All language subtitles for The.Naked.Gun.III.1994.720p.BluRay.x264.anoXmous_eng
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1
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:11,500
{\move(10,10,190,230,100,400)\fad(0,1000)\fscx25\fscy25\t(0,6000,\fscx125\fscy125)\c&H000000&\3c&H00FFFF&}anoXmous
2
00:00:12,501 --> 00:00:29,202
{\move(400,10,190,270,100,400)\fad(0,1000)\fscx25\fscy25\t(0,6000,\fscx125\fscy125)\c&H000000f&\3c&0000a6&}https://thepiratebay.se/user/anoXmous
3
00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:56,717
WOMAN: Hey, look! It's the President!
4
00:02:58,428 --> 00:02:59,595
And the Pope!
5
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,435
Yee-aah! Yah!
6
00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:08,521
Ooh-la-la-la-la-la!
7
00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:19,156
MAN: Oh, my God! Look!
It's disgruntled postal workers!
8
00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:40,386
Wait a minute! Give me my baby back!
9
00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,267
Aah! Aah!
10
00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:50,605
- Frank! Are you all right?
- I'm soaking wet.
11
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:53,900
- I'll get the talcum powder.
- No, I had a nightmare.
12
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:56,777
There was crime all around me.
I couldn't stop it.
13
00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:59,655
- It was just a dream.
- You're right.
14
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:04,327
All I need is a good rest.
In the morning everything'll be fine.
15
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:26,112
How's my little boy?
16
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:28,239
Getting along okay, sweetie?
17
00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:30,741
As well as a heterosexual can in prison.
18
00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:33,619
I don't know how much longer
I can take it.
19
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:36,288
- How's Tanya?
- Tanya's the same.
20
00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:39,416
Milky, creamy skin, pouting red lips,
21
00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:41,961
firm buttocks, ample breasts,
22
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:44,296
ears you want to stick your tongue into.
23
00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:46,132
Ma! I'll get guy cramps!
24
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:49,844
Sorry. Rocco, there's somebody here
to see you.
25
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:56,392
Papshmir.
26
00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:59,478
My people are very upset.
27
00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:02,481
They're always upset.
They're Arab terrorists.
28
00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,483
Ma, please.
29
00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:07,820
You're supposed to be
the best terrorist bomber in the world.
30
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:10,322
Stations, stores, government buildings...
31
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:11,657
The devastation in Florida.
32
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:15,578
- That was Hurricane Andrew.
- That's what they told the public.
33
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,913
We wanted to embarrass
the United States,
34
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:21,417
and you made the police
look like international heroes.
35
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:24,962
A first-class job costs 5 million.
36
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:27,298
If you want to step up to the price,
37
00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:31,260
I got a target that'll make City Hall
look like chicken feed.
38
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:39,226
That's a big target, but why should
I think anything would be different?
39
00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:41,270
$5 million buys me.
40
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:45,524
- I'm breaking out of here.
- All right,
41
00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:50,362
but fail this time
and my people won't be so forgiving.
42
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:55,409
Fail? Show me one man
who can stop me.
43
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,468
I used to be a renegade
44
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,554
I used to fool around
45
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:19,600
But I couldn't take the punishment
46
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,353
I had to settle down
47
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:26,649
Now I'm playing it real straight
48
00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:29,652
And yes, I cut my hair...
49
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:35,199
PA: Attention shoppers. Be sure
to check out our special on aisle 7.
50
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,826
It's hip to be square...
51
00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,287
PA: That's aisle 7.
52
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:46,752
Hey!
53
00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:50,214
Give it to me!
54
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,591
LADY: My purse! Somebody help me!
55
00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:56,178
THIEF: I want the purse, lady.
LADY: Help me!
56
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,348
He's a jolly good fellow
57
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:03,060
For he's a jolly good fellow
58
00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:06,021
Which nobody can deny
59
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:08,565
Hear! Hear!
60
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:14,780
Well, we shot a lot of people together.
It's been great.
61
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:18,617
But today I retire,
so if I do any shooting now,
62
00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:21,453
it'll have to be within
the confines of my own home.
63
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:25,874
Hopefully, an intruder and not
an in-law, like at my bachelor party.
64
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,419
Well, Ed.
65
00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:31,380
- I officially give you my gun.
- Aw...
66
00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:36,302
And my badge.
67
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:40,389
And...
68
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:45,561
Jane and I would like
to keep the handcuffs as a souvenir.
69
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,983
- Oh, gee...
- Cheer up, Ed. This is not goodbye.
70
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,986
It's just I won't ever see you again.
71
00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:55,571
Oh, Frank.
72
00:10:57,866 --> 00:11:00,409
LADY: My purse! Somebody help me!
73
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,661
THIEF: Out of the way.
74
00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:04,955
Lieutenant Drebin! Frank!
Didn't you see that?
75
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:08,459
What? Oh, yes. Kitty litter.
76
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:10,502
Two bags for a dollar. Great.
77
00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:15,924
Order. The jury will disregard
that statement. Continue, Counsellor.
78
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,345
Alimony had been set by the court.
Right, Mr Clayton?
79
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,929
Yes, but...
80
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:24,433
But not once have you paid
alimony to my client,
81
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:27,436
repeatedly defying a court order.
82
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,522
I lost her address.
She moved twice, I couldn't keep up.
83
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:33,817
Don't lie to me. You're under oath.
84
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:36,070
Do you know the penalty for perjury?
85
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,865
I'll ask that again.
86
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:43,410
Objection! Your Honour, I... ow, ow.
87
00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:44,578
Jeez!
88
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:48,207
- Counsel is leading the witness.
- Sustained.
89
00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:52,711
Sweetie, Mommy said no pounding
when she's in session.
90
00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:55,631
Please read
the prosecution's last statement.
91
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,300
"Don't lie to me. You're under oath."
92
00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:00,302
There.
93
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:03,806
"Do you know the penalty for perjury?"
94
00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:07,643
That's all I have, Your Honour.
95
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,312
You may continue, Ms Spencer-Drebin.
96
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,525
Er... prosecution rests.
97
00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:17,194
Defence,
Ms Davis-Jacob-Steiner-Laszlo?
98
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:19,071
No further questions, Your Honour.
99
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:22,074
Court will recess until
after the morning feed.
100
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:29,164
We're gonna win this. I can feel it.
101
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,250
Yes. Of course.
102
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:33,919
I married the wrong man.
103
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:36,088
I never thought that was possible.
104
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:39,091
- I beg your pardon?
- Oh, nothing.
105
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:42,428
Louise, there's no such thing
as the wrong man.
106
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,515
You just have to work at it.
107
00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:49,935
Now, let's see. Mr and Mrs Drebin, right?
108
00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:55,732
Now, you two have been married
for six months?
109
00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:59,445
Yes. We really appreciate
you seeing us, Doctor.
110
00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,947
You were recommended
by our last therapist.
111
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:05,200
Yes, I was sorry
to hear about his suicide.
112
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:09,288
You know, I feel it's important
to get off on the right foot
113
00:13:09,372 --> 00:13:11,790
and not get caught up in blame.
114
00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:14,293
Now, which one of you is impotent?
115
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:17,421
- That would be him.
- Yes, of course.
116
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:21,133
- Why don't you ask who's frigid?
- That would be him, also.
117
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:25,053
- How do you know? You're never home.
- He resents that I work.
118
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,556
He has no idea what a woman wants.
119
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,641
You're so insensitive.
120
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:33,312
- Is this the toilet seat thing?
- It's babies, Frank.
121
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:37,149
I want to have a baby. Whenever
we make love, you get a headache.
122
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:40,152
I'm not a piece of meat, Jane. I'm trying.
123
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:42,946
I've got ointments, lotions,
creams, books,
124
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,823
things that vibrate.
125
00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:46,909
- Frank!
- Maybe it's your fault.
126
00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:52,331
Have you tried sexy lingerie?
Some lacy underwear, a black teddy?
127
00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:54,750
I've worn them all. They don't work.
128
00:13:55,210 --> 00:13:56,210
Oh.
129
00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:58,462
Why don't you want a child?
130
00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:01,590
Didn't I try to adopt
that 18-year-old Korean girl?
131
00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:07,012
Jane, Frank, here's what I suggest.
132
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:10,098
Make tonight a special night.
133
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:13,018
Dinner, wine, romantic music.
134
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:16,355
Put on the 24-hour
Johnny Mathis station.
135
00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:19,608
Just be Jane and Frank, lovers.
136
00:14:20,944 --> 00:14:24,863
We haven't had a night like that
in a long time.
137
00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:27,282
- Not together.
- Frank?
138
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:30,118
Jane...
139
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:32,788
Having a baby is a big responsibility.
140
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:36,124
It's like being in charge
of sanitation at a Haitian jail.
141
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,377
I'm just frightened.
142
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:41,713
Frank, let's make tonight
something special.
143
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:44,716
Oh, honey,
it's just that I love you so much.
144
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,760
My little lover sparrow.
145
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:50,681
My puppy-wuppy wover.
146
00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:52,891
My little love biscuit.
147
00:14:52,976 --> 00:14:55,018
My little shnooky-wookums.
148
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:57,479
My little lady cheesy puppy.
149
00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:03,485
Mr and Mrs Drebin, please. I'm diabetic.
I think you should go now.
150
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:06,697
I never thought we'd end this way.
151
00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:09,992
How did you think we'd end?
152
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,120
I don't know.
153
00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:16,373
Some other way.
154
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:18,333
Oh, Jason.
155
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,557
Ed! Nordberg! It's been a long time.
156
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,685
Hiya, Frank! You look terrific!
157
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:40,689
Thank you.
The little woman got me a Thighmaster.
158
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,400
Where are my manners? Come on in.
159
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:45,944
How charming!
160
00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:48,363
Sit, sit.
161
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:51,283
Excuse the mess. It's my ironing day.
162
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,535
I just frosted some cupcakes.
163
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:56,413
- Would you care for one?
- Oh, not just now.
164
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:59,374
Frank, we have a problem
with a terrorist threat.
165
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,419
- Police Squad is certain...
- I'd love a cupcake.
166
00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:05,422
- That coffee smells great.
- I grind my own beans.
167
00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:09,551
Frank, the reason we're here
is that we need your help.
168
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,144
It's great!
169
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:22,230
I hoped you'd like them.
Made them from scratch.
170
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,149
I'll just get off my feet.
171
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:29,112
We may have a lead on a suspect
in the City Hall bombing attempt.
172
00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:31,823
These were taken
by a news photographer.
173
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:34,618
- This girl was the diversion.
- We had them enlarged.
174
00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:36,411
They look familiar.
175
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:39,373
No, the pin, she's a nurse.
176
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,667
Can I keep this one?
