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1
00:00:02,048 --> 00:00:05,218
What's poppin', people?
Welcome to "The Marlon Way."
2
00:00:05,219 --> 00:00:07,203
You know what I learned
at a really young age?
3
00:00:07,204 --> 00:00:09,305
Never disappoint a sister,
4
00:00:09,306 --> 00:00:12,408
especially when that sister
is your sister.
5
00:00:12,409 --> 00:00:14,800
For example, when my sisters found out
6
00:00:14,801 --> 00:00:17,536
you can no longer stream
"Hanging with Mr. Cooper,"
7
00:00:17,537 --> 00:00:19,771
lord, mm...
8
00:00:19,772 --> 00:00:21,539
- Why!
- Everything they do!
9
00:00:21,540 --> 00:00:23,074
- Who we gonna hang with now?
- Everything they do!
10
00:00:23,075 --> 00:00:24,642
- Lord, this is a crime.
- Huh?
11
00:00:24,643 --> 00:00:26,711
Mark Curry ain't never hurt nobody.
12
00:00:26,712 --> 00:00:28,980
Girl, you can get 'em on YouTube.
13
00:00:28,981 --> 00:00:31,582
Oh. What's your password?
14
00:00:31,583 --> 00:00:32,950
Get a damn job.
15
00:00:32,951 --> 00:00:34,719
Is that all caps?
16
00:00:40,987 --> 00:00:44,947
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
17
00:00:47,565 --> 00:00:50,267
I can't believe
we went all over town to get
18
00:00:50,268 --> 00:00:52,002
snacks for Marlon's sisters.
19
00:00:52,003 --> 00:00:55,138
How's Whole Foods gonna have
ten types of flaxseed
20
00:00:55,139 --> 00:00:57,207
but no Flamin' Hots?
21
00:00:57,208 --> 00:00:59,609
You cursed them out
in your comment card.
22
00:00:59,610 --> 00:01:02,212
I think they got the message.
23
00:01:02,213 --> 00:01:04,881
And why aren't they staying
at Marlon's house anyway?
24
00:01:04,882 --> 00:01:06,716
Because his place is too small.
25
00:01:06,717 --> 00:01:09,486
Plus, divorced or not, I still
consider them my sisters.
26
00:01:09,487 --> 00:01:10,720
Oh, well, don't get me wrong.
27
00:01:10,721 --> 00:01:12,972
Lenora and Lovie are my girls.
28
00:01:12,973 --> 00:01:17,310
It's their big-head brother
I can't stand.
29
00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:18,411
Mm.
30
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,879
Why are you making it smell
31
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:23,815
like a men's dorm room
at a black college?
32
00:01:23,816 --> 00:01:28,387
'Cause I want you
to feel right at home.
33
00:01:28,388 --> 00:01:29,855
That's Cool Water cologne.
34
00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:31,890
His sisters buy it for him
every Christmas.
35
00:01:31,891 --> 00:01:33,859
Yes, and I want them
to think I'm wearing it,
36
00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:35,527
even though I'm not wearing it.
37
00:01:35,528 --> 00:01:39,097
Kind of like you do
with your IUD in Richmond.
38
00:01:39,098 --> 00:01:41,266
- Uh, Marlon?
- Yeah?
39
00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:43,535
Is that our wedding photo?
40
00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:46,104
Oh, would you look at that?
I think Zack put that there.
41
00:01:46,105 --> 00:01:47,939
He must have found it in the garage.
42
00:01:47,940 --> 00:01:50,575
He's a nostalgic little bastard.
43
00:01:50,576 --> 00:01:53,011
But, Dad, you're the one
who told me to grab the...
44
00:01:53,012 --> 00:01:55,647
Boy, if you don't
get your behind upstairs.
45
00:01:55,648 --> 00:01:59,551
I'ma make you stop wearing
your sister's hand-me-downs.
46
00:01:59,552 --> 00:02:01,019
Uh, so, Ash, uh,
47
00:02:01,020 --> 00:02:03,261
you know, I was thinking about
this weekend.
48
00:02:03,262 --> 00:02:05,230
You know, maybe I'll crash here,
49
00:02:05,231 --> 00:02:06,465
you know, avoid traffic,
50
00:02:06,466 --> 00:02:09,901
maximize the time with my sisters.
51
00:02:09,902 --> 00:02:12,838
Okay. Hold up.
52
00:02:12,839 --> 00:02:15,307
The wedding photo, the funky cologne,
53
00:02:15,308 --> 00:02:17,743
and now you want to crash here?
54
00:02:17,744 --> 00:02:19,936
Marlon, you still haven't
told your sisters
55
00:02:19,937 --> 00:02:21,326
about our divorce, have you?
56
00:02:21,327 --> 00:02:23,497
What? Wh... really?
57
00:02:23,498 --> 00:02:25,633
Oh, wow! Really?
58
00:02:25,634 --> 00:02:26,684
Oh, really?
59
00:02:26,685 --> 00:02:27,701
Like I was just gonna
60
00:02:27,702 --> 00:02:28,990
move back in here,
61
00:02:28,991 --> 00:02:30,448
pretend we're still married,
62
00:02:30,449 --> 00:02:31,431
and hope you don't notice?
63
00:02:31,432 --> 00:02:32,483
Yeah...
