All language subtitles for Hangin.with.the.Homeboys.1991.WEBRip.x264-ION10

Yo.

[Wheels screeching
on tracks]

Hey, man,
what's up with that?

You know me?
You talkin' to me?

Yo, homey,
you gettin' bad with me?

You want me
to fuck you up?

Fuck him up, man.

Jump on him,
man.

You couldn't fuck up
your own mother.

For that, motherfucker,
you die.

Come here, man.

Come here, man.

[Blows landing]

Ow, I'm hurting.

[Laughing]

Get off the floor,
man.

[English accent]
Ladies and gentlemen,

thank you for attending
another performance

of ghetto theater.

Return with us next week
as we perform our rendition

of Romeo and latoya.

Thank you.

*i've got the power *

* I've got the power

* the power

* the power

* the power

* the power

* like a thief
when I'm steamin' *

* like the groove I'm schemin'

* let the opposition follow,
we're free men *

* bring a skill
with the Lyric *

*breakin' our balls *

* steal your soul with the tone
of the microphone *

* in this game of life,
i will thrive, survive *

* you take a dive

* your brain is on no jive,
miracle strong *

* even in the last hour

* snap, Jack

* 'cause I got the power

* I got the power

* like the turn of the whip,
i snap attack *

* front to back

* in this thing called rap

* dig it like a shovel,
rhyme devil *

* on a heavenly level

* bang the bass

* turn up the treble

* radical mind,
day and night all the time *

* 7 to 14,
wise divine *

* maniac brainiac,
winning the game *

* I'm the lyrical
Jesse James *

* I got the power

* the power

* the power

* the power

[car horn honking]

[Man shouting
in Spanish]

[Rock music playing]

Woman: did
the mailman come?

[Latin music playing]

P.A.: Maria to
the front counter, please.

Maria to the front counter.

Johnny, Monday's
the deadline

on that hispanic
scholarship

that I've been
telling you about.

Remember?

Oh, yeah, right.
I forgot about that.

My son got his in
2 weeks already,

so you better
get moving.

Yeah, ok, I will.

Ok.

[Train brakes screeching]

Hey, how--how
you doing, daria?

Oh, hi, Johnny.

How you doing?

Tsh, I don't know.

I'm doing--
I'm doing all right.

Haven't seen you in
the store in a long time,

you know?

Oh, yeah.

I've been feeling
kind of lazy.

You know?

Just not wanting
to shop.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, i--i know--
i know that feeling.

Hey, you know, I was--
i was wondering,

you know,

if--if you're not doing
anything tomorrow night,

would you maybe like
to go out or something?

No, sorry.

I've got plans.

Well, I'll be
seeing you.

All right,
I'll be seeing you.

Maybe next week.

Ok?

Oh, yeah, next week.
That sounds terrific.

Ok. bye.

All right. Bye.

God bless you.

I'll get her.

I'll get her.

[Telephone ringing,
people talking]

[Baby fussing]

Look, Mr. Stevens,

we're quite fed up
with your behavior.

We've sent you out
to several work programs

and you never show up.

If you don't want your
welfare checks terminated,

you'd better
straighten up.

This is 'cause
I'm black, right?

What are you
talking about?

Look, you can be
honest with me.

You're doing this to me
'cause I'm black, right?

Fine.

I'll be honest.

I'm doing this because
i think you're a bum.

Oh, I'm a bum.
Oh, I'm a bum.

Oh, you calling me a bum
because I'm black, right?

See, if I was a white guy,
I'd be eccentric,

but now I got to be
a bum, right?

No, if you were
a white guy,

you'd be a white bum.

I don't think
that's funny.

It wasn't meant to be.
I think you're not

showing up
to our work programs

because you don't want
to be involved in them,

which would simply lead

to a termination
of your checks.

Oh, no. Oh, whatever
gave you that idea?

Oh, I love
your work programs.

Especially the one
you sent me on last week.

You know, the one where I'm
supposed to clean the toilets.

Oh, I love that type of stuff.

Oh, I do that type of stuff
all the time at home.

I mean, that's what you'd expect
a black man to do, right?

Look, this conversation
is over.

I'm sending you
to one last program.

It's in Brooklyn.

Brooklyn? that's like

on the other side
of the world, man.

If you don't go,

your case will be
terminated.

You're doing this
because I'm black, right?

We have several kinds of
magazines to choose from, sir.

Even magazines specific
to your occupation.

By the way, sir,
what is your occupation?

Well, we have several
kinds of magazines, sir.

Even magazines specific
to your occupation.

May I ask what
your occupation is?

Oh, that's wonderful.

Yes, we have all kinds
of magazines, sir.

Even magazines specific
to your occupation.

What is your occupation,
sir?

Oh, you're an agent.
Oh, really?

You mean, like in movies?

Oh, well, my name
is Thomas mcneal,

and I'm an actor.

Yeah, really.

What have I done?

Uh, well,
did you see rain man?

I was up to play a part
of a waiter in rain man,

but they wrote out
the scene.

Yeah, that happens
sometimes.

Uh, listen.

Look, forget
about the magazines.

They suck.
Just take my word for it.

Uh, do you think I could get
your name or your address--

ahem.

Uh, yes, we have
excellent magazines, sir.

Uh, all sorts of magazines.

Even magazines specific
to your occupation, sir.

[Alarm beeping]

[Stops beeping]

[Siren in distance]

[Ringing]

Hello.

He-e-e-e-e-e-y.

Candy, how you doing?

Yeah.

I'm fine.

No, I'm fine.

When, tonight?

I can't. I'm hanging out
with the fellas.

No.

When?
when did I promise that?

Oh, come on, baby.
You know

you can't count on anything
i say when I'm doing that.

[Click,
dial tone]

Hello?

[Telephone rings]

Hello.

He-e-e-e-e-e-e-y.

Wendy, how you doing?

I'm ok.

What?

No, I can't, not tonight.

I'm hanging out
with the fellas.

No.

I know, Wendy, but--

when did I promise that?

[Sighs]

It figures.

Well, I'm sorry, Wendy,
but I can't.

I told you--

but, Wendy, but listen--

but, Wendy, but listen--

but, Wendy, but--

all right, forget it.
All right.

So I lied, ok?
So forget--

[dial tone]

[Telephone rings]

Oh, shit.

What the fuck
happened to you?

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit!

Heh heh heh heh heh!

Heh heh heh heh!

Oh, shit!

[Doorbell rings]

Huh?

[Groans]

Damn.

Aah!

It's me, man.

Oh, thank god.
At first,

I thought white people
moved in the neighborhood.

Heh heh heh!

Hey, man, I'm a little
short on cash tonight.

I was hoping you could
lend me a couple of bucks.

Come on, man,
a few dollars.

How much you owe me
already?

I don't know.
$20, $30.

$137.86.

Come on, man.
I mean,

what do you care anyway?
You don't work for it.

You get it from
your girlfriends.

Hey, what difference
does it make

where I get it from,
man?

That's how much
you owe me.

[Doorbell rings]

Look, you be
honest with me.

You're doing this 'cause
I'm black, right? I know.

I'm doing this 'cause
you're an ugly motherfucker.

Do me a favor,

could you get the door
for me, please?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Please.

This is because I'm black.

Because I'm a black man
in a white land.

I'm answering doors for you.
Next thing you know,

I'll be driving
motherfucking miss Daisy.

What?!

I-I'm looking
for vinny.

Who?

Vinny.

The guy who lives here.

Vinny?

Oh, you must be talking
about Fernando.

No, man, she means
vinny, man. Vinny.

Come on in, baby.

How are you doing?

Good.

Look, I brought
you dinner.

It's pork chops
with yellow rice.

I made it myself.

That's beautiful.

Oh, baby,
that's so nice.

That's so sweet.

I wish everybody
was so nice to me.

Come on in.

You know, I wanted to
ask you something, sweetie.

If it's possible,

you think
you could give me

a couple of dollars
tonight,

'cause I'm running
a little short.

I thought we were
staying in tonight.

Well, you know
what happened was this.

You know, Willie--
Willie's--Willie's--

Willie's father
ran into a little problem,

and he's like
really, really sick.

And so, all the fellas,
we're all gonna get together

and we're gonna go
visit him.

Right, Willie?

Huh?

Right, Willie?

Oh, um, yeah.
Um, he's gonna die.

And if we--we
don't visit him,

you know,
he's gonna die.

And--and death hurts.

You see...

Willie has been so taken,

he's so stunned
with what's been going on,

that he says crazy things
sometimes, right, Willie?

Yeah, that's right,
um, fernan--

fer-vinny.

See what I mean?

You're so sweet.

How much do you need?

[Latin music playing]

Damn, man, what are you,

dumb, stupid, retarded,
or all of the above?

I didn't do anything.

You did enough, bro.
Do me a favor.

