Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,564 --> 00:00:04,754
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,879 --> 00:00:08,193
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:08,285 --> 00:00:11,354
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,405 --> 00:00:14,324
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,375 --> 00:00:18,244
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,329 --> 00:00:21,197
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,248 --> 00:00:22,782
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:22,850 --> 00:00:24,167
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,218 --> 00:00:29,506
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:36,176 --> 00:00:38,010
Our top story tonight,
we continue to track
11
00:00:38,078 --> 00:00:40,046
the progress
of Hurricane Flozell.
12
00:00:40,113 --> 00:00:41,347
The National Weather Service
13
00:00:41,415 --> 00:00:43,316
has issued a Severe
Hurricane Advisory,
14
00:00:43,383 --> 00:00:45,618
and is urging everyone
to stay indoors
15
00:00:45,686 --> 00:00:47,470
for at least the next 36 hours.
16
00:00:47,554 --> 00:00:49,972
No...! What happened?!
17
00:00:50,057 --> 00:00:52,391
The wind must have knocked
the satellite dish loose.
18
00:00:52,459 --> 00:00:54,961
Aw, crap. And I was
going to watch G.I. Jose.
19
00:00:57,197 --> 00:00:59,065
Oh, no! You cut
your forehead!
20
00:00:59,132 --> 00:01:00,283
What do we do?
21
00:01:00,367 --> 00:01:01,317
Hey, kids...
22
00:01:01,385 --> 00:01:02,652
if you have
an open wound,
23
00:01:02,719 --> 00:01:04,387
get some dirt
or kitty litter
24
00:01:04,454 --> 00:01:06,589
and rub it in there
to stop the bleeding.
25
00:01:06,657 --> 00:01:09,592
Then get some sleep and wait
for the body to heal itself.
26
00:01:09,660 --> 00:01:10,993
Now we know.
27
00:01:11,061 --> 00:01:14,664
And like I always say:
"Remember, you know enough."
28
00:01:14,748 --> 00:01:16,893
♪ G.I. Jose! ♪
29
00:01:16,894 --> 00:01:20,394
♪ Family Guy 10x02 ♪
Seahorse Seashell Party
Original Air Date on October 2, 2011
30
00:01:23,831 --> 00:01:27,331
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
31
00:01:36,232 --> 00:01:37,291
Nice.
32
00:01:37,292 --> 00:01:38,392
Brian, what are you doing?
33
00:01:38,460 --> 00:01:39,393
Geez, Stewie.
34
00:01:39,444 --> 00:01:40,912
Scared the crap
out of me.
35
00:01:40,979 --> 00:01:42,446
Whatcha got there?
36
00:01:42,531 --> 00:01:44,115
Okay, I'll tell you;
37
00:01:44,199 --> 00:01:45,449
but you can't tell anyone.
38
00:01:45,517 --> 00:01:46,918
All-All right? You have to
be really cool about this.
39
00:01:46,985 --> 00:01:48,119
Yeah, of course.
40
00:01:48,186 --> 00:01:49,537
These are mushrooms.
41
00:01:49,605 --> 00:01:51,088
It's a psychedelic drug.
42
00:01:51,173 --> 00:01:54,342
Makes you see weird things
and feel happy for a few hours.
43
00:01:54,409 --> 00:01:56,827
I figure we're going to be
stuck inside f a while
44
00:01:56,895 --> 00:01:58,796
with this storm,
so it'll be a fun way
45
00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:00,748
to pass the time.
Okay.
46
00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:02,166
Are you gonna be cool?
47
00:02:02,234 --> 00:02:03,551
Oh yeah, I'm totally
cool about that.
48
00:02:03,619 --> 00:02:05,086
I-I-I-I have a lot
of friends who do it,
49
00:02:05,153 --> 00:02:06,854
and they're willing to do
it around me all the time,
50
00:02:06,922 --> 00:02:08,306
because they know
I'm so cool about it
51
00:02:08,390 --> 00:02:09,523
and I don't judge them.
52
00:02:09,591 --> 00:02:11,909
So, you know,
go ahead...
53
00:02:14,947 --> 00:02:16,547
Well, here we go.
54
00:02:16,615 --> 00:02:17,832
Yup, that's what my
friends say, too.
55
00:02:17,899 --> 00:02:19,233
"Well, here we go."
56
00:02:19,301 --> 00:02:21,902
Oh... dude, I think
I can feel it, too.
57
00:02:21,970 --> 00:02:24,038
I'm gettin' a
context high.
58
00:02:34,716 --> 00:02:36,083
I'm bored.
