All language subtitles for 25-S2E25 - The Colonists-eng

[ Man Narrating ] Last week, as you recall,
we left our family of space pioneers...

trying to set up a network
of radio relay stations...

unaware that even at that moment
their peaceful planet was the target...

of an incredible army
of alien invaders.

[ Sighs ]

Relay Station One to Station Two.

We should be set up
and operating within a few minutes.

Roger. We're almost done too.

Boy, once we get all
these stations set up...

we'll be able to send a signal
just about anywhere.

You have fulfilled your mission with
efficiency and dispatch, Will Robinson.

Thanks, Robot. Now if Judy and Penny can
only handle their job at their relay station.

They are intelligent
and highly trained.

I know, but you know girls.

Well, if they're as good as you say, we ought
to be getting a signal from them any minute.

Then I can relay it on
to Don and Dr. Smith.

- Okay?
- Yeah.

- Ah. Success.
- Oh, good.

- [ High-pitched Tone ]
- Hey, something's wrong.

Seriously wrong, Will Robinson.

We are receiving some kind
of alien sound wave.

I can't turn it off.

- [ High-pitched Tone ]
- Stop it! Stop it! It's destroying my eardrums!

Disconnect the battery!

[ Both Screaming ]

- John, what's wrong?
- It won't respond.

Well, can I help?

I'll try to control it
from the master system.

I sure wish I knew
what knocked it out, Robot.

I'll bet those girls
goofed it somehow.

Do not sell your sisters short,
Will Robinson.

They are not necessarily to blame.

Yeah, well, somebody
overloaded our transmitter.

Maybe it was Dad at the Jupiter.

Dad. Come in, Jupiter 2.

Your radio circuits are destroyed
beyond hope of repair, Will Robinson.

- The hypersonic blast waves have
destroyed all communication.
- What could have caused it?

Who could have caused it would be
a better question, Will Robinson.

Charred medium-well.

And by a chef who knew
exactly what he was doing.

You certainly can't blame me this time.
I had absolutely nothing to do with it.

I wouldn't put it past you, Smith.
Sabotage is your favorite sport.

How dare you, sir!
I demand an apology at once!

Outraged innocence will
get you nowhere, Smith.

All right, how did you do it?
How did you do it?

This is insufferable!
I refuse to listen to another word!

All right, Smith. Calm down.
I was only testing.

- I don't think you had anything to do with it.
- I should hope not.

You don't have the mentality.

Well, it'll take a lotta work,
but I guess it can be fixed.

You're not planning to
work on it today, I hope?

As a matter of fact, I am.

As soon as I can get in touch with the Jupiter 2
and have them send out some spare parts.

Jupiter. Jupiter 2, come in.

Come in, Jupiter 2!

Melted... like lava.

I'm beginning to feel very warm.

Major, do you see
an erupting volcano anywhere?

If I did, we wouldn't be alive
to talk about it, Smith.

I'm gonna find out what
happened to the others.

- Station three's the nearest. Let's get over there.
- On foot?

Unless you've sprouted wings
in the last few seconds. Come on.

Madness. Sheer madness.
Hiking, in the midday sun.

[ Electronic Tone ]

John, what's wrong
with these things?

I wish I knew. Every circuit in
our communication system's burned out.

You mean you can't get
in touch with the others?

No. We might as well
be on a desert island.

Well, we are on sort of a desert--
a deserted planet.

I'm not so sure about that.

What do you mean?

Well, systems like this don't
burn out or fuse simultaneously...

without our back-up systems taking over.

- You know something?
Our back-up system's burned out!
- Meaning what?

- This is all a deliberate plan of destruction.
- Deliberate?

If you're asking me what's behind it,
I'm as much in the dark about that as you are.

Well, then, I think we'd better go
and get the children.

They must realize by now
that they can't reach us by radio.

The sensible thing for them to do would be
head right back here. No, we'd better wait.

All right.
They are sensible... I hope.

It is my considered opinion,
Will Robinson...

that the sensible thing to do
is return at once to the Jupiter.

Well, I think it's just as sensible
to try and find out what caused all this.

I know what caused it, Will Robinson.

- You do? Well, why didn't you say so?
- You did not ask me.

"You did not ask me."
Well, I'm asking you now!

An electronic catastrophe
such as we experienced...

can only be produced
by hypersonic wave emissions...

from a source far more powerful
than I am equipped to compute.

That source is very close.

