All language subtitles for Succession.S01E05.WEB.H264-DEFLATE

- So, uh, dad's back.
- What, back in the chair?

That's kinda fast, right?
But it's good, obviously.

Good? You'd love it if his brain
fell out the back of his head.

I talked to my grandfather and said that

- I can come to you.
- Just get him to ask me.

You two don't talk so much, right?

You need to think about the future
because this is the old world.

And someday, in this world,
things will change.

There's an unofficial company
policy on the cruise line,

that if there was
a serious criminal incident,

we would sail to so-called
"friendly" authorities.

- Incidents like?
- Theft, rape, murder.

The bad ones.

You know
he re-hired Frank to babysit me?

And you're CEO, can he even do that?

The dinosaur's having one last
roar before he wipes them out.

Kendall Roy will give
the traditional address tonight

in a sign that Logan Roy
is intending to wind down

from public duties.

There's been a change of plan.

Kendall's not speaking. I am.

I'm officially announcing I am back.

Better than ever!

- I see you.
- I have no idea

- what you're talking about.
- Fuck off.

You have arrived at your destination.

Hey, hey, hey.

You're late.

Well, like, ten minutes, Grandpa.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Not for the Indians.

No, sir.

Nope, that is... still true.

So, shall we grab some lunch
and then hit the road?

I gots the old rumblin' tum.

No. Let's go before it snows.

- Synced and corrected by Shazi89 -
- www.addic7ed.com -

- Ken.
- Yeah.

I think your dad might
appreciate your input.

Uh, Ro.

this, and we have...

Oh, look out, folks.

- Here come the top minds.
- Hey.

So, what you got cookin'?

Really no need, gentlemen,

Frank wanted to fold you in on this,

but you should know, probably,
my thinking in terms of things.

There's a potential opportunity

for some acquisitions and consolidation.

Packet of local TV stations.

Local TV?

No one watches TV, Dad.

No. TV is where the majority
of people get their news.

More people watch local
than any other kind.

Yeah, but not really.

I could see
short-term we make some cash,

but I'm just saying, for Waystar,

is this a good look?

There's this fancy new business theory.

It's called "Make more than you
spend and you're King Cunt."

Dad, come on.

Why shouldn't we do all the news?

Why shouldn't we do all the news?

- Yeah.
- Well, Kim Jong Pop,

because that's not
how things work in this country.

You just love telling
people what to think,

- don't you?
- Fuck off.

People come to us because we
don't sell them on anything.

No packet of fuckin' bleedin' heart

United Nations Volvo
gender-bender horseshit.

The politics on this would be horrible.

Justice, FCC, anti-trust.

We'd be tied up for years.

Nah. TV's fucked.

It needs to consolidate.

Fine. I don't want to make this a thing.

You like local TV, great. You're smart.

I just hope it doesn't mean
we can't pursue diversification

- and innovation.
- Of course!

India, China...

Do you know how many
fuckin' people are in Indonesia?

- Roman.
- Hmm? What?

Uh, yeah, sure. Who doesn't?

It's more than you think.
Like, a billion.

Roman, you're a moron.

You should get back into
all that for us, Kendall.

- Get back into what?
- Vice-president.

Digital. Global.

Based out of Dubai,
India, China... wherever.

Excuse me. Are you fuckin' serious?
Meeting over. Fuck off.

Dad?

Dad! Hey! Whoa, whoa!
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

Stop. Stop. Got it.

Oh. Shit.

That's a big fuckin' mess.

- Get any on ya? No?
- Hmm.

Get someone to clean this up?

Yeah?

You all right, Dad?

Yeah. Fine.

A long drive, eh?

I get it.

You know, Mom had a friend
who was afraid of flying,

but he actually died
in a traffic accident.

Uh... And he was on a bike

and heavy meds.

So, but this is... this is cool.

It's just you and me,
we got this whole time

to talk about whatever, you know,

business, uh, stuff,

the... the future corporate... ya know,

or just let the country music play.

No music. No chatter.

Keep your mind on the driving.

Big meeting today.

Nothing serious, just work, so...

- Yeah. Couldn't sleep.
- Yeah, me neither.

Sometimes I thought I was asleep,
and then I wasn't. I was weird.

Well, you were snoring like a hog, so...

Yeah, well, my nasal strip fell off.

- What's this?
- It's the pre-nup.

Whoo-hoo-hoo! OK!

- Ahh. Yeah.
- Yeah?

It means it's really happening.
We're getting married.

That is a very romantic way
of looking at a pre-nup.

You know what? I am not
even gonna look at that.

- Just show me where to sign.
- Tom, you have to look at it.