59
00:02:36,134 --> 00:02:37,234
Yeah, this sucks.
60
00:02:37,302 --> 00:02:38,786
What are we supposed
to do all day?
61
00:02:38,837 --> 00:02:40,621
Well, how about
we play charades?
62
00:02:40,672 --> 00:02:42,423
Ooh! Yeah. O-okay.
Me first! Me first!
63
00:02:42,474 --> 00:02:45,109
Okay, it's a movie.
All right? Movie. Movie.
64
00:02:45,177 --> 00:02:47,061
Peter, there's no
talking in charades.
65
00:02:47,128 --> 00:02:48,145
O-Okay, sorry, sorry.
66
00:02:48,230 --> 00:02:49,563
Okay. (whispers) Movie.
67
00:02:49,631 --> 00:02:50,798
Peter!
Sorry. Sorry.
68
00:02:50,849 --> 00:02:52,333
Okay, one word.
69
00:02:52,401 --> 00:02:53,901
Peter, you're still talking!
70
00:02:53,968 --> 00:02:54,902
Okay, okay.
Right, right, right.
71
00:02:54,969 --> 00:02:57,137
Fletch.
72
00:02:57,189 --> 00:02:59,323
Is it Fletch?
It is Fletch.
73
00:03:04,179 --> 00:03:05,913
What do you
wanna do now?
74
00:03:05,981 --> 00:03:07,148
I got an idea.
75
00:03:07,215 --> 00:03:08,349
How about you all
sit there quietly
76
00:03:08,417 --> 00:03:09,684
while I make "Dad" noises?
77
00:03:27,002 --> 00:03:28,235
Brah-ha-hah!
78
00:03:28,303 --> 00:03:30,538
Brah-ha! Brah!
79
00:03:37,279 --> 00:03:38,379
Schumai.
80
00:03:45,654 --> 00:03:46,787
Myah!
81
00:03:48,022 --> 00:03:50,541
... go to the john.
82
00:03:58,133 --> 00:04:00,367
Boy, the rain's
really comin' down.
83
00:04:00,435 --> 00:04:02,536
I know, I've never seen
anything like it.
84
00:04:02,604 --> 00:04:05,873
But it's kinda nice for us all
to be together like this, huh?
85
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:35,569
♪ ♪
86
00:04:54,372 --> 00:04:55,823
So, what do you guys
wanna do now?
87
00:04:55,891 --> 00:04:58,258
Oh, hey, I know!
Let's play finger-bang.
88
00:04:58,310 --> 00:04:59,477
Bang! Bang!
89
00:04:59,561 --> 00:05:00,895
I'm gonna finger-
bang you, Chris.
90
00:05:00,946 --> 00:05:03,280
Not if I finger-bang
you first, Dad!
91
00:05:03,365 --> 00:05:04,765
Bang! Bang!
92
00:05:04,816 --> 00:05:07,201
I'm gonna finger-bang
the two of you at the same time.
93
00:05:07,285 --> 00:05:09,703
Bang! Bang!
Hey, me too! Bang!
94
00:05:09,788 --> 00:05:11,989
Oh, no one wants to get
finger-banged by you, Meg.
95
00:05:12,073 --> 00:05:13,958
Why don't you just go
do that to yourself, Meg?
96
00:05:14,025 --> 00:05:15,392
I think I'm gonna be sick.
97
00:05:17,445 --> 00:05:18,746
Brian?!
98
00:05:18,814 --> 00:05:20,414
I'm gonna cut
my ear off
99
00:05:20,482 --> 00:05:22,082
to prevent
World War Two.
100
00:05:24,336 --> 00:05:25,619
Oh, God! Oh, God!
101
00:05:32,110 --> 00:05:33,677
I wonder...
102
00:05:35,564 --> 00:05:36,647
Aha!
103
00:05:43,734 --> 00:05:45,502
What the hell
were you trying to do, man?!
104
00:05:45,569 --> 00:05:47,254
Those mushrooms
are messin' you up!
105
00:05:47,338 --> 00:05:51,341
Lesbians and deaf women
wear the same clothes.
106
00:05:51,442 --> 00:05:52,709
Yeah, yeah, they
sure do, buddy.
107
00:05:52,777 --> 00:05:54,378
All right,
just stay calm, Brian.
108
00:05:54,445 --> 00:05:55,646
You'll get through this.
109
00:05:55,713 --> 00:05:58,215
I mean, you got through
seeing Lady Gaga naked.
110
00:05:59,867 --> 00:06:02,703
Okay, five minutes, Miss Ga--
gina big!
111
00:06:02,770 --> 00:06:04,721
And I will be right
back with your Evian.
