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1
00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:03,628
It says here there's a
supervolcano in Yellowstone
2
00:00:03,629 --> 00:00:05,838
that's gonna explode
and destroy the world.
Yeah?
3
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:08,342
So, yes, I will
have another beer.
4
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:11,844
(knocking on door)
Who's that?
5
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,472
We're everybody you know.
6
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,058
You know who's not gonna
knock before they come
7
00:00:17,059 --> 00:00:18,936
into your house?
Supervolcano.
8
00:00:21,313 --> 00:00:23,064
Adam.
9
00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:24,482
Alice.
(chuckles)
10
00:00:24,483 --> 00:00:26,192
(laughs)
Yeah.
11
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:27,860
Look, guys, it's
my mother-in-law
12
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:31,364
at my door with no warning.
13
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,115
I just wanted a nice visit
with my family.
14
00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:34,408
Ah.
Where's Andi?
15
00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:35,993
Uh, she's out buying new towels.
16
00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:37,453
Yeah, she asked
if I wanted to go with her,
17
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:38,871
and now I regret saying no.
18
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,373
Oh.
(both laugh)
19
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:43,042
Oh, Adam,
I love your little jokes.
20
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,919
(laughs)
21
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,297
I'm gonna go upstairs
and surprise the kids.
Okay.
22
00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:49,465
Hey, Don.
23
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:51,050
Hello, little man I don't know.
24
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,261
(door closes)
25
00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:55,889
Where's your supervolcano
when I need it?
26
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:02,061
The nuts are better.
Oh, good, you found my brownies.
27
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,897
I was saving those.
28
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,607
Where's Alice?
29
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:07,942
Upstairs unpacking.
30
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,777
She's really making
herself comfortable.
31
00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:13,197
She already turned
the thermostat up to 80.
32
00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:15,866
Andi is not gonna
like this surprise.
33
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:18,077
Well, what's the big deal?
Alice seems nice.
34
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,037
Uh, she is,
but she makes Andi crazy.
35
00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:22,248
And instead of telling her mom
she makes her crazy,
36
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,749
Andi puts me in the middle.
37
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,918
And I have to take it,
because of one promise
38
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,045
I made in a church 20 years ago.
39
00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:30,756
(car door closes)
40
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,758
Andi's home.
I better go warn her outside,
41
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:33,919
away from anything breakable.
42
00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:39,432
ANDI:
Hey, honey.
43
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:40,975
I got the towels.
Oh, and I picked up
44
00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:42,476
Teddy's new baseball bat.
Ooh.
45
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:45,229
Let me hold that for you.
46
00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:47,606
And can I just say
47
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:49,358
that you look beautiful
48
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:53,363
and I will love you
until the end of time.
49
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:57,950
What happened and how upset
am I going to be?
50
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:01,954
Good, your mind is prepared
for something horrible.
51
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,122
Your mom is here.
52
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,498
What?
Mm-hmm.
53
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,751
But we're not ready.
I mean, I-I haven't steamed
54
00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:09,503
or cleaned or washed or prepped.
55
00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:12,673
It looks like
our regular house in there.
56
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:15,635
Smart to get rid
of the bat, huh?
57
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,596
A volcano's bad enough,
58
00:02:18,597 --> 00:02:21,016
but a supervolcano
will take your head right off.
59
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:23,768
Hi, Mom.
60
00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:25,436
Oh, there she is.
61
00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:27,772
Oh, Don was just telling me
how we're all gonna die.
62
00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,190
Ah.
63
00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:31,984
Ah, this is such a surprise.
64
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,944
You're here.
65
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:37,406
Without calling or texting or
any of the things people do.
66
00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:38,367
(both laugh)
67
00:02:38,368 --> 00:02:39,700
Where's Dad?
68
00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:42,453
Oh, he's having a staycation
with George and Fred.
69
00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:44,081
Those are our Yorkies.
70
00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:47,375
We gave them human names
so it wouldn't be weird
71
00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:49,795
when they sit
and eat at the table.
72
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:53,297
Now, u-uh, Mom, b-before
you say anything,
73
00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:55,633
o-our house is
usually much neater.
74
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:57,301
Oh, it looks fine.
75
00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:58,719
(chuckles)
Yeah, sure.
76
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:02,223
Um... let's go into
the living room, huh?
77
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:04,517
Where the couch pillows
better be fluffed.
78
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:07,478
They might be.
79
00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:11,023
I never know what you mean
when you say that.
80
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,484
(laughs) He knows what
a fluffy pillow is, Mom.