- Good. We'll find it and knock it out.
- Wait!

- Well?
- The source I have mentioned
may be "unknockable."

Well, we'll see. Let's go.

You are the boss, Will Robinson.

- Judy?
- Penny?

- Penny?
- Judy?

What are you, Smith,
some kind of offbeat echo?

I am merely trying to do
my share of the work, Major.

Boy, this one really got clobbered. I hope
the girls weren't too close when it blew.

[ Gasps ] What is this?
Oh, the poor dears.

Aw, Smith, don't be so morbid.

My guess is they high-tailed it back to
the Jupiter when this thing happened.

- I hope so. I sincerely hope so.
- Yeah, well, let's get over to Will's station.

Can't we assume that the same thing happened
there and make our way back to the Jupiter 2?

My feet are a disaster area.

I feel for you, Smith.
Why don't you try walking barefoot?

Barefoot, indeed.

Looks like Will and the Robot
headed back to camp too.

We could have saved ourselves
the journey if you'd listened to me.

This baby makes three.

They probably blew simultaneously.
But why? And how?

All right, Smith,
let's get back to the Jupiter.

- [ Female Voice ] Wait. Wait where you are.
- Wait for what?

- I didn't say anything.
- Come on, Smith, stop playing games with me.

I am not playing games.

I think it-it came from there.

Oh, forget it, Smith.
This equipment is hopelessly wrecked.

[ Female Voice ]
As far as you are concerned, that is true.

Major, I think we should go.

It's only a voice.
It-It can't hurt us.

Of course I cannot. Any more
than I can hurt that stone behind you.

Whoa!

That voice has a sting to it, eh, Smith?

Now harken to this.
You will now return to your flight ship...

and rejoin your fellow voyagers.

You will hear from me again
when you are there. You will.

- Now, look, what's this all about?
- Prisoners may not ask questions.

- Prisoners?
- Surrender your weapons.

- No, thanks.
- [ High-pitched Tone ]

Whoa!

Return to your ship
and await orders.

Yes, sir--
Uh, yes, ma'am.

Now don't be in such a hurry, Smith.
There are a few things I'd like explained.

Your orders, when you receive them,
will be self-explanatory.

Ask no further questions if you wish to live.
Return to your ship at once.

[ High-pitched Tone ]

- We're going. We're going!
- We were just about on
our way back there anyway.

[ Tone Stops ]

We're going. Yes, we are.
We're going.

Anything happen to the equipment
at your station?

It blew just like stations two and three.
I guess Will and Penny told you, huh?

The children aren't back yet.

- They're not?
- No.

All I know is a voice bounced off
that wrecked master system...

and said something about your getting
back to the ship and surrendering your guns.

It was addressed
to the major and me.

A female voice, I believe, much more
deadly than the male. We are her prisoners.

Well, I'm not. Neither are you
or any of us, for that matter.

- But I'm very much afraid the children are.
- Well, let's go find them.

- [ High-pitched Tone ]
- [ Female Voice ] Stand fast!

[ Tone Stops ]

- Surrender your weapons.
- Well, there it goes again.

Look at this thing!
Not one circuit that isn't blown!

And yet that voice bounces
through loud and clear!

Well, it may be transmitted by a high-energy
radio mirage, not that it helps us.

- [ Footsteps Approaching ]
- What are you doing?

We don't have too much time.
I'll stack the weapons out here.

Stop dreaming, Smith,
and put the guns away.

Mark my words,
we shall rue this day.

[ Sighs ]
John, what are we going to do?

Well, until we know about the children,
we better pretend to play it her way.

Gosh. This looks like
it could be a landing pad.

It's been used recently.
Maybe this blew our transmitter.

I can neither affirm
nor deny, Will Robinson.

Gosh, these posts
go all the way around.

It must be some kind of
generator posts for a force field.

- [ Beeping ]
- What's that?

It may be the source of
the radio wave emissions.

- It's coming from that cave.
- Warning! Warning!

Look, I know it's "unknockable,"
but I'm gonna try and knock it out anyway.

[ Whistles ]

You're right, Robot.
It does look kind of "unknockable."

But if I can just change the frequencies
so they don't interfere with ours--

That is a dangerous step,
Will Robinson. I caution against it.

Well, you're always cautioning
or warning against something.

I must repeat my warning.
This is a hostile, alien campsite.

We must return to
the Jupiter 2 immediately.

