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♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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00:00:04,797 --> 00:00:08,083
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:08,167 --> 00:00:11,569
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,621 --> 00:00:14,539
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,607 --> 00:00:18,360
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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00:00:18,427 --> 00:00:21,363
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:22,964
♪ All the things that make us ♪
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00:00:23,049 --> 00:00:24,382
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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00:00:24,433 --> 00:00:26,148
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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00:00:26,173 --> 00:00:29,673
# Family Guy 10x23 #
Internal Affairs
Original Air Date on May 20, 2012
11
00:00:29,674 --> 00:00:33,174
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
12
00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:36,895
And now,
Quahog Channel 5 presents
13
00:00:36,963 --> 00:00:39,164
"Movie and a Bath
with a Guy Named Lou."
14
00:00:39,232 --> 00:00:41,216
Hey. It's Saturday night,
and you know what that means.
15
00:00:41,284 --> 00:00:43,034
We're gonna take a bath
16
00:00:43,102 --> 00:00:46,221
and watch the 1984
interesting movie, Gremlins.
17
00:00:46,289 --> 00:00:48,140
Now, the Gremlins are funny.
18
00:00:48,207 --> 00:00:49,808
I don't know
if those things are puppets
19
00:00:49,876 --> 00:00:51,459
or they put costumes
on dogs or something,
20
00:00:51,527 --> 00:00:54,146
but let's press "play"
and find out, huh?
21
00:00:54,213 --> 00:00:56,781
You can't get them things
wet, by the way,
22
00:00:56,849 --> 00:00:59,484
but don't worry,
this don't affect that.
23
00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,188
We interrupt this
program for some
24
00:01:03,256 --> 00:01:04,623
breaking news,
which is why
25
00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:06,258
I'm still
chewing a bagel.
26
00:01:06,325 --> 00:01:07,893
Mmm.
27
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:09,427
Just-just roll
the footage.
28
00:01:09,495 --> 00:01:11,096
A major drug bustin Quahog today
29
00:01:11,164 --> 00:01:14,516
as police seizedover 100 kilos of cocaine.
30
00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:15,817
Okay, I'm done.
31
00:01:15,902 --> 00:01:17,352
That's right, Joyce.Apparently,
32
00:01:17,436 --> 00:01:19,771
there were 100 kilosof cocaineright here in Quahog,
33
00:01:19,822 --> 00:01:22,107
and yet my guy can't get dick.
34
00:01:22,158 --> 00:01:23,742
Singled outfor special recognition
35
00:01:23,809 --> 00:01:25,443
in orchestratingtoday's drug bust
36
00:01:25,511 --> 00:01:27,495
was Officer Joe Swanson.
37
00:01:27,563 --> 00:01:30,282
It feels good to know that,
thanks to me and my colleagues,
38
00:01:30,349 --> 00:01:32,350
a lot fewer people
will be injecting cocaine
39
00:01:32,418 --> 00:01:34,286
into their penises tonight.
40
00:01:34,353 --> 00:01:35,353
Is that a thing?
41
00:01:35,421 --> 00:01:36,488
It's a great thing.
44
00:01:41,127 --> 00:01:42,527
Hey, thanks, everybody.
45
00:01:42,595 --> 00:01:44,996
Hey, guys.
Hey, Joe, I saw you on TV.
46
00:01:45,064 --> 00:01:46,798
Now I have to go
through the five stages
47
00:01:46,866 --> 00:01:48,133
of having a celebrity friend.
48
00:01:48,201 --> 00:01:50,168
Oh, you're on TV!
That's so cool!
49
00:01:50,236 --> 00:01:51,703
We're going right
to the top together.
50
00:01:51,771 --> 00:01:53,505
Oh, you think
you're better than us, huh?
51
00:01:53,573 --> 00:01:54,773
Just one
stroke of luck,
52
00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:56,107
and you're there
and I'm here.
53
00:01:56,175 --> 00:01:58,276
I'm sorry I overreacted.
Look, you got to be careful.
54
00:01:58,344 --> 00:02:00,345
You need someone looking out
for you, who knows you.
55
00:02:00,413 --> 00:02:02,347
Someone you can trust.
Give me some money!
56
00:02:02,415 --> 00:02:04,716
Man, that was some pretty
impressive police work, Joe.
57
00:02:04,784 --> 00:02:06,384
Thanks, Quagmire.
