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1
00:01:08,722 --> 00:01:10,349
Excuse us.
2
00:01:10,390 --> 00:01:13,382
Jeez, get a room or something.
3
00:01:13,427 --> 00:01:15,361
All right!
4
00:01:15,395 --> 00:01:17,863
They're getting charged
for those.
5
00:01:17,898 --> 00:01:19,991
Those books aren't cheap,
either.
6
00:01:20,033 --> 00:01:22,365
What are you looking at?
7
00:01:25,873 --> 00:01:27,864
Hey, Gerry,
isn't that your bus?
8
00:01:27,908 --> 00:01:29,637
Great way
to start the summer.
9
00:01:29,676 --> 00:01:33,510
Wait! Stop the bus! Stop!
10
00:01:33,547 --> 00:01:36,880
Ha ha ha!
Go, fat boy, go!
11
00:01:36,917 --> 00:01:40,717
# Everybody wants to live,
and they want to live #
12
00:01:40,754 --> 00:01:45,555
# And everybody wants to love,
and they want to love #
13
00:01:45,592 --> 00:01:49,255
# Everybody wants to be #
14
00:01:49,296 --> 00:01:52,891
# Closer to free #
15
00:01:52,933 --> 00:01:55,561
# Yeah, and yeah, yeah #
16
00:01:55,602 --> 00:01:57,900
# Everybody wants respect #
17
00:01:57,938 --> 00:01:59,405
Foul ball! Strike two!
18
00:01:59,439 --> 00:02:01,168
Little help here, son.
19
00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:03,335
Come on. Toss it over.
20
00:02:03,377 --> 00:02:05,140
# Once in a while #
21
00:02:05,178 --> 00:02:06,543
Unh!
22
00:02:08,615 --> 00:02:10,708
Give it another try, son.
23
00:02:10,751 --> 00:02:12,218
Right here!
24
00:02:14,121 --> 00:02:16,555
Over the fence, son!
25
00:02:18,559 --> 00:02:21,221
Here!
26
00:02:21,261 --> 00:02:22,819
Unh!
27
00:02:31,204 --> 00:02:34,605
# Everybody one,
everybody two #
28
00:02:34,641 --> 00:02:38,577
# Everybody three #
29
00:02:38,612 --> 00:02:42,878
# Everybody needs to touch,
you know, now and then #
30
00:02:42,916 --> 00:02:47,876
# And everybody wants
a good, good friend #
31
00:02:47,921 --> 00:02:51,755
# Everybody wants to be
closer to free #
32
00:02:51,792 --> 00:02:53,919
Lemonade, lemonade.
33
00:02:59,766 --> 00:03:01,131
# Everybody wants to live #
34
00:03:01,168 --> 00:03:02,829
# And they want to live #
35
00:03:04,871 --> 00:03:07,169
Mom!
36
00:03:07,207 --> 00:03:11,371
# Everybody wants to be #
37
00:03:11,411 --> 00:03:14,403
# Closer to free #
38
00:03:21,655 --> 00:03:23,020
Hello?
39
00:03:23,056 --> 00:03:24,523
We're in here, honey.
40
00:03:24,558 --> 00:03:25,889
Come on, son.
41
00:03:27,694 --> 00:03:29,594
Why is everybody home?
42
00:03:29,630 --> 00:03:31,723
Did someone die?
43
00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:35,390
Who's this?
44
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:40,296
Hi, Gerry. Roger Johnson.
45
00:03:40,340 --> 00:03:42,365
Islanders fan, huh?
46
00:03:42,409 --> 00:03:44,536
Team of the future, I say.
47
00:03:44,578 --> 00:03:47,547
Yeah.
Whatever, I'm out of here.
48
00:03:47,581 --> 00:03:49,549
Hold those horses, cowboy.
49
00:03:49,583 --> 00:03:51,210
Mr. Johnson is your guest...
50
00:03:51,251 --> 00:03:55,711
and he's here to talk to you
about a special summer camp.
51
00:03:55,756 --> 00:03:58,316
A camp designed
just for you, Gerry.
52
00:03:58,358 --> 00:04:00,223
Summer camp? No way!
53
00:04:00,260 --> 00:04:02,854
I have plans for the summer.
I'm gonna hang out!
54
00:04:02,896 --> 00:04:05,558
Come on, honey.
He's got a videotape.
55
00:04:05,599 --> 00:04:07,328
Why don't
we take a little peek?
56
00:04:07,367 --> 00:04:09,232
Why don't we not?
57
00:04:13,706 --> 00:04:16,266
Greetings, future campers.
58
00:04:16,309 --> 00:04:20,370
I'm Alice Bushkin,
and this is Harvey...
59
00:04:20,413 --> 00:04:22,847
and we've been
the owners and operators...
60
00:04:22,882 --> 00:04:26,943
of Camp Hope
for 32 wonderful summers.
61
00:04:26,986 --> 00:04:30,319
Won't you join us for number 33?
62
00:04:36,629 --> 00:04:39,655
Whoa!
63
00:04:39,699 --> 00:04:41,030
Hmm.
64
00:04:42,902 --> 00:04:44,961
What's that?
65
00:04:45,004 --> 00:04:46,835
This is called "the Blob."
66
00:04:46,873 --> 00:04:48,602
"The Blob," huh?
67
00:04:48,641 --> 00:04:52,042
You can go
as high as 15 feet.
68
00:04:52,078 --> 00:04:53,705
Wow.
69
00:04:58,651 --> 00:05:00,949
Wow, go-karts.
70
00:05:00,987 --> 00:05:02,716
How many times
can you go on the go-karts?
71
00:05:02,755 --> 00:05:04,655
As much as you want, Gerry.
72
00:05:04,690 --> 00:05:07,955
But be careful.
They can be addicting.
73
00:05:10,363 --> 00:05:11,853
I'm only kidding.
74
00:05:11,898 --> 00:05:13,991
Hi, I'm Pat Finley!
75
00:05:14,033 --> 00:05:16,001
I've been coming here
since I was 10 years old.
76
00:05:16,035 --> 00:05:17,332
Want to know why?
77
00:05:17,370 --> 00:05:19,838
Because Camp Hope
is the fun way to lose weight.
78
00:05:19,872 --> 00:05:21,840
It's a fat camp!
79
00:05:21,874 --> 00:05:25,310
Are you crazy? No way!
80
00:05:25,344 --> 00:05:28,541
I'm not going to a camp
with a bunch of fat-loads!
81
00:05:28,581 --> 00:05:31,550
- Gerry!
- That's not kind, Gerry.
82
00:05:31,584 --> 00:05:33,552
We are doing this
for your own good.
83
00:05:33,586 --> 00:05:35,417
We gotta nip this thing
in the bud.
84
00:05:35,454 --> 00:05:40,050
I'm fine.
This is a joke, right?
85
00:05:40,092 --> 00:05:42,151
You're fatter than I am.
Why don't you go?
86
00:05:42,195 --> 00:05:45,130
You show your father
some respect.
87
00:05:45,164 --> 00:05:47,530
I think we should have
a little powwow...
88
00:05:47,567 --> 00:05:51,731
and we will call you
with our decision later.
89
00:05:51,771 --> 00:05:54,296
I'll give you my decision
right now.
90
00:05:54,340 --> 00:05:56,001
I'm not going.
91
00:06:01,247 --> 00:06:03,306
This is
Captain Harris speaking...
92
00:06:05,418 --> 00:06:07,818
...cruising altitude
of 29,000 feet.
93
00:06:07,854 --> 00:06:10,118
Those of you on the left side
of the aircraft...
94
00:06:10,156 --> 00:06:12,147
have a nice view of
the Blue Ridge Mountains.
95
00:06:12,191 --> 00:06:14,216
Hey, there, Mr. Rainy Day.
96
00:06:14,260 --> 00:06:16,558
I've got a little surprise
for you.
97
00:06:16,596 --> 00:06:18,461
Hmm?
98
00:06:18,497 --> 00:06:19,794
Huh?
99
00:06:19,832 --> 00:06:21,231
...but in your seats...
100
00:06:21,267 --> 00:06:23,827
we request that you keep
your seat belts fastened.
101
00:06:23,870 --> 00:06:25,701
Cutie.
102
00:06:25,738 --> 00:06:28,138
Great.
103
00:06:33,646 --> 00:06:36,342
Headed to fat camp?
104
00:06:36,382 --> 00:06:39,317
No. Why do you say that?
105
00:06:39,352 --> 00:06:42,321
Because you're fat.
Is that your dad?
106
00:06:42,355 --> 00:06:46,223
No. Why do you say that?
107
00:06:46,259 --> 00:06:49,319
Because he's fat, too.
108
00:06:49,362 --> 00:06:51,023
Well, so are you.
109
00:06:51,063 --> 00:06:52,860
I know. That's why
I'm going to fat camp.
110
00:06:52,899 --> 00:06:55,766
- I'm Roy.
- I'm Gerry.
111
00:06:57,069 --> 00:06:58,832
I guess I'm going.
112
00:06:58,871 --> 00:07:00,031
I knew it!
113
00:07:00,072 --> 00:07:01,630
And that's your dad, too,
isn't it?
114
00:07:01,674 --> 00:07:04,302
- Hell no!
- You'll love camp, man.
115
00:07:04,343 --> 00:07:05,503
Camp is awesome.
116
00:07:05,544 --> 00:07:08,479
No one picks on you because
you're not the fat kid.
117
00:07:08,514 --> 00:07:10,948
Everybody's the fat kid.
118
00:07:10,983 --> 00:07:14,248
Stick with me, Gerry,
because I'm the man.
119
00:07:15,788 --> 00:07:19,815
Mr. Bushkin tells the scariest
ghost stories you ever heard.
120
00:07:21,193 --> 00:07:23,821
Yes, have no fear,
I have returned.
121
00:07:23,863 --> 00:07:25,990
I got a rookie here,
and his name's Gerry...
122
00:07:26,032 --> 00:07:28,023
so show him
the same amount of respect...
123
00:07:28,067 --> 00:07:30,592
that you show me--none.
124
00:07:42,882 --> 00:07:44,179
Excuse me!
125
00:07:44,216 --> 00:07:46,184
I'm looking for
several portly adolescents.
126
00:07:46,218 --> 00:07:48,311
That's us.
You're looking good, Pat.
127
00:07:48,354 --> 00:07:50,845
Tell me something
I don't know.
128
00:07:50,890 --> 00:07:53,324
Let's load her up!
129
00:07:53,359 --> 00:07:55,452
Hey, hey!
How you doing, guys?
130
00:07:55,494 --> 00:07:58,190
- Phillip, how are you?
- This is Gerry.
131
00:07:58,230 --> 00:08:00,027
Hey, Gerry.
I'm Pat Finley.
132
00:08:00,066 --> 00:08:01,795
I'm sure you recognize me
from my work...
133
00:08:01,834 --> 00:08:04,632
in the Camp Hope
promotional video.
134
00:08:04,670 --> 00:08:06,331
We have
a little tradition, Gerry.
135
00:08:06,372 --> 00:08:08,306
The new guy drives to camp.
Right, guys?
136
00:08:08,341 --> 00:08:11,367
Keep it under 70.
We got some weird local cops.
137
00:08:11,410 --> 00:08:12,843
You drive a stick, right?
138
00:08:12,878 --> 00:08:14,846
No, but I can try.
139
00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:16,814
No, no, no.
Sorry, cannot risk it.
140
00:08:16,849 --> 00:08:19,818
Come here a second.
I gotta ask you something.
141
00:08:19,852 --> 00:08:21,683
Something very serious.
142
00:08:23,022 --> 00:08:26,150
Are you ready for the best
damn summer of your life?
143
00:08:26,192 --> 00:08:28,092
Yeah!
144
00:08:28,127 --> 00:08:30,322
Is everybody gonna
behave themselves this summer?
145
00:08:30,363 --> 00:08:33,594
- No!
- Good! That's what I expect!
146
00:08:33,632 --> 00:08:37,329
Can't do it.
Gotta get back to the camp!
147
00:08:37,370 --> 00:08:39,497
- Pull over, please!
- Don't bug me!
148
00:08:39,538 --> 00:08:42,371
- All right!
- Yeah!
149
00:08:42,408 --> 00:08:44,672
Ha ha!
Psyched you out!
150
00:08:44,710 --> 00:08:47,042
- You stink, Pat!
- That's not funny!
151
00:08:47,079 --> 00:08:49,070
I thought that was
pretty amusing, myself.
152
00:08:50,549 --> 00:08:52,346
Garner, where you from?
153
00:08:52,385 --> 00:08:55,411
- Long Island.
- Never heard of it.
154
00:08:59,892 --> 00:09:02,622
Sam, don't lean
your head out the window.
155
00:09:02,661 --> 00:09:04,629
We lost six kids
like that last summer.
156
00:09:04,663 --> 00:09:06,460
I'm not going
to pick up your head.
157
00:09:06,499 --> 00:09:08,467
I don't need it anyway!
158
00:09:08,501 --> 00:09:12,801
Camp Hope, everybody!
Best place on earth!
159
00:09:15,341 --> 00:09:18,708
Camp Hope!
Camp Hope! Camp Hope!
160
00:09:18,744 --> 00:09:21,372
Camp Hope!
Camp Hope! Camp Hope!
161
00:09:39,465 --> 00:09:41,092
Mm-hmm.
162
00:09:41,133 --> 00:09:45,297
All right, now in
a nice, orderly fashion...
163
00:09:45,337 --> 00:09:46,634
get off my bus!
164
00:09:48,307 --> 00:09:49,604
It's stuck!
165
00:09:49,642 --> 00:09:52,338
I don't know what to do!
It's stuck!
166
00:10:01,153 --> 00:10:03,849
- Heads up!
- Unh!
167
00:10:03,889 --> 00:10:05,447
Here's another one!
168
00:10:05,491 --> 00:10:06,788
Hey, bony butt.
169
00:10:06,825 --> 00:10:08,850
How was your year,
chicken legs?
170
00:10:08,894 --> 00:10:10,486
It's not funny, guys.
171
00:10:10,529 --> 00:10:11,928
Why are they teasing him?
172
00:10:11,964 --> 00:10:13,795
That's a counselor named Tim.
173
00:10:13,832 --> 00:10:15,959
He used to be one of us,
but then he lost weight...
174
00:10:16,001 --> 00:10:17,628
so we give him
a hard time about it.
175
00:10:17,670 --> 00:10:20,195
- He's cool, though.
- Let's hear it.
176
00:10:20,239 --> 00:10:22,969
Tim, what happened,
did you have a baby?