177
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:44,670
We traced her to the Karlson Clinic
on Myrtlewood.
178
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:47,589
- She's Tanya Peters.
- Tanya Peters?
179
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:52,135
- You know her?
- Don't you remember in the 1970s?
180
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,179
The big disco shoot-out.
181
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:58,892
Well, you can tell
by the way I use my walk
182
00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:01,269
I'm a woman's man, no time to talk
183
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,563
The music loud, the women warm
184
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,691
I've been kicked around
since I was born
185
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,068
But it's all right, I'm OK
186
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:10,612
You may look the other way
187
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:11,863
We can try to understand...
188
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:15,200
Ed, what's happening, my man?
189
00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:18,787
Frank, we missed you last night
at the fondue party.
190
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:22,624
I went to see the Village People.
They're a stone soul gas, man.
191
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:25,127
- I can dig it.
- What have we got here?
192
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:27,295
One dead disco dancer.
193
00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:30,507
Bummer. What a mindbender, huh?
194
00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,634
We think it was a love triangle.
195
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,971
This is the suspect's girlfriend,
Tanya Peters.
196
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,222
Cigarette?
197
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:39,182
Yes, I know.
198
00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:44,187
Well, we'll need a statement
from you down at the station.
199
00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:45,480
Nordberg!
200
00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:47,482
Coming, Lieutenant!
201
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,202
I do remember.
202
00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:02,247
You were one of the first test cases
for minoxidil, weren't you?
203
00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:05,584
- What?
- I'm glad I could help.
204
00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:08,420
Now, I've got some lamb
to put in the oven.
205
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,130
We need a favour.
206
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:12,466
It's not that big a roast, Nordberg.
207
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:14,384
No, not that, Frank.
208
00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:16,928
We need you to go undercover
at the clinic.
209
00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:19,055
Whoa! I've given up police work, Ed.
210
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:21,641
You're whistling up
the wrong neck of the woods.
211
00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:26,438
- We're in a bind, Frank.
- What about Hedges and O'Malley?
212
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:29,357
They're in Hawaii. Together.
213
00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:34,905
Well, I can't. Jane and I
have a special evening planned.
214
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:37,449
You'll be home in time to make dinner.
215
00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:40,035
I'd have to make pork chops.
216
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:43,205
Frank, think of all the crime out there.
217
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,874
Nobody is safe.
You'd be protecting Jane.
218
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,752
You'd be protecting
all the Janes of the world.
219
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:51,046
And you haven't shot anybody in months.
220
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:54,925
That's true.
Funny how you miss the little things.
221
00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:57,052
Might be good to feel
that cold, hard steel
222
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,387
pressed against my thigh once again.
223
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:02,098
The thrill of the chase, to be a man.
224
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:07,062
After folding the laundry,
I went to the Karlson Clinic.
225
00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:09,981
It's always important to have a disguise
226
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:13,026
and this operation was no different.
227
00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:17,489
I had no idea if Tanya
would recognise me,
228
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:19,950
so I slipped on a fake pair of glasses
229
00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:22,285
and combed my hair differently.
230
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:24,287
The plan was to get in,
231
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:27,332
get information about Tanya's
link with the bombing,
232
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,918
and get out as quickly as possible.
233
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:34,172
I figured faking an old football
injury would do the trick.
234
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:38,426
- Can I help you?
- I'd like to see a doctor, please.
235
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:41,012
Sign in here, please.
236
00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:46,268
- Do you have an appointment, Mr...
- Er, Smith. No, I don't.
237
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:47,936
Take a number.
238
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,479
Six.
239
00:19:49,564 --> 00:19:52,023
- What?
- Is six taken?
240
00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:54,442
Does it have to be between 1 and 10?
241
00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:00,740
You'll be called.
242
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,450
Thank you.
243
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,958
Mr Smith?
244
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:15,297
We've had a cancellation.
We can take you now.
245
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:18,133
Good morning, Mr Smith. This way.
246
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:21,720
I really appreciate
your seeing me like this.
247
00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:24,472
I'm sure it won't take too long.
248
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:32,480
When did you notice the problem?
249
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:35,650
Uh, in the back yard with my uncle.
250
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:38,820
In the back yard with your uncle?
251
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,989
Yes. When he comes over to visit,
252
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:45,160
we like to go in the back yard,
throw it around for a while.
253
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:48,538
What did you and your uncle find out?
254
00:20:48,623 --> 00:20:52,375
I can't keep up with him.
Mine hurt, especially on the long ones.
255
00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:55,420
I can't seem to straighten it out.
256
00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:57,964
It has no feeling. It's kind of numb.
257
00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:01,676
I may have yanked it too much.
258
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:09,267
- If you would.
- For what?
259
00:21:09,352 --> 00:21:12,354
- A sperm count.
- In here?
260
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:16,107
It's not exactly the back yard, but it'll do.
261
00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:18,318
Well...
262
00:21:35,336 --> 00:21:38,755
Follow me, and we'll do
the necessary paperwork.
263
00:21:42,051 --> 00:21:45,387
Sign these at the bottom
and leave them with the nurse.
264
00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:50,100
- This way, please.
- What?
265
00:21:50,184 --> 00:21:52,227
- Number 17.
- Oh, no.
266
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:54,270
- A problem?
- No, no.
267
00:21:54,355 --> 00:21:57,983
- This is 17.
- Have we met before?
268
00:21:58,067 --> 00:22:00,694
If you'll excuse me, I'm next.
269
00:22:01,112 --> 00:22:02,529
Ooh! Aah!
270
00:22:02,905 --> 00:22:04,864
Agh! Eurgh!
271
00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:07,867
- Sir?
- Aah!
272
00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:10,578
Mr Smith, how are we doing?
273
00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:14,749
I've been busy.
274
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:19,504
- Do you want a videotape to help?
- Do you have Dances With Wolves?
275
00:22:19,588 --> 00:22:22,007
Rocketeer? Lady And The Tramp?
276
00:22:22,091 --> 00:22:23,800
An adult movie.
277
00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:26,428
Hmm...
278
00:22:27,930 --> 00:22:30,098
Ooh! Aah! Yeow!
279
00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:38,440
The tape was very entertaining.
280
00:22:39,316 --> 00:22:41,276
Follow me.
281
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,945
Do you have Spartacus?
282
00:23:05,885 --> 00:23:08,386
PA: Maintenance. Clean-up, room 7.
283
00:23:08,471 --> 00:23:11,765
Maintenance. Clean-up, room 7. Stat.
284
00:23:17,772 --> 00:23:20,648
- What are you doing?
- Just freshening up.
285
00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:24,652
You should look your best
even though you're by yourself.
286
00:23:26,072 --> 00:23:27,864
Are you sure we've never met?
287
00:23:27,948 --> 00:23:30,742
Here's my cup. Back to work.
288
00:23:32,286 --> 00:23:34,579
- Knocking.
- Mr Smith?
289
00:23:34,997 --> 00:23:38,166
- Are you okay in there?
- I could use a little help.
290
00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:42,837
PA: Dr Rosenblatt,
foreplay in room 7, please.
291
00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:44,798
Dr Rosenblatt.
292
00:24:02,691 --> 00:24:05,610
Honey, I've been waiting all day.
293
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:10,073
I'm wearing the nightgown
you bought me for our honeymoon.
294
00:24:13,244 --> 00:24:14,744
Tonight's going to be special.
295
00:24:14,829 --> 00:24:18,123
I'm going to make love to you
for hours and hours.
296
00:24:18,916 --> 00:24:21,042
Wouldn't Mr Happy like that?
297
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,588
- Hours?
- Like our first time together.
298
00:24:25,673 --> 00:24:29,592
Jane, why don't I soak in the tub
for a couple of days?
299
00:24:29,677 --> 00:24:31,970
Possibly a week.
300
00:24:32,054 --> 00:24:33,638
You're so cute.
301
00:24:33,722 --> 00:24:36,641
Let me go get the oysters and clams.
302
00:24:36,809 --> 00:24:39,477
Walk my way
303
00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:44,440
And a thousand violins
304
00:24:44,567 --> 00:24:46,734
Begin to play
305
00:24:47,987 --> 00:24:49,571
Or it might be the sound
306
00:24:49,738 --> 00:24:52,740
Of your hello
307
00:24:53,242 --> 00:24:55,577
That music I hear
308
00:24:56,579 --> 00:24:58,079
I get misty
309
00:24:58,706 --> 00:25:01,958
The moment you're near
310
00:25:05,921 --> 00:25:06,921
You can say
311
00:25:07,131 --> 00:25:11,342
That you're leading me on...
312
00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:13,178
Here.
313
00:25:13,262 --> 00:25:15,930
I'll shave your back like last time.
314
00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:18,933
Jane, I really don't think we should. I...
315
00:25:19,935 --> 00:25:22,395
Frank! What's this?
316
00:25:22,479 --> 00:25:24,397
I fell on a rake.
317
00:25:24,481 --> 00:25:28,401
You're lying.
Now I know why Ed's been calling.
318
00:25:28,485 --> 00:25:32,822
- You're back on a case, aren't you?
- No, I swear. It's another woman!
319
00:25:32,907 --> 00:25:34,866
In your wildest dreams!
320
00:25:34,950 --> 00:25:39,204
It's bad enough not having a baby,
but I warned you about Police Squad,
321
00:25:39,288 --> 00:25:41,831
you white Anglo male!
322
00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:43,917
Jane! Ah! Jane!
323
00:25:44,335 --> 00:25:48,254
It was nothing, Jane.
I was doing Ed a small favour!
324
00:25:48,339 --> 00:25:51,090
Some retirement. I'm leaving, Frank.
325
00:25:51,175 --> 00:25:53,635
I never thought
you'd go back on your word.
326
00:25:53,719 --> 00:25:55,970
- Aren't you being hasty?
- I don't think so.
327
00:25:56,096 --> 00:26:00,225
That's my cab. I'll be at Louise's.
328
00:26:00,309 --> 00:26:05,146
Oh, Frank, how could you?
We need time apart to think about us.
329
00:26:05,231 --> 00:26:08,566
I'm not going to think.
Why start now? I love you.
330
00:26:08,651 --> 00:26:11,736
Look, baby, I am what I am
and I do what I do.
331
00:26:11,820 --> 00:26:14,239
A few guys make shoelaces,
some lay sod,
332
00:26:14,323 --> 00:26:16,574
some make a living neutering animals.
333
00:26:16,659 --> 00:26:19,077
- I'm a cop.
- Pretty speech, Frank.
334
00:26:19,161 --> 00:26:21,412
But my mind is made up. I'm leaving.
335
00:26:21,497 --> 00:26:22,872
All right.
