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Previously on Mike & Molly...
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This is Frannie.
3
00:00:02,890 --> 00:00:03,889
Former student of mine.
4
00:00:03,890 --> 00:00:05,849
- She's homeless.
- And pregnant.
5
00:00:05,850 --> 00:00:07,440
And she's telling us
how she robs cars.
6
00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:11,850
(car alarm chirps
in the distance)
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00:00:13,140 --> 00:00:14,439
You're gonna come home with me
8
00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:16,179
and you can stay there
until we figure this out.
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00:00:16,180 --> 00:00:18,309
God, no, no,
you don't have to do that.
10
00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:19,639
I certainly am not gonna
put you out on the street
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00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:20,979
to raise a baby.
12
00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:22,479
Oh, I'm-I'm not
keeping the baby.
13
00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:23,769
I'm giving it up.
14
00:00:23,770 --> 00:00:25,019
Oh.
15
00:00:25,020 --> 00:00:26,269
I want it to have a safe home
16
00:00:26,270 --> 00:00:28,559
and a chance at a good life.
17
00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:29,770
I'll take it.
18
00:00:31,180 --> 00:00:32,440
I'll take that baby.
19
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:35,350
I made a promise to you two.
20
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:37,939
If you want this baby
21
00:00:37,940 --> 00:00:41,639
half as much as I do, you are...
22
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:45,269
never gonna forgive yourself
if you keep this promise.
23
00:00:45,270 --> 00:00:46,729
We're still going to adopt.
24
00:00:46,730 --> 00:00:48,099
There's a baby out there
25
00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:49,559
- with our name on it.
- Yeah.
26
00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:51,679
Before you know it, we'll be up
all hours of the night...
27
00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:52,679
(chuckles)
28
00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:54,100
...knee-deep in dirty diapers.
29
00:00:57,270 --> 00:00:59,309
The good thing about adoption
30
00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:01,599
is we can all be part
of the picking process.
31
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:04,349
No we can't. Who said that?
32
00:01:04,350 --> 00:01:07,479
Hey, you always ask my opinion
when we go shoe shopping.
33
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:09,019
How is this different?
34
00:01:09,020 --> 00:01:12,139
It's a human being.
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Exactly.
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00:01:13,890 --> 00:01:15,487
Non-refundable.
37
00:01:17,350 --> 00:01:18,519
I say we get a Sagittarius baby.
38
00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:19,769
Anything but a Libra.
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00:01:19,770 --> 00:01:21,769
They're very unreliable.
40
00:01:21,770 --> 00:01:23,229
Wait a minute, you're a Libra.
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00:01:23,230 --> 00:01:24,939
I guess this is my way of saying
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00:01:24,940 --> 00:01:26,940
I can't drive you
to the dentist tomorrow.
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00:01:28,180 --> 00:01:30,679
Hey. None of you
have a say in this, all right?
44
00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:32,349
Molly and I want
another guy in the house.
45
00:01:32,350 --> 00:01:34,229
Preferably a left-handed pitcher
46
00:01:34,230 --> 00:01:36,769
who's got a little movement
on his splitter.
47
00:01:36,770 --> 00:01:39,309
I don't remember
having that conversation.
48
00:01:39,310 --> 00:01:41,980
You said "healthy baby"...
that's where my head went.
49
00:01:43,180 --> 00:01:44,729
This is the color
I was talking about.
50
00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,599
- Color for what?
- The baby.
51
00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:50,559
I was thinking we could go
with a nice caramel coffee.
52
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:52,559
Aw, and he matches the drapes.
53
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:56,139
Great, so I'll just tell
the people at the adoption agency
54
00:01:56,140 --> 00:01:57,809
that we're looking
for a left-handed,
55
00:01:57,810 --> 00:02:01,479
Sagittarius, baby boy that doesn't
clash with the curtains.
56
00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,019
Hey, wait a minute.
57
00:02:03,020 --> 00:02:05,770
A lot of great pitching's been
coming out of Latin America.
58
00:02:07,140 --> 00:02:08,940
That's him right there.
59
00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:14,559
♪ La, la-ba-dee-da ♪
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00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,439
♪ La, la-ba-dee-da ♪
61
00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:20,349
♪ For the first time
in my life ♪
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00:02:20,350 --> 00:02:22,229
♪ I see love ♪
63
00:02:22,230 --> 00:02:24,269
♪ I see love ♪
64
00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:27,139
♪ For the first time
in my life ♪
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00:02:27,140 --> 00:02:28,709
♪ I see love ♪
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00:02:28,710 --> 00:02:32,554
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
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I feel like an idiot.