No, listen, honestly, honey,
I'm not from money,

you're from money...
I don't wanna look at it.

Just... I hereby comply.

I don't want you to comply.

That is not the basis
for a healthy relationship.

Fine. Fine.

As a gesture of my love to you,

I will have my lawyer look at it. OK?

But just so you know,

in my head, I've already signed it.

OK.

How's it goin'?

I hear your father's much better.

Yup. Yup.

So great.

Just to say, though,
down in the pig sty,

we're all huge fans of your stuff.

Innovation.

Thank you.

Like, uh, like what?

Oh, everything. Data storage.

The digital guys I know
were all popping.

Not to sound cheap, but the
whole breakfast cereals thing?

Yeah, the Bertram muesli was off the hook.
That shit was crazy.

Were you involved in that?

Yes.

Yes, I was.

So, I met the guy. Sylvester.

Sylvester?

Did you use a fake name?

Uh, I think Sylvester's his real name.

Who's called Sylvester?

He's just, we pay him,
he's normal, he's legit,

he's on the record... he says it's easy.

He's gonna shred
this cruise problem away.

OK. Well, I'm worried.

Did you know that after
the Iranian revolution,

the students, they taped back together

the shredded documents
from the US embassy?

Did you know about that?

Uh, he asked a lot
about the digital deep clean,

and I said that was good,
emails and servers,

nice and general, not specific.

But, um, of course
we'd wiped the specifics.

Great. So how does this part work?

- OK. We shred...
- Yeah?

then some guys come in when we're quiet,

he suggests right away,
tomorrow, Thanksgiving,

and, uh... they'll dispose
of the unwanted materials.

We just need someone to shred

and to sign out the materials
from the document depository,

and that name could...
that's a name that could, uh,

draw some heat were things to go... bad.

Well, uh, I can't do it,

obviously, Thanksgiving.

Um, could you?

I mean, I could,

it's just, it's, uh, you know,

the task in hand is a little...

No, sure. Absolutely.

You need someone you can trust,

but who is... not expendable...

- That would be horrible.
- Oh, no.

Sure. I get it.

Totally. Totally.

Yeah, it's not as if we'd be
throwing someone under a bus.

It's giving someone
an opportunity to shine.

- Yeah?
- Great.

Yeah.

- Hey, buddy! What's up?
- Hey, Tom.

What's goin' on? Am I gonna see
you in the office anytime soon?

Uh, not that soon,
I'm actually driving...

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. What's your ETA?

Uh, about 12 hours?
I'm... I'm in Canada.

Excuse me? Canada?

Canada with the healthcare
and the ennui?

Why is that, cock-sock?

Um, I'm driving my grandpa
down for Thanksgiving.

Oh, Greg, fuck your grandpa.

You're on speakerphone, Tom!

Well, I shouldn't be, Greg.

I know... I... But I'm
driving, so I can't, like...

So you are. You're still on it.

OK, Greg, so, um, hurry up,

'cause I got a little job
for you, and, uh,

yeah, I'm being nice,
'cause I'm on speakerphone,

but if I wasn't on
speakerphone I'd be being,

shall we say, somewhat less agreeable?

- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah?

All right. See ya.

So, yeah... It's good.

It's rough and tumble.

You know? He's, uh,

I call him a dickie, too.

He's pretty lonely, and...
and afraid. I guess.

Come all the way up.

- Fuck you.
- Come all the way up.

Let's go, come on! Up!

Ah, no! No...

Oh, my God, what the fuck!

I feel like I'm being
pretty fuckin' clear

I need a modicum of space
every 24 hours.

It's your brother.
He absolutely insisted...

Is it true? About the coffee?

Uh, what, Dad?

Can you give us a minute?

Yeah, sure, he kept pouring,
and it just went everywhere.

- Like he didn't even see.
- Jesus. He's not right.

Local TV. Local news.

Here's a news story for you:

Elderly local man doesn't realize
he's getting butt-fucked by Google.

I am not going back to Shanghai. I
saved the company when he was sick.

Did you hear the way he talked to me?

That was his tone the entire
time I was at the studio.

Oh, dude, I know. So patronizing.

Who knows how many people
live in Indonesia?

Who actually gives a shit?
Fuck Indonesia.

- Sounds like a medical condition.
- One of us eventually takes over,

- there's gonna be nothing left.
- Like, how many people live in your ass?

- Rip Van Fucking Asshole.
- It's like the firm's being run

by a compulsive hoarder.

It's this big old, ugly, spooky house,

and he's all caked up in the middle

covered in fucking moldy newspapers

with the local news blaring,

feeding Wonder Bread to raccoons!