81
00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:16,321
You can't listen to him.
He's on the beer.
82
00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:33,588
Hey.
83
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:41,138
I'm "on the beer"?
84
00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:47,601
I made $300 last year
recycling your wine bottles.
85
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:50,062
I'm sorry. I-I know
you didn't do anything wrong.
86
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:52,106
It's just, you know,
when my mom is here,
87
00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:54,024
I have to be perfect.
88
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,901
Hey, hey. Remember when
your mom wasn't here?
89
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:58,696
That was great, right?
90
00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,281
I just don't want
to disappoint her.
91
00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,032
You know, it's like
I'm ten years old.
92
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:03,868
Why can't you just tell your mom
93
00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:06,454
that you don't feel like
you can be yourself around her?
94
00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:08,372
I-I think she needs
to hear that.
95
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:11,041
You're right.
She does need to hear that.
96
00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:12,084
Finally.
97
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,836
But with one small adjustment.
98
00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,254
You see, I think
99
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,673
that she needs
to hear it from you.
100
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:19,258
Wha... No.
101
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:22,178
No. You're always putting
me in the middle.
102
00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:23,739
Yeah, yeah. You're my buffer.
(chuckles)
103
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:28,017
My big, buff buffer.
104
00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:29,768
Yeah, but I don't like it.
105
00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:32,188
You know? We're barely over
last Thanksgiving,
106
00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:34,440
when you made me tell her
that her cranberry salad
107
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,526
looked like a raccoon
that swallowed a firecracker.
108
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:40,321
Come on. Once more for me?
109
00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:42,323
One last job.
110
00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:43,991
You know, in the movies,
111
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:46,744
they always get killed
on that one last job.
112
00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,829
I-It... It'll be great.
It'll be great.
113
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:51,248
After dinner, I'll go to bed
and you can talk to her.
114
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:54,084
And then, when I wake up,
all the bad stuff will be over.
115
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:56,254
Just like surgery.
116
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,715
Fine. I'll talk to her.
117
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,927
But I'm gonna be on the beer
when I do it.
118
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:08,891
(clears throat)
Okay.
119
00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:09,892
Hey.
120
00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:12,353
Kids are all tucked in.
121
00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:14,897
Where's Andi?
Uh, already in bed. Yeah.
122
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:17,274
Somehow I got you all to myself.
(chuckles)
123
00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:18,734
But, um,
124
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:21,946
it's good, because, uh, I need
to talk to you about something,
125
00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:23,822
and it's a little delicate.
126
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,450
Okay. Before we get
to that, I have
127
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:29,204
to tell you something,
and it's-it's pretty personal.
128
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:36,585
That sounds like
an anybody-but-me situation.
129
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,879
Oh, but you know
that I love you like a son.
130
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,464
And you've been
so wonderful to me
131
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,925
from the first moment
that we met.
132
00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:45,344
Oh, I-I think you misunderstood.
133
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,429
I was just trying to sleep
with your daughter.
134
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:50,224
(laughs)
135
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,809
Adam, you're so funny.
136
00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:53,310
(chuckles)
137
00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:56,898
But the thing is,
I've left Andi's father.
138
00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:01,026
What?
139
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,279
Yeah. Oh, no,
it's okay, it's okay.
140
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:06,282
Oh, Frank and I have known
this was coming for a long time.
141
00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:10,953
But last Thursday Frank sneezed
too loud and I just had it.
142
00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:14,081
Oh, Alice, I'm sorry.
143
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:15,249
Oh, d... no, don't be.
144
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:18,085
I am rediscovering who I am.
145
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,087
I mean, who knows,
I might be a vegan.
146
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:23,049
I might be a Democrat
or I might be a lesbian.
147
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,884
Wow.
148
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:29,179
Well, it's nice to have options.
149
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:32,349
Yeah. I do have one favor
to ask you, though.
150
00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:34,351
Yeah, sure, anything, anything.
Well, uh,
151
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:36,186
Andi's gonna need
to hear the news.
152
00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:37,354
That'll be tough.
Yeah.
153
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:39,898
Which is why I'd like her
to hear it from you.
154
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:41,734
(groans)
155
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:44,153
That puts me in the middle.
156
00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:46,238
You're gonna do a super job.
157
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,532
And I'll take the kids
to the zoo tomorrow.
158
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:51,535
And when I get back,
all the messiness will be over.
159
00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:54,289
It's just like surgery.
160
00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:09,386
(shouts)
161
00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:11,388
You scared me.
