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1
00:00:14,950 --> 00:00:16,450
Attention, everyone,
mail call!
2
00:00:16,460 --> 00:00:18,907
Meg, Teen People.
Chris, Amazing Spiderman.
3
00:00:18,917 --> 00:00:19,942
Lois, Redbook.
4
00:00:19,952 --> 00:00:22,346
World War II Army Guy,
a letter from your gal.
5
00:00:22,934 --> 00:00:25,468
(Laughter, catcalls)
Open that one up, buddy.
6
00:00:25,540 --> 00:00:27,308
All right,
at ease, at ease.
7
00:00:27,375 --> 00:00:28,642
"Dear Willy,
it's been awful lonesome
8
00:00:28,710 --> 00:00:30,277
since you've been away."
9
00:00:30,345 --> 00:00:31,612
Hey, you hear that, fellas?
She misses me!
10
00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:34,281
(Good-natured ribbing)
Stewie: You're all wet.
11
00:00:35,684 --> 00:00:36,750
Hey, check this out.
12
00:00:36,818 --> 00:00:38,585
We got invited to a party.
13
00:00:38,653 --> 00:00:41,956
"Peter Griffin, you and your
family are cordially invited
14
00:00:42,023 --> 00:00:45,025
to a gala dinner in your honor
at Rocky Point Manor."
15
00:00:45,093 --> 00:00:47,061
What? What are they
honoring you for?
16
00:00:47,128 --> 00:00:49,063
Who cares? It says here
it's for the whole weekend.
17
00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:50,230
And it's free.
18
00:00:50,298 --> 00:00:51,632
Well, who's
the invitation from?
19
00:00:51,700 --> 00:00:53,000
I don't know,
it doesn't say.
20
00:00:53,068 --> 00:00:54,335
Wait, you're not
gonna go, are you?
21
00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:55,836
It's clearly
some kind of scam.
22
00:00:55,904 --> 00:00:58,172
Oh, well, then maybe we just go,
and you go to the kennel.
23
00:00:58,239 --> 00:00:59,640
Oh, not the kennel.
24
00:00:59,708 --> 00:01:01,709
Last time you left me
there for an hour.
25
00:01:01,776 --> 00:01:03,777
Or ten years, I don't know...
There's no clock there!
26
00:01:03,845 --> 00:01:05,446
You stink when
you come out of there.
27
00:01:06,948 --> 00:01:08,682
(Engine starts)
28
00:01:15,690 --> 00:01:19,660
Family Guy 9x01
And Then There Were Fewer
Original Air Date on September 26, 2010
29
00:01:19,728 --> 00:01:24,352
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
30
00:02:57,459 --> 00:02:59,693
Dad, are we almost there?
31
00:02:59,761 --> 00:03:01,462
Yeah. According to the map,
we're pretty close.
32
00:03:03,665 --> 00:03:06,200
(Gasps)
Peter, look!
33
00:03:51,846 --> 00:03:53,680
(Waves crashing)
34
00:04:00,321 --> 00:04:04,525
My God, this is
absolutely beautiful.
35
00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:07,361
I bet Jeff Probst
has a house like this.
36
00:04:10,465 --> 00:04:12,499
- Joe?
- Peter?
37
00:04:12,567 --> 00:04:14,134
What the hell are
you guys doing here?
38
00:04:14,202 --> 00:04:17,171
Well, we got an invitation
to a dinner in my honor.
39
00:04:17,238 --> 00:04:20,240
I assumed it was for all
those arrests I made last month.
40
00:04:20,308 --> 00:04:22,743
That's weird. My invitation
said it was in my honor.
41
00:04:22,810 --> 00:04:24,978
I assumed it was for being
able to fart the alphabet,
42
00:04:25,046 --> 00:04:27,314
which I almost did
till I pooped on the "S."
43
00:04:27,382 --> 00:04:29,216
Oh, well. Everybody
on the bus was upset
44
00:04:29,284 --> 00:04:30,684
long before
that anyway.
45
00:04:32,687 --> 00:04:33,487
What the...
46
00:04:36,558 --> 00:04:37,958
Derek and Jillian?
47
00:04:38,026 --> 00:04:39,860
Wow!
Hi, Brian!
48
00:04:39,928 --> 00:04:40,994
Hey, kiddo.
49
00:04:41,062 --> 00:04:42,462
What... What are
you guys doing here?
50
00:04:42,530 --> 00:04:44,831
I got a card that says
they're throwing a dinner
51
00:04:44,899 --> 00:04:46,400
in my "honer."
52
00:04:46,467 --> 00:04:47,668
Wait a minute, what the
hell's going on here?
53
00:04:47,735 --> 00:04:49,403
Everybody got the
same invitation?
54
00:04:49,470 --> 00:04:52,739
Muriel, if you're not gonna eat
your half of the cheeseburger,
55
00:04:52,807 --> 00:04:55,275
I'll see if they have a freezer,
so I can keep it nice.
56
00:04:55,343 --> 00:04:58,145
I'm gonna walk around.
I think my vagina's asleep.
57
00:05:05,019 --> 00:05:08,589
Oh. Hey.
Uh...
58
00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:10,524
Didn't think I'd see
anyone I knew here.
59
00:05:10,592 --> 00:05:13,060
This, uh,
this is Stephanie.
60
00:05:13,127 --> 00:05:15,229
Hi, everybody!
Oh, my gosh!
61
00:05:15,296 --> 00:05:17,898
I never thought I'd
meet Glenn's friends!
62
00:05:17,966 --> 00:05:19,733
Yeah, I figured,
why not?
63
00:05:19,801 --> 00:05:22,703
You know, you... we... You and I
see each other from time to time.
64
00:05:22,770 --> 00:05:26,740
Oh, my God, we, like,
never see each other! This guy!
65
00:05:26,808 --> 00:05:29,243
You, like, disappear for a month,
and then you call me?!
66
00:05:29,310 --> 00:05:30,444
So silly!
67
00:05:30,511 --> 00:05:33,447
You're lucky
I like you so much.
68
00:05:33,514 --> 00:05:36,149
Okay, why don't you go
ahead and take the bags in.
69
00:05:36,217 --> 00:05:39,152
Wow, it... It looks like
the whole town got invited.
70
00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:49,396
(Ice cream truck music plays)
71
00:06:12,186 --> 00:06:14,021
(With thick accent):
Mr. Peter.
72
00:06:14,088 --> 00:06:15,689
Mr. Joe.
73
00:06:15,757 --> 00:06:17,024
Mr. Bonnie.
74
00:06:17,091 --> 00:06:18,992
She doesn't know
what "Mr." means.
75
00:06:19,060 --> 00:06:20,494
Mr. Mort.
76
00:06:20,561 --> 00:06:22,429
Mr. Muriel.
77
00:06:22,497 --> 00:06:24,064
Mayor West Mr.
78
00:06:24,132 --> 00:06:25,766
Oh, my God, seriously.
79
00:06:25,833 --> 00:06:28,869
If you will all please
follow me to third floor,
80
00:06:28,936 --> 00:06:30,837
I show you
to your rooms.
81
00:06:30,905 --> 00:06:34,107
You are all expected
for dinner at 8:00.
82
00:06:34,175 --> 00:06:35,609
Stephanie:
Oh, good! I'm starved!
83
00:06:35,677 --> 00:06:37,411
Quagmire:
Settle down, will ya?
84
00:06:57,865 --> 00:06:59,399
None of this makes any sense.
85
00:06:59,467 --> 00:07:02,336
Everyone got invitations
from an anonymous source
86
00:07:02,403 --> 00:07:03,770
for a dinner in their honor,
87
00:07:03,838 --> 00:07:05,272
when that's clearly
not the case.
88
00:07:05,340 --> 00:07:07,186
Now we're here,
where the hell's our host?
89
00:07:07,196 --> 00:07:09,716
Well, at least you all had
eveningwear provided for you.
90
00:07:09,810 --> 00:07:11,511
I thought this was
going to be a lawn party.
91
00:07:11,579 --> 00:07:13,813
I don't have
one pair of long pants.
92
00:07:13,881 --> 00:07:16,850
Boy, it's kinda awkward seeing
Jillian here with Derek.
93
00:07:16,917 --> 00:07:18,117
I wonder if she's
thinking about me.
94
00:07:18,185 --> 00:07:20,420
I don't know, are you
a pony or the color blue?
95
00:07:20,488 --> 00:07:22,422
(Laughs)
96
00:07:22,490 --> 00:07:23,756
Derek, look!
97
00:07:23,824 --> 00:07:25,525
Ha, how do you
like that?
98
00:07:25,593 --> 00:07:28,394
Have you guys ever seen
Jim Henson's Labyrinth?
99
00:07:28,462 --> 00:07:30,096
No. Have you ever seen
the Channel Five News?
100
00:07:30,164 --> 00:07:31,631
No.
101
00:07:31,699 --> 00:07:33,933
Uh, Labyrinth has teenage
Jennifer Connelly.
102
00:07:34,001 --> 00:07:37,136
Channel Five News has file
footage of pills being sorted.
103
00:07:37,204 --> 00:07:39,472
Some people think
Jennifer Connelly's old now,
104
00:07:39,540 --> 00:07:41,841
and that her hands look
like two bags of snakes.
105
00:07:41,909 --> 00:07:43,009
I think that's bogus.
106
00:07:43,077 --> 00:07:44,611
I don't think we
have much in common.
107
00:07:44,678 --> 00:07:47,380
Good heavens, Meg,
you're sprouting up like a weed!
108
00:07:47,448 --> 00:07:49,249
I know,
she's growing every day.
109
00:07:49,316 --> 00:07:51,150
Meg, you remember Dr. Hartman.
110
00:07:51,218 --> 00:07:54,354
Of course she does! I performed
her very first pelvic exam!
111
00:07:54,421 --> 00:07:57,624
Unless I'm confusing you
with someone else.
112
00:07:57,691 --> 00:08:00,193
Nope. That was...
That was you.
113
00:08:00,261 --> 00:08:02,328
(Footsteps descending staircase)
114
00:08:10,971 --> 00:08:12,372
Good evening, everyone.
115
00:08:12,439 --> 00:08:14,741
(Gasps)
James Woods!
116
00:08:14,808 --> 00:08:16,342
(Growls)
117
00:08:16,410 --> 00:08:18,845
Thank you for joining me
at my humble manor.
118
00:08:18,913 --> 00:08:22,181
I'd like to introduce you to
my lovely companion, Pricilla.
119
00:08:22,249 --> 00:08:23,349
Nice to meet you all.
120
00:08:23,417 --> 00:08:24,551
Who's he?
121
00:08:24,618 --> 00:08:25,685
James Woods.
122
00:08:25,753 --> 00:08:27,487
Oh, I thought
he was a shark.
123
00:08:27,555 --> 00:08:29,322
No, he was a on a
show called Shark.
