All language subtitles for Return.to.the.Wild.The.Chris.McCandless.Story.2014.720p.PBS.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264

male narrator: IN APRIL 1992,

A 24-YEAR-OLD HIKER,

CHRISTOPHER MCCANDLESS,

WALKED INTO ALASKA'S
SNOW-COVERED WILDERNESS

BY HIMSELF.

"THIS IS THE LAST
YOU'LL HEAR FROM ME,"

HE WROTE A FRIEND.

"I NOW WALK INTO THE WILD."

HIS JOURNAL SAYS
THAT ON THE FOURTH DAY,

HE CAME UPON A FAIRBANKS CITY
TRANSIT BUS

ABANDONED
ON AN OLD MINING TRAIL.

HE SPENT 110 DAYS
LIVING OFF THE LAND.

HE HAD NOT SPOKEN TO HIS FAMILY
FOR TWO YEARS.

NOBODY KNEW HE WAS THERE.

- HE DIDN'T TALK TO ANYBODY.
THAT'S A FACT.

- NO--NO COMMUNICATION
WITH ANYBODY HE KNEW.

- YEAH.
SO HE--HE KNEW--

I'M SURE THAT HE KNEW
THAT I AND BILLY

WOULD BE LOOKING FOR HIM.

AND WE DID.
WE TRIED TO.

narrator: CHRIS ULTIMATELY
SUCCUMBED TO STARVATION

AND DIED ALONE.

HIS BODY WAS FOUND BY HUNTERS
A FEW WEEKS LATER.

THEY ALSO FOUND BOOKS FILLED
WITH NOTES, FIVE ROLLS OF FILM,

AND A DAILY JOURNAL
ON THE BLANK PAGES

OF A FIELD GUIDE

TO NATIVE PLANTS
OF THE ALASKAN WILDERNESS.

HIS STORY, TOLD IN A BOOK
AND A FILM, MADE HIM FAMOUS.

INSTEAD OF DISAPPEARING,
HE BECAME A LEGEND.

BUT FOR THE PEOPLE
WHO LOVED CHRIS,

IT'S ALWAYS
BEEN MORE PERSONAL THAN THAT.

- IT'S SO PEACEFUL.

narrator: TODAY,
THREE OF CHRIS' SISTERS

HAVE MADE THE TREK TO THE BUS
TOGETHER FOR THE FIRST TIME.

- ONE OF THE GREATEST
MISUNDERSTANDINGS

PEOPLE HAVE ABOUT CHRIS' STORY
AS THEY KNOW IT SO FAR,

HOW MUCH HE WAS HURTING
WHEN HE LEFT.

AND--AND WHY THAT IS.

- YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT JUST CHRIS.

IT'S JUST A LOT OF THINGS.

- I KNOW.

- WE UNDERSTOOD THE THINGS
THAT HAUNTED EACH OTHER.

THAT'S SOMETHING THAT WE DIDN'T
REALLY SHARE WITH OTHER PEOPLE.

narrator: BUT THEY HAVEN'T COME
TO GRIEVE.

THEY SAY THEY'VE COME
TO FILL THE GAPS IN THE STORY.

FILL THEM WITH FAMILY SECRETS

THEY SAY THEY'VE BEEN
SILENT ABOUT FOR TOO LONG.

SECRETS THAT HAVE TORN
THE MCCANDLESS FAMILY APART.

AND THAT MAY HELP EXPLAIN WHAT
BROUGHT CHRIS TO THIS PLACE

TO LIVE AND TO DIE ALONE.

EVERY SPRING, YOUNG HIKERS STILL

MAKE THE TOUGH, TWO-DAY TREK
TO THE 142.

- THERE'S SOMETHING
ABOUT BEING HERE

BRINGS OUT SOMETHING
DEEP WITHIN THEM.

narrator: FOR MORE THAN TWO
DECADES,

THEY'VE BEEN LEAVING TRIBUTES
TO CHRIS INSIDE THE OLD BUS.

- THIS BOOK IS FULL OF PEOPLE
WHO HAVE--

A LOT OF WHOM HAVE TRAVELED
ALL ACROSS THE WORLD

JUST TO BE HERE.

narrator: THEY'RE STRANGERS
WHO REVERE CHRIS MCCANDLESS.

TO THEM, HIS IS THE STORY
OF A YOUNG MAN

JUST ABOUT THEIR AGE WHO HAD
THE COURAGE TO SLIP THE BONDS

OF A COMFORTABLE MIDDLE CLASS
EXISTENCE,

BURN HIS MONEY,
AND LIVE APART.

SO COMMITTED TO DEFYING
CONVENTIONAL NOTIONS OF SUCCESS,

HE ULTIMATELY GAVE HIS LIFE
FOR IT.

- LIVE BEFORE YOU DIE.

YOU KNOW, HOW MANY
OF US ACTUALLY DO THAT?

HOW MANY OF US ACTUALLY LIVE?

OR DO WE JUST EXIST?

- MANY PEOPLE WHO HAVE CRIED
AT THE BUS,

IT'S REALLY INSPIRATIONAL
FOR THOSE PEOPLE.

EVEN JUST READING THE LOG BOOKS
IN THE BUS,

YOU SEE ALL
OF THESE DIFFERENT PEOPLE

WHO HAVE MADE THEIR WAY
OUT TO, YOU KNOW,

THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, ALASKA,

TO SEE THIS PLACE
WHERE MCCANDLESS LIVED AND DIED.

narrator: BUT IT MAY BE
THAT WHAT DRAWS SO MANY PEOPLE

TO CHRIS' SAGA

IS HOW LITTLE
THEY REALLY KNOW ABOUT HIM.

- WHEN I THINK THAT PEOPLE
SAY LIKE, "OH, I KNOW CHRIS,"

IT'S REALLY THE SORT OF
PART OF--PART OF YOURSELF

THAT YOU SEE IN CHRIS.

narrator: YEARS AGO,

THERE WAS ANOTHER VISITOR
TO THE BUS... SEAN PENN,

WHO WROTE AND DIRECTED THE FILM
INTO THE WILD.

A FILM THAT TURNED CHRISTOPHER
MCCANDLESS INTO AN ICON.

- THE HEART OF WHAT WAS
ESSENTIAL ABOUT THE STORY TO ME

WAS PART OF ALL OF US.

AND IT WAS EVERYBODY'S STORY.

IT WAS A BIG... SHOCKING,
BEAUTIFUL...

DANGEROUS, FULFILLING WORLD.

AND TO DIVE
INTO THAT SWIMMING POOL

LIKE THAT IS SOMETHING
WE ALL WANT TO DO, SOMEHOW.

narrator: BUT LONG BEFORE HE
WAS A HERO TO SO MANY PEOPLE,

HE WAS SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT
TO HIS LITTLE SISTER, CARINE.

- THEY WERE SOUL MATES.

THEY WERE MEANT
TO BE TOGETHER ON THIS EARTH.

HE WAS HER PROTECTOR.

CHRIS PROTECTED CARINE.

THEY WERE INCREDIBLY CLOSE.

DEEP, DEEP, DEEP LOVE
FOR EACH OTHER.

- HE WANTED TO GET UP
TO THE SUMMIT.

HE WANTED TO GET
TO THE HARDEST PART

AND GET THERE THE MOST
DIFFICULT WAY POSSIBLE.

BUT HE DIDN'T WANT
TO MISS ANYTHING ALONG THE WAY.

I STILL FEEL LIKE HE'S
WALKING WITH ME SOMETIMES.

narrator: THEY WERE LITERALLY
THE CHILDREN

OF A ROCKET SCIENTIST.

WALT WAS A RENOWNED AERONAUTICAL
ENGINEER WHO WORKED FOR NASA.

BY ALL APPEARANCES,
THEY LED A CHARMED LIFE.

- OUR PARENTS ACTUALLY
GOT US OUT IN NATURE

FROM A VERY EARLY AGE.

CAMPING AND ALWAYS TENT CAMPING.

AND WE HIKED A LOT

IN THE SHENANDOAH AREAS
WHERE WE ARE TODAY.

MOM ALWAYS PACKED GREAT SNACKS
FOR US TO HAVE,

AND WE ALWAYS MADE TRAIL MIX
AND SHE MADE A GREAT TRAIL MIX.

narrator: CHRIS LOVED
CHALLENGING HIMSELF

IN THE OUTDOORS
FROM THE TIME HE WAS VERY SMALL.

- THE FIRST TIME
THAT I TOOK CHRIS

ON A SERIOUS TRIP TO SHENANDOAH
AREA WAS CLIMBING OLD RAG.

TWO OF MY BUDDIES AT NASA
HEADQUARTERS WANTED TO DO THIS,

AND I SAID, "CAN I BRING CHRIS?"

AND THEY SAID,

"AS LONG AS YOU DON'T HAVE
TO CARRY HIM DOWN."

