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1
00:00:01,274 --> 00:00:03,091
Previously on Mike & Molly...
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00:00:03,092 --> 00:00:04,117
You guys did very well.
3
00:00:04,118 --> 00:00:06,747
I think you're perfect
candidates for adoption.
4
00:00:06,748 --> 00:00:07,747
- Oh, that's great.
- (sighs)
5
00:00:07,748 --> 00:00:10,117
Thank you so much.
6
00:00:10,118 --> 00:00:13,077
So, the next thing for us to do
is schedule a home visit.
7
00:00:13,078 --> 00:00:14,118
Whose home?
8
00:00:16,288 --> 00:00:18,457
Yeah, we are totally committed
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00:00:18,458 --> 00:00:20,697
to creating a healthy
and safe environment
10
00:00:20,698 --> 00:00:21,957
- for this child.
- Yeah.
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00:00:21,958 --> 00:00:24,457
I promise you, we will
take good care of it.
12
00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:26,230
(crib door slides)
13
00:00:29,408 --> 00:00:31,537
I appreciate you being
so thorough and open.
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00:00:31,538 --> 00:00:33,907
Most couples hoping to adopt
aren't as forthcoming.
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00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:36,117
So, about your living situation.
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00:00:36,118 --> 00:00:38,158
- We live alone.
- Just the two of us.
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00:00:42,868 --> 00:00:44,907
Why do we have to take
new holiday photos
18
00:00:44,908 --> 00:00:46,577
for the adoption agency?
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00:00:46,578 --> 00:00:50,037
I mean, I look fantastic
in these old ones.
20
00:00:50,038 --> 00:00:51,657
Because we have to show
expectant mothers that,
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00:00:51,658 --> 00:00:53,747
if they pick us,
that their child will be raised
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00:00:53,748 --> 00:00:55,457
in a safe
and wholesome environment.
23
00:00:55,458 --> 00:00:57,457
What's not wholesome here?
24
00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:59,115
Wine glass.
25
00:00:59,868 --> 00:01:00,908
Shot glass.
26
00:01:02,118 --> 00:01:03,118
Beer bong.
27
00:01:04,578 --> 00:01:06,395
Bong bong.
28
00:01:06,655 --> 00:01:09,157
Okay, all right,
let's make some memories, people.
29
00:01:09,158 --> 00:01:11,497
Victoria, hold the branch up.
Mike, grab an ornament.
30
00:01:11,498 --> 00:01:12,617
Mom.
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00:01:12,618 --> 00:01:14,578
Get a shot of us decorating
the Christmas tree.
32
00:01:19,823 --> 00:01:20,862
Got it!
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00:01:20,863 --> 00:01:22,653
Okay, next.
Lose the sweater!
34
00:01:23,943 --> 00:01:25,782
Okay, we got to celebrate
two birthdays,
35
00:01:25,783 --> 00:01:26,992
we got to carve some pumpkins,
36
00:01:26,993 --> 00:01:29,072
we got to pose for
that Fourth of July picture
37
00:01:29,073 --> 00:01:32,032
in front of the neighbor's pool
before they get home.
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00:01:32,033 --> 00:01:35,903
Are we doing Halloween now or do
I have time to run to Costco?
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00:01:38,823 --> 00:01:42,112
♪ La, la-ba-dee-da ♪
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00:01:42,113 --> 00:01:44,992
♪ La, la-ba-dee-da ♪
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00:01:44,993 --> 00:01:47,942
♪ For the first time
in my life ♪
42
00:01:47,943 --> 00:01:49,612
♪ I see love ♪
43
00:01:49,613 --> 00:01:51,742
♪ I see love ♪
44
00:01:51,743 --> 00:01:54,652
♪ For the first time
in my life ♪
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00:01:54,653 --> 00:01:56,282
♪ I see love ♪
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Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
47
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All right, what number
did you give the agency?
48
00:02:09,911 --> 00:02:11,570
I gave them everyone's number.
49
00:02:11,571 --> 00:02:14,240
Uh, my phone, your phone,
the house phone, the work phone.
50
00:02:14,241 --> 00:02:17,466
Everything except Victoria's
dealer and Vince's bookie.
51
00:02:18,451 --> 00:02:20,450
Maybe they hated
our photo album, huh?
52
00:02:20,451 --> 00:02:23,030
Oh, God... I never should have
included that old-timey picture
53
00:02:23,031 --> 00:02:24,910
we did at Six Flags.
54
00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:27,570
Now I bet they think
we're really wanted.
55
00:02:27,571 --> 00:02:29,990
Sweetie, it's only been a week.
