All language subtitles for The Helicopter Spies (1968)

[dramatic music]

[helicopter whirring]

That must be the village.

[music continues]

[music continues]

He's dead?

[indistinct radio chatter]

[indistinct]

What? What?

[indistinct]

I'll signal Nairobi
for a medical unit.

[gasping]
Light. Light. Too bright!

[indistinct]

Open SA Channel G.

The airplane. The light's
coming from the airplane.

We're all dead here!

The intense burns
evidently produce

a corrosion
of the nervous system.

[sobbing]
...I should never have come.

I had a good job..

I, I gave it all up.

[dramatic music]

Cancel Channel G.

And open overseas relay,
Channel D, please.

Channel D open.

Connect me with Mr. Waverly.

Mission Control.

[airplane droning]

The transmission's coming
from that shack, doctor.

Force them into the open.

(Waverly on radio)
'Yes, Mr. Kuryakin,
I'm ready for your report.'

[gunshots]

[instrumental music]

[gunshots]

[alarm beeping]

[explosion]

Yes, Mr. Kuryakin.
I'm ready for your report.

(Kuryakin)
Forget it.

[alarm beeping]

[gunshots]

[gunshot]

[alarm beeping]

I'm still waiting for
your report, Mr. Kuryakin.

Kuryakin here, sir.
Sorry, we were interrupted.

You can tell Security Research

that their information
was correct.

Somebody has won the race
to develop a thermal prism.

[dramatic music]

[helicopter whirring]

[music continues]

[music continues]

In case you don't read
the newspapers

you can't extradite me
from here.

I want to talk to you
over there.

The rest of you go on
doing whatever it is

that you're doing.

Would you please? The old man
hasn't spoken in 20 years.

The belief is that when
he does, this mystic cult

it's called the 3rd Way,
will inherit the earth.

You have interrupted
a private ceremony, Mr. Solo.

I see.
My deepest apologies.

- Shall we go?
- Uh, no. No, no, no.

Because of you, I've been driven
halfway around the world

and forced into hiding
on this moldy island.

'So whatever you have
to say to me'

you can say here and now,
and quickly.

We'd like you to work
for us on an assignment.

Work for you?

Well, you're wanted
in 17 countries

on charges of felonies,
everything from grand theft--

Uh, no, no, no. Your
bookkeeping is a little off.

- It's 22 countries.
- My apology.

However, if you cooperate
with us

we're prepared to offer you
total amnesty.

- All 22 countries?
- All 22 countries.

What, uh, kind of cooperation
do you want?

Well, I'm not prepared
to give you the details

'but you're supposed to be the
best safecracker in the world.'

'You just have a chance
to prove it.'

Well, uh, I suppose
I could use a shave at that.

Gentleman, I,
I want to thank you

for your generous hospitality
these past months.

- I wanna thank you and I wa..
- Aah, aah, aah..

The old man.

'Look, he's going to speak.'

A-a-ah. Uh, ah, aah.

Uh, uh, ah.

The old man won't speak
in front of a stranger.

It's supposed to be bad luck.

I'm sorry.

[dramatic music]

(Luther)
'Hmm, the thermal prism.'

Yes, yes, I see. No wonder
you're so eager for help.

You may turn the lights on now.

You put that into orbit
and you have

the super-weapon of all time.

I know because I tried
to develop one myself.

Unfortunately, I was unable to
acquire the necessary materials.

But now someone has
developed it. Who?

Dr. Parviz Kharmusi.

- Oh, yes, yes, the noted..
- The noted..

The noted Persian scientist.
Yes, I've heard of him.

Mr. Solo is confirmed to arrive
in Teheran at noon, sir.

Good, I'll contact--

What is it you want me
to do exactly?

I was about to get into that,
Mr. Sebastian.

Besides your ill manners,
which I now observe at firsthand

our computers have shown you
to be the most efficient

criminally oriented mind
with advanced degrees

in engineering,
physics and chemistry.

Apparently, you've avoided
the humanities.

It seems you designed
the [indistinct] system

while still in graduate school.

And this Kharmusi keeps
the thermal prism

in a [indistinct] safe.

If the tumbler circuits
haven't been modified

you should have no difficulty
opening it.

Even if they have,
it shouldn't be any problem.

Where is the safe?
How do I get to it?

This is a general outline
of the Kharmusi estate.

'There's an electrical warning
system around the perimeter.'

'There are guard towers here'

'here and here.'

We jam their radar
and then parachute in here

just before daybreak.

That gives us all day
and most of the night

to penetrate whatever

warning systems and devices
they have through this area

until we ultimately reach
the estate building itself.

Mr. Solo will coordinate
from inside the building.

I like the way
you put that very casually.

We will penetrate
their warning system.

You can be sure that this
Kharmusi will have top security.

Now, look, Solo said
this mission was dangerous

but no one said anything
about suicide.

I will take you to the safe.

Well, don't forget. I can
only open it if I'm alive.

If I fail, I'm willing
to take full responsibility.

[instrumental music]

(woman on PA system)
'Announcing the arrival of..'