I'll be honest,
58
00:02:06,452 --> 00:02:08,887
it was nice to be acknowledged
by the chief for once.
59
00:02:08,955 --> 00:02:10,522
Usually, he's just
reminding me
60
00:02:10,590 --> 00:02:12,490
that whatever punk
I'm roughing up ain't worth it.
61
00:02:12,541 --> 00:02:15,794
You son of a bitch!
I ought to kill you right here!
62
00:02:15,861 --> 00:02:18,330
Hey! This punk's
not worth it.
63
00:02:18,397 --> 00:02:19,664
You're right.
64
00:02:22,201 --> 00:02:23,702
You're not worth it.
65
00:02:26,472 --> 00:02:29,524
So, listen, if you guys
aren't doing anything later,
66
00:02:29,592 --> 00:02:32,394
the chief's throwing me a little
party to celebrate my bust.
67
00:02:32,461 --> 00:02:34,763
I am going to let Quagmire
answer first.
68
00:02:34,830 --> 00:02:36,197
Yeah, I'll go.
I shall go, too.
69
00:02:36,265 --> 00:02:39,017
Oh, great. I'll see
you guys tonight.
70
00:02:42,571 --> 00:02:43,872
Oh, God, buddy, I'm sorry.
71
00:02:43,940 --> 00:02:44,973
You okay?
72
00:03:04,910 --> 00:03:06,811
You bastard!
73
00:03:31,704 --> 00:03:34,255
Well, now I've seen
Woodrow Wilson naked.
74
00:08:07,446 --> 00:08:10,398
Hey, Bonnie, I made a
major drug bust today.
75
00:08:10,466 --> 00:08:12,100
The biggest one the
force has ever seen.
76
00:08:12,167 --> 00:08:13,701
That's great, Joe.
77
00:08:13,769 --> 00:08:15,403
You don't seem
very excited.
78
00:08:15,471 --> 00:08:17,238
I mean, this is a
huge deal for me.
79
00:08:17,306 --> 00:08:19,540
The chief is even throwing
me a party tonight.
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00:08:19,608 --> 00:08:21,242
I don't know
if I can take another
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00:08:21,310 --> 00:08:22,977
evening of
sympathetic eye contact
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00:08:23,045 --> 00:08:24,979
from all
the other wives.
83
00:08:26,515 --> 00:08:29,284
Well, just so you know,
this is a really big deal.
84
00:08:29,351 --> 00:08:32,720
They even asked me to be a guest
on Muy Importante!
85
00:08:36,542 --> 00:08:38,977
Muy Importante!
86
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:45,199
Muy Importante!
87
00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:51,839
Muy Importante!
88
00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:55,410
Muy Importante!
89
00:08:55,477 --> 00:08:58,079
Muy Importante!
90
00:08:58,147 --> 00:09:01,482
A donkey just bit
a child in the hallway.
91
00:09:06,221 --> 00:09:08,423
Wow, I've never been
to a cop bar before.
92
00:09:08,490 --> 00:09:09,691
Yeah, look at
the bartender.
93
00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:11,526
I bet working here,
she's one of those women
94
00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:13,661
who's tough as nails
and good at giving sass.
95
00:09:15,531 --> 00:09:17,065
What will it be, fellas?
96
00:09:17,132 --> 00:09:19,434
I'd like to cram both your boobs
into a martini glass.
97
00:09:22,638 --> 00:09:24,572
I-I think she's just
a normal woman.
98
00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:26,407
To Joe Swanson!
99
00:09:26,475 --> 00:09:27,675
And the biggest
drug bust
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00:09:27,743 --> 00:09:29,010
in the history
of Quahog!
101
00:09:32,631 --> 00:09:35,450
Officer Swanson, I just wanted
to say congratulations.
102
00:09:35,517 --> 00:09:37,085
I'm Nora. I just joined the
force.
103
00:09:37,152 --> 00:09:38,436
Nice to meet you.
104
00:09:38,504 --> 00:09:40,438
Wow, I've heard
so much about you.
105
00:09:40,506 --> 00:09:42,340
You're like a legend
at the academy.
106
00:09:42,408 --> 00:09:44,042
Is it true you
got straight A's
107
00:09:44,109 --> 00:09:45,976
in Officer Henderson's
Overintensity Workshop?
108
00:09:46,028 --> 00:09:47,628
You're damn right I did!
109
00:09:47,696 --> 00:09:49,630
Well, you did some
great work today.