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00:02:29,991 --> 00:02:31,650
The last thing they said was,
"Be patient,
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00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:32,950
these things take time."
58
00:02:32,951 --> 00:02:34,360
What the hell kind
of advice is that
59
00:02:34,361 --> 00:02:36,820
to give to an expectant parent?
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00:02:36,821 --> 00:02:39,530
(chuckles) Mol, a real baby
takes nine months.
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00:02:39,531 --> 00:02:41,570
The least we could do
is give them two weeks.
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00:02:41,571 --> 00:02:43,150
Two weeks?
(gasps)
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00:02:43,151 --> 00:02:44,740
I thought you wanted a baby.
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00:02:44,741 --> 00:02:46,200
Okay, if you're not all in,
tell me now
65
00:02:46,201 --> 00:02:48,490
because I will
raise it on my own.
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00:02:48,491 --> 00:02:50,110
Take it easy, okay?
67
00:02:50,111 --> 00:02:52,990
We're both on
the same side here.
68
00:02:52,991 --> 00:02:54,820
Then why aren't you
all crazy like me?
69
00:02:54,821 --> 00:02:56,450
Because I leave the house.
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00:02:56,451 --> 00:02:57,780
You're in this cage all day
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00:02:57,781 --> 00:02:59,910
pacing around like
that cross-eyed zebra at the zoo
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00:02:59,911 --> 00:03:01,700
we sneak marshmallows to.
73
00:03:01,701 --> 00:03:05,031
Poor little Stewart,
he don't see right.
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00:03:06,031 --> 00:03:07,410
What do you say
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00:03:07,411 --> 00:03:10,320
we get the hell out of
here and take a walk.
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00:03:10,321 --> 00:03:12,780
(sighs) You're right.
I'm sorry I'm acting like this.
77
00:03:12,781 --> 00:03:15,030
I'm not. Just shows
how much you want this
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00:03:15,031 --> 00:03:16,861
and what a good mom
you're gonna be.
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00:03:19,611 --> 00:03:21,200
(breathes deeply)
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00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,360
Fresh air.
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00:03:23,361 --> 00:03:25,860
Blue sky.
What a day.
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00:03:25,861 --> 00:03:28,070
(sighs) All right.
I'm good.
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00:03:28,071 --> 00:03:30,030
No, you don't.
No, no, no.
84
00:03:30,031 --> 00:03:32,530
Come on, we should at least
make it down to the sidewalk.
85
00:03:32,531 --> 00:03:34,321
(phone ringing inside)
86
00:03:36,031 --> 00:03:37,200
Did you bring the house key?
87
00:03:37,201 --> 00:03:39,410
Me? No, you're the one
who dragged me out here.
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00:03:39,411 --> 00:03:41,110
I was happy inside.
89
00:03:41,111 --> 00:03:42,530
What are we supposed to do now?
90
00:03:42,531 --> 00:03:44,530
I don't know. All I know is
our baby is calling
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00:03:44,531 --> 00:03:46,201
on the other side of that door.
92
00:03:46,741 --> 00:03:48,741
(phone ringing)
93
00:03:49,611 --> 00:03:50,740
Don't hang up!
94
00:03:50,741 --> 00:03:52,700
Don't hang up!
Don't hang up!
95
00:03:52,701 --> 00:03:53,701
(groans)
96
00:03:56,031 --> 00:03:59,530
(panting): Hello? Hello?
97
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:03,201
No, Vince, we do not
need anything from Costco.
98
00:04:11,701 --> 00:04:12,860
Ten years on the job.
99
00:04:12,861 --> 00:04:15,360
I never had to kick in
a door until it was my own.
100
00:04:15,361 --> 00:04:16,781
Does that ankle
look swollen to you?
101
00:04:18,151 --> 00:04:19,820
They both do.
102
00:04:19,821 --> 00:04:21,610
But I'm guessing
it's water retention.
103
00:04:21,611 --> 00:04:23,570
Yeah, I think it's
all that salt you eat.
104
00:04:23,571 --> 00:04:25,280
Not in the mood, Carl.
105
00:04:25,281 --> 00:04:27,320
Hey, listen, we both
have to watch our sodium.
106
00:04:27,321 --> 00:04:28,410
Look how fat my fingers are.
107
00:04:28,411 --> 00:04:29,611
Can't even wear my thumb ring.
108
00:04:29,816 --> 00:04:32,240
Get out.
109
00:04:32,241 --> 00:04:34,910
It's just this whole baby thing
has got us on edge, you know?