[telephone ringing]

Hello.

(female #1)
'Who is expecting a call?'

Napoleon Solo.

'And what would he like
to hear?'

- Directions.
- '29, North East Avenue.'

Alright.

[dramatic music]

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

I'm Napoleon Solo.
Perhaps you are expecting me.

No...but he is.

Hmm?

[intense music]

[music continues]

[car approaches]

[music continues]

Chamber of commerce.

Come on, let's get the gear.

(female #2)
'Mr. Solo. Hey, Mr. Solo.'

'Mr. Solo.'

I'm Annie Justin, Mr. Solo.

I'm afraid there's been
a terrible misunderstanding.

Well, here's your ID card.

I had no idea that
you were an UNCLE agent.

Are you seriously hurt?

Is there anything I can
do for you? Anything.

No, no. Please don't.

Where's your
travelling companion?

Oh, this is Hassan Aksoy,
Mr. Solo.

Perhaps you've heard
of the four Aksoy brothers.

'Well, they were a circus act.'

I don't care who he is
or who you are

or actually why I got hit.

I'm a busy man. I've got
another engagement, so I'm--

Oh, no, wait a minute, Mr. Solo.

Oh, we're looking
for Luther Sebastian.

At first, we thought
you were working with him

but I had no idea that you
were bringing him to justice.

If you could just tell us in
which country he is going to--

Uh, sorry.
I can't help you right now.

I've seen your act. Step aside.

Oh, Hassan can't speak,
Mr. Solo.

Poor darling cut off his tongue
doing a stunt.

Alright, I don't want him
to get hurt.

Oh, don't worry about that.

Your gun isn't loaded.
He emptied the clip himself.

Now you're a captive audience.

You really must help me,
Mr. Solo.

You see my fiance, Hugh Winslow
of the Beaconsfield Winslows

well, he's in a Turkish prison
because Sebastian framed him

for a murder that he committed.

I spent a whole year
collecting evidence.

I must free my poor Hugh
from that awful prison.

He's very frail.

Hassan's brother, Ali shares
a cell with my poor Hugh.

Well, Sebastian framed Ali
as well.

Hassan gets very temperamental
at times, Mr. Solo.

So you'd better tell us
where we can find Sebastian.

We need Sebastian
for something very important.

When we're through with him,
you can help yourself.

Aren't you going to bring him
to trial?

If he does as he's supposed to

the charges against him
will be dropped.

You've made some sort of deal
with him, haven't you?

You're going to let
Sebastian go free.

[grunting]

I look upon this
as a minor setback, Mr. Solo.

My bullet clip, please.

Here.

If you think I'm going
to let poor Hugh

wither away in prison
just because of you..

'Well, you haven't heard
the last from us.'

Nothing will stop us!

[gunshot]

He was reaching for a knife.

You shouldn't have done that.

I'm Azalea.

Your identification, Mr. Solo.

And your identification?

I'm here to take you
to your doctor's appointment.

We're late, Mr. Solo.

I'll meet you outside.

[sighs]

This is a dangerous game.

And I think you better leave
it to the professionals.

I don't think it was necessary
to kill him.

We'll never know for certain,
will we?

[instrumental music]

[tires screeching]

Kharmusi will observe you
very closely.

I hope you're prepared.

Yes.

If I get there alive.

[tires screeching]

I'm supposed to pose
as an American millionaire

with a shadowy past.

'And the shadowy past is to
cover up any inconsistencies.'

There must not even be one,
Mr. Solo.

You must take
no unnecessary chances.

[tires screeching]

I know what you mean, ahem.

[tires screeching]

Dr. Kharmusi's estate.

Just one question.
Why are you helping us?

[chuckles]
I'm his wife.

[intense music]

[tires screeching]

Wait here.

[beeping]

Fifty cents in loose change.

Two fillings in the teeth.

Wristwatch and money clip.

[music continues]

Your room.

Cocktails at 8:00.

Thank you.

[dramatic music]

[transmitter beeping]

Napoleon's inside.

We're on schedule so far.

[dramatic music]

[grunting]

Violence is your department.

You'll, uh, think of something,
I'm sure.

You think anyone else
knows we're here?

Ah! Perhaps not.

[panting]
Let's hope these two
won't be missed till evening.

I must congratulate you
on the way you handled them.

Couldn't have done it
without your help.

Tell me, how are we,
uh, supposed to get

to that building?
It's a sheer drop.

When nightfall comes

we go over and down.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

Mr. Solo, I presume.

[dramatic music]

The mountain should put us on
the blind side of their radar.

I don't like it.

Why should they
turn 'em on now?

You can worry about that later.
Let's get moving.

If you're in such a hurry,
why don't you go on ahead?

I'll meet you on the other side
of the minefield.

After you.

[device beeping]

[beeps rapidly]

Good. As I thought,
sequence mines.

[music continues]

[sprays]

[beeping]

[beeps rapidly]

[beeping]

[beeps rapidly]

[beeps rapidly]

[beeping]

[beeping stops]

[music continues]

How fortunate for me, Mr. Solo,
that you should appear..

