491 00:36:20,720 --> 00:36:22,763 All right, all right. Whatever. 492 00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:25,224 Got it all worked out right here. 493 00:36:28,770 --> 00:36:32,648 What's this? Another letter from your mommy? 494 00:36:32,732 --> 00:36:35,442 - That's private! - Let's see what we have. 495 00:36:35,527 --> 00:36:39,280 - Give the man back his letter. - Buzz off, butter cheeks. 496 00:36:40,782 --> 00:36:43,868 What's so special about a little letter? 497 00:36:43,952 --> 00:36:46,954 Wait a minute. An escape plan! 498 00:36:47,289 --> 00:36:50,624 This is your ticket to another 20 years, Dillon. 499 00:36:50,709 --> 00:36:53,043 If the warden gets one look at this... 500 00:36:53,128 --> 00:36:56,714 Hey! You call this slop? 501 00:36:56,798 --> 00:36:59,216 Real slop has got chunks in it! 502 00:36:59,301 --> 00:37:01,719 This is more like gruel! 503 00:37:01,803 --> 00:37:05,139 And this Chateau le Blanc '68 504 00:37:05,223 --> 00:37:07,892 is supposed to be served slightly chilled! 505 00:37:07,976 --> 00:37:13,063 This is room temperature! What do you think we are, animals? 506 00:37:13,148 --> 00:37:14,899 ALL: No! 507 00:37:14,983 --> 00:37:17,401 What are we? 508 00:37:17,485 --> 00:37:19,320 Homo sapiens? 509 00:37:20,488 --> 00:37:24,992 You're right! We are men! We are men! 510 00:37:25,285 --> 00:37:27,161 ALL: We are men! 511 00:37:27,287 --> 00:37:32,416 We are men! 512 00:38:03,782 --> 00:38:06,992 Left hand blue. Whose hand is that? 513 00:38:16,544 --> 00:38:20,172 Come on, son. You can do it. Eat some beans! 514 00:38:41,861 --> 00:38:46,156 You saved my bacon, McGirk. I'd be in solitary if you hadn't done that. 515 00:38:46,241 --> 00:38:49,451 I've been watching you. You handle yourself good. 516 00:38:49,536 --> 00:38:51,578 - "Really well". - Whatever. 517 00:38:51,663 --> 00:38:55,833 I got something big on the outside. I could use you in my gang. 518 00:38:55,917 --> 00:38:57,918 - Dental plan? - Full coverage. 519 00:38:58,003 --> 00:39:00,170 - What's the caper? - First we bust out. 520 00:39:00,255 --> 00:39:04,174 Thanks to you, we still have our escape plan. Let's have it. 521 00:39:04,259 --> 00:39:06,760 - It's a good plan. - I've had better. 522 00:39:06,845 --> 00:39:10,014 Listen, I've got a fool-proof plan. 523 00:39:11,349 --> 00:39:12,933 They got Tyrone. 524 00:39:14,352 --> 00:39:17,438 Can't... Can't we all just get along? 525 00:39:23,111 --> 00:39:26,447 Now that Tyrone was in solitary, it was just me and Rocco. 526 00:39:26,531 --> 00:39:28,532 He had to trust me. 527 00:39:28,616 --> 00:39:30,534 'Shh! Hold on. 528 00:39:30,618 --> 00:39:32,286 Okay. 529 00:39:32,370 --> 00:39:34,788 I convinced Rocco to dig a tunnel. 530 00:39:34,873 --> 00:39:36,915 It was that or go out in a laundry truck. 531 00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:40,335 The thought of lying nose down in skid marks 532 00:39:40,420 --> 00:39:42,671 didn't leave a good taste in my mouth. 533 00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:49,762 Disposing of the dirt was a problem I solved 534 00:39:49,846 --> 00:39:51,513 early in the construction. 535 00:39:51,598 --> 00:39:55,225 Apart from some chafing, we made good progress. 536 00:39:55,351 --> 00:39:56,518 We kept digging. 537 00:39:56,603 --> 00:39:59,855 Dummies gave the impression we were still in our cell. 538 00:40:00,940 --> 00:40:02,066 GUARD: Lights out. 539 00:40:02,442 --> 00:40:06,862 There was more dirt than I thought. Disposing of it was becoming tricky. 540 00:40:29,511 --> 00:40:31,220 Safe! 541 00:40:32,388 --> 00:40:34,181 Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall 542 00:40:35,767 --> 00:40:38,185 If one of those bottles should happen to fall 543 00:40:38,353 --> 00:40:40,270 Ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall 544 00:40:40,438 --> 00:40:43,857 Ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall... 545 00:40:44,359 --> 00:40:45,818 Where are you going? 546 00:40:45,902 --> 00:40:50,280 - Are you thinking of Frank again? - They're playing our song. 547 00:40:50,365 --> 00:40:53,117 I understand. Take your time. 548 00:41:09,884 --> 00:41:11,802 - Hello there. - Excuse me. 549 00:41:11,886 --> 00:41:15,639 I'm hauling a load of rice cakes to Big D. Coming with me? 550 00:41:15,723 --> 00:41:16,807 No. 551 00:41:16,891 --> 00:41:18,600 - How about a kiss? - No. 552 00:41:18,685 --> 00:41:21,645 When a woman says no, she means yes. 553 00:41:21,729 --> 00:41:24,314 - How about that kiss? - Yes. 554 00:41:24,399 --> 00:41:29,069 No? I know your type. Come on, baby. We're two of a kind. 555 00:41:42,834 --> 00:41:45,127 Oh, my God! You killed him! 556 00:41:45,211 --> 00:41:47,087 It was an accident. Call the police. 557 00:41:47,172 --> 00:41:51,842 Come to your senses. You killed a man. You're a hero to every woman. 558 00:41:51,926 --> 00:41:54,970 We have to call Frank. He'll protect us. 559 00:41:55,054 --> 00:41:58,098 Frank is a man. He'll see you locked away forever. 