From now on, if ever
i ask you a question,

don't say anything, man.

Just nod, all right,
just nod.

I was just trying
to help you.

Yeah, and don't help.
Don't help, bro.

Because if I need help
from you,

I know I'm in
big trouble, all right?

Do me a favor,
just nod.

Ok, ok.

All right.
So cut the shit.

Where are we going, bro?

We're gonna go
pick up Johnny.

Johnny? Johnny?

We just hung out

with that sad-sack
motherfucker.

We're gonna hang out
with him again?

Johnny's my best friend.

I know that, man,
but...

You know, that guy,
he gets so depressing

and shit, man,
you know.

He's--he's like fucking
Mr. Spock and shit.

Look, Johnny ain't going,
i ain't going,

'cause that's my boy,
all right?

Well, that's cool, man,
but, you know,

I mean, just tell
the guy to lighten up,

that's all.

Ok, Fernando.

Fern--
do me a favor, man.

I can't believe you're
calling me Fernando.

From now on,
do me a favor,

please, especially
in front of a woman,

you got to
call me vinny.

Do me a favor, man.
Promise me.

Call me vinny,
all right?

Ok, I'll call you
vinny pantagalini

if you want me to,
all right?

All right, man,
because if I hear

one of you motherfuckers
call me Fernando,

I swear to god, I'm gonna
die of a heart attack.

What's up, John?

Hey, Willie,
how you doing, man?

What's up?

Yo, man.

Hey, Fernando.
¿que pasa?

It's vinny.

My name's vinny.

Oh, yeah.
Yeah, right, right.

Vinny. I forgot.
I'm sorry.

It's all right.
It's all right.

So, what are you guys
doing here tonight, man?

Yo, man,
it's Friday night,

hang out night.
Time to have some fun.

Yeah.

I don't know.
I don't know.

I don't know.

You see that, man.
The guy's depressed.

You don't wanna
take a chance

on ruining the guy's
depressed state, man.

I'm serious
and shit.

Look, can you do me
a favor, vincente,

and stay out of this?
I'm talking to my friend.

That's fine.
That's fine.

The only thing
I'm saying is,

you know, the guy's,
he's not feeling--

maybe we should
just, you know,

not twist his arm
and stuff.

Could you do me a favor
and go over there or something?

I'm talking to my friend,
all right?

No, I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna--

I'm just saying,
you know,

that's it.

I'm not saying
any more.

Don't worry about it,
Willie, man.

Look, man, it's not gonna
be the same without you.

I don't know, man.
I don't know.

I don't--i--i got--

I gotta wake up
early tomorrow.

I gotta open up
the store tomorrow.

You know,
i don't know.

If you're not gonna
do it for yourself,

do it for me,
all right?

Please don't let me

hang out with that
clown all night.

Ah, I don't know.

Oh, man, I don't know.

All right, all right.
You got me, you got me.

All right, I'm gonna
go check out, ok?

Give me a minute.

All right.
Ok, man?

You owe me.

[Chuckles]

He's not gonna go,
right?

He's going.

He's gonna go?

He's going.

Ahh, all right.

Pay attention to me, ok?
Do I have your attention?

You wanted him
to come, right?

You understand
what I just said?

You wanted him
to come, right?

You. nobody else.
The magic word is you.

Get to the point.

You wanted him to come.

Then you are responsible
for him.

What?
that's right.

If, by any chance, I should have
a boring, depressing evening

because of him,

you are responsible.

You. nobody else.

You, all right?

You.

You.

[Train passing]

Whew.

Jesus. I wear this
stupid outfit so much,

I think one morning it's gonna
jump out of this locker

and meet me
at my front door.

Hello.

I know what you're
talking about, man.

I got 5 of these ugly
suckers myself at home.

[Sighs]

Well, here's
the scholarship form.

You better take it because
Monday's the deadline.

Ah, Pedro.

What?

I don't know, man.

I'm just not the
college type, all right?

No, what type are you?

The supermarket type?

Don't be stupid. You got
a good shot at this.

You got excellent grades
in high school.

You did.
Nah.

Yeah. I can't understand

how you wasted 2 years

hanging around this joint.

'Cause...i--i...

Oh, man, I'll do it
next year, all right?

No. next year
will be too late

because you'll be
too old to qualify.

Take it.

What are you afraid of?

Take it.

Why Johnny, man?
Why him?

What's up, guys?
Where we goin'? Come on.

We're gonna go
pick up Tommy, man.

Oh, yeah. Ok. Come on,
let's go, Willie.

Vamanos, Fernando.

It's you. You.

All right, would you
just shut up?

Did you call Tommy

to let him know
you were coming?

Willie: nah, man.
I'm sure it's cool.

Nah, man. You can't
just go barging

into people's houses
like that.

That's ridiculous, man.
That's not right.

Shh. shh.

[Music playing]

Watch this.

Open up!
It's the police.

Open up! I know you got

that 9-year-old girl
in there.

Wh--oh, man!

[Laughing]

You big imitation
Italian motherfucker.

Come on in, y'all.

What y'all
doin' here?

Willie: yo, man.
It's Friday night.

Hang out night, man.

Y'all should think
about calling somebody

before you just come
over to their house.

Why, man? What's up?

I made plans with
my lady for tonight.

Aha! see, I told you.
I told you, man.

Oh, come on, bro!

Come on, man.
You don't want

to hang out
with the fellas?

Y'all should call me
or something.

You'd have
called earlier,

maybe I could
change my plans.

But it's too late now.

I told you. Didn't i
tell you, guys?

I told you
you shouldn't be barging

into people's houses
like that.

If he ain't goin', he
ain't goin'. That's it.

What do you mean, "if he's
not goin', he's not goin'.

That's it. That's it"?

That's bullshit!
What's the matter?

That's bullshit, man.

Vinny, it's like
you said, man.

You shouldn't have to
force somebody

to do something
they don't want to do.

You know, twist their arm
and all that.

This is different, ok?
Tommy's got to go.

He's got to.

Oh, yeah? Why?

Why? because
Tommy's got something

that you and me
and Willie ain't got

all put together.

Willie: what's that?

Tom has a car!

Come on, bro.
We need you

and your secondhand
cop car, bro.

You got to come. What's
the matter with you?

There's my lady.

Come on, man.
You gonna give up

a night on the town, man,

to go hang out
with some girl?

She ain't
just some girl, man.

She's an incredibly
beautiful

and wonderful girl,
all right?

I tell you what.

This time, I think
it's really love.

All right, man.

[Whistles]

Come on, man!

When did cupid
shoot you in your ass?

Come on!

You gonna give up a night

of hangin' out with
your homeboys, man,

your bestest friends
for years and years

just so you can hang out
with some ugly girl?

She ain't ugly, man.
She's beautiful,

incredibly beautiful.

Come on, man. I know
your taste in women.

She probably looks
like a duck. Ohh!

Yeah. that's
what you think.

This girl's so fine,
when you meet her

you be beggin' to drink her
bath water, motherfucker.

Right here,
i got $10

that says
your girl is ugly.

I'm talkin' "ug."

I'm talkin'
fucking "ly."

Can you back it up?

Yeah, I'll back it up.

Ok, who here's with me?

Who's with me?

Come on, man!

You guys know
Tommy's taste in women.

All right, all right,
all right, all right.

I got a $10 food stamp

that says this girl's ugly
with a capital "ug."

All right.
I got $10 right here

on that ugly person, man.

That's $30 I got
to back up, man.

That's not fair.

You're the one that
says she's so fine.

I mean, you're the one--

what, are you
afraid she's ugly,

and you
gonna lose? What?

Nobody afraid
she's ugly, man.

I know the girl's fine.

Just people have
different opinions

what fine is.

Now how we
gonna handle this?

I got it. I got it, man.

Why don't we judge it
like a miss America pageant?

We vote on a scale
of 1-10, bro.

Your girlfriend's
got to be at least a 9.

A 9?! Come on, man.
9's too high.

If we vote, she gotta
be at least a 5.

A 5?

My grandmother's a 5,
and she's dead.

I don't care, man.

9 is just too high.

She's gotta be
at least a 7. A 7.

There you go, man.
7. 7 is cool.

I could do that.
How about you?

Tommy: fine. You want
to know what fine is?

I'm gonna show you fine.

This girl is fine.

F-i-n-e. fine.

In fact, that should
be her last name.

Vanessa fine.

And another thing, y'all,
don't be so obvious.

Don't be staring at her
like she's odd,

'cause she's not only beautiful,
but she's smart,

and she'll pick up on that.

Vanessa: who is it?

It's Tommy.

Oh, hi, baby.
How you doing?

Honey, what you doing?
How come you ain't dressed?

I thought we was
goin' out tonight.

Oh, no, no, no.
I'm really sick.

It just came over me
this morning.

How come you ain't
call me or something?