177
00:10:23,008 --> 00:10:25,499
That's funny.
178
00:10:25,544 --> 00:10:28,741
Just because I got these
great, skinny buns of steel.
179
00:10:28,781 --> 00:10:30,373
Whoo! Look at that--
all tight and toned.
180
00:10:30,416 --> 00:10:32,043
Bet you wish they were yours.
181
00:10:32,084 --> 00:10:33,881
Don't you?
Take a look, boys!
182
00:10:33,919 --> 00:10:35,716
The envy of the entire camp--
183
00:10:35,754 --> 00:10:39,918
Up there is the bald eagle,
which is a single breed...
184
00:10:42,928 --> 00:10:45,226
- Hi.
- Hi.
185
00:10:45,264 --> 00:10:47,858
I'm Julie, the new nurse.
186
00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:50,232
Pat.
187
00:10:50,269 --> 00:10:52,134
Pat, I'm a little lost.
188
00:10:52,171 --> 00:10:55,038
Can you tell me
where the infirmary is?
189
00:10:59,678 --> 00:11:01,646
Well, let's see...
190
00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:05,411
Uh...No.
191
00:11:05,451 --> 00:11:09,979
Oh, well...I'll find it.
192
00:11:10,022 --> 00:11:11,421
Nice to meet you.
193
00:11:17,162 --> 00:11:19,653
Pat, you've been coming here
since you were ten...
194
00:11:19,698 --> 00:11:22,360
and you don't know
where the infirmary is?
195
00:11:22,401 --> 00:11:24,892
I panicked.
196
00:11:24,937 --> 00:11:27,030
What are we gonna do
with you, man?
197
00:11:27,072 --> 00:11:29,199
Help me with these bags,
all right?
198
00:11:29,241 --> 00:11:30,708
- Garner.
- Yeah?
199
00:11:30,743 --> 00:11:32,370
Let's get working
on this trunk.
200
00:11:32,411 --> 00:11:33,708
OK.
201
00:11:33,746 --> 00:11:36,214
- You got a girlfriend?
- Oh, no.
202
00:11:36,248 --> 00:11:39,046
So you broke up with her
before the summer...
203
00:11:39,084 --> 00:11:40,881
so you could be free
to play the field, huh?
204
00:11:40,919 --> 00:11:43,547
Yeah,
you gotta play the field.
205
00:11:43,589 --> 00:11:46,387
Yeah, I break up with
my girlfriend every summer.
206
00:11:46,425 --> 00:11:47,858
You gotta be free, you know?
207
00:11:47,893 --> 00:11:49,383
All right, put it down.
208
00:11:49,428 --> 00:11:50,986
This is it, Gerry.
209
00:11:51,030 --> 00:11:53,692
I've been the counselor
in here for 10 years.
210
00:11:53,732 --> 00:11:55,063
I hope you're ready.
211
00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:57,898
You'll be hanging with
some pretty cool cats.
212
00:12:00,439 --> 00:12:01,804
Josh, how you doing, man?
213
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,171
Roy.
214
00:12:03,208 --> 00:12:07,702
I just saw the new nurse,
and she's very attractive.
215
00:12:09,214 --> 00:12:10,545
This pleases me.
216
00:12:12,217 --> 00:12:14,082
Here it is!
217
00:12:14,119 --> 00:12:18,112
Ah, Chez Chipmunk--
my summer home.
218
00:12:18,157 --> 00:12:19,624
What do we got here?
219
00:12:19,658 --> 00:12:23,560
Gerry, this is Josh,
camp legend.
220
00:12:23,595 --> 00:12:25,620
Aye-aye, Captain, sir.
221
00:12:25,664 --> 00:12:27,427
All present and accounted for,
Captain, sir.
222
00:12:27,466 --> 00:12:29,957
What's the matter?
You're not a captain?
223
00:12:30,002 --> 00:12:31,526
No.
224
00:12:31,570 --> 00:12:33,504
Then maybe you
should lose the wings.
225
00:12:36,008 --> 00:12:37,475
Welcome to
the Chipmunk bunk, Captain--
226
00:12:37,509 --> 00:12:39,443
the best bunk
in the entire camp.
227
00:12:39,478 --> 00:12:40,877
Yep! Sure is.
228
00:12:40,913 --> 00:12:44,280
You guys aren't gonna call me
Captain all summer, are you?
229
00:12:44,316 --> 00:12:46,079
Yes, sir, Captain!
230
00:12:46,118 --> 00:12:48,018
Captain, looks like
you're all set here.
231
00:12:48,053 --> 00:12:49,486
I gotta take care of
some other stuff.
232
00:12:49,521 --> 00:12:51,352
You're the best, Pat.
233
00:12:51,390 --> 00:12:53,153
All right, take it easy.
234
00:12:53,192 --> 00:12:56,389
All right, Gerry, over here
is your brand-new bunk.
235
00:12:56,428 --> 00:12:57,895
Don't tell anybody...
236
00:12:57,930 --> 00:13:02,833
but I snuck in some Oreos
for emergencies.
237
00:13:02,868 --> 00:13:05,336
That was very sneaky of you.
238
00:13:05,370 --> 00:13:09,136
Chipmunks!
Download, now!
239
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:24,318
New kid! Yo!
240
00:13:24,356 --> 00:13:25,653
Come on over here!
241
00:13:25,691 --> 00:13:28,854
Get these salamis off my back.
They really hurt.
242
00:13:33,732 --> 00:13:35,859
Phillip, look at this.
243
00:13:35,901 --> 00:13:37,528
That's pretty nice, Nicholas...
244
00:13:37,569 --> 00:13:40,561
but look at this.
245
00:13:41,940 --> 00:13:43,271
Yes!
246
00:13:51,683 --> 00:13:54,049
Crikey!
247
00:13:54,086 --> 00:13:56,850
I knew it was too hot
in that bus.
248
00:14:00,125 --> 00:14:02,821
This is definitely not sanitary.
249
00:14:02,861 --> 00:14:05,921
Everyone!
Grab a taste of England, guys!
250
00:15:00,585 --> 00:15:02,314
You'll love the Bushkins.
251
00:15:02,353 --> 00:15:03,820
Every year
they surprise us...
252
00:15:03,855 --> 00:15:05,322
with something cool
for the camp.
253
00:15:05,356 --> 00:15:06,823
Last year
they got us the Blob...
254
00:15:06,858 --> 00:15:09,554
and this year I hear
they're getting us jet skis.
255
00:15:09,594 --> 00:15:12,358
- Jet skis!
- Here they come.
256
00:15:16,033 --> 00:15:19,332
- You'll love these people.
- Really?
257
00:15:23,374 --> 00:15:25,342
Greetings, campers.
258
00:15:25,376 --> 00:15:29,540
Hi! Hi! Hiya!
259
00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:31,844
You'll get it.
260
00:15:31,883 --> 00:15:35,341
That's the greatest sound
I've heard in a long time.
261
00:15:35,386 --> 00:15:40,517
Harvey and I are saddened
and dismayed to announce...
262
00:15:40,558 --> 00:15:44,358
that we are no longer
the owners of Camp Hope.
263
00:15:44,395 --> 00:15:46,420
- What?
- What's going on?
264
00:15:46,464 --> 00:15:47,863
What are you talking about?
265
00:15:47,899 --> 00:15:50,265
Sometimes in life...
266
00:15:50,301 --> 00:15:53,828
things don't work out
the way you planned...
267
00:15:53,871 --> 00:15:57,363
and in those situations,
sometimes...
268
00:15:57,408 --> 00:16:01,504
you file Chapter 9
bankruptcy--Jesus!
269
00:16:01,546 --> 00:16:05,915
We worked our whole life,
and what do we have to show?
270
00:16:05,950 --> 00:16:08,817
Nothing! Nothing!
271
00:16:08,853 --> 00:16:10,548
Harvey, please stop.
272
00:16:10,588 --> 00:16:12,385
What?
273
00:16:12,423 --> 00:16:17,793
OK, kids, out with the old,
and in with the new.
274
00:16:17,828 --> 00:16:21,059
It won't be the same
without them.
275
00:16:21,098 --> 00:16:24,898
Your new owner will introduce
himself in a minute.
276
00:16:24,936 --> 00:16:27,268
But you know what I would like?
277
00:16:27,305 --> 00:16:31,071
Please, could you give us
just one more...
278
00:16:31,108 --> 00:16:36,205
Camp Hope "Hi, hi, hiya"?
279
00:16:36,247 --> 00:16:38,977
Hiya.
280
00:16:39,016 --> 00:16:42,042
God bless all of you.
281
00:16:47,558 --> 00:16:49,423
We love you, Harvey!
282
00:16:49,460 --> 00:16:51,860
He's kidding, guys.
He's gotta be.
283
00:16:51,896 --> 00:16:53,955
One word of advice.
284
00:16:53,998 --> 00:16:57,490
Never let anyone
sign your checks!
285
00:16:57,535 --> 00:16:58,934
Harvey, please.
286
00:16:58,970 --> 00:17:01,939
You can't leave.
We need you.
287
00:17:01,973 --> 00:17:04,567
Come back.
288
00:17:04,609 --> 00:17:06,975
- What are we gonna do?
- I don't know, man.
289
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,996
Now, it's time to meet
your new owner and operator.
290
00:17:26,030 --> 00:17:28,726
Tony Perkis is a man
who believes in you.
291
00:17:28,766 --> 00:17:31,234
His life is dedicated
to saying things like...
292
00:17:31,269 --> 00:17:33,396
"Yes!" and
"You better believe it!"
293
00:17:33,437 --> 00:17:36,804
Entrepreneur, a motivator,
and a new friend...
294
00:17:36,841 --> 00:17:41,039
may I introduce
Tony Perkis!
295
00:17:44,882 --> 00:17:48,340
Mm. Can you smell it?
296
00:17:48,386 --> 00:17:49,648
What? No.
297
00:17:49,687 --> 00:17:52,815
There's a life force
in here tonight.
298
00:17:52,857 --> 00:17:55,121
Do you feel it? Hmm?
299
00:17:55,159 --> 00:17:58,219
I look around this room...
300
00:17:58,262 --> 00:18:01,698
and I see potential.
301
00:18:03,801 --> 00:18:07,737
I see the future chairman
of a Fortune 500 company.
302
00:18:07,772 --> 00:18:09,433
I see a famous rap artist.
303
00:18:13,344 --> 00:18:17,110
I see the president of
the United States of America.
304
00:18:17,148 --> 00:18:19,082
He's from England.
305
00:18:19,116 --> 00:18:21,084
Being an only child...
306
00:18:21,118 --> 00:18:24,087
educated entirely by
private tutors my whole life...
307
00:18:24,121 --> 00:18:25,884
I'm looking forward
to interacting...
308
00:18:25,923 --> 00:18:27,686
with children
for the first time.
309
00:18:27,725 --> 00:18:29,556
I'm going to teach you...
310
00:18:29,593 --> 00:18:32,426
and I bet you might teach me
a little something, also.
311
00:18:33,864 --> 00:18:36,162
Now, those of you from
western Pennsylvania...
312
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,691
probably know my father,
Tony Perkis Senior...
313
00:18:38,736 --> 00:18:40,499
the Lighting Fixture King.
314
00:18:40,538 --> 00:18:42,472
All the lights you'll see
around this camp...
315
00:18:42,506 --> 00:18:44,440
have been donated by him.
316
00:18:49,380 --> 00:18:52,349
But I'm gonna do
old Dad one better.
317
00:18:52,383 --> 00:18:54,908
I'm not gonna give you a light.
318
00:18:54,952 --> 00:18:57,921
I'm gonna show you the light!
319
00:18:57,955 --> 00:18:59,889
And to help me do it...
320
00:18:59,924 --> 00:19:02,154
let's meet the new staff
of Camp Hope.
321
00:19:02,193 --> 00:19:04,423
Team Perkis!
322
00:19:04,462 --> 00:19:07,795
Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!
323
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:12,626
Ha! Ha! Ha!
324
00:19:12,670 --> 00:19:14,865
All right!
Stand proud, boys!
325
00:19:14,905 --> 00:19:17,965
Hey, who wants to be
on TV, huh?
326
00:19:18,008 --> 00:19:19,737
That's Kenny the cameraman.
327
00:19:19,777 --> 00:19:21,301
Hey, there, Kenny!
328
00:19:21,345 --> 00:19:23,245
If all goes
according to plan...
329
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,475
we're gonna turn this summer
into the number-one...
330
00:19:25,516 --> 00:19:27,814
weight-loss infomercial
in the country!
331
00:19:27,852 --> 00:19:29,149
You're kidding.
332
00:19:29,186 --> 00:19:31,381
Kids, at age 12...
333
00:19:31,422 --> 00:19:34,823
I weighed 319 pounds.
334
00:19:34,859 --> 00:19:38,590
I had bad skin,
low self-esteem...
335
00:19:38,629 --> 00:19:40,893
and no self-respect.
336
00:19:40,931 --> 00:19:46,062
Now...I eat success
for breakfast!
337
00:19:46,103 --> 00:19:49,163
- With skim milk.
- Ugh.
338
00:19:49,206 --> 00:19:50,673
Pounds are gonna fly...
339
00:19:50,708 --> 00:19:54,838
and fat is
outta here, mister!
340
00:19:54,879 --> 00:19:57,746
And we are gonna do it together!
341
00:19:57,782 --> 00:19:59,716
Oh, my God.
342
00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:02,810
Ha! Haaa...
343
00:20:02,853 --> 00:20:04,445
Aah!
344
00:20:06,424 --> 00:20:08,415
I want to go home!
345
00:20:12,897 --> 00:20:15,661
The Bushkins always put me
in the Chipmunk bunk.
346
00:20:15,699 --> 00:20:17,132
I've been here for 10 years.
347
00:20:17,168 --> 00:20:18,635
According
to my information...
348
00:20:18,669 --> 00:20:20,466
you have been reassigned
to the big house.
349
00:20:20,504 --> 00:20:22,734
I don't think Tony would mind
if we switched back.
350
00:20:22,773 --> 00:20:26,470
That would make me
feel very uncomfortable.
351
00:20:26,510 --> 00:20:28,774
I'm gonna talk to Tony.
352
00:20:28,812 --> 00:20:32,908
Please do.
Let me get your bag.
353
00:20:36,787 --> 00:20:38,118
Unh!
354
00:20:43,427 --> 00:20:45,156
Good-bye now.
355
00:20:45,196 --> 00:20:47,664
Enjoy your summer.
356
00:20:49,700 --> 00:20:52,396
Hello!