64
00:02:32,484 --> 00:02:36,144
Where should I put your stuff?
65
00:02:36,145 --> 00:02:37,806
Ashley's closet.
66
00:02:37,807 --> 00:02:39,773
So what was you talking about?
67
00:02:39,774 --> 00:02:42,656
You know what?
Of course you haven't told them.
68
00:02:42,657 --> 00:02:45,538
Marlon, you've spent your entire life
69
00:02:45,539 --> 00:02:46,860
bending over backwards
70
00:02:46,861 --> 00:02:48,658
trying not to disappoint your sisters.
71
00:02:48,659 --> 00:02:50,048
Ashley, if I could
bend over backwards,
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00:02:50,049 --> 00:02:53,303
girl, I wouldn't leave my room.
73
00:02:53,304 --> 00:02:55,507
Marlon, it's true!
74
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:57,440
I had to postpone my C-section,
75
00:02:57,441 --> 00:03:01,137
because Lovie wanted Marley
to share the same birthday
76
00:03:01,138 --> 00:03:03,374
as Keith Sweat.
77
00:03:03,375 --> 00:03:04,663
It could have been worse.
78
00:03:04,664 --> 00:03:05,985
It could have been Bobby Brown's.
79
00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:08,461
Okay, y'all need to wrap this up.
80
00:03:08,462 --> 00:03:09,953
I do not want Miss Lenora
81
00:03:09,954 --> 00:03:11,614
picking up all this negative energy
82
00:03:11,615 --> 00:03:13,073
when I'm getting my psychic reading.
83
00:03:13,074 --> 00:03:15,412
She's gonna tell me
what my next step is.
84
00:03:15,413 --> 00:03:17,989
Hopefully it's to the mall,
so you can get a new outfit.
85
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:19,549
This is cute.
I don't care what you say.
86
00:03:19,550 --> 00:03:21,143
Oh, look at your old ass
trying to look young,
87
00:03:21,144 --> 00:03:22,804
look like you shop at Forever 41.
88
00:03:22,805 --> 00:03:24,398
- Go on.
- No! That's...
89
00:03:24,399 --> 00:03:25,551
Okay! Stop!
90
00:03:25,552 --> 00:03:26,737
- One more time!
- Ignore him!
91
00:03:26,738 --> 00:03:28,297
- One more time.
- Ignore him.
92
00:03:28,298 --> 00:03:30,807
Ashley, look, my sisters
pretty much raised me,
93
00:03:30,808 --> 00:03:32,503
and you've never seen them upset.
94
00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:34,164
Like, they get mad mad.
95
00:03:34,165 --> 00:03:36,131
It's kind of like telling the Beyhive
96
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:38,708
that Beyonce's "Lemonade"
was just a'ight.
97
00:03:40,133 --> 00:03:42,539
Blasphemy.
98
00:03:42,540 --> 00:03:44,167
Exactly.
99
00:03:44,168 --> 00:03:45,268
Come on, Ash.
100
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,202
My sisters' favorite thing
about me is you.
101
00:03:48,203 --> 00:03:50,305
And if they find out that
me and you aren't together,
102
00:03:50,306 --> 00:03:53,153
they gonna flip they wigs
and they weaves.
103
00:03:53,154 --> 00:03:55,967
Marlon, we cannot spend
the rest of our lives
104
00:03:55,968 --> 00:03:57,833
pretending we're happily married.
105
00:03:57,834 --> 00:04:01,800
Why not? My parents did it.
106
00:04:01,801 --> 00:04:03,258
Come on, Ashley. Listen.
107
00:04:03,259 --> 00:04:05,056
Just do this for me
for two days, okay?
108
00:04:05,057 --> 00:04:06,683
Until they go back to New York.
109
00:04:06,684 --> 00:04:08,040
And then when they leave,
I'll call them
110
00:04:08,041 --> 00:04:10,006
and I'll tell them, over the phone,
111
00:04:10,007 --> 00:04:14,042
'cause you can't dropkick
a brother over the phone.
112
00:04:14,043 --> 00:04:16,992
Marlon, we cannot
do this to our children.
113
00:04:16,993 --> 00:04:18,314
Oh, girl, what you talking about?
114
00:04:18,315 --> 00:04:19,535
Kids.
115
00:04:19,536 --> 00:04:20,925
When your aunties get here,
116
00:04:20,926 --> 00:04:22,587
me and your mama
gonna pretend we're married
117
00:04:22,588 --> 00:04:24,588
And when they leave,
I'ma give you $20.
118
00:04:24,589 --> 00:04:27,911
I love money.
119
00:04:27,912 --> 00:04:29,335
See, Ash? They cool with it.
120
00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:30,725
You the only one tripping.
121
00:04:30,726 --> 00:04:33,540
I cannot do this, Marlon. I'm sorry.
122
00:04:35,033 --> 00:04:36,829
? New York in the house! ?
123
00:04:36,830 --> 00:04:39,949
? New York in the house!
124
00:04:39,950 --> 00:04:42,661
- Oh!
- Aww, my baby!
125
00:04:42,662 --> 00:04:45,611
Whoo! Look at you!
126
00:04:48,494 --> 00:04:50,088
Look at you two.
127
00:04:50,089 --> 00:04:53,784
You are like the Michelle and
Barack of the family.