336
00:26:22,957 --> 00:26:24,999
Then take this with you.
337
00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:32,674
You know how my lips feel about things.
338
00:26:39,682 --> 00:26:41,266
Goodbye, Frank.
339
00:26:41,350 --> 00:26:46,020
RADIO: You're listening to KSAD,
all-depressing, all the time.
340
00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:49,607
Here's a dedication to Frank from Jane,
who just called from a taxi.
341
00:26:49,692 --> 00:26:51,859
"Frank, you lying weasel-weenie."
342
00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:56,698
"First you shoot blanks,
now you're letting all the heat out..."
343
00:27:00,202 --> 00:27:04,330
He said he'd never go back to police
work. Once a cop, always a cop.
344
00:27:04,415 --> 00:27:08,710
- He's married to his work.
- You'll always come in second.
345
00:27:08,836 --> 00:27:13,339
There was an article in Cosmo,
"Why all men are pigs".
346
00:27:13,424 --> 00:27:16,384
"Frank" is just another word for loser.
347
00:27:16,468 --> 00:27:18,136
I never want to see him again.
348
00:27:18,220 --> 00:27:20,972
I want to get as far away as possible.
349
00:27:21,056 --> 00:27:23,891
We'll go to my friend's cabin
by the smelting plant.
350
00:27:23,976 --> 00:27:25,977
The fresh air will do you good.
351
00:27:26,061 --> 00:27:28,646
Go easy.
That's your second bottle of Chanel.
352
00:27:28,731 --> 00:27:32,483
You're witnessing the beginning
of a new Jane Spencer-Drebin.
353
00:27:32,568 --> 00:27:36,070
No more little miss perky,
devoting her life to one man.
354
00:27:36,155 --> 00:27:38,114
I'm out for the new me.
355
00:27:38,198 --> 00:27:40,241
Let's burn rubber.
356
00:27:43,037 --> 00:27:46,998
- Didn't forget anything, did you?
- I hope not.
357
00:27:50,419 --> 00:27:54,756
Just calm down, ma'am. How many
bodies did you find in your pool?
358
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:59,260
Sir, killing a gang member's
only an $18 fine. Just mail it in.
359
00:27:59,386 --> 00:28:02,055
Frank! Glad you could make it!
360
00:28:02,222 --> 00:28:03,681
- Welcome, buddy.
- Nordberg.
361
00:28:03,807 --> 00:28:06,059
Did you find Tanya's address, Frank?
362
00:28:06,143 --> 00:28:10,271
I wrote it on a hanky, and I can't
remember what I did with it.
363
00:28:10,397 --> 00:28:13,816
- I'm getting a bit rusty.
- It could happen to anybody.
364
00:28:13,901 --> 00:28:17,570
I brought you
some of Frank's never-fail fudge!
365
00:28:18,322 --> 00:28:20,698
You go on about your business.
366
00:28:20,783 --> 00:28:23,701
I'll stay out of your hair.
367
00:28:23,786 --> 00:28:25,244
It'll be...
368
00:28:26,622 --> 00:28:31,042
Frank, let me take that.
We've got a surprise for you.
369
00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:34,754
It's in honour of your 30 years
on the force. Nordberg.
370
00:28:37,216 --> 00:28:40,718
Oh, boy. This is really great.
371
00:28:44,431 --> 00:28:46,516
Thank you, guys.
372
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:48,393
We thought it might cheer you up.
373
00:28:48,477 --> 00:28:50,561
We heard about you and Jane.
374
00:28:50,646 --> 00:28:54,690
Jane, Jane. That name
will always remind me of her.
375
00:28:54,775 --> 00:28:57,985
Frank, I feel really bad about all of this.
376
00:28:58,070 --> 00:28:59,987
If there's anything you need.
377
00:29:00,072 --> 00:29:02,240
Dr Kevorkian's home phone number?
378
00:29:02,324 --> 00:29:04,909
Nordberg, put it together.
379
00:29:04,993 --> 00:29:07,620
- Frank, you know we're here for you.
- Thanks, Ed.
380
00:29:07,704 --> 00:29:11,207
Well, look who's here.
Hi, Frank. Nice to see you.
381
00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:14,877
- I've got that data on the bomb.
- What did you find out?
382
00:29:15,003 --> 00:29:17,755
The explosive is a very fine powder.
383
00:29:18,298 --> 00:29:22,427
- It tastes like...
- That's fertiliser. Another case.
384
00:29:22,511 --> 00:29:25,054
This is what I'm talking about.
385
00:29:25,139 --> 00:29:28,015
We detected a high quantity
of nitroglycerine.
386
00:29:28,100 --> 00:29:31,936
- Can you tell us where it came from?
- I'd be glad to.
387
00:29:32,020 --> 00:29:34,939
Billions of years ago,
the Earth was a molten mass...
388
00:29:35,023 --> 00:29:37,233
Ted, I'm talking about the powder.
389
00:29:37,317 --> 00:29:41,529
We don't know about that.
Let me take that urine specimen.
390
00:29:42,030 --> 00:29:45,783
We found a list
of the bomber's plans at the scene.
391
00:29:45,868 --> 00:29:47,243
On a hunch, we analysed the paper.
392
00:29:47,327 --> 00:29:49,745
- And you got something?
- Yes.
393
00:29:49,830 --> 00:29:51,914
The paper's from Statesville Prison.
394
00:29:51,999 --> 00:29:56,377
- Are you sure?
- Positive. We analysed the wood fibres
395
00:29:56,462 --> 00:29:59,547
and found them to be from
the rare Canary Island pine,
396
00:29:59,673 --> 00:30:01,007
which grows only in Oregon.
397
00:30:01,091 --> 00:30:03,509
Contacting paper mills in that area
398
00:30:03,594 --> 00:30:06,220
led us to a distribution centre
in Tacoma.
399
00:30:06,305 --> 00:30:08,598
Unfortunately, the trail ended there.
400
00:30:08,682 --> 00:30:12,351
- How'd you trace it to the prison?
- Right here on the letterhead.
401
00:30:13,061 --> 00:30:16,731
After comparing handwriting
of every known bomber
402
00:30:16,857 --> 00:30:18,733
serving a stretch in Statesville,
403
00:30:18,817 --> 00:30:20,943
we came up with a suspect.
Rocco Dillon.
404
00:30:21,028 --> 00:30:23,946
He's masterminding the bombings
from inside the prison.
405
00:30:24,031 --> 00:30:27,950
There's only one way to find out
where Rocco will strike next.
406
00:30:28,035 --> 00:30:30,328
We have to send someone in there.
407
00:30:30,412 --> 00:30:34,332
- I'll do it.
- I wouldn't feel right about that.
408
00:30:34,416 --> 00:30:37,084
If Rocco thinks you're a cop,
you might end up dead.
409
00:30:37,169 --> 00:30:39,837
"You might end up dead"
is my middle name.
410
00:30:39,922 --> 00:30:41,506
What about Jane?
411
00:30:41,590 --> 00:30:44,675
I don't know her middle name.
I need the action.
412
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:46,511
I'm going inside the big house.
413
00:30:46,595 --> 00:30:49,847
Frank, Ed.
I think you might want to see this.
414
00:30:49,932 --> 00:30:53,601
We're testing out a prototype
for an anti-carjacking device.
415
00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:55,811
We'll see how it works.
416
00:30:55,896 --> 00:30:57,104
Get out!
417
00:30:57,940 --> 00:30:59,440
Don't make me... Argh!
418
00:31:04,905 --> 00:31:07,114
We call it the Denver jockstrap.
419
00:31:14,540 --> 00:31:18,709
After being retired for six months,
I was finally back in action.
420
00:31:18,835 --> 00:31:23,965
Faster than saying "spread 'em",
I was in Statesville Prison.
421
00:31:24,049 --> 00:31:27,218
I was surrounded by pimps,
rapists and murderers.
422
00:31:27,302 --> 00:31:30,388
It was like being in the stands
at an LA Raiders game.
423
00:31:30,472 --> 00:31:35,601
It was going to take all my police
experience just to stay alive here.
424
00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:49,574
After a long and generous cavity search,
425
00:31:49,658 --> 00:31:52,660
I reached my destination,
Maximum Security,
426
00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:56,414
home of some of the most
violent sociopaths in the country.
427
00:31:56,498 --> 00:31:59,083
And the worst of them all, Rocco Dillon.
428
00:32:02,921 --> 00:32:04,255
GUARD: All right, in here.
429
00:32:04,339 --> 00:32:07,049
Ain't no prison yet could hold me.
430
00:32:07,175 --> 00:32:08,718
Attica! Attica!
431
00:32:08,844 --> 00:32:12,096
Power to the brothers! Kill whitey!
432
00:32:12,180 --> 00:32:13,931
Kill whitey!
433
00:32:14,016 --> 00:32:16,267
PRISONER: Knock it off!
434
00:32:19,646 --> 00:32:21,772
You're chirping loud for a new canary.
435
00:32:21,857 --> 00:32:25,610
Keep flashing the big eyes
and I'll rotate your jaw.
436
00:32:25,694 --> 00:32:29,280
Hey! You know who you talking to?
437
00:32:29,364 --> 00:32:31,449
The man is Rocco Dillon.
438
00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:35,077
- Where's your prison number?
- It's unlisted.
439
00:32:35,162 --> 00:32:38,789
Just call me Nick "The Slasher" McGirk.
440
00:32:38,874 --> 00:32:43,127
Look, I'm the muscle in this pen.
Just stay out of my way.
441
00:32:43,211 --> 00:32:45,463
You just watch your step, McGirk.
442
00:32:45,547 --> 00:32:48,299
Take it from me,
this place changes a man.
443
00:32:48,383 --> 00:32:49,925
Yeah? How?
444
00:32:50,010 --> 00:32:51,677
I used to be white.
445
00:32:53,597 --> 00:32:56,265
I was the drummer for the Osmonds.
446
00:32:56,350 --> 00:33:00,895
Screw with me, he'll make you
feel pain like never before.
447
00:33:00,979 --> 00:33:03,689
I know. I remember the Osmonds.
448
00:33:05,025 --> 00:33:08,319
- Better hit the rack, McGirk.
- In a minute.
449
00:33:08,403 --> 00:33:12,823
First I'm gonna make a list of who
I'm gonna kill in the next few days.
450
00:33:12,908 --> 00:33:15,826
GUARD: Lights out.
Lockdown in two minutes.
451
00:33:19,748 --> 00:33:22,917
My dearest snooky wookums
dumpling buns,
452
00:33:23,001 --> 00:33:24,835
I miss you so much.
453
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:29,799
I haven't hurt this bad
since the last time I was dumped.
454
00:33:29,883 --> 00:33:33,844
I remember it well.
