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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:07,120 Just because he brought John Woo to Hollywood ... 2 00:04:07,121 --> 00:04:10,916 doesn't mean he can rub my dick with sandpaper. 3 00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:17,881 He still thinks we're making Citizen Kane? 4 00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:24,888 Not using a gun symbolizes the whole purity of the character. 5 00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:32,187 The Purity ... 6 00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:03,380 See the Arab in the film? See that beard? 7 00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:06,883 Ever seen one like that on a plane or a bus? 8 00:07:06,884 --> 00:07:08,844 You think I look like him? 9 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,305 The movie's from 1986. 10 00:07:12,306 --> 00:07:14,641 Haven't you ever had an idea just to realize ... 11 00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:17,144 you've seen it before? 12 00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:21,273 Chuck Norris giving Bin Laden the idea of 9-11, that's bull! 13 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,733 But Chuck Norris works for the C.I.A. 14 00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:25,569 Yesterday it was Schwarzenegger. 15 00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:29,364 Seen how the Arabs in True Lies get all excited like hyenas? 16 00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:31,283 Action films need bad guys. 17 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,451 Exactly! 18 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:35,287 In the '70s, it was the Viets, now the Arabs. 19 00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:39,791 Stallone in Rambo 3, Hauer in Wanted: Dead or Alive. 20 00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:41,668 Bruce Willis in The Siege. 21 00:07:41,669 --> 00:07:43,670 Steven Seagal in Executive Decision? 22 00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:44,963 And what's his name? 23 00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:47,466 Mark Wahlberg who fights in Iraq? 24 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:50,010 - Jean-Claude Van Damme! - He never hit Arabs. 25 00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:51,845 Dummy, Van Damme's outside! 26 00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:53,180 Hey, Mr. Van Damme! 27 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:55,265 Wait, I'm a great fan of yours! 28 00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:57,559 - How are you? - Fine, and you? 29 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,311 What's this? "Lost in Schaerbeek"? 30 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,604 Going to the post office. 31 00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:02,397 A quick snap for the store? 32 00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:03,607 Thanks, sir! 33 00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:04,941 Look, Jean-Claude Van Damme! 34 00:08:04,942 --> 00:08:06,109 Hello! 35 00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:08,278 Don't "hello" him, just take the picture. 36 00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:13,492 Your turn now. 37 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,118 Jean-Claude Van Damme! 38 00:08:19,248 --> 00:08:21,708 Wait, my grandma adores you, too ... 39 00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:23,585 In five minutes. 40 00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:25,045 Thanks, sir. 41 00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:27,130 Wow! It was Jean-Claude Van Damme! 42 00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:28,423 He's cool! 43 00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:30,759 I pictured him taller, but he's short. 44 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,845 He's cool! Classy and all! 45 00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:35,347 He's all tanned. 46 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,015 He'll be right back. 47 00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:40,101 - He cured cancer or what? - Why, did you? 48 00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:41,728 No, but nobody kisses my ass. 49 00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:43,063 He's a star! 50 00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,856 He left this shit hole for Hollywood. 51 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:46,942 He fought to be where he is now. 52 00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,443 You've never left town! 53 00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:51,863 Whether you're a star or a dog, I don't care. 54 00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:54,032 Then why are you waiting for him? 55 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,700 You can't park here! 56 00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:59,162 He's just a regular guy. Back off. watch my car! 57 00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,249 Calm down, ma'am! 58 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:05,544 Move back, I don't wanna see you around here! 59 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,837 - Help me, sir. - You can't park here. 60 00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:10,674 - Only ten minutes! - She's waiting for her idol. 61 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:11,758 Who's the idol? 62 00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:12,759 Jean-Claude Van Damme. 63 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:13,760 Who? 64 00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:14,886 Jean-Claude Van Damme. 65 00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:16,388 Get outta here! 66 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,973 "Aware!" 67 00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:20,308 Look, we have pictures. 68 00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:21,393 How is he? 69 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,686 He's nice. 70 00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:24,854 He's just a regular guy, sir. 71 00:09:24,855 --> 00:09:27,357 I don't think so, the guy's a star. 72 00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:30,360 He left this shit hole for Hollywood. 73 00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:32,445 He fought to get where he is now. 74 00:09:32,446 --> 00:09:35,282 You've never even left town! 75 00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:39,411 So what? Bunch of ass-kissers. 76 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,745 What'd you say? 77 00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:42,080 I was talking to them. 78 00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,290 Help me! 79 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:45,375 I was talking to them, I swear! 80 00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:47,127 Plain, old flat to me. Registration, please. 81 00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:49,212 - Oh, come on! - Registration! 82 00:09:49,213 --> 00:09:50,755 Don't ruin my day, please! 83 00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:52,382 Registration! 84 00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:55,802 I always get this crap, thanks. 85 00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:56,803 Anytime! 86 00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:58,555 You owe me big time! 87 00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,852 Shut up! 88 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,401 For once, it's not my fault! 89 00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:13,069 Please, ma'am, shut up! 90 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,826 Stop now. 91 00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:29,628 Don't stay here! 92 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,671 Get lost! 93 00:10:31,672 --> 00:10:35,216 You heard me! 94 00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:36,593 Shit ... 95 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,605 Open! What's going on in there? 96 00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:50,315 What's going on? 97 00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:52,711 On the ground! On the ground! 98 00:12:09,478 --> 00:12:11,020 Central to Unit 27. 99 00:12:11,021 --> 00:12:12,981 Jean-Claude Van Damme's robbing a post office. 100 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:15,483 I need backup. 101 00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:17,235 Possible hostage situation. 102 00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:19,821 I repeat: possible hostage situation. 103 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,993 1. The Answer before the Question. 104 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,292 He's in court for his daughter's custody, 105 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:35,712 and he can't approach his ex-wife. 106 00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:38,298 He picked up! 107 00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:48,099 Please, move, convince ... Perfect. 