112
00:06:04,772 --> 00:06:06,223
Don't worry, Brian.
113
00:06:06,274 --> 00:06:08,275
I'm gonna stay
by your side all night.
114
00:06:08,359 --> 00:06:10,310
All right? Shh. Shh.
115
00:06:10,395 --> 00:06:11,979
It's okay. It's okay.
116
00:06:12,063 --> 00:06:14,748
Do you like
my soothing voice?
117
00:06:14,816 --> 00:06:17,484
Do you like my soothing voice?
118
00:06:17,568 --> 00:06:20,287
Re-re-re-re-return the map.
119
00:06:20,371 --> 00:06:25,225
Re-re-re-re-return
what you have stolen from me.
120
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:30,497
♪ ♪
121
00:06:30,581 --> 00:06:33,300
No...!
122
00:06:41,042 --> 00:06:42,643
Oh, hey, I got an idea.
123
00:06:42,710 --> 00:06:43,910
Let's have a sing-a-long.
124
00:06:43,978 --> 00:06:46,747
Okay, I'm gonna sing
the opening chase music
125
00:06:46,814 --> 00:06:48,949
from Indiana Jonesand the Last Crusade.
126
00:06:49,017 --> 00:06:51,068
Feel free to join in.
127
00:07:13,825 --> 00:07:15,225
♪ ♪
128
00:07:43,121 --> 00:07:45,005
Dammit, Meg! Will you stop that?!
129
00:07:45,073 --> 00:07:46,323
That is so annoying!
130
00:07:46,391 --> 00:07:47,874
Oh... that was annoying?!
131
00:07:47,942 --> 00:07:49,993
What about your stupid,
obnoxious humming?!
132
00:07:50,061 --> 00:07:51,895
Meg, don't talk
to your father like that!
133
00:07:51,963 --> 00:07:53,480
Yeah, shut up, Meg.
134
00:07:53,548 --> 00:07:55,315
No! You shut
up, Chris!
135
00:07:55,383 --> 00:07:57,718
I am sick of all you guys
ganging up on me!
136
00:07:57,785 --> 00:08:00,253
You guys all think you're
so much better than me!
137
00:08:00,321 --> 00:08:03,190
Oh, Meg. That is
the least fancy thing
138
00:08:03,257 --> 00:08:04,791
I have ever heard.
139
00:08:11,182 --> 00:08:12,715
Shh. There, there, there.
140
00:08:12,767 --> 00:08:14,518
Everything's gonna be fine.
You're all right.
141
00:08:14,569 --> 00:08:16,052
I think I'm...
I think I'm dying.
142
00:08:17,054 --> 00:08:18,438
Jane Fonda.
143
00:08:18,506 --> 00:08:21,441
Is that... i-i-is that...
is that... is that right?
144
00:08:21,526 --> 00:08:23,827
Yeah, that's right, buddy.
Totally Jane Fonda.
145
00:08:23,894 --> 00:08:25,028
It's gonna be okay.
146
00:08:25,079 --> 00:08:27,247
Your pal Stewie
is right here.
147
00:08:30,668 --> 00:08:32,786
Just relax...
148
00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:38,408
and get some
rest...
149
00:08:53,441 --> 00:08:55,442
Brian.
150
00:08:56,594 --> 00:08:58,562
Hide!
151
00:08:58,613 --> 00:09:04,151
♪ The wheels on the bus
go round and round ♪
152
00:09:04,235 --> 00:09:05,986
♪ Round and round ♪
153
00:09:06,070 --> 00:09:08,738
♪ Round and round ♪
154
00:09:08,806 --> 00:09:14,010
♪ The wheels on the bus
go round and round ♪
155
00:09:14,061 --> 00:09:17,681
♪ All through the town ♪
Peanut!
156
00:09:19,717 --> 00:09:22,853
Peeper...
157
00:09:40,488 --> 00:09:45,158
Wanna have (hissing) sex...?
158
00:09:54,652 --> 00:09:57,287
Groggety!
159
00:10:10,384 --> 00:10:13,436
Slip... me some tongue.
160
00:10:13,504 --> 00:10:16,523
Did you try the chicken, buddy?
161
00:10:16,607 --> 00:10:18,808
I think you gave me worms,
Brian.
162
00:10:33,524 --> 00:10:36,226
Brian...
163
00:10:37,895 --> 00:10:40,530
Brian...
164
00:10:40,581 --> 00:10:43,550
Brian...
165
00:10:43,634 --> 00:10:46,303
Brian...
166
00:10:46,370 --> 00:10:48,038
Brian!