...at this very moment
in my life.

Most fortunate indeed.

I'm sure our association would
be a mutual benefit, doctor.

I understand all principals

benefited from your
syndicate financing

a certain colonial
administration in Africa.

No, that was in
the Southeast Asia, not Africa.

Mm. My error.

In any event,
the thermal prism once in orbit

will be a weapon that will
give the balance of power

to whichever country
leases the device from us.

We shall be able to command
any price, Mr. Solo.

(Solo)
'I would say the profit picture
looks very hopeful.'

Perhaps I might see
the prism for myself

and any results
of preliminary testing.

There will be time
for that, Mr. Solo.

There's time now.

Tomorrow, at our leisure--

If you don't mind, doctor,
I'd like to see it tonight.

You see, I have to make contact
with my associates tomorrow

'in order to place my resources
at your disposal.'

Such arrangements take time

and there's little point
in wasting any.

I dislike being hurried..

...by you, Mr. Solo.

- You'll get used to it.
- Yes. Yes.

I am reduced to dealing
with businessmen..

...and an American at that.

I understand your resources
are no longer available.

It is true, because of
certain tragic instances

in my private life.

They were all lies.
You understand?

Gross lies. Obscene lies!

It was a carefully drawn plot
against me, I'm certain of that.

[scoffs]
On the face of it, their
allegations were ludicrous.

Allegations concerning
proposals I had made.

Anonymous firm calls the
young ladies...students of mine.

As you can see, Mr. Solo,
my enemies will go

to any length to discredit me.

Oh, my Azalea..

...she's the only one...
to understand.

I'm sure of that.

The most undemanding woman.

A good woman.

[telephone ringing]

Of course. Immediately.

A surprise for Mr. Solo.

And a surprise for us all.

A young lady attempted
to penetrate our security.

Your wife.

Hello, darling, how are you?

You went away and you left me.

- Oh, ho!
- Well..

I did not know you were married.

It's, uh, one
of the benefits of secrecy.

- I wasn't expecting you.
- Oh, of course, you weren't.

You never take me anywhere.
How do you do?

Dr. Kharmusi at your service.

Oh, you must be
his kind-hearted nurse.

Yes, uh, Dr. Kharmusi is a very
famous world scientist, my dear.

I'm overwhelmed and delighted
that you're here

but he and I do have
some business to discuss

so I suggest you go
back up to your room.

(Parviz)
'If you will please
excuse me, Mr. Solo'

I have no doubt that you would
much prefer the company

of your most lovely wife
for the moment.

We can discuss business
tomorrow at our leisure.

I'd prefer not to wait.

I insist.

You would not think me
a proper host otherwise.

Goodnight.

[dramatic music]

He knows something. We've got
to get into that vault now.

It will be extremely dangerous
because they're sure to watch

our every move
on their monitors.

We can't wait.

Why don't you and I
take a little stroll?

Have a guided tour.

We'll find out what
they're up to soon enough.

It may be a coordinated plan..

...with other elements outside.

Put all external security
on condition red.

[dramatic music]

This is the doctor's collection
of original [indistinct]

- Hmm.
- From the Caspian Sea area.

He is the most celebrated
artist in all of Persia.

We wait here
for Napoleon's signal.

End of the road.

This is the vault room,
Mr. Solo.

No one may enter here.
Only Dr. Kharmusi can open it.

They're at the vault now,
doctor.

Perhaps you'd like to see
the doctor's collection

of poisoned mushrooms.

Yes, I'd like to see that.

[beeping]

[dramatic music]

[sizzling]

I'd like to speak
to Dr. Kharmusi at once.

[gasps]
Oh, that was quick.

I didn't know doctors
still made house calls.

I've been there
some time...admiring.

What may I do for you?

Uh, well, oh, since everybody
is making deals, um

well, I'd like to make
one with you.

Um, an exchange of information
actually.

I would hesitate to deny you.

Alright.

I'm not Solo's wife,
and he's a spy.

Yes, I know.

You do?

Now what may I offer you?

Luther Sebastian. Where is he?

Sebastian?

Not having met the gentleman,
I'm sure I couldn't say.

But I should imagine
Mr. Solo would know.

You answered my question

but I didn't like the answer.

- I'm sorry.
- I'm not afraid to use this.

Please, do.

We detected that weapon the
moment you entered the building.

It has since been unloaded.

Now shall we go and see
what Mr. Solo can tell us?

[crackling]

[alarm blaring]

We didn't set off that alarm.

Solo.

[alarm blaring continues]

Switch to ultimate V.

- What are you doing?
- Maneuvering, my dear.

[alarm blaring continues]

Uh, Mr. Solo, a few questions.

And if you please,
a few answers.

The young lady here would like
to find one Luther Sebastian.

Who is he?
When may I expect him?

Difficult questions, doctor.

Then you must consider
the answers carefully, Mr. Solo.

Turn on the sand.

[dramatic music]

'Let me know if anything
comes to mind.'

Water is a precious commodity
in the desert

so we converted
this device to sand.