128
00:04:53,785 --> 00:04:57,242
Without the arms or the power.
129
00:04:58,667 --> 00:05:00,362
Okay, guys, guys, hey.
130
00:05:00,363 --> 00:05:03,787
I'd hate to break up
all this black love,
131
00:05:03,788 --> 00:05:05,109
but Ashley got something
she want to tell you,
132
00:05:05,110 --> 00:05:07,956
and I don't think
you're gonna like it.
133
00:05:10,570 --> 00:05:12,908
- Go on, Ash, tell them.
- Uh...
134
00:05:12,909 --> 00:05:15,520
Uh, you ain't gonna like it,
135
00:05:15,521 --> 00:05:16,537
you gonna love it!
136
00:05:16,538 --> 00:05:18,910
We got Flamin' Hots!
137
00:05:18,911 --> 00:05:21,793
? Flamin' Hots in the house! ?
138
00:05:21,794 --> 00:05:24,268
? Flamin' Hots in the house
139
00:05:24,269 --> 00:05:26,541
? Flamin' Hots in the house ?
140
00:05:26,542 --> 00:05:29,219
You got shook, didn't you, woman?
141
00:05:29,220 --> 00:05:30,237
It was the lean.
142
00:05:30,238 --> 00:05:31,051
I've seen 'em beat up
143
00:05:31,052 --> 00:05:32,949
many a men with that lean.
144
00:05:32,950 --> 00:05:34,747
You did the right thing.
145
00:05:34,748 --> 00:05:37,188
I'm doing this for you, okay?
146
00:05:37,189 --> 00:05:38,951
We'll pretend we're married
for two days,
147
00:05:38,952 --> 00:05:40,375
and then you're gonna tell 'em.
148
00:05:40,376 --> 00:05:42,105
- Agreed.
- Agreed.
149
00:05:42,106 --> 00:05:43,868
- Come on.
- All right.
150
00:05:43,869 --> 00:05:46,107
- Now can I bite your booty?
- No!
151
00:05:52,079 --> 00:05:53,895
The universe is telling me
152
00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:55,930
you've been deprived lately.
153
00:05:55,931 --> 00:05:59,491
Oh, well the universe
ain't never lied.
154
00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:02,000
It's been about four months
since I had me some good...
155
00:06:02,001 --> 00:06:03,763
I'm seeing a big purchase.
156
00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:06,136
Oh, okay, that too.
157
00:06:06,137 --> 00:06:07,966
Well, there is a pair of shoes
I've been wanting,
158
00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:10,069
but they're way out of my budget.
159
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:13,256
Oh, not when the universe is paying.
160
00:06:13,257 --> 00:06:16,444
How you gonna step into
your greatness barefoot?
161
00:06:16,445 --> 00:06:17,545
Ooh.
162
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,751
Well, the universe
ain't got to tell me twice.
163
00:06:20,752 --> 00:06:24,786
I'm about to get me a pair
of them bloody shoes.
164
00:06:24,787 --> 00:06:26,108
You know, Lovie,
165
00:06:26,109 --> 00:06:28,855
I look forward to
this weekend every year
166
00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:30,788
just for your mac and cheese.
167
00:06:30,789 --> 00:06:32,280
I'll tell you what.
168
00:06:32,281 --> 00:06:35,196
If your kids and
my mac and cheese was drowning,
169
00:06:35,197 --> 00:06:37,163
I hate to tell you who he'd save.
170
00:06:38,486 --> 00:06:42,011
Yeah. I'd be like, "Bye, kids!"
171
00:06:43,539 --> 00:06:45,504
When y'all gonna start
working on baby number three?
172
00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:48,929
Girl... girl, when are we not
working on baby number three?
173
00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:50,421
Right?
174
00:06:50,422 --> 00:06:52,524
You know, I be throwing
them boys at them eggs,
175
00:06:52,525 --> 00:06:56,593
but, uh, you know,
them eggs is old, girl.
176
00:06:59,205 --> 00:07:01,408
Well, your boys are
older than my eggs,
177
00:07:01,409 --> 00:07:03,985
so maybe that's the problem.
178
00:07:03,986 --> 00:07:07,239
Nah!
179
00:07:10,123 --> 00:07:11,954
- Lenora.
- Hmm?
180
00:07:11,955 --> 00:07:13,412
You're wasting your time.
181
00:07:13,413 --> 00:07:14,802
My beliefs are based
on empirical evidence.
182
00:07:14,803 --> 00:07:16,464
I give no credence
to psychic phenomenon.
183
00:07:16,465 --> 00:07:20,295
- I see a woman.
- Tell me more.
184
00:07:20,296 --> 00:07:23,314
She's strong. She's sexy.
185
00:07:23,315 --> 00:07:26,635
And your souls are destined to unite.
186
00:07:28,368 --> 00:07:30,808
What should I do?
187
00:07:30,809 --> 00:07:33,147
Take control.
188
00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:36,369
Let her feel what it's feeling.
189
00:07:36,370 --> 00:07:40,911
Get all up in that.
190
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:43,015
Come on, Lenora.
191
00:07:43,016 --> 00:07:44,575
- It's game time.
- Oh.
192
00:07:44,576 --> 00:07:46,745
That boy don't want
none of that old grizzly.
193
00:07:46,746 --> 00:07:49,865
Come on.