167
00:10:48,105 --> 00:10:50,657
Brian.
Uh, Stewie.
168
00:10:50,725 --> 00:10:52,175
Eh, uh... Stewie?
169
00:10:52,226 --> 00:10:53,310
Yeah, I'm right here.
170
00:10:53,377 --> 00:10:55,178
Oh, my God. Your lip
looks really weird.
171
00:10:55,229 --> 00:10:56,446
Can we fix that?
172
00:10:56,514 --> 00:10:59,849
L-Let's get that
out of there. Ew.
173
00:10:59,917 --> 00:11:01,601
Oh, I'm so thirsty.
174
00:11:01,686 --> 00:11:04,554
Let's get you downstairs
so you can drink some water.
175
00:11:07,341 --> 00:11:09,859
All right, let's go, buddy.
Let's get you some water.
176
00:11:11,562 --> 00:11:12,896
Okay, now-- Now, h-h-hold on.
Hold on.
177
00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:15,065
Let me put the bowl down first.
You're gonna spill it.
178
00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:19,970
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Slow down. Slow down.
179
00:11:20,037 --> 00:11:22,205
Look, Meg, I don't know
what your problem is.
180
00:11:22,273 --> 00:11:24,090
I thought Dad's humming
was pretty entertaining.
181
00:11:24,175 --> 00:11:26,009
You know what?
This is what I'm talking about.
182
00:11:26,076 --> 00:11:27,627
This is a perfect example.
183
00:11:27,712 --> 00:11:29,045
You're my brother.
184
00:11:29,113 --> 00:11:30,547
You're supposed to
be on my side,
185
00:11:30,615 --> 00:11:32,081
and you're such
a bastard to me.
186
00:11:32,133 --> 00:11:33,700
How am I a bastard?!
187
00:11:33,768 --> 00:11:35,468
Oh, you want the full story?
188
00:11:35,536 --> 00:11:37,203
Meg, please.
Not now, Mom.
189
00:11:38,606 --> 00:11:40,707
I think Brian's getting
a little water in there.
190
00:11:40,775 --> 00:11:43,843
Chris, you treat me like you hate
me, and I don't know why.
191
00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:45,979
You say hurtful things
to me constantly.
192
00:11:46,063 --> 00:11:48,231
Do you have any idea
what that feels like?
193
00:11:48,299 --> 00:11:49,933
What if I said
those things to you?
194
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:52,369
What if I started calling
you a fat, zitty loser,
195
00:11:52,436 --> 00:11:53,903
who has no friends
196
00:11:53,971 --> 00:11:56,339
and smells like an old woman
who has birds for pets?
197
00:11:56,407 --> 00:11:58,241
Still drinkin'.
198
00:11:58,309 --> 00:11:59,709
Is it too much to ask
199
00:11:59,777 --> 00:12:02,145
to be treated with a little
decency from my brother?
200
00:12:02,213 --> 00:12:04,914
Maybe show me some
kind of kindness by not jumping
201
00:12:04,982 --> 00:12:07,250
on the "Let's get Meg"
family bandwagon?
202
00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:10,186
Aw.
203
00:12:10,254 --> 00:12:11,838
Alright, Meg,
that's enough.
204
00:12:11,922 --> 00:12:13,974
You've had your little
dramatic outburst.
205
00:12:16,010 --> 00:12:17,727
Hey, I got an idea, Mom.
206
00:12:17,795 --> 00:12:19,646
How about we talk about
Chris' mother? Huh?
207
00:12:19,730 --> 00:12:21,598
Why don't we talk about you?
208
00:12:21,666 --> 00:12:23,183
Oh, for God's sake.
209
00:12:23,267 --> 00:12:25,301
Look, let's not turn this
into some big thing, okay?
210
00:12:26,487 --> 00:12:28,905
Oh... Oh...
211
00:12:28,972 --> 00:12:31,074
Oh, God, that feels
so much better.
212
00:12:31,142 --> 00:12:33,076
You know, Brian,
you may be a dog,
213
00:12:33,144 --> 00:12:35,111
but you're a
pretty cool cat.
214
00:12:35,179 --> 00:12:36,313
♪ Stewie just said that! ♪
215
00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:37,447
Take it home with ya!
216
00:12:38,683 --> 00:12:40,483
Hey...
217
00:12:40,534 --> 00:12:42,502
Hey, everyone.
218
00:12:42,570 --> 00:12:44,788
I'm sensing a lot
of negativity here.
219
00:12:44,855 --> 00:12:46,122
What's going on?