108 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,101 Mr. Van Damme? 109 00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:57,317 This is Commissioner Bruges. 110 00:12:57,318 --> 00:13:01,029 How are things inside? 111 00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:02,822 It could be better. 112 00:13:02,823 --> 00:13:06,618 Okay, let me ask you first, is anyone injured? 113 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,664 Hello? Jean-Claude? 114 00:13:11,665 --> 00:13:16,795 No, no, a man's unconscious and bleeding. 115 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:19,839 Jean-Claude — may I call you Jean-Claude? 116 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:21,800 I'm Commissioner Christian Bruges. 117 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,010 Call me Christian. 118 00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:26,679 You have to release the wounded man. 119 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,765 It's not in your interest, nor mine, 120 00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:31,100 to have blood on our hands. 121 00:13:42,863 --> 00:13:44,656 Will you release him? 122 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:47,534 No, no one leaves, it's impossible. 123 00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:55,500 What if I came with a doctor? 124 00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:56,835 Hello? 125 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,670 Jean-Claude? 126 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,839 What if I came with a doctor? 127 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,382 Fine, but unarmed. 128 00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:04,259 I give you my word. 129 00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,718 Commissioner Bruges? 130 00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:07,762 Call me a doc, please! 131 00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:10,056 Lieutenant Perthier, SWAT team. 132 00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:12,058 I just spoke with Van Damme. 133 00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:16,229 So, I'm going inside and then we'll debrief, if necessary. 134 00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:19,315 - I'd like to deploy my men. - No, it's too soon. 135 00:14:19,316 --> 00:14:21,609 Could I borrow you a vest? 136 00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:22,902 I'll give it back. 137 00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:24,237 Jackie. 138 00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:26,114 A doctor, please. 139 00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:30,535 I asked for a doc! 140 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:31,870 Get me a doc! 141 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,413 Eric went to Med school. 142 00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:34,789 Okay, let's go. 143 00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:35,999 Boss! 144 00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:42,005 Hello? 145 00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:43,339 Jean-Claude? 146 00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:45,174 No! 147 00:14:45,175 --> 00:14:46,926 You have my word that — 148 00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:52,140 Jean-Claude, we're here to find — 149 00:14:59,189 --> 00:15:00,523 What? 150 00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:38,978 We see the chief of police 151 00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:41,648 exiting the video store, crisis unit H.Q., 152 00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:45,735 and going towards the post office in his boxer shorts. 153 00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:48,988 Is Van Damme trying to mock the police? 154 00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:52,742 In any case, it seems to be working, 155 00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:55,828 as the public is rooting for him, 156 00:15:55,829 --> 00:15:58,414 in spite of today's events. 157 00:15:58,415 --> 00:16:00,959 The shorts! The shorts! 158 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:04,921 The shorts ... 159 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,711 Don't shoot, I'm a hostage! 160 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,533 Drop the kit. 161 00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,788 Slide it over. 162 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,585 Check the kit. 163 00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:46,064 Go to the back room. 164 00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:54,906 Hurry, he's bleeding! 165 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,241 No tricks, Jean-Claude. 166 00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:07,043 Van Damme's fame has driven them here. 167 00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:09,837 They're clearly fans, here to support him, 168 00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:12,799 and the slightest move gets the crowd on fire, 169 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:16,010 yelling out his name. 170 00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:17,804 We've heard a few snide remarks, 171 00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:20,515 like the one about the Commissioner, 172 00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:22,433 who went out in his shorts. 173 00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:24,310 But the situation is dramatic ... 174 00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:30,441 Sir, don't move. 175 00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:33,778 What am I doing here? 176 00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:36,030 What's going on? 177 00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:37,824 Calm down, sir. 178 00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:40,910 - Don't move. - It hurts. 179 00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:43,329 What the fuck — 180 00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:45,164 No, Jean-Claude, no! 181 00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:03,266 Don't move! Get outta here! 182 00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:05,601 Calm down, Jean-Claude! 183 00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:07,562 Get outta here! 184 00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:13,901 The curtain, help them! 185 00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:26,372 Right on. 186 00:19:26,373 --> 00:19:27,623 Gimme five! 187 00:19:27,624 --> 00:19:29,417 Awesome. How did you do that? 188 00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:30,710 Seriously, what a pro! 189 00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:33,296 - What's this? - See what he did? 190 00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:35,590 This isn't a movie, what do I care? 191 00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:38,676 Take him with the others, fast! 192 00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:40,636 Listen, smart-ass, 193 00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:44,056 you better think of something or I'll shoot ... 194 00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:46,058 How do you do it, Jean-Claude? 195 00:19:46,059 --> 00:19:49,604 You got him in the balls with your foot and your hand! 196 00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:53,107 You're too fast for me, I swear. 197 00:19:54,401 --> 00:19:56,652 Sit down, you deserve it. 198 00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:19,550 Hey. 199 00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:22,053 Can't you see he saved his life? 200 00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,347 He saved all of us. 201 00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:27,141 Jean-Claude, he's still out cold! 202 00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:29,435 What a fag. 203 00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:34,398 Find a way to get us outta here, 204 00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:37,276 or I'll shoot one per hour, starting with our hero. 205 00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:39,403 They're clueless. 206 00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:41,322 We can ask anything ... 207 00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:46,160 like a ransom with him as hostage. 208 00:20:46,161 --> 00:20:47,828 Let's ask for a million! 209 00:20:47,829 --> 00:20:48,913 A million? 210 00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,706 Where do you see a million? 211 00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:52,792 Have you ever even seen a million? 212 00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:55,795 Where are you? In a post office! 213 00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:56,837 He's a star! 214 00:20:56,838 --> 00:20:58,422 I mean, it's Van Damme! 