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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,351 --> 00:00:05,351 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2 00:00:05,353 --> 00:00:09,489 (DRUMROLL) 3 00:00:09,491 --> 00:00:13,996 (FANFARE PLAYING) 4 00:00:22,705 --> 00:00:24,840 (MUSIC ENDS) 5 00:00:34,517 --> 00:00:37,784 ♪ Yes, I ride the lightning, yes, I'm on the go ♪ 6 00:00:37,786 --> 00:00:41,287 ♪ And when I go down slow, I need more power now ♪ 7 00:00:41,289 --> 00:00:44,223 ♪ It keeps me damn lucky, yes, I just won't stop ♪ 8 00:00:44,225 --> 00:00:48,429 ♪ I'm lit to pop, oh, yes, I got the power now ♪ 9 00:00:48,431 --> 00:00:52,869 ♪ ♪ 10 00:00:56,806 --> 00:01:00,140 ♪ I got a secret that I'm gonna tell ♪ 11 00:01:00,142 --> 00:01:04,244 ♪ I'm feeling power from the pit of Hell, yeah ♪ 12 00:01:04,246 --> 00:01:06,482 (SIREN WAILING) 13 00:01:09,985 --> 00:01:12,519 ♪ The power's flowing and it just won't stop ♪ 14 00:01:12,521 --> 00:01:14,054 (INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER) 15 00:01:14,056 --> 00:01:17,024 ♪ I touch a woman, make the flesh burn hot, yeah ♪ 16 00:01:17,026 --> 00:01:20,663 ♪ Want love to spread, I think I'm gonna spread it ♪ 17 00:01:22,997 --> 00:01:26,534 ♪ The secret's easy, now lend me your ear ♪ 18 00:01:26,536 --> 00:01:29,102 ♪ Don't hesitate, there's not a thing to fear ♪ 19 00:01:29,104 --> 00:01:32,304 ♪ Oh yes I ride the lightning, yes I'm on the go ♪ 20 00:01:32,306 --> 00:01:36,310 ♪ And when I go down slow I need more power now ♪ 21 00:01:36,312 --> 00:01:38,278 (POUNDING) 22 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,713 (ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) 23 00:01:40,715 --> 00:01:42,983 Do you know how fast you were going? 24 00:01:42,985 --> 00:01:44,687 No, I don't, Officer. 25 00:01:45,453 --> 00:01:47,554 Turn that radio off, please. 26 00:01:47,556 --> 00:01:50,858 That's not the radio. That's the band practicing. 27 00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:52,194 (SNIFFING) 28 00:01:54,997 --> 00:01:56,328 Is that marijuana? 29 00:01:56,330 --> 00:01:57,463 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 30 00:01:57,465 --> 00:01:59,232 You got a party bowl up there? 31 00:01:59,234 --> 00:02:00,334 Mm, nah. 32 00:02:00,336 --> 00:02:03,170 It's okay, it's okay. Is it good? 33 00:02:03,172 --> 00:02:04,170 (STRAINED) Mm. 34 00:02:04,172 --> 00:02:08,441 Yeah. Open it up! I'm fucking boarding you! 35 00:02:08,443 --> 00:02:11,577 DRIVER: 5-0! 5-0 coming on board. 36 00:02:11,579 --> 00:02:13,747 Officer, you can't just waltz on in here! 37 00:02:13,749 --> 00:02:15,281 Do you know who these guys are? 38 00:02:15,283 --> 00:02:17,483 Unplug this shit right now. 39 00:02:17,485 --> 00:02:19,017 (ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) 40 00:02:19,019 --> 00:02:20,489 No way. 41 00:02:21,357 --> 00:02:22,922 No fucking way. 42 00:02:22,924 --> 00:02:25,892 ♪ I got a secret that I'm gonna tell ♪ 43 00:02:25,894 --> 00:02:29,462 ♪ I'm feeling power from the pit of hell, yeah ♪ 44 00:02:29,464 --> 00:02:31,498 ♪ I got something to say ♪ 45 00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:33,299 ♪ I think I'm gonna say it ♪ 46 00:02:33,301 --> 00:02:34,503 Holy shit! 47 00:02:36,670 --> 00:02:37,938 You guys are the highway cops 48 00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:40,340 that got shut down and became local cops. 49 00:02:40,342 --> 00:02:42,676 Then due to some kinda crazy "incident"... 50 00:02:42,678 --> 00:02:44,543 you got kicked off of that force, 51 00:02:44,545 --> 00:02:45,911 so you started playing music. 52 00:02:45,913 --> 00:02:48,684 And before you knew it, you won America's Got Talent. 53 00:02:49,418 --> 00:02:51,017 You're Cracklin' Bacon! 54 00:02:51,019 --> 00:02:53,352 What a long, strange trip it's been. 55 00:02:53,354 --> 00:02:54,754 I love you guys! (CHUCKLING) 56 00:02:54,756 --> 00:02:56,655 Oh, I gotta tell my partner. 57 00:02:56,657 --> 00:02:58,257 He's not gonna believe this! Okay, hold on. 58 00:02:58,259 --> 00:03:00,426 - Dude, you gotta get over here right now. - WAGNER: Copy. 59 00:03:00,428 --> 00:03:01,494 He's gonna shit his pants. 60 00:03:01,496 --> 00:03:02,629 MAC: You know what would be hilarious? 61 00:03:02,631 --> 00:03:03,730 When he comes on the bus, 62 00:03:03,732 --> 00:03:05,298 kick him in the nuts as hard as you can. 63 00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:06,966 - Really? - Just drill the guy! 64 00:03:06,968 --> 00:03:08,735 What the hell is going on in here? 65 00:03:08,737 --> 00:03:10,239 - (GROANS) - (ALL EXCLAIMING) 66 00:03:10,705 --> 00:03:12,238 (WAGNER COUGHING) 67 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,109 (LAUGHTER) 68 00:03:15,109 --> 00:03:18,911 Oh, my God! You're Cracklin' Bacon! 69 00:03:18,913 --> 00:03:20,814 You guys are my favorite band, like, ever! 70 00:03:20,816 --> 00:03:23,315 What? You didn't even know who Cracklin' Bacon was... 71 00:03:23,317 --> 00:03:24,384 until I played them for you. 72 00:03:24,386 --> 00:03:25,452 Yeah, I did! 73 00:03:25,454 --> 00:03:26,987 Oh, really? What's your favorite song? 74 00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:27,854 "Pulled Pork." 75 00:03:27,856 --> 00:03:29,555 - Yeah? How does it go then? - Uh... 76 00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:32,426 ♪ I'm gonna eat you like a pulled pork sandwich ♪ 77 00:03:32,428 --> 00:03:35,529 ♪ Get inside your bread like a hot steak Manwich ♪ 78 00:03:35,531 --> 00:03:37,363 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 79 00:03:37,365 --> 00:03:38,832 This guy's got some pipes! 80 00:03:38,834 --> 00:03:41,767 Hey, how would you like to join Cracklin' Bacon? 81 00:03:41,769 --> 00:03:43,269 We're looking for a new lead singer. 82 00:03:43,271 --> 00:03:44,438 Holy shit! (LAUGHING) 83 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,305 Yeah, oh, I can do it better than him. 84 00:03:46,307 --> 00:03:49,108 ♪ I'm gonna eat you like a pulled pork sandwich ♪ 85 00:03:49,110 --> 00:03:53,213 ♪ Kung Fu you like a Jackie Chan-wich ♪ 86 00:03:53,215 --> 00:03:54,446 - (ALL EXCLAIM) - Not bad. 87 00:03:54,448 --> 00:03:55,515 (LAUGHS) 88 00:03:55,517 --> 00:03:57,017 You guys clearly have the sound. 89 00:03:57,019 --> 00:03:59,585 But do you have the moves? Hit it. 90 00:03:59,587 --> 00:04:01,421 (BAND PLAYING ROCK MUSIC) 91 00:04:01,423 --> 00:04:03,756 - Fist-pumps! - (ALL CHEERING) 92 00:04:03,758 --> 00:04:05,826 - Pelvic thrusts. - (BOTH PUFFING) 93 00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:07,327 Shake your tail feathers. 94 00:04:07,329 --> 00:04:08,629 - Shake that ass. - (ALL CHEER) 95 00:04:08,631 --> 00:04:09,729 Now kiss each other. 96 00:04:09,731 --> 00:04:10,898 I'm sorry. Come again? 97 00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:12,565 Come on, rock and roll! Rock and roll, baby! 98 00:04:12,567 --> 00:04:13,899 WOMAN 1: Do it! MEN: Kiss him! 99 00:04:13,901 --> 00:04:16,303 (CHANTING) Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him! 100 00:04:16,305 --> 00:04:18,608 (ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES) 101 00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:21,441 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 102 00:04:21,443 --> 00:04:23,343 (LAUGHTER) 103 00:04:23,345 --> 00:04:24,677 I knew you were fucking with us. 104 00:04:24,679 --> 00:04:25,978 You're fucking with us, man! 105 00:04:25,980 --> 00:04:27,780 All right, all right. You guys clearly have 106 00:04:27,782 --> 00:04:29,115 what it takes for rock and roll. 107 00:04:29,117 --> 00:04:31,217 But there's one more test you gotta pass 108 00:04:31,219 --> 00:04:33,819 before we let you join Cracklin' Bacon. 109 00:04:33,821 --> 00:04:37,557 We wanna know if you can keep up with Juicy Lucy. 110 00:04:37,559 --> 00:04:38,691 (ALL EXCLAIM TEASINGLY) 111 00:04:38,693 --> 00:04:40,559 She looks pretty juicy to me. 112 00:04:40,561 --> 00:04:41,660 Oh, no, she's in the back, okay? 113 00:04:41,662 --> 00:04:43,698 But I warn you, she can be quite a handful. 114 00:04:44,599 --> 00:04:46,098 Let's go handle that! 115 00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:49,369 ALL: (CHANTING) Juicy Lucy! Juicy Lucy! Juicy Lucy! 116 00:04:49,371 --> 00:04:51,707 About to get juicy up in here! 117 00:04:52,374 --> 00:04:53,639 WOMAN 1: Hey, baby. 118 00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:55,008 Hello, Juicy Lucy. 119 00:04:55,010 --> 00:04:57,744 Oh, that's not Lucy. Lucy's better. 120 00:04:57,746 --> 00:04:59,215 (CHUCKLES) Oh, man! 121 00:05:00,715 --> 00:05:02,348 Fellas, on the other side of this door 122 00:05:02,350 --> 00:05:05,585 is everlasting fame and glory. 123 00:05:05,587 --> 00:05:08,655 You get the giney, I'll get the hiney. 124 00:05:08,657 --> 00:05:09,924 (BEEPS) 125 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,429 Say hello to Lucy! (YELLS) 126 00:05:14,229 --> 00:05:15,297 (BOTH GROAN) 127 00:05:16,631 --> 00:05:18,499 Move it or lose it! It's time to cruise it! 128 00:05:18,501 --> 00:05:19,633 Let's do it! 129 00:05:19,635 --> 00:05:21,134 (TIRES SCREECH) 130 00:05:21,136 --> 00:05:22,468 Motherfucker! 131 00:05:22,470 --> 00:05:24,907 (BAND PLAYING ROCK MUSIC) 132 00:05:26,208 --> 00:05:28,174 (TIRES SCREECHING) 133 00:05:28,176 --> 00:05:30,011 (ALL CHEERING) 134 00:05:31,179 --> 00:05:32,045 (LAUGHING) 135 00:05:32,047 --> 00:05:33,879 - Son-of-a-bitch! - Crap damnit! 136 00:05:33,881 --> 00:05:37,150 We sang our hearts off for those guys. Our hearts! 137 00:05:37,152 --> 00:05:38,888 (SIREN WAILING) 138 00:05:42,256 --> 00:05:43,358 THORNY: We got company. 139 00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:46,328 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 140 00:05:48,063 --> 00:05:49,098 (LAUGHING) 141 00:05:51,633 --> 00:05:53,934 Can't outrun the law, motherfucker! 142 00:05:53,936 --> 00:05:57,569 ♪ Don't hesitate, there's not a thing to fear ♪ 143 00:05:57,571 --> 00:06:00,506 Fuck you, Cracklin' Bacon! 144 00:06:00,508 --> 00:06:01,807 Whoa! 145 00:06:01,809 --> 00:06:03,011 (TIRES SCREECHING) 146 00:06:04,813 --> 00:06:06,982 (OFFICERS SCREAMING) 147 00:06:08,015 --> 00:06:09,117 Oh, shit! 148 00:06:11,386 --> 00:06:13,088 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 149 00:06:13,455 --> 00:06:14,789 Motherfucker. 150 00:06:15,991 --> 00:06:17,557 Eat it. Eat it. Eat it. Eat it. 151 00:06:17,559 --> 00:06:18,992 (GUNSHOTS) 152 00:06:18,994 --> 00:06:21,093 - (GUNSHOTS CONTINUE) - (SHOUTING) 153 00:06:21,095 --> 00:06:22,363 Ah. 154 00:06:27,302 --> 00:06:28,934 (ALL CHEERING) 155 00:06:28,936 --> 00:06:30,802 Suck these fucking bullets, bitch! 156 00:06:30,804 --> 00:06:32,374 - (GUNSHOTS) - (GLASS SHATTERS) 157 00:06:34,275 --> 00:06:36,443 (GASPS AND WHIMPERS) 158 00:06:36,445 --> 00:06:37,944 - (GLASS SHATTERS) - (MUSIC STOPS) 159 00:06:37,946 --> 00:06:40,614 Oh, shit! Mac. Hey, stay with me. Stay with me. 160 00:06:40,616 --> 00:06:44,453 (WHEEZING) We almost got those stupid cops... 161 00:06:45,619 --> 00:06:46,886 (CHUCKLES) 162 00:06:46,888 --> 00:06:49,024 - ...to kiss. - Shit. 163 00:06:49,390 --> 00:06:51,460 (SCREAMING) 164 00:06:53,528 --> 00:06:54,796 What's that? 165 00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:56,965 What the... 166 00:06:57,532 --> 00:06:59,134 Whoa! (YELLS) 167 00:06:59,701 --> 00:07:02,203 (OFFICERS SHRIEKING) 168 00:07:08,143 --> 00:07:09,145 Shit! 169 00:07:09,643 --> 00:07:11,146 (SIGHS) 170 00:07:11,647 --> 00:07:13,015 Hey. 171 00:07:13,914 --> 00:07:15,682 I still love those guys. 172 00:07:15,684 --> 00:07:17,650 Yeah, they're cool as hell. (CHUCKLES) 173 00:07:17,652 --> 00:07:19,151 I mean, look at him. 174 00:07:19,153 --> 00:07:20,155 Still cool. 175 00:07:21,789 --> 00:07:23,523 We should probably hide that body, though. 176 00:07:23,525 --> 00:07:24,527 Yeah. 177 00:07:26,128 --> 00:07:27,930 Hey, great driving, Thorn! 178 00:07:28,362 --> 00:07:29,996 Thorny? Thorny? 179 00:07:29,998 --> 00:07:31,730 Oh, my God! He's dead! 180 00:07:31,732 --> 00:07:33,165 - Oh, no! - Ha-ha! 181 00:07:33,167 --> 00:07:34,734 - Aha! - I got you, motherfucker! 182 00:07:34,736 --> 00:07:36,102 (LAUGHTER) 183 00:07:36,104 --> 00:07:38,841 - I'm not dead! I'm alive! - He's alive! 184 00:07:39,540 --> 00:07:40,542 Look out! 185 00:07:41,275 --> 00:07:42,643 Holy... 186 00:07:42,645 --> 00:07:44,079 (ALL YELLING) 187 00:07:45,246 --> 00:07:47,348 (ALL SCREAMING) 188 00:07:49,652 --> 00:07:51,287 - (GRUNTS) - (SCREAMING CONTINUES) 189 00:07:52,153 --> 00:07:53,454 (SHOUTS) 190 00:07:54,556 --> 00:07:56,592 - Ahhh! - (YELLING) 191 00:07:58,059 --> 00:07:59,394 (SHOUTS MANIACALLY) 192 00:07:59,828 --> 00:08:02,364 (BOTH SCREAMING) 193 00:08:03,597 --> 00:08:05,030 - (FARVA LAUGHS) - (SIGHS) 194 00:08:05,032 --> 00:08:07,100 You sleeping, baby boy? 195 00:08:07,102 --> 00:08:09,335 No, I'm just checking out the ceiling, Farva. 196 00:08:09,337 --> 00:08:10,470 Good work up there. 197 00:08:10,472 --> 00:08:12,304 All right, pull out your caulk and let's go. 198 00:08:12,306 --> 00:08:13,439 What? 199 00:08:13,441 --> 00:08:15,775 Let's go! I'm standing here with my caulk in my hand. 200 00:08:15,777 --> 00:08:17,276 Grab your caulk, let's put it in the holes! 201 00:08:17,278 --> 00:08:18,545 Come on, let me see that big caulk. 202 00:08:18,547 --> 00:08:19,645 Oh, shut up. 203 00:08:19,647 --> 00:08:20,946 Show me your Rabbit caulk! 204 00:08:20,948 --> 00:08:22,014 MAC: You know what's funny, Farva? 205 00:08:22,016 --> 00:08:23,583 You've made that joke 400 times 206 00:08:23,585 --> 00:08:24,751 and it still sucks. 207 00:08:24,753 --> 00:08:25,951 Fuck you, Mac. 208 00:08:25,953 --> 00:08:27,386 You don't talk to your site supervisor like that. 209 00:08:27,388 --> 00:08:29,489 That's one demerit on your permanent record. 210 00:08:29,491 --> 00:08:31,456 (GASPS)On my permanent construction record? 211 00:08:31,458 --> 00:08:33,059 That's right. You want another one, keep it up. 212 00:08:33,061 --> 00:08:34,426 Yeah, give me another and I'll pinch your dick. 213 00:08:34,428 --> 00:08:36,762 - That's two. You want to go for three? - Okay. 214 00:08:36,764 --> 00:08:38,430 Bingo! You got it! You want another one? 215 00:08:38,432 --> 00:08:40,099 - Pretty, pretty please. - You got it! 216 00:08:40,101 --> 00:08:41,400 - You want another one? - I'll take them all! 217 00:08:41,402 --> 00:08:42,736 That's seven! You want another one?! 218 00:08:42,738 --> 00:08:43,803 Give me ten! 219 00:08:43,805 --> 00:08:45,170 Bingo! 220 00:08:45,172 --> 00:08:47,240 Mac! Stop. 221 00:08:47,242 --> 00:08:51,011 You mess with the bull, you get covered in bullshit. 222 00:08:51,013 --> 00:08:53,215 (CHEWING LOUDLY) 223 00:08:56,450 --> 00:08:58,450 - What a tool. - Yeah. 224 00:08:58,452 --> 00:08:59,953 I had the craziest dream. 225 00:08:59,955 --> 00:09:01,521 Who were the cops this time? 226 00:09:01,523 --> 00:09:02,889 Stifler and Damon Wayans Jr. 227 00:09:02,891 --> 00:09:04,024 Did they almost kiss? 228 00:09:04,026 --> 00:09:06,926 Yeah. Yeah. Almost got them to. 229 00:09:06,928 --> 00:09:08,828 (COUNTRY MUSIC RINGTONE PLAYING) 230 00:09:08,830 --> 00:09:09,962 Uh, hello. 231 00:09:09,964 --> 00:09:12,665 - Morning, Mac! - Good morning, Uncle Argyle. 232 00:09:12,667 --> 00:09:15,635 Code names? Is Farva nearby? 233 00:09:15,637 --> 00:09:16,870 Oh, yeah. Spitting distance. 234 00:09:16,872 --> 00:09:19,137 Do me a favor, spackle his mouth shut. 235 00:09:19,139 --> 00:09:20,473 MAC: (LAUGHS) Okay, will do. 236 00:09:20,475 --> 00:09:23,609 So, change of location for this weekend's fishing trip. 237 00:09:23,611 --> 00:09:25,245 Just over the Canadian border. 238 00:09:25,247 --> 00:09:27,112 Oh, sweet! I love Canada. 239 00:09:27,114 --> 00:09:30,150 (CHUCKLES) Good one! I'll mail you the address. 240 00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:32,852 - What, like with a stamp? Just text me. - Text? 241 00:09:32,854 --> 00:09:36,290 Oh, you mean like, uh, mail text? Yeah. 242 00:09:36,292 --> 00:09:38,891 I do believe I have that facility on this phone. 243 00:09:38,893 --> 00:09:40,293 Okay, will do. 244 00:09:40,295 --> 00:09:42,261 That's it. I'm teaching you how to text this weekend. 245 00:09:42,263 --> 00:09:43,963 - No personal calls, Mac. - What the fuck? 246 00:09:43,965 --> 00:09:46,698 - Whoop. - Oh, God damn it, Farva. 247 00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:49,368 - I told you no personal calls. - It was a sales call. 248 00:09:49,370 --> 00:09:50,670 Oh, yeah? What were they selling? 249 00:09:50,672 --> 00:09:52,572 Ooh, was it canned salmon? I love canned salmon. 250 00:09:52,574 --> 00:09:54,741 It's better than tuna, you know. It's a salty fish. 251 00:09:54,743 --> 00:09:55,842 I like a salty fish. 252 00:09:55,844 --> 00:09:57,477 Like a grouper or maybe a branzino. 253 00:09:57,479 --> 00:09:59,545 Something that really jerks off your blood pressure. 254 00:09:59,547 --> 00:10:02,082 You know what's salty? Turtle. You ever had turtle before? 255 00:10:02,084 --> 00:10:03,750 Saltiest part? The shell. 256 00:10:03,752 --> 00:10:05,885 What do I have to say to get you to end this conversation? 257 00:10:05,887 --> 00:10:07,286 You could say, "The guy on the phone 258 00:10:07,288 --> 00:10:09,054 was trying to sell me hard dicks." 259 00:10:09,056 --> 00:10:10,957 The guy on the phone was trying to sell me hard dicks. 260 00:10:10,959 --> 00:10:12,858 I bet you bought a baker's dozen. (LAUGHS) 261 00:10:12,860 --> 00:10:14,059 Let's lay some caulk! 262 00:10:14,061 --> 00:10:16,565 I got fresh caulk, everybody! Hot caulk here. 263 00:10:17,499 --> 00:10:19,631 Who wants caulk? 264 00:10:19,633 --> 00:10:22,168 MAC: He really wants to leave right from work, huh? 265 00:10:22,170 --> 00:10:24,173 RABBIT: He said, "Real men travel light." 266 00:10:27,676 --> 00:10:30,112 (GRUNTING) 267 00:10:36,084 --> 00:10:38,220 God, he looks ridiculous. 268 00:10:41,455 --> 00:10:43,256 No, I think he looks pretty cool. 269 00:10:43,258 --> 00:10:44,491 Like the Brawny Paper Towel Guy. 270 00:10:44,493 --> 00:10:47,160 See, I was gonna say the Bombay Paper Towel Guy. 271 00:10:47,162 --> 00:10:48,261 - RABBIT: Hey, Thorn. - MAC: Hey. 272 00:10:48,263 --> 00:10:50,863 Job sucks. It's all sap and splinters. 273 00:10:50,865 --> 00:10:51,964 (MAC LAUGHS) 274 00:10:51,966 --> 00:10:53,599 Now it smells like Bombay. 275 00:10:53,601 --> 00:10:54,934 - You wanna put that shirt back on? - Whew! 276 00:10:54,936 --> 00:10:56,069 Breathe it in, little fella. 277 00:10:56,071 --> 00:10:57,569 That's the smell of a mountain man. 278 00:10:57,571 --> 00:11:00,106 Right. Okay, what time you due back at the hobo zoo? 279 00:11:00,108 --> 00:11:01,542 - (LAUGHS) - (SIREN CHIRPS) 280 00:11:05,912 --> 00:11:07,179 Hey, hey! 281 00:11:07,181 --> 00:11:08,481 What's up, guys? 282 00:11:08,483 --> 00:11:09,849 Nice ride! 283 00:11:09,851 --> 00:11:11,083 RABBIT: Hey, Chief. 284 00:11:11,085 --> 00:11:12,388 Son of a bitch. 285 00:11:13,153 --> 00:11:14,920 - Ta-da! - MEN: Hey! 286 00:11:14,922 --> 00:11:16,423 What's up, Foster? 287 00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:17,491 He is all yours. 288 00:11:17,493 --> 00:11:19,959 I'm tired of him riding in my sidecar anyway. 289 00:11:19,961 --> 00:11:21,493 That's not what you said last night. 290 00:11:21,495 --> 00:11:23,029 OFFICER (ON RADIO): Chief, we have a 214 291 00:11:23,031 --> 00:11:24,564 out at the Shuck n' Rack Motel. 292 00:11:24,566 --> 00:11:25,665 Officer needs guidance. 293 00:11:25,667 --> 00:11:27,299 - I'll be right there. - OFFICER (ON RADIO): Copy. 294 00:11:27,301 --> 00:11:29,102 (SIGHS) I wish you guys didn't get fired. 295 00:11:29,104 --> 00:11:31,838 We weren't fired. We were invited to resign. 296 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:33,205 - Ah. - Ooh, I like that. 297 00:11:33,207 --> 00:11:36,007 No, you were fired. There was that ride-along gone wrong. 298 00:11:36,009 --> 00:11:38,010 Then you were fired. 299 00:11:38,012 --> 00:11:39,612 We'll just have to agree to disagree. 300 00:11:39,614 --> 00:11:40,746 All right. 301 00:11:40,748 --> 00:11:42,948 Well, you fellas have fun. 302 00:11:42,950 --> 00:11:45,184 Just get him back in one piece, all right? 303 00:11:45,186 --> 00:11:47,587 With the rod. I'm gonna need it next weekend. 304 00:11:47,589 --> 00:11:48,654 Hello! 305 00:11:48,656 --> 00:11:49,622 That's my girl. 306 00:11:49,624 --> 00:11:51,325 All right, boys, let's go fishing. 307 00:11:54,361 --> 00:11:56,127 THORNY: And the beauty is, the black is so black 308 00:11:56,129 --> 00:11:57,296 that it's really blue. 309 00:11:57,298 --> 00:11:59,232 I mean, it's really midnight blue. 310 00:11:59,234 --> 00:12:01,032 Ah, just like the old days, huh? 311 00:12:01,034 --> 00:12:02,367 Driving around the countryside, 312 00:12:02,369 --> 00:12:03,937 listening to Thorny talk about his dick. 313 00:12:03,939 --> 00:12:05,872 - I miss the old days. - RABBIT: That's bullshit, man. 314 00:12:05,874 --> 00:12:07,473 That Fred Savage thing was not our fault. 315 00:12:07,475 --> 00:12:09,275 Actors shouldn't do ride-alongs. 316 00:12:09,277 --> 00:12:10,876 Actors shouldn't even try to play cops. 317 00:12:10,878 --> 00:12:12,612 I mean, (SCOFFS) they never get it right. 