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1
00:00:02,611 --> 00:00:04,401
[ Creepy music plays ]
2
00:00:04,395 --> 00:00:13,445
♪♪
3
00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:15,018
♪ Ghosts and goblins
4
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,535
♪ Coming for ya
5
00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:23,198
♪♪
6
00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:24,677
Alright, Porter.
Why don't you go upstairs
7
00:00:24,676 --> 00:00:26,286
and take your
diarrhea medicine.
8
00:00:26,287 --> 00:00:27,767
I'll call you when
it's time for dinner.
9
00:00:27,766 --> 00:00:30,116
-Hey.
-Alright, Beef Boys.
10
00:00:30,117 --> 00:00:33,417
It's mail time.
11
00:00:33,424 --> 00:00:38,654
[ High-pitched ]
♪ And the frightening thing
12
00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:40,687
Tim, mail's here.
13
00:00:40,692 --> 00:00:44,352
Alright. Coming.
14
00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:47,218
That's gonna be a hit.
15
00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:49,791
Oh, looks like you got
a package here, Ben Hur.
16
00:00:49,788 --> 00:00:53,268
Oh, batteries for my butt plug
and my dildos.
17
00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:55,230
Did my, uh, Sticky-Picks
come yet?
18
00:00:55,229 --> 00:00:57,449
Sorry, man, not today.
19
00:00:57,448 --> 00:00:59,358
Oh, look at this,
a community flier.
20
00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:03,153
"Attention Rimwood neighborhood,
this Saturday, open your doors
21
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:06,240
for the first annual
Open House Block Party."
22
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:09,030
Oh, that's awesome.
We could set up some appetizers
23
00:01:09,025 --> 00:01:11,325
and talk with the neighbors --
really get to know 'em.
24
00:01:11,332 --> 00:01:13,812
[ Imitates buzzer ]
I think that idea sucks.
25
00:01:13,812 --> 00:01:15,252
You know what I think
we should do?
26
00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:18,169
Turn this joint into
a smokin' haunted house.
27
00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:20,035
Who's with me?
-Alright.[ Applause ]
28
00:01:20,036 --> 00:01:22,296
Go, baby, go.
-All the way.
29
00:01:22,299 --> 00:01:24,039
Can I talk to you
for a second in private?
30
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:27,390
Ugh, fine.
31
00:01:27,391 --> 00:01:29,051
What is it?
[ Sighs ]
32
00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:31,175
Tim, you know I'm terrified
of haunted houses.
33
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:33,138
Even as a kid,
I had a spook problem.
34
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:34,616
Boys would come up
and say, "Boo!"
35
00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:37,266
and I would scream and cry,
and they'd say,
36
00:01:37,271 --> 00:01:38,711
"Oh, look at that
big, fat pussy.
37
00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:40,187
You can even handle
a boo."
38
00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:42,057
Eric, you got to get
over these fears.
39
00:01:42,058 --> 00:01:43,928
Anyway, I'm thinking about
keeping the spook levels
40
00:01:43,929 --> 00:01:45,499
on this haunted house
down to a five.
41
00:01:45,496 --> 00:01:47,366
Any chance we could go
down to four?
42
00:01:47,368 --> 00:01:49,368
I got to keep it at five,
but here's my counter offer.
43
00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:51,420
Youmake your
world-famous crab dip
44
00:01:51,415 --> 00:01:52,975
as a treat for anybody
that makes it through
45
00:01:52,982 --> 00:01:54,512
our Beef House of Horrors.
46
00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:56,285
Everyone does love
my crab dip,
47
00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:57,730
and it would kinda
take the edges off
48
00:01:57,726 --> 00:02:00,946
this spooky haunted house.Hey, Ron! Good news.
49
00:02:00,946 --> 00:02:03,506
We're turning the Beef house
into a haunted house.
50
00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:05,214
Wouldn't be too hard
to put up some cobwebs,
51
00:02:05,212 --> 00:02:06,742
a couple Goddamn spiders,
52
00:02:06,735 --> 00:02:08,425
a couple of bats,
some shit like that?
53
00:02:08,432 --> 00:02:09,962
We'll hook this place up.
54
00:02:13,742 --> 00:02:16,222
I was supposed to say,
"spook this place up."
55
00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:18,883
♪ Beef House
56
00:02:18,877 --> 00:02:20,227
♪♪
57
00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:24,447
♪ Beef House [Beef House]
58
00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:26,798
♪ Beef
59
00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:29,448
Hey, babe.
60
00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:32,413
I'm not sure if the Rimwood
Open House Block Party
61
00:02:32,413 --> 00:02:34,023
is on your radar,
but I just came
62
00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:36,553
from a pretty cool
strategy sesh downstairs,
63
00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:39,377
just the Beef boys,
and Tim imagineered the concept
64
00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:41,596
of a haunted house
through the living room.