Anyway, are you gonna do something?

- I should.
- Yeah, you should.

And the only way he'll respect you

is if you try to destroy him,
because in your position,

that is exactly what he would try to do.

Yeah.

I can't do that.

Well, obviously, so have fun
in Shanghai.

Work's... Work's goin' OK,
I would say, yup.

Workin' hard.

One of the symptoms of
an approaching nervous breakdown

is the belief that one's "work"

is ever so important.

That's Bertrand Russell.

Huh. Yes, indeed.

Yes... Yes to that.

Um, but I sometimes think,

and I... you know, I know
you're very busy with the ranch

and with you readings and your research,

but I sometimes wonder if one day

you wouldn't be interested in, like...

giving up the seat on the board
and just, like, chilling out,

like, just relaxing, you know?

Life is nothing but a competition

to be the criminal
rather than the victim.

Also Bertrand Russell.

I don't have a Bertrand Russell quote,

because I just... haven't even
heard of him till now,

but, um, but I do have this one.

Just puttin' it out there.

Good evening.

How was it?

Ohh. Hi.

- How do you feel?
- Great.

I have some news.

Ewan is definitely
coming to Thanksgiving.

Ewan? Bullshit. Why?

Why? Well, because he asked
and said he'd like to come,

and I said yes.

You're a pretty good liar.

It's not good to have rifts
in the family.

It's not a rift. He lives in
Canada... and he's a prick.

Uh-huh. And how long since you spoke?

We send him a fuckin'
birthday card, don't we?

Not that I get any thanks.

Look, so, we both know
you didn't come back

out of love for my father.

I guess what I wanted to ask
is, um... what's your plan?

Ever hear of loyalty?

Sure. Wasn't he one of the Seven Dwarfs?

- Oh, boy.
- No?

Oh, he's a rapper. He was in Wu-Tang?

Fuck. Sorry, I gave everyone
Thanksgiving off.

Motherfucker.

OK.

- Dad's not well.
- No.

The... The business decisions,
they're not cogent.

It's old man shit.

And, you know,
in some ways that's his call,

but, you know,
he pissed on my fucking floor.

What if that got out?
No one wants to say it,

but, uh. We can because...

basically we love him, but he's not OK.

What about he wakes up one night,

fuckin' calls Bezos,

and sells us out for a dollar?

- I just...
- Ken...

I'm thinking about what's best.

- I'm an old man.
- He's sick, Frank.

Do you think the real Logan
would want us to stand by

and watch while he throws it all away?

Talk more.

Attaboy.

Happy Thanksgiving, Mom.

Yeah, I know. Sorry.

Well, we'll see you Christmas.

Or New Year's?

Maybe. Maybe.

Uh, anyway, thanks for that.
Yeah. Thanks.

No, no, no, I... I know.

No, I understand, yeah.

OK, I love you too.

Bye. Bye. Bye-bye.

- Is there a problem?
- No, no, it's fine.

- What is it?
- No, it's nothing.

It's just my...
my lawyer was saying that...

You mean your mom says.

She's a highly respected attorney
in the Twin Cities, Shiv.

Sure. So what does your mom say?

She says that the pre-nup
is a little, uh, unconscionable.

- Uh-huh.
- That's a legal term.

I don't care.

Fine.

We can look it over.

OK.

Guess I just got Wamsgansed, huh?

What can I say? She's a hard-ass.

So, me, you, and Roman make three.

That's three more for a majority.

Ewan is never there, so he's not voting.

Even if he did, he hates Dad.

- What about Gerri?
- Gerri. Dreaming.

But I think, yeah,

if there's no Ewan,

- Fuck.
- looking at the numbers...

yeah.

You know, Asha,

Roman, Stewy, Lawrence.

If you could firm up
a couple of doubters, yeah.

It's... It's definitely possible.

Has any CEO ever survived a
successful vote of no confidence?

You know, honestly, I think he
might be looking for a way out.

So are we doing this?

Don't ask me. He's your father.

I'd be doing it for him.

Carla!

Where do we keep
the fucking coffee beans?

Didn't you give them the day off?

- Skeleton staff.
- Oh.

A plane still carries parachutes even
though it doesn't expect to go down.

Honey, if this plane goes down,
I don't even want a parachute.

I want to perish on impact.
I really would.

- Happy Thanksgiving!
- Happy Thanksgiving.

How are you?

- Good.
- Ta-da.

Thank you.

- Hi!
- Hi!

- Happy Thanksgiving.
- Happy Thanksgiving.

You look gorgeous.

- Have a drink.
- Yeah. Right.

Oh, excuse me.

Here we go.