HE WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD.

HE CARRIED A BACKPACK
AND HE CARRIED HIS SLEEPING BAG,

AND THAT'S ABOUT IT.

AND DID GREAT.

- HE PUSHED HIMSELF
TO THE LIMIT.

IT WASN'T A CHALLENGE TO HIM
IF IT WASN'T A CHALLENGE.

AND IF HE KNEW EXACTLY

HOW THE ADVENTURE WAS GONNA PAN
OUT AT THE END,

IT WASN'T AN ADVENTURE.

narrator: BUT CARINE SAYS
THAT NATURE OFFERED

SOMETHING MORE THAN
JUST A CHALLENGE.

IT WAS, IN MANY WAYS,
A SANCTUARY.

- I THINK ONE OF THE THINGS

THAT ATTRACTED US AS CHILDREN
TO BEING OUT IN NATURE

IS THOSE WERE THE MOST PEACEFUL
TIMES WITH MY PARENTS.

THERE WASN'T FIGHTING OUT HERE.

WE FELT SAFER OUTSIDE
OF OUR HOME.

AND WE FELT SAFER WITH
OUR PARENTS OUTSIDE OF OUR HOME

IF WE WERE OUT IN NATURE
OR OUT, YOU KNOW,

OUTSIDE OF WHERE, YOU KNOW,

WHERE ALL OF THE THINGS THAT HAD
TO STAY HIDDEN HAD TO... LIVE.

narrator: BECAUSE CARINE
SAYS AT HOME,

THINGS WERE CONFUSING
AND VOLATILE.

NOW, MORE THAN 20 YEARS
AFTER HER BROTHER'S DEATH,

CARINE HAS WRITTEN A BOOK
THAT SHE SAYS HELPS EXPLAIN

WHY HER BROTHER DECIDED
TO CUT OFF TIES WITH HIS FAMILY

AND MAKE THE JOURNEY
THAT ENDED IN HIS DEATH.

- "THE CONSTANT MISCONCEPTIONS
ABOUT MY BROTHER

"MADE ME WANT TO CRY
OUT THE REAL REASONS

"WHY WALKING INTO THE WILD
WAS FAR FROM CRAZY,

BUT THE SANEST THING
CHRIS COULD HAVE DONE."

I WANT PEOPLE
TO LEARN FROM CHRIS.

I THINK CHRIS WOULD WANT THAT.

narrator: AND NOW, CARINE
IS RELEASING PORTIONS OF LETTERS

SHE GOT FROM CHRIS
WHEN HE WAS IN COLLEGE,

AND JUST AFTER.

IN WHICH HE DESCRIBES
THEIR CHILDHOODS.

- "THE EVENTS THAT WE SUFFERED

"ARE SO OUTLANDISH
IN THEIR PROPORTION

"THAT IT IS USELESS TO TRY
TO EXPLAIN THEM TO ANYBODY,

BECAUSE THEY
WILL NEVER BELIEVE YOU."

THE MEMORIES
THAT I HAVE AREN'T ALL BAD.

BUT IT'S IMPORTANT
TO ACKNOWLEDGE

THE TUMULTUOUS
CHILDHOOD THAT WE HAD.

narrator: AND CARINE SAYS IT WAS
THAT WAY

FOR AS LONG
AS THEY COULD REMEMBER.

WHEN CHRIS WAS BORN,
HIS PARENTS, WALT AND BILLIE,

WERE LIVING TOGETHER
IN EL SEGUNDO,

OUTSIDE OF LOS ANGELES.

BUT JUST 20 MINUTES AWAY,

WALT HAD ANOTHER FAMILY.

HE WAS STILL MARRIED
TO HIS FIRST WIFE,

MARSHA MCCANDLESS,
HIS HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART,

WHO ALREADY HAD FIVE CHILDREN
WITH HIM,

ONE BORN JUST MONTHS
BEFORE CHRIS.

- SO MY MOTHER WAS PREGNANT AND
GIVES BIRTH

TO MY BROTHER IN NOVEMBER.

AND CHRIS IS BORN IN FEBRUARY.

SO BOTH WOMEN WERE PREGNANT
AT THE SAME TIME.

narrator: AND EVEN AS HE
STARTED HIS FAMILY WITH BILLIE,

WALT REMAINED MARRIED TO MARSHA.

IN FACT,
HE HAD ANOTHER CHILD WITH HER.

- QUINN WAS BORN
BETWEEN CHRIS AND I.

- QUINN WAS BORN
TWO DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

AND HE CAME HOME,
I BELIEVE, ON CHRISTMAS DAY.

AND MY MOTHER WAS LEFT
ALONE WITH FIVE KIDS

AND A BABY ON CHRISTMAS DAY.

HE WASN'T--HE JUST WASN'T THERE.

HE LEFT.

narrator: FOR NEARLY FIVE YEARS,

WALT SPLIT HIS TIME
LIVING BETWEEN HIS TWO FAMILIES

IN HIS TWO HOMES.

- IT ALWAYS SEEMED
LIKE IT WAS--IT WAS ON AND OFF.

HE WOULD BE THERE FOR A FEW
WEEKS, THEN HE'D BE GONE.

THEN HE WOULD COME BACK.

THEN HE'D BE GONE.

- THAT WASN'T A HEALTHY
HOUSEHOLD.

EVEN AS A CHILD
I JUST KNEW THAT.

THAT THERE WAS FEAR INVOLVED.

narrator: AND ACCORDING TO TWO
OF WALT'S DAUGHTERS WITH MARSHA,

WHEN WALT WAS IN THEIR HOUSE,

HE OFTEN ERUPTED IN VERBAL ABUSE

AND PHYSICAL VIOLENCE
AGAINST THEIR MOTHER.

- PUNCHING.

PULLING HAIR.

UM, KICKING.

PROBABLY ALL OF THE ABOVE,
REALLY.

- DID I FEAR FOR MY MOM?
YES.

I CAN REMEMBER HIDING
WHEN HE CAME HOME ONE DAY.

HIDING IN THE CLOSET

BECAUSE HE MUST HAVE
BEEN ANGRY ABOUT SOMETHING

AND I REMEMBER HIDING.

THAT'S MY EARLIEST MEMORY
OF I GUESS ANGER AND KIND

OF BEING IN A VIOLENT HOUSEHOLD.

- AND THE OTHER SPOT
THAT REALLY RESONATES WITH ME

IS HIDING
UNDER THE DINING ROOM TABLE.

I KNOW I WASN'T THE ONLY PERSON
UNDER THAT TABLE.

IT'S LIKE YOU GROUP
TOGETHER

TO THAT SPOT.

THERE'S MORE SAFETY IN NUMBERS.

- ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS,

MY MOTHER TOLD ME THAT HE DID
PUT A PILLOW OVER HER FACE

AS IF TO SUFFOCATE HER.

narrator: MARSHA WROTE
ABOUT ONE INCIDENT IN A LETTER

TO A FAMILY COURT.

- HE PUSHED HER.
HE BROKE HER.

HE BROKE HER VERTEBRAE.

- BUT I THINK WHEN YOU'RE ABUSED
LIKE THAT, A PART OF YOU INSIDE,

YOU'RE JUST DYING
INSIDE THAT SOMEBODY EVERY DAY

IS TELLING YOU'RE NOTHING,

OR IT'S YOUR FAULT
THAT YOU GOT HIT.

YOU MADE THEM DO IT,

AND AFTERWARDS THEY'RE
REALLY SORRY ABOUT IT.

AND EVERY DAY,
YOU'RE DYING A LITTLE BIT.

narrator: IN MARCH 1972,

MARSHA WAS GRANTED
A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST WALT

BASED ON HER ALLEGATIONS
OF PHYSICAL ABUSE.

SHE SAID SHE WAS AFRAID OF HIM.

IN NOVEMBER OF THAT YEAR,
MARSHA AND WALT

FINALLY DIVORCED WHEN CHRIS
WAS ALMOST FIVE YEARS OLD.

SHE MOVED WITH HER CHILDREN
TO COLORADO.

- I THINK SHE'S AN INSPIRATION
TO OTHER WOMEN.

SHE LEFT WITH SIX KIDS,
NO MONEY, NOTHING,

AND LEFT.

narrator: WALT, BILLIE, CHRIS,

AND CARINE MOVED TO ANNANDALE,

TEN MILES FROM D.C. WHERE WALT
HAD GOTTEN A JOB WITH NASA.

- ASTRONAUTS WOULD COME OVER
TO THE HOUSE AND SIT

AND TALK TO US ABOUT SPACE.

I MEAN,
WHAT KIDS GET TO DO THAT?

narrator: WALT AND BILLIE
SEEMED PICTURE-PERFECT PARENTS.

- MY MOTHER WAS A GREAT ARTIST.