Her name was Gabriella.
455
00:33:33,929 --> 00:33:35,888
We were supposed to be married,
456
00:33:35,972 --> 00:33:39,433
but on the day of our wedding,
she never showed up.
457
00:33:43,522 --> 00:33:48,067
I was heartbroken. I figured
she had fallen for another man,
458
00:33:48,151 --> 00:33:51,195
someone who could do to her
what I never could.
459
00:33:51,279 --> 00:33:55,116
I thought my life was over
until that one glorious day.
460
00:33:56,785 --> 00:33:58,869
That was the day you became my wife.
461
00:33:58,954 --> 00:34:01,997
Our friends gathered
to celebrate our love.
462
00:34:02,082 --> 00:34:03,999
It seems like only yesterday.
463
00:34:04,084 --> 00:34:06,377
We were all so overjoyed.
464
00:34:06,461 --> 00:34:09,714
I remember wishing
we could take everyone with us.
465
00:34:09,798 --> 00:34:11,465
That was the happiest day of my life.
466
00:34:11,550 --> 00:34:15,845
I remember the plans we made.
Things were going to be so perfect.
467
00:34:15,929 --> 00:34:19,223
We got that housekeeper
you always wanted.
468
00:34:19,307 --> 00:34:21,642
Hi, Mr D. Hi, Mrs D.
469
00:34:21,727 --> 00:34:24,770
And I knew that eventually
our dream would come true.
470
00:34:24,855 --> 00:34:28,190
One day we'd have
our own Frank Drebin Jr.
471
00:34:28,275 --> 00:34:30,735
ROCCO: Shut up.
I'm trying to get some sleep.
472
00:34:30,819 --> 00:34:33,738
Nah, it's no use.
She'll never come back.
473
00:34:39,828 --> 00:34:42,371
You shake my nerves
and you rattle my brain
474
00:34:42,914 --> 00:34:45,374
Too much love drives a man insane
475
00:34:45,834 --> 00:34:48,377
You broke my will, but what a thrill
476
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:51,797
Goodness gracious,
great balls of fire!
477
00:34:52,174 --> 00:34:54,800
I laughed at love
cos I thought it was funny
478
00:34:55,051 --> 00:34:57,720
You came along
and moved me, honey
479
00:34:58,305 --> 00:35:00,681
I changed my mind,
this love is fine
480
00:35:01,349 --> 00:35:04,059
Goodness gracious,
great balls of fire!
481
00:35:39,638 --> 00:35:41,680
Bend over and pick it up for me,
482
00:35:42,766 --> 00:35:44,558
would you, lover?
483
00:35:44,643 --> 00:35:46,477
No problem.
484
00:35:56,988 --> 00:35:59,990
Rocco could tell
from my escapade in the shower
485
00:36:00,075 --> 00:36:02,117
that I was well-endowed with courage.
486
00:36:02,202 --> 00:36:04,119
Now I had to get on the inside.
487
00:36:04,204 --> 00:36:08,457
Like a blind man at an orgy, I was
going to have to feel things out.
488
00:36:09,876 --> 00:36:15,005
Tyrone, I got the escape
plans right here. Just you and me.
489
00:36:15,090 --> 00:36:18,175
- Burnett wants in.
- Burnett's one of the guards!
490
00:36:18,260 --> 00:36:20,636
I know, but he's unhappy here.
491
00:36:20,720 --> 00:36:22,763
All right, all right. Whatever.
492
00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:25,224
Got it all worked out right here.
493
00:36:28,770 --> 00:36:32,648
What's this?
Another letter from your mommy?
494
00:36:32,732 --> 00:36:35,442
- That's private!
- Let's see what we have.
495
00:36:35,527 --> 00:36:39,280
- Give the man back his letter.
- Buzz off, butter cheeks.
496
00:36:40,782 --> 00:36:43,868
What's so special about a little letter?
497
00:36:43,952 --> 00:36:46,954
Wait a minute. An escape plan!
498
00:36:47,289 --> 00:36:50,624
This is your ticket
to another 20 years, Dillon.
499
00:36:50,709 --> 00:36:53,043
If the warden gets one look at this...
500
00:36:53,128 --> 00:36:56,714
Hey! You call this slop?
501
00:36:56,798 --> 00:36:59,216
Real slop has got chunks in it!
502
00:36:59,301 --> 00:37:01,719
This is more like gruel!
503
00:37:01,803 --> 00:37:05,139
And this Chateau le Blanc '68
504
00:37:05,223 --> 00:37:07,892
is supposed to be served slightly chilled!
505
00:37:07,976 --> 00:37:13,063
This is room temperature!
What do you think we are, animals?
506
00:37:13,148 --> 00:37:14,899
ALL: No!
507
00:37:14,983 --> 00:37:17,401
What are we?
508
00:37:17,485 --> 00:37:19,320
Homo sapiens?
509
00:37:20,488 --> 00:37:24,992
You're right! We are men! We are men!
510
00:37:25,285 --> 00:37:27,161
ALL: We are men!
511
00:37:27,287 --> 00:37:32,416
We are men!
512
00:38:03,782 --> 00:38:06,992
Left hand blue. Whose hand is that?
513
00:38:16,544 --> 00:38:20,172
Come on, son. You can do it.
Eat some beans!
514
00:38:41,861 --> 00:38:46,156
You saved my bacon, McGirk.
I'd be in solitary if you hadn't done that.
515
00:38:46,241 --> 00:38:49,451
I've been watching you.
You handle yourself good.
516
00:38:49,536 --> 00:38:51,578
- "Really well".
- Whatever.
517
00:38:51,663 --> 00:38:55,833
I got something big on the outside.
I could use you in my gang.
518
00:38:55,917 --> 00:38:57,918
- Dental plan?
- Full coverage.
519
00:38:58,003 --> 00:39:00,170
- What's the caper?
- First we bust out.
520
00:39:00,255 --> 00:39:04,174
Thanks to you, we still have
our escape plan. Let's have it.
521
00:39:04,259 --> 00:39:06,760
- It's a good plan.
- I've had better.
522
00:39:06,845 --> 00:39:10,014
Listen, I've got a fool-proof plan.
523
00:39:11,349 --> 00:39:12,933
They got Tyrone.
524
00:39:14,352 --> 00:39:17,438
Can't... Can't we all just get along?
525
00:39:23,111 --> 00:39:26,447
Now that Tyrone was in solitary,
it was just me and Rocco.
526
00:39:26,531 --> 00:39:28,532
He had to trust me.
527
00:39:28,616 --> 00:39:30,534
'Shh! Hold on.
528
00:39:30,618 --> 00:39:32,286
Okay.
529
00:39:32,370 --> 00:39:34,788
I convinced Rocco to dig a tunnel.
530
00:39:34,873 --> 00:39:36,915
It was that or go out in a laundry truck.
531
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:40,335
The thought of lying nose down
in skid marks
532
00:39:40,420 --> 00:39:42,671
didn't leave a good taste in my mouth.
533
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:49,762
Disposing of the dirt
was a problem I solved
534
00:39:49,846 --> 00:39:51,513
early in the construction.
535
00:39:51,598 --> 00:39:55,225
Apart from some chafing,
we made good progress.
536
00:39:55,351 --> 00:39:56,518
We kept digging.
537
00:39:56,603 --> 00:39:59,855
Dummies gave the impression
we were still in our cell.
538
00:40:00,940 --> 00:40:02,066
GUARD: Lights out.
539
00:40:02,442 --> 00:40:06,862
There was more dirt than I thought.
Disposing of it was becoming tricky.
540
00:40:29,511 --> 00:40:31,220
Safe!
541
00:40:32,388 --> 00:40:34,181
Ninety-nine bottles of beer
on the wall
542
00:40:35,767 --> 00:40:38,185
If one of those bottles
should happen to fall
543
00:40:38,353 --> 00:40:40,270
Ninety-eight bottles of beer
on the wall
544
00:40:40,438 --> 00:40:43,857
Ninety-eight bottles of beer
on the wall...
545
00:40:44,359 --> 00:40:45,818
Where are you going?
546
00:40:45,902 --> 00:40:50,280
- Are you thinking of Frank again?
- They're playing our song.
547
00:40:50,365 --> 00:40:53,117
I understand. Take your time.
548
00:41:09,884 --> 00:41:11,802
- Hello there.
- Excuse me.
549
00:41:11,886 --> 00:41:15,639
I'm hauling a load of rice cakes to Big D.
Coming with me?
550
00:41:15,723 --> 00:41:16,807
No.
551
00:41:16,891 --> 00:41:18,600
- How about a kiss?
- No.
552
00:41:18,685 --> 00:41:21,645
When a woman says no,
she means yes.
553
00:41:21,729 --> 00:41:24,314
- How about that kiss?
- Yes.
554
00:41:24,399 --> 00:41:29,069
No? I know your type. Come on, baby.
We're two of a kind.
555
00:41:42,834 --> 00:41:45,127
Oh, my God! You killed him!
556
00:41:45,211 --> 00:41:47,087
It was an accident. Call the police.
557
00:41:47,172 --> 00:41:51,842
Come to your senses. You killed a man.
You're a hero to every woman.
558
00:41:51,926 --> 00:41:54,970
We have to call Frank. He'll protect us.
559
00:41:55,054 --> 00:41:58,098
Frank is a man.
He'll see you locked away forever.
560
00:42:00,602 --> 00:42:04,229
Jane, I want to join you, to help
you kill as many men as possible.
561
00:42:04,772 --> 00:42:05,772
Yipes!
562
00:42:07,233 --> 00:42:10,027
Louise, do what you have to do.
I'm calling Frank.
563
00:42:13,865 --> 00:42:15,365
TRUCKER: Oh, boy, did that hurt.
564
00:42:15,450 --> 00:42:19,286
Be home, Frank. Answer the phone.
565
00:42:19,495 --> 00:42:20,787
Frank!
566
00:42:21,039 --> 00:42:22,706
ANSWERPHONE: Hi, this is Frank.
And Jane.
567
00:42:22,790 --> 00:42:27,836
BOTH: We're the Drebins. We're not
home right now so leave a message!
568
00:42:29,214 --> 00:42:31,506
FRANK: Which button is it?
JANE: Not that one!
569
00:42:43,144 --> 00:42:46,730
"Tanya"? It was another woman.
Frank wasn't lying.
570
00:42:47,106 --> 00:42:50,817
"Honeymoon Bay Road."
I bet they're alone there now!
571
00:42:51,194 --> 00:42:52,236
Frank!
572
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:54,029
Cell inspection.
573
00:42:56,241 --> 00:42:59,076
There's been a rumour
of a possible breakout.