110
00:04:34,911 --> 00:04:36,610
I'm trying to be
strong for Molly,
111
00:04:36,611 --> 00:04:39,450
but I'm going
just as nuts as she is.
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00:04:39,451 --> 00:04:41,110
Well, you know
what I always say.
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00:04:41,111 --> 00:04:42,360
It'll happen...
114
00:04:42,361 --> 00:04:43,741
when it happens.
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00:04:45,151 --> 00:04:46,360
Really?
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00:04:46,361 --> 00:04:47,740
Is that when it happens, Carl?
117
00:04:47,741 --> 00:04:48,741
When it happens?
118
00:04:50,741 --> 00:04:52,611
Well, not with that attitude.
119
00:04:53,911 --> 00:04:55,360
Look, you don't know
what we're going through.
120
00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:58,030
It's like slow torture waiting
for that phone to ring.
121
00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,200
All right.
122
00:04:59,201 --> 00:05:00,650
I can see that this
is tearing you apart,
123
00:05:00,651 --> 00:05:02,320
and I know you don't
want to hear this, but...
124
00:05:02,321 --> 00:05:04,700
I think you may need to
talk to a professional.
125
00:05:04,701 --> 00:05:06,610
Like a therapist?
126
00:05:06,611 --> 00:05:07,700
No, better.
127
00:05:07,701 --> 00:05:08,700
My psychic.
128
00:05:08,701 --> 00:05:10,700
Get out of here.
129
00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:12,610
I'm telling you, man,
Madame Vianne is the real deal.
130
00:05:12,611 --> 00:05:14,610
She knows all, she sees all.
131
00:05:14,611 --> 00:05:16,490
And she's a life coach.
132
00:05:16,491 --> 00:05:19,411
And if you need anything
notarized, bring that, too.
133
00:05:24,821 --> 00:05:27,364
(whirring)
134
00:05:32,281 --> 00:05:33,321
(continues whirring)
135
00:05:36,781 --> 00:05:38,200
What's all that racket?
136
00:05:38,201 --> 00:05:39,910
Oh, that?
Don't worry.
137
00:05:39,911 --> 00:05:42,860
After a half hour,
you won't even notice it.
138
00:05:42,861 --> 00:05:44,110
How was brunch?
139
00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:47,650
It was good.
I had the poached salmon Benedict.
140
00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:48,700
What?
141
00:05:48,701 --> 00:05:50,860
I had the poached
salmon Benedict!
142
00:05:50,861 --> 00:05:52,410
Have you ever had it with crab?!
143
00:05:52,411 --> 00:05:54,570
- What?!
- What?!
144
00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:55,701
This is ridiculous.
145
00:05:56,911 --> 00:05:58,530
We'll talk later!
146
00:05:58,531 --> 00:06:00,450
What?!
147
00:06:00,451 --> 00:06:02,321
Molly!
148
00:06:04,701 --> 00:06:05,700
- (waxer turns off)
- Molly.
149
00:06:05,701 --> 00:06:07,860
What the hell are you doing?
150
00:06:07,861 --> 00:06:09,360
Waxing the floors.
151
00:06:09,361 --> 00:06:10,410
Why?
152
00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:12,320
'Cause I'm trying to stay busy
153
00:06:12,321 --> 00:06:15,360
in this cage
before my eyes go wonky.
154
00:06:15,361 --> 00:06:16,530
What?
155
00:06:16,531 --> 00:06:18,780
I'm just trying to take
my mind off of stuff.
156
00:06:18,781 --> 00:06:20,200
Have you tried meditation?
157
00:06:20,201 --> 00:06:22,200
Or getting real drunk?
158
00:06:22,201 --> 00:06:25,610
So when the adoption agency
calls, I'm gonna be blotto?
159
00:06:25,611 --> 00:06:27,361
- (doorbell rings)
- Is that what you want?
160
00:06:28,701 --> 00:06:31,360
I can see my reflection.
161
00:06:31,361 --> 00:06:33,200
You're gonna have to start
wearing underwear in here.
162
00:06:33,201 --> 00:06:36,410
Why? I'm just as waxed
as this floor.
163
00:06:36,411 --> 00:06:37,860
(doorbell continues ringing)
164
00:06:37,861 --> 00:06:40,200
Don't worry, Vince,
I'll get the door.
165
00:06:40,201 --> 00:06:43,361
All right, I figured
you want to keep busy.
166
00:06:44,651 --> 00:06:46,200
Is there a baby yet?
167
00:06:46,201 --> 00:06:47,610
Yeah, Peggy.
168
00:06:47,611 --> 00:06:49,651
Meet your grandchild.
He's right there on the couch.