110
00:09:49,698 --> 00:09:51,332
And I mean
regular-person great,
111
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:52,667
not just
wheelchair-person great.
112
00:09:52,735 --> 00:09:54,502
Yeah, I guess.
113
00:09:54,570 --> 00:09:57,004
You seem a little distracted.
Is everything okay?
114
00:09:57,072 --> 00:09:59,574
Yeah, sorry,
I was just thinking about...
115
00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:02,143
someone should have come
tonight, but they didn't.
116
00:10:02,211 --> 00:10:03,811
Ah, it's nothing.
117
00:10:03,879 --> 00:10:05,213
That's good.
118
00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:07,482
Hey, Officer Swanson?
Yeah?
119
00:10:07,549 --> 00:10:09,951
You know how they say
never meet your heroes?
120
00:10:10,018 --> 00:10:11,936
Well, they don't say anything
about kissing them.
121
00:10:13,222 --> 00:10:14,856
Whoa!
122
00:10:14,923 --> 00:10:16,691
Geez, every cop
in town is here.
123
00:10:16,759 --> 00:10:19,227
I know. Who do you think is
taking care of the city?
124
00:10:19,294 --> 00:10:20,845
No.
125
00:10:20,896 --> 00:10:22,246
No.
126
00:10:22,314 --> 00:10:23,748
No.
127
00:10:23,816 --> 00:10:25,182
No.
128
00:10:27,069 --> 00:10:28,436
What the hell?
Come on!
129
00:10:28,504 --> 00:10:30,271
No drive. Is wet.
130
00:10:37,019 --> 00:10:38,736
Hey-hey, fun party
last night, Joe.
131
00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:40,605
You guys, I got something
to tell you.
132
00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:43,341
The weirdest thing happened
to me at that party.
133
00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:45,443
I got kissed
by this chick cop.
134
00:10:45,511 --> 00:10:47,845
No way! What's she look like?
Is she hot?
135
00:10:47,913 --> 00:10:49,280
Well, I don't know. Uh...
136
00:10:49,348 --> 00:10:51,482
Is Elizabeth Perkins hot?
137
00:10:51,550 --> 00:10:55,086
I... I, uh...
I-I don't... I don't know.
138
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:56,988
Way to go, Joe.
Did you bang her?
139
00:10:57,056 --> 00:10:59,123
What? Of course
not, Quagmire.
140
00:10:59,191 --> 00:11:00,458
I mean, I'm a
married man.
141
00:11:00,526 --> 00:11:02,060
I could never
cheat on Bonnie.
142
00:11:02,127 --> 00:11:03,094
Well, under normal
circumstances,
143
00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:04,328
you'd be right
to say that,
144
00:11:04,396 --> 00:11:05,463
but in this case,
145
00:11:05,531 --> 00:11:06,998
cheating would be
the only fair thing.
146
00:11:07,066 --> 00:11:08,466
What? What are you
talking about?
147
00:11:08,534 --> 00:11:10,868
Come on. Didn't Bonnie
have that affair in Paris?
148
00:11:10,936 --> 00:11:13,371
Oh, yeah. I don't want
to talk about that.
149
00:11:13,439 --> 00:11:15,239
Joe, how can I put this
delicately?
150
00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:18,710
He used his stinky French wiener
to defile her.
151
00:11:18,777 --> 00:11:21,746
Wow. That's a...
real hit above the belt.
152
00:11:21,814 --> 00:11:24,849
But I'm still not sure that's
a reason to betray Bonnie.
153
00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:27,285
Come on, Joe. Sleeping with
this girl wi even things up.
154
00:11:27,352 --> 00:11:29,737
You can't have that kind of
imbalance in your relationship.
155
00:11:29,805 --> 00:11:32,607
In fact, you owe it to Bonnie
to have sex with this woman.
156
00:11:32,674 --> 00:11:34,008
It's for the good
of your marriage.
157
00:11:34,109 --> 00:11:35,493
Yeah, you should
go for it, Joe.
158
00:11:35,561 --> 00:11:37,462
Secrets are what
keep a marriage fresh.
159
00:11:37,529 --> 00:11:39,197
I have a CB radio
in the basement.
160
00:11:39,264 --> 00:11:41,833
I go down there a couple times
a week to have CB sex.
161
00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:43,267
Lois has no idea.
162
00:11:43,335 --> 00:11:45,236
Breaker breaker one-nine.
What's your 20?
163
00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:52,577
Ah, it's so hot
just knowing you're in a truck.