SHE ALWAYS MADE US
HANDMADE HALLOWEEN COSTUMES.

I REMEMBER WHENEVER I
WOULD SEE KIDS IN STORE-BOUGHT

HALLOWEEN COSTUMES I WOULD
ALWAYS FEEL SO BAD FOR THEM.

narrator: WALT EVEN SAW TO IT
THAT DURING SUMMER VACATIONS,

THEIR HALF-SIBLINGS,
MARSHA'S CHILDREN,

CAME TO VISIT THEM.

- WE HAD PUT A LOT
OF EMPHASIS ON MAKING SURE

THAT ALL OF THESE KIDS

KNEW EACH OTHER AND HAD SPENT
TIME WITH EACH OTHER

WHEN I WORKED AT NASA.

THE LAST LAUNCH
I WAS A PROJECT MANAGER.

WE'D TAKE EVERYBODY
TO CALIFORNIA 'CAUSE

IT WAS GONNA BE
LAUNCHED THERE FOR THREE MONTHS.

AND, YOU KNOW,
WE ALL PILED IN THE SUBURBAN

AND WENT OUT THERE.

narrator: LATER THERE WERE
CRUISES, SKI TRIPS,

AND WHEN CHRIS AND SHELLY
WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL,

A TRIP TO AMSTERDAM.

- AND NOT MANY KIDS CAN SAY
THEY WENT TO AMSTERDAM

IN HIGH SCHOOL.

narrator: SHELLY EVEN CAME TO
LIVE WITH THEM HER SENIOR YEAR.

BUT HIS SISTERS
SAY THAT BEHIND CLOSED DOORS,

THERE WAS TURMOIL.

- WE ALL JUST ALWAYS KNEW IT
WAS THERE BECAUSE KEEP IN MIND

THAT WE WOULD...

SOME OF US WOULD SPEND
OUR SUMMERS IN VIRGINIA,

AND SO THAT WAS
A VIOLENT HOUSEHOLD AS WELL.

narrator: THEY SAY WALT'S VERBAL
AND PHYSICAL ATTACKS

NOW FOCUSED ON BILLIE.

- YOU KNOW,
THE VACATIONS WERE NICE

BUT IT WAS A HARD HOUSEHOLD
TO LIVE IN.

- I LOOK BACK, YOU KNOW,
AS AN ADULT

AND IT'S JUST LIKE THE ONE WORD
WOULD BE TOXIC.

JUST SO...

SO UNHEALTHY.

- MY MOTHER
WENT THROUGH SO MUCH.

YOU KNOW, MY EARLIEST MEMORIES
ARE JUST WE

WOULD FEEL THE CHARGE
IN THE AIR.

- IF IT WAS INTENSE,
IT WAS USUALLY AFTER DINNER.

- WE WOULD HEAR HIM.

RAISED VOICES AND IT
WOULD GET LOUDER AND LOUDER.

- WE'D DO THE DISHES
AND THEN JUST, LIKE, SCATTER.

- CHRIS WOULD USUALLY COME
AND GRAB ME

AND GET ME OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE.

IF WE COULDN'T GET OUT IN TIME,

WE WERE ALWAYS CALLED
IN TO WITNESS THE VIOLENCE.

- WELL I THINK IN SOME WAYS
BILLIE WANTED US TO WATCH,

BUT IT WOULD BECOME LIKE A,

"WATCH THIS HAPPENING TO ME,"

ALMOST, YOU KNOW,
ASKING FOR US TO HELP.

- WE WOULD HEAR MY MOM
SAY, YOU KNOW, "KIDS, KIDS.

COME LOOK WHAT YOUR FATHER
IS DOING TO ME."

AND THEN HE WOULD SCREAM AFTER
HER, "KIDS, GET IN HERE, NOW.

LOOK WHAT YOUR MOTHER
IS MAKING ME DO."

- "LOOK WHAT YOUR FATHER IS
DOING TO ME."

"LOOK AT THIS."

"LOOK AT THAT."

WE WOULD STAND IN THE DOORWAY

AND THERE WERE TIMES
WHERE WE TRIED TO PUSH DAD

OFF OF MOM AND CHRIS
WOULD ALWAYS KEEP ME SAFE.

YOU KNOW, DAD
WOULD HAVE HER DOWN.

IT WOULD ALWAYS FOUND ITS WAY
UP INTO THIS PARTICULAR BEDROOM

IN THE HOUSE, THE GUEST BEDROOM.

- HEARD A LOT OF CHOKING
AND SHOVING AND CONTAINING.

- DAD WOULD THROW MOM
DOWN ON THE BED

AND HE'D BE CHOKING HER

AND IN BETWEEN HER BREATH SHE
WOULD BE SCREAMING OUT FOR HELP

AND WHEN HE RELEASED HER
AND WALKED OUT,

SHE WOULD RUN OVER TO US
AND PUT HER ARMS AROUND US

AND SHE WOULD APOLOGIZE
TO US.

AND SHE WOULD SAY,
"I'M SORRY, KIDS.

"BUT WHEN I GOT PREGNANT
WITH CHRIS

I GOT STUCK WITH YOUR DAD."

CHRIS, YOU KNOW, HE'S TOLD

THROUGHOUT HIS CHILDHOOD
THAT ALL OF THE--

THAT HEAVINESS AND THE PAIN

AND THIS...

CONSTANT PRESSURE AND VIOLENCE
WITHIN THE HOUSEHOLD STEM

FROM HIS EXISTENCE.

THAT'S WHAT STARTED IT.

THAT'S WHAT HE WAS TOLD.

AND I THINK HE FELT A LOT
OF GUILT AT A YOUNG AGE

FOR TRAPPING HIS MOTHER
AND HIS SISTER IN THAT.

- YEAH, THEY WERE REALLY CLOSE.

AND FOR THEM IT WAS THE TWO
OF 'EM IN THAT HOUSE.

ESPECIALLY FOR THEM,
IT WAS LIKE SURVIVAL.

THEY HAD TO SURVIVE TOGETHER.

- "YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO I
COULD EVER TRULY COMMUNICATE

WITH ON THIS SUBJECT,

BECAUSE LIKE ME,
YOU HAVE SEEN THAT OTHER SIDE

AND EXPERIENCED THE TRAUMA,
FRUSTRATION,

AND PAIN."

- JUST REALLY STRESSFUL
AS A CHILD

TO BE IN A SITUATION LIKE THAT.

narrator: NONE OF THESE DETAILS

APPEAR IN THE BOOK THAT MADE
CHRIS MCCANDLESS FAMOUS,

INTO THE WILD.

THE AUTHOR, JOHN KRAKAUER,

NOW SAYS HE KNEW
ABOUT CARINE'S ALLEGATIONS,

BUT CARINE ASKED HIM
NOT TO WRITE ABOUT IT.

- FOR SO MANY YEARS
AFTER CHRIS PASSED AWAY,

I WAS ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN
THAT MY PARENTS

WERE GONNA LEARN FROM HIS DEATH.

I WANTED TO GIVE ME PARENTS
THAT OPPORTUNITY.

- CHILDREN.
- KIDS!

LOOK WHAT YOUR DAD
IS GOING TO ME!

narrator: IN SEAN PENN'S
AWARD-WINNING MOVIE ABOUT CHRIS,

THERE IS A SCENE
THAT DEPICTS THE KIND

OF VIOLENCE CARINE
AND HER SISTERS RECALL.

- THAT'S THE SENSATIONALISM
PART.

narrator: CARINE
WAS A CONSULTANT ON THE FILM

AND SHE GAVE PENN ACCESS
TO THE LETTERS

CHRIS HAD WRITTEN HER.

- WHEN SEAN PENN DID THE FILM,
I ALLOWED SEAN TO READ THEM.

MY SIBLINGS HAVEN'T READ THEM.

I'VE... KEPT THEM
FROM MY PARENTS,

OUT OF KINDNESS.

BUT I'M NOT RELEASING
HIS LETTERS TO HURT MY PARENTS.

I'M RELEASING PARTS
OF HIS LETTERS

FOR PEOPLE TO GET
A BETTER UNDERSTAND OF CHRIS.

narrator: WALT AND BILLIE
REJECT THE IDEA THAT CHRIS

DISAPPEARED BECAUSE OF
ANY TENSION IN THEIR HOME.

- CHRIS WAS ALWAYS INDEPENDENT.

THAT WAS NEVER GONNA CHANGE.

IT WAS PART OF HIS DNA.

IT HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH BILLIE OR I.

IT WAS...

IT'S, YOU KNOW, IT'S CHRIS.

narrator: IN FACT,
WALT AND BILLIE

HAVE DISMISSED CARINE'S ACCOUNT
OF THEIR HOME LIFE

AS "FICTITIOUS, HYPED UP,
AND SPITEFUL,"

AND SAID, "THIS FICTIONALIZED
WRITING HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

"TO DO WITH OUR BELOVED SON
CHRIS, HIS JOURNEY,

OR HIS CHARACTER."