169
00:06:51,241 --> 00:06:53,860
This whole adoption process
is ridiculous.
170
00:06:53,861 --> 00:06:55,450
You know, if you
were a celebrity,
171
00:06:55,451 --> 00:06:58,780
this house would be swimming
in Third World babies.
172
00:06:58,781 --> 00:07:00,030
Well, if you're open to that,
I know a guy
173
00:07:00,031 --> 00:07:01,860
who can get his hands
on just about anything.
174
00:07:01,861 --> 00:07:05,950
Got me the socks Saddam Hussein
was wearing when they hung him.
175
00:07:05,951 --> 00:07:07,610
Get out of here.
176
00:07:07,611 --> 00:07:08,910
No, I'm serious.
177
00:07:08,911 --> 00:07:10,700
I got the certificate of
authenticity and everything.
178
00:07:10,701 --> 00:07:12,241
No, get out of here.
179
00:07:12,991 --> 00:07:14,610
Get out of here.
180
00:07:14,611 --> 00:07:16,450
Get out of here!
181
00:07:16,451 --> 00:07:18,200
God, do you ever want
to just kill somebody?
182
00:07:18,201 --> 00:07:20,031
Everybody.
All the time.
183
00:07:22,781 --> 00:07:24,860
You know, I wouldn't say this
in front of Mike,
184
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:27,820
but I'm starting to think
this is not gonna happen.
185
00:07:27,821 --> 00:07:29,240
Of course it's gonna happen.
186
00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:30,490
You don't know that.
187
00:07:30,491 --> 00:07:32,280
Yes, I do, 'cause I got faith.
188
00:07:32,281 --> 00:07:35,240
Which is exactly what you need.
189
00:07:35,241 --> 00:07:37,320
Grab your coat,
you're coming with me.
190
00:07:37,321 --> 00:07:40,030
- Where?
- I'm taking you to my friend's house.
191
00:07:40,031 --> 00:07:43,570
My buddy God
and his little boy Jesus.
192
00:07:43,571 --> 00:07:47,070
Oh, I-I appreciate
what you're doing,
193
00:07:47,071 --> 00:07:50,360
but, uh, I'm not really
tight with those guys.
194
00:07:50,361 --> 00:07:51,450
Well, I am.
195
00:07:51,451 --> 00:07:53,200
I've done a lot of
dirty work for our Lord.
196
00:07:53,201 --> 00:07:55,200
It's time for him to pay up.
197
00:07:55,201 --> 00:07:57,150
And bring your mother
and sister, too.
198
00:07:57,151 --> 00:08:00,201
You'll look better in his eyes
if they're next to you.
199
00:08:01,531 --> 00:08:04,200
Makes sense.
I mean...
200
00:08:04,201 --> 00:08:05,200
I get that.
201
00:08:05,201 --> 00:08:07,490
You know what?
Mom? Victoria?
202
00:08:07,491 --> 00:08:09,700
We're going to church!
203
00:08:09,701 --> 00:08:12,990
Please tell me that's
the name of a new club.
204
00:08:12,991 --> 00:08:15,110
No, it's the real deal.
205
00:08:15,111 --> 00:08:16,200
It's for the baby.
206
00:08:16,201 --> 00:08:18,031
I'll put on underwear.
207
00:08:28,031 --> 00:08:30,030
I feel a little
nervous being here.
208
00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:33,530
I've done some sinful
things in my life.
209
00:08:33,531 --> 00:08:36,740
I've done sinful things
in the last two hours.
210
00:08:36,741 --> 00:08:40,320
I know, Mom.
We have thin walls.
211
00:08:40,321 --> 00:08:44,030
It doesn't matter.
That's the beauty of religion.
212
00:08:44,031 --> 00:08:45,700
You can do all sorts
of unnatural acts
213
00:08:45,701 --> 00:08:47,320
and come in here and...
(clicks tongue)
214
00:08:47,321 --> 00:08:48,491
clean-slate it.
215
00:08:50,111 --> 00:08:51,650
God is forgiving.
216
00:08:51,651 --> 00:08:53,701
Not the God I pray to.
217
00:08:54,531 --> 00:08:55,740
You want forgiveness?
218
00:08:55,741 --> 00:08:58,200
Go to the hippie Lutheran joint
down the street.
219
00:08:58,201 --> 00:09:01,490
The God that lives here
is angry and vengeful.
220
00:09:01,491 --> 00:09:03,700
Well, then is he really
the one to help us?
221
00:09:03,701 --> 00:09:08,490
Vince has got a guy who can get
us a baby and a 60-inch plasma.