You don't understand. They could
wreck all our equipment with this.

Very true, Will Robinson.

This looks like it must be
their frequency transformer.

Well, here goes.

[ High-pitched Tone ]

You're right, Robot.
We'd better get back to the Jupiter.

I would recommend extreme speed!

[ Tone Continues ]

[ Tone Ends ]

[ Female Voice ]
Stand fast!

Bring the male child here.

And bring that too.

Male children who attempt
acts of aggression against us...

rarely live to reach maturity.

- What are you?
- I am a Robot of the Class M-3...

programmed to provide information
and support to all Jupiter personnel.

You sound much too masculine.

Is that bad?

It is ridiculous that they would
create a machine in a man's image.

Look, ma'am, what I was doing
wasn't an act of aggression.

That machine busted
our radio network.

It was I who "busted it,"
if that is your expression for destruction.

- But why, ma'am?
- My name is Niolani.

Nobly born of the Kondor Nation
of female warriors.

You will address me accordingly.

Okay, Noble Niolani. But you still haven't
answered my question.

Male children should be seen and not heard,
much less permitted to ask questions.

I don't see why you have to be a female
warrior when there's so many men around.

Their numbers grow
less and less, thanks to us.

They are a useless lot,
fit only for simple guard duty.

I wish I could help,
Will Robinson...

but the radio wave emissions
have paralyzed my attack system.

What are you gonna do with us?

You'd better let me go, 'cause
when my father hears about this--

His father...

a mere mortal male.

John, I'm sure that that voice or-or that
woman or whatever she is has the children.

John, I'm sure that that voice or-or that
woman or whatever she is has the children.

- Yes, I'm afraid you're right.
- I know you're right, madam.

- Well, Major, now may I stack the weapons?
- No!

- Very well, but you're asking for trouble.
- [ Niolani ] Indeed, he is!

Forward!

Halt!

Where are your weapons?
You were ordered to surrender them.

- What about our children?
- They have been taken captive...

along with that repulsive creature,
Class M-3.

- They've got the Robot.
- What are you going to do with them?

Surrender your weapons.

Well, they've got the children.

- Don, deliver the guns.
- Come on, Smith.

She's very beautiful,
even if she is deadly.

Yeah, so's a tigress.

- Get going.
- Aren't you coming with me?

Get going!

There is a weapon missing.

You have the vulgar cunning
of all members of your sex.

If there are any further attempts
at escape or violence...

by any of you, your end will be swift,
I promise you.

Move out! March!

Halt!

Stand guard.

Any woman who acts like a barbarian
is gonna be treated like one.

From now on, she's interplanetary
enemy number one.

- We'll do nothing until
we know about the children.
- Will seems safe enough. Look.

- Will.
- Mom!

Oh, Will.

The male child is a captive.
Let him be.

- Yes, but he's my son!
- The women of my nation have had many sons.

They are of little worth to us.
Fall in!

You have no doubt all wondered
why you were taken prisoner.

You have no doubt all wondered
why you were taken prisoner.

Yes, I've been more than wondering.

- And if I had half the chance--
- Not now, Don.

Your moral courage is
not what is needed here.

What we need is your male
animal strength. That is all.

- Does that include the strength of children?
- Only male children.

You will not interrupt me again.

Now, harken to this.

"This planet has been
chosen as a settlement...

"for a pioneer colony of female warriors
of the Kondor Nation.

"You have been taken captive in order
that you may prepare the landing pad...

"and an electronic purifying arch...

"through which all our warrior colonists
will have to pass...

- before breathing the air of their new home."
- Bully for them.

You said something?

Do you expect to do all this work
with our bare hands?

To clear the pad, bare hands will do.

For the arch, the necessary sections
will be provided.

Since they are due to arrive shortly...

you will be expected to work night and day,
with only brief periods for food and rest.

Laggards, I must warn you,
will be severely punished.

It will be futile for you to attempt escape,
as you will now see.

That is a force-field barrier.
Do not attempt to pass through it.

Doesn't look like
much of a barrier to me.

Go on, try it.
You are the arrogant one.

Put them to work!
You, come with me!

- No, I want to stay here.
- You will now fulfill your true destiny. Come.

Ohh! I can't!
My delicate back will break.

That seems to be the general
intention around here, for all of us.

Judy. Judy, are you all right?

Uh-huh. Penny's all right too.
She's with Mother.

Oh, good.

Well, I hope they haven't been working
you the way they've been working us.