164
00:11:55,614 --> 00:11:57,698
Good morning,
Officer Swanson.
165
00:11:57,766 --> 00:11:59,400
Oh, hey... Nora.
166
00:11:59,468 --> 00:12:01,135
Uh, listen, I...
It's okay, Joe.
167
00:12:01,203 --> 00:12:02,437
You don't need
to explain.
168
00:12:02,504 --> 00:12:04,439
I stepped over the line
at the bar last night.
169
00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:05,857
I'm... I'm sorry.
170
00:12:05,924 --> 00:12:07,525
It's not that I don't
find you attractive.
171
00:12:07,593 --> 00:12:09,460
I do. I just...
172
00:12:09,528 --> 00:12:10,995
I'm married and...
I get it.
173
00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:12,847
I totally
understand, Joe.
174
00:12:12,915 --> 00:12:14,949
Excuse me.
175
00:12:15,017 --> 00:12:16,050
Hello?
176
00:12:16,118 --> 00:12:16,951
Joe?
177
00:12:17,019 --> 00:12:17,985
Bonnie?
178
00:12:18,053 --> 00:12:18,953
Oh.
179
00:12:19,021 --> 00:12:20,388
I-I meant to call someone else.
180
00:12:20,456 --> 00:12:21,456
Oh.
181
00:12:21,523 --> 00:12:22,457
Yeah.
182
00:12:22,524 --> 00:12:23,958
So, how is everything?
183
00:12:29,231 --> 00:12:31,232
Didn't Bonniehave that affair in Paris?
184
00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:34,068
He used his stinkyFrench wiener to defile her.
185
00:12:34,136 --> 00:12:36,304
Didn't Bonniehave that affair in Paris?
186
00:12:36,371 --> 00:12:39,340
He used his stinkyFrench wiener to defile her.
187
00:12:39,408 --> 00:12:41,008
Hey, Quagmire,we're in Joe's head.
188
00:12:41,076 --> 00:12:42,527
Hey, let's mess with him.
189
00:12:42,594 --> 00:12:44,228
I'm going to leave a farttrapped in here.
190
00:12:46,882 --> 00:12:48,416
All right,let's get out of here.
191
00:12:50,552 --> 00:12:51,486
I want you.
192
00:12:51,570 --> 00:12:52,603
I want you, too.
193
00:12:52,654 --> 00:12:53,754
Come on.
194
00:12:53,822 --> 00:12:55,957
I have a little
place we can go to.
195
00:12:56,024 --> 00:12:57,758
Wow. I've
never seen a sofa
196
00:12:57,826 --> 00:12:59,126
in a bathroom
stall before.
197
00:12:59,194 --> 00:13:01,162
Well, I'm the only
one who comes in here,
198
00:13:01,230 --> 00:13:02,797
so I figured I'd
make it my own.
199
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:04,165
How are you enjoying
your steak?
200
00:13:04,233 --> 00:13:05,766
Mmm. It's delicious.
201
00:13:05,834 --> 00:13:07,735
Let me put another
log on the fire.
202
00:13:09,037 --> 00:13:10,171
Thanks, Joe.
203
00:13:10,239 --> 00:13:12,006
It was getting
a little chilly in here.
204
00:13:12,074 --> 00:13:13,674
That's 'cause you're
all the way over there.
205
00:13:13,742 --> 00:13:15,776
Well, let me
fix that.
206
00:13:17,145 --> 00:13:18,546
Oh, Joe.
207
00:13:18,614 --> 00:13:19,780
Oh, Nora.
208
00:13:19,848 --> 00:13:20,982
Did you bring
protection?
209
00:13:21,049 --> 00:13:22,216
Oh, don't worry.
210
00:13:22,284 --> 00:13:23,618
Nothing comes out
of the front.
211
00:13:27,789 --> 00:13:29,557
What a great day
for Joe and Bonnie.
212
00:13:29,625 --> 00:13:31,125
This is Kevin's
first birthday
213
00:13:31,193 --> 00:13:32,860
since he came home
from Iraq.
214
00:13:32,928 --> 00:13:34,662
Why does Kevin always sit
at the bus stop,
215
00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:36,197
but never gets on a bus?
216
00:13:36,265 --> 00:13:37,532
Please don't
bring that up.
217
00:13:37,599 --> 00:13:39,400
Don't bring
anything he does up.
218
00:13:39,468 --> 00:13:41,168
Hey, you guys.