BUT CARINE SAYS HER BROTHER

GREW INCREASINGLY ANGRY
AT WHAT HE CALLED HYPOCRISY.

- "I DON'T KNOW WHY IT IS,

"BUT OUR PARENTS HAVE
TWO-SIDED SPLIT PERSONALITIES,

"AND FOR SOME REASON, THEY HAVE
RESERVED THE VERY WORST PART

OF THEMSELVES SOLELY
FOR YOU AND I ALONE."

narrator: AND THEY WERE KEENLY
AWARE THEY HAD A LIFESTYLE

VERY DIFFERENT
FROM THEIR HALF SIBLINGS.

- BUT THEY GREW UP IN A HOUSE
WHERE APPEARANCES

WERE REALLY IMPORTANT.

MONEY, CARS.

IT WAS IMPORTANT THAT,
YOU KNOW, ON SUNDAY

YOU GO TO CHURCH.

THAT PEOPLE ON THE OUTSIDE
SEE YOU AS THIS PERFECT FAMILY.

BUT THEN, YOU KNOW, HE ALSO

KNEW THAT THEN WE'RE LIVING
IN COLORADO

AND WE DON'T HAVE
THAT SAME LIFESTYLE.

narrator: COURT PAPERS SHOW WALT
AND MARSHA BATTLED FOR YEARS

OVER CHILD SUPPORT PAYMENTS.

WITH WALT CLAIMING AT ONE POINT

HE DID NOT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO
PAY WHAT THE JUDGE HAD ORDERED.

- WE WEREN'T LIVING RICH.

MY MOM WASN'T ALWAYS GETTING
HER ALIMONY CHECKS FROM MY DAD.

HE WOULD REFUSE
TO PAY HER SOMETIMES.

THEY WERE LIVING
A WHOLE DIFFERENT LIFESTYLE

AND HE KNEW
THAT.

I THINK THAT BOTHERED HIM,
AS WELL.

- I THINK WHAT CHRIS
NOTICED SO MUCH,

THE THINGS THAT WE DID THAT COST
THE LEAST AMOUNT OF MONEY ALWAYS

SEEMED TO BE THE HAPPIEST TIMES.

narrator: BUT WALT AND BILLIE

HAVE A DIFFERENT MEMORY
OF THEIR SON...

- HE WAS AN ENTREPRENEUR.

EVEN THOUGH LATER
ON HE DISDAINED MONEY.

WHEN HE WAS A SENIOR
IN HIGH SCHOOL

HE WENT DOOR TO DOOR FOR
A KITCHEN REMODELING COMPANY.

THAT'S HARD TO DO.

HE MADE $7- OR $8,000.

I'M NOT KIDDING.

THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.

HE WENT OUT AND BOUGHT
THE DATSUN WITH HIS MOM'S HELP.

SHE DIDN'T HELP HIM FINANCIALLY

BUT HE CAME HOME,
HE SAYS, "I FOUND A CAR.

I'VE FOUND A CAR. YOU'VE GOT
TO GO MAKE A DEAL FOR ME."

SHE'S A DEAL MAKER.

SHE IS.

SO SHE DID.

narrator: BUT FOR CHRIS,

THE MONEY HE MADE WAS A MEANS
TO A VERY DIFFERENT END

THAN HIS PARENTS SUSPECTED.

- HE WAS GOING TO GO AND TRAVEL.

TAKE THE DATSUN
AND GO ACROSS COUNTRY.

OUR PARENTS WANTED, YOU KNOW,
A DETAILED ITINERARY FROM HIM.

EXACTLY WHERE HE WAS GONNA BE,
WHEN HE WAS GONNA BE THERE.

HE SAID, "YOU KNOW,

THAT'S PART OF THE PLAN
IS TO NOT HAVE A PLAN."

narrator: HIS FRIEND
ANDY HORWITZ SAYS EVEN THEN

HE THOUGHT THAT CHRIS
WAS GOING THROUGH SOMETHING

MORE THAN NORMAL
TEENAGE REBELLION.

- I REMEMBER VIVIDLY
A CONVERSATION.

REMEMBER, LIKE, HIS GRADUATION
PARTY, A BIG PARTY

THAT HIS PARENTS
THREW FOR HIM FROM HIGH SCHOOL

AND, YOU KNOW, I WAS LIKE,

"YOU KNOW, THIS IS REALLY GREAT

THAT YOUR PARENTS
ARE DOING THIS FOR YOU,"

AND, "WHAT A GREAT PARTY,"

AND I COULD JUST--

I KNEW FROM HIS RESPONSE THAT,

YOU KNOW, TOO LITTLE TOO LATE.

THERE WAS NO--
SOME SORT OF DAMAGE

HAD BEEN DONE
THAT WAS SEEMINGLY IRREPARABLE.

narrator: THE TRIP CHRIS
MADE THAT SUMMER IN HIS DATSUN

WOULD TURN OUT TO BE A TRIAL RUN
FOR HIS DISAPPEARANCE

FIVE YEARS LATER.

- HE WAS GONE ALL SUMMER.
BUT THERE WAS A MONTH

AND A HALF WENT
BY THAT WE DIDN'T HEAR FROM HIM.

- YEAH.
- THAT WAS VERY HARD TO TAKE.

VERY.

SO THAT WAS HIS FIRST TRIP

THAT KIND OF HURT THE HEART

A LITTLE BIT, YOU KNOW,

'CAUSE YOU WEREN'T--

YOU JUST DIDN'T KNOW.

narrator: HE RETURNED IN TIME
FOR HIS PARENTS

TO TAKE HIM TO COLLEGE
AT EMORY UNIVERSITY.

HE MADE OTHER TRIPS,
BUT HIS PARENTS POINT OUT

THAT HE ALWAYS
CAME BACK TO ANNANDALE.

- CERTAINLY KIDS GO
THROUGH A PERIOD OF TIME

WHERE THEY DON'T LINE UP EXACTLY
WITH PARENTS, OKAY?

AND SOMETIMES THEY LINE UP
EXACTLY WITH PARENTS.

THERE'S CERTAINLY EQUAL PARTS
OF THAT IN OUR LIFE WITH CHRIS.

I BELIEVE THAT HIS ADVENTURES

HAD MORE TO DO WITH CHRIS
AND HIS...

OUTLOOK ON ALL OF LIFE
THAN ON ANYTHING ELSE.

narrator: HIS HALF-SISTER SHELLY

REMEMBERS THAT AROUND
HIS JUNIOR YEAR OF COLLEGE,

HIS DISDAIN FOR HIS PARENTS'
MONEY HAD BECOME CONTEMPT.

- HE TOLD ME,

"DON'T TAKE ANY MONEY FROM 'EM.

"I KNOW YOU NEED MONEY
TO GO TO COLLEGE,

BUT DON'T TAKE THEIR MONEY."

AND HE MADE IT VERY CLEAR
THAT HE WAS VERY

FED UP WITH THE MONEY SITUATION.

narrator: BY SENIOR YEAR
IN COLLEGE, CHRIS' SIBLINGS

HAD NOTICED A CHANGE.

- BOY, TO THINK THE LAST TIME
I'D EVEN SEEN HIM

WAS PROBABLY THE CHRISTMAS RIGHT
BEFORE HE GRADUATED

AND WE ALL WENT ON A CRUISE.

AND HE JUST KIND OF SEEMED...

NOT DOWN, JUST KIND
OF MORE WITHDRAWN A LITTLE BIT.

narrator: FOUR MONTHS BEFORE
HE GRADUATED,

CHRIS WROTE CARINE, FRUSTRATED.

HE SAID HE'D SENT A LETTER
TO HIS PARENTS

EXPRESSING HIS FEELINGS.

- "I FELT FOR SURE
THAT THAT LETTER

"WOULD FINALLY SHAKE THEM
INTO SOME KIND OF REALITY,

"AND THEN JUST A FEW DAYS AGO,

"I GET THIS STUPID POSTCARD
FROM COLORADO WHERE THEY SKIING,

"AND ALL IT SAYS IN REFERENCE

"TO MY LETTER IS THIS:

'THANKS FOR YOUR LETTER.

'SAVING THEM FOR YOUR CHILDREN

TO READ ONE DAY!'

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?"

narrator: THE DISTANCE
BETWEEN CHRIS AND HIS PARENTS

CONTINUED TO GROW.

- "THEY ARE JUST TOTALLY
BEYOND HOPE

AND THERE IS NO WAY TO EVER
BRING THEM BACK INTO REALITY."

narrator: IN MAY, 1990,

WALT, BILLIE, AND CARINE

WENT TO ATLANTA
TO CELEBRATE CHRIS' GRADUATION.