Oh, I'm sorry. I've
been asleep all day.

I just forgot.

I guess that means
tonight is off, huh?

Oh, yeah.
I'm really sorry.

Oh, ok.
All right, well,

I hope you feel better.

Thanks, babe.

Ok.
ok.

Both: bye-bye.

She's beautiful,
ain't she?

She looks
like a duck.

Where's
my money, man?

Come on, man.
She's gorgeous.

Willie,
tell him, man.

I give the ho a 2.

A 2?! Where do you keep
your eyes? In your ass?

That's how I feel.

Come on, man. Y'all
got to be fair now.

Cough up
the dillies, bro.

Cough up
the dillies?

Wait a second.
That's 2 for your side.

I happen to think
she's gorgeous.

That means Johnny here
has the deciding vote.

No, man. No, no.

I--i don't want
to be deciding vote.

Vinny: what are you
afraid of, bro?

I'm not afraid, man.

I'm not afraid.
I just--

it was--i didn't get
a good look at her.

That's what happened.

That's it. He didn't
get a good look at her.

So that means
we're all even.

Even?! bring the girl
back out here, bro.

What?!
oh, that's stupid.

I ain't bringin' her
back out here.

All right. Then I guess
that means we won, then.

Because it's still
2 against one, right?

$30 is $30.

[Knocks on door]

Hi, sweetie.

What are you
still doing here?

Oh, you know, I was just
worried about you, baby.

Look, I was
just wondering,

you want me to get you
some aspirin

or something
from he store?

What are you doing?

Oh, I'm just admiring
your beautiful skin.

You know I always
like your skin.

Aw, you're such
a romantic.

No, I don't
need anything.

I just need to get
back to sleep, ok?

Ok. you go on and get
your beauty rest, darlin'.

Ok.
all right.

Bye, lover.
Bye-bye.

Bye.

Oh, no.
Oh, no, guys. No, no.

I--i don't want to be
the deciding vote, ok?

Willie:
just--just be honest.

All right.

Ok? all right.

She was--she was
sort of like, um...

I don't know.
She was...

'Cause she had, um...

You know...

Hell, man...

She--she--she was an 8.

All right! An 8!

Ha ha ha! An 8!

Make out all checks

to Mr. Thomas mcneal.
Thank you.

You told me
to be honest, man.

I was just being honest.

You was honest, Johnny.

Actually,
you weren't honest.

She's really a 9.

You know who's responsible
for this, right?

You know who's
responsible for this?

You're responsible
for this.

[Swingin' playing]

* jammin' on the Mike
that's who I am *

* this I dig,
and I thank you, man *

* for the time
you're waiting *

* anticipating,
collaborating *

* and time to admit it

* heard the words of
the new man and artist *

* listen to the beat
he started *

* jammin',
slammin' *

* bass line banging
in your ear *

* never fear,
'cause I'm here *

* me, the p-r-i-n-c-e

*rakeem, double-e
in the middle *

* ought to come see me

* dancin', movin', with
a line starts checkin'...*

all right. Where's
the first up, y'all.

Wherever
the girlies are, bro.

Wherever the girlies are.

You're crazy, vinny, man.
You're crazy.

You keep messin' with them
girls like that, man,

and one day, you're
going to come down

with something strange--

nah, nah, nah, nah.
Not me. Not me.

Let me show you
something, man.

You see this here?

You see this?

Do you know
what this is?

What?
what is this?

What?

What is this?

I know what it is.

What is this?
I know.

What is this?

It's--it's a condom,
man.

Wrong.
it's a super-condom.

With this thing here,

this thing has an ingredient
in it called nonoxynol-9.

You hear what I said?
I said--

[both] nonoxynol-9.

All right. With that,
no matter who you're with,

no matter
what they got,

with this...

Knock that shit
right out.

You can fuck an elephant
with this condom.

I'm sure you have,
vinny.

Oh, man, please.

Don't bring your girlfriend
into the conversation.

Johnny, I didn't know
you liked fat women.

Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
Look at that.

The perfect opportunity for me
to use my super-condom, man.

Slow the car down, man.
Slow it down.

Yo, yo, yo, yo,
yo, yo, yo, yo.

Yo, baby. Yo, yo, yo.

Yo, yo, vinny, man.

Get your ass
out of my face, man.

What's your name, man?
My name is--

my name
is vinny.

I'm from Italy.

I'm trying
to drive here.

Get your hairy, pimply
anus in here, man.

Damn. this is hazardous
to my driving, man.

Come on, baby,

why don't you come
in the car for a ride?

What are you
doing, man?

You trying to pick up
my daughters, huh?

Trying to pick up
my daughters?

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit, man.
Let's get the fuck out of here.

You don't pick up
my daughters, habe!

You're a puto.
I'll kill you, man!

I--i kill you!

Come on, Tommy.
Move the car, man!

Oh, shit!

[Tires screech]

Yo, look, man.

If them bottles would
have hit my car,

I'd get out
and kick your ass, man.

Oh, man, it wasn't
my fault.

It was your fault.
You're the one who made

that crazy puerto rican
come over here.

Hey, hey, hey.
Come on. Come on.

Watch it with that "crazy
puerto rican" stuff, man.

Don't say stuff
about my people.

What stuff? I just said
"crazy puerto rican."

You said it again.

I just told you not to say it,
and you said it again, man.

Don't talk about my people
like that, all right?

Yo, vinny, man.

Did you hear the way

he's talking about
our people, man?

Yo, vinny, man.
Don't you care?

Say, man, what am I supposed
to say to that shit?

Come on, man.
Say anything.

Say something, man.

You don't even think you're
puerto rican, do you?

Hey, yo,
he's Italian.

Hey, no, man.
I can't believe you said that.

It's not true, man.

I don't think
I'm Italian, all right?

Are there any more
brews back there?

No, Tommy, man,
you had the last one.

Oh, damn.
We got to stop.

I'm going
to get some more.

Yo, Johnny, put another
dollar in, man.

Here's my 2.

Thanks.

Hey, man. You ain't
got nothin'?

You can't even
put in 50 cent?

Damn. Willie, man,
you're pitiful.

Come on, y'all.
Put me down.

Yeah, I'll put you
down, man.

You're an ugly
motherfucker.

How's that?

[All laugh]

I'm sorry.

Come on.
Don't worry about it.

We all got your way, man--

no, no, no, don't
count me in that.

No more, man.
I've had it.

Oh, come on.
Come on, vinny.

Willie would do it for you
if he had it.

That's the point, man.
That's the point.

Willie never had--

that boy never
has any money,

and I'm tired of it.

'Cause that's
a black thing, you see?

That's the white man
oppressing me,

keeping me down.

Yo, man, forget it.

I'll put in
the difference.

I just want
to get some brew.

You see, you're--you're being
brainwashed by the white man

into thinking that all
minorities got to be poor.

Willie, please, please,
shut the fuck up.

Boy's always
got to be

coming up
with something.

"Put me down."

White man,
black man.

Shit.

Do yourself
a favor, man.

Get a job. Stop
bothering people.

Do you have
a job, vinny, huh?

Yeah!

We're talking about
him, man, not me.

And I know, man.
Did you have a job?

There it is.

Ain't none
of your business

if I got
a job or not.

That's because--it's because
you don't have a job, man.

It's because all
the money you've gotten

and all the food
you've ever gotten,

everything you've
ever gotten in your life,

you've gotten from
poor innocent women.

That's why, man.

Because you're
a leech and a parasite.

You know who's responsible
for this, right?

Look at me.

You know who's
responsible for this?

Yo.

Let's hit
the road.

Yo, man. That looks like
Louie-Louie over there.

Oh, shit.
That's him.

Louie!
Louie!

Lou-Lou.
he's dope.

[Laughs]

Hey, what's up, man?

Yo! what's up?
What's going on, man?

Man, what you doing
around here?

Just chillin', workin'.
Doing the same old.

Tommy: tell me something, man.

Any parties?
Anything going out tonight?

Nah, not in the boogie down
Bronx, homeboy.

Bronx is dead..

But y'all should
check out Manny-hatty.

Oh, yeah?

Manhattan's what's
happening tonight?

No, I don't feel like
going to Manhattan tonight.

Yo, Manhattan
is where it's at.

That's why I won't even be
hangin' in the Bronx, chief.

Manhattan is the life, b.

Yo, let's just hang out
in the Bronx tonight, all right?

Well, whatever,
home piece.

I got to tip.

Take care, man.

Lou-Lou
is bad, bro.

He's dope and all that.

That boy's got dollars
on his dollars.

[Rap music plays]

All right.
Here we go all around.

One for Johnny.

Can I check your
i.D. Please?

One for Willie...

Who didn't put in
a fucking dime as usual.

And one for my man
Tommy here.

Thank you,
brother.

Excuse--excuse me, Tommy.