318 00:12:12,614 --> 00:12:13,614 (LAUGHTER) 319 00:12:19,988 --> 00:12:22,155 - Hey, there. - How you doin'? 320 00:12:22,157 --> 00:12:24,490 Good. You boys here for business or pleasure? 321 00:12:24,492 --> 00:12:26,126 - Just going fishing. - Good timing. 322 00:12:26,128 --> 00:12:27,727 You'll be up to yer tits in the walleye. 323 00:12:27,729 --> 00:12:30,096 I caught one last week. Was seven kilograms. 324 00:12:30,098 --> 00:12:31,530 Is that big? 325 00:12:31,532 --> 00:12:33,734 Is that big? That's like nine decimeters from tip to tail. 326 00:12:34,735 --> 00:12:37,102 - You a jigger man? - What did you call me? 327 00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:38,271 Well, I like to use the jigger rod 328 00:12:38,273 --> 00:12:39,572 for when I'm catching the walleye. 329 00:12:39,574 --> 00:12:40,873 But of course when you're doing that 330 00:12:40,875 --> 00:12:42,174 you gotta run extra light. 331 00:12:42,176 --> 00:12:45,078 Unless you're someone like you there in the back. 332 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:46,913 - What are you, a bodybuilder? - (CHUCKLES) No. 333 00:12:46,915 --> 00:12:48,580 What do you bench? Wait, don't tell me. 334 00:12:48,582 --> 00:12:50,315 I don't want you to embarrass me. 335 00:12:50,317 --> 00:12:53,519 - But I would like two tickets to your gun show. (LAUGHS) - FOSTER: Ah, okay. 336 00:12:53,521 --> 00:12:56,454 You guys are good to go. Sorry to hold ya up. 337 00:12:56,456 --> 00:12:59,327 - Let them go! - MAC: Thanks! Take her easy. 338 00:13:00,561 --> 00:13:02,694 (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) Typical Canadian hardass. 339 00:13:02,696 --> 00:13:04,997 (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) "Sorry. I'm really sorry. Sorry." 340 00:13:04,999 --> 00:13:06,698 (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) "Oh, so sorry." 341 00:13:06,700 --> 00:13:08,700 (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) Hey, fellas, any chance you can 342 00:13:08,702 --> 00:13:11,003 come over to the house later and play some Sorry? 343 00:13:11,005 --> 00:13:13,272 MAC: Sure. How about nine o'clock? 344 00:13:13,274 --> 00:13:15,141 THORNY: Ooh, nine o'clock doesn't work. 345 00:13:15,143 --> 00:13:16,543 - Sorry about that. - (LAUGHTER) 346 00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:18,277 MAC (IN NORMAL TONE): French ones are the worst. Ha! 347 00:13:18,279 --> 00:13:20,378 (IN FRENCH ACCENT) Would you like some ratatouille 348 00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:22,681 with your pain du chocolat? 349 00:13:22,683 --> 00:13:26,218 Oui, oui! I'm gonna get some jambon et fromage. 350 00:13:26,220 --> 00:13:27,655 (LAUGHTER) 351 00:13:29,224 --> 00:13:30,455 THORNY: This can't be it. 352 00:13:30,457 --> 00:13:32,324 MAC: Well, this is the address Cap sent me. 353 00:13:32,326 --> 00:13:35,059 Although he did just learn how to text. 354 00:13:35,061 --> 00:13:36,295 Now what would compel somebody 355 00:13:36,297 --> 00:13:37,664 to throw a tire up on the roof? 356 00:13:37,666 --> 00:13:40,165 FOSTER: What, you never played "Throw the Tire on the Roof"? 357 00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:41,333 MAC: (LAUGHS) No, is that the kind of shit 358 00:13:41,335 --> 00:13:42,501 you guys played in Rutland? 359 00:13:42,503 --> 00:13:44,873 FOSTER: Sure. Never got "tired" of that game. 360 00:13:50,811 --> 00:13:53,378 (FLIES BUZZING) 361 00:13:53,380 --> 00:13:55,747 FOSTER: Uh, we are in the wrong place. 362 00:13:55,749 --> 00:13:59,117 O'HAGAN: No. You're in the right place. 363 00:13:59,119 --> 00:14:00,252 MAC: What's the deal with the creepy, 364 00:14:00,254 --> 00:14:01,420 remote shithole, Cap? 365 00:14:01,422 --> 00:14:02,988 You gonna make us put the lotion in the basket? 366 00:14:02,990 --> 00:14:04,591 No, I've got a surprise for you. 367 00:14:04,593 --> 00:14:07,025 I didn't tell you up front 'cause you tend to be 368 00:14:07,027 --> 00:14:09,429 a bunch of wide-mouth bassholes. 369 00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:13,998 Well, then, why don't you let me reel in these fish, John? 370 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,568 THORNY: Governor Jessman? 371 00:14:15,570 --> 00:14:17,069 Hey, I didn't see the motorcade. 372 00:14:17,071 --> 00:14:19,606 - We're keeping my visit quiet. - Mm. 373 00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:20,973 (CHUCKLES) Oh, Cappy, you dirty dog. 374 00:14:20,975 --> 00:14:22,641 Show some respect, Mac! 375 00:14:22,643 --> 00:14:23,609 Sorry. 376 00:14:23,611 --> 00:14:25,511 I'm here on official business. 377 00:14:25,513 --> 00:14:27,814 We've got an intriguing situation 378 00:14:27,816 --> 00:14:29,549 going on in these parts. 379 00:14:29,551 --> 00:14:32,319 JESSMAN: With all the heat on immigration these days, 380 00:14:32,321 --> 00:14:33,986 the U.S. has been going through 381 00:14:33,988 --> 00:14:35,420 a border reassessment. 382 00:14:35,422 --> 00:14:38,223 It turns out that some of the original stone markers 383 00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:40,392 that delineated America from Canada, 384 00:14:40,394 --> 00:14:41,763 weren't where we thought they'd be. 385 00:14:42,562 --> 00:14:44,664 Here is where the border was. 386 00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:48,734 But here is where we found the stone markers. 387 00:14:48,736 --> 00:14:51,471 So this town, St. Georges du Laurent, 388 00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,372 and the area surrounding it, 389 00:14:53,374 --> 00:14:55,440 are actually on American soil. 390 00:14:55,442 --> 00:14:56,876 So we're going to war? 391 00:14:56,878 --> 00:14:59,145 (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) Ah, gee, that'd be a quick one, eh? 392 00:14:59,147 --> 00:15:00,378 (ALL LAUGH) 393 00:15:00,380 --> 00:15:01,848 No. After negotiations, 394 00:15:01,850 --> 00:15:03,782 they've agreed to turn the land over. 395 00:15:03,784 --> 00:15:04,751 Vermont's about to get 396 00:15:04,753 --> 00:15:06,586 - a little more head room. - RABBIT: Hm. 397 00:15:06,588 --> 00:15:08,255 So, it was up to me to find 398 00:15:08,257 --> 00:15:10,723 a temporary police force to help with the transition. 399 00:15:10,725 --> 00:15:13,959 A group of officers familiar with the border area, 400 00:15:13,961 --> 00:15:17,796 experienced in patrolling a stretch of highway. 401 00:15:17,798 --> 00:15:21,833 Guys who maybe caught a bad break the last time around? 402 00:15:21,835 --> 00:15:24,136 So, you fellas want a crack at your old jobs? 403 00:15:24,138 --> 00:15:26,405 (ALL CHEERING) 404 00:15:26,407 --> 00:15:29,875 Easy, you hooligans! I'm a senior citizen! 405 00:15:29,877 --> 00:15:32,411 And if this two-week assignment goes well, 406 00:15:32,413 --> 00:15:34,247 I might be able to make it permanent. 407 00:15:34,249 --> 00:15:36,650 Trust us. It'll go well. 408 00:15:36,652 --> 00:15:37,982 And who are you? 409 00:15:37,984 --> 00:15:39,819 Oh, I'm one of the cops. 410 00:15:39,821 --> 00:15:41,621 We picked him up outside of Home Depot. 411 00:15:41,623 --> 00:15:43,455 Fantastic. 412 00:15:43,457 --> 00:15:45,525 You'll be phasing out a Canadian Mountie unit. 413 00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:47,727 We lined up a meet and greet with them tomorrow. 414 00:15:47,729 --> 00:15:48,729 (CAR HORN HONKING) 415 00:15:50,130 --> 00:15:51,430 Oh, yeah! 416 00:15:51,432 --> 00:15:53,632 I wanted to make sure you had your full team back, 417 00:15:53,634 --> 00:15:55,568 so I tracked down your other guy too. 418 00:15:55,570 --> 00:15:56,935 (SIGHS) No fucking way. 419 00:15:56,937 --> 00:15:57,837 - (DOOR OPENS) - Oh, no. 420 00:15:57,839 --> 00:16:01,306 Sorry I'm late. Hit a moose doing 90. 421 00:16:01,308 --> 00:16:03,309 - Vaporized the beyotch! - (O'HAGAN SIGHS) 422 00:16:03,311 --> 00:16:04,776 FARVA: You know they have Eskimo hookers up here? 423 00:16:04,778 --> 00:16:06,880 When they have sex, they really get "Inuit". 424 00:16:06,882 --> 00:16:08,613 (LAUGHS) Pelé! 425 00:16:08,615 --> 00:16:09,482 (GROANS) 426 00:16:09,484 --> 00:16:10,686 MAC: God damn it. 427 00:16:11,452 --> 00:16:12,785 Farva, you fuck. 428 00:16:12,787 --> 00:16:13,953 Back in business! 429 00:16:13,955 --> 00:16:16,358 - (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) - (TRIMMER WHIRRING) 430 00:16:37,043 --> 00:16:41,146 Bullshit! Who ordered these? I can't feel my tits! 431 00:16:41,148 --> 00:16:42,450 (ALL LAUGH) 432 00:17:05,773 --> 00:17:06,838 Hey! 433 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,273 Desk buddies, guy? 434 00:17:08,275 --> 00:17:10,510 Are you positive you want to quit your old job? 435 00:17:10,512 --> 00:17:12,478 I mean, Construction Supervisor. 436 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,279 And give up the chance to crack some Canuck melons? 437 00:17:14,281 --> 00:17:16,084 I don't think so, bro-haim. 438 00:17:17,151 --> 00:17:18,751 ♪ Welcome to the Fart Zone ♪ 439 00:17:18,753 --> 00:17:20,618 - (BLOWS RASPBERRY) - FOSTER: Body armor, check. 440 00:17:20,620 --> 00:17:23,255 Tactical flashlights. Why not? 441 00:17:23,257 --> 00:17:25,390 Ooh, heat vision goggles. Check. 442 00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:26,693 Why would we need those? 443 00:17:26,695 --> 00:17:27,893 Uh, we're in Canada now, Rabbit. 444 00:17:27,895 --> 00:17:29,627 What if we have to find somebody in the snow? 445 00:17:29,629 --> 00:17:30,695 Uh, there is snow in Vermont. 446 00:17:30,697 --> 00:17:32,431 Okay, I'm the "order stuff" guy. 447 00:17:32,433 --> 00:17:33,801 You do your thing. All right? 448 00:17:34,202 --> 00:17:35,334 Okay. 449 00:17:35,336 --> 00:17:38,738 One yellow safety vest for Rabbit. 450 00:17:38,740 --> 00:17:41,941 Woo! A roving GPS triangulator. 451 00:17:41,943 --> 00:17:44,409 Triangulator? Get a load of James Bond over here. 452 00:17:44,411 --> 00:17:45,677 (LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY) 453 00:17:45,679 --> 00:17:48,114 Another yellow safety vest for Thorny. 454 00:17:48,116 --> 00:17:49,648 FARVA: Thorn, Thorn, Thorn, Thorn, Thorn, Thorn. 455 00:17:49,650 --> 00:17:53,319 Ram. Rod. Ram. Rod. Ramrod. You're out, he's in. 456 00:17:53,321 --> 00:17:55,320 Okay. 457 00:17:55,322 --> 00:17:57,656 O'HAGAN: Hey, place looks great! 458 00:17:57,658 --> 00:17:59,024 MAC: What have you been cleaning, Cap? 459 00:17:59,026 --> 00:18:01,327 I'll clean your clock if you don't watch out. 460 00:18:01,329 --> 00:18:02,830 Okay, let's get started. 461 00:18:03,998 --> 00:18:05,396 Don't push it, Mac. 462 00:18:05,398 --> 00:18:06,866 Get started doing some pullovers? 463 00:18:06,868 --> 00:18:08,200 No, we're not doing your pullovers. 464 00:18:08,202 --> 00:18:09,503 Everything will be by the book. 465 00:18:10,303 --> 00:18:11,605 Everything! 466 00:18:14,542 --> 00:18:16,674 Cap, you know how hard I worked on this thing? 467 00:18:16,676 --> 00:18:18,476 Big face, big mustache. 468 00:18:18,478 --> 00:18:20,279 I don't care how big your face is. Shave it! 469 00:18:20,281 --> 00:18:21,347 FARVA: Cap, Cap, Cap, Cap! 470 00:18:21,349 --> 00:18:22,414 I'm good, right? 471 00:18:22,416 --> 00:18:24,482 I got a tight mouth-muff. (EXHALES) 472 00:18:24,484 --> 00:18:27,219 - Talk about big faces. - That's face-ism, Cap. 473 00:18:27,221 --> 00:18:29,088 Not regulation! Shave it! 474 00:18:29,090 --> 00:18:31,991 Right! Let's go and see some Mounties. 475 00:18:31,993 --> 00:18:35,931 (CHUCKLES) Remember the three B's: Best Behavior, Boys. 476 00:18:39,767 --> 00:18:40,801 Hey. 477 00:18:42,102 --> 00:18:45,003 - How's it going? - Feels like 1983 in here. 478 00:18:45,005 --> 00:18:46,538 (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) Oh, there they are. 479 00:18:46,540 --> 00:18:48,540 I am Mayor Guy LeFranc. 480 00:18:48,542 --> 00:18:51,344 Mayor of Saint Georges du Laurent, Canada! 481 00:18:51,346 --> 00:18:53,613 Or, as it's about to be known: 482 00:18:53,615 --> 00:18:56,348 St. George of Lawrence, America. (CHUCKLES) 483 00:18:56,350 --> 00:18:59,385 I don't know. I'm not so good with American. Welcome. 484 00:18:59,387 --> 00:19:01,119 Uh, the Guy LeFranc? 485 00:19:01,121 --> 00:19:03,388 From the Montreal Canadiens Minor League system? 486 00:19:03,390 --> 00:19:05,825 The leading scorer of the Halifax Bear Eaters? 487 00:19:05,827 --> 00:19:07,693 Eighth most points in CHL history. 488 00:19:07,695 --> 00:19:10,061 Yeah, I know. Two points behind Shotti Fitznugly. 489 00:19:10,063 --> 00:19:11,129 Look at this guy! 490 00:19:11,131 --> 00:19:12,365 I love hockey. 491 00:19:12,367 --> 00:19:13,732 Your nickname, um, 492 00:19:13,734 --> 00:19:15,467 don't tell me, it was, uh, "The Explosion". 493 00:19:15,469 --> 00:19:17,337 "The Halifax Explosion." 494 00:19:17,339 --> 00:19:19,370 Named after the single greatest 495 00:19:19,372 --> 00:19:21,840 man-made explosion before Hiroshima. 496 00:19:21,842 --> 00:19:23,541 It was 1917, 497 00:19:23,543 --> 00:19:24,976 ship laden with dynamite 498 00:19:24,978 --> 00:19:27,379 crashed into another ship in Halifax Harbor. 499 00:19:27,381 --> 00:19:28,947 Tremendous explosion and loss of life. 500 00:19:28,949 --> 00:19:30,683 Burned people's eyes out with the blast. 501 00:19:30,685 --> 00:19:32,351 Many were blinded by the light. 502 00:19:32,353 --> 00:19:33,484 Like the song says. 503 00:19:33,486 --> 00:19:36,088 And a First Nations tribe was lost. 504 00:19:36,090 --> 00:19:37,589 Probably would've happened to them anyway, 505 00:19:37,591 --> 00:19:39,157 - but it kind of moved up the timetable, eh? - (ALL AGREE) 506 00:19:39,159 --> 00:19:43,128 So, I am the second biggest explosion from Halifax. 507 00:19:43,130 --> 00:19:44,262 But enough about me. 508 00:19:44,264 --> 00:19:45,697 Meet the Mounties. Guys! 509 00:19:45,699 --> 00:19:47,899 Guys, come on over here. 510 00:19:47,901 --> 00:19:51,069 This here is Sergeant Major Roger Archambault. 511 00:19:51,071 --> 00:19:54,773 This is Staff Sergeant Major Henri Podein, 512 00:19:54,775 --> 00:19:57,342 and Sergeant Christophe Bellefuille. 513 00:19:57,344 --> 00:19:58,644 Total gobbledygook. 514 00:19:58,646 --> 00:20:01,547 I'm John O'Hagan. This is Rod Farva, 515 00:20:01,549 --> 00:20:04,517 Robbie Roto, Carl Foster, MacIntyre Womack 516 00:20:04,519 --> 00:20:06,319 and Arcot Ramathorn. 517 00:20:06,321 --> 00:20:08,288 (SPEAKS FRENCH) 518 00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:09,754 (MOUNTIES LAUGH) 519 00:20:09,756 --> 00:20:11,155 (IN ENGLISH) I'll let you guys chew the cud. 520 00:20:11,157 --> 00:20:12,657 Why don't we go fuck off to the other room here? 521 00:20:12,659 --> 00:20:14,961 - Yeah, sure. - (DOOR OPENS) 522 00:20:14,963 --> 00:20:16,028 (DOOR CLOSES) 523 00:20:16,030 --> 00:20:19,334 I'm gonna get a Schlitz! That's American for beer. 524 00:20:22,570 --> 00:20:24,669 So, you do guys ride horses or... 525 00:20:24,671 --> 00:20:26,238 (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) Yeah, this isn't 1957. 526 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:27,773 We drive Crown Victorias. 527 00:20:27,775 --> 00:20:29,607 Hey, us too. You get a little soup in them, 528 00:20:29,609 --> 00:20:31,976 they can really rip your knob off. Am I right? 529 00:20:31,978 --> 00:20:32,978 (SPITS) 530 00:20:32,980 --> 00:20:35,080 (IN FRENCH ACCENT) We hear about you guy, heh? 531 00:20:35,082 --> 00:20:38,383 Because first, you get your highway station shut down. 532 00:20:38,385 --> 00:20:40,051 And then, you get kick out 533 00:20:40,053 --> 00:20:42,823 from your second job because of this, uh, 534 00:20:43,558 --> 00:20:45,357 Fred Savage thing. 535 00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:46,626 (IN FRENCH ACCENT) "Savage." 536 00:20:46,628 --> 00:20:48,260 (IN NORMAL TONE) Makes it sound intriguing, at least. 537 00:20:48,262 --> 00:20:50,229 BELLEFUILLE (IN CANADIAN ACCENT): So, what are you going to do here? 538 00:20:50,231 --> 00:20:51,563 Go for the hat trick? 539 00:20:51,565 --> 00:20:52,897 (MOUNTIES LAUGHING) 540 00:20:52,899 --> 00:20:54,665 Well, we're actually hoping to hold on to these jobs. 541 00:20:54,667 --> 00:20:55,768 (TROOPERS CHUCKLE) 542 00:20:55,770 --> 00:20:57,669 What are you guys doing after the turnover? 543 00:20:57,671 --> 00:21:00,540 Oh, they're transferring us up to Labrador City. 544 00:21:00,542 --> 00:21:01,607 - Oh! - Cool. 545 00:21:01,609 --> 00:21:02,942 BELLEFUILLE: It's cool, all right. 546 00:21:02,944 --> 00:21:06,444 Average winter temperature is minus 18 degrees Celsius! 547 00:21:06,446 --> 00:21:08,079 Yeah, all you have to do to convert 548 00:21:08,081 --> 00:21:11,517 is times two, add 32 and join the rest of the human race. 549 00:21:11,519 --> 00:21:12,617 Hey, Rookie, 550 00:21:12,619 --> 00:21:13,985 they got non-alcoholic Molsons over here. 551 00:21:13,987 --> 00:21:16,320 Want me to get you a half carafe? (LAUGHS) 552 00:21:16,322 --> 00:21:19,591 Oh, we got a rookie there? They shave your nuts yet? 553 00:21:19,593 --> 00:21:21,327 Canadian tradition says you got to shave 554 00:21:21,329 --> 00:21:23,494 the rook's nuts, otherwise it's bad luck. 555 00:21:23,496 --> 00:21:25,030 - You don't say? - Bad luck? 556 00:21:25,032 --> 00:21:26,665 I'm actually not a rookie... 557 00:21:26,667 --> 00:21:28,134 Which one of you guys has least seniority? 558 00:21:28,136 --> 00:21:30,534 - (TROOPERS MUMBLE) - I mean, technically I... 559 00:21:30,536 --> 00:21:31,771 (CHUCKLES) Shave this guy ball! 560 00:21:31,773 --> 00:21:33,605 Come on, shave both of his ball. 561 00:21:33,607 --> 00:21:34,773 (MOUNTIES COAXING) 562 00:21:34,775 --> 00:21:37,210 - Shave your ball, your dick. - (ALL LAUGHING) 563 00:21:37,212 --> 00:21:39,810 (IN FRENCH ACCENT) Hello, hello! Welcome to Canada. 564 00:21:39,812 --> 00:21:41,614 I'm Genevieve Aubois, 565 00:21:41,616 --> 00:21:44,116 Cultural Attaché of Saint Georges du Laurent. 566 00:21:44,118 --> 00:21:46,586 I will see that things go smoothly 567 00:21:46,588 --> 00:21:47,986 in the next few weeks. 568 00:21:47,988 --> 00:21:50,321 And please, if you have any questions, 569 00:21:50,323 --> 00:21:51,993 don't hesitate to ask. 570 00:21:53,427 --> 00:21:54,428 (SMACKS LIPS) 571 00:21:55,928 --> 00:21:57,996 Keep heading north, big fella. 572 00:21:57,998 --> 00:22:00,599 You don't look at the mantel when you're poking the fire, you know what I'm saying? 573 00:22:00,601 --> 00:22:02,434 - Right, guys? You know what I'm saying, right? - Jesus, Farva. 574 00:22:02,436 --> 00:22:03,469 (FARVA LAUGHS) 575 00:22:03,471 --> 00:22:04,703 GENEVIEVE: Okay. 576 00:22:04,705 --> 00:22:07,373 Well, they are waiting for us in the other room. 577 00:22:07,375 --> 00:22:09,742 So, please, suivez-moi. 578 00:22:09,744 --> 00:22:11,413 Who is waiting where? 579 00:22:13,580 --> 00:22:14,946 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 580 00:22:14,948 --> 00:22:17,284 (MARCHING DRUMS PLAYING) 581 00:22:22,990 --> 00:22:25,760 Boy, I didn't know the whole town was gonna be here. 582 00:22:30,764 --> 00:22:32,231 (MIC FEEDBACK) 583 00:22:32,233 --> 00:22:33,734 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 584 00:22:39,873 --> 00:22:41,107 - (CHUCKLES) - Oh. 585 00:22:41,109 --> 00:22:42,074 (ALL LAUGHING) 586 00:22:42,076 --> 00:22:43,542 It's about my mustache, right? 587 00:22:43,544 --> 00:22:44,844 They're laughing at my mustache? 588 00:22:44,846 --> 00:22:47,745 Please, let's give a big Canadian welcome 589 00:22:47,747 --> 00:22:50,549 to the Vermont Highway Patrol. 590 00:22:50,551 --> 00:22:52,850 (CROWD BOOING) 591 00:22:52,852 --> 00:22:54,185 GUY: Hey, hey, everyone! 592 00:22:54,187 --> 00:22:55,454 Come on, guys. They've come up here 593 00:22:55,456 --> 00:22:56,521 to tell us how great it's gonna be 594 00:22:56,523 --> 00:22:57,822 for all of us to become Americans. 595 00:22:57,824 --> 00:22:59,960 So, let them speak. Captain? 596 00:23:00,695 --> 00:23:02,694 Uh... (CLEARS THROAT) 597 00:23:02,696 --> 00:23:05,164 - Bonsoir. - (MIC FEEDBACK) 598 00:23:05,166 --> 00:23:08,901 You know, this reminds me of the story of the rabbi, 599 00:23:08,903 --> 00:23:12,003 the priest, and the Hindu in a canoe. 600 00:23:12,005 --> 00:23:13,571 WOMAN: Go blow yourself! 601 00:23:13,573 --> 00:23:14,839 (LAUGHTER) 602 00:23:14,841 --> 00:23:16,674 I'm Captain John O'Hagan. I... 603 00:23:16,676 --> 00:23:19,044 Yeah, eat it, you old donkey! 604 00:23:19,046 --> 00:23:20,011 (LAUGHTER) 605 00:23:20,013 --> 00:23:22,414 Hey, easy. Hey, look, look. 606 00:23:22,416 --> 00:23:24,649 Technically, we're all Americans, right? 607 00:23:24,651 --> 00:23:26,217 North Americans. 608 00:23:26,219 --> 00:23:28,754 Very little is gonna change around here. 609 00:23:28,756 --> 00:23:29,988 Oh, yeah, right! You're probably gonna tell us 610 00:23:29,990 --> 00:23:31,423 we can't listen to Rush anymore! 611 00:23:31,425 --> 00:23:32,857 Or the Barenaked Ladies! 612 00:23:32,859 --> 00:23:35,360 - (ANGRY CHATTER) - Hey. Hey. Hey! 613 00:23:35,362 --> 00:23:36,662 People, people. 614 00:23:36,664 --> 00:23:38,597 I love Rush and the Barenaked Ladies. 615 00:23:38,599 --> 00:23:39,798 You should listen to both. 616 00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,767 So, you are telling us who to listen to! 617 00:23:41,769 --> 00:23:42,901 No, no. I'm just... 618 00:23:42,903 --> 00:23:43,969 And then that one's gonna tell us 619 00:23:43,971 --> 00:23:45,404 we have to start eating tortillas! 