68
00:02:43,702 --> 00:02:45,411
I'm the only guy here
with a tie.
69
00:02:45,412 --> 00:02:46,541
No, you look handsome
70
00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:48,871
and that tie may be just
the thing that gives us
71
00:02:48,872 --> 00:02:50,622
the baby edge over
all these other couples.
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00:02:52,162 --> 00:02:54,291
Well, the tie ain't
gonna help if it's between us
73
00:02:54,292 --> 00:02:56,421
and Tom Brady and Gazelle
over there.
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00:02:58,622 --> 00:03:01,371
Ah, look at him, huh?
Got the hands of a quarterback,
75
00:03:01,372 --> 00:03:03,162
and the teeth
of a game show host.
76
00:03:05,042 --> 00:03:07,462
I'm more worried about
these two suck ups over here,
77
00:03:09,486 --> 00:03:12,371
- Damn it, should we pray, too?
- It's...
78
00:03:12,372 --> 00:03:16,001
It's too late, they're
already working that shtick.
79
00:03:16,002 --> 00:03:18,411
Well, I think we should talk
game plan before we go in there.
80
00:03:18,412 --> 00:03:19,751
- I say we play it calm.
- (sighs)
81
00:03:19,752 --> 00:03:21,121
If we seem too eager,
82
00:03:21,122 --> 00:03:22,871
they're gonna try
to unload a lemon on us.
83
00:03:22,872 --> 00:03:27,411
Okay, you know we're trying to
get a baby, not a used Chevy.
84
00:03:27,412 --> 00:03:28,501
Yeah, I'm just saying.
85
00:03:28,502 --> 00:03:30,541
I mean, if they try
to give us a hard sell,
86
00:03:30,542 --> 00:03:31,831
we got to be prepared to walk.
87
00:03:31,832 --> 00:03:33,962
I bet we can
get a good one online.
88
00:03:35,502 --> 00:03:38,501
Okay, Mike, we need to forget
this and just be ourselves.
89
00:03:38,502 --> 00:03:41,291
And show these people
that we are good and honest
90
00:03:41,292 --> 00:03:44,541
and we're not into playing silly
games, we just want a baby.
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00:03:44,542 --> 00:03:46,541
Molly Flynn and Mike Biggs?
92
00:03:46,542 --> 00:03:50,831
Oh, God... who...
art in heaven.
93
00:03:50,832 --> 00:03:52,792
Hallowed be thy name.
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00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:57,161
Just give us a second,
95
00:03:57,162 --> 00:03:59,582
we're speaking
with our Lord. (chuckles)
96
00:04:08,502 --> 00:04:11,501
Did I mention I was
Teacher of the Year?
97
00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:13,542
You did.
98
00:04:15,502 --> 00:04:17,462
Brought home
the Golden Apple twice.
99
00:04:18,962 --> 00:04:22,201
I don't know if it matters,
but it's never been done before...
100
00:04:22,202 --> 00:04:24,122
or since.
101
00:04:25,462 --> 00:04:28,461
And, uh,
I am a decorated police officer.
102
00:04:28,462 --> 00:04:31,582
Most traffic tickets given
in the month of June.
103
00:04:33,252 --> 00:04:35,791
Sorry if you got caught up
in that, just doing my job.
104
00:04:35,792 --> 00:04:39,191
(both laughing nervously)
105
00:04:41,372 --> 00:04:43,621
Well, thank you both
for coming in.
106
00:04:43,622 --> 00:04:45,791
Wait, the interview's over?
107
00:04:45,792 --> 00:04:46,791
It is.
108
00:04:46,792 --> 00:04:48,201
Oh, did-did I happen
to mention that
109
00:04:48,202 --> 00:04:49,371
I memorized Good Night Moon?
110
00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:50,791
"In the great, green room
there was a...
111
00:04:50,792 --> 00:04:52,411
there was a balloon, and, um..."
112
00:04:52,412 --> 00:04:54,831
There's a... I know
there's-there's bears
113
00:04:54,832 --> 00:04:56,541
and, there's, like, a bowl
of por... there's mush!
114
00:04:56,542 --> 00:04:57,541
I know there's mush.
115
00:04:57,542 --> 00:04:58,911
You don't need to do that.
116
00:04:58,912 --> 00:05:01,461
Listen, I may have been
playing this too cool.
117
00:05:01,462 --> 00:05:03,501
We really want to
make this happen.
118
00:05:03,502 --> 00:05:04,501
- Yeah.
- Get your manager.
119
00:05:04,502 --> 00:05:05,501
We're ready to leave here...
120
00:05:05,502 --> 00:05:06,791
with a baby today.