560 00:42:00,602 --> 00:42:04,229 Jane, I want to join you, to help you kill as many men as possible. 561 00:42:04,772 --> 00:42:05,772 Yipes! 562 00:42:07,233 --> 00:42:10,027 Louise, do what you have to do. I'm calling Frank. 563 00:42:13,865 --> 00:42:15,365 TRUCKER: Oh, boy, did that hurt. 564 00:42:15,450 --> 00:42:19,286 Be home, Frank. Answer the phone. 565 00:42:19,495 --> 00:42:20,787 Frank! 566 00:42:21,039 --> 00:42:22,706 ANSWERPHONE: Hi, this is Frank. And Jane. 567 00:42:22,790 --> 00:42:27,836 BOTH: We're the Drebins. We're not home right now so leave a message! 568 00:42:29,214 --> 00:42:31,506 FRANK: Which button is it? JANE: Not that one! 569 00:42:43,144 --> 00:42:46,730 "Tanya"? It was another woman. Frank wasn't lying. 570 00:42:47,106 --> 00:42:50,817 "Honeymoon Bay Road." I bet they're alone there now! 571 00:42:51,194 --> 00:42:52,236 Frank! 572 00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:54,029 Cell inspection. 573 00:42:56,241 --> 00:42:59,076 There's been a rumour of a possible breakout. 574 00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:03,330 If we suspect anyone of attempting to escape, 575 00:43:03,414 --> 00:43:06,667 they will be punished severely. 576 00:43:07,794 --> 00:43:11,505 Once word of the escape was out, we headed for the tunnel. 577 00:43:11,589 --> 00:43:13,966 The last few feet were dug on the run. 578 00:43:14,050 --> 00:43:18,387 Another 47 yards would take us beyond the prison walls. 579 00:43:18,471 --> 00:43:22,933 May he rest in peace, in the arms of our... Jesus Christ! 580 00:43:23,017 --> 00:43:24,726 ALL: Amen. 581 00:43:24,811 --> 00:43:28,021 FRANK: Rocco had arranged for a car to meet us. 582 00:43:30,191 --> 00:43:32,776 After making a slight adjustment 583 00:43:32,860 --> 00:43:37,030 we arrived at the rendezvous point, a Los Angeles city high school. 584 00:43:51,254 --> 00:43:53,297 Hey, that was close. 585 00:43:53,381 --> 00:43:57,134 Hey, Rocco, who's the old hag? She take one in the face? 586 00:43:57,969 --> 00:43:59,928 She's my mother. 587 00:44:00,013 --> 00:44:04,099 Mrs Dillon. Your son is a ruthless, sadistic, cold-blooded animal. 588 00:44:04,183 --> 00:44:07,436 - You must be proud of him. - I am. 589 00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:11,315 I want you to meet a real square egg, Nick "The Slasher" McGirk. 590 00:44:11,399 --> 00:44:13,650 There's fresh clothes in the back. 591 00:44:13,735 --> 00:44:19,656 Rocco's mom was quiet. I felt she didn't care for me coming along. 592 00:44:19,741 --> 00:44:24,745 Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes. 593 00:44:36,466 --> 00:44:37,924 Hey! Stop! 594 00:44:42,513 --> 00:44:43,805 Oh, Frank. 595 00:44:59,906 --> 00:45:04,159 It wasn't my fault. That cow shouldn't have been in the road. 596 00:45:04,243 --> 00:45:06,203 Hurry up. You're letting the flies in. 597 00:45:06,287 --> 00:45:08,914 - What do you think? - Great setup. 598 00:45:08,998 --> 00:45:13,543 No phone, miles from the nearest town, Playboy channel. Perfect. 599 00:45:13,628 --> 00:45:16,129 Nice digs. But I'm here for the action. 600 00:45:16,214 --> 00:45:19,216 What is it? Bank, armoured car, payroll? 601 00:45:19,300 --> 00:45:22,677 You're getting a little bit too nosy, McGirk. 602 00:45:22,762 --> 00:45:24,554 Relax, Ma. 603 00:45:24,639 --> 00:45:27,933 - She's itching to use her new gun. - I know the feeling. 604 00:45:49,163 --> 00:45:53,417 It was Tanya. That bathing suit was never happier. 605 00:45:53,501 --> 00:45:57,337 I had only a second to admire the view. I had to watch out. 606 00:45:57,422 --> 00:46:00,882 If she made me as a cop, I'd be tonight's meat loaf. 607 00:46:00,967 --> 00:46:02,759 Come here, sexy. 608 00:46:02,844 --> 00:46:05,595 You're all woman. I could tell by looking at you. 609 00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:08,223 Hey, she's referring to me. 610 00:46:09,142 --> 00:46:11,643 I was talking about your mother. 611 00:46:13,729 --> 00:46:16,940 MOTHER: That's no way to be walking around. Get some clothes on. 612 00:46:17,024 --> 00:46:19,109 And what are you doing in my bathing suit? 613 00:46:20,820 --> 00:46:22,863 Hey, who's the stud? 614 00:46:22,947 --> 00:46:25,657 Meet the newest member of our gang. 615 00:46:26,701 --> 00:46:29,536 Slasher McGirk, meet Tanya Peters. 616 00:46:29,620 --> 00:46:32,581 Wait a minute. Don't I know you from somewhere? 617 00:46:32,790 --> 00:46:35,959 I smelled cop on him the minute I saw him. 618 00:46:36,043 --> 00:46:39,004 I get it all the time. It's the underwear ads. 619 00:46:39,714 --> 00:46:44,384 - Are you saying you're not a cop? - Well, yeah. 620 00:46:45,052 --> 00:46:47,637 - That's good enough for me. - Me, too. 621 00:46:47,722 --> 00:46:50,432 All right. I'm glad that's all cleared up. 622 00:46:50,516 --> 00:46:52,934 Ma, why not kiss and make up? 623 00:46:54,187 --> 00:46:56,229 Well, all right. 