620 00:23:45,406 --> 00:23:47,775 - FOSTER: It's a common mistake. - MAN 1: Bullshit! 621 00:23:48,376 --> 00:23:49,642 Hey! Listen up. 622 00:23:49,644 --> 00:23:51,743 This is America now. Like it or lump it! 623 00:23:51,745 --> 00:23:53,212 Repeat after me: 624 00:23:53,214 --> 00:23:56,581 I pledge of allegiance to the flag 625 00:23:56,583 --> 00:23:59,119 of the United States of America. 626 00:23:59,654 --> 00:24:00,919 Learn the words! 627 00:24:00,921 --> 00:24:02,453 Learn the words! 628 00:24:02,455 --> 00:24:03,457 Fuck you! 629 00:24:04,458 --> 00:24:06,360 - (GROANS) - (CROWD CLAMORING) 630 00:24:07,962 --> 00:24:10,031 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 631 00:24:11,064 --> 00:24:12,830 MAN 2: You don't even know how to play hockey! 632 00:24:12,832 --> 00:24:15,367 (CLAMORING CONTINUES) 633 00:24:15,369 --> 00:24:17,802 I didn't think they'd see us as an occupying force. 634 00:24:17,804 --> 00:24:19,370 Oh, my God! Your eye. 635 00:24:19,372 --> 00:24:20,739 That might leave a scar. 636 00:24:20,741 --> 00:24:21,874 I was looking too pretty anyway. 637 00:24:21,876 --> 00:24:23,040 (CHUCKLES) 638 00:24:23,042 --> 00:24:24,809 I can sew you up at my car. 639 00:24:24,811 --> 00:24:25,976 You're a doctor? 640 00:24:25,978 --> 00:24:28,078 No, no. I coach the girls' hockey team, 641 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:30,251 so I know my way around a gash. 642 00:24:30,885 --> 00:24:32,017 Are you making a... 643 00:24:32,019 --> 00:24:35,721 Oui . A double entendre for la vagine. 644 00:24:35,723 --> 00:24:37,322 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 645 00:24:37,324 --> 00:24:39,424 Let's go, quickly! 646 00:24:39,426 --> 00:24:41,760 THORNY: I thought Canadians are supposed to be harmless. 647 00:24:41,762 --> 00:24:43,529 Oh, come on. Cut them some slack. 648 00:24:43,531 --> 00:24:45,396 They're upset about losing their identities. 649 00:24:45,398 --> 00:24:48,399 They called you an old donkey. Doesn't that piss you off? 650 00:24:48,401 --> 00:24:49,768 Well, I don't love it. 651 00:24:49,770 --> 00:24:52,136 Actually, I didn't sleep at all last night. 652 00:24:52,138 --> 00:24:53,438 But we got a job to do. 653 00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:55,840 - Rabbit, how's your head? - It's okay. 654 00:24:55,842 --> 00:25:00,213 That, uh... Genevieve, she, uh, patched me up. 655 00:25:00,215 --> 00:25:02,313 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 656 00:25:02,315 --> 00:25:03,281 Oh, please! 657 00:25:03,283 --> 00:25:05,917 Frenchy had her eyes on my thighs all night long. 658 00:25:05,919 --> 00:25:07,051 - Yeah. - Did she, now? 659 00:25:07,053 --> 00:25:08,287 FARVA: Oh, yeah? Keep laughing. 660 00:25:08,289 --> 00:25:10,588 I bet you a buck I bang the crêpe out of her first. 661 00:25:10,590 --> 00:25:11,757 - (BLOWS RASPBERRY) - Okay. 662 00:25:11,759 --> 00:25:12,992 Put your money where your mouth's been. 663 00:25:12,994 --> 00:25:15,728 Fuck the buck. Loser sits on a cactus. 664 00:25:15,730 --> 00:25:17,928 No, loser gets a perm. 665 00:25:17,930 --> 00:25:20,866 No, loser cuts his pinky-toe off with a shovel. 666 00:25:20,868 --> 00:25:22,467 Take that bet. 667 00:25:22,469 --> 00:25:24,470 - I suggest you take the bet, Rabbit. Really, honestly. - Jump on it. 668 00:25:24,472 --> 00:25:25,671 Please shut up, Farva. 669 00:25:25,673 --> 00:25:27,138 Okay. We have a deal. 670 00:25:27,140 --> 00:25:28,607 You heard it, right? We have a deal. 671 00:25:28,609 --> 00:25:31,277 Oh, so, this is where they keep the illegal aliens, huh? 672 00:25:31,279 --> 00:25:33,278 - (BELLEFUILLE CHUCKLES) - Ah, welcome, Officers! 673 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:34,914 Welcome to the guys who stood around 674 00:25:34,916 --> 00:25:36,580 while people threw hockey pucks at us? 675 00:25:36,582 --> 00:25:37,715 You gonna come up here talking 676 00:25:37,717 --> 00:25:39,284 all that "Make America Great" crap, 677 00:25:39,286 --> 00:25:42,120 you're bound to catch a face full of Canadian tomato. 678 00:25:42,122 --> 00:25:43,489 O'HAGAN: Okay, okay. Listen up. 679 00:25:43,491 --> 00:25:45,457 Two of you are gonna ride with the Mounties. 680 00:25:45,459 --> 00:25:47,291 They'll show you where the bodies are buried. 681 00:25:47,293 --> 00:25:49,294 - BOTH: Not it. - Actually, it is you two. 682 00:25:49,296 --> 00:25:50,361 (CHUCKLES) 683 00:25:50,363 --> 00:25:52,364 It's not our idea of a good time either, fellas. 684 00:25:52,366 --> 00:25:54,903 Personally, I'd rather fuck a moose. 685 00:25:55,802 --> 00:25:57,502 You would need a ladder to do that. 686 00:25:57,504 --> 00:26:00,905 Obviously, I would need a ladder to fuck a moose. 687 00:26:00,907 --> 00:26:03,876 But I would find one, and I would fuck that moose. 688 00:26:03,878 --> 00:26:05,043 O'HAGAN: Okay! 689 00:26:05,045 --> 00:26:07,546 Thorny, Rabbit, I got a highway job for you. 690 00:26:07,548 --> 00:26:08,549 Let's do it! 691 00:26:12,919 --> 00:26:14,618 FARVA: Hey, Cap? Cap? 692 00:26:14,620 --> 00:26:15,921 Whose car do I ride in? 693 00:26:15,923 --> 00:26:17,990 Why don't you stay here with me? 694 00:26:17,992 --> 00:26:19,590 Sit over here. 695 00:26:19,592 --> 00:26:20,961 That's the radio, though. 696 00:26:21,361 --> 00:26:22,328 Great idea! 697 00:26:22,330 --> 00:26:25,763 That way, if a call comes in, you can answer it. 698 00:26:25,765 --> 00:26:27,031 Huh? 699 00:26:27,033 --> 00:26:28,434 (O'HAGAN VOCALIZING) 700 00:26:28,436 --> 00:26:31,002 Okay, just today, though, okay? 701 00:26:31,004 --> 00:26:33,308 Everyone takes a turn. It's a new station. 702 00:26:34,541 --> 00:26:35,607 (SIGHS) 703 00:26:35,609 --> 00:26:36,677 Fuckin' radio. 704 00:26:39,146 --> 00:26:40,548 What the fuck is this shit? 705 00:26:42,082 --> 00:26:43,682 I mean, it's not gonna kill him, is it? 706 00:26:43,684 --> 00:26:46,020 I don't know. Do you want it to kill him? 707 00:26:47,655 --> 00:26:48,753 BELLEFUILLE: Allons-y! 708 00:26:48,755 --> 00:26:50,356 - (HORN HONKS) - (SHOUTS IN FRENCH) 709 00:26:50,358 --> 00:26:51,624 Just a minute! 710 00:26:51,626 --> 00:26:52,992 Just a, uh... 711 00:26:52,994 --> 00:26:54,926 What's Canadian for "minute"? 712 00:26:54,928 --> 00:26:56,563 (MUMBLES MOCKINGLY) 713 00:26:59,734 --> 00:27:00,933 Ah. 714 00:27:00,935 --> 00:27:02,470 There they are. Okay. 715 00:27:04,171 --> 00:27:05,205 Hm. 716 00:27:06,773 --> 00:27:08,141 (GULPING) 717 00:27:11,111 --> 00:27:13,811 Are you swallowing M&M's whole? 718 00:27:13,813 --> 00:27:16,450 Yeah. The green ones make me horny. 719 00:27:18,685 --> 00:27:20,251 Why don't you chew them first? 720 00:27:20,253 --> 00:27:23,023 (SCOFFS) They all go to the same place, right? 721 00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:28,292 (SIGHS) 722 00:27:28,294 --> 00:27:29,961 FOSTER: (ON RADIO) Hey, Farva, can I get a radio check? 723 00:27:29,963 --> 00:27:31,663 - (CRACKLING) - (YELPS) 724 00:27:31,665 --> 00:27:32,667 (GROANS) 725 00:27:34,734 --> 00:27:36,769 (BOTH LAUGHING) 726 00:27:36,771 --> 00:27:38,404 Why did you shock your buddy, buddy? 727 00:27:38,406 --> 00:27:39,738 (LAUGHING) 728 00:27:39,740 --> 00:27:43,841 You know, every job has that one guy that you love to hate. 729 00:27:43,843 --> 00:27:45,543 Yeah, obnoxious. Oafish. 730 00:27:45,545 --> 00:27:48,047 Oh, yeah, you mean like your typical American? 731 00:27:48,049 --> 00:27:49,417 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 732 00:27:52,218 --> 00:27:53,653 Still waiting on that radio check. 733 00:27:57,992 --> 00:27:59,726 - (CRACKLING) - (SCREAMS) 734 00:28:01,161 --> 00:28:02,629 FARVA: Fuckin' shit! 735 00:28:03,362 --> 00:28:04,930 This is an awesome assignment. 736 00:28:04,932 --> 00:28:07,532 Oh, come on, it's great. Outside. On duty. 737 00:28:07,534 --> 00:28:11,302 Hey, what's 80 kilometers per hour in English? 738 00:28:11,304 --> 00:28:15,007 I guess 49.7097 miles per hour. 739 00:28:15,009 --> 00:28:16,974 Uh, I don't think we have any decimals. 740 00:28:16,976 --> 00:28:19,145 - Do you have a Sharpie? - Uh, no. 741 00:28:19,147 --> 00:28:21,914 FARVA: Unit 23. Come in, 23. Unit 23. Come in, 23. 742 00:28:21,916 --> 00:28:24,915 Radio, until the turnover, we have to keep things metric. 743 00:28:24,917 --> 00:28:29,553 So we are now Unit 37.015. Try again. 744 00:28:29,555 --> 00:28:30,489 Whatever. 745 00:28:30,491 --> 00:28:33,992 I got a call out on Rue de Autoroute 77 746 00:28:33,994 --> 00:28:35,726 or some Frère Jacques bullshit. 747 00:28:35,728 --> 00:28:38,129 There's a gaggle of dead Canadian Geese on the road. 748 00:28:38,131 --> 00:28:40,232 Yeah, up here, they just call them geese, Radio. 749 00:28:40,234 --> 00:28:42,334 Yeah, well, in two weeks, I call them American Geese. 750 00:28:42,336 --> 00:28:44,135 Honk, honk. Go clean them off. 751 00:28:44,137 --> 00:28:47,841 That's a big 16.09-6436, good buddy. 752 00:28:50,278 --> 00:28:52,309 Ah, ya, there's the Pancake Shed. 753 00:28:52,311 --> 00:28:54,279 And that's the Flapjack's. 754 00:28:54,281 --> 00:28:55,446 Oh, there on the right, 755 00:28:55,448 --> 00:28:57,549 that's Gigi's Bait, Tackle and Pancakes. 756 00:28:57,551 --> 00:29:00,152 - But they're really known more for their waffles. - Yeah, they are. 757 00:29:00,154 --> 00:29:02,453 Sounds like the Queen must really love pancakes. 758 00:29:02,455 --> 00:29:03,989 What's that supposed to mean? 759 00:29:03,991 --> 00:29:06,325 FOSTER: Aren't you guys still ruled by the Queen of England? 760 00:29:06,327 --> 00:29:07,392 I mean, she's all over your money. 761 00:29:07,394 --> 00:29:08,460 BELLEFUILLE: I'll have you know that 762 00:29:08,462 --> 00:29:11,262 we achieved our independence in 1982. 763 00:29:11,264 --> 00:29:12,530 - Ooh! - Oh! 764 00:29:12,532 --> 00:29:14,165 - MAC: 1982. - (FOSTER CHUCKLES) 765 00:29:14,167 --> 00:29:16,635 - Did Wham! perform at the ceremony? - (LAUGHS) 766 00:29:16,637 --> 00:29:18,570 Maybe if we had our independence sooner, 767 00:29:18,572 --> 00:29:20,538 we'd have no gun control, not believe in evolution 768 00:29:20,540 --> 00:29:23,644 and all be morbidly obese without healthcare. 769 00:29:25,312 --> 00:29:27,412 BELLEFUILLE: Why don't you pull in right up here? 770 00:29:27,414 --> 00:29:29,817 Time for you to meet the local business owners. 771 00:29:48,569 --> 00:29:49,867 Escorts? 772 00:29:49,869 --> 00:29:51,203 BELLEFUILLE: Here we are, boys. 773 00:29:51,205 --> 00:29:52,971 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 774 00:29:52,973 --> 00:29:54,175 (GREETS IN FRENCH) 775 00:29:57,577 --> 00:29:59,444 Are we here to bust up a cat-house? 776 00:29:59,446 --> 00:30:01,780 PODEIN: You can't arrest people for having boners. 777 00:30:01,782 --> 00:30:03,214 It's legal up here, Yank. 778 00:30:03,216 --> 00:30:05,416 A hockey-themed, dual-sex bordello. 779 00:30:05,418 --> 00:30:07,051 Do we have that in the U.S.? 780 00:30:07,053 --> 00:30:08,653 I don't know, but put me in, Coach. 781 00:30:08,655 --> 00:30:10,488 Oh, oh! Look who it is! It's the fuzz. 782 00:30:10,490 --> 00:30:12,223 The Mayor hangs out in a bordello? 783 00:30:12,225 --> 00:30:14,858 No, the Mayor own the bordello. 784 00:30:14,860 --> 00:30:15,793 Here you go, boys. 785 00:30:15,795 --> 00:30:17,861 How about a beer and a tug? On the house. 786 00:30:17,863 --> 00:30:19,598 - Hey! - Oh, uh... 787 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:20,566 Uh, maybe later. 788 00:30:20,568 --> 00:30:23,335 Oh, I understand. Scram, girls. 789 00:30:23,337 --> 00:30:25,936 - How's it going, eh? - Yeah, no, no. Maybe later. 790 00:30:25,938 --> 00:30:27,138 You guys! 791 00:30:27,140 --> 00:30:28,540 You don't like women, you don't like men. 792 00:30:28,542 --> 00:30:30,509 I mean, what should I get, a river beaver to pleasure you? 793 00:30:30,511 --> 00:30:33,311 It's a joke. Their teeth are so sharp, it would be horrible. 794 00:30:33,313 --> 00:30:34,547 How can I help you fellas? 795 00:30:34,549 --> 00:30:36,615 Oh, the Yanks want to talk about their U.S. laws. 796 00:30:36,617 --> 00:30:38,849 You know, like serving weaker beer 797 00:30:38,851 --> 00:30:40,786 and shutting down brothels. 798 00:30:40,788 --> 00:30:42,220 Shutting down brothels? 799 00:30:42,222 --> 00:30:43,355 Who put you up to this? 800 00:30:43,357 --> 00:30:45,522 Was it Jean-Paul down at Chez Poontang? 801 00:30:45,524 --> 00:30:47,059 Huh? You guys pulling my chain? 802 00:30:47,061 --> 00:30:48,126 Look, I don't think this is anything 803 00:30:48,128 --> 00:30:49,560 we need to get too hung up on right now. 804 00:30:49,562 --> 00:30:50,928 I can't believe down in the States, 805 00:30:50,930 --> 00:30:52,830 it's illegal to have a beer and enjoy tits and a dick. 806 00:30:52,832 --> 00:30:55,200 I mean, beep beep! 807 00:30:55,202 --> 00:30:56,902 - There's no harm there. - Oh. Uh... 808 00:30:56,904 --> 00:30:58,904 (IMITATING PUNCHING BAG) 809 00:30:58,906 --> 00:31:00,672 - Good workout, eh? - Wow. 810 00:31:00,674 --> 00:31:03,474 Honestly, Guy, we're not here to lay down any laws. 811 00:31:03,476 --> 00:31:05,643 We're very sorry if there's been a misunderstanding. 812 00:31:05,645 --> 00:31:08,512 - "We're sahrry?" "Sahrry." - (LAUGHTER) 813 00:31:08,514 --> 00:31:10,181 (CROWD MIMICS MAC MOCKINGLY) 814 00:31:10,183 --> 00:31:12,253 I'm sorry, but that sounds stupid. 815 00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:15,386 - So sahrry. - Sahrry. 816 00:31:15,388 --> 00:31:17,289 It's funny. I know. 817 00:31:17,291 --> 00:31:20,158 And what exactly is your beef with our beer? 818 00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:21,658 Oh, I don't have any problem with the beer. 819 00:31:21,660 --> 00:31:23,561 I mean, I think the limit in the U.S. is what, nine percent? 820 00:31:23,563 --> 00:31:26,063 Nine percent? How are you supposed to get drunk? 821 00:31:26,065 --> 00:31:27,432 I mean, you know, 822 00:31:27,434 --> 00:31:29,033 I think the idea is you drink more of the weaker stuff. 823 00:31:29,035 --> 00:31:30,202 I bet it is. 824 00:31:30,204 --> 00:31:31,703 You Americans drinking and eating everything. 825 00:31:31,705 --> 00:31:34,205 - Oh, no, you shouldn't. - (BLOWS RASPBERRY) So fat. 826 00:31:34,207 --> 00:31:35,773 How about a little help over here, huh? 827 00:31:35,775 --> 00:31:38,010 Yeah, I don't think we have jurisdiction here anymore, buddy. 828 00:31:38,012 --> 00:31:39,478 Okay, all right. 829 00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,279 It's not like we're here to "screw you" out of your rights. 830 00:31:41,281 --> 00:31:42,848 Darn tootin' you're not. 831 00:31:42,850 --> 00:31:43,949 Okay, look, relax. 832 00:31:43,951 --> 00:31:45,216 Go away, you American pigs! 833 00:31:45,218 --> 00:31:47,453 (CROWD SHOUTING ANGRILY) 834 00:31:47,455 --> 00:31:48,953 - WOMAN: Go home! - Oh! 835 00:31:48,955 --> 00:31:50,155 Take it easy. 836 00:31:50,157 --> 00:31:51,826 Fight, fight, fight, fight! 837 00:31:53,327 --> 00:31:54,926 Sorry about that. It was an accident. 838 00:31:54,928 --> 00:31:57,061 (GRUNTING) 839 00:31:57,063 --> 00:31:59,266 ♪ Round and round ♪ 840 00:32:00,466 --> 00:32:01,668 MAN: Get out of here! 841 00:32:03,270 --> 00:32:05,306 - (GRUNTING) - (CROWD EXCLAIMING) 842 00:32:06,139 --> 00:32:07,340 Get the fuck off me. 843 00:32:08,641 --> 00:32:10,543 Fuck you, motherfuckers. Fuck you! 844 00:32:11,911 --> 00:32:13,413 (CROWD CHEERING) 845 00:32:14,581 --> 00:32:16,947 - DRIVER: Vermont sucks, eh! - RABBIT: Thank you. 846 00:32:16,949 --> 00:32:18,317 See you later, sunshine! 847 00:32:19,349 --> 00:32:20,985 - BOTH: Stupid Americans! - RABBIT: Cheerio! 848 00:32:20,987 --> 00:32:23,954 Okay, this job isn't as fun as I thought it was. 849 00:32:23,956 --> 00:32:25,056 Arrogant American! 850 00:32:25,058 --> 00:32:27,325 The whole world's metric. What's your problem, eh? 851 00:32:27,327 --> 00:32:28,626 Just doing our job, sir. 852 00:32:28,628 --> 00:32:30,395 You're 185 centimeters tall, 853 00:32:30,397 --> 00:32:32,532 you weigh 92 kilogram. Get used to it! 854 00:32:33,567 --> 00:32:34,532 Okay. 855 00:32:34,534 --> 00:32:37,368 Your authority don't mean cheese up here. 856 00:32:37,370 --> 00:32:39,838 I can't tell if he's calling me skinny or fat. 857 00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:41,072 FOSTER: (ON RADIO) Officers requesting assistance 858 00:32:41,074 --> 00:32:43,041 at the L'Explosion Bordello on Route Four. 859 00:32:43,043 --> 00:32:45,242 We are under assault by hookers. 860 00:32:45,244 --> 00:32:46,543 Lots of them. Male and female. 861 00:32:46,545 --> 00:32:48,480 Copy, 91. We'll be right there. 862 00:32:48,482 --> 00:32:50,482 Just as soon as we finish taking selfies 863 00:32:50,484 --> 00:32:52,649 with the Victoria's Secret Blow Job Team. 864 00:32:52,651 --> 00:32:55,154 I'm not kidding, Thorny! There's too many of them. 865 00:32:55,156 --> 00:32:56,553 Will you get your dick out of my face! 866 00:32:56,555 --> 00:32:58,322 I just... I got glitter! 867 00:32:58,324 --> 00:33:00,125 Glittering and... Glittering and... 868 00:33:00,127 --> 00:33:02,292 I love it. It's like we never left. 869 00:33:02,294 --> 00:33:04,328 (TIRES SCREECHING) 870 00:33:04,330 --> 00:33:07,398 What the hell? Remote driver? 871 00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:08,601 Ghost car? 872 00:33:17,343 --> 00:33:19,310 We drilled that sign! 873 00:33:19,312 --> 00:33:20,513 They're kids. 874 00:33:21,115 --> 00:33:22,313 Give me those keys. 875 00:33:22,315 --> 00:33:24,449 Ow! No biting, you little shitsky! 876 00:33:24,451 --> 00:33:25,517 What's your name, kid? 877 00:33:25,519 --> 00:33:26,918 Stranger danger! Stranger danger! 878 00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:28,119 Where did you get the car? 879 00:33:28,121 --> 00:33:29,689 - Suck it, cop! - (GROANING) 880 00:33:33,426 --> 00:33:35,026 Holy Christmas. 881 00:33:35,028 --> 00:33:36,494 Oh, my God. 882 00:33:36,496 --> 00:33:38,329 They're all hopped up on goofballs. 883 00:33:38,331 --> 00:33:40,533 You can't catch me! (YELLING) 884 00:33:41,334 --> 00:33:43,100 I'm gonna get my bean bag gun! 885 00:33:43,102 --> 00:33:44,168 Show me where you got these 886 00:33:44,170 --> 00:33:45,337 and I'll let you play with my Taser. 887 00:33:45,339 --> 00:33:46,573 Ooh! Yeah, yeah, yeah! 888 00:33:49,309 --> 00:33:50,508 THORNY: We gotta be careful. 889 00:33:50,510 --> 00:33:53,147 This is the kind of image that could go viral. 890 00:33:54,246 --> 00:33:55,413 There! 891 00:33:55,415 --> 00:33:57,385 (KIDS GRUNTING) 892 00:33:59,453 --> 00:34:01,422 All right. Whoa, whoa, whoa, boys. 893 00:34:02,188 --> 00:34:03,421 (KIDS YELLING) 894 00:34:03,423 --> 00:34:05,092 Stay! Stay. 895 00:34:24,578 --> 00:34:27,011 - What's up, Soapy? - (WHISTLES) 896 00:34:27,013 --> 00:34:28,014 More pills? 897 00:34:30,284 --> 00:34:31,852 Did Apple change their logo? 898 00:34:33,185 --> 00:34:34,554 THORNY: What have we here? 899 00:34:35,455 --> 00:34:37,355 (SNIFFS) Cubans. 900 00:34:37,357 --> 00:34:39,123 Must make you feel right at home. 901 00:34:39,125 --> 00:34:40,590 Good one. 902 00:34:40,592 --> 00:34:42,092 KID: Pills, pills, pills! 903 00:34:42,094 --> 00:34:43,161 THORNY: Oh, boy. 904 00:34:43,163 --> 00:34:44,799 (KIDS SCREAMING) 905 00:34:46,799 --> 00:34:49,134 Viva la revolución, baby! 906 00:34:49,136 --> 00:34:50,434 - Ay, ay, ay! - FARVA: Ugh. 907 00:34:50,436 --> 00:34:51,936 You ever hear of the Cuban Embargo? 908 00:34:51,938 --> 00:34:53,605 That embargo is yesterday's news. 909 00:34:53,607 --> 00:34:54,873 Not for me it isn't. 910 00:34:54,875 --> 00:34:57,545 That's like sucking Castro's cold wrinkled dick. 911 00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:00,712 Cuban cigars, 912 00:35:00,714 --> 00:35:02,713 counterfeit iPhones and unmarked pills. 913 00:35:02,715 --> 00:35:03,949 We got something here. 914 00:35:03,951 --> 00:35:06,884 You boys stumbled on quite a booty closet. 915 00:35:06,886 --> 00:35:08,018 A what now? 916 00:35:08,020 --> 00:35:09,788 Booty. Contraband. 917 00:35:09,790 --> 00:35:11,723 What? They don't say "booty" anymore? 918 00:35:11,725 --> 00:35:13,726 - Not really, no. - Nah. 919 00:35:14,527 --> 00:35:15,659 Canadian counterfeit iPhones? 920 00:35:15,661 --> 00:35:17,994 We should call them "A"-Phones, eh? Right? 921 00:35:17,996 --> 00:35:19,899 (DIALING) 922 00:35:21,067 --> 00:35:22,166 (LINE RINGING) 923 00:35:22,168 --> 00:35:24,569 (CELL PHONES RINGING) 924 00:35:24,571 --> 00:35:27,005 They all have the same number? That's a rip-off. 925 00:35:27,007 --> 00:35:29,273 So, what pills do we have? 926 00:35:29,275 --> 00:35:30,541 Not sure. 927 00:35:30,543 --> 00:35:32,978 Five different kinds. None of them have markings. 928 00:35:32,980 --> 00:35:34,145 Send them to the lab. 929 00:35:34,147 --> 00:35:36,280 I tried! The U.S. lab said send them to the Canadian lab. 930 00:35:36,282 --> 00:35:37,382 The Canadian lab said, 931 00:35:37,384 --> 00:35:38,516 (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) "Oh, ya, hey there. 932 00:35:38,518 --> 00:35:39,550 "Send 'em over to the U.S. lab there." 933 00:35:39,552 --> 00:35:40,918 Maybe the Mounties have some pull? 934 00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:42,554 - Boo! - (OVERLAPPING CHATTER) 935 00:35:42,556 --> 00:35:43,621 Fuck the Mounties! 