222
00:09:08,491 --> 00:09:09,860
No, this is gonna work.
223
00:09:09,861 --> 00:09:10,860
You just got to do
224
00:09:10,861 --> 00:09:13,360
exactly as I say.
225
00:09:13,361 --> 00:09:15,950
Here.
A St. William Medal.
226
00:09:15,951 --> 00:09:18,610
Patron Saint of adoption.
227
00:09:18,611 --> 00:09:20,030
Are you seriously telling
me that if I wear that,
228
00:09:20,031 --> 00:09:21,110
I'm gonna get a baby?
229
00:09:21,111 --> 00:09:24,320
Don't be ridiculous,
it's not magic.
230
00:09:24,321 --> 00:09:26,280
You got to wear it
for a few days, spit on it,
231
00:09:26,281 --> 00:09:27,650
and bury it in the backyard.
232
00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:29,531
Then you get a baby.
233
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:32,950
Oh, yeah,
that makes sense. Yeah.
234
00:09:32,951 --> 00:09:34,200
Anything we can do?
235
00:09:34,201 --> 00:09:37,070
A rain dance?
Jump in a volcano?
236
00:09:37,071 --> 00:09:40,361
You want to jump in a volcano,
I'm not going to stop you.
237
00:09:42,411 --> 00:09:43,950
Peggy, it's real sweet
of you to try to help,
238
00:09:43,951 --> 00:09:45,360
but I don't think Molly is,
like, really going to...
239
00:09:45,361 --> 00:09:47,820
Bup-bup-bup-bup.
Okay.
240
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:49,860
How many days, how much spit,
241
00:09:49,861 --> 00:09:51,798
and how deep do I have
to bury it?
242
00:10:07,252 --> 00:10:09,461
I can't believe you
dragged me to this place.
243
00:10:09,462 --> 00:10:11,001
Just relax, okay?
We're gonna hear what she says,
244
00:10:11,002 --> 00:10:12,421
and if you don't like it,
we'll leave.
245
00:10:12,422 --> 00:10:14,501
That sounds like the same thing
you said when you tricked me
246
00:10:14,502 --> 00:10:16,291
into going to
that time-share thing.
247
00:10:16,292 --> 00:10:18,171
Man, we had to stay
until the first break
248
00:10:18,172 --> 00:10:19,972
or we wouldn't have got
the rolling suitcases.
249
00:10:21,212 --> 00:10:22,751
Hello, Carl.
250
00:10:22,752 --> 00:10:24,081
I see you brought a friend.
251
00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:25,791
Ah, I told you she was good.
252
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,341
Uh, Mike, this is Madame Vianne.
253
00:10:27,342 --> 00:10:29,381
Madame Vianne, my best friend
and spiritual brother,
254
00:10:29,382 --> 00:10:30,381
Mike Biggs.
255
00:10:30,382 --> 00:10:31,631
Nice to meet you.
256
00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:34,341
But, just to be clear, uh,
I-I didn't want to come.
257
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:35,711
Oh, I sensed that.
258
00:10:35,712 --> 00:10:37,292
- Mm, very intuitive.
- Shut up.
259
00:10:38,422 --> 00:10:39,841
But you wouldn't have
come at all
260
00:10:39,842 --> 00:10:41,582
unless you were
looking for answers.
261
00:10:42,712 --> 00:10:43,922
True.
262
00:10:45,212 --> 00:10:47,341
I sense there's a hole
263
00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:50,461
and you're waiting for
something to fill it.
264
00:10:50,462 --> 00:10:52,001
Something you fear
will never come.
265
00:10:52,002 --> 00:10:53,751
Mm-hmm.
266
00:10:53,752 --> 00:10:55,421
And it's not just affecting you,
267
00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:57,921
it's affecting someone
you love very much.
268
00:10:57,922 --> 00:10:59,501
Mm-hmm.
269
00:10:59,502 --> 00:11:00,921
And if this hole is filled,
270
00:11:00,922 --> 00:11:04,631
it will make the two of you
happier than you've ever been.
271
00:11:04,632 --> 00:11:06,341
(shakily): Mm-hmm.
272
00:11:06,342 --> 00:11:08,421
Didn't I tell you she was good?
273
00:11:08,422 --> 00:11:09,422
(high-pitched): Mm-hmm.
274
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,042
(sighs)
275
00:11:20,752 --> 00:11:22,921
Look, I'm just
gonna be straight.
276
00:11:22,922 --> 00:11:26,421
I, uh, I just jumped
on your bandwagon
277
00:11:26,422 --> 00:11:29,791
this afternoon,
but you know that and...