121
00:05:06,792 --> 00:05:08,701
Today.
122
00:05:08,702 --> 00:05:11,501
Don't worry.
You guys did very well.
123
00:05:11,502 --> 00:05:13,831
I think you're perfect
candidates for adoption.
124
00:05:13,832 --> 00:05:14,831
- Oh, that's great.
- (sighs)
125
00:05:14,832 --> 00:05:16,252
Thank you so much.
126
00:05:17,582 --> 00:05:21,292
So, the next thing for us to do
is schedule a home visit.
127
00:05:24,582 --> 00:05:26,251
Whose home?
128
00:05:26,252 --> 00:05:27,371
Your home.
129
00:05:27,372 --> 00:05:29,702
Y-you mean where we live?
130
00:05:31,042 --> 00:05:34,251
Yes, we just need to meet
all of your family members
131
00:05:34,252 --> 00:05:37,202
and make sure it's a healthy
environment for a child.
132
00:05:40,582 --> 00:05:42,962
Is there a day that works
better than the others?
133
00:05:45,042 --> 00:05:46,042
Nope.
134
00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:56,661
I'm telling you, something
ain't right back there.
135
00:05:56,662 --> 00:06:00,411
Are we looking at the pimple
or the spider bite?
136
00:06:00,412 --> 00:06:01,961
'Cause either way, we need
to call the dermatologist
137
00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:04,161
or the Orkin man.
138
00:06:04,162 --> 00:06:06,541
I'm looking at this raised mole.
139
00:06:06,542 --> 00:06:08,502
Looks like you
slept on a Milk Dud.
140
00:06:09,542 --> 00:06:11,371
Whatever it is, it's throbbing.
141
00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:14,581
Press them one at a time...
when I scream, you'll know.
142
00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:15,581
Hey.
143
00:06:15,582 --> 00:06:17,201
VICTORIA: There they are.
144
00:06:17,202 --> 00:06:18,541
Where's my grand-baby?
145
00:06:18,542 --> 00:06:21,661
We were just cleaning up
my saddle for piggyback rides.
146
00:06:21,662 --> 00:06:25,371
Okay, well, we're not
quite there yet.
147
00:06:25,372 --> 00:06:26,001
However, she did say that
148
00:06:26,002 --> 00:06:28,541
Mike and I were excellent
candidates for an adoption.
149
00:06:28,542 --> 00:06:30,871
- Oh, that's wonderful! - Come on.
- Yay! I knew it! I knew it!
150
00:06:30,872 --> 00:06:32,871
Yeah, but, you know, we still
have a pretty big hurdle
151
00:06:32,872 --> 00:06:34,872
to get over, actually.
152
00:06:35,872 --> 00:06:37,041
Three of 'em.
(chuckle)
153
00:06:37,042 --> 00:06:39,001
(Molly clears her throat)
154
00:06:39,002 --> 00:06:41,121
Yeah, what Mol is saying is
155
00:06:41,122 --> 00:06:43,541
that there are some other
aspects of the house
156
00:06:43,542 --> 00:06:46,109
that we have to
make more presentable.
157
00:06:47,082 --> 00:06:48,911
Are you talking about
the dust bunnies under my bed?
158
00:06:48,912 --> 00:06:51,292
More like the weed bunny
that sleeps on top of it.
159
00:06:52,752 --> 00:06:54,041
Um...
160
00:06:54,042 --> 00:06:56,961
Look, we...
we love you so much
161
00:06:56,962 --> 00:07:01,331
and we would never want
to change anything about you,
162
00:07:01,332 --> 00:07:02,961
except, on Saturday,
163
00:07:02,962 --> 00:07:05,837
when we need to change
everything about you.
164
00:07:07,462 --> 00:07:08,501
Not everything.
165
00:07:08,502 --> 00:07:10,201
Just the, uh...
166
00:07:10,202 --> 00:07:14,042
the drugs and the drinking
and the filthy language.
167
00:07:15,252 --> 00:07:17,042
That is everything.
168
00:07:17,832 --> 00:07:19,201
Well, then that's...
169
00:07:19,202 --> 00:07:21,978
what we're asking you to do.
170
00:07:24,412 --> 00:07:25,961
- Sure. - All right.
- Okay.
171
00:07:25,962 --> 00:07:27,961
Wait, really?
172
00:07:27,962 --> 00:07:30,946
It's a little insulting,
but it makes a lot of sense.
173
00:07:32,542 --> 00:07:34,622
We should start by
getting rid of all the booze.
174
00:07:40,122 --> 00:07:42,624
- To the baby. - To the baby!
- To the baby!