How may beers did
you already have, man?

I don't know.
2 or 3.

You had 2 or 3, man?
Well, you--

you shouldn't have
another beer

if you're going to be
driving. I'm sorry.

Man--please, man.
Give me that goddamn--

no, no, man.
I'm--I'm serious, man.

You can't be drinking
and driving.

You can't do that.

Yo, man, you're going to
be drinking and walking

if you don't give me
that fucking beer, man.

What the fuck's
wrong with you?

Come on, man. We got
6 of them here.

No, vinny, don't
give them to him, man.

Get the fuck out of
here man. Please.

What's the matter with you?

You got to grow up,
Johnny, man.

Acting like
a little kid--

you are.

I don't know what you're
afraid of, man.

What the fuck are you
afraid of, man?

Oh, shit. Look.
Look at that.

And Louie-Louie said

there ain't nothing
happening in the Bronx.

Oh, my god!

Tommy: before
you say anything,

make sure there
ain't no big, fat,

hairy motherfuckers

with beer bottles
our there, man.

Whoo! baby! Whoo!

Pull the car over.

Chill out, man.
Shit.

Whoo!
oh!

Whoo!
oh!

Vinny: come here!

[Laughs]
oh!

Whoo! mama!

Come on, man.
Pull over. Pull over.

The last
motherfucker, man,

was throwing shit
at my car, man.

Just calm down.

Vinny: pull over, man.
Pull over.

Tommy: what the fuck are you
talking to little girls, man?

Vinny: pull over.

Tommy: I'm pulling over.

You're an asshole, man.
Damn!

Johnny: come on
out of here, Tommy.

Vinny: where'd them
women go, man?

Where'd they go?

[Music playing]

Hey, you hear that?

Where's that
coming from, man?

Where's that
music coming from?

Look. look right there.
The window.

You see that window
right there?

Vinny: oh, shit.

There's a party
going on up there.

Come on. Let's go.

Tommy: no, man.
Nobody knows you up there.

I'll just knock on the door
and say, "Jose sent us."

Jose, man?

You don't know no
Jose, vinny, man.

Man, it's a puerto rican
party.

There's got to be at least
one Jose up there, right?

Vinny, man, it's not
going to work, man.

Shh. quiet.

What's the matter
with you?

It's coming
from over there.

It's right here.

It's not going
to work, man.

Stop it,
will you, man?

I'm telling you, this is
going to work, all right?

Just let me do
the talking.

I'll get us in.

[Knocks on door]

[Whispering]
act natural.

Hey.
how you doing?

Can I help you?

Jose sent us.

Uh...yeah, well, ok.

Come in.

Thank you.

Man, I hate
house parties.

I always feel like

I'm locked in
a closet or something.

Hey, man,
you're the last guy

'cause you ain't
got no money.

You got in here for free,
so shut the fuck up.

Where's the food?

You can get yourself
some food, man.

I'm going
to get me a woman.

Damn, man, I love
Latin music, man.

Yeah, Tommy? I didn't
know that, man.

Well, great. Why don't
you go ahead and dance?

Oh, no, I love the music,

but I could never
dance to it, man.

I just can't get it.

Oh, sure you could, man.
It's real easy.

Anybody can dance.
Here, I'll show you.

Watch this. Watch.

Nah, nah. That's ok.

Come on.
Try it, man.

No, man,
I'm afraid to.

Why, man?

Well, because
that's how it starts, man.

That's how what starts.

You know, Johnny.
That's how it starts.

No, I don't know, man.

Tell me.
That's how what starts?

It starts with
the dancing, man.

Then if I like that,
next thing you know

I'll be wearing
polyester suits

with bell-bottom pants
eating rice and beans.

It's all right.

Yo, Tommy,

man, I take that as
a racist statement, man.

No, man, that ain't
no racist statement.

It's just a fact. I don't
look good in bell-bottoms.

Oh, hi, baby,
come here.

You know, you're
very, very attractive.

Come here. I just want
to tell you something.

Come here for a second.

Come here.

Ugly bitch.

Yo. who invited you
here, man?

Jose.

Jose?

Jose.

Which Jose,
huh?

Point him out.

Um...

Um, he's probably
not here.

He's probably
late or something.

What's his
last name,

this Jose?

[Latin music playing,
sung in Spanish]

That's it, Tommy.
You're getting it, man.

Oh, my god, man.

I think I feel my pants

expanding at
the bottom already.

Oh, cut the shit, man,
and just keep dancing.

Am I rocking it,
huh?

Yeah, you're rocking it, man.
You're rocking it.

Just keep it loose.
That's it.

Keep it flowing.

Hey, Johnny, you're
pretty good at this, man.

What you should do
is get on that dance floor

and find you one of those
hot Spanish mamas, man.

You might find your
future wife in here tonight.

You never know.

Not me, man.

I'm not going
to go that far.

I've already got my mind
on a special girl.

Oh, yeah?
Who is he?

Oh, Tommy, this girl,

she's innocent
and virginal.

Oh, man,
is this the same girl

you've been
talking about for weeks?

You still ain't got
that Booty yet?

This girl's not
about Booty, man.

She's a shy
and sensitive thing..

Oh, she's innocent,
virginal,

shy, and sensitive.

I don't know about
you, man,

but to me, she sounds
like she's a drag.

Ah.

Yeah, so you know,
after I finished law school,

I decided I didn't
want to, you know,

devote my entire life
to just one thing.

So I was trying to find
something in my life

that I could do like on,
you know,

those dull spaces, like on
the weekends and on holidays.

That's when I decided
to become an astronaut.

Mendez.
it was Mendez.

Mendez.

No, no,
it wasn't Mendez.

It wasn't Mendez.
It was...

Perez. Perez?

No, it wasn't--
it wasn't Perez.

Couldn't have
been Perez.

Um...

Vasquez.

Jose vasquez.

You know what
i think, bro?

I think you're
full of shit, black boy.

[Laughs]

Is that what
you think I am?

I'm not black.
I'm Dominican.

You're
a Dominican?

Sí.

Get the fuck out of here!
Let's go!

[Yelling]

[Yelling]

You guys come
back here again,

I'm going
to get my gun.

Fucking pendejo.

[Door closes]

Goddamn, man!

What the fuck's
the matter with you guys?!

What the hell
did you guys do?

What?
who?

What? who? Come on, man.
You guys know.

You must have
done something

to get our asses
kicked out of there.

You want to know
what the fuck I did?

You want to know
what the fuck I did?

I was born black,
motherfucker!

That's what I did!

Stop with that
black shit.

They threw me out
of that goddamn party

because I was black,
that's what!

Hey, hold up, man.

They said that
to you in there?

Yeah, that's right.
That's your people for you.

Yo, wait a second,
Willie.

Wait a second, man.

I was in that
party, man.

I was in there.

I was fighting
for you, man.

You going to go
say that shit now?

That wasn't right, man.
I didn't do shit.

I didn't do shit.

Yo, Willie.
Are you ok, man?

Yeah, man.

Y'all just stop thinking
about it, man.

Those guys were
assholes, all right?

Willie: wait a second.
Where you going?

I'm driving
into Manhattan, man.

Louie-Louie
was right.

The Bronx
is wack tonight.

Well, when you get to Harlem,
you can let me out.

What you got
against Manhattan?

Look, I wait all week
to hang out with you guys.

I'm usually in my damn,
funky apartment

sitting there
doing nothing,

bored all week.
Bored to death.

I die for these Fridays.

I want to hang out
with you guys.

I want to hang out
with my homeboys,

not some white people
from Manhattan.

Well, I'm driving
into Manhattan

and that's that,
man,

so just grow up
and deal with it.

[Hangin' with the homeboys
and Dr. feelgood playing]

* hangin' with
the homeboys *

* we're going to have
some fun tonight *

* hangin' with
Dr. feelgood *

* he's going to make us
feel all right *

* hangin' with
the homeboys *

* we're gonna have
some fun tonight... *

all right! Manhattan!

Let's get some
rich white women.

Yeah, that's what
you need, a white woman.

That'll make you feel
just great, won't it?

Yo, yo, yo,
fellas.

Y'all see that
building right there.

I auditioned for
a part in a TV movie

right there
just last week.

Seriously, Tommy?
So what happened, man?

They loved me, man.

They said I was
the best thing

that they've seen
in a long time.

They told you that?

When I was in
college, man,

I was the best actor
in my acting class.

They all looked up
to me like I was...

William shatner.

College? Tommy, I didn't know
you went to college, man.

Yeah, man,
i went to college.

I got a degree
and everything, boy.

Johnny: did you like it?

No. to tell you
the truth, it sucked.

It's like
a big stall, you know?

Big nothing.

I'll tell you, man,
i agree with Tommy, man.

I went to college.

What? you?

You went to college,
man? Ha ha.