220
00:12:46,173 --> 00:12:48,625
Yes. You're right,
Brian. There is.
221
00:12:48,676 --> 00:12:50,927
Meg seems to think she's
taking some kind of stand here
222
00:12:50,994 --> 00:12:52,679
that's gonna make us all
feel like we're inadequate.
223
00:12:52,747 --> 00:12:54,981
My God, you're condescending.
224
00:12:55,049 --> 00:12:57,517
Geez, look at those two.
They're goin' at each other
225
00:12:57,601 --> 00:12:59,302
like an Italian guy
and a black woman.
226
00:13:01,972 --> 00:13:03,940
Hey, you can't park here!
227
00:13:04,007 --> 00:13:05,825
Excuse me?
228
00:13:05,893 --> 00:13:07,744
Having been officiallychallenged by her
229
00:13:07,812 --> 00:13:10,430
natural enemy, the black femaleprepares for combat
230
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:12,449
by taking off her many rings.
231
00:13:12,516 --> 00:13:15,485
Meanwhile, the Italian malelooks around to make sure
232
00:13:15,536 --> 00:13:17,320
the other Italianmales are indeed
233
00:13:17,371 --> 00:13:19,906
seeing what he is seeing.
234
00:13:19,990 --> 00:13:22,692
Sensing the impendingbattle, a flock of Jews
235
00:13:22,743 --> 00:13:25,628
flies quickly away,as avoiding confrontation
236
00:13:25,696 --> 00:13:27,580
is their bestchance for survival.
237
00:13:27,665 --> 00:13:29,416
♪ ♪
238
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:35,739
Look, the bottom line here,
Meg, is that you're just
239
00:13:35,806 --> 00:13:38,040
taking your own problems
out on everyone else.
240
00:13:38,092 --> 00:13:39,559
Oh, my problems?
241
00:13:39,643 --> 00:13:40,877
Oh, I see.
242
00:13:40,928 --> 00:13:43,263
Is this coming from
my role model mother?
243
00:13:43,347 --> 00:13:44,764
The shoplifter,
the drug addict,
244
00:13:44,849 --> 00:13:47,150
the porn star, the whore
who let Gene Simmons
245
00:13:47,217 --> 00:13:48,685
and Bill Clinton
go to town on her?
246
00:13:48,736 --> 00:13:50,403
Oh, so what?
247
00:13:50,488 --> 00:13:52,522
All those things
are behind me now.
248
00:13:52,573 --> 00:13:55,358
I'm a better person now
because of those experiences.
249
00:13:55,409 --> 00:13:57,444
Are you?
Are you a better person?
250
00:13:57,528 --> 00:13:59,779
What's your point, Meg?
My point is that with
251
00:13:59,864 --> 00:14:01,564
all the irresponsible, reckless,
252
00:14:01,615 --> 00:14:04,501
idiotic behavior in
your past, that somehow,
253
00:14:04,568 --> 00:14:09,172
somehow you have the nerve,
the arrogance to consistently
254
00:14:09,239 --> 00:14:11,574
and ruthlessly point
out my shortcomings.
255
00:14:11,625 --> 00:14:13,293
Alright, well, fine, okay?
256
00:14:13,377 --> 00:14:15,295
I'm not the perfect mother.
Who is?
257
00:14:15,379 --> 00:14:17,914
Oh, not only are you
not the perfect mother.
258
00:14:17,965 --> 00:14:19,966
You're the farthest thing from.
259
00:14:20,050 --> 00:14:23,586
From the moment you gave birth
to me, I had to trust you.
260
00:14:23,637 --> 00:14:25,588
I had no choice.
261
00:14:25,639 --> 00:14:27,524
I needed you to protect
me from the world.
262
00:14:27,591 --> 00:14:30,310
To... to be my guide, to help
me navigate the difficult,
263
00:14:30,394 --> 00:14:34,063
confusing, and vulnerable
journey to becoming a person.
264
00:14:34,115 --> 00:14:36,399
You have done none
of those things.
265
00:14:36,450 --> 00:14:39,536
You're my mother, and you
took a child's trust
266
00:14:39,603 --> 00:14:43,072
and smashed it into bits in
a 17-year-long mission
267
00:14:43,124 --> 00:14:46,042
to destroy something that
you killed a long time ago.
268
00:14:46,109 --> 00:14:48,378
And honestly, when
I turn 18...
269
00:14:48,445 --> 00:14:50,630
I-I don't know that I ever
want to see you again.
270
00:14:56,137 --> 00:14:58,004
Oh wow, everybody's
already tweeting
271
00:14:58,088 --> 00:14:59,255
"Stewie Just Said That."