175
00:07:48,002 --> 00:07:49,411
I'm telling you,
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00:07:49,412 --> 00:07:51,871
Molly's family has been taking
this like champs.
177
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:55,081
They even let us do
a full sweep of their bedrooms.
178
00:07:55,082 --> 00:07:56,201
You find anything?
179
00:07:56,202 --> 00:07:57,662
We found everything.
180
00:07:59,372 --> 00:08:02,661
Pot, illegal prescription
pills, fireworks.
181
00:08:02,662 --> 00:08:04,980
It's like searching a car
coming back from Tijuana.
182
00:08:06,462 --> 00:08:08,121
Hey, uh, by the way,
183
00:08:08,122 --> 00:08:11,001
it'd be great if you could come
by the house on Saturday, too.
184
00:08:11,002 --> 00:08:14,614
Might help the adoption lady to
see how diverse my friends are.
185
00:08:16,082 --> 00:08:17,081
Diverse?
186
00:08:17,082 --> 00:08:18,621
Come on, you know what I mean?
187
00:08:18,622 --> 00:08:20,081
I certainly do.
188
00:08:20,082 --> 00:08:22,661
It's the "Oh, some of my best
friends are black" line.
189
00:08:22,662 --> 00:08:27,121
Yeah, but in my case,
that's actually true, see?
190
00:08:27,122 --> 00:08:29,201
So, if that somehow puts me
in a better light,
191
00:08:29,202 --> 00:08:31,961
that's on society, not me.
192
00:08:31,962 --> 00:08:33,411
And you want to exploit that.
193
00:08:33,412 --> 00:08:36,541
Yes, I do.
194
00:08:36,542 --> 00:08:38,722
For a baby.
195
00:08:39,502 --> 00:08:41,001
Man, how can I say no to that?
196
00:08:41,002 --> 00:08:43,161
You can't because
you're my best friend.
197
00:08:43,162 --> 00:08:45,081
And we're right back
where we started.
198
00:08:45,082 --> 00:08:46,371
Ah.
199
00:08:46,372 --> 00:08:49,081
Uh, what time did you say you
wanted me there on Saturday?
200
00:08:49,082 --> 00:08:50,411
Seriously?
201
00:08:50,412 --> 00:08:51,961
It's not what you think.
202
00:08:51,962 --> 00:08:53,831
I invited Samuel
because he's foreign.
203
00:08:53,832 --> 00:08:56,573
Gives me a little
international flavor.
204
00:08:57,292 --> 00:08:59,292
4:00.
205
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:07,371
Isn't it a little premature
to be setting up the crib?
206
00:09:07,372 --> 00:09:09,961
Like lighting a bong
before you load the bowl.
207
00:09:09,962 --> 00:09:11,411
Okay. Now,
208
00:09:11,412 --> 00:09:13,831
I love your colorful analogies,
209
00:09:13,832 --> 00:09:15,291
but when
the adoption lady comes,
210
00:09:15,292 --> 00:09:17,831
let's keep those all in here,
211
00:09:17,832 --> 00:09:19,596
so they never come out here.
212
00:09:20,582 --> 00:09:21,831
Relax.
213
00:09:21,832 --> 00:09:24,121
I'll have her take a Xanax
before they get here.
214
00:09:24,122 --> 00:09:26,661
No, no pills, no booze, no weed.
215
00:09:26,662 --> 00:09:29,751
It's like a mother-daughter
detox. It'll be fun.
216
00:09:29,752 --> 00:09:31,621
Fine, but if I'm not drinking,
217
00:09:31,622 --> 00:09:34,791
I can't be held responsible
for my actions.
218
00:09:34,792 --> 00:09:36,041
Hey, trust me.
219
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:38,081
The second that adoption lady
is out the door,
220
00:09:38,082 --> 00:09:40,871
I'll be elbow-deep in mojitos,
but until then,
221
00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:43,751
we've got to prove
that this house is safe,
222
00:09:43,752 --> 00:09:45,291
and secure, and baby ready.
223
00:09:45,292 --> 00:09:46,541
What are you talking about?
224
00:09:46,542 --> 00:09:48,621
This is the same house
you two grew up in
225
00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:50,041
and you both survived.
226
00:09:50,042 --> 00:09:51,041
Yeah, "survived,"
227
00:09:51,042 --> 00:09:53,581
which implies a chance of death.
228
00:09:53,582 --> 00:09:56,161
I admit, you girls
had some close calls.
229
00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:59,461
Remember the fort you
made out of that old fridge?
230
00:09:59,462 --> 00:10:01,751
Was that the day I blacked
out and met the fireman?
231
00:10:01,752 --> 00:10:04,161
One of 'em.