[music continues]

They have monitors
in all the hallways.

Check all alarm circuits.

Everything negative, sir.

I should have known.

Never to trust a woman
who's always on time.

It always indicates
a much deeper problem.

We have to find
the right circuit

'to kill that
whole monitor system.'

Time is running out, Mr. Solo.

[music continues]

[grunting]

[device beeping]

Pardon me, sir.

Our 10 o'clock security check
revealed two of our men

found unconscious
at the perimeter of the estate.

Why was this
not reported to me earlier?

We were investigating.

We didn't wanna
disturb you until, uh

'we found
something conclusive.'

Of course.
Anyone can make a mistake.

[music continues]

[thud]

But not just anyone
can work for me.

Sir, the monitor system
has gone out in section five.

Switch off the warning alarm.
Activate red light security.

[dramatic music]

Wait here.

[music continues]

[grunts]

(Kuryakin)
Uh-uh.
The walls are sensitized.

So is the floor.

'You drop as much as a feather'

'you'll hear nothing
but alarms.'

What about the face of the safe?

Same.

(Parviz)
'There is only one
way out, Mr. Solo.'

[coughing]

[music continues]

[grunts]

[music continues]

[clicking]

[flickering]

I'll be back
in a few minutes.

Where do you think
you're going?

Napoleon may need some help.

That's his problem.

I'll be back in a few minutes.

[intense music]

(Parviz)
'This is your final opportunity,
Mr. Solo.'

[coughing]

Monitor circuits in section five
have been cut, sir.

There's also a hole
in the roof.

Seal off all exits.
I'm going to section five.

- I don't think he's gonna talk.
- I don't think either.

Turn off the sand. Well,
you're not gonna let him die!

That is exactly
what I'm going to do.

That is why
I am a successful scientist

and he's going to be a dead spy.

Well, then,
why am I still alive?

We'll discuss that later.
Privately.

[dramatic music]

[clanking]

[grunts]

[music continues]

[grunts]

Turn that off,
or I'll turn you off.

- The switch is right there.
- Do it.

[music continues]

Oh, no. Please take me with you.

I'm a friend of Mr. Solo, uh..

[grunting]

[gunshot]

[electricity crackling]

[gunshot]

[alarm blaring]

[alarm blaring continues]

[grunting]

[beeping]

[dramatic music]

[gunshots]

Ah!

[gunshots]

I brought your friend.

Swell. Where's Sebastian?

[dramatic music]

[crackling]

[alarm blaring]

You may come out from there.

[grunts]

[gunshot]

Violence is our department,
remember?

Well, look at the positive side.

He'll, uh, never build
another thermal prism.

Are you dying? Are you?

By special surgery,
a tiny transmitter

was implanted in his heart.

When his heart stops,
an auto-destruct mechanism

is activated
and the building will explode.

He said to me many times

"You can't take it with you."

[alarm blaring]

That's the beginning.
The auto destruct.

- How do we get out of here?
- You can drive. Come on.

(Kuryakin)
'Get the prism.'

[alarm blaring]

[tires screeching]

[dramatic music]

[crashing]

[rumbling]

[explosion]

[gun fire]

[music continues]

[gun fire]

[music continues]

[explosion]

(Sebastian)
Very good, Carl.

I think I have a number
of questions to ask you.

Hmm, just one really.
What am I doing?

And the answer, Mr. Solo,
is that

I'm keeping the thermal prism
for myself.

After all, I planned
this entire expedition.

'I couldn't get in
to the Kharmusi estate'

'with my personnel,
so quite naturally'

'I agreed to let UNCLE
do the job for me.'

You'll get the general idea,
I'm sure.

Hmm. I'm afraid so.

You seemed to have planned
everything carefully

including the right safe
in the vault

so that we'd be sure
and recruit you.

Actually,
Azalea handled that for me.

Oh, but credit
where credit is due.

We couldn't have
done it without you.

Put them on the boat,
and tie them up.

(Solo)
'Your plan is somewhat
incomplete, Sebastian.'

The prism is only marginally
effective unless it's in orbit.

You'll have to do that
for yourselves.

I don't think we'll be
interested in helping you there.

Thank you. I've taken that
into consideration.

You remember these gentlemen,
Mr. Solo.

'Disciples of the 3rd Way?'

The white hair was my idea.

A sign of fealty.

Yes, um,
Azalea is our high priestess.

She should be.

Assuming you get the prism
into orbit, what then?

The 3rd Way will demand
a national homeland

for its followers.

We will control the balance
of power in the world.

You know what I think?
I think you people are strange.

'Really strange.'

I don't know who you are,
but I have a feeling

you probably deserve
whatever happens to you.

Your contact ship's out there.
We'll deliver you to them.

I wouldn't suppose this ship
were rigged to blow up.

Wouldn't you?

I would.

Come, Azalea.

(Sebastian)
Full throttle ahead.

[intense music]

[boat engine revving]

- 'No reply, sir.'
- Something must've gone wrong.

(Waverly)
'She's on a collision course.'

Shall I order
the boat destroyed?