215 00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:00,841 They expect more than a mil. 216 00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:07,390 We leave with him and the cash. 217 00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:10,851 So the hostages can go to the cops once we're out. 218 00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:18,526 Talking about a brain ... 219 00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:21,696 You almost got me killed! 220 00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:23,698 - You realize? - Listen ... 221 00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:24,991 I'd be dead! 222 00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:26,409 You're not the F.B.I.! 223 00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:27,785 I'm still the boss. 224 00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:29,578 Go to Hollywood for drama! 225 00:21:29,579 --> 00:21:30,871 I work here! 226 00:21:30,872 --> 00:21:32,665 Fuck your action men in black! 227 00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:34,417 They're no better than us. 228 00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:36,335 Let's just shoot him. 229 00:21:36,336 --> 00:21:39,463 That's not our job, we're here to save lives! 230 00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:41,590 So maybe that's what it takes! 231 00:21:41,591 --> 00:21:43,217 This isn't a war! 232 00:21:43,218 --> 00:21:45,511 You're telling me how to do my job? 233 00:21:45,512 --> 00:21:47,638 Can't you just shut up? 234 00:21:47,639 --> 00:21:49,181 The gendarmes are gonna show up. 235 00:21:49,182 --> 00:21:51,809 Get lost. 236 00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:53,227 Yeah, get outta here. 237 00:21:59,526 --> 00:22:03,404 What are you laughing at? 238 00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:06,907 And the kid? 239 00:22:06,908 --> 00:22:09,160 The kid ... 240 00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:11,787 we take him with us. 241 00:22:11,788 --> 00:22:13,748 Know anyone that would want to have ... 242 00:22:13,749 --> 00:22:16,500 a dead kid on their conscience? 243 00:22:16,501 --> 00:22:18,252 Yes. 244 00:22:29,556 --> 00:22:30,848 Boss! 245 00:22:34,227 --> 00:22:36,520 - The blood ... - Yes, Jean-Claude? 246 00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:38,397 It's because of your crap. 247 00:22:38,398 --> 00:22:40,983 No, I have nothing to do with this. 248 00:22:40,984 --> 00:22:42,985 The SWAT team decided alone ... 249 00:22:42,986 --> 00:22:44,653 I swear, I wouldn't have — 250 00:22:44,654 --> 00:22:47,198 - I have a list of demands. - Yes. 251 00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:50,659 You have to do something about the kid first. 252 00:22:50,660 --> 00:22:54,163 The kid, you have to release him. 253 00:22:54,164 --> 00:22:56,248 Negative. 254 00:22:56,249 --> 00:22:58,834 - You have enough hostages. - Cut the crap! 255 00:22:58,835 --> 00:23:00,628 You want the list or not? 256 00:23:00,629 --> 00:23:02,004 Yes, I'm listening. 257 00:23:02,005 --> 00:23:04,298 You have enough hostages. 258 00:23:04,299 --> 00:23:06,801 Okay, I want a million euros in small bills. 259 00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:09,804 Unmarked, with different serial numbers. 260 00:23:09,805 --> 00:23:13,599 I want a bus for the airport, a jet with a full tank. 261 00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,894 Destination to be confirmed once I'm on-board. 262 00:23:16,895 --> 00:23:19,939 Then I'll release the hostages. 263 00:23:19,940 --> 00:23:22,483 You're asking a lot, Jean-Claude. 264 00:23:22,484 --> 00:23:24,860 Honestly, you realize that ... 265 00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:32,159 - It won't work. - What? 266 00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:33,869 I'm Jean-Claude Van Damme. 267 00:23:33,870 --> 00:23:36,622 It makes no sense, it's all bullshit. 268 00:23:36,623 --> 00:23:38,541 It should be less realistic. 269 00:23:38,542 --> 00:23:40,543 Like what? 270 00:23:40,544 --> 00:23:42,753 Wait, I have an idea. 271 00:23:42,754 --> 00:23:48,134 I'll also need $465,000 ... 272 00:23:48,135 --> 00:23:49,301 Yeah. 273 00:23:49,302 --> 00:23:51,011 ... to be delivered by noon, 274 00:23:51,012 --> 00:23:55,391 to the firm Bernstein, Katz, and Phillis — 275 00:23:59,062 --> 00:24:01,105 He hung up. 276 00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:02,815 What's that? A code? 277 00:24:02,816 --> 00:24:04,150 No, it makes more sense. 278 00:24:04,151 --> 00:24:05,443 Who are those guys? 279 00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:08,028 - My attorneys in L.A. - Don't mess with me. 280 00:24:08,029 --> 00:24:09,864 Dumb-ass. He's in court for the custody — 281 00:24:09,865 --> 00:24:12,658 Shut up! You leave them all alone! 282 00:24:13,994 --> 00:24:15,786 - Change the tone. - Shut up. 283 00:24:15,787 --> 00:24:17,872 - Watch it, okay? - Go back. 284 00:24:17,873 --> 00:24:19,165 I'm not your baby brother. 285 00:24:19,166 --> 00:24:20,624 Go. 286 00:24:20,625 --> 00:24:22,877 Look, Carradine, I'll go when I'm ready. 287 00:24:22,878 --> 00:24:24,420 Go back, your idol's coming. 288 00:24:24,421 --> 00:24:26,338 Ass-kisser, get lost! 289 00:24:26,339 --> 00:24:29,049 I'm staying. 290 00:24:29,050 --> 00:24:30,718 Now, I'm going. 291 00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:32,136 Okay, then go! 292 00:24:32,137 --> 00:24:34,930 He's right, a movie star asking for a million ... 293 00:24:34,931 --> 00:24:36,390 it's ridiculous. 294 00:24:36,391 --> 00:24:39,685 But a star asking for money to pay his law fees ... 295 00:24:39,686 --> 00:24:41,645 sounds desperate. 296 00:24:41,646 --> 00:24:44,815 Not bad, not bad at all. 297 00:24:44,816 --> 00:24:46,275 Go back with the others. 298 00:24:46,276 --> 00:24:48,444 I said, beat it! 299 00:24:59,831 --> 00:25:02,541 Look at those idiots. 300 00:25:03,877 --> 00:25:06,462 So: 1 + 1 = 1. It's still you. 301 00:25:06,463 --> 00:25:08,464 - It's love. - 2 in 1. 302 00:25:08,465 --> 00:25:12,092 But for us: 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4. 303 00:25:12,093 --> 00:25:13,552 Then we're "selfish." 304 00:25:13,553 --> 00:25:16,013 We take money without sharing it. 305 00:25:16,014 --> 00:25:20,476 But if 1 + 1 = 1 ... Or maybe 1 + 1 = 11. 306 00:25:20,477 --> 00:25:22,019 That's beautiful! 307 00:25:22,020 --> 00:25:24,563 I just got back from Belgium today. 308 00:25:24,564 --> 00:25:26,398 I was at my mother's, and ... 309 00:25:26,399 --> 00:25:28,692 What was the name he said, in English? 310 00:25:28,693 --> 00:25:30,903 - Bernstein. - What? 311 00:25:30,904 --> 00:25:33,364 Leon Bernstein. 312 00:25:36,618 --> 00:25:40,663 We don't think horizontal, we think vertical. 313 00:25:40,664 --> 00:25:42,373 We stand straight in life. 314 00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:45,334 We don't think in hours and in seconds, it's "neutral." 315 00:25:45,335 --> 00:25:48,587 The snake, Adam and Eve, I don't buy it anymore. 316 00:25:48,588 --> 00:25:50,047 A snake is nice. 317 00:25:50,048 --> 00:25:52,800 An apple's good, it contains pectin. 318 00:25:52,801 --> 00:25:55,135 It's good for cholesterol. 319 00:25:55,136 --> 00:25:57,304 Can an apple hurt a woman? 320 00:25:57,305 --> 00:25:59,848 Some people failed, 321 00:25:59,849 --> 00:26:03,352 because they're not "aware." 322 00:26:03,353 --> 00:26:07,523 They don't acknowledge that they exist. 323 00:26:07,524 --> 00:26:09,525 Poor things, they don't know. 324 00:26:09,526 --> 00:26:11,986 So I'm "aware," I'm awake. 325 00:26:11,987 --> 00:26:13,362 What's "aware"? 326 00:26:13,363 --> 00:26:16,240 You wake up, wondering what you're doing ... 327 00:26:16,241 --> 00:26:18,701 No, it's fine. 328 00:26:18,702 --> 00:26:22,454 Dolphins use wavelengths too, they're smart in the sea. 329 00:26:22,455 --> 00:26:24,206 We live in the earth. 330 00:26:24,207 --> 00:26:31,213 They communicate, since they don't blah-blah-blah ... 331 00:32:18,227 --> 00:32:20,312 Hey, I'm a great fan of yours! 332 00:32:20,313 --> 00:32:22,898 - How are you? - Fine, and you? 333 00:32:22,899 --> 00:32:24,441 What's this, "Lost in Schaerbeek"? 334 00:32:24,442 --> 00:32:25,776 Going to the post office. 335 00:32:25,777 --> 00:32:27,945 A quick snap for the store? 336 00:32:27,946 --> 00:32:30,072 Thanks, sir! Look, it's Van Damme! 337 00:32:30,073 --> 00:32:32,991 Don't "hello" him, take the picture first. 338 00:32:42,043 --> 00:32:43,126 Thanks, guys. 339 00:32:43,127 --> 00:32:45,671 Wait, my grandma adores you, too! 340 00:32:45,672 --> 00:32:47,756 I'll be back in five minutes. 341 00:33:40,601 --> 00:33:43,854 Name's Van Damme. How's it going? 342 00:33:43,855 --> 00:33:45,230 Hello. 343 00:33:45,231 --> 00:33:47,315 Can I come in? I have a — 344 00:33:47,316 --> 00:33:49,985 No, no, you can't, we're closed. 345 00:33:49,986 --> 00:33:51,445 - Closed? - Yes. 346 00:33:51,446 --> 00:33:53,864 But it's not six yet. 347 00:33:54,907 --> 00:33:59,202 Please, it's very important. I'm expecting a transfer. 348 00:33:59,203 --> 00:34:01,955 Yes, but we can't ... 349 00:34:01,956 --> 00:34:03,415 No, seriously! 350 00:34:03,416 --> 00:34:04,750 A computer problem. 351 00:34:04,751 --> 00:34:07,419 Seriously? This can't be. 352 00:34:07,420 --> 00:34:09,421 No, it's important, I have to ... 353 00:34:09,422 --> 00:34:10,922 Tomorrow, we'll let you in. 354 00:34:10,923 --> 00:34:15,093 No, I need to go in today. Listen, it's very important. 355 00:34:15,094 --> 00:34:19,723 I need this money for my family here, you understand? 