624 00:47:06,657 --> 00:47:08,742 Now that's more like it. 625 00:47:24,926 --> 00:47:26,468 Uh! Ow. 626 00:47:30,223 --> 00:47:32,349 FRANK: I had to get a message to Police Squad. 627 00:47:32,433 --> 00:47:35,477 This was more than I could handle. 628 00:47:35,561 --> 00:47:37,812 No phone, miles from civilisation, 629 00:47:37,897 --> 00:47:40,732 my prospects look bleaker than a gerbil's in a bathhouse. 630 00:47:40,816 --> 00:47:44,986 Who's down there? Slasher. 631 00:47:45,780 --> 00:47:47,197 Have you seen my pigeon? 632 00:47:48,616 --> 00:47:53,119 - Pigeon? What pigeon? - What are you doing? 633 00:47:53,204 --> 00:47:57,499 I'm just contemplating my next move. 634 00:47:57,583 --> 00:47:59,960 Your bishop is exposed. 635 00:48:00,044 --> 00:48:03,880 It's these pants. I usually wear a fuller cut. 636 00:48:03,965 --> 00:48:07,050 You're all man. I like that in my men. 637 00:48:07,134 --> 00:48:10,053 You're coming on to me big-time, sister, 638 00:48:10,137 --> 00:48:12,138 but we got a problem. 639 00:48:12,223 --> 00:48:16,309 - You're Jewish? - No. You're Rocco's girl. 640 00:48:16,394 --> 00:48:20,605 In my book, that chapter's called "Look, But Don't Touch". 641 00:48:22,608 --> 00:48:24,651 I could have two lovers. 642 00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:29,990 Kinky. But I like my sex the way I play basketball, 643 00:48:30,074 --> 00:48:32,659 one-on-one, with as little dribbling as possible. 644 00:48:40,626 --> 00:48:43,753 Oh, you're tense, Slasher. 645 00:48:44,797 --> 00:48:48,216 Well, I could relax more if I knew about tomorrow. 646 00:48:48,301 --> 00:48:51,595 You wouldn't know anything about that, would you? 647 00:48:51,679 --> 00:48:56,266 All I know is it's downtown and big. 648 00:48:56,350 --> 00:48:58,643 That's the way I like it. 649 00:48:59,937 --> 00:49:03,064 - What else? - Just this. 650 00:49:06,944 --> 00:49:08,069 What are you doing? 651 00:49:09,113 --> 00:49:12,782 Thank you for the advice. I'll try that recipe, Miss Peters. 652 00:49:12,867 --> 00:49:14,242 How could you? 653 00:49:14,327 --> 00:49:16,786 Just shove your tongue in as far as you can. 654 00:49:16,954 --> 00:49:17,954 Oh! 655 00:49:19,874 --> 00:49:21,958 Quiet. You don't know me here. 656 00:49:22,043 --> 00:49:24,127 That's a goodbye kiss, sister. 657 00:49:24,211 --> 00:49:26,379 What's all this? Who's the skirt? 658 00:49:26,464 --> 00:49:31,259 Just some dizzy dame. Probably broke down. I'll take her to the bus depot. 659 00:49:31,344 --> 00:49:35,472 Hey, she's married. What if her husband comes looking? 660 00:49:35,556 --> 00:49:38,099 - He must be a great guy. - He breaks promises. 661 00:49:38,184 --> 00:49:41,394 Look at you, traipsing all over, just to spite him. 662 00:49:41,479 --> 00:49:43,480 - He left me. - You left him. 663 00:49:43,564 --> 00:49:45,899 - You should talk. - Listen to you. 664 00:49:46,067 --> 00:49:47,609 - Listen to you. - Listen to you. 665 00:49:47,693 --> 00:49:49,402 - Listen to you! - Listen to you! 666 00:49:49,904 --> 00:49:52,072 Jeez, you two, knock it off! 667 00:49:52,156 --> 00:49:55,116 - You'd think you're married! - What'll we do with her? 668 00:49:55,201 --> 00:49:58,787 One thing's for sure. There's no room for her here. 669 00:49:58,871 --> 00:50:02,332 - I say we bump her off. - Let's plug her here. 670 00:50:02,416 --> 00:50:06,294 I've been on a job where I'd have given my eye teeth for a hostage. 671 00:50:06,379 --> 00:50:09,005 We know women make the best hostages. 672 00:50:09,090 --> 00:50:12,175 They're small, easy to move, eat less, smell nice. 673 00:50:12,259 --> 00:50:15,762 Yeah, we got us an insurance policy. 674 00:50:15,846 --> 00:50:19,349 Good thinking, kid. Now, let's get some shuteye. 675 00:50:19,433 --> 00:50:20,892 We got a big day ahead of us. 676 00:50:28,067 --> 00:50:29,567 All right, it's rigged. 677 00:50:29,652 --> 00:50:33,196 Watch the tower, Slasher. This is what'll happen tonight. 678 00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:35,240 Hey, aren't we far away? 679 00:50:35,950 --> 00:50:36,950 Oh! 680 00:50:37,952 --> 00:50:39,536 ROCCO: All right, pay attention. 681 00:50:39,620 --> 00:50:43,665 On that tower's a device that's gonna net us 5 million bucks. 682 00:50:43,749 --> 00:50:46,835 We're gonna detonate it this evening 683 00:50:46,919 --> 00:50:49,379 at an event that the whole world will be watching. 684 00:50:49,463 --> 00:50:53,800 - Your crowning achievement. - It's for both of us, Ma. All set! 685 00:50:53,884 --> 00:50:55,385 Set! 686 00:51:17,992 --> 00:51:19,659 Very impressive. 687 00:51:19,785 --> 00:51:24,748 Heh-heh-heh-heh. Cool. 688 00:51:30,671 --> 00:51:34,215 America will be brought to its knees by this terrorist act. 689 00:51:34,300 --> 00:51:38,428 This will be more embarrassing to the US than Tonya Harding. 690 00:51:38,512 --> 00:51:42,599 We're almost there. I don't wanna miss this. Regards to Mrs Qaddafi. 691 00:51:42,683 --> 00:51:44,601 Tell her thanks for the cookies. 