- Ewan.
- Marcia.

- Happy Thanksgiving.
- Thank you.

I'm so happy you came.

He was asking for you
when he was in the hospital.

Yeah, well, must have been the drugs.

I know he's tough,

but you are a pair of noble
stags who cannot stop fighting.

Greg, thank you for driving him down.

Oh, absolute... Well, are you kiddin'?

It was nice to spend some
quality hours with you, Gramps.

And how, may I ask,
is Uncle Logan doing?

- You know, still down.
- Yeah?

But Ewan, together, we cheer him, right?

It's not up to me. Where's the bathroom?

Oh, my God. That is so strong.

Mm-hmm.
- It is?

Oh, yeah. I don't smoke schwag.

You're gonna get really high.

Oh, man.

No... No.

Aw, shit.

"The Biggest Turkey." Look at this shit.

Now they're saying it's gonna set a
record for Thanksgiving box office.

Record? That's... that's great, right?

I mean, that's ours.

"The Biggest Turkey in the World"...
it's not a good film, Greg.

When he was at the studio
he tried to stop it,

but he got overruled by the jerkies.

Oh. Well, although,

it has made Roman
and everyone more money.

That's not the point, Greg.

No. No. Of course not.

There you are!

I need more booze.

Hey. Thanks.

- How was the trip?
- Good, man.

I hear Grandpa Ewan's quite a character.

Yeah. It was all right.

I mean, I eventually found an economics
podcast he liked to shout at.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

So listen, I actually need you

to go to the office today, is that cool?

Can I go tomorrow? 'Cause I
just drove down from Canada...

- It has to be today.
- Yeah.

No one will be there, so...

- I know, I know. Exactly.
- Yeah.

Greg. You and I have had our bumps...

Big-time.

Greg.

But really,

I just want you to trust me.

Yeah.

And I want to be able to trust you.

What do you want me to do?

Has nothing to do with me, and...

we never even had this conversation.

I'm gonna need more details, man,

- because I'm...
- All you have to...

Listen to me. All you have
to do is go to the office,

sign out some boxes,
do a little bit of shredding,

- meet some lovely guys...
- What?

- Is this the thing?
- Greg? Yeah.

Don't make it a big deal, Greg.

Not a big deal, Greg.

A chimp could do it.

Little chimpanzee.

- Hi.
- Connor.

- Happy Thanksgiving.
- Thank you.

- This is...
- Yes. Willa.

I heard you were coming,
but I didn't believe it.

Happy Thanksgiving.

I hear this is Logan's favorite.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

More. Excuse me.

Gerri.

Right over here.

- Happy Thanksgiving.
- Thank you.

Oh! Arnaud Lahrer.
J'adore! Merci beaucoup.

He brought her to Thanksgiving?

Do you think she charges
overtime for holidays?

It's not cool.
Like, one day that's a story.

Oh, no.

- You know that.
- I know.

Why'd they bring cranberry sauce too?

Oh, yeah, forget it.
You can't get him anything.

Last Christmas
I thought I'd had an idea,

new General MacArthur bio?

He got, like, seven copies.

Can I have some canap�s?

Good luck.

Yeah.

What the fuck is Ewan doing here?

That is the question.

That would fuck your numbers.

Whose idea was it?

Marcia's.

I think.

Your dad's...

suddenly all about changing the trust,

she invites me and Gerri
to Thanksgiving...

And lures Uncle Sasquatch out of hiding.

Gotta tip your chapeau to that shit.

Uncle Ewan.

It's good to see you.

It's been too long.

Hmm. Likewise.

So, um, where is he?

Uh, he's resting, I guess.

I drove 500 miles,
and he can't come downstairs?

I guess he's still pretty sick. So...

I mean, he's up and about, but, uh...

he's... he's not really
quite his old self.

He's actually...

No, I shouldn't say it.

He's actually acting kind of strange.

Like inviting me to Thanksgiving.

Exactly.

So, how's it goin'?

So sorry to hear about your woman, Shiv.

- You mean Joyce?
- Mm-hmm.

No, she won, Grace. She's a US senator.

No, I don't think so, because I...

I'm pretty sure.

I was there.

I mean, I was up for 72 hours.

It was kind of a big deal for me.

I've been asked to be senior advisor.

Oh, well, congratulations.

Thanks.

- No.
- You did a great job

because she was really quite unlikeable.

It's true.

I never liked her.

Why is that?

I guess she's kind of, you know,

she's kind of... kind of phony?

Kind of scary?

She wanted to take all my lovely money.

Right. So too fake and too real.

I guess she just comes off
as a kind of a... bitch.

But, like, you must get that a lot.