356 00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:21,641 Let me speak to the boss. 357 00:34:21,642 --> 00:34:25,145 - Quickly, then. - It'll take a sec, thanks. 358 00:34:40,078 --> 00:34:43,246 Hello, ma'am, how are you? 359 00:34:43,247 --> 00:34:45,290 I'm here for a transfer. 360 00:34:45,291 --> 00:34:48,043 The name's Jean-Claude Van Varenberg. 361 00:34:48,044 --> 00:34:51,004 Not my stage name, Van Damme. 362 00:34:51,964 --> 00:34:55,008 I'm sorry, but we're out of cash today. 363 00:34:55,009 --> 00:34:57,302 I told you, Mr. Van Damme. 364 00:34:57,303 --> 00:35:00,055 No, you told me it was a computer problem. 365 00:35:00,056 --> 00:35:03,225 Is it a cash or a computer problem? 366 00:35:03,226 --> 00:35:05,143 You pick. 367 00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:09,856 Listen, please, give me my money. 368 00:35:09,857 --> 00:35:13,110 I have no money, my credit cards don't work. 369 00:35:13,111 --> 00:35:15,403 Nothing works. 370 00:35:15,404 --> 00:35:18,156 We're out of cash. 371 00:35:18,157 --> 00:35:19,741 It's impossible. 372 00:35:19,742 --> 00:35:22,285 This is a bank! It's only 11, noon? 373 00:35:22,286 --> 00:35:25,789 I'm broke, I have no money, and my cards don't work! 374 00:35:25,790 --> 00:35:27,207 C'mon, sir. 375 00:35:27,208 --> 00:35:30,210 Wait, what's your name? 376 00:35:30,211 --> 00:35:31,253 Arthur. 377 00:35:31,254 --> 00:35:33,922 Listen, I haven't slept in two days, 378 00:35:33,923 --> 00:35:37,050 jet lag, the Los Angeles court, 379 00:35:37,051 --> 00:35:38,927 the planes, a toy store, 380 00:35:38,928 --> 00:35:43,140 my mom on the phone, the cab, the tip — 381 00:35:43,141 --> 00:35:44,933 Wait, I have an idea. 382 00:35:44,934 --> 00:35:47,060 I have a solution. 383 00:35:47,061 --> 00:35:49,062 Then, collect some money. 384 00:35:49,063 --> 00:35:51,857 I'm a good client here, I'm pretty loaded. 385 00:35:51,858 --> 00:35:56,319 Why don't you ask people here for $700 or even $650? 386 00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:59,573 And tomorrow take it out of my bank account. 387 00:36:00,658 --> 00:36:02,450 But I can't. 388 00:36:03,870 --> 00:36:07,205 - You don't give a shit, huh? - No, I just can't. 389 00:36:10,209 --> 00:36:13,336 I want my fucking money! 390 00:36:13,337 --> 00:36:16,214 I'm sick of this, I want my money! 391 00:36:16,215 --> 00:36:18,175 It's like this since yesterday! 392 00:36:18,176 --> 00:36:21,636 I have no cash on me, Van Damme without cash! 393 00:36:21,637 --> 00:36:23,013 Gimme a loan. 394 00:36:23,014 --> 00:36:26,308 Hey, I haven't slept. I got on a plane ... 395 00:36:26,309 --> 00:36:30,353 I just got back from a child-custody thing. 396 00:36:31,063 --> 00:36:33,398 Look, I'm exhausted, guys. Help me out here. 397 00:36:33,399 --> 00:36:36,568 First the cab, then the toys ... 398 00:36:36,569 --> 00:36:38,403 Please, help me! 399 00:36:38,404 --> 00:36:41,573 - Okay, c'mon now. - What? Where? 400 00:36:46,078 --> 00:36:49,831 Camera? 401 00:36:49,832 --> 00:36:51,541 Is this candid camera? 402 00:36:51,542 --> 00:36:54,127 Sorry, guys, sorry. 403 00:36:54,128 --> 00:36:58,006 Listen, I've had a bad day, I haven't slept in two days. 404 00:36:58,007 --> 00:37:00,884 Cut this one, it's a "bad take." 405 00:37:02,637 --> 00:37:04,221 Put him with the others! 406 00:37:04,222 --> 00:37:08,183 Are you nuts? It's Jean-Claude Van Damme! 407 00:37:08,184 --> 00:37:11,686 C'mon, get up now! 408 00:37:11,687 --> 00:37:13,813 I said, get up! Faster! 409 00:37:13,814 --> 00:37:17,067 Faster! Move faster! 410 00:37:25,284 --> 00:37:27,702 Come and sit over here. 411 00:37:31,290 --> 00:37:33,959 Shit, what did he do to you? 412 00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:36,211 Breathe, breathe, Jean-Claude. 413 00:37:42,426 --> 00:37:45,971 Wow! How do you develop your triceps? 414 00:37:45,972 --> 00:37:47,097 I can't. 415 00:37:47,098 --> 00:37:48,265 Watch out! 416 00:38:07,868 --> 00:38:09,995 Get up! Get up! 417 00:38:09,996 --> 00:38:12,414 The curtain! 418 00:38:12,415 --> 00:38:14,833 - What? - The curtain! 419 00:38:14,834 --> 00:38:18,003 Don't move! Shut up! Lower your arms! 420 00:38:21,215 --> 00:38:24,009 You, too, shut up! Lower your arms! 421 00:38:26,554 --> 00:38:28,555 Gimme a hand here! 422 00:38:28,556 --> 00:38:31,516 Gimme a hand, come! 423 00:38:36,814 --> 00:38:38,398 What's going on? 424 00:38:38,399 --> 00:38:41,151 Don't stay here! Get lost! 425 00:38:45,031 --> 00:38:47,073 Open up! 426 00:38:50,870 --> 00:38:54,289 What's going on? 427 00:38:54,290 --> 00:38:56,791 Open up! 428 00:38:56,792 --> 00:38:58,209 Look down. 429 00:38:58,210 --> 00:39:00,211 You, too, look down. 430 00:39:00,212 --> 00:39:01,880 What are you looking at? 431 00:39:01,881 --> 00:39:03,923 Look over there! 432 00:39:06,302 --> 00:39:07,761 Open up! 433 00:39:40,795 --> 00:39:42,587 What are you doing? 434 00:40:01,607 --> 00:40:02,857 Are you crazy? 435 00:40:02,858 --> 00:40:04,150 He was coming in. 436 00:40:04,151 --> 00:40:06,361 How are we gonna get out now? 437 00:40:06,362 --> 00:40:07,404 He's gonna call backup. 438 00:40:07,405 --> 00:40:09,447 Maybe, but I'm not turning myself in. 439 00:40:09,448 --> 00:40:11,408 I'm not in Belgium to be jailbait. 440 00:40:11,409 --> 00:40:13,243 Watch it! 441 00:40:15,287 --> 00:40:17,163 Don't do that again. 442 00:40:17,164 --> 00:40:20,792 I just wanted to see how he was doing. 443 00:40:20,793 --> 00:40:25,046 - Shit, I almost shot him. - Okay, sit down. 444 00:40:27,925 --> 00:40:31,052 Robbing a bank in Belgium can't be that hard. 445 00:40:31,053 --> 00:40:34,055 Shit, what are we gonna do now? 446 00:40:34,056 --> 00:40:38,017 Leave now, while you still can. 447 00:40:38,018 --> 00:40:40,228 - He's right. - Shut up! 448 00:40:41,439 --> 00:40:42,814 Turn yourselves in. 449 00:40:42,815 --> 00:40:46,609 In any case, we all saw the gunshot was an accident. 450 00:40:46,610 --> 00:40:50,613 If I want some stretching tips, I'll call you. 451 00:40:50,614 --> 00:40:51,990 Well done. 452 00:40:51,991 --> 00:40:54,159 You can insult me all you want, 453 00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:56,035 or even hit a hostage, 454 00:40:56,036 --> 00:40:58,538 but I'm not turning myself in. 455 00:40:58,539 --> 00:41:00,665 We gotta block the exits. 456 00:41:00,666 --> 00:41:03,501 Keep an eye on them and cut the crap. 457 00:41:03,502 --> 00:41:06,880 You're saying that a man broke in, 458 00:41:06,881 --> 00:41:10,049 and then you say he got in with a key. 459 00:41:10,050 --> 00:41:13,011 We gotta be clear on this one, 460 00:41:13,012 --> 00:41:16,973 otherwise, it'll be a false statement. 461 00:41:16,974 --> 00:41:20,643 If you say he was drunk, I won't know for sure ,,, 462 00:41:20,644 --> 00:41:23,646 until the alcohol test has been done. 463 00:41:23,647 --> 00:41:25,523 It's as simple as that. 464 00:41:25,524 --> 00:41:27,650 Boss, guess who's robbing the post office? 465 00:41:27,651 --> 00:41:29,486 Who? 466 00:41:29,487 --> 00:41:32,780 I liked how you pressured the hostages earlier. 467 00:41:32,781 --> 00:41:34,741 It wasn't for them. 468 00:41:34,742 --> 00:41:36,951 You heard "Karate Kid," if we cooperate — 469 00:41:36,952 --> 00:41:39,037 Listen up, brainiac. 470 00:41:39,038 --> 00:41:41,456 Who said it was a perfect plan, 471 00:41:41,457 --> 00:41:43,541 that post offices are like the Red Cross, 472 00:41:43,542 --> 00:41:45,627 and that we'd catch the 12:43 train? 473 00:41:45,628 --> 00:41:46,794 But the moron — 474 00:41:46,795 --> 00:41:49,297 The moron's your pal, not mine. 475 00:41:49,298 --> 00:41:51,925 So if you wanna be the boss ... 476 00:42:07,858 --> 00:42:11,069 If you wanna be the boss and keep giving orders, 477 00:42:11,070 --> 00:42:13,404 you'd better start growing some balls otherwise, 478 00:42:13,405 --> 00:42:14,822 I'm taking over. 479 00:42:14,823 --> 00:42:17,617 And I don't mind getting my hands dirty. 480 00:42:29,296 --> 00:42:30,922 Commissioner, please. 481 00:42:30,923 --> 00:42:33,132 Hey, it's Commissioner Bruges! 482 00:42:33,133 --> 00:42:35,260 Is Van Damme the perp? 483 00:42:35,261 --> 00:42:37,095 Wait. No declaration yet. 484 00:42:37,096 --> 00:42:39,472 Has anyone been shot? 485 00:42:39,473 --> 00:42:42,850 How many hostages are held inside? 486 00:42:46,146 --> 00:42:48,356 - Enough. - What's your plan? 487 00:42:48,357 --> 00:42:50,567 No, please! Get him outta here! 488 00:42:54,780 --> 00:42:56,573 Be careful with the seats. 489 00:42:58,534 --> 00:43:02,662 Careful! You know how much I can sell it for on eBay? 490 00:43:11,380 --> 00:43:14,299 No, nothing's moving. 491 00:43:14,300 --> 00:43:16,676 Can he turn that off? 492 00:43:16,677 --> 00:43:19,596 - The whining thing? - The nerves. 493 00:43:23,225 --> 00:43:25,351 - Is that him? - Yes. 494 00:43:25,352 --> 00:43:27,186 Did he dye his hair? 495 00:43:42,661 --> 00:43:44,621 He's in shock. 496 00:43:44,622 --> 00:43:47,332 - What? - He's still in shock. 497 00:43:47,333 --> 00:43:50,043 Once in the film Hard Target, 498 00:43:50,044 --> 00:43:52,503 I took a shot from a blank. 499 00:43:52,504 --> 00:43:55,048 It took salts to reanimate me. 500 00:43:55,049 --> 00:43:57,884 Hard Target, John Woo. 501 00:43:57,885 --> 00:44:00,261 - What an ass. - Don't say that. 502 00:44:00,262 --> 00:44:03,014 C'mon, Jean-Claude, wait a sec. 503 00:44:03,015 --> 00:44:05,308 He's the one who brought him to the U.S. 504 00:44:05,309 --> 00:44:06,684 Without him, 505 00:44:06,685 --> 00:44:09,270 he'd still be filming pigeons in Hong Kong. 506 00:44:09,271 --> 00:44:12,815 And then what? He drops you. 507 00:44:12,816 --> 00:44:15,109 At least he did Face Off. 508 00:44:15,110 --> 00:44:18,404 So what? He could have picked you! 509 00:44:18,405 --> 00:44:21,032 On the other hand, when you see Windtalkers, 510 00:44:21,033 --> 00:44:23,951 there's a justice. 