124
00:08:29,390 --> 00:08:30,990
But he's made of wood?
125
00:08:31,058 --> 00:08:33,760
No, his last name is Woods,
but he's not made of wood.
126
00:08:33,827 --> 00:08:34,661
Nobody is.
127
00:08:36,397 --> 00:08:41,167
This truly is a night to celebrate,
especially for me.
128
00:08:41,235 --> 00:08:42,869
Hey, what's
going on here, Woods?
129
00:08:42,937 --> 00:08:45,171
The invitation said this
was a dinner in my honor.
130
00:08:45,239 --> 00:08:46,539
That's what mine said, too.
131
00:08:46,607 --> 00:08:48,374
- Yeah, me, too!
- Mine, too.
- Same here!
132
00:08:48,442 --> 00:08:49,709
Stephanie:
Where's the food?
133
00:08:49,777 --> 00:08:52,245
Well, actually,
this dinner honors all of you.
134
00:08:52,313 --> 00:08:53,947
Where should I begin?
135
00:08:54,014 --> 00:08:57,383
You see, recently I've become
a born-again Christian.
136
00:08:57,451 --> 00:09:00,653
Thanks to this
beautiful little angel.
137
00:09:00,721 --> 00:09:03,089
She came into my life
as if out of nowhere,
138
00:09:03,157 --> 00:09:05,592
enchanted me beyond
my wildest dreams,
139
00:09:05,659 --> 00:09:08,361
and opened my eyes
to the cleansing truth
140
00:09:08,429 --> 00:09:10,330
of Jesus Christ's love.
141
00:09:10,397 --> 00:09:12,565
No, honey,
it was always within you.
142
00:09:12,633 --> 00:09:13,933
I just helped you find it.
143
00:09:14,001 --> 00:09:17,170
Um... What does all this gay
stuff have to do with us?
144
00:09:17,237 --> 00:09:19,572
Well, the fact of the matter is,
I have wronged
145
00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:22,375
each and every
one of you in some way.
146
00:09:22,443 --> 00:09:26,346
And, since I am a man of God now,
I am truly repentant.
147
00:09:26,413 --> 00:09:29,148
Woods: So, I invited you all
here to make amends.
148
00:09:29,216 --> 00:09:30,984
And why the hell
should we trust you?
149
00:09:31,051 --> 00:09:33,286
Yeah, you've been terrorizing
our family for years.
150
00:09:33,354 --> 00:09:36,723
I understand that there is
some healing to do here tonight,
151
00:09:36,790 --> 00:09:38,958
and I am prepared to be patient.
152
00:09:39,026 --> 00:09:42,195
Please, won't you just
give me a chance?
153
00:09:42,262 --> 00:09:44,697
And I promise you
won't be disappointed.
154
00:09:44,765 --> 00:09:47,500
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'll just go check on dinner.
155
00:09:47,534 --> 00:09:48,801
Oh, I'll help you, sweetheart.
156
00:09:52,606 --> 00:09:54,340
This is all very strange.
157
00:09:54,408 --> 00:09:56,242
I agree.
Something's not right.
158
00:09:56,310 --> 00:09:58,878
I don't know, maybe we
should give him a chance.
159
00:09:58,946 --> 00:10:00,713
Maybe he really is born again.
160
00:10:00,781 --> 00:10:02,115
Well, he could be.
161
00:10:02,182 --> 00:10:04,484
It all depends on what
his astrological sign is.
162
00:10:04,551 --> 00:10:07,487
Shut up. Shut up.
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
163
00:10:07,554 --> 00:10:09,322
I'm very intuitive
with these things.
164
00:10:09,390 --> 00:10:12,759
Maybe if I sit in his chair,
I can get a reading on his energy.
165
00:10:12,826 --> 00:10:15,728
I mean, if he's an Aquarius,
a rebirth would not be unexpected.
166
00:10:15,796 --> 00:10:17,296
That's enough, Stephanie.
167
00:10:17,364 --> 00:10:19,232
Stephanie: You know, it's like
when I did Glenn's star chart...
168
00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:24,737
(All gasp)
169
00:10:24,805 --> 00:10:28,975
Did the...
Did the cork hit me?
170
00:10:29,043 --> 00:10:30,276
(All screaming)
171
00:10:32,112 --> 00:10:34,380
My God.
She's dead.
172
00:10:34,448 --> 00:10:35,982
She's been shot!
173
00:10:36,050 --> 00:10:37,717
(All gasp)
174
00:10:37,785 --> 00:10:39,786
I can't help feeling
this would be sadder
175
00:10:39,853 --> 00:10:41,421
if she wasn't heavy.
176
00:10:46,845 --> 00:10:48,879
Oh, my God.
It was him!
177
00:10:48,947 --> 00:10:51,749
It was James Woods!
He killed Stephanie!
178
00:10:51,816 --> 00:10:54,618
Jeez, I knew he was crazy,
but I didn't think he was a murderer!
179
00:10:54,686 --> 00:10:57,121
Oh, he must've brought
us here to kill us all!
180
00:10:57,188 --> 00:10:58,856
Run! Run for your lives!
181
00:11:01,576 --> 00:11:03,032
Quick! We got to
get out of here!
182
00:11:07,065 --> 00:11:08,265
(Thunder cracks)
183
00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:10,134
Come on,
get in the car!
184
00:11:17,742 --> 00:11:19,543
(Thunder rumbling)
185
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:23,013
(Yelling)
186
00:11:23,081 --> 00:11:24,815
(Brakes screeching)
187
00:11:28,553 --> 00:11:29,887
Oh, my God, Peter,
back it up!
188
00:11:29,954 --> 00:11:31,155
Oh, really, Lois?
189
00:11:31,222 --> 00:11:32,556
I thought I might
drive forward.
190
00:11:32,624 --> 00:11:34,358
I thought that... that might
be a fun thing to do.
191
00:11:34,425 --> 00:11:35,559
Stop fighting!
192
00:11:35,627 --> 00:11:36,927
(Metal creaking)
193
00:11:39,980 --> 00:11:42,493
Oh, my God! Quick, Peter,
get in the back!
194
00:11:45,970 --> 00:11:47,371
(Engine revving,
tires squealing)
195
00:11:47,438 --> 00:11:49,039
(Loud thudding)
196
00:11:53,028 --> 00:11:54,901
Oh, thank God.
We made it.
197
00:11:54,913 --> 00:11:56,510
Oh! Aah!
198
00:11:56,533 --> 00:11:58,142
Ow! My neck!
199
00:11:58,165 --> 00:12:00,690
You backed into me,
and... and now... Oh!
200
00:12:00,702 --> 00:12:01,747
Muriel:
And your back!
201
00:12:01,759 --> 00:12:04,577
And my back!
My back, yes! Oh!
202
00:12:04,697 --> 00:12:07,457
(Thunder rumbling)
203
00:12:09,205 --> 00:12:11,373
All right, it looks like
we're stuck here.
204
00:12:11,441 --> 00:12:14,243
Storm has flooded the causeway,
and the bridge is destroyed.
205
00:12:14,310 --> 00:12:16,712
For the moment,
there's no way out.
206
00:12:16,780 --> 00:12:18,013
No Way Out. Great film.
207
00:12:18,081 --> 00:12:19,648
Sean Young naked in the limo?
208
00:12:19,716 --> 00:12:20,849
What are we gonna do?
209
00:12:20,917 --> 00:12:22,184
We can't just stay here
210
00:12:22,252 --> 00:12:24,119
with James Woods lurking
somewhere in the house!
211
00:12:24,187 --> 00:12:25,921
All right, does anyone have
a cell phone?
212
00:12:27,490 --> 00:12:28,991
I'm not getting
any reception!
213
00:12:29,058 --> 00:12:30,526
- Me neither!
- No bars!
214
00:12:30,593 --> 00:12:31,894
It's all right.
215
00:12:31,961 --> 00:12:33,695
I'll put a message
in a bottle.
216
00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:39,568
Now... we wait.
217
00:12:39,636 --> 00:12:41,670
Look, he's got a land line
we can use!
218
00:12:41,738 --> 00:12:44,306
Oh, no. You know,
I wouldn't feel right about that.
219
00:12:44,374 --> 00:12:46,275
We're guests,
and it's long distance.
220
00:12:46,342 --> 00:12:47,509
Doesn't matter.
221
00:12:47,577 --> 00:12:48,911
The line's dead.
222
00:12:48,978 --> 00:12:50,846
(Panicked, overlapping chatter)
223
00:12:52,115 --> 00:12:53,415
Whoa, whoa, whoa, all right.
224
00:12:53,483 --> 00:12:55,717
Look, everybody but Chris,
just keep your pants on
225
00:12:55,785 --> 00:12:57,820
and let's figure a way out of this.
226
00:12:57,887 --> 00:12:59,855
He's right.
We just got to stay calm.
227
00:12:59,923 --> 00:13:01,356
With a killer in the house?!
228
00:13:01,424 --> 00:13:02,891
Killer in the house...!
229
00:13:02,959 --> 00:13:05,027
Hey, guys,
has anybody seen James?
230
00:13:05,094 --> 00:13:07,329
Sweetheart, you may want
to sit down for this.
231
00:13:07,397 --> 00:13:09,698
Who want little tiny tacos?
232
00:13:09,766 --> 00:13:12,267
Ooh, little taco.
I'll have one of those.
233
00:13:12,335 --> 00:13:13,602
(All gasping)
It's him!
234
00:13:13,670 --> 00:13:14,837
Sorry I took so long.
235
00:13:14,904 --> 00:13:16,405
I was going to the bathroom,
236
00:13:16,473 --> 00:13:18,574
and I just couldn't stop
looking at my penis,
237
00:13:18,641 --> 00:13:20,008
'cause it's, you know,
so fantastic.
238
00:13:20,076 --> 00:13:21,777
You're a monster...
Yeah, I heard it's fantastic.
239
00:13:21,845 --> 00:13:23,245
You're a monster, James Woods!
240
00:13:23,313 --> 00:13:25,781
You think you can just commit
murder and get away with it?!
241
00:13:25,849 --> 00:13:27,015
Quagmire loved that girl!
242
00:13:27,083 --> 00:13:28,116
Quagmire:
Easy.
243
00:13:28,184 --> 00:13:29,418
Murder?
244
00:13:29,486 --> 00:13:30,686
Wha... What are you
talking about?
245
00:13:30,753 --> 00:13:33,021
You're going away
for a long time, pal.
246
00:13:33,089 --> 00:13:34,323
Jimmy,
what does he mean?
247
00:13:34,390 --> 00:13:36,358
Look, I honestly don't know
what's going on here.
248
00:13:36,426 --> 00:13:37,593
Oh, really?
249
00:13:37,660 --> 00:13:39,428
Well, maybe that dead pile
of cookie dough
250
00:13:39,496 --> 00:13:41,196
in the next room
will refresh your memory.