194
00:07:49,866 --> 00:07:52,103
So did you all ever book
that timeshare I gifted you?
195
00:07:52,104 --> 00:07:55,053
Now, you know you can
stay anywhere in the world.
196
00:07:55,054 --> 00:07:56,783
- Uh... yeah!
- The timeshare?
197
00:07:56,784 --> 00:07:59,122
- Uh-huh.
- Oh, the... the timeshare.
198
00:07:59,123 --> 00:08:00,648
- Yeah.
- I know, girl, I know...
199
00:08:00,649 --> 00:08:03,123
We... we went to the most romantic
place we could think of.
200
00:08:03,124 --> 00:08:04,378
- Right?
- Aww.
201
00:08:04,379 --> 00:08:06,481
Sookie sookie now. Where you going?
202
00:08:06,482 --> 00:08:10,075
- Cancun.
- Detroit.
203
00:08:10,076 --> 00:08:11,466
You... well, you know, uh,
204
00:08:11,467 --> 00:08:16,484
Detroit is the Cancun
of... of... Michigan.
205
00:08:20,384 --> 00:08:22,994
Detroit, Ashley?
206
00:08:22,995 --> 00:08:24,486
Detroit?
207
00:08:24,487 --> 00:08:26,690
Well, I'm sorry I'm not as good
208
00:08:26,691 --> 00:08:28,522
at hiding our divorce as you are.
209
00:08:28,523 --> 00:08:30,556
But you know what?
Now I know why you made us
210
00:08:30,557 --> 00:08:32,794
wear those matching
powder blue sweat suits
211
00:08:32,795 --> 00:08:34,829
to your aunt's birthday party.
212
00:08:34,830 --> 00:08:36,694
Girl, nothing says "happily married"
213
00:08:36,695 --> 00:08:38,763
more than powder blue sweat suits.
214
00:08:38,764 --> 00:08:41,950
Well, that and sleeping
with your iPhone facedown.
215
00:08:41,951 --> 00:08:44,562
Come on, now, scooch over.
You know this is my side.
216
00:08:44,563 --> 00:08:46,765
Boy, you are not sleeping in this bed.
217
00:08:46,766 --> 00:08:48,020
Oh, snap!
218
00:08:48,021 --> 00:08:49,885
Ooh!
219
00:08:49,886 --> 00:08:51,072
Oh, my bad.
220
00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:52,733
Both: Hey, hey!
221
00:08:52,734 --> 00:08:54,090
- Hi!
- Girl!
222
00:08:54,091 --> 00:08:57,244
Was our lovemaking too loud for you?
223
00:08:57,245 --> 00:09:00,838
You made love through the duvet?
224
00:09:00,839 --> 00:09:03,110
Oh, yeah, it cuts down on condoms.
225
00:09:03,111 --> 00:09:05,347
It's just...
226
00:09:05,348 --> 00:09:07,959
It's the new-new.
227
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,502
Mm-hmm, new-new.
228
00:09:10,503 --> 00:09:12,265
I'm prepping breakfast
for tomorrow morning.
229
00:09:12,266 --> 00:09:14,707
Have y'all seen my
bacon grease can from last year?
230
00:09:14,708 --> 00:09:18,301
Uh, I think I threw it out.
231
00:09:18,302 --> 00:09:22,167
We trying to cut back
on year-old bacon grease.
232
00:09:22,168 --> 00:09:23,896
And E.coli.
233
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,287
You know what? That's fine.
234
00:09:25,288 --> 00:09:27,423
I put some lard in my carry-on.
235
00:09:27,424 --> 00:09:29,084
So, y'all
236
00:09:29,085 --> 00:09:33,152
keep on doing whatever
the hell that is.
237
00:09:33,426 --> 00:09:35,493
I think she's onto us.
238
00:09:35,494 --> 00:09:36,850
We have to turn it up tomorrow.
239
00:09:36,851 --> 00:09:38,952
Okay, Marlon, get off me.
240
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,444
- Get up. Get up.
- Come on, girl.
241
00:09:40,445 --> 00:09:41,903
I'ma give you a little preview
242
00:09:41,904 --> 00:09:44,547
of what I was gonna
do to you in Detroit.
243
00:09:44,548 --> 00:09:45,768
Gonna do that gangster love.
244
00:09:45,769 --> 00:09:48,241
Pow-pow! Take it!
245
00:09:49,974 --> 00:09:52,076
All right, fine.
246
00:09:52,077 --> 00:09:54,890
- Where am I supposed to sleep?
- Right there.
247
00:09:54,891 --> 00:09:58,145
What am I, going coach?
248
00:09:58,146 --> 00:10:00,417
Ain't nobody gonna
be able to sleep like this.
249
00:10:00,418 --> 00:10:02,994
This is just ridiculous.
250
00:10:08,455 --> 00:10:10,384
Marlon.
251
00:10:15,536 --> 00:10:19,671
Yeah, let me know
when y'all want seconds.
252
00:10:20,326 --> 00:10:25,106
So.
253
00:10:25,107 --> 00:10:27,106
Yvette, I'm taking control.
254
00:10:27,107 --> 00:10:29,582
I'm letting you feel
what it's feeling.
255
00:10:29,583 --> 00:10:35,109
I'm about to get all up in that, girl.