511 00:44:23,952 --> 00:44:25,953 Got any new projects? 512 00:44:25,954 --> 00:44:27,914 Not for now. 513 00:44:27,915 --> 00:44:30,833 I saw a thing on the web, what's it called? 514 00:44:30,834 --> 00:44:34,754 Purple, Purple Amulet. 515 00:44:36,674 --> 00:44:37,924 What about that? 516 00:44:37,925 --> 00:44:40,259 - Steven Seagal got the part. - What? 517 00:44:40,260 --> 00:44:41,594 He got the part. 518 00:44:41,595 --> 00:44:42,887 Steven Seagal? 519 00:44:42,888 --> 00:44:44,847 You're ten times better. 520 00:44:47,267 --> 00:44:49,560 Well, he cut off his couette. 521 00:44:49,561 --> 00:44:51,145 His what? 522 00:44:51,146 --> 00:44:53,648 His couette. 523 00:44:53,649 --> 00:44:56,317 His ponytail. 524 00:44:56,318 --> 00:44:57,860 For the first time. 525 00:44:57,861 --> 00:45:00,738 Oh, I see ... That's a tough one. 526 00:45:02,574 --> 00:45:05,660 Hey, you! what's that? What are you doing? 527 00:45:05,661 --> 00:45:07,203 - Me? - Yeah, you. 528 00:45:07,204 --> 00:45:08,830 - Hey! - He coughed. 529 00:45:08,831 --> 00:45:10,832 No! You're disturbing us. 530 00:45:10,833 --> 00:45:12,291 I think he just coughed. 531 00:45:12,292 --> 00:45:14,377 - He coughed. - Think I'm funny? 532 00:45:14,378 --> 00:45:16,462 - No. - You think I'm funny? 533 00:45:16,463 --> 00:45:18,089 No. 534 00:45:18,090 --> 00:45:20,508 - Oh, is he funny? - No. 535 00:45:20,509 --> 00:45:23,594 So, I see, it's the "aware" thing, is that it? 536 00:45:23,595 --> 00:45:25,680 - Who are you? - Drop it. 537 00:45:25,681 --> 00:45:28,683 No, wait! Who do you think you are? 538 00:45:28,684 --> 00:45:32,019 You're 40 and still wearing sweatshirts? 539 00:45:32,020 --> 00:45:33,187 Yeah. 540 00:45:33,188 --> 00:45:35,273 Who do you think you are? 541 00:45:35,274 --> 00:45:38,526 No, no, no! Shut up, okay? 542 00:45:38,527 --> 00:45:41,028 He's tired, you know. Drop it. 543 00:45:41,029 --> 00:45:42,321 - Tired? - Yeah. 544 00:45:42,322 --> 00:45:44,866 I'm not tired, are you? No, you're not. 545 00:45:44,867 --> 00:45:48,911 So shut up. 546 00:45:48,912 --> 00:45:52,165 Get up. Yeah, get up, now! 547 00:45:55,335 --> 00:45:57,795 - Got a smoke? - I don't smoke. 548 00:45:59,256 --> 00:46:01,048 Does anyone have a smoke? 549 00:46:26,325 --> 00:46:29,368 - So? - It's ringing, but no answer. 550 00:46:29,369 --> 00:46:31,370 - No one? - Nope. 551 00:46:31,371 --> 00:46:33,080 Forget it then. 552 00:46:33,081 --> 00:46:37,335 Go get me a screamo-phone, like they use in the movies. 553 00:46:37,336 --> 00:46:39,879 To shout at the public. 554 00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:42,089 The day had started out fine. 555 00:46:42,090 --> 00:46:45,301 But now I'm exhausted, I'm fed up, I got scared. 556 00:46:45,302 --> 00:46:47,929 - Sir, let's stop ... - Do I know you? 557 00:46:47,930 --> 00:46:49,388 I'm Commissioner Bruges. 558 00:46:49,389 --> 00:46:52,141 Sir, I'm freaking out! 559 00:46:52,142 --> 00:46:53,976 There's been a hold-up ... 560 00:46:53,977 --> 00:46:55,812 across the street — 561 00:46:55,813 --> 00:46:57,814 But look at my cab! 562 00:46:57,815 --> 00:47:01,984 That's what I'm saying, let's proceed step by step. 563 00:47:01,985 --> 00:47:03,486 Look at my cab! 564 00:47:03,487 --> 00:47:04,946 A few questions first. 565 00:47:04,947 --> 00:47:07,406 I picked him up at the airport. 566 00:47:07,407 --> 00:47:11,035 Did he have any luggage, ma'am? 567 00:47:11,870 --> 00:47:13,204 Man, I can't. 568 00:47:13,205 --> 00:47:15,665 Please! Only once! 569 00:47:15,666 --> 00:47:18,251 I don't want to. 570 00:47:18,252 --> 00:47:20,878 Open your mouth. 571 00:47:20,879 --> 00:47:23,214 Be cool, just once. 572 00:47:23,215 --> 00:47:24,757 I'm exhausted. 573 00:47:24,758 --> 00:47:27,593 Do me a favor! I might never see you again. 574 00:47:27,594 --> 00:47:32,014 Show me the move, just once, please! Go ahead! 575 00:47:32,015 --> 00:47:34,267 Please, Jean-Claude. 576 00:47:49,074 --> 00:47:51,242 Let's all applaud! 577 00:47:56,290 --> 00:47:58,207 Nice, Jean-Claude. 578 00:47:58,208 --> 00:48:01,294 Told you he was the best! Where are you going? 579 00:48:01,295 --> 00:48:03,838 Who told you to move? Get back there. 580 00:48:03,839 --> 00:48:06,883 Faster! 581 00:48:06,884 --> 00:48:08,968 Where's my ciggy? 582 00:48:13,098 --> 00:48:14,640 Open your mouth. 583 00:48:28,780 --> 00:48:30,615 Move back a bit. 584 00:48:30,616 --> 00:48:32,325 A bit lower. 585 00:48:36,496 --> 00:48:38,247 - Jean-Claude? - Yeah? 586 00:48:38,248 --> 00:48:40,666 - It's been years. - So don't do it. 587 00:48:40,667 --> 00:48:42,335 Just once! 588 00:48:52,095 --> 00:48:55,556 He shows up and says, "Go!" So off I went with him. 589 00:48:55,557 --> 00:48:56,724 He said that? 590 00:48:56,725 --> 00:48:58,601 Yes, sir. 591 00:48:58,602 --> 00:49:01,687 I did what he told me to, he's a big star! 592 00:49:06,443 --> 00:49:08,861 - What's this? - I just fell! 593 00:49:08,862 --> 00:49:10,696 And what are you doing? 594 00:49:10,697 --> 00:49:12,490 Come here now! 595 00:49:13,825 --> 00:49:16,661 - He needs a doc. - Are you a nurse? 596 00:49:16,662 --> 00:49:18,871 Mr. Van Damme. 597 00:49:18,872 --> 00:49:20,289 This is ... 598 00:49:20,290 --> 00:49:23,209 Commissioner Bruges, pick up the phone ... 599 00:49:23,210 --> 00:49:25,294 so we can talk. 600 00:49:25,295 --> 00:49:27,088 Is this a joke? 601 00:49:27,089 --> 00:49:29,090 No, Jean-Claude. 602 00:49:29,091 --> 00:49:31,258 They saw you with the cabinet. 603 00:49:31,259 --> 00:49:33,260 Moving a cabinet is robbing a bank? 604 00:49:33,261 --> 00:49:35,763 Shut up! 605 00:49:35,764 --> 00:49:39,642 If you need anything, pick up the phone. 606 00:49:39,643 --> 00:49:42,895 I'm your contact. 607 00:49:42,896 --> 00:49:45,022 Bruges. 608 00:49:47,651 --> 00:49:50,820 Here's our ticket out. 609 00:49:50,821 --> 00:49:52,697 I have enough problems ... 610 00:49:52,698 --> 00:49:54,949 I said, shut up! 611 00:49:57,911 --> 00:49:59,286 Go ahead, big shot. 612 00:50:08,797 --> 00:50:11,549 Are we having fun here? 613 00:50:14,302 --> 00:50:15,803 Can't believe it! 614 00:50:26,023 --> 00:50:28,315 - You read English? - Yes. 615 00:50:39,369 --> 00:50:44,373 If you tell them, you'll have blood on your hands. 616 00:50:44,374 --> 00:50:47,001 - What do I say? - Let them talk. 617 00:50:48,795 --> 00:50:50,004 What's "custody"? 618 00:50:50,005 --> 00:50:51,881 He picked up! 619 00:50:56,470 --> 00:50:58,179 Mr. Van Damme. 620 00:51:00,265 --> 00:51:03,517 Bruges. How's it going inside? 621 00:51:06,063 --> 00:51:08,689 It could be better. 622 00:51:08,690 --> 00:51:12,651 Okay, let me ask you first, is anyone injured? 623 00:51:17,449 --> 00:51:20,409 A man's unconscious and bleeding. 624 00:51:20,410 --> 00:51:23,537 Okay, good. May I call you Jean-Claude? 625 00:51:23,538 --> 00:51:25,664 I'm Commissioner Bruges. 626 00:51:25,665 --> 00:51:28,501 You can call me Christian. 627 00:51:28,502 --> 00:51:31,045 You must release the wounded man. 628 00:51:31,046 --> 00:51:34,632 Neither one of us wants to have blood on our hands. 629 00:51:34,633 --> 00:51:36,175 Of course. 630 00:51:36,176 --> 00:51:37,885 Will you release him? 631 00:51:40,055 --> 00:51:43,224 No, no one leaves. It's impossible. 632 00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:52,483 What if I came with a doctor? 633 00:51:56,279 --> 00:52:00,574 Hey, if there's a murder, it's no longer a robbery. 634 00:52:04,579 --> 00:52:08,207 - And if I come with a doc? - All right, but unarmed. 635 00:52:08,208 --> 00:52:09,875 I give you my word. 636 00:52:09,876 --> 00:52:13,003 Bruges ... 637 00:52:13,004 --> 00:52:16,507 - Whoever walks in is dead. - If a man dies, we're screwed. 638 00:52:16,508 --> 00:52:19,093 Heard me earlier? 639 00:52:19,094 --> 00:52:22,179 Well, they could come naked. 640 00:52:22,180 --> 00:52:24,807 In hostage movies, the bad guys ask the good guys ... 641 00:52:24,808 --> 00:52:29,061 to come in naked, so they know they're clean. 642 00:52:29,062 --> 00:52:31,313 How about naked? 643 00:52:36,820 --> 00:52:38,863 Fine, tell them. 644 00:53:03,847 --> 00:53:05,055 Where's Petruccian? 645 00:53:06,725 --> 00:53:08,559 3. Stone falls on Egg, 646 00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:11,312 Egg breaks. 647 00:53:34,794 --> 00:53:37,338 Sorry, man! Didn't recognize you! 648 00:55:17,522 --> 00:55:20,232 Aren't you Van Damme? 649 00:55:20,233 --> 00:55:23,152 You're Jean-Claude Van Damme, my idol! 650 00:55:23,153 --> 00:55:26,488 Listen ... 651 00:55:26,489 --> 00:55:28,991 I'm really tired and I — 652 00:55:28,992 --> 00:55:32,202 Don't start acting like a big shot, 653 00:55:32,203 --> 00:55:35,247 Mr. Hero of the century! 654 00:55:35,248 --> 00:55:39,626 I can finally talk to you and listen to that tone. 655 00:55:39,627 --> 00:55:43,297 Let me talk to you. You can rest, but let me talk. 656 00:55:43,298 --> 00:55:46,258 Close your eyes, but let me talk to you. 657 00:55:46,259 --> 00:55:49,762 Anyway, when I see you on-screen, 658 00:55:49,763 --> 00:55:52,765 well, you're really different! 659 00:55:52,766 --> 00:55:53,932 Really? 660 00:55:53,933 --> 00:55:56,518 I think you look much better on-screen. 