357
00:20:52,436 --> 00:20:55,098
I am your new friend
and counselor!
358
00:20:55,139 --> 00:20:59,098
Please enjoy your new
Perkis system uniforms.
359
00:20:59,143 --> 00:21:01,668
Your families will be
billed automatically.
360
00:21:01,712 --> 00:21:03,839
Now, let's play the fun game...
361
00:21:03,881 --> 00:21:05,974
that helps us learn
each other's names.
362
00:21:06,016 --> 00:21:07,813
We already know
each other's names.
363
00:21:07,851 --> 00:21:09,614
Silence!
364
00:21:11,989 --> 00:21:15,823
You--please announce
everyone's name.
365
00:21:15,859 --> 00:21:20,159
OK. That's Roy.
That's Josh.
366
00:21:20,197 --> 00:21:23,166
Sam. That's Cody.
That's Nicholas.
367
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:24,792
That's Michael. That's Phil.
368
00:21:24,835 --> 00:21:27,463
And I am Lars.
369
00:21:27,504 --> 00:21:30,940
"Lars"?
What kind of name is that?
370
00:21:30,975 --> 00:21:32,602
Where are you from?
371
00:21:36,914 --> 00:21:38,381
Far away.
372
00:21:39,617 --> 00:21:45,283
I must inform you I have
a severely deviated septum.
373
00:21:45,322 --> 00:21:46,755
When I sleep at night...
374
00:21:46,790 --> 00:21:48,883
I make
a very disturbing sound.
375
00:21:48,926 --> 00:21:51,224
Don't be alarmed.
I am fine.
376
00:21:51,262 --> 00:21:54,197
Now, go to sleep.
377
00:22:14,985 --> 00:22:18,853
Oh, no. I'm dead.
378
00:22:18,889 --> 00:22:20,618
I'm in Heaven.
379
00:22:20,658 --> 00:22:22,853
Roy? Roy.
380
00:22:22,893 --> 00:22:24,690
What's going on?
381
00:22:24,728 --> 00:22:26,525
Wake up, campers.
382
00:22:26,563 --> 00:22:28,428
It's a glorious morning.
383
00:22:28,465 --> 00:22:30,524
Today is Evaluation Day.
384
00:22:30,567 --> 00:22:32,865
The key word here
is "value."
385
00:22:32,903 --> 00:22:34,871
Do you have any? Not yet.
386
00:22:34,905 --> 00:22:36,372
But by the end of the summer...
387
00:22:36,407 --> 00:22:38,967
this camp will be
filled with skinny winners!
388
00:22:39,009 --> 00:22:41,944
"Skinny weiners"?
You hear that, guys?
389
00:22:41,979 --> 00:22:43,378
Do you think I'm crazy?
390
00:22:43,414 --> 00:22:45,882
I'm not crazy.
I just believe in you.
391
00:22:45,916 --> 00:22:49,374
And I believe in you.
Call and order now.
392
00:22:49,420 --> 00:22:53,151
All right,
let's go get our hands dirty.
393
00:22:53,190 --> 00:22:54,657
# Ahh, freak out! #
394
00:22:54,692 --> 00:22:59,894
Glide! Stride!
395
00:22:59,930 --> 00:23:02,160
Get your butt off the ground!
396
00:23:02,199 --> 00:23:05,532
Concentrate!
Find your center.
397
00:23:05,569 --> 00:23:06,763
# Freak out! #
398
00:23:09,340 --> 00:23:12,832
Stride! Glide!
399
00:23:12,876 --> 00:23:17,677
# Listen to us,
I'm sure you'll be amazed #
400
00:23:17,715 --> 00:23:19,706
Stride!
401
00:23:19,750 --> 00:23:22,310
I'm feeling skinny, Tony.
402
00:23:22,353 --> 00:23:24,321
So am I!
403
00:23:24,355 --> 00:23:26,653
Aah!
404
00:23:26,690 --> 00:23:28,521
We keep this up,
I see no reason...
405
00:23:28,559 --> 00:23:31,084
why we can't beat Camp MVP
in the Apache Relay.
406
00:23:31,128 --> 00:23:33,358
What's an Apache Relay?
407
00:23:33,397 --> 00:23:36,992
It's a dumb inter-camp event
where those jocks at MVP...
408
00:23:37,034 --> 00:23:40,026
come over here and kick
our butts every year.
409
00:23:40,070 --> 00:23:42,595
# Ahh, freak out! #
410
00:23:42,639 --> 00:23:45,870
Only film the ones
that are standing, Kenneth.
411
00:23:45,909 --> 00:23:47,638
Glide!
412
00:23:50,981 --> 00:23:53,882
141 pounds, Gerry Garner.
413
00:23:53,917 --> 00:23:56,044
Weight-loss goal, 17 pounds.
414
00:23:56,086 --> 00:23:58,850
Please step down. Next!
415
00:24:00,824 --> 00:24:05,056
Very fat, I see. 160 pounds.
416
00:24:05,095 --> 00:24:07,154
Weight-loss goal, 23 pounds.
417
00:24:08,799 --> 00:24:11,962
Ooh. Oh, my!
418
00:24:12,002 --> 00:24:14,300
Congratulations, Mr. Simms.
419
00:24:14,338 --> 00:24:16,499
You are the fattest boy in camp.
420
00:24:16,540 --> 00:24:19,338
All right,
let's hear it for Simms.
421
00:24:23,113 --> 00:24:24,341
Get down!
422
00:24:24,381 --> 00:24:25,848
# Ahh, freak out! #
423
00:24:25,883 --> 00:24:28,647
# All that pressure
got you down #
424
00:24:28,685 --> 00:24:30,277
Five and a quarter.
425
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:33,346
# Has your head
spinning all around #
426
00:24:33,390 --> 00:24:35,051
# Feel the rhythm #
427
00:24:35,092 --> 00:24:37,617
# Chant the rhyme,
come on along #
428
00:24:37,661 --> 00:24:38,855
Big smile.
429
00:24:38,896 --> 00:24:40,454
# And have a real good time #
430
00:24:40,497 --> 00:24:42,863
Turn around to your side.
431
00:24:42,900 --> 00:24:44,891
Please put your fat finger down!
432
00:24:44,935 --> 00:24:46,129
# Freak out! #
433
00:24:47,704 --> 00:24:49,365
# Ahh, freak out! #
434
00:24:49,406 --> 00:24:51,670
You've broken my camera!
435
00:24:51,708 --> 00:24:53,676
No, no, no,
you listen to me.
436
00:24:53,710 --> 00:24:56,008
If I don't get a 50,000 unit
pre-sale on this video...
437
00:24:56,046 --> 00:24:57,877
my ass is wheat grass!
438
00:24:57,915 --> 00:24:59,780
Just hang on a second.
439
00:24:59,817 --> 00:25:02,285
Attention campers,
tonight's lecture is...
440
00:25:02,319 --> 00:25:05,914
"Liposuction:
Option or Obsession."
441
00:25:05,956 --> 00:25:09,221
Watch out for Salami Sam!
442
00:25:09,259 --> 00:25:12,592
Whoa!
443
00:25:12,629 --> 00:25:15,120
Hey, don't pee in the water!
444
00:25:15,165 --> 00:25:18,157
Don't drink the water.
He peed in it!
445
00:25:23,574 --> 00:25:26,873
- Nurse Julie!
- Whoa!
446
00:25:26,910 --> 00:25:29,572
Excuse me, Nurse Julie.
447
00:25:29,613 --> 00:25:32,343
I'm having a problem
with my sciatic nerve.
448
00:25:32,382 --> 00:25:35,977
Perhaps later you could give me
a deep-tissue massage.
449
00:25:36,019 --> 00:25:38,146
I'll pencil you in.
450
00:25:38,188 --> 00:25:40,486
Lars, shouldn't you be
watching the kids?
451
00:25:40,524 --> 00:25:43,152
Don't worry, I have them
on the body system.
452
00:25:43,193 --> 00:25:44,490
"Body system"?
453
00:25:44,528 --> 00:25:46,359
Yeah, have a look.
454
00:25:48,599 --> 00:25:52,969
Body!
455
00:25:53,003 --> 00:25:59,538
- Body!
- Body!
456
00:25:59,643 --> 00:26:02,806
"Buddy." Heh heh.
457
00:26:02,846 --> 00:26:06,680
You're obviously
a very powerful man, Lars.
458
00:26:06,717 --> 00:26:08,207
Would you excuse me?
459
00:26:11,288 --> 00:26:14,189
Yes, but with much difficulty!
460
00:26:17,361 --> 00:26:21,493
Buddy!
461
00:26:21,532 --> 00:26:24,330
All right, Gerry, it's your bat.
462
00:26:24,368 --> 00:26:26,302
Nicholas, you know what to do.
463
00:26:26,336 --> 00:26:27,997
Is this kind of like cricket?
464
00:26:28,038 --> 00:26:29,505
It's not kind of like cricket.
465
00:26:29,540 --> 00:26:32,338
It is cricket.
Just with a different name.
466
00:26:32,376 --> 00:26:34,674
MVPers are almost here.
Are the boys ready?
467
00:26:34,711 --> 00:26:37,509
Yeah. Tony, I really need
to talk to you about this.
468
00:26:37,548 --> 00:26:39,345
Our kids will get
their butts handed to them.
469
00:26:39,383 --> 00:26:40,873
Why don't we hold off on this?
470
00:26:40,918 --> 00:26:44,012
Thank you for telling me
how to run my camp.
471
00:26:44,054 --> 00:26:45,521
That I bought.
472
00:26:45,556 --> 00:26:49,287
This won't help those kids
get any better at sports!
473
00:26:49,326 --> 00:26:51,021
We're not teaching them
about sports!
474
00:26:51,061 --> 00:26:52,995
We're teaching them about life!
475
00:26:53,030 --> 00:26:54,793
Life.
476
00:26:59,136 --> 00:27:00,501
Look!
477
00:27:00,537 --> 00:27:03,472
Come on, let's go!
Let's do it!
478
00:27:03,507 --> 00:27:07,204
Go, go, go!
479
00:27:07,244 --> 00:27:09,007
I'm not so good at sports.
480
00:27:09,046 --> 00:27:11,105
Oh, yeah,
and I'm Deion Sanders.
481
00:27:11,148 --> 00:27:13,343
We're dead, guys.
482
00:27:14,851 --> 00:27:16,944
All right, I want to see
some hustle out there!
483
00:27:16,987 --> 00:27:19,319
- Hey, Chris.
- Pat, how you doing?
484
00:27:19,356 --> 00:27:21,153
See you got a promotion.
485
00:27:21,191 --> 00:27:24,319
Yeah. Listen, Chris,
over the years...
486
00:27:24,361 --> 00:27:25,828
you guys have whooped us
pretty good.
487
00:27:25,862 --> 00:27:27,887
How about taking it easy
on my guys this year?
488
00:27:27,931 --> 00:27:30,991
- You know what I mean.
- No, I don't.
489
00:27:31,034 --> 00:27:32,661
MVP campers
are trained to compete...
490
00:27:32,703 --> 00:27:34,330
at the highest level
at all times.
491
00:27:34,371 --> 00:27:36,635
We wouldn't
want to confuse them.
492
00:27:36,673 --> 00:27:38,368
Looking good, Pat.
493
00:27:38,408 --> 00:27:40,205
All right,
let's work it around!
494
00:27:40,243 --> 00:27:41,505
Come on, men!
495
00:27:41,545 --> 00:27:43,274
Let's hit the field
and let the fates decide.
496
00:27:43,313 --> 00:27:44,746
There we go--
good plan, all right!
497
00:27:44,781 --> 00:27:46,510
There you go!
Eye of the tiger!
498
00:27:46,550 --> 00:27:48,017
Did you eat your
Wheaties today, Phillip?
499
00:27:48,051 --> 00:27:49,678
I hope to God
you ate your Wheaties.
500
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,017
Simms, way to hustle.
501
00:27:51,054 --> 00:27:52,544
Like a rocket--
there you go.
502
00:27:53,890 --> 00:27:56,051
Pat Finley, please report...
503
00:27:56,093 --> 00:27:58,857
to the men's toilet
immediately.
504
00:27:58,895 --> 00:28:02,854
Bring a mop
and a plunger...now!
505
00:28:05,969 --> 00:28:08,665
All right,
who's up first? Let's go!
506
00:28:09,906 --> 00:28:11,874
Ohh, my arm!
507
00:28:12,876 --> 00:28:14,173
Oh, my knee!
508
00:28:14,211 --> 00:28:16,179
Ohh, my--
509
00:28:19,282 --> 00:28:24,015
# Even the best gets beat
sometimes, baby #
510
00:28:24,054 --> 00:28:25,646
Come on, lardo!
511
00:28:25,689 --> 00:28:29,216
Tim, take me out, please!
512
00:28:29,259 --> 00:28:32,057
# You got to hang tough #
513
00:28:32,095 --> 00:28:34,393
- Ohh!
- Out!
514
00:28:34,431 --> 00:28:35,921
# You got to hang tough #
515
00:28:35,966 --> 00:28:38,526
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
516
00:28:38,568 --> 00:28:40,559
Beautiful!
517
00:28:40,604 --> 00:28:42,595
Can I go to the nurse?
518
00:28:42,639 --> 00:28:44,869
Yeah, OK, Phillip.
519
00:28:44,908 --> 00:28:48,571
Just wait till
someone comes back, OK?
520
00:28:50,781 --> 00:28:52,248
Ow, my arm.
521
00:28:53,483 --> 00:28:57,214
Cody, what on earth
is going on out there?
522
00:28:57,254 --> 00:28:59,552
We're Perkisizing.
523
00:29:03,593 --> 00:29:04,924
Strike!
524
00:29:04,961 --> 00:29:07,054
Hey, batter, batter, batter.
525
00:29:08,632 --> 00:29:10,964
# Even the experts miss
sometimes #
526
00:29:11,001 --> 00:29:12,559
Strike!
527
00:29:12,602 --> 00:29:14,001
Strike three!
528
00:29:15,572 --> 00:29:16,800
Strike!
529
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,502
Nice swing,
you fat towboat. Ha!
530
00:29:19,543 --> 00:29:21,534
Is that all you've got?
531
00:29:21,578 --> 00:29:22,738
Uhh!
532
00:29:24,114 --> 00:29:25,513
That's foul!
533
00:29:27,718 --> 00:29:30,118
Doh!
534
00:29:31,822 --> 00:29:34,814
All right, next batter.
Let's go, son.
535
00:29:37,127 --> 00:29:38,617
- Uhh!