251
00:13:41,264 --> 00:13:42,431
What do you mean?
252
00:13:42,499 --> 00:13:44,800
There's nothing
in the next room.
253
00:13:49,973 --> 00:13:51,707
(Gasps)
It's gone!
254
00:13:51,774 --> 00:13:53,876
Where is she, Woods?
What'd you do with the body?
255
00:13:53,943 --> 00:13:55,210
What body?
256
00:13:55,278 --> 00:13:56,812
You know,
maybe she wasn't dead.
257
00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:59,348
I'll admit it, I'm... I'm not great
with that stuff sometimes.
258
00:13:59,415 --> 00:14:01,316
All right, I don't know
what's happening here,
259
00:14:01,384 --> 00:14:02,985
but look,
I'm a lot of things.
260
00:14:03,052 --> 00:14:05,387
A member of Mensa,
a huge hit with the ladies,
261
00:14:05,455 --> 00:14:07,523
someone who, you know,
would have broken out bigger
262
00:14:07,590 --> 00:14:09,358
if he weren't so impossible
to work with.
263
00:14:09,425 --> 00:14:10,592
Right. But a murderer?
264
00:14:10,660 --> 00:14:12,694
I only just found God.
265
00:14:12,762 --> 00:14:15,063
Why would I jeopardize
my entrance into heaven?
266
00:14:15,131 --> 00:14:16,999
If I were you,
I'd keep your mouth shut
267
00:14:17,066 --> 00:14:18,333
till you talk to a lawyer.
268
00:14:18,401 --> 00:14:20,335
I didn't kill anybody!
269
00:14:20,403 --> 00:14:21,527
(Thunder rumbling,
electrical hiss)
270
00:14:21,539 --> 00:14:22,384
(All gasping)
271
00:14:22,396 --> 00:14:24,052
Peter:
Oh my God.
272
00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:26,588
Is this what black people see
all the time?
273
00:14:26,609 --> 00:14:28,610
(Stabbing, grunt, thud)
274
00:14:28,678 --> 00:14:30,312
(People screaming)
275
00:14:30,380 --> 00:14:31,613
(Electrical hiss)
276
00:14:31,681 --> 00:14:33,170
(Gasps)
Look!
277
00:14:33,193 --> 00:14:35,551
(Screaming)
278
00:14:38,214 --> 00:14:39,154
He's dead.
279
00:14:39,222 --> 00:14:40,556
Oh, my God!
280
00:14:40,623 --> 00:14:41,823
Nice.
281
00:14:41,891 --> 00:14:43,258
Nobody touch the knife!
282
00:14:43,326 --> 00:14:45,127
There could be
fingerprints on it.
283
00:14:45,194 --> 00:14:47,429
So James Woods
murdered Stephanie,
284
00:14:47,497 --> 00:14:48,864
and then he
murdered himself.
285
00:14:48,932 --> 00:14:50,165
Criss-cross.
286
00:14:50,233 --> 00:14:51,633
No, Peter.
Don't you see?
287
00:14:51,701 --> 00:14:54,169
He didn't kill himself,
and he didn't kill Stephanie.
288
00:14:54,237 --> 00:14:55,571
What are you saying?
289
00:14:55,638 --> 00:14:58,373
I'm saying, James Woods
isn't the murderer.
290
00:14:58,441 --> 00:15:00,342
The murderer...
291
00:15:00,410 --> 00:15:02,177
is one of us!
292
00:15:02,245 --> 00:15:03,612
(All gasping)
293
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:06,815
And someone ate the last
goat cheese tartlet.
294
00:15:06,883 --> 00:15:08,450
(All expressing outrage)
295
00:15:08,518 --> 00:15:10,252
Now I hope I die next.
296
00:15:12,997 --> 00:15:15,198
(Thunder cracks)
297
00:15:18,803 --> 00:15:19,570
Okay, everyone,
298
00:15:19,617 --> 00:15:21,518
it's important that
we all stay calm.
299
00:15:21,586 --> 00:15:23,253
How are we supposed
to stay calm?!
300
00:15:23,321 --> 00:15:24,588
There's a killer
in the room!
301
00:15:24,655 --> 00:15:26,289
We all got to get out of here!
302
00:15:26,357 --> 00:15:27,390
We're all gonna die!
303
00:15:27,458 --> 00:15:29,359
Mr. Mayor,
pull yourself together!
304
00:15:29,427 --> 00:15:30,627
(China breaking)
305
00:15:30,695 --> 00:15:32,829
Wait a minute.
Joe, look!
306
00:15:43,508 --> 00:15:44,875
Oh, my God.
307
00:15:44,942 --> 00:15:46,710
Stephanie was an accident.
308
00:15:46,777 --> 00:15:48,111
That's a way of putting it.
309
00:15:48,179 --> 00:15:49,479
What do you mean, Joe?
310
00:15:49,547 --> 00:15:52,015
This gun was timed to fire
directly at that chair,
311
00:15:52,083 --> 00:15:53,650
where James Woods
would have been sitting.
312
00:15:53,718 --> 00:15:54,985
But he left,
313
00:15:55,052 --> 00:15:56,887
and Stephanie was
in the wrong place
314
00:15:56,954 --> 00:15:58,154
at the wrong time.
315
00:15:58,222 --> 00:15:59,689
So whoever the murderer is,
316
00:15:59,757 --> 00:16:02,526
they were after James Woods,
not Stephanie.
317
00:16:02,593 --> 00:16:04,461
The question is,
318
00:16:04,529 --> 00:16:06,997
who here wanted
James Woods dead?
319
00:16:13,337 --> 00:16:16,106
Let's look around and see
if we can find any more clues.
320
00:16:24,835 --> 00:16:27,537
Oh, my God.
321
00:16:29,136 --> 00:16:30,496
Brian, I feel like
everyone's wondering
322
00:16:30,563 --> 00:16:31,764
why I'm wearing shorts.
323
00:16:31,831 --> 00:16:33,093
Nobody's even
looking at you.
324
00:16:33,105 --> 00:16:33,832
That's what I mean.
325
00:16:33,843 --> 00:16:35,605
The fact that
no one has said anything
326
00:16:35,616 --> 00:16:37,798
makes it even more obvious
that everyone has noticed.
327
00:16:37,822 --> 00:16:39,243
Peter:
Brian, look what I found!
328
00:16:39,254 --> 00:16:40,264
Check it out!
329
00:16:40,288 --> 00:16:42,342
I'm a robot from outer space!
330
00:16:42,390 --> 00:16:43,524
Hang on. I'm coming down.
331
00:16:43,592 --> 00:16:45,759
Go, go, gadget skis!
332
00:16:45,827 --> 00:16:47,661
(Metal clanking)
333
00:16:49,257 --> 00:16:50,698
(China breaking,
Joe groans)
334
00:16:51,123 --> 00:16:52,299
Uh-oh.
335
00:16:52,885 --> 00:16:55,469
All right, since it's my fault
that Joe got knocked out,
336
00:16:55,537 --> 00:16:58,739
it is now my responsibility
to take over the investigation.
337
00:16:58,807 --> 00:17:00,507
I... I don't know if
that actually follows.
338
00:17:00,575 --> 00:17:01,942
Oh, it does follow, Brian.
339
00:17:02,010 --> 00:17:05,045
Because I'm the one
with the giant magnifying glass.
340
00:17:05,113 --> 00:17:06,714
- Is my eye big?
- Yeah.
341
00:17:06,781 --> 00:17:09,717
Good. Good.
That means progress.
342
00:17:09,784 --> 00:17:11,552
All right, let's... Let's figure out
what we know here.
343
00:17:11,620 --> 00:17:13,821
The gun was clearly meant
to kill James Woods,
344
00:17:13,888 --> 00:17:15,689
but Stephanie got in the way.
345
00:17:15,757 --> 00:17:17,458
So the murderer had to improvise
346
00:17:17,525 --> 00:17:19,393
and finish the job
by stabbing him.
347
00:17:19,461 --> 00:17:22,296
Now who here had a motive
for wanting James Woods dead?
348
00:17:22,364 --> 00:17:24,565
Well, according to
James Woods, we all did.
349
00:17:24,633 --> 00:17:26,967
He brought us here
to make amends with us.
350
00:17:27,035 --> 00:17:29,703
But he wronged one of us
enough to want revenge.
351
00:17:29,771 --> 00:17:31,972
The question is, who?
352
00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:34,108
Well, I know one person
who could have.
353
00:17:34,175 --> 00:17:36,010
My partner Tom.
354
00:17:36,077 --> 00:17:37,211
(All gasp)
355
00:17:37,278 --> 00:17:38,512
All right, it's true.
356
00:17:38,632 --> 00:17:40,661
James Woods ruined my career!
357
00:17:40,684 --> 00:17:42,410
I originally wanted
to be an actor.
358
00:17:42,422 --> 00:17:44,665
And I booked the lead role
in Nightmare on Elm Street.
359
00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:46,654
But James Woods said,
"No, don't bother.
360
00:17:46,721 --> 00:17:48,088
Something else will come along."
361
00:17:48,156 --> 00:17:49,406
So I turned it down.
362
00:17:49,418 --> 00:17:52,072
And now this Robert Englund
is the talk of the town.
363
00:17:52,083 --> 00:17:54,061
That should be me
everyone's talking about!
364
00:17:54,129 --> 00:17:55,766
Was I angry?
Yes, of course!
365
00:17:55,789 --> 00:17:56,697
But I didn't kill him!
366
00:17:57,146 --> 00:17:58,212
What about Seamus?
367
00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,360
You hated James Woods.
You told me so!
368
00:18:00,372 --> 00:18:04,435
Aye. He's the one
who made me what I am today.
369
00:18:04,669 --> 00:18:05,507
(Sighs)
370
00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:08,630
I wish you were a real,
live ornery sea captain.
371
00:18:08,783 --> 00:18:10,150
But he didn't
wish hard enough!
372
00:18:10,217 --> 00:18:11,651
It only worked
on me head!
373
00:18:11,719 --> 00:18:12,819
Oh, my God,
seriously?
374
00:18:12,887 --> 00:18:14,454
No. Actually,
I was a normal guy
375
00:18:14,522 --> 00:18:16,089
until one night,
we dropped acid together,
376
00:18:16,157 --> 00:18:17,724
and he thought
I was a steak.
377
00:18:17,792 --> 00:18:19,359
Grilled me,
ate me arms and legs.
378
00:18:19,427 --> 00:18:21,761
It was a whole thing.
But I'm not the killer!
379
00:18:21,829 --> 00:18:22,925
What about the mayor?
380
00:18:22,949 --> 00:18:25,265
He could have killed him
and got himself off scot-free!