What? hey, man. I went--
I'm a college man.

Pffft.
what?

I'm serious, man.

And I'll tell you
something, man.

It was the most
miserable, frustrating,

humiliating 2 weeks
of my life.

Yeah.

Yo, Tommy, man,

if--if somebody came up
to you, you know,

and said, uh, you know,

"I'm--I'm interested
in going to college,"

and you know,
and all that,

blah, blah, blah, blah...

What--what would
you tell him?

I'd tell them not to
waste their time, man.

I mean, you go
to school for 4 years,

you get that
stupid degree,

then you get out and get
the same lousy jobs

for the same
lousy pay, man.

It just ain't
worth it, man.

Yeah. yeah.

Yeah, you know, I see
what you're saying.

Oh, look where we're at!

Ha ha ho!

Tommy: yeah!
Manny-hanny!

[Laughs]

This is the life!
Bing! Yes!

Man: come on in.
It ain't no sin.

Yo, man.
You got a quarter?

Yeah, yeah,
i--i got a quarter.

You got a quarter?

Yeah, yeah,
i got a quarter.

I got a quarter.

Ow! man, watch it.

Ow!

Well, damn, they got
a little TV here

and everything.
That's cool, man.

Johnny, shut the fuck up.
Put the quarter in.

Cool it, man.
Watch your leg.

Johnny: I'm trying to get
the quarter in, all right?

Yo, man. Somebody's
rubbing up against me.

I don't like that shit.

Vinny: Tommy, you want
to borrow my super-condom

with nonoxynol-9 on it?

That shit
ain't funny, man.

Hey, man!
Watch it!

Oh, great, man.

This is great,
Tommy, man.

What happened?

Tommy knocked the quarter
out of my hand, man.

It's lying there
right by his foot.

Hey, Tommy, why don't
you bend down

and pick up
the quarter, man.

Yo, man, fuck you.

Come on, man.

I ain't bending down
in this fucking place.

You're crazy.

I'll get it, man.
I'll get it.

I can reach it.
I can reach it.

Oh, man!

Whoa! whoa!

Hey, yo,
watch your hand, man!

Oh, man,
this is stupid, man!

Come on, everybody out
of the fucking booth!

Come on. Get out of
the fucking booth.

Come on.
Let's go. Let's go.

Out of
the fucking booth.

Let's go. Out of
the fucking booth.

[Sighs] Johnny?

Johnny.

Did you get
the quarter, man?

Yeah, i--i got
the quarter.

Good.

Let's go.
In the fucking booth.

Let's go.

In the fucking
booth.

You in yet, man?

Lock the door.

Put it in.

Oh!

[Passionate moaning]

That girl
looks familiar.

Damn.

She's working it.

[Laughs]

Tommy: ohh!

What a gyp.

Gyp. gyp.

Hey, come on.
What the fuck?

We'll get
another quarter, man.

What the matter?
Come on.

Yo, Johnny.

Yo, man, what's up?

Damn, man. I knew that boy
was scared of pussy,

but this is ridiculous.

Yo, man. You want
to talk about it?

Whatever it is, it
can't be that bad.

What happened? Did vinny
fart in the booth?

[Laughing]

That's funny.
That's funny.

I'm gonna tell you
what happened.

What happened
was the boy saw a pussy

and went into stitches,
and you know what?

He ain't never
gonna recover either.

Come on, vinny.

Everybody's seen a pussy
by the time they're 18.

Nah. nah, man.
I'm serious.

There's a lot of real
late bloomers out there, man.

Watch this, watch this.

Hey, Johnny. Johnny.

Which way
do a pussy go, man?

Do it go like this
or like this?

[Laughing]

What are you
afraid of?

Aah!

[Horn blaring]

[Country music]
* you don't have to die

* to go to heaven...

Fucking asshole!

You could've got us killed,
you fucking asshole!

[Engine won't start]

Fuck!

Shit.

Man.

Fuck!

Ha ha!

You really fucked it up
this time, man.

Yo, man. Fuck you,
vinny, all right?

Fuck you!

Find a phone so I can
call a towing place.

You see that, huh?

He's gonna start with
that depression shit.

I give him 5 minutes
before he starts talking

about people starving
in China and shit.

Watch.

Man, would you
leave him alone?

Watch.

You all right,
man?

He's a fucking asshole, man.
He's a fucking asshole!

He could've got us
all fucking killed, man!

All right, man.
Take it easy.

It's ok.
We're all alive.

It's cool.

I--i just
feel stupid, man.

I'm just over here

caught up
in my own problems

when, hell, there's
people in China

who are starving
to death,

and I'm over here

feeling sorry
for myself.

Willie, tell me, man.
Just tell me.

Did you
ever know somebody

that you thought...

Was better than the
rest of the world

and looked different,

then you came to find
out that they're not,

that they're
actually even worse?

Who you talking about?
Fernando?

Hey, vinny, man.
It's vinny, all right?

Come on!

Now would you
shut the fuck up?

I'm not worried
about that clown, man.

I'm talking
about a girl, man,

a girl that I was once
really crazy about.

That's what
I'm talking about.

What made you
think of her?

'Cause
i saw her tonight.

She was in
that x-rated movie

we saw
at the peep show.

Ooh.

Was that the innocent
and virginal girl

you've been telling us
about for weeks?

Yeah.

That's her.
That's daria.

What made you think
she was innocent and virginal?

I don't know.
What do you mean?

What are you
talking about?

Did she come up to you
and tell you

that she was
innocent and virginal?

No, man. Come on. Who's
gonna come up to you

and say shit like that?

That's what
I'm trying to say.

You can't hate this girl

'cause she's not
what you want her to be.

Yeah, but--you don't
understand, man.

The way she was
acting, the way--

I just thought she was--

yeah, but that's
what you're thinking.

You can't blame her
for what you're thinking.

Stop trying
to turn this girl

into something
that she's not.

She's probably still
a good person.

I mean, if I was a girl

and I hated working
the way I do now,

I could see myself
up on that screen,

you know, naked,
shaking my ass.

Fuck that. You make a lot
of money doing that shit.

Sure beats
cleaning toilets.

You're crazy, man.

You're crazy.

Come on.

Tommy.

This is gonna
cost me a fortune, man.

I know it.

All right. So who's
Thomas mcneal?

Right here.

Here you go, Thomas.
We're open 24 hours.

You call me later,

and I'll give you
an estimate.

All right.

So where
are the keys?

I left them
in the ignition.

All right.

So what's the move?

We're going to
the subway or what?

Man: hey! Pay the fare!
Pay the fare!

Yeah, you over there!

The fare ain't
fair, uncle Tom!

[All yelling]

Help me! Help me!

Help me!

Help me! Help me!

Ok, fellas,
let's see some I.D.

What a night.
Ha ha!

[Both snickering]

Is there
something funny?

Hey, you guys,
cut it out, man!

[Laughing]

You find this
amusing?

Thomas mcneal.

Yeah?

What's
your profession?

I'm an actor.

Vinny: yeah.
Can't you tell?

He's acting like
he's terrified.

Yo, vinny, man. Stop
that shit. Damn, vinny!

[All laughing]

I have in my hand
an I.D. Card

with your picture on it.

But it says
Fernando cuevas.

Yeah, so?

So your friend over here
just called you vinny.

Yeah. so that's
a nickname,

that's all.

What's your nationality?

I'm puerto rican, man.

Oh, my god!

I can't believe it!
I never thought

I'd live to hear
you say that.

Why your friends

call you vinny?

It's a nickname,
that's all.

From Fernando to vinny?

Why isn't it
something like ferman

or fur ball
or something?

[Laughing]

It's vinny,
that's all.

Is he telling
the truth?

Well, I ain't say nothin'.
I don't know nothin'.

I asked you a question!

Why do you
call him vinny

if his name
is Fernando?

He thinks
he's Italian.

Thinks he's Italian?

[Laughing]

So you think
you're Italian, huh?

Let me tell you
something.

I'm Italian, ok?

You see that name?
Saninelli?

I'm Italian,

and I'm gonna
tell you something.

No matter what you do,

no matter
what you say,

you will never
be Italian.

Scum like you
could never be

in the same company
as me.

Now I'm gonna write you
a summons.

Vinny:
i got to tell you.

It's so easy, man,
to be a tough guy

when you got
a gun on one side

and a badge
on the other.

But I'm gonna tell you
something, man,

and I mean this.

They're nothing but
a bunch of punks to me.

You know,
i tell you what.

They're nothing
but a bunch of thugs

with a license,

and I hate 'em.

I swear to god,

I hate cops.

I fucking hate cops.

Yeah, me, too.

Could you pass me
the ketchup there,

Fernando cuevas.

Oh, you think
you're funny, right?

You think that's
funny, right,

you penniless
motherfucker.

Tommy:
come on, y'all.

