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1
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,577
[spooky music]
2
00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:49,798
[music intensifies]
3
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,300
[thunder]
4
00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:03,771
[far away howling]
5
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:09,276
[suspenseful music,
thunder continues]
6
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:15,074
[playful music]
7
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:21,830
[shattering glass]
8
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,582
[howling]
9
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,795
[suspenseful chord]
10
00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:31,715
[creaking]
11
00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:34,968
[eerie music]
12
00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:45,854
Here's to you, baby.
13
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,273
Ten years of misery.
14
00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:50,609
Salanche...
15
00:01:50,693 --> 00:01:52,402
[spooky music]
16
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,657
You never did like
taking it on the face.
17
00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:58,784
Well how's that now, huh?
18
00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:00,786
Come to think of it,
19
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,663
I think it's high time...
20
00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:05,499
I cashed in
on all those years...
21
00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:09,044
you never tended to my needs.
22
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:13,507
Whine, whine, whine.
Me, me, me.
23
00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:15,634
- Well what about me?
- [suspenseful chord]
24
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,302
Huh?
25
00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,721
I'm thinking it's time
26
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:23,475
for a little bit
of dead head.
27
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:24,643
[wind howling]
28
00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,728
You won't mind. Much.
29
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,147
[zzipper and suspenseful chord]
30
00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:29,398
Shit.
31
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:30,649
[crunch and wet meat]
32
00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:33,694
Hey!
Jesus, mother of God!
33
00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:35,362
Fuck.
34
00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:38,657
[muffled growling
and chuckling]
35
00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:40,242
Let go of my meat!
36
00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:41,451
[howling]
37
00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:45,062
- Let go of my meat!
- [howling]
38
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,085
[panting]
39
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,753
[thunder]
40
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:55,007
[eerie music]
41
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:00,929
[thunder]
42
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,724
[intense suspenseful music]
43
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:14,651
No. No. No. No. No. No.
44
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:17,279
No! You bitch!
45
00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:20,240
You bit off my bean bag!
46
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:22,034
[suspenseful chord
and sound of wet meat]
47
00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:24,369
[cell phone ringing]
48
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:25,829
Fucker!
49
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,414
[shouting]
Yeah?
50
00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:28,957
[funny mumbling
over phone]
51
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,584
Balls! He is?
52
00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:32,252
[funny mumbling]
53
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,463
Yeah, I'll be there,
I'll be there, yeah.
54
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:37,716
Jesus wept! Yeah, fine!
55
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,886
[wind softly howling]
56
00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:44,097
[animaI howling]
57
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:47,392
[thunder]
58
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,603
I'm late for work.
59
00:03:49,687 --> 00:03:55,442
[cheerful rock music]
60
00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:00,948
[horn honking]
61
00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:03,575
[sighing]
62
00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:05,285
[rock music continues]
63
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:31,103
- [tuning radio]
- [woman] Will you stop touching that.
64
00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:33,814
(man) Honey, what is...
What was the station again?
65
00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:35,232
I can never
remember the number.
66
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:36,483
(woman)
I don't know.
67
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:38,568
You're supposed to know...
68
00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:41,363
'cause I can never remember,
so it's your job to remember.
69
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,490
Well, remind me
why we're bringing our baby...
70
00:04:43,574 --> 00:04:45,701
to an all-night
splatter fest again.
71
00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:50,205
Are you serious? I wish that I
had parents as cool as [indistinct]
72
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:53,166
He's gonna be so prepared
for life in modern America,
73
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,710
after this evening of films.
74
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,586
I know.
75
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,213
[snapping]
Yeah.
76
00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,548
[cheerful rock music
over radio]
77
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,633
I love it
when the old man...
78
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,552
pumps golden moldies
in the channel after the all-nighters.
79
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,637
You know,
it totally puts me in the mood.
80
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,931
Yeah, look what happened
the last time Otis Redding was on.
81
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,141
Uh-huh? Uh-huh.
82
00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:10,726
Do you want a brother?
83
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,312
(baby)
Little brother, daddy.
84
00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:16,481
(Ryan) All right, Tobe.
Six degrees, Kevin Bacon, Bela Lugosi.
85
00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:17,733
Hit it!
86
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,651
(Tobe)
Oh, no.
87
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,903
Oh man, this should be
cake and ice cream for you.
88
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,697
(man 2) Oh, come on.
Forget it, I... I...
89
00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:26,658
I guess this encyclopedia
is human after all.
90
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:29,202
So, what movie
is everyone freaking out about?
91
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:31,163
'Cause I'm going into the...
[indistinct]
92
00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:34,166
Well, I haven't seen any of them.
Apparently, Mr. K...
93
00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:37,669
has the only prints
of these things in existence.
94
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:40,380
It's like ultra rare Holy Grail shit.
Right, Tobes?
95
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:43,592
Yeah, this being the last hurrah
and all is the best time as ever...
96
00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:46,345
to unleash the terror,
the blood, the boobs!
97
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:47,929
More blood!
More boobs!
98
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,223
Hurray for boobs.
99
00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,351
What was it like working here,
I mean,
100
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:54,353
Hog heaven, right?
101
00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:56,938
No, nerdgasm. I saw the movie
"Hungry Hungry Hippos"...
102
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,732
13 times!
103
00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:01,610
I see no nutritional value
in that whatsoever.
104
00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:03,362
Hey, you asked!
And besides,
105
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:04,946
it gave you an excuse
to almost talk...
106
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,448
to a certain
concession employee.
107
00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:08,033
Wait. Almost?
108
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:10,118
So you
haven't even like...
109
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,745
No. Okay?
We haven't even.
110
00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:13,914
We're taking it slow.
111
00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:16,875
Mm-hm. And by "slow" he means
turn the other way and walk fast.
112
00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:18,794
So you haven't
even talked to her?
113
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,629
It's like this.
114
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:23,965
A girl like Desi
is never gonna go out with me...
115
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,884
so I figure, why not hold on
to the hope...
116
00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:27,427
instead of suffer
the disappointment?
117
00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:28,804
You should
at least talk to her
118
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:30,430
before you go
back to school.
119
00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:32,474
At least then
you could make a piece.
120
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,142
Yeah, look who's
talking potsy!
121
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,977
Well, what the fuck
does that mean?
122
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,312
Oh, nothing.
123
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,106
Yeah, nothing, just...
124
00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:41,108
Look, Kevin Bacon
and Elvis Presley.
125
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:42,818
(Tobe) Let's do it.
[chuckling]
126
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,069
[woman chuckling]
127
00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:45,153
[swoosh]
128
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,488
Admit two.
129
00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:47,989
There you go, kids.
130
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,492
Just pull up
to the front row spot
131
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:53,578
and tune your tunes
to 106. 1 and enjoy.
132
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,330
[chuckling]
133
00:06:55,415 --> 00:07:00,377
It's gonna be a hell
of a night! [chuckling]
134
00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:02,087
(man)
Yeah, thanks.
135
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,005
[rolls up window]
136
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:07,426
"It's gonna be a hell of a
night!" Fuck you, get real.
137
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,594
I'm so glad to see this
fucking dump decimated.
138
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,221
Jesus, man.
Lighten up.
139
00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:12,556
Oh, I'll lighten
up tomorrow
140
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,516
when the bulldozzers
gas up.
141
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,102
So remind me why we're here
instead of Schneideman's.
142
00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:18,645
Because I pulled
the short straw
143
00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:20,355
and got stuck
with baby sitting duty.
144
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,482
9:00 AM this is another
fine Blumps location.
145
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:24,276
[horn honking]
146
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,278
Until then, I gotta keep
an eye on the old man
147
00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:27,612
make sure he doesn't
pull any shenanigans.
148
00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:29,489
Well, Mr. Sourpuss.
149
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:31,950
Excuse me, that's Junior
VP at Marketing Sourpuss.
150
00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:34,161
Okay, Mr. VP Poopy Pants,
151
00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:36,830
I promise to make
tonight worth your while.
152
00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:38,915
(man)
Oh.
153
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:47,799
(announcer)
Show starts in five minutes.
154
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:49,217
[rattling]
155
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,553
[cheerful music]
156
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,986
I don't know, Orson.
157
00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:11,990
Looks like last licks
for us old bones.
158
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:16,077
I'm gonna miss all this.
159
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:19,331
This was my favorite part.
160
00:08:19,373 --> 00:08:22,959
The preparation
and anticipation.
161
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:27,172
The threading,
splicing the reels,
162
00:08:27,256 --> 00:08:29,758
and always racing the clock.
163
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:33,553
Betty and I, we never
missed a single listing.
164
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:37,182
In the gate
and don't be late.
165
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:41,228
You taught me that.
166
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:43,438
My rosebud.
167
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:46,399
Well, who needs
to be on time now
168
00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:49,277
when you've got
demanding video
169
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,279
and high definition crap?
170
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:54,950
You can get anytime at home.
171
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:58,245
Who needs the old
night out under the stars
172
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,413
with some movie magic anymore?
173
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:03,458
That's what you
were all about. Right?
174
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:07,546
Magic tricks
and slight of hand.
175
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,799
Nobody cares
for magic anymore.
176
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:13,051
Nope.
[sighing]
177
00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:15,387
The world gets smaller.
178
00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:17,472
And soul mates fade away
179
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:21,059
like old Kodak film stock.
180
00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:22,686
But nothing's gonna stop me
181
00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:25,230
from sharing a bit
of that magic tonight!
182
00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:27,941
Right?
[chuckling]
183
00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:31,736
But, much like anything else...
184
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,905
[rattling]
185
00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:35,448
[clears throat]
186
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:42,581
Now she's gone.
187
00:09:42,623 --> 00:09:46,418
Now this place
is pretty much gone.
188
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:51,298
And like tomorrow,
189
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:54,718
I may be gone, too.
190
00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:58,597
Fade to black. Right?
[chuckling]
191
00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:01,850
Or maybe a smash cut!
[laughing]
192
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,768
[door bangs open]
193
00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:06,146
Jumping Jesus!
Jehoshaphat Floyd.
194
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:08,315
Heart hopping Christ,
you're late, man.
195
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,317
Sorry, boss, I've been, uh,
196
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:13,028
I've been dealing with some...
[coughing]
197
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:14,696
Family matters.
198
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,865
Well, there's no need
for excuses now,
199
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:19,284
I'm already done
threading the first film.
200
00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:21,870
Good God, man!
201
00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:24,372
What have you been
sticking your dick into?
202
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,874
You look like hell
on a hand grenade.
203
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,084
I've been under the weather.
204
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:31,129
Look, why don't you just go
check in with concessions,
205
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:32,714
see if Desi needs some help?
206
00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:34,466
Sounds good. Okay.
207
00:10:34,508 --> 00:10:36,051
And for Christ's sake, man,
208
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:39,387
clean yourself up!
209
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,227
[door shuts]
210
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,812
It's show-time!
211
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:49,481
[chuckling]
212
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:51,358
[thunder
and screaming recording]
213
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:55,570
Well, hell, ell, ell,
ello, kiddies!
214
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,072
[chuckling]
215
00:10:57,156 --> 00:11:00,575
It's your old friend,
Uncle Cecil,
216
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,370
welcoming you to the final,
217
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:06,581
ghoulish night of murder
218
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:10,210
and mayhem!
[vicious laughter]
219
00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:13,505
Yes, my ghouls and gals,
220
00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:18,468
it's time for Chillerama!
[vicious laughter]
221
00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:21,554
[horns honking]
222
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:27,060
Sit back, poke a hole in the
bottom of your pop-corn bag,
223
00:11:27,144 --> 00:11:30,146
cuddle up
to the closest corpse
224
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:33,191
and prepare yourself
225
00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:35,819
for this evening's
226
00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:41,199
first squishy selection.
227
00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:47,789
Wadzilla!
[vicious laughter]
228
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:50,291
[rooster]
229
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:54,462
[joyous classicaI music]
230
00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:58,800
[eerie chord]
231
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:01,052
[mangled chords
and wet meat]
232
00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:11,312
[shrill eerie music]
233
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:14,858
[swoosh]
234
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:25,744
Excuse me, Dr. Weems.
235
00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:27,746
Miles Munson's
lab work is ready.
236
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,706
Tell him I'll be right in.
237
00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:31,416
[whispering]
Okay.
238
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:35,086
(Miles) I never heard of a sperm bank
239
00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:36,629
turning anyone
down before.
240
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:38,214
You can imagine
my nervousness
241
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:40,216
when they suggested
I see a urologist.
242
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:42,051
It isn't anything
serious, is it?
243
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:43,428
Life-threatening, no.
244
00:12:43,512 --> 00:12:45,764
As a matter
of concern, yes.
245
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:49,934
Have a look
in there, Miles.
246
00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:55,440
(Miles) Wow! Look at them all go.
247
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:59,486
(doctor) That is an
example or normaI sperm.
248
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:03,656
And that
is your sperm.
249
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:06,618
[ominous music]
250
00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:08,536
(Miles)
Yikes.
251
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,205
[suspenseful chord]
252
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:12,373
That doesn't look good.
253
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:17,712
Miles, there's a new medication
I'd like to suggest you try.
254
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,632
It's called
Spermupermine.
255
00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:24,552
Now, it can't increase
the sperm you generate
256
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,471
but what it can do,
257
00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:29,182
is strengthen the sperm
you already produce.
258
00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:30,892
Spermupermine?
259
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:34,896
Yes. It hasn't been
approved by the FDA yet,
260
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:37,524
but it is available
to test subjects.
261
00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:40,610
Luckily for you, I'm on the
research board. [chuckling]
262
00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:42,654
Thank you, doctor.
263
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,405
[shouting]
264
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:47,158
(man over TV)
Good morning, kids!
265
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,494
It's the Captain Fatso Show.
266
00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:52,747
And I'm Captain Fatso!
267
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,500
[shouting]
268
00:13:55,584 --> 00:13:58,837
Well, ahoy there,
Captain Fatso,
269
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,548
say, are those
gumdrops I smell?
270
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:04,592
(Fatso) Look kids,
it's Dudley Dingleberry!
271
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,554
[kids shouting]
272
00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:09,514
(Fatso)
I'm starving!
273
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:11,891
I haven't even had
breakfast yet!
274
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:16,020
(Fatso) Let me tell you
about the new sponsor!
275
00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:19,524
[shouting]
276
00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:22,026
[suspenseful music]
277
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:25,405
[TV show continues]
278
00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:30,034
[music stops]
279
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:32,495
(Fatso over TV) Peanut
Mush is now enhanced
280
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,706
with new
flavored chemicals.
281
00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:39,294
Makes your breakfast even
more scrump-dilly-dumptious!
282
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,296
Sounds de-lish.
283
00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:43,298
[shouting]
284
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,553
Morning, Miles.
285
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:50,763
Uh, morning, Larry.
286
00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,015
Hey, you still
single, buddy?
287
00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:53,766
Unfortunately.
288
00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,852
My wife's college
roommate just got divorced
289
00:14:55,936 --> 00:14:57,645
and moved to town.
Perfect for you.
290
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,397
You should take her to
dinner tomorrow night.
291
00:14:59,481 --> 00:15:01,149
Absolutely not. No way,
no more blind dates.
292
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:03,109
Not after last time.
293
00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:05,570
Come on, she's perfect. You
should just do this, okay?
294
00:15:05,654 --> 00:15:07,906
She's cute. She's not
looking for anything serious.
295
00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:10,074
Just a little companionship. You know?
296
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:11,284
[train horn]
297
00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:16,664
[playful music]
298
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,921
[jazzzzy music]
299
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:42,690
Oh.
300
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,943
Allow me.
301
00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:53,493
[suspenseful chord]
302
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,289
Oh.
303
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:01,501
[grunting]
304
00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:04,629
Miles, are you okay?
305
00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:06,464
Come here.
306
00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:09,342
I just had a horrible
shooting pain in my balls.
307
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:11,344
You think you sat on your
balls when you sat down?
308
00:16:11,428 --> 00:16:13,054
I don't know.
309
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:15,556
Oh! You twisted the veins
in your testicles.
310
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,016
Classic vein twist.
311
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:19,352
Okay. Okay.
[panting]
312
00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:20,853
I'm good.
313
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:21,938
I'm so...
314
00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:32,323
(man) Okay, onto the
consolidation of our acquisitions
315
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:33,866
of GeneraI Textile Industries
316
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,243
and MBT Plastics.
317
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:36,786
For a brief overview,
318
00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:38,538
we'd like to introduce to you all
319
00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:40,498
the newest member
of our department,
320
00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:42,542
Andie Sumner.
321
00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:44,210
[jazzzzy music]
322
00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:46,004
Hello, gentlemen.