381
00:18:25,332 --> 00:18:26,166
(Sighs)
382
00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:28,501
He took the Twitter name
MayorWest,
383
00:18:28,569 --> 00:18:32,005
so now I have
to use Mayor_West.
384
00:18:32,073 --> 00:18:34,107
That rat-faced cracker!
385
00:18:34,175 --> 00:18:36,342
But you hated him, too,
Dr. Hartman.
386
00:18:36,410 --> 00:18:38,378
Sure, I hated him,
but so did Mort.
387
00:18:38,446 --> 00:18:40,914
I didn't kill him!
Maybe it was Diane.
388
00:18:40,981 --> 00:18:41,927
(Sighs)
389
00:18:41,950 --> 00:18:44,684
James Woods promised
to introduce me to Dan Rather.
390
00:18:44,752 --> 00:18:47,220
But instead, he introduced me
to Danny Bonaduce.
391
00:18:47,288 --> 00:18:50,123
I tell you, that guy looks
like a dog turning thirty.
392
00:18:50,191 --> 00:18:51,891
But what about the old guy?
393
00:18:51,959 --> 00:18:54,494
I heard him complaining
about Woods in the dining room.
394
00:18:54,562 --> 00:18:55,425
That's true.
395
00:18:55,448 --> 00:18:58,698
He replaced my Cialis
with methamphetamines!
396
00:18:59,358 --> 00:19:02,218
- Pedal faster!
- I can't go any faster!
397
00:19:02,235 --> 00:19:03,250
Where you going, kids?
398
00:19:03,251 --> 00:19:04,648
Hey, I just want
to talk to you.
399
00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:05,717
Why don't you come
over to my place
400
00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:07,238
for a glass of wine and
a couple of fruit pies,
401
00:19:07,262 --> 00:19:08,213
and then we can go
in the back room
402
00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:10,678
and play crazy snake.
Hee-hee-hee!
403
00:19:10,821 --> 00:19:12,622
And what about Quagmire?
404
00:19:12,690 --> 00:19:15,058
Fine! So he stole
Cheryl Tiegs from me!
405
00:19:15,126 --> 00:19:16,493
He ruined your TV pilot!
406
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:18,595
Go to hell! I backed out
of that project willingly.
407
00:19:18,663 --> 00:19:19,896
Oh, yeah, that's what
every hack says.
408
00:19:19,964 --> 00:19:21,064
- You know, Brian...
- I'm telling you...
409
00:19:21,132 --> 00:19:24,034
(All yelling angrily
at each other)
410
00:19:31,642 --> 00:19:33,076
(All stop yelling)
411
00:19:35,646 --> 00:19:37,480
(All gasp)
412
00:19:39,116 --> 00:19:40,884
Stewie:
Eh. My secret room's bigger.
413
00:19:40,952 --> 00:19:42,719
Herbert:
Mine's smaller.
414
00:19:44,922 --> 00:19:46,122
All right, stand back.
415
00:19:46,190 --> 00:19:48,024
This could be dangerous.
416
00:19:51,099 --> 00:19:53,930
Peter: Oh, laundry room.
Laundry room, everybody.
417
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,468
Oh, see, here we go.
418
00:20:32,267 --> 00:20:35,493
Aha! James Woods made
a list of all his misdeeds
419
00:20:35,511 --> 00:20:36,812
so he could make amends.
420
00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:38,647
Bonnie, he punched you
in the throat,
421
00:20:38,715 --> 00:20:40,019
and that's why
you sound like that?
422
00:20:40,057 --> 00:20:43,821
No, he punched me in the throat
because I sound like this.
423
00:20:43,941 --> 00:20:45,230
And Consuela, he...
424
00:20:45,350 --> 00:20:47,083
Actually, I can't read
his handwriting here.
425
00:20:47,095 --> 00:20:48,031
What... What happened?
426
00:20:48,034 --> 00:20:50,367
One day, I bring
my nephew to work,
427
00:20:50,434 --> 00:20:54,668
and he molest my nephew,
and my nephew... He only fourteen,
428
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:58,542
and he cry, and then,
he shoot himself in the face.
429
00:20:59,182 --> 00:21:00,644
What are all these?
430
00:21:00,955 --> 00:21:03,480
God, there are tons
of OxyContin bottles in here.
431
00:21:03,885 --> 00:21:05,916
All prescribed to James Woods.
432
00:21:06,175 --> 00:21:07,984
And all from Goldman's Pharmacy.
433
00:21:08,052 --> 00:21:09,519
What's that all about,
Goldman?
434
00:21:09,587 --> 00:21:11,388
I don't know what
you're talking about.
435
00:21:11,455 --> 00:21:14,491
James Woods never bought
anything in my pharmacy. Ever.
436
00:21:14,559 --> 00:21:15,992
Peter:
Yes, he did.
437
00:21:16,060 --> 00:21:18,728
Says here he talked Muriel
into selling him OxyContin
438
00:21:18,796 --> 00:21:20,463
for him and his
nineteen-year-old girlfriend.
439
00:21:20,531 --> 00:21:21,898
This went on for weeks,
440
00:21:21,966 --> 00:21:23,600
but then she started
to have misgivings
441
00:21:23,668 --> 00:21:24,970
and threatened to cut him off.
442
00:21:24,993 --> 00:21:26,520
But he wouldn't let her.
443
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:29,739
He threatened to blackmail her
by turning her in to the Feds.
444
00:21:29,807 --> 00:21:31,775
Sounds like
a pretty good motive to me.
445
00:21:31,843 --> 00:21:33,476
No! No, it's not true!
446
00:21:33,544 --> 00:21:35,245
I would never kill anybody,
never!
447
00:21:35,313 --> 00:21:37,214
And I am not saying another word
448
00:21:37,281 --> 00:21:39,015
until I talk to my lawyer,
because...
449
00:21:39,083 --> 00:21:40,417
Why is he wearing shorts?
450
00:21:40,484 --> 00:21:42,319
Oh, my God,
I told you!
451
00:21:42,386 --> 00:21:44,521
Muriel, just surrender quietly.
452
00:21:44,589 --> 00:21:46,723
It'll be easier
for us all if you...
453
00:21:46,791 --> 00:21:48,425
(Thunder cracking,
electrical hiss)
454
00:21:48,492 --> 00:21:50,126
(Meg screams)
455
00:21:50,194 --> 00:21:51,228
(Brief electrical hiss)
456
00:21:51,295 --> 00:21:52,796
(Gasps)
She's gone!
457
00:22:01,339 --> 00:22:02,439
We lost her.
458
00:22:02,506 --> 00:22:04,474
Well, as long as there's
a murderer on the loose,
459
00:22:04,542 --> 00:22:05,909
none of us are safe.
460
00:22:05,977 --> 00:22:07,777
All right, let's split up
and search the house.
461
00:22:07,845 --> 00:22:09,145
I'll go with Lois.
462
00:22:09,213 --> 00:22:10,947
Chris, you check the basement
with Herbert.
463
00:22:11,015 --> 00:22:12,115
(Spring bounces)
464
00:22:12,183 --> 00:22:13,683
Meg, you go
with Brian and Stewie.
465
00:22:13,751 --> 00:22:15,452
Uh, no,
she... She can't.
466
00:22:15,519 --> 00:22:16,653
Yeah, uh, she can't.
467
00:22:16,721 --> 00:22:19,256
We... we... we were gonna
use this time, uh...
468
00:22:19,323 --> 00:22:21,558
to figure out what to get
you for your birthday.
469
00:22:21,626 --> 00:22:23,326
Ooh, ah, okay.
Oh, yeah, no, you guys go.
470
00:22:23,394 --> 00:22:24,527
You guys...
Ooh, now I'm excited.
471
00:22:24,595 --> 00:22:25,829
Um, okay, um, Meg,
472
00:22:25,897 --> 00:22:27,564
you go with Carl.
Sorry, Carl.
473
00:22:27,632 --> 00:22:28,832
Tom and Diane,
you're a team.
474
00:22:28,900 --> 00:22:30,567
Quagmire and Bonnie,
you're a team.
475
00:22:30,635 --> 00:22:33,503
Um... Seamus and Dr. Hartman?
That... That could be funny.
476
00:22:33,571 --> 00:22:35,305
Don't usually see
the two of you together.
477
00:22:35,373 --> 00:22:37,407
Uh, Derek and Jillian,
you guys take the attic.
478
00:22:37,475 --> 00:22:39,209
Joe and Priscilla
are still passed out,
479
00:22:39,277 --> 00:22:40,644
so they'll be
the unconscious team.
480
00:22:40,711 --> 00:22:43,480
And that leaves
one three-person team
481
00:22:43,547 --> 00:22:45,749
of Mort, Consuela,
and Mayor West.
482
00:22:45,816 --> 00:22:47,951
All right.
Let's do this.
483
00:22:50,788 --> 00:22:53,123
So, uh...
484
00:22:53,190 --> 00:22:54,591
You guys like to party?
485
00:22:54,659 --> 00:22:55,759
(Gasps)
No!
486
00:22:55,826 --> 00:22:57,460
Oh, no.
487
00:22:57,528 --> 00:22:59,896
Oh, my God,
what a couple of squares.
488
00:22:59,964 --> 00:23:01,464
Squaresville,
I tell ya!
489
00:23:05,414 --> 00:23:07,715
(Thunder rumbling)
490
00:23:17,527 --> 00:23:18,994
What are we supposed
to be doing again?
491
00:23:19,062 --> 00:23:20,929
We're looking
for Muriel Goldman, honey.
492
00:23:20,997 --> 00:23:22,064
(Creaks)
493
00:23:31,230 --> 00:23:32,707
Hello?
494
00:23:33,402 --> 00:23:34,846
Is anybody up here?
495
00:23:46,476 --> 00:23:47,943
(Screeches)
496
00:23:48,753 --> 00:23:51,959
Hey, maybe it was that cat
who was the murderer.
497
00:23:52,095 --> 00:23:53,262
Let me ask him.
498
00:23:53,329 --> 00:23:56,064
Meow, meow, meow?
Meow-meow-meow-meow?
499
00:23:56,132 --> 00:23:58,200
We don't all talk like that.
500
00:23:58,268 --> 00:23:59,801
I happen to be a professor.
501
00:23:59,869 --> 00:24:01,270
Our apologies, sir.
502
00:24:01,337 --> 00:24:03,005
I should imagine so.
503
00:24:03,072 --> 00:24:05,240
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have papers to correct.
504
00:24:10,313 --> 00:24:13,488
Chris, I'm worried,
with this killer on the loose.
505
00:24:13,608 --> 00:24:17,010
If I should die, I...
I just want you to know
506
00:24:17,130 --> 00:24:19,218
that they might
find some things.
507
00:24:19,338 --> 00:24:20,684
Strange things.
508
00:24:20,696 --> 00:24:22,880
Things that don't
make sense to you.
509
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:24,559
Um... okay.