256
00:10:35,110 --> 00:10:36,533
Zack, baby, would you
257
00:10:36,534 --> 00:10:38,669
get Yvette's pepper spray
out of her purse?
258
00:10:38,670 --> 00:10:40,670
Yvette, we're destined to be together.
259
00:10:40,671 --> 00:10:42,061
You can't fight destiny.
260
00:10:42,062 --> 00:10:43,790
I beat Destiny's ass
261
00:10:43,791 --> 00:10:48,164
in ninth grade when
she stole my leather jacket.
262
00:10:48,165 --> 00:10:50,233
Lenora said we should be together.
263
00:10:50,234 --> 00:10:51,386
And you said she's a psychic.
264
00:10:51,387 --> 00:10:52,844
And you said she wasn't.
265
00:10:52,845 --> 00:10:53,997
Well now I think she is.
266
00:10:53,998 --> 00:10:56,371
Well now I think she's not.
267
00:10:56,372 --> 00:10:58,405
Oh, my God, these shoes.
268
00:10:58,406 --> 00:11:02,067
Lenora and the universe got me
walking around in my mortgage.
269
00:11:02,068 --> 00:11:04,270
I gotta return these.
270
00:11:07,189 --> 00:11:09,256
Morning.
271
00:11:09,257 --> 00:11:11,223
All right, Rock Steady Crew,
272
00:11:11,224 --> 00:11:14,647
pop-lock your asses down on the couch.
273
00:11:14,648 --> 00:11:16,344
We need to talk.
274
00:11:16,345 --> 00:11:20,277
Y'all little sweat suits
ain't fooling nobody.
275
00:11:20,278 --> 00:11:22,176
I sensed a cosmic imbalance
276
00:11:22,177 --> 00:11:24,279
the moment I stepped foot
in this house.
277
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:25,771
Oh, girl, cosmic my ass.
278
00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:28,822
I saw that wack-ass
lovemaking last night.
279
00:11:28,823 --> 00:11:30,314
Wack? Girl.
280
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:32,722
Ash, let 'em know
how I be tearing it up.
281
00:11:32,723 --> 00:11:34,214
Marlon, it's over.
282
00:11:34,215 --> 00:11:36,689
We may as well just tell 'em.
283
00:11:36,690 --> 00:11:37,790
Marlon and I have...
284
00:11:38,352 --> 00:11:39,876
Have lost the spark in your marriage.
285
00:11:39,877 --> 00:11:41,165
Anyone could see it.
286
00:11:41,166 --> 00:11:43,064
Yeah, and if you don't fix it,
287
00:11:43,065 --> 00:11:44,523
it may lead to divorce.
288
00:11:44,524 --> 00:11:47,845
And that's not happening,
not on my watch.
289
00:11:47,846 --> 00:11:49,371
Oh, gosh!
290
00:11:49,372 --> 00:11:51,576
I don't want to live in a world
291
00:11:51,577 --> 00:11:54,424
where y'all two are divorced!
292
00:11:54,425 --> 00:11:56,289
You mean live in a world
293
00:11:56,290 --> 00:11:59,578
where I have sex
with random strangers?
294
00:11:59,579 --> 00:12:01,749
Lord, I don't want it!
295
00:12:01,750 --> 00:12:04,427
I don't want it.
296
00:12:04,428 --> 00:12:07,106
Okay, you two
go back up to your bedroom,
297
00:12:07,107 --> 00:12:09,717
and we're gonna bring you
a sexy double feature,
298
00:12:09,718 --> 00:12:12,226
"Love Jones" and "Jason's Lyrics."
299
00:12:12,227 --> 00:12:13,617
- Ooh.
- Yeah.
300
00:12:13,618 --> 00:12:15,821
And we're just getting started.
301
00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:19,178
We are gonna breathe life
back into this marriage.
302
00:12:19,179 --> 00:12:20,466
And by tonight,
303
00:12:20,467 --> 00:12:23,821
it's body rockin', knockin' the boots.
304
00:12:25,757 --> 00:12:29,690
Uh. Uh. Mm.
305
00:12:29,691 --> 00:12:31,114
I'm more of a "windows to the wall
306
00:12:31,115 --> 00:12:34,876
- till the sweat drops down my... "
- Marlon!
307
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:39,980
What you doing?
308
00:12:40,678 --> 00:12:42,575
Girl, if you can't
get messy in the kitchen,
309
00:12:46,544 --> 00:12:50,748
I don't want to
get messy in the bedroom.
310
00:12:50,749 --> 00:12:55,054
Spirits are revealing a lot
of different female energy.
311
00:12:55,055 --> 00:12:58,953
All sorts of women.
312
00:12:58,954 --> 00:13:00,886
Uh, nah.
313
00:13:00,887 --> 00:13:03,497
Ashley's the only one for me.
314
00:13:03,498 --> 00:13:06,007
Yep, the only one for me.
315
00:13:06,008 --> 00:13:08,515
Me and Ashley.
316
00:13:12,519 --> 00:13:15,501
Black women...
317
00:13:15,502 --> 00:13:17,774
white women...
318
00:13:17,775 --> 00:13:19,876
a couple Native Americans.
319
00:13:19,877 --> 00:13:21,470
Nah.
320
00:13:21,471 --> 00:13:23,809
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
321
00:13:23,810 --> 00:13:25,742
The casinos.