- "SINCE THEY WON'T EVER
TAKE ME SERIOUSLY,

I'M JUST GOING TO PLAY ALONG
WITH THEIR LITTLE ACTING GAME."

- WE WANTED TO BUY HIM
A NEW CAR.

HE'D GRADUATED SO BEAUTIFULLY.
- YEAH.

HE DIDN'T WANT IT.
- YOU KNOW,

AND FULFILL THAT AND WE
WANT HIM TO HAVE A NEW CAR

AND HE DIDN'T WANT IT.

DIDN'T WANT ONE.

HE WAS KIND OF INSULTED...
- [chuckles]

- TO THINK THAT WE THOUGHT
HE SHOULD GIVE UP THAT DATSUN.

[laughs]

narrator: THE NEXT DAY,

CHRIS GAVE HIS MOTHER A GIFT
AND A CARD.

- I MEAN, HE WAS DEAD
ON HIS FEET ON THE DAY

AFTER HIS COLLEGE GRADUATION,
YOU KNOW,

BUT HE WAS DETERMINED TO BE
THERE TO TAKE US TO THE AIRPORT

BECAUSE IT WAS MOTHER'S DAY.

- "FOR A FEW MONTHS
AFTER GRADUATION,

"I'M GOING TO LET
THEM THINK THEY ARE RIGHT.

"I'M GOING TO LET THEM THINK
THAT I'M COMING AROUND

"TO SEE THEIR SIDE OF THINGS

AND THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP
IS STABILIZING."

narrator: BY AUGUST, WALT AND
BILLIE WERE BECOMING CONCERNED.

IT HAD BEEN OVER A MONTH SINCE
THEY HAD HEARD FROM THEIR SON.

- "ONCE THE TIME IS RIGHT,
WITH ONE ABRUPT, SWIFT ACTION,

I'M GOING TO COMPLETELY
KNOCK THEM OUT OF MY LIFE."

narrator: THEY DROVE TO ATLANTA

AND FOUND HIS APARTMENT EMPTY,

CHRIS GONE.

- IT WAS STUNNING.

HE HAD LEFT A MESSAGE
WITH THE LADY

THAT OWNED THE APARTMENTS.

SAID HE WAS HEADED FOR FLORIDA
OR SOMEPLACE LIKE THAT.

WHICH OBVIOUSLY WAS NOT TRUE.

- HE JUST LEFT.
- YEAH.

- "I'M GOING
TO DIVORCE THEM AS MY PARENTS.

I'LL BE THROUGH WITH THEM ONCE
AND FOR ALL FOREVER."

- WE BARELY SPOKE
ON THE WAY HOME.

WE JUST DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT TO SAY OR DO OR THINK.

- "MAYBE IT WILL BE DIFFERENT
FOR YOU, CARINE.

"MAYBE ONCE I'M GONE,

THEY WILL LEARN
TO TREAT YOU WITH SOME RESPECT."

narrator: WHEN WALT
AND BILLIE GOT HOME,

THEY LEARNED CHRIS HAD GIVEN
HIMSELF A LONG HEAD START.

ALL THE LETTERS THEY'D WRITTEN
THAT SUMMER RETURNED TO THEM.

- HE HAD IT ALL HELD
AT THE POST OFFICE.

HE PAID TO HAVE IT HELD
FOR FOUR OR FIVE WEEKS

AND THEN HAD IT ALL RETURNED
TO ME IN ONE BIG BUNDLE.

- AND TO CARINE.

- AND THAT--AND TO CARINE, TOO.

I MEAN, THERE'S NO WAY WE COULD
TRACK HIM AFTER ALL THAT TIME.

THAT'S WHEN I FIRST
STARTED RESEARCHING

AND FOUND A PRIVATE EYE.

narrator: THE INVESTIGATOR
LEARNED CHRIS HAD GIVEN AWAY

THE REMAINDER
OF HIS EDUCATION FUND, $24,000,

TO THE CHARITY OXFAM.

BUT BY THE TIME FAMILY
REALIZED HE'D DISAPPEARED,

CHRIS HAD ALREADY TRAVELED
2,000 MILES FROM ATLANTA,

TO A PLACE CALLED THE DETRITAL
WASH IN WESTERN ARIZONA.

WHEN A FLASH FLOOD
SWAMPED HIS CAR,

HE BURIED HIS LICENSE PLATES,

PUT EVERYTHING
HE COULD CARRY IN A BACKPACK,

AND WALKED AWAY.

- HE WAS SO ATTACHED
TO THAT YELLOW DATSUN.

HE REALLY WAS.

THAT WAS HIS--
PART OF HIS SOUL.

I COULD NOT IMAGINE
HIM WALKING AWAY FROM THAT CAR.

narrator: TWO DAYS LATER,

HE PHOTOGRAPHED HIMSELF
BURNING HIS REMAINING MONEY.

- I THINK HE HAD
A FUNDAMENTAL DISDAIN

FOR WHAT I'D CALL THE CHANNELS.

I THINK CHRIS WAS A LONG WAY

FROM MAKING A DECISION
ABOUT WHAT HE WANTED TO DO.

- I THINK
THE MATERIALISTIC ASPECT

FOR IT WAS ONE LAYER OF IT.

THE VIOLENCE WAS ONE LAYER
OF IT.

NOT BEING ACCOUNTABLE
AND TRUTHFUL

AND THAT HE HAD TO GO OUT
AND FIND THE TRUTH HIMSELF, HE

COULDN'T GET IT FROM HIS PARENTS
IS ANOTHER LAYER OF IT.

I JUST THINK IT WAS JUST--

HE HAD TO PEEL THAT ALL OFF.

narrator: CHRIS BEGAN HITCHING
WEST.

LONG BEFORE THE ERA
OF THE SELFIE,

HE SHOT A SERIES OF REMARKABLE
SELF-PORTRAITS USING A TIMER

AND PROPPING HIS FILM CAMERA
UP ON HIS BACKPACK.

WALT AND BILLIE
ONLY SAW THESE PHOTOS LATER.

THEY WERE GIVEN TO THEM
AFTER CHRIS' DEATH

AND THEY'VE NOW GATHERED THEM
INTO A BOOK

CALLED
BACK TO THE WILD.

- BILLIE COULDN'T LOOK AT THEM.

THE PICTURES.

SHE JUST COULDN'T DO IT.

IT WAS HARD FOR ME, BUT I DID.

CATALOGUED THEM ALL.
SCANNED THEM.

HE TOOK OVER 600 PICTURES.

I DIDN'T HAVE ANY IDEA
HE'D TAKEN THAT MANY.

narrator: THE PHOTOS SHOW
BY LATE AUGUST CHRIS

HAD HITCHED
ACROSS THE SIERRA NEVADAS

AND WAS IN CALIFORNIA.

- HE HAD A HALF OF A MILK CRATE
CUT DOWN WITH BERRIES IN IT,

READING HIS STUPID PLANT BOOK.

SO I GOT OUT AND I SAID, "HEY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?"
HE SAID,

"I'M WAITING FOR A RIDE."

AND I SAID,
"YOU'RE A LAZY HITCHHIKER.

YOU'LL NEVER GET A RIDE
LIKE THAT."

HE SAID, "ARE YOU GONNA
GIVE ME A RIDE?"

AND I SAID, "YEAH, BECAUSE
NOBODY ELSE IS GOING TO."

HE SAID, "WELL, I GOT A RIDE,
DIDN'T I?"

narrator: BY THE TIME
CHRIS MCCANDLESS MET JAN BURRES,

HE'D GIVEN HIMSELF A NEW NAME,
ALEXANDER SUPERTRAMP.

- HE JUST HAD SO MUCH ENTHUSIASM

FOR BEING OUT IN THE WORLD
ON HIS OWN DOING HIS THING.

AND HE WAS HUNGRY.
HE'D BEEN HUNGRY FOR A WHILE

SO I PRETTY MUCH FED HIM AND HE
TOOK HIS TENT AND ROLLED IT OUT.

HE HAD THE BEST SMILE
IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

THE BEST.

AND WE'D GO CLIMB THE ROCKS

TO SIT ON TOP
OF TO WATCH THE TIDE COME IN.

THAT'S WHEN WE BONDED
AND BECAME FRIENDS.

narrator: OVER THE COURSE
OF THE NEXT TWO YEARS,

CHRIS VISITED JAN A FEW TIMES.

SHE WAS LIVING IN AN OUTSIDER
ENCAMPMENT IN THE DESERT

NICKNAMED THE SLABS.

- HE WOULD INVOLVE HIMSELF
WITH A LOT OF PEOPLE,

BUT HE NEVER GAVE HIMSELF
TO A LOT OF PEOPLE, YOU KNOW,

AND HE DID WITH ME.

HE'D SEEK ME OUT,

WE'D GO SIT AND TALK.