661 00:55:56,519 --> 00:55:59,021 And you're much nicer, too. 662 00:55:59,022 --> 00:56:01,106 I can tell you that. 663 00:56:01,107 --> 00:56:04,651 - No, it's just that — - Even if you're tired. 664 00:56:04,652 --> 00:56:07,071 I like you better on-screen. 665 00:56:07,072 --> 00:56:09,948 - You hurt my feelings. - Oh, c'mon. 666 00:56:09,949 --> 00:56:13,410 I always thought you'd be nicer. 667 00:56:13,411 --> 00:56:17,790 Everyone worships you here in Belgium, you're our star! 668 00:56:17,791 --> 00:56:20,626 You represent us in Hollywood. 669 00:56:20,627 --> 00:56:23,337 Get used to having a driver who talks. 670 00:56:23,338 --> 00:56:24,588 Okay. 671 00:56:24,589 --> 00:56:26,131 - Please! - Sorry. 672 00:56:26,132 --> 00:56:28,050 Yes, sorry, yes. 673 00:56:28,051 --> 00:56:30,260 What's that? 674 00:56:30,261 --> 00:56:33,222 You don't need to show off! 675 00:56:33,223 --> 00:56:35,265 You're doing it on purpose or what? 676 00:56:35,266 --> 00:56:39,144 No, I'm not. 677 00:56:39,145 --> 00:56:41,021 But you're nice. 678 00:56:41,022 --> 00:56:43,315 You, too, but even more on-screen. 679 00:56:43,316 --> 00:56:44,650 It's hot in here. 680 00:56:44,651 --> 00:56:46,944 - Should I open? - No, I'm tired. 681 00:56:46,945 --> 00:56:49,071 Then sleep, but let me talk. 682 00:56:49,072 --> 00:56:51,532 All cab drivers in Brussels talk. 683 00:56:51,533 --> 00:56:57,204 You better get used to it if you come here often. 684 00:56:57,205 --> 00:56:59,498 No, seriously! 685 00:56:59,499 --> 00:57:03,168 Star, star, star. What are we talking about? 686 00:57:03,169 --> 00:57:06,630 I surely didn't expect this kind of attitude! 687 00:57:06,631 --> 00:57:10,384 Ma'am, I didn't mean to ... sorry. 688 00:57:10,385 --> 00:57:13,387 Well, you hurt me anyway. 689 00:57:13,388 --> 00:57:15,305 You don't realize, you're my idol! 690 00:57:15,306 --> 00:57:16,765 I'm sorry. 691 00:57:16,766 --> 00:57:18,350 I saw all your films. 692 00:57:18,351 --> 00:57:21,645 How can you be so rude? 693 00:57:21,646 --> 00:57:24,606 I'm sorry, I'm tired. 694 00:57:24,607 --> 00:57:26,984 I still want a picture with you. 695 00:57:26,985 --> 00:57:28,318 I promise. 696 00:57:28,319 --> 00:57:29,862 - Promise? - Yes, ma'am. 697 00:57:29,863 --> 00:57:32,156 - And you'll sign it? - Yes, ma'am. 698 00:57:32,157 --> 00:57:34,533 - It's for my son. - Yes, ma'am. 699 00:57:34,534 --> 00:57:37,161 Jean-Claude! 700 00:58:01,853 --> 00:58:04,188 It's been over an hour and a half now ... 701 00:58:04,189 --> 00:58:05,898 since Van Damme has taken refuge ... 702 00:58:05,899 --> 00:58:09,318 in the Schaerbeek downtown post office. 703 00:58:11,029 --> 00:58:14,198 She looks better on TV. 704 00:58:14,199 --> 00:58:16,867 We can't really say what happened. 705 00:58:16,868 --> 00:58:19,745 After using a gun several times, 706 00:58:19,746 --> 00:58:21,747 an anonymous source says ... 707 00:58:21,748 --> 00:58:25,501 So tell the source to stay anonymous. 708 00:58:25,502 --> 00:58:29,254 If anyone blabs, you'll hear from me! 709 00:58:29,255 --> 00:58:31,757 Yes, chief. 710 00:58:31,758 --> 00:58:35,385 Thank you, chief. Call him back. 711 00:58:38,056 --> 00:58:41,892 No, he was here and there were three people there. 712 00:58:41,893 --> 00:58:45,437 Okay, the Prefect authorized the transfer. It's an order. 713 00:58:45,438 --> 00:58:46,980 And the ransom? 714 00:58:46,981 --> 00:58:49,775 - That'll have to calm him down. - I've seen worse. 715 00:58:49,776 --> 00:58:51,360 There's no attack. 716 00:58:51,361 --> 00:58:53,403 With a kid inside, I'm not budging. 717 00:58:55,990 --> 00:58:57,741 He picked up! 718 00:59:01,246 --> 00:59:02,579 Good news. 719 00:59:02,580 --> 00:59:05,165 - The transfer's authorized. - Did it go through? 720 00:59:05,166 --> 00:59:06,625 It will ... 721 00:59:06,626 --> 00:59:08,126 If you cooperate. 722 00:59:08,127 --> 00:59:11,672 Sorry, but it's a two-way street. 723 00:59:11,673 --> 00:59:13,173 And the money? 724 00:59:13,174 --> 00:59:16,635 Same thing, it'll take a bit longer. 725 00:59:16,636 --> 00:59:18,887 You're gonna have to cooperate. 726 00:59:18,888 --> 00:59:20,347 It's ... 727 00:59:20,348 --> 00:59:21,807 What do you want? 728 00:59:21,808 --> 00:59:24,101 The kid. Let him go. 729 00:59:28,439 --> 00:59:31,191 I'll call you back. 730 00:59:31,192 --> 00:59:35,904 The crowd's agitated. Something's going on over there. 731 00:59:35,905 --> 00:59:37,322 What's the commotion? 732 00:59:37,323 --> 00:59:40,409 Let's go. Despite all this confusion, 733 00:59:40,410 --> 00:59:42,661 a car is trying to get through. 734 00:59:43,663 --> 00:59:45,747 - Who is it? - What? 735 00:59:45,748 --> 00:59:48,041 - Who is it? - The Van Varenbergs. 736 00:59:48,042 --> 00:59:49,835 - Who? - Van Damme's parents. 737 00:59:49,836 --> 00:59:51,753 Why don't you escort them? 738 00:59:54,215 --> 00:59:58,218 Please! Please! 739 00:59:58,219 --> 01:00:01,179 Mrs. Van Damme! Your son ... 740 01:00:01,180 --> 01:00:03,098 My son's a good man! 741 01:00:03,099 --> 01:00:04,600 No comment! 742 01:00:04,601 --> 01:00:08,145 What do you think you're doing? Trying to screw me? 743 01:00:08,146 --> 01:00:11,231 - You're nuts or what? - Say you wanna screw me. 744 01:00:11,232 --> 01:00:13,775 - I'm not saying that. - The kid stays. 745 01:00:13,776 --> 01:00:16,820 - They gave in. - Shut up. It's our only vest. 746 01:00:16,821 --> 01:00:18,447 He's right. They gave in. 747 01:00:18,448 --> 01:00:20,490 Hey, who's doing the hold-up? 748 01:00:20,491 --> 01:00:23,076 They gave in to him. No hostage is leaving. 749 01:00:23,077 --> 01:00:25,078 Get back, I told you! 750 01:00:25,079 --> 01:00:26,872 For the second time, don't move! 751 01:00:26,873 --> 01:00:29,458 - Watch your tone. - I do as I please. 752 01:00:29,459 --> 01:00:32,294 - Get on back! - Shut up, you heard me. 753 01:00:32,295 --> 01:00:34,379 - Lower your gun. - Calm down! 754 01:00:34,380 --> 01:00:35,589 You lower yours first. 755 01:00:35,590 --> 01:00:38,425 - Go on back. - Shut up and lower your gun. 756 01:00:38,426 --> 01:00:40,469 - Go on back. - I'm going now. 757 01:00:40,470 --> 01:00:42,512 They'll break negotiations. 758 01:00:42,513 --> 01:00:45,140 And I'll break your neck. 759 01:00:47,560 --> 01:00:50,145 If it's not the kid, get a hostage go. 760 01:00:50,146 --> 01:00:53,482 Just don't shoot, man. 761 01:00:53,483 --> 01:00:55,651 Don't shoot. 762 01:00:55,652 --> 01:00:57,361 Stop it. 763 01:00:57,362 --> 01:01:00,572 He's right. 764 01:01:00,573 --> 01:01:03,325 If we let one go, he's gonna talk. 765 01:01:03,326 --> 01:01:05,952 Not the one I'm thinking of. 766 01:01:47,745 --> 01:01:49,371 Tell them we'll release one. 767 01:01:49,372 --> 01:01:51,123 Your maniac son already hurt someone. 768 01:01:51,124 --> 01:01:53,959 Maniac? 769 01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:55,877 He's Jean-Claude. 770 01:01:55,878 --> 01:01:57,754 He's Camille. 771 01:01:57,755 --> 01:01:59,423 He's Francois. 772 01:01:59,424 --> 01:02:02,426 He's Van Damme or Van Varenberg! 773 01:02:02,427 --> 01:02:05,345 But he's not a maniac! 774 01:02:09,392 --> 01:02:11,059 Get outta here. 775 01:02:14,439 --> 01:02:16,481 He's on the line, boss. 776 01:02:19,110 --> 01:02:23,113 Gotta do something for the kid. 777 01:02:23,114 --> 01:02:26,283 Help me convince your son to let him go. 778 01:02:33,875 --> 01:02:38,920 Okay for a hostage, but not for the kid. 779 01:02:38,921 --> 01:02:41,923 Someone wants to talk to you. 780 01:02:46,554 --> 01:02:49,514 Honey? 781 01:02:49,515 --> 01:02:53,268 Mom? 782 01:02:53,269 --> 01:02:56,813 What are you doing, son? 783 01:02:56,814 --> 01:02:58,940 Nothing. 784 01:02:58,941 --> 01:03:01,401 Nothing! 785 01:03:01,402 --> 01:03:03,987 Please talk to me, dear. 786 01:03:03,988 --> 01:03:06,823 Nothing, Mom. 787 01:03:06,824 --> 01:03:08,450 Mom, give me the — 788 01:03:08,451 --> 01:03:10,952 Son of a bitch! 789 01:03:10,953 --> 01:03:13,371 Get my lawyer on the phone. 790 01:03:13,372 --> 01:03:15,540 Tell them I'm releasing a hostage. 791 01:03:15,541 --> 01:03:17,959 Don't cry, Mom. 792 01:03:21,923 --> 01:03:23,340 Hurry up! 793 01:03:27,845 --> 01:03:29,721 Take them away. 794 01:03:38,815 --> 01:03:41,024 It was my mother. 795 01:03:41,025 --> 01:03:44,361 I don't give a shit about your mother. 796 01:03:44,362 --> 01:03:46,863 Wanna hear about mine? 797 01:03:46,864 --> 01:03:49,533 - Last time I saw her ... - What? 798 01:03:49,534 --> 01:03:51,701 ... was when I was born. 799 01:03:53,913 --> 01:03:56,623 He tries to screw me, then he makes me cry. 800 01:03:56,624 --> 01:03:59,751 You come with me. 801 01:03:59,752 --> 01:04:02,337 - Why? - 'Cause you're getting out. 802 01:04:04,423 --> 01:04:05,632 So let's go. 803 01:04:05,633 --> 01:04:06,842 No, he stays here. 804 01:04:06,843 --> 01:04:08,260 C'mon, mister. 805 01:04:08,261 --> 01:04:11,638 Make the transfer and get me his lawyer. 806 01:04:15,184 --> 01:04:17,352 Rule number one: 807 01:04:17,353 --> 01:04:21,523 It's the maniac that shows good faith. 808 01:04:21,524 --> 01:04:27,571 C'mon. 809 01:04:31,534 --> 01:04:35,120 - Why do I have to go? - Shut up. Come with me. 810 01:04:35,121 --> 01:04:37,205 Why do you want to keep him? 811 01:04:37,206 --> 01:04:39,457 He stays here. You come with me. 812 01:04:39,458 --> 01:04:41,293 Let him go. 813 01:04:41,294 --> 01:04:43,128 Not without me. 814 01:04:43,129 --> 01:04:46,464 Not without my son! 815 01:05:00,229 --> 01:05:02,063 Boss, the lawyer's on the line. 816 01:05:20,374 --> 01:05:23,460 Stand up, up you go! 817 01:05:23,461 --> 01:05:27,339 Let me go! 818 01:05:27,340 --> 01:05:29,883 - You sure are lucky. - So are you. 819 01:05:29,884 --> 01:05:32,719 - With your gun. - You, too, sure are lucky. 