272
00:14:59,323 --> 00:15:01,958
You're right.
273
00:15:02,009 --> 00:15:03,693
You're right. I'm
a terrible mother.
274
00:15:03,761 --> 00:15:05,728
I'm so sorry.
275
00:15:05,796 --> 00:15:08,014
I'm so, so sorry, Meg.
276
00:15:08,098 --> 00:15:10,266
Can you ever forgive me?
277
00:15:10,334 --> 00:15:12,235
Oh, God.
278
00:15:14,572 --> 00:15:16,606
And you never let Dad
stir the paint anymore,
279
00:15:16,657 --> 00:15:17,991
whatever that means.
280
00:15:18,075 --> 00:15:19,275
I didn't know you
knew that, Meg,
281
00:15:19,326 --> 00:15:20,310
but I'm glad
you brought it up.
282
00:15:27,185 --> 00:15:29,727
Oh, Meg, I don't
know what to say.
283
00:15:29,728 --> 00:15:32,959
All of those things you
said about me are true.
284
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,795
I have been a very
bad mother to you.
285
00:15:35,847 --> 00:15:37,848
I have no excuse.
286
00:15:37,932 --> 00:15:40,267
I just have this horrible,
overwhelming desire
287
00:15:40,318 --> 00:15:41,801
to point out faults in you.
288
00:15:41,853 --> 00:15:43,970
I don't know
where it comes from.
289
00:15:44,022 --> 00:15:46,139
Maybe it's because
I'm self-conscious
290
00:15:46,190 --> 00:15:48,358
about being a bad parent.
291
00:15:48,443 --> 00:15:50,643
I'm just, I'm so disgusted
with my behavior.
292
00:15:50,695 --> 00:15:52,379
And I'm so sorry, Meg.
293
00:15:52,447 --> 00:15:53,814
Yeah, you're a bitch.
294
00:15:53,881 --> 00:15:56,767
Well, you know, I, I been sorta
just hangin' back here,
295
00:15:56,834 --> 00:15:58,335
takin' all this in,
'cause I didn't think
296
00:15:58,403 --> 00:16:00,003
I had a dog in this fight,
297
00:16:00,071 --> 00:16:01,638
but my money's on
Harry Potter over there.
298
00:16:01,706 --> 00:16:03,656
Oh, you think
that's funny, fat ass?
299
00:16:03,708 --> 00:16:04,708
Well, I don't know
if it's funny.
300
00:16:04,792 --> 00:16:06,159
I-I think it's clever.
301
00:16:06,210 --> 00:16:08,495
I mean, y-y-you got
the big glasses there...
302
00:16:08,546 --> 00:16:10,681
I-I-I don't know. T-T-Tell me,
tell me what's on your mind.
303
00:16:10,765 --> 00:16:13,100
Oh, I'll tell you,
Mister Selfish-ass Dad.
304
00:16:13,167 --> 00:16:16,136
Hey. That's "Mister
Mister selfish-ass Dad"
305
00:16:16,187 --> 00:16:17,087
to you, young lady.
306
00:16:17,155 --> 00:16:19,005
Oh God, is she gonna do me next?
307
00:16:19,057 --> 00:16:21,058
You are completely selfish,
308
00:16:21,142 --> 00:16:23,193
and totally irresponsible
as a father.
309
00:16:23,261 --> 00:16:26,129
All right, I see what's
goin' on here.
310
00:16:26,197 --> 00:16:27,514
You're in love
with your old man.
311
00:16:27,582 --> 00:16:30,767
You have no education,
you have no interests,
312
00:16:30,835 --> 00:16:33,186
you just do whatever
reckless thing you want to do
313
00:16:33,237 --> 00:16:36,623
whenever you want to do it
without regard for anyone else.
314
00:16:36,691 --> 00:16:40,210
Oh, oh, and when you're not
terrorizing the community
315
00:16:40,294 --> 00:16:41,795
with your impulsive escapades,
316
00:16:41,863 --> 00:16:44,281
you're being a total
jerk to your family.
317
00:16:44,348 --> 00:16:47,918
You shove your daughter's face
in your ass and you fart on it.
318
00:16:47,985 --> 00:16:49,820
If someone
in the outside world
319
00:16:49,887 --> 00:16:53,006
could see the way you treat
me, you would be in jail!
320
00:16:53,074 --> 00:16:55,876
Oh, ha ha. Oh, this
is amusing to you.
321
00:16:55,943 --> 00:16:57,778
Well, see if you
find this funny.
322
00:16:57,845 --> 00:16:59,513
I like where this is going.