510
00:24:24,627 --> 00:24:26,261
And there's gonna
be a lot of talk.
511
00:24:26,329 --> 00:24:27,729
Nasty talk.
512
00:24:27,797 --> 00:24:30,265
And I just want you
to know, from me,
513
00:24:30,333 --> 00:24:32,901
it's all gonna be
out of context.
514
00:24:32,969 --> 00:24:34,770
I don't know
what that means.
515
00:24:34,837 --> 00:24:38,006
It means, if I die,
you got to burn my house down!
516
00:24:44,551 --> 00:24:46,081
(Echoing):
Muriel?
517
00:24:46,149 --> 00:24:48,283
Oh, yeah, like she's going
to answer you, Tom.
518
00:24:48,351 --> 00:24:50,285
And here we go
with the attitude.
519
00:24:50,353 --> 00:24:51,553
This is why you're single.
520
00:24:51,621 --> 00:24:53,322
Oh, so I'm not
supposed to point out
521
00:24:53,389 --> 00:24:54,656
when you do something stupid?
522
00:24:54,724 --> 00:24:56,591
You hear that?
You hear that tone you're using?
523
00:24:56,659 --> 00:24:58,160
That's penis repellent right there.
524
00:25:04,691 --> 00:25:07,897
Careful. She could be hiding
behind any one of these statues.
525
00:25:08,930 --> 00:25:12,441
Muriel, this is Tom Tucker
from the Channel Five News.
526
00:25:12,508 --> 00:25:13,975
Perhaps you'd like
an autograph.
527
00:25:14,043 --> 00:25:16,085
Oh, for God's sakes.
Do you hear yourself?
528
00:25:16,108 --> 00:25:18,083
There it is.
(Mimes spraying repellent)
529
00:25:18,365 --> 00:25:19,645
Knock it off!
530
00:25:19,669 --> 00:25:20,682
(Thud)
531
00:25:21,336 --> 00:25:22,117
Hey, wait a minute.
532
00:25:22,185 --> 00:25:23,952
Doesn't feel like
there's any wall here.
533
00:25:33,001 --> 00:25:34,496
What do you think's in there?
534
00:25:34,564 --> 00:25:36,365
I don't know.
Looks scary.
535
00:25:36,432 --> 00:25:38,166
What do you think, Ollie?
536
00:25:38,579 --> 00:25:39,706
I miss Ollie.
537
00:25:39,730 --> 00:25:41,679
(Sighs)
I better take a look.
538
00:25:41,702 --> 00:25:43,640
No.
I'll go first.
539
00:25:45,847 --> 00:25:47,309
Do you see anything?
540
00:25:47,377 --> 00:25:49,778
No, it's...
It's too dark.
541
00:25:52,148 --> 00:25:54,783
Tom?
Tom!
542
00:25:57,762 --> 00:25:59,454
Oh, sweet.
A pool table.
543
00:25:59,522 --> 00:26:01,323
Let's see if we can
find some cues.
544
00:26:09,098 --> 00:26:10,866
(Thunder crashes,
Carl screams)
545
00:26:10,933 --> 00:26:11,967
(Gasps)
What is it?!
546
00:26:12,034 --> 00:26:14,169
Whew. It's okay.
547
00:26:14,237 --> 00:26:16,538
It's just the stuffed bear
from The Great Outdoors.
548
00:26:16,606 --> 00:26:18,073
Did you see
The Great Outdoors?
549
00:26:18,141 --> 00:26:19,574
- No.
- You suck.
550
00:26:20,153 --> 00:26:21,750
Hey, I found the pool cues!
551
00:26:24,614 --> 00:26:26,448
(Screams)
552
00:26:28,284 --> 00:26:29,184
Meg?
553
00:26:31,154 --> 00:26:32,754
Looks like I'm all alone.
554
00:26:32,822 --> 00:26:34,256
Well, hey, that's all right.
555
00:26:34,323 --> 00:26:35,357
I watch a lot of movies.
556
00:26:35,425 --> 00:26:37,626
I can just use my imagination.
557
00:26:38,157 --> 00:26:40,095
- Hi, Carl.
- Hey, bear.
558
00:26:40,163 --> 00:26:41,763
So, um,
in the bear world,
559
00:26:41,831 --> 00:26:44,900
are, like, pandas your version
of interracial children?
560
00:26:44,967 --> 00:26:47,402
Yeah. Pandas aren't
something I agree with.
561
00:26:47,470 --> 00:26:48,537
They're cute,
though, right?
562
00:26:48,604 --> 00:26:50,305
Just when they're babies.
563
00:26:50,373 --> 00:26:53,208
(Thunder crashes,
rain pours)
564
00:27:00,651 --> 00:27:02,031
(Thunder rumbles)
565
00:27:02,151 --> 00:27:03,919
Boy, it's really
raining hard.
566
00:27:03,986 --> 00:27:06,121
Yeah, well,
we needed it.
567
00:27:06,189 --> 00:27:07,422
What?
568
00:27:07,490 --> 00:27:09,257
Peter, we've been
married a long time.
569
00:27:09,325 --> 00:27:11,526
Why do I still get
"guy in an elevator" small talk?
570
00:27:11,594 --> 00:27:13,795
I don't know. You're the one
talking about the weather.
571
00:27:14,224 --> 00:27:15,197
So...
572
00:27:15,264 --> 00:27:17,999
Looking forward
to the weekend?
573
00:27:24,140 --> 00:27:25,373
(Screams)
574
00:27:25,441 --> 00:27:26,808
It's okay.
It's just us.
575
00:27:26,876 --> 00:27:29,578
Oh, Quagmire, Bonnie,
you scared us.
576
00:27:29,645 --> 00:27:31,713
Have you seen
any sign of Muriel?
577
00:27:31,781 --> 00:27:33,248
Oh, why didn't I
think of this before?
578
00:27:33,316 --> 00:27:35,784
I should just check the
"Find a Jew" app on my phone.
579
00:27:35,852 --> 00:27:38,987
Huh. There's just
two big clusters
580
00:27:39,055 --> 00:27:40,922
on each side of the country.
581
00:27:40,990 --> 00:27:43,091
No, look.
There's one down south.
582
00:27:43,159 --> 00:27:44,359
Ah, they got him.
583
00:27:44,427 --> 00:27:46,261
(Thunder rumbles)
584
00:27:52,735 --> 00:27:54,402
Okay, um...
585
00:27:54,470 --> 00:27:58,173
(Hums theme to Lost in Space)
586
00:27:58,241 --> 00:27:59,741
Oh, uh, Lost in Space.
587
00:27:59,809 --> 00:28:01,543
Yup, okay. Um...
588
00:28:01,611 --> 00:28:04,779
(Hums theme to Dick Van Dyke Show)
589
00:28:04,847 --> 00:28:06,214
Oh, uh, uh,
that's Dick Van Dyke.
590
00:28:06,282 --> 00:28:07,415
Okay, um...
591
00:28:07,483 --> 00:28:09,117
Oh, okay, I... I...
I got one, um...
592
00:28:09,185 --> 00:28:15,524
(Hums theme to Dynasty)
593
00:28:15,591 --> 00:28:16,758
I have no idea.
594
00:28:16,826 --> 00:28:19,895
♪ Linda Evans
and John Forsythe. ♪
595
00:28:19,962 --> 00:28:22,664
♪ They're coming down
big, long stairs. ♪
596
00:28:22,732 --> 00:28:25,166
♪ Come on, Brian,
you know this. ♪
597
00:28:25,234 --> 00:28:26,635
♪ We're all rich. ♪
598
00:28:26,702 --> 00:28:31,273
♪ And we're all at least
in our late 50s. ♪
599
00:28:31,340 --> 00:28:33,275
♪ Think Joan Collins. ♪
600
00:28:33,342 --> 00:28:34,943
(Humming trumpet part)
601
00:28:35,011 --> 00:28:36,011
♪ Come on, Brian,
you know this. ♪
602
00:28:36,078 --> 00:28:37,345
(Humming trumpet part)
603
00:28:37,413 --> 00:28:38,246
♪ It's the middle
trumpet part. ♪
604
00:28:38,314 --> 00:28:39,648
(Humming trumpet part)
605
00:28:39,715 --> 00:28:41,917
♪ It was a pretty big deal
for Diahann Carroll ♪
606
00:28:41,984 --> 00:28:44,219
♪ to play a rich, black woman
in the 80s. ♪
607
00:28:44,287 --> 00:28:45,954
Come on, Bri. Right?
Y... You don't know this?
608
00:28:46,022 --> 00:28:47,422
Uh, Falcon Crest?
609
00:28:47,490 --> 00:28:49,190
Oh, it's "Dinasty"!
610
00:28:49,258 --> 00:28:51,226
Oh. Yeah, I...
I didn't watch that.
611
00:28:51,294 --> 00:28:53,395
(Woman screams)
612
00:28:58,501 --> 00:29:00,001
(Thunder crashes)
613
00:29:00,069 --> 00:29:01,836
(Screaming)
Oh, my God!
614
00:29:02,572 --> 00:29:03,876
(All gasp)
615
00:29:04,146 --> 00:29:05,320
(All gasp)
616
00:29:05,775 --> 00:29:07,842
Oh, my God, Muriel!
617
00:29:07,910 --> 00:29:09,477
My sweet Muriel!
618
00:29:09,545 --> 00:29:12,714
She was so young.
She was so beauti...
619
00:29:12,782 --> 00:29:14,482
She was so genero...
620
00:29:14,550 --> 00:29:16,818
Uh, we were married.
621
00:29:16,886 --> 00:29:20,055
Look! This is the same knife
that killed James Woods.
622
00:29:20,122 --> 00:29:21,456
Oh, my God!
623
00:29:21,524 --> 00:29:23,725
Then Muriel wasn't the killer.
624
00:29:23,793 --> 00:29:25,760
Well, then, who is?
625
00:29:25,828 --> 00:29:27,862
I don't know,
but one thing's for sure.
626
00:29:27,930 --> 00:29:30,599
If we don't find out
before this storm lets up,
627
00:29:30,666 --> 00:29:33,335
we're all gonna be dead
by morning.
628
00:29:41,170 --> 00:29:44,272
(Thunder crashes)
629
00:29:47,910 --> 00:29:49,744
All right, if we're going
to make it out alive,
630
00:29:49,812 --> 00:29:51,246
we got to stick
together from now on.
631
00:29:51,314 --> 00:29:52,981
Is everyone here?
632
00:29:53,049 --> 00:29:54,149
Wait a minute, wait.
Where's Meg?
633
00:29:54,217 --> 00:29:55,350
And where's Tom Tucker?
634
00:29:55,418 --> 00:29:56,518
Right here!
635
00:29:56,586 --> 00:29:58,186
Oh, my God!
What happened?
636
00:29:58,254 --> 00:29:59,554
I fell through a trapdoor
637
00:29:59,622 --> 00:30:01,022
that led to
an underground passageway.