65
00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:43,686
Uh, it's not gonna be
too scary, so don't worry,
66
00:02:43,685 --> 00:02:45,595
but we're probably gonna have
to block the entrances
67
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,990
to the stairs
for about three weeks.
68
00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:50,783
The big takeaway was Tim gave me
the green light
69
00:02:50,779 --> 00:02:52,819
to make
my world-famous crab dip.
70
00:02:52,824 --> 00:02:55,784
It's gonna be a wonderful
block party.
71
00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:58,224
Um, hello?
Earth to Megan.
[ Exhales sharply ]
72
00:02:58,221 --> 00:03:01,361
You've got
to be kidding me.
73
00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:04,445
You can see that I am deep
in research
74
00:03:04,445 --> 00:03:06,225
for tomorrow's
double homicide case,
75
00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:09,319
and you are interrupting me
about stupid crab dip!
76
00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:15,015
It's not stupid crab dip, Megan.
The Beef Boys love it.
77
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:17,150
Get this through
your thick skull.
78
00:03:17,153 --> 00:03:19,943
[ Sighs ]
I am working
and paying bills for you
79
00:03:19,938 --> 00:03:22,158
and those dumbasses
to play dress-up.
80
00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:24,808
Just get out of here,
leave me alone, please.
81
00:03:24,813 --> 00:03:27,733
Fine, I'll go get
Tim his pills and milk.
82
00:03:27,729 --> 00:03:30,299
At least heneeds me.
83
00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:31,817
Thank God for Tim.
84
00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:36,516
Go.
85
00:03:40,089 --> 00:03:41,959
Beef.
86
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,960
Alright.
Looking good.
87
00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:46,402
Hey, you know what'll kick
this shit up a notch?
88
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,490
A big-old bucket
of blood --
89
00:03:48,489 --> 00:03:49,969
smear that shit
all over the place.
90
00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:52,538
Well, wait a minute, now, Ron.
I'd made a promise to Eric
91
00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:54,886
that we wouldn't make this
haunted house too spooky.
92
00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:56,626
Okay, I'll tell you what.
93
00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:58,017
How about...
94
00:03:58,020 --> 00:04:00,410
a little bit of blood?
95
00:04:00,414 --> 00:04:03,114
You got a deal.Alright. Alright.
96
00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:05,202
I know it'll take
a Goddamn cup.
97
00:04:05,201 --> 00:04:10,341
103, 104, 105, 106, darn it.
98
00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:13,297
That's just not enough
jumbo lump crab.
99
00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:15,646
Yo, Eric, I need some corn syrup
and some red dye.
100
00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:17,426
You got any of that shit?Yeah, check up
in the cupboard.
101
00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:19,131
Alrighty.While you're up there,
102
00:04:19,128 --> 00:04:21,038
do you see any other cans
of jumbo lump crab?
103
00:04:21,043 --> 00:04:23,053
Hmm, no crab,
104
00:04:23,045 --> 00:04:24,655
but, you know,
105
00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:26,215
when your mom lived here,
106
00:04:26,222 --> 00:04:28,312
before the suicide,
107
00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:31,101
she kept a ton of that lump
crab meat down in the cellar.
108
00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:33,446
She was always prepared,
wasn't she?
109
00:04:33,447 --> 00:04:35,137
Yeah, I just wish we had been
prepared for her
110
00:04:35,144 --> 00:04:37,674
to take her own life, man.
111
00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:40,978
Why did she do it?I don't know, man.
112
00:04:40,976 --> 00:04:44,456
At least you still got
the Beef Boys.
[ Sighs ]
You're right.
113
00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:47,108
Hey, love you, man.Love you, too, so much.
114
00:04:47,112 --> 00:04:51,252
We're here for you
if you need us, okay?Thanks.
Thank you, buddy.
115
00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:53,677
Need any help
with your crab dip?[ Gasps ]
116
00:04:53,684 --> 00:04:55,994
Tennessee, you scared
the shit outta me.
117
00:04:55,991 --> 00:04:57,911
Hey, can you check
in the basement, see
if we have any more
118
00:04:57,906 --> 00:05:00,126
of this jumbo lump crab?Okay.
119
00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:02,075
[ Creepy music plays ]
120
00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:04,134
There's a presence below.
121
00:05:04,129 --> 00:05:06,829
I can't tell if it is
lump crab meat
122
00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:09,268
or something more ominous.
123
00:05:09,265 --> 00:05:11,875
I will go there now.Thanks, buddy.
124
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:16,140
There's the crab.