[sighs]
Yes.

Prepare torpedo launch.

[boat engine revving]

Fire one!

Did you hear that?

Sounds like they fired
a torpedo at us.

'They did!'

[dramatic music]

Over the side!

[explosion]

Put a light over there.

The rope, sir.
We can use a rope!

The water
is s-s-somewhat c-c-cold.

Alright.

I assure you we have
considerably warmer water

for you if you
don't have the prism.

[instrumental music]

The research computers
cannot confirm

Sebastian's rocket capabilities.

Not enough data.

If Sebastian can find a way
to launch that prism into space

he'll be in a position
of incredible power.

We must use every precaution,
gentlemen.

Time is against us.

The Aegean Island
has been abandoned

and the Athens office reports
they've found no clues.

Here's something though.

Sebastian has a wife..

...living in Los Angeles.

Evidently separated.

It's not much
of a lead to be sure.

- Better check it out, Mr. Solo.
- Yes, sir.

Uh, what about the girl
that jeopardized your mission?

'Where is she now?'

She's in debriefing, sir.

I don't believe she'll cause
us anymore trouble.

[alarm blaring]

What happened?

We had just
finished debriefing

when she slipped out
of the room.

We found her in the
equipment section pilfering.

I'll take her to reception.

I was just admiring
your marvelous equipment.

Why, if I had all this
at my disposal

I'd find Sebastian
in no time at all.

You're certainly not doing much
to find him. My poor Hugh.

Why, we've been engaged
for eight months now

and all this time, he's been
rotting in a Turkish prison.

And do you know why?

Because your friend,
Mr. Sebastian framed him.

Well, don't you care?
Don't you care at all?

[intense music]

[window rattling]

Sebastian was graduated
from Harvard at the age of 18.

'We were married then
in Des Moines.'

But everyone resented Sebastian.

They said he was too smart
for his own good.

So he went his own way. I
haven't seen him in eight years.

'Now you know
all there is to know.'

So please leave
from where you came.

You often give
these guided tours?

CIA, the FBI, Scotland Yard,
and the Better Business Bureau.

Over the years, they've all been
here at one time or another.

I'm used to the traffic
though I think, uh

five o'clock in the morning
is a little too much, don't you?

I'm Napoleon S-O-L-O
from the U-N-C-L-E.

Mm-hmm. It's been, uh, some time
since an UNCLE agent was here.

I thought you had
forgotten about us.

No. We never forget.

Oh, please do
and leave me alone.

A question, if you haven't seen
him in the last eight years..

...why do you stay here
and keep up this charade

as Mrs. Luther Sebastian?

Oh, I have my pride, Mr. Solo.

What if everyone in Des Moines
found out that I was living here

like this so...alone
with nothing?

Hmm. What would they do?
Tell me.

Oh, they'd talk.

Mm. One last question.

Uh, why should I believe you?

Oh. Because I'm lonely.

Well, I think I'll, uh,
just take a look around

if you don't mind.

Oh. Help yourself.

I'll, uh, slip into something
more comfortable.

Oh, it's, uh,
on second thought

I don't think I'll find
what I'm looking for here.

[chuckles]

- Are you sure?
- No.

That's the chance
I'll have to take though.

Goodbye.

What kept you so long?

May I speak to Mr. Sebastian,
please?

This is Mrs. Sebastian.

Yes, I'll wait,
but please hurry.

I'll need a computer
possibilities breakdown

on missile transports.

Have it on my desk by morning.

I'll try, sir,
but that's a big job.

I don't know
if I'll have it by then.

- You will.
- Yes, sir.

Make a note to have Carl sent
on that volunteer assignment

scheduled for tomorrow.

- Yes, sir.
- I like the way you said that.

It has a nice tone of..

...respect, efficiency.

- Yes, sir.
- Keep it up.

Yes, sir.

[telephone ringing]

- Yes?
- It's me.

I miss you.

Oh, it's you.

Well, you know I can't live
much longer without you.

There was an UNCLE agent
that just left here.

- 'Napoleon Solo.'
- What?

He's...still alive, huh?

Well, thank you for the call,
dear, I'll, uh..

...be sending you a little
something extra this month.

Luther? Where are you now?

When are you coming home?

We're not to talk of that,
Laura. You know I have my work.

Signal the men stationed
outside my wife's house

to pursue and destroy the spy
that just left there.

Yes, sir.

I guess it's no secret.

My wife doesn't understand me.

[dramatic music]

[tires screeching]

[explosion]

[gunshots]

[music continues]

[explosion]

Turn around. Slowly.

[gunshots]

[intense music]

[radio beeping]

(woman on radio)
'69-S, please.
Assignment confirmation.'

This is 69-S.
Assignment completed.

(woman on radio)
'Your application
for volunteer duty'

'has been approved, 69-S.'

'You're to proceed immediately
to Sierra Canyon Highway.'

'Set your homing monitors
on frequency D.'

'I repeat, proceed immediately.'

I'll be there.

[intense music]

- You're too late for breakfast.
- I know.

I ain't about to do
any more cookin'.