638
00:30:01,090 --> 00:30:02,657
So I followed it,
and it led me
639
00:30:02,725 --> 00:30:03,925
to a hatch over there
in the parlor.
640
00:30:03,993 --> 00:30:05,360
The same thing
happened to me.
641
00:30:05,428 --> 00:30:06,494
But with a moustache.
642
00:30:06,562 --> 00:30:07,896
Hey, Peter,
look at this.
643
00:30:07,964 --> 00:30:10,298
I'm getting a faint signal
on my cell phone.
644
00:30:10,366 --> 00:30:11,521
Really?
645
00:30:11,641 --> 00:30:13,071
Oh, my God, is that...
646
00:30:13,191 --> 00:30:15,203
Are you holding up
the whole Hollywood sign?
647
00:30:15,271 --> 00:30:16,304
(Chuckling):
No, no, no, no.
648
00:30:16,372 --> 00:30:18,173
The sign was way
in the background.
649
00:30:18,241 --> 00:30:20,275
I was standing in the
foreground going like this
650
00:30:20,343 --> 00:30:21,837
when Jillian took the picture,
651
00:30:21,860 --> 00:30:23,144
so by forced perspective,
652
00:30:23,212 --> 00:30:25,013
it looks like I'm holding
up the whole sign.
653
00:30:25,081 --> 00:30:27,415
I don't believe you.
I think you are a God.
654
00:30:27,483 --> 00:30:29,684
And I will die for
you or kill others.
655
00:30:29,752 --> 00:30:31,086
Damn it.
The signal's gone.
656
00:30:31,153 --> 00:30:33,154
If I can get up
to the roof or something,
657
00:30:33,222 --> 00:30:35,657
maybe I can get a stronger
signal and call the police.
658
00:30:35,725 --> 00:30:38,326
Okay. And I will skin
this dog in your honor.
659
00:30:38,394 --> 00:30:39,694
- Please don't.
- As you wish.
660
00:30:39,762 --> 00:30:41,730
Do you really think
it could work, Derek?
661
00:30:41,797 --> 00:30:43,465
There's only one
way to find out.
662
00:30:43,532 --> 00:30:44,866
I'll be back.
663
00:30:46,802 --> 00:30:48,937
All right, nobody leaves
this room until he gets back.
664
00:30:49,005 --> 00:30:50,805
Wait a minute.
665
00:30:50,873 --> 00:30:52,841
Something's not right here.
666
00:30:52,909 --> 00:30:55,377
We're short one vagina
in this room.
667
00:30:55,444 --> 00:30:56,945
Oh, my God!
668
00:30:57,013 --> 00:30:58,280
Priscilla's gone!
669
00:30:58,347 --> 00:31:01,016
(Thunder crashes)
670
00:31:01,083 --> 00:31:02,183
(All gasp)
671
00:31:02,251 --> 00:31:04,085
Th... That's impossible.
672
00:31:04,153 --> 00:31:06,087
She was still passed out
on the couch when we left.
673
00:31:06,155 --> 00:31:07,255
(Groans)
674
00:31:07,323 --> 00:31:08,823
What the hell happened?
675
00:31:08,891 --> 00:31:10,492
Joe!
You're okay!
676
00:31:10,559 --> 00:31:12,260
Yeah, I'm fine.
What's going on?
677
00:31:12,328 --> 00:31:14,462
What's going on is,
Priscilla's the murderer!
678
00:31:14,530 --> 00:31:15,730
Wait a second.
We don't know that.
679
00:31:15,798 --> 00:31:17,732
Well, she was by herself
this whole time!
680
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:19,100
Yes, but she was unconscious!
681
00:31:19,168 --> 00:31:21,069
She could've come to
and killed Muriel!
682
00:31:21,137 --> 00:31:23,171
This is all speculation!
We don't know she's the killer!
683
00:31:23,239 --> 00:31:24,306
Yeah, besides, she's hot!
684
00:31:24,373 --> 00:31:25,640
Hot chicks are never crazy!
685
00:31:25,708 --> 00:31:27,175
Derek lifted
up the Hollywood sign.
686
00:31:27,243 --> 00:31:29,978
(Shouting at each other,
arguing frantically)
687
00:31:31,547 --> 00:31:33,882
Peter: He did, too!
I saw the picture!
688
00:32:12,855 --> 00:32:14,689
(Thunder crashes)
689
00:32:17,460 --> 00:32:19,294
(Waves crashing)
690
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:24,849
Come on.
691
00:32:34,843 --> 00:32:35,777
Yes!
692
00:32:35,845 --> 00:32:37,712
(Keys beeping)
693
00:32:39,422 --> 00:32:40,248
Hey.
694
00:32:40,316 --> 00:32:41,883
What are you doing up here?
695
00:32:41,951 --> 00:32:43,151
Wait a minute.
696
00:32:43,219 --> 00:32:44,819
What the hell is this?
697
00:32:44,887 --> 00:32:47,222
Oh, my God!
It's you!
698
00:32:47,289 --> 00:32:49,958
The man or woman
who's been killing everybody!
699
00:32:50,026 --> 00:32:51,693
Stay back.
Stay back.
700
00:32:51,761 --> 00:32:52,827
(Bone crunches)
701
00:32:53,963 --> 00:32:55,363
(Thuds)
702
00:33:02,038 --> 00:33:03,471
It came from over there!
703
00:33:05,541 --> 00:33:06,641
(All gasp)
704
00:33:06,709 --> 00:33:08,209
Dear God!
705
00:33:10,746 --> 00:33:12,213
He's dead.
706
00:33:12,281 --> 00:33:14,282
Do you think he
slipped off the roof?
707
00:33:14,350 --> 00:33:16,684
Maybe. But he was dead
before the fall.
708
00:33:16,752 --> 00:33:19,954
Look at this... He's been hit
on the head by a blunt object.
709
00:33:20,022 --> 00:33:22,924
Oh, my God, no, Derek!
710
00:33:22,992 --> 00:33:25,160
(Squeaky sobbing)
Oh, Jillian, I'm so sorry.
711
00:33:25,227 --> 00:33:26,628
Peter:
Hey, can you grab his phone?
712
00:33:26,695 --> 00:33:28,730
I want to prove
something to these guys.
713
00:33:32,620 --> 00:33:34,535
(Thunder crashing)
714
00:33:34,565 --> 00:33:37,167
(Wind whistling)
715
00:33:37,235 --> 00:33:38,568
I... I...
It's Priscilla.
716
00:33:38,636 --> 00:33:40,070
I... I mean,
it's got to be Priscilla.
717
00:33:40,138 --> 00:33:41,505
She's the only one
who's not here.
718
00:33:41,572 --> 00:33:42,606
Look, maybe, maybe not.
719
00:33:42,674 --> 00:33:44,872
We thought Muriel was the killer,
and look how that turned out.
720
00:33:44,884 --> 00:33:46,070
We have no proof of anything.
721
00:33:46,093 --> 00:33:47,887
Is this the latest
you've ever stayed up?
722
00:33:47,900 --> 00:33:49,913
It's the latest
I've ever stayed up.
723
00:33:50,338 --> 00:33:54,217
Oh, no! Someone take
Mr. Woods' Golden Globe!
724
00:33:57,288 --> 00:34:00,323
She's right! There was a Golden Globe
award here, and it's gone.
725
00:34:00,391 --> 00:34:02,822
I think we may have
identified our blunt object.
726
00:34:02,834 --> 00:34:04,677
So all we have to do
is find that Golden Globe
727
00:34:04,689 --> 00:34:07,448
and we'll have our murder weapon...
And if we're lucky,
728
00:34:07,472 --> 00:34:09,268
it may just mean
we'll have our killer.
729
00:34:09,292 --> 00:34:11,777
All right, from
this moment forward,
730
00:34:11,789 --> 00:34:13,468
nobody leaves the group.
731
00:34:13,491 --> 00:34:14,971
Joe's right.
Everyone huddle up.
732
00:34:17,193 --> 00:34:19,060
Good. Now, we're gonna
search the house,
733
00:34:19,128 --> 00:34:20,695
and we're gonna move as one.
734
00:34:20,763 --> 00:34:22,097
Anyone who separates
from the group
735
00:34:22,165 --> 00:34:23,932
we will assume to be the killer.
736
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:25,033
All clear?
737
00:34:25,101 --> 00:34:26,735
Others:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
738
00:34:26,803 --> 00:34:27,769
All right.
739
00:34:27,837 --> 00:34:28,870
Let's do this!
740
00:34:39,515 --> 00:34:40,982
Oh, boy,
we got a problem here.
741
00:34:41,050 --> 00:34:42,451
All right,
on the count of three.
742
00:34:42,518 --> 00:34:44,119
One, two...
743
00:34:44,187 --> 00:34:45,420
three!
744
00:34:45,488 --> 00:34:46,521
Thanks, guys.
745
00:34:46,589 --> 00:34:49,257
(Peter humming "Hava Nagila")
746
00:34:49,325 --> 00:34:52,394
Stop it, Peter.
(Continues humming)
747
00:34:52,462 --> 00:34:53,728
Peter, knock it off!
748
00:34:53,796 --> 00:34:55,096
Okay, Jew. Joe.
749
00:34:55,164 --> 00:34:56,631
Shut up!
I'm not Jewish!
750
00:34:56,699 --> 00:34:59,534
Well! I think we've
learned a little something
751
00:34:59,602 --> 00:35:02,637
about our friendly neighborhood
policeman today.
752
00:35:03,955 --> 00:35:06,074
All right, we got to search
every one of these rooms.
753
00:35:06,142 --> 00:35:07,409
We'll start with Quagmire's.
754
00:35:11,481 --> 00:35:13,448
Oh, my God!
755
00:35:13,516 --> 00:35:15,417
Are those
Stephanie's underpants?
756
00:35:15,485 --> 00:35:16,451
Oh, God.
757
00:35:16,519 --> 00:35:17,819
They're huge!
758
00:35:17,887 --> 00:35:20,589
Looks like the crotch got
chewed on by a walrus mouth.
759
00:35:20,656 --> 00:35:22,791
(Laughs)
Look, it's got flowers!
760
00:35:22,859 --> 00:35:24,125
I mean, why bother?
761
00:35:24,193 --> 00:35:25,427
Who's gonna see 'em?
762
00:35:25,495 --> 00:35:28,129
Maybe someone in space.
763
00:35:28,197 --> 00:35:29,731
(Raucous laughter)
764
00:35:29,799 --> 00:35:32,267
Come on, guys, can't we all
just be glad she's dead?
765
00:35:42,745 --> 00:35:44,579
Whose room is this?
766
00:35:44,647 --> 00:35:46,081
It's, uh, my room.
767
00:35:46,148 --> 00:35:48,650
You travel with a giant
poster of yourself?