936 00:35:43,623 --> 00:35:44,889 - Fuckin' Canada. - Fuck that. 937 00:35:44,891 --> 00:35:46,690 For all we know, this was the Mounties. 938 00:35:46,692 --> 00:35:48,692 Easy on the local cop conspiracies. 939 00:35:48,694 --> 00:35:50,895 We'll solve this case ourselves. 940 00:35:50,897 --> 00:35:52,496 I'll put a call out to Montpelier, 941 00:35:52,498 --> 00:35:55,233 see if they can line up a lab for us. 942 00:35:55,235 --> 00:35:57,469 Wah, wah! I don't need some nerd 943 00:35:57,471 --> 00:35:59,139 in a lab coat to tell me what this shit is. 944 00:36:00,641 --> 00:36:02,639 (EXCLAIMS, CRUNCHING) 945 00:36:02,641 --> 00:36:04,608 Sometimes even I've gotta hand it to you, 946 00:36:04,610 --> 00:36:05,909 you weird son of a bitch. 947 00:36:05,911 --> 00:36:07,612 But why is it that you chew a pill 948 00:36:07,614 --> 00:36:09,514 yet you swallow M&M's whole? 949 00:36:09,516 --> 00:36:11,884 I'm a complicated guy, Mac. (CHEWS GUM) 950 00:36:11,886 --> 00:36:13,253 Okay. All right. 951 00:36:14,587 --> 00:36:16,454 See you boys in the Renaissance Period. 952 00:36:16,456 --> 00:36:17,521 Huzzah! 953 00:36:17,523 --> 00:36:19,092 (ALL GULPING) 954 00:36:21,226 --> 00:36:23,029 (MOANING) 955 00:36:23,864 --> 00:36:25,931 (DRAWLING) Can't move. 956 00:36:25,933 --> 00:36:27,666 My mouth's dry. 957 00:36:27,668 --> 00:36:29,199 What do you think, like a heavy barbiturate? 958 00:36:29,201 --> 00:36:30,367 Maybe a muscle relaxant? 959 00:36:30,369 --> 00:36:31,802 You really can't move? 960 00:36:31,804 --> 00:36:34,771 I'm numb. I'm totally numb. 961 00:36:34,773 --> 00:36:36,310 - (SMACKS LIPS) - MAC: Okay. 962 00:36:37,177 --> 00:36:38,543 What are you doing? 963 00:36:38,545 --> 00:36:39,643 - (GROANS) - Oh! 964 00:36:39,645 --> 00:36:41,779 Fuck you, Mac. I need medical attention. 965 00:36:41,781 --> 00:36:44,248 Side effects may include fatness and irritability. 966 00:36:44,250 --> 00:36:46,019 I think it's a mood enhancer. 967 00:36:47,487 --> 00:36:48,853 (GROANS) God damn it. 968 00:36:48,855 --> 00:36:51,255 - I know I'm in a better mood. - (ALL LAUGH) 969 00:36:51,257 --> 00:36:52,322 Do we have any more fly strips? 970 00:36:52,324 --> 00:36:53,824 I want to make him a headband. 971 00:36:53,826 --> 00:36:55,226 FOSTER: ♪ Three little maids from school are we ♪ 972 00:36:55,228 --> 00:36:57,462 ♪ Pert as a school-girl well should be ♪ 973 00:36:57,464 --> 00:36:58,695 ♪ Filled to the brim with girlish glee ♪ 974 00:36:58,697 --> 00:36:59,998 ♪ Three little maids from school ♪ 975 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,532 - That's gotta be speed, right? - Absolutely. 976 00:37:02,534 --> 00:37:04,969 Wow. You seem kinda wired. 977 00:37:04,971 --> 00:37:06,938 I'm just psyched to be back on the job! 978 00:37:06,940 --> 00:37:08,672 URSULA: Yeah, okay, well, I knew you would be. 979 00:37:08,674 --> 00:37:09,741 Ooh, did I tell ya the oth... 980 00:37:09,743 --> 00:37:10,942 Oh, yeah, I got, I got a triangulator. 981 00:37:10,944 --> 00:37:12,944 Why would you need a triangulator? 982 00:37:12,946 --> 00:37:14,045 Why does everyone keep saying that? 983 00:37:14,047 --> 00:37:15,880 - To triangulate, baby! - (CHUCKLES) 984 00:37:15,882 --> 00:37:17,181 Hey, how come we never go dancing anymore? 985 00:37:17,183 --> 00:37:20,117 When I get home, we're gonna go fuckin' dancing. 986 00:37:20,119 --> 00:37:21,184 Okay. I can't wait. 987 00:37:21,186 --> 00:37:22,054 (HUFFING) 988 00:37:22,056 --> 00:37:24,489 FARVA: Rabbit, get me some lemonade. 989 00:37:24,491 --> 00:37:26,991 Rabbit. Get me some lemonade, please. 990 00:37:26,993 --> 00:37:27,958 (GRUNTING) 991 00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:30,494 Get me some goddamn lemonade, rookie! 992 00:37:30,496 --> 00:37:32,764 Don't you call me rookie, you fucker! 993 00:37:32,766 --> 00:37:35,032 I will fucking put my fist right through your head! 994 00:37:35,034 --> 00:37:36,735 - I'm thinkin' 'roids. - Absolutely. 995 00:37:36,737 --> 00:37:38,436 How about you? You feel anything? 996 00:37:38,438 --> 00:37:41,105 Wet mouth. Sweaty palms. 997 00:37:41,107 --> 00:37:45,842 Moist ear canals. And I'm just feeling emotional. 998 00:37:45,844 --> 00:37:47,614 - Hm. Okay. - (TYPING) 999 00:37:51,150 --> 00:37:53,117 I think you took a Canadian female 1000 00:37:53,119 --> 00:37:56,920 sexual enhancement drug called Flova Scotia. 1001 00:37:56,922 --> 00:37:59,422 "Made in Canada, but banned in the U.S." 1002 00:37:59,424 --> 00:38:01,361 (MUSIC PLAYING ON LAPTOP) 1003 00:38:03,864 --> 00:38:05,529 FEMALE NARRATOR: When the time is right, 1004 00:38:05,531 --> 00:38:06,866 but you're not. 1005 00:38:07,634 --> 00:38:09,867 Flova Scotia, eh? 1006 00:38:09,869 --> 00:38:11,168 Side effects may include 1007 00:38:11,170 --> 00:38:13,237 wet mouth, sweaty palms, damp ears, moist groin, 1008 00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:16,875 varicose breasts, hair loss, queefing, and bitchiness. 1009 00:38:16,877 --> 00:38:18,976 Flova Scotia, eh? 1010 00:38:18,978 --> 00:38:21,346 You can say "queefing" on Canadian TV? 1011 00:38:21,348 --> 00:38:22,746 Ha! What a country! 1012 00:38:22,748 --> 00:38:24,514 What about you? You're awful smiley. 1013 00:38:24,516 --> 00:38:25,717 I'm on acid. 1014 00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:27,953 Pharmaceutical acid? Is there such a thing? 1015 00:38:27,955 --> 00:38:30,020 Don't know. But I do know you have exactly 1016 00:38:30,022 --> 00:38:32,257 1,509 hairs in your mustache. 1017 00:38:32,259 --> 00:38:35,927 Close! 1,521. I had them counted for my birthday. 1018 00:38:35,929 --> 00:38:37,762 - Really? - Yeah. 1019 00:38:37,764 --> 00:38:39,398 - Really? - Yeah! 1020 00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:41,699 (LAUGHS) I don't know what to believe, Thorn! 1021 00:38:41,701 --> 00:38:43,601 - Okay. - FARVA: Don't you do that. 1022 00:38:43,603 --> 00:38:45,069 I'm really looking forward to this. 1023 00:38:45,071 --> 00:38:46,072 Well? 1024 00:38:47,005 --> 00:38:48,172 You guys come up with anything? 1025 00:38:48,174 --> 00:38:50,775 Indeed we have some very interesting leads. 1026 00:38:50,777 --> 00:38:52,175 Some of them from that computer! 1027 00:38:52,177 --> 00:38:54,712 I think that we are on top of this case. 1028 00:38:54,714 --> 00:38:56,246 RABBIT: We're gonna find out who did this 1029 00:38:56,248 --> 00:38:58,951 and we're gonna stomp in their stupid fucking faces! 1030 00:38:59,451 --> 00:39:00,719 Okay. 1031 00:39:00,721 --> 00:39:02,621 Well, the shack's a dead end. 1032 00:39:02,623 --> 00:39:05,088 It's on abandoned land owned by a defunct mining company. 1033 00:39:05,090 --> 00:39:07,157 So, anyone could have put the booty out there. 1034 00:39:07,159 --> 00:39:08,558 (LAUGHS) 1035 00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:09,929 Why you laughing, Guy Smiley? 1036 00:39:11,331 --> 00:39:13,200 (PSYCHEDELIC MUSIC PLAYING) 1037 00:39:14,433 --> 00:39:15,933 (MAC LAUGHS) 1038 00:39:15,935 --> 00:39:18,168 Okay, if we stake out the shack 1039 00:39:18,170 --> 00:39:20,538 maybe we can catch someone coming or going. 1040 00:39:20,540 --> 00:39:21,605 Let's get back out there. 1041 00:39:21,607 --> 00:39:23,942 (PSYCHEDELIC MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) 1042 00:39:23,944 --> 00:39:26,177 Farva, hit the radio. 1043 00:39:26,179 --> 00:39:28,014 (SPEAKING JAPANESE) 1044 00:39:30,282 --> 00:39:31,284 (GONG RINGS) 1045 00:39:40,125 --> 00:39:41,592 O'HAGAN: (DISTORTED) You hearing this? 1046 00:39:41,594 --> 00:39:43,427 Come on! Hit the radio! 1047 00:39:43,429 --> 00:39:44,998 Farva! Come on! 1048 00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:49,136 (GIGGLING) 1049 00:39:52,038 --> 00:39:54,172 - (DOOR OPENS) - Uh-oh. 1050 00:39:54,174 --> 00:39:55,607 Woo-hoo! 1051 00:39:55,609 --> 00:39:57,375 I love grass! 1052 00:39:57,377 --> 00:39:59,143 I love life! 1053 00:39:59,145 --> 00:40:00,513 I love music! 1054 00:40:01,915 --> 00:40:03,547 RABBIT: Think puppies, not steroids. 1055 00:40:03,549 --> 00:40:05,750 Think puppies, not steroids. 1056 00:40:05,752 --> 00:40:08,322 Smiling. Puppies. 1057 00:40:09,288 --> 00:40:10,523 (EXHALES) 1058 00:40:11,156 --> 00:40:12,292 Whew! 1059 00:40:16,828 --> 00:40:19,697 Bunnies! Bunnies! 1060 00:40:19,699 --> 00:40:21,433 Hi, bunny. Hi. 1061 00:40:21,435 --> 00:40:24,936 Rabbit. My name's Rabbit. Oh, so cute little thing. 1062 00:40:24,938 --> 00:40:26,373 Bub, bub, bub, bub. 1063 00:40:32,411 --> 00:40:33,480 (CHUCKLES) 1064 00:40:36,782 --> 00:40:38,152 (CHUCKLES) 1065 00:40:38,817 --> 00:40:40,652 (LOUDLY) Just stay there! 1066 00:40:40,654 --> 00:40:43,054 (PETS WHIMPERING) 1067 00:40:43,056 --> 00:40:46,690 - (CHAIRS WHIRRING) - Feel the steroids melting away. 1068 00:40:46,692 --> 00:40:47,726 (MOANS) 1069 00:40:47,728 --> 00:40:49,793 Don't let the job stress you out. 1070 00:40:49,795 --> 00:40:50,994 I love the job. 1071 00:40:50,996 --> 00:40:53,730 Doesn't stress me out. Farva stresses me out. 1072 00:40:53,732 --> 00:40:54,931 Such a shame. 1073 00:40:54,933 --> 00:40:57,571 Why are the good-looking ones always so obnoxious? 1074 00:40:58,571 --> 00:40:59,871 You think he's good-looking? 1075 00:40:59,873 --> 00:41:01,338 (SPEAKS FRENCH) 1076 00:41:01,340 --> 00:41:04,842 "The bigger the cushion, the better the pushing." 1077 00:41:04,844 --> 00:41:07,045 - No. - (CHUCKLES) No. 1078 00:41:07,047 --> 00:41:07,945 (LAUGHS) 1079 00:41:07,947 --> 00:41:10,215 I would rather have sex with a baboon. 1080 00:41:10,217 --> 00:41:11,549 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1081 00:41:11,551 --> 00:41:12,550 It's funny though, huh? 1082 00:41:12,552 --> 00:41:15,386 We all have that one horrible person we work with. 1083 00:41:15,388 --> 00:41:18,690 For me, it's my office manager Lonnie Laloush. 1084 00:41:18,692 --> 00:41:22,125 Oh, he can be such a "deeckwad". 1085 00:41:22,127 --> 00:41:24,228 - (CHUCKLES) - What? 1086 00:41:24,230 --> 00:41:25,295 It's just with your accent, 1087 00:41:25,297 --> 00:41:27,264 the way you say "dickwad" is adorable. 1088 00:41:27,266 --> 00:41:29,599 No, but it's true. He is a deeckwad. 1089 00:41:29,601 --> 00:41:30,668 (LAUGHS) 1090 00:41:30,670 --> 00:41:32,469 (BELLEFUILLE SPEAKS FRENCH) 1091 00:41:32,471 --> 00:41:34,639 First you steal our job 1092 00:41:34,641 --> 00:41:35,806 and now you sit here 1093 00:41:35,808 --> 00:41:38,244 gazing lovingly into the eyes of our women. 1094 00:41:38,677 --> 00:41:40,210 Your women? 1095 00:41:40,212 --> 00:41:42,112 Well, maybe we should take him in the back, 1096 00:41:42,114 --> 00:41:44,215 give him Canadian handshake, eh? 1097 00:41:44,217 --> 00:41:45,215 What's that? 1098 00:41:45,217 --> 00:41:47,851 Let's just say it involve a bag of hockey puck 1099 00:41:47,853 --> 00:41:50,387 and a lot of warm gravy. 1100 00:41:50,389 --> 00:41:51,556 Mm. Sounds delicious. 1101 00:41:51,558 --> 00:41:53,090 - (HORN BLARES) - FARVA: Make way! 1102 00:41:53,092 --> 00:41:54,994 Hot soup coming through! 1103 00:41:55,828 --> 00:41:58,295 Oh, Canadian standoff, huh? 1104 00:41:58,297 --> 00:42:00,096 Oh, it look like professor Stephen Hawking 1105 00:42:00,098 --> 00:42:01,965 has really let himself go these days. 1106 00:42:01,967 --> 00:42:03,500 (LAUGHS BOISTEROUSLY) 1107 00:42:03,502 --> 00:42:05,270 (MIMICS LAUGHTER) 1108 00:42:05,272 --> 00:42:07,237 (IN ROBOTIC VOICE) When God created Canada, 1109 00:42:07,239 --> 00:42:10,340 it was like the universe farted. 1110 00:42:10,342 --> 00:42:11,241 (BLOWS RASPBERRY) 1111 00:42:11,243 --> 00:42:13,110 Why do all the fat one always ride around 1112 00:42:13,112 --> 00:42:14,478 on these little scooters? 1113 00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:16,614 You ever stop and think that if you walk, 1114 00:42:16,616 --> 00:42:17,849 you might actually be thin? 1115 00:42:17,851 --> 00:42:19,386 (BLOWING WHISTLE) 1116 00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:21,751 Wow. 1117 00:42:21,753 --> 00:42:24,889 These pigs are harassing the handicapped! 1118 00:42:24,891 --> 00:42:27,257 Everybody look. Take a phone video! 1119 00:42:27,259 --> 00:42:31,996 - MAN: Hey! Leave him alone! - Hey! This it is far from over. 1120 00:42:31,998 --> 00:42:34,264 - You want to go to TJ's Arcade? - Oui. 1121 00:42:34,266 --> 00:42:36,266 I have some loonie I need to break. 1122 00:42:36,268 --> 00:42:37,569 C'est bon. 1123 00:42:37,571 --> 00:42:39,404 (MUMBLES MOCK FRENCH) 1124 00:42:39,406 --> 00:42:40,907 Fuckin' Frenchies. 1125 00:42:43,009 --> 00:42:45,342 What are you two doing together? Mall walking? 1126 00:42:45,344 --> 00:42:48,145 We ran into each other at the pet store. 1127 00:42:48,147 --> 00:42:51,181 (CHUCKLES) Rabbit. You shopping for a new gerbil? 1128 00:42:51,183 --> 00:42:53,918 (LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY) 1129 00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:55,887 Hey, Gwenevieve how about the two of us 1130 00:42:55,889 --> 00:42:57,387 go over to the Saskatchuan Palace 1131 00:42:57,389 --> 00:42:59,657 and get a wang dang doodle? (CHUCKLES) 1132 00:42:59,659 --> 00:43:00,791 Uh, non. 1133 00:43:00,793 --> 00:43:03,226 Ooh, woof woof. Put a little bark on that and I'll bite. 1134 00:43:03,228 --> 00:43:06,399 (SCOFFS) Okay, I'm going to go. 1135 00:43:08,467 --> 00:43:09,800 It was great seeing you. 1136 00:43:09,802 --> 00:43:11,571 Don't leave on my account. (CHUCKLES) 1137 00:43:12,505 --> 00:43:14,308 Uh-huh! Cocky, huh? 1138 00:43:15,442 --> 00:43:16,607 How about we up the bet? 1139 00:43:16,609 --> 00:43:17,907 There is no bet, Farva. 1140 00:43:17,909 --> 00:43:19,344 Okay, new bet then. 1141 00:43:19,346 --> 00:43:22,612 Loser not only cuts off his pinky toe with a shovel, 1142 00:43:22,614 --> 00:43:23,947 he puts it in a blender 1143 00:43:23,949 --> 00:43:26,583 and drinks it in a smoothie, toenail and all. 1144 00:43:26,585 --> 00:43:27,817 - (SCOFFS) - Come on. 1145 00:43:27,819 --> 00:43:29,119 Shake it, don't mistake it. 1146 00:43:29,121 --> 00:43:30,587 You're serious? 1147 00:43:30,589 --> 00:43:31,755 Serious as a heart attack. 1148 00:43:31,757 --> 00:43:34,458 And I should know. I've had two. 1149 00:43:34,460 --> 00:43:36,960 (SCOOTER BEEPING) 1150 00:43:36,962 --> 00:43:38,497 - Wow. - FARVA: Pinky toe smoothie! 1151 00:43:43,435 --> 00:43:45,436 (LAUGHS) 1152 00:43:45,438 --> 00:43:47,607 - Somebody clean this up. - (HORN HONKS) 1153 00:43:56,482 --> 00:43:57,849 Son of a bitch. 1154 00:43:57,851 --> 00:43:58,916 Hey! 1155 00:43:58,918 --> 00:44:01,020 Heat goggles have arrived! 1156 00:44:01,987 --> 00:44:03,422 Looking hot, Mac. 1157 00:44:04,156 --> 00:44:06,424 Hey, nickel plated cuffs! 1158 00:44:06,426 --> 00:44:09,793 Oh, shit. These things are defective. 1159 00:44:09,795 --> 00:44:10,962 What's wrong with them? 1160 00:44:10,964 --> 00:44:12,163 They don't seem to lock. 1161 00:44:12,165 --> 00:44:13,864 Here. Let me see. 1162 00:44:13,866 --> 00:44:15,502 Here you go, Rabbit, give me that hand. 1163 00:44:18,837 --> 00:44:21,005 - THORNY: I got mine to work. - FOSTER: Maybe it's this one. 1164 00:44:21,007 --> 00:44:22,806 - Okay. - Oh, yeah, that works. Okay, good. 1165 00:44:22,808 --> 00:44:24,074 Try the ankle ones. 1166 00:44:24,076 --> 00:44:25,309 THORNY: Oh, you always gotta check the ankle ones. 1167 00:44:25,311 --> 00:44:26,578 FOSTER: That's the most important. 1168 00:44:26,580 --> 00:44:27,445 And here we go. 1169 00:44:27,447 --> 00:44:29,112 (CHUCKLES) You son-a-bitches. 1170 00:44:29,114 --> 00:44:30,614 You're not shaving my balls! 1171 00:44:30,616 --> 00:44:32,516 It would be an insult to our Canadian hosts if we didn't. 1172 00:44:32,518 --> 00:44:34,386 I'm not a rookie anymore. Get these off me. 1173 00:44:34,388 --> 00:44:35,953 Do you not want to be an ambassador of goodwill? 1174 00:44:35,955 --> 00:44:37,489 No. I don't. Get these off me. 1175 00:44:37,491 --> 00:44:39,623 Rabbit, it's not like we want to shave your balls. 1176 00:44:39,625 --> 00:44:41,192 Thorny, do you want to shave his balls? 1177 00:44:41,194 --> 00:44:42,726 - Me? Hell no. - Foster? 1178 00:44:42,728 --> 00:44:44,628 - No way. - You don't wanna shave his balls, do you, Farva? 1179 00:44:44,630 --> 00:44:45,829 Hell yeah, I do! 1180 00:44:45,831 --> 00:44:46,898 I even went out and bought 1181 00:44:46,900 --> 00:44:48,264 one of those old-timey straight razors. 1182 00:44:48,266 --> 00:44:50,367 - No. No. - Check this out. 1183 00:44:50,369 --> 00:44:52,369 - (CRACKLING) - (SHRIEKS) 1184 00:44:52,371 --> 00:44:53,237 FARVA: Jesus! 1185 00:44:53,239 --> 00:44:55,072 Goddamn Canadian wiring! 1186 00:44:55,074 --> 00:44:57,110 It's wrecking my freakin' sperm count! 1187 00:44:57,777 --> 00:44:59,009 (FARVA GROANS) 1188 00:44:59,011 --> 00:45:01,445 Are you still taking the Flova Scotia? 1189 00:45:01,447 --> 00:45:03,079 What part of "side effects include 1190 00:45:03,081 --> 00:45:04,782 "queefing and bitchiness" did you not understand? 1191 00:45:04,784 --> 00:45:07,550 Dude, the orgasms are like a moonshot. (CHUCKLES) 1192 00:45:07,552 --> 00:45:09,119 You can't keep taking female hormones. 1193 00:45:09,121 --> 00:45:10,487 It's gonna mess you up. 1194 00:45:10,489 --> 00:45:11,456 Jealous much? 1195 00:45:11,458 --> 00:45:13,090 Now who are you orgasming with? 1196 00:45:13,092 --> 00:45:15,259 (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) Her name is Quebecois Debbie. 1197 00:45:15,261 --> 00:45:18,295 Oh, Thorny, your cock, she is so wide. 1198 00:45:18,297 --> 00:45:20,931 - (BOTH CHUCKLING) - I'd fuck her. 1199 00:45:20,933 --> 00:45:22,000 (SCOFFS) 1200 00:45:22,002 --> 00:45:24,071 - Okay, let's shave this. - Don't. 1201 00:45:32,813 --> 00:45:34,114 (BEAR GRUNTS) 1202 00:45:36,848 --> 00:45:37,915 THORNY: Ready? 1203 00:45:37,917 --> 00:45:39,416 Seriously, cut the crap, guys. 1204 00:45:39,418 --> 00:45:41,555 (INDISTINCT CHATTER, LAUGHTER) 1205 00:45:44,656 --> 00:45:46,958 - O'HAGAN: Ahem! - (FOSTER CLEARS THROAT) 1206 00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:48,525 There's a bear in the station. 1207 00:45:48,527 --> 00:45:51,262 Is that a euphemism for something? 1208 00:45:51,264 --> 00:45:54,232 It's a euphemism for there's a goddamn bear 1209 00:45:54,234 --> 00:45:57,703 eating slabs of raw meat in the goddamn station! 1210 00:46:00,005 --> 00:46:02,306 (BEAR GROWLING) 1211 00:46:02,308 --> 00:46:03,974 - Yeah. Bear. - Okay. 1212 00:46:03,976 --> 00:46:05,041 Where are the guns? 1213 00:46:05,043 --> 00:46:06,744 In the room with the bear. 1214 00:46:06,746 --> 00:46:07,978 Tear gas grenades? 1215 00:46:07,980 --> 00:46:09,980 - I just got a new delivery! - There you go! Where is it? 1216 00:46:09,982 --> 00:46:12,449 In the room with the guns and the bear. 1217 00:46:12,451 --> 00:46:14,384 What if we send Rabbit out to fuck the bear 1218 00:46:14,386 --> 00:46:15,853 as a means of distracting said bear? 1219 00:46:15,855 --> 00:46:17,320 - Yes. - God damn it, 1220 00:46:17,322 --> 00:46:18,859 we've got to get the meat out of there! 1221 00:46:20,326 --> 00:46:21,992 Fine, fuck it. I'll do it. 1222 00:46:21,994 --> 00:46:23,527 - I'll go with you. - Really? 1223 00:46:23,529 --> 00:46:24,996 Yeah. What's the worst that could happen? 1224 00:46:24,998 --> 00:46:26,163 You get mauled by the bear. 1225 00:46:26,165 --> 00:46:27,598 Or that bear could get mauled by me. 1226 00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:29,366 - You ever think about that? - No, I didn't. 1227 00:46:29,368 --> 00:46:30,434 Okay, here's the plan: 1228 00:46:30,436 --> 00:46:31,703 I'll go out there and distract the bear, 1229 00:46:31,705 --> 00:46:32,569 while you get the meat 1230 00:46:32,571 --> 00:46:33,871 and get it the hell out of the station. 1231 00:46:33,873 --> 00:46:34,938 Team Ram-Rod! 1232 00:46:34,940 --> 00:46:36,442 Please don't start with that shit. 1233 00:46:40,746 --> 00:46:41,811 (SNORTS) 1234 00:46:41,813 --> 00:46:43,315 FOSTER: Good luck, fellas. 1235 00:46:45,049 --> 00:46:47,153 (WHISPERS) Okay. You stay here. 1236 00:46:50,822 --> 00:46:52,855 Big boy. Hey, big boy! 1237 00:46:52,857 --> 00:46:54,724 (WHISTLES, CAWING) 1238 00:46:54,726 --> 00:46:55,793 (GRUNTS) 1239 00:46:55,795 --> 00:46:57,161 - Oh, boy. - Oh, no. 1240 00:46:57,163 --> 00:47:00,163 Come here, Ditka. Come here. Come here, boy! 1241 00:47:00,165 --> 00:47:01,368 (WHISPERS) Go, go, go. 1242 00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:03,369 - Come on! - (GROWLS) 1243 00:47:03,935 --> 00:47:05,369 Come on! Come on! 1244 00:47:05,371 --> 00:47:06,770 - Come, come! - (ROARS) 1245 00:47:06,772 --> 00:47:07,837 Okay. 1246 00:47:07,839 --> 00:47:09,340 Okay, okay. 1247 00:47:09,342 --> 00:47:10,407 Fuck you, bear. 1248 00:47:10,409 --> 00:47:11,945 - (GROWLING) - Shit. 1249 00:47:15,714 --> 00:47:16,715 Shit. 1250 00:47:20,485 --> 00:47:21,554 (GRUNTS) 1251 00:47:24,757 --> 00:47:25,956 (YELLING) 1252 00:47:25,958 --> 00:47:27,260 THORNY: Go, go, go, go! 1253 00:47:29,962 --> 00:47:31,764 (WHIMPERING) 1254 00:47:32,431 --> 00:47:33,398 (SNARLS) 1255 00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:35,132 ♪ Big bear ♪ 1256 00:47:35,134 --> 00:47:36,300 (GRUNTING) 1257 00:47:36,302 --> 00:47:37,768 ♪ Got a chest like a rug ♪ 1258 00:47:37,770 --> 00:47:38,936 Oh, shit. 1259 00:47:38,938 --> 00:47:41,871 ♪ He don't take no guff, he's Big Bear ♪ 1260 00:47:41,873 --> 00:47:43,107 Hey. Hey. 1261 00:47:43,109 --> 00:47:45,375 Get out of there. Stop. 1262 00:47:45,377 --> 00:47:47,145 - Should I shoot him? - Who? Farva? 