- Look out!
536
00:29:38,662 --> 00:29:41,130
- Ow!
- Sorry!
537
00:29:41,164 --> 00:29:42,358
You can do it.
538
00:29:42,399 --> 00:29:43,923
Keep your eyes on the bat...
539
00:29:43,967 --> 00:29:45,730
put it in the pocket...
540
00:29:45,769 --> 00:29:46,929
swing harder...
541
00:29:46,970 --> 00:29:48,904
I have no idea
what I'm saying.
542
00:29:49,906 --> 00:29:51,100
Ohh!
543
00:29:51,141 --> 00:29:52,802
You OK?
544
00:29:54,544 --> 00:29:56,978
There goes your perfect game.
Come on!
545
00:29:57,013 --> 00:29:58,947
Calm down.
546
00:29:58,982 --> 00:30:00,779
Let's go!
Take your base, you big baby!
547
00:30:00,817 --> 00:30:01,977
You're holding up the game!
548
00:30:02,018 --> 00:30:05,010
# You got to hang tough #
549
00:30:05,055 --> 00:30:07,546
He ain't hurt.
Suck it up, Gerry!
550
00:30:07,591 --> 00:30:10,151
Aww, look,
the poor baby's gonna cry.
551
00:30:10,193 --> 00:30:12,161
Don't blubber, chubber!
Ha ha.
552
00:30:12,195 --> 00:30:13,389
Uhh!
553
00:30:17,768 --> 00:30:19,702
Don't mess with us.
554
00:30:19,736 --> 00:30:22,269
No, man, that's my bed!
555
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:26,702
I don't enjoy
this part of the job.
556
00:30:26,742 --> 00:30:32,305
But it's vital to the success
of the Perkis system...
557
00:30:33,749 --> 00:30:35,410
that we remove all temptation...
558
00:30:37,219 --> 00:30:38,413
Ohh!
559
00:30:38,454 --> 00:30:41,981
...from your lives. Here.
560
00:30:42,024 --> 00:30:43,821
Dispose of that, Lars.
561
00:30:45,695 --> 00:30:46,992
What?
562
00:30:47,029 --> 00:30:48,894
I'm still your friend.
563
00:30:48,931 --> 00:30:50,523
Come on, give me a hug.
564
00:30:50,566 --> 00:30:53,499
Hmm?
565
00:30:54,570 --> 00:30:55,832
Hmm.
566
00:30:55,871 --> 00:30:57,566
Come on.
567
00:31:03,012 --> 00:31:05,674
Tony believes in you.
568
00:31:10,353 --> 00:31:12,218
Looks like my man's packing.
569
00:31:20,930 --> 00:31:22,158
Drop back, son.
570
00:31:23,766 --> 00:31:26,894
Oh, Tony.
571
00:31:26,936 --> 00:31:29,336
Sir!
I was a Chipmunk last year.
572
00:31:29,372 --> 00:31:31,932
Look.
573
00:31:31,974 --> 00:31:33,134
Dawson,
what are you doing, man?
574
00:31:34,777 --> 00:31:37,439
Well, well, well,
what have we here?
575
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:39,914
Who would like to own up
to this treasure trove?
576
00:31:39,949 --> 00:31:42,474
Whose wonderful candies
are these?
577
00:31:42,518 --> 00:31:45,043
Oh, look. A deli meat.
578
00:31:47,356 --> 00:31:48,948
You...come here.
579
00:31:48,991 --> 00:31:51,824
Yes, you. Come here.
580
00:31:51,861 --> 00:31:53,590
Don't be frightened.
Just come here.
581
00:31:53,629 --> 00:31:55,756
- I.D. cards.
- Yes, Tony.
582
00:31:55,798 --> 00:31:57,459
Let's see.
583
00:32:00,970 --> 00:32:06,533
"Garner, Gerald.
141 pounds. Age 11."
584
00:32:06,575 --> 00:32:09,976
You didn't have anything
to do with this, did you?
585
00:32:10,012 --> 00:32:12,572
Well...
586
00:32:12,615 --> 00:32:15,743
But I bet you might be able
to tell me who did?
587
00:32:17,887 --> 00:32:20,287
Anyone who brings candy
into this camp...
588
00:32:20,322 --> 00:32:21,914
is not your friend.
589
00:32:21,957 --> 00:32:25,051
He is a destroyer.
590
00:32:25,094 --> 00:32:28,996
Do you understand that,
Gerald Garner?
591
00:32:29,031 --> 00:32:31,363
Do you?
592
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:35,336
I'm sure your father...
593
00:32:35,371 --> 00:32:37,862
Maury Garner,
wouldn't want to hear...
594
00:32:37,907 --> 00:32:41,399
that his son is a destroyer,
would he?
595
00:32:41,444 --> 00:32:42,672
I don't think so.
596
00:32:42,712 --> 00:32:45,203
Enough. All right.
597
00:32:45,247 --> 00:32:47,374
I'll tell you
whose candy it is.
598
00:32:47,416 --> 00:32:49,941
- Don't do it, Josh!
- Shh! Let the man speak.
599
00:32:49,985 --> 00:32:52,476
The candy belongs
to Seymour Butts.
600
00:32:52,521 --> 00:32:57,515
Seymour Butts?
Who's Seymour Butts?
601
00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:59,221
Who's Seymour Butts?!
602
00:32:59,261 --> 00:33:01,957
Nobody's seen more butts
than you, Uncle Tony!
603
00:33:07,837 --> 00:33:10,397
You picked the wrong man
to mess with.
604
00:33:10,439 --> 00:33:13,135
Ooh.
605
00:33:13,175 --> 00:33:15,268
I didn't know
I was messing with a man!
606
00:33:18,047 --> 00:33:21,642
Ha ha ha ha ha!
We have a comedian!
607
00:33:24,587 --> 00:33:26,487
Hey, I like comedians.
608
00:33:26,522 --> 00:33:29,423
Perhaps I can book you
on a tour.
609
00:33:29,458 --> 00:33:31,221
You the man, Josh!
610
00:33:42,104 --> 00:33:43,901
Good morning, campers.
611
00:33:43,939 --> 00:33:46,305
Joshua Birnbaum
is no longer with us.
612
00:33:46,342 --> 00:33:47,707
His bed is now available.
613
00:33:47,743 --> 00:33:50,211
Josh is all right,
isn't he?
614
00:33:50,246 --> 00:33:53,807
Man, I hope so...
wherever he is.
615
00:33:57,119 --> 00:33:58,950
Sam, did you hear about Josh?
616
00:33:58,988 --> 00:34:02,446
Sorry to hear about
your little friend Josh.
617
00:34:02,491 --> 00:34:04,891
Hey, Gerry. I found out
the truth about Josh.
618
00:34:04,927 --> 00:34:06,588
I heard that
they kicked him out...
619
00:34:06,629 --> 00:34:09,223
and his parents were so mad,
they wouldn't let him come home.
620
00:34:09,265 --> 00:34:12,393
They left him at a bus stop
all alone at midnight.
621
00:34:12,434 --> 00:34:15,494
Well, he's dead.
622
00:34:15,538 --> 00:34:16,732
He pulled a knife on Tony...
623
00:34:16,772 --> 00:34:19,570
and he's locked up in
a juvenile delinquent center.
624
00:34:19,608 --> 00:34:21,269
Now he's living
in the park in New York...
625
00:34:21,310 --> 00:34:23,335
with a guy who has no legs.
626
00:34:23,379 --> 00:34:24,539
No way.
627
00:34:24,580 --> 00:34:26,810
I'm just telling you
what I heard.
628
00:34:28,050 --> 00:34:29,950
Dear Grandma...
629
00:34:29,985 --> 00:34:33,921
someone once said
"War is hell."
630
00:34:33,956 --> 00:34:36,424
They've never been
to fat camp.
631
00:34:38,027 --> 00:34:40,154
I knew
the food would be bad...
632
00:34:40,196 --> 00:34:41,788
but even worse...
633
00:34:43,566 --> 00:34:46,262
today he killed the Blob.
634
00:34:46,302 --> 00:34:49,567
As for the go-karts...
635
00:34:49,605 --> 00:34:52,267
may they rest in pieces.
636
00:34:52,308 --> 00:34:53,673
I'm writing you...
637
00:34:53,709 --> 00:34:55,700
because nobody else
seemed to care.
638
00:34:55,744 --> 00:34:58,645
I did not send you
to go-kart camp.
639
00:35:00,816 --> 00:35:02,044
Attention, campers...
640
00:35:02,084 --> 00:35:05,850
lunch has been canceled today
due to lack of hustle.
641
00:35:05,888 --> 00:35:07,219
Deal with it.
642
00:35:07,256 --> 00:35:09,451
Tony Perkis
tries to lead by example.
643
00:35:09,491 --> 00:35:12,460
This is the eighteenth level
of the Perkis system.
644
00:35:12,494 --> 00:35:14,792
You'll all be doing this
by Labor Day!
645
00:35:14,830 --> 00:35:17,162
All right, do it to it, Lars!
646
00:35:17,199 --> 00:35:18,962
It's my honor, Tony!
647
00:35:20,336 --> 00:35:22,998
- Ohh!
- Crazy!
648
00:35:23,038 --> 00:35:25,734
But we're afraid to follow.
649
00:35:27,910 --> 00:35:31,971
I know each and every one of you
because I was you.
650
00:35:32,014 --> 00:35:35,882
Once a day, the kids
from Camp MVP drive by...
651
00:35:35,918 --> 00:35:37,249
and make fun of us.
652
00:35:37,286 --> 00:35:41,222
You stink! You stink!
You stink!
653
00:35:42,892 --> 00:35:44,792
Good one!
654
00:35:44,827 --> 00:35:49,127
At night,
they vandalize our camp.
655
00:35:56,939 --> 00:35:59,567
At least Josh got out...
656
00:35:59,608 --> 00:36:02,304
where there's food.
657
00:36:02,344 --> 00:36:05,575
We have to resort
to more desperate measures.
658
00:36:05,614 --> 00:36:07,707
Let's get 'em!
659
00:36:11,053 --> 00:36:12,247
I want meat!
660
00:36:12,288 --> 00:36:14,984
I'll save something for you!
661
00:36:15,024 --> 00:36:17,254
Tony's arranged a dance
with the girls' camp...
662
00:36:17,293 --> 00:36:21,320
so he can humiliate us
into losing weight.
663
00:36:21,363 --> 00:36:23,092
Pray for me, Grandma.
664
00:36:23,132 --> 00:36:24,622
Love, Gerry.
665
00:36:28,037 --> 00:36:31,302
# S-a-t-u-r-d-a-y
night #
666
00:36:31,340 --> 00:36:41,911
# S-a-t-u-r-d-a-y,
night #
667
00:36:41,951 --> 00:36:45,944
# Gonna keep on dancin'
to the rock 'n' roll #
668
00:36:45,988 --> 00:36:47,512
# On Saturday night #
669
00:36:47,556 --> 00:36:49,717
# Saturday night #
670
00:36:49,758 --> 00:36:52,454
# Dancin' to the rhythm
in our heart and soul #
671
00:36:52,494 --> 00:36:55,122
# On Saturday night... #
672
00:36:55,164 --> 00:36:57,394
Let's just get out of here.
673
00:36:57,433 --> 00:37:00,300
We can't, man.
They're guarding the door.
674
00:37:00,336 --> 00:37:02,930
# I--I--I--I got a date #
675
00:37:02,972 --> 00:37:04,462
Rock 'n' roll.
676
00:37:04,506 --> 00:37:06,736
# At the good old
rock 'n' roll road show #
677
00:37:06,775 --> 00:37:10,973
Sugar-free punch.
This bites.
678
00:37:11,013 --> 00:37:14,505
How much more
are they gonna subject us to?
679
00:37:14,550 --> 00:37:16,415
Why don't those guys
just lose weight?
680
00:37:16,452 --> 00:37:19,012
Why don't you show them
how to throw up after meals?
681
00:37:19,054 --> 00:37:20,851
- Shut up.
- You shut up.
682
00:37:20,889 --> 00:37:22,117
You guys, stop it.
683
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:27,121
Team Jerkis strikes again, huh?
684
00:37:28,597 --> 00:37:31,293
Do you think he could've
possibly planned...
685
00:37:31,333 --> 00:37:33,324
for it to be this bad?
686
00:37:33,369 --> 00:37:34,996
Yes.
687
00:37:35,037 --> 00:37:37,505
I have some friends
in Child Welfare.
688
00:37:37,539 --> 00:37:41,134
Tony must be doing something
illegal around here.
689
00:37:41,176 --> 00:37:43,474
Maybe I should give them a call.
690
00:37:43,512 --> 00:37:47,039
- Great.
- This really bites!
691
00:37:47,082 --> 00:37:51,678
Would you like to have
some of this...punch?
692
00:37:51,720 --> 00:37:53,449
Yeah, thanks.
693
00:37:54,823 --> 00:37:57,189
# I believe in miracles #
694
00:37:57,226 --> 00:37:59,524
Did you catch Lars's outfit?
695
00:37:59,561 --> 00:38:00,994
# Since you came along #
696
00:38:01,030 --> 00:38:02,930
# You sexy thing #
697
00:38:08,237 --> 00:38:10,102
Yo, check this out.
698
00:38:12,674 --> 00:38:14,369
Jeez, she's coming over!
699
00:38:14,410 --> 00:38:16,139
I think she's looking at me.
700
00:38:23,385 --> 00:38:26,047
Do you know
where the bathroom is?
701
00:38:34,296 --> 00:38:36,696
Ouch.
702
00:38:36,732 --> 00:38:38,927
That was brutal.
703
00:38:38,967 --> 00:38:41,026
They're young, you know?
704
00:38:41,070 --> 00:38:43,038
Still afraid of girls.
705
00:38:43,072 --> 00:38:44,596
Poor guys.
706
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:47,632
So, do you want to dance?
707
00:38:47,676 --> 00:38:49,667
Um, uh...
708
00:38:49,711 --> 00:38:53,044
No, I have
a bad...sprained...
709
00:38:53,082 --> 00:38:55,175
Excuse me. Tim?
710
00:38:55,217 --> 00:38:56,445
# You sexy thing #
711
00:38:56,485 --> 00:38:58,680
OK.
712
00:39:01,723 --> 00:39:03,657
This is really boring.
713
00:39:03,692 --> 00:39:07,389
This has got to end.
714
00:39:10,866 --> 00:39:13,426
# Oh-oh-oh, yeah #
715
00:39:13,469 --> 00:39:15,937
Excuse me, guys.