768
00:35:48,718 --> 00:35:51,920
Yes. It helps me get to sleep,
knowing that Big Tom Tucker
769
00:35:51,988 --> 00:35:54,665
is keeping a watchful eye out
for nocturnal intruders.
770
00:35:54,689 --> 00:35:56,814
What a ridiculous
man you are.
771
00:35:56,837 --> 00:35:58,916
Look, I didn't know my room
was gonna be scrutinized.
772
00:35:58,939 --> 00:36:00,695
I... If you don't like it,
let's get out of here.
773
00:36:00,763 --> 00:36:02,964
Not till we've
searched the place.
774
00:36:13,543 --> 00:36:15,610
(Gasps)
775
00:36:15,678 --> 00:36:18,013
You guys?
776
00:36:19,215 --> 00:36:20,649
(Thunder crashing)
777
00:36:20,716 --> 00:36:21,716
(All gasp)
778
00:36:21,727 --> 00:36:23,385
Oh, my God!
779
00:36:25,179 --> 00:36:29,124
Well, well, I think
we've found our killer.
780
00:36:29,191 --> 00:36:31,026
Oh, now, now, wait a minute,
that's not mine!
781
00:36:31,093 --> 00:36:33,495
I suppose it crawled under
your bed all by itself.
782
00:36:33,563 --> 00:36:34,563
Well, maybe it did.
783
00:36:34,630 --> 00:36:35,764
I didn't murder anybody.
784
00:36:35,831 --> 00:36:37,566
Tell it to Mike Judge.
785
00:36:37,633 --> 00:36:39,501
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
uh, this is crazy,
786
00:36:39,569 --> 00:36:40,702
Wh... What about Priscilla?
787
00:36:40,770 --> 00:36:42,404
We have no idea
where she is.
788
00:36:42,471 --> 00:36:43,738
She could've planted that there.
789
00:36:43,806 --> 00:36:45,073
Well, uh...
790
00:36:45,141 --> 00:36:47,842
I suppose it's possible.
791
00:36:47,910 --> 00:36:50,045
What the hell?
792
00:36:50,112 --> 00:36:52,380
Aw, dang it,
I got a nosebleed.
793
00:36:52,448 --> 00:36:54,783
No, you don't.
794
00:36:59,388 --> 00:37:01,022
Peter, give me a boost.
795
00:37:01,090 --> 00:37:02,724
(Grunting)
796
00:37:08,264 --> 00:37:09,864
(All scream)
797
00:37:09,932 --> 00:37:12,434
You're going to jail,
Tucker.
798
00:37:12,501 --> 00:37:14,536
Like hell I am!
You're not taking me anywhere,
799
00:37:14,604 --> 00:37:15,837
you podunk,
Quahog redneck cop!
800
00:37:15,905 --> 00:37:18,173
Not you or anyone else
in this damn town!
801
00:37:18,240 --> 00:37:19,975
I'm not going to jail!
802
00:37:21,477 --> 00:37:23,211
After him!
803
00:37:39,528 --> 00:37:40,729
Give it up, Tucker!
804
00:37:40,796 --> 00:37:41,963
Make me, Swanson!
805
00:37:52,375 --> 00:37:53,842
(All panting)
806
00:37:53,909 --> 00:37:55,844
Damn, he's slippery.
807
00:37:55,911 --> 00:37:57,612
(Panting)
You guys give up?
808
00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:59,814
- What do we do?
- Wait a minute, wait a minute, guys!
809
00:37:59,882 --> 00:38:02,064
- I got an idea.
- Shoot.
810
00:38:02,088 --> 00:38:04,019
What if half of us go around
one side of the table,
811
00:38:04,086 --> 00:38:05,654
and the other half
go around the other side,
812
00:38:05,721 --> 00:38:07,789
and then we won't have
to chase him around in circles.
813
00:38:07,857 --> 00:38:09,224
Damn, that's awfully risky.
814
00:38:09,291 --> 00:38:12,961
It sure is, but at this point
I'm willing to try anything.
815
00:38:14,263 --> 00:38:16,364
All right.
Let's do it!
816
00:38:17,700 --> 00:38:19,567
(Thumping)
Peter: It worked!
817
00:38:19,635 --> 00:38:21,569
(Grunting)
Let me go!
818
00:38:21,637 --> 00:38:23,371
Let me go,
you bastards!
819
00:38:23,439 --> 00:38:25,040
You're all gonna
pay for this!
820
00:38:25,107 --> 00:38:26,541
(Grunting, punch lands)
821
00:38:26,609 --> 00:38:29,377
Just for that, when the movie
of this story comes out,
822
00:38:29,445 --> 00:38:32,123
I'm gonna make sure
Adrian Brody plays you.
823
00:38:32,146 --> 00:38:34,107
I guess that means you
don't want anyone to see it.
824
00:38:34,131 --> 00:38:35,984
(Laughter)
825
00:38:36,052 --> 00:38:38,019
(Laughter dies down)
Okay. All right.
826
00:38:58,240 --> 00:39:00,375
(birds chirping)
827
00:39:06,716 --> 00:39:10,018
Thanks a lot for
your help, boys.
828
00:39:16,705 --> 00:39:19,042
You know, despite all
the craziness this weekend,
829
00:39:19,053 --> 00:39:20,991
I feel like a lot of people
were looking at me
830
00:39:21,003 --> 00:39:22,282
like I was really attractive.
831
00:39:22,298 --> 00:39:25,133
Which makes me think that
I'm gonna grow up to be good-looking.
832
00:39:25,201 --> 00:39:26,434
What part of
that statement
833
00:39:26,502 --> 00:39:28,369
is supposed to lure me
into a conversation?
834
00:39:28,437 --> 00:39:30,764
I talk to you about
wet tennis balls.
835
00:39:32,243 --> 00:39:35,009
- Oh, come on!
- We're in a fight!
836
00:39:36,579 --> 00:39:39,614
Lois, are any of my Hot Wheels
in the bath... L... Lois?
837
00:39:39,682 --> 00:39:41,116
Lois? Lois?
838
00:39:41,183 --> 00:39:43,818
Lois, are any of my Hot Wheels
in the bathroom?
839
00:39:43,886 --> 00:39:45,453
No, I put 'em all in your bag.
840
00:39:45,521 --> 00:39:47,288
Okay, well,
I don't see the fire engine,
841
00:39:47,356 --> 00:39:51,526
but I guess we'll just find out
when we get home, won't we?
842
00:39:51,594 --> 00:39:53,828
I'll see you in the car.
843
00:39:58,701 --> 00:40:00,435
Hi, Diane.
844
00:40:00,503 --> 00:40:01,903
Oh, hi, Lois.
845
00:40:01,971 --> 00:40:03,304
How you doing?
846
00:40:03,372 --> 00:40:05,840
I just thought I'd
make sure you were okay.
847
00:40:05,908 --> 00:40:07,776
Oh, I'm managing.
848
00:40:07,843 --> 00:40:09,811
It's just...
so hard to believe
849
00:40:09,879 --> 00:40:12,013
you can work with someone
for fifteen years
850
00:40:12,081 --> 00:40:14,415
and yet have no idea
who they really are
851
00:40:14,483 --> 00:40:15,850
or what they're capable of.
852
00:40:15,918 --> 00:40:16,951
Oh, I know.
853
00:40:17,019 --> 00:40:18,419
And I'm sorry.
854
00:40:18,487 --> 00:40:20,355
So, what happens now?
855
00:40:20,422 --> 00:40:22,557
Will you just anchor
the news by yourself?
856
00:40:22,625 --> 00:40:24,559
I suppose,
for the time being.
857
00:40:24,627 --> 00:40:26,895
Well, that's kind of
exciting, right?
858
00:40:26,962 --> 00:40:28,696
(Chuckles)
You sound like my mother.
859
00:40:28,764 --> 00:40:32,634
She actually bought me this blouse
for my first solo broadcast.
860
00:40:32,701 --> 00:40:34,369
I guess that's sweet, huh?
861
00:40:34,436 --> 00:40:36,070
She... uh...
862
00:40:36,138 --> 00:40:38,039
I'm sorry, I don't understand.
863
00:40:38,107 --> 00:40:39,174
What do you mean?
864
00:40:39,241 --> 00:40:40,809
I mean, how could she have known
865
00:40:40,876 --> 00:40:42,210
you'd be anchoring alone?
866
00:40:42,278 --> 00:40:44,746
I mean, none of this
happened until...
867
00:40:51,387 --> 00:40:52,687
(Soft gasp)
868
00:40:52,755 --> 00:40:56,157
Gosh, I, uh, you know,
I think I'd better, uh...
869
00:40:56,225 --> 00:40:59,027
go make sure Peter
has his, uh...
870
00:40:59,094 --> 00:41:00,395
fire engine.
871
00:41:00,462 --> 00:41:01,462
Oh, really?
872
00:41:01,530 --> 00:41:03,364
But I was enjoying our talk.
873
00:41:03,432 --> 00:41:05,967
Oh, no, I... So was I,
but, you know,
874
00:41:06,035 --> 00:41:07,902
I've, really, I should...
I should go.
875
00:41:07,970 --> 00:41:10,238
No.
I don't think so.
876
00:41:10,306 --> 00:41:11,940
Oh, my God.
877
00:41:12,007 --> 00:41:13,975
Oh, my God, it was you.
878
00:41:14,043 --> 00:41:15,610
You're the killer!
879
00:41:15,678 --> 00:41:17,011
Very clever, Lois.
880
00:41:17,079 --> 00:41:19,180
You shouldn't have stopped
to say hi to me.
881
00:41:19,248 --> 00:41:20,548
You would've lived longer.
882
00:41:20,616 --> 00:41:23,251
God, why do I ever try to
be friends with other women?
883
00:41:23,319 --> 00:41:24,452
But, Diane, why?
884
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:26,988
How could you do all
these horrible things?
885
00:41:27,056 --> 00:41:29,624
Well, I suppose it all
really began a year ago
886
00:41:29,692 --> 00:41:31,426
when James Woods and I met
887
00:41:31,493 --> 00:41:33,628
at a press eventand began seeing each other.
888
00:41:42,537 --> 00:41:43,938
We both valuedour privacy, however,
889
00:41:44,006 --> 00:41:47,242
so we agreed to keep ita secret from the media.
890
00:41:52,612 --> 00:41:56,299
Everything in my lifewas wonderful.
891
00:41:56,323 --> 00:41:59,053
But then a few months ago,I turned fourty.
892
00:41:59,121 --> 00:42:01,356
Others:
Surprise!
893
00:42:01,423 --> 00:42:03,157
It was hard for meto begin with,
894
00:42:03,225 --> 00:42:06,527
but it got worse when,not so coincidentally,
895
00:42:06,595 --> 00:42:08,763
Tom began pushingChannel Five News to replace me
896
00:42:08,831 --> 00:42:10,865
with a fresh, young face,
897
00:42:10,933 --> 00:42:12,533
and he succeeded.