1263 00:47:47,147 --> 00:47:48,279 Ooh, good idea. 1264 00:47:48,281 --> 00:47:49,882 No, no! No, no, no. 1265 00:47:50,782 --> 00:47:51,949 (WHIMPERS) 1266 00:47:51,951 --> 00:47:53,217 (GROWLS) 1267 00:47:53,219 --> 00:47:54,884 Go away! 1268 00:47:54,886 --> 00:47:56,355 (SHRIEKING) 1269 00:47:57,456 --> 00:47:58,625 ALL: Oh! 1270 00:47:59,491 --> 00:48:01,391 - Get away, bear. - (GROWLS) 1271 00:48:01,393 --> 00:48:04,594 ♪ Come on, give a bear a hug ♪ 1272 00:48:04,596 --> 00:48:06,896 Go! Go! Go! 1273 00:48:06,898 --> 00:48:08,368 Get out of here. Fuck. 1274 00:48:10,936 --> 00:48:12,936 (ALL CHEERING) 1275 00:48:12,938 --> 00:48:15,038 Holy shit, I "bear-ly" made it. 1276 00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:17,174 (ALL LAUGHING) 1277 00:48:17,176 --> 00:48:18,875 That could've been "grizzly". 1278 00:48:18,877 --> 00:48:20,444 - (ALL CHUCKLE) - Yeah. 1279 00:48:20,446 --> 00:48:22,378 I think someone took a "growler" in here. 1280 00:48:22,380 --> 00:48:23,715 - Shoot him. - (COCKS GUN) 1281 00:48:23,717 --> 00:48:26,817 - (INDISTINCT CHATTER IN CAR) - MAC: Fuckin' Mounties! 1282 00:48:26,819 --> 00:48:28,085 Son of a bitch! 1283 00:48:28,087 --> 00:48:30,688 Those guys have been assholes since the moment we arrived 1284 00:48:30,690 --> 00:48:32,355 and now they are trying to kill us. 1285 00:48:32,357 --> 00:48:34,190 This goes a lot farther than just being angry 1286 00:48:34,192 --> 00:48:35,659 about losing their jobs. 1287 00:48:35,661 --> 00:48:37,295 Cap, we've been pelted by hockey pucks, 1288 00:48:37,297 --> 00:48:38,895 had dicks tugged in front of our faces 1289 00:48:38,897 --> 00:48:41,498 and gotten our asses kicked by prostitutes of both sexes. 1290 00:48:41,500 --> 00:48:43,934 I think it's time we had our own fun. Who's with me? 1291 00:48:43,936 --> 00:48:45,203 - (ALL CHEER) - Yeah! Let's go! 1292 00:48:45,205 --> 00:48:47,804 Dude, you fuckin' stink. 1293 00:48:47,806 --> 00:48:48,942 Sorry. 1294 00:48:49,775 --> 00:48:53,643 Guys! Guys! Anyone? 1295 00:48:53,645 --> 00:48:55,880 The shaving cream is starting to burn. 1296 00:48:55,882 --> 00:48:57,114 Did you use menthol?! 1297 00:48:57,116 --> 00:48:59,884 FEMALE NARRATOR: Hair loss, queefing and bitchiness. 1298 00:48:59,886 --> 00:49:02,619 Flova Scotia, eh? 1299 00:49:02,621 --> 00:49:05,655 Fuckin' rights. It's the same guy, bud. 1300 00:49:05,657 --> 00:49:08,358 No, no, no. It's a different guy, that guy, eh. 1301 00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:10,460 Yeah, no! That's Danny DeVito! 1302 00:49:10,462 --> 00:49:13,230 (GRUNTS) Danny DeVito is the actor from Taxi, 1303 00:49:13,232 --> 00:49:14,565 but that guy I like, 1304 00:49:14,567 --> 00:49:17,300 he come out on Always Sunny in Philadelphia's. 1305 00:49:17,302 --> 00:49:18,636 Bud, they're the same guy. 1306 00:49:18,638 --> 00:49:20,603 How many 145-centimeter actors do you think there are? 1307 00:49:20,605 --> 00:49:22,172 They're both Danny DeVito! 1308 00:49:22,174 --> 00:49:23,340 (INDISTINCT MUMBLING) 1309 00:49:23,342 --> 00:49:25,742 No, Danny DeVito Taxi long time ago. 1310 00:49:25,744 --> 00:49:28,612 But this producer from Always Sunnys, 1311 00:49:28,614 --> 00:49:30,480 they like him so much, (POPS LIPS) 1312 00:49:30,482 --> 00:49:32,882 they put him it into the show, eh. 1313 00:49:32,884 --> 00:49:35,351 That doesn't mean they can't be the same guy, bud. 1314 00:49:35,353 --> 00:49:36,786 That's one guy. It's a different era. 1315 00:49:36,788 --> 00:49:38,654 He can do two shows in fucking 30 years. 1316 00:49:38,656 --> 00:49:40,623 How many times do we have to go over this? 1317 00:49:40,625 --> 00:49:42,527 It's the same fucking guy! 1318 00:49:42,529 --> 00:49:44,762 - (OBJECT CLATTERING) - (MUMBLING) 1319 00:49:44,764 --> 00:49:47,931 He is right, you know. It is the same guy. 1320 00:49:47,933 --> 00:49:49,933 Danny DeVito was in Taxis 1321 00:49:49,935 --> 00:49:52,871 but he is also in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia's. 1322 00:49:53,538 --> 00:49:55,405 I know. I make joke on him. 1323 00:49:55,407 --> 00:49:58,241 He think I don't know but I know, eh. 1324 00:49:58,243 --> 00:50:01,011 (CHUCKLES) 1325 00:50:01,013 --> 00:50:03,947 You know who is my favorite, uh, superhero villain? 1326 00:50:03,949 --> 00:50:06,449 Is the Penguin from Batman film, eh. 1327 00:50:06,451 --> 00:50:08,853 That's fuckin' Danny DeVito, bud. 1328 00:50:08,855 --> 00:50:10,154 Get a fucking clue! 1329 00:50:10,156 --> 00:50:11,721 That's Danny DeVito you just said! 1330 00:50:11,723 --> 00:50:13,357 Can you believe this fuckin' guy doesn't know 1331 00:50:13,359 --> 00:50:14,424 who Danny DeVito is? 1332 00:50:14,426 --> 00:50:15,692 Who you mean? The singer? 1333 00:50:15,694 --> 00:50:18,429 No, the fuckin' actor! Danny DeVito. 1334 00:50:18,431 --> 00:50:20,463 The guy who's married to Rhea Perlman! 1335 00:50:20,465 --> 00:50:22,299 Oh, I like him in Hellboy. 1336 00:50:22,301 --> 00:50:23,735 That's Ron Perlman! 1337 00:50:23,737 --> 00:50:26,837 Doesn't matter. Archambault! Hockey is back on! 1338 00:50:26,839 --> 00:50:28,137 What the fuck is wrong with you guys? 1339 00:50:28,139 --> 00:50:29,873 Both of you. You're fucki'' from another planet. 1340 00:50:29,875 --> 00:50:31,675 I can't believe we live in the same country. 1341 00:50:31,677 --> 00:50:33,043 - (PHONE RINGING) - Oh, the fucking phone 1342 00:50:33,045 --> 00:50:34,578 is ringing during hockey night in Canada! 1343 00:50:34,580 --> 00:50:36,612 Who is calling during hockey night in Canada?! 1344 00:50:36,614 --> 00:50:38,782 Who the fuck even has a hard line anymore? 1345 00:50:38,784 --> 00:50:41,351 Archambault, rip the fuckin' phone out of the wall! 1346 00:50:41,353 --> 00:50:42,587 What's next? You're gonna have someone 1347 00:50:42,589 --> 00:50:44,654 deliver a pizza during the fuckin' overtime?! 1348 00:50:44,656 --> 00:50:45,859 (YELLS) 1349 00:50:47,259 --> 00:50:48,893 - (HISSING) - What the fuck? 1350 00:50:48,895 --> 00:50:49,896 (PODEIN COUGHS) 1351 00:50:55,701 --> 00:50:57,701 You know, the other guy I like, 1352 00:50:57,703 --> 00:50:59,536 is the one giving Billy Crystal 1353 00:50:59,538 --> 00:51:01,940 the problem in Throw Momma and the Trains. 1354 00:51:04,810 --> 00:51:06,679 Holy merde. 1355 00:51:07,045 --> 00:51:08,514 (YELLS) 1356 00:51:09,315 --> 00:51:11,348 (GRUNTING) 1357 00:51:11,350 --> 00:51:12,552 (GROANS) 1358 00:51:15,321 --> 00:51:16,790 (GROWLING) 1359 00:51:17,355 --> 00:51:18,624 (LAUGHTER) 1360 00:51:20,393 --> 00:51:21,525 (GRUNTING) 1361 00:51:21,527 --> 00:51:22,729 THORNY: Get him! 1362 00:51:23,462 --> 00:51:24,831 (CRACKLING) 1363 00:51:27,032 --> 00:51:28,467 (GROANING) 1364 00:51:31,270 --> 00:51:33,139 (CHEERING) 1365 00:51:35,074 --> 00:51:36,440 Great fight, guys! 1366 00:51:36,442 --> 00:51:39,242 Pennyworth ADH4 SureShot Cattle Prod. 1367 00:51:39,244 --> 00:51:40,444 Every station needs one. 1368 00:51:40,446 --> 00:51:42,445 (ALL CHEERING) 1369 00:51:42,447 --> 00:51:44,451 I can't breathe. 1370 00:51:54,293 --> 00:51:57,130 - (MUFFLED GRUNTS AND SHOUTS) - (CATTLE PROD CRACKLING) 1371 00:51:59,098 --> 00:52:01,098 (MOUNTIES GROANING) 1372 00:52:01,100 --> 00:52:04,000 We know it's you guys. We can see your mustaches. 1373 00:52:04,002 --> 00:52:05,869 Come on, you can't leave us out here. 1374 00:52:05,871 --> 00:52:08,739 We are at least 100 kilomètres in the woods! 1375 00:52:08,741 --> 00:52:10,143 ARCHAMBAULT: Maybe more, huh? 1376 00:52:15,214 --> 00:52:16,712 (ALL PANTING) 1377 00:52:16,714 --> 00:52:19,518 BELLEFUILLE: Ah, tabernacle. Here come the mosquito. 1378 00:52:20,185 --> 00:52:22,154 (ALL CHEERING) 1379 00:52:24,522 --> 00:52:25,755 We got 24 hours 1380 00:52:25,757 --> 00:52:27,925 to desecrate the good names of these dickfucks. 1381 00:52:27,927 --> 00:52:30,194 - (ALL CHEERING) - Let's do it! 1382 00:52:30,196 --> 00:52:32,295 (ALL CHEERING AND WHOOPING) 1383 00:52:32,297 --> 00:52:35,233 (COUNTS IN FRENCH) 1384 00:52:35,235 --> 00:52:37,070 Let's do it. 1385 00:52:40,906 --> 00:52:43,076 License and registration, eh! 1386 00:52:44,243 --> 00:52:45,241 Here you go. 1387 00:52:45,243 --> 00:52:46,610 FARVA: (ON RADIO) Captain, come in, Captain. 1388 00:52:46,612 --> 00:52:48,445 - Officer. - FARVA: Captain, come in. 1389 00:52:48,447 --> 00:52:50,181 MAN: Officer, here you go. 1390 00:52:50,183 --> 00:52:51,482 FARVA: Are you hearing anything, Captain? 1391 00:52:51,484 --> 00:52:52,815 You think maybe your buddy is getting 1392 00:52:52,817 --> 00:52:54,888 a little old for this? I mean, a deaf cop? 1393 00:52:55,388 --> 00:52:57,288 Who said that, eh? 1394 00:52:57,290 --> 00:53:00,623 Ooh. You, sir, have the nose of a king. 1395 00:53:00,625 --> 00:53:03,393 Hold tight, I'm gonna get my ticket book. 1396 00:53:03,395 --> 00:53:04,829 (FOSTER GROANS) 1397 00:53:04,831 --> 00:53:06,563 (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Ya! Hey there. 1398 00:53:06,565 --> 00:53:08,498 - License and registration. - All right. 1399 00:53:08,500 --> 00:53:10,366 (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Let's go! License and registration, eh! 1400 00:53:10,368 --> 00:53:11,567 (SNICKERING) 1401 00:53:11,569 --> 00:53:12,636 (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) What's so funny... 1402 00:53:12,638 --> 00:53:15,304 ...Mr. Matt Tomon? 1403 00:53:15,306 --> 00:53:16,373 You think it's funny that 1404 00:53:16,375 --> 00:53:17,875 I lost my balls in a tractor pull? 1405 00:53:17,877 --> 00:53:19,677 Wait, you both got your nuts ripped off 1406 00:53:19,679 --> 00:53:20,811 in a tractor pull? 1407 00:53:20,813 --> 00:53:22,645 I lost mine in the spokes of my bicycle. 1408 00:53:22,647 --> 00:53:24,616 You know how fast that will stop a bicycle? 1409 00:53:26,752 --> 00:53:28,418 MAN: Hey, Officer! 1410 00:53:28,420 --> 00:53:30,820 - Hey, you're on my wagon. - What? 1411 00:53:30,822 --> 00:53:33,989 Come on! Wake up! Wake up! 1412 00:53:33,991 --> 00:53:35,827 FARVA: License and registration, hey? 1413 00:53:37,395 --> 00:53:39,628 'Scuse me one second, eh. 1414 00:53:39,630 --> 00:53:41,030 - You bitch! - (GRUNTS) 1415 00:53:41,032 --> 00:53:43,002 - Get back here, you! - FARVA: Ow! Ow! 1416 00:53:45,237 --> 00:53:47,204 - Hey, there. - Hi. 1417 00:53:47,206 --> 00:53:49,273 License and registration. 1418 00:53:49,275 --> 00:53:52,509 Aren't you the two that pulled me over before? 1419 00:53:52,511 --> 00:53:53,811 Beg your pardon? 1420 00:53:53,813 --> 00:53:57,447 How are you Mounties now? Or should I say Meow-nties? 1421 00:53:57,449 --> 00:53:59,083 - (CHUCKLES) - Say what now? 1422 00:53:59,085 --> 00:54:01,116 Few years ago, you pulled me over 1423 00:54:01,118 --> 00:54:03,219 and you played some game where you said "meow." 1424 00:54:03,221 --> 00:54:05,221 Buddy, I've said a thousand stupid things 1425 00:54:05,223 --> 00:54:06,422 to people over the years. 1426 00:54:06,424 --> 00:54:08,090 You asked if I saw you jumping around 1427 00:54:08,092 --> 00:54:10,793 all nimbly-bimbly from tree to tree? 1428 00:54:10,795 --> 00:54:12,962 (CHUCKLES) I can assure you I've never said the words 1429 00:54:12,964 --> 00:54:15,431 "nimbly-bimbly" in my life. 1430 00:54:15,433 --> 00:54:17,101 - You fucker! - Oh, you bitch! 1431 00:54:17,103 --> 00:54:18,467 (FARVA GROANING) 1432 00:54:18,469 --> 00:54:20,570 Where's the gosh darn cruiser? 1433 00:54:20,572 --> 00:54:21,804 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1434 00:54:21,806 --> 00:54:23,674 Dude, your partner is about to get mucked! 1435 00:54:23,676 --> 00:54:25,641 Where you going, mister? Freeze! 1436 00:54:25,643 --> 00:54:26,912 - (HORN BLARES) - (TIRES SCREECH) 1437 00:54:28,346 --> 00:54:29,381 Ow. Ow! 1438 00:54:32,183 --> 00:54:33,449 (SIGHS) 1439 00:54:33,451 --> 00:54:34,650 - (HONKS HORN) - (SCREAMS) 1440 00:54:34,652 --> 00:54:36,420 (ALL SCREAMING) 1441 00:54:36,422 --> 00:54:38,288 Bro! 1442 00:54:38,290 --> 00:54:40,324 Hang on. Do you really not remember this guy 1443 00:54:40,326 --> 00:54:41,458 or you just fuckin' with him? 1444 00:54:41,460 --> 00:54:42,659 (WHISPERS) Yeah, I have no idea who he is. 1445 00:54:42,661 --> 00:54:43,994 You know I heard everything you said. 1446 00:54:43,996 --> 00:54:45,728 Son of a bitch. We've been doing that for years. 1447 00:54:45,730 --> 00:54:47,898 Forget it. Am I getting a ticket here, or... 1448 00:54:47,900 --> 00:54:49,199 You know what? I want to get my head around this 1449 00:54:49,201 --> 00:54:50,800 'cause now it's driving me crazy. 1450 00:54:50,802 --> 00:54:52,770 Let's do this. We'll switch. You'll be me, I'll be you 1451 00:54:52,772 --> 00:54:54,170 and then you'll do the routine. 1452 00:54:54,172 --> 00:54:55,072 What? All right. 1453 00:54:55,074 --> 00:54:56,709 Ah, you'll kill it, you'll kill it. 1454 00:54:57,076 --> 00:54:58,308 (GRUNTS) 1455 00:54:58,310 --> 00:55:01,911 License and registration meow. Come on, meow. 1456 00:55:01,913 --> 00:55:04,280 - Hey! Now I remember it! - (BOTH LAUGHING) 1457 00:55:04,282 --> 00:55:06,382 - I remember it now. - You remember that. 1458 00:55:06,384 --> 00:55:08,686 In the meanwhile, never give your car keys to a stranger. 1459 00:55:08,688 --> 00:55:09,786 Why is that? 1460 00:55:09,788 --> 00:55:11,755 FOSTER: (GIGGLES) See you, sucker! 1461 00:55:11,757 --> 00:55:14,991 MAC: I knew it was you the whole time, asshole! 1462 00:55:14,993 --> 00:55:17,293 (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) What the hell's going on here? Huh? 1463 00:55:17,295 --> 00:55:19,797 Looks like someone's smoking the reefer joints. 1464 00:55:19,799 --> 00:55:21,197 No, that's not marijuana. 1465 00:55:21,199 --> 00:55:22,366 We'll see about that. 1466 00:55:22,368 --> 00:55:24,067 (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Farva, that's not a good idea! 1467 00:55:24,069 --> 00:55:25,237 (SCREAMING) 1468 00:55:26,237 --> 00:55:27,304 What's the... 1469 00:55:27,306 --> 00:55:29,739 (SIREN WAILING) 1470 00:55:29,741 --> 00:55:31,009 Okay, this is happening. 1471 00:55:34,712 --> 00:55:36,948 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 1472 00:55:38,016 --> 00:55:39,215 Sorry. 1473 00:55:39,217 --> 00:55:41,552 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 1474 00:55:41,554 --> 00:55:42,619 We're from America. 1475 00:55:42,621 --> 00:55:43,887 We don't speak French. 1476 00:55:43,889 --> 00:55:44,924 Oh. 1477 00:55:45,458 --> 00:55:46,859 (HORSE NEIGHING) 1478 00:55:48,826 --> 00:55:50,427 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 1479 00:55:50,429 --> 00:55:51,895 Do neither of you speak English? 1480 00:55:51,897 --> 00:55:53,563 - (IN FRENCH ACCENT) I do. - Oh. 1481 00:55:53,565 --> 00:55:55,398 Em... (CLICKS TONGUE) 1482 00:55:55,400 --> 00:55:56,900 Your papers. 1483 00:55:56,902 --> 00:56:00,904 We would like to eat your papers. 1484 00:56:00,906 --> 00:56:03,940 (IN FRENCH ACCENT) Can you show me your party papers? 1485 00:56:03,942 --> 00:56:06,409 - You want to see our party papers? - Party papers? 1486 00:56:06,411 --> 00:56:07,878 Bon vivant bouillabaisse, 1487 00:56:07,880 --> 00:56:10,112 cul de sac, les serve chicken cordon bleu. 1488 00:56:10,114 --> 00:56:11,915 Formidable Baton Rouge. 1489 00:56:11,917 --> 00:56:14,184 No bles or blis, o bon pain Château Marmont? 1490 00:56:14,186 --> 00:56:16,152 - Croque monsieur? - Croque madame! 1491 00:56:16,154 --> 00:56:17,221 (SCOFFS) Non! 1492 00:56:17,223 --> 00:56:18,355 Est stupid! 1493 00:56:18,357 --> 00:56:20,523 Frère Jacques, Grey Poupon, Marquis de Sade, 1494 00:56:20,525 --> 00:56:21,724 tourette whoop! 1495 00:56:21,726 --> 00:56:23,893 Feather duster, croissant, Les Miserables, 1496 00:56:23,895 --> 00:56:26,161 fart catcher, Luc Robitaille, D'artagnan, 1497 00:56:26,163 --> 00:56:28,831 Perrier, Fran Tarkenton, peanut butter parfait. 1498 00:56:28,833 --> 00:56:29,933 Eau de toilette! 1499 00:56:29,935 --> 00:56:31,302 (IMITATES MOCKINGLY) 1500 00:56:31,304 --> 00:56:32,902 Officers? I'm sorry. 1501 00:56:32,904 --> 00:56:34,371 You're, you're obviously in... 1502 00:56:34,373 --> 00:56:35,672 No, no, no, no, no. 1503 00:56:35,674 --> 00:56:38,775 I must apologize, uh, for me and my partner. 1504 00:56:38,777 --> 00:56:40,177 We should not fight. 1505 00:56:40,179 --> 00:56:42,277 To argue is no way to go through the life. 1506 00:56:42,279 --> 00:56:43,279 I know. 1507 00:56:43,281 --> 00:56:45,449 - Do you know the key to life? - What's that? 1508 00:56:45,451 --> 00:56:47,753 The key to life is a... 1509 00:56:48,386 --> 00:56:50,954 a penis in your asshole. 1510 00:56:50,956 --> 00:56:53,223 I beg your pardon, sir! 1511 00:56:53,225 --> 00:56:55,458 I think you must be saying that wrong! 1512 00:56:55,460 --> 00:57:00,130 No, no, no. The key to life is a penis in your asshole. 1513 00:57:00,132 --> 00:57:02,666 I don't think you're saying what you mean to say. 1514 00:57:02,668 --> 00:57:03,866 Oui! Oui! Oui! 1515 00:57:03,868 --> 00:57:05,101 A penis. A penis. 1516 00:57:05,103 --> 00:57:08,174 You know, eh, eh, to smile. To be happy. 1517 00:57:08,440 --> 00:57:10,007 Oh! 1518 00:57:10,009 --> 00:57:12,241 - "Happiness!" - (ALL CHUCKLE) 1519 00:57:12,243 --> 00:57:13,744 Honey! It's... 1520 00:57:13,746 --> 00:57:15,179 Okay. 1521 00:57:15,181 --> 00:57:16,816 In your asshole. 1522 00:57:17,482 --> 00:57:18,581 That's... 1523 00:57:18,583 --> 00:57:20,849 Your asshole. Eh, where you live. 1524 00:57:20,851 --> 00:57:23,520 Your apartment, your domicile. 1525 00:57:23,522 --> 00:57:24,920 Your house. 1526 00:57:24,922 --> 00:57:26,290 - "Household!" - Ah! 1527 00:57:26,292 --> 00:57:29,759 "The key to life is happiness in your household!" 1528 00:57:29,761 --> 00:57:32,295 Oui, the key to life is "a penis in your asshole"! 1529 00:57:32,297 --> 00:57:34,264 - Oh! - I'm trying to tell her that. 1530 00:57:34,266 --> 00:57:36,002 (ALL LAUGHING) 1531 00:57:38,670 --> 00:57:40,237 What you think I say? 1532 00:57:40,239 --> 00:57:41,704 Oh, I don't even want to tell you. 1533 00:57:41,706 --> 00:57:43,607 Maybe they'll get a kick out of it. 1534 00:57:43,609 --> 00:57:45,409 We thought that you said, 1535 00:57:45,411 --> 00:57:50,346 that the key to life is a penis in your asshole. 1536 00:57:50,348 --> 00:57:52,315 Sacrebleu, non! 1537 00:57:52,317 --> 00:57:54,717 You Americans think everyone want to fuck you! 1538 00:57:54,719 --> 00:57:56,686 No one want to fuck you! 1539 00:57:56,688 --> 00:57:58,087 Merde! 1540 00:57:58,089 --> 00:58:00,225 Here is your party papers! 1541 00:58:00,958 --> 00:58:03,326 I thought Canadians were nice. 1542 00:58:03,328 --> 00:58:05,661 THORNY: Whoa! Whoa! Wait for me. Okay. 1543 00:58:05,663 --> 00:58:06,829 (LAUGHTER) 1544 00:58:06,831 --> 00:58:07,998 I was thinking we could do like 1545 00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:09,266 a "Who's on First?" pullover. 1546 00:58:09,268 --> 00:58:11,936 "Rabbit and Fostello." You know, old-time comedy. 1547 00:58:11,938 --> 00:58:13,139 - Love it. - Ooh. 1548 00:58:16,007 --> 00:58:18,342 - How are they back so quick? - Shit! Shit, shit, shit! 1549 00:58:18,344 --> 00:58:19,378 - Shit! - Go, go, go, go! 1550 00:58:27,853 --> 00:58:29,619 There are these son-of-a-bitch guys, eh! 1551 00:58:29,621 --> 00:58:31,355 Stomp you a new mudhole! 1552 00:58:31,357 --> 00:58:32,288 O'HAGAN: Whoa, whoa! 1553 00:58:32,290 --> 00:58:34,123 What the hell happened to you guys? 1554 00:58:34,125 --> 00:58:35,992 They dump us in the woods! 1555 00:58:35,994 --> 00:58:37,828 What?! Why would we do that? We're the police. 1556 00:58:37,830 --> 00:58:39,262 Too bad for you my dad dropped me in the woods 1557 00:58:39,264 --> 00:58:41,431 - naked every summer! - Hah? 1558 00:58:41,433 --> 00:58:42,831 Oh, sounds too bad for you. 1559 00:58:42,833 --> 00:58:44,735 Come on. You know you do this. Look at us. 1560 00:58:44,737 --> 00:58:47,103 We are paint all red, white and blue. 1561 00:58:47,105 --> 00:58:48,771 Aren't those the colors of the French flag? 1562 00:58:48,773 --> 00:58:50,907 (SPUTTERS) Oh, the color the French flag. 1563 00:58:50,909 --> 00:58:52,041 Perhaps the guys who did this were British. 1564 00:58:52,043 --> 00:58:53,576 Could've been Costa Rican. 1565 00:58:53,578 --> 00:58:55,311 Who wants breakfast burritos? 1566 00:58:55,313 --> 00:58:57,614 - (SPEAKS FRENCH) - (EXCLAIMING) 1567 00:58:57,616 --> 00:58:58,482 Take that off or I'll kill you. 1568 00:58:58,484 --> 00:59:00,016 Let's settle this the Canadian way! 1569 00:59:00,018 --> 00:59:01,284 You're in America now! 1570 00:59:01,286 --> 00:59:03,554 (CLAMORING) 1571 00:59:03,556 --> 00:59:06,056 Hey! What's going on here? 1572 00:59:06,058 --> 00:59:08,425 Great Tim Horton's ghost! 1573 00:59:08,427 --> 00:59:10,293 First, I get a call that the Mounties 1574 00:59:10,295 --> 00:59:12,228 are out farting sideways on the highways. 