Yeah. You know, not usually from family,

at Thanksgiving.

- Amir.
- Maman.

- Finalement.
- Veillez excuser mon retard.

Je suis content que tu sois l�.

- Who's that?
- I think it's Marcia's son.

- And who's that?
- With Connor?

That is his whore.

The woman talking about theater?

Does he know?

Of course. He pays her to suck his cock.

No. No way.

I actually introduced them
a few years ago

when she on that hot

party-girl-who-wouldn't-look-
twice-at-you/hooker borderline.

She's cute. I mean, pretty.

- Here she... Here she comes.
- OK, soldier, ready?

Just gettin' the deets.

- Copy.
- Hi.

- Happy Thanksgiving.
- Happy thanksgiving.

This is my cousin Greg.

He is very excited to meet you.

Excuse me.

- H-Hi.
- Hi.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Yeah.

Yes.

I'm sorry, did I
interrupt something, or...

No, no, uh, no. We were just...

We weren't talking about anything,

we were talking about, uh, theater.

Oh! Do you like theater?

No. No, not... Not... Not really.

I mean, I haven't seen a lot, but
of the stuff I've seen, not really.

OK. We don't have to talk about theater.

- No, good.
- OK.

- Oh, well, here's a question.
- Hmm?

Uh.... would you rather be trapped
in a swimming pool with a shark

or in a cage with a tiger?

Um... maybe a swimming pool
with a shark. And you?

- Yeah. Same.
- Right?

Like, yeah, totally.

'Cause you can punch a shark
right in the nose...

Come on, Kemo Sabe. Come on.

- Now?
- Now. Come on.

Bye.

Hey, man. Hey.

Great handshake. Firm.
Handshake buddies.

OK, you. OK.

These are the file numbers,
and this is the room number.

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- Good?

- Mm-hmm.
- OK.

I hate the jokes, I hate the atmosphere,

and I've been thinking,
and I have an idea.

You're such a great person...

such a great... writer/producer,

I want to help you with your career.

And the financial aspect
of this isn't even a concern.

I can fund your work. And then...

- OK, how do you mean?
- I mean...

I'd like us...

to be kind of...

exclusive?

Uh, that way you could stop...

hanging out with other people

and you'd have more free time.

For the theater.

What do you think?

I mean, it's obviously intriguing.

If you wanted, you could
live with me in New Mexico...

- No.
- Of course, I mean,

you know, it's only
like a four-hour flight...

I need to be in the city for my work.

Well, that can work too.

- We can discuss the details.
- Yeah.

It's just so great
that you're open to this...

uh, this.... this opportunity...

- for progression.
- Yeah.

It's intriguing. Isn't it?

Slap my face.

- Slap you?
- Yeah, slap my face.

Ooh, you're the best girlfriend
in the world.

Give me a kiss, give me a kiss.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Thank you. Happy Thanksgiving.

Oh, thank you.

You OK?

Yeah. Yeah.

Hey.

Look who's here.

Well... Ewan.

Logan.

How was the journey?

Incredibly long.

You look terrible.

Haggard.

Thank you.

Yes...

I have been...

incredibly unwell.

- Hmm.
- All right, everyone.

Food is ready.

Please.

What's up?

Uh, these are the boxes I need.

OK. Pass?

And you, presume...

presumably, you keep that,

like, that record of who got what, when?

- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.

Where does that r...
that, like, record go?

It goes in this book.

Cool. Great.

Who cares, right?

Uh, yeah, I was just asking 'cause...

just in terms of like
sharing it with third parties,

I like to keep...
keep my data pretty tight.

Thanks, ma... Thanks, man.

Again, welcome, everybody.

Please go ahead.

We're eating family-style.

Oh, family style. What,
almost like we're a family.

OK.

All right.

Cross intersection.

Serve yourself.

- Thank you.
- Is that what families do?

- No. No.
- Yeah.

OK, Pa. Nicely done.

Yeah.

So, Ewan...

how's the ranch?

Why don't you come up sometime?
See for yourself.

Thank you, Ewan. What a kind invitation.

Hi! Hi. Sorry we're late.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Hey.

Hi. Happy Thanksgiving. Sorry,
we're on the Turkey Trail.

- You're late.
- Hi.

- Hey.
- Where's Iverson?

He's... He's... He's, um...

He's just in the other room.

He's... He's just having a moment.

- Sorry, guys.
- Mmm.

- I'll go sit with him.
- No, it's fine. I will.

Don't go there! Hey!

Get him in here.

He has to do as he's told.

He just needs some
time, because transitions

- are difficult.
- Maybe we should just...

Oh. Transitions are difficult.