716
00:39:15,971 --> 00:39:18,201
# I'm just a love machine #
717
00:39:18,240 --> 00:39:21,300
# And I won't work
for nobody but you #
718
00:39:21,343 --> 00:39:22,503
# Yeah, baby #
719
00:39:22,544 --> 00:39:25,069
# I'm just a love machine #
720
00:39:27,049 --> 00:39:28,846
Tim's blown a microchip!
721
00:39:31,787 --> 00:39:34,722
Tim! Tim!
What are you doing?
722
00:39:34,756 --> 00:39:36,485
Saving the dance. Come on.
723
00:39:36,525 --> 00:39:39,358
The girls will see
how much fun we're having...
724
00:39:39,394 --> 00:39:41,157
and then everyone will join in!
725
00:39:41,196 --> 00:39:42,424
That's weird, Tim.
726
00:39:42,464 --> 00:39:44,056
Maybe it is,
Reverend No-Fun...
727
00:39:44,099 --> 00:39:45,589
but I am saving the dance.
728
00:39:45,634 --> 00:39:48,660
Stand back and watch the magic!
Whoo!
729
00:39:48,704 --> 00:39:51,867
# I-I-I'm just
a love machine #
730
00:39:51,907 --> 00:39:54,341
# And I won't work
for nobody but you #
731
00:39:54,376 --> 00:39:56,071
# Ohh, yeah #
732
00:39:57,346 --> 00:39:58,608
Yeah!
733
00:39:58,647 --> 00:40:00,706
Oh, yeah!
Get down to the funk!
734
00:40:02,417 --> 00:40:04,977
Don't you see how much fun
we're having?
735
00:40:05,020 --> 00:40:07,147
Join in!
It'll be contagious!
736
00:40:07,189 --> 00:40:08,713
It's called boogie fever!
737
00:40:08,757 --> 00:40:11,123
- Whoo!
- That's it!
738
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:13,094
Nicholas, dance with me.
739
00:40:13,128 --> 00:40:15,323
Oh, yes!
740
00:40:15,364 --> 00:40:18,265
Shake a leg!
Let's go!
741
00:40:18,300 --> 00:40:21,861
# And I won't work
for nobody but you #
742
00:40:21,904 --> 00:40:25,101
Maybe we should go out there.
It's just dancing.
743
00:40:25,140 --> 00:40:27,665
OK. I guess
I can stand this song.
744
00:40:27,709 --> 00:40:29,233
# Yeah, baby #
745
00:40:29,278 --> 00:40:31,610
# A huggin' kissin' fiend #
746
00:40:33,015 --> 00:40:34,209
Yes.
747
00:40:34,249 --> 00:40:35,841
Yes!
748
00:40:35,884 --> 00:40:37,977
Excuse me.
749
00:40:38,020 --> 00:40:40,250
May I have the pleasure
of this dance?
750
00:40:40,289 --> 00:40:42,223
Yes, you may.
751
00:40:42,257 --> 00:40:45,249
# That you have got to use #
752
00:40:45,294 --> 00:40:48,593
# If you look into my file #
753
00:40:48,630 --> 00:40:51,827
# I am sure
you can find out how #
754
00:40:51,867 --> 00:40:55,359
# To turn me on,
just set my dial #
755
00:40:55,404 --> 00:40:57,838
# And let me love you
for a little while #
756
00:40:57,873 --> 00:41:01,809
# Ooh-ooh, I-I-I'm just
a love machine #
757
00:41:01,843 --> 00:41:04,835
# And I won't work
for nobody but you #
758
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:06,177
# Ooh, yeah #
759
00:41:06,215 --> 00:41:07,739
# I'm just a love machine #
760
00:41:07,783 --> 00:41:09,546
# Yeah, baby #
761
00:41:09,585 --> 00:41:11,815
# A huggin' kissin' fiend #
762
00:41:11,853 --> 00:41:14,549
# La la-la-la-la #
763
00:41:14,590 --> 00:41:16,285
# La-la-la-la #
764
00:41:16,325 --> 00:41:17,519
# La-la #
765
00:41:17,559 --> 00:41:18,958
# Ooh-ooh-ooh #
766
00:41:18,994 --> 00:41:20,791
# La la-la-la-la #
767
00:41:20,829 --> 00:41:22,194
# La-la-la-la #
768
00:41:26,702 --> 00:41:29,102
All right, dance is over!
769
00:41:29,137 --> 00:41:31,002
Everybody go home!
770
00:41:31,039 --> 00:41:32,529
Thank you for coming,
ladies.
771
00:41:32,574 --> 00:41:33,836
You ruin everything!
772
00:41:33,875 --> 00:41:35,775
Buses are waiting
over there.
773
00:41:35,811 --> 00:41:38,473
Thank you.
I appreciate your efforts.
774
00:41:38,513 --> 00:41:40,572
I know this hasn't been easy.
775
00:41:45,721 --> 00:41:47,211
He was nice, too.
776
00:41:48,557 --> 00:41:51,117
Put the fruit trays away.
777
00:41:51,159 --> 00:41:53,491
The insects will be out soon.
778
00:42:11,580 --> 00:42:12,945
Hey.
779
00:42:12,981 --> 00:42:15,711
How about a ride out of here?
780
00:42:18,987 --> 00:42:21,922
Did this place
always stink this much?
781
00:42:23,792 --> 00:42:25,589
No, Gerry.
782
00:42:25,627 --> 00:42:28,892
This place used to stink
very little.
783
00:42:28,930 --> 00:42:31,899
In fact...
784
00:42:31,933 --> 00:42:33,798
it didn't stink at all.
785
00:42:33,835 --> 00:42:35,826
Well, it does now.
786
00:42:38,073 --> 00:42:43,807
I thought at least I'd be able
to ride the go-karts.
787
00:42:43,845 --> 00:42:46,336
I've never ridden one.
788
00:42:49,351 --> 00:42:50,784
You really like them?
789
00:42:52,621 --> 00:42:55,488
I'm so slow.
790
00:42:55,524 --> 00:42:57,788
It would've been cool
to go fast.
791
00:43:00,696 --> 00:43:03,631
Really fly, you know?
792
00:43:03,665 --> 00:43:06,498
I thought I'd be good at it.
793
00:43:09,204 --> 00:43:10,432
Really?
794
00:43:12,941 --> 00:43:14,272
That's interesting.
795
00:43:16,678 --> 00:43:20,444
Think you'd be able to handle
those hairpin turns?
796
00:43:20,482 --> 00:43:22,473
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah?
797
00:43:22,517 --> 00:43:24,849
Think you'd be able to handle
That powerful engine?
798
00:43:24,886 --> 00:43:26,786
Let's see what you got, Garner.
Come on!
799
00:43:26,822 --> 00:43:28,289
Whoo!
800
00:43:28,323 --> 00:43:30,450
Lean into it!
That's right!
801
00:43:34,696 --> 00:43:37,187
So, how did you learn
how to drive go-karts?
802
00:43:37,232 --> 00:43:38,722
Mowed a lot of lawns, Gerry!
803
00:43:38,767 --> 00:43:41,065
Avoid the obstacles!
Excellent! Sharp turn!
804
00:43:41,103 --> 00:43:42,502
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
805
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:47,107
Come on, faster!
806
00:43:47,142 --> 00:43:49,804
Faster, faster, yeah.
807
00:43:49,845 --> 00:43:52,279
No problem.
808
00:43:52,314 --> 00:43:54,077
How are you
on your jumps, huh?
809
00:43:54,116 --> 00:43:57,051
- These things jump?
- They fly, buddy!
810
00:43:57,085 --> 00:43:58,950
Watch out for that oil slick!
811
00:43:58,987 --> 00:44:01,285
Aaah!
812
00:44:02,958 --> 00:44:05,620
Aah! Aaaah!
813
00:44:09,331 --> 00:44:11,799
That was fun.
Let's do it again.
814
00:44:13,335 --> 00:44:15,235
- OK.
- Yes!
815
00:44:15,270 --> 00:44:17,636
As soon as I catch my breath.
816
00:44:17,672 --> 00:44:19,139
Maybe next summer.
817
00:44:19,174 --> 00:44:21,165
Come on, Pat.
818
00:44:49,537 --> 00:44:51,528
Josh?
819
00:44:54,209 --> 00:44:57,042
Josh? It's Josh.
820
00:44:57,078 --> 00:44:58,443
- Josh is back!
- Josh!
821
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:00,505
Josh!
822
00:45:00,548 --> 00:45:03,676
- Man, good to see you!
- I knew you were OK!
823
00:45:03,718 --> 00:45:06,846
Josh, what's wrong?
What'd they do to you?
824
00:45:06,888 --> 00:45:09,789
Josh...speak to me.
825
00:45:09,824 --> 00:45:12,725
Were you in jail?
The nut house?
826
00:45:12,761 --> 00:45:15,457
Josh, it's me--Gerry.
827
00:45:15,497 --> 00:45:19,661
Gerry. Pbbbbt.
828
00:45:19,701 --> 00:45:21,965
Heh heh. Funny, Josh.
829
00:45:22,003 --> 00:45:23,732
What happened, man?
Talk to us.
830
00:45:25,974 --> 00:45:28,841
Josh was bad.
831
00:45:29,878 --> 00:45:31,209
What's he mean?
832
00:45:31,246 --> 00:45:34,443
Oh, man. Oh, jeez.
833
00:45:37,452 --> 00:45:40,148
Josh now good.
834
00:45:40,188 --> 00:45:43,419
Good? What do you mean?
835
00:45:43,458 --> 00:45:47,155
Must be...
good to see my big ass again!
836
00:45:49,431 --> 00:45:51,661
I liked you better
with the lobotomy.
837
00:45:51,700 --> 00:45:53,258
What really happened, man?
838
00:45:53,301 --> 00:45:54,996
Perkis sent me home
without a refund.
839
00:45:55,036 --> 00:45:57,004
However, my dad's a lawyer.
840
00:45:57,105 --> 00:45:59,403
He threatened to sue
and Perkis caved...
841
00:45:59,441 --> 00:46:01,807
like the Buffalo Bills
in the Super Bowl.
842
00:46:08,850 --> 00:46:11,978
Hey, Josh, how long
have you been shaving?
843
00:46:12,020 --> 00:46:13,351
A couple of years.
844
00:46:15,190 --> 00:46:17,454
What was it like on the outside?
845
00:46:18,693 --> 00:46:23,426
It was incredible.
First, I went to the Sizzler!
846
00:46:23,465 --> 00:46:26,366
Got that all-you-can-eat meal.
I closed the place.
847
00:46:26,401 --> 00:46:28,699
How are we fixed
for supplies on this end?
848
00:46:28,737 --> 00:46:30,364
Perkis wiped us out.
849
00:46:30,405 --> 00:46:33,340
There isn't a Gummi Bear
left in this entire camp.
850
00:46:35,877 --> 00:46:38,903
Whew. I am doggin' it
this morning.
851
00:46:41,015 --> 00:46:43,779
Ahh. Come on, T.
852
00:46:43,818 --> 00:46:46,309
Now let's do it up.
853
00:46:46,354 --> 00:46:47,616
Whew!
854
00:46:49,557 --> 00:46:51,548
Start me up.
855
00:46:53,895 --> 00:46:55,294
Come on.
856
00:46:55,330 --> 00:46:57,730
Hurry up, guys.
We don't have all day.
857
00:46:57,766 --> 00:47:00,166
Lift those legs.
858
00:47:01,269 --> 00:47:03,203
Looks pretty sturdy, guys.
859
00:47:06,441 --> 00:47:09,274
- Hurry up, man.
- I'm trying.
860
00:47:10,445 --> 00:47:13,710
Roy, you're up first.
Give it a shot.
861
00:47:13,748 --> 00:47:15,739
Simms,
you're my lookout man.
862
00:47:15,784 --> 00:47:18,753
Give me a boost. Up, up.
863
00:47:18,787 --> 00:47:19,981
Uhh!
864
00:47:21,523 --> 00:47:22,683
Aah!
865
00:47:32,467 --> 00:47:34,162
All right.
Gerry, check this room out.
866
00:47:34,202 --> 00:47:35,726
Roy, Nicholas,
you guys come with me...
867
00:47:35,770 --> 00:47:36,998
and be quiet about it.
868
00:47:37,038 --> 00:47:39,336
That candy's gotta be
in here somewhere.
869
00:47:39,374 --> 00:47:42,434
I'll find the candy.
870
00:47:42,477 --> 00:47:44,570
Where's the sweets?
871
00:47:47,215 --> 00:47:49,547
- Over here.
- What do you got?
872
00:47:55,190 --> 00:47:57,818
Come on, you devil log!
873
00:47:57,859 --> 00:47:59,850
Uhh!
874
00:48:03,398 --> 00:48:04,558
Oh!
875
00:48:04,599 --> 00:48:06,362
- Hurry up.
- All right, all right.
876
00:48:09,270 --> 00:48:10,931
"Perkisize with Tony"?
877
00:48:10,972 --> 00:48:12,872
That's me!
878
00:48:14,142 --> 00:48:15,632
I'm skinny.
879
00:48:19,013 --> 00:48:21,311
- Come on, Josh!
- I'm trying!
880
00:48:21,349 --> 00:48:22,816
If you can't get it,
we need to leave.
881
00:48:24,319 --> 00:48:25,479
Yeah!
882
00:48:27,589 --> 00:48:29,955
Uhh!
883
00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:33,723
Thanks, Captain.
884
00:48:35,830 --> 00:48:38,298
I'm doggin' it, Pat!
885
00:48:40,902 --> 00:48:42,233
Letters?
886
00:48:46,407 --> 00:48:48,671
You guys,
these are our letters home.
887
00:48:48,710 --> 00:48:53,044
No way. This guy is sick!
888
00:48:53,081 --> 00:48:55,447
This is the letter
I wrote my grandma!
889
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:07,154
Oh!
890
00:49:12,300 --> 00:49:15,098
Pack it up, guys.
Let's move!
891
00:49:15,136 --> 00:49:17,468
Oh, no. We're dead!
892
00:49:23,578 --> 00:49:26,138
He's coming! He's coming!
893
00:49:26,180 --> 00:49:28,114
He's coming!
894
00:49:31,286 --> 00:49:32,651
Roy, the picture!
895
00:49:32,687 --> 00:49:34,518
Josh, the drawers!
896
00:49:40,395 --> 00:49:42,090
Put the whites away, Gerry.
Help me!
897
00:49:42,130 --> 00:49:45,293
- Whites right here.
- Just throw it in!
898
00:49:45,333 --> 00:49:48,359
Oooooo-ahhhh!