125
00:05:19,275 --> 00:05:20,755
Hmm, what's this?
126
00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:26,935
♪♪
127
00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:28,495
A specter.
128
00:05:28,502 --> 00:05:32,162
A real ghost
in the Beef House basement.
129
00:05:32,157 --> 00:05:33,987
Get back in here, specter.
130
00:05:33,985 --> 00:05:35,935
I have a job for you.
131
00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:42,952
I'm gonna kick this
haunted house up a notch.
132
00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:45,651
Come on,
you got to be kidding me.
133
00:05:45,649 --> 00:05:47,869
Hey, what the hell you
doing with that little
bit of mayonnaise?
134
00:05:47,869 --> 00:05:49,439
Check out this new
mayonnaise dispenser
135
00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:50,866
I installed in the fridge.
-Really?
136
00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:52,442
Just filled the Goddamn tank
this morning.
137
00:05:54,963 --> 00:05:57,533
That's a lot of tube.
138
00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:59,751
Alright. This is gonna help,
Ron, thank you.
139
00:05:59,750 --> 00:06:02,410
Alright.
Here she comes.
140
00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:05,965
Wow, that's some
fresh mayonnaise.I'm here to tell you.
141
00:06:05,974 --> 00:06:08,324
We got about 25 gallons
of that mayonnaise
142
00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:10,334
sitting in the Goddamn fridge
right now.
143
00:06:10,326 --> 00:06:12,326
We can use that for sandwiches
later in the week.
144
00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:14,898
Oh, yeah.
Oh! Oh! Oh!
145
00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:17,196
Ron, come on!
We're making a mess.Sorry about that.
146
00:06:17,202 --> 00:06:19,472
I got to adjust the pressure
settings on this bitch.
147
00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:22,767
Beef.
148
00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:25,123
Tim: Alright.
It's looking good in here.
149
00:06:25,123 --> 00:06:27,343
I think we're holding
at a spook level of five,
150
00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:28,613
just like
I promised Eric.
151
00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:30,865
To tell you the truth,
I'm worried about Boro.
152
00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:32,908
I'm worried he's gonna get
the shit spooked out of him
153
00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:36,224
and splatter all over the place,
thus ruining my hard work.
154
00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:37,481
Hey, hey, he's got
night diarrhea.
155
00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:39,794
So be sensitive to that, Ron.
Okay?
156
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:41,580
I'll make sure he
sits on the potty and
empties himself out
157
00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:43,225
before he goes in
this dang haunted house.
158
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:48,280
Beef.
159
00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:49,577
Looks good.
160
00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:53,023
[ Snorts ]
Smells good.
161
00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:55,281
Hey, Eric.
What do you think?
Ah!
162
00:06:55,284 --> 00:06:57,594
Wow, pretty cool. I
didn't know we were
all dressing up, though.
163
00:06:57,591 --> 00:06:59,811
Yeah, I'm going as
the rock star emoji.
164
00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:01,730
What are you gonna to go as?
A big, fat pussy?
165
00:07:01,725 --> 00:07:03,155
Oh, wait, you're already
in costume.
166
00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:06,821
Hey, sorry about that.
167
00:07:06,817 --> 00:07:09,037
It was over the line.It's alright.
168
00:07:09,037 --> 00:07:11,257
Crab dip
looks pretty good.Oh, thank you so much.
169
00:07:11,256 --> 00:07:13,036
I haven't quite
taste tested it yet
170
00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:14,831
'cause I don't want
to waste a bite.
171
00:07:14,825 --> 00:07:16,825
Hey, speaking of taste test,
the haunted house is ready
172
00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:19,087
if you want to take that
for a spin.
173
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:21,270
Whoa.[ Chuckles ]
You like that?
174
00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:22,616
Yeah, it's
pretty spooky, man.
175
00:07:22,616 --> 00:07:24,486
Check this shit out.[ Remote blips ]
176
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:26,527
[ Garbled singing ]Oh, cool.
Did you make that?
177
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:28,323
Yeah, it's a little
Robbie Zombie-inspired stuff
178
00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:29,967
I cooked up.
Very cool.
179
00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:32,761
Anyway, I got the spook levels
right around five,
180
00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:35,146
but honestly,
I think it's more like four.Ah.
181
00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:37,980
So you're gonna be
just fine.I appreciate you
toning it down for me.
182
00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:40,979
Okay, here I go.Go for it, buddy.
You got this.
183
00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:45,644
[ As Dracula ]
Good evening, sir.
Hello.
184
00:07:45,639 --> 00:07:48,079
Welcome to the
Beef House of Horror.
185
00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:51,246
Here I go.[ Rock music continues ]
186
00:07:51,253 --> 00:07:54,433
Wow, pretty cool.