692 00:51:47,438 --> 00:51:49,522 PA: It's a beautiful night in Los Angeles, 693 00:51:49,607 --> 00:51:54,319 and the stars are shining bright for the 66th Academy Awards. 694 00:51:54,445 --> 00:51:58,782 Fans are clamouring to see their favourite celebrities. 695 00:51:58,866 --> 00:52:01,743 It's Weird Al Yankovic and Vanna White. 696 00:52:13,714 --> 00:52:18,218 Put the dame in the trunk. I'll meet you and Ma round back in 10 minutes. 697 00:52:19,303 --> 00:52:20,553 Got the passes? 698 00:52:21,847 --> 00:52:23,807 If we pull this off, it's 5 million big ones. 699 00:52:23,891 --> 00:52:25,391 Not bad! 700 00:52:25,476 --> 00:52:28,436 - What's going to happen to me? - I have an idea. 701 00:52:28,521 --> 00:52:31,397 Right, Slasher. You know what to do. 702 00:52:31,524 --> 00:52:33,608 Check the tyres and fluid levels. 703 00:52:33,692 --> 00:52:38,530 No, you muffin head, the dame. We hit trouble, she's a bullet shield. 704 00:52:42,576 --> 00:52:47,080 PA: Ladies and gentlemen, to present the lifetime achievement award... 705 00:52:47,164 --> 00:52:50,667 Roll tape. Go to clip. Aspirin, please. 706 00:52:50,751 --> 00:52:52,877 Go to three. Ready, four. 707 00:52:54,713 --> 00:52:57,423 This year's lifetime achievement award winner's credits 708 00:52:57,508 --> 00:53:00,677 include some of the greatest moments on celluloid. 709 00:53:00,761 --> 00:53:04,848 Films such as Sandals And Loincloth, 1958, 710 00:53:04,932 --> 00:53:07,684 Sweaty Boatmen, 1959, 711 00:53:07,768 --> 00:53:10,144 The Leather-clad Centurion, 1960, 712 00:53:10,229 --> 00:53:13,690 and his first colour feature in 1966, 713 00:53:13,774 --> 00:53:16,025 Big Shiny Spears. 714 00:53:21,949 --> 00:53:25,034 Okay, there's the man from Bryce Porterhouse. 715 00:53:25,119 --> 00:53:30,290 He guards the envelopes until they're handed out. He won't budge. 716 00:53:30,374 --> 00:53:33,877 You know what to do. Distract him so I can plant the bomb. 717 00:53:33,961 --> 00:53:38,256 PA: Accepting the award for Mr Broncowitz is Margaret Redfeather. 718 00:53:55,941 --> 00:53:57,275 That ought to do it. 719 00:53:58,152 --> 00:53:59,736 You'll never get away with this. 720 00:53:59,820 --> 00:54:02,155 Rocco will kill you, whoever you are. 721 00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:04,198 Frank Drebin, Police Squad. 722 00:54:04,283 --> 00:54:07,410 - Isn't that a unusual? - It's happened before. 723 00:54:07,494 --> 00:54:09,746 - Here's the plan. - You'll never stop Rocco. 724 00:54:09,830 --> 00:54:13,374 - Your chances are one in a million. - Better than any state lottery. 725 00:54:13,459 --> 00:54:16,669 I'm the good guy. I can't let the bad guys win. 726 00:54:16,754 --> 00:54:18,379 Our children can't be raised in fear. 727 00:54:18,464 --> 00:54:21,758 They're going to blow that place sky high. 728 00:54:21,842 --> 00:54:24,844 It'll be a tragedy. Unless it's during a dance number. 729 00:54:24,929 --> 00:54:26,512 Come on. 730 00:54:43,572 --> 00:54:44,781 Does that radio work? 731 00:54:51,080 --> 00:54:53,539 Call Police Squad. Tell them Frank Drebin... 732 00:55:00,589 --> 00:55:01,714 Forget it. 733 00:55:03,509 --> 00:55:06,302 I wonder what the devil he wanted? 734 00:55:11,558 --> 00:55:14,769 - Hold on. - Frank Drebin, Police Squad. 735 00:55:14,853 --> 00:55:18,648 - Yeah, and I'm Robert de Niro. - Mr de Niro, we must get inside. 736 00:55:18,732 --> 00:55:21,734 You and 10,000 other people. Move along. 737 00:55:21,819 --> 00:55:24,445 - Movie stars only. - Come on. 738 00:55:25,072 --> 00:55:26,572 I've got a better idea. 739 00:55:26,824 --> 00:55:28,449 Cue talent. 740 00:55:28,534 --> 00:55:31,411 PA: To present the award for best supporting actress, 741 00:55:31,495 --> 00:55:34,998 Mariel Hemingway and Elliott Gould. 742 00:55:44,258 --> 00:55:46,092 Thank you. 743 00:55:46,176 --> 00:55:49,262 The nominees for best supporting actress are, 744 00:55:49,346 --> 00:55:51,681 Mary Lou Retton, Fatal Affair. 745 00:55:51,765 --> 00:55:55,184 One woman's ordeal to overcome the death of her cat, 746 00:55:55,269 --> 00:55:58,104 set against the background of the Hindenburg disaster. 747 00:56:04,069 --> 00:56:06,696 Morgan Fairchild, Final Proposal. 748 00:56:06,780 --> 00:56:11,034 One courageous pioneer woman's triumphant victory over bulimia, 749 00:56:11,118 --> 00:56:13,619 set during the Donner Party crossing. 750 00:56:32,014 --> 00:56:34,599 Sorry about this, but it's official police business. 751 00:56:37,770 --> 00:56:40,063 Shannen Doherty, Basic Analysis. 752 00:56:40,147 --> 00:56:42,648 One woman's triumph over a yeast infection, 753 00:56:42,733 --> 00:56:46,944 set against the background of the tragic Buffalo Bills' season of 1991. 754 00:56:57,331 --> 00:56:59,248 Thank you, Sheriff. 755 00:56:59,333 --> 00:57:02,001 Still no word of Frank or Rocco's gang. 756 00:57:02,086 --> 00:57:04,837 I'm worried. He should have called by now. 757 00:57:16,975 --> 00:57:19,018 Let me just check your tickets. 