899
00:49:50,004 --> 00:49:52,632
Wait a sec!
Where's Nicholas?
900
00:49:55,743 --> 00:49:57,711
You guys go. I'll get him.
901
00:49:57,745 --> 00:49:59,406
Let's move it, Roy.
902
00:49:59,447 --> 00:50:01,972
Nickie! Nicholas!
903
00:50:05,019 --> 00:50:06,782
Mmm!
904
00:50:06,821 --> 00:50:09,255
What are you doing?
He's coming!
905
00:50:13,361 --> 00:50:14,589
Get down.
906
00:50:16,464 --> 00:50:17,726
Gerry, come on!
907
00:50:28,476 --> 00:50:32,105
- Oh, my. I didn't mean to.
- Just go!
908
00:50:33,615 --> 00:50:34,877
Uhh!
909
00:50:46,361 --> 00:50:47,555
Oh!
910
00:50:52,133 --> 00:50:54,431
Uhh!
911
00:50:57,739 --> 00:50:59,400
Scatter!
912
00:51:30,838 --> 00:51:31,998
Coast clear?
913
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:33,530
- That was close.
- Clear!
914
00:51:33,574 --> 00:51:36,099
- Whoo!
- We did it.
915
00:51:36,144 --> 00:51:39,113
You really showed
some guts out there, Cappy.
916
00:51:39,147 --> 00:51:41,672
One of those fish and chips
farts there, Nickie?
917
00:51:41,716 --> 00:51:43,240
I extend my deepest apologies--
918
00:51:43,284 --> 00:51:46,412
Wait! Wrapper.
919
00:51:46,454 --> 00:51:49,582
- What?
- Food wrapper.
920
00:51:49,624 --> 00:51:50,955
Come on!
921
00:51:53,795 --> 00:51:55,990
Who's in there?
What have you got?
922
00:51:56,030 --> 00:51:59,227
Nothing! No one!
Just go away!
923
00:52:03,137 --> 00:52:05,105
Where'd you get that?!
924
00:52:05,139 --> 00:52:06,333
I found it?
925
00:52:06,374 --> 00:52:08,467
You found it.
Come here, you little punk!
926
00:52:08,509 --> 00:52:10,477
- Tell us!
- Yeah, tell us!
927
00:52:10,511 --> 00:52:12,536
All right!
OK! I'll tell you!
928
00:52:12,580 --> 00:52:15,310
You gotta keep it a secret.
929
00:52:19,353 --> 00:52:22,288
# I know a guy
who's tough but sweet #
930
00:52:23,891 --> 00:52:26,724
# He's so fine,
he can't be beat #
931
00:52:28,296 --> 00:52:31,060
# He's got everything
that I desire #
932
00:52:32,734 --> 00:52:35,396
# Sets the summer sun
on fire #
933
00:52:36,904 --> 00:52:39,338
# I want candy #
934
00:52:43,611 --> 00:52:46,273
# Go to see him
when the sun goes down #
935
00:52:48,049 --> 00:52:50,745
# Ain't no finer boy
in town #
936
00:52:51,919 --> 00:52:54,979
# I want candy #
937
00:52:56,824 --> 00:52:59,156
# I want candy #
938
00:53:00,261 --> 00:53:01,489
# Hey! #
939
00:53:04,031 --> 00:53:06,727
OK, everyone.
Here we go.
940
00:53:06,768 --> 00:53:08,702
Hey, I'm not rolling yet.
941
00:53:12,406 --> 00:53:14,374
Are you rolling now, Kenneth?
942
00:53:14,408 --> 00:53:16,876
- Speed.
- Does that mean rolling?
943
00:53:16,911 --> 00:53:18,936
Yes, it does.
944
00:53:20,181 --> 00:53:21,944
OK, everyone.
Clap your hands!
945
00:53:26,621 --> 00:53:29,988
We've reached the midpoint
of our great experiment.
946
00:53:30,024 --> 00:53:32,083
Parents' Day
is just around the corner...
947
00:53:32,126 --> 00:53:34,492
and I think they're gonna be
very, very pleased.
948
00:53:34,529 --> 00:53:36,019
Remember to wear
your name tags.
949
00:53:36,063 --> 00:53:39,590
I don't think
they'll recognize you.
950
00:53:39,634 --> 00:53:41,033
Now it's time to see...
951
00:53:41,068 --> 00:53:43,832
what the Perkis system means
in pure loss of poundage.
952
00:53:43,871 --> 00:53:46,863
This is the moment
we've all been waiting for.
953
00:53:46,908 --> 00:53:49,308
Phillip Rubinoff,
step up, son.
954
00:53:50,978 --> 00:53:53,242
All right,
let's see how you're doing...
955
00:53:53,281 --> 00:53:55,215
you little whippersnapper.
956
00:53:58,419 --> 00:54:02,185
You're two pounds heavier
than when you came to camp...
957
00:54:02,223 --> 00:54:03,713
but we can fix that.
All we have to do...
958
00:54:03,758 --> 00:54:05,316
is decrease his food intake...
959
00:54:05,359 --> 00:54:07,520
and increase
his metabolic output.
960
00:54:07,562 --> 00:54:09,553
All right!
Step off the scale, son.
961
00:54:09,597 --> 00:54:12,225
Muscle weighs more than fat!
962
00:54:12,266 --> 00:54:14,894
All right! OK!
963
00:54:14,936 --> 00:54:19,032
Gerald Garner.
Step on up, Gerald.
964
00:54:20,441 --> 00:54:23,376
- Good luck.
- Go get 'em, Captain.
965
00:54:24,545 --> 00:54:27,378
Hello, Gerald.
Moment of truth.
966
00:54:30,618 --> 00:54:32,017
Hmm?
967
00:54:39,460 --> 00:54:42,088
You've gained nine pounds.
968
00:54:42,129 --> 00:54:44,620
Have you been cheating?
969
00:54:44,665 --> 00:54:46,394
Turn off the camera.
970
00:54:46,434 --> 00:54:48,402
Let me make something
very clear.
971
00:54:48,436 --> 00:54:50,631
The Perkis system
does not work...
972
00:54:50,671 --> 00:54:54,437
with cheaters
like Gerald Garner, OK?
973
00:54:54,475 --> 00:54:57,876
How can I sell an infomercial
about fat kids...
974
00:54:57,979 --> 00:55:01,471
who can't keep their
piggy little snouts shut?
975
00:55:01,515 --> 00:55:04,313
Who's gonna buy that?
Step off the scale.
976
00:55:07,722 --> 00:55:10,987
OK. Turn on the camera.
977
00:55:11,025 --> 00:55:13,687
Josh Birnbaum, step on up!
978
00:55:13,728 --> 00:55:15,992
Get on the scale, son!
All right!
979
00:55:17,865 --> 00:55:19,025
- Get off the scale.
- OK, then.
980
00:55:19,066 --> 00:55:22,058
Turn off the camera.
All right.
981
00:55:22,103 --> 00:55:25,095
All right, fine.
I blame myself.
982
00:55:26,240 --> 00:55:27,468
You know what?
983
00:55:27,508 --> 00:55:30,602
I don't blame myself.
No, not this time, Tony.
984
00:55:30,645 --> 00:55:32,636
Excuse me one second.
985
00:55:37,485 --> 00:55:39,453
How you doin', little Tony?
986
00:55:39,487 --> 00:55:40,784
Bad.
987
00:55:40,821 --> 00:55:42,379
Why do you feel bad?
988
00:55:42,423 --> 00:55:44,152
Because everything's
falling apart...
989
00:55:44,191 --> 00:55:45,886
and I can't do anything
about it.
990
00:55:45,927 --> 00:55:48,361
It's not your fault.
991
00:55:48,396 --> 00:55:50,330
I know it's not my fault,
but whose fault is it...
992
00:55:50,364 --> 00:55:51,626
if it's not my fault?
993
00:55:51,666 --> 00:55:53,964
It's their fault.
That's right.
994
00:55:54,001 --> 00:55:55,559
It's their fault!
995
00:55:55,603 --> 00:55:58,231
You have failed,
and you will pay!
996
00:55:58,272 --> 00:55:59,933
Tomorrow morning at 0600...
997
00:55:59,974 --> 00:56:02,067
everyone who has not met
their weight loss goal...
998
00:56:02,109 --> 00:56:03,838
will join me
on a 20-mile hike.
999
00:56:03,878 --> 00:56:07,041
Pack light, boys.
The party's over.
1000
00:56:07,081 --> 00:56:10,050
Twenty miles? Tony!
1001
00:56:10,084 --> 00:56:12,552
Tony, sir,
with all due respect...
1002
00:56:12,586 --> 00:56:14,884
I don't think it's healthy
to subject the--
1003
00:56:14,922 --> 00:56:16,617
Healthy? Oh, healthy!
1004
00:56:16,657 --> 00:56:19,751
The fat man is gonna tell me
what's healthy!
1005
00:56:19,794 --> 00:56:21,853
I'm just saying that--
1006
00:56:21,896 --> 00:56:23,454
You just--You--I--
1007
00:56:23,497 --> 00:56:25,488
I think if--
To subject the kids--
1008
00:56:25,533 --> 00:56:26,864
Know what? It's funny.
1009
00:56:26,901 --> 00:56:30,564
Nobody really cares
what you have to say.
1010
00:56:30,604 --> 00:56:32,731
You're a negativity-spreader.
1011
00:56:32,773 --> 00:56:35,264
You're contaminating my well,
Finley...
1012
00:56:35,309 --> 00:56:37,573
and I won't have it.
1013
00:56:39,613 --> 00:56:41,945
Let's make the best
of this afternoon.
1014
00:56:46,954 --> 00:56:48,444
It's OK, man.
1015
00:56:48,489 --> 00:56:50,457
Forget it, Pat.
1016
00:57:09,142 --> 00:57:11,372
Hey.
1017
00:57:13,780 --> 00:57:17,113
They're having a barbecue
over at Camp MVP tonight.
1018
00:57:17,150 --> 00:57:19,084
Carolina ribs.
1019
00:57:19,119 --> 00:57:22,782
The pork, not the beef.
1020
00:57:22,822 --> 00:57:25,848
I wonder what it would feel like
to be one of those guys.
1021
00:57:25,892 --> 00:57:29,851
Just once I want to score
a winning touchdown.
1022
00:57:29,896 --> 00:57:31,090
In my entire life...
1023
00:57:31,131 --> 00:57:33,964
I've never scored a point
in anything.
1024
00:57:37,003 --> 00:57:38,630
Gerry.
1025
00:57:41,208 --> 00:57:43,676
I'm just so tired
of being the fat guy.
1026
00:57:45,078 --> 00:57:47,308
I know, Pat...
1027
00:57:47,347 --> 00:57:50,009
but you don't want to be
one of those guys.
1028
00:57:50,050 --> 00:57:53,076
They're jerks.
1029
00:57:54,854 --> 00:57:56,082
Forget them.
1030
00:57:56,122 --> 00:57:57,953
Yeah, forget them.
1031
00:57:57,991 --> 00:58:00,016
Yeah.
1032
00:58:00,060 --> 00:58:01,925
Forget you!
1033
00:58:01,962 --> 00:58:04,954
Keep your washboard stomachs
and your oily muscles!
1034
00:58:04,998 --> 00:58:07,023
I don't want them!
1035
00:58:10,070 --> 00:58:12,129
I'm still tired
of being the fat guy.
1036
00:58:12,172 --> 00:58:13,730
Come on, Pat.
You're cool.
1037
00:58:13,773 --> 00:58:15,206
Everybody knows that.
1038
00:58:15,242 --> 00:58:17,733
I feel cool.
1039
00:58:17,777 --> 00:58:21,338
Being humiliated by that psycho
today was pretty cool.
1040
00:58:21,381 --> 00:58:23,042
Oh, yeah.
1041
00:58:23,083 --> 00:58:25,381
I've been
a lot of help to you guys.
1042
00:58:27,220 --> 00:58:30,155
At least you stood up to him.
1043
00:58:33,927 --> 00:58:35,861
Nobody else had the guts to.
1044
00:58:37,530 --> 00:58:39,327
We should've backed you up.
1045
00:58:41,034 --> 00:58:44,834
When are we going to start
sticking up for ourselves?
1046
00:58:48,241 --> 00:58:52,371
Now, Gerry.
How about right now?
1047
00:58:52,412 --> 00:58:55,813
Yeah. Let's go get everybody
and kick his ass!
1048
00:58:55,849 --> 00:58:58,511
Yeah! Hold it. Whoa, whoa.
1049
00:58:58,551 --> 00:59:00,178
We got to be smart here.
1050
00:59:00,220 --> 00:59:01,881
There's some proper channels
to go through...
1051
00:59:01,921 --> 00:59:04,651
but you get those guys
through the hike tomorrow.
1052
00:59:04,691 --> 00:59:06,386
I'll do everything
I can back here.
1053
00:59:06,426 --> 00:59:07,984
You be the leader now, Captain.
1054
00:59:08,028 --> 00:59:10,724
He is one, we are many.
1055
00:59:10,764 --> 00:59:12,026
His days are numbered.
1056
00:59:12,065 --> 00:59:14,829
- He's not so tough.
- Yeah!
1057
00:59:18,004 --> 00:59:21,337
This is the day we separate
the men from the boys.
1058
00:59:23,310 --> 00:59:26,211
Hightail it back to camp, Lars.
It'll be a rough one.
1059
00:59:26,246 --> 00:59:29,738
I don't want to see any slackers
or hear any whiners.
1060
00:59:29,783 --> 00:59:33,014
There'll be no food.
This is a cleansing hike.
1061
00:59:33,053 --> 00:59:36,853
Just Father Sky, Mother Earth...
1062
00:59:36,890 --> 00:59:38,915
and your dear old Uncle Tony.
1063
00:59:47,667 --> 00:59:51,364
Use the swatting motion
as an isometric exercise.
1064
00:59:52,839 --> 00:59:55,774
My dogs are killing me.
1065
00:59:55,809 --> 00:59:58,300
Gosh, somebody
going to die today.
1066
00:59:58,345 --> 00:59:59,710
Call 911.
1067
00:59:59,746 --> 01:00:02,044
Did you ever hear
the story of Icarus...
1068
01:00:02,082 --> 01:00:05,210
who continually rolled
the ball up the hill?
1069
01:00:05,251 --> 01:00:07,185
But when he got too close...
1070
01:00:07,220 --> 01:00:10,485
the ball melted
in the heat of the sun.
1071
01:00:10,523 --> 01:00:12,855
You're all like Icarus.