162
00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:12,848
Oh, good, good.
Your mind is prepared
163
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,558
for something horrible again.
164
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:17,019
Oh, did the talk with my mom
not go well?
165
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:19,731
Well... there were some
complications during surgery.
166
00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,316
She told me some tough news.
167
00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:25,319
Oh, my God. Did something happen
to the Yorkies?
168
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,071
Kind of.
169
00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:29,074
Their parents split up.
170
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:33,160
Listen, I am here for you.
171
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:35,162
Whatever you need,
you just tell me.
172
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:38,416
'Cause you know
I won't know on my own.
173
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,337
God, my poor dad.
174
00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:45,673
Yeah, well, the good news is,
I called to check on him.
175
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,424
He's doing great.
176
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:48,801
He's gonna open
a topless car wash
177
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,012
called Put 'Em on the Glass.
178
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,556
Yeah, he's been talking
about that for years.
179
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,850
Oh. Well, that makes sense.
180
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:59,561
Yeah, you don't come up with a
clever name like that overnight.
181
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:03,232
I just... I never
saw this coming,
182
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,608
but I... although
I don't know why I would.
183
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,276
She never tells me anything.
She didn't even tell me this.
184
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:08,445
She made you do it.
And I don't appreciate
185
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:09,822
her making you tell me things.
186
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,533
You should go tell her that.
187
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:16,955
What? That puts me
in the middle again.
188
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:21,375
Adam, 20 years ago,
you made a promise to me...
189
00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:23,837
In a church. I remember.
190
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:27,257
I should've read the fine print.
191
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:31,552
(sighs) You know what
would solve everything?
192
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:33,470
Is if your mom wasn't here.
193
00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:36,098
Oh, I can't kick her out now.
She'll think I'm upset with her.
194
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:37,182
You are upset with her.
195
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,436
That's why she can't know.
That's how we do it.
196
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:43,272
That's ridiculous.
197
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,773
But what I'm hearing is,
198
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:47,192
if you two can talk
things out, she can go?
199
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,737
Uh...
I like it.
200
00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:52,865
I like it. Now that there's
a little cheese in the trap,
201
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,032
I'm interested.
202
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,492
(car door closes)
203
00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:57,786
Ah. Good morning.
204
00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,246
Hi, Mom.
205
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:02,249
You told her already?
But I'm still here.
206
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,293
The damn zoo doesn't open
till 10:00.
207
00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:05,919
Oh...
208
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,755
Okay. Okay, okay, okay,
no more of this.
209
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,798
I-I'm done being the middleman.
210
00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:14,052
Okay? You two need to talk
to each other like grown women,
211
00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:16,847
not like a ten-year-old
and her mother.
212
00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:19,850
How are we supposed
to magically be able to do that?
213
00:09:19,851 --> 00:09:22,436
I don't know. With alcohol.
214
00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:24,146
Go... go out,
215
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,231
get drunk, say a bunch
of things you can't take back.
216
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,860
Act like a family,
for God's sakes.
217
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,074
So, Frank and Alice are
calling it a day, huh?
218
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:38,411
Phew. Talk about dropping out
of the marathon at mile 25.
219
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,331
Well, it's sad
they're breaking up,
220
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:44,792
but Frank's got a winner
with that car wash.
221
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:47,252
I mean, it's hard to compete
with soapy hooters.
222
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:48,879
Well, now I'm stuck in a house
223
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,672
with two women
who can't communicate.
224
00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:53,008
So I'm sending them to a bar
to see if some cocktails
225
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:55,385
will help them
open up to each other.
226
00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:57,304
I don't need drinks
to tell the truth.
227
00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:59,515
I'll be honest
anywhere, anytime.
228
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:02,185
You look tired. See?
229
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:07,189
If I'm honest, you could be
a little less honest.
230
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,399
Without Frank around,
231
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:13,112
I'll bet Alice is gonna try to
take over as favorite grandma.
232
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:17,324
I got cocky because
I was local, but now
233
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:20,661
I got to step up my game.
234
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:22,704
I'm hungry.
235
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,164
I'm on it.
236
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:27,709
How about ice cream
for dinner, hmm?
237
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:31,422
Grandma Alice makes you eat
vegetables. What a dud.
238
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:36,969
Hey, Alice.
239
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,011
Hey, what's happening up here?
240
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:39,304
Looks like you had
some work done.
241
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,265
Oh, thanks, Don.
242
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:43,267
No, since, since I'm back
in the dating game,
243
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,602
I watched a video
about how to do a smoky eye.