Uh-uh. Women have their privileges
in this community, Don.

- Really? Like what?
- Oh, like being waited on by men...

while Niolani tells us all about
the estimable virtues of the female...

and the not-so-estimable
vices of the male.

Hmm. I hope you haven't
been swallowing any of that.

Judy, you shouldn't be here with Don
like this. You know it's against the rules.

Yeah, well, you can tell Niolani for me,
Penny, that it's not against human nature.

- And there's nothing she's going to do about that.
- I'd better go.

Haven't you any conscience
whatsoever, Smith?

Of course I do. But you and the Professor
are so much stronger than I am.

I know you wouldn't want me
to tear a ligament.

- Hey, how about a hand?
- [ Yells ]

Right in there.
That's it! One more! There!

I think it's beginning to look
rather magnificent now that it's up.

No thanks to you.

The spirit was willing, Professor,
but the flesh, that's quite a different story.

I'm afraid I'm not as young
as I used to be.

But surely the Noble Niolani
understands that.

The only thing the Noble Niolani understands
is that men are nothing compared to women.

She may have a point, you know.

A society of female warriors, female leaders,
it might be very interesting.

I think we should discuss it with her
and perhaps contribute to this great society.

Come on, Smith,
get back to work, huh?

The only chance we have of breaking out
of here is getting through that force field.

Well, what about Maureen
and the girls?

We'll be back for them. Niolani thinks
all women are allies. She won't hurt them.

But tell the Robot to get Will. Hurry!

Open the force field
so we can get these rocks out.

Force field, open!

- When it's open, we make our move.
- Right.

Ohh! I shall never be the same.
I can feel something tearing inside.

It is always the seat of your pants,
Dr. Smith! Stand up straight!

[ Electronic Tone Lowering ]

Here, catch!

Oh, you clumsy clod!

[ High-pitched Tone ]

Stop it! Stop it!
I can't bear it!

Poor, sensitive creatures.

Everything is too much for you.

From now on, your rest periods
will be much shorter.

The colonists are due to arrive soon.

If you have not finished
the landing pad by then...

you will die!

Dr. Smith, I don't see why you
have to do all this fancy stuff.

I mean, it's not gonna
help us one bit.

Blank spaces offend
my sense of completeness, William.

Did I ever tell you that
had I not taken to medicine...

I would have become
a great muralist and sculptor?

It occurs to me
that Michelangelo...

should have been known as
the Zachary Smith of his time.

William, assist the master.

There... and there.

Ah! Oooh!
Oh, dear! Ohh!

The agony I endure
for the ecstasy of my art.

Ah! It is beginning to look rather
intriguing, don't you think?

It is beginning to look
rather nauseating.

I do not recall asking for your opinion,
you misshapen mummy.

Work! Work!
Back to work!

Yes, Noble Niolani.
To work, to work, to work, to work.

Forward!

Halt!

How dare you waste precious time.

I was just adding a final little
artistic embellishment, milady.

- What final embellishment?
- My signature.

You have not worked very hard.

But indeed I have, on this.

It demands great artistic genius,
not mere muscle.

- Artistic genius?
- It runs in the family, milady.

All the Smiths have
very definite artistic flair.

Come, Smith.

Come with me. Proceed!

At once, mighty maiden.

I sure hope she isn't gonna punish
Dr. Smith for messin' up the arch.

I do not think so, Will Robinson.

The female of the species
always has a soft spot for artists.

How come you know so much about
the female of the species?

I have been around, Will Robinson.
I have been around.

The guards better not
catch you two loafing.

Oh, they're stupid.
We can fool 'em.

That's what the conditioning
machine says about all men.

- I sure hope you don't believe it.
- And why shouldn't I?

After all, you don't think
much of girls.

They are kind
of scatterbrained, I guess.

Oh, is that so? Well, let me tell you
something, William Robinson.

The male is nothing. The female
is everything. Everything! So there.

Boy, are you confused.

- Pick it up.
- Pick it up?

Maybe you didn't hear me.
I said, pick it up.

Put it back on my wrist.
At once!

What's gotten into her?

I have a strange suspicion Penny has
acquired some of the characteristics...

of the female warrior nation.

[ Both Giggling ]

What a nice,
agreeable male you are, Smith.

Come closer.

Let me see your teeth.
Open your mouth!

- Wider! Say "ahh."
- Ahhhh!