1072
01:00:16,996 --> 01:00:19,487
Aah! Aah!
1073
01:00:26,906 --> 01:00:28,100
- Whoa!
- Aah!
1074
01:00:28,141 --> 01:00:30,109
Thank you, Gerry.
1075
01:00:42,422 --> 01:00:44,822
Uhh!
1076
01:00:46,059 --> 01:00:48,289
Get up, Cody.
1077
01:00:48,328 --> 01:00:51,024
Leave him.
He's a straggler.
1078
01:00:51,064 --> 01:00:54,591
Stragglers must be left
to fend for themselves.
1079
01:00:54,634 --> 01:00:56,124
I was.
1080
01:00:56,169 --> 01:00:58,069
Get up, Cody.
We need to go.
1081
01:01:00,373 --> 01:01:02,102
Did you talk to Child Welfare?
1082
01:01:02,142 --> 01:01:04,975
They'd be glad to
come out and investigate...
1083
01:01:05,011 --> 01:01:07,445
but they can't come
for two weeks.
1084
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:10,210
That's too long.
What did your lawyer buddy say?
1085
01:01:10,250 --> 01:01:13,014
It's dicey. We don't
have any hard evidence.
1086
01:01:13,052 --> 01:01:15,486
Tony's the hard evidence.
Just look at him.
1087
01:01:15,522 --> 01:01:17,285
That's what the lawyer said.
1088
01:01:17,323 --> 01:01:21,259
- So we have nothing.
- Basically.
1089
01:01:21,294 --> 01:01:24,889
You guys seen Tony?
1090
01:01:24,931 --> 01:01:29,197
That moron owes me 600 bucks.
I'll kill that guy.
1091
01:01:29,235 --> 01:01:32,102
Busting my ass
around here for nothing.
1092
01:01:40,680 --> 01:01:42,614
Feel the chi.
1093
01:01:51,224 --> 01:01:53,624
Repulse the monkey.
1094
01:01:58,598 --> 01:02:04,002
Part the wild horse's mane.
1095
01:02:04,037 --> 01:02:05,231
I say we push him.
1096
01:02:05,271 --> 01:02:08,069
No jury in the world
could convict us.
1097
01:02:09,409 --> 01:02:10,842
Strike the chi.
1098
01:02:10,877 --> 01:02:15,007
No. Too messy.
We can do better.
1099
01:02:21,488 --> 01:02:22,921
Great.
1100
01:02:22,956 --> 01:02:25,948
You've all done
much better than expected...
1101
01:02:25,992 --> 01:02:28,085
so I've got
a little surprise for you.
1102
01:02:28,127 --> 01:02:30,459
I've decided to extend
the hike indefinitely.
1103
01:02:30,497 --> 01:02:32,124
- What?
- That's right.
1104
01:02:32,165 --> 01:02:33,359
You won't return to camp...
1105
01:02:33,399 --> 01:02:34,923
Until you're
in the leanest, meanest...
1106
01:02:34,968 --> 01:02:37,459
bestest shape
of your short lives...
1107
01:02:37,504 --> 01:02:39,267
with one goal in mind--
1108
01:02:39,305 --> 01:02:43,571
to defeat Camp MVP
in the Apache Relay.
1109
01:02:43,610 --> 01:02:45,874
Quite the ending to
a late-night infomercial, hmm?
1110
01:02:45,912 --> 01:02:48,745
We don't want to play MVP.
We want to have fun.
1111
01:02:48,781 --> 01:02:50,942
Yeah!
1112
01:02:50,984 --> 01:02:53,248
Cody wants to have fun.
1113
01:02:53,286 --> 01:02:56,278
All right, Cody,
let's have some fun.
1114
01:02:59,692 --> 01:03:01,489
Whee-ha!
1115
01:03:01,528 --> 01:03:03,359
- Oh, my--
- Whoa!
1116
01:03:03,396 --> 01:03:05,990
I'm on the top of the world!
1117
01:03:06,032 --> 01:03:10,969
Yeah!
How's this for fun, Cody?
1118
01:03:11,004 --> 01:03:14,132
Sam? Why don't you
come out and join me?
1119
01:03:14,173 --> 01:03:16,266
I'm on my way.
1120
01:03:16,309 --> 01:03:17,970
He's going to get us killed.
1121
01:03:18,011 --> 01:03:20,673
- We got to do something.
- Yeah, but what?
1122
01:03:20,713 --> 01:03:22,613
What's that? I missed it.
1123
01:03:22,649 --> 01:03:28,485
I was just saying
we need a little rest.
1124
01:03:28,521 --> 01:03:30,011
Good idea.
1125
01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:31,956
Let's take an hour
meditation break.
1126
01:03:31,991 --> 01:03:33,925
Then we're going to climb
that 1,000-foot rock face...
1127
01:03:33,960 --> 01:03:36,588
over there with
our bare hands and feet.
1128
01:03:36,629 --> 01:03:38,597
I know you can do it.
1129
01:03:38,631 --> 01:03:42,089
Until then, observe
the silence of the chi.
1130
01:03:46,039 --> 01:03:48,473
- Shoot.
- Let's do something.
1131
01:03:48,508 --> 01:03:50,135
I don't know.
1132
01:03:50,176 --> 01:03:52,872
Ohmmmm...
1133
01:03:54,447 --> 01:03:56,938
- You're lying.
- I don't believe in you.
1134
01:03:56,983 --> 01:04:00,982
You can't do it!
1135
01:04:01,020 --> 01:04:03,853
Hahh! Cripes.
1136
01:04:03,890 --> 01:04:07,519
What is all the commotion?
1137
01:04:07,560 --> 01:04:11,724
We realize we've been lazy,
and we want to change.
1138
01:04:11,764 --> 01:04:14,733
It's time we all got
our acts together, buddy.
1139
01:04:14,767 --> 01:04:17,201
Good! Good!
1140
01:04:17,236 --> 01:04:19,136
It's amazing what
a little food deprivation...
1141
01:04:19,172 --> 01:04:20,969
can do to adjust
your attitude, huh?
1142
01:04:21,007 --> 01:04:22,201
Can I ask you a question?
1143
01:04:22,241 --> 01:04:24,732
Go ahead, Roy. Ask away.
1144
01:04:24,777 --> 01:04:27,644
Is it possible to do a sit-up
if you can't see or hear?
1145
01:04:27,680 --> 01:04:30,513
Yes, Roy, it is possible.
1146
01:04:30,550 --> 01:04:33,713
Gerry says it's impossible.
1147
01:04:33,753 --> 01:04:36,483
Why don't we rock Gerry's world?
1148
01:04:36,522 --> 01:04:38,786
Come on.
1149
01:04:38,825 --> 01:04:41,555
Uncle Tony's going
to do a little demo.
1150
01:04:43,262 --> 01:04:45,958
There are so many myths
about the abdominal muscles.
1151
01:04:45,999 --> 01:04:48,092
I am happy to put
this one to rest.
1152
01:04:48,134 --> 01:04:51,160
See, Gerry? I told you.
1153
01:04:51,204 --> 01:04:53,434
Now, remember, Uncle Tony...
1154
01:04:53,473 --> 01:04:54,872
don't get up till
the count of three.
1155
01:04:54,907 --> 01:04:58,502
- I know the rules.
- OK, good.
1156
01:04:58,544 --> 01:05:00,011
All right, everyone.
Ready?
1157
01:05:00,046 --> 01:05:03,174
One, two, three!
1158
01:05:03,216 --> 01:05:04,547
Kiss my butt!
1159
01:05:04,584 --> 01:05:08,918
Oh, my! Oh, my! Haah!
1160
01:05:08,955 --> 01:05:10,445
Uhh! Uhh!
1161
01:05:10,490 --> 01:05:12,424
Pretty impressive stuff,
huh, Tony?
1162
01:05:12,458 --> 01:05:14,085
You disgust me.
1163
01:05:14,127 --> 01:05:15,788
Come here!
1164
01:05:15,828 --> 01:05:18,319
Come here!
Get out of my way!
1165
01:05:18,364 --> 01:05:19,524
What are we waiting for?
1166
01:05:19,565 --> 01:05:20,964
Come on!
1167
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:22,695
Run, Josh!
1168
01:05:25,238 --> 01:05:27,365
Halt!
1169
01:05:27,407 --> 01:05:30,069
Run! Run! Go!
1170
01:05:30,109 --> 01:05:33,135
Ow! Ooh! Hamstring!
1171
01:05:33,179 --> 01:05:35,477
Well, congratulations.
1172
01:05:35,515 --> 01:05:37,449
You've just joined
the 76% of Americans...
1173
01:05:37,483 --> 01:05:39,417
who forget to stretch
before physical activity.
1174
01:05:39,452 --> 01:05:41,443
Aah!
1175
01:05:46,459 --> 01:05:48,051
Let me see.
1176
01:05:48,094 --> 01:05:50,119
Ohh...
1177
01:05:50,163 --> 01:05:53,724
Uhh. Uhh.
1178
01:05:53,766 --> 01:05:55,791
Gentlemen...
1179
01:05:55,835 --> 01:06:00,329
we've reached
the point of no return.
1180
01:06:00,373 --> 01:06:01,931
Yeah!
1181
01:06:06,778 --> 01:06:08,939
The only problem is,
Kenny wants a lot of money.
1182
01:06:08,981 --> 01:06:10,243
How much?
1183
01:06:10,282 --> 01:06:12,273
Much more than
they pay camp counselors.
1184
01:06:12,317 --> 01:06:13,750
Great. Why don't
we have a bake sale?
1185
01:06:13,785 --> 01:06:16,049
What are you doing back
already?
1186
01:06:16,088 --> 01:06:18,249
Where's the other guys?
You OK?
1187
01:06:18,290 --> 01:06:19,621
I'm fine, I'm fine.
1188
01:06:19,658 --> 01:06:23,458
Good. We're still working on
a plan to get rid of Tony.
1189
01:06:23,495 --> 01:06:24,689
Wait till
you hear what we got.
1190
01:06:24,730 --> 01:06:25,924
That's great, guys...
1191
01:06:25,964 --> 01:06:28,364
but we came up
with a plan of our own.
1192
01:06:28,400 --> 01:06:30,698
That is so cute.
1193
01:06:30,736 --> 01:06:33,796
Whatever. Come with me.
1194
01:06:40,579 --> 01:06:42,740
I have got a bad feeling.
1195
01:06:42,781 --> 01:06:45,579
Just try to stay open-minded.
1196
01:06:49,254 --> 01:06:52,519
- Password, please?
- Yankee doodles.
1197
01:06:57,129 --> 01:06:58,892
Oh, good God.
1198
01:06:58,931 --> 01:07:01,456
Ooh! Uhh!
1199
01:07:01,500 --> 01:07:03,127
This is unbelievable.
1200
01:07:03,168 --> 01:07:05,033
So, what was your plan?
1201
01:07:05,070 --> 01:07:07,095
What do you think
you're doing?
1202
01:07:07,139 --> 01:07:08,731
Taking over the camp.
1203
01:07:08,774 --> 01:07:11,470
- Oh, good God!
- This is insane!
1204
01:07:11,510 --> 01:07:12,875
This is great.
1205
01:07:12,911 --> 01:07:14,879
Pat, you know what?
He snapped.
1206
01:07:14,913 --> 01:07:16,540
He was swinging
from a branch.
1207
01:07:16,582 --> 01:07:19,278
He was going to make us
climb a mountain.
1208
01:07:19,318 --> 01:07:21,115
Guys, you can't kidnap
the owner of a camp.
1209
01:07:21,153 --> 01:07:23,314
They give people
the chair for this.
1210
01:07:23,355 --> 01:07:25,220
It was self-defense.
You got to believe us.
1211
01:07:25,257 --> 01:07:26,849
I believe you.
1212
01:07:26,892 --> 01:07:29,360
This ends right now.
1213
01:07:29,394 --> 01:07:31,862
Get out of my way, Simms.
1214
01:07:31,897 --> 01:07:34,127
Yankee doodles.
1215
01:07:35,867 --> 01:07:38,927
Tony, I'm so sorry.
I'll untie you right away.
1216
01:07:38,971 --> 01:07:41,838
Uhh! Thank you.
1217
01:07:41,873 --> 01:07:45,240
When this is all over,
I'm going to deliver...
1218
01:07:45,277 --> 01:07:46,767
one well-placed kick
to your groin...
1219
01:07:46,812 --> 01:07:48,404
that'll stop you from
ever having children...
1220
01:07:48,447 --> 01:07:49,778
you worthless piece of--
1221
01:07:49,815 --> 01:07:53,717
Are these ropes tight enough?
We can get more.
1222
01:07:53,752 --> 01:07:57,518
I was going to help you out,
but now...
1223
01:07:57,556 --> 01:07:59,353
I have to take you down.
1224
01:07:59,391 --> 01:08:01,382
- All right!
- Yeah! Go!
1225
01:08:01,426 --> 01:08:04,520
I always wanted
to say that to somebody.
1226
01:08:04,563 --> 01:08:07,327
Guys, it looks like
we have to play this out.
1227
01:08:07,366 --> 01:08:09,926
I think there might be
a way out of this...
1228
01:08:09,968 --> 01:08:11,230
but if we're going
to succeed...
1229
01:08:11,269 --> 01:08:13,999
we have to stick together
and work as a team.
1230
01:08:14,039 --> 01:08:15,700
Uhh!
1231
01:08:17,643 --> 01:08:19,474
I'll see you all in hell!
1232
01:08:19,511 --> 01:08:21,308
Oh!
1233
01:08:21,346 --> 01:08:23,576
With all the bears
in these woods, Lars...
1234
01:08:23,615 --> 01:08:27,073
I doubt that you'll be
seeing much of anything.
1235
01:08:27,119 --> 01:08:31,112
- Bears love honey.
- Honey?
1236
01:08:31,156 --> 01:08:33,624
Chipmunks, move out.
1237
01:08:33,659 --> 01:08:36,924
Lars, have a nice summer.
1238
01:08:36,962 --> 01:08:40,329
- I didn't mean it.
- Heh heh heh!
1239
01:08:40,365 --> 01:08:41,889
I'm sorry. I...
1240
01:08:41,933 --> 01:08:44,060
Ow!
1241
01:08:44,102 --> 01:08:46,070
Aah! I hate you!
1242
01:08:46,104 --> 01:08:48,197
You're awful!
1243
01:08:48,240 --> 01:08:50,367
Please help me!
1244
01:08:50,409 --> 01:08:51,967
I have candy.