219
00:13:41,253 --> 00:13:42,503
You're right on time.
220
00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:45,322
Kevin just woke up screaming
from his afternoon nap.
221
00:13:45,374 --> 00:13:46,707
Mom, it's my
birthday,
222
00:13:46,775 --> 00:13:48,042
and you invited
your friends.
223
00:13:48,110 --> 00:13:49,911
All yours are dead!
224
00:13:49,978 --> 00:13:51,312
Hey, guys.
225
00:13:51,380 --> 00:13:53,180
Uh, can I talk to
you for a second?
226
00:13:53,248 --> 00:13:54,549
I did something
terrible.
227
00:13:54,616 --> 00:13:56,551
Ah, hey, we've all
done terrible things.
228
00:13:57,853 --> 00:13:59,053
Attention, everyone.
229
00:13:59,121 --> 00:14:00,838
The plane is sinking,
so I need you all
230
00:14:00,906 --> 00:14:02,740
to proceed onto the
floating slide.
231
00:14:04,509 --> 00:14:05,960
Dear airplane people,
232
00:14:06,028 --> 00:14:08,429
I owe you one floating slide.
233
00:14:08,497 --> 00:14:10,698
And just so you know,the guy stewardess
234
00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:12,600
was angry gay, not happy gay.
235
00:14:12,668 --> 00:14:14,068
What does it say?
Nothing.
236
00:14:14,136 --> 00:14:16,103
Just instructions
and stuff.
237
00:14:16,171 --> 00:14:17,688
Oh, my God. You actually
went through with it?
238
00:14:17,756 --> 00:14:18,656
How was it?
239
00:14:18,724 --> 00:14:19,891
I don't know, you guys.
240
00:14:19,958 --> 00:14:21,259
I thought I would feel better
241
00:14:21,326 --> 00:14:22,960
after I slept with Nora,
but I don't.
242
00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:24,695
I just feel really guilty.
243
00:14:24,763 --> 00:14:26,731
And I'm not mad
at Bonnie anymore;
244
00:14:26,798 --> 00:14:28,566
I'm just mad at myself.
245
00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:30,668
Guys, am I the only one
who thinks it's weird
246
00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:31,869
talking about Joe
cheating on Bonnie
247
00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:33,354
in front of their baby?
248
00:14:33,422 --> 00:14:34,989
I think we can all benefit
249
00:14:35,057 --> 00:14:36,691
from a little strangenow and then.
250
00:14:36,758 --> 00:14:37,925
I know I will.
251
00:14:39,144 --> 00:14:40,678
Uh-oh.
252
00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:42,446
The baby monitor.
Wha...?
253
00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:43,881
The baby monitor.
254
00:14:43,949 --> 00:14:45,383
You cheated on me?
255
00:14:45,450 --> 00:14:46,817
I-I, uh...
256
00:14:46,885 --> 00:14:48,886
You bastard!
257
00:14:48,954 --> 00:14:50,521
Bonnie, please.
258
00:14:50,589 --> 00:14:52,189
After all
I do for you,
259
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:54,375
this is how
you repay me?
260
00:14:54,443 --> 00:14:56,611
Well, how do you think
I felt when I found out
261
00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:58,029
you slept with that
French guy, huh?
262
00:14:58,096 --> 00:14:59,864
I never slept
with Francois.
263
00:14:59,932 --> 00:15:02,033
What? But Peter said...
264
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:03,884
Lois, didn't you say
that Bonnie slept with him?
265
00:15:03,952 --> 00:15:05,319
No, Peter. I said
she wanted to.
266
00:15:05,387 --> 00:15:06,854
Damn it, Peter!
267
00:15:06,922 --> 00:15:08,139
Now, hold on.
268
00:15:08,206 --> 00:15:10,041
In my defense,
it is my experience
269
00:15:10,108 --> 00:15:12,610
that I am generally correct
about most things.
270
00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:14,245
You know what,
it doesn't matter.
271
00:15:14,313 --> 00:15:16,881
Bonnie's been driving me away
for some time now.
272
00:15:16,949 --> 00:15:18,883
What? Driving you away?
273
00:15:18,951 --> 00:15:22,687
Do you have any idea
how hard it is living with you?
274
00:15:22,754 --> 00:15:24,822
They still have
one of those TVs
275
00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:26,857
with the big, fat back.
276
00:15:26,925 --> 00:15:28,225
Maybe we should
all leave.