Let's leave
fur ball alone.

[All laughing]

You gonna gang up on
me and shit, right?

[Johnny laughing]

[Stammering]
anybody want to donate

to the united negro--

vinny:
would you mind--

Johnny,
don't encourage him.

The guy
needs some money.

Hey, Willie,
what'd I tell you

about letting your
father out at night?

[Johnny and Tommy laughing]

Please.
let's go. Please.

Man: I just wanted
something to eat.

See that there, Willie?

Yeah. that there
is your future, man.

What?

That's right, man.
You keep up

with that putting me
down thing

and then your white man,
black man thing

and they oppress them.

You keep that up, man.

That's exactly the way
you're gonna wind up.

You think that
shit's funny, man?

Come on, Willie.
He's just goofing on you

'cause you
goofed on him, man.

I can't laugh
that shit off.

You think that shit
is funny?

You think I like
being the way I am?

You think I like
being scared not knowing

if I'm gonna make it
through the goddamn week?

That's not funny, man.
Don't play like that.

What is it
with you, man, huh?

What is it? Hmm?

What?

What. ha ha!
What is it with you?

You feel like there's
this beam of light

that shines on you
from god,

and then the rest of us,
we're all just fucked up?

Is that what you feel?

Yeah, I feel
that way sometimes.

You're an asshole.

Your mother's
an asshole.

Yo, man, you're
the fucking asshole.

Your whole family's
a fucking asshole!

Menu?

Girl: no, thanks.
2 coffees.

Second girl:
I'm so tired.

I've been working
all day.

Yeah, I know. I'm
so glad it's over.

We should go
play pool.

I love
watching you play.

You know, you're
really good at it.

I just like to
show off. That's why.

Vinny: hey.

How you doing?

So, being
that, um...

That you're the
most beautiful woman

sitting
at this table,

you know what I'm
gonna do for you?

I'm gonna devote
all my time,

all my attention
just to you.

Hey, hey!

You know, now that
i got rid of her,

you and I can talk,

because you're the one

I was really eyeing
all the time anyway.

No, thanks.

I have herpes.

Wait, wait, wait!

Nonoxynol-9...

Knock that shit
right out.

He a friend of yours?

No. well--no, no,
not really.

Uh-uh.

That's good to know,

'cause he's
a real asshole.

Well, you know what?

I just tried telling him
that a few minutes ago,

but he wouldn't
believe me.

I guess we think alike.

Yeah, maybe,

or just maybe
the whole world

thinks he's an
asshole, you know?

[Laughing]

What's your name?

What?

Do you have a name?

Oh, yeah. Um,
my name is--is Johnny.

Johnny, I'm Luna.

Hi. it's nice
to meet you.

You look kind of
familiar to me.

Haven't I seen you
in here before?

No. I doubt that.

Didn't I see you come in here
once with your girlfriend?

I doubt that, too.

So you don't have
a girlfriend.

No, not really.

Look, uh...

Lila and I are gonna
go shoot some pool

down the street.

Want to come?

Well, i--i gotta
ask my friends--

just talk
to my friends--

look, Johnny,

I don't want to marry you.

I just want
to play pool with you.

Come on.

[Music playing]

* I don't think that
the color's right *

* red, blue, red, black
into the light *

* someone tell me
why people change *

* I need vapor
at closer range... *

so tell me your
life story, Johnny.

You want to know
my life story?

My life story.

Well, uh...

There's actually not much
to tell at all, actually.

Do you like girls?

Yeah, I like girls.

Yeah, I like girls.
I like girls a lot.

I like girls.

Why do you
got to ask that for?

It's a start.

Wow. you're really good
at this, aren't you?

I didn't invite you
to play pool

so you could
watch me lose.

See, I paid for half
my college tuition

by beating
the pants off guys

who thought
they were hot shit.

Uh-huh. I see.

You're
a college girl, huh?

That's right.

Well, you know,
i know a lot of people

who said that
college really isn't

all that it's
hyped up to be.

They even actually said

that it's this
big waste of time.

Serious.

What idiots
told you that?

Well...

Those idiots over there.

You know
you're perpetrating

a fraud, right?

Excuse me?

You're perpetrating
a fraud.

You are what I call
a sad excuse

for a fine
African sister.

And what's that
supposed to mean?

What I mean is you're
dressing like a white--

you're hanging out
with this white girl,

and you even smell
like a white person.

You trying to call me
an uncle Tom?

Nah, nah. I'm calling
you aunt tomini.

You know, you got
a lot of balls.

Yeah, right.

You're saying that
'cause I'm black, right?

If I was a white guy,
I'd be speaking my mind.

Because I'm black,

got to have these big,
gigantic balls, right?

Look, man, I want
you to realize

that there's something
very, very strange

going on here tonight,

something
very, very strange.

Fucking
telling me, man.

Look at
the situation, ok?

Out of this whole
damn stuck-up place,

you got 2 girls who
could speak english.

One of them is
talking to Johnny,

and the other one's
talking to Willie.

No, no, no, no, no.

There's something
strange going on here.

Fuck these people, man.

So where
are you from, Luna?

Luna: all over.

I'm an army brat.

My dad
was in the service,

so we traveled
around a lot.

Oh, yeah? Where?

Germany, France,

Hawaii.

Wow!

Th-th-that's great.

Yeah. kind of
teaches you

there's this big,
beautiful world

out there
just waiting for you

to take
a bite out of it.

You know what I mean?

No, I don't know.

Tell me.

You got a lot of nerve
coming up to me,

someone
you don't even know,

pointing
your goddamn finger,

and you ain't done shit to
help yourself and nobody else.

Wait a minute, wait a
minute, wait a minute!

Have you gone
to any demonstrations?

No, but--

have you signed
any petitions?

I didn't have a pen,
so I didn't--

have you even bothered
to get off your lazy ass

and join any organizations?

Never did. But--

tell me. Do you vote?

No. i--i
missed this year

'cause dinkins
wasn't running.

But I'll catch--

and you're gonna tell me
I'm perpetrating a fraud?

You're the one that's
perpetrating a fraud.

I know what
this place needs,

a jammie.

Do a jammie?

Right here?

Right now?

Yeah!

[Laughing]

As usual,

I'm winning.

Must feel great to,
like, always win, huh?

Yeah.
it feels great.

I need something
like that.

I need something
that every time I did it,

I won, you know?

You know what I think?

I think everybody's
got that.

Just got to open up

and allow yourself
to find it.

Go ahead.

What are you
afraid of?

Vinny: you
fucked my wife!

Huh? you son
of a bitch!

You fucked my
wife, didn't you?

How dare you speak to me
in such an outrageous--

don't fucking
point at me!

Come on,
you motherfucker!

Come on! Come on!

What is going on?

Let's go out for
a little bit, huh?

What?

Vinny: get the fuck
out of here!

Get the fuck
out of--

what? what?

Yeah, yeah! That's
the guy! That's the guy!

He fucked your wife!
I was there!

And when he was done,
i fucked her.

Well, I guess

I'll have to give
you my number...

Or else we'll never
finish the game.

Yeah, well, y-you--
you would've won anyway.

I mean, you were just--

just very good at it,
you know?

Never know.

Your luck might change.

Here.

Why don't we...

Be friends.

How's that sound?

Sounds--sounds nice.

Sounds very, very nice.

Please make sure you
call the right number.

[Laughing]

All right, yeah.

I won't call
the wrong number,

I promise you. Ha ha!

[Door opens]

I will never
forgive you

for leaving me
in there

with those idiots.
Never!

Lila!

I'm sorry!

There's no excuse
for this. None!

Hey! hey!

[Whistles]

Did you ever figure out
where you saw me before?

Huh?

Remember you said that i
looked familiar to you?

What am I?
A piece of gum...

I've never
seen you before.

See, forget it.
Now you steal...

Lila!

Lila, come on!

Come on...

[Boys laughing]

Oh, shit!

Man, did you
see me in there?

I was brilliant, man.
Excellent.

What? you sucked.

What was all that
Shakespeare shit?

All that wither, hither,
yonder bullshit?

You sucked!

You wouldn't
know the difference

between a good actor
and a bad actor.

Yeah. but I know
the difference

between a bad actor

and an actor
that sucked.

Hey, Johnny!
Johnny, Johnny, Johnny!

What happened
with that chick, man?

She's gonna be
my friend, man.

She gonna be a what?

She's gonna be
my friend.

Willie:
get out of here!

[Tommy and Willie
laughing]

Friend?

Fucking...

You see, a good actor
reacts to a situation.

Did you see my eyes
when we were in there?

The way they kind of twitched
around when I was in the moment?

Your actin' sucks.
Your shit is fake.

Fuck you.
Your mama's fake, all right?

I almost had
a part in rain man.

Did you almost have
a part in rain man? No.

I almost played a waiter
in rain man.