I KNEW THAT HE WAS ANGRY
AT HIS FATHER,

AND I ALWAYS SAW
THAT HE LOVED HIS MOTHER,

THAT HE HAD A TENDERNESS

FOR HIS MOTHER AND A LOVE
FOR HIS MOM.

narrator: AS IT HAPPENED, JAN
HAD LOST TOUCH WITH HER OWN SON

WHO WAS AROUND CHRIS' AGE.

- I DIDN'T KNOW
WHERE MY KID WAS.

HE WAS 18 SOMEWHERE AND HE WAS
OUT BEING 18 AND BEING A MAN

AND HERE WAS THIS GUY ALEX
THAT WAS 22.

SO I SAY, "WHERE'S YOUR MOM?"

HE WOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING.

AND I SAID, "WELL,
YOU NEED TO CALL YOUR PARENTS."

narrator: BUT CHRIS
DID NOT CALL.

- THAT'S THE WORST FEELING
I'VE EVER HAD.

OKAY.

I MEAN,
YOU CAN GET SICK, FEEL BAD.

IT'S WAY WORSE THAN THAT.

AND IT'S LIKE BEING
IN SUSPENDED ANIMATION.

THERE'S NOT MUCH YOU CAN DO.

- EVERY TIME WE HAD TO LEAVE
WITH THE PREMISES,

I DID A NOTE WITH HIS NAME
ON IT ON AN ENVELOPE

AND I TAPED IT TO THE DOOR

AND JUST TELLING HIM
WHERE WE WERE, WHEN WE WENT,

WHEN WE ARE EXPECTED BACK
AND TO CALL US.

JUST CALL AS SOON
AS HE GOT HOME.

AND, BOY, WE'D BE GONE,

WE'D COME BACK AND WALT
WOULD BE DRIVING DOWN THE STREET

AND I'M WATCHING, WATCHING,
WATCHING FOR THE FRONT DOOR.

HERE WAS THAT ENVELOPE,
STILL ON THE FRONT DOOR.

HE HADN'T COME HOME.

- I DON'T KNOW. I LIKE TO THINK
THAT MAYBE HE JUST WAS GONNA

DO THAT FOR A WHILE

AND HE WOULD'VE SHOWN BACK UP
AND MAYBE JUST COME BACK

AND SAY, "YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M MY OWN PERSON NOW.
I DON'T NEED YOU."

- HE TOLD ME IN ONE OF THE LAST
LETTERS HE SENT TO ME IS,

YOU KNOW,
"I'LL COME BACK AND SEE YOU."

AND EVERY DAY

I CAME HOME FROM WORK, I FIGURED
CHRIS MIGHT BE ON MY PORCH.

- YOU KNOW, THE ONLY PERSON
WHO REALLY MAKES ME FOR

IS CARINE.

THAT HE DIDN'T HAVE CONTACT
WITH HER DURING THAT TIME.

AND I KNOW WHY HE DIDN'T,

BECAUSE THAT WOULD'VE BEEN--

THEY WOULD'VE BEEN ABLE
TO CONNECT WITH HIM.

THEY EVENTUALLY WOULD HAVE.

- WE DID GET THAT ONE SUMMONS
IN THE MAIL

WHEN HE GOT STOPPED
FOR HITCHHIKING.

THAT'S THE ONLY THING THAT WE
HAD THAT HAD A LOCATION ON IT

IN THE WHOLE TIME HE WAS GONE.

- AND THEY WEREN'T REALLY
GETTING ANYWHERE.

THEN YOU KIND OF THINK,

"OKAY, HE JUST
DOESN'T WANT TO BE FOUND.

SO WHERE IS HE
AND WHAT'S HE DOING?"

narrator: HE TRAVELED ACROSS THE
ROCKIES TOWARD THE GREAT PLAINS,

AND IN MONTANA,
HE MET WAYNE WESTERBERG.

- I WAS LOADING SOME THINGS
IN THE PICKUP

AND HE HAD COME WALKING
DOWN THE STREET BASICALLY,

OR THE HIGHWAY,

AND STOPPED AND ASKED ME
IF HE COULD GET A RIDE.

narrator: CHRIS ENDED UP
TAKING A JOB

HELPING OUT
ON WAYNE'S SOUTH DAKOTA FARM.

- YOU KNOW, I GUESS I LIKED HIM
RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE.

I THINK HE WAS ONE
OF THOSE PEOPLE

THAT JUST TRIED TO DROP IN.

HE WASN'T TRYING
TO BE BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE.

HE DIDN'T WANT ANYBODY TO KNOW
THAT HE'D EVER HAD HAD MONEY.

I MEAN, ALL THIS THING
ABOUT HIM, YOU KNOW,

GIVING HIS SAVINGS AWAY AND ALL
THAT THAT CAME OUT LATER.

WE NEVER KNEW ANYTHING
ABOUT THAT.

I MEAN, YOU'D HAVE NEVER KNOWN
HE HAD A DIME TO LIVE ON.

narrator: CARTHAGE IS A SPECK
OF A TOWN ON THE PRAIRIE

WHERE CHRIS
LEARNED TO DRIVE THE THRESHER

AND EARN THE LOCALS' RESPECT.

- I NEVER KNEW ANYTHING
ABOUT HIS PARENTS.

I KNEW THAT HE WAS
FROM THE EAST COAST.

I NEVER ASKED HIM ANYTHING
AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING

THAT HE DIDN'T REALLY LIKE
IS PEOPLE THAT WERE TOO NOSEY.

HE DIDN'T WANT SOMEBODY
GIVING HIM THE TENTH DEGREE.

THAT'S THE ONLY THING I CAN SAY

THAT I WOULD SAY
MADE HIM NERVOUS

IS IF PEOPLE STARTED
ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS.

THERE'S THE PICKUP
THAT HE LIKED.

I DON'T KNOW WHY HE
LIKED THAT PICKUP, BUT HE DID,

SO I ALWAYS GAVE IT TO HIM
WHENEVER HE WAS HERE.

HE ENDED UP TRAVELING SEVERAL
TIMES FROM HERE, COMING BACK.

THIS KIND OF BECAME A HUB
FOR HIM.

AND HE HAD HIS MAIL SENT HERE.

HE SENT UP POSTCARDS
AND, YOU KNOW,

PEOPLE GOT TO KNOW HIM.

narrator: LATER, THOSE POSTCARDS

BECAME VALUABLE CLUES
FOR THE WRITER JOHN KRAKAUER,

WHO PIECED TOGETHER THE STORY

OF WHERE CHRIS HAD BEEN
FOR THE TWO YEARS

HE WAS OUT OF TOUCH
WITH HIS FAMILY.

- THEY'RE READING ABOUT
THIS JOURNEY AND ALL THIS THING

OF INTO THE WILD AND
BACK TO THE WILD,

AND THEY SAY,
"BOY, I JUST SEE MYSELF,

THAT COULD BE ME WALKING THERE."
YOU KNOW?

"THAT COULD BE ME DOING THIS,"
OR "ME SAYING THAT."

AND THEY THOUGHT, "WHY NOT ME?"

AND THEN THEY GET ON THE TRACK

AND THEY GO.

narrator: HE WAS
A MODERN HUCK FINN

MEANDERING DOWN A GREAT RIVER
OF EXPERIENCE.

HIS NEW HOME
AMID THE WANDERING SOULS

AND THE TIRED LITTLE TOWNS
OF THE AMERICAN WEST,

WAS SUCH A LONG WAY
FROM ANNANDALE.

- IT WAS A MATTER
OF SURVIVAL FOR HIM, YOU KNOW,

TO BE ABLE TO BE HIMSELF
AND FIND WHERE

HE COULD FIT INTO THE WORLD
AND REMAIN TRUE TO HIMSELF,

AND IT DIDN'T HOW TOUGH IT GOT,

IT DIDN'T MATTER HOW FAR
OFF COURSE HE MIGHT HAVE TO GO

OR HOW FAR OUT OF HIS COMFORT
ZONE IT TOOK HIM

TO BE ABLE TO ACHIEVE THAT GOAL.
HE WAS GONNA DO IT.

narrator: HE WAS CANOEING
THE COLORADO RIVER TO MEXICO.

LIVING IN CAVES.

WORKING AT MCDONALD'S.

RIDING THE RAILS.

BUT HE HAD ONE BIG DREAM
YET TO REALIZE:

ALASKA.

- I HAD CONCERNS. I HAD CONCERNS
THAT HE DIDN'T WANT TO

CARRY MORE THAN 50 POUNDS
OF RICE UP THERE

AND LIVE OFF THE LAND.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA
HAVE UP THERE?

WHAT'S GONNA BE THERE?

WHAT'S GONNA BE THERE
FOR YOU TO LIVE OFF OF?