Very healthy. Stand up!

Throw out your chest!
Out! Out! I said, out!

- It's out as far as it'll go.
- Ohh.

All right, bend your elbow
and clench your fist.

[ Giggling ]

[ Sighs ] What a pitiful specimen
you are, Smith.

But you'll do, for a while.

You will do.

As what, Noble Niolani?

As my consort, what else?

You know, if there was some way of
sabotaging her hypersonic transmitter...

we might be able to
alter their flight path.

- Yeah, except she lives right in
there with it, she never sleeps.
- Yeah.

- Well, maybe we could do
something about the arch.
- How would that help, Son?

Well, she said that they had to pass through
it to breathe in this atmosphere, remember?

- Yeah.
- Split! The goons!

All right, you yardbirds,
shape up and get back to work!

Oh, please, gentlemen.
You simply must cooperate.

Niolani will be terribly
annoyed at me if you don't.

Well, that's just too, too,
too bad, isn't it, Smith?

What are you anyway,
some kind of a teacher's pet?

Niolani has graciously consented
to let me be her consort.

How did you manage that?

- I guess she fell for his
artistic genius or something.
- She appreciates it, my boy.

I expect to have the honor of artist
in residence conferred upon me...

when the rest of the colonists arrive.

Now, hop to it!
Get to work!

What a charming symbol of authority.

Thrilling. Such power.

To work!
To work, at once! You, sir...

police up the approach to
the arch, pick up every pebble.

Dainty feet are coming.
Dainty feet.

Dainty feet, yuck!

Bah! Well, what are you waiting for?

Just to see how far
you've gone over, Smith.

Spare me your conundrums, Major.

Dr. Smith, have you forgotten
whose side that you're on?

My dear boy,
artists are above taking sides.

I prefer not to participate in this
dreary masculine protest. To work!

To work!
At once! At once!

- Well, okay. Let's go.
- Everybody up! To work, to work!

And how is the work coming, Smith?

Under my artistic guidance,
it's almost complete, Noble Niolani.

- What a nice, comfortable consort you are.
- [ John ] She's in there.

- What is the meaning of this?
- We've done the work you expected of us.

- We've cleared the pad and erected the arch.
- Good.

Under my strict supervision, of course.

We'd have done it without your supervision,
and for one reason--

to be free of you and your colonists.

Now I demand our release,
as well as the release of my family.

But there are other planets.

And what's that supposed to mean?

Colonization is a never-ending task
for my nation.

You'll be needed to prepare for
their arrival wherever they land.

Are you saying you intend to
hold us captives indefinitely?

No, not indefinitely.

Just as long as your
physical stamina lasts.

After which, you will be like them.

Oh.

You are inviting death.

Well, it's better than being
one of your male slaves.

I could quite easily
have destroyed him...

but he is powerful enough
to be useful.

- He'll recover.
- [ Beeping ]

Ah! The colonists arrive
with the light of the sun.

I will introduce you to them
as my consort...

as they come through the arch.

I hope they like your arch, Smith.

Oh, they'll love it, Noble Niolani.
They will simply love it.

Now tell me, dear lady, where do you and I
go after the arrival of the colonists?

To seek another habitable planet,
of course.

I know an excellent planet. It happens
to be in a neighboring solar system.

It's called Earth. I would simply
adore to show you around.

[ Growls ]

Males never show
females around, Smith.

You go where I go
and never vice versa.

Of course, dear lady,
never vice versa.

[ Growls ]

Here. Now drink some of this.

How do you feel?

Like I've been over Niagara Falls
in a paper cup, three times.

But I'll be all right, I guess.

Look, if we're not out of here before
those colonists arrive, we've had it.

Now, we've got some guns
stashed at the drill site.

We've gotta find an opening
in that force field.

Well, it can be operated through
the transmitter and that antenna there.

I saw the controls
before I got clobbered.

- You think you can get to it?
- Well, I'll try.

All right, here's what you do.

- Well, what do you think of it, milady?
- It is beautiful.

[ Niolani ] We will take it with us
wherever we go.

Your former friends will do the work
of dismantling and reassembling.

And could they also form
a guard of honor at our betrothal?

[ Electronic Tone Lowering ]

Okay.

Carry on, Smith.

Where do you think you're going? Back to
work at once, do you hear? To the rear, march!

- Smith, call off these goons!
We're gonna get the guns!
- And you're going with us.

No, I am not. You can't make me
a party to your scheme.