574
00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:03,330
If we suspect anyone
of attempting to escape,
575
00:43:03,414 --> 00:43:06,667
they will be punished severely.
576
00:43:07,794 --> 00:43:11,505
Once word of the escape was out,
we headed for the tunnel.
577
00:43:11,589 --> 00:43:13,966
The last few feet were dug on the run.
578
00:43:14,050 --> 00:43:18,387
Another 47 yards would
take us beyond the prison walls.
579
00:43:18,471 --> 00:43:22,933
May he rest in peace,
in the arms of our... Jesus Christ!
580
00:43:23,017 --> 00:43:24,726
ALL: Amen.
581
00:43:24,811 --> 00:43:28,021
FRANK: Rocco had arranged
for a car to meet us.
582
00:43:30,191 --> 00:43:32,776
After making a slight adjustment
583
00:43:32,860 --> 00:43:37,030
we arrived at the rendezvous point,
a Los Angeles city high school.
584
00:43:51,254 --> 00:43:53,297
Hey, that was close.
585
00:43:53,381 --> 00:43:57,134
Hey, Rocco, who's the old hag?
She take one in the face?
586
00:43:57,969 --> 00:43:59,928
She's my mother.
587
00:44:00,013 --> 00:44:04,099
Mrs Dillon. Your son is a ruthless,
sadistic, cold-blooded animal.
588
00:44:04,183 --> 00:44:07,436
- You must be proud of him.
- I am.
589
00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:11,315
I want you to meet a real square egg,
Nick "The Slasher" McGirk.
590
00:44:11,399 --> 00:44:13,650
There's fresh clothes in the back.
591
00:44:13,735 --> 00:44:19,656
Rocco's mom was quiet. I felt
she didn't care for me coming along.
592
00:44:19,741 --> 00:44:24,745
Like a midget at a urinal,
I was going to have to stay on my toes.
593
00:44:36,466 --> 00:44:37,924
Hey! Stop!
594
00:44:42,513 --> 00:44:43,805
Oh, Frank.
595
00:44:59,906 --> 00:45:04,159
It wasn't my fault. That cow
shouldn't have been in the road.
596
00:45:04,243 --> 00:45:06,203
Hurry up. You're letting the flies in.
597
00:45:06,287 --> 00:45:08,914
- What do you think?
- Great setup.
598
00:45:08,998 --> 00:45:13,543
No phone, miles from the nearest
town, Playboy channel. Perfect.
599
00:45:13,628 --> 00:45:16,129
Nice digs. But I'm here for the action.
600
00:45:16,214 --> 00:45:19,216
What is it? Bank, armoured car, payroll?
601
00:45:19,300 --> 00:45:22,677
You're getting
a little bit too nosy, McGirk.
602
00:45:22,762 --> 00:45:24,554
Relax, Ma.
603
00:45:24,639 --> 00:45:27,933
- She's itching to use her new gun.
- I know the feeling.
604
00:45:49,163 --> 00:45:53,417
It was Tanya.
That bathing suit was never happier.
605
00:45:53,501 --> 00:45:57,337
I had only a second to admire the view.
I had to watch out.
606
00:45:57,422 --> 00:46:00,882
If she made me as a cop,
I'd be tonight's meat loaf.
607
00:46:00,967 --> 00:46:02,759
Come here, sexy.
608
00:46:02,844 --> 00:46:05,595
You're all woman.
I could tell by looking at you.
609
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:08,223
Hey, she's referring to me.
610
00:46:09,142 --> 00:46:11,643
I was talking about your mother.
611
00:46:13,729 --> 00:46:16,940
MOTHER: That's no way to be
walking around. Get some clothes on.
612
00:46:17,024 --> 00:46:19,109
And what are you doing
in my bathing suit?
613
00:46:20,820 --> 00:46:22,863
Hey, who's the stud?
614
00:46:22,947 --> 00:46:25,657
Meet the newest member of our gang.
615
00:46:26,701 --> 00:46:29,536
Slasher McGirk, meet Tanya Peters.
616
00:46:29,620 --> 00:46:32,581
Wait a minute.
Don't I know you from somewhere?
617
00:46:32,790 --> 00:46:35,959
I smelled cop on him
the minute I saw him.
618
00:46:36,043 --> 00:46:39,004
I get it all the time.
It's the underwear ads.
619
00:46:39,714 --> 00:46:44,384
- Are you saying you're not a cop?
- Well, yeah.
620
00:46:45,052 --> 00:46:47,637
- That's good enough for me.
- Me, too.
621
00:46:47,722 --> 00:46:50,432
All right. I'm glad that's all cleared up.
622
00:46:50,516 --> 00:46:52,934
Ma, why not kiss and make up?
623
00:46:54,187 --> 00:46:56,229
Well, all right.
624
00:47:06,657 --> 00:47:08,742
Now that's more like it.
625
00:47:24,926 --> 00:47:26,468
Uh! Ow.
626
00:47:30,223 --> 00:47:32,349
FRANK: I had to get
a message to Police Squad.
627
00:47:32,433 --> 00:47:35,477
This was more than I could handle.
628
00:47:35,561 --> 00:47:37,812
No phone, miles from civilisation,
629
00:47:37,897 --> 00:47:40,732
my prospects look bleaker
than a gerbil's in a bathhouse.
630
00:47:40,816 --> 00:47:44,986
Who's down there? Slasher.
631
00:47:45,780 --> 00:47:47,197
Have you seen my pigeon?
632
00:47:48,616 --> 00:47:53,119
- Pigeon? What pigeon?
- What are you doing?
633
00:47:53,204 --> 00:47:57,499
I'm just contemplating my next move.
634
00:47:57,583 --> 00:47:59,960
Your bishop is exposed.
635
00:48:00,044 --> 00:48:03,880
It's these pants.
I usually wear a fuller cut.
636
00:48:03,965 --> 00:48:07,050
You're all man. I like that in my men.
637
00:48:07,134 --> 00:48:10,053
You're coming on to me big-time, sister,
638
00:48:10,137 --> 00:48:12,138
but we got a problem.
639
00:48:12,223 --> 00:48:16,309
- You're Jewish?
- No. You're Rocco's girl.
640
00:48:16,394 --> 00:48:20,605
In my book, that chapter's
called "Look, But Don't Touch".
641
00:48:22,608 --> 00:48:24,651
I could have two lovers.
642
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:29,990
Kinky. But I like my sex
the way I play basketball,
643
00:48:30,074 --> 00:48:32,659
one-on-one,
with as little dribbling as possible.
644
00:48:40,626 --> 00:48:43,753
Oh, you're tense, Slasher.
645
00:48:44,797 --> 00:48:48,216
Well, I could relax more
if I knew about tomorrow.
646
00:48:48,301 --> 00:48:51,595
You wouldn't know anything
about that, would you?
647
00:48:51,679 --> 00:48:56,266
All I know is it's downtown and big.
648
00:48:56,350 --> 00:48:58,643
That's the way I like it.
649
00:48:59,937 --> 00:49:03,064
- What else?
- Just this.
650
00:49:06,944 --> 00:49:08,069
What are you doing?
651
00:49:09,113 --> 00:49:12,782
Thank you for the advice.
I'll try that recipe, Miss Peters.
652
00:49:12,867 --> 00:49:14,242
How could you?
653
00:49:14,327 --> 00:49:16,786
Just shove your tongue in
as far as you can.
654
00:49:16,954 --> 00:49:17,954
Oh!
655
00:49:19,874 --> 00:49:21,958
Quiet. You don't know me here.
656
00:49:22,043 --> 00:49:24,127
That's a goodbye kiss, sister.
657
00:49:24,211 --> 00:49:26,379
What's all this? Who's the skirt?
658
00:49:26,464 --> 00:49:31,259
Just some dizzy dame. Probably broke
down. I'll take her to the bus depot.
659
00:49:31,344 --> 00:49:35,472
Hey, she's married.
What if her husband comes looking?
660
00:49:35,556 --> 00:49:38,099
- He must be a great guy.
- He breaks promises.
661
00:49:38,184 --> 00:49:41,394
Look at you, traipsing all over,
just to spite him.
662
00:49:41,479 --> 00:49:43,480
- He left me.
- You left him.
663
00:49:43,564 --> 00:49:45,899
- You should talk.
- Listen to you.
664
00:49:46,067 --> 00:49:47,609
- Listen to you.
- Listen to you.
665
00:49:47,693 --> 00:49:49,402
- Listen to you!
- Listen to you!
666
00:49:49,904 --> 00:49:52,072
Jeez, you two, knock it off!
667
00:49:52,156 --> 00:49:55,116
- You'd think you're married!
- What'll we do with her?
668
00:49:55,201 --> 00:49:58,787
One thing's for sure.
There's no room for her here.
669
00:49:58,871 --> 00:50:02,332
- I say we bump her off.
- Let's plug her here.
670
00:50:02,416 --> 00:50:06,294
I've been on a job where I'd have
given my eye teeth for a hostage.
671
00:50:06,379 --> 00:50:09,005
We know women
make the best hostages.
672
00:50:09,090 --> 00:50:12,175
They're small, easy to move,
eat less, smell nice.
673
00:50:12,259 --> 00:50:15,762
Yeah, we got us an insurance policy.
674
00:50:15,846 --> 00:50:19,349
Good thinking, kid.
Now, let's get some shuteye.
675
00:50:19,433 --> 00:50:20,892
We got a big day ahead of us.
676
00:50:28,067 --> 00:50:29,567
All right, it's rigged.
677
00:50:29,652 --> 00:50:33,196
Watch the tower, Slasher.
This is what'll happen tonight.
678
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:35,240
Hey, aren't we far away?
679
00:50:35,950 --> 00:50:36,950
Oh!
680
00:50:37,952 --> 00:50:39,536
ROCCO: All right, pay attention.
681
00:50:39,620 --> 00:50:43,665
On that tower's a device
that's gonna net us 5 million bucks.
682
00:50:43,749 --> 00:50:46,835
We're gonna detonate it this evening
683
00:50:46,919 --> 00:50:49,379
at an event that the whole world
will be watching.
684
00:50:49,463 --> 00:50:53,800
- Your crowning achievement.
- It's for both of us, Ma. All set!
685
00:50:53,884 --> 00:50:55,385
Set!
686
00:51:17,992 --> 00:51:19,659
Very impressive.
687
00:51:19,785 --> 00:51:24,748
Heh-heh-heh-heh. Cool.
688
00:51:30,671 --> 00:51:34,215
America will be brought to its knees
by this terrorist act.
689
00:51:34,300 --> 00:51:38,428
This will be more embarrassing
to the US than Tonya Harding.
690
00:51:38,512 --> 00:51:42,599
We're almost there. I don't wanna
miss this. Regards to Mrs Qaddafi.