It's my misfortune.

Mom, it's time.
Will you turn on the set?

Mom! Please.

Turn on the set, Mom.

Keep a lookout
in the back, Mom.

Keep 'em covered, Mom!

(Sebastian on TV)
'Good afternoon, gentlemen.'

Today, you embark upon a mission
of paramount importance.

Our future,
the future of the world..

...depends upon the outcome
of your mission today.

This afternoon, gentlemen,
you will obtain for us

a United States
government rocket.

This rocket is the final stage
in our grand design.

With it, we shall put
the thermal prism into orbit.

And the world
will be at our feet.

'I'm making a special
close circuit appearance'

to our faithful members
across the country today.

They will gather
in their meeting places

anxiously awaiting the
mission-accomplishedsignal

from you men.

Good luck.

And...keep the faith.

You four men will go
with 18-B here

and he'll fill you
in on the way.

The rest of you will be
coming with me in the truck.

Now you leave your car keys
with Mom

and she will dispose
of the cars.

- Where's the, uh--
- That door.

Excuse me.

Open Channel D, please.

[beeping]

- Kuryakin here.
- Alright.

I'm pressed for time, Illya.
I'm on the inside.

With any luck, I'll get to
Sebastian's headquarters today.

Now get this, Sebastian
is using a close circuit system

built by West-Industries.
It may lead..

- Come on. Let's go.
- Napolean?

Napoleon?

Thanks, Mom.

If everything
goes right, Mom

I'm gonna be taking you away
from this place pretty soon.

I like it here.

I know. I know.

Creeps.

Open Channel D, please.

Don't get too close.
He's very tricky.

I've checked out
Mr. Solo's lead.

Security research informs me
that an organization known as

Three Way Incorporated recently
purchased a close circuit

television system
from West-Industries.

(Kuryakin on radio)
'It was delivered
to a local address'

a vacant motion picture theatre.

Checking further I discovered
that the theatre was purchased

only a few weeks ago
by Three Way Incorporated.

Well, I would suppose that
the theatre is a meeting place

for Sebastian's organization.

- Best check it out.
- I'm on my way there now, sir.

Oh, I just hope he leads
us to that awful woman

that killed poor Hassan.

Mmm.

Did anyone ever
mention that you look

exactly like your brother?

Uh. Uh.

[horn honking]

[dramatic music]

Alright, men. Come on out.

There she is.

The rocket's
on that flatcar.

Now we gotta
select a drop man.

Take out
your ID cards.

I'm gonna do this
very democratically.

The highest number which is
issued to the newest member.

Ah. 69-S.

Looks like it's you.

[helicopter whirring]

This explosive has
a ten-second timing device.

It's just about right
to, uh, gobble a flatcar.

Now you'll time it so that
once you drop in a flatcar

you can blow
the coupling right away.

And we'll take
care of the rest.

What about the guards?

The other unit
will take care

of the ones
on the outside.

Uh, the car
in front of the rocket

is full
of federal agents, but, uh

we'll be in and out so fast,
they won't know what hit 'em.

Alright. I'll count on it.

Good luck.
Keep the faith.

[dramatic music]

[train bell ringing]

[music continues]

[train bell ringing]

[gunshots]

[music continues]

[thwacks]

[music continues]

[beeping]

[beeping]

[helicopter whirring]

[train bell ringing]

[dramatic music]

[train bell ringing]

[music continues]

[train bell ringing]

[train bell ringing]

[helicopter whirring]

[train bell ringing]

[train chugging]

[explosion]

[train bell ringing]

[intense music]

[train chugging]

[music continues]

[thud]

[music continues]

[metal screeches]

[thud]

[music continues]

You did a...good job.

But you'll have to ride in the
back with the rest of the men.

- Hmm?
- I can't show any favoritism.

Oh, yeah. I understand.

[instrumental music]

[engine revving]

[music continues]

[cracking]

[door closes]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[dramatic music]

[intense music]

[music continues]

[woman screams]

[music continues]

[intense music]

[dramatic music]

[indistinct chattering]

[music continues]

Brothers and sisters..

...the great throbbing heart
of the 3rd Way embraces us.

[instrumental music]

We who are dedicated

to a new mystical insight

'transcending all others'

'till death do us part.'

We have rejected society
with all its false values.

But never forgetting...
that society rejected us first.

'Brothers and sisters..'

...you have found refuge..

...when all about you
were losing theirs.

'A place for all of you..'

'...and all of you
in his place.'

The cry goes out

to every nation.

Send us your tired..

...your automated,
your exploited..

...yearning to break free.

(man on speaker)
'We put you now
to 3rd Way headquarters'

'for an urgent message.'

(Sebastian on screen)
Uh, good afternoon,
my brothers and sisters.

I have just received word
from our special forces unit..

...that they have
successfully acquired

the United States
government rocket.

'The rocket is now
on its way to headquarters.'

'This rocket is the, uh,
final in a series of, uh'

'unofficial acquisitions we've
made over the past months.'

'Uh, with it,
we now have sufficient..'