898
00:42:13,171 --> 00:42:16,237
Three weeks from now,I'll be off the air.
899
00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:20,174
Well, apparently,all men think the same way,
900
00:42:20,242 --> 00:42:22,268
because around the same time,
901
00:42:22,291 --> 00:42:23,865
James dumped me.
902
00:42:25,881 --> 00:42:28,683
I watched my careerand my love life crumble,
903
00:42:28,751 --> 00:42:31,589
and I wasn't gonna juststand by and take it.
904
00:42:31,709 --> 00:42:32,987
That's when I hadthe good fortune
905
00:42:33,055 --> 00:42:36,057
to meet a young news internnamed Priscilla.
906
00:42:36,125 --> 00:42:38,726
She was so anxious to getinto the reporting business
907
00:42:38,794 --> 00:42:41,448
and would have done anything
to get on my good side.
908
00:42:41,472 --> 00:42:43,151
So I seized the moment.
909
00:42:43,174 --> 00:42:46,438
I paid her off to seduceJames Woodsand reel him
910
00:42:46,450 --> 00:42:49,537
into a relationshiplike a fish on a line.
911
00:42:49,605 --> 00:42:51,973
I knew a hot, young womanlike Priscilla
912
00:42:52,041 --> 00:42:55,009
could manipulate himinto doing anything I wanted.
913
00:42:55,077 --> 00:42:56,678
At my direction,she persuaded him
914
00:42:56,745 --> 00:42:58,638
to becomea born-again Christian,
915
00:42:58,662 --> 00:43:01,104
and instilled him withthe driveto bring together
916
00:43:01,116 --> 00:43:03,351
all the people he'd wronged.
917
00:43:03,419 --> 00:43:06,354
That's how this weekendcame to pass.
918
00:43:06,422 --> 00:43:09,662
Of course, Priscilla knewnothing of my real intentions,
919
00:43:09,685 --> 00:43:12,827
but she played the partbeautifully, nonetheless.
920
00:43:12,895 --> 00:43:14,896
There's no way
she could have known
921
00:43:14,964 --> 00:43:18,099
I planned to kill James Woods
and frame Tom Tucker,
922
00:43:18,167 --> 00:43:20,034
thereby destroying
the two people
923
00:43:20,102 --> 00:43:22,804
who cast me aside
and ruined my life.
924
00:43:22,871 --> 00:43:24,839
Oh, my God...
925
00:43:24,907 --> 00:43:26,374
you're fourty?
926
00:43:26,442 --> 00:43:28,509
Yes.
I'm fourty.
927
00:43:28,577 --> 00:43:30,845
But then why did
you kill the others?
928
00:43:30,913 --> 00:43:33,147
It was all supposed
to go so smoothly.
929
00:43:33,215 --> 00:43:34,882
The hidden gun goes off,
930
00:43:34,950 --> 00:43:37,118
kills James Woods,and at the first opportunity,
931
00:43:37,186 --> 00:43:40,488
I retrieve the gunand plant it in Tom's bag.
932
00:43:40,556 --> 00:43:41,923
James Woods is dead,
933
00:43:41,991 --> 00:43:44,392
Tom goes to prison...Nice and easy.
934
00:43:44,964 --> 00:43:46,925
But Stephanie got in the way.
935
00:43:46,936 --> 00:43:49,285
She was in James' chairat the wrong time.
936
00:43:49,308 --> 00:43:52,233
And when I realized my mistake,I had to improvise.
937
00:43:52,301 --> 00:43:55,236
The power outage provideda perfect cover.
938
00:43:55,304 --> 00:43:59,073
I grabbed the knife off thedinner table and stabbed him.
939
00:43:59,141 --> 00:44:01,509
But as Joe pointed out,there were fingerprints.
940
00:44:01,577 --> 00:44:03,277
I couldn't just leave it there.
941
00:44:03,345 --> 00:44:05,847
So when Tom and I got separatedin the gallery,
942
00:44:05,914 --> 00:44:08,449
I went back into the diningroomand got the knife.
943
00:44:08,517 --> 00:44:09,718
But at that moment,
944
00:44:09,730 --> 00:44:11,953
Priscilla regainedconsciousnessafter fainting.
945
00:44:12,021 --> 00:44:14,295
She startedto become hysterical.
946
00:44:14,318 --> 00:44:16,224
I knew I couldn'trisk her revealing
947
00:44:16,291 --> 00:44:18,526
that I had engineeredthis whole gathering...
948
00:44:18,594 --> 00:44:19,861
so I killed her.
949
00:44:19,928 --> 00:44:21,737
And I hid her in Tom's room.
950
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:23,031
I tried to plant the knife
951
00:44:23,098 --> 00:44:24,899
in Tom's suitcase,but at that moment,
952
00:44:24,919 --> 00:44:27,652
Muriel walked in,caught me in the act.
953
00:44:27,675 --> 00:44:29,580
It wasn't her fault,poor thing,
954
00:44:29,604 --> 00:44:30,978
but she had to die.
955
00:44:31,001 --> 00:44:33,584
I stabbed her,and she screamed.
956
00:44:33,608 --> 00:44:34,675
I had to leave the knife
957
00:44:34,743 --> 00:44:36,310
in her, becauseI couldn't very well
958
00:44:36,378 --> 00:44:38,859
hide it on my person witheveryone quickly closing in.
959
00:44:38,979 --> 00:44:42,170
So I wiped offthe fingerprints and ran.
960
00:44:42,290 --> 00:44:44,052
I slipped inwith the rest of the group,
961
00:44:44,119 --> 00:44:46,087
when they all convergedon the scene.
962
00:44:46,155 --> 00:44:49,436
I needed more timeto finish my work framing Tom.
963
00:44:49,556 --> 00:44:51,972
But that's when Derekwent out to the balcony.
964
00:44:52,217 --> 00:44:54,095
I couldn't let himcontact the police
965
00:44:54,107 --> 00:44:55,516
before everythingwas in the place.
966
00:44:55,539 --> 00:44:57,331
So I had to kill him, too.
967
00:44:57,399 --> 00:44:59,033
When Peter was yellingat everyone
968
00:44:59,101 --> 00:45:01,702
about that picture of Derekholding up the Hollywood sign,
969
00:45:01,770 --> 00:45:04,806
I grabbed the Golden Globeand slipped out.
970
00:45:05,164 --> 00:45:07,475
I followed Derek outsideand did what I had to do.
971
00:45:10,882 --> 00:45:12,916
I barely had enough timeto plant the Golden Globe
972
00:45:12,928 --> 00:45:14,889
in Tom's room and run backdownstairs,
973
00:45:14,912 --> 00:45:16,967
where I took advantageof the commotion
974
00:45:16,991 --> 00:45:18,259
and joined the crowd
975
00:45:18,270 --> 00:45:20,583
as they were all runningoutside.
976
00:45:21,323 --> 00:45:22,890
And the rest...
977
00:45:22,958 --> 00:45:24,961
Well, you didall the rest for me.
978
00:45:24,973 --> 00:45:28,366
You turned on Tomexactly as I planned.
979
00:45:29,130 --> 00:45:30,680
So there it is, Lois.
980
00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:33,111
My God.
981
00:45:33,231 --> 00:45:35,870
But wait, there's one
thing unaccounted for...
982
00:45:35,938 --> 00:45:37,905
What happened to
Stephanie's body?
983
00:45:37,973 --> 00:45:40,007
Actually, that's
the one thing I don't know.
984
00:45:42,583 --> 00:45:43,778
Damn it!
985
00:45:45,598 --> 00:45:48,330
Well, now you know
everything, Lois.
986
00:45:48,345 --> 00:45:50,651
Which, of course,
means I have to kill you.
987
00:45:55,591 --> 00:45:56,757
Lois, are you coming?
988
00:45:56,825 --> 00:45:58,559
I can't play my tapes
without the key.
989
00:45:58,627 --> 00:46:00,895
Well, actually, Lois and I
were just about to go
990
00:46:00,963 --> 00:46:03,164
for a quick walk,
weren't we, Lois?
991
00:46:03,232 --> 00:46:04,765
We've been getting
better acquainted.
992
00:46:04,833 --> 00:46:06,434
All right, well,
just give me the key, please.
993
00:46:06,502 --> 00:46:08,736
All right, Peter,
I'll get it.
994
00:46:08,804 --> 00:46:11,072
Don't put a gun in my back.
995
00:46:11,140 --> 00:46:13,341
I'm not, I'm just asking for the key.
Give me the key.
996
00:46:13,408 --> 00:46:15,343
Lois: Peter, we've
been married twenty years.
997
00:46:15,410 --> 00:46:17,378
Please recognize when I'macting out of the ordinary
998
00:46:17,446 --> 00:46:18,846
because I'm in danger.
999
00:46:18,914 --> 00:46:22,416
Here you go.
Here's the key, Pete.
1000
00:46:22,484 --> 00:46:24,018
Peter:
Why is she calling me Pete?
1001
00:46:24,086 --> 00:46:25,820
We been married fourteen years.She never called me Pete.
1002
00:46:25,888 --> 00:46:27,455
Why am I trying tofigure this out
1003
00:46:27,523 --> 00:46:29,557
when I could be listeningto my tapes in the car?
1004
00:46:30,041 --> 00:46:30,875
Bye.
1005
00:46:32,448 --> 00:46:33,916
Shall we?
1006
00:47:08,096 --> 00:47:11,265
Well, it's a shame that
you have to die, Lois,
1007
00:47:11,333 --> 00:47:13,000
but look on the bright side:
1008
00:47:13,068 --> 00:47:15,836
You'll be a story
on the 6:00 news.
1009
00:47:15,904 --> 00:47:18,139
You know, unless a local
cat does something funny.
1010
00:47:18,207 --> 00:47:20,641
Diane, please,
please, don't do this!
1011
00:47:20,709 --> 00:47:23,110
I won't tell anybody,
I swear to God!
1012
00:47:23,178 --> 00:47:26,047
That's right.
You won't.
1013
00:47:26,114 --> 00:47:27,548
Good-bye, Lois.
1014
00:47:31,853 --> 00:47:33,621
(Gunshot)
1015
00:47:38,927 --> 00:47:40,828
(Gasps)
1016
00:47:44,366 --> 00:47:47,468
(Screaming)
1017
00:47:56,211 --> 00:47:57,812
Lois:
Hello?
1018
00:48:00,616 --> 00:48:02,650
Is anyone there?
1019
00:48:07,756 --> 00:48:11,626
Whoever you are...
Thank you!
1020
00:48:19,635 --> 00:48:23,070
If anybody's gonna take that
bitch down, it's gonna be me.
1021
00:48:34,036 --> 00:48:38,744
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
75266
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