691
00:51:42,683 --> 00:51:44,601
Tell her thanks for the cookies.
692
00:51:47,438 --> 00:51:49,522
PA: It's a beautiful night in Los Angeles,
693
00:51:49,607 --> 00:51:54,319
and the stars are shining bright
for the 66th Academy Awards.
694
00:51:54,445 --> 00:51:58,782
Fans are clamouring to see
their favourite celebrities.
695
00:51:58,866 --> 00:52:01,743
It's Weird Al Yankovic and Vanna White.
696
00:52:13,714 --> 00:52:18,218
Put the dame in the trunk. I'll meet
you and Ma round back in 10 minutes.
697
00:52:19,303 --> 00:52:20,553
Got the passes?
698
00:52:21,847 --> 00:52:23,807
If we pull this off, it's 5 million big ones.
699
00:52:23,891 --> 00:52:25,391
Not bad!
700
00:52:25,476 --> 00:52:28,436
- What's going to happen to me?
- I have an idea.
701
00:52:28,521 --> 00:52:31,397
Right, Slasher. You know what to do.
702
00:52:31,524 --> 00:52:33,608
Check the tyres and fluid levels.
703
00:52:33,692 --> 00:52:38,530
No, you muffin head, the dame.
We hit trouble, she's a bullet shield.
704
00:52:42,576 --> 00:52:47,080
PA: Ladies and gentlemen, to present
the lifetime achievement award...
705
00:52:47,164 --> 00:52:50,667
Roll tape. Go to clip. Aspirin, please.
706
00:52:50,751 --> 00:52:52,877
Go to three. Ready, four.
707
00:52:54,713 --> 00:52:57,423
This year's lifetime achievement
award winner's credits
708
00:52:57,508 --> 00:53:00,677
include some of the greatest moments
on celluloid.
709
00:53:00,761 --> 00:53:04,848
Films such as
Sandals And Loincloth, 1958,
710
00:53:04,932 --> 00:53:07,684
Sweaty Boatmen, 1959,
711
00:53:07,768 --> 00:53:10,144
The Leather-clad Centurion, 1960,
712
00:53:10,229 --> 00:53:13,690
and his first colour feature in 1966,
713
00:53:13,774 --> 00:53:16,025
Big Shiny Spears.
714
00:53:21,949 --> 00:53:25,034
Okay, there's the man
from Bryce Porterhouse.
715
00:53:25,119 --> 00:53:30,290
He guards the envelopes until
they're handed out. He won't budge.
716
00:53:30,374 --> 00:53:33,877
You know what to do.
Distract him so I can plant the bomb.
717
00:53:33,961 --> 00:53:38,256
PA: Accepting the award for Mr
Broncowitz is Margaret Redfeather.
718
00:53:55,941 --> 00:53:57,275
That ought to do it.
719
00:53:58,152 --> 00:53:59,736
You'll never get away with this.
720
00:53:59,820 --> 00:54:02,155
Rocco will kill you, whoever you are.
721
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:04,198
Frank Drebin, Police Squad.
722
00:54:04,283 --> 00:54:07,410
- Isn't that a unusual?
- It's happened before.
723
00:54:07,494 --> 00:54:09,746
- Here's the plan.
- You'll never stop Rocco.
724
00:54:09,830 --> 00:54:13,374
- Your chances are one in a million.
- Better than any state lottery.
725
00:54:13,459 --> 00:54:16,669
I'm the good guy.
I can't let the bad guys win.
726
00:54:16,754 --> 00:54:18,379
Our children can't be raised in fear.
727
00:54:18,464 --> 00:54:21,758
They're going to blow
that place sky high.
728
00:54:21,842 --> 00:54:24,844
It'll be a tragedy.
Unless it's during a dance number.
729
00:54:24,929 --> 00:54:26,512
Come on.
730
00:54:43,572 --> 00:54:44,781
Does that radio work?
731
00:54:51,080 --> 00:54:53,539
Call Police Squad.
Tell them Frank Drebin...
732
00:55:00,589 --> 00:55:01,714
Forget it.
733
00:55:03,509 --> 00:55:06,302
I wonder what the devil he wanted?
734
00:55:11,558 --> 00:55:14,769
- Hold on.
- Frank Drebin, Police Squad.
735
00:55:14,853 --> 00:55:18,648
- Yeah, and I'm Robert de Niro.
- Mr de Niro, we must get inside.
736
00:55:18,732 --> 00:55:21,734
You and 10,000 other people.
Move along.
737
00:55:21,819 --> 00:55:24,445
- Movie stars only.
- Come on.
738
00:55:25,072 --> 00:55:26,572
I've got a better idea.
739
00:55:26,824 --> 00:55:28,449
Cue talent.
740
00:55:28,534 --> 00:55:31,411
PA: To present the award
for best supporting actress,
741
00:55:31,495 --> 00:55:34,998
Mariel Hemingway and Elliott Gould.
742
00:55:44,258 --> 00:55:46,092
Thank you.
743
00:55:46,176 --> 00:55:49,262
The nominees
for best supporting actress are,
744
00:55:49,346 --> 00:55:51,681
Mary Lou Retton, Fatal Affair.
745
00:55:51,765 --> 00:55:55,184
One woman's ordeal
to overcome the death of her cat,
746
00:55:55,269 --> 00:55:58,104
set against the background
of the Hindenburg disaster.
747
00:56:04,069 --> 00:56:06,696
Morgan Fairchild, Final Proposal.
748
00:56:06,780 --> 00:56:11,034
One courageous pioneer woman's
triumphant victory over bulimia,
749
00:56:11,118 --> 00:56:13,619
set during the Donner Party crossing.
750
00:56:32,014 --> 00:56:34,599
Sorry about this,
but it's official police business.
751
00:56:37,770 --> 00:56:40,063
Shannen Doherty, Basic Analysis.
752
00:56:40,147 --> 00:56:42,648
One woman's triumph
over a yeast infection,
753
00:56:42,733 --> 00:56:46,944
set against the background of the
tragic Buffalo Bills' season of 1991.
754
00:56:57,331 --> 00:56:59,248
Thank you, Sheriff.
755
00:56:59,333 --> 00:57:02,001
Still no word of Frank or Rocco's gang.
756
00:57:02,086 --> 00:57:04,837
I'm worried.
He should have called by now.
757
00:57:16,975 --> 00:57:19,018
Let me just check your tickets.
758
00:57:19,103 --> 00:57:21,938
- Lovely gown. Is that Cool Whip?
- Uh-huh.
759
00:57:22,022 --> 00:57:25,566
Tim and Erica Brown.
Okay, enjoy the show.
760
00:57:25,651 --> 00:57:28,444
Let's see, Vanna White
and Weird Al Yankovic.
761
00:57:28,529 --> 00:57:31,823
Okay, enjoy the awards.
762
00:57:32,533 --> 00:57:34,033
And three.
763
00:57:34,118 --> 00:57:37,120
And Florence Henderson,
Analysis Of A Proposal.
764
00:57:38,205 --> 00:57:41,541
- Rocco could be anywhere.
- Where could the bomb be?
765
00:57:41,625 --> 00:57:44,877
- The winner is...
- This is going to be dynamite.
766
00:57:44,962 --> 00:57:48,131
- Jane!
- Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
767
00:57:48,215 --> 00:57:50,800
FRANK: Florence Henderson
is going to win!
768
00:57:50,884 --> 00:57:54,762
- No! The bomb's in the envelope.
- You're right!
769
00:57:54,847 --> 00:57:57,181
And the winner is...
770
00:57:57,266 --> 00:57:58,307
Argh!
771
00:57:58,392 --> 00:58:00,768
Mary Lou Retton for Fatal Affair.
772
00:58:00,853 --> 00:58:03,563
Yes! Yes!
773
00:58:04,231 --> 00:58:06,816
Sorry. We were rooting
for Florence Henderson.
774
00:58:06,900 --> 00:58:10,236
We must get those envelopes
before they open any more.
775
00:58:13,907 --> 00:58:15,366
Yes!
776
00:58:19,329 --> 00:58:20,830
I never realised there'd be so many.
777
00:58:20,914 --> 00:58:23,166
They added 75 new categories.
778
00:58:23,250 --> 00:58:25,751
"Best actor in a Columbus movie"?
779
00:58:25,836 --> 00:58:29,172
PA: To present the award
for best director,
780
00:58:29,256 --> 00:58:34,135
Raquel Welch and the host of
his own talk show, Phil Donahue.
781
00:58:34,219 --> 00:58:37,930
That might be the envelope
with the bomb. Keep looking.
782
00:58:38,015 --> 00:58:40,099
One more second, Mr Donahue.
783
00:58:56,241 --> 00:58:58,951
Oh, my God! Look at Donahue!
784
00:59:06,418 --> 00:59:08,502
DIRECTOR: Stop the stairs, Joey!
785
00:59:10,714 --> 00:59:12,131
Thank you.
786
00:59:12,216 --> 00:59:15,635
Ladies and gentlemen,
it's my pleasure to present...
787
00:59:21,475 --> 00:59:22,934
What the hell?
788
00:59:25,646 --> 00:59:28,022
- RAQUEL: Jesus!
- Go to commercial.
789
00:59:28,106 --> 00:59:32,068
Easy, now. Talk to me.
What happened, Ma?
790
00:59:32,152 --> 00:59:35,488
Slasher is Frank Drebin of Police Squad.
791
00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:38,157
That lousy, two-bit, copper punk!
792
00:59:38,242 --> 00:59:41,911
I treat him like my brother,
the one I didn't kill.
793
00:59:41,995 --> 00:59:44,664
- He might find the bomb.
- Not if I find him first.
794
00:59:46,291 --> 00:59:48,417
PA: Back from commercial
in five seconds.
795
00:59:48,502 --> 00:59:51,170
Hurry with the mike and cue Donahue.
796
00:59:54,341 --> 00:59:56,467
Read the card, moron.
797
00:59:59,304 --> 01:00:04,100
"Well, Raquel, this certainly
is a special evening. Phew!"
798
01:00:04,184 --> 01:00:07,895
"I can barely catch my breath.
Turn it over to Raquel."
799
01:00:07,980 --> 01:00:10,564
"I'm used to being out of breath..."
800
01:00:10,649 --> 01:00:12,108
What the hell?
801
01:00:12,192 --> 01:00:15,278
"Hold for laughter and applause. To Phil."
802
01:00:15,362 --> 01:00:18,781
"Gets me out of breath just watching.
To Raquel..."
803
01:00:18,865 --> 01:00:20,449
I read that.
804
01:00:20,534 --> 01:00:24,704
"But let's get to the subject
at hand. Pick up the envelope."