277
00:15:28,293 --> 00:15:29,126
No!
No!
278
00:15:29,194 --> 00:15:30,311
Everyone stays.
279
00:15:30,379 --> 00:15:31,879
I want this to
be a disaster.
280
00:15:31,947 --> 00:15:33,881
'Cause this has been
a long time coming.
281
00:15:33,949 --> 00:15:36,100
You care about nothing
except yourself.
282
00:15:36,151 --> 00:15:37,485
You son of a bitch.
283
00:15:37,552 --> 00:15:40,738
I got a license to operate
a sex crane for you.
284
00:15:40,806 --> 00:15:42,957
And I got earplugs so I
could put up with that
285
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,725
horrible voice of yours.
286
00:15:44,793 --> 00:15:47,261
I'm not an impressionist,
but you get the idea.
287
00:15:47,329 --> 00:15:51,632
I perform purification rituals
on my body after we have sex.
288
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:54,368
I find it cleanses
the immeasurable sadness
289
00:15:54,436 --> 00:15:56,303
of having lain with a wretch.
290
00:15:56,371 --> 00:15:57,538
I want a divorce!
291
00:15:57,606 --> 00:15:59,006
You got it!
292
00:15:59,074 --> 00:16:01,042
Sorry. I opened
some of the gifts.
293
00:16:08,351 --> 00:16:10,618
Does the Swanson divorce
mean that I
294
00:16:10,686 --> 00:16:12,320
have to go live
with Grandma and Grandpa?
295
00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:14,089
No, Chris, it does not.
296
00:16:14,156 --> 00:16:15,657
That doesn't even
make any sense.
297
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,058
Peter, I can't believe
298
00:16:17,126 --> 00:16:19,044
you would encourage Joe
to have an affair.
299
00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:20,495
Look, Lois, it's
in the Bible.
300
00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:21,930
What's in the Bible?
301
00:16:21,998 --> 00:16:23,298
I-I don't know.
302
00:16:23,366 --> 00:16:25,100
Doesn't that always
cover it somehow?
303
00:16:25,167 --> 00:16:26,835
Peter, you blew up
their marriage.
304
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:28,737
This was
a huge mistake.
305
00:16:28,804 --> 00:16:30,271
Well, we've all made mistakes.
306
00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:34,776
Eh.
307
00:16:38,381 --> 00:16:40,632
Why did the sign say
"not an exit"?
308
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,801
It should have just said
"gorilla door."
309
00:16:47,456 --> 00:16:49,507
So, it's really
over, huh?
310
00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:51,142
After all
these years?
311
00:16:51,210 --> 00:16:52,410
I'm afraid so.
312
00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:53,845
But let's be
honest, Peter.
313
00:16:53,913 --> 00:16:56,014
Bonnie and I seem
to have grown apart.
314
00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:57,348
Boy, I never would have seen
315
00:16:57,416 --> 00:16:59,200
this day coming
when we first met.
316
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:02,270
"Africa" by Toto was playing.
317
00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:04,823
♪ ♪
318
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:10,195
♪ I hear the drums
echoing tonight ♪
319
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,530
♪ But she hears only whispers ♪
320
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:16,518
♪ Of some quiet conversation ♪
321
00:17:19,171 --> 00:17:22,507
♪ I stopped an old man
along the way ♪
322
00:17:22,591 --> 00:17:25,660
♪ Hoping to find
some long forgotten words ♪
323
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:29,330
♪ Or ancient melodies ♪
324
00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:33,301
♪ He turned to me as if to say ♪
325
00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:37,889
♪ "Hurry, boy,
it's waiting there for you" ♪
326
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:45,730
♪ It's gonna take a lot
to drag me away from you ♪
327
00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:51,119
♪ There's nothing that a hundred
men or more could ever do ♪
328
00:17:51,186 --> 00:17:56,458
♪ I bless the rains
down in Africa ♪
329
00:17:56,525 --> 00:18:02,213
♪ Gonna take some time
to do the things we never had ♪
330
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:04,382
♪ Ooh, ooh... ♪
331
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:14,776
Lois, I know
how to get
332
00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:16,311
Joe and Bonnie
back together.
333
00:18:16,378 --> 00:18:18,213
Joe just told me
how he and Bonnie met.
334
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:20,632
So I figure, all we got to do
is find a way
335
00:18:20,699 --> 00:18:22,267
to recreate the magic
of that night.