322
00:13:25,743 --> 00:13:28,183
Damn them Navajos.
323
00:13:28,184 --> 00:13:31,541
Where is all this energy coming from?
324
00:13:31,542 --> 00:13:32,863
- Marlon?
- Huh?
325
00:13:32,864 --> 00:13:34,593
Can I talk to you for a sec?
326
00:13:34,594 --> 00:13:36,390
Absolutely, my Nubian queen.
327
00:13:36,391 --> 00:13:40,561
Thank you for the reading.
I'll be right back.
328
00:13:40,562 --> 00:13:42,053
Marlon,
329
00:13:42,054 --> 00:13:44,020
after your sister's
done cutting gizzards
330
00:13:44,021 --> 00:13:46,055
on my granite countertops...
331
00:13:46,056 --> 00:13:48,767
She's gonna teach me
how to make hot-buttered rum.
332
00:13:48,768 --> 00:13:51,141
I'm supposed to rub it
on your belly later in bed.
333
00:13:51,142 --> 00:13:53,820
She believes it's
gonna save our marriage.
334
00:13:53,821 --> 00:13:59,008
Well, damn, you know, she ain't wrong.
335
00:13:59,009 --> 00:14:02,161
I don't know how much
more of this I can take.
336
00:14:02,162 --> 00:14:04,264
You... you think I'm enjoying this?
337
00:14:04,265 --> 00:14:07,586
Lenora got the spirits over
there snitching on my penis.
338
00:14:09,283 --> 00:14:11,317
Marlon, this is insane.
339
00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:13,352
All because you don't want
your sisters to be upset.
340
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:14,945
It's not that they'll be upset.
341
00:14:14,946 --> 00:14:16,878
It's why they'll be upset.
342
00:14:16,879 --> 00:14:19,048
Listen, me and you being together
343
00:14:19,049 --> 00:14:21,965
is proof that my sisters
raised me right.
344
00:14:21,966 --> 00:14:23,999
Ashley, please.
345
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,983
Just... just ride with me,
just one more day?
346
00:14:26,984 --> 00:14:29,187
All right. Fine.
347
00:14:29,188 --> 00:14:30,714
That's what I do.
348
00:14:30,715 --> 00:14:32,951
Ride or die till the wheels fall off.
349
00:14:32,952 --> 00:14:35,020
That's my girl.
350
00:14:35,021 --> 00:14:36,953
Plus, this is the worst of it.
351
00:14:36,954 --> 00:14:39,598
How much further
can they possibly take this?
352
00:14:43,295 --> 00:14:44,616
Oh.
353
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:47,261
This much further.
354
00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:50,482
We renewing some vows
up in this piece.
355
00:15:01,711 --> 00:15:03,697
Oh, look, Marlon,
356
00:15:03,698 --> 00:15:07,596
we're getting remarried.
357
00:15:07,597 --> 00:15:09,835
Oh, you know you got a ghetto wedding
358
00:15:09,836 --> 00:15:13,904
when your kids
is in your bridal party.
359
00:15:13,905 --> 00:15:16,514
Ashley, this time
you're jumping the broom.
360
00:15:16,515 --> 00:15:19,871
The ancestors were pissed when
you didn't do it the last time.
361
00:15:19,872 --> 00:15:23,227
Oh, hey, hey, hey, Ash!
Isn't this great?
362
00:15:23,228 --> 00:15:24,754
What a fun thing to do
363
00:15:24,755 --> 00:15:29,704
for my sisters' soon-to-be-over visit?
364
00:15:29,705 --> 00:15:32,078
Look what I found in the garage, girl.
365
00:15:32,079 --> 00:15:33,537
My... my wedding dress?
366
00:15:33,538 --> 00:15:34,643
Aw, come on.
367
00:15:34,644 --> 00:15:36,502
She ain't gotta put on
the wedding dress.
368
00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:37,859
I mean, look, it's all white.
369
00:15:37,860 --> 00:15:40,979
Clearly, she ain't a virgin anymore.
370
00:15:40,980 --> 00:15:42,403
Yeah, you know what? I'm...
371
00:15:42,404 --> 00:15:44,946
I'm really very uncomfortable
with this.
372
00:15:44,947 --> 00:15:46,778
Oh, don't worry, girl,
it'll still fit.
373
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,303
Skinny bitches get on my nerves.
374
00:15:48,304 --> 00:15:49,592
- Come on.
- Hey, hey, come on.
375
00:15:49,593 --> 00:15:51,558
Now, guys... come on, guys.
376
00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:53,118
This is getting out of hand.
377
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,813
- You don't need a girdle.
- Come on, guys, stop.
378
00:15:54,814 --> 00:15:57,832
Stop. All right, stop!
379
00:15:57,833 --> 00:16:00,104
Leave her alone, gosh.
380
00:16:00,105 --> 00:16:02,161
Ashley's not putting on
no wedding dress.
381
00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:04,061
It's bad enough I made her
deal with y'all craziness
382
00:16:04,062 --> 00:16:05,722
during our marriage,
but you know what?
383
00:16:05,723 --> 00:16:08,673
I'll be damned if I make her
deal with it during our divorce.
384
00:16:08,674 --> 00:16:11,996
Divorce?