278
00:11:29,792 --> 00:11:33,171
Had my issues with you
in the past: the...
279
00:11:33,172 --> 00:11:35,631
the wars and the diseases.
280
00:11:35,632 --> 00:11:37,776
I mean, come on, the Cubs.
281
00:11:39,422 --> 00:11:42,131
But I think we can
put all that aside
282
00:11:42,132 --> 00:11:46,081
and just kind of
get Mama a baby.
283
00:11:46,082 --> 00:11:49,382
Amen. Please and...
thank you. Yes.
284
00:11:51,462 --> 00:11:52,711
- What are you doing?
- What?
285
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,251
- Are you praying?
- No.
286
00:11:54,252 --> 00:11:56,581
Well, yeah, praying
that I find the earring
287
00:11:56,582 --> 00:11:57,921
that I dro...
Oh, you know what?
288
00:11:57,922 --> 00:12:00,211
It's right there.
Last place you ever look.
289
00:12:00,212 --> 00:12:03,421
Right in the old... ear.
How was your day?
290
00:12:03,422 --> 00:12:05,421
Good, good, good.
Yours?
291
00:12:05,422 --> 00:12:06,581
Good.
292
00:12:06,582 --> 00:12:07,631
Great.
293
00:12:07,632 --> 00:12:09,081
Excellent.
294
00:12:09,082 --> 00:12:11,171
- Did you talk to Jesus today?
- What?
295
00:12:11,172 --> 00:12:12,581
About fixing the front door?
296
00:12:12,582 --> 00:12:13,841
(Spanish pronunciation):
Oh, Jesus.
297
00:12:13,842 --> 00:12:15,631
- Yeah.
- Uh...
298
00:12:15,632 --> 00:12:18,211
No, I-I didn't
hear back from him.
299
00:12:18,212 --> 00:12:19,421
Well, it's like I always said,
300
00:12:19,422 --> 00:12:20,921
"It'll happen when it happens."
301
00:12:20,922 --> 00:12:21,921
- So true.
- Yeah.
302
00:12:21,922 --> 00:12:23,421
It's in his hands now.
303
00:12:23,422 --> 00:12:25,291
May he be guided
by the oracle of light.
304
00:12:25,292 --> 00:12:26,541
- What?
- What?
305
00:12:26,542 --> 00:12:28,251
Nothing, sweetie.
306
00:12:28,252 --> 00:12:30,251
- Good night.
- Okay.
307
00:12:30,252 --> 00:12:31,788
Good night.
308
00:12:38,752 --> 00:12:40,921
Are you as big of
a mess as I am?
309
00:12:40,922 --> 00:12:42,251
Worse.
310
00:12:42,252 --> 00:12:46,041
(sighs) That makes me
feel so much better.
311
00:12:46,042 --> 00:12:47,082
- Night.
- Good night.
312
00:12:56,962 --> 00:12:58,961
Any word from
the adoption agency?
313
00:12:58,962 --> 00:13:02,171
No, but now I got
a $60 rock in my pocket
314
00:13:02,172 --> 00:13:03,751
that Madame Vianne says
315
00:13:03,752 --> 00:13:05,841
is supposed to attract
positive energy.
316
00:13:05,842 --> 00:13:06,842
(blows raspberry)
317
00:13:08,542 --> 00:13:10,381
Okay, first of all...
318
00:13:10,382 --> 00:13:13,212
- (glass clinks)
- it's not a rock.
319
00:13:15,582 --> 00:13:17,291
It's a amethyst, okay?
320
00:13:17,292 --> 00:13:19,461
And secondly, you're
supposed to be carrying it
321
00:13:19,462 --> 00:13:20,881
on your left side.
322
00:13:20,882 --> 00:13:23,882
(chuckles) It ain't no opal.
What are you thinking?
323
00:13:25,712 --> 00:13:26,921
I feel like a fool.
324
00:13:26,922 --> 00:13:28,081
You are not a fool.
325
00:13:28,082 --> 00:13:29,501
You're just a man
who wants a baby
326
00:13:29,502 --> 00:13:31,341
and you're gonna do whatever it
takes to make that happen.
327
00:13:31,342 --> 00:13:34,131
Even if it means listening
to some crazy gypsy.
328
00:13:34,132 --> 00:13:35,131
Gypsy?
329
00:13:35,132 --> 00:13:36,422
No, she's from Toronto.
330
00:13:38,502 --> 00:13:40,961
Wait, Madame Vianne?
That charlatan?
331
00:13:40,962 --> 00:13:43,541
(sucks lips) Any amateur
magician could do what she does.