187
00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:56,430
Boo!
188
00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:59,132
Oh, hey, Lana.Hey, Eric.
189
00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:01,700
Wow.
I'm sexy cat.
190
00:08:01,698 --> 00:08:03,658
Would you like
some eyeballs?
191
00:08:03,657 --> 00:08:05,307
Eyeballs?
[ Chuckles ]
192
00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:06,490
Pretty good, Ben.
193
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,136
Wow, this place
isn't that scary.
194
00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:13,010
[ Evil laughter ]
195
00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:15,804
This is pretty adorable --
a nice little graveyard.
196
00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:19,238
Hey, Tenny.
197
00:08:19,237 --> 00:08:21,367
Do you dare meet
the light before you?
198
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:22,630
Sure, why not?
199
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:27,812
Whoa.
What's that?
200
00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:30,121
-Oh, Eric.
-Is that you, Mom?
201
00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:33,688
Oh, your mom
is the specter.
202
00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:36,727
I've been released.
I am now free.
203
00:08:36,733 --> 00:08:38,563
[ Evil laughter ]Oh, my God, Mom.
204
00:08:38,561 --> 00:08:41,221
I have so many questions
for you.
205
00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:43,696
Why'd you take
your own life?Well, can you blame me?
206
00:08:43,697 --> 00:08:45,387
I mean, how would you feel
207
00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:49,054
if -- if you raised
a jobless, childless idiot?
208
00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:51,490
Now I got to find a body
that I can enter.
209
00:08:51,487 --> 00:08:53,047
Ah, get me out of here!
210
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:54,934
[ Screaming ]
211
00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:56,265
Haunted house canceled!
212
00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:58,194
What happened?
213
00:08:58,189 --> 00:09:00,629
Hey, hey.
Calm down.
214
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:02,627
What the hell happened
in there?
215
00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:05,019
Tennessee summoned
my dead mom,
216
00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:07,942
and she told me that I was
responsible for her suicide.
217
00:09:07,938 --> 00:09:10,508
Tennessee, W-T-F, dude?!
218
00:09:10,506 --> 00:09:13,286
What? I thought
you wanted it scary.
219
00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:14,731
Shit.
220
00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:15,948
Flew too close to the sun.
221
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:21,522
I gotta admit, Eric,
this crab dip is hella good.
222
00:09:21,517 --> 00:09:23,517
Thank you, man. I just wish
the whole neighborhood
223
00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:25,739
could've had a bite
of my world-famous crab.
224
00:09:25,739 --> 00:09:27,739
So where do you think
that ghost went anyway?
225
00:09:27,741 --> 00:09:31,091
Ron, could we please not talk
about that right now?
226
00:09:31,092 --> 00:09:32,792
Got a little bit of a tang
to it, though, doesn't it?
227
00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:34,529
Sort of in the back
of the throat?
228
00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:39,836
This damn crab is rotten.
229
00:09:41,885 --> 00:09:44,535
That can't be the case, Ron.
This is cannedcrab.
230
00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:46,110
It should last
for 100 years.
231
00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:52,677
Maybe it's your mayonnaise tube,
Ron. You ever think of that?
232
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,769
Hey, that's not the
same tube that you used
in the hot tub, is it?
233
00:09:56,987 --> 00:09:58,817
Only got one damn tube.
234
00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:12,480
I saw all of this take place
in my mind.
235
00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:15,221
That's why Tennessee don't dip.
236
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,657
[ Sighs heavily ]Are you okay?
237
00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:22,453
Just had a weird day.
[ Sighs ]
238
00:10:22,447 --> 00:10:26,227
Now I have a sour stomach
because of a tube mix-up.
239
00:10:26,234 --> 00:10:27,284
It's okay.
240
00:10:27,278 --> 00:10:30,148
I'm here for you.
241
00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:33,111
You are?
Well, I love you...
242
00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:35,500
[voice altering]
and care for you and cherish you
243
00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:37,384
and will always
take care of you.
244
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:41,025
[ Laughing ]
245
00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:42,511
Mom, are you inside
my wife?
246
00:10:42,511 --> 00:10:44,821
[ Distorted ]
Hello, son.
247
00:10:44,818 --> 00:10:50,388
[ Laughing ]
[ Screaming ]
248
00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:52,298
Tim, we have a real ghost!
249
00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:53,963
[ Screaming ]
250
00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:56,917
[ Echoing laughter ]
251
00:10:56,917 --> 00:11:00,437
♪ Ghosts and goblins
coming for ya ♪
252
00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:05,842
♪ [ Shouting ] Nooooooo
253
00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:10,759
♪ And the frightening thing
18854
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