Niolani will never forgive me.
She'll divorce me before she marries me!

Smith, you don't mean any more to her
than we do. You've gotta let us go!

Now!

- Smith, come on!
- [ Yelling ]

Let me go! Let me go!
Sergeant of the guard!

Well, now, Smith, you are becoming
as brave as our female warriors.

I shall recommend you for a decoration--
the Kondor Merit Badge.

The Kondor Merit Badge.
Oh, thank you, milady.

As you were.

Fall in!

Hear no evil, see no evil,
speak no evil.

If you wish to obtain my full cooperation,
Will Robinson...

you must tell me your plans.

We're gonna try and blow up the arch
before her warriors get there.

If it works, they won't be able to land...

and Niolani will be in the doghouse
with her nation.

Here, you take the detonator.

[ Grunts ] And I'll carry
the plastic explosives.

Oh, dear!
It is frightfully heavy.

- What's gotten into you?
- Nothing. Really, nothing.

For a minute, I thought you were
gonna get all artistic, like Dr. Smith.

Now all we have to do is figure out some way
to put it in the arch so they don't see it.

I have programmed my computers
to be sly, devious and sneaky...

and have come up
with a Dr. Smith solution.

I will tell you about it on the way.

Well, what do you think of it, Robot?

That is probably the most
beautiful piece of work...

ever to have been made
out of plastic explosives.

Well, I'm not as good as
Dr. Smith at making statues...

but mine's got more
of a kick to it, I hope.

Well, here, you stay here
with the detonator. I'll be back.

Will do, Will Robinson.

Stay here and hold the fort, Robot.

It will be a lonely vigil
for me, Will Robinson...

but I realize that he also serves
who only stands and pulsates.

- Well, just stand guard.
- Affirmative.

- Will's got the detonator hidden among the rocks.
- Good for Will.

I don't know whether
to pat him on the back...

- or take him over my knee
for takin' a chance like that.
- What's the strategy now?

All right, when we break out of here,
you pick the guard you're gonna tackle.

I'll take the other one out
and head for the detonator.

It'll be Will's job to clear
the family out of the area.

Good. What about Smith? Will did say he kept
quiet when he saw them escape.

- Well, he'll be given fair warning.
- All right.

Well, there's nothing left for us
to do now but wait for the dawn.

Well, Smith, how do I look?

Ravishing, Noble Niolani.
Simply ravishing.

I look rather ravishing myself,
don't you think?

[ Beeping ]

Harken! Our first spaceship has sighted
the planet. Call out the honor guard.

- Fall in!
- Yes, sir! Yes, madam.

Rise and shine! Rise and shine!
This is an historic occasion!

Come on, Smith, you don't really
expect us to shine, do you?

Now you heard what the man said,
didn't you? He said, "rise and shine."

Silence in the ranks!
Attention! To the arch!

March! Hup, two, hup, two.
Stay in step!

Hup, two, hup, two.
Halt! Fall in over here.

Hey.

Splendid!

Oh, dear.

Dear. Something's happened to
one of my lovely little statues.

But it'll only take a jiffy
to give it a little touch-up.

- But, Dr. Smith--
- Yes?

Nothing.

Halt!

Where is Smith? The colonists are
due to arrive in a matter of minutes.

I'll get him for you, Noble Niolani.

Dr. Smith! Don't hit it!

What is the meaning of this, William? You
should be standing at attention at the arch.

I know, but that statue, it's-it's-it's--

- "It's-It's" what? Speak up, my boy.
- It's-- It's explosive!

Ahh! Explosive?

Dr. Smith, it's not one
of the statues you made.

I made it to blow up the arch.

But, William, that's vandalism.
My magnificent arch.

I know how you
feel about it, Dr. Smith...

but it's the only way
we've got to get out of here...

and away from that female
and other females like her.

They'd make life just about
unbearable for us men, Dr. Smith.

But think of the wonders
of their civilization...

think of the blessings
they confer on mankind.

They just confer those
blessings on womankind.

To them, mankind is just
something to kick around.

And I'm not gonna let
you do this to Dad and Don.

And if you think Niolani's gonna give you
any extra privileges, well, you're wrong.

To her, you're just another man or--
or a mouse, like those guards of hers.

- I shall never be a mouse!
- For a minute you sounded like
the Dr. Smith I used to know...

before you got all involved with her.

But I'm just kidding myself.
You're not the old Dr. Smith.