820 01:05:32,720 --> 01:05:35,221 You're really lucky. 821 01:05:41,062 --> 01:05:44,022 Let me go! 822 01:05:47,234 --> 01:05:50,528 Damien, I'll be back. Mommy's coming back! 823 01:05:53,824 --> 01:05:55,492 Move. 824 01:06:01,749 --> 01:06:04,834 Move. Get up. 825 01:06:04,835 --> 01:06:07,212 When I say "get up," you get up! 826 01:06:07,213 --> 01:06:09,214 One word and you're dead. 827 01:06:21,602 --> 01:06:23,019 If you open your mouth, 828 01:06:23,020 --> 01:06:25,188 you're gonna find your kid in pieces. 829 01:06:27,191 --> 01:06:30,193 I'll take care of him. 830 01:06:30,194 --> 01:06:34,322 What? You can't even take care of your own kid! 831 01:06:34,323 --> 01:06:35,949 It's all your fault! 832 01:06:35,950 --> 01:06:37,534 They're raising the curtain! 833 01:07:14,113 --> 01:07:16,823 Stand back! 834 01:07:16,824 --> 01:07:20,452 Please, ma'am, I said, stand back. 835 01:07:38,637 --> 01:07:41,681 Over there. 836 01:07:41,682 --> 01:07:44,059 Over there, I said. 837 01:07:47,605 --> 01:07:49,898 Okay, so we put it all in boxes. 838 01:07:49,899 --> 01:07:51,941 I'm gonna keep a Christmas decoration. 839 01:07:51,942 --> 01:07:53,777 I like this one. 840 01:07:53,778 --> 01:07:55,612 It's a little beauty. 841 01:07:55,613 --> 01:08:00,158 This way, we'll remember it's almost Mardi Gras. 842 01:08:00,159 --> 01:08:04,662 Our minds crossed. I took a heart from my tree. 843 01:08:04,663 --> 01:08:07,832 Yeah, and St. Valentine's Day is coming up. 844 01:08:07,833 --> 01:08:10,001 Hooray for love. 845 01:08:10,002 --> 01:08:11,461 Dimitri's so romantic. 846 01:08:11,462 --> 01:08:14,214 It's our 1,500th show today! 847 01:08:22,890 --> 01:08:26,434 This movie is for me. 848 01:08:26,435 --> 01:08:28,812 There we are, you and me. 849 01:08:36,529 --> 01:08:38,905 Why did you do that? 850 01:08:38,906 --> 01:08:42,575 Or why did I do that? 851 01:08:42,576 --> 01:08:44,577 You made my dream come true. 852 01:08:44,578 --> 01:08:46,538 I asked you for it. 853 01:08:46,539 --> 01:08:48,790 I promised you something in return, 854 01:08:48,791 --> 01:08:52,502 and I haven't delivered yet. 855 01:08:52,503 --> 01:08:58,258 You win, I lose. 856 01:08:58,259 --> 01:09:00,593 Unless ... 857 01:09:00,594 --> 01:09:04,139 the path you've set for me ... 858 01:09:04,140 --> 01:09:06,099 is full of hurdles, 859 01:09:06,100 --> 01:09:10,061 where the answer comes before the question. 860 01:09:10,062 --> 01:09:13,356 Yeah, I do that. 861 01:09:13,357 --> 01:09:15,984 Now I know why. 862 01:09:15,985 --> 01:09:20,446 It's the cure, from what I've seen here. 863 01:09:20,447 --> 01:09:23,074 It all makes sense. 864 01:09:23,075 --> 01:09:26,786 It makes sense to those who understand. 865 01:09:28,747 --> 01:09:32,083 So ... America ... 866 01:09:32,084 --> 01:09:34,460 poverty ... 867 01:09:34,461 --> 01:09:37,297 stealing to eat ... 868 01:09:37,298 --> 01:09:42,135 stalking producers, actors, movie stars, 869 01:09:42,136 --> 01:09:45,763 going to clubs hoping to see a star, 870 01:09:45,764 --> 01:09:49,058 with my pictures, karate magazines. 871 01:09:49,059 --> 01:09:52,270 It's all I had. I didn't speak English. 872 01:09:54,481 --> 01:09:57,400 But I did 20 years of karate. 873 01:09:57,401 --> 01:10:00,445 'Cause before I wasn't like that. 874 01:10:00,446 --> 01:10:02,822 This ... this is me today. 875 01:10:02,823 --> 01:10:06,576 I used to be small and scrawny. 876 01:10:06,577 --> 01:10:08,036 And I took up karate. 877 01:10:08,037 --> 01:10:10,038 Hence the Dojo, hence respect. 878 01:10:10,039 --> 01:10:13,666 Thou shall believe people who say, 879 01:10:13,667 --> 01:10:16,336 "Oss!" 880 01:10:16,337 --> 01:10:18,671 It's Samurai code. 881 01:10:18,672 --> 01:10:20,340 It's honor, no lies. 882 01:10:20,341 --> 01:10:22,842 So this guy in the U.S., 883 01:10:22,843 --> 01:10:25,053 it's not the same thing. 884 01:10:25,054 --> 01:10:27,555 No one says "Oss" to you. 885 01:10:27,556 --> 01:10:30,975 Sometimes people in show business ... 886 01:10:34,939 --> 01:10:38,441 I believed in people, in the Dojo. 887 01:10:38,442 --> 01:10:42,987 I was blessed and had a lot of "wives." 888 01:10:42,988 --> 01:10:45,490 I always believed in love. 889 01:10:45,491 --> 01:10:49,494 It's hard for a woman with three kids to say, 890 01:10:49,495 --> 01:10:51,829 "Which one do I love more?" 891 01:10:51,830 --> 01:10:53,998 A mother ... 892 01:10:53,999 --> 01:10:58,169 If you have five, six, seven, or ten wives in a lifetime, 893 01:10:58,170 --> 01:11:01,047 they've all got something special, 894 01:11:01,048 --> 01:11:03,174 but no one cares about that ... 895 01:11:03,175 --> 01:11:06,803 in the so-called media. 896 01:11:08,931 --> 01:11:11,015 What about drugs? 897 01:11:11,016 --> 01:11:14,769 When you got it all, you travel the world. 898 01:11:14,770 --> 01:11:16,646 When you've been in all the hotels, 899 01:11:16,647 --> 01:11:21,776 you're the prima donna of the penthouse. 900 01:11:21,777 --> 01:11:25,530 And in hotels the world over, traveling. 901 01:11:25,531 --> 01:11:29,325 You want something more. 902 01:11:29,326 --> 01:11:31,536 And because of a woman — 903 01:11:31,537 --> 01:11:33,955 Well, because of love, 904 01:11:33,956 --> 01:11:37,292 I tried something and I got hooked. 905 01:11:38,502 --> 01:11:42,088 Van Damme, the beast ... 906 01:11:42,089 --> 01:11:44,007 the tiger in a cage, 907 01:11:44,008 --> 01:11:47,802 the Bloodsport man got hooked. 908 01:11:47,803 --> 01:11:51,806 I was wasted mentally and physically, 909 01:11:51,807 --> 01:11:56,519 to the point that I got out of it. 910 01:12:00,149 --> 01:12:03,192 I got out of it. 911 01:12:03,193 --> 01:12:05,153 But ... 912 01:12:05,154 --> 01:12:11,075 It's all there. 913 01:12:12,786 --> 01:12:15,204 It was really tough. 914 01:12:17,041 --> 01:12:20,251 I saw people worse off than me. 915 01:12:20,252 --> 01:12:22,462 I went from poor to rich and thought, 916 01:12:22,463 --> 01:12:25,048 why aren't we all like me? 917 01:12:25,049 --> 01:12:26,966 Why all the privileges? 918 01:12:26,967 --> 01:12:29,052 I'm just a regular guy. 919 01:12:29,053 --> 01:12:32,680 It makes me sick to see people ... 920 01:12:32,681 --> 01:12:34,807 who don't have what I've got. 921 01:12:34,808 --> 01:12:36,934 Knowing that ... 922 01:12:36,935 --> 01:12:40,396 they have qualities, too. 923 01:12:40,397 --> 01:12:43,399 Much more than I do! 924 01:12:43,400 --> 01:12:46,778 It's not my fault if I was cut out to be a star. 925 01:12:46,779 --> 01:12:48,488 I asked for it. 926 01:12:48,489 --> 01:12:50,698 I asked for it, really believed in it. 927 01:12:50,699 --> 01:12:53,534 When you're 13, you believe in your dream. 928 01:12:53,535 --> 01:12:55,495 Well, it came true for me. 929 01:12:55,496 --> 01:12:58,498 But I still ask myself today ... 930 01:12:58,499 --> 01:13:01,501 what I've done on this earth. 931 01:13:01,502 --> 01:13:03,503 Nothing! 932 01:13:03,504 --> 01:13:05,671 I've done nothing! 933 01:13:07,841 --> 01:13:13,137 And I might just die in this post office ... 934 01:13:13,138 --> 01:13:17,266 hoping to start all over here in Belgium, 935 01:13:17,267 --> 01:13:21,104 in my country, where my roots are. 936 01:13:21,105 --> 01:13:26,109 Start all over with my parents and get my heath back, 937 01:13:26,110 --> 01:13:29,445 pick up again. So I really hope ... 938 01:13:29,446 --> 01:13:34,909 nobody's gonna pull a trigger in this post office. 939 01:13:34,910 --> 01:13:39,914 It's so stupid to kill people. They're so beautiful. 940 01:13:39,915 --> 01:13:45,128 So today, I pray to God. 941 01:13:45,129 --> 01:13:47,380 I truly believe ... 942 01:13:47,381 --> 01:13:49,465 it's not a movie. 943 01:13:49,466 --> 01:13:53,636 It's real life. 944 01:13:53,637 --> 01:13:55,596 Real life. 945 01:14:00,436 --> 01:14:03,938 I've seen so many things. 946 01:14:03,939 --> 01:14:06,149 I was born in Belgium, 947 01:14:06,150 --> 01:14:08,693 but I'm a citizen of the world. 948 01:14:08,694 --> 01:14:11,487 I've traveled a lot. 949 01:14:11,488 --> 01:14:14,991 It's hard for me to judge people, 950 01:14:14,992 --> 01:14:17,910 and it's hard for them ... 951 01:14:20,289 --> 01:14:22,999 not to judge me. 952 01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:25,710 Easier to blame me. 953 01:14:27,087 --> 01:14:30,173 Yeah, something like that. 954 01:14:42,311 --> 01:14:43,686 Dimitri's so romantic. 955 01:14:43,687 --> 01:14:45,688 It's our 1,500th show today! 956 01:14:45,689 --> 01:14:48,274 And I'm giving out rare items, 957 01:14:48,275 --> 01:14:51,903 like the red wig "Veronique et Sebastien" never wore. 958 01:14:51,904 --> 01:14:53,446 We don't know why! 959 01:14:53,447 --> 01:14:58,159 It's the hat full of ideas for reportages. 960 01:14:58,160 --> 01:15:01,996 Say, Arthur? 961 01:15:01,997 --> 01:15:05,082 - That's your name, right? - Yeah. 962 01:15:07,419 --> 01:15:10,671 We've gotta free the hostages. 963 01:15:10,672 --> 01:15:12,465 I can't do that, Jean-Claude. 964 01:15:12,466 --> 01:15:16,469 Yes, you can. It's easy. 965 01:15:16,470 --> 01:15:18,095 We just go there, 966 01:15:18,096 --> 01:15:20,806 raise the curtain, 967 01:15:20,807 --> 01:15:22,808 and split! 968 01:15:24,186 --> 01:15:26,687 4. Egg falls on Stone, 969 01:15:26,688 --> 01:15:29,106 Egg breaks. 