232
00:10:04,162 --> 00:10:05,961
Okay, no childhood stories.
233
00:10:05,962 --> 00:10:07,121
Actually, you know what?
Let's make it easy.
234
00:10:07,122 --> 00:10:08,411
No stories at all.
235
00:10:08,412 --> 00:10:11,001
It's starting to sound like you
don't want us to say anything.
236
00:10:11,002 --> 00:10:12,001
See?
237
00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:14,317
Victoria gets it.
238
00:10:15,792 --> 00:10:18,121
Now, come on, these adoption
people are trained
239
00:10:18,122 --> 00:10:20,541
to-to see hazards
that we're not even aware of.
240
00:10:20,542 --> 00:10:23,161
I mean, uncovered outlets
and sharp table corners,
241
00:10:23,162 --> 00:10:24,161
and, look.
242
00:10:24,162 --> 00:10:25,411
Look at these seashells.
243
00:10:25,412 --> 00:10:26,411
What do you see?
244
00:10:26,412 --> 00:10:29,124
A crappy Christmas gift
from Mom.
245
00:10:29,384 --> 00:10:32,161
Yes, but, to a baby?
246
00:10:32,162 --> 00:10:34,041
This is a fun thing
to put in your mouth.
247
00:10:34,042 --> 00:10:37,251
(choking)
248
00:10:37,252 --> 00:10:38,251
Mol!
249
00:10:38,252 --> 00:10:40,961
(coughs)
250
00:10:40,962 --> 00:10:42,911
(gasps)
251
00:10:42,912 --> 00:10:45,122
(raspy):
I think I made my point.
252
00:10:52,082 --> 00:10:53,690
Okay, Victoria, blouse.
253
00:10:54,412 --> 00:10:55,751
Carl, gum.
254
00:10:55,752 --> 00:10:58,001
- (spits)
- Okay.
255
00:10:58,002 --> 00:10:59,661
Now, the adoption
lady's name is Karen.
256
00:10:59,662 --> 00:11:01,041
She is very nice.
257
00:11:01,042 --> 00:11:02,251
There are gonna be times where
258
00:11:02,252 --> 00:11:05,081
your instinct will be
to talk to her.
259
00:11:05,082 --> 00:11:07,371
Ignore those instincts.
260
00:11:07,372 --> 00:11:09,041
I think my neck size has changed
261
00:11:09,042 --> 00:11:10,961
since I bought this shirt
15 years ago.
262
00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,251
- Can you breathe?
- Yeah.
263
00:11:12,252 --> 00:11:14,001
You're fine.
264
00:11:14,002 --> 00:11:16,201
I told you to go
with the open shirt and scarf,
265
00:11:16,202 --> 00:11:18,121
like Jon Voight.
266
00:11:18,122 --> 00:11:19,291
Quit trying to
make me Jon Voight.
267
00:11:19,292 --> 00:11:21,122
I'll never be Jon Voight!
268
00:11:22,622 --> 00:11:24,461
Okay, here we go.
269
00:11:24,462 --> 00:11:26,081
Ooh. Don't mind if I do.
270
00:11:26,082 --> 00:11:28,041
I do, so don't.
271
00:11:28,042 --> 00:11:29,911
But I just wanted
a jicama stick.
272
00:11:29,912 --> 00:11:31,411
No don't,
they're stacked perfectly.
273
00:11:31,412 --> 00:11:33,411
- Relax, I'm good at Jenga.
- Hey!
274
00:11:33,412 --> 00:11:35,201
Hands off the jicama.
275
00:11:35,202 --> 00:11:37,041
MOLLY: Thank you.
276
00:11:37,042 --> 00:11:38,791
Okay, now before we get started,
277
00:11:38,792 --> 00:11:41,461
I-I just want you all
to know that I love you
278
00:11:41,462 --> 00:11:43,001
- Hmm.
- Very much,
279
00:11:43,002 --> 00:11:44,661
and if any one of you
280
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:47,121
screws me out of getting
my hands on a baby...
281
00:11:47,122 --> 00:11:49,162
(quietly):
there we will be blood.
282
00:11:49,962 --> 00:11:50,961
(doorbell rings)
283
00:11:50,962 --> 00:11:52,751
(gasps) Okay.
284
00:11:52,752 --> 00:11:54,752
Smiles everyone.
Let's have fun.
285
00:11:56,792 --> 00:11:57,871
Hello.
286
00:11:57,872 --> 00:11:59,371
(all groaning)
287
00:11:59,372 --> 00:12:00,581
You're late.