Are you kidding me?

Did you know that
transitions were difficult?

I did know that
transitions were difficult.

Cheers, everybody!

Did you have transition difficulties?

Cheers.

Why are you calling me? Do not call me.
Is there a problem?

Don't tell me anything. Your
phone shouldn't even be on.

I signed at the depository
for the document crates,

and, uh, I'm in the room,
Tom, is that OK?

- Well, you know what to do.
- But is it OK? Because...

this feels like a Watergate
sort of scenario,

and I never studied that specifically,

but I feel like, um, I'm correct
in saying they all got fucked.

Of course it's OK, Greg!

It's OK. It's a job.

Shooting bolts
into cows' heads is a job,

but it's not how I want
to spend my Thanksgiving.

Ya know?

Hello?

Man...

your dad.

Fuck off.

Yeah, I know.

I guess he had it pretty rough.

Different generation.

OK, you know what?
You go back in. I got this.

- I'm sure it's my fault anyway.
- I wasn't saying that, Rava.

I was just s...

I was just saying maybe he would like
to feel where the line is sometimes.

- Wow.
- Come on. Guys?

Your food will get cold.

- Got it.
- Coming.

? This saves the day ?

? This saves the day,
the other goes away ?

? This saves the day,
the other goes away ?

? This saves the day,
the other goes away ?

? Saves the day, the other goes away ?

? Saves the day, the other goes away ?

? Greg is choppin' it up ?

? Greg is choppin' it up,
Greg is choppin' it up ?

? This saves the day ?

? The other goes away ?

? This saves the day ?

And are they expensive?

Varies.

This. Hm, here.

This is a Victoria Cross.

Rome, you should do something like this.
It's nice to have a hobby.

- I got a hobby.
- Killing hobos

isn't a hobby.

Pretty.

And this...

is a World War I 16th Infantry
Canadian medal.

- Wow.
- Of course,

the Assyrians wore medals
before the Romans.

But this... is Roman.

And, excuse my ignorance, but
did you win any of these?

Of course not.

He never served.

- Is it OK if I...
- Oh!

- Maybe don't touch.
- OK.

This one did cost rather a lot.

Not as much as it
cost the man who won it.

I collect 'em... out of respect.

Sure you do.

You know, 50 years ago

he volunteered for a war just
to impress the town slut.

And now, no one... no one...
ever hears the end of it.

I thought Canadians
only fought on the ice.

30,000 Canadians fought
communism in Vietnam.

Oh, yeah,

thank you, thank you, thank you.

What do you want, huh? A medal?

- To keep us free.
- What?

Viet Cong come up your
drainpipe in Ottawa, did they?

Free to spew your poison.

Carnival barker for all the
wars we really didn't need.

Did you even fire a gun?

Didn't you end up doing KP duty?

Oh, please, come on.

They should send you the bodies.

Bear any burden. Stir any gumbo.

I don't have any of your
channels at my house.

Oh, I see them...

at the place I go for noodles.

They have 'em on.

And I'm embarrassed.

Bullshit.

You don't have 'em
because you're bitter.

Global warming?

Climate change?

The blood of millions on your hands?

To get your fuckin' nut,
Captain Cautious.

Everything isn't about money, Logan.

- Oh...
- Have you ever heard of ethics?

Uh-huh. You ever heard
of a begging letter?

One miserable letter.

I got a thousand acres...
you got the rest of the world.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Big man. Big brother.

Wouldn't eat a fuckin' blueberry
until it had been weighed

and written in the ledger,
little Miss Prim!

You don't know who I am.

And you are not
the arbiter of the truth.

Oh, yeah, yeah, heard it all before.

I was told that
you were ready to apologize.

For what?!

You're all liars.

You lied to me.

And you humiliated me.

But other than that,
you had a nice time?

- Go fuck yourself.
- Whoa.

I don't understand why we don't
invite him every year.

Your idea.

How's it going?

That's... a bunch of corporate materials...
headin' for an extra shreddin'.

That's it.

All right, thank you. Thank you.

Not supposed to talk, I guess.

- Hey.
- I knew this was a mistake.

- I'm going home.
- Can we talk?

Uncle Ewan?

There's nothing to talk about it.

He's a liar.

He thinks he's telling the truth.

- It's goddamn infuriating.
- Yup. Yup.

The only thing I ever got from
him was a mouthful of garbage.

He's... He's tough. He is tough.

You'd have thought nearly
dying might have changed him.

Well, I think he has changed.

I don't think he's himself
at the moment.

Like he's a lot sicker
than he's letting on.

- Uh-huh.
- He's erratic,

he's making bad decisions...

if he's not careful, he's
gonna destroy the company.