1575 00:59:12,230 --> 00:59:13,864 Then I get a call to come down here. 1576 00:59:13,866 --> 00:59:15,065 BELLEFUILLE: Oh, it wasn't us! 1577 00:59:15,067 --> 00:59:17,067 These fucking guys, they kidnap us 1578 00:59:17,069 --> 00:59:18,500 and they leave us in the woods to die. 1579 00:59:18,502 --> 00:59:21,570 Yeah, then they steal all three of our uniform, eh. 1580 00:59:21,572 --> 00:59:24,340 These guys put a bear in our station! A real bear. Big bear! 1581 00:59:24,342 --> 00:59:26,842 You don't have any proof of that. 1582 00:59:26,844 --> 00:59:27,976 A real bear? 1583 00:59:27,978 --> 00:59:30,848 Maybe. And maybe they deserve a bear! 1584 00:59:30,850 --> 00:59:32,181 - (CLAMORING) - Nobody deserves a bear! 1585 00:59:32,183 --> 00:59:33,784 I give a bear to you! 1586 00:59:33,786 --> 00:59:35,655 - We could have been eaten! - (LAUGHING) 1587 00:59:37,922 --> 00:59:40,223 Why you laughing, Guy? 1588 00:59:40,225 --> 00:59:43,994 Fellas, you are thinking about this all wrong, eh? 1589 00:59:43,996 --> 00:59:47,266 These guys? They impersonated officers. 1590 00:59:48,366 --> 00:59:51,099 There is no way they're holding onto their jobs. 1591 00:59:51,101 --> 00:59:53,469 And I'll do you one better. 1592 00:59:53,471 --> 00:59:56,706 When I get done talking to my good friend Justin Trudeau... 1593 00:59:56,708 --> 00:59:58,108 Eh, the Prime Minister! 1594 00:59:58,110 --> 00:59:59,842 I bet you this whole turnover thing 1595 00:59:59,844 --> 01:00:01,210 goes right out the window. 1596 01:00:01,212 --> 01:00:02,378 Boom! 1597 01:00:02,380 --> 01:00:04,848 So, boys, unpack your bags. Revive those cable bundles. 1598 01:00:04,850 --> 01:00:06,549 'Cause you are not going anywhere. 1599 01:00:06,551 --> 01:00:08,717 I say we celebrate. What are we having for breakfast? 1600 01:00:08,719 --> 01:00:10,887 - Pancake. - Pancake, yeah? 1601 01:00:10,889 --> 01:00:12,389 All right. Oatmeal and raisins it is. 1602 01:00:12,391 --> 01:00:14,456 - Oh. - Kidding. It's pancakes. 1603 01:00:14,458 --> 01:00:17,561 Eh, pancake! Maybe two eggs side by each, eh? 1604 01:00:17,563 --> 01:00:18,728 I don't want this oatmeal. 1605 01:00:18,730 --> 01:00:20,967 BELLEFUILLE: Maybe you put the raisins inside the pancake. 1606 01:00:21,866 --> 01:00:23,366 Genevieve, wait. 1607 01:00:23,368 --> 01:00:25,634 You brought this on yourselves. 1608 01:00:25,636 --> 01:00:27,105 They put a bear... 1609 01:00:28,940 --> 01:00:31,007 This is bad, fellas. 1610 01:00:31,009 --> 01:00:34,244 This is "Fred Savage Ridin'-Along Incident" bad. 1611 01:00:34,246 --> 01:00:35,779 Tell that to Fred Savage. 1612 01:00:35,781 --> 01:00:38,348 Well, no sense in having good breakfast go to waste. 1613 01:00:38,350 --> 01:00:39,715 - I've lost my appetite. - I'm sorry, man. 1614 01:00:39,717 --> 01:00:41,351 - I'm just not hungry. - (CHUCKLES AND STAMMERS) 1615 01:00:41,353 --> 01:00:43,319 You try to do something nice for people, 1616 01:00:43,321 --> 01:00:45,725 and then it just, I just, you know. 1617 01:00:46,458 --> 01:00:48,226 What's the point? 1618 01:00:49,194 --> 01:00:52,362 Stop taking female hormones! 1619 01:00:52,364 --> 01:00:53,630 ♪ Makin' money ♪ 1620 01:00:53,632 --> 01:00:55,065 ♪ Makin' dollars, makin' money ♪ 1621 01:00:55,067 --> 01:00:56,433 MAC: Can we please come in, Cap? 1622 01:00:56,435 --> 01:00:58,835 - He's taking years off my life. - (BURPING) 1623 01:00:58,837 --> 01:01:00,402 O'HAGAN: Just the bad years, kid. 1624 01:01:00,404 --> 01:01:02,471 - I'm serious, Cap. I'm about to snap like a dry twig. - (BURPS) 1625 01:01:02,473 --> 01:01:05,175 Things are still pretty dicey here. Best keep Farva away. 1626 01:01:05,177 --> 01:01:07,344 We'll let you know when the coast is clear. 1627 01:01:07,346 --> 01:01:09,415 (MUSIC PLAYING ON EARPHONES) 1628 01:01:10,449 --> 01:01:12,648 (LOUDLY) Have you heard the new Kanye? 1629 01:01:12,650 --> 01:01:15,552 He's not just about big butts! He's a really good singer. 1630 01:01:15,554 --> 01:01:16,719 (FARVA CHEWING LOUDLY) 1631 01:01:16,721 --> 01:01:20,324 This is great. It's like being on the road again. 1632 01:01:20,326 --> 01:01:22,858 I like to chew mint gum when I'm on the road. 1633 01:01:22,860 --> 01:01:24,226 When I'm radio, it's fruit. 1634 01:01:24,228 --> 01:01:27,498 You know, like Juicy Fruit, Bubblicious, Hubba Bubba. 1635 01:01:27,500 --> 01:01:29,065 Anything fruity. 1636 01:01:29,067 --> 01:01:30,333 On the road, I like mint, though. 1637 01:01:30,335 --> 01:01:32,835 Mint, mint, mint, mint, mint. 1638 01:01:32,837 --> 01:01:34,536 And Beech-Nut, have you tried that? 1639 01:01:34,538 --> 01:01:36,273 They should call it "Beech-Not!" (CHUCKLES) 1640 01:01:36,275 --> 01:01:38,907 Oh, shit, I'm gonna write that down. 1641 01:01:38,909 --> 01:01:40,809 What kind of gum do you chew? 1642 01:01:40,811 --> 01:01:42,281 They should make a black mint gum. 1643 01:01:42,947 --> 01:01:44,114 That would be choice. 1644 01:01:44,116 --> 01:01:46,315 They could call it "Minty Black". 1645 01:01:46,317 --> 01:01:47,884 Yeah, I'm gonna write that down too. 1646 01:01:47,886 --> 01:01:49,753 - No one would buy that. - What? 1647 01:01:49,755 --> 01:01:51,223 No one would buy that stupid gum. 1648 01:01:53,991 --> 01:01:55,058 (UNZIPS) 1649 01:01:55,060 --> 01:01:56,159 - Bullshit. - (URINATING) 1650 01:01:56,161 --> 01:01:58,962 They'd buy it if it was on Friends. 1651 01:01:58,964 --> 01:02:00,197 Like if Ross or Rachel chewed it, 1652 01:02:00,199 --> 01:02:01,598 it'd sell like hotcakes. 1653 01:02:01,600 --> 01:02:02,933 Are you a mutant? 1654 01:02:02,935 --> 01:02:04,867 You follow me out here while I'm pissing just to tell me this shit? 1655 01:02:04,869 --> 01:02:06,235 Quit looking at my dick. 1656 01:02:06,237 --> 01:02:07,469 I'm not looking at your dick. We're taking a piss. 1657 01:02:07,471 --> 01:02:09,139 - So, piss. - I don't have to go. 1658 01:02:09,141 --> 01:02:11,641 (ENGINE ROARING) 1659 01:02:11,643 --> 01:02:13,844 I'll fuck that Canadian right in his back bacon! 1660 01:02:13,846 --> 01:02:14,847 Rod! Rod! 1661 01:02:16,014 --> 01:02:18,382 (GRUNTING) 1662 01:02:18,384 --> 01:02:20,384 - (CHUCKLES) Yeah! - Farva! 1663 01:02:20,386 --> 01:02:22,487 - (SIREN WAILING) - Farva! 1664 01:02:23,587 --> 01:02:24,788 Farva! 1665 01:02:24,790 --> 01:02:26,292 (TIRES SCREECH) 1666 01:02:28,960 --> 01:02:30,428 Dumb fuck. 1667 01:02:30,895 --> 01:02:32,697 (ALARM BEEPING) 1668 01:02:35,400 --> 01:02:36,635 - Unbelievable. - (BEEPING STOPS) 1669 01:02:37,603 --> 01:02:39,703 Who pops an airbag? 1670 01:02:39,705 --> 01:02:41,507 God. You weigh a ton. 1671 01:02:44,877 --> 01:02:47,179 You gotta be shitting me. Don't die on me, Farva. 1672 01:02:49,081 --> 01:02:50,416 Okay. You can do it. 1673 01:03:00,793 --> 01:03:02,294 (MAC GAGS) 1674 01:03:06,531 --> 01:03:07,565 Oh! Fuck! 1675 01:03:08,032 --> 01:03:09,132 From upside down, 1676 01:03:09,134 --> 01:03:11,201 your mustache looks like a big hairy smile. 1677 01:03:11,203 --> 01:03:12,436 Why would you give me the Shocker? 1678 01:03:12,438 --> 01:03:15,304 My way of saying, "Thanks, honey. You saved my life." 1679 01:03:15,306 --> 01:03:17,306 I was dead. I went to Heaven. 1680 01:03:17,308 --> 01:03:18,574 And you were there. 1681 01:03:18,576 --> 01:03:20,944 - You know what you were doing? - What? 1682 01:03:20,946 --> 01:03:24,148 Trying to make out with me, sweetheart! I'm on to you. 1683 01:03:24,150 --> 01:03:26,717 (CHUCKLES) Come here. Give me some more of that. 1684 01:03:26,719 --> 01:03:27,817 (MAKES KISSING NOISES) 1685 01:03:27,819 --> 01:03:28,888 What the hell is that? 1686 01:03:30,723 --> 01:03:32,224 (FARVA GROANS) 1687 01:03:35,793 --> 01:03:37,629 Well, hello, Laverne! 1688 01:03:38,397 --> 01:03:39,829 Looks like the same stuff. 1689 01:03:39,831 --> 01:03:41,766 Yeah, but a shit-ton more of it. 1690 01:03:43,802 --> 01:03:45,567 Holy Hindu holidays. 1691 01:03:45,569 --> 01:03:47,238 There's a new guest at the party. 1692 01:03:48,206 --> 01:03:50,176 AK-47s. 1693 01:03:54,612 --> 01:03:55,545 RABBIT: Hey. 1694 01:03:55,547 --> 01:03:57,279 Oh, no, I don't want to hear it, Rabbit. 1695 01:03:57,281 --> 01:03:59,081 Genevieve, could I just explain? 1696 01:03:59,083 --> 01:04:00,817 There is nothing to explain. 1697 01:04:00,819 --> 01:04:02,585 They put bears in our station. 1698 01:04:02,587 --> 01:04:03,820 This is Canada! 1699 01:04:03,822 --> 01:04:05,420 There are bears everywhere. 1700 01:04:05,422 --> 01:04:06,822 There are bears that go through 1701 01:04:06,824 --> 01:04:07,824 my garbage every night. 1702 01:04:07,826 --> 01:04:10,559 I have cereal with bears in it: Bearios. 1703 01:04:10,561 --> 01:04:12,628 Canada's most popular breakfast. 1704 01:04:12,630 --> 01:04:14,130 LALOUSH: Someone say "Bearios"? 1705 01:04:14,132 --> 01:04:17,300 (IN FRENCH ACCENT) Hey there, Genny. Wanna grab some eats? 1706 01:04:17,302 --> 01:04:18,668 No, thanks. 1707 01:04:18,670 --> 01:04:22,070 Turn that into a maybe and I'll have your baby. 1708 01:04:22,072 --> 01:04:23,275 (CHUCKLES) 1709 01:04:24,076 --> 01:04:25,641 Lonnie Laloush? 1710 01:04:25,643 --> 01:04:28,478 That's mon nom. Don't wear it out, eh? 1711 01:04:28,480 --> 01:04:31,114 You want a hot coffee? I'm pouring. 1712 01:04:31,116 --> 01:04:33,183 Oui, s'il te plait. 1713 01:04:33,185 --> 01:04:34,851 Seems like a real "dickwa-duh", huh? 1714 01:04:34,853 --> 01:04:38,221 I told everyone how wonderful you all are. 1715 01:04:38,223 --> 01:04:41,456 Well, you're not. You have bad hearts. 1716 01:04:41,458 --> 01:04:42,828 Who wants crème fraiche? 1717 01:04:43,828 --> 01:04:44,962 Nobody? 1718 01:04:44,964 --> 01:04:46,295 (CHEWING LOUDLY) 1719 01:04:46,297 --> 01:04:48,399 Okay, no crème fraiche! 1720 01:04:49,400 --> 01:04:51,233 - Please just go. - Genevieve... 1721 01:04:51,235 --> 01:04:52,770 Just go. 1722 01:04:58,210 --> 01:04:59,778 (GUNS FIRING) 1723 01:05:02,181 --> 01:05:05,449 They're actually AK-48s. Illegal in the U.S. 1724 01:05:05,451 --> 01:05:06,581 THORNY: Why 48? 1725 01:05:06,583 --> 01:05:09,819 Because they hold one extra bullet. 1726 01:05:09,821 --> 01:05:10,686 Yeah, sure. You never know 1727 01:05:10,688 --> 01:05:12,221 when you're gonna need just one more. 1728 01:05:12,223 --> 01:05:13,590 This one says "Tiger Penis". 1729 01:05:13,592 --> 01:05:14,724 Suck it! 1730 01:05:14,726 --> 01:05:15,558 Shut up, Farva. 1731 01:05:15,560 --> 01:05:17,393 The Chinese use it to get hard-ons. 1732 01:05:17,395 --> 01:05:18,762 I tried to get it once. 1733 01:05:18,764 --> 01:05:20,332 - You can't buy it in the United States. - (SCOFFS) 1734 01:05:22,299 --> 01:05:24,067 Dude, what's up with your mustache? 1735 01:05:24,069 --> 01:05:25,271 Nothing. 1736 01:05:27,371 --> 01:05:29,105 - Are you wearing a mustache wig? - No! 1737 01:05:29,107 --> 01:05:31,407 It's a postiche, okay? I'm having a little hair loss. 1738 01:05:31,409 --> 01:05:32,476 Don't worry about it. 1739 01:05:32,478 --> 01:05:34,710 Worry about your own goddamn mustache. 1740 01:05:34,712 --> 01:05:35,878 Fuckin' asshole. 1741 01:05:35,880 --> 01:05:37,947 Hey, Mac tell you guys about our little moment? 1742 01:05:37,949 --> 01:05:39,715 Did you, Mac and Cheese? 1743 01:05:39,717 --> 01:05:42,085 You told us, Farva. I don't want to hear it again. 1744 01:05:42,087 --> 01:05:43,485 I'm the Cheese. 1745 01:05:43,487 --> 01:05:44,587 THORNY: All right, look, guys. 1746 01:05:44,589 --> 01:05:46,054 I know we're in some serious shit here, 1747 01:05:46,056 --> 01:05:47,290 but if we can crack this case, 1748 01:05:47,292 --> 01:05:48,525 we might just be able to get 1749 01:05:48,527 --> 01:05:49,893 beyond this whole Mountie thing. 1750 01:05:49,895 --> 01:05:51,226 We didn't do anything. 1751 01:05:51,228 --> 01:05:52,429 Foster, we kidnapped and impersonated 1752 01:05:52,431 --> 01:05:53,866 officers of a sovereign nation. 1753 01:05:54,299 --> 01:05:55,565 Right. 1754 01:05:55,567 --> 01:05:58,567 Cuban cigars, Canadian pills, counterfeit cell phones, 1755 01:05:58,569 --> 01:06:00,235 AK-48s and Tiger Penis. 1756 01:06:00,237 --> 01:06:01,971 What's the link? 1757 01:06:01,973 --> 01:06:04,773 All this stuff is more valuable in the U.S. 1758 01:06:04,775 --> 01:06:05,708 than in Canada. 1759 01:06:05,710 --> 01:06:07,110 So, it's a smuggling operation. 1760 01:06:07,112 --> 01:06:09,011 Someone's trying to move this shit over the border. 1761 01:06:09,013 --> 01:06:10,049 No, they're not. 1762 01:06:11,016 --> 01:06:12,148 Think about it. 1763 01:06:12,150 --> 01:06:13,782 This stuff is just sitting on Canadian land. Yeah. Okay. 1764 01:06:13,784 --> 01:06:16,085 But what happens when this Canadian land 1765 01:06:16,087 --> 01:06:17,654 becomes American land? 1766 01:06:17,656 --> 01:06:21,324 No need to move it at all. It's already on U.S. soil. 1767 01:06:21,326 --> 01:06:22,724 Exactly, huh? 1768 01:06:22,726 --> 01:06:25,529 Passive smuggling. (CHUCKLES) It's my kind of crime. 1769 01:06:25,531 --> 01:06:28,163 So, they must have this shit stashed all along the border. 1770 01:06:28,165 --> 01:06:29,800 Yeah. But who is "they"? 1771 01:06:29,802 --> 01:06:31,333 Who "are" they. 1772 01:06:31,335 --> 01:06:32,434 FOSTER: Hey, look, I said this earlier 1773 01:06:32,436 --> 01:06:33,835 and you guys laughed at me. 1774 01:06:33,837 --> 01:06:37,040 But I think it's the Mounties. They are shit people. Okay? 1775 01:06:37,042 --> 01:06:39,007 And they smoke Cubans cigars. We've seen that. 1776 01:06:39,009 --> 01:06:41,043 They're getting transferred to God knows where. 1777 01:06:41,045 --> 01:06:42,244 I mean, what do they have to lose? 1778 01:06:42,246 --> 01:06:45,614 I am starting to agree with Sherlock McSerpico over here. 1779 01:06:45,616 --> 01:06:47,049 - (CLAP ECHOES) - Ooh! 1780 01:06:47,051 --> 01:06:48,751 I'm telling you, fellas. 1781 01:06:48,753 --> 01:06:50,619 In my experience, it's always the local cops. 1782 01:06:50,621 --> 01:06:52,621 What would you guys give me if I kill that bird? 1783 01:06:52,623 --> 01:06:54,257 Farva, that's a Bald Eagle! 1784 01:06:54,259 --> 01:06:55,391 Get a wig, baldy! 1785 01:06:55,393 --> 01:06:58,393 (GUN FIRING) 1786 01:06:58,395 --> 01:07:00,130 - Yeah! - (EAGLE CAWING) 1787 01:07:00,132 --> 01:07:01,530 Put the goddamn gun down. 1788 01:07:01,532 --> 01:07:03,632 - What? - (EAGLE SCREECHES, WHIMPERS) 1789 01:07:03,634 --> 01:07:06,235 Oh, booyah! Guys, what do I win? 1790 01:07:06,237 --> 01:07:08,204 A one-way ticket to hell. 1791 01:07:08,206 --> 01:07:10,376 (MUSIC PLAYING) 1792 01:07:12,444 --> 01:07:13,509 (BLOWS RASPBERRY) 1793 01:07:13,511 --> 01:07:15,578 This place wishes it was Shenanigans. 1794 01:07:15,580 --> 01:07:17,014 Welcome to Chicanery's, eh! 1795 01:07:17,616 --> 01:07:18,748 Can I get you a booth? 1796 01:07:18,750 --> 01:07:21,183 Uh, no. We're meeting somebody here. 1797 01:07:21,185 --> 01:07:22,351 Oh, yeah, there he is. 1798 01:07:22,353 --> 01:07:24,786 ♪ I'll pay the rent ♪ 1799 01:07:24,788 --> 01:07:27,858 - Cap! - ♪ God knows I've done you wrong ♪ 1800 01:07:27,860 --> 01:07:29,724 MAC: Chief, we've been looking all over for you. 1801 01:07:29,726 --> 01:07:31,360 Cap, Cap, Cap, I think we've figured it out! 1802 01:07:31,362 --> 01:07:33,395 - ♪ Do you re... ♪ - Chief. I think we cracked the thing. 1803 01:07:33,397 --> 01:07:35,232 What are you doing? What are you doing? 1804 01:07:35,234 --> 01:07:36,364 I've been waiting here for an hour. 1805 01:07:36,366 --> 01:07:37,701 I think you're gonna want to know this. 1806 01:07:37,703 --> 01:07:39,503 - This is my song. - I know, but listen, I think we... 1807 01:07:39,505 --> 01:07:41,337 - I'm singing here. Sit the fuck down. - No, no, no. 1808 01:07:41,339 --> 01:07:42,505 I'm singing here. 1809 01:07:42,507 --> 01:07:44,409 I'm singing here. Sit the fuck down! 1810 01:07:47,212 --> 01:07:52,715 ♪ Bill Bailey, won't you please come home ♪ 1811 01:07:52,717 --> 01:07:54,284 What can I get for you guys? 1812 01:07:54,286 --> 01:07:56,886 Maybe a cold beer? Liter of cola? 1813 01:07:56,888 --> 01:07:58,087 What did you say? 1814 01:07:58,089 --> 01:07:59,221 Do you want a liter of cola? 1815 01:07:59,223 --> 01:08:00,590 You have that here? 1816 01:08:00,592 --> 01:08:02,025 Yeah, we got the Decaliter Delight. 1817 01:08:02,027 --> 01:08:04,326 You get a punch card, you rack up ten liters of cola, 1818 01:08:04,328 --> 01:08:05,494 get yourself a free dessert. 1819 01:08:05,496 --> 01:08:07,199 Bring them all. Bring them all right now. 1820 01:08:08,465 --> 01:08:10,166 Bring all ten liters and the punch card. 1821 01:08:10,168 --> 01:08:11,203 I want it all right now. 1822 01:08:13,337 --> 01:08:14,404 Come on. 1823 01:08:14,406 --> 01:08:15,938 Canada's pretty awesome. 1824 01:08:15,940 --> 01:08:18,140 - Boop boop. - Uh, don't do that. 1825 01:08:18,142 --> 01:08:20,879 - Boop beep boo boop beep. - (STUTTERS) Cut the crap. 1826 01:08:27,451 --> 01:08:29,551 - Genevieve? - (SIGHS) 1827 01:08:29,553 --> 01:08:32,956 I feel terrible about what I said to you. 1828 01:08:32,958 --> 01:08:34,991 I know I overreacted. 1829 01:08:34,993 --> 01:08:38,461 It's just the town is so upset about the turnover. 1830 01:08:38,463 --> 01:08:39,528 Sure. 1831 01:08:39,530 --> 01:08:41,630 Anyway, you are not a bad person. 1832 01:08:41,632 --> 01:08:43,433 Even if you are American. 1833 01:08:43,435 --> 01:08:44,801 (LAUGHS) 1834 01:08:44,803 --> 01:08:46,536 Well, I've actually been working on that for you. 1835 01:08:46,538 --> 01:08:47,670 - For me? - Yeah. 1836 01:08:47,672 --> 01:08:50,306 Moosehead. Canadian beer. 1837 01:08:50,308 --> 01:08:52,375 Beaver chili. Très Canadien. 1838 01:08:52,377 --> 01:08:53,542 (LAUGHS) 1839 01:08:53,544 --> 01:08:55,747 And I've been working on my French too. 1840 01:08:56,647 --> 01:08:58,415 - (ROMANTIC SONG PLAYING) - (GASPS) 1841 01:08:58,417 --> 01:09:01,083 Oh, I love this song! 1842 01:09:01,085 --> 01:09:05,220 Oh, it reminds me of summers on Etang de la Soupe Aux Pois. 1843 01:09:05,222 --> 01:09:07,124 (SINGING ALONG IN FRENCH) 1844 01:09:19,504 --> 01:09:22,305 Wow! That's very good. 1845 01:09:22,307 --> 01:09:24,506 Oh, I wouldn't say that, but, 1846 01:09:24,508 --> 01:09:25,774 I don't even know what it means. 1847 01:09:25,776 --> 01:09:29,514 It's a sad song about the Nazi Occupation of France. 1848 01:09:30,848 --> 01:09:32,180 Oh. 1849 01:09:32,182 --> 01:09:33,416 I'm sorry. I... 1850 01:09:33,418 --> 01:09:34,649 No. No, no. 1851 01:09:34,651 --> 01:09:36,286 It's about two lovers 1852 01:09:36,288 --> 01:09:39,622 trapped in a war that neither wanted, 1853 01:09:39,624 --> 01:09:42,661 but they love each other anyway. 1854 01:09:43,227 --> 01:09:44,394 Oh. 1855 01:09:44,396 --> 01:09:46,732 So much better. (CHUCKLES) 1856 01:09:49,200 --> 01:09:50,903 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1857 01:09:59,576 --> 01:10:01,178 - Is this really happening? - Oh, yes. 1858 01:10:03,013 --> 01:10:04,246 I love it. 1859 01:10:04,248 --> 01:10:05,715 (GENEVIEVE MOANING) 1860 01:10:05,717 --> 01:10:06,849 Wait, wait, wait. 1861 01:10:06,851 --> 01:10:08,951 - Where is the fat one's desk? - Right there. 1862 01:10:08,953 --> 01:10:10,118 Okay. 1863 01:10:10,120 --> 01:10:11,453 You don't know his name? 1864 01:10:11,455 --> 01:10:12,889 Flarvla. 1865 01:10:12,891 --> 01:10:14,826 (CHUCKLES) I smell a new nickname. 1866 01:10:15,526 --> 01:10:17,094 Guess we hurry. 1867 01:10:23,801 --> 01:10:25,900 Passive smuggling? It's brilliant. 1868 01:10:25,902 --> 01:10:27,202 And it's gotta be the Mounties. 1869 01:10:27,204 --> 01:10:28,104 - Why? - (SLURPING) 1870 01:10:28,106 --> 01:10:30,105 'Cause it's always the local cops. 1871 01:10:30,107 --> 01:10:31,172 Here's your punch card. 1872 01:10:31,174 --> 01:10:33,408 (PUNCHING) 1873 01:10:33,410 --> 01:10:35,644 Five, six, seven, eight. 1874 01:10:35,646 --> 01:10:37,980 Number nine. This is ten. 1875 01:10:37,982 --> 01:10:40,616 Technically, you have to drink all ten to get the dessert. 1876 01:10:40,618 --> 01:10:41,684 Oh, you challenging me? 1877 01:10:41,686 --> 01:10:43,051 This will be gone in three seconds. 1878 01:10:43,053 --> 01:10:45,055 I'll have the butter tart yule log. 1879 01:10:45,057 --> 01:10:46,890 Come on. Chop-chop! 1880 01:10:46,892 --> 01:10:48,794 MAC: Just do it, dude. 1881 01:10:51,161 --> 01:10:52,729 Canada! 1882 01:10:52,731 --> 01:10:54,029 And the beauty is, 1883 01:10:54,031 --> 01:10:55,698 there's nothing they can do with all that contraband, 1884 01:10:55,700 --> 01:10:57,533 until this land becomes America. 1885 01:10:57,535 --> 01:10:59,868 So all we have to do is push back the turnover, 1886 01:10:59,870 --> 01:11:01,703 until we can find the rest of the stuff. 1887 01:11:01,705 --> 01:11:02,971 O'HAGAN: Well, you heard LeFranc. 1888 01:11:02,973 --> 01:11:04,940 Who knows what's gonna happen with the turnover? 1889 01:11:04,942 --> 01:11:08,109 Whatever happens, we gotta solve this case. Now. 1890 01:11:08,111 --> 01:11:10,079 Let's take another look at that contraband. 1891 01:11:10,081 --> 01:11:12,547 - We may have missed something. - (SLURPING) 1892 01:11:12,549 --> 01:11:15,217 Hold on! I didn't get my free dessert. 1893 01:11:15,219 --> 01:11:16,284 Move it, Farva! 1894 01:11:16,286 --> 01:11:18,354 Come on! It's a fucki'' butter tart yule log! 1895 01:11:18,356 --> 01:11:20,523 O'HAGAN: Let's go! Now! 1896 01:11:20,525 --> 01:11:21,759 Damn it. 1897 01:11:24,161 --> 01:11:25,894 Oh! Whoa! Watch it, pal. 1898 01:11:25,896 --> 01:11:28,032 Walk faster, finger blaster. 1899 01:11:32,303 --> 01:11:34,005 (BOTH EXHALE) 1900 01:11:38,743 --> 01:11:40,743 Son of a... Rabbit! 1901 01:11:40,745 --> 01:11:41,844 MAC: Whoa! 1902 01:11:41,846 --> 01:11:43,845 Whoa! The booty's gone! 1903 01:11:43,847 --> 01:11:45,249 Did they take the Flova Scotia? 1904 01:11:46,383 --> 01:11:48,752 In addition to Rabbit! 