288
00:12:00,582 --> 00:12:02,041
For some reason,
you asked the only person
289
00:12:02,042 --> 00:12:03,961
coming on bicycle to bring ice.
290
00:12:03,962 --> 00:12:05,461
You only brought one bag?
291
00:12:05,462 --> 00:12:09,001
Just get in here and take a seat
with the rest of the ding-dongs.
292
00:12:09,002 --> 00:12:10,872
- (door slams)
- (doorbell rings)
293
00:12:12,792 --> 00:12:13,911
Hello!
294
00:12:13,912 --> 00:12:17,232
Look who it is.
What a pleasant surprise.
295
00:12:38,448 --> 00:12:39,448
Okay, Joyce.
296
00:12:41,908 --> 00:12:44,118
I noticed your home
has a nice-sized backyard.
297
00:12:48,658 --> 00:12:50,118
Thank you.
298
00:12:51,488 --> 00:12:54,527
I think what my mother is trying
to say is that it will be
299
00:12:54,528 --> 00:12:57,605
a wonderful place
for our child to play.
300
00:12:58,698 --> 00:13:01,158
Thank you.
301
00:13:03,368 --> 00:13:04,367
Jicama stick?
302
00:13:04,368 --> 00:13:06,277
Oh, no thank you.
303
00:13:06,278 --> 00:13:07,737
You sure? Maybe just one
so, you know,
304
00:13:07,738 --> 00:13:10,237
- we can all get started.
- (Molly laughs nervously)
305
00:13:10,238 --> 00:13:12,577
Carl, you know that no one
here needs permission
306
00:13:12,578 --> 00:13:14,157
to enjoy the hors d'oeuvres.
307
00:13:14,158 --> 00:13:17,407
(all murmuring in excitement)
308
00:13:17,408 --> 00:13:19,487
Uh, Karen, I don't know
if you noticed,
309
00:13:19,488 --> 00:13:22,527
but the backyard
is safely fenced in.
310
00:13:22,528 --> 00:13:24,407
It was built with the help
of my two main men here:
311
00:13:24,408 --> 00:13:25,577
Carl and Samuel.
312
00:13:25,578 --> 00:13:28,487
Mm-hmm. Mike and I have
been partners for years.
313
00:13:28,488 --> 00:13:29,617
And we live together.
314
00:13:29,618 --> 00:13:31,578
- But not as a couple.
- Yeah.
315
00:13:32,908 --> 00:13:34,487
We're not gay, we're just here
'cause we're black.
316
00:13:34,488 --> 00:13:35,487
Oh, God.
317
00:13:41,448 --> 00:13:43,197
And I'm here
'cause I'm the sister.
318
00:13:43,198 --> 00:13:44,778
Which makes me the aunt.
319
00:13:45,988 --> 00:13:48,488
That's all I'm allowed to say.
320
00:13:50,488 --> 00:13:51,907
(chuckles nervously) Okay,
321
00:13:51,908 --> 00:13:53,947
well, now that you've met
the whole gang,
322
00:13:53,948 --> 00:13:55,277
why don't I take you upstairs
323
00:13:55,278 --> 00:13:56,447
and show you where
the baby's gonna sleep.
324
00:13:56,448 --> 00:13:58,408
Sounds good.
325
00:14:02,368 --> 00:14:03,947
Excuse me.
326
00:14:03,948 --> 00:14:05,948
I think you dropped a $100 bill.
327
00:14:07,477 --> 00:14:09,527
No, I-I didn't.
328
00:14:09,528 --> 00:14:12,487
You sure? People lose track
of stuff all the time.
329
00:14:12,488 --> 00:14:15,778
$100 bills...
Third World babies.
330
00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:20,818
It's mine.
331
00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:26,408
Thank you for your honesty.
332
00:14:31,578 --> 00:14:35,407
Okay, uh, here is the crib
where the baby will sleep.
333
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:37,367
It got five stars for safety
334
00:14:37,368 --> 00:14:39,117
and, I'll tell you what,
if there's a tornado,
335
00:14:39,118 --> 00:14:40,407
forget the basement,
336
00:14:40,408 --> 00:14:41,617
I'm riding out the storm
in this son of a gun.
337
00:14:41,618 --> 00:14:43,197
(both chuckle)
338
00:14:43,198 --> 00:14:46,487
Well, I can see you've done
a lot of work and research.
339
00:14:46,488 --> 00:14:48,367
Oh, believe me, we are prepared.
340
00:14:48,368 --> 00:14:50,408
We're serious buyers.
We're not just looky-loos.
341
00:14:51,278 --> 00:14:52,527
KAREN: Good to know.