By now I'd be famous, man.

People'd be stoppin'
in the streets goin',

"oh, shit.
Ain't that the brother

who played the waiter
in rain man?"

Tom: Vanessa.

Vanessa!

Yo, relax, Tom.
Be cool.

Tommy, no!

Don't do it, Tommy!
Don't do it!

Be mature about it, man.

Tommy?!

Yo, who the hell
is this guy, baby?

Baby?! baby?!

Tommy, stop it!

You're supposed
to be sick, Vanessa.

You look really sick.

Yo, what is it?

Just leave her alone,
all right, man?

Yo, I'm all right.
I'm all right.

Y'all can let me go.

Vanessa.

Can we go somewhere
and talk about this?

Look, let me have a minute
with him, ok?

You know this guy?!

Yeah.

You know, if there's
something going on,

why don't you just
tell me, all right?

Come on, please?
Just let me talk to him.

Ok. yeah, go ahead.

If you want me, I'll be
on the corner, all right?

Vanessa, I just--

I mean,
i don't understand.

I come out...

Guys, me and Vanessa
would like to talk.

Absolutely.

Sorry, man.

Sorry about that.

Look, Vanessa, I mean,

make me understand,
all right? I--

guys, can we have
some privacy?!

Let's go in this
building over here.

[Opera music plays]

Man, Vanessa,
i don't understand.

I mean,
i know I cared about you.

I don't know
what's happened.

You're not being fair.

Man, I've been
totally faithful to you.

Look, Tommy...

I'm not trying to be
a bitch, you know?

[Whispering]
she's a bitch.

Tommy, I really like
Frederick.

Frederick?

[Laughing]

I'm sorry.

Really.

Oh, shit!

Hey, man,
it'll take some time,

but you'll
get over it, man.

We always do.

Yeah, don't worry
about it, man.

All you gotta do
is just--

you go home.
You relax.

You chill out
for a little while.

Home? wait. No, no, no.
Wait a second, man.

That's the last thing
he needs to do.

He's gotta do
the exact opposite.

You gotta get out there,

see there's more women
out there,

pretty women, too, man,

because that Vanessa
nothing to scream at.

No, man, that's
not what he needs.

Not what he needs.
What you need, man, is--

look, if anybody knows
about depression,

it's me, right, man?

How do you know
what he needs, man?!

You don't know
what he needs.

You ain't
never been through

what he's been
through, all right?

'Cause you ain't never
had a girl in your life!

Heh heh heh.

So...why you gonna go back
into that shit again?

That's right, man.
Look at you tonight,

over there in that pool hall
with that girl, man.

She looked like she was
gettin' ready

to sit on your face.

You talkin' about,
she's gonna be your--

man, get the fuck
outta here.

You know, you wouldn't know
what to do with a girl

if she was standin'
in front of you naked.

See, now,
i know all about women.

I've been that route, man,

and I know what Tommy's
goin' through.

Yeah, yeah, right.
Yeah, right, man.

Well,
you think you know

what Tommy's
goin' through, man.

But--but you never cared
for any of them,

so you have no idea

what Tommy's going through
either, all right?

You think I've always
been like this, bro?

Yeah.

No, no, way, bro.

I used to fall head over heels
for women, man...

Every time.

You know
what I got in return?

Hurt...every time.

No more of that shit.

Those days are over.

Shit. I used to end up
lookin' all pitiful

like Tommy over here
and shit. Ha ha.

Yo, bartender, get my
pitiful ass another beer.

Oh, no, Tommy, you don't
need all that, man.

Come on. Let me take you
home. Come on, man.

Come on, Tommy,
let's get out of here.

Hey, man, why don't you let
the guy finish his drink, man.

What are you
worried about, man?

Let the boy finish his drink.

Let's go home, man.

Hey, man.
Let him finish his beer.

We going dancin'.

Look, it's
3:00 in the morning.

Fuck dancing.
Let's just go home.

Yeah, dude,
Willie's right, man.

Come on, Tommy.
Let's go. Let's get out of here.

Hey! hey, man! This is
my moment, all right?

I'm the one that's
upset here, man.

My girlfriend leaves me, man.
My car gets wrecked.

I'm the one that needs
my friends to console me.

This is my moment,
man. Mine.

Would y'all give me
my fuckin' moment

without one stupid fight?

He's right.

He's right, man.

This is Tommy's moment, man.
We forgot about that.

I mean, he's the guy
who's feelin' all depressed.

He's the guy who's feelin'
all bad and shit,

and we're over here thinkin'
about what we wanted.

We should want to do
whatever Tommy wants to do,

am I right?

I guess so.

Yeah.

Sure, man.

Tommy. Tommy.
Tommy, come here.

What?

Tommy, you're right, man.
This is your moment, man.

Whatever you want to do--
what do you want to do?

Huh? you want to go home
to an empty bed

feelin' sorry for yourself
all miserable...

Depressed?

Or you wanna go out to a club,
meet a new girl,

fuck the shit out of her,

and forget about Vanessa's
stink hole ass?

What do you wanna do?

I wanna get me
some pussy.

Hey, man,
what's happening?

So what's the cover
charge tonight?

All of you guys
are together?

Yeah, we're together.

Ok, I wanna see 3 pieces
of I.D. From everybody.

3 pieces of I.D.?

Who the hell carries
3 pieces of I.D.?!

Word, man.
We got busted by the cops.

We didn't need
but one piece of I.D.

All right, look, fellas.

You're blockin'
the door, huh?

Now please leave.

This is racist bullshit!

I--i might have
3 pieces of I.D.

What do you guys
have?

Yo, Johnny, man, you can have
a signed statement from god.

You're not gettin'
in this place tonight.

Oh, yeah?
Let's see. Let's see.

I got 3 pieces
of I.D. Right here.

You want
to check 'em out?

None of those
are valid I.D., huh?

What are you talkin' about,
they're not valid, man?

They're valid.

This is
racist fuckin' bullshit.

Come on. Let's go.

No, I'm not gonna
stand for this.

I'm not going
for this no more.

This is fuckin'
racist bullshit!

Hey, you better put this dog
back on his leash

before I hurt him.
You understand?

Fuck you! Fuck you
and your fuckin' club!

I'm organizing a rally,

and I'm fuckin' callin'
al sharpton tomorrow!

Yeah, get the hell
outta here, huh?

Get him outta here,
will you?

I'm organizing a rally!
I'm marchin'!

I'm marchin' all over
your fuckin' head!

Get off me, man!

Take it easy, bro! Man!

No, I'm serious. I'm calling
fat-ass al right now.

Where's a phone?

Yo, man, chill out, man.

Somebody give me a quarter.
I ain't got no money.

Psst!

Come here, man.

Ah! come on, man.

Well, you guys want to get
into the club tonight, man?

Vinny: yeah.

Well, I can
get you in, man.

I know a way.

Willie: yeah? How?

It'll cost you
$5.00 apiece, man.

Oh, come on, guys.
Let's go, man.

It'll cost you 18
at the door, my brother.

And that's if they
let you in at all, man.

Yeah, but how can we be sure
that your way's gonna work?

I give back
your money, man.

I'm not a crook.
Just a businessman.

Ok, everybody,
give up 5.

Um...fellas...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, man.
I hear you.

I got it. I got it.

Ok, let's go party, hmm?

Come on.

Oh, now,
what is this?

You guys want
to get in or not?

Yeah.

Damn. look at
all this rust.

Man.

Go ahead.

In there?!

Yeah,
go ahead in there.

Where's
the rasta man, man?

I don't know.

I hear some music.
Hold on.

You hear it?

Come on.

[Music grows louder]

All right!

Word, man. Let's
have a good time.

No, man.
Fuck a good time.

I want some pussy.

Let's have fun,
all right, this time?

Yo, man, fuck fun.

I want some pussy.

That's my boy.
That's my boy.

Come on. Let's go.

Excuse me.

I was just standing
right over there,

and I took
one look at you,

and I thought, "man.
What a beautiful woman,"

but it was more than
that, you know?

It was style.

Hello, darling.

You're looking
quite lovely tonight.

Would you
care to dance?

No. thank you.

And I'm thinking,
man, you know,

you're the only person
in this place

that I'd even waste my time
talking to, you know?

Because beauty is anybody,
but style is--

excuse me. Excuse me.

You know, I was just
standing right over there,

and I took one look
at you, and i--

hey, would you like to join me
in a dance, sweetheart?

No, thank you.

A screwdriver and I want
a Tom Collins, ok?

Ok. $15.

Excuse me?

$15.

$15 for 2 drinks?

Damn. what do they
put in there?

Diamonds and shit?

You want the drinks
or not?

How do you expect a poor man
to pay for drinks like this?

That's class discrimination.

Well, that's appropriate.

You look like
you have no class.

Oh, I guess you think
i want to dance with you, huh?