323
00:16:59,580 --> 00:17:01,815
You are a fat,
lazy, abusive,
324
00:17:01,883 --> 00:17:03,683
blue-collar
Irish Catholic dad
325
00:17:03,751 --> 00:17:05,519
who drinks way too much
326
00:17:05,586 --> 00:17:07,904
and barely makes enough
money to support his family.
327
00:17:07,972 --> 00:17:09,339
You've lived half your life,
328
00:17:09,407 --> 00:17:12,375
and you have nothing
to show for it.
329
00:17:12,443 --> 00:17:15,445
Your only arguable
accomplishments are your kids,
330
00:17:15,530 --> 00:17:18,698
and look at us; we're a disaster.
Eh, watch it.
331
00:17:18,766 --> 00:17:21,551
You're a total and
complete embarrassment
332
00:17:21,619 --> 00:17:23,687
in every possible way.
333
00:17:23,721 --> 00:17:26,056
Take a good look at yourself,
Peter Griffin.
334
00:17:26,124 --> 00:17:28,175
You're a waste of a man.
335
00:17:28,242 --> 00:17:32,045
Wait a second,
these are criticisms.
336
00:17:32,096 --> 00:17:33,513
Hey, Lois, tell her
to knock it off.
337
00:17:33,581 --> 00:17:36,099
Oh, and where the hell were you
when she was laying into me?
338
00:17:36,184 --> 00:17:37,968
I was thinking about
getting a fancy cane.
339
00:17:38,052 --> 00:17:39,870
Maybe getting more
attention from strangers.
340
00:17:39,937 --> 00:17:42,672
Have either of you guys
been listening to me?
341
00:17:42,740 --> 00:17:45,325
Do you both just have
your heads up your asses?
342
00:17:45,393 --> 00:17:48,061
Dad did! Look, he's got
crap on his ears!
343
00:17:48,112 --> 00:17:49,146
That's unrelated.
344
00:17:49,230 --> 00:17:50,430
Chris, I don't like
that language.
345
00:17:50,498 --> 00:17:52,232
Well, I don't like your cooking.
346
00:17:52,283 --> 00:17:54,117
Well, I don't like having
to literally empty
347
00:17:54,202 --> 00:17:56,486
the farts out of your pockets
whenever I do your laundry.
348
00:17:56,571 --> 00:17:57,988
You're the one
who's always cookin'
349
00:17:58,072 --> 00:17:59,790
Brussels sprouts
and broccoli.
350
00:17:59,874 --> 00:18:02,442
It's like an Irish
bar fight down there.
351
00:18:02,493 --> 00:18:04,944
You're from one town over,
so I hate your guts.
352
00:18:08,216 --> 00:18:10,950
Why don't we ever
get any good food?!
353
00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:12,752
Yeah, Bonnie gives
Joe Wonder Bread.
354
00:18:12,804 --> 00:18:14,588
Well, then go live
at Bonnie's house.
355
00:18:14,639 --> 00:18:16,006
Then I could
finally sleep in
356
00:18:16,090 --> 00:18:18,592
and not have to answer your
stupid questions at 5:00 a.m.
357
00:18:18,643 --> 00:18:20,760
My curiosity peaks
in the morning!
358
00:18:20,812 --> 00:18:22,145
You eat all my
Dannon yogurts!
359
00:18:22,230 --> 00:18:23,647
I don't see your
name on 'em!
360
00:18:23,731 --> 00:18:25,732
You don't even like them!
But you know I do,
361
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,434
and you don't want
me to have them!
362
00:18:27,502 --> 00:18:29,069
You know, I've never
confronted you on it,
363
00:18:29,136 --> 00:18:30,737
but I've often thought
the same thing, Peter.
364
00:18:30,804 --> 00:18:32,772
Yeah, that's exactly
what he does!
365
00:18:32,824 --> 00:18:34,691
'Cause he's a selfish,
fat idiot!
366
00:18:34,775 --> 00:18:35,959
You shut up,
all of yous!
367
00:18:38,012 --> 00:18:40,747
I didn't ask to
be in this family!
368
00:18:42,533 --> 00:18:44,067
Ugh, I'll go get him.
369
00:18:44,168 --> 00:18:46,353
Peter? You
come back here!
370
00:18:46,420 --> 00:18:49,139
I faked all my orgasms!
371
00:18:53,211 --> 00:18:54,644
Hey.
372
00:18:54,712 --> 00:18:57,714
What's goin' on?
373
00:18:57,782 --> 00:19:00,400
You know, that was, uh,
that was pretty cool
374
00:19:00,468 --> 00:19:01,952
the way you finally
stood up to everybody.