323
00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:49,173
[jazzzzy music]
324
00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:55,722
Oh!
[sighing]
325
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:57,682
I'm such a klutzz.
326
00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:03,438
Oh.
327
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,982
[grunting]
328
00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:11,362
Are you okay?
329
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:12,864
Someone, help him up.
330
00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:14,741
No, I'm all right.
I'm all right.
331
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,576
I'm all right.
332
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:19,203
Ugh. I just need
a little bit of air.
333
00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:22,707
I'm sorry. Excuse me for
one second. [grunting]
334
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,208
I don't know
if it has anything to do
335
00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:25,877
with the pills
that you gave me,
336
00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:28,337
but every time I get
the least bit aroused
337
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:31,049
I get the most intense
shooting pain
338
00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,051
[whispering]
through my testicles.
339
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:36,304
Tsk. Well, there's only
one way to find out.
340
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:45,313
[scream and suspenseful chord]
341
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:47,440
What in God's name...
342
00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:50,651
[suspenseful music]
343
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,321
Miles? Are you
all right?
344
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,073
I think so.
345
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:01,412
Give me the sample, Miles,
346
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,247
so we can get it under
the microscope right away.
347
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:06,876
I don't think you're
gonna need a microscope.
348
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:12,173
Oh!
349
00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:13,549
[wet meat]
350
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:18,930
[panting]
My God.
351
00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:20,640
What's wrong with me?
352
00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:22,850
It's impossible,
but it would appear
353
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:25,895
that the Spermupermine has had
an adverse effect on your system.
354
00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:27,939
It's not only strengthening
your spermatozzoa
355
00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:29,524
but it's causing it
to grow
356
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:32,360
to gargantuan proportions.
357
00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:36,114
And traditionally, when
a man experiences arousaI,
358
00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:38,950
his testicles produce
more sperm.
359
00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:40,326
But in your case, however,
360
00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:42,120
when you get turned on,
361
00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:44,455
the one sperm you do have
362
00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:46,707
gets huge.
363
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:47,917
[wet meat]
364
00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:49,460
[suspenseful music]
365
00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:55,299
I'm gonna send this to the
National Institute of Health
366
00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:57,885
in Washington
for analysis.
367
00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:02,890
Discontinue use
of the medication immediately.
368
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,893
If you feel your
sperm enlarging again
369
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,229
you get it out of your
system right away.
370
00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:09,313
Get it out
of my system?
371
00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:11,649
Jerk off! Fast!
372
00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:13,317
[sighing]
373
00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:16,404
[cheerful Latino music]
374
00:19:26,456 --> 00:19:27,540
[knocking]
375
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:31,711
[soft music]
376
00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:33,379
Hi.
377
00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:35,256
You must be Miles.
378
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:36,757
[suspenseful chord]
379
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:39,343
I'm Louise.
380
00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:42,555
[suspenseful music,
intensifying]
381
00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:45,183
[grunting]
382
00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:48,853
[suspenseful chord]
383
00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:50,438
No.
384
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:51,981
Oh, my God! What happened? Are you...
385
00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:53,858
Are you okay?
386
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,611
May I use your bathroom
just for a minute, please?
387
00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:58,112
Of course.
388
00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,488
Come right in.
389
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:01,699
Right down the hall.
390
00:20:01,783 --> 00:20:04,243
I'll just be one
second and I'll be back.
391
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:05,620
Oh.
392
00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:07,371
[grunting]
393
00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:09,040
[suspenseful music continues]
394
00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:20,051
[growling]
395
00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:24,055
Molly, just what kind of a nut
did you and Larry set me up with?
396
00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:27,600
Hon, Louise says that
Miles showed up at her door,
397
00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:30,811
grabbed his crotch and
started screaming. Wha...
398
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:32,730
He's... He's
in the bathroom now,
399
00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:35,066
he's making weird...
I can hear him.
400
00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:37,568
(Larry) Louise, Miles twisted
a vein in one of his testicles.
401
00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:39,654
Yeah, it hurts him sometimes.
402
00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:41,155
He feels bad about it.
Don't make a fuss over it.
403
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,615
He's a good guy.
404
00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:44,951
Okay. That is enough
out of you.
405
00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:47,620
I'm so sorry. No, it's gonna be okay.
406
00:20:47,704 --> 00:20:49,080
He's just a brute.
407
00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:50,581
That guy is such
an asshole.
408
00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:51,999
[gasping]
I can hear him.
409
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,418
The poor guy...
410
00:20:54,461 --> 00:20:55,920
Now I just
feel sorry for him.
411
00:20:56,004 --> 00:20:57,546
[intense suspenseful music]
412
00:20:59,132 --> 00:21:00,508
[shouting]
413
00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:03,594
[loud thud]
414
00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:04,929
[wet meat]
415
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:06,681
[grunting]
416
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:07,807
[suspenseful chord]
417
00:21:07,891 --> 00:21:08,849
[clink]
418
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:10,393
She hung up.
419
00:21:10,477 --> 00:21:12,436
[ominous music]
420
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:14,063
[thumping and wet meat]
421
00:21:51,893 --> 00:21:53,352
[thumps and crashing]
422
00:21:56,773 --> 00:21:57,940
[glass shattering]
423
00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:02,653
[knocking]
Miles?
424
00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:04,363
[thumping]
425
00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:05,906
Are you all right in there?
426
00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:08,200
[grunting, crashing]
427
00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:10,202
[wet meat]
428
00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:15,916
Ugh!
429
00:22:23,550 --> 00:22:25,760
[flushing]
430
00:22:25,844 --> 00:22:26,927
[sighing]
431
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:29,013
That was a close one.
432
00:22:29,056 --> 00:22:31,307
[ominous music]
433
00:22:31,391 --> 00:22:34,477
Oh, no!
434
00:22:34,561 --> 00:22:35,978
[Louise, knocking]
Miles.
435
00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:37,605
I'm getting
very concerned.
436
00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:39,732
It sounds like something
broke in there.
437
00:22:39,816 --> 00:22:42,360
You don't happen to
have a plunger, do you?
438
00:22:42,444 --> 00:22:45,404
Oh.
439
00:22:45,489 --> 00:22:47,448
Just what in the hell
happened in here?
440
00:22:47,532 --> 00:22:49,934
I'm on a new medication.
441
00:22:49,935 --> 00:22:50,935
[splashing]
Oh!
442
00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:56,082
[growling]
443
00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:57,208
Oh, my God!
444
00:22:57,292 --> 00:22:59,126
[ominous music]
445
00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:00,878
It's getting bigger!
446
00:23:00,962 --> 00:23:01,879
[growling]
447
00:23:01,963 --> 00:23:03,381
Run!
448
00:23:03,465 --> 00:23:05,633
[Louise, screaming]
449
00:23:08,804 --> 00:23:09,887
No!
450
00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:11,764
Run!
451
00:23:11,848 --> 00:23:13,099
Ugh.
452
00:23:13,183 --> 00:23:15,184
[growling and squealing]
453
00:23:15,268 --> 00:23:16,477
[screaming]
454
00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:17,895
Oh!
[screaming]
455
00:23:17,979 --> 00:23:19,397
[screaming]
456
00:23:19,481 --> 00:23:21,315
[screaming and sound
of wet meat]
457
00:23:32,577 --> 00:23:33,786
[growling]
458
00:23:38,458 --> 00:23:39,667
[Louise, screaming]
459
00:23:39,751 --> 00:23:40,876
[crash]
460
00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:52,596
[growling]
461
00:24:00,564 --> 00:24:02,064
[glass shattering]
462
00:24:08,613 --> 00:24:09,864
[thump]
463
00:24:09,948 --> 00:24:11,240
[gurgling]
464
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,287
Um.
465
00:24:16,329 --> 00:24:19,039
I can explain that.
466
00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:22,376
He's a nice guy, don't
get me wrong, but...
467
00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:24,211
"Nice" just don't
count in the bedroom
468
00:24:24,296 --> 00:24:26,672
when you got a baby
gherkin between your legs.
469
00:24:26,756 --> 00:24:28,466
Come on, Stewie. Make
a poo poo for momma,
470
00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:31,093
Come on, be a good boy.
I'm not exaggerating.
471
00:24:31,178 --> 00:24:32,803
The guy's hung like
Howdy Doody,
472
00:24:32,846 --> 00:24:34,096
and that's being generous.
473
00:24:34,181 --> 00:24:35,890
[ominous music]
474
00:24:35,974 --> 00:24:38,309
[chuckling] Of course
I'm gonna see him again.
475
00:24:38,351 --> 00:24:40,060
Did you see his car?
It's a Cadillac.
476
00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:42,146
No, that sizze was more
than acceptable...
477
00:24:42,230 --> 00:24:43,606
[eerie sound
and dog whining]
478
00:24:43,690 --> 00:24:45,566
Stewie! Will you
please shut up?
479
00:24:45,650 --> 00:24:49,361
I'm sorry. He flunked
obedience school. The mongoloid.
480
00:24:49,446 --> 00:24:51,906
[ominous music]
481
00:24:51,990 --> 00:24:54,158
[wet meat]
482
00:24:54,242 --> 00:24:56,327
[whining]
483
00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:05,461
[monster growling,
dog whining]
484
00:25:05,545 --> 00:25:08,297
Why does it smell
like Ajax? [loud growI]
485
00:25:08,381 --> 00:25:10,716
Stewie! Ow! You almost
dislocated my...
486
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:14,345
Stewie?
487
00:25:16,681 --> 00:25:18,766
[ominous chord]
488
00:25:18,850 --> 00:25:20,851
I have to call you back, mom.
489
00:25:20,936 --> 00:25:23,270
Stewie just escaped
from his leash again.
490
00:25:25,690 --> 00:25:27,233
There you are.
491
00:25:27,317 --> 00:25:28,901
[wet meat]
492
00:25:28,985 --> 00:25:30,569
You furry fugitive, you.
493
00:25:30,654 --> 00:25:32,071
You'd better get
your little butt
494
00:25:32,155 --> 00:25:33,531
over here before...
[gasping]
495
00:25:33,615 --> 00:25:34,740
[growling]
496
00:25:34,824 --> 00:25:37,368
[wet meat sound]
497
00:25:41,039 --> 00:25:41,997
[squirting sound]
498
00:25:44,876 --> 00:25:47,795
[accordion music]
499
00:26:02,978 --> 00:26:04,228
[loud thump]
500
00:26:10,235 --> 00:26:12,361
[metallic clanking]
501
00:26:12,445 --> 00:26:14,780
[ominous chord]
502
00:26:21,246 --> 00:26:23,080
[clanking continues]
503
00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:39,430
[shouting]
504
00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:51,275
You almost gave me
a heart attack.
505
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:52,735
Me too!
506
00:26:55,905 --> 00:26:59,116
What'd you get?
[chuckling]
507
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,494
[humming]
508
00:27:05,373 --> 00:27:06,624
[chuckling]
A Milk Dud.
509
00:27:06,666 --> 00:27:08,876
[laughing viciously]
510
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:11,337
So, what did you find?
511
00:27:11,421 --> 00:27:15,132
Half a rotisserie
512
00:27:15,216 --> 00:27:17,301
chicken.
[laughing]
513
00:27:17,385 --> 00:27:19,637
You're gonna split that
with me, right?
514
00:27:19,721 --> 00:27:21,180
Yeah. Maybe.
515
00:27:21,264 --> 00:27:23,974
For a hand job.
516
00:27:24,059 --> 00:27:26,310
[suspenseful music]
517
00:27:26,353 --> 00:27:28,562
Don't be such
a prude, Babs.
518
00:27:28,647 --> 00:27:31,565
It's not like you ain't done
it 100,000 times already.
519
00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:33,984
Sp... Sperm!
520
00:27:34,069 --> 00:27:36,153
Exactly!
521
00:27:40,784 --> 00:27:42,576
[growling]
522
00:27:42,661 --> 00:27:45,245
[suspenseful music,
intensifying]
523
00:27:45,330 --> 00:27:47,915
[growling]
524
00:27:52,921 --> 00:27:54,088
[crunch and splatter]
525
00:27:54,172 --> 00:27:56,215
Bob!
526
00:27:56,299 --> 00:27:58,884
[woman shouting]
527
00:27:58,968 --> 00:28:02,346
[running footsteps]
528
00:28:02,430 --> 00:28:03,722
[growling]
529
00:28:03,807 --> 00:28:05,516
[shouting]
530
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:08,560
[clanking and shouting]
531
00:28:08,645 --> 00:28:10,354
[shouting, echoing]
532
00:28:10,438 --> 00:28:12,606
I want to thank you for
being so understanding.
533
00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:15,025
You know, a lot of girls
would've run for the hills
534
00:28:15,110 --> 00:28:18,362
if the sperm of their blind date
shot up their skirt like that.
535
00:28:18,405 --> 00:28:20,072
So, thanks again.
536
00:28:20,156 --> 00:28:22,449
I swear to God, I will
pay for any damages.
537
00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:25,035
Oh, please,
things can be replaced.
538
00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:26,704
Testicles can't.
539
00:28:26,788 --> 00:28:28,038
Now that's for sure.
540
00:28:28,123 --> 00:28:32,418
I'm just glad
you're... Uh.
541
00:28:32,502 --> 00:28:34,712
Louise? What's
the matter?
542
00:28:34,796 --> 00:28:37,381
[panting]
Oh, my God.
543
00:28:37,424 --> 00:28:40,259
Miles. That's
your sperm.
544
00:28:40,343 --> 00:28:43,303
(TV presenter) This just
in. The tadpole-like creature
545
00:28:43,388 --> 00:28:46,181
is running rampant
as it heads downtown.
546
00:28:46,266 --> 00:28:49,560
Five are dead already
and unconfirmed reports
547
00:28:49,602 --> 00:28:52,396
claim the slimy beast is
now the sizze of a house
548
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,148
and growing!
549
00:28:54,232 --> 00:28:56,775
Military leaders
are described as "testy"
550
00:28:56,860 --> 00:29:00,612
when asked how to defend
against this gargantuan goo.
551
00:29:00,697 --> 00:29:02,781
The military
is doing its best
552
00:29:02,866 --> 00:29:06,910
to determine what it would take
to rub one out of this sizze.
553
00:29:06,995 --> 00:29:08,579
What are we
gonna do?
554
00:29:08,663 --> 00:29:11,415
We gotta get the authorities. Come on!
555
00:29:11,499 --> 00:29:14,626
Citizzens are asked to use
whatever protection they can
556
00:29:14,711 --> 00:29:17,087
and avoid the creature's
immediate vicinity
557
00:29:17,172 --> 00:29:19,757
which authorities are
calling, "the wet spot".
558
00:29:19,841 --> 00:29:22,593
[ominous music]
559
00:29:22,677 --> 00:29:24,636
[growling and eerie chords]
560
00:29:30,268 --> 00:29:31,602
[thunder]
561
00:29:33,688 --> 00:29:35,606
We're reporting live
from downtown Manhattan
562
00:29:35,690 --> 00:29:37,733
at the epicenter
of the crisis zzone
563
00:29:37,817 --> 00:29:40,277
with a sperm creature which has
now risen to five stories high
564
00:29:40,361 --> 00:29:43,614
and apparently still growing has
been wreaking havoc on New York.
565
00:29:43,698 --> 00:29:46,992
The Mayor is insisting that all
New Yorkers remain in their homes,
566
00:29:47,076 --> 00:29:49,828
until further...
Oh, my God.
567
00:29:49,913 --> 00:29:51,330
It's coming.
[shouting]
568
00:29:51,414 --> 00:29:52,706
[growling]
569
00:29:52,791 --> 00:29:53,999
[splatter]
570
00:29:54,083 --> 00:29:55,626
[growling]
571
00:29:59,088 --> 00:30:01,965
(TV) The stupendous spermatozzoa
is ravaging through Central Park.
572
00:30:02,008 --> 00:30:03,967
Oh, the humanity!
573
00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,808
[gunshots]
574
00:30:12,393 --> 00:30:14,478
[crash and crunch]
575
00:30:14,562 --> 00:30:16,188
[explosion]
576
00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:30,410
The spermicide is having
absolutely no effect.
577
00:30:30,495 --> 00:30:32,412
What does this
sperm want, doc?
578
00:30:32,497 --> 00:30:35,249
What every sperm wants,
General. To fertilizze an ovum!
579
00:30:35,333 --> 00:30:37,584
There's not an ovum
on God's green earth
580
00:30:37,669 --> 00:30:39,419
big enough
for that thing.
581
00:30:39,504 --> 00:30:40,838
(Miles) Wait! I just figured it out.
582
00:30:40,922 --> 00:30:42,631
The Statue
of Liberty.
583
00:30:42,715 --> 00:30:45,092
It's the only conceivable
female large enough.
584
00:30:45,176 --> 00:30:47,594
[ominous music]
585
00:31:08,741 --> 00:31:11,451
[sweet eerie music]
586
00:31:26,885 --> 00:31:28,969
[growling softly]
587
00:31:29,053 --> 00:31:30,554
[ominous music]
588
00:31:30,638 --> 00:31:33,015
[choppers]
589
00:31:56,414 --> 00:31:59,666
Steady. Steady.
590
00:32:06,090 --> 00:32:08,133
[growling]
591
00:32:08,217 --> 00:32:10,427
[ripping]
592
00:32:10,511 --> 00:32:11,762
Ah! Dammit.
593
00:32:11,804 --> 00:32:12,721
Oh, my God!
594
00:32:12,805 --> 00:32:14,222
Don't panic,
595
00:32:14,307 --> 00:32:16,099
there's gotta
be another one here.
596
00:32:16,142 --> 00:32:17,517
(General)
No time. Look!
597
00:32:17,602 --> 00:32:19,436
[growling]
598
00:32:19,479 --> 00:32:21,855
[ominous music]
599
00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:23,774
[growling]
600
00:32:26,444 --> 00:32:27,945
[squealing]
601
00:32:39,207 --> 00:32:40,457
[growling]
602
00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:42,125
Attention!
603
00:32:42,168 --> 00:32:43,710
This is General Bukkake.
604
00:32:43,795 --> 00:32:46,880
Initiate Operation
Moneyshot. Three.
605
00:32:49,050 --> 00:32:51,426
Two!
606
00:32:51,511 --> 00:32:52,761
One!
607
00:32:52,845 --> 00:32:53,845
[whistling]
608
00:32:53,930 --> 00:32:55,472
[explosion]
609
00:32:57,183 --> 00:32:59,685
[joyous classicaI music]
610
00:33:33,094 --> 00:33:35,345
(Miles)
Ah.
611
00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:37,389
[Ugh.
612
00:33:40,101 --> 00:33:42,686
[chuckling]
Some first date, huh?
613
00:33:42,770 --> 00:33:45,480
[chuckling]
614
00:33:52,864 --> 00:33:54,865
You can say that again.
615
00:33:56,951 --> 00:33:58,869
Well, at least
it's good for the skin.
616
00:33:58,953 --> 00:34:00,120
Yeah.
617
00:34:00,204 --> 00:34:02,372
[triumphant music]
618
00:34:09,005 --> 00:34:10,464
What?
619
00:34:10,548 --> 00:34:12,466
What's the matter?
620
00:34:12,550 --> 00:34:13,633
Nothing.
621
00:34:17,388 --> 00:34:19,806
[triumphant music continues]
622
00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:24,728
Miles!
[music stops]
623
00:34:24,771 --> 00:34:26,396
All right.
624
00:34:26,439 --> 00:34:28,148
Fuck it.
625
00:34:28,232 --> 00:34:29,858
[triumphant music]
626
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:35,822
Hm.
[ominous music]
627
00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:38,283
[grunting]
628
00:34:44,999 --> 00:34:46,583
[spooky music]
629
00:34:55,134 --> 00:34:56,635
Oh, yeah.
Classic cinema.
630
00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:58,178
Wow.
631
00:34:58,262 --> 00:35:01,014
If you liked
Remains of the Day
632
00:35:01,099 --> 00:35:04,351
then you'll cream
over Wadzilla.
633
00:35:04,435 --> 00:35:06,144
You know?
634
00:35:06,229 --> 00:35:07,938
Not enough tits.
635
00:35:08,022 --> 00:35:11,149
Wow. Ryan.
Be your brother much?
636
00:35:11,234 --> 00:35:13,193
Mayna, don't insult me.
637
00:35:13,277 --> 00:35:16,780
(Tobe) Okay, substance
run. I am so thirsty.
638
00:35:16,823 --> 00:35:18,782
Oh, no. Sit tight.
Sit tight. I'll go.
639
00:35:18,825 --> 00:35:21,076
I got this.
I got this one.
640
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:22,410
What?
[background radio]
641
00:35:22,495 --> 00:35:23,620
Nothing.
642
00:35:23,704 --> 00:35:24,955
I just wanna make sure
643
00:35:24,997 --> 00:35:26,498
my friends are well fueled.
644
00:35:26,582 --> 00:35:28,625
(both)
Hm. Sure.
645
00:35:28,709 --> 00:35:30,669
What do you want?
646
00:35:30,753 --> 00:35:32,254
Get me some red vines.
No popcorn.
647
00:35:32,338 --> 00:35:33,839
No corn?
648
00:35:33,923 --> 00:35:35,465
Nope. No popcorn
for me, but,
649
00:35:35,550 --> 00:35:37,676
a Coke would be
delightful, Romeo.
650
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:39,553
All right.
Red Vines. Check.
651
00:35:39,637 --> 00:35:41,972
Coke. Check.
Fuck off. Check.
652
00:35:42,056 --> 00:35:45,851
Back before flick two.
You kids, be good now.
653
00:35:47,503 --> 00:35:49,396
Oh, uh... Milk-Duds.
654
00:35:49,489 --> 00:35:51,473
- Gremlins.
- Yeah!
655
00:35:54,068 --> 00:35:55,193
So...
[sighing]
656
00:35:55,278 --> 00:35:56,695
[clears throat]
Uh...
657
00:35:56,779 --> 00:35:59,573
Robert England
to Kane Hodder. Go.
658
00:35:59,657 --> 00:36:00,907
God, I love you.
659
00:36:00,992 --> 00:36:02,075
What?
660
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:03,368
Uh, nothing, nothing.
661
00:36:03,452 --> 00:36:05,370
Uh, well, that's easy...
662
00:36:05,454 --> 00:36:07,873
(announcer) Stop the
show. [blowing whistle]
663
00:36:07,957 --> 00:36:09,624
Here's news
you want to know.
664
00:36:09,709 --> 00:36:12,169
We just got a shipment of...
665
00:36:12,253 --> 00:36:13,795
(Miller)
Dude!
666
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:15,672
Hey, you get me snackage? Thank you.
667
00:36:15,715 --> 00:36:17,090
Oh, I am?
668
00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:20,010
Come on, cum bubble.
I'm busy.
669
00:36:20,094 --> 00:36:21,052
Hi, Ryan.
670
00:36:21,137 --> 00:36:22,387
Hi, Laura.
671
00:36:22,471 --> 00:36:23,889
You gonna go
talk to Desi?
672
00:36:23,973 --> 00:36:25,557
Why does everyone
know about this?
673
00:36:25,641 --> 00:36:27,100
Popcorn. Extra
butter. Andale.
674
00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:28,894
How about some
money, prick?
675
00:36:28,978 --> 00:36:31,271
Put it on my tab, douche.
[rolling up window]
676
00:36:31,355 --> 00:36:33,231
Asshole.
677
00:36:33,316 --> 00:36:35,692
I think your
brother's cute.
678
00:36:35,735 --> 00:36:37,527
I think my brother's
a fagot.
679
00:36:37,612 --> 00:36:39,362
[cheerful music]
680
00:36:41,949 --> 00:36:44,201
Enjoy the show.
681
00:36:45,036 --> 00:36:46,036
Hi, Des.
682
00:36:46,078 --> 00:36:47,037
Hey, Daddy-O.
683
00:36:47,121 --> 00:36:48,622
What's your tale
nightingale?
684
00:36:48,706 --> 00:36:49,915
Nothing much.
685
00:36:49,999 --> 00:36:51,416
Pretty crazzy outside, huh?
686
00:36:51,500 --> 00:36:52,876
It's never been
this jammin'.
687
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:54,127
It's totally Antsville.
688
00:36:54,212 --> 00:36:55,545
Man.
689
00:36:55,630 --> 00:36:56,963
[chuckling nervously]
690
00:36:57,048 --> 00:36:58,131
Hey, you look
so boss.
691
00:36:58,216 --> 00:36:59,549
You like it?
692
00:36:59,634 --> 00:37:02,459
I thought it'd be appropriate,
last night and all.
693
00:37:02,720 --> 00:37:03,595
Sure.
694
00:37:03,596 --> 00:37:04,804
What can I do
for ya?
695
00:37:04,889 --> 00:37:07,057
Uh...
I need a Twizzlers,
696
00:37:07,099 --> 00:37:09,309
a Coke and a popcorn,
697
00:37:09,393 --> 00:37:11,645
with extra extra
arsenic, please.
698
00:37:11,729 --> 00:37:13,563
That last order
is for big brother?
699
00:37:13,648 --> 00:37:15,273
How could you tell?
700
00:37:15,358 --> 00:37:17,100
Lucky guess.
Let me get that for ya.
701
00:37:17,185 --> 00:37:18,202
Sure.
702
00:37:25,201 --> 00:37:26,993
Snickers! Hey,
I'm sorry.
703
00:37:27,078 --> 00:37:28,453
We're all out of butter...
704
00:37:28,537 --> 00:37:29,913
but I can go get some
real quick.
705
00:37:29,956 --> 00:37:31,414
Nah, it's not a problem,
706
00:37:31,499 --> 00:37:32,958
I don't
wanna hold the line.
707
00:37:33,042 --> 00:37:34,626
(Desi)
Nah, nah, it's okay.
708
00:37:34,710 --> 00:37:37,087
I'll be back in a jiff.
Just hold on, okay?
709
00:37:40,925 --> 00:37:43,468
[moaning and coughing]
710
00:37:43,552 --> 00:37:46,137
[grunting]
711
00:37:50,309 --> 00:37:52,435
[groaning in pain]
712
00:37:54,522 --> 00:37:56,356
[suspenseful music]
713
00:37:59,610 --> 00:38:01,236
[sighing]
714
00:38:06,325 --> 00:38:07,784
[door opening]
715
00:38:12,832 --> 00:38:14,833
Golly.
716
00:38:17,712 --> 00:38:19,671
[suspenseful music]
717
00:38:19,755 --> 00:38:21,798
Beach, blanket,
718
00:38:21,882 --> 00:38:23,383
bingo!
719
00:38:23,467 --> 00:38:25,093
Hm. It's open.
720
00:38:25,177 --> 00:38:27,971
[indistinct]
721
00:38:32,435 --> 00:38:34,060
[door closing]
722
00:38:38,649 --> 00:38:40,066
[gurgling]
723
00:38:43,154 --> 00:38:46,406
So how's the car? I saw you on
King last week, pretty cherry.
724
00:38:46,490 --> 00:38:49,326
You liked it? I got it right
outside if you wanna take a look.
725
00:38:49,368 --> 00:38:50,994
Nifty. Really?
726
00:38:51,037 --> 00:38:53,496
You know. Maybe before
I hit back upstate,
727
00:38:53,581 --> 00:38:55,123
I'd like to take you
for a drive.
728
00:38:55,207 --> 00:38:58,418
Gee whizz. Um, yeah,
but only if you come.
729
00:38:58,502 --> 00:39:00,712
[chuckling]
Hey, now.
730
00:39:00,796 --> 00:39:02,505
[Mr. K. over radio]
Well, kiddies.
731
00:39:02,590 --> 00:39:04,424
Ready for another rush
732
00:39:04,508 --> 00:39:08,219
rock and shock and roll?
[laughing viciously]
733
00:39:08,304 --> 00:39:10,096
Shit. To be continued.
734
00:39:10,181 --> 00:39:13,016
Absolutely, big tickler.
Come back after this one?
735
00:39:13,059 --> 00:39:14,684
That's a promise, Suzzy Q.
736
00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:16,353
Ryan?
737
00:39:16,437 --> 00:39:17,854
Yeah.
738
00:39:17,938 --> 00:39:19,898
That's ten dollars.
739
00:39:19,982 --> 00:39:21,232
Ah! Right. Right.
740
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:25,779
Come back, okay?
741
00:39:25,863 --> 00:39:28,406
Swearzzies. Hope to die.
Later gator.
742
00:39:28,491 --> 00:39:29,866
After a while, crocodile.
743
00:39:35,039 --> 00:39:36,915
Nice.
744
00:39:36,999 --> 00:39:39,626
(Mr. K.) This next
class of cinematic sin
745
00:39:39,710 --> 00:39:42,462
stems from the outer reaches
746
00:39:42,546 --> 00:39:45,590
of Planet Taboo.
747
00:39:45,674 --> 00:39:48,927
So buckle up
your seat belts...
748
00:39:49,011 --> 00:39:50,261
(Ryan)
Hey!
749
00:39:50,346 --> 00:39:52,472
Hello?
[thump]
750
00:39:52,556 --> 00:39:54,140
Dude, fuck-head,
my door!
751
00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:56,142
There's your fucking popcorn.
752
00:39:56,227 --> 00:39:57,435
Thanks, Ryan!
753
00:39:57,520 --> 00:39:59,104
Penis.
754
00:39:59,188 --> 00:40:04,651
About to unleash
the fantastic furry fury
755
00:40:04,735 --> 00:40:10,240
ofl Was a Teenage Werebear.
756
00:40:10,324 --> 00:40:12,909
[barking and howling]
757
00:40:12,952 --> 00:40:16,496
[howling]
758
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:25,588
[male voice on radio] Mark
the Shark rocking down the PCH
759
00:40:25,673 --> 00:40:27,298
with NBH.
760
00:40:27,383 --> 00:40:30,093
Yeah, baby,
Bobby Vinton.
761
00:40:30,177 --> 00:40:32,595
[woman moaning wildly]
762
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:35,432
[soft pop music]
763
00:40:35,516 --> 00:40:37,851
[woman laughing wildly]
764
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:45,108
Peggy Lou, if you keep
groping like an octopus
765
00:40:45,192 --> 00:40:47,777
I'm gonna have to
tell you [indistinct]
766
00:40:47,862 --> 00:40:50,113
Now I'm gonna make
you love me like Elvis.
767
00:40:50,156 --> 00:40:51,698
Geezz, me just met
last week
768
00:40:51,782 --> 00:40:53,491
ain't you ever heard
of taking it slow?
769
00:40:53,576 --> 00:40:55,785
Slow is
for old-fashioned girls,
770
00:40:55,870 --> 00:40:58,163
not a modern woman
like me, now get over here.
771
00:40:58,247 --> 00:40:59,956
Are all the girls
in Malibu like you?
772
00:40:59,999 --> 00:41:02,250
Ricky, don't you
like boobies?
773
00:41:02,334 --> 00:41:03,334
(kid)
Hey, Ricky!
774
00:41:03,419 --> 00:41:05,295
President Kennedy
775
00:41:05,379 --> 00:41:08,381
says we're going to
the moon! [chuckling]
776
00:41:08,466 --> 00:41:10,383
[indistinct]
777
00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:12,385
I see you finally found
your pot of gold, son.
778
00:41:12,470 --> 00:41:14,679
Hi, Mr. O'Reilly.
Hi, Jimmy.
779
00:41:14,763 --> 00:41:17,223
(father) Top 'o the mornin'
to ya las. I bless you child,
780
00:41:17,308 --> 00:41:19,809
for finally putting
Irish whiskey [indistinct]
781
00:41:19,894 --> 00:41:21,519
Cut it, dad.
Nothing happened.
782
00:41:21,604 --> 00:41:23,605
Rickie's mother,
God rest her soul,
783
00:41:23,689 --> 00:41:26,566
never was much for Irish
whiskey, if you know what I mean.
784
00:41:26,650 --> 00:41:28,401
Oh, you poor
old thing.
785
00:41:28,486 --> 00:41:30,862
It's been a long,
lonely life.
786
00:41:30,946 --> 00:41:32,655
Everybody, shut up!
787
00:41:34,575 --> 00:41:36,534
What are you two
even doing here, anyway?
788
00:41:36,619 --> 00:41:39,579
You forgot your lunch for
school on the beach day, dumdum.
789
00:41:39,663 --> 00:41:41,164
[playful chord]
790
00:41:41,248 --> 00:41:45,877
Oh, you're
tearing me apart!
791
00:41:45,961 --> 00:41:48,838
[funny car horn]
792
00:41:48,923 --> 00:41:50,590
[sighing]
793
00:41:50,674 --> 00:41:53,551
I swear, I'll never be like my old man.
794
00:41:53,636 --> 00:41:55,845
He's such a perv.
795
00:41:55,930 --> 00:41:57,680
Oh, Rickie,
he isn't all that bad
796
00:41:57,723 --> 00:42:00,141
he just wants
what's best for his son.
797
00:42:00,226 --> 00:42:04,270
I just don't wanna be another washed
up jock slash war vet like him.
798
00:42:04,355 --> 00:42:06,022
There's more to life.
799
00:42:06,106 --> 00:42:09,943
No, there's more
to me than,
800
00:42:10,027 --> 00:42:13,363
bouncing balls
[indistinct]
801
00:42:13,447 --> 00:42:14,864
More to life
than us?
802
00:42:14,907 --> 00:42:16,616
[silly chuckle]
803
00:42:16,700 --> 00:42:19,953
Ricky Patrick O'Reilly,
you're doing it again.
804
00:42:20,037 --> 00:42:21,788
Doing what?
805
00:42:21,872 --> 00:42:24,082
You're looking away.
806
00:42:30,965 --> 00:42:34,634
� Is it something I do
It it something I say, �
807
00:42:34,718 --> 00:42:38,555
� Every time I'm with you
I see you looking away �
808
00:42:38,597 --> 00:42:42,225
� They say the eyes are The souI,
doorway straight To your heart �
809
00:42:42,268 --> 00:42:44,143
� If you won't
Ever stay close �
810
00:42:44,228 --> 00:42:48,189
� It's like
I just cut a fart �
811
00:42:50,192 --> 00:42:53,403
� Don't look away, baby �
812
00:42:53,445 --> 00:42:56,823
� Please, don't look away �
813
00:42:56,907 --> 00:43:00,285
� Stare me straight
In the eyes �
814
00:43:00,369 --> 00:43:04,664
� With our hands
Between my thighs �
815
00:43:04,748 --> 00:43:09,377
� So please don't look away �
816
00:43:16,802 --> 00:43:20,179
� Baby give me some time
So I can make up my mind �
817
00:43:20,264 --> 00:43:21,931
� Just know
That it isn't you �
818
00:43:22,016 --> 00:43:23,933
� These feelings
Make me so blue �
819
00:43:24,018 --> 00:43:25,935
� I'm trying
Real hard to find �
820
00:43:25,978 --> 00:43:27,687
� The one
That makes me feel right �
821
00:43:27,771 --> 00:43:29,647
� Till then I guess
That it's you �
822
00:43:29,732 --> 00:43:32,692
� That's just the best
I can do �
823
00:43:32,776 --> 00:43:37,196
� So I look away, baby �
824
00:43:37,281 --> 00:43:40,617
� I guess I'll look away �
825
00:43:40,701 --> 00:43:44,495
� I can't take our eyes �
826
00:43:44,580 --> 00:43:48,041
� For you might see
The lies �
827
00:43:48,125 --> 00:43:53,546
� So I will look away �
828
00:43:56,842 --> 00:43:58,635
� Don't look away �
829
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:00,553
� I think
I'll look away �
830
00:44:00,638 --> 00:44:02,180
� Please
Don't look away �
831
00:44:02,264 --> 00:44:04,307
� I guess I'll look away �
832
00:44:04,391 --> 00:44:06,559
� Stare me straight
In the eye �
833
00:44:06,644 --> 00:44:08,144
� I can't take your eyes �
834
00:44:08,228 --> 00:44:10,063
� Place your hands
Between my thighs �
835
00:44:10,147 --> 00:44:12,690
� For you might see
The lies �
836
00:44:15,778 --> 00:44:17,654
� Don't look away �
837
00:44:17,738 --> 00:44:19,489
(Ricky)
� I think I'll look away �
838
00:44:19,573 --> 00:44:21,658
� Tear me up inside �
839
00:44:21,700 --> 00:44:24,410
� You make me
Wanna go hide �
840
00:44:24,495 --> 00:44:27,914
(Ricky)
�� I think I'll look away ��
841
00:44:27,998 --> 00:44:30,708
[tires screeching]
842
00:44:30,793 --> 00:44:32,752
[engine roaring]
843
00:44:34,421 --> 00:44:36,172
[screaming]
844
00:44:36,256 --> 00:44:38,633
[loud crash]
845
00:44:38,717 --> 00:44:40,259
You saved me.
846
00:44:40,344 --> 00:44:42,345
Quite observant.
847
00:44:42,388 --> 00:44:46,015
Whoa. You dented
my Bronco.
848
00:44:46,058 --> 00:44:47,433
(Ricky)
You dented her.
849
00:44:47,518 --> 00:44:51,104
I got a boo boo.
[laughing]
850
00:44:51,188 --> 00:44:53,773
I see the new kid's making
nice with the other team.
851
00:44:53,857 --> 00:44:56,734
What team would that be, Butch?
852
00:44:56,819 --> 00:44:58,778
The team
853
00:44:58,862 --> 00:45:01,656
no God-fearing
red-blooded American
854
00:45:01,740 --> 00:45:03,950
would be caught
dead playing for.
855
00:45:04,034 --> 00:45:05,576
I toss balls
with the boys.
856
00:45:05,661 --> 00:45:08,454
[scoffing]
Exactly.
857
00:45:08,539 --> 00:45:10,206
[all laughing]
858
00:45:10,290 --> 00:45:12,041
[kissing]
859
00:45:12,126 --> 00:45:13,918
(Ricky) Look, Butch. She needs help.
860
00:45:14,002 --> 00:45:17,130
The kind of help that
bird needs ain't gonna come
861
00:45:17,214 --> 00:45:19,757
from a Melvin like you.
862
00:45:19,842 --> 00:45:21,050
(all)
Ooooh.
863
00:45:23,220 --> 00:45:26,597
See ya in class,
bitch sticks.
864
00:45:26,682 --> 00:45:27,890
(all chuckling)
865
00:45:29,643 --> 00:45:31,060
She don't
look so good.
866
00:45:31,103 --> 00:45:32,520
(Talon)
I've seen worse.
867
00:45:32,604 --> 00:45:33,938
[chuckling]
868
00:45:34,022 --> 00:45:36,065
I don't know
how to thank you.
869
00:45:36,108 --> 00:45:39,444
You'll think of something.
They always think of something.
870
00:45:39,528 --> 00:45:41,487
Wait. What's your names?
871
00:45:43,490 --> 00:45:47,160
Talon. Dan. Den.
872
00:45:47,244 --> 00:45:48,286
I'm...
873
00:45:48,370 --> 00:45:50,663
Ricky. We know.
874
00:46:05,095 --> 00:46:08,598
[foreign accent] You did good
bringing her to me.
875
00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:12,518
With a little snoozze she'll
be A-okay. [background ocean]
876
00:46:12,603 --> 00:46:14,771
Shouldn't we bring
her to the hospital?
877
00:46:14,855 --> 00:46:17,190
� You got a pee pee
Stick it in my poo poo �
878
00:46:17,274 --> 00:46:19,108
�� Make it go boom! ��
879
00:46:19,193 --> 00:46:23,321
The brains, they spill
a little bit crazy. She fine.
880
00:46:23,405 --> 00:46:27,992
[eerie, echoing male voice]
Ricky. Ricky.
881
00:46:31,246 --> 00:46:34,624
[echoing]
Go away, you nasty beasty!
882
00:46:34,708 --> 00:46:39,295
Take your filthy vermin with you.
Shoo, shoo, shoo. Shoo!
883
00:46:39,379 --> 00:46:43,508
[triumphant romantic music]
884
00:47:08,242 --> 00:47:09,617
(Nurse Maleva)
Shoo!
885
00:47:09,701 --> 00:47:11,661
Shoo!
886
00:47:11,745 --> 00:47:17,208
Take your foul animules with you.
Shoo. Shoo.
887
00:47:17,292 --> 00:47:21,170
You stay away
from those kind.
888
00:47:21,213 --> 00:47:24,215
Yeah, well those
kind saved me.
889
00:47:28,554 --> 00:47:32,890
[cheerful music]
890
00:47:56,373 --> 00:47:57,456
[whistle blowing]
891
00:47:57,541 --> 00:47:59,792
[audience booing]
892
00:47:59,877 --> 00:48:02,295
So Big Bad Butch
ain't so bad after all.
893
00:48:02,379 --> 00:48:04,297
Aw, the heck
with that, coach!
894
00:48:04,381 --> 00:48:06,549
Tinker Bell
didn't pin me.
895
00:48:06,633 --> 00:48:08,342
I was distracted.
896
00:48:08,427 --> 00:48:09,886
[giggling]
897
00:48:09,928 --> 00:48:11,095
[chuckling]
All right. Who's next?
898
00:48:11,179 --> 00:48:12,972
(Talon)
Me.
899
00:48:13,056 --> 00:48:16,475
(coach) Oh, so I see Mr. Ducktale
900
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:19,645
finally decided to join us
in class this semester.
901
00:48:19,730 --> 00:48:21,647
Couldn't get a note
from your quack?
902
00:48:21,732 --> 00:48:23,107
Them two are sweet
on each other.
903
00:48:23,191 --> 00:48:24,942
Take that
back, Butch!
904
00:48:25,027 --> 00:48:27,403
(coach) Yo! Yo! Save it for the mat.
905
00:48:27,487 --> 00:48:28,821
I don't mind if I do.
906
00:48:28,906 --> 00:48:31,490
[hard rock music]
907
00:48:31,575 --> 00:48:34,076
[both grunting and groaning]
908
00:48:36,997 --> 00:48:38,289
Give in, Rick.
909
00:48:38,373 --> 00:48:39,415
Give in to me.
910
00:48:39,499 --> 00:48:40,750
Never!
911
00:48:40,792 --> 00:48:42,168
You can run from me
912
00:48:42,252 --> 00:48:45,588
but you can't run
from yourself.
913
00:48:45,631 --> 00:48:47,340
Get off me now!
914
00:48:47,424 --> 00:48:50,259
[horror music]
915
00:48:50,344 --> 00:48:52,428
[growling]
916
00:48:52,512 --> 00:48:54,013
[shouting]
917
00:48:54,097 --> 00:48:56,265
Yo, what did I tell
you about biting?
918
00:48:56,308 --> 00:48:58,935
(Talon) Sorry, coach,
I skipped breakfast.
919
00:48:59,019 --> 00:49:02,647
(coach) Skipped breakfast? Wiseguy,
huh? Okay, three mile run everybody
920
00:49:02,731 --> 00:49:04,690
you can all thank
wiseguy over here.
921
00:49:04,775 --> 00:49:06,108
Everybody let's go.
922
00:49:06,151 --> 00:49:08,319
Come on. Get go.
Get going.
923
00:49:20,832 --> 00:49:21,916
[thump]
924
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,710
� I got a feeling �
925
00:49:24,795 --> 00:49:27,797
� A feeling
That I'm gonna explode �
926
00:49:27,881 --> 00:49:31,092
� Yes, I've got this feeling �
927
00:49:31,176 --> 00:49:35,304
� How much longer
Must I hold my load? �
928
00:49:37,057 --> 00:49:41,644
� Oh, what do I do? �
929
00:49:44,898 --> 00:49:46,565
� Purge this urge �
930
00:49:46,650 --> 00:49:49,902
� Oh, God, I really
Gotta purge this urge �
931
00:49:49,987 --> 00:49:52,697
� If nothing else
I've gotta purge �
932
00:49:52,781 --> 00:49:55,199
� This urge �
933
00:49:55,283 --> 00:49:58,327
� Ooh Ooh �
934
00:50:00,998 --> 00:50:02,748
� Purge this urge �
935
00:50:04,418 --> 00:50:06,627
� The time is coming �
936
00:50:09,172 --> 00:50:10,923
� When I gotta choose �
937
00:50:11,008 --> 00:50:13,050
� There's no more hiding �
938
00:50:15,095 --> 00:50:17,972
� No more playing
By the boss man's rules �
939
00:50:19,850 --> 00:50:24,311
� I've got to find
My own way �
940
00:50:27,274 --> 00:50:28,482
�� Purge this urge! ��
941
00:50:28,567 --> 00:50:30,276
[music stops abruptly]
942
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:32,611
Is there something you
wanna talk about, kid?
943
00:50:32,696 --> 00:50:34,280
[ bell ringing]
944
00:50:34,364 --> 00:50:36,615
(Ricky)
My mother, before she died,
945
00:50:36,700 --> 00:50:39,410
she said, "Ricky,
946
00:50:39,494 --> 00:50:43,247
always be true to yourself".
And I try to be.
947
00:50:43,331 --> 00:50:48,169
But I get these feelings.
948
00:50:48,253 --> 00:50:51,630
Uh, these, urges.
949
00:50:53,884 --> 00:50:58,220
And they feel true,
they feel so right.
950
00:50:58,263 --> 00:51:01,557
But,
951
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:03,476
so wrong.
952
00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:06,562
Ricky, it may come
as a surprise to you, kid.
953
00:51:06,646 --> 00:51:09,732
Coach Tuffman gets
those kind of urges too.
954
00:51:09,775 --> 00:51:12,485
You don't think I,
[chuckling]
955
00:51:12,569 --> 00:51:15,404
watch you guys
shower after class?
956
00:51:15,489 --> 00:51:18,491
Soaping up your biceps,
957
00:51:18,575 --> 00:51:19,992
your abs,
958
00:51:20,077 --> 00:51:21,660
glutes.
959
00:51:21,745 --> 00:51:24,455
Whoa. I think it's time
for me to bug out.
960
00:51:24,539 --> 00:51:26,999
Ricky, sit down. Relax.
961
00:51:27,084 --> 00:51:29,502
This is between
me and you, right?
962
00:51:29,586 --> 00:51:34,256
I'm gonna do something for you
my wife will never do for me.
963
00:51:34,341 --> 00:51:36,175
That dusty old wench.
[chuckling]
964
00:51:36,259 --> 00:51:39,303
Hey!
965
00:51:39,387 --> 00:51:40,971
[coach, groaning]
966
00:51:41,056 --> 00:51:43,349
[suspenseful music]
967
00:51:48,105 --> 00:51:49,563
[both shouting]
968
00:51:58,698 --> 00:52:01,033
Tastes like chicken,
huh, babe?
969
00:52:01,118 --> 00:52:04,578
[sad music]
970
00:52:09,251 --> 00:52:11,168
I don't know
what's happening to me.
971
00:52:11,253 --> 00:52:15,172
It's as if suddenly I have
this strength, that, like...
972
00:52:15,257 --> 00:52:17,508
Of a grizzzzly?
973
00:52:17,592 --> 00:52:20,553
Listen. Don't
have a cow.
974
00:52:20,637 --> 00:52:23,055
We got your back.
975
00:52:23,140 --> 00:52:25,057
You did this.
976
00:52:25,142 --> 00:52:29,645
It was your bite!
My ass!
977
00:52:29,729 --> 00:52:33,858
What? What are you?
978
00:52:33,942 --> 00:52:36,986
The same as you.
979
00:52:37,028 --> 00:52:39,488
(Butch)
Oooh.
980
00:52:39,573 --> 00:52:41,782
Look who we've got here.
981
00:52:41,867 --> 00:52:44,243
Clean up for coach
like good little boys?
982
00:52:44,327 --> 00:52:46,370
More like
cleaning up coach.
983
00:52:46,454 --> 00:52:48,038
[guys laughing]
984
00:52:48,123 --> 00:52:51,834
Time to teach the
fairy brigade a lesson.
985
00:52:51,918 --> 00:52:53,002
[bell ringing]
986
00:52:53,044 --> 00:52:54,378
Ugh.
987
00:52:54,462 --> 00:52:56,172
(Butch)
My pops told me
988
00:52:56,256 --> 00:52:58,507
this is how you teach
lessons to pansies
989
00:52:58,550 --> 00:53:00,009
in prison.
990
00:53:00,093 --> 00:53:03,095
Sounds like pops
knows how to party.
991
00:53:03,180 --> 00:53:04,388
Leave him
alone, Butch!
992
00:53:04,472 --> 00:53:06,765
Shut up,
Nancy boy!
993
00:53:06,850 --> 00:53:08,225
You're next.
994
00:53:08,310 --> 00:53:10,603
Gentlemen.
995
00:53:10,687 --> 00:53:13,898
[all chanting] Plug him up!
Plug him up! Plug him up!
996
00:53:13,982 --> 00:53:17,568
Plug him up! Plug him up! Plug him up!
997
00:53:17,652 --> 00:53:19,737
This is for you, Jesus.
998
00:53:19,821 --> 00:53:21,071
[grunting]
999
00:53:21,156 --> 00:53:25,868
Plug him up!
Plug him up!
1000
00:53:25,952 --> 00:53:27,620
[chuckling]
1001
00:53:27,704 --> 00:53:30,080
Plug him up!
Plug him up!
1002
00:53:30,165 --> 00:53:31,290
[growling]
1003
00:53:31,374 --> 00:53:32,708
[suspenseful music]
1004
00:53:32,751 --> 00:53:34,126
Plug him up!
1005
00:53:34,211 --> 00:53:36,921
[loud growling
and horror chord]
1006
00:53:41,551 --> 00:53:44,470
[roaring]
1007
00:53:44,554 --> 00:53:47,139
[shrill scream]
1008
00:53:47,224 --> 00:53:48,766
You okay, dude?
1009
00:53:48,850 --> 00:53:51,644
[Butch, giggling hysterically]
1010
00:53:51,728 --> 00:53:53,729
Man, I was just playing.
1011
00:53:53,813 --> 00:53:55,314
It was just a joke.
1012
00:53:55,398 --> 00:53:57,733
It's a party, daddy Os!
1013
00:53:57,776 --> 00:53:58,776
[swoosh]
1014
00:53:58,860 --> 00:54:00,986
[screaming]
1015
00:54:01,071 --> 00:54:04,240
[intense rock music]
1016
00:54:04,324 --> 00:54:06,242
Ugh!
1017
00:54:06,326 --> 00:54:07,618
[slap]
1018
00:54:07,702 --> 00:54:09,828
[shouting]
1019
00:54:09,913 --> 00:54:11,080
[crying]
1020
00:54:11,164 --> 00:54:13,499
[shouting]
1021
00:54:15,961 --> 00:54:17,795
[playful music]
1022
00:54:20,048 --> 00:54:22,299
[intense rock music
and crying]
1023
00:54:25,512 --> 00:54:28,055
I never promised
I'd be gentle.
1024
00:54:34,604 --> 00:54:37,523
Now you know what we are.
And what you are!
1025
00:54:37,607 --> 00:54:39,441
(Ricky) No. I'm not like any of you.
1026
00:54:44,823 --> 00:54:46,824
Angsty little dude.
1027
00:54:46,908 --> 00:54:48,993
[shouting]
1028
00:54:49,077 --> 00:54:50,953
My darling.
It's good for your head.
1029
00:54:51,037 --> 00:54:52,871
Call me, Sybill!
1030
00:54:52,956 --> 00:54:54,373
Nurse Maleva,
you've gotta help me.
1031
00:54:54,457 --> 00:54:56,959
Just calm down.
Tell me everything.
1032
00:54:57,043 --> 00:54:58,877
You were right.
Talon, the twins,
1033
00:54:58,962 --> 00:55:01,672
they're not just different,
they're... They're...
1034
00:55:01,756 --> 00:55:03,382
Werebears.
1035
00:55:03,466 --> 00:55:04,800
Werebears!
1036
00:55:04,884 --> 00:55:06,343
I'm sorry.
I don't understand.
1037
00:55:06,428 --> 00:55:10,639
Where I am from,
there is old saying
1038
00:55:10,724 --> 00:55:14,226
Even a boy
who thinks he's straight
1039
00:55:14,311 --> 00:55:16,812
yet shaves
his balls by night,
1040
00:55:16,855 --> 00:55:20,482
may become a Werebear
from the hormones of age
1041
00:55:20,567 --> 00:55:23,819
and the latent urge
takes flight.
1042
00:55:23,903 --> 00:55:25,446
So you're saying...
1043
00:55:25,530 --> 00:55:28,073
Once bitten,
anytime you get aroused,
1044
00:55:28,158 --> 00:55:30,326
you become that
which bit you.
1045
00:55:30,368 --> 00:55:31,744
And you attack
those you lust after.
1046
00:55:31,828 --> 00:55:33,370
Lust after?
1047
00:55:33,455 --> 00:55:38,167
I think you know
what I'm talking about.
1048
00:55:38,251 --> 00:55:39,877
[playful ping]
1049
00:55:39,961 --> 00:55:41,337
Homo!
1050
00:55:41,421 --> 00:55:43,714
No. I am
not a homo!
1051
00:55:43,798 --> 00:55:47,009
I'm a, Werebear.
1052
00:55:47,052 --> 00:55:48,927
[ominous chord]
1053
00:55:49,012 --> 00:55:51,638
[cheerful rock music]
1054
00:56:03,651 --> 00:56:05,027
Looking for these?
1055
00:56:05,111 --> 00:56:06,862
[sighing]
1056
00:56:09,824 --> 00:56:11,200
I'm going to the police.
1057
00:56:11,284 --> 00:56:14,203
Well, don't forget
to tell them
1058
00:56:14,287 --> 00:56:16,622
what you did to good old
Coach Tuffman.
1059
00:56:16,706 --> 00:56:18,374
He was trying to molest me.
1060
00:56:18,416 --> 00:56:20,125
Ricky. Ricky. Ricky.
1061
00:56:20,210 --> 00:56:21,794
You can't molest
the willing.
1062
00:56:21,878 --> 00:56:23,212
[growling]
1063
00:56:23,254 --> 00:56:26,965
[light growl]
1064
00:56:27,050 --> 00:56:30,886
You're such a cub,
Ricky. All show and no go.
1065
00:56:30,929 --> 00:56:34,807
Who's talking about not being like
everybody else, you just wanna be you.
1066
00:56:34,891 --> 00:56:36,809
This is you.
1067
00:56:36,893 --> 00:56:40,604
No. You did this to me.
1068
00:56:40,688 --> 00:56:43,399
[thump] You could ask
yourself a question, brother.
1069
00:56:43,441 --> 00:56:47,319
[panting] Did the bite
put the beast in you?
1070
00:56:47,404 --> 00:56:49,863
Or let it out.
1071
00:56:53,034 --> 00:56:55,702
[snapping]
1072
00:56:59,916 --> 00:57:04,628
� Love, love, love
Bit me on the ass �
1073
00:57:04,712 --> 00:57:07,089
� Love bit me on the ass �
1074
00:57:07,132 --> 00:57:09,341
� It got me by surprise �
1075
00:57:09,426 --> 00:57:11,593
� Love bit me on the ass �
1076
00:57:11,636 --> 00:57:14,138
� Took teeth to realizze �
1077
00:57:14,222 --> 00:57:16,932
� That I'm just
A lonely boy �
1078
00:57:17,016 --> 00:57:19,268
� Yes, deep down I'm blue �
1079
00:57:19,352 --> 00:57:21,687
� But when I'm
unleash the beast �
1080
00:57:21,771 --> 00:57:24,356
� To myself I'm true �
1081
00:57:24,441 --> 00:57:32,116
� Love, love, love,
Bit me on the ass �
1082
00:57:32,117 --> 00:57:34,117
� Love, love, love,
Bit me on the ass �
1083
00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:36,785
� Love bit me on the ass �
1084
00:57:36,870 --> 00:57:39,288
� Bit me deep down too �
1085
00:57:39,372 --> 00:57:41,457
� Love bit me on the ass �
1086
00:57:41,499 --> 00:57:43,459
� But no way am I like you �
1087
00:57:43,501 --> 00:57:46,462
� I may be quite different �
1088
00:57:46,546 --> 00:57:48,380
� But I am not a beast �
1089
00:57:48,465 --> 00:57:51,383
� I just want to cuddle �
1090
00:57:51,468 --> 00:57:53,760
� And you just wanna feast �
1091
00:57:53,845 --> 00:58:01,666
� Love, love, love,
Bit me on the ass �
1092
00:58:01,667 --> 00:58:09,567
� Love, love, love,
Bit me on the ass �
1093
00:58:09,568 --> 00:58:17,468
� Love, love, love,
Bit me on the ass �
1094
00:58:17,469 --> 00:58:24,208
� Love, love, love,
Bit me on the ass �
1095
00:58:24,209 --> 00:58:27,002
�� Love, love, love ��
1096
00:58:27,045 --> 00:58:28,462
[both, growling]
1097
00:58:33,801 --> 00:58:38,013
Meet me tonight at the luau.
It's gonna be a bloodbath.
1098
00:58:38,097 --> 00:58:41,558
What do you mean
[growling] with "bloodbath"?
1099
00:58:41,643 --> 00:58:45,062
It means that the guys are gonna
shake things up at the school dance.
1100
00:58:45,146 --> 00:58:48,524
Payback time for those
small-minded haters. [chuckling]
1101
00:58:48,608 --> 00:58:51,527
I can't be
part of that, Talon.
1102
00:58:51,611 --> 00:58:53,278
You can't be part of that.
1103
00:58:53,363 --> 00:58:56,114
This is not
how you gain acceptance.
1104
00:58:56,199 --> 00:58:59,368
[panting]
1105
00:58:59,410 --> 00:59:04,998
Well, then I guess I'll
see ya when I'll see ya.
1106
00:59:17,971 --> 00:59:21,098
[soft pop music]
1107
00:59:26,104 --> 00:59:29,398
� I saw you dancing �
1108
00:59:29,482 --> 00:59:32,609
� Barefoot in the sand �
1109
00:59:36,447 --> 00:59:41,243
� I can love you
Like no other can �
1110
00:59:41,327 --> 00:59:46,248
� Sexy ways
Sexy ways �
1111
00:59:46,291 --> 00:59:50,836
�� Sexy ways
Sexy ways ��
1112
00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:53,338
[applause]
1113
00:59:53,423 --> 00:59:55,757
[audience booing]
1114
00:59:58,469 --> 01:00:02,514
You've all given us such a warm
welcome this first week at school.
1115
01:00:02,599 --> 01:00:05,267
You definitely deserve
this next number, it's, uh,
1116
01:00:05,351 --> 01:00:08,353
It's pretty bear-tastic.
1117
01:00:08,438 --> 01:00:12,691
[rock music begins]
1118
01:00:20,783 --> 01:00:24,161
� Well, we got a new dance
It's the hit of the land �
1119
01:00:27,081 --> 01:00:30,709
� All you gotta do
is thrust when you stand �
1120
01:00:32,629 --> 01:00:35,881
� [indistinct]a squeal,
a grunt, and a squirt �
1121
01:00:38,134 --> 01:00:43,305
� Yeah, it's called the Warebear
And it just might hurt �
1122
01:00:43,348 --> 01:00:45,641
� Let's do the Werebear �
1123
01:00:45,725 --> 01:00:49,478
� And let
The Werebear do you �
1124
01:00:49,520 --> 01:00:52,356
� Let's do the Werebear �
1125
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:56,652
� Right here in Malibu �
1126
01:00:59,572 --> 01:01:01,615
(all)
Yeah!
1127
01:01:01,699 --> 01:01:05,494
� Sweeping the nation Just
like civil rights Werebear �
1128
01:01:05,578 --> 01:01:10,374
� It's the latest sensation
For long long lonely nights �
1129
01:01:10,458 --> 01:01:12,626
� Werebear �
1130
01:01:12,710 --> 01:01:14,670
I knew you would
come, son.
1131
01:01:14,754 --> 01:01:17,005
� Four, three, two, thrust �
1132
01:01:17,048 --> 01:01:19,549
I know now what
I must do, Maleva.
1133
01:01:19,634 --> 01:01:21,593
� Three, thrust �
1134
01:01:21,678 --> 01:01:25,847
� I wanna do it again
Let's do the Werebear �
1135
01:01:25,932 --> 01:01:29,393
� And let
The Werebear do you �
1136
01:01:29,477 --> 01:01:31,687
� Let's do the Werebear �
1137
01:01:31,771 --> 01:01:36,233
� Right here in Malibu �
1138
01:01:39,946 --> 01:01:41,238
Yeah!
1139
01:01:41,322 --> 01:01:44,282
� One, two, three, thrust �
1140
01:01:44,367 --> 01:01:46,618
[moaning]
1141
01:01:46,703 --> 01:01:49,871
� One, two, three, thrust
One, two, three, thrust �
1142
01:01:49,956 --> 01:01:52,749
[growling]
� Do it again �
1143
01:01:52,834 --> 01:01:54,584
[moaning]
1144
01:01:54,669 --> 01:01:59,047
� One, two, three, thrust
Oh, it never has to end �
1145
01:01:59,132 --> 01:02:01,967
� One, two, three, thrust
One, two, three, thrust �
1146
01:02:02,051 --> 01:02:05,387
[growling and shouting]
1147
01:02:05,471 --> 01:02:07,389
�� One, two, three,
Thrust, oh! ��
1148
01:02:07,473 --> 01:02:08,598
� Everybody gather round �
1149
01:02:08,683 --> 01:02:10,392
[audience gasping]
1150
01:02:10,476 --> 01:02:12,978
� You better not let
This madness go down �
1151
01:02:13,062 --> 01:02:16,982
� They got good lines
They fuck real good �
1152
01:02:17,066 --> 01:02:21,653
�� But they just want
To make you their food ��
1153
01:02:24,532 --> 01:02:26,032
Yeah!
1154
01:02:26,117 --> 01:02:27,784
[music stops]
1155
01:02:27,869 --> 01:02:30,412
[both growling]
1156
01:02:30,496 --> 01:02:33,749
Violence and hatred
is not the answer.
1157
01:02:33,833 --> 01:02:38,336
If we are to be accepted we
must show love and tolerance.
1158
01:02:38,421 --> 01:02:41,381
There are human beings
out there, Talon.
1159
01:02:41,466 --> 01:02:43,675
Not snacks.
1160
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:45,343
[chuckling]
1161
01:02:45,428 --> 01:02:48,513
Nice speech, Gandhi.
1162
01:02:48,598 --> 01:02:51,850
But we're hungry!
[suspenseful music]
1163
01:02:51,934 --> 01:02:53,685
[shouting]
1164
01:02:53,770 --> 01:02:56,313
[ominous music]
1165
01:02:56,397 --> 01:03:02,110
[general screaming
and growling]
1166
01:03:02,195 --> 01:03:05,947
[suspenseful music continues]
1167
01:03:06,032 --> 01:03:08,325
(Talon) I freed you from
a life of conformity.
1168
01:03:08,409 --> 01:03:11,453
I unleashed you
from the mundane.
1169
01:03:11,496 --> 01:03:13,121
[punches and screaming]
1170
01:03:15,416 --> 01:03:19,002
(Ricky) You chained me
to a life of bloodloss!
1171
01:03:39,524 --> 01:03:40,774
[shouting]
1172
01:03:43,528 --> 01:03:45,237
[screaming]
1173
01:03:51,077 --> 01:03:52,118
[shouting]
1174
01:03:58,000 --> 01:03:59,501
Help me, Maleva!
1175
01:04:02,088 --> 01:04:06,550
(Maleva) Yes, Ricky.
You know what to do.
1176
01:04:06,634 --> 01:04:09,219
[shouting
and suspenseful chord]
1177
01:04:16,227 --> 01:04:18,979
[both panting]
1178
01:04:23,526 --> 01:04:25,902
[sad music]
Maybe...
1179
01:04:25,987 --> 01:04:29,781
I should've been
more like you.
1180
01:04:29,866 --> 01:04:33,118
We can change
the world together.
1181
01:04:33,202 --> 01:04:35,120
You still can.
1182
01:04:35,204 --> 01:04:39,040
[panting]
Go get 'em, kid.
1183
01:04:39,125 --> 01:04:41,042
Make sure
1184
01:04:41,085 --> 01:04:44,838
you tell them
that I'm not a monster.
1185
01:04:46,924 --> 01:04:50,010
You know, Werebears
need love too.
1186
01:05:07,987 --> 01:05:10,071
[howling]
1187
01:05:15,328 --> 01:05:17,662
(Tobe)
Wow. Not enough gay.
1188
01:05:17,747 --> 01:05:21,166
(Ryan) Yeah, I mean, De Palma,
ripping this off for Carrey?
1189
01:05:21,250 --> 01:05:23,293
(Tobe) Why are you
surprised? It's De Palma.
1190
01:05:23,377 --> 01:05:26,922
What... What I don't get, is
if they just shaved their chests
1191
01:05:26,964 --> 01:05:28,924
wouldn't their curse
be lifted?
1192
01:05:28,966 --> 01:05:31,468
I mean, that's what it took
to be a Werebear. Right?
1193
01:05:31,552 --> 01:05:33,428
Uh. Sure.
1194
01:05:33,512 --> 01:05:35,472
I feel like I would've used
something less invasive.
1195
01:05:35,556 --> 01:05:38,350
You know, like, instead of a
dildo, maybe a silver razzor.
1196
01:05:38,434 --> 01:05:40,101
[chuckling
and squeaking sound]
1197
01:05:40,186 --> 01:05:42,354
What was that?
1198
01:05:42,438 --> 01:05:45,273
That's what scientists refer
to as the one cheek sneak.
1199
01:05:45,358 --> 01:05:48,276
Anyone want anything
from the concession stand?
1200
01:05:48,361 --> 01:05:49,361
I'm gonna go talk to Mr. K.
1201
01:05:49,445 --> 01:05:50,946
I'm good.
1202
01:05:51,030 --> 01:05:52,822
Nah, just bring Desi
back if you can.
1203
01:05:52,907 --> 01:05:55,617
Yeah, sure, I'll be right
back. [clearing throat]
1204
01:05:55,701 --> 01:05:57,869
[farting]
1205
01:06:03,751 --> 01:06:05,794
[continues farting]
1206
01:06:09,131 --> 01:06:11,216
Is it hot in here
or is it just me?
1207
01:06:11,300 --> 01:06:13,093
It's you.
1208
01:06:15,805 --> 01:06:19,015
How 'bout you sideburns, want some
of this milk it may cool you off?
1209
01:06:19,100 --> 01:06:20,767
I'd rather have a beer. [chuckling]
1210
01:06:20,851 --> 01:06:22,644
Nice.
1211
01:06:22,728 --> 01:06:24,646
Okay. Saw you,
Mr. Cockblock.
1212
01:06:24,730 --> 01:06:26,064
[mumbling]
1213
01:06:26,148 --> 01:06:28,024
Hey, is there
any popcorn left?
1214
01:06:28,109 --> 01:06:30,902
Fresh out.
1215
01:06:30,987 --> 01:06:32,988
Want me to get some more
before the next flick?
1216
01:06:33,072 --> 01:06:34,906
Yeah. I'll just be
here getting manhandled.
1217
01:06:34,991 --> 01:06:36,658
Really?
1218
01:06:36,742 --> 01:06:38,827
[baby gibberish]
1219
01:06:40,705 --> 01:06:42,831
Oh. I could just
eat you up.
1220
01:06:42,915 --> 01:06:47,335
� It's all over, darling �
1221
01:06:47,378 --> 01:06:48,670
�� because I... ��
1222
01:06:48,754 --> 01:06:50,088
[door opening]
1223
01:06:50,172 --> 01:06:51,673
Hey, Mr. K.
How you holding up?
1224
01:06:51,716 --> 01:06:53,383
Jesus, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1225
01:06:53,467 --> 01:06:55,093
Boy, dammit.
1226
01:06:55,177 --> 01:06:56,720
Does anybody knock anymore?
1227
01:06:56,804 --> 01:06:58,054
I'm an old man here.
1228
01:06:58,139 --> 01:06:59,305
Mr. K.,
I'm sorry, sir, I...
1229
01:06:59,390 --> 01:07:00,932
Don't apologizze.
1230
01:07:01,017 --> 01:07:04,519
Put, put, put, put
your hands down, son.
1231
01:07:04,562 --> 01:07:07,939
Wow. Thanks
for the six heart attacks.
1232
01:07:08,024 --> 01:07:10,358
Do you have a minute
to talk. I, I need to.
1233
01:07:10,443 --> 01:07:14,612
Well, sure thing. But, uh, go
over to the projector first
1234
01:07:14,697 --> 01:07:16,698
and flip on my call, okay?
1235
01:07:16,782 --> 01:07:18,908
Yeah, you got it, Mr. K.
1236
01:07:20,995 --> 01:07:22,620
[screaming and thunder]
1237
01:07:22,705 --> 01:07:28,251
Welcome back,
boyls and ghouls.
1238
01:07:28,335 --> 01:07:33,923
Anybody not off
to eternal slumber yet?
1239
01:07:34,008 --> 01:07:36,801
[horns honking]
1240
01:07:36,886 --> 01:07:41,306
Tonight they will bask in the
glory of the unconventionaI.
1241
01:07:41,390 --> 01:07:44,726
spit in the eye of morality
1242
01:07:44,810 --> 01:07:48,688
and feast on the art
of the damned.
1243
01:07:48,773 --> 01:07:51,983
With a film
that will test your tastes
1244
01:07:52,068 --> 01:07:56,946
and rock the very fabric
of your senses! [laughing]
1245
01:07:57,031 --> 01:08:01,409
[German accent] And first,
it's time to bear witness
1246
01:08:01,494 --> 01:08:04,621
to the Bible of bad taste,
1247
01:08:04,705 --> 01:08:09,918
The Diary
of Anne Frankenstein!
1248
01:08:09,960 --> 01:08:13,463
[rattling and spooky
piano music]
1249
01:08:13,547 --> 01:08:18,551
[1930s music]
1250
01:08:28,437 --> 01:08:29,562
[speaking German]
1251
01:09:10,729 --> 01:09:14,065
[intense suspenseful music]
1252
01:09:31,750 --> 01:09:32,750
Sh.
1253
01:09:41,218 --> 01:09:42,635
[crash]
1254
01:09:42,720 --> 01:09:43,761
[shouting]
1255
01:09:55,441 --> 01:09:56,983
[suspenseful music stops]
1256
01:10:06,535 --> 01:10:08,203
[suspenseful music resumes]
1257
01:10:37,942 --> 01:10:38,858
[growling]
1258
01:11:17,856 --> 01:11:20,358
[playful music]
1259
01:11:27,616 --> 01:11:29,117
[chuckling]
1260
01:11:29,201 --> 01:11:30,994
[Anna, chuckling]
1261
01:11:31,078 --> 01:11:32,954
[mocking, laughing]
1262
01:11:33,038 --> 01:11:34,455
[all, laughing]
1263
01:11:53,058 --> 01:12:00,982
[gunshots]
1264
01:12:13,370 --> 01:12:15,288
[thunder]
1265
01:12:43,108 --> 01:12:44,442
[both soldiers]
Heil, Hitler!
1266
01:12:44,526 --> 01:12:49,864
[indistinct]
1267
01:12:49,948 --> 01:12:51,574
Scheisse.
1268
01:13:07,716 --> 01:13:09,217
[knocking]
1269
01:13:22,106 --> 01:13:23,439
[chuckling]
1270
01:13:23,524 --> 01:13:24,774
Boop!
1271
01:14:03,063 --> 01:14:04,689
[playful music]
1272
01:14:06,108 --> 01:14:07,900
[both, laughing]
1273
01:14:10,612 --> 01:14:11,654
Poofta.
1274
01:15:36,031 --> 01:15:37,156
(both)
HeiI, Hitler!
1275
01:16:07,062 --> 01:16:08,729
[suspenseful music]
1276
01:16:50,606 --> 01:16:51,897
[singing, sweet music]
1277
01:17:20,677 --> 01:17:22,261
[suspenseful music]
1278
01:17:22,346 --> 01:17:23,512
(Eva)
Oh, mein Gott.
1279
01:18:46,888 --> 01:18:48,597
[heavenly music]
1280
01:18:51,852 --> 01:18:53,394
[growling]
1281
01:19:44,488 --> 01:19:45,613
[purring]
1282
01:19:49,242 --> 01:19:54,205
[growling]
1283
01:20:39,960 --> 01:20:41,168
Heil, Hitler!
1284
01:20:53,765 --> 01:20:55,516
Meshugannah.
1285
01:20:58,645 --> 01:20:59,854
Huh?
1286
01:21:14,244 --> 01:21:15,369
[growling softly]
1287
01:21:29,843 --> 01:21:32,136
[continues encouraging]
1288
01:22:38,161 --> 01:22:39,203
[growling]
1289
01:22:43,625 --> 01:22:44,708
[intense suspenseful music]
1290
01:22:46,086 --> 01:22:47,586
(both)
Nein!
1291
01:22:49,130 --> 01:22:50,965
[indistinct]
1292
01:22:55,595 --> 01:22:57,096
[sound of wet meat]
1293
01:22:57,180 --> 01:22:58,138
[screaming]
1294
01:23:25,875 --> 01:23:28,669
[groaning]
What the fuck?
1295
01:23:38,096 --> 01:23:39,430
[suspenseful music]
1296
01:24:00,410 --> 01:24:03,120
[gunshots]
1297
01:24:30,690 --> 01:24:33,901
[intense suspenseful music
and screaming continues]
1298
01:25:05,266 --> 01:25:07,684
[Eva and Hitler
alternate screaming]
1299
01:25:07,769 --> 01:25:09,061
[growling]
1300
01:25:21,574 --> 01:25:23,033
[both, sighing
in relief]
1301
01:25:23,118 --> 01:25:25,619
[all scream]
1302
01:25:41,219 --> 01:25:42,636
[sound of wet meat]
1303
01:25:54,607 --> 01:25:55,732
[growling]
1304
01:26:10,498 --> 01:26:11,707
Oh!
1305
01:26:40,445 --> 01:26:41,612
[ripping,
screaming]
1306
01:26:58,046 --> 01:27:00,130
[traditionaI Jewish music]
1307
01:27:23,613 --> 01:27:25,739
(male voice, on screen)
What is it? [chorus singing]
1308
01:27:25,782 --> 01:27:28,575
More popcorn?
1309
01:27:28,618 --> 01:27:32,079
[on screen singing] � Two hot
popcorns Mix it up, wrap it up �
1310
01:27:32,121 --> 01:27:34,206
� Butter it up �
1311
01:27:34,290 --> 01:27:36,750
[thump and moaning]
1312
01:27:36,834 --> 01:27:39,836
I got big plans
for you, baby.
1313
01:27:39,921 --> 01:27:41,630
Nice. Nice.
1314
01:27:41,714 --> 01:27:42,839
You like that, baby?
1315
01:27:42,924 --> 01:27:44,299
Hm. Yeah.
1316
01:27:44,384 --> 01:27:47,177
[moaning]
Loads of possibilities.
1317
01:27:47,262 --> 01:27:51,181
24.000 square
feet, Starbucks,
1318
01:27:51,266 --> 01:27:54,685
Food court, oh, I get hard
just thinking about it.
1319
01:27:54,769 --> 01:27:57,813
Yeah.
[crunching, moaning]
1320
01:27:57,897 --> 01:28:00,440
Hm. That's good. Hm.
1321
01:28:00,525 --> 01:28:03,235
Oh. So, so good.
1322
01:28:03,319 --> 01:28:05,195
Hm. Delicious.
1323
01:28:05,280 --> 01:28:08,615
Hey. Are you enjoying my
mouth or the fucking popcorn?
1324
01:28:08,700 --> 01:28:10,117
Well, both, baby.
1325
01:28:10,201 --> 01:28:12,536
It's kind of a big
fantasy for me.
1326
01:28:12,620 --> 01:28:15,455
Well, are you sure? 'Cause it
seems you're getting all orgasmic
1327
01:28:15,540 --> 01:28:16,873
about your fucking snacks.
1328
01:28:16,958 --> 01:28:20,460
[stomach noises
and grunting]
1329
01:28:20,503 --> 01:28:23,380
Jesus, are you okay?
1330
01:28:23,464 --> 01:28:25,257
Yeah, just, uh, I feel hot. Kinda hot.
1331
01:28:25,341 --> 01:28:27,509
Don't stop. Come on.
[stomach noises]
1332
01:28:27,593 --> 01:28:30,721
Okay. Tell me when you're gonna
pop. You know I don't like the taste.
1333
01:28:30,805 --> 01:28:32,973
Yeah. Yeah. Ugh.
1334
01:28:40,106 --> 01:28:41,481
[groaning and gurgling]
1335
01:28:45,737 --> 01:28:47,738
[suspenseful music]
1336
01:28:47,822 --> 01:28:49,323
What...
1337
01:28:49,407 --> 01:28:51,116
[growling]
1338
01:28:57,582 --> 01:28:58,915
[wet meat and cracking]
1339
01:28:59,000 --> 01:29:00,167
[wet meat
and growling]
1340
01:29:00,209 --> 01:29:03,086
[background radio]
1341
01:29:03,171 --> 01:29:05,297
[horror chord]
1342
01:29:12,221 --> 01:29:14,431
More head.
1343
01:29:14,515 --> 01:29:17,392
[groaning]
1344
01:29:17,477 --> 01:29:20,020
[crunching, moaning]
1345
01:29:23,107 --> 01:29:25,192
[soft growling]
1346
01:29:28,905 --> 01:29:30,238
[loud thump]
1347
01:29:30,323 --> 01:29:31,198
What the fuck?
1348
01:29:31,282 --> 01:29:32,449
[chuckling]
1349
01:29:32,533 --> 01:29:33,742
I just washed
this car.
1350
01:29:33,826 --> 01:29:35,285
He's got
blue slushies!
1351
01:29:35,370 --> 01:29:37,704
Oh! I'm like freaking
out right now!
1352
01:29:37,789 --> 01:29:39,373
All right. What were
we talking about?
1353
01:29:39,415 --> 01:29:41,458
Tobe. I should probably go...
1354
01:29:41,542 --> 01:29:43,543
Talk to Tobe.
1355
01:29:43,628 --> 01:29:46,046
I think you should talk
to him. That's my piece.
1356
01:29:46,089 --> 01:29:49,800
That's fine! Screw it!
Just tell me how it begins.
1357
01:29:49,884 --> 01:29:52,969
Roger Wilco.
Red five. Standing by.
1358
01:29:53,054 --> 01:29:54,638
Hm. Nerdy one.
1359
01:29:54,722 --> 01:29:56,139
Yeah, and you
getting that line
1360
01:29:56,224 --> 01:29:57,599
makes you one
of the good ones.
1361
01:29:57,683 --> 01:29:59,059
[door closing]
1362
01:29:59,102 --> 01:30:03,271
Which makes me,
the final girl.
1363
01:30:06,818 --> 01:30:08,944
(Announcer)
And now, on with the show.
1364
01:30:11,906 --> 01:30:13,824
[thunder
and screaming recording]
1365
01:30:13,908 --> 01:30:16,827
Well, my Chilly Chillens,
1366
01:30:16,911 --> 01:30:21,915
I hope you're still with us for the
long [indistinct] [vicious laughing]
1367
01:30:28,005 --> 01:30:33,593
(Mr. K.) For this popular abomination
you've all been waiting for.
1368
01:30:33,636 --> 01:30:37,681
The final sinful centerpiece,
1369
01:30:37,765 --> 01:30:40,851
of our last evening together.
1370
01:30:40,935 --> 01:30:43,353
Hey.
1371
01:30:43,438 --> 01:30:45,480
So, I need to get
something off my chest.
1372
01:30:45,565 --> 01:30:47,482
I... I...
1373
01:30:47,567 --> 01:30:51,987
(Mr. K.) You are gonna see
some serious shit!
1374
01:30:52,071 --> 01:30:53,697
Whoa.
1375
01:30:53,781 --> 01:30:56,116
It's just like
in the movies, huh?
1376
01:30:56,200 --> 01:30:58,452
I... I...
1377
01:30:58,536 --> 01:31:00,662
I got nothing.
1378
01:31:00,746 --> 01:31:04,708
(Mr. K)
The most vile and offensive...
1379
01:31:04,792 --> 01:31:07,377
stock of celluloid.
1380
01:31:07,462 --> 01:31:12,966
Here is Deathication.
[laughing viciously]
1381
01:31:15,928 --> 01:31:18,513
[spooky music]
1382
01:31:23,436 --> 01:31:25,687
[door opening]
1383
01:31:25,771 --> 01:31:27,647
Oh, hello.
1384
01:31:27,690 --> 01:31:29,065
I didn't see you there.
1385
01:31:29,150 --> 01:31:30,817
Come in, won't you?
1386
01:31:35,156 --> 01:31:37,657
Would you mind, uh,
closing the door, please?
1387
01:31:37,742 --> 01:31:38,825
[closing door]
1388
01:31:38,910 --> 01:31:40,660
Thank you very much.
1389
01:31:40,703 --> 01:31:43,413
As i was saying,
my name is Fernando Phagabeefy.
1390
01:31:43,498 --> 01:31:46,082
Internationally known
and respected film maker.
1391
01:31:46,167 --> 01:31:47,751
The visionary mastermind...
1392
01:31:47,835 --> 01:31:49,878
behind notorious
cinematic works such as,
1393
01:31:49,962 --> 01:31:51,171
The Cunting Death,
1394
01:31:51,214 --> 01:31:52,923
Salo 2, The Next Day...
1395
01:31:53,007 --> 01:31:55,842
and of course,
Rosemary's Picnic Table.
1396
01:31:55,885 --> 01:31:57,385
I'm here now
to present to you...
1397
01:31:57,470 --> 01:31:59,638
my latest and greatest
moving picture.
1398
01:31:59,722 --> 01:32:01,765
A film so scandalous,
so intense,
1399
01:32:01,849 --> 01:32:04,017
that it was banned
from every film festival...
1400
01:32:04,101 --> 01:32:05,435
in fear of mass hysteria,
1401
01:32:05,520 --> 01:32:07,604
and destroyed seating.
1402
01:32:07,688 --> 01:32:09,898
The next 87 minutes
you're about to endure...
1403
01:32:09,982 --> 01:32:12,025
a motion picture
I've directed called,
1404
01:32:12,109 --> 01:32:13,527
Deathication,
1405
01:32:13,611 --> 01:32:15,445
comes with a very
serious warning.
1406
01:32:15,530 --> 01:32:17,405
This film was specifically
produced...
1407
01:32:17,490 --> 01:32:20,033
to elicit the effect of pure terror
on the audience...
1408
01:32:20,076 --> 01:32:22,035
to a complete and total
sensory immersion...
1409
01:32:22,119 --> 01:32:23,703
to the images on screen
1410
01:32:23,788 --> 01:32:26,414
using the latest
in cinematic technology.
1411
01:32:26,499 --> 01:32:28,792
The lights of which
we can have revealed here...
1412
01:32:28,876 --> 01:32:30,835
in fear
of government confiscation.
1413
01:32:30,920 --> 01:32:33,964
The following visuals printed
on this very film stock...
1414
01:32:34,048 --> 01:32:37,259
are proven to cause a highly
visceral, biological response...
1415
01:32:37,343 --> 01:32:39,386
in the human nervous system
in the most,
1416
01:32:39,470 --> 01:32:41,221
hm, nefarious of ways.
1417
01:32:44,308 --> 01:32:45,976
Oh, hello, doctor.
1418
01:32:46,060 --> 01:32:48,603
As you can see
from our scientific results,
1419
01:32:48,688 --> 01:32:50,397
this photo realistic
rendering
1420
01:32:50,439 --> 01:32:52,065
of one,
the human body,
1421
01:32:52,149 --> 01:32:54,150
each and every frame
of Deathication...
1422
01:32:54,235 --> 01:32:56,486
swiftly attacks
the viewer's brainwaves,
1423
01:32:56,571 --> 01:32:59,072
rendering specific
motor functions helpless
1424
01:32:59,115 --> 01:33:02,242
to the depravity that unfolds
before your very eyes.
1425
01:33:02,285 --> 01:33:04,578
At any moment during
the course of this film,
1426
01:33:04,662 --> 01:33:07,080
viewers have been know
to suddenly and violently
1427
01:33:07,123 --> 01:33:08,790
release their bowels!
1428
01:33:08,874 --> 01:33:12,168
A collective explosion
of hot, moist madness.
1429
01:33:12,253 --> 01:33:15,005
In other words,
what you're about to see...
1430
01:33:15,089 --> 01:33:16,840
will make you shit.
A lot!
1431
01:33:16,924 --> 01:33:18,800
Buckets of excrement!
1432
01:33:18,884 --> 01:33:20,844
A river of ca-ca will rage
through this theater's...
1433
01:33:20,928 --> 01:33:22,470
as one buttery floor.
1434
01:33:22,555 --> 01:33:24,639
You'll crap your slacks
for days to come,
1435
01:33:24,724 --> 01:33:27,517
ruin many undergarments
become severely dehydrated,
1436
01:33:27,602 --> 01:33:30,937
brave scorn at any social
event or family gathering,
1437
01:33:31,022 --> 01:33:33,690
even suffer from a case
of inflamed anal tissue
1438
01:33:33,774 --> 01:33:36,359
similar,
to the effects of sodomy.
1439
01:33:36,444 --> 01:33:39,029
In other other words,
this film...
1440
01:33:39,113 --> 01:33:41,114
will rape you
with your own feces.
1441
01:33:41,198 --> 01:33:42,616
And that, my friends,
1442
01:33:42,658 --> 01:33:46,202
is a Fernando
Phagabeefy promise.
1443
01:33:46,287 --> 01:33:48,663
With this warning in mind,
by staying in this theatre,
1444
01:33:48,748 --> 01:33:50,832
you're releasing
any rights and liability...
1445
01:33:50,916 --> 01:33:54,044
against the film makers or the owner
of this fine establishment...
1446
01:33:54,128 --> 01:33:56,087
for any cleaning bills,
shattered senses,
1447
01:33:56,172 --> 01:33:58,673
or exploded ovaries.
So, for the safety of you,
1448
01:33:58,758 --> 01:34:00,759
those around you
and the integrity
1449
01:34:00,843 --> 01:34:02,552
of your swimming trunks area,
1450
01:34:02,637 --> 01:34:05,513
please consider this
your final warning.
1451
01:34:05,598 --> 01:34:07,724
Those in the audience
who have a weak constitution
1452
01:34:07,808 --> 01:34:09,309
or a giant asshole,
1453
01:34:09,393 --> 01:34:11,394
should leave
this theatre immediately!
1454
01:34:11,479 --> 01:34:13,396
Unless you are truly prepared...
1455
01:34:13,481 --> 01:34:17,317
to experience the horrific effects
of "Deathication".
1456
01:34:17,401 --> 01:34:20,487
Because you can't scream
if you're full of shit. [fart sound]
1457
01:34:24,158 --> 01:34:26,159
[disco music]
1458
01:34:26,243 --> 01:34:27,952
[fart]
1459
01:34:28,037 --> 01:34:29,037
[farting]
1460
01:34:29,121 --> 01:34:30,664
[grunting]
1461
01:34:33,834 --> 01:34:37,837
[farting]
1462
01:34:40,007 --> 01:34:41,007
[groaning]
1463
01:34:42,343 --> 01:34:44,177
[farting]
1464
01:34:46,347 --> 01:34:47,681
[grunting]
1465
01:34:51,435 --> 01:34:52,686
[fart]
1466
01:34:55,439 --> 01:34:57,023
[disco music continues]
1467
01:35:10,037 --> 01:35:11,029
[grunting]
1468
01:35:20,005 --> 01:35:21,631
What the hell...
1469
01:35:21,716 --> 01:35:22,966
[grunting over radio,
audio problems]
1470
01:35:23,050 --> 01:35:24,551
What is that?
1471
01:35:24,593 --> 01:35:26,428
I don't know.
That's a first.
1472
01:35:26,512 --> 01:35:28,304
[disco music continues]
1473
01:35:28,389 --> 01:35:30,473
Do you think
Mr. K's all right?
1474
01:35:30,558 --> 01:35:32,392
(Tobe) I don't know.
I'm kind of worried about him.
1475
01:35:32,476 --> 01:35:34,477
He seemed a bit a mess
about the whole thing,
1476
01:35:34,562 --> 01:35:35,478
and there was a gun.
1477
01:35:35,563 --> 01:35:37,605
What? A gun?
1478
01:35:37,690 --> 01:35:40,442
Look, I'll explain in a sec.
Come on, let's go check him out.
1479
01:35:40,526 --> 01:35:41,568
[shouting]
1480
01:35:41,652 --> 01:35:42,610
[farting]
1481
01:35:42,695 --> 01:35:43,737
[shouting]
1482
01:35:47,450 --> 01:35:48,408
Cecil!
1483
01:35:48,492 --> 01:35:49,743
Oh, my God.
1484
01:35:49,827 --> 01:35:51,578
You kids,
get out of here!
1485
01:35:51,662 --> 01:35:53,246
What the hell, man?
1486
01:35:53,330 --> 01:35:54,664
Gun.
1487
01:35:54,749 --> 01:35:56,166
[growling]
1488
01:35:56,250 --> 01:35:57,333
[loud thump]
1489
01:35:57,418 --> 01:35:59,377
Dick, you're fired!
1490
01:35:59,462 --> 01:36:01,004
[gunshot]
1491
01:36:01,088 --> 01:36:03,757
[groaning]
Boss!
1492
01:36:03,841 --> 01:36:05,341
[loud thump]
1493
01:36:07,261 --> 01:36:09,763
What? You never saw Robocop?
1494
01:36:09,847 --> 01:36:11,556
What the cripes
was that, Mr. K?
1495
01:36:11,640 --> 01:36:14,058
I don't know.
He just attacked me from behind.
1496
01:36:14,143 --> 01:36:16,811
Next thing I know,
he's trying to pull my pants down.
1497
01:36:16,896 --> 01:36:19,814
I think he was trying
to hide the baloney.
1498
01:36:19,899 --> 01:36:23,109
(Mayna)
What's that blue stuff on him?
1499
01:36:23,194 --> 01:36:26,780
Wait, wait, wait. I saw that
on somebody's shirt downstairs.
1500
01:36:26,822 --> 01:36:29,032
Wait! Did he bite you?
He's totally a zzombie.
1501
01:36:29,116 --> 01:36:30,950
No. He came close but no cigar.
I'm fine.
1502
01:36:31,035 --> 01:36:32,952
And you?
1503
01:36:33,037 --> 01:36:35,872
Actually, I'm kind of awesome,
all things considering.
1504
01:36:35,956 --> 01:36:38,708
(Mr. K.) Well, let's check the...
[indistinct]
1505
01:36:38,793 --> 01:36:39,834
Look out!
1506
01:36:39,919 --> 01:36:40,835
Tobe!
1507
01:36:40,920 --> 01:36:42,128
[loud thump]
1508
01:36:42,213 --> 01:36:43,963
[on screen audio problems]
1509
01:36:44,006 --> 01:36:45,215
Get him off me!
1510
01:36:45,299 --> 01:36:47,133
[growling]
1511
01:36:47,218 --> 01:36:48,134
[suspenseful music]
1512
01:36:48,219 --> 01:36:49,511
Tobe!
1513
01:36:49,595 --> 01:36:51,471
Shit! He's trying
to kiss me!
1514
01:36:59,563 --> 01:37:01,147
Fuck you, Floyd.
1515
01:37:04,401 --> 01:37:06,069
[gunshot]
1516
01:37:06,153 --> 01:37:08,905
Wow. Wow. Wow.
1517
01:37:10,783 --> 01:37:12,659
[gunshot]
1518
01:37:12,743 --> 01:37:13,868
[groaning]
1519
01:37:13,953 --> 01:37:15,078
Wolfman has nards!
1520
01:37:15,162 --> 01:37:17,038
Nice shooting, Tex.
1521
01:37:17,122 --> 01:37:19,207
How'd you know that
was the sweet spot?
1522
01:37:19,291 --> 01:37:20,834
(Mayna)
Come on, I'm a girl.
1523
01:37:20,876 --> 01:37:22,502
I know where guy's heads are.
1524
01:37:22,545 --> 01:37:24,337
(Tobe)
Thanks.
1525
01:37:24,421 --> 01:37:26,297
That's two
you owe me, Junior.
1526
01:37:29,510 --> 01:37:30,885
God, I love you.
1527
01:37:30,970 --> 01:37:32,554
I know.
1528
01:37:32,638 --> 01:37:35,014
Will you two clam it
'till the credits?
1529
01:37:35,057 --> 01:37:36,182
What I wanna know...
1530
01:37:36,267 --> 01:37:37,725
is what the sweet scent...
1531
01:37:37,810 --> 01:37:40,353
of Satan's scrotus
is going on here.
1532
01:37:40,437 --> 01:37:42,564
[cheerful music
and screaming]
1533
01:37:58,539 --> 01:38:00,290
[wet meat and creaming]
1534
01:38:05,713 --> 01:38:13,545
[shouting]
1535
01:38:23,230 --> 01:38:24,731
What?
1536
01:38:29,403 --> 01:38:32,363
[suspenseful music]
1537
01:38:32,448 --> 01:38:33,781
[growling]
1538
01:38:45,210 --> 01:38:46,628
I'll just lie here.
1539
01:38:46,712 --> 01:38:48,504
It all should blow over.
1540
01:38:48,589 --> 01:38:50,924
Ah, fuck that!
I could leave!
1541
01:38:51,008 --> 01:38:52,592
I got the car,
I got the keys!
1542
01:38:52,635 --> 01:38:55,053
Ah, what about the guys?
1543
01:38:55,137 --> 01:38:57,013
Wait.
1544
01:38:57,097 --> 01:39:00,224
Ah, Des! Shit!
1545
01:39:00,309 --> 01:39:02,560
[softly growling]
1546
01:39:05,773 --> 01:39:07,941
[cheerful music
over radio continues]
1547
01:39:07,983 --> 01:39:11,527
[grunting]
1548
01:39:22,581 --> 01:39:24,624
[baby crying]
1549
01:39:37,554 --> 01:39:39,097
[wet meat sound]
1550
01:39:43,018 --> 01:39:44,060
[music stops]
1551
01:39:44,144 --> 01:39:47,021
[baby gibberish]
1552
01:39:54,530 --> 01:39:56,406
Yes! Okay.
1553
01:39:56,490 --> 01:39:58,157
Come on, Ryan.
1554
01:39:58,200 --> 01:40:01,035
This is my movie.
I'm the final girl.
1555
01:40:01,120 --> 01:40:02,704
Come on!
1556
01:40:02,788 --> 01:40:04,706
[background screaming
and growling]
1557
01:40:04,790 --> 01:40:06,499
Okay.
1558
01:40:06,583 --> 01:40:08,584
One.
1559
01:40:08,669 --> 01:40:11,462
Two.
[background screaming]
1560
01:40:11,547 --> 01:40:12,714
[suspenseful music]
1561
01:40:12,798 --> 01:40:14,090
Two and a half.
1562
01:40:14,174 --> 01:40:15,049
Three!
1563
01:40:15,134 --> 01:40:16,676
[grunting]
1564
01:40:16,760 --> 01:40:18,720
[suspenseful music,
intensifying]
1565
01:40:20,305 --> 01:40:26,894
[shouting]
1566
01:40:26,979 --> 01:40:28,563
Jesus, Miller.
1567
01:40:33,861 --> 01:40:35,695
Penis brat!
1568
01:40:35,738 --> 01:40:37,572
You gotta be
fucking kidding!
1569
01:40:58,594 --> 01:41:00,762
[screaming]
1570
01:41:17,738 --> 01:41:19,447
Swearsies.
1571
01:41:19,531 --> 01:41:21,157
Now what?
1572
01:41:21,241 --> 01:41:24,327
We get back in the car
and get the fuck out, that's what?
1573
01:41:24,411 --> 01:41:27,163
[growling]
1574
01:41:27,247 --> 01:41:31,417
Plan A sucks.
Got any other ideas?
1575
01:41:31,502 --> 01:41:33,336
- Follow me.
- Okay.
1576
01:41:33,337 --> 01:41:34,962
[suspenseful music continues]
1577
01:41:43,889 --> 01:41:46,933
Fuck you, fucking zombies!
1578
01:41:46,975 --> 01:41:48,684
[shouting]
Okay.
1579
01:41:48,769 --> 01:41:50,686
I gotta think.
I gotta save the day.
1580
01:41:50,771 --> 01:41:52,355
What would, uh,
Simon Pegg do?
1581
01:41:52,439 --> 01:41:54,774
That's too
British.
1582
01:41:54,858 --> 01:41:56,692
Des, Des, we're gonna
get out of this.
1583
01:41:56,777 --> 01:41:59,028
We're gonna be oh...
1584
01:41:59,113 --> 01:42:00,822
[suspenseful music
and wet meat]
1585
01:42:00,906 --> 01:42:02,156
Des?
1586
01:42:02,241 --> 01:42:05,785
[gasping]
I want you, Ryan.
1587
01:42:05,869 --> 01:42:07,954
That is so awesome, but,
1588
01:42:08,038 --> 01:42:11,332
this is kind of a no time for love
Dr. Jones situation here, so.
1589
01:42:11,416 --> 01:42:13,584
We'll be fine.
1590
01:42:13,669 --> 01:42:16,504
[moaning]
Come to me, Ryan.
1591
01:42:16,588 --> 01:42:18,464
But, but you're...
1592
01:42:18,507 --> 01:42:20,216
In love?
1593
01:42:20,300 --> 01:42:21,884
No...
1594
01:42:21,969 --> 01:42:23,469
[moaning]
1595
01:42:23,512 --> 01:42:25,638
Be inside me forever, Ryan.
1596
01:42:25,681 --> 01:42:27,140
I, uh...
1597
01:42:33,188 --> 01:42:34,438
Fuck it!
1598
01:42:37,818 --> 01:42:39,402
[wet meat sound]
1599
01:42:39,486 --> 01:42:41,154
[groaning]
1600
01:42:45,659 --> 01:42:47,952
[spooky music]
1601
01:42:51,999 --> 01:42:53,958
Phone's dead.
1602
01:42:54,042 --> 01:42:56,419
(Mr. K.) Phones out here too,
smart bastards.
1603
01:42:56,503 --> 01:42:58,171
What the hell
is going on?
1604
01:42:58,213 --> 01:43:01,048
When there's
no more room left in hell,
1605
01:43:01,133 --> 01:43:02,842
"The dead
shall fuck the earth".
1606
01:43:02,885 --> 01:43:05,553
Or something like that,
it's like,
1607
01:43:05,637 --> 01:43:06,846
with the final reel.
1608
01:43:06,889 --> 01:43:08,097
Final reel.
1609
01:43:08,182 --> 01:43:09,515
What?
1610
01:43:09,600 --> 01:43:11,559
No.
I cannot die here tonight.
1611
01:43:13,520 --> 01:43:15,521
You're not
gonna die tonight.
1612
01:43:15,606 --> 01:43:16,731
Here.
1613
01:43:16,815 --> 01:43:18,482
Here you go, kid.
1614
01:43:18,567 --> 01:43:19,942
Six rounds will give you
some courage.
1615
01:43:20,027 --> 01:43:21,277
(Mayna)
What about you?
1616
01:43:21,361 --> 01:43:22,820
Don't worry about me.
1617
01:43:22,905 --> 01:43:24,697
Now you came
by car tonight, right?
1618
01:43:24,781 --> 01:43:26,908
Yeah, hopefully
Ryan stayed in the car.
1619
01:43:26,992 --> 01:43:29,118
He's got the keys.
1620
01:43:29,203 --> 01:43:31,037
Get back to your car,
1621
01:43:31,121 --> 01:43:33,873
lock yourselves in
and drive fast.
1622
01:43:33,957 --> 01:43:36,209
What do we tell him?
That this in an undead orgy?
1623
01:43:36,293 --> 01:43:37,793
Tell them whatever!
1624
01:43:37,878 --> 01:43:39,795
Tell them to bring
the cops, the army,
1625
01:43:39,880 --> 01:43:42,089
the goddamn hazzmat suits.
Bring them all!
1626
01:43:42,174 --> 01:43:44,050
Now, you have
12 rounds between you.
1627
01:43:44,134 --> 01:43:46,302
Got it.
1628
01:43:46,386 --> 01:43:47,970
(Mayna)
Aren't you coming?
1629
01:43:48,055 --> 01:43:51,474
Yeah. Yeah.
I'll... I'll catch up with ya.
1630
01:43:54,895 --> 01:43:56,854
Scoot you two.
Good luck.
1631
01:43:56,939 --> 01:43:59,232
And may the schwartzz
be with ya.
1632
01:43:59,316 --> 01:44:00,650
You too, Mr. K.
1633
01:44:08,158 --> 01:44:11,786
What was it
you said, Orson?
1634
01:44:11,870 --> 01:44:16,374
Nobody who takes on
anything big and tough
1635
01:44:16,458 --> 01:44:18,751
can afford to be modest.
1636
01:44:18,835 --> 01:44:20,795
[background shouting
and growling]
1637
01:44:20,879 --> 01:44:23,464
[triumphant music]
1638
01:44:27,928 --> 01:44:30,054
Fuck modesty.
1639
01:44:46,280 --> 01:44:47,196
[suspenseful chord]
1640
01:44:47,281 --> 01:44:48,447
Fuck!
1641
01:44:48,532 --> 01:44:50,074
[soft growling]
1642
01:44:56,123 --> 01:44:57,832
Hey, there, big boy.
1643
01:44:57,916 --> 01:44:59,292
You like that?
1644
01:45:01,503 --> 01:45:02,962
Is this what you want?
1645
01:45:03,046 --> 01:45:04,380
(Tobe)
Mayna, what the fuck?
1646
01:45:04,464 --> 01:45:07,425
[distorted voice]
Happy ending.
1647
01:45:07,509 --> 01:45:10,052
[panting]
1648
01:45:10,137 --> 01:45:11,804
[gunshot]
1649
01:45:11,888 --> 01:45:13,973
[keys clinking]
1650
01:45:14,057 --> 01:45:15,516
Feel important.
1651
01:45:15,600 --> 01:45:17,518
Wait! Smoke screen.
1652
01:45:20,105 --> 01:45:21,731
[groaning]
1653
01:45:21,815 --> 01:45:23,983
(Mayna) Fuck me gently
with the chain saw.
1654
01:45:25,402 --> 01:45:26,986
[gunshot]
1655
01:45:27,070 --> 01:45:28,154
[grunting]
1656
01:45:28,238 --> 01:45:29,405
Let's go!
1657
01:45:29,489 --> 01:45:30,489
Okay. Okay.
1658
01:45:30,532 --> 01:45:31,991
Oh, my God!
1659
01:45:37,914 --> 01:45:38,914
Where's the car?
1660
01:45:38,999 --> 01:45:40,249
Right there.
1661
01:45:40,334 --> 01:45:41,667
(Tobe)
Yeah. Right there.
1662
01:45:41,710 --> 01:45:42,835
[gunshots]
1663
01:45:42,919 --> 01:45:44,587
(Mayna)
Oh, shit.
1664
01:45:44,671 --> 01:45:46,422
[growling]
1665
01:45:46,506 --> 01:45:47,757
- Fuck.
- [gunshot]
1666
01:45:47,841 --> 01:45:49,675
(Tobe)
Watch out.
1667
01:45:49,760 --> 01:45:51,302
[Mayna] Your mother sucks cocks in hell.
[gunshot]
1668
01:45:53,513 --> 01:45:55,264
[shouting]
Tobe! Oh, my gosh!
1669
01:45:55,349 --> 01:45:58,684
[gunshot]
1670
01:45:58,727 --> 01:46:00,770
[panting]
Oh, fuck.
1671
01:46:00,854 --> 01:46:02,146
(Mayna)
Are you out?
1672
01:46:02,230 --> 01:46:03,731
(Tobe)
I've got one.
1673
01:46:03,815 --> 01:46:05,524
[suspenseful music
and walla]
1674
01:46:05,609 --> 01:46:06,734
I've got two.
1675
01:46:06,818 --> 01:46:08,611
Wait. No.
1676
01:46:08,695 --> 01:46:10,279
I've only got one.
Fuck.
1677
01:46:10,364 --> 01:46:12,281
Well, the best we could
do is use it on us.
1678
01:46:12,366 --> 01:46:14,408
Before we become zzombies.
1679
01:46:14,493 --> 01:46:17,536
I don't feel like losing my virginity
with a goddamn zombie.
1680
01:46:17,621 --> 01:46:19,455
Wait. You're a virgin?
1681
01:46:19,539 --> 01:46:21,791
Can we talk about this later?
Watch it.
1682
01:46:21,875 --> 01:46:24,043
[gunshot]
1683
01:46:24,086 --> 01:46:26,545
I waited for you.
1684
01:46:26,588 --> 01:46:29,548
[soft music]
1685
01:46:33,595 --> 01:46:36,389
Now put the gun on my head
and pull the trigger.
1686
01:46:36,431 --> 01:46:38,682
The bullet should
take us both out.
1687
01:46:38,767 --> 01:46:40,768
What?
Is that the best idea you've got?
1688
01:46:40,852 --> 01:46:43,270
It's the only thing
I can remember from the movies...
1689
01:46:43,355 --> 01:46:44,563
that makes any sense...
1690
01:46:44,606 --> 01:46:46,107
[gunshot]
1691
01:46:46,191 --> 01:46:47,900
[suspenseful music]
1692
01:46:47,943 --> 01:46:49,819
Get your undead dicks
1693
01:46:49,903 --> 01:46:52,488
out of my drive-in!
1694
01:46:52,572 --> 01:46:54,907
[gunshot and shouting]
1695
01:46:54,991 --> 01:46:57,326
Old turkey!
1696
01:46:57,411 --> 01:47:00,496
(Mr. K.) This way, jerk offs!
Follow me!
1697
01:47:02,916 --> 01:47:05,918
(Mr. K.) Amscra you two.
Get to the chopper. Go.
1698
01:47:11,842 --> 01:47:13,259
(Mayna)
Where are the keys?
1699
01:47:13,343 --> 01:47:14,760
I don't know.
You have them.
1700
01:47:14,803 --> 01:47:16,137
What?
No, I gave them to you.
1701
01:47:16,221 --> 01:47:17,263
I gave them to you!
1702
01:47:17,347 --> 01:47:18,722
Check your pockets.
1703
01:47:18,807 --> 01:47:20,182
I got 'em!
1704
01:47:20,267 --> 01:47:21,767
Behind you!
[gunshot]
1705
01:47:24,479 --> 01:47:25,938
In. In. In.
Get in!
1706
01:47:26,022 --> 01:47:28,065
Open the door!
Unlock it.
1707
01:47:28,150 --> 01:47:29,692
Get in.
1708
01:47:29,776 --> 01:47:30,943
[closing door]
1709
01:47:33,447 --> 01:47:35,781
"Hasta la vista, baby".
1710
01:47:35,866 --> 01:47:38,993
"Frankly, my dear,
I don't give a damn".
1711
01:47:39,077 --> 01:47:42,705
- "Nobody puts Baby in a corner".
- [gunshot]
1712
01:47:42,789 --> 01:47:46,375
- "Yippie ki yay motherfucker".
- [gunshot]
1713
01:47:46,460 --> 01:47:49,795
"What we have here
is a failure to communicate".
1714
01:47:49,880 --> 01:47:52,131
[gunshots and shouting]
1715
01:47:52,215 --> 01:47:53,924
"Goonies never say die!"
1716
01:47:54,009 --> 01:47:55,801
[triumphant music continues]
1717
01:47:55,886 --> 01:47:59,180
"I'm getting too old
for this shit".
1718
01:47:59,264 --> 01:48:01,182
(Mr. K.)
This way, perverts!
1719
01:48:01,266 --> 01:48:04,310
Follow the Pied Piper
and his sweet asshole!
1720
01:48:04,394 --> 01:48:05,811
[growling]
1721
01:48:05,854 --> 01:48:07,646
Cinema is dead.
1722
01:48:07,689 --> 01:48:09,440
[thump]
1723
01:48:09,524 --> 01:48:10,649
[wet meat sound]
1724
01:48:10,692 --> 01:48:12,818
Oh!
1725
01:48:12,903 --> 01:48:15,237
"Say hello
to my little friend!"
1726
01:48:15,322 --> 01:48:16,363
[gunshot]
1727
01:48:21,119 --> 01:48:24,914
[indistinct]
a better contender!
1728
01:48:24,998 --> 01:48:28,584
"Rosebud, motherfucker"!
1729
01:48:30,045 --> 01:48:31,712
Oh, God.
1730
01:48:31,796 --> 01:48:33,339
I think that was uncle Cecil's
curtain call.
1731
01:48:33,423 --> 01:48:35,257
Well, that's a way
to find out. Huh?
1732
01:48:35,342 --> 01:48:36,509
Keys to ignition. Go!
1733
01:48:36,551 --> 01:48:38,469
(Tobe)
Okay.
1734
01:48:38,553 --> 01:48:40,596
- [engine cranks but can't start]
- No, no, no.
1735
01:48:40,680 --> 01:48:43,015
Come on. This isn't
supposed to happen.
1736
01:48:43,058 --> 01:48:45,351
We're supposed
to survive. Fuck.
1737
01:48:45,435 --> 01:48:48,812
This is it.
1738
01:48:48,897 --> 01:48:50,856
Wait! You still have the...
1739
01:48:52,359 --> 01:48:54,068
- Fresh out.
- [cocks gun]
1740
01:48:54,152 --> 01:48:55,736
Damn it!
1741
01:48:55,820 --> 01:48:58,364
What do we do now?
1742
01:48:58,448 --> 01:49:01,367
(Mayna)
Well, we can just sit here...
1743
01:49:01,409 --> 01:49:04,245
and wait for them
to turn us into human sex toys.
1744
01:49:04,329 --> 01:49:07,581
Okay. Already not
digging doing number one.
1745
01:49:07,666 --> 01:49:11,585
Or,
1746
01:49:19,135 --> 01:49:24,765
We spend the last night
of our lives together...
1747
01:49:24,849 --> 01:49:28,727
and give these fuckers
one hell of a show.
1748
01:49:28,770 --> 01:49:33,232
I have to admit
that's one hell of a plan.
1749
01:49:33,316 --> 01:49:36,277
Let's do it. Wait.
1750
01:49:36,361 --> 01:49:39,196
[soft music]
1751
01:49:40,907 --> 01:49:43,284
Funny. Did you
ever think
1752
01:49:43,368 --> 01:49:46,328
this would be the moment
you became a man?
1753
01:49:46,413 --> 01:49:49,582
Actually, it was during
an alien invasion...
1754
01:49:49,666 --> 01:49:52,167
but it really doesn't matter
what the scenario.
1755
01:49:52,252 --> 01:49:54,587
Why's that?
1756
01:49:54,629 --> 01:49:57,590
Because I always knew
it would be with you.
1757
01:50:00,176 --> 01:50:03,596
You are so cool.
1758
01:50:03,638 --> 01:50:05,931
True romance.
1759
01:50:15,942 --> 01:50:16,984
Wait. Wait.
1760
01:50:17,068 --> 01:50:18,152
What? What?
1761
01:50:18,236 --> 01:50:20,946
Do you have a condom?
1762
01:50:20,989 --> 01:50:22,197
Really?
1763
01:50:22,282 --> 01:50:24,408
[chuckling]
I'm kidding.
1764
01:50:30,290 --> 01:50:32,458
[zzombies thumping
and groaning]
1765
01:50:37,422 --> 01:50:39,882
[suspenseful music
and glass shattering]
1766
01:50:48,808 --> 01:50:50,893
[cheering]
1767
01:50:59,527 --> 01:51:01,820
Fantastic! Now
that's an ending.
1768
01:51:01,905 --> 01:51:03,072
Fuck Hollywood!
1769
01:51:03,156 --> 01:51:04,740
Really? Boring.
1770
01:51:04,824 --> 01:51:05,866
Boring?
1771
01:51:05,950 --> 01:51:07,409
Not enough tits.
1772
01:51:07,494 --> 01:51:09,745
Actually, it was
kinda bittersweet.
1773
01:51:09,829 --> 01:51:12,164
You know?
Like the ending of E.T.
1774
01:51:12,248 --> 01:51:14,375
Why does everything
gotta be E.T. with you?
1775
01:51:14,459 --> 01:51:15,584
Come on. Let's go.
1776
01:51:15,669 --> 01:51:17,252
E.T.'s gay.
1777
01:51:18,630 --> 01:51:20,506
How... He's a plant.
1778
01:51:20,590 --> 01:51:23,008
He can't be gay.
He's a pla... he's a plant.
1779
01:51:23,093 --> 01:51:25,052
Would you be gay
if you were a plant?
1780
01:51:25,136 --> 01:51:27,429
[lively music]
1781
01:51:43,029 --> 01:51:44,154
[screaming]
1782
01:51:59,671 --> 01:52:01,880
[hard rock music]
1783
01:52:12,559 --> 01:52:14,727
It is
a biological anomaly...
1784
01:52:14,811 --> 01:52:18,147
the likes of which the medical community
has never seen.
1785
01:52:18,231 --> 01:52:20,441
Miles' unique
body chemistry
1786
01:52:20,525 --> 01:52:22,901
clashed with the Plutoneide
and the Spermupermine
1787
01:52:22,944 --> 01:52:25,696
mutating his spermatozzoa
during spermatogenesis
1788
01:52:25,780 --> 01:52:28,073
in a way that no one
could've expected.
1789
01:52:28,158 --> 01:52:29,950
Spermatium are
by their very nature...
1790
01:52:30,034 --> 01:52:32,411
a very determined
and resilient organism...
1791
01:52:32,454 --> 01:52:35,080
genetically programmed
to overcome all obstacles...
1792
01:52:35,165 --> 01:52:37,249
defy all odds
and hit the target.
1793
01:52:37,333 --> 01:52:39,668
or die trying.
1794
01:52:39,753 --> 01:52:41,003
Perhaps...
1795
01:52:41,087 --> 01:52:43,088
You can view
this disaster...
1796
01:52:43,131 --> 01:52:45,799
as a kind of
cautionary tale...
1797
01:52:45,884 --> 01:52:48,594
against the misuse of a yet
to be fully understood...
1798
01:52:48,636 --> 01:52:50,929
era in atomic energy.
1799
01:52:51,014 --> 01:52:53,432
God help us all.
1800
01:53:01,691 --> 01:53:04,443
[soft cheerful song]
1801
01:54:41,791 --> 01:54:44,334
[soft music]
1802
01:56:33,069 --> 01:56:37,030
[pop song]
1803
01:59:45,553 --> 01:59:46,678
Ba-bye.
120755
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