805
01:00:24,788 --> 01:00:27,623
The nominees for best director are...
806
01:00:27,708 --> 01:00:30,626
Sir Richard Attenborough for his musical
807
01:00:30,711 --> 01:00:34,255
on the life of Mother Teresa, Mother.
808
01:00:34,464 --> 01:00:35,548
Food! I love food
809
01:00:35,716 --> 01:00:36,966
And I'm really in the mood
810
01:00:37,050 --> 01:00:38,843
For a big corn dog or pupu platter
811
01:00:38,927 --> 01:00:41,595
Two ding-dongs,
have some tuna helper
812
01:00:41,722 --> 01:00:43,264
I'll be racing back for more
813
01:00:43,515 --> 01:00:46,559
But don't add any salsa
cos I'll blow chunks on the floor
814
01:00:46,893 --> 01:00:47,393
Ooh
815
01:00:52,691 --> 01:00:54,025
Yahoo
816
01:00:55,861 --> 01:00:59,238
Spike Lee, X II, The Merchandising.
817
01:00:59,489 --> 01:01:03,993
Nordberg, look!
That's Frank at the Academy Awards.
818
01:01:04,077 --> 01:01:06,245
- How'd he get tickets?
- Nordberg!
819
01:01:06,538 --> 01:01:09,749
That's where Rocco
is going to strike next.
820
01:01:09,833 --> 01:01:12,126
He's planning to blow up
the Academy Awards.
821
01:01:12,210 --> 01:01:15,755
- We've got to go.
- We're not invited. We're cops.
822
01:01:17,758 --> 01:01:19,216
It's for you.
823
01:01:19,885 --> 01:01:24,180
Nordberg, Police Squad. Hello? Hello?
824
01:01:25,807 --> 01:01:28,517
Henderson, see about this phone.
I think it's broke.
825
01:01:31,063 --> 01:01:34,023
RADIO: And now, today's
lucky lotto numbers.
826
01:01:34,107 --> 01:01:39,236
Get your tickets ready,
12, 22, 18, and 9.
827
01:01:40,781 --> 01:01:45,284
And for his tale of genetics gone
haywire in a retirement community,
828
01:01:45,369 --> 01:01:48,913
Steven Spielberg, Geriatric Park.
829
01:02:09,893 --> 01:02:12,061
The winner is...
830
01:02:13,730 --> 01:02:16,899
Raquel, just a second.
I just had a thought.
831
01:02:16,983 --> 01:02:18,401
Christ!
832
01:02:18,485 --> 01:02:21,654
This show is being seen
all over the world.
833
01:02:21,738 --> 01:02:23,572
If we could send good thoughts,
834
01:02:23,657 --> 01:02:27,243
transmit them through these cameras,
to the leader of China.
835
01:02:27,327 --> 01:02:29,995
Wing Wa Woo Tong,
836
01:02:30,080 --> 01:02:33,582
so that they might finally be nice.
837
01:02:33,667 --> 01:02:35,793
Thank you.
838
01:02:37,295 --> 01:02:39,672
And the winner is...
839
01:02:39,756 --> 01:02:43,843
Raquel, so many
go to bed hungry in this nation.
840
01:02:43,927 --> 01:02:45,719
Yet, cat food's full of tuna.
841
01:02:45,804 --> 01:02:48,264
I can't help thinking
each time I go to the zoo
842
01:02:48,348 --> 01:02:51,559
and see those porpoises
crammed into tiny tanks,
843
01:02:51,643 --> 01:02:53,686
what a waste that is.
844
01:02:53,770 --> 01:02:55,771
Butcher half of them now.
845
01:02:55,856 --> 01:02:59,525
Hundreds of pounds of dolphin meat
that could be fed to cats,
846
01:02:59,609 --> 01:03:03,446
freeing up that tuna
for our nation's hungry.
847
01:03:09,202 --> 01:03:13,038
- And the winner is...
- So many are cold,
848
01:03:13,123 --> 01:03:15,458
shivering in the night.
849
01:03:15,542 --> 01:03:17,877
I say take those cats and skin them.
850
01:03:17,961 --> 01:03:21,797
Use their fur to keep hundreds warm.
851
01:03:21,882 --> 01:03:23,966
Jesus, Phil!
852
01:03:24,050 --> 01:03:26,135
And the winner is...
853
01:03:35,937 --> 01:03:37,229
Give me that!
854
01:03:38,315 --> 01:03:39,315
Ohh!
855
01:03:45,238 --> 01:03:47,490
- Not one move.
- That barrel's cold.
856
01:03:47,574 --> 01:03:49,325
It's room temperature.
857
01:03:51,077 --> 01:03:54,038
It's okay. It's not the bomb.
858
01:04:02,631 --> 01:04:05,132
Jane?
859
01:04:09,095 --> 01:04:10,095
Jane?
860
01:04:13,266 --> 01:04:15,309
- Silver hair.
- About 6'2".
861
01:04:15,393 --> 01:04:17,353
Looked like Phil Donahue.
862
01:04:18,188 --> 01:04:20,189
- That's the guy!
- Get him!
863
01:04:23,026 --> 01:04:24,944
PA: Ladies and gentlemen,
864
01:04:25,028 --> 01:04:28,572
please welcome internationally
renowned singing star, Pia Zadora.
865
01:04:29,282 --> 01:04:31,492
You're walkin' along the street
866
01:04:31,576 --> 01:04:32,868
Or you're at a party...
867
01:04:32,953 --> 01:04:35,454
There he is! Stop him.
868
01:04:36,540 --> 01:04:39,708
Excuse me. Isn't that snot on your shoe?
869
01:04:41,211 --> 01:04:43,921
MAN: I'll stay here. You check the wings.
870
01:04:44,047 --> 01:04:46,966
...that this could be
the start of somethin' big...
871
01:04:48,802 --> 01:04:52,304
Oh, no! Not him again? Please, God.
872
01:04:52,847 --> 01:04:56,308
Who knows what's written
in that magic book?
873
01:04:57,727 --> 01:05:00,020
But when a lover you discover
874
01:05:00,230 --> 01:05:01,814
At the gate, my friend
875
01:05:02,315 --> 01:05:06,277
Invite him in
without a second look
876
01:05:06,528 --> 01:05:08,571
You're watchin' the sun come up
877
01:05:09,322 --> 01:05:10,322
Or countin' your...
878
01:05:51,114 --> 01:05:52,823
Grab him!
879
01:06:03,043 --> 01:06:06,128
I'm Ed Hocken. This is Officer Nordberg.
880
01:06:06,212 --> 01:06:09,632
- We're here to prevent a disaster.
- You're too late.
881
01:06:13,803 --> 01:06:15,804
You're watchin' the sun...
882
01:06:16,389 --> 01:06:17,389
Frank!
883
01:06:17,474 --> 01:06:20,225
Or countin' your money
884
01:06:20,852 --> 01:06:24,438
Or else in a dim cafe
885
01:06:24,731 --> 01:06:27,900
You're orderin' wine
886
01:06:28,193 --> 01:06:30,736
Then suddenly there he is
887
01:06:30,862 --> 01:06:32,988
You want to be where he is...
888
01:06:33,073 --> 01:06:35,699
Come on, Nordberg.
We've got to get Frank.
889
01:06:35,909 --> 01:06:37,201
...the start of somethin'
890
01:06:37,410 --> 01:06:39,828
This could be
the heart of somethin'
891
01:06:39,913 --> 01:06:42,247
This could be
the start of somethin'
892
01:06:42,957 --> 01:06:43,457
Big
893
01:06:57,514 --> 01:06:58,514
Ohh!
894
01:07:06,898 --> 01:07:07,398
Jane!
895
01:07:16,950 --> 01:07:20,828
I knew I'd bump into you.
I want answers, cherry cakes.
896
01:07:20,912 --> 01:07:22,663
- I love you.
- Wrong answer.
897
01:07:22,747 --> 01:07:25,332
I dropped out of the
sap of the month club.
898
01:07:25,417 --> 01:07:28,210
Listen, you've got one last chance.
899
01:07:28,294 --> 01:07:32,381
And I don't mean a major league
baseball Steve Howe last chance.
900
01:07:32,465 --> 01:07:35,300
- Where is Jane?
- I don't know.
901
01:07:35,385 --> 01:07:38,387
- Where's the bomb?
- In the Best Picture envelope.
902
01:07:38,471 --> 01:07:41,515
Mr Drebin, I want to go straight.
903
01:07:41,599 --> 01:07:44,226
I'm tired of the lies.
904
01:07:44,310 --> 01:07:48,188
Kiss me. Please kiss me.
905
01:07:48,273 --> 01:07:52,151
I've never kissed lips so innocent,
so pure.
906
01:08:13,006 --> 01:08:15,507
He looked like Phil Donahue,
white hair...
907
01:08:16,259 --> 01:08:18,677
- That's the guy!
- I'll get him.
908
01:08:19,512 --> 01:08:22,139
PA: Ladies and gentlemen,
to present the Best Picture award,
909
01:08:22,223 --> 01:08:24,516
two most distinguished actors,
910
01:08:24,601 --> 01:08:27,686
Olympia Dukakis and James Earl Jones.
911
01:08:35,737 --> 01:08:37,362
Lord, what's that?
912
01:08:37,447 --> 01:08:40,449
Looks like Phil Donahue
throwing up in a tuba.
913
01:08:40,533 --> 01:08:44,578
I don't think we should have
Phil Donahue back next year.
914
01:08:44,662 --> 01:08:46,914
Thank you. Good evening.
915
01:08:46,998 --> 01:08:51,210
It's a privilege for us
to present the final award...
916
01:08:51,294 --> 01:08:55,464
We've been worried about you.
Where's Rocco? Where's Tanya?
917
01:08:55,548 --> 01:08:58,801
- Sit down. Take it easy.
- Thank God you're all right.
918
01:08:58,885 --> 01:09:03,472
Indecent Instincts
and Sawdust And Mildew.
919
01:09:03,556 --> 01:09:07,976
Every one of these movies
was a box office hit, except for one.
920
01:09:08,061 --> 01:09:10,145
- What's that?
- The Best Picture award.
921
01:09:10,230 --> 01:09:12,314
My money's on Sawdust And Mildew.
922
01:09:12,398 --> 01:09:14,483
Olympia, would you do the honours?
923
01:09:14,567 --> 01:09:17,402
Oh, my God! That's the one!
924
01:09:17,487 --> 01:09:21,281
The award for this year's
Best Picture goes to...
925
01:09:21,366 --> 01:09:22,533
Wait!
926
01:09:22,742 --> 01:09:23,742
Oh!
927
01:09:23,827 --> 01:09:26,995
Sorry about this.
Loved you in Coneheads. You, too.