385
00:16:11,997 --> 00:16:14,232
Um.
386
00:16:16,404 --> 00:16:19,727
Yes. We are divorced.
387
00:16:19,728 --> 00:16:23,186
And I know you're probably
a little bit disappointed in me.
388
00:16:23,187 --> 00:16:24,643
And that's fine.
389
00:16:24,644 --> 00:16:26,611
But you know what's not gonna happen?
390
00:16:26,612 --> 00:16:29,526
Do you know what's
not about to happen?
391
00:16:29,527 --> 00:16:33,256
You and you are not
about to get all crazy.
392
00:16:33,257 --> 00:16:35,088
If you have something to say,
393
00:16:35,089 --> 00:16:38,682
then we can sit down and
we can discuss this like adults
394
00:16:38,683 --> 00:16:42,785
in a nice, mature, calm,
collected fashion.
395
00:16:42,786 --> 00:16:46,141
And I will be open
to hear your thoughts.
396
00:16:46,144 --> 00:16:49,499
Are we clear?
397
00:16:50,992 --> 00:16:52,653
- I knew it! I knew it!
- This ain't calm!
398
00:16:52,654 --> 00:16:53,840
This ain't calm and collected!
399
00:16:53,841 --> 00:16:55,535
The universe was trying to tell me!
400
00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:56,790
And I don't know why I didn't see it!
401
00:16:56,791 --> 00:16:58,112
I will beat you! I will beat you!
402
00:16:58,113 --> 00:16:59,706
Why? Why?
403
00:16:59,707 --> 00:17:01,266
- I'll put you over my knee!
- Hey... girl, hey... hey...
404
00:17:01,267 --> 00:17:02,622
Hey, now, stop it, Lovie.
405
00:17:02,623 --> 00:17:04,487
I told you, once I shot up,
406
00:17:04,488 --> 00:17:06,115
and I got some hair down there,
407
00:17:06,116 --> 00:17:08,115
and... and the other ball dropped,
408
00:17:08,116 --> 00:17:09,472
yeah, it's a new year.
409
00:17:09,473 --> 00:17:10,862
Don't hit me like that no more.
410
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:13,982
Yeah, but... but
what about the babies?
411
00:17:13,983 --> 00:17:15,508
Why the hell didn't you tell us?
412
00:17:15,509 --> 00:17:16,932
Because of this!
413
00:17:16,933 --> 00:17:18,729
Look at you. Look how you're acting!
414
00:17:18,730 --> 00:17:21,611
I can't tell you guys anything real.
415
00:17:21,612 --> 00:17:23,138
But since we're going here,
you know what?
416
00:17:23,139 --> 00:17:25,138
Fine, I'm putting it all on the table.
417
00:17:25,139 --> 00:17:28,767
Marley's middle name is not Lovie.
418
00:17:28,768 --> 00:17:31,446
Sound like a damn stripper name.
419
00:17:31,447 --> 00:17:32,836
It's Sharday.
420
00:17:34,431 --> 00:17:39,380
And we spell it S-H-A-R-D-A-Y.
421
00:17:39,381 --> 00:17:41,754
Sharday!
422
00:17:41,755 --> 00:17:44,602
The way it's pronounced, not "Sade."
423
00:17:44,603 --> 00:17:48,061
And Lenora, you know them little
chain message you send around?
424
00:17:48,062 --> 00:17:49,248
- Mm-hmm.
- About the angels?
425
00:17:49,249 --> 00:17:51,113
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, guess what?
426
00:17:51,114 --> 00:17:53,995
I don't send them to nobody.
427
00:17:53,996 --> 00:17:56,267
And I still get miracles.
428
00:17:56,268 --> 00:18:00,843
'Cause I am blessed
and highly favored.
429
00:18:01,864 --> 00:18:03,015
And you know what?
430
00:18:03,016 --> 00:18:05,491
I don't like Cool Water cologne.
431
00:18:05,492 --> 00:18:06,983
I don't wear it.
432
00:18:06,984 --> 00:18:09,119
It smells like sanny cakes
that you piss on
433
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:10,408
in the damn urinals.
434
00:18:10,409 --> 00:18:11,509
Oh!
435
00:18:12,410 --> 00:18:14,883
Smells like poor people
trying to smell rich.
436
00:18:14,884 --> 00:18:19,800
And you know what?
Zack ain't baptized.
437
00:18:19,801 --> 00:18:22,106
I circumcised him.
438
00:18:22,107 --> 00:18:23,836
Yeah, I know.
439
00:18:23,837 --> 00:18:25,294
"Oh, that's not natural!
440
00:18:25,295 --> 00:18:26,989
Oh, that's asgusting!"
441
00:18:26,990 --> 00:18:29,262
No, you ain't gonna have
my boy out there
442
00:18:29,263 --> 00:18:32,686
with... with no... looking like
a Mr. Snuffleupagus.
443
00:18:32,687 --> 00:18:34,891
Or a damn anteater.
444
00:18:34,892 --> 00:18:37,738
No, looking...
With a turtleneck and a hoodie.
445
00:18:37,739 --> 00:18:42,113
I don't want him to have
a gangster little thing-a-ding!
446
00:18:42,114 --> 00:18:44,453
And, Lovie,
447
00:18:44,454 --> 00:18:48,724
I don't like your mac and cheese.