Well, guess what, big head,
i wouldn't dance with you

even if you didn't look like
a saber-toothed tiger, bitch!

What do you think
about that?!

Oh, shit.
Fuckin' movie star.

Now, you know, baby,

you know you gotta
give me a dance, right?

Sure. love to.

Come on.

All right. Ok, bye.

Hey, rasta man.

What's happenin', man?

Hey, man.
How you doin', man?

So I could drive
the fellows home tonight.

Oh, yeah?

Well, where you live,
man?

[Rap music playing]

Ah, man! Go!

Get 'em, vinny!

Yeah!

No! vinny! Go, vinny!

Go, vinny!

Motherfucker!

Get off her, man.

Johnny,
get out of here, man.

Get off her, man.

Johnny, what the fuck
you doing?!

Johnny!

What the fuck is the
matter with you, man?!

You want me to
kick your ass or what?!

Yeah, come on.
Kick my fuckin' ass.

Johnny,
what are you doing?!

What the fuck am I doing?!
What the fuck am i--

what the fuck
are you doing?!

What are you talking about?!
You don't own me!

What the fuck is the
matter with you, man?!

You want me to kick
your ass, motherfucker?!

Fuck you, man!
Fuck all of you!

Oh, you motherfucker!
Come on. Get off me, man!

You know who's responsible
for this?

I said,
get the fuck off me!

Cool out!
Get off me!

I ain't lettin' you go
till you calm the fuck down.

Now, chill out!

All right. I'm ok. I'm
all right. I'm all right.

You all right?

I'm fine. Let me go.
I'm ok. Thanks a lot.

I'm all right. Thanks.

Hey, Johnny,
come here.

Hey, come here,
Johnny.

Stay away from me, man.
I'm not playin' with you.

What was that shit
all about, man?

Huh? what was that shit
all about?

I'm talkin' to you, bro!
What was that all about?!

I'm talkin' to you, man!

Man, the girl
you were dancing with?

That's the girl I'm
crazy about, all right?!

She's the girl
i cared about, man,

so just leave me the fuck
alone, all right?

I'm really angry. Just
leave me the fuck alone.

That's the girl
you were crazy about?!

Fuckin' girl works
for x-rated movies, man.

You can see her fuckin'
guys for 25 cents.

25 cents! Least she could do
is charge a full dollar!

Man, why don't you
go back

and dance with her,
all right, man?!

I don't need her.
Why don't you go back?

You can have her.

Just leave me the fuck
alone, all right?!

Now you saying that shit after
you fucked up my whole night!

Why don't we just take
the whole fuckin' night

and keep recycling that shit
over and over again, man!

Don't mean nothin' to you,
all right?

'Cause I deserve
a lot fuckin' better,

but you don't,
motherfucker!

I'll tell you what you deserve,
motherfucker.

Get off me, man!

What you deserve is
a fuckin' kick in the ass.

Who the fuck do you
think you are, man?!

What? do you think
you're better than me, man?!

You think
you're better than me?!

You're just a fuckin'
piece of shit!

You're just like
the fuckin' rest of us, man.

You're just a fuckin'
piece of shit.

What are you afraid of?!

Not you, Fernando!

Oh, you motherfucker.
Come here!

$10, my brother.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, man.

Man, I can't believe Johnny
and vinny just left us

in that club
all by ourselves, man.

Yo, Bobby,
what's happenin'?

What's up, Bobby?

Yo, fellas,
what'll it be?

Uh, let me get
a ham and egg on a roll, man.

Make that to go.

Right.

I'll have a...

Yo, Tom, man.

You know.

No, I don't know,
man, what?

You not gonna
put me down, man?

Didn't you just see me
give the rasta $10?

You didn't put nothing
in that.

I've been paying
for shit for you all night.

You got it, you got it.

Well, how do you think
i get it, man? I work for it!

So what you saying?

You want me to go work
for the white man, right?

You think the white man's
the only man hiring?

You give me
no consideration, man.

Man, I gotta pay rent.

I gotta get
my damn car fixed.

I'm an actor. I gotta get
my head shots, man.

I--i can't be--
i can't afford to be

paying for shit
for you every week.

Yo, man, I suggest you forget
about that actin' shit,

'cause you ain't got
no real talent anyway.

And with that money you could
buy me an egg sandwich.

What kind of shit
is that to say, man?

What kind of friend
are you?

You hang out with me
just to bum money,

then you tell me
i can't act?!

You and vinny, man,

y'all ain't nothing
but a bunch of users.

Who needs this shit,
man? Fuck all y'all.

Who needs
a friend like you?

You need a friend like me,

so I can teach you how
to be a real black man,

'cause I knew your name
was Tom for a reason.

Yo, Willie, you are just
a bum, man, all right?

A fuckin' bum!

I'm sick and tired of
your phony militant ass,

and I'm sick of vinny's
fuckin' put-downs.

And if Johnny wants to be
my friend, that's fine.

But if he doesn't, then
fuck him too, all right?

'Cause I'm a grown man,

and I can stand
on my own two feet.

Fuckin' bum!

Yo, I'm a bum? I'm a bum?

Fuck you! Fuck you!

Fuck you and your
fake actor bullshit!

Let me tell you
something, man.

I'm gonna fuckin'
make it.

You hear me?
I'm gonna make it.

And if by some small chance
i don't make it,

then I'm gonna die trying.

Which is more than I can say
about anything

you've ever done
in your life, motherfucker.

Fuck you!

Fuck you!
You ain't gonna make shit!

Just a piece of shit
like the rest of us!

Fuck you!

* lord have mercy

* my heart's in misery

* crazy about my baby

* yeah, yeah, yeah,
send her back to me *

oh, shit.

Excuse me.
Yo, yo, baby, come here.

I want to talk to you
for a second. Come here.

You know, you're lookin'
mighty good this morning,

but it's more than that.
You know what you got?

You got style. Really.

I mean, even your dog's
got style.

See, that's why i
wouldn't bother to talk...

Check it out,
check it out

* down and dirty,
partners in crime *

* you got the rock,
and I got the rhyme *

* I got your back
if you got mine *

* so let's swap our girls
one at a time *

* hangin' out
with one another *

* me and the dawgs,
the blue-eyed soul brothers *

* I drink Colt and old english
in 6 packs *

* you got a hog
with a fifth of Jack *

* my newfound friends
and homies to the end *

* let's find some freaks
and commit sin *

* in one room,
out the other *

* I ain't comin' round 'cause
the girl's a great lover *

* shake my hand, man,
and be my friend *

* and together we could make it
to the promised land *

* and get dead-ass drunk
and buck-ass wild *

* and kick it in the dark
for a while *

* hangin'
with the homeboys *

* we gonna have
some fun tonight *

* hangin'
with Dr. feelgood *

* he's gonna make us
feel all right *

* hangin'
with the homeboys *

* we gonna have
some fun tonight *

* hangin'
with Dr. feelgood *

* he's gonna make us
feel all right *

* coolin' in a crib
with nothin' to do *

* got on the telephone
and called the crew *

* who's flippin' out?
Makin' plenty of noise *

* just another night
hangin' with the boys *

* lookin' for the girl
to treat us all *

* the type of girl
to do it all *

* in the heat of the night
or the early morn *

* she gotta be right,
you know the one *

* who sittin' at a table
drinkin' out of the keg *

* lets us do what we want,
don't have to beg *

* she did us all
one crew at a time *

* the only girl
to make the sun shine *

* from the top of her head
to the shoes on her feet *

* she's the girl
we wanted to meet *

* so we did her
like bad boys should *

* she did the nasty
to Dr. feelgood *

* hangin'
with the homeboys *

* we gonna have
some fun tonight *

* hangin'
with Dr. feelgood *

* he's gonna make us
feel all right *

* hangin'
with the homeboys *

* we gonna have
some fun tonight *

* hangin'
with Dr. feelgood *

* he's gonna make us
feel all right *

listen to that bass.

How do you like
them guitars?

Do you like them drums?

I think it's about time
for my man Mr. mixx...

To cut it up!

Mixx.

Mixx.

Just mixx.

Just mixx.

Just mixx.

Just mixx.

* hangin'
with the homeboys *

* we gonna have
some fun tonight *

* hangin'
with Dr. feelgood *

* he's gonna make us
feel all right *

* hangin'
with the homeboys *

* we gonna have
some fun tonight *

* hangin'
with Dr. feelgood *

* he's gonna make us
feel all right *

* hangin'
with the homeboys *

* we gonna have
some fun tonight *

* hangin'
with Dr. feelgood *

* he's gonna make us
feel all right *

* hangin'
with the homeboys *

* we gonna have
some fun tonight *

* hangin'
with Dr. feelgood *

* he's gonna make us
feel all right *

Dr. feelgood,
2 live crew hangers,

see ya!