970 01:15:29,399 --> 01:15:32,193 Seven hostages left. How are we gonna hold out? 971 01:15:32,194 --> 01:15:33,778 It's okay, we need time. 972 01:15:33,779 --> 01:15:35,571 Wait for what, what's the plan? 973 01:15:35,572 --> 01:15:37,573 The cops question her, then what? 974 01:15:37,574 --> 01:15:39,951 - They count the dough. - After that ... 975 01:15:39,952 --> 01:15:42,078 Hey, what dough? 976 01:15:42,079 --> 01:15:45,122 You're waiting for them to count the million? 977 01:15:45,123 --> 01:15:48,709 You crazy? What's a million? I won't calm down. 978 01:15:48,710 --> 01:15:51,796 How are you gonna get out? She'll blab. 979 01:15:51,797 --> 01:15:53,422 No, we've got the kid. 980 01:15:53,423 --> 01:15:55,841 I tell you, the first one to leave dies. 981 01:15:55,842 --> 01:15:57,385 You can't kill anyone. 982 01:15:57,386 --> 01:15:59,554 I'll kill whoever I like. No more talking. 983 01:15:59,555 --> 01:16:02,890 The next one out is dead. A hostage, whatever. 984 01:16:02,891 --> 01:16:05,184 Whatever you want, you got it? 985 01:16:05,185 --> 01:16:08,646 We'll obtain more that way and have the upper hand. 986 01:16:10,107 --> 01:16:12,024 What are you doing? 987 01:16:12,025 --> 01:16:15,152 What? You want to hold it for me? 988 01:16:15,153 --> 01:16:16,696 Let's wait for the bus. 989 01:16:16,697 --> 01:16:20,157 What the bus? We're gonna go home by bus? 990 01:16:20,158 --> 01:16:23,286 Why not on the subway! 991 01:16:23,287 --> 01:16:28,207 Hey, it's the second round or what? 992 01:16:28,208 --> 01:16:29,458 I'm pissing. 993 01:16:29,459 --> 01:16:31,460 - Pissing? - Yeah. 994 01:16:31,461 --> 01:16:32,795 You piss silently? 995 01:16:32,796 --> 01:16:34,338 Yeah, don't you? 996 01:16:34,339 --> 01:16:36,132 - You piss white? - Yeah. 997 01:16:36,133 --> 01:16:38,718 You piss invisible! Think I'm an idiot? 998 01:16:38,719 --> 01:16:40,761 Why? Are you sick? 999 01:16:40,762 --> 01:16:42,888 Do you piss yellow? Red? 1000 01:16:42,889 --> 01:16:44,265 At least there's color. 1001 01:16:44,266 --> 01:16:46,559 - You're sick. - So I'm sick? 1002 01:16:46,560 --> 01:16:48,519 - I'm sick? - Yeah. 1003 01:16:51,356 --> 01:16:53,983 Wait, I'm going back to my spot ... 1004 01:16:56,194 --> 01:16:58,362 Where the fuck are they? 1005 01:17:09,541 --> 01:17:12,627 Back in the room, faster! 1006 01:17:21,928 --> 01:17:25,139 Let her through, she's the mother, it's her son! 1007 01:17:37,194 --> 01:17:38,653 Move back! 1008 01:17:41,740 --> 01:17:43,449 What do you want? 1009 01:17:43,450 --> 01:17:46,243 You wanna screw me over again? 1010 01:17:46,244 --> 01:17:48,329 I was just trying to help ... 1011 01:17:48,330 --> 01:17:50,998 Move back! 1012 01:17:50,999 --> 01:17:53,167 I said, move back! 1013 01:17:53,168 --> 01:17:56,337 - Don't shoot. - Move back, move back. 1014 01:17:56,338 --> 01:17:58,547 Don't fucking shoot! 1015 01:18:01,009 --> 01:18:04,178 - What are you doing? - You're gonna shoot me? 1016 01:18:04,179 --> 01:18:06,514 What I'm doing? What about you? 1017 01:18:06,515 --> 01:18:08,516 Whose side are you on? 1018 01:18:08,517 --> 01:18:11,227 - Who are you with? - Shut up! 1019 01:18:13,689 --> 01:18:15,022 Let him go! 1020 01:18:21,697 --> 01:18:25,116 We want information! 1021 01:18:25,117 --> 01:18:27,618 I said, get the fuck out of here! 1022 01:18:27,619 --> 01:18:29,370 You, motherfucker! 1023 01:18:29,371 --> 01:18:30,579 Let go. 1024 01:18:35,127 --> 01:18:36,627 Sir! 1025 01:18:36,628 --> 01:18:38,796 My son, Jean-Claude ... 1026 01:18:38,797 --> 01:18:42,758 - What's going on? - Is Jean-Claude dead, or ... 1027 01:18:42,759 --> 01:18:45,970 Answer me, damn it! He's my son! 1028 01:18:45,971 --> 01:18:49,265 Make her stop crying! 1029 01:18:49,266 --> 01:18:52,184 I said, let go! 1030 01:19:00,444 --> 01:19:02,236 What? 1031 01:19:02,237 --> 01:19:04,905 Go ahead, shoot! 1032 01:19:04,906 --> 01:19:08,075 You, too, get lost! 1033 01:19:10,245 --> 01:19:13,831 Back to our correspondent in Los Angeles, 1034 01:19:13,832 --> 01:19:15,875 where it seems Van Damme's attorney ... 1035 01:19:15,876 --> 01:19:18,919 has a statement to make. 1036 01:19:40,484 --> 01:19:42,485 Go over there! 1037 01:19:42,486 --> 01:19:44,028 Bang! 1038 01:19:44,029 --> 01:19:45,446 Like in movies. 1039 01:19:58,251 --> 01:20:00,419 What the hell are you doing? 1040 01:20:00,420 --> 01:20:02,463 Whose side are you on, you dork? 1041 01:20:02,464 --> 01:20:05,257 That moron soften you up? 1042 01:20:05,258 --> 01:20:07,551 Oh, yeah, I'm the dork? 1043 01:20:07,552 --> 01:20:11,347 Yeah, a 32-year-old who still watches karate films? 1044 01:20:11,348 --> 01:20:13,974 And who gets softened up like a beginner? 1045 01:20:13,975 --> 01:20:15,476 - A beginner? - Yeah. 1046 01:20:15,477 --> 01:20:17,311 Robbing a post office at my age, 1047 01:20:17,312 --> 01:20:18,562 that's a youth mistake. 1048 01:20:18,563 --> 01:20:19,897 But at 52 ... 1049 01:20:19,898 --> 01:20:22,274 Yeah, right, 52 years old. 1050 01:20:22,275 --> 01:20:25,402 You owe me some respect, I could be your father. 1051 01:20:25,403 --> 01:20:27,571 My father? Because of your age? 1052 01:20:27,572 --> 01:20:30,783 No, because I fucked your mother. 1053 01:20:33,453 --> 01:20:34,745 Sure. 1054 01:20:46,550 --> 01:20:48,968 Are you happy now? 1055 01:20:48,969 --> 01:20:50,886 Did you ever go to school? 1056 01:20:50,887 --> 01:20:54,390 You'd know that stone falls on egg, 1057 01:20:54,391 --> 01:20:57,059 breaks egg. 1058 01:20:57,060 --> 01:21:00,271 And egg which ... 1059 01:21:00,272 --> 01:21:04,567 an egg which falls ... 1060 01:21:12,242 --> 01:21:14,785 Because we can't ... 1061 01:21:14,786 --> 01:21:17,997 You can't save ... 1062 01:21:17,998 --> 01:21:20,291 the world. 1063 01:21:31,511 --> 01:21:34,179 What? 1064 01:21:34,180 --> 01:21:36,849 We said, "Not the mothers!" 1065 01:21:43,982 --> 01:21:53,073 I don't wanna die. 1066 01:22:04,878 --> 01:22:07,588 It's over, it's over. 1067 01:22:13,762 --> 01:22:16,972 Don't worry, Jean-Claude. 1068 01:22:16,973 --> 01:22:20,643 Aren't we better off without him? 1069 01:22:34,532 --> 01:22:38,452 - He shot him in the head. - Put Jean-Claude on. 1070 01:22:58,348 --> 01:23:00,891 Jean-Claude? 1071 01:23:00,892 --> 01:23:03,102 I wanted to ask you ... 1072 01:23:05,563 --> 01:23:09,024 Could you sign me an autograph? 1073 01:23:11,778 --> 01:23:15,114 For Arthur. 1074 01:23:15,115 --> 01:23:17,825 Promise? 1075 01:23:19,577 --> 01:23:21,495 Thanks. 1076 01:23:41,891 --> 01:23:44,268 The cops. 1077 01:23:44,269 --> 01:23:46,270 - No! - Yes. 1078 01:23:50,775 --> 01:23:53,610 Arthur? 1079 01:23:53,611 --> 01:23:55,779 Don't shoot. 1080 01:23:55,780 --> 01:23:57,740 Police! 1081 01:24:09,085 --> 01:24:11,128 Police! Don't move! 1082 01:24:48,917 --> 01:24:56,965 I'm a hostage! 1083 01:25:02,680 --> 01:25:04,598 I need a doctor, now! 1084 01:25:04,599 --> 01:25:06,975 - Drop the gun! - Get lost! 1085 01:25:08,937 --> 01:25:12,523 Get out or I'll smoke him! 1086 01:25:12,524 --> 01:25:15,442 - Drop the gun! - Let him go! 1087 01:25:20,949 --> 01:25:24,409 Get outta here or I'll smoke him! 1088 01:25:25,870 --> 01:25:27,788 It's not him! 1089 01:25:32,335 --> 01:25:34,628 It's not Jean-Claude! 1090 01:25:43,513 --> 01:25:46,306 - Get outta here! - Drop the gun! 1091 01:25:46,307 --> 01:25:49,601 I'm gonna smoke him! Get outta here! 1092 01:27:27,325 --> 01:27:30,035 I didn't do anything! 1093 01:27:41,839 --> 01:27:44,716 What the hell is going on here? 1094 01:27:45,969 --> 01:27:47,594 You're a criminal! 1095 01:27:47,595 --> 01:27:50,847 Extortion of $465,000 from the Belgian state. 1096 01:27:50,848 --> 01:27:53,600 - Extortion? - What extortion? 1097 01:27:53,601 --> 01:27:55,936 There's no extortion! 1098 01:27:55,937 --> 01:27:58,480 You're an asshole. 1099 01:28:54,454 --> 01:28:57,622 A few months later. 1100 01:28:58,958 --> 01:29:03,712 During the trial, Van Damme seemed quite serene, 1101 01:29:03,713 --> 01:29:08,216 and wishes to remain silent ... Here he comes. 1102 01:29:08,217 --> 01:29:10,719 Mr. Van Damme, a statement? 1103 01:29:10,720 --> 01:29:13,263 Do you agree with the court's verdict? 1104 01:29:37,372 --> 01:29:41,124 Jean-Claude Van Damme, as mentioned earlier, 1105 01:29:41,125 --> 01:29:44,503 will serve one year for extortion of funds. 1106 01:29:44,504 --> 01:29:48,924 He should serve his sentence in Brussels' suburbs. 1107 01:29:48,925 --> 01:29:53,428 And this ends the thrilling judicial series. 1108 01:29:53,429 --> 01:29:57,516 We just heard of the incredible escape ... 1109 01:30:01,604 --> 01:30:05,399 If the knee is lower than the foot, like this ... 1110 01:30:05,400 --> 01:30:07,984 you won't have any strength. 1111 01:30:20,873 --> 01:30:22,499 Harder! 1112 01:30:31,467 --> 01:30:34,469 Jean-Claude! Visiting Room! 1113 01:30:58,035 --> 01:31:00,579 How are you, Mom? 1114 01:31:00,580 --> 01:31:02,038 Aren't you cold? 1115 01:31:02,039 --> 01:31:05,542 No, no, I just gave the guys a karate lesson. 1116 01:31:05,543 --> 01:31:08,753 - You teach karate? - Yeah, keeps me busy. 1117 01:31:08,754 --> 01:31:09,963 That's nice. 1118 01:31:09,964 --> 01:31:12,799 Your father asked how you were doing and ... 1119 01:31:12,800 --> 01:31:15,469 wanted to tell you stuff ... 1120 01:31:15,470 --> 01:31:17,012 Is he okay? 1121 01:31:17,013 --> 01:31:19,681 I'll be right back, I have a surprise. 1122 01:31:19,682 --> 01:31:22,726 - Excuse me? - I have a surprise for you. 1123 01:31:22,727 --> 01:31:25,645 - I've had plenty of surprises. - Wait a sec. 1124 01:31:25,646 --> 01:31:27,772 We don't have much time. 75705

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