332
00:13:43,542 --> 00:13:44,961
Oh, you just got
sour grapes 'cause
333
00:13:44,962 --> 00:13:46,341
she said you'll
never get married.
334
00:13:46,342 --> 00:13:47,671
No.
335
00:13:47,672 --> 00:13:49,922
She didn't say "never,"
she said "not in this lifetime."
336
00:13:51,542 --> 00:13:53,632
Same as when I asked her out.
337
00:13:57,582 --> 00:13:59,461
What do you suppose
she meant when she said
338
00:13:59,462 --> 00:14:03,922
I would never receive a new love
until I let go of an old love?
339
00:14:05,632 --> 00:14:08,211
Don't you even think
of getting rid of me.
340
00:14:08,212 --> 00:14:11,581
Why not?
We had a good run.
341
00:14:11,582 --> 00:14:13,251
Hey, you've never had
a good run.
342
00:14:13,252 --> 00:14:14,252
Okay.
343
00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:17,922
See?
I can be hurtful, too.
344
00:14:19,082 --> 00:14:20,501
Yeah, I just don't get it.
345
00:14:20,502 --> 00:14:22,671
Molly and I have done everything
to get ready for this baby.
346
00:14:22,672 --> 00:14:24,921
We, uh, we got a crib,
a nursery, a Diaper Genie.
347
00:14:24,922 --> 00:14:26,381
I just... I went out and bought
348
00:14:26,382 --> 00:14:28,461
the safest car seat
on the market.
349
00:14:28,462 --> 00:14:30,461
Mm. Well, good luck
wedging it into the backseat
350
00:14:30,462 --> 00:14:31,461
of that muscle car.
351
00:14:31,462 --> 00:14:33,711
(scoffs) I've ridden back there.
352
00:14:33,712 --> 00:14:35,081
Never been more cramped.
353
00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:37,421
And I was smuggled into
this country in an oil drum.
354
00:14:37,422 --> 00:14:39,381
(laughs)
355
00:14:39,382 --> 00:14:41,751
Look, quit trashing
the Challenger.
356
00:14:41,752 --> 00:14:43,581
It's a Hemi V-8
with a Scat Pack.
357
00:14:43,582 --> 00:14:46,081
470 horses under the hood.
358
00:14:46,082 --> 00:14:47,881
Might not be
a practical family car,
359
00:14:47,882 --> 00:14:50,252
but it's my baby and I love it.
360
00:14:55,252 --> 00:14:56,462
(groans)
361
00:14:58,252 --> 00:15:01,422
Knows all.
Sees all.
362
00:15:09,462 --> 00:15:12,461
Okay, we need to go
at least two feet deep.
363
00:15:12,462 --> 00:15:15,041
Then we bury St. William
and we don't dig him up
364
00:15:15,042 --> 00:15:17,421
until he gives us a child.
365
00:15:17,422 --> 00:15:20,381
Are you sure this is
sanctioned by the Church?
366
00:15:20,382 --> 00:15:22,961
Well, anything goes
with that new Pope,
367
00:15:22,962 --> 00:15:25,751
but, you know,
they bury St. Joseph
368
00:15:25,752 --> 00:15:27,171
when they want
to sell their house,
369
00:15:27,172 --> 00:15:29,341
so this just makes sense.
370
00:15:29,342 --> 00:15:30,921
Yeah, yeah, it kind of does.
371
00:15:30,922 --> 00:15:33,251
It feels right.
372
00:15:33,252 --> 00:15:34,631
Uh, two feet exactly,
373
00:15:34,632 --> 00:15:36,961
or who knows what
we're gonna conjure up.
374
00:15:36,962 --> 00:15:38,341
It's my first grandchild,
375
00:15:38,342 --> 00:15:41,131
I don't need it
to have cloven feet.
376
00:15:41,132 --> 00:15:44,791
I think you might be
more baby crazy than I am.
377
00:15:44,792 --> 00:15:46,421
- Oh, maybe I am.
- (softly): Yeah.
378
00:15:46,422 --> 00:15:49,252
I worked two jobs while
I was raising Mikey.
379
00:15:50,462 --> 00:15:52,581
He was usually asleep
before I got home.
380
00:15:52,582 --> 00:15:55,581
Couldn't even be there
to cook him a decent meal.
381
00:15:55,582 --> 00:15:59,501
Half the time he'd fix himself
a bowl of cereal for dinner.
382
00:15:59,502 --> 00:16:02,881
Well, I mean, you were
a single mom.
383
00:16:02,882 --> 00:16:05,212
Plus, he loves cereal.