Open Channel D, please.

[coughing]

(Sebastian on screen)
'...to launch
the thermal prism into orbit.'

'Within a matter of hours,
we will control'

'the most powerful
weapon in the world.'

'And now..'

'...my followers..'

'...it will be up to you
in your individual chapters'

'to carry through
on the local level.'

'Once the prism is in orbit, you
will form into tactical units'

'as indicated in your manuals.'

You will then perform
communications control

carry out all
necessary assassinations

and generally maintain order

while the world is
responding to our requests.

'Until then I remain..'

...your humble servant.

Goodbye.

And...keep the faith.

This man is a trespasser.

We forgive him...
in our own way.

[intense music]

[Kuryakin grunts]

I think that he
and the young lady..

...have just
won a free trip..

...to Los Angeles.

[intense music]

[car engine revs]

Very good.

Drive it to headquarters!
Time is of the essence!

[engine cranks]

[engine revving]

This is an historic moment.

What you men have done today
will be long remembered

by the peace-loving
peoples of the world.

'You have proven yourselves
worthy of the 3rd Way..'

'...and the 3rd Way
will show its gratitude.'

I have a small surprise for you.

Azalea!

'You all know our
high priestess, Azalea.'

- Keep them covered.
- Hmm.

A little something
from the management.

[indistinct chattering]

[indistinct chattering]

The jewel pin on Azalea.

It's one of ours.

I'll have Mr. Waverly put
a tracking scanner on it.

What does Sebastian
have in mind for you?

I don't know.

Nothing good I'm sure.

[indistinct chattering]

Another brother.

[indistinct chattering]

[clears throat]
You, uh, want me to go
to headquarters with you?

No, Carl.

You deserve to stay
here with your comrades.

Enjoy.

Hey.

[instrumental music]

Whoo!

- Hi there.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Listen, I have to make a call.

- Oh, no!
- No, I really do.

No, don't.

[indistinct chattering]

[instrumental music]

[intense music]

In case you're wondering
why you're still alive..

...you will have the great
privilege of witnessing

my people put
the thermal prism into orbit.

(Kuryakin)
And use UNCLE
as a mouthpiece to..

...relay your demands
to the world, I suppose.

Exactly.

I think your organization
should be very helpful.

It'd save me
a lot of paperwork.

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chattering]

[music continues]

- I found you again.
- Uh-huh, so you did.

Look what I brought you.

Listen, I still have
to make that phone call.

Oh, you'll like me.
I make friends easily.

I-I-I'm sure.
I'll be right back.

Oh, no! I can't take
another rejection, mister.

[laughing]

Oh, now you'll
have to stay

and slip into
something nice and warm.

I understand your
natural enthusiasm.

Say, I thought there was
something funny about you.

Your hair dye..

...isn't supposed to come off.

Hey, he's a fake!

Hey, everybody! He's a fake!

[girls screaming]

[gunshots]

What is that?

Oh.

It isn't mine.

Of course not.
It's a homing device.

Which one
of you did this?

What difference
does it make?

None, really.
What's the matter with him?

Why doesn't he speak
when I ask him a question?

Well, when Omar was in
the circus with his brothers

well, he used to
lie on the ground

and life weights over his head.

One of them dropped.

Then put the pin on him.

[gasps]

Put it on!

What do you
have in mind?

Well, he won't make..

...much of a career, will he?

[tires screeching]

Happens all the time
on the freeways.

The, uh, party
at the warehouse

must be well underway.

Oh...thank you.

Thank you
for reminding me.

Loyalty is..

...something that's
difficult to measure.

[gunshots]

[all screaming]

[gunshots]

[girls screaming]

[gunshots]

[all coughing]

[gunshots]

[electricity crackling]

[gunshots]

[all coughing]

Don't tell me. You're another
one of the Aksoy Brothers.

I'm Kareem Aksoy.

How did you know?

Just lucky I guess.

[tires screeching]

You're not tryin' to tell
us that you're gonna

launch a rocket
from this building.

It must be some kind of hoax.

I can't believe
you're really serious.

He is serious.

Yes, he is. Isn't he?

My technicians formed
an opening in the roof

directly above
the rocket.

Now, this side of the building
has been reinforced

'to serve as a silo.'

I think the old man
is about to speak.

What's the matter with him?

He hasn't uttered
a word in 20 years.

The belief is
that when he speaks

the 3rd Way will
inherit the Earth.

You probably
believe that too.

I am the high priestess.

It's my job to believe it
more than anyone.

[all sighing]

Well, uh..

...I'm sure that, uh,
once the thermal prism

is launched tonight,
the old man will speak.

And appropriately so..

'...for then we'll be prepared'

to fulfill his mystic destiny.

Return to your stations.

I don't want to be a killjoy,
but isn't the control panel

rather close
to the base of the rocket?

It could explode,
you know.

No danger,
Mr. Kuryakin.

The shield around
the base is composed

'of a special
heat resistant alloy.'

One I created myself,
as a matter of fact.

My people will be..

...well protected.

Uh, put these two under guard

in the observation booth.