1905 01:11:48,754 --> 01:11:50,952 Hold your bones. Rabbit's car. 1906 01:11:50,954 --> 01:11:52,954 The dash cam! Look at this. 1907 01:11:52,956 --> 01:11:54,591 Ooh, you clever little prick, you. 1908 01:11:54,593 --> 01:11:56,091 Prick? I'm tired of these putdowns! 1909 01:11:56,093 --> 01:11:57,659 It's a compliment, shithead. 1910 01:11:57,661 --> 01:12:00,031 Fuck you, midget Burt Reynolds. 1911 01:12:01,833 --> 01:12:03,869 - Mm. - Mm-mm. 1912 01:12:05,035 --> 01:12:07,269 MAC: (CHUCKLES) Oh, a little ménage à two. 1913 01:12:07,271 --> 01:12:08,907 FARVA AND MAC: Mm. 1914 01:12:09,773 --> 01:12:11,474 - MAC: Ah. - THORNY: Yeah, partner. 1915 01:12:11,476 --> 01:12:13,309 - (CHUCKLES) - (HOWLS) 1916 01:12:13,311 --> 01:12:15,545 Can you believe she picked Donnie Osmond over me? 1917 01:12:15,547 --> 01:12:17,712 - MAC: Yes. - I mean, is anyone else shocked here? 1918 01:12:17,714 --> 01:12:19,081 - No. - And on my desk? 1919 01:12:19,083 --> 01:12:21,516 O'HAGAN: Shut up, Farva. This is serious. 1920 01:12:21,518 --> 01:12:23,485 - ALL: Whoa! - What the fuck? 1921 01:12:23,487 --> 01:12:24,988 THORNY: Now how are we gonna find them? 1922 01:12:24,990 --> 01:12:27,590 All those iPhones had the same number. 1923 01:12:27,592 --> 01:12:29,591 Now, if we only had a triangulator, 1924 01:12:29,593 --> 01:12:30,828 we could locate them. 1925 01:12:31,962 --> 01:12:34,863 Aha! Take that, you bastards. 1926 01:12:34,865 --> 01:12:36,698 MAC: Those are the phones right there. 1927 01:12:36,700 --> 01:12:37,935 Enhance. 1928 01:12:38,937 --> 01:12:40,536 All right, but what is this place? 1929 01:12:40,538 --> 01:12:41,740 Enhance. 1930 01:12:43,374 --> 01:12:45,541 - Enhance. - Okay, okay. 1931 01:12:45,543 --> 01:12:47,377 FOSTER: "Sciere de la Vache." 1932 01:12:47,379 --> 01:12:49,511 All right, you guys speak French, what does that mean? 1933 01:12:49,513 --> 01:12:53,049 (SMACKS LIPS) I don't know what sciere means 1934 01:12:53,051 --> 01:12:55,085 and I also don't know what vache means. 1935 01:12:55,087 --> 01:12:57,485 THORNY: So you really don't understand anything? 1936 01:12:57,487 --> 01:12:58,822 Sciere de la Vache? 1937 01:12:58,824 --> 01:13:01,323 I believe it's "The Scary Vase". 1938 01:13:01,325 --> 01:13:03,859 MAC: Yeah, yeah. Let's see, sciere is "beetle". 1939 01:13:03,861 --> 01:13:05,927 - Beetle vase. No. Yes. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1940 01:13:05,929 --> 01:13:09,198 But la vache is "angry". "Angry Beetle." 1941 01:13:09,200 --> 01:13:11,033 - Okay. - Yeah. Angry Beetle, we think. 1942 01:13:11,035 --> 01:13:14,170 It's "The Sawmill of the Cow", you idiots! 1943 01:13:14,172 --> 01:13:15,604 It's a sawmill! 1944 01:13:15,606 --> 01:13:18,640 - Why "Sawmill of the Cow"? No. - It doesn't make any sense. 1945 01:13:18,642 --> 01:13:20,743 Let's go and give those Canuckleheads 1946 01:13:20,745 --> 01:13:23,113 a good old-fashioned red-white-and-blue, 1947 01:13:23,115 --> 01:13:24,212 fist-fucking! 1948 01:13:24,214 --> 01:13:25,417 - (ALL CHEERING) - Yeah! Let's do it! 1949 01:13:27,585 --> 01:13:28,887 FARVA: Shotgun! Shotgun! Shotgun! 1950 01:13:29,187 --> 01:13:30,188 Whoa! 1951 01:13:30,521 --> 01:13:31,720 Shit. 1952 01:13:31,722 --> 01:13:34,323 (SIRENS WAILING) 1953 01:13:34,325 --> 01:13:38,193 ♪ You know you're always paying for the shit that's free ♪ 1954 01:13:38,195 --> 01:13:40,796 Hey, pull over. I gotta take a pee-ahs. 1955 01:13:40,798 --> 01:13:42,234 Shouldn't have drank all that soda. 1956 01:13:44,803 --> 01:13:46,034 You know, it just now occurred to me, 1957 01:13:46,036 --> 01:13:47,670 you and I have never been alone together before. 1958 01:13:47,672 --> 01:13:50,105 - Yeah, thank God. - (SCOFFS) 1959 01:13:50,107 --> 01:13:52,875 Seriously. Have we ever had a one-on-one conversation? 1960 01:13:52,877 --> 01:13:55,080 Why would we? You seem like a pretty boring dude. 1961 01:13:56,681 --> 01:13:58,948 You still banging that blonde cop, or... 1962 01:13:58,950 --> 01:14:02,351 ♪ You say you want to finish, but you never start ♪ 1963 01:14:02,353 --> 01:14:05,119 ♪ You want to get it finished but you just try hard ♪ 1964 01:14:05,121 --> 01:14:06,324 Where the hell are they going? 1965 01:14:07,991 --> 01:14:09,158 (MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING ON RADIO) 1966 01:14:09,160 --> 01:14:11,293 That was the turn, back there. 1967 01:14:11,295 --> 01:14:13,328 Are you sure? I don't think so. 1968 01:14:13,330 --> 01:14:15,430 Have you completely lost your sense of direction? 1969 01:14:15,432 --> 01:14:18,000 Well, your yelling at me certainly doesn't help! 1970 01:14:18,002 --> 01:14:19,467 Cap's right, Thorn. That was the turn. 1971 01:14:19,469 --> 01:14:22,070 Shut up, Mr. Perfect. 1972 01:14:22,072 --> 01:14:24,342 - MAC AND O'HAGAN: Whoa! - (TIRES SCREECHING) 1973 01:14:25,642 --> 01:14:29,011 ♪ To broke to pay attention, better get you some ♪ 1974 01:14:29,013 --> 01:14:32,480 ♪ When trouble's up, I double up on bubble gum ♪ 1975 01:14:32,482 --> 01:14:33,851 (MUSIC TURNS OFF) 1976 01:14:34,419 --> 01:14:35,487 (SIGHS) 1977 01:14:36,920 --> 01:14:38,490 - (SWITCH CLICKS) - (ROCK MUSIC RESUMES) 1978 01:14:41,225 --> 01:14:42,725 I saw that! 1979 01:14:42,727 --> 01:14:44,092 Where are those female sex pills? 1980 01:14:44,094 --> 01:14:45,027 Cap! 1981 01:14:45,029 --> 01:14:46,431 Give them me! Give them me! 1982 01:14:52,969 --> 01:14:54,172 - Thank you. - (SIGHS) 1983 01:15:09,187 --> 01:15:11,052 FOSTER: (WHISPERING) No sign of Rabbit. 1984 01:15:11,054 --> 01:15:13,655 But I got two Mountie cars... 1985 01:15:13,657 --> 01:15:16,558 and our contraband. 1986 01:15:16,560 --> 01:15:17,629 Where the hell's Farva? 1987 01:15:19,829 --> 01:15:21,565 Ah. I got him. 1988 01:15:22,566 --> 01:15:24,132 (FARVA SNEEZES AND FARTS) 1989 01:15:24,134 --> 01:15:27,202 FOSTER: He's like a walking hydrothermal explosion. 1990 01:15:27,204 --> 01:15:29,541 You want to see some fartography? 1991 01:15:31,674 --> 01:15:32,808 I'm still gonna go back 1992 01:15:32,810 --> 01:15:34,346 and get that butter tart yule log. 1993 01:15:35,279 --> 01:15:38,215 All right, boys. Let's milk this cow. 1994 01:15:44,321 --> 01:15:45,822 (KEYS JANGLING) 1995 01:15:45,824 --> 01:15:47,055 PODEIN: I moved this stuff the last time. 1996 01:15:47,057 --> 01:15:48,823 BELLEFUILLE: I don't want to lift it either. 1997 01:15:48,825 --> 01:15:50,059 PODEIN: You don't move anything. 1998 01:15:50,061 --> 01:15:52,330 You don't move your body, you don't move boxes. 1999 01:15:54,031 --> 01:15:55,566 (WHISPERING) One, two, three, go! 2000 01:16:00,105 --> 01:16:01,369 Alright freeze! You're under arrest! 2001 01:16:01,371 --> 01:16:03,739 Bullshit, eh! You're under arrest! 2002 01:16:03,741 --> 01:16:05,140 Bullshit, you fucking smugglers! 2003 01:16:05,142 --> 01:16:07,042 We're not the smugglers! You're the fucking smugglers. 2004 01:16:07,044 --> 01:16:08,109 We're not the fucking smugglers! 2005 01:16:08,111 --> 01:16:09,177 You're the fucking smugglers! 2006 01:16:09,179 --> 01:16:10,679 O'HAGAN: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 2007 01:16:10,681 --> 01:16:12,613 Everyone, lower your weapons! 2008 01:16:12,615 --> 01:16:13,582 Something's not right. 2009 01:16:13,584 --> 01:16:16,851 Wait, wait, wait. The old-timey one is right. 2010 01:16:16,853 --> 01:16:18,690 Something doesn't add up here. 2011 01:16:19,690 --> 01:16:21,155 - (GROWLS) - (GRUNTS) 2012 01:16:21,157 --> 01:16:23,326 - THORNY: Oh, shit! - Die, you fucking smuggler! 2013 01:16:23,328 --> 01:16:24,726 O'HAGAN: Farva, you idiot! 2014 01:16:24,728 --> 01:16:25,961 (CLAMORING) 2015 01:16:25,963 --> 01:16:27,997 Put the gun down! Put the gun down! 2016 01:16:27,999 --> 01:16:29,532 Fuck you. Fuck you. 2017 01:16:29,534 --> 01:16:30,399 Put down the fuckin' gun! 2018 01:16:30,401 --> 01:16:32,702 Drop the gun, I don't want to shoot! 2019 01:16:32,704 --> 01:16:34,269 You fuckin' Canadians! 2020 01:16:34,271 --> 01:16:35,337 Cool. 2021 01:16:35,339 --> 01:16:36,706 (BOTH WHIMPER) 2022 01:16:36,708 --> 01:16:38,176 What the fuck are you guys doing? 2023 01:16:38,808 --> 01:16:40,244 (LIGHTS SWITCH ON) 2024 01:16:41,713 --> 01:16:44,046 GUY: ♪ Blinded by the light ♪ 2025 01:16:44,048 --> 01:16:45,680 Apropos, right? 2026 01:16:45,682 --> 01:16:47,282 Go on, kill each other. 2027 01:16:47,284 --> 01:16:50,018 What ever happened to "Shoot first and ask questions later"? 2028 01:16:50,020 --> 01:16:51,621 Uh, what the shit, Guy? 2029 01:16:51,623 --> 01:16:54,088 Why you tell us these guys are the smuggler, huh? 2030 01:16:54,090 --> 01:16:55,625 Well, it's a lot smarter than telling you 2031 01:16:55,627 --> 01:16:56,958 that I'm the smuggler. 2032 01:16:56,960 --> 01:16:59,127 What do you mean, you're the smuggler? 2033 01:16:59,129 --> 01:17:01,829 I'm sorry, but what else was I gonna do? 2034 01:17:01,831 --> 01:17:03,998 Being the mayor of a small Canadian town 2035 01:17:04,000 --> 01:17:05,333 sounds romantic and cool. 2036 01:17:05,335 --> 01:17:07,168 Being the mayor of a small American town 2037 01:17:07,170 --> 01:17:09,505 sounds like you're a loser. For reals. 2038 01:17:09,507 --> 01:17:12,308 - (BOTH LAUGHING) - You got to admit it's a good scam. 2039 01:17:12,310 --> 01:17:13,842 All along the borderline. 2040 01:17:13,844 --> 01:17:15,144 But I never would've thought that 2041 01:17:15,146 --> 01:17:17,246 the guys from the Fred Savage incident, 2042 01:17:17,248 --> 01:17:19,181 would be the ones to trip me up. 2043 01:17:19,183 --> 01:17:21,216 These are the cops that killed Fred Savage? 2044 01:17:21,218 --> 01:17:22,417 Sadly. 2045 01:17:22,419 --> 01:17:27,055 But I will say, this little rivalry between police forces, 2046 01:17:27,057 --> 01:17:29,158 is the perfect opportunity to take you both out. 2047 01:17:29,160 --> 01:17:30,725 Well, now we're taking you in. 2048 01:17:30,727 --> 01:17:32,127 (CHUCKLES) I'm sorry. 2049 01:17:32,129 --> 01:17:34,262 But that's not the way it's going to go. 2050 01:17:34,264 --> 01:17:36,301 Henri, if you would be so kind. 2051 01:17:38,002 --> 01:17:39,702 - THORNY: No! - MAC: Oh, Jesus. 2052 01:17:39,704 --> 01:17:42,503 - FARVA: Holy shit! - And do pay attention to that man behind the curtain. 2053 01:17:42,505 --> 01:17:44,209 (MUFFLED WHIMPERING) 2054 01:17:47,478 --> 01:17:48,778 Your Rabbit wasn't quick enough. 2055 01:17:48,780 --> 01:17:51,180 Maybe next time, he'll hop a little faster, eh? 2056 01:17:51,182 --> 01:17:52,348 If anything happens to him, 2057 01:17:52,350 --> 01:17:54,382 I'm gonna fuck you six ways to Sunday! 2058 01:17:54,384 --> 01:17:58,086 Jeez Louise. Now I know who gobbled all my Flova Scotia. 2059 01:17:58,088 --> 01:17:59,488 (BOTH CHUCKLING) 2060 01:17:59,490 --> 01:18:01,823 So, drop your guns, 2061 01:18:01,825 --> 01:18:03,859 or the Rabbit and his girlfriend 2062 01:18:03,861 --> 01:18:07,796 will multiply in gruesome fashion. 2063 01:18:07,798 --> 01:18:08,799 I'm so sorry. 2064 01:18:10,133 --> 01:18:12,301 (MACHINE WHIRRING) 2065 01:18:12,303 --> 01:18:14,202 Let her go, Guy. She has nothing to do with this! 2066 01:18:14,204 --> 01:18:15,904 Well, if they put their guns down, 2067 01:18:15,906 --> 01:18:17,141 no harm will come to her. 2068 01:18:20,678 --> 01:18:21,679 Go on. Drop them. 2069 01:18:22,813 --> 01:18:24,648 (SOFTLY) Drop your guns. Drop it. 2070 01:18:28,419 --> 01:18:30,255 GUY: Now get those hands in the air. 2071 01:18:30,922 --> 01:18:32,123 Like you just don't care. 2072 01:18:34,592 --> 01:18:36,024 So, are you ready... 2073 01:18:36,026 --> 01:18:37,395 (STOMPS) 2074 01:18:39,864 --> 01:18:41,199 for the big twist? 2075 01:18:43,433 --> 01:18:44,632 (WHISTLES) 2076 01:18:44,634 --> 01:18:46,070 (SHUDDERING) 2077 01:18:49,840 --> 01:18:51,676 What the fuck? 2078 01:18:53,210 --> 01:18:55,346 What are you doing? What? 2079 01:18:56,213 --> 01:18:58,046 Shut the front door! 2080 01:18:58,048 --> 01:18:59,350 RABBIT: Genevieve. 2081 01:19:00,150 --> 01:19:01,516 What's going on here? 2082 01:19:01,518 --> 01:19:03,252 He'll kill me. Let me out of my chains. 2083 01:19:03,254 --> 01:19:05,653 What the fuck took you so long, Guy? 2084 01:19:05,655 --> 01:19:08,256 First I have to have his circumcised dick in me 2085 01:19:08,258 --> 01:19:10,058 and then you tie me to this log? 2086 01:19:10,060 --> 01:19:12,129 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 2087 01:19:13,865 --> 01:19:16,267 (SPEAKS FRENCH) 2088 01:19:19,771 --> 01:19:21,202 Are you fucking kidding me? 2089 01:19:21,204 --> 01:19:23,207 (BIDS GOOD-BYE IN FRENCH) 2090 01:19:23,973 --> 01:19:25,474 I hate you! 2091 01:19:25,476 --> 01:19:26,574 I hate you. 2092 01:19:26,576 --> 01:19:27,579 Shoot them. 2093 01:19:29,513 --> 01:19:30,645 Shoot them all. 2094 01:19:30,647 --> 01:19:31,815 With pleasure, boss. 2095 01:19:33,017 --> 01:19:34,183 FARVA: Hold on! 2096 01:19:34,185 --> 01:19:38,086 If I'm going down, I'm going down American! 2097 01:19:38,088 --> 01:19:42,358 ♪ Oh say can you sing ♪ 2098 01:19:42,360 --> 01:19:46,161 ♪ By the dawn's early fight ♪ 2099 01:19:46,163 --> 01:19:50,299 ♪ What so loudly we sail ♪ 2100 01:19:50,301 --> 01:19:54,202 ♪ At the nightlife on the street ♪ 2101 01:19:54,204 --> 01:19:58,140 ♪ And the red rocking chair ♪ 2102 01:19:58,142 --> 01:20:01,877 ♪ The bombs gasping for air ♪ 2103 01:20:01,879 --> 01:20:05,014 ♪ Gave proof in the life ♪ 2104 01:20:05,016 --> 01:20:06,518 All right, enough with that song. 2105 01:20:07,852 --> 01:20:08,917 Shoot them. 2106 01:20:08,919 --> 01:20:10,355 - (GUNSHOTS) - (GRUNTS) 2107 01:20:12,655 --> 01:20:14,391 (SCREAMING) 2108 01:20:17,061 --> 01:20:18,730 Hurry, it's about to slice my johnson! 2109 01:20:23,767 --> 01:20:24,832 This is not happening. 2110 01:20:24,834 --> 01:20:27,172 ♪ I got it right now, but I don't feel it ♪ 2111 01:20:29,173 --> 01:20:30,508 (WHIMPERING) 2112 01:20:31,909 --> 01:20:35,043 ♪ ♪ 2113 01:20:35,045 --> 01:20:36,313 (THORNY YELLING) 2114 01:20:38,581 --> 01:20:40,681 That was a hell of a thing to do. 2115 01:20:40,683 --> 01:20:43,185 I guess my maternal instinct is kicking in. 2116 01:20:43,187 --> 01:20:46,055 ♪ Go real fast, I think you got it right now ♪ 2117 01:20:46,057 --> 01:20:47,588 - (BULLETS FIRING) - La vache. 2118 01:20:47,590 --> 01:20:48,757 What? 2119 01:20:48,759 --> 01:20:49,793 Shoot the cow. 2120 01:20:50,727 --> 01:20:51,728 Ah! 2121 01:20:52,762 --> 01:20:58,402 ♪ ♪ 2122 01:20:59,468 --> 01:21:01,605 Damn it! I'm out of bullets! 2123 01:21:02,072 --> 01:21:03,338 I got one more! 2124 01:21:03,340 --> 01:21:04,542 Make it count! 2125 01:21:11,915 --> 01:21:13,250 Oh! 2126 01:21:13,651 --> 01:21:14,652 Ow. 2127 01:21:15,819 --> 01:21:17,351 (WHIMPERING) 2128 01:21:17,353 --> 01:21:19,454 - (GRUNTING) - (CHEERING) 2129 01:21:19,456 --> 01:21:20,889 Gotta love that 48th bullet. 2130 01:21:20,891 --> 01:21:22,791 (SPEAKS FRENCH) Drop it! Drop your weapon! 2131 01:21:22,793 --> 01:21:25,226 ARCHAMBAULT: Come on, get up from the dirt. 2132 01:21:25,228 --> 01:21:27,695 (SCREAMING) I'm about to get neutered! 2133 01:21:27,697 --> 01:21:28,796 Hang on! 2134 01:21:28,798 --> 01:21:30,532 Get this outta here! 2135 01:21:30,534 --> 01:21:32,704 (WHIMPERING) Get me off this! 2136 01:21:34,271 --> 01:21:35,604 I don't think so. 2137 01:21:35,606 --> 01:21:40,009 Okay. Now you've lit the fuse of the Halifax Explosion. 2138 01:21:40,011 --> 01:21:42,176 Yeah. In my day... 2139 01:21:42,178 --> 01:21:43,778 when your big boy teeth came in, 2140 01:21:43,780 --> 01:21:46,148 your hockey coach would pull them out... 2141 01:21:46,150 --> 01:21:47,416 so you wouldn't miss a shift. 2142 01:21:47,418 --> 01:21:49,484 Yeah? In my country, 2143 01:21:49,486 --> 01:21:51,586 we let the Tooth Fairy deal with that shit. 2144 01:21:51,588 --> 01:21:54,088 You would know all about fairies, wouldn't you? 2145 01:21:54,090 --> 01:21:55,290 Okay. Let's do this, moosefucker. 2146 01:21:55,292 --> 01:21:56,425 Yeah, you want to do it? 2147 01:21:56,427 --> 01:21:57,792 - You wanna go? - Yeah. Let's go. 2148 01:21:57,794 --> 01:22:00,662 - Yeah. You wanna go? You wanna go? - Yeah. I wanna go. 2149 01:22:00,664 --> 01:22:03,431 (GRUNTS) Ooh, clip-on. Little tacky, eh? 2150 01:22:03,433 --> 01:22:05,503 (BOTH GRUNTING) 2151 01:22:18,081 --> 01:22:19,314 Yeah! 2152 01:22:19,316 --> 01:22:20,849 That's one former hockey player 2153 01:22:20,851 --> 01:22:22,050 who can shut the puck up! 2154 01:22:22,052 --> 01:22:23,118 Right, guys? 2155 01:22:23,120 --> 01:22:24,485 (RABBIT WHIMPERING) 2156 01:22:24,487 --> 01:22:26,557 Shit, that was a good line. 2157 01:22:27,590 --> 01:22:29,591 - (RABBIT SCREAMING) - (BULLETS RICOCHETING) 2158 01:22:29,593 --> 01:22:31,393 O'HAGAN: Come on, damn it! 2159 01:22:31,395 --> 01:22:32,797 Oh, my God! 2160 01:22:34,464 --> 01:22:36,131 (PANICKED SHOUTING) 2161 01:22:36,133 --> 01:22:38,065 (ALL YELLING) 2162 01:22:38,067 --> 01:22:39,736 (RABBIT SCREAMING) 2163 01:22:42,472 --> 01:22:44,542 (ALL EXCLAIMING AND CHEERING) 2164 01:22:46,110 --> 01:22:47,708 MAC: That's great! That's great! 2165 01:22:47,710 --> 01:22:49,778 (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) What the hell is wrong with you guys? 2166 01:22:49,780 --> 01:22:51,947 It's like none of you Yanks ever operated 2167 01:22:51,949 --> 01:22:54,550 an industrial grade rotary timber saw, eh? 2168 01:22:54,552 --> 01:22:56,217 Hey! What about your accent? 2169 01:22:56,219 --> 01:23:01,021 Andrea Spooner, Ontario Provincial Police. 2170 01:23:01,023 --> 01:23:02,658 - What? - Shut up! 2171 01:23:02,660 --> 01:23:03,661 What? 2172 01:23:05,495 --> 01:23:07,061 - (RABBIT SCREAMING) - (ALL EXCLAIMING) 2173 01:23:07,063 --> 01:23:09,499 (SCREAMING CONTINUES) 2174 01:23:13,736 --> 01:23:16,470 GENEVIEVE: Why is the Vermont Highway Patrol even here? 2175 01:23:16,472 --> 01:23:18,974 I've been undercover three years. 2176 01:23:18,976 --> 01:23:20,074 Part of a task force... 2177 01:23:20,076 --> 01:23:21,443 with the Organized Crime Unit 2178 01:23:21,445 --> 01:23:23,345 of the Ontario Provincial Police. 2179 01:23:23,347 --> 01:23:24,779 She's down with OPP. 2180 01:23:24,781 --> 01:23:28,750 You assholes just blew three years of work for me. 2181 01:23:28,752 --> 01:23:30,452 I was this close to getting their supplier. 2182 01:23:30,454 --> 01:23:31,787 Now I'll never get them. 2183 01:23:31,789 --> 01:23:34,189 Well, I'm happy to offer you full cooperation of our... 2184 01:23:34,191 --> 01:23:35,593 Shut the fuck up! 2185 01:23:36,660 --> 01:23:38,226 Hm. 2186 01:23:38,228 --> 01:23:39,627 - Wow. - Wow. 2187 01:23:39,629 --> 01:23:41,663 GUY: Hey, guys, do me a solid, eh? 2188 01:23:41,665 --> 01:23:42,864 When you're sweeping up back there, 2189 01:23:42,866 --> 01:23:44,265 keep an eye out for my falsies. 2190 01:23:44,267 --> 01:23:46,234 Nah. You're not going to need teeth 2191 01:23:46,236 --> 01:23:47,402 where you're going, eh. 2192 01:23:47,404 --> 01:23:49,203 You were our hero, Guy. 2193 01:23:49,205 --> 01:23:50,939 An hockey player who owned a whorehouse. 2194 01:23:50,941 --> 01:23:52,573 Yeah, and to think you spent 11 years 2195 01:23:52,575 --> 01:23:53,908 in the Canadian system. 2196 01:23:53,910 --> 01:23:56,510 Newsy Lalonde would be rolling in his grave right now. 2197 01:23:56,512 --> 01:23:59,180 You would have fit in good in Calgary, eh. 2198 01:23:59,182 --> 01:24:00,881 Talk about a bunch of goon. 2199 01:24:00,883 --> 01:24:02,585 PODEIN: Especially that defenseman Bonchance. 2200 01:24:02,587 --> 01:24:03,952 That guy is the worst. 2201 01:24:03,954 --> 01:24:05,119 What a mucker, that guy, eh? 2202 01:24:05,121 --> 01:24:08,390 No, he end up in the QSPHL by the time he's 38. 2203 01:24:08,392 --> 01:24:09,994 Boring! 2204 01:24:10,628 --> 01:24:13,464 (GROANING) Easy! Easy! 2205 01:24:13,797 --> 01:24:15,064 Ah! Oh! 2206 01:24:15,066 --> 01:24:16,631 There he is! 2207 01:24:16,633 --> 01:24:18,466 They wrapped you in the Japanese flag. 2208 01:24:18,468 --> 01:24:20,467 (CONTINUES GROANING) 2209 01:24:20,469 --> 01:24:22,537 Hey, man, thanks for saving my life. 2210 01:24:22,539 --> 01:24:24,805 I don't know what I would have done without you. 2211 01:24:24,807 --> 01:24:27,074 Oh, that's okay, I don't need a hug. (GROANS) 2212 01:24:27,076 --> 01:24:28,512 It's not for you. 2213 01:24:31,214 --> 01:24:32,417 Okay. 2214 01:24:33,616 --> 01:24:36,454 RABBIT: (GROANING) Careful, careful, careful! 2215 01:24:41,157 --> 01:24:43,024 Dude, are you lactating? 2216 01:24:43,026 --> 01:24:46,894 I'm just doing what my body tells me to do, okay? 2217 01:24:46,896 --> 01:24:49,331 (CHUCKLES) Okay, Thorn. You're the tits! 2218 01:24:49,333 --> 01:24:50,899 Good luck with the wet T-shirt contest. 2219 01:24:50,901 --> 01:24:52,637 (BOTH LAUGHING) 2220 01:25:06,917 --> 01:25:08,052 Men. 2221 01:25:10,521 --> 01:25:11,854 How are ya feelin'? 2222 01:25:11,856 --> 01:25:13,521 Oh, it's okay. 2223 01:25:13,523 --> 01:25:15,991 I'm so sorry about saying "I hate you" back there. 2224 01:25:15,993 --> 01:25:18,359 Yeah. I know. I'm sorry I lied. 2225 01:25:18,361 --> 01:25:19,760 I just can't believe I didn't know. 2226 01:25:19,762 --> 01:25:22,667 Well, you were very sweet, but also very gullible. 2227 01:25:28,539 --> 01:25:30,405 Maybe you and I could get together 2228 01:25:30,407 --> 01:25:33,242 and listen to some old-timey French music... 