342
00:14:52,528 --> 00:14:54,697
Now, can I see the room
the baby will stay in
343
00:14:54,698 --> 00:14:56,277
when it outgrows the crib?
344
00:14:56,278 --> 00:14:57,577
Oh.
345
00:14:57,578 --> 00:14:59,447
Oh, we really hadn't
thought about that yet.
346
00:14:59,448 --> 00:15:01,577
Um, is-is that an issue?
347
00:15:01,578 --> 00:15:04,488
Well, I only ask because...
348
00:15:07,203 --> 00:15:08,368
(mouthing)
349
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:15,697
It seems like you already have
a pretty full house here.
350
00:15:15,698 --> 00:15:17,777
Five people living
in a three bedroom home.
351
00:15:17,778 --> 00:15:19,577
May I say something?
352
00:15:19,578 --> 00:15:21,407
No.
353
00:15:21,408 --> 00:15:24,577
I myself was raised in a two
bedroom, with three brothers,
354
00:15:24,578 --> 00:15:26,987
two sisters, my Grammy, Mom,
Dad, and Uncle Sal,
355
00:15:26,988 --> 00:15:28,948
who I later learned
was my real father.
356
00:15:30,868 --> 00:15:34,407
A small house actually
brought us closer together.
357
00:15:34,408 --> 00:15:37,407
Especially Mom and Uncle Sal.
358
00:15:37,408 --> 00:15:41,577
Isn't the plight of
the Italian immigrant fascinating?
359
00:15:41,578 --> 00:15:43,447
- Isn't it?
- What he's saying is
360
00:15:43,448 --> 00:15:45,447
kids don't need that much space.
361
00:15:45,448 --> 00:15:49,447
Molly slept in a drawer for two
years before we moved in here.
362
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:51,657
One room. When my husband
and I wanted to have sex,
363
00:15:51,658 --> 00:15:53,908
we just closed the drawer.
364
00:15:55,368 --> 00:15:59,817
Aw, closed the drawer.
365
00:15:59,818 --> 00:16:02,237
I'm sorry.
366
00:16:02,238 --> 00:16:03,657
We just want to
make sure we're finding
367
00:16:03,658 --> 00:16:06,237
the best homes for our babies.
368
00:16:06,238 --> 00:16:07,237
Oh. (chuckles)
369
00:16:07,238 --> 00:16:08,527
Well, look no further,
370
00:16:08,528 --> 00:16:10,367
'cause this house is filled
with nothing but love.
371
00:16:10,368 --> 00:16:11,407
It's true and he should know,
372
00:16:11,408 --> 00:16:12,697
he used to be my lover.
373
00:16:12,698 --> 00:16:14,277
Oh, those were good times.
374
00:16:14,278 --> 00:16:15,487
The pleasure was worth the pain.
375
00:16:15,488 --> 00:16:16,407
I'd do it all over again.
376
00:16:16,408 --> 00:16:18,407
- Not here. Not now!
- Okay, okay, okay.
377
00:16:18,408 --> 00:16:19,618
Look, Karen, I...
378
00:16:21,658 --> 00:16:23,367
I realize that this
isn't the biggest house
379
00:16:23,368 --> 00:16:26,817
and maybe space will be
an issue down the road,
380
00:16:26,818 --> 00:16:28,577
but don't you think
it's more important that
381
00:16:28,578 --> 00:16:29,987
you have two people here
382
00:16:29,988 --> 00:16:32,617
that-that really,
truly love each other?
383
00:16:32,618 --> 00:16:35,197
Yeah, we are totally
committed to creating
384
00:16:35,198 --> 00:16:38,237
a healthy and safe environment
for this child.
385
00:16:38,238 --> 00:16:40,488
I promise you, we will
take good care of it.
386
00:16:47,818 --> 00:16:49,117
Wow.
387
00:16:49,118 --> 00:16:51,078
What horrible timing.
388
00:16:59,528 --> 00:17:01,408
Okay, well, she didn't say no.
389
00:17:02,448 --> 00:17:05,617
She didn't say anything,
she just ran out.
390
00:17:05,618 --> 00:17:07,868
Maybe she was in
a hurry to approve us.
391
00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:11,868
We guillotined a baby doll.
392
00:17:13,371 --> 00:17:17,157
The worst part is I can't even
blame my family for all this.
393
00:17:17,158 --> 00:17:19,367
I can.
394
00:17:19,368 --> 00:17:21,407
All right, maybe
they didn't exactly help,
395
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:23,867
but we did this to ourselves.
396
00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:26,867
I mean, why couldn't I just
let Carl have some jicama?