244
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:47,396
Been there.
245
00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:49,940
Hey, Alice, you, uh,
you ready for tonight?
246
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:52,442
Just have a real conversation
with Andi.
247
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,236
Talk about what
you're going through.
248
00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:55,362
Well, it's been emotional...
249
00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:57,614
Not to me, to Andi.
250
00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:58,699
You did it again, there.
251
00:10:58,700 --> 00:10:59,783
(both chuckling)
252
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:01,743
Oh, Joe's here.
253
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:04,539
Let's see if your mother-in-law
can still make the dogs bark.
254
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:07,708
She's a grandmother.
255
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:09,585
Why can't she just
bake some cookies?
256
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:12,337
God, Joe, look at you.
257
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:14,923
The older you get,
the more distinguished you look.
258
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,592
Oh, that's what they tell me.
259
00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:18,010
(chuckles)
Well, I'm glad I found you,
260
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,177
'cause I need a little help.
261
00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:20,929
Hmm?
(clears throat)
262
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:23,224
Zip me up, would you?
Oh.
263
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:27,228
What the hell am I looking at?
264
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:30,689
What the hell am I looking at?
265
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:33,442
I'm zipping it up,
not down, Bev.
266
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,485
You haven't zipped me up
since the '60s.
267
00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:37,738
You tell me to hook it
with a back scratcher.
268
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:40,490
We're leaving, Joe.
269
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,409
We'll talk about this
when we get home.
270
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:44,620
I can't help it,
it's these khakis.
271
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:46,414
Tight in all the right places.
272
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:50,918
Okay. I'm ready.
273
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:52,294
There's my girl.
274
00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,004
Okay, you got this, babe,
all right?
275
00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:56,089
You get a little tipsy,
talk things out,
276
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:57,799
and then it's adios, Alice.
277
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,510
Huh? It's gonna be great.
Especially that last part.
278
00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:02,846
Okay, come on, Alice.
Put your game face on.
279
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:04,014
We are walking.
280
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:05,515
Hustle.
Hustle, hustle, hustle.
281
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:06,725
Okay.
Hustle, hustle.
282
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,019
Okay. All right. Hey, hey.
283
00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:11,897
Just have a real
conversation with her.
284
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,190
Okay, well, don't get
your hopes up.
285
00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:14,191
We don't have those.
286
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:15,484
That's the spirit. Off you go.
287
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:18,487
KATE:
Dad?
288
00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,489
We heard about Nana and Pop-Pop.
289
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:21,490
Is everything okay?
290
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:23,033
Oh. Uh, listen,
291
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,660
I don't want you guys to worry
292
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:26,370
because your grandparents
split up, all right?
293
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:27,663
Yeah, your dad's right.
294
00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:29,831
There's a supervolcano
under Yellowstone
295
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,834
that's gonna make this
the least of your problems.
296
00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:40,550
(Alice and Andi chuckling)
297
00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:42,010
There they are.
ANDI:
Hi.
298
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:42,595
How'd it go?
299
00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:45,389
Oh. It was so beautiful.
300
00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:47,391
Oh, I thought this might work.
301
00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:50,060
Therapy's great,
but liquor's quicker.
(Andi chuckles)
302
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:53,355
I mean, for the first time,
we could just be ourselves.
303
00:12:53,356 --> 00:12:54,982
It's the most open
we've ever been.
Yeah.
304
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:57,150
I think I was so
closed off before
305
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:59,569
because I had to be
perfect to convince myself
306
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:00,612
that I was happy.
307
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,197
Oh, yeah, I don't
need the details.
308
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,700
I was just looking for
thumbs up, thumbs down.
309
00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:06,827
Ooh. And guess what.
310
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,079
Our Uber driver asked
my mom for her number.
311
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:10,872
Ah.
(chuckles)
312
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:12,541
Yeah, but he seemed
like a gentleman, right?
313
00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:14,334
He always used his turn signal.
Yeah.
314
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,253
Well, good for you.
315
00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:19,006
Ah... and now that things
are resolved between you two,
316
00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:20,924
you can go start your new life.
317
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:24,469
And where better to do
that than not here?
318
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:25,971
She's not going anywhere.
319
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,848
Like, we've just started
to bond.
320
00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:30,142
As-as far as I'm concerned,
she could stay here forever.
321
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,601
ALICE:
Oh...
Forever?
322
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:32,728
What...?
323
00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:35,147
How can she stay forever
if she's leaving?