WHAT IF THERE'S NO GAME?

- WELL, ALEX
WAS VERY ORGANIZED.

HE HAD ME CONVINCED
THAT HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING.

- I KEPT SAYING, YOU KNOW,

"ALASKA'LL KICK YOUR BUTT.

"I MEAN, IT'LL KICK YOUR BUTT.

IT'S COLD."

AND HE HAD THIS STUPID BOOK

ABOUT PLANTS OF THE WORLD
THAT HE COULD EAT.

HE WAS ALWAYS LOOKING
IN THAT BOOK.

- I OFFERED HIM A PLANE TICKET
UP THERE.

YOU KNOW,
HE WOULDN'T TAKE A TICKET.

HE HAD TO GO TO ALASKA
BY FOOT, RAIL,

OR ALL THAT TYPE OF ADVENTURE
ON HIS WAY UP THERE.

THAT WAS ALL PART OF IT.

narrator: CHRIS DESCRIBED
THE TRIP LIKE THIS:

"TEN DAYS AND NIGHTS
OF FREIGHT TRAINS

"AND HITCHING BRING HIM
TO THE GREAT WHITE NORTH.

NO LONGER TO BE POISONED
BY CIVILIZATION."

IT WAS THE END OF APRIL 1992

WHEN CHRIS SENT WAYNE
A FINAL POSTCARD FROM FAIRBANKS,

ALASKA.

"IF THIS ADVENTURE PROVES FATAL
AND YOU DON'T EVER HEAR FROM ME

"AGAIN, I WANT YOU TO KNOW
YOU'RE A GREAT MAN.

I NOW WALK INTO THE WILD."

- IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

AND THERE'S NO ONE HERE.

IT'S QUIET.

IT'S PEACEFUL.

IT'S WILD. IT REALLY IS.

I CAN SEE WHY HE WAS DRAWN HERE.

HE WAS ON AN ADVENTURE.

narrator: THAT SENSE
OF ADVENTURE

STILL ECHOES 22 YEARS LATER.

A PARALLEL JOURNEY

TAKES THREE OF CHRIS' SISTERS
PAST SNOW-COVERED PEAKS

AND ONTO THE STAMPEDE ROAD.

THIS IS THE LAST PLACE
THEIR BROTHER WAS SEEN ALIVE

AFTER HITCHING A RIDE
FROM FAIRBANKS.

- SO WE'VE DRIVEN ABOUT EIGHT
MILES IN ON THE STAMPEDE ROAD.

THE BUS IS...

THAT WAY ANOTHER 20 OR SO MILES.

YOU KNOW, IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU
WEREN'T EVER SUPPOSED TO EXIST

AND YOU WANT TO SORT OF...

GET RID OF CHRIS MCCANDLESS
FOR A LITTLE WHILE

AND DISAPPEAR, I MEAN,
WHAT A PLACE TO DO IT, YOU KNOW?

- YEAH.

- HE DID NOT COME OUT HERE
TO DIE.

- HE WENT OUT THERE
TO BE HIMSELF.

- YEAH, RIGHT.

AND HE WAS YOUNG AND MALE

AND HE WAS GOOD AT EVERYTHING
HE TRIED TO DO.

YOU KNOW, HE NEEDED TO PUSH
HIMSELF HARDER AND HARDER

WITH EVERY STEP HE TOOK
AND EVERY ADVENTURE HE TOOK.

YOU SEE THAT AS EXTREMIST.

JUST BECAUSE THEY WANT
TO GET AS CLOSE TO THE EDGE

AND PEER DOWN INTO THE ABYSS

DOESN'T MEAN
THEY WANT TO FALL INTO IT.

narrator: HE SETS OFF
INTO THE SNOWY WILDERNESS,

FOLLOWING AN OLD MINING ROAD
CALLED THE STAMPEDE TRAIL.

HE ENCOUNTERS TWO RIVERS
AND FORDS THEM SUCCESSFULLY.

IN APRIL, THE RIVERS
ARE CHOKED WITH ICE

AND COVERED WITH SNOWPACK,
HIDING

HOW DEEP AND WIDE THEY'LL BECOME
DURING THE SUMMER SNOW MELT.

- I COULDN'T DO WHAT HE DID.

MOST PEOPLE, IF THEY
WERE TWO DAYS OFF THE TRAIL

AND IN A DARK PLACE,
WOULD START THINKING ABOUT,

"MAYBE THIS ISN'T
WHAT I WANT TO DO."

BUT HE FORGED HIS WAY
THROUGH THERE.

narrator: AFTER THREE COLD DAYS
AND NIGHTS, HE FINDS THE BUS.

A MAKESHIFT SHELTER

HAULED AND THEN ABANDONED HERE
BY A MINING COMPANY.

INSIDE, CHRIS DISCOVERS A BED
AND A WOOD STOVE

THAT WILL BECOME HIS HOME
FOR THE NEXT 110 DAYS.

HE CALLS IT THE MAGIC BUS.

- CHRIS WENT OUT INTO NATURE

SEARCHING FOR THE THINGS THAT HE
DIDN'T HAVE IN HIS CHILDHOOD.

YOU KNOW, PEACE, PURITY,
HONESTY.

narrator: AS THE WINTER
SNOW MELTS, CHRIS

BEGINS TO SUCCESSFULLY HUNT
AND GATHER THE FOOD HE NEEDS.

HIS PHOTOGRAPHS SHOW THE SMILES
OF AN EXUBERANT EXPLORER.

AND IN THE BOOKS HE READS,

THE PASSAGES UNDERSCORED REVEAL
THE INTENSE NOTES OF A YOUNG MAN

WRESTLING WITH HOW TO LIVE
A MORAL AND PURPOSEFUL LIFE.

- I WAS NEVER WORRIED.
I WASN'T.

I NEVER THOUGHT CHRIS WOULD EVER

GET HIMSELF INTO A SITUATION
THAT HE COULDN'T HANDLE.

I MEAN, HE WAS CHRIS.

HE WAS MY PROTECTOR.
HE WAS ALWAYS STRONG.

HE SUCCEEDED AT EVERYTHING
HE TRIED.

YOU KNOW, I THINK THAT'S PART
OF WHAT GOT HIM IN TROUBLE.

narrator: ON DAY 43,
HE CELEBRATES SHOOTING A MOOSE.

BUT HIS ENTHUSIASM TURNS TO
FRUSTRATION WHEN MOST ROTS AWAY.

- I THINK THERE WAS
A TRANSFORMATION

HE WENT ON THERE

AND HE CLEARLY MADE A DECISION
TO GET BACK...

INTO CIVILIZATION.

narrator: ON DAY 66, HE SIMPLY
WRITES, "FAMILY HAPPINESS."

A STORY HE READS BY TOLSTOY.

HE SHAVES HIS BEARD
AND THE NEXT DAY LEAVES THE BUS.

- I THINK HE MISSES MOM AND DAD.

I THINK WHEN HE WAS
SITTING UP THERE BY HIMSELF

WITH ONLY THE SOUND
OF THE TREES GROWING

AND THE BERRIES RIPENING
AND THE BIRDS FLYING OVER,

I THINK HE WEIGHED THINGS.

HOW MUCH BAD COMPARED
TO HOW MUCH GOOD.

WOULD YOU GIVE UP ALL THAT GOOD

BECAUSE OF THIS LITTLE BIT
OF BAD?

NO.

YOU GO HOME AND SAY, "LET'S NOT
DO THAT BAD ANYMORE,

MOM, DAD, BROTHER, SISTER."

YOU KNOW?

"LET'S GET RID OF THAT.
LET'S MOVE ON.

LET'S GET STRONG."

- CHRIS PLANS TO WALK BACK OUT,

IT WAS OBVIOUS.

I HAVE KNOWN NO PERSON
IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

THAT LOVED LIFE
AS MUCH AS CHRIS DID.

narrator: BUT IT'S EARLY JULY

AND CHRIS STANDS ON THE BANKS
OF THE TEKLANIKA

AND FINDS THE RIVER TRANSFORMED.

NOW, IT'S A CHEST-HIGH
GLACIAL TORRENT.

THERE'S ACTUALLY
A CABLE CROSSING

JUST HALF A MILE DOWNSTREAM,
BUT CHRIS DOESN'T KNOW IT.

HE DOESN'T HAVE A MAP.

UNABLE TO CROSS, CHRIS RETURNS
TO THE SHELTER OF THE BUS.

HIS NEXT JOURNAL ENTRY REFLECTS
HIS FIRST SENSE OF CONCERN.

- "IT'S RAINED IN.
RIVER LOOKS IMPOSSIBLE."

HE WROTE THAT IN HIS JOURNAL.

AND THEN IT SAYS,
"LONELY, SCARED."

CHRIS WAS ALWAYS STRONG

AND HE WASN'T LONELY
AND HE WAS NEVER SCARED.