[intense music]

That's all of them, sir.

Sign on the bottom, please.

Thank you.

How long have you been
watching this warehouse?

Day and night
for six months.

The one day I'm late returning
from lunch, I miss Sebastian.

[radio beeping]

Excuse me.

Solo here.

We've traced down
their homing device

Mr. Solo.

It was found on the body

of one Omar Aksoy.

(Waverly on radio)
'Nowhere near Sebastian'

'needless to say.'

Do you have anything specific

on Sebastian
from any other sources?

Nothing yet, Mr. Solo.
No, not a thing.

I'm sorry about your brother.

I will repay Sebastian.

One thousand fold.

[intense music]

The computers are locked
in, sir. All systems go.

All units secure
countdown positions.

Confirm all tower
tracking zones.

Double lock all computers.

Confirmed.

Alright!

Countdown set for zero hour
minus fifteen minutes.

[door bangs open]

(Solo)
'When I left here last night,
they almost killed me.'

'Now, you got them onto me.'

You know how to get
in touch with Sebastian.

[gasps]

I want you to get in
touch with him for me, now!

- I can't.
- Now!

Oh, honest, I can't.

I'm afraid you'll have to.

Now, look, the world
is running out of time

and I'm running out of patience.
Now, are you going to..

[radio beeping]

(woman on radio)
'Report to headquarters,
Mr. Solo.'

'Emergency, pattern 14.'

I'm afraid you'll have
to wait. I'm about--

'That's a direct order
from Mr. Waverly.'

Alright.

I'll be back for you.

[engine revving]

(man on PA)
'H hour minus
11 minutes, 15 seconds.'

[telephone ringing]

[door bangs open]

Thanks.

I knew you'd oblige.

Hello. Hello?

There's a malfunction
in the nose cone interlock.

Well, get someone tofix it!

Emergency clearance.

I want a circuit breakdown
on a local area

on FRL23-MP246.

[dramatic music]

[sobbing]

There is no need for those.

These aren't for me.

I was just thinkin'
of my poor Hugh.

At this very moment

give or take
a few hours time difference..

...he's rotting in
that awful Turkish jail.

And if somethin' happens
to me, he'll never get out.

We've pinpointed
the location, sir.

1-5-4-4-4 Wilshire Boulevard.

Uh, backup units
are on the way, Mr. Solo.

That should be it.

I want that nose cone repaired!

Now!

[dramatic music]

[whooshes]

[gunshot]

[intense music]

Too late, Mr. Solo.

(Sebastian on PA)
'We began without you.'

[thud]

[music continues]

[gunshot]

He's very annoying.

Can you force
the door open?

[door creaking]

[thud]

They must be
at the lowest level.

[music continues]

The interlock..

...is it fixed yet?

Well..

Lock all computers,
finalize all procedures!

[music continues]

[grunts]

(man on PA)
'H hour minus five minutes.'

[music continues]

[door creaking]

Against the wall!

[gunshots]

[intense music]

(Sebastian)
The rocket is on
auto control, Mr. Solo.

You can't stop it now.

You've done a good job, the best
you could do, but it's all over.

[grunting]

'And even if you send me
to jail, I'll get out.'

And the thermal prism will be

up there waiting for me.

Maybe not.

[dramatic music]

[groaning]

Solo!

[thwacking]

[grunting]

[glass shattering]

[glass shattering]

[grunting]

(man on PA)
'Ten, nine, eight'

'seven, six, five'

'four, three, two'

'one, zero, fire.'

[whooshing]

[instrumental music]

[intense music]

Alright, destroy
all that equipment.

[metal clanking]

[banging]

[sizzling]

[explosion]

(Kuryakin)
'He's dead.'

[sighs]

I wonder what
he would've said.

Thank you.

A visitor for you.

Oh, thank you, Napoleon.

Oh, thank you.

My darlin' Hugh finally
released from prison

and you arranged
everything!

Oh, thank you!

How do you do? I'm Ali Aksoy.

Where is Hugh?

- Where is he?
- You must be Annie.

Well, where is Hugh?

Uh, dear, he isn't coming.

Well, it seems his mother

was notified of his release

and she was waiting
at the prison gate.

Well, even though
he was jailed unjustly

well, as was I

well, the family kept the entire
affair a secret, you know?

Uh, but...but he, uh, he
did ask me to give you this.

Oh.

At least he sent
the ring back.

What are you going to do now?

Find somebody
that fits this.

Well..

...thank you,
Mr. Solo, anyway.

[clears throat]
Uh, I'm indebted to you, sir,
for my release. Thank you.

Dear, lady, I'm
at your service.

May I be of assistance?

(Solo)
'Never can tell.'

The ring might just fit him.

[instrumental music]

Well..

...we'll just have
to find out, won't we?

[music continues]

[sighs]

- Anything new?
- Not much.

Revolution in the Orient

a multi-million dollar
train robbery in England

five kidnapped scientists

and a plan to melt
the polar ice cap.

Good, I think I'll
take the afternoon off.

[instrumental music]

[theme music]

[music continues]