324
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,065
That doesn't make sense.
325
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:40,110
I'm just happy that my daughter
326
00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:42,279
wants me around forever.
327
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:43,321
Aw...
328
00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:45,365
Thanks for making us talk, Adam.
329
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:47,075
You know, you did this.
330
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:50,787
Aw, you don't have to rub it in.
331
00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:52,165
(all chuckling)
332
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,417
Listen, we need to talk about
333
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:57,669
how long your mom's gonna be
staying with us, because
334
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,672
the answer to that
can't be "forever."
335
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:03,300
Sure, baby.
336
00:14:03,301 --> 00:14:05,635
Why don't you come chat
about it under the covers?
No, no,
337
00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:08,430
no-no-no-no, this is serious.
338
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:09,556
Your mom is...
Blah,
339
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:11,725
blah, blah, take
your shirt off.
What? No, wait.
340
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:15,270
Honey, honey. We have important
things to discuss.
341
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,648
But I'm feeling so good.
342
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:21,735
I am not a machine.
343
00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:24,155
Okay, you can't just turn me on.
344
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:30,577
(sighs)
345
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,747
Okay, we'll talk tomorrow.
Ooh!
346
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,542
Forever. That was
the exact word she used.
347
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:40,837
So, just get Andi
to ask Alice to leave.
348
00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:42,297
I tried that.
349
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:44,716
But she bewitched me with sex.
350
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,176
Wives will do that.
351
00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:48,637
That's why I don't have
a snowmobile.
352
00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:50,139
Or a say in anything.
353
00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:52,682
I don't know what to do.
354
00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:55,185
My wife is happy, but I'm living
with my mother-in-law.
355
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:58,438
It's crazy. I got lonely
Uber drivers circling my house
356
00:14:58,439 --> 00:14:59,899
like it's the airport.
357
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:03,777
So, the question is,
whose happiness
358
00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:07,322
is more important,
yours or Andi's?
359
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:10,743
Why did you ask it like that?
Are you wearing a wire?
360
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,329
I got the solution to this.
361
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,873
Does it involve a supervolcano?
362
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:20,586
No. But now I need a minute.
363
00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:24,548
ANDI:
You know, Mom,
364
00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:26,466
this week has been so fun.
365
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:28,176
You know, we're so comfortable
around each other now,
366
00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,469
we can shop for bras.
367
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:30,679
I mean, before this,
I don't even think
368
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:31,889
I could say "bra" to you.
369
00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,517
Hey, do you like this one?
370
00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:38,937
Uh... that's too complicated
to unhook.
371
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,731
I'm gonna be dating men in
the early stages of arthritis,
372
00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:43,401
I want to make it easy on them.
373
00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:53,535
Oh. Wow, uh, maybe you should
pick your own bra. (chuckles)
374
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:55,912
This is what friends do.
375
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:56,913
(both chuckle)
376
00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:58,248
Oh, and I have to tell you,
377
00:15:58,249 --> 00:16:01,419
I am loving this sexual freedom.
378
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,588
See, now, your dad,
he wanted his wife
379
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:06,298
to be this bra.
380
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:08,175
But I wanted to be this bra.
381
00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:10,010
(chuckles)
382
00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:11,761
I mean, you know, come on,
let's try some stuff, Frank.
383
00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:14,223
Pull my hair once in a while.
384
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:17,851
ADAM:
Okay.
385
00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:19,394
So, for my wife's happiness,
386
00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:20,687
I am just going
to accept the fact
387
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,439
that my mother-in-law
lives with us.
388
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,900
I'm gonna be a better person.
I'm gonna be that guy.
389
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:27,236
That guy sleeps in the garage.
390
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:30,156
Eventually with the car running.
391
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,950
Don does paint a bleak picture.
392
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,827
But...
393
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:39,123
But nothing, I just thought he
did a nice job describing it.
394
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:44,461
My mom's got to go.
395
00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:47,964
Oh, thank God. I was trying
to be a better person,
396
00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:49,258
but it just doesn't
feel like me.
397
00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:51,760
What changed your mind?
398
00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:54,304
Well, like, I'm glad that my mom
and I are more open.
399
00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:57,807
But now it's too open.
400
00:16:57,808 --> 00:17:01,937
I-I-If she leaves, maybe we can
just slow this whole thing down.
401
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,438
"If she leaves." I like
where you're going with this.
402
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:04,606
What do you need from me?
403
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:05,899
Help me get rid of her.
404
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:07,943
But without making her feel
like we're getting rid of her.