And you have a plan?

Well, I'm considering.

OK, look.

I never got a chance to know you,

but I always liked you. OK?

I'm gonna say something now.

I'm putting my prick
on the third rail here,

but at the next board meeting,

there's going to be
a vote of no confidence.

So...

I mean, do you have confidence in him?

My brother's an ex-Scot...

an ex-Canadian, an ex-human being.

But he's still my brother.

Uncle Ewan, w-where are you...

OK. No, I... I get that.

So do you think it's gonna be OK?

Oh, yeah, this was in no way
our worst Thanksgiving.

So apparently, um, your
lawyer's talking to my lawyer.

- You mean your mom.
- Yeah.

She's got all excited about tiered share
option tie-ins for my sperm count,

and I'm goin', "No, no, no."

But she did notice that re: infidelities,
there's no clause for that.

Yeah. We don't need to do that.

No. 'Cause that's not gonna happen.

Right. And if it does,
we're both grown-ups.

- So...
- Yes.

Meaning?

Well, I mean,

nothing's gonna happen,

but, you know, things happen
with travel, so...

Yeah, I... I don't travel that much.

Yeah, but... the point is, shit happens.

- Does shit happen?
- No. No, not to us.

No, but, yes, shit happens,

that's why we have the
expression "shit happens."

- Yeah.
- Tom...

I have not cheated on you.
Because I love you.

OK. Thanks.

I believe her.

Do you believe her?

Although she does coach
professional liars for a living,

so you do have to factor that in.

I just... I just wanna say

that, um...

I... I would really appreciate it if...

You know, I was only...

kicking some notions around,

- and nothing is set, so...
- Excuse me.

I really don't think we
have to make a whole...

I... I just want what's best for him.

Uh-huh. Of course.

The good son.

It's brilliant.

I, uh... forgot my stick.

We're leaving.

- Wh-What?
- Come on, Greg.

It's just, I only just got here again,

and I'm...

Tomorrow's... I'm kinda busy,

like, I have a lot... stuff...
work... to do here.

Like, I'm pretty important here.

I'm starving, too. Like...

How am I supposed to get home?

Uber.

We can call one of our guys.
That's no problem.

OK. Great. Yeah.

This whole family is a nest of vipers.

They'll wrap themselves around you

and they'll suffocate you.

I'm pretty sure...

I'm pretty sure that's boa constrictors.

OK, you.

Enough. Get in there.

- Now!
- Logan. We...

Iverson.

See?

Thank you. Thank you for the support.

That's great.

Don't even.

What are you doing? Who put this on?

Gracie.

And why are you laughing?

The big turkey
just ate the family's corn.

And you think
that would actually happen?

A turkey of that magnitude
in the backyard,

and the parents don't notice?
How is that possible?

Exactly.

You've gotta hide!

Grace, can I...

OK. Excuse me. I'll be back.

Well, enjoy your movie, kids.

He probably just got in... ? troub-le ?

- Oh, my God.
- What the fuck, Grace?

It was just there, and I...
It's actually pretty good.

Oh, it's good? It is? Really? Oh,
I didn't know that. It's good.

- Is it really? It's good?
- Yeah.

OK, well, then clearly we have
irreconcilable differences,

so we need to have a talk.

- What talk?
- What talk?

I'm not in a place right now

where I can blah, it's not you,

it's blah, I'll always care for blah,

please leave those pics
of my cock and blahs,

blah blah blah blah blah.
That fuckin' talk.

Oh, OK, you wanna talk about how we
only fuck once every six months?

- Fuck you. You got plenty.
- You don't wanna talk about that?

That's not fun to talk about?

Just did. Shut up. Fuck you.

- Watch your movie.
- Fuck you.

Hey. All good?

- All done.
- I don't wanna know,

and don't ever tell me,

but well done.

Welcome to the family.

OK, everyone.

Ready for pie?

- Yum.
- Please.

And if by some chance

that bear pushes me off the roof,

I'm gonna shoot that fuckin' dog.

- So you shot it?
- What?

- So you shot it?
- It was a joke.

- It's not an anecdote.
- You missed the beginning.

I didn't hear the first part, yeah.

- You didn't need to.
- Nobody did.

Can we do what my family does
at Thanksgiving?

Fuck the turkey?

Go to other people's dinners.

No, no.

We go around, we go around
the table and we each say

what we're thankful for.

- Blecch.
- Very well,

I'll go first.

I'm thankful to have
the family all together.

Nice.

I'm thankful that I was not born
a Siamese twin.

I'm also thankful for that,

but I'm also thankful for the food.