384
00:16:06,252 --> 00:16:08,582
I just want another run at it
is all.
385
00:16:10,132 --> 00:16:12,131
I may not have been
the perfect mother,
386
00:16:12,132 --> 00:16:14,421
but... I'll tell you this:
387
00:16:14,422 --> 00:16:16,542
I'm gonna be
the best damn grandma.
388
00:16:18,462 --> 00:16:21,251
I don't doubt that.
389
00:16:21,252 --> 00:16:24,211
You shouldn't be so hard
on yourself, Peggy.
390
00:16:24,212 --> 00:16:26,001
I mean, you raised a good man.
391
00:16:26,002 --> 00:16:27,671
He's loving
392
00:16:27,672 --> 00:16:30,541
and kind and level-headed and...
393
00:16:30,542 --> 00:16:31,712
(car horn honks)
394
00:16:35,792 --> 00:16:38,081
Mike, what is this?
Where is the Challenger?
395
00:16:38,082 --> 00:16:40,421
Don't worry, there's
a logical explanation.
396
00:16:40,422 --> 00:16:42,291
Carl's psychic convinced me
to trade it in
397
00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:44,461
so we can get a baby.
398
00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:47,381
You realize
that sounds ridiculous.
399
00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:49,041
Are we digging this hole or not?
400
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:50,921
We'll talk later.
Your mom and I
401
00:16:50,922 --> 00:16:52,381
are burying a saint
in the backyard.
402
00:16:52,382 --> 00:16:54,042
That's how you get a baby.
403
00:16:56,882 --> 00:16:57,921
Well, what are you
talking to me for?
404
00:16:57,922 --> 00:16:59,581
- Get to digging!
- All right.
405
00:16:59,582 --> 00:17:01,211
Oh, here.
Toss in this magic rock.
406
00:17:01,212 --> 00:17:02,581
Can't hurt to hedge our bets.
407
00:17:02,582 --> 00:17:04,421
Hey, Ma.
Come check out the minivan.
408
00:17:04,422 --> 00:17:06,922
It's got 19 cup holders.
409
00:17:19,518 --> 00:17:21,187
Right when I spit in the hole,
410
00:17:21,188 --> 00:17:23,267
that's when I knew
I'd gone off the deep end.
411
00:17:23,268 --> 00:17:24,517
(both chuckle)
412
00:17:24,518 --> 00:17:26,437
No, I went to Carl's psychic.
413
00:17:26,438 --> 00:17:28,227
Carl's psychic.
414
00:17:28,228 --> 00:17:30,017
- Sit with that for a second.
- (chuckles)
415
00:17:30,018 --> 00:17:33,307
We have got to stop
acting like lunatics.
416
00:17:33,308 --> 00:17:34,847
Agreed.
Nothing we're gonna do
417
00:17:34,848 --> 00:17:36,887
is going to make this baby
happen any sooner.
418
00:17:36,888 --> 00:17:41,017
We've done all we can.
All we can do now is wait.
419
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:43,057
Actually there is
something we can do.
420
00:17:43,058 --> 00:17:45,728
We can get out of this house
and away from that damn phone.
421
00:17:47,268 --> 00:17:48,267
Great idea.
422
00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,687
All right, want to hit
a drive-through,
423
00:17:49,688 --> 00:17:51,847
and have dinner
and a movie in the van?
424
00:17:51,848 --> 00:17:53,267
Does that have a DVD player?
425
00:17:53,268 --> 00:17:55,227
I have never been
more in love with you.
426
00:17:55,228 --> 00:17:56,477
(both chuckling)
427
00:17:56,478 --> 00:17:58,187
(phone ringing)
428
00:17:58,188 --> 00:18:00,057
That's got to be a telemarketer.
429
00:18:00,058 --> 00:18:02,347
Well, whoever it is,
they can leave a message,
430
00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:05,268
'cause I've got a date with
my man in the back of a van.
431
00:18:09,148 --> 00:18:12,597
WOMAN: This message is
for Mike Biggs and Molly Flynn.
432
00:18:12,598 --> 00:18:14,847
It's Isabelle
from the adoption center.
433
00:18:14,848 --> 00:18:17,807
Congratulations. We have
a mother who has selected you
434
00:18:17,808 --> 00:18:19,597
as the adoptive parents
of her baby.
435
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:22,307
Uh, my number is 312...
436
00:18:22,308 --> 00:18:23,557
Don't hang up!
Don't hang up!
437
00:18:23,558 --> 00:18:25,558
Don't hang up!
438
00:18:27,906 --> 00:18:30,971
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
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