405
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:09,069
Okay. All right.
406
00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:11,279
Using underhanded means
to get what I want.
407
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,573
Now this feels like me.
408
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:20,664
Okay, Mom. Per your request,
I made you a flirtini.
409
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:25,210
So, here's to your
sexual awakening, I guess.
410
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:28,546
Thanks, honey.
That's very woke of you.
411
00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:30,048
I've been on the Internet.
412
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,049
(chuckles)
413
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,468
(knock on door)
414
00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:34,844
(quietly):
Hey.
415
00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:36,513
Thanks for coming.
You ready to do this?
416
00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:39,266
It'll be easy. I'll let
the khakis do the talking.
417
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:43,228
Oh. Hi, Joe.
418
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:45,522
Ah, there she is.
419
00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:48,024
The soft spring night
can only be enhanced
420
00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:49,735
by a beautiful woman.
421
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,446
Alice, let's dance.
422
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:56,033
Since that night I zipped you,
I've been dying to dip you.
423
00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:59,911
But, Joe, you're married to Bev.
424
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,246
And you used to be
married to Frank.
425
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:02,665
We're halfway there.
426
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,334
(gasps)
427
00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:09,379
I knew when I saw
your Old Spice on the counter,
428
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:10,464
you were up to no good.
429
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:15,093
And you... you get
your hands off my man.
430
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,595
It's not what it looks like.
431
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:19,681
It is if it looks like love.
432
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:22,559
Joe, come on, stop
it. No, Bev, Bev,
433
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,602
I didn't mean for any
of this to happen.
434
00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:28,648
I-I think it's my new bra.
It unleashed something.
435
00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:32,027
Touch my husband again
and I'll unleash something.
436
00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:33,153
Ma, easy, Ma, easy.
437
00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:34,530
Get off me.
Easy.
438
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,866
Mom, may-maybe you should
head upstairs.
439
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,451
I don't know how long
he can hold her.
440
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,870
Honey, I don't know
if upstairs is far enough.
441
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:42,954
Where else could she go?
442
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,373
I don't know. No one
in this family's safe
443
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:46,708
with her kind of
444
00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:48,043
raw sexuality around.
445
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:50,046
A cougar needs to hunt.
446
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:53,631
You know, maybe it is
time for me to leave
447
00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:54,758
and start my new life.
448
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:57,385
W... O-Only if
it's right for you.
449
00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:59,804
Yeah, well, maybe I could
take a trip to Italy.
450
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:03,391
The land of olive oil
and hairy men.
451
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:04,935
Tell your story walking.
452
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:08,521
And if I see you
around here again,
453
00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:10,231
I'll give you a smoky eye
454
00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:12,026
without the makeup.
455
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:15,487
Mom.
456
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:17,822
You were terrifying.
Great performance.
457
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:18,990
What are you talking about?
458
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:22,243
What? Wh-Why don't you know
what I'm talking about?
459
00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:25,330
Bev, there you are. I've been
looking all over for you.
460
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,374
I didn't get to tell her
about the plan.
Ugh, no...
461
00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:28,541
What plan?
462
00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:31,252
Dad was just faking it
to get Alice to leave.
463
00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:33,755
Ah? Oh!
464
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:36,216
I'm sorry, Joe.
465
00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:39,427
I wish I'd known.
I wouldn't have held back.
466
00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:41,429
That was holding back?
467
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:43,432
Yeah. My mom
can beat up your mom.
468
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,063
Bye, Mom.
Bye, Alice.
469
00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:51,399
Close the door.
470
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:54,359
Have fun in Italy.
471
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,195
Close the door!
472
00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:01,783
Honey. Do you understand
what just happened?
473
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:05,120
Yeah. You closed the door
so your mom can't get back in.
No.
474
00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:07,205
No.
475
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,165
Our whole relationship
has changed.
476
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:11,584
I can finally be myself
around her.
477
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:14,003
Of course, I'll have to get used
to her being herself around me,
478
00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:16,090
but it's a big step forward.
479
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:18,883
And it's all thanks to you.
480
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:20,385
Aw, well, I'm happy for you.
481
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:21,553
Hmm.
482
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,054
Hey. You know how
we should celebrate?
483
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:26,474
Do, do, do that thing where
you unbutton my buttons.
484
00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:27,518
(whistles)
485
00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:29,769
Hmm.
486
00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:32,480
Honey...
it's been a crazy week.
487
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:33,607
Let's just watch TV.
488
00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:40,614
I miss your mom.
35277
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