448
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:55,202
It's too damn wet.
449
00:19:03,681 --> 00:19:05,205
She be a'ight.
450
00:19:05,206 --> 00:19:08,664
I don't really care
451
00:19:08,665 --> 00:19:11,038
if you look like Questlove down there
452
00:19:11,039 --> 00:19:13,276
and that ball done dropped.
453
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:14,598
I'ma bust your ass!
454
00:19:14,599 --> 00:19:16,394
Wait... what... no! Stop!
455
00:19:22,715 --> 00:19:23,641
Well, you know what?
456
00:19:23,642 --> 00:19:25,641
Maybe pretending
we were happily married
457
00:19:25,642 --> 00:19:27,743
for the rest of our lives
would have been easier.
458
00:19:27,744 --> 00:19:28,930
No.
459
00:19:28,931 --> 00:19:30,490
I should have been
real with them before
460
00:19:30,491 --> 00:19:31,711
our marriage even started.
461
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:34,390
- Hey.
- Hm?
462
00:19:34,391 --> 00:19:36,085
I'm sorry I put you through that.
463
00:19:36,086 --> 00:19:38,900
Marlon, you don't
have to apologize to me.
464
00:19:38,901 --> 00:19:41,002
Okay? You fought for me.
465
00:19:41,003 --> 00:19:45,410
It was a woman. And you lost.
466
00:19:45,411 --> 00:19:47,105
But you fought for me.
467
00:19:47,106 --> 00:19:50,157
Besides, you know
I'm your ride or die.
468
00:19:50,158 --> 00:19:52,054
Always.
469
00:19:54,769 --> 00:19:57,991
If you hit me, I'm gonna tell Mommy.
470
00:19:57,992 --> 00:20:00,806
Oh, Marlon, we just want to talk.
471
00:20:00,807 --> 00:20:03,417
It hurts us to see
both of you divorced.
472
00:20:03,418 --> 00:20:04,863
But what hurts more is that
473
00:20:04,864 --> 00:20:07,677
you couldn't come to your
sisters and talk about it.
474
00:20:07,678 --> 00:20:08,933
Well...
475
00:20:08,934 --> 00:20:10,560
I know how much you guys love Ashley.
476
00:20:10,561 --> 00:20:13,849
And I... I... I just
didn't want to disappoint you.
477
00:20:13,850 --> 00:20:15,477
And I'm sorry.
478
00:20:15,478 --> 00:20:18,631
Boy, you stupider than I thought.
479
00:20:18,632 --> 00:20:19,953
Come on.
480
00:20:19,954 --> 00:20:21,615
You marrying Ashley?
481
00:20:21,616 --> 00:20:24,192
That's only one of the things
we're proud of.
482
00:20:24,193 --> 00:20:27,074
Yeah. You got your 401K.
483
00:20:27,075 --> 00:20:29,142
And those babies?
484
00:20:29,143 --> 00:20:31,584
They don't even curse.
485
00:20:31,585 --> 00:20:33,720
Yeah, well that's all Ashley.
486
00:20:33,721 --> 00:20:37,755
I been trying to get the boy to
say disgusting things for years.
487
00:20:37,756 --> 00:20:41,655
Marlon, you're the most
generous person I know.
488
00:20:41,656 --> 00:20:43,486
I wouldn't be able to stream my shows
489
00:20:43,487 --> 00:20:47,047
if you didn't share your password.
490
00:20:47,048 --> 00:20:50,132
Marlon, you got a good heart.
491
00:20:50,133 --> 00:20:53,455
You pretended to still be married,
492
00:20:53,456 --> 00:20:59,143
making a mockery of God's
most holiest institution,
493
00:20:59,144 --> 00:21:02,011
- just to not disappoint us.
- Mm-hmm.
494
00:21:02,012 --> 00:21:04,597
You going to Hell just for us.
495
00:21:04,598 --> 00:21:06,190
Yeah, you are.
496
00:21:06,191 --> 00:21:07,649
Aww, damn.
497
00:21:07,650 --> 00:21:10,294
- I love my sisters.
- Both: Aww.
498
00:21:10,295 --> 00:21:12,397
Ashley, get your ass over here.
499
00:21:12,398 --> 00:21:14,906
Yeah, get your little
skinny behind over here, girl.
500
00:21:14,907 --> 00:21:17,212
You know you still our little sister.
501
00:21:17,213 --> 00:21:19,856
Oh, we're always
gonna be proud of you.
502
00:21:19,857 --> 00:21:21,315
And when you step out of line,
503
00:21:21,316 --> 00:21:23,756
we're always gonna kick that ass.
504
00:21:23,757 --> 00:21:25,282
Yeah.
505
00:21:25,283 --> 00:21:27,588
Like we about to do
in this spades game!
506
00:21:27,589 --> 00:21:28,944
- Oh, no! Oh, no!
- Oh, wait a minute!
507
00:21:28,945 --> 00:21:30,029
- Oh, no! Oh, no!
- Oh, yes!
508
00:21:30,030 --> 00:21:31,691
Oh, no, y'all didn't!
509
00:21:31,692 --> 00:21:33,013
- Yes.
- Come on.
510
00:21:33,014 --> 00:21:34,302
- Oh, we about to do it.
- You don't know.
511
00:21:34,303 --> 00:21:41,859
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