336
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:23,551
Well, we better
do something soon,
337
00:18:23,619 --> 00:18:24,819
'cause I just
talked to Bonnie
338
00:18:24,887 --> 00:18:26,337
and she's already
on D-Date.
339
00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:27,906
What the hell's D-Date?
340
00:18:27,973 --> 00:18:29,407
Diarrhea Date.
It's filthy.
341
00:18:29,492 --> 00:18:30,925
But she found someone,
342
00:18:30,993 --> 00:18:32,827
and they're doing whatever
they do tomorrow.
343
00:18:32,895 --> 00:18:35,163
What the hell's
wrong with people?
344
00:18:36,899 --> 00:18:38,633
Thanks for inviting
me to lunch, Lois,
345
00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:40,668
but why are we eating
at a strip club?
346
00:18:40,736 --> 00:18:42,971
I know the waitress here
from water aerobics.
347
00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:44,906
She said she'd
give us 20% off.
348
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:48,242
All units, all units.
349
00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:50,044
We have a disturbance
at the Fuzzy Clam.
350
00:18:50,095 --> 00:18:51,212
This is Officer Swanson.
351
00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:52,597
What's the problem?
352
00:18:52,681 --> 00:18:54,849
Well, one of the dancers
was dancing with a guy
353
00:18:54,917 --> 00:18:56,968
and saying, "You're my favorite,
you're my favorite,"
354
00:18:57,052 --> 00:18:58,720
but now she's dancing
with another guy.
355
00:18:58,771 --> 00:19:00,104
That's not a crime.
356
00:19:00,189 --> 00:19:01,606
Well, shouldn't it be?
357
00:19:01,690 --> 00:19:03,090
I'll be right there.
358
00:19:07,196 --> 00:19:09,464
("Africa" by Toto playing)
359
00:19:09,532 --> 00:19:12,650
Boy, I haven't heard this
song in a long time.
360
00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:14,619
Police! What's going on?
361
00:19:14,703 --> 00:19:16,471
Bonnie?
362
00:19:16,539 --> 00:19:17,772
Joe?
363
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:18,957
What are you
doing here?
364
00:19:19,041 --> 00:19:20,124
I'm here with Lois.
365
00:19:20,209 --> 00:19:21,543
What are you doing here?
366
00:19:21,610 --> 00:19:23,411
I got a call.
367
00:19:23,462 --> 00:19:26,130
Is that... is that
"Africa" by Toto?
368
00:19:26,215 --> 00:19:27,615
Yeah.
369
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:29,133
That's our song.
370
00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:30,752
It is.
371
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:35,173
♪ But she hears only whispers
of some quiet... ♪
372
00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:37,592
Well, it seems like
things are fine here.
373
00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:39,644
Listen, Bonnie,
I, uh...
374
00:19:39,728 --> 00:19:41,729
I just want to
say I'm sorry.
375
00:19:41,797 --> 00:19:44,465
I was a real ass,
and I miss you.
376
00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:46,267
I'm sorry, too.
377
00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:49,437
I know I haven't been
that easy to live with lately.
378
00:19:49,488 --> 00:19:52,106
Okay.
379
00:19:52,157 --> 00:19:55,159
Well, I'm going
to go now.
380
00:19:55,244 --> 00:19:58,162
Joe, wait.
381
00:19:58,247 --> 00:20:01,032
You want a lap dance, mister?
382
00:20:03,168 --> 00:20:05,319
No. Sit down.
383
00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:07,589
I'm giving you one.
384
00:20:07,656 --> 00:20:11,325
♪ The wild dogs
cry out in the night ♪
385
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,177
♪ As they grow restless ♪
386
00:20:13,262 --> 00:20:17,765
♪ Longing for
some solitary company ♪
387
00:20:19,602 --> 00:20:20,718
Oh, Joe.
388
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,387
Oh, Bonnie.
389
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:25,189
♪ He turned to me
as if to say... ♪
390
00:20:25,274 --> 00:20:27,058
Can you ever
forgive me?
391
00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:28,843
It's going to take
some time, Joe.
392
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,979
Rest of your life okay?
393
00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:37,735
♪ It's gonna take a lot
to drag me away from you ♪
394
00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:42,874
♪ There's nothing that a hundred
men or more could ever do ♪
395
00:20:42,958 --> 00:20:46,377
♪ I bless the rains
down in Africa... ♪
396
00:20:46,462 --> 00:20:50,462
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
28574
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