Yeah, me too. The food. Amazing.

You can't piggy-back on my thanks.
Have your own.

I'm feeling thankful that Logan's better.
Feel... Yeah.

Well, I think we're all
thankful for that.

I think it goes without saying.

But... Yeah, I am. Really.

- You.
- Me?

You.

Um, I'm grateful
I'm not in a refugee camp.

I guess this is better than that.

I think you should be thankful for that.

And so say all of us.
That was a good one.

- Can I say?
- Go ahead.

I'm thankful for the opportunity
to head up Animation in Europe,

and I hope to turn around
an underperforming division.

Well, I'm thankful that
you told us about that, then.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

I'm thankful to have Willa here.

I'm thankful to be made
to feel so... welcome.

And I'm thankful that I
am gonna be marrying

into one of the most vital
and interesting and...

kind and loving families in the world.

Are you not gonna
be marrying Shiv anymore?

Since we're talking about families,

I have a little announcement. Uh...

Willa and I are pleased
to announce that I've asked her,

and she's agreed that we are to...

- take the next steps.
- Mm-hmm.

What? Y-Youre not getting, uh...?

No. We're...

goin' steady.

- Oh.
- Jesus Christ.

You're going steady? What are you, nine?

- What?
- Happy for you, man.

- Thanks.
- Very nice, Connor.

Thank you.

Grace?

Me? OK. Um...

I'm thankful for all the love

Roman has shown to me,

and for never being selfish
or self-centered

or egocentric or neurotic or unfaithful.

You're welcome.

OK. A game?

Shall we play a game?

- Yeah.
- Let's gather the kids.

OK, come on, kiddies.

What game?

You didn't want to
tell us about, uh, Amir?

- What?
- Shall we?

What should we say about Amir?

He wants to know about Amir.
What should we say?

Congratulations on your next steps.

- Oh, thank you.
- I'm interested to know

what "next steps" actually means.

Is there a greeting card
I can buy that says...

No, your good wishes
are all that's necessary.

Is there a ceremony or is it
more a financial arrangement?

Hey, listen. At least I'm only getting
fucked by one member of this family, yeah?

OK, your turn.

I went to the market and bought a pony,

a big fat hen, and this.

OK. I went to the market
and bought a new hat,

a pony, a big fat hen, and this.

Uh, I went to the market
and I bought a crack pipe...

- That's terrible.
- No?

All right, I went to the market
and I bought a gimp suit...

- Come on!
- Oh, my God.

I bought a potato, a new hat,

a pony, a big fat hen, and this.

- Your turn.
- Oh.

All right. Come on, Dad,
what's it gonna be?

A hot dog, or China? Immortality?

The soul of the nation?

I went to market and I bought...

Yeah, OK.

I went to market

and I bought...

local TV.

- Can he buy that?
- Yeah,

Dad can buy whatever he wants.

- So? Local TV and...?
- What?

The clock's tickin'. Time's runnin' out.

Local TV and what did I say?

- Um...
- A potato.

- Hey! That is cheating.
- No, come on.

No hints. Come on, Dad. You got this.

- Uh...
- Come on, we can skip a turn.

Marcia, you go.

- No, he...
- You lost, Grandpa.

You lose.

You lose.

Let go!

- Are you all right?
- What the fuck are you doing?!

- Are you OK?
- Are you all right?

I hardly touched him. It's just shock.

- Come on, it's OK.
- Relax, son, relax.

Hey, take your hands off him, OK?!

- Kendall!
- What the fuck is wrong with you?!

It's OK. It's OK.

Hey.

Did he hurt you?

Let me see.

You're fine. Listen to me. You're OK.

- Yeah?
- I cannot believe it.

Yeah.

It's OK.

It's OK.

It's OK, it's OK.

- You're OK?
- Yeah, I'm good.

Hey.

Hey, Gerri.

So what was Ewan talking about
earlier, Ken?

Ewan? Uh...

I don't know.

I mean, everyone's pretty upset.

I wouldn't take any notice.

Why was he so mad at you?

At me? Uh, I don't know.

Just the usual family hatred you get
at Thanksgiving. You know how it is.

I love your dad.

Personally, I will
always be there for him.

- He's a great man.
- Yeah, well... you're here.

I work for Waystar, not Logan Roy.

Are you thinking of moving against him?

Because if you are...

I've spoken to Frank,

and I've seen all I need to see.

Good night.

Let's take this off.

Here. Give me your arm.

Great.

All right.

Right.

Your shoe.

I went to the market...

and I bought a potato...

a new hat,

a pony,

a big fat hen,

and this.

That's right, Logan.

That's great.

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- www.addic7ed.com -