2229 01:25:33,244 --> 01:25:35,310 when that gets all healed up. 2230 01:25:35,312 --> 01:25:36,547 Yeah, sure. 2231 01:25:40,249 --> 01:25:41,886 Fuckin' Canadian. 2232 01:25:43,053 --> 01:25:44,618 (CHUCKLES) 2233 01:25:44,620 --> 01:25:48,422 - Give me 50 cc's of morphine, shaving cream and a razor. - A razor for what? 2234 01:25:48,424 --> 01:25:49,992 To remove the hair from your testicles. 2235 01:25:49,994 --> 01:25:51,059 I have to stitch you up. 2236 01:25:51,061 --> 01:25:52,726 RABBIT: (STAMMERS) Why would you need to stitch me up? 2237 01:25:52,728 --> 01:25:53,996 It's like a paper cut. 2238 01:25:53,998 --> 01:25:55,997 All we need to do is get a little Band-Aid. Hey, guys! 2239 01:25:55,999 --> 01:25:57,131 Happy trails! 2240 01:25:57,133 --> 01:26:00,101 Looks like the rook's getting his nuts shaved after all. 2241 01:26:00,103 --> 01:26:01,972 (ALL LAUGHING) 2242 01:26:02,638 --> 01:26:04,708 (RABBIT SCREAMING) 2243 01:26:06,310 --> 01:26:08,443 - Who wants coffee? - Sounds good. 2244 01:26:08,445 --> 01:26:09,813 (HORN HONKS) 2245 01:26:15,185 --> 01:26:16,620 Captain O'Hagan! 2246 01:26:17,922 --> 01:26:20,922 I hear you and your men did some good work. 2247 01:26:20,924 --> 01:26:23,759 We did. We caught the smugglers. 2248 01:26:23,761 --> 01:26:24,826 Again. 2249 01:26:24,828 --> 01:26:26,260 (YELLS) 2250 01:26:26,262 --> 01:26:27,828 - (SCREAMING) - (SQUELCHING) 2251 01:26:27,830 --> 01:26:29,331 What the hell was that? 2252 01:26:29,333 --> 01:26:31,466 FARVA: Oh, shit. 2253 01:26:31,468 --> 01:26:32,970 (LAUGHING) 2254 01:26:34,404 --> 01:26:37,738 Done and done. (GROANING) 2255 01:26:37,740 --> 01:26:40,908 This little piggy cried, "God damn! That hurt!" 2256 01:26:40,910 --> 01:26:41,775 (LAUGHS) 2257 01:26:41,777 --> 01:26:43,479 What the hell happened to you? 2258 01:26:43,481 --> 01:26:45,447 Ah. I just lost a pussy bet. 2259 01:26:45,449 --> 01:26:47,114 If I "toed" ya, I'd have to kill ya. 2260 01:26:47,116 --> 01:26:48,350 (LAUGHS) Oh! 2261 01:26:48,352 --> 01:26:50,018 Watch the hoof! Ow! Watch the hoof! 2262 01:26:50,020 --> 01:26:51,353 - (STUN GUN CRACKLING) - (FARVA SCREAMING) 2263 01:26:51,355 --> 01:26:54,622 Officers! Cassandra Anne Gacek, Action Five News. 2264 01:26:54,624 --> 01:26:56,524 Given your involvement with this bust 2265 01:26:56,526 --> 01:26:57,792 how does it feel to know 2266 01:26:57,794 --> 01:26:59,563 that you are still being replaced? 2267 01:27:00,896 --> 01:27:05,734 Uh, you know, when they first arrive I am wondering: 2268 01:27:05,736 --> 01:27:07,268 "Who are these people 2269 01:27:07,270 --> 01:27:09,470 they come here taked our land?" 2270 01:27:09,472 --> 01:27:12,176 But then I have it, my answer, huh. 2271 01:27:14,945 --> 01:27:17,412 They are heroes. 2272 01:27:17,414 --> 01:27:18,813 CROWD: Aw! 2273 01:27:18,815 --> 01:27:23,118 These men... they putted their life on the line for us. 2274 01:27:23,120 --> 01:27:26,689 One of them, he even saved my life. 2275 01:27:26,691 --> 01:27:30,192 This tan guy here with the wet tits. 2276 01:27:30,194 --> 01:27:31,158 (CROWD LAUGHS) 2277 01:27:31,160 --> 01:27:34,128 - But we hate Americans! - I hear you. I hear you. 2278 01:27:34,130 --> 01:27:35,497 But I have to tell you... 2279 01:27:35,499 --> 01:27:37,466 if these gentlemen are an example 2280 01:27:37,468 --> 01:27:39,967 of what it means to be American... 2281 01:27:39,969 --> 01:27:40,902 I'm okay. 2282 01:27:40,904 --> 01:27:43,137 Then I am proud to be an American too. 2283 01:27:43,139 --> 01:27:46,207 - All right. - I am. I'm proud to be American. 2284 01:27:46,209 --> 01:27:48,577 So, we're leaving to start our station up north. 2285 01:27:48,579 --> 01:27:49,810 But I say with great confidence 2286 01:27:49,812 --> 01:27:51,046 that we couldn't leave you in better hands 2287 01:27:51,048 --> 01:27:54,616 than in those of the Vermont Highway Patrol. 2288 01:27:54,618 --> 01:27:56,920 (ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING) 2289 01:27:59,356 --> 01:28:02,358 How does it feel to be the coolest motherfucker on this planet? 2290 01:28:02,360 --> 01:28:05,260 You tell me, buddy. You tell me. 2291 01:28:05,262 --> 01:28:08,596 - (CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING) - CROWD: Aw. 2292 01:28:08,598 --> 01:28:10,900 JESSMAN: Uh, yeah. Excuse me. 2293 01:28:11,235 --> 01:28:12,268 Hold on. 2294 01:28:13,570 --> 01:28:15,737 Actually, I'm here to tell you 2295 01:28:15,739 --> 01:28:17,840 that the U.S. and Canadian governments 2296 01:28:17,842 --> 01:28:20,074 have decided to postpone the turnover 2297 01:28:20,076 --> 01:28:23,110 until the rest of the hidden contraband is found. 2298 01:28:23,112 --> 01:28:25,546 - (CROWD GASPS) - CASSANDRA: So, wait. 2299 01:28:25,548 --> 01:28:28,082 Are we Canadians or are we Americans? 2300 01:28:28,084 --> 01:28:30,717 You're still Canadians for now. 2301 01:28:30,719 --> 01:28:33,988 And that's going to continue indefinitely. 2302 01:28:33,990 --> 01:28:35,192 (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) Sorry. 2303 01:28:36,093 --> 01:28:37,962 (ALL CLAMORING) 2304 01:28:39,262 --> 01:28:42,898 Okay, so we are now in control of this area again, eh? 2305 01:28:42,900 --> 01:28:45,067 No, no. We both have authority. 2306 01:28:45,069 --> 01:28:46,635 You got the authority to go take 2307 01:28:46,637 --> 01:28:48,069 a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut. 2308 01:28:48,071 --> 01:28:50,104 Hey, we just saved your lives, you remember that? 2309 01:28:50,106 --> 01:28:51,738 BELLEFUILLE: We have an expression here. 2310 01:28:51,740 --> 01:28:53,908 It go, "What have you done for me lately?" 2311 01:28:53,910 --> 01:28:55,344 Yeah, maybe we'll haul your ass 2312 01:28:55,346 --> 01:28:56,510 back out to the woods naked. 2313 01:28:56,512 --> 01:28:59,546 Or maybe we could burn down your White House again! Eh? 2314 01:28:59,548 --> 01:29:00,881 What the hell does that mean? 2315 01:29:00,883 --> 01:29:03,652 The War of 1812, eh. Learn your history. 2316 01:29:03,654 --> 01:29:05,356 - (GRUNTS) - (ALL EXCLAIMING) 2317 01:29:07,124 --> 01:29:09,957 Oh! You punched the mustache right off his face! 2318 01:29:09,959 --> 01:29:12,661 No, no, no! Look, he's wearing a postiche, eh! 2319 01:29:12,663 --> 01:29:14,796 (ALL LAUGHING) 2320 01:29:14,798 --> 01:29:16,631 You shut up about his postiche, come on! 2321 01:29:16,633 --> 01:29:17,935 (ALL GRUNTING) 2322 01:29:19,703 --> 01:29:23,136 ♪ Well, she was, she was, she was ♪ 2323 01:29:23,138 --> 01:29:26,774 ♪ She was blinded by the light ♪ 2324 01:29:26,776 --> 01:29:28,376 ♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪ 2325 01:29:28,378 --> 01:29:30,679 ♪ Another runner in the night ♪ 2326 01:29:30,681 --> 01:29:33,881 ♪ Blinded by the light ♪ 2327 01:29:33,883 --> 01:29:35,716 ♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪ 2328 01:29:35,718 --> 01:29:37,786 ♪ Another runner in the night ♪ 2329 01:29:37,788 --> 01:29:41,021 ♪ Blinded by the light ♪ 2330 01:29:41,023 --> 01:29:42,524 ♪ Revved up like a... ♪ 2331 01:29:42,526 --> 01:29:43,728 (MUSIC STOPS) 2332 01:29:46,864 --> 01:29:48,065 - (CAT MEOWS) - What do you got? 2333 01:29:48,731 --> 01:29:49,764 Cat in a tree. 2334 01:29:49,766 --> 01:29:52,268 - (CAT MEOWS) - THORNY: Ah, yeah. 2335 01:29:52,902 --> 01:29:54,002 Hey, Fred Savage. 2336 01:29:54,004 --> 01:29:55,737 - How's it going? - Macintyre Womack. 2337 01:29:55,739 --> 01:29:57,139 Oh, pleasure to meet you, Officer. 2338 01:29:57,141 --> 01:29:57,904 Carl Foster. 2339 01:29:57,906 --> 01:29:59,407 Nice to meet you. Fred. 2340 01:29:59,409 --> 01:30:01,076 So, what's with the ride-along? You got a cop movie coming out? 2341 01:30:01,078 --> 01:30:03,243 Uh, no, it's actually a new show for the Syfy Channel. 2342 01:30:03,245 --> 01:30:06,782 Kind of a small-town alien invasion show called Vermonsters. 2343 01:30:06,784 --> 01:30:08,315 - ALL: Oh! - I'd see that. 2344 01:30:08,317 --> 01:30:09,751 So, do you guys spend a lot of time 2345 01:30:09,753 --> 01:30:11,385 getting, um, cats out of trees? 2346 01:30:11,387 --> 01:30:13,253 Is that kinda the job? 2347 01:30:13,255 --> 01:30:15,155 No, we get the call and then we call the Fire Department. 2348 01:30:15,157 --> 01:30:16,859 - They get the damn thing out. - Oh. 2349 01:30:16,861 --> 01:30:19,493 Could I actually trouble you for a quick selfie? 2350 01:30:19,495 --> 01:30:21,895 - (BOTH CHUCKLING) - I'm a big Princess Bride fan. 2351 01:30:21,897 --> 01:30:23,030 SAVAGE: Yes. My pleasure. 2352 01:30:23,032 --> 01:30:24,599 That was my "get laid movie" in high school. 2353 01:30:24,601 --> 01:30:26,134 Oh! You're welcome. 2354 01:30:26,136 --> 01:30:27,668 - MAC AND SAVAGE: Buttercup! - (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) 2355 01:30:27,670 --> 01:30:28,737 Holy shit! 2356 01:30:28,739 --> 01:30:29,636 - Did you get it? - MAC: Nailed it. 2357 01:30:29,638 --> 01:30:31,206 Fred fuckin' Savage, huh? 2358 01:30:31,208 --> 01:30:33,073 - Uh, yes. That's me. - He's right here! Look at him! 2359 01:30:33,075 --> 01:30:34,576 - Yeah, we know. - SAVAGE: How are ya? 2360 01:30:34,578 --> 01:30:35,877 You still with Winnie? 2361 01:30:35,879 --> 01:30:37,979 Uh, no, no. Just a... just a show, man. 2362 01:30:37,981 --> 01:30:40,114 - I call sloppy seconds! - Okay, great. 2363 01:30:40,116 --> 01:30:41,983 I think I'm gonna get the cat. I'm gonna get the cat. 2364 01:30:41,985 --> 01:30:43,350 Mr. Savage, we can't let you do that, 2365 01:30:43,352 --> 01:30:44,252 because, you know, well, 2366 01:30:44,254 --> 01:30:45,487 we're responsible for your safety. 2367 01:30:45,489 --> 01:30:47,055 Don't worry about it. I'm an expert climber. 2368 01:30:47,057 --> 01:30:48,823 Remember the movie Super Monkey? 2369 01:30:48,825 --> 01:30:50,192 ALL: Yeah. 2370 01:30:50,194 --> 01:30:51,492 I did all my own stunts in that movie. 2371 01:30:51,494 --> 01:30:52,592 I'm good with the trees. 2372 01:30:52,594 --> 01:30:53,694 - Okay. - (CAT MEOWS) 2373 01:30:53,696 --> 01:30:54,796 (GRUNTS) 2374 01:30:54,798 --> 01:30:57,364 Look at him go. Wow. 2375 01:30:57,366 --> 01:30:59,934 SAVAGE: I can see it! I got the cat. 2376 01:30:59,936 --> 01:31:01,536 Take it easy, Mr. Savage. 2377 01:31:01,538 --> 01:31:03,238 I thought Super Monkey sucked. 2378 01:31:03,240 --> 01:31:05,105 Yeah. And the monkeys were so fuckin' fake. 2379 01:31:05,107 --> 01:31:07,274 - A.O. Scott said the plot was bananas. - SAVAGE: Hey, buddy. 2380 01:31:07,276 --> 01:31:08,976 Hey, you know, I can hear you guys. 2381 01:31:08,978 --> 01:31:10,411 Alright, you should try acting in a movie 2382 01:31:10,413 --> 01:31:12,412 and doing your own stunts. It's really hard! 2383 01:31:12,414 --> 01:31:14,649 - (LAUGHS) Sure. - All right, don't be dicks. 2384 01:31:14,651 --> 01:31:16,216 - (BRANCHES SNAP) - (YELPS) 2385 01:31:16,218 --> 01:31:18,153 - (SAVAGE GROANING) - (ALL EXCLAIMING) 2386 01:31:18,155 --> 01:31:20,221 (THUDDING) 2387 01:31:20,223 --> 01:31:21,657 (YELLS, GRUNTS) 2388 01:31:21,659 --> 01:31:22,890 (EXHALES) Woo! 2389 01:31:22,892 --> 01:31:24,492 (ALL CHEERING) 2390 01:31:24,494 --> 01:31:25,693 Did you see that shit?! 2391 01:31:25,695 --> 01:31:26,760 (ALL LAUGH) 2392 01:31:26,762 --> 01:31:28,729 Any of you motherfuckers want some pussy? 2393 01:31:28,731 --> 01:31:30,498 - What's up?! - (ALL CHEER) 2394 01:31:30,500 --> 01:31:31,632 (HORN BLARES) 2395 01:31:31,634 --> 01:31:32,900 (ALL GASP) 2396 01:31:32,902 --> 01:31:35,105 (UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 2397 01:31:53,723 --> 01:31:56,024 ♪ Madman drummers bummers ♪ 2398 01:31:56,026 --> 01:31:57,259 ♪ Indians in the summer ♪ 2399 01:31:57,261 --> 01:32:00,761 ♪ With a teenage diplomat ♪ 2400 01:32:00,763 --> 01:32:02,698 ♪ In the dumps with the mumps ♪ 2401 01:32:02,700 --> 01:32:04,299 ♪ As the adolescent pumps ♪ 2402 01:32:04,301 --> 01:32:07,536 ♪ His way into his hat ♪ 2403 01:32:07,538 --> 01:32:09,703 ♪ With a boulder on my shoulder ♪ 2404 01:32:09,705 --> 01:32:11,271 ♪ Feelin' kinda older ♪ 2405 01:32:11,273 --> 01:32:14,542 ♪ I tripped the merry-go-round ♪ 2406 01:32:14,544 --> 01:32:16,810 ♪ With this very unpleasin' ♪ 2407 01:32:16,812 --> 01:32:18,479 ♪ Sneezin' and wheezin' ♪ 2408 01:32:18,481 --> 01:32:22,151 ♪ The calliope crashed to the ground ♪ 2409 01:32:31,896 --> 01:32:35,130 ♪ The calliope crashed to the ground ♪ 2410 01:32:35,132 --> 01:32:39,600 ♪ Yeah, she was blinded by the light ♪ 2411 01:32:39,602 --> 01:32:41,301 ♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪ 2412 01:32:41,303 --> 01:32:43,305 ♪ Another runner in the night ♪ 2413 01:32:43,307 --> 01:32:46,707 ♪ Blinded by the light ♪ 2414 01:32:46,709 --> 01:32:48,341 ♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪ 2415 01:32:48,343 --> 01:32:50,644 ♪ Another runner in the night ♪ 2416 01:32:50,646 --> 01:32:53,780 ♪ Blinded by the light ♪ 2417 01:32:53,782 --> 01:32:55,515 ♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪ 2418 01:32:55,517 --> 01:32:57,719 ♪ Another runner in the night ♪ 2419 01:32:57,721 --> 01:33:01,058 ♪ Blinded by the light ♪ 2420 01:33:03,927 --> 01:33:06,360 ♪ Some silicone sister ♪ 2421 01:33:06,362 --> 01:33:08,328 ♪ With a manager mister ♪ 2422 01:33:08,330 --> 01:33:11,233 ♪ Told me I got what it takes ♪ 2423 01:33:11,235 --> 01:33:15,002 ♪ She said "I'll turn you on sonny to something strong ♪ 2424 01:33:15,004 --> 01:33:18,171 ♪ Play the song with the funky breaks" ♪ 2425 01:33:18,173 --> 01:33:20,274 ♪ And go-cart Mozart ♪ 2426 01:33:20,276 --> 01:33:22,409 ♪ Was checkin' out the weather chart ♪ 2427 01:33:22,411 --> 01:33:25,313 ♪ See if it was safe outside ♪ 2428 01:33:25,315 --> 01:33:29,250 ♪ And little early-pearly came by in his curly-wurly ♪ 2429 01:33:29,252 --> 01:33:33,156 ♪ And asked me if I needed a ride ♪ 2430 01:33:42,665 --> 01:33:45,567 ♪ The calliope crashed to the ground ♪ 2431 01:33:45,569 --> 01:33:50,137 ♪ Yeah, she was blinded by the light ♪ 2432 01:33:50,139 --> 01:33:51,905 ♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪ 2433 01:33:51,907 --> 01:33:54,109 ♪ Another runner in the night ♪ 2434 01:33:54,111 --> 01:33:57,314 ♪ Blinded by the light ♪ 2435 01:34:03,120 --> 01:34:05,354 JAY: (ON RADIO) You reach for your ticket book. 2436 01:34:05,356 --> 01:34:06,287 I got ya. Okay. 2437 01:34:06,289 --> 01:34:08,758 'Scuse me. Sorry. (CHUCKLES) Sorry. 2438 01:34:09,659 --> 01:34:11,259 (SPITS) 2439 01:34:11,261 --> 01:34:13,193 Don't worry about it. Hold that for me. 2440 01:34:13,195 --> 01:34:14,561 - JAY: Here we go. Ready? - Yeah. 2441 01:34:14,563 --> 01:34:16,965 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 2442 01:34:16,967 --> 01:34:18,502 (HORSE NEIGHS) 2443 01:34:19,803 --> 01:34:22,237 - (SPEAKING FRENCH) - (HORSE WHINNIES) 2444 01:34:22,239 --> 01:34:25,439 - (SPEAKING FRENCH) - (HORSE NICKERS) 2445 01:34:25,441 --> 01:34:28,176 - (SPEAKING FRENCH) Ooh! - (HORSE WHINNIES) 2446 01:34:28,178 --> 01:34:30,144 I can't believe it's a crime down in the U.S. 2447 01:34:30,146 --> 01:34:32,313 to drink beer and enjoy tits and dick. 2448 01:34:32,315 --> 01:34:35,483 I mean, beep beep! There's no harm there. 2449 01:34:35,485 --> 01:34:37,752 I mean... (IMITATES BUZZER) There's no harm there. 2450 01:34:37,754 --> 01:34:40,391 (IMITATING PUNCHING BAG) It's a good workout, eh. 2451 01:34:42,258 --> 01:34:43,858 JAY: Cut. I could do that all night. 2452 01:34:43,860 --> 01:34:45,827 - I know... - (ALL LAUGHING) 2453 01:34:45,829 --> 01:34:47,894 JAY: And action! 2454 01:34:47,896 --> 01:34:49,663 - Oh! - (ALL LAUGHING) 2455 01:34:49,665 --> 01:34:52,000 That's how easy it is. 2456 01:34:52,002 --> 01:34:53,667 Oh! Jesus Christ. Motherfucker. 2457 01:34:53,669 --> 01:34:56,738 What do we got, till lunch? We got till lunch? 2458 01:34:56,740 --> 01:34:57,805 - JAY: Action. - (BALLOON POPS) 2459 01:34:57,807 --> 01:34:59,041 - Oh! - (ALL LAUGH) 2460 01:34:59,043 --> 01:35:02,443 Which one of you guys has a, le, a le seniority? 2461 01:35:02,445 --> 01:35:04,511 (ALL LAUGHING) 2462 01:35:04,513 --> 01:35:06,417 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 2463 01:35:08,250 --> 01:35:10,385 JAY: You got to blow those cheeks out. 2464 01:35:10,387 --> 01:35:11,452 Okay. 2465 01:35:11,454 --> 01:35:15,088 I think I have some of your mustache in my mouth. 2466 01:35:15,090 --> 01:35:16,658 Where's your asshole? 2467 01:35:16,660 --> 01:35:19,327 STEVE LEMME: It's right about... right there. 2468 01:35:19,329 --> 01:35:20,761 Just follow the heat. 2469 01:35:20,763 --> 01:35:23,998 First you steal our job and now you sit here 2470 01:35:24,000 --> 01:35:25,733 getting a sensual massage from a chair 2471 01:35:25,735 --> 01:35:29,569 in the center of the mall with our women. 2472 01:35:29,571 --> 01:35:32,306 JAY: (LAUGHS) Can you shorten that? 2473 01:35:32,308 --> 01:35:34,108 No, that's the only way I can say it. 2474 01:35:34,110 --> 01:35:36,711 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Jeez Louise. 2475 01:35:36,713 --> 01:35:39,146 Now I know who gobbled up all my Lava Scotia. 2476 01:35:39,148 --> 01:35:40,314 JAY: Uh, Flova Scotia. 2477 01:35:40,316 --> 01:35:42,750 Now I know who gobbled up all my Flava Scotia. 2478 01:35:42,752 --> 01:35:44,853 - JAY: Uh, Flo, uh, Flova. - Flova. God damn it. 2479 01:35:44,855 --> 01:35:46,054 All my Flava Scotia. 2480 01:35:46,056 --> 01:35:48,223 - All my Flava Scotia. - JAY: (LAUGHING) Flova. 2481 01:35:48,225 --> 01:35:50,091 I'm gonna get it. Nova. Flova. 2482 01:35:50,093 --> 01:35:53,060 Now I know who gobbled up all my Flava Scotia. 2483 01:35:53,062 --> 01:35:55,029 - Close? - JAY: No. Not really. 2484 01:35:55,031 --> 01:35:57,230 (SHOUTING IN FRENCH) 2485 01:35:57,232 --> 01:35:59,434 What about this?! What about this, huh?! 2486 01:35:59,436 --> 01:36:01,034 Didn't we do that to like 2487 01:36:01,036 --> 01:36:02,836 a skinny blond guy with a big forehead? 2488 01:36:02,838 --> 01:36:03,938 Smelled like bacon? 2489 01:36:03,940 --> 01:36:05,573 Always yakking about Hot Pockets? 2490 01:36:05,575 --> 01:36:06,774 That was me. 2491 01:36:06,776 --> 01:36:08,909 You asked if I saw you 2492 01:36:08,911 --> 01:36:11,311 jumping around all mimbly bimbly... 2493 01:36:11,313 --> 01:36:12,913 You asked if I saw you 2494 01:36:12,915 --> 01:36:15,750 jumping around all nimby, ni... 2495 01:36:15,752 --> 01:36:17,618 All nibbily-bimbly. 2496 01:36:17,620 --> 01:36:19,487 Sorry, what... It's nimbly-bimbly. 2497 01:36:19,489 --> 01:36:21,456 - STEVE LEMME: Come on, Gaffigan! - (ALL LAUGHING) 2498 01:36:21,458 --> 01:36:25,092 - (GRUNTS) - Idiot. (GRUNTS) 2499 01:36:25,094 --> 01:36:30,265 Bon vivant bouillabaisse, croissant, le chicken cordon bleu? 2500 01:36:30,267 --> 01:36:32,699 JAY: Eh, that's a little much. 2501 01:36:32,701 --> 01:36:35,168 - This one says "Tiger Penis". - FARVA: Suck it! 2502 01:36:35,170 --> 01:36:37,837 - Shut up, Farva. - Sorry. It's just funny. 2503 01:36:37,839 --> 01:36:40,641 Eh... (STAMMERING) 2504 01:36:40,643 --> 01:36:42,310 (IN FRENCH ACCENT) What the shit, Guy? 2505 01:36:42,312 --> 01:36:43,644 Why you tell us they are the smuggler... 2506 01:36:43,646 --> 01:36:46,646 - Sorry, I'm sorry. - (ALL LAUGHING) 2507 01:36:46,648 --> 01:36:48,852 (CONTINUING IN FRENCH ACCENT) Uh... Eh... 2508 01:36:49,819 --> 01:36:52,118 All right. All right. Here we go, here we go. 2509 01:36:52,120 --> 01:36:53,787 - Just gotta find it. - Yeah, I got it. 2510 01:36:53,789 --> 01:36:55,525 Uh... 2511 01:36:56,526 --> 01:36:58,395 (ALL LAUGHING) 2512 01:36:59,027 --> 01:37:02,028 Uh... Eh... 2513 01:37:02,030 --> 01:37:04,698 Sorry. I'm totally... Okay, okay. 2514 01:37:04,700 --> 01:37:05,800 Hey, cut it. 2515 01:37:05,802 --> 01:37:07,536 (MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 2516 01:37:07,538 --> 01:37:09,938 (ALL APPLAUDING) 2517 01:37:09,940 --> 01:37:13,541 ♪ She got down, but she never got tight ♪ 2518 01:37:13,543 --> 01:37:17,177 ♪ She's gonna make it ♪ 2519 01:37:17,179 --> 01:37:21,215 ♪ Through the night ♪ 2520 01:37:21,217 --> 01:37:22,753 (BLOWS RASPBERRY) 2521 01:37:36,164 --> 01:37:39,367 ♪ What a drag ♪ 2522 01:37:39,369 --> 01:37:43,874 ♪ Sittin' here at home on Saturday night ♪ 2523 01:37:45,107 --> 01:37:47,841 ♪ And I'm alone ♪ 2524 01:37:47,843 --> 01:37:52,512 ♪ Just staring at my phone trying to make it ring ♪ 2525 01:37:52,514 --> 01:37:55,448 ♪ Wish I had a friend ♪ 2526 01:37:55,450 --> 01:37:57,887 ♪ I can tell my jokes to ♪ 2527 01:38:00,824 --> 01:38:03,623 ♪ My truck ♪ 2528 01:38:03,625 --> 01:38:06,394 ♪ Is runnin' pretty rough ♪ 2529 01:38:06,396 --> 01:38:09,296 ♪ It don't matter much ♪ 2530 01:38:09,298 --> 01:38:12,634 ♪ I'm out of gas ♪ 2531 01:38:12,636 --> 01:38:17,270 ♪ If I had a tank, I'd take a ride ♪ 2532 01:38:17,272 --> 01:38:20,108 ♪ But I don't know where to ♪ 2533 01:38:20,110 --> 01:38:22,478 ♪ Great Saturday night ♪ 2534 01:38:25,347 --> 01:38:27,850 (VOCALIZING) 2535 01:38:34,324 --> 01:38:36,526 ♪ Saturday night ♪ 2536 01:38:39,062 --> 01:38:41,865 (VOCALIZING) 2537 01:38:47,870 --> 01:38:50,406 ♪ Saturday night ♪ 2538 01:39:01,347 --> 01:39:06,347 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2539 01:39:08,490 --> 01:39:11,294 (SONG PLAYING ON RADIO) 2540 01:39:12,062 --> 01:39:13,530 (SIGHS DEEPLY) 2541 01:39:17,734 --> 01:39:20,771 (WHIRRING) 2542 01:39:23,740 --> 01:39:24,741 (SIGHS) 2543 01:39:25,842 --> 01:39:27,444 (GULPING) 2544 01:39:29,145 --> 01:39:30,547 Mm-mm. 184228

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