397
00:17:26,868 --> 00:17:28,197
(laughs)
398
00:17:28,198 --> 00:17:30,157
You were nervous,
and it just shows
399
00:17:30,158 --> 00:17:32,737
how important this
whole thing is to you.
400
00:17:32,738 --> 00:17:34,027
And you.
401
00:17:34,028 --> 00:17:36,907
It'll happen when it happens.
402
00:17:36,908 --> 00:17:38,577
Until that time comes,
403
00:17:38,578 --> 00:17:41,448
we'll... we'll just enjoy
our time together.
404
00:17:42,488 --> 00:17:44,157
To us.
405
00:17:44,158 --> 00:17:45,488
- To us.
- (bottles clink)
406
00:17:53,278 --> 00:17:55,158
I want a baby so damn bad.
407
00:17:56,738 --> 00:17:58,778
(quietly): Me, too.
408
00:18:08,028 --> 00:18:11,317
(sighs)
God, look at all the jicama.
409
00:18:11,318 --> 00:18:12,948
I'm a monster.
410
00:18:14,408 --> 00:18:17,407
Jicama.
That's a weird word, jicama.
411
00:18:17,408 --> 00:18:19,488
Jicama!
412
00:18:20,438 --> 00:18:22,487
Are you drunk?
413
00:18:22,488 --> 00:18:23,487
Yes.
414
00:18:23,488 --> 00:18:25,407
I'm drunk-ama.
415
00:18:25,408 --> 00:18:27,197
VICTORIA: Molly, is that you?
416
00:18:27,198 --> 00:18:28,407
Yeah.
417
00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:29,487
VICTORIA: Come up to my room.
418
00:18:29,488 --> 00:18:31,317
You got to see what we did.
419
00:18:31,318 --> 00:18:33,487
Maybe they finally got
that thing off of Vince's back.
420
00:18:33,488 --> 00:18:35,367
I hope so, looks like
he's sleeping on a Milk Dud.
421
00:18:35,368 --> 00:18:36,618
(giggles)
422
00:18:38,658 --> 00:18:40,407
(knocks)
423
00:18:40,408 --> 00:18:42,407
Ta-da!
424
00:18:42,408 --> 00:18:44,697
Oh, my God, what did you do?
425
00:18:44,698 --> 00:18:46,448
Welcome to the nursery.
426
00:18:47,318 --> 00:18:48,777
Don't worry, I fixed the crib.
427
00:18:48,778 --> 00:18:51,277
It was missing a screw and you
put the rail in upside down,
428
00:18:51,278 --> 00:18:52,988
which created
an instrument of death.
429
00:18:54,368 --> 00:18:56,657
But other than that,
you did a great job.
430
00:18:56,658 --> 00:18:59,027
And I'm moving to the basement.
431
00:18:59,028 --> 00:19:01,487
I'm thinking circular couch,
lots of pillows.
432
00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:04,908
I want that whole
I Dream of Jeannie bottle vibe.
433
00:19:06,278 --> 00:19:08,527
This is the sweetest,
most amazing thing
434
00:19:08,528 --> 00:19:10,577
anybody has ever done for us.
435
00:19:10,578 --> 00:19:11,947
I mean... Oh!
436
00:19:11,948 --> 00:19:14,527
Mike, look, tiny socks.
437
00:19:14,528 --> 00:19:15,987
You know how I'm always saying
438
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,947
I want to move the hell
out of this house?
439
00:19:18,948 --> 00:19:21,277
(chuckling):
I don't want to go anywhere.
440
00:19:21,278 --> 00:19:22,618
I love you weirdos.
441
00:19:23,658 --> 00:19:24,867
Are you drunk?
442
00:19:24,868 --> 00:19:26,725
Yeah, it's really hitting me.
443
00:19:37,992 --> 00:19:40,791
I got to say, I appreciate
you being so thorough and open.
444
00:19:40,792 --> 00:19:43,371
Most couples hoping to adopt
aren't as forthcoming.
445
00:19:43,372 --> 00:19:45,241
Well, we're new to this agency
446
00:19:45,242 --> 00:19:47,411
and we just want you
to know who we are,
447
00:19:47,412 --> 00:19:49,161
warts and all.
448
00:19:49,162 --> 00:19:50,991
Yeah, that's right.
I mean, all we can do
449
00:19:50,992 --> 00:19:53,491
is be honest with our answers
and hope for the best.
450
00:19:53,492 --> 00:19:55,121
WOMAN: Well, you're doing great.
451
00:19:55,122 --> 00:19:57,331
So, about your living
situation...
452
00:19:57,332 --> 00:19:59,332
- We live alone.
- Just the two of us.
453
00:20:03,345 --> 00:20:06,403
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
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