- William?
- Well, what is it?

Can't you think of a safer way
to effect your escape?

It's the only way we've got.

Very well, then take it.

- And good luck.
- You have to take it.

- It's supposed to be a part of your artistic genius.
- Me?

- I can't!
- [ Niolani ] Smith, report at once!

Yes, sir-- I mean, ma'am!

Oh, William.

What shall I do?
Tell me what to do.

Now listen carefully.

Pick it up and take it
to where you got it.

Then call for me
like you need my help...

and I'll come and I'll reconnect
the blasting wires.

But remember, whatever you do,
don't drop it.

[ Niolani ] Report at once, Smith!

Coming, N-N-N-Noble
N-N-N-Niolani!

- Don't drop it!
- [ Yells ]

[ Yells ]

Careful. It's explosive.

Forgive the delay,
oh mighty maiden...

but an artist's work is never done.

Another moment, Smith, and I
would have done away with you.

I just wanted the arch to be perfectly
adorned for the arrival of the colonists.

But I'm afraid I shall
need some help. William!

Coming, Dr. Smith.

Ah, they have arrived!

- Back to your place, male child.
- Yes, ma'am.

Now!

- Run for your lives!
- Stand fast! Stand fast, I say!

Mission accomplished.

[ Beeping ]

Yes. Yes, my queen,
I shall return at once.

Hail to thee, blithe spirit...

cherub thou never wert.

Ah me, the last relic
of my creative genius.

That is not a product
of your creative genius.

- That was made by Will Robinson
out of plastic explosive.
- [ Yells ]

[ Laughing ]
I never said I was perfect.

Just you wait, you misguided,
mechanical misery.

[ Sighs ] Disgraced. Humiliated.

Defeated by mere males.
Oh, I shall be court-martialed.

Sentenced to a lifetime
of degrading drudgery--

cooking, cleaning, laundry...

squalling, sniveling children.
[ Sobbing ]

You have defeated me.

You are free now.
It is I who am captive.

Well, it isn't a defeat to acknowledge
that men are just as good as women.

Why, equality of the sexes has
advantages you may have overlooked.

I must tell my people about that.
Perhaps they will listen.

Your scepter, Noble Niolani.

Thank you, male child.

Well, do you still think the male
is nothing and the female is everything?

I never said any such thing.

- Oh, yes, you did!
- No, I didn't.

Oh, come on now. Isn't it time
that you two were tired of the battle?

Well, we've replaced
all the transistoroids.

All that remains now
is to lay in the relays.

And make sure we get back
to full power gradually.

Well, that'll be Smith's job.
Do you understand what you're to do?

- Of course I do, Professor.
It's a very simple procedure.
- Good.

All right, Smith,
let's hear you repeat it.

I am fully aware
of my responsibilities, Major.

As I have said many times in the past--
Never fear, Smith is here.

Oh, I know this is a mistake.

All right, let's go over it once more.

When you see the yellow light go on,
hit the blue button...

then wait two seconds
and hit the black button...

then wait three seconds
and hit the green.

- Child's play.
- Well, that's why we picked you to do it.

Bah! Huh. Nothing to it at all.

The yellow light, the black button,
the blue button and the green button.

- Would you like some coffee?
- Thank you very much, dear lady.
Black, if you don't mind.

- Right.
- Now, let me see, what was it?

Uh, green, blue, black, yes. No.

- Blue, yellow, uh, green, uh, black--
- Is something wrong?

- Nothing at all, madam.
Just solving a simple problem.
- [ Beeping ]

- What's that for?
- A signal from your husband. Now, let me see.

Well, whatever it is John wants you to do,
I think you better do it.

By all means.
Now which button was it?

Ah! The green button,
of course! There.

[ Explosion ]

- Oh, John!
- Something appears to be wrong.

I'd better press the blue button.

[ Explosion ]

Dr. Smith! Dr. Smith!

Oh! I'm innocent!

The professor probably got his wires crossed.
I did everything perfectly.

- Look, Don and John are in there!
We've got to get to them!
- You should go without me.

In the event of a further disaster,
I will care for the children.

- No, you're coming with me.
- I don't see any reason why
we should both risk our lives!

- Come on, now. They may be badly injured.
- Oh!

- [ John ] Maureen, stay back!
- Ohh! I knew this was a mistake!

- There's a high-voltage cable
moving in the room!
- We're all going to be killed!