928
01:09:27,080 --> 01:09:29,081
Let me open this.
929
01:09:32,669 --> 01:09:34,086
It's the bomb!
930
01:09:45,223 --> 01:09:47,266
Freeze and nobody gets hurt!
931
01:09:49,602 --> 01:09:51,937
Well, from now on.
932
01:09:52,021 --> 01:09:55,023
Back in your seats, you little weasels!
933
01:09:55,108 --> 01:09:56,859
This programme's been interrupted.
934
01:09:56,943 --> 01:09:58,861
Don't panic. Stay with it.
935
01:09:58,945 --> 01:10:00,946
Camera 2, move in on the old lady.
936
01:10:01,030 --> 01:10:02,865
Better move back.
937
01:10:02,949 --> 01:10:06,535
- Don't move!
- MA: Now, pay attention!
938
01:10:06,619 --> 01:10:09,705
I don't want to kill nobody
unless I have to.
939
01:10:09,789 --> 01:10:12,749
Drop your guns and kick them over here.
940
01:10:17,046 --> 01:10:20,883
That bomb belongs to me.
Hand it over, Drebin.
941
01:10:20,967 --> 01:10:22,885
You want to kill him, Ma?
942
01:10:24,304 --> 01:10:26,096
Blink and I start shooting.
943
01:10:32,937 --> 01:10:34,980
FRANK: Give me that gun!
944
01:10:35,899 --> 01:10:39,610
- Oh, my God!
- I'm not falling for that, sister.
945
01:10:44,949 --> 01:10:49,119
I'm not well! Get this stupid thing off me!
946
01:10:50,830 --> 01:10:52,664
Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!
947
01:10:54,876 --> 01:10:57,002
- Ma!
- She's a goner, Rocco.
948
01:10:57,170 --> 01:10:59,755
Dead. Then that's it.
949
01:10:59,839 --> 01:11:01,965
I'm coming with you, Ma!
950
01:11:03,426 --> 01:11:06,345
Pull out the bomb or I'll shoot the dame.
951
01:11:06,429 --> 01:11:09,139
All right. I'll do what you say.
952
01:11:09,349 --> 01:11:11,183
- Frank!
- Don't harm her.
953
01:11:11,684 --> 01:11:14,853
You pull out the bomb
and you'll kill me anyway.
954
01:11:14,938 --> 01:11:17,397
- Yeah. No dice!
- Then I'll plug her.
955
01:11:17,482 --> 01:11:21,109
- Shoot her, I'll empty the envelope.
- Frank, think about it.
956
01:11:21,194 --> 01:11:23,570
It's all right. You'll be dead.
957
01:11:23,655 --> 01:11:25,697
Then you'll kill everyone here.
958
01:11:25,782 --> 01:11:27,616
Yeah.
959
01:11:27,700 --> 01:11:29,868
I'll shoot if you don't do as I say.
960
01:11:30,036 --> 01:11:31,036
Jane?
961
01:11:31,204 --> 01:11:33,288
I'd be safe, so would everyone else.
962
01:11:33,373 --> 01:11:36,458
- But you'd be dead.
- This is complicated, Rocco.
963
01:11:37,794 --> 01:11:42,464
Logically, you're psychotic, so you
have the envelope, I'll have the gun.
964
01:11:42,674 --> 01:11:44,675
- Frank!
- I know what I'm doing.
965
01:11:52,058 --> 01:11:53,517
All right!
966
01:11:55,561 --> 01:12:00,148
Here's your Best Picture! In front
of the world, this place is going up.
967
01:12:00,233 --> 01:12:03,402
Well, if I'm going out,
I'm going out happy.
968
01:12:04,821 --> 01:12:09,408
Wait. Before we're all blown up, can
I get my underwear out of my crack?
969
01:12:10,326 --> 01:12:13,161
- I got to go comfortable.
- Okay, but that's it.
970
01:12:16,749 --> 01:12:20,544
- Give it up, Rocco. You're history.
- Look, George Hamilton!
971
01:12:23,965 --> 01:12:25,424
Come and get me, Drebin!
972
01:12:28,386 --> 01:12:29,594
Throw me a gun!
973
01:12:29,679 --> 01:12:31,513
Get rid of the bomb!
974
01:12:31,597 --> 01:12:34,099
Hold on, sweetheart.
975
01:12:35,768 --> 01:12:37,394
Frank, help!
976
01:12:37,729 --> 01:12:39,354
- Frank.
- I know what I'm doing.
977
01:12:42,900 --> 01:12:45,360
JANE: I hate heights!
978
01:12:45,445 --> 01:12:47,112
Ohh! Oh, no!
979
01:12:48,156 --> 01:12:49,698
Move it, sister!
980
01:12:52,035 --> 01:12:53,952
Screw the commercials!
981
01:12:54,037 --> 01:12:56,621
All right, copper, you killed my ma!
982
01:12:56,706 --> 01:12:58,707
I'm taking the dame away from you.
983
01:12:59,584 --> 01:13:03,670
You hear me, copper?
One push and Mrs Drebin is linoleum.
984
01:13:03,755 --> 01:13:06,840
Get a camera up there.
This could be my best work.
985
01:13:06,924 --> 01:13:09,342
Any last words before I throw you off?
986
01:13:09,427 --> 01:13:12,888
- Yes. Don't do it.
- Anything else?
987
01:13:13,473 --> 01:13:15,724
Frank, I love you.
988
01:13:15,808 --> 01:13:18,727
I want the world to know
you're the perfect man.
989
01:13:18,811 --> 01:13:20,979
Frank, I hope you can hear me.
990
01:13:21,064 --> 01:13:22,689
They said I couldn't do drama.
991
01:13:22,774 --> 01:13:26,651
I was wrong. Taking you away
from Police Squad was a mistake.
992
01:13:26,736 --> 01:13:30,280
I know now that's why you
couldn't perform decent sex.
993
01:13:31,657 --> 01:13:34,659
I realise that now, and other things.
994
01:13:34,744 --> 01:13:36,995
Everything's under control.
995
01:13:37,080 --> 01:13:40,832
Nobody move!
Any vibration may set this thing off.
996
01:13:42,418 --> 01:13:46,588
Frank, I've learned my lesson.
And though it may be too late for me,
997
01:13:46,672 --> 01:13:50,383
I want all you ladies
to remember something.
998
01:13:50,468 --> 01:13:52,928
Don't ever take your men for granted,
999
01:13:53,012 --> 01:13:56,264
because good men
don't just fall out of the sky.
1000
01:13:56,808 --> 01:13:57,808
Aah!
1001
01:14:01,270 --> 01:14:04,022
He's caught up in the cable!
Do something!
1002
01:14:15,368 --> 01:14:16,993
I'm coming, Ma!
1003
01:14:21,165 --> 01:14:22,165
Rocco?
1004
01:14:23,334 --> 01:14:24,709
Papshmir?
1005
01:14:37,598 --> 01:14:38,640
Jane...
1006
01:14:38,724 --> 01:14:42,310
- I never want us to be apart again.
- Oh, Frank!
1007
01:14:42,395 --> 01:14:45,897
You like me. You really like me!
1008
01:15:05,918 --> 01:15:08,795
- Frank, slow down!
- Hurry up!
1009
01:15:09,172 --> 01:15:10,630
Relax. There's time.
1010
01:15:10,715 --> 01:15:12,924
- You got the camcorder?
- Here. Which room?
1011
01:15:13,009 --> 01:15:15,927
Delivery room. This must be it.
1012
01:15:16,596 --> 01:15:19,764
Jane, I'm here. Frank is here.
1013
01:15:19,849 --> 01:15:21,641
Push! Here it comes now.
1014
01:15:21,726 --> 01:15:24,186
Breathe, honey. Breathe, Jane.
1015
01:15:24,270 --> 01:15:26,188
One more push. That's it.
1016
01:15:26,272 --> 01:15:28,773
Congratulations, Dad. It's a boy!
1017
01:15:32,278 --> 01:15:33,278
Nordberg!
1018
01:15:33,571 --> 01:15:35,530
You come back here!
1019
01:15:35,615 --> 01:15:39,117
- Frank, it's a boy.
- I know!
1020
01:20:06,760 --> 01:20:09,053
You're walkin' along the street
1021
01:20:09,305 --> 01:20:11,306
Or you're at a party
1022
01:20:11,599 --> 01:20:15,477
Or else you're alone
and then you suddenly dig
1023
01:20:16,103 --> 01:20:18,730
You're lookin' in someone's eyes
1024
01:20:18,898 --> 01:20:20,940
You suddenly realise
1025
01:20:21,442 --> 01:20:24,652
That this could be
the start of somethin' big
1026
01:20:25,613 --> 01:20:29,991
There's no controllin' the
unrollin' of your fate, my friend
1027
01:20:30,326 --> 01:20:34,162
Who knows what's written
in that magic book?
1028
01:20:35,247 --> 01:20:37,540
But when a lover you discover
1029
01:20:37,833 --> 01:20:39,584
At the gate, my friend
1030
01:20:39,960 --> 01:20:43,838
Invite him in
without a second look
1031
01:20:44,215 --> 01:20:46,382
You're watchin' the sun come up
1032
01:20:46,592 --> 01:20:48,801
Or countin' your money
1033
01:20:48,969 --> 01:20:51,179
Or else in a dim cafe
1034
01:20:51,263 --> 01:20:53,431
You're orderin' wine
1035
01:20:53,557 --> 01:20:55,850
Then suddenly, there he is
1036
01:20:56,018 --> 01:20:58,603
You want to be where he is
1037
01:20:58,896 --> 01:21:01,564
And this must be
the start of somethin'
1038
01:21:01,774 --> 01:21:03,900
This could be
the heart of somethin'
1039
01:21:04,151 --> 01:21:06,945
This could be
the start of somethin' big
1040
01:21:26,924 --> 01:21:30,301
You're watchin' the sun come up
1041
01:21:30,553 --> 01:21:33,972
Or countin' your money
1042
01:21:34,098 --> 01:21:37,809
Or else in a dim cafe
1043
01:21:37,977 --> 01:21:40,812
You're orderin' wine
1044
01:21:41,313 --> 01:21:44,065
Then suddenly there he is
1045
01:21:44,149 --> 01:21:46,985
You want to be where he is
1046
01:21:47,319 --> 01:21:50,238
And this could be
the start of somethin'
1047
01:21:50,364 --> 01:21:52,991
This could be
the heart of somethin'
1048
01:21:53,158 --> 01:21:55,785
This could be
the start of somethin'
1049
01:21:56,120 --> 01:21:56,620
Big
1050
01:22:00,919 --> 01:22:23,919
© anoXmous font>
@ https://thepiratebay.se/user/anoXmous
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