758 00:57:19,103 --> 00:57:21,938 - Lovely gown. Is that Cool Whip? - Uh-huh. 759 00:57:22,022 --> 00:57:25,566 Tim and Erica Brown. Okay, enjoy the show. 760 00:57:25,651 --> 00:57:28,444 Let's see, Vanna White and Weird Al Yankovic. 761 00:57:28,529 --> 00:57:31,823 Okay, enjoy the awards. 762 00:57:32,533 --> 00:57:34,033 And three. 763 00:57:34,118 --> 00:57:37,120 And Florence Henderson, Analysis Of A Proposal. 764 00:57:38,205 --> 00:57:41,541 - Rocco could be anywhere. - Where could the bomb be? 765 00:57:41,625 --> 00:57:44,877 - The winner is... - This is going to be dynamite. 766 00:57:44,962 --> 00:57:48,131 - Jane! - Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 767 00:57:48,215 --> 00:57:50,800 FRANK: Florence Henderson is going to win! 768 00:57:50,884 --> 00:57:54,762 - No! The bomb's in the envelope. - You're right! 769 00:57:54,847 --> 00:57:57,181 And the winner is... 770 00:57:57,266 --> 00:57:58,307 Argh! 771 00:57:58,392 --> 00:58:00,768 Mary Lou Retton for Fatal Affair. 772 00:58:00,853 --> 00:58:03,563 Yes! Yes! 773 00:58:04,231 --> 00:58:06,816 Sorry. We were rooting for Florence Henderson. 774 00:58:06,900 --> 00:58:10,236 We must get those envelopes before they open any more. 775 00:58:13,907 --> 00:58:15,366 Yes! 776 00:58:19,329 --> 00:58:20,830 I never realised there'd be so many. 777 00:58:20,914 --> 00:58:23,166 They added 75 new categories. 778 00:58:23,250 --> 00:58:25,751 "Best actor in a Columbus movie"? 779 00:58:25,836 --> 00:58:29,172 PA: To present the award for best director, 780 00:58:29,256 --> 00:58:34,135 Raquel Welch and the host of his own talk show, Phil Donahue. 781 00:58:34,219 --> 00:58:37,930 That might be the envelope with the bomb. Keep looking. 782 00:58:38,015 --> 00:58:40,099 One more second, Mr Donahue. 783 00:58:56,241 --> 00:58:58,951 Oh, my God! Look at Donahue! 784 00:59:06,418 --> 00:59:08,502 DIRECTOR: Stop the stairs, Joey! 785 00:59:10,714 --> 00:59:12,131 Thank you. 786 00:59:12,216 --> 00:59:15,635 Ladies and gentlemen, it's my pleasure to present... 787 00:59:21,475 --> 00:59:22,934 What the hell? 788 00:59:25,646 --> 00:59:28,022 - RAQUEL: Jesus! - Go to commercial. 789 00:59:28,106 --> 00:59:32,068 Easy, now. Talk to me. What happened, Ma? 790 00:59:32,152 --> 00:59:35,488 Slasher is Frank Drebin of Police Squad. 791 00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:38,157 That lousy, two-bit, copper punk! 792 00:59:38,242 --> 00:59:41,911 I treat him like my brother, the one I didn't kill. 793 00:59:41,995 --> 00:59:44,664 - He might find the bomb. - Not if I find him first. 794 00:59:46,291 --> 00:59:48,417 PA: Back from commercial in five seconds. 795 00:59:48,502 --> 00:59:51,170 Hurry with the mike and cue Donahue. 796 00:59:54,341 --> 00:59:56,467 Read the card, moron. 797 00:59:59,304 --> 01:00:04,100 "Well, Raquel, this certainly is a special evening. Phew!" 798 01:00:04,184 --> 01:00:07,895 "I can barely catch my breath. Turn it over to Raquel." 799 01:00:07,980 --> 01:00:10,564 "I'm used to being out of breath..." 800 01:00:10,649 --> 01:00:12,108 What the hell? 801 01:00:12,192 --> 01:00:15,278 "Hold for laughter and applause. To Phil." 802 01:00:15,362 --> 01:00:18,781 "Gets me out of breath just watching. To Raquel..." 803 01:00:18,865 --> 01:00:20,449 I read that. 804 01:00:20,534 --> 01:00:24,704 "But let's get to the subject at hand. Pick up the envelope." 805 01:00:24,788 --> 01:00:27,623 The nominees for best director are... 806 01:00:27,708 --> 01:00:30,626 Sir Richard Attenborough for his musical 807 01:00:30,711 --> 01:00:34,255 on the life of Mother Teresa, Mother. 808 01:00:34,464 --> 01:00:35,548 Food! I love food 809 01:00:35,716 --> 01:00:36,966 And I'm really in the mood 810 01:00:37,050 --> 01:00:38,843 For a big corn dog or pupu platter 811 01:00:38,927 --> 01:00:41,595 Two ding-dongs, have some tuna helper 812 01:00:41,722 --> 01:00:43,264 I'll be racing back for more 813 01:00:43,515 --> 01:00:46,559 But don't add any salsa cos I'll blow chunks on the floor 814 01:00:46,893 --> 01:00:47,393 Ooh 815 01:00:52,691 --> 01:00:54,025 Yahoo 816 01:00:55,861 --> 01:00:59,238 Spike Lee, X II, The Merchandising. 817 01:00:59,489 --> 01:01:03,993 Nordberg, look! That's Frank at the Academy Awards. 818 01:01:04,077 --> 01:01:06,245 - How'd he get tickets? - Nordberg! 819 01:01:06,538 --> 01:01:09,749 That's where Rocco is going to strike next. 820 01:01:09,833 --> 01:01:12,126 He's planning to blow up the Academy Awards. 821 01:01:12,210 --> 01:01:15,755 - We've got to go. - We're not invited. We're cops. 822 01:01:17,758 --> 01:01:19,216 It's for you. 823 01:01:19,885 --> 01:01:24,180 Nordberg, Police Squad. Hello? Hello? 824 01:01:25,807 --> 01:01:28,517 Henderson, see about this phone. I think it's broke. 825 01:01:31,063 --> 01:01:34,023 RADIO: And now, today's lucky lotto numbers. 826 01:01:34,107 --> 01:01:39,236 Get your tickets ready, 12, 22, 18, and 9. 827 01:01:40,781 --> 01:01:45,284 And for his tale of genetics gone haywire in a retirement community, 828 01:01:45,369 --> 01:01:48,913 Steven Spielberg, Geriatric Park. 829 01:02:09,893 --> 01:02:12,061 The winner is... 830 01:02:13,730 --> 01:02:16,899 Raquel, just a second. I just had a thought. 831 01:02:16,983 --> 01:02:18,401 Christ! 832 01:02:18,485 --> 01:02:21,654 This show is being seen all over the world. 833 01:02:21,738 --> 01:02:23,572 If we could send good thoughts, 834 01:02:23,657 --> 01:02:27,243 transmit them through these cameras, to the leader of China. 835 01:02:27,327 --> 01:02:29,995 Wing Wa Woo Tong, 836 01:02:30,080 --> 01:02:33,582 so that they might finally be nice. 837 01:02:33,667 --> 01:02:35,793 Thank you. 838 01:02:37,295 --> 01:02:39,672 And the winner is... 839 01:02:39,756 --> 01:02:43,843 Raquel, so many go to bed hungry in this nation. 840 01:02:43,927 --> 01:02:45,719 Yet, cat food's full of tuna. 841 01:02:45,804 --> 01:02:48,264 I can't help thinking each time I go to the zoo 842 01:02:48,348 --> 01:02:51,559 and see those porpoises crammed into tiny tanks, 843 01:02:51,643 --> 01:02:53,686 what a waste that is. 844 01:02:53,770 --> 01:02:55,771 Butcher half of them now. 845 01:02:55,856 --> 01:02:59,525 Hundreds of pounds of dolphin meat that could be fed to cats, 846 01:02:59,609 --> 01:03:03,446 freeing up that tuna for our nation's hungry. 847 01:03:09,202 --> 01:03:13,038 - And the winner is... - So many are cold, 848 01:03:13,123 --> 01:03:15,458 shivering in the night. 849 01:03:15,542 --> 01:03:17,877 I say take those cats and skin them. 850 01:03:17,961 --> 01:03:21,797 Use their fur to keep hundreds warm. 851 01:03:21,882 --> 01:03:23,966 Jesus, Phil! 852 01:03:24,050 --> 01:03:26,135 And the winner is... 853 01:03:35,937 --> 01:03:37,229 Give me that! 854 01:03:38,315 --> 01:03:39,315 Ohh! 855 01:03:45,238 --> 01:03:47,490 - Not one move. - That barrel's cold. 856 01:03:47,574 --> 01:03:49,325 It's room temperature. 857 01:03:51,077 --> 01:03:54,038 It's okay. It's not the bomb. 858 01:04:02,631 --> 01:04:05,132 Jane? 859 01:04:09,095 --> 01:04:10,095 Jane? 860 01:04:13,266 --> 01:04:15,309 - Silver hair. - About 6'2". 861 01:04:15,393 --> 01:04:17,353 Looked like Phil Donahue. 862 01:04:18,188 --> 01:04:20,189 - That's the guy! - Get him! 863 01:04:23,026 --> 01:04:24,944 PA: Ladies and gentlemen, 864 01:04:25,028 --> 01:04:28,572 please welcome internationally renowned singing star, Pia Zadora. 865 01:04:29,282 --> 01:04:31,492 You're walkin' along the street 866 01:04:31,576 --> 01:04:32,868 Or you're at a party... 867 01:04:32,953 --> 01:04:35,454 There he is! Stop him. 868 01:04:36,540 --> 01:04:39,708 Excuse me. Isn't that snot on your shoe? 869 01:04:41,211 --> 01:04:43,921 MAN: I'll stay here. You check the wings. 870 01:04:44,047 --> 01:04:46,966 ...that this could be the start of somethin' big... 871 01:04:48,802 --> 01:04:52,304 Oh, no! Not him again? Please, God. 872 01:04:52,847 --> 01:04:56,308 Who knows what's written in that magic book? 873 01:04:57,727 --> 01:05:00,020 But when a lover you discover 874 01:05:00,230 --> 01:05:01,814 At the gate, my friend 875 01:05:02,315 --> 01:05:06,277 Invite him in without a second look 876 01:05:06,528 --> 01:05:08,571 You're watchin' the sun come up 877 01:05:09,322 --> 01:05:10,322 Or countin' your... 878 01:05:51,114 --> 01:05:52,823 Grab him! 879 01:06:03,043 --> 01:06:06,128 I'm Ed Hocken. This is Officer Nordberg. 880 01:06:06,212 --> 01:06:09,632 - We're here to prevent a disaster. - You're too late. 881 01:06:13,803 --> 01:06:15,804 You're watchin' the sun... 882 01:06:16,389 --> 01:06:17,389 Frank! 883 01:06:17,474 --> 01:06:20,225 Or countin' your money 884 01:06:20,852 --> 01:06:24,438 Or else in a dim cafe 885 01:06:24,731 --> 01:06:27,900 You're orderin' wine 886 01:06:28,193 --> 01:06:30,736 Then suddenly there he is 887 01:06:30,862 --> 01:06:32,988 You want to be where he is... 888 01:06:33,073 --> 01:06:35,699 Come on, Nordberg. We've got to get Frank. 889 01:06:35,909 --> 01:06:37,201 ...the start of somethin' 890 01:06:37,410 --> 01:06:39,828 This could be the heart of somethin' 891 01:06:39,913 --> 01:06:42,247 This could be the start of somethin' 892 01:06:42,957 --> 01:06:43,457 Big 893 01:06:57,514 --> 01:06:58,514 Ohh! 894 01:07:06,898 --> 01:07:07,398 Jane! 895 01:07:16,950 --> 01:07:20,828 I knew I'd bump into you. I want answers, cherry cakes. 896 01:07:20,912 --> 01:07:22,663 - I love you. - Wrong answer. 897 01:07:22,747 --> 01:07:25,332 I dropped out of the sap of the month club. 898 01:07:25,417 --> 01:07:28,210 Listen, you've got one last chance. 899 01:07:28,294 --> 01:07:32,381 And I don't mean a major league baseball Steve Howe last chance. 900 01:07:32,465 --> 01:07:35,300 - Where is Jane? - I don't know. 901 01:07:35,385 --> 01:07:38,387 - Where's the bomb? - In the Best Picture envelope. 902 01:07:38,471 --> 01:07:41,515 Mr Drebin, I want to go straight. 903 01:07:41,599 --> 01:07:44,226 I'm tired of the lies. 904 01:07:44,310 --> 01:07:48,188 Kiss me. Please kiss me. 905 01:07:48,273 --> 01:07:52,151 I've never kissed lips so innocent, so pure. 906 01:08:13,006 --> 01:08:15,507 He looked like Phil Donahue, white hair... 907 01:08:16,259 --> 01:08:18,677 - That's the guy! - I'll get him. 908 01:08:19,512 --> 01:08:22,139 PA: Ladies and gentlemen, to present the Best Picture award, 909 01:08:22,223 --> 01:08:24,516 two most distinguished actors, 910 01:08:24,601 --> 01:08:27,686 Olympia Dukakis and James Earl Jones. 911 01:08:35,737 --> 01:08:37,362 Lord, what's that? 912 01:08:37,447 --> 01:08:40,449 Looks like Phil Donahue throwing up in a tuba. 913 01:08:40,533 --> 01:08:44,578 I don't think we should have Phil Donahue back next year. 914 01:08:44,662 --> 01:08:46,914 Thank you. Good evening. 915 01:08:46,998 --> 01:08:51,210 It's a privilege for us to present the final award... 916 01:08:51,294 --> 01:08:55,464 We've been worried about you. Where's Rocco? Where's Tanya? 917 01:08:55,548 --> 01:08:58,801 - Sit down. Take it easy. - Thank God you're all right. 918 01:08:58,885 --> 01:09:03,472 Indecent Instincts and Sawdust And Mildew. 919 01:09:03,556 --> 01:09:07,976 Every one of these movies was a box office hit, except for one. 920 01:09:08,061 --> 01:09:10,145 - What's that? - The Best Picture award. 921 01:09:10,230 --> 01:09:12,314 My money's on Sawdust And Mildew. 922 01:09:12,398 --> 01:09:14,483 Olympia, would you do the honours? 923 01:09:14,567 --> 01:09:17,402 Oh, my God! That's the one! 924 01:09:17,487 --> 01:09:21,281 The award for this year's Best Picture goes to... 925 01:09:21,366 --> 01:09:22,533 Wait! 926 01:09:22,742 --> 01:09:23,742 Oh! 927 01:09:23,827 --> 01:09:26,995 Sorry about this. Loved you in Coneheads. You, too. 928 01:09:27,080 --> 01:09:29,081 Let me open this. 929 01:09:32,669 --> 01:09:34,086 It's the bomb! 930 01:09:45,223 --> 01:09:47,266 Freeze and nobody gets hurt! 931 01:09:49,602 --> 01:09:51,937 Well, from now on. 932 01:09:52,021 --> 01:09:55,023 Back in your seats, you little weasels! 933 01:09:55,108 --> 01:09:56,859 This programme's been interrupted. 934 01:09:56,943 --> 01:09:58,861 Don't panic. Stay with it. 935 01:09:58,945 --> 01:10:00,946 Camera 2, move in on the old lady. 936 01:10:01,030 --> 01:10:02,865 Better move back. 937 01:10:02,949 --> 01:10:06,535 - Don't move! - MA: Now, pay attention! 938 01:10:06,619 --> 01:10:09,705 I don't want to kill nobody unless I have to. 939 01:10:09,789 --> 01:10:12,749 Drop your guns and kick them over here. 940 01:10:17,046 --> 01:10:20,883 That bomb belongs to me. Hand it over, Drebin. 941 01:10:20,967 --> 01:10:22,885 You want to kill him, Ma? 942 01:10:24,304 --> 01:10:26,096 Blink and I start shooting. 943 01:10:32,937 --> 01:10:34,980 FRANK: Give me that gun! 944 01:10:35,899 --> 01:10:39,610 - Oh, my God! - I'm not falling for that, sister. 945 01:10:44,949 --> 01:10:49,119 I'm not well! Get this stupid thing off me! 946 01:10:50,830 --> 01:10:52,664 Ohh! Ohh! Ohh! 947 01:10:54,876 --> 01:10:57,002 - Ma! - She's a goner, Rocco. 948 01:10:57,170 --> 01:10:59,755 Dead. Then that's it. 949 01:10:59,839 --> 01:11:01,965 I'm coming with you, Ma! 950 01:11:03,426 --> 01:11:06,345 Pull out the bomb or I'll shoot the dame. 951 01:11:06,429 --> 01:11:09,139 All right. I'll do what you say. 952 01:11:09,349 --> 01:11:11,183 - Frank! - Don't harm her. 953 01:11:11,684 --> 01:11:14,853 You pull out the bomb and you'll kill me anyway. 954 01:11:14,938 --> 01:11:17,397 - Yeah. No dice! - Then I'll plug her. 955 01:11:17,482 --> 01:11:21,109 - Shoot her, I'll empty the envelope. - Frank, think about it. 956 01:11:21,194 --> 01:11:23,570 It's all right. You'll be dead. 957 01:11:23,655 --> 01:11:25,697 Then you'll kill everyone here. 958 01:11:25,782 --> 01:11:27,616 Yeah. 959 01:11:27,700 --> 01:11:29,868 I'll shoot if you don't do as I say. 960 01:11:30,036 --> 01:11:31,036 Jane? 961 01:11:31,204 --> 01:11:33,288 I'd be safe, so would everyone else. 962 01:11:33,373 --> 01:11:36,458 - But you'd be dead. - This is complicated, Rocco. 963 01:11:37,794 --> 01:11:42,464 Logically, you're psychotic, so you have the envelope, I'll have the gun. 964 01:11:42,674 --> 01:11:44,675 - Frank! - I know what I'm doing. 965 01:11:52,058 --> 01:11:53,517 All right! 966 01:11:55,561 --> 01:12:00,148 Here's your Best Picture! In front of the world, this place is going up. 967 01:12:00,233 --> 01:12:03,402 Well, if I'm going out, I'm going out happy. 968 01:12:04,821 --> 01:12:09,408 Wait. Before we're all blown up, can I get my underwear out of my crack? 969 01:12:10,326 --> 01:12:13,161 - I got to go comfortable. - Okay, but that's it. 970 01:12:16,749 --> 01:12:20,544 - Give it up, Rocco. You're history. - Look, George Hamilton! 971 01:12:23,965 --> 01:12:25,424 Come and get me, Drebin! 972 01:12:28,386 --> 01:12:29,594 Throw me a gun! 973 01:12:29,679 --> 01:12:31,513 Get rid of the bomb! 974 01:12:31,597 --> 01:12:34,099 Hold on, sweetheart. 975 01:12:35,768 --> 01:12:37,394 Frank, help! 976 01:12:37,729 --> 01:12:39,354 - Frank. - I know what I'm doing. 977 01:12:42,900 --> 01:12:45,360 JANE: I hate heights! 978 01:12:45,445 --> 01:12:47,112 Ohh! Oh, no! 979 01:12:48,156 --> 01:12:49,698 Move it, sister! 980 01:12:52,035 --> 01:12:53,952 Screw the commercials! 981 01:12:54,037 --> 01:12:56,621 All right, copper, you killed my ma! 982 01:12:56,706 --> 01:12:58,707 I'm taking the dame away from you. 983 01:12:59,584 --> 01:13:03,670 You hear me, copper? One push and Mrs Drebin is linoleum. 984 01:13:03,755 --> 01:13:06,840 Get a camera up there. This could be my best work. 985 01:13:06,924 --> 01:13:09,342 Any last words before I throw you off? 986 01:13:09,427 --> 01:13:12,888 - Yes. Don't do it. - Anything else? 987 01:13:13,473 --> 01:13:15,724 Frank, I love you. 988 01:13:15,808 --> 01:13:18,727 I want the world to know you're the perfect man. 989 01:13:18,811 --> 01:13:20,979 Frank, I hope you can hear me. 990 01:13:21,064 --> 01:13:22,689 They said I couldn't do drama. 991 01:13:22,774 --> 01:13:26,651 I was wrong. Taking you away from Police Squad was a mistake. 992 01:13:26,736 --> 01:13:30,280 I know now that's why you couldn't perform decent sex. 993 01:13:31,657 --> 01:13:34,659 I realise that now, and other things. 994 01:13:34,744 --> 01:13:36,995 Everything's under control. 995 01:13:37,080 --> 01:13:40,832 Nobody move! Any vibration may set this thing off. 996 01:13:42,418 --> 01:13:46,588 Frank, I've learned my lesson. And though it may be too late for me, 997 01:13:46,672 --> 01:13:50,383 I want all you ladies to remember something. 998 01:13:50,468 --> 01:13:52,928 Don't ever take your men for granted, 999 01:13:53,012 --> 01:13:56,264 because good men don't just fall out of the sky. 1000 01:13:56,808 --> 01:13:57,808 Aah! 1001 01:14:01,270 --> 01:14:04,022 He's caught up in the cable! Do something! 1002 01:14:15,368 --> 01:14:16,993 I'm coming, Ma! 1003 01:14:21,165 --> 01:14:22,165 Rocco? 1004 01:14:23,334 --> 01:14:24,709 Papshmir? 1005 01:14:37,598 --> 01:14:38,640 Jane... 1006 01:14:38,724 --> 01:14:42,310 - I never want us to be apart again. - Oh, Frank! 1007 01:14:42,395 --> 01:14:45,897 You like me. You really like me! 1008 01:15:05,918 --> 01:15:08,795 - Frank, slow down! - Hurry up! 1009 01:15:09,172 --> 01:15:10,630 Relax. There's time. 1010 01:15:10,715 --> 01:15:12,924 - You got the camcorder? - Here. Which room? 1011 01:15:13,009 --> 01:15:15,927 Delivery room. This must be it. 1012 01:15:16,596 --> 01:15:19,764 Jane, I'm here. Frank is here. 1013 01:15:19,849 --> 01:15:21,641 Push! Here it comes now. 1014 01:15:21,726 --> 01:15:24,186 Breathe, honey. Breathe, Jane. 1015 01:15:24,270 --> 01:15:26,188 One more push. That's it. 1016 01:15:26,272 --> 01:15:28,773 Congratulations, Dad. It's a boy! 1017 01:15:32,278 --> 01:15:33,278 Nordberg! 1018 01:15:33,571 --> 01:15:35,530 You come back here! 1019 01:15:35,615 --> 01:15:39,117 - Frank, it's a boy. - I know! 1020 01:20:06,760 --> 01:20:09,053 You're walkin' along the street 1021 01:20:09,305 --> 01:20:11,306 Or you're at a party 1022 01:20:11,599 --> 01:20:15,477 Or else you're alone and then you suddenly dig 1023 01:20:16,103 --> 01:20:18,730 You're lookin' in someone's eyes 1024 01:20:18,898 --> 01:20:20,940 You suddenly realise 1025 01:20:21,442 --> 01:20:24,652 That this could be the start of somethin' big 1026 01:20:25,613 --> 01:20:29,991 There's no controllin' the unrollin' of your fate, my friend 1027 01:20:30,326 --> 01:20:34,162 Who knows what's written in that magic book? 1028 01:20:35,247 --> 01:20:37,540 But when a lover you discover 1029 01:20:37,833 --> 01:20:39,584 At the gate, my friend 1030 01:20:39,960 --> 01:20:43,838 Invite him in without a second look 1031 01:20:44,215 --> 01:20:46,382 You're watchin' the sun come up 1032 01:20:46,592 --> 01:20:48,801 Or countin' your money 1033 01:20:48,969 --> 01:20:51,179 Or else in a dim cafe 1034 01:20:51,263 --> 01:20:53,431 You're orderin' wine 1035 01:20:53,557 --> 01:20:55,850 Then suddenly, there he is 1036 01:20:56,018 --> 01:20:58,603 You want to be where he is 1037 01:20:58,896 --> 01:21:01,564 And this must be the start of somethin' 1038 01:21:01,774 --> 01:21:03,900 This could be the heart of somethin' 1039 01:21:04,151 --> 01:21:06,945 This could be the start of somethin' big 1040 01:21:26,924 --> 01:21:30,301 You're watchin' the sun come up 1041 01:21:30,553 --> 01:21:33,972 Or countin' your money 1042 01:21:34,098 --> 01:21:37,809 Or else in a dim cafe 1043 01:21:37,977 --> 01:21:40,812 You're orderin' wine 1044 01:21:41,313 --> 01:21:44,065 Then suddenly there he is 1045 01:21:44,149 --> 01:21:46,985 You want to be where he is 1046 01:21:47,319 --> 01:21:50,238 And this could be the start of somethin' 1047 01:21:50,364 --> 01:21:52,991 This could be the heart of somethin' 1048 01:21:53,158 --> 01:21:55,785 This could be the start of somethin' 1049 01:21:56,120 --> 01:21:56,620 Big 1050 01:22:00,919 --> 01:22:23,919 © anoXmous @ https://thepiratebay.se/user/anoXmous 76033

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