SO THAT'S TOUGH FOR ME.

narrator: THE SMALL TOWN
OF HEALY IS LESS THAN 30 MILES

AWAY, BUT NONE OF THE LOCALS
KNOW HE'S THERE EITHER.

- IF WE HAD KNOWN THAT HE
WAS HIKING OFF INTO THIS AREA,

LOCALS WOULD'VE SAID,
"OH, THE STAMPEDE TRAIL?

THERE'S THIS OLD BUS OUT THERE.

YOU MIGHT WANT
TO CHECK THAT OUT."

narrator: BUT CHRIS' FAMILY
HASN'T HEARD ANYTHING

FROM HIM
IN NEARLY TWO YEARS.

OVER THE NEXT 22 DAYS,
CHRIS APPEARS TO RELY

MORE AND MORE
ON A DIET OF WILD POTATO SEEDS.

BUT IT'S A SOURCE
OF NUTRITION HE COMES TO REGRET.

IN HIS JOURNAL,

CHRIS FEARS THE PODS
ARE IN FACT POISONING HIM.

BY HIS FOURTH MONTH
IN THE WILDERNESS,

CHRIS ACKNOWLEDGES
THAT HE IS WEAK AND STARVING.

AT SOME POINT, HE PINS AN S.O.S.
NOTE ON THE SIDE OF THE BUS.

CHRIS TAKES A FINAL PHOTO

OF HIMSELF HOLDING
A HAND-WRITTEN NOTE.

"I'VE HAD A HAPPY LIFE
AND THANK THE LORD.

GOODBYE AND MAY GOD BLESS ALL."

ON THE 113th DAY AFTER WALKING
INTO THE WILD,

CHRIS' JOURNAL ENTRIES STOP.

- HE HAD THAT SLEEPING BAG

STILL.
- YEP.

- THAT I MADE FOR HIM
WHEN HE WAS A KID.

AND HE STILL HAD THAT
AND HE CARRIED IT.

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
HE HAD IT WITH HIM.

THEY FOUND HIM IN IT.

- I HAVE A LOT
OF MIXED EMOTIONS OF THAT.

AND THIS MIGHT SOUND HARSH,
IT'S NOT REALLY THE CHRIS PART

ANYMORE.

IT'S MORE THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
SIDE OF IT FOR ME.

MAYBE THE TIMING'S RIGHT FOR US

TO COME FORWARD
ABOUT OUR CHILDHOOD.

BUT MAYBE THAT'S
WHY HE CUT EVERYONE OFF

AND DID SOME OF THE THINGS
HE DID, THAT OTHER THINGS

WERE GOING ON IN HIS LIFE,

BUT HE WASN'T A SPOILED RICH KID

THAT JUST DECIDED, "I DON'T WANT
YOUR MONEY, I'M GONNA TAKE OFF."

THAT THERE WAS A LOT MORE
GOING ON THERE.

YET I'M HERE.

I'M IN ALASKA.

IT'S SERIOUS.

narrator: THIS RUSTING SCHOOL

BUS HAS BEEN PARKED IN
THE SISTERS' LIVES FOR DECADES,

BUT NOTHING ULTIMATELY
PREPARES THEM

FOR WALKING INTO THIS CLEARING
TOGETHER FOR THE FIRST TIME.

- YOU KNOW WHAT,
IT'S NOT JUST CHRIS.

IT'S JUST A LOT OF THINGS.

- I KNOW.

YOU ALL RIGHT?
SURE?

- YES.
- OKAY.

- THIS AREA'S ALL OVER ME.

- IT'S SO LITTLE.

- YEAH, IT SEEMS SO MUCH SMALLER
TO ME THIS VISIT.

- YOU CAN'T BE HERE WITHOUT
JUST FEELING HIS PRESENCE.

- MY TOES ARE COLD.

YOUR FEET WARM?

- NO, THEY'RE NOT.

- I WAS GONNA SAY, I NEED TO GET
SOME DIFFERENT BOOTS.

- I DO TOO.

WELL, I DID BRING AN EXTRA PAIR
OF WOOL SOCKS.

narrator: CARINE HAS COME
HERE MANY TIMES BEFORE,

BUT FOR SHELLY AND SHAWNA,
IT'S THEIR FIRST VISIT.

- I'M GONNA SIGN WHERE I SIGNED
THE LAST COUPLE TIMES.

I'M JUST ADDING A DATE
FOR THIS VISIT.

THERE'S SOME NEW ENTRIES
SINCE I WAS HERE LAST.

- I LOVE TO BE
AROUND OTHER PEOPLE

AND I JUST DON'T THINK,
LIKE, WAS HE LONELY?

- I THINK IT'S LIKE A CASTLE.

IT'S A LITTLE FORTRESS UP HERE.

IT SITS UP,
LOOKS OVER THIS AMAZING VIEW.

IT'S SAFE.

IT'S A SAFE PLACE.
- YEAH.

narrator: BUT WHAT HAPPENED
IN THIS CLEARING STILL

HAUNTS THE MCCANDLESS.

18 YEARS AFTER CHRIS' DEATH,

WALT AND BILLIE TRAVEL
TO THE BUS WITH JAN AND WAYNE.

- WALT WAS SITTING ON THE BED
WHERE HIS SON HAD DIED,

AND HE WAS GAZING OUT THE WINDOW

AND IT, JUST, EVERYTHING
WAS ALL OVER HIS FACE.

IT WAS HIS LOVE AND HIS PAIN
AND THE HURT FOR HIS SON.

WHATEVER HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM,
WHATEVER WAS GOING ON BETWEEN,

YOU CAN SEE THE SORROW,

HOW MUCH PAIN THAT MAN
WAS IN OVER THAT.

- AND THERE ARE PEOPLE
ALL OVER THE WORLD

THAT ARE ATTRACTED BY THIS STORY
AND IT CHANGES THEM SOMEHOW.

AND SO LOOK AROUND.

IT CHANGED US.

- IT CHANGED THE WAY
WE DEAL WITH EACH OTHER.

WE HAVE MUCH MORE PATIENCE
AND UNDERSTANDING

AND EVERYTHING BETWEEN US.

WE'VE LOST OUR BEAUTIFUL SON...
- YEAH.

- BUT IT'S CHANGED OUR LIVES
IN A GOOD WAY.

- THERE ARE SOME THINGS
THAT WE WOULD WISH

THAT WERE BETTER RIGHT NOW.

- OUT OF THE SEVEN OF US,
NOBODY HAS A RELATIONSHIP

WITH THEM RIGHT NOW,

BUT EVERYONE KIND
OF GOT TO THAT POINT

AT A DIFFERENT TIME
IN THEIR LIFE,

IN A DIFFERENT WAY, MAYBE.

- WE SAY OUR PRAYERS EVERY DAY
FOR THEM AND FOR US

AND WE'D FORGIVE THEM
IN AN INSTANT AND VISE VERSA.

- IN THE END,

IF HE CAN'T BE ACCOUNTABLE
AND HE CAN'T TELL THE TRUTH,

THEN I'M GOING TO STAND
WITH THE VICTIMS.

MYSELF INCLUDED.

- BUT THERE'S THINGS I SAW,

THERE'S THINGS
I LIVED THROUGH THAT, YOU KNOW,

IN A WAY, YOU KNOW,
I'M A SURVIVOR.

MY MOM'S A SURVIVOR.

MY BROTHERS
AND SISTERS ARE SURVIVORS.

CHRIS, UNFORTUNATELY,
IS NOT A SURVIVOR.

- ALTHOUGH HE HAD SUCH SADNESS
THAT HE WAS DYING,

HE HAD THAT PEACE
WITHIN HIMSELF.

HE WAS WITH HIS MOTHER NATURE.

HE WAS WITH HIS GOD.

AND HE WAS IN HIS CHURCH.

AND HE WAS ABLE TO GO
ONTO WHATEVER THE NEXT ADVENTURE

WAS FOR HIM.

narrator: HIS FINAL GOODBYE
WAS WRITTEN ON THE BACKSIDE

OF A POEM BY ROBINSON JEFFERS.

- "DEATH'S A FIERCE MEADOWLARK:
BUT TO DIE

"HAVING MADE SOMETHING MORE
EQUAL TO THE CENTURIES

"THAN MUSCLE AND BONE,
IS MOSTLY TO SHED WEAKNESS.

"THE MOUNTAINS ARE DEAD STONE,

"THE PEOPLE ADMIRE OR HATE
THEIR STATURE,

"THEIR INSOLENT QUIETNESS,

"THE MOUNTAINS ARE NOT SOFTENED
OR TROUBLED

AND A FEW DEAD MEN'S THOUGHTS
HAVE THE SAME TEMPER."

Return to the Wild is available
on DVD.

To ord

or call 1-800-PLAY-PBS.