375
00:19:02,019 --> 00:19:04,020
I don't know, Brian.
376
00:19:04,088 --> 00:19:06,089
I mean, I, I meant
every word of it, but...
377
00:19:06,157 --> 00:19:08,792
you saw what happened.
What do you mean?
378
00:19:08,860 --> 00:19:11,261
They all turned on each other
like a pack of wolves.
379
00:19:11,329 --> 00:19:13,296
Well, so what? That's
not your problem.
380
00:19:13,364 --> 00:19:15,665
Do you think it's
possible that...
381
00:19:15,733 --> 00:19:17,901
that this family can't
survive without some sort of
382
00:19:17,969 --> 00:19:20,020
lightning rod to absorb
all the dysfunction?
383
00:19:20,087 --> 00:19:21,521
Well, that's a...
384
00:19:21,589 --> 00:19:23,206
that's a theory, I guess.
385
00:19:23,274 --> 00:19:26,843
I mean, it-- it's not ideal,
but it's an important piece
386
00:19:26,911 --> 00:19:30,146
that maybe it's just my
lot in life to provide.
387
00:19:30,214 --> 00:19:33,350
Maybe if I feel bad,
they don't have to.
388
00:19:33,417 --> 00:19:35,452
Wow.
389
00:19:35,519 --> 00:19:37,837
You know, that's incredibly
noble and mature, Meg.
390
00:19:37,905 --> 00:19:39,506
You know, I think you might be
391
00:19:39,574 --> 00:19:41,207
the strongest person
in this house.
392
00:19:41,275 --> 00:19:42,576
You mean that, Brian?
393
00:19:42,643 --> 00:19:43,610
Absolutely.
394
00:19:47,832 --> 00:19:49,532
Mom? Dad?
395
00:19:53,704 --> 00:19:55,088
Dad?
Go away!
396
00:19:55,156 --> 00:19:56,823
Dad, come out of there.
397
00:19:56,891 --> 00:20:00,627
No! I don't deserve no better
than livin' with the shoes!
398
00:20:00,695 --> 00:20:02,295
Peter, there you are.
399
00:20:02,363 --> 00:20:04,164
You guys, I have
something to say.
400
00:20:04,231 --> 00:20:07,250
You're right.
It's all my fault.
401
00:20:07,318 --> 00:20:09,753
What?
Mom, you're an amazing mother
402
00:20:09,820 --> 00:20:12,289
and all the things I said
about you were out of anger,
403
00:20:12,356 --> 00:20:14,207
and I didn't mean any of them.
404
00:20:14,275 --> 00:20:17,110
Chris, you're an
outstanding brother.
405
00:20:17,178 --> 00:20:21,097
What I said about you was more
about me being a rotten sister.
406
00:20:21,182 --> 00:20:24,851
And Dad, I'm so sorry that
I made you feel this way.
407
00:20:24,919 --> 00:20:26,369
You don't deserve it.
408
00:20:26,437 --> 00:20:28,371
None of you have
done anything wrong.
409
00:20:28,439 --> 00:20:30,624
I took all my problems
out on you guys,
410
00:20:30,691 --> 00:20:32,492
and that wasn't fair.
411
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:35,795
Oh, so this was all about you,
it wasn't about us.
412
00:20:35,863 --> 00:20:36,963
Yeah.
413
00:20:37,031 --> 00:20:38,365
Alright, that makes sense.
414
00:20:38,432 --> 00:20:40,800
See, I thought it was
weird that I was a bad dad.
415
00:20:40,868 --> 00:20:42,702
Meg, how could you put
us all through that?
416
00:20:42,770 --> 00:20:44,304
I'm sorry, you guys.
417
00:20:44,372 --> 00:20:46,306
You're a (bleep) bitch!
418
00:20:46,374 --> 00:20:47,440
Yes.
419
00:20:47,491 --> 00:20:48,391
Yes, I am.
420
00:20:54,448 --> 00:20:57,430
Hi, I'm Stewie Griffin.
Tonight's Family Guy
421
00:20:57,431 --> 00:20:59,665
was a very special episode
about drug use.
422
00:21:00,046 --> 00:21:02,857
But the simple fact is,
it's no laughing matter.
423
00:21:03,141 --> 00:21:06,019
To learn more about drugs,
visit your local library.
424
00:21:06,337 --> 00:21:09,118
There's probably a guy behind
there who sells drugs.
425
00:21:09,442 --> 00:21:11,727
Good night.
426
00:21:11,795 --> 00:21:15,795
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
31351
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof