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1
00:00:02,306 --> 00:00:03,307
GOING ALL THE WAY
UP TO THE FRONT.
2
00:00:03,307 --> 00:00:04,569
EVERYONE FOLLOW ME.
3
00:00:04,569 --> 00:00:07,181
ALL THE WAY UP HERE.
FILE IN, PLEASE.
4
00:00:07,181 --> 00:00:11,620
HERE IS THE MUSEUM'S
MOST VALUABLE PIECE, "THUMB,"
5
00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:15,232
PAINTED BY CARPACCIO MacGUFFIN,
THE SCOTTISH-ITALIAN MASTER.
6
00:00:15,232 --> 00:00:18,192
THIS PAINTING IS
THE LAST WORK HE EVER DID
7
00:00:18,192 --> 00:00:19,802
BEFORE
HE WENT INTO SECLUSION.
8
00:00:19,802 --> 00:00:22,718
IT IS WORTH
WELL OVER $10 MILLION.
9
00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:25,242
LOOK IN FRONT OF YOU.
SEE THESE VELVET ROPES?
10
00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:28,115
THEY PREVENT ANYONE FROM GETTING
CLOSE TO THE PAINTING.
11
00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:30,073
All: OOH!
12
00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:31,901
AND AS AN ADDED LEVEL
OF SECURITY,
13
00:00:31,901 --> 00:00:33,294
LOOK AT THE SIGN.
14
00:00:33,294 --> 00:00:34,686
[ ALL MURMUR ][ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
15
00:00:34,686 --> 00:00:35,774
ALL RIGHT,
LET'S MOVE ON TO THE ROOM
16
00:00:35,774 --> 00:00:37,646
WITH THE BORING POTS IN IT.
17
00:00:37,646 --> 00:00:40,170
FOLLOW ME.
RIGHT THIS WAY.
18
00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:43,260
EVERYONE THIS WAY.
19
00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:45,088
AND TO YOUR RIGHT.
20
00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:51,355
♪♪
21
00:01:17,251 --> 00:01:20,906
[ FABRIC CUTTING ]
22
00:01:20,906 --> 00:01:22,517
Woman: I DON'T BELIEVE
23
00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:24,997
THE INDIGENOUS PEOPLE
HAD MICROWAVES.
24
00:01:24,997 --> 00:01:26,477
AND ONE CAN ONLY IMAGINE
25
00:01:26,477 --> 00:01:28,000
THE BLAND FOOD
THEY COOKED IN THESE POTS.
26
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,002
HERE WE HAVE
WELL-PRESERVED EXAMPLES
27
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:31,917
OF GREEK AND ROMAN STATUES.
28
00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:33,528
YOU CAN SEE
THAT THEY ARE A DEPICTION
29
00:01:33,528 --> 00:01:35,356
OF THE IDEAL HUMAN FORM,
30
00:01:35,356 --> 00:01:36,922
EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE,
OF COURSE,
31
00:01:36,922 --> 00:01:40,230
WHICH IS THE FAT,
SLOVENLY CUPID, GOD OF LOVE.
32
00:01:40,230 --> 00:01:42,624
CLEARLY, HE LOVED PIZZA
MOST OF ALL.
33
00:01:42,624 --> 00:01:44,582
[ LAUGHTER ]
34
00:01:44,582 --> 00:01:46,236
NOW, FOLLOW ME OVER HERE
35
00:01:46,236 --> 00:01:49,457
AND TAKE A LOOK
AT THE MUSEUM'S MOST PRIZED...
36
00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:50,458
[ GASPS ]
37
00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:52,503
[ SCREAMING ]
38
00:01:52,503 --> 00:01:55,550
♪♪
39
00:01:55,550 --> 00:02:03,601
[ OFFICER DAVE SCREAMING ]
40
00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:07,823
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]TRIBECA, GEILS!
41
00:02:07,823 --> 00:02:10,478
DOLBY,
KNOCK IT OFF, WILL YOU?
42
00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:11,914
SORRY, LIEUTENANT.
43
00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:13,263
THE OTHER DAY,
YOU REQUESTED MORE HUBBUB.
44
00:02:13,263 --> 00:02:14,960
OKAY, WELL, TAKE IT DOWN
TO A DULL ROAR.
45
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:15,961
GOT IT.
46
00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:17,311
[ CONVERSATIONS SOFTEN ]
47
00:02:17,311 --> 00:02:18,964
[ POLICE RADIO CHATTER ]
48
00:02:18,964 --> 00:02:20,792
GEILS, TRIBECA.
MY OFFICE!
49
00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:22,142
[ BOTH SCOFF ]
50
00:02:25,101 --> 00:02:26,624
YOU WANTED TO SEE US,
SIR?
51
00:02:26,624 --> 00:02:29,497
YEAH, YOU EVER HEARD
OF CARPACCIO MacGUFFIN?
52
00:02:29,497 --> 00:02:31,586
THE SCOTTISH-ITALIAN MASTER
WHO DISAPPEARED
53
00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:33,718
AFTER PAINTING
HIS MASTERWORK "THUMB"?
54
00:02:33,718 --> 00:02:35,764
YES. OBVIOUSLY.
55
00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:37,418
MacGUFFIN'S "THUMB"
DISAPPEARED
56
00:02:37,418 --> 00:02:39,246
FROM THE OLSEN-MEDAVOY GALLERY
THIS MORNING.
57
00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:40,812
THE O.M.G.?
58
00:02:40,812 --> 00:02:42,510
I THOUGHT IT WAS AT
THE LEWIS-OGILVIE LIBRARY?
59
00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,381
THE L.O.L.?!
DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH!
60
00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:46,949
THAT BURNED DOWN LAST YEAR,
SO THEY MOVED IT.
61
00:02:46,949 --> 00:02:48,298
WHAT ARE THEY BUILDING
IN ITS PLACE?
62
00:02:48,298 --> 00:02:50,126
ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE
DAMN PARKING GARAGES
63
00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:51,867
FROM
THE WAYNE-TYSON FOUNDATION.
64
00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:54,391
WTF.I KNOW. JUST WHAT WE NEEDED.
65
00:02:54,391 --> 00:02:55,827
BUT YOU HEARD ABOUT TYSON,
RIGHT?
66
00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:59,091
HE CAME DOWN WITH
A TESTICULAR MEMBRANE INFECTION.
67
00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:01,006
TMI?FOR REALSIES.
68
00:03:01,006 --> 00:03:02,399
THIS IS
YOUR DIVORCE AGREEMENT.
69
00:03:02,399 --> 00:03:04,706
B-T-DUBS,
YOU GOT ROBBED.
70
00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:08,405
I KNOW. FML.
71
00:03:08,405 --> 00:03:10,581
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]
72
00:03:10,581 --> 00:03:14,629
♪♪
73
00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:19,634
[ RETCHES ]
74
00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:21,070
IT'S OKAY, KID.
75
00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:22,898
YOU WOULDN'T BE HUMAN
IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE
76
00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:26,075
SOME TYPE OF REACTION
TO A MISSING PAINTING.
77
00:03:26,075 --> 00:03:27,598
[ BARKING ]
78
00:03:29,731 --> 00:03:30,906
SCHOLLS,
WHAT DO WE GOT HERE?
79
00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:32,734
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
DETECTIVE.
80
00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:34,736
WATCH OUT
FOR THE VELVET ROPES.
81
00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:36,128
WHAT DO WE GOT?
82
00:03:36,128 --> 00:03:37,869
WHOEVER DID THIS
KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING.
83
00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:40,263
HE GOT PAST THE ROPES
NO PROBLEM.WHAT ABOUT THE SIGN?
84
00:03:40,263 --> 00:03:42,004
HE WAS VERY CLEVER HERE.
85
00:03:42,004 --> 00:03:43,310
LOOK HOW HE ALTERED
THE MEANING OF THE SIGN
86
00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:44,963
BY SPRAY-PAINTING OVER
THE WORD "NOT."
87
00:03:44,963 --> 00:03:48,184
"DO TOUCH."
MAN, THAT'S DIABOLICAL.
88
00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:50,534
WE'RE TAKING
AS MANY PRINTS AS POSSIBLE.
89
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,101
WE'LL LET YOU KNOW
WHAT WE COME UP WITH.
90
00:03:52,101 --> 00:03:54,843
WHAT'S GOING ON
WITH THIS PEDESTAL HERE?
91
00:03:54,843 --> 00:03:56,584
Scholls: OH, THERE WAS
A CUPID STATUE THERE,
92
00:03:56,584 --> 00:03:58,368
BUT IT WAS JUST
A TEMPORARY EXHIBIT
93
00:03:58,368 --> 00:04:00,022
ON LOAN FROM
AN ANTIQUITIES DEALER --
94
00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:02,807
A DR. ZAIUS.
95
00:04:02,807 --> 00:04:04,026
WE'RE ON IT.
96
00:04:04,026 --> 00:04:05,984
WELL, TRIBECA,
TIME FOR A CHECK-UP.
97
00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:07,551
IF THE DOCTOR IS IN.
98
00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:10,554
I SURE HOPE SO.
I HAVE A SCROTAL HERNIA.
99
00:04:10,554 --> 00:04:12,948
WHAT?
100
00:04:12,948 --> 00:04:17,648
♪♪
101
00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:28,224
[ BELL JINGLES ]
102
00:04:28,224 --> 00:04:29,747
I JUST LOVE OLD STUFF --
103
00:04:29,747 --> 00:04:33,360
EVERYTHING ABOUT IT --
THE SMELL, THE FEEL.
104
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,840
L.A.P.D.
ARE YOU DR. ZAIUS?
105
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:37,929
OH, NO.
DR. ZAIUS IS MY BROTHER.
106
00:04:37,929 --> 00:04:42,107
I'M JUST MR. ZAIUS.
YOU GUYS CAN CALL ME RANDY.
107
00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:43,979
QUITE A SHINER
YOU GOT THERE, RANDY.
108
00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:45,415
OH, THANK YOU.
109
00:04:46,198 --> 00:04:47,504
I CALL IT A MOP.
110
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:48,679
IS YOUR BROTHER AROUND?
111
00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:50,942
OH, YEAH. SORRY.
112
00:04:50,942 --> 00:04:53,771
RANDY?
WHAT KIND OF NAME IS RANDY?
113
00:04:53,771 --> 00:04:55,425
IT'S WELSH, ACTUALLY.
114
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:57,079
GOOD AFTERNOON.
I'M DR. ZAIUS.
115
00:04:57,079 --> 00:04:58,646
HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
116
00:04:58,646 --> 00:05:00,561
WOW, YOU REALLY DO LOOK
A LOT LIKE YOUR BROTHER.
117
00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:02,911
REALLY? I DON'T SEE IT.
PLEASE COME IN.
118
00:05:02,911 --> 00:05:05,740
♪♪
119
00:05:13,965 --> 00:05:15,358
WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME COFFEE?
120
00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:16,838
YES, PLEASE.
121
00:05:16,838 --> 00:05:18,970
I'M DETECTIVE TRIBECA,
THIS IS DETECTIVE GEILS,
122
00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:20,363
AND WE'RE HERE TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED
123
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:21,973
AT THE OLSEN-MEDAVOY
GALLERY.
124
00:05:21,973 --> 00:05:24,193
[ BOTH SLURP ]
125
00:05:24,193 --> 00:05:25,412
OHH!
AAH!
126
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:27,239
OH, MY GOD,
THAT'S TERRIBLE.
127
00:05:27,239 --> 00:05:29,459
AND REALLY COLD.I'M NOT SURPRISED.
128
00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:31,940
THIS COFFEE WAS BREWED
BY NAPOLEON BONAPARTE
129
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:33,855
JUST BEFORE
THE BATTLE OF WATERLOO.
130
00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:35,465
[ BLOWS ]
131
00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:37,511
WOULD YOU CARE
FOR SOME MACAROONS
132
00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:39,469
FROM THE AGE
OF ENLIGHTENMENT?
133
00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:41,645
HOW ABOUT A POTATO CHIP
FROM THE KENNEDY ADMINISTRATION?
134
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,735
OKAY.
WERE YOU AWARE
THAT MacGUFFIN'S "THUMB"
135
00:05:44,735 --> 00:05:46,998
WAS STOLEN FROM THE O.M.G.
THIS MORNING?
136
00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:50,480
HOW AWFUL.
THAT'S SUCH A SEMINAL PIECE.
137
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:51,916
[ CHUCKLES ]
138
00:05:51,916 --> 00:05:53,222
THAT'S NOT
WHAT IT MEANS.
139
00:05:53,222 --> 00:05:55,006
APPARENTLY,
140
00:05:55,006 --> 00:05:58,140
ONE OF YOUR STATUES WAS ON LOAN
TO THE MUSEUM FROM...
141
00:05:58,140 --> 00:06:00,360
YESTERDAY TO TODAY.
142
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,188
I'M ALWAYS HAPPY TO SHARE
MY ANTIQUITIES WITH THE WORLD.
143
00:06:03,188 --> 00:06:05,060
THEY REALLY BELONG
TO ALL OF US.
144
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:07,149
CAN WE SEE IT?NO. IT'S MINE.
145
00:06:07,149 --> 00:06:09,543
THE PAINTING WAS THERE.
THE STATUE ARRIVES.
146
00:06:09,543 --> 00:06:12,415
THE PAINTING DISAPPEARS.
THE STATUE DISAPPEARS.
147
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:13,808
IF YOU SAY SO.
148
00:06:13,808 --> 00:06:15,418
FRANKLY, THE COMINGS AND GOINGS
OF THE PIECES
149
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:18,029
IS RANDY'S RESPONSIBILITY,
AND HE'S A FIRST-CLASS IDIOT,
150
00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:19,857
A REAL DUMB-DUMB
DOUBLE ZERO.
151
00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:21,859
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
THE CAKE FROM
152
00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:24,514
THEODORE ROOSEVELT'S
35th BIRTHDAY JUST ARRIVED,
153
00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:26,037
AND IT'S IN
TERRIBLE CONDITION.
154
00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:27,169
SIT DOWN, ZAIUS!
155
00:06:27,169 --> 00:06:29,432
YOU'RE TRYING TO TELL ME
156
00:06:29,432 --> 00:06:31,042
THAT THAT TIMELINE
IS COINCIDENTAL?
157
00:06:31,042 --> 00:06:32,392
HOW DARE
YOU COME IN HERE
158
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,046
WITH YOUR CHEAP SUIT
AND YOUR LOUSY HAIRCUT.
159
00:06:35,046 --> 00:06:36,570
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT,
LADIES PRISON?
160
00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:38,572
SALON TRAINING STUDIO.
161
00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:40,138
HOW ABOUT THIS?
162
00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:42,576
I'LL MAKE SOME INQUIRIES
IN THE ART WORLD, ASK AROUND.
163
00:06:42,576 --> 00:06:44,926
IF I FIND ANYTHING OUT,
I'LL CALL YOU.
164
00:06:46,014 --> 00:06:47,145
WHAT'S THE NUMBER?
165
00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:49,191
IT'S 3--OH, HOLD ON.
166
00:06:49,191 --> 00:06:51,193
INK DRIED UP.
167
00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:52,455
GO AHEAD.
168
00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:54,588
IT'S 3--OH, DRIED UP AGAIN.
169
00:06:54,588 --> 00:06:56,764
[ CHUCKLES ]
GO AHEAD.
170
00:06:56,764 --> 00:06:57,852
IT'S 3--OOPS.
171
00:06:57,852 --> 00:07:00,071
DRIED UP. SORRY.
[ CHUCKLES ]
172
00:07:00,071 --> 00:07:01,551
ONE MORE TIME.
GO AHEAD.
173
00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:03,684
IT'S 3--NO, IT DRIED UP. SORRY.
174
00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:06,687
GO AHEAD.
IT'S 3--
175
00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:08,515
AH, SHOOT. DRIED UP.
176
00:07:09,603 --> 00:07:12,127
IT'S 3--NO, IT DRIED UP AGAIN.
177
00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:14,651
SO SORRY.
ONE MORE TIME. GO.
178
00:07:14,651 --> 00:07:16,827
IT'S 3--ALL RIGHT, DON'T SAY "IT'S."
179
00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:19,264
THAT'S WHAT'S TAKING THE TIME --
THE WORD "IT'S."
180
00:07:19,264 --> 00:07:21,353
YOU SAY IT,
IT DRIES UP, OKAY?
181
00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:22,354
GO.
182
00:07:22,354 --> 00:07:24,487
3--TOO LATE.
183
00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:27,969
TELL YOU WHAT --
I HAVE A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY.
184
00:07:27,969 --> 00:07:30,275
YOU SAY IT, AND I'LL --
I'LL JUST REMEMBER IT.
185
00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:31,276
GO AHEAD.OKAY, 333...
186
00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:33,409
MM-HMM....2333.
187
00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:34,932
OKAY,
START ANY TIME YOU WANT.
188
00:07:34,932 --> 00:07:36,978
♪♪
189
00:07:36,978 --> 00:07:41,112
[ SIGHS ] I FEEL LIKE DR. ZAIUS
IS GIVING US THE RUNAROUND.
190
00:07:41,112 --> 00:07:43,898
YOU THINK HE HAS SOMETHING TO DO
WITH THE STOLEN PAINTING?I DON'T KNOW.
191
00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:45,508
I THINK THIS ONE
WE JUST LEAVE UNSOLVED.
192
00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:46,509
LEAVE UNSOLVED?
193
00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:48,206
I'VE LITERALLY NEVER HEARD
194
00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:49,599
EITHER OF THOSE WORDS
COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH,
195
00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:51,079
AND I'VE KNOWN YOU
FOR THREE WEEKS.
196
00:07:51,079 --> 00:07:52,472
IT'S JUST A DUMB,
OLD PAINTING.
197
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:53,908
WHO CARES?
"WHO CARES"?
198
00:07:53,908 --> 00:07:55,562
I'VE LITERALLY
NEVER HEARD
199
00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:56,824
EITHER OF THOSE WORDS
COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH,
200
00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:58,434
AND I'VE KNOWN YOU
FOR THREE WEEKS.
201
00:07:58,434 --> 00:08:00,218
IS THERE SOMETHING GOING ON HERE
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT?
202
00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:02,438
LET'S JUST DROP IT,
OKAY?
203
00:08:02,438 --> 00:08:04,875
I'LL TELL YOU WHEN YOU
REALLY PUSH ME ON IT LATER.FINE.
204
00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:07,051
IF DR. ZAIUS HASN'T GIVEN US
ENOUGH INFORMATION
205
00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:08,879
TO MAKE HIM
A PRIME SUSPECT,
206
00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:11,360
MAYBE HIS BROTHER, RANDY,
CAN CHIME IN.
207
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:12,970
ARE YOU IN OR OUT?
208
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:15,799
[ SIGHS ]
LET'S ROLL.
209
00:08:21,283 --> 00:08:24,547
[ KNOCKING ON DOOR ]
210
00:08:25,417 --> 00:08:26,767
OH.
211
00:08:26,767 --> 00:08:28,072
YEAH?
212
00:08:28,072 --> 00:08:30,074
RANDY ZAIUS?
L.A.P.D.
213
00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:31,728
DO YOU REMEMBER US
FROM THIS AFTERNOON?
214
00:08:31,728 --> 00:08:33,556
OH, YEAH, YEAH.
I REMEMBER YOU GUYS.
215
00:08:33,556 --> 00:08:34,601
COME ON IN.
216
00:08:34,601 --> 00:08:36,907
♪♪
217
00:08:39,736 --> 00:08:42,043
NICE PLACE.
218
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:45,176
THANKS. IT'S CHEAP,
BUT IT'S INEXPENSIVE.
219
00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:47,875
NO ONE GETS INTO THE
ANTIQUITIES GAME FOR THE MONEY.
220
00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:49,659
IT'S FUNNY THAT YOU MENTION THAT
BECAUSE I NOTICED
221
00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:53,054
THAT YOUR BROTHER, DR. ZAIUS,
WAS WEARING A $1,500 SUIT TODAY.
222
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:54,621
WE TOOK A LOOK
AT HIS TAX RECORDS,
223
00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:57,667
AND IT TURNS OUT HE OWNS
A BOATHOUSE, A HOUSE BOAT,
224
00:08:57,667 --> 00:09:00,148
A POOL HOUSE
AND A HOUSE POOL.
225
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:03,064
OH, I WOULDN'T KNOW.
I'VE NEVER BEEN TO HIS HOUSE.
226
00:09:03,064 --> 00:09:04,979
HMM.
DID YOU PAINT THAT?
227
00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:07,285
YEAH.
IT'S NOT VERY GOOD, I KNOW.
228
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:09,287
BUT I'M --
I'M JUST STARTING.
229
00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:10,898
A KANGAROO
WITH A LIGHT SWITCH FOR A HEAD.
230
00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:12,813
WHAT DO YOU CALL IT --
A KANGER-SWITCH?
231
00:09:12,813 --> 00:09:14,205
ACTUALLY,
IT'S A SWITCHEROO.
232
00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:15,990
CLEVER.
I'D LIKE TO BUY IT.
233
00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:17,644
OH, YOU DON'T WANT THAT.
IT'S A TERRIBLE PAINTING.
234
00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:18,993
YOU CAN GET
SOMETHING BETTER THAN THAT.
235
00:09:18,993 --> 00:09:20,516
THAT ONE'S GARBAGE.
236
00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:22,213
DID DR. ZAIUS GIVE YOU
THAT BLACK EYE, RANDY?
237
00:09:22,213 --> 00:09:24,520
YEAH, BUT WE LIKE TO PUNCH
EACH OTHER IN THE EYE.
238
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,000
I MEAN,
I PUNCHED HIM YESTERDAY,
239
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,305
SO IT WAS KIND OF
HIS TURN.
240
00:09:27,305 --> 00:09:29,003
IT'S A GAME.
WE CALL IT "PUNCH PUNCH."
241
00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:30,526
YOUR BROTHER DOESN'T TREAT YOU
VERY WELL, DOES HE?
242
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:32,441
DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT DR. ZAIUS
243
00:09:32,441 --> 00:09:33,790
AND THE THEFT
OF MacGUFFIN'S "THUMB"?
244
00:09:36,401 --> 00:09:39,622
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I HAVE TO, UH...
245
00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:41,755
I HAVE TO USE
THE RESTROOM.
246
00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:45,759
Let's spread out.
247
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:48,457
♪♪
248
00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:50,894
[ ZIPPER OPENS ]
249
00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:52,896
[ URINATING ]
250
00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:07,258
TRIBECA,
GET OVER HERE.
251
00:10:07,258 --> 00:10:08,651
ON MY WAY.
252
00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:11,088
WHAT'S UP?
253
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:14,483
MacGUFFIN'S "THUMB."
254
00:10:14,483 --> 00:10:16,137
[ TOILET FLUSHES ]
255
00:10:16,137 --> 00:10:18,226
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, UH,
256
00:10:18,226 --> 00:10:19,967
ALL MY ROOMMATES ARE ABOUT
TO SHOW UP, SO I --
257
00:10:19,967 --> 00:10:21,795
YOU SON OF A BITCH!AAH!
258
00:10:21,795 --> 00:10:23,274
WHOA!
259
00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:24,667
YOU'RE UNDER ARREST
FOR GRAND THEFT ART-O.
260
00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:26,060
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.
261
00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:27,104
GIVE ME A REASON!
262
00:10:27,104 --> 00:10:28,889
[ GRUNTS ]I DARE YOU.
263
00:10:28,889 --> 00:10:30,281
AAH!HE JUST TOOK A PAINTING.
IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL.
264
00:10:30,281 --> 00:10:32,501
DON'T TELL ME
HOW TO DO MY JOB!
265
00:10:32,501 --> 00:10:33,720
OHH!GIVE ME A REASON!
266
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,112
[ BONES CRACK ]I DARE YOU!
267
00:10:35,112 --> 00:10:36,244
OHH! AAH!
268
00:10:43,207 --> 00:10:46,558
THINGS GOT A LITTLE HEATED
BACK THERE, HUH?
269
00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:48,212
I DON'T WANT TO TALK
ABOUT IT.
270
00:10:48,212 --> 00:10:50,998
YOU GOT TO TELL ME WHAT'S
GOING ON WITH YOU AND THIS CASE.
271
00:10:50,998 --> 00:10:52,826
YOU KNOW WE NEVER SOLVE IT
TILL YOU DO.
272
00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:56,830
[ SIGHS ]
273
00:10:56,830 --> 00:11:00,660
I WAS A YOUNG ART STUDENT
LIVING IN PARIS.
274
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,879
I WAS LIVING
IN THE FRENCH QUARTER.[ PARISIAN MUSIC PLAYS ]
275
00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:04,925
I WAS JUST GETTING OUT
OF A RELATIONSHIP.
276
00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:15,675
THAT WAS THE WORST FIRST DATE
I EVER HAD.
277
00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:19,766
I NEEDED SOMEONE WHO WANTED
THE THINGS THAT I WANTED.
278
00:11:21,463 --> 00:11:25,859
AND THAT WAS
CARPACCIO MacGUFFIN.
279
00:11:25,859 --> 00:11:30,690
IT WAS EXCITING,
EXHILARATING.
280
00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:36,521
WE DID THINGS
I NEVER DREAMED OF.
281
00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:42,310
HE WAS LOVING,
CONSIDERATE, THOUGHTFUL...
282
00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:44,573
SENSUOUS.
283
00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:48,577
I KNEW I HAD TO GET OUT
OF THERE.
284
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:55,018
I LOVED HIM,
BUT I KNEW I COULDN'T STAY
285
00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:58,761
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I DO --
I LEAVE.
286
00:12:17,301 --> 00:12:20,043
SO THAT WAS THE INSPIRATION
FOR "THE THUMB."
287
00:12:20,043 --> 00:12:21,871
AMAZING.
288
00:12:21,871 --> 00:12:23,699
YOU THINK MAYBE YOU LEAVE PEOPLE
BEFORE THEY LEAVE YOU?
289
00:12:23,699 --> 00:12:25,527
[ Mockingly ] YOU THINK
MAYBE YOU LEAVE PEOPLE
290
00:12:25,527 --> 00:12:26,833
BEFORE THEY LEAVE YOU?
291
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,486
ALL RIGHT, FINE.
FORGET IT.
292
00:12:28,486 --> 00:12:30,053
LET'S JUST
PUT RANDY AWAY.
293
00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:31,228
IT'S UP HERE
ON THE RIGHT,
294
00:12:31,228 --> 00:12:32,621
WHERE IT SAYS
"POLICE PRECINCT."
295
00:12:32,621 --> 00:12:34,710
OKAY, I GOT IT.
296
00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:38,975
TURN TO THE RIGHT.
297
00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:41,673
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
298
00:12:41,673 --> 00:12:43,458
TURN TO THE LEFT.
299
00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:46,591
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
300
00:12:46,591 --> 00:12:49,029
ALL RIGHT. LET'S BRING IN
THE WHOLE FAMILY.
301
00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:50,595
COME ON IN.
COME ON IN, BETTS.
302
00:12:50,595 --> 00:12:53,250
OKAY, Y'ALL READY?
AT THE COUNT OF THREE, "CHEESE."
303
00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:55,775
ONE, TWO, THREE! "CHEESE!"[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
304
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,168
YOU WANTED TO SEE US,
DOCTOR?
305
00:12:58,168 --> 00:13:00,997
AH, GOOD EVENING,
DETECTIVES!
306
00:13:00,997 --> 00:13:02,390
I TOOK A LOOK
AT THAT PAINTING YOU RECOVERED
307
00:13:02,390 --> 00:13:04,218
FROM RANDY ZAIUS'
APARTMENT.
308
00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:05,915
A GENUINE MacGUFFIN,
EH?
309
00:13:05,915 --> 00:13:06,960
[ LAUGHING ]
310
00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:14,837
WE DON'T KNOW
WHY YOU'RE LAUGHING, SIR.
311
00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:16,665
NO. OF COURSE.
HOW COULD YOU?
312
00:13:16,665 --> 00:13:19,233
YOU'RE NOT INSIDE MY HEAD.
NOW, LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
313
00:13:19,233 --> 00:13:22,192
NOW, HERE WE HAVE
LEONARDO DA VINCI'S "MONA LISA,"
314
00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:25,152
WHICH WE HAD FedExed IN
FROM THE LOUVRE MUSEUM IN PARIS.
315
00:13:25,152 --> 00:13:28,808
AND HERE...
[ GRUNTS ]
316
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:33,638
HERE WE HAVE A CHEAP FORGERY ON
LOAN FROM A CHEAP FORGERY STORE.
317
00:13:33,638 --> 00:13:35,466
OR IS IT?
318
00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:37,599
COULD THIS BE
THE REAL "MONA LISA"
319
00:13:37,599 --> 00:13:39,514
AND COULD THIS BE
THE FORGERY?
320
00:13:39,514 --> 00:13:41,516
REAL, FORGE.
FORGE, REAL.
321
00:13:41,516 --> 00:13:43,344
FOLLOW THE BOUNCING BALL.
WHICH IS IT?
322
00:13:43,344 --> 00:13:46,564
I CAN TELL THEM APART.OH, REALLY, DETECTIVE?
323
00:13:46,564 --> 00:13:48,566
THEN WHY DON'T YOU PULL OUT
YOUR BIG GUN
324
00:13:48,566 --> 00:13:50,307
AND SHOOT THE FORGERY?
325
00:13:50,307 --> 00:13:52,440
GREAT.
326
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:55,530
WRONG, DETECTIVE.
327
00:13:55,530 --> 00:13:57,532
YOU'VE JUST SHOT
THE REAL "MONA LISA"
328
00:13:57,532 --> 00:13:59,882
AND THE LAB TECHNICIAN
STANDING BEHIND IT.
329
00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:01,492
[ GRUNTS ]
330
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:03,668
YOU TRICKED ME.
I'M NOT PAYING FOR THAT.
331
00:14:03,668 --> 00:14:05,322
THEY'RE BOTH FORGERIES.
332
00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:08,282
EXACTLY, TRIBECA.
THEY ARE BOTH FORGERIES.
333
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:11,415
LOOK AT THE CHEAP CANVAS,
THE AMATEUR BRUSHSTROKES,
334
00:14:11,415 --> 00:14:13,635
THE LACK OF CONTRAST
BETWEEN LIGHT AND DARK,
335
00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:15,855
THE STICKERS
THAT SAY "75 CENTS."
336
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,509
AH. [ CHUCKLES ]
[ CLAPS ]
337
00:14:18,509 --> 00:14:20,990
AT LAST, SOMEONE WHO KNOWS
SOMETHING ABOUT ART.
338
00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:22,426
WHAT'S THE POINT
OF ALL THIS, DOCTOR?
339
00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:23,558
THE POINT?
340
00:14:23,558 --> 00:14:25,038
THE POINT?
341
00:14:25,038 --> 00:14:26,691
OOH, I LOVE
AN INQUIRING MIND.
342
00:14:26,691 --> 00:14:28,476
LET'S HAVE ANOTHER LOOK
AT YOUR SO-CALLED MacGUFFIN,
343
00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:30,173
SHALL WE?
344
00:14:32,175 --> 00:14:34,656
OH, MY GOD.
345
00:14:34,656 --> 00:14:36,136
HOW DID I MISS THIS?
346
00:14:36,136 --> 00:14:39,617
YEAH, HOW DID YOU MISS THIS?
IT'S SO OBVIOUS.
347
00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:41,141
WHY IS IT OBVIOUS?
348
00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:42,925
IT'S OBVIOUS
THAT IT'S A FORGERY,
349
00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:44,405
ALTHOUGH
A BRILLIANT ONE.
350
00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:46,102
THE CANVAS IS AUTHENTIC
TO THE PERIOD.
351
00:14:46,102 --> 00:14:47,408
THE BRUSHSTROKES
ARE EXACT.
352
00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:49,236
IT'S ABSOLUTELY
INDISTINGUISHABLE
353
00:14:49,236 --> 00:14:50,367
FROM THE ORIGINAL.
354
00:14:50,367 --> 00:14:52,021
EXCEPT FOR THE FACT
355
00:14:52,021 --> 00:14:53,849
THAT MacGUFFIN WAS CRYING
WHEN HE PAINTED "THE THUMB,"
356
00:14:53,849 --> 00:14:56,939
AND THE TEARS DILUTED THE PAINT
IN THE BOTTOM-RIGHT CORNER.
357
00:14:56,939 --> 00:14:59,550
EXACTLY.
AS YOU CAN SEE, NO TEARS.
358
00:14:59,550 --> 00:15:02,945
SO RANDY FORGED "THE THUMB,"
BUT WHY?
359
00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:05,556
♪♪
360
00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:14,435
♪♪
361
00:15:14,435 --> 00:15:17,133
[ CHUCKLES ]
362
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:19,396
HOW'S JAIL TREATING YOU,
RANDY?
363
00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:22,138
YOU LITERALLY BROUGHT ME
IN HERE FIVE MINUTES AGO.
364
00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:24,924
YEAH, TIME GOES SLOW
IN THE JOINT, DOESN'T IT?
365
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,664
[ CHUCKLES ]
366
00:15:26,664 --> 00:15:29,841
THE PAINTING WE GOT FROM
YOUR APARTMENT IS A FORGERY,
367
00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:33,715
WHICH BEGS THE QUESTION --
WHERE'S THE ORIGINAL?
368
00:15:33,715 --> 00:15:36,718
LOOK, I'LL TELL YOU
EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW.
369
00:15:36,718 --> 00:15:39,155
BUT FIRST,
I WANT IMMUNITY.
370
00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:42,245
IMMUNITY?
THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT, HUH?
371
00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:45,814
[ LAUGHING ]
372
00:15:45,814 --> 00:15:49,209
YOU ALLERGIC TO EGGS?UH, NO.
373
00:15:49,209 --> 00:15:50,427
OKAY.
GO AHEAD.
374
00:15:50,427 --> 00:15:53,039
OW.
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
375
00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:54,518
THAT WASN'T SO BAD.
376
00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:57,130
NOW, WHERE'S "THE THUMB" AT?MY BROTHER HAS IT.
377
00:15:57,130 --> 00:15:59,349
HE STEALS THE ART,
AND THEN I FORGE IT.
378
00:15:59,349 --> 00:16:01,308
HE RETURNS THE FORGERIES BACK
TO THE ART GALLERY,
379
00:16:01,308 --> 00:16:03,614
AND THE POLICE DROP
THE WHOLE THING.
380
00:16:03,614 --> 00:16:05,921
HE ENDS UP WITH
A MULTIMILLION-DOLLAR
ART COLLECTION.
381
00:16:05,921 --> 00:16:07,792
WHY ROLL ON HIM NOW?
382
00:16:07,792 --> 00:16:10,970
[ Voice breaking ]
BECAUSE HE'S A TOTAL...
383
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,710
DICK!
[ CRIES ]
384
00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:14,930
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DEAL
WITH HIM NO MORE,
385
00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:18,368
'CAUSE WE ARE ABOUT TO
TAKE DR. ZAIUS DOWN.
386
00:16:18,368 --> 00:16:20,022
[ GASPS ]
387
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:21,806
NOW, YOU'RE FREE TO GO.
388
00:16:21,806 --> 00:16:24,940
[ GRUNTS ]
CAN SOMEONE UN-CUFF ME?
389
00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:26,594
YOU'RE NOT CUFFED.
390
00:16:28,552 --> 00:16:31,555
OH. GREAT. THANKS.
391
00:16:31,555 --> 00:16:33,166
YOU CAN VALIDATE YOUR PARKING
ON THE WAY OUT.
392
00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:36,169
THANKS, MAN.YEAH. NO PROBLEM.
393
00:16:39,911 --> 00:16:41,913
DON'T MOVE, DR. ZAIUS![ THUD ]
394
00:16:41,913 --> 00:16:44,177
YOU IDIOT!
DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?!
395
00:16:44,177 --> 00:16:46,222
THAT WAS
A PRICELESS MORAVIAN VASE.
396
00:16:46,222 --> 00:16:48,224
IT WILL TAKE YOU
A LIFETIME TO PAY --
397
00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:50,879
IT SEEMS TO BE FINE.
HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
398
00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:53,142
YOU'RE UNDER ARREST
FOR STEALING MacGUFFIN'S "THUMB"
399
00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:54,752
FROM THE OLSEN-MEDAVOY
GALLERY.
400
00:16:54,752 --> 00:16:56,145
YOUR BROTHER
RATTED YOU OUT.
401
00:16:56,145 --> 00:16:58,495
DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
I HAVEN'T STOLEN ANYTHING.
402
00:16:58,495 --> 00:17:01,542
THEN HOW
DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS?
403
00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:03,544
I HAVE NO IDEA
HOW THAT GOT THERE.
404
00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:05,198
I'M BEING FRAMED!
405
00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:07,156
OFFICER, TAKE HIM AWAY.
406
00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:10,638
♪♪
407
00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:12,248
WE DID IT.
408
00:17:12,248 --> 00:17:14,642
NOW LET'S GET THIS THING
BACK TO A MUSEUM,
409
00:17:14,642 --> 00:17:16,339
WHERE IT BELONGS.
410
00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:18,124
EVERYONE FREEZE!
411
00:17:18,994 --> 00:17:20,822
YOU'RE OUT.
GO SIT DOWN.
412
00:17:21,953 --> 00:17:25,392
UN-FREEZE.
413
00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:28,743
NO TEARS.
THIS ONE'S A FORGERY, TOO.
414
00:17:28,743 --> 00:17:30,353
DAMN IT.
415
00:17:30,353 --> 00:17:32,529
BUT RANDY SAID
THAT ZAIUS HAD THE ORIGINAL.
416
00:17:32,529 --> 00:17:34,531
WHAT, DID HE PULL
SOME KIND OF SWITCHEROO?
417
00:17:34,531 --> 00:17:36,533
[ BOTH GASP ]
418
00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:39,580
SWITCHEROO!
SWITCHEROO!
419
00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:41,843
♪♪
420
00:17:41,843 --> 00:17:46,239
RANDY ZAIUS, L.A.P.D.!
OPEN THE DOOR!
421
00:17:46,239 --> 00:17:47,240
TAKE IT DOWN.
422
00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:53,594
GO! GO! GO!
423
00:17:53,594 --> 00:17:55,770
Man: GO! GO!Man #2: KEEP IT MOVING!
LET'S GO!
424
00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:59,861
COME ON! LET'S GO!
GO, GO, GO!
425
00:18:13,831 --> 00:18:15,268
[ STATIC ]
426
00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:17,270
IT'S TANNER.
HE ISN'T HERE.
427
00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:19,010
[ RANDY SNEEZES ]
428
00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:21,796
[ SCREAMS ]
429
00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:24,190
GET HIM![ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
430
00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:26,279
[ PUNCHES LANDING ]
431
00:18:33,721 --> 00:18:35,940
YOU KNOW, MY FIRST APARTMENT
OUT OF THE ACADEMY
432
00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:37,855
WAS WAY SMALLER
THAN THIS ONE.
433
00:18:37,855 --> 00:18:39,248
YOU DON'T SAY?
434
00:18:39,248 --> 00:18:42,077
10 GUYS CRAMMED
INTO A 24-STORY WALK-UP.
435
00:18:42,077 --> 00:18:44,210
AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE BIGGEST
PAIN IN THE BUTT WAS?
436
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:45,559
[ SCREAMING ]
437
00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:48,431
OHH!
438
00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:50,825
OPENING THE DAMN FRIDGE.
439
00:18:50,825 --> 00:18:52,218
♪♪
440
00:19:01,749 --> 00:19:06,754
IT'S TANNER.
"THUMB'S" UP.
441
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:09,626
ALL RIGHT.
442
00:19:09,626 --> 00:19:11,715
LOOKS LIKE "THE THUMB'S"
BACK UP AT THE GALLERY.
443
00:19:11,715 --> 00:19:13,369
ALL RIGHT.
444
00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:15,066
I GOT TO SAY YOU WERE
PRETTY TERRIFIC BACK THERE.
445
00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:16,546
YOU WEREN'T BAD YOURSELF.
446
00:19:16,546 --> 00:19:18,418
I FEEL LIKE
WE'RE REALLY FINDING OUR GROOVE.
447
00:19:18,418 --> 00:19:19,419
MM-HMM.
448
00:19:20,376 --> 00:19:21,899
MY MOM WAS RIGHT.
449
00:19:21,899 --> 00:19:24,293
WHEN YOU MEET THE RIGHT PARTNER,
YOU JUST KNOW.
450
00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:26,295
MM-HMM.IN FACT, YOU SHOULD MEET MY MOM.
451
00:19:26,295 --> 00:19:28,645
I'VE ALREADY TOLD HER
SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.
HMM.
452
00:19:28,645 --> 00:19:30,604
IS IT WEIRD WE DON'T HAVE
MORE PICTURES TOGETHER?
453
00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:31,953
I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
454
00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:36,044
I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU RUN AWAY
FROM A GOOD THING THIS TIME,
455
00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:37,567
AGENT TRIBECA.
456
00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:39,569
[ SIGHS ]
457
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,616
I GOT TO GO TAKE A POOP.
458
00:19:42,616 --> 00:19:47,403
♪♪
32259
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