1245
01:08:52,010 --> 01:08:54,274
Candy.
1246
01:08:54,312 --> 01:08:57,543
Good boy.
You've come to free me.
1247
01:08:57,582 --> 01:08:59,106
Ohh!
1248
01:09:02,354 --> 01:09:03,719
Think we're going
a little too far here, guys?
1249
01:09:03,755 --> 01:09:07,282
No, man. There are no bears
in these woods.
1250
01:09:07,325 --> 01:09:11,193
Aah! Aah!
1251
01:09:11,229 --> 01:09:13,527
No bears, huh?
1252
01:09:13,565 --> 01:09:16,591
Aah!
1253
01:09:20,038 --> 01:09:21,596
Help me!
1254
01:09:21,640 --> 01:09:25,167
Don't you have any decency?
Help me!
1255
01:09:29,481 --> 01:09:30,880
Look at the little deer.
1256
01:09:30,916 --> 01:09:34,511
Mr. Deer,
I am a vegetarian.
1257
01:10:01,179 --> 01:10:05,047
Yeah!
1258
01:10:08,820 --> 01:10:10,287
Wake up, Tony.
1259
01:10:10,322 --> 01:10:12,381
Tonight is Evaluation Night.
1260
01:10:12,424 --> 01:10:14,517
The key word here is "value."
1261
01:10:14,559 --> 01:10:16,220
Do you have any?
1262
01:10:16,261 --> 01:10:18,559
No way,
because you're a loser--
1263
01:10:18,597 --> 01:10:20,792
a loser
with a skinny wiener.
1264
01:10:20,832 --> 01:10:24,063
So, relax...
and repeat after me.
1265
01:10:24,102 --> 01:10:25,899
I am a loser.
1266
01:10:25,937 --> 01:10:27,666
I smell.
1267
01:10:27,706 --> 01:10:30,106
I have no friends.
1268
01:10:30,142 --> 01:10:31,336
Now breathe and relax.
1269
01:10:31,376 --> 01:10:34,812
Please, shut that off!
1270
01:10:38,016 --> 01:10:39,449
Ohh!
1271
01:10:39,484 --> 01:10:42,009
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
1272
01:10:42,053 --> 01:10:44,112
Wow!
1273
01:10:56,601 --> 01:10:57,795
All right!
1274
01:11:04,242 --> 01:11:06,267
Thank you very much
for stopping on by.
1275
01:11:06,311 --> 01:11:08,802
Pass it on by.
I'll take one of those.
1276
01:11:08,847 --> 01:11:11,315
Party! Yeah!
1277
01:11:11,349 --> 01:11:15,217
Oh, my gosh. Is that Tim?
1278
01:11:15,253 --> 01:11:17,084
Whoo-hoo!
1279
01:11:18,990 --> 01:11:21,720
He looks like a human s'more.
1280
01:11:21,760 --> 01:11:25,753
Look at that food.
I should get down there.
1281
01:11:25,797 --> 01:11:28,095
No, Pat, don't go.
1282
01:11:30,969 --> 01:11:33,335
Stay here with me.
1283
01:11:34,372 --> 01:11:37,830
- Aah!
- Shut up.
1284
01:11:37,876 --> 01:11:40,674
Hey, Lars, guess what?
We're in charge now.
1285
01:11:40,712 --> 01:11:42,145
Know what we found out?
1286
01:11:42,180 --> 01:11:45,741
If you don't have a job,
you get deported...
1287
01:11:45,784 --> 01:11:48,446
so, Lars, buddy, pal...
1288
01:11:48,486 --> 01:11:51,387
you with us,
or are you against us?
1289
01:11:51,423 --> 01:11:54,620
I am with you.
1290
01:11:54,659 --> 01:11:56,559
I love you.
1291
01:12:01,733 --> 01:12:03,963
I thought they were
supposed to be on diets.
1292
01:12:04,002 --> 01:12:05,162
I think they're cheating.
1293
01:12:36,868 --> 01:12:40,861
Good God!
Can anybody hear me?
1294
01:13:10,835 --> 01:13:13,827
Excuse me.
1295
01:13:29,654 --> 01:13:32,555
Time to wake up, children.
1296
01:13:32,590 --> 01:13:33,955
Good morning!
1297
01:13:33,992 --> 01:13:36,756
Huh? Huh?
1298
01:13:39,831 --> 01:13:42,459
Who wants to tell us
the lesson we learned here?
1299
01:13:42,500 --> 01:13:45,060
Don't put Twinkies
on your pizza.
1300
01:13:45,103 --> 01:13:47,901
No. I think
what we learned here...
1301
01:13:47,939 --> 01:13:51,431
is something about
personal responsibility.
1302
01:13:51,476 --> 01:13:53,467
From now on, each of us...
1303
01:13:53,511 --> 01:13:55,945
is in charge of
their own diets.
1304
01:13:55,981 --> 01:13:58,211
We have to learn
some self-control.
1305
01:13:58,249 --> 01:14:01,412
Isn't that right, Tim?
1306
01:14:02,620 --> 01:14:05,487
You got it.
I'm ashamed of all of you.
1307
01:14:05,523 --> 01:14:07,115
Come on!
1308
01:14:07,158 --> 01:14:09,718
We got to get healthy
for ourselves.
1309
01:14:09,761 --> 01:14:11,729
If we'd start
respecting ourselves...
1310
01:14:11,763 --> 01:14:13,424
no one can touch us.
1311
01:14:13,465 --> 01:14:16,127
That's right.
You heard me.
1312
01:14:16,167 --> 01:14:17,600
We're as good as anybody...
1313
01:14:17,635 --> 01:14:20,160
and it's about time
we started acting that way.
1314
01:14:20,205 --> 01:14:21,365
We got to take control
of ourselves...
1315
01:14:21,406 --> 01:14:23,431
before we take control
of this camp.
1316
01:14:23,475 --> 01:14:24,942
Who's with me?
1317
01:14:24,976 --> 01:14:27,137
Who wants to do
this thing right?
1318
01:14:28,179 --> 01:14:29,578
It's up to you.
1319
01:14:37,322 --> 01:14:38,983
I will.
1320
01:14:55,807 --> 01:14:58,469
- Everybody ready?
- Yeah!
1321
01:14:58,510 --> 01:15:01,035
OK, let's go!
1322
01:15:07,018 --> 01:15:10,112
Is a tomato
a fruit or a vegetable?
1323
01:15:10,155 --> 01:15:12,123
- Fruit.
- That's right.
1324
01:15:12,157 --> 01:15:16,457
Today, we're going to make
pasta primavera.
1325
01:15:41,553 --> 01:15:43,919
Hey, how you doing?
1326
01:15:48,626 --> 01:15:51,595
- There he is.
- Hey, I'm over here!
1327
01:15:51,629 --> 01:15:54,393
Gerry! Oh!
1328
01:15:54,432 --> 01:15:58,493
Hey, big guy. Look at you.
1329
01:15:58,536 --> 01:16:01,004
- You look the same.
- I feel good.
1330
01:16:01,039 --> 01:16:04,372
That's important, too.
1331
01:16:04,409 --> 01:16:05,808
So?
1332
01:16:05,844 --> 01:16:08,642
Come with me.
I'll take you around.
1333
01:16:08,680 --> 01:16:11,672
- He hasn't lost a pound.
- Oh, Maury.
1334
01:16:17,956 --> 01:16:20,891
Don't be frightened, Nicholas.
1335
01:16:20,925 --> 01:16:22,916
I'm a beaten man.
1336
01:16:44,382 --> 01:16:46,577
Good afternoon, everyone.
1337
01:16:46,618 --> 01:16:49,314
Good afternoon.
I'm Pat Finley.
1338
01:16:49,354 --> 01:16:50,753
You probably recognize me...
1339
01:16:50,788 --> 01:16:52,949
from my work in the Camp Hope
promotional video.
1340
01:16:52,991 --> 01:16:56,757
Right now, I'd like to play
another video...
1341
01:16:56,794 --> 01:16:59,228
to show you people
just what it's been like...
1342
01:16:59,264 --> 01:17:01,061
so far this summer.
1343
01:17:01,099 --> 01:17:03,499
This'll be great.
1344
01:17:03,534 --> 01:17:06,094
Enjoy.
1345
01:17:11,209 --> 01:17:13,302
Aah!
1346
01:17:14,779 --> 01:17:17,304
Die! Yaah!
1347
01:17:19,117 --> 01:17:20,550
As a health care
professional...
1348
01:17:20,585 --> 01:17:22,416
I would like to take
this opportunity...
1349
01:17:22,453 --> 01:17:24,580
to warn you that
Tony Perkis's program...
1350
01:17:24,622 --> 01:17:28,991
is not only ineffective,
it's downright dangerous.
1351
01:17:31,696 --> 01:17:36,097
# Everywhere I go,
I'm late #
1352
01:17:36,134 --> 01:17:37,829
My grandma
runs faster than you...
1353
01:17:37,869 --> 01:17:39,962
and she's only got one leg!
1354
01:17:40,004 --> 01:17:41,835
Say it one more time,
because it'll multiply.
1355
01:17:41,873 --> 01:17:44,205
- 40 push-ups?
- 60! Down! Now!
1356
01:17:44,242 --> 01:17:45,709
- 80!
- I can't--
1357
01:17:45,743 --> 01:17:48,473
He is strict.
1358
01:18:00,391 --> 01:18:02,859
Kiss the ground, joker boy.
1359
01:18:02,894 --> 01:18:05,863
Would you get
your foot off my back?
1360
01:18:05,897 --> 01:18:08,161
Now you see what
we've been dealing with.
1361
01:18:08,199 --> 01:18:11,134
Why didn't you tell us
about this?
1362
01:18:25,550 --> 01:18:27,575
You've been
a good guard, Nicholas--
1363
01:18:27,618 --> 01:18:29,643
strong and fair.
1364
01:18:29,687 --> 01:18:33,987
Your queen would be proud.
1365
01:18:34,025 --> 01:18:39,122
I'd like to reward you
with this chocolate kiss.
1366
01:18:45,703 --> 01:18:47,227
Oh!
1367
01:18:47,271 --> 01:18:48,602
Yeah!
1368
01:18:48,639 --> 01:18:51,699
Where have you been
all my life?
1369
01:18:51,743 --> 01:18:53,711
I'm going to love this.
1370
01:18:53,745 --> 01:18:55,872
Oh, my God.
I'm going to be sick.
1371
01:18:55,913 --> 01:18:57,073
Nice touch.
1372
01:18:57,115 --> 01:18:59,379
I thought
I'd spice it up a little.
1373
01:18:59,417 --> 01:19:02,352
It gives you
that warm feeling inside?
1374
01:19:02,387 --> 01:19:04,184
Throw it over.
1375
01:19:04,222 --> 01:19:06,417
But it would smush.
1376
01:19:06,457 --> 01:19:08,618
That wouldn't be good.
1377
01:19:10,762 --> 01:19:13,629
No dinner, no lunch,
no breakfast.
1378
01:19:13,664 --> 01:19:16,064
How's that grab you?
1379
01:19:16,100 --> 01:19:18,898
Take the candy.
1380
01:19:20,838 --> 01:19:23,898
Nice and chocolatey.
1381
01:19:23,941 --> 01:19:26,876
Chocolicious.
1382
01:19:26,911 --> 01:19:29,539
Whoops.
1383
01:19:29,580 --> 01:19:31,275
Butterfingers.
1384
01:19:35,253 --> 01:19:36,515
Aah!
1385
01:19:36,554 --> 01:19:38,181
Well, well...
1386
01:19:38,222 --> 01:19:41,157
looks like London bridge
is falling down, huh?
1387
01:19:41,192 --> 01:19:42,420
Help!
1388
01:19:42,460 --> 01:19:43,688
How do you like the food
here at Camp Hope?
1389
01:19:43,728 --> 01:19:44,922
It's good stuff.
1390
01:19:44,962 --> 01:19:46,987
Wait till I finish
asking you the question.
1391
01:19:47,031 --> 01:19:48,555
Just say,
"I love the food."
1392
01:19:48,599 --> 01:19:50,226
- I love the food.
- Good. Here we go.
1393
01:19:50,268 --> 01:19:51,860
So, Josh, how do you
like the food here?
1394
01:19:51,903 --> 01:19:53,097
I love the food.
1395
01:19:53,137 --> 01:19:54,798
Wait until
I finish the question!
1396
01:19:54,839 --> 01:19:56,932
Damn! Forget it!
1397
01:19:56,974 --> 01:19:59,101
If he isn't stopped
right away...
1398
01:19:59,143 --> 01:20:03,170
somebody's child--
maybe yours--
1399
01:20:03,214 --> 01:20:05,148
will be hurt.
1400
01:20:05,183 --> 01:20:07,583
Ho ho ho ho ho! Yes!
1401
01:20:07,618 --> 01:20:11,850
That was wonderful!
1402
01:20:11,889 --> 01:20:13,823
Whoo!
1403
01:20:13,858 --> 01:20:16,691
So entertaining.
1404
01:20:16,727 --> 01:20:20,663
The cinematography,
the editing techniques.
1405
01:20:20,698 --> 01:20:22,495
Though I must say...
1406
01:20:22,533 --> 01:20:27,470
the villain
was a bit over the top.
1407
01:20:30,842 --> 01:20:34,505
Ouch.
Everyone having fun?
1408
01:20:34,545 --> 01:20:36,604
Parents!
1409
01:20:36,647 --> 01:20:40,481
You're the cause of
all my--their problems!
1410
01:20:40,518 --> 01:20:41,951
He escaped!
1411
01:20:41,986 --> 01:20:44,045
You little
British butterball...
1412
01:20:44,088 --> 01:20:45,953
I ought to show you what
it means to be an American!
1413
01:20:45,990 --> 01:20:47,981
Now you realize what
we've been dealing with.
1414
01:20:48,025 --> 01:20:49,458
He has to be stopped!
1415
01:20:49,494 --> 01:20:52,588
Ho ho! Stop me, hmm?
1416
01:20:55,933 --> 01:20:59,596
Uhh! I'm too strong!
1417
01:20:59,637 --> 01:21:01,798
Uhh! Ah!
1418
01:21:01,839 --> 01:21:05,070
I'm too motivated!
1419
01:21:05,109 --> 01:21:08,408
And you're too weak!
1420
01:21:08,446 --> 01:21:11,574
Aah! Uhh!
1421
01:21:11,616 --> 01:21:13,914
Especially you,
Garner, Gerald...
1422
01:21:13,951 --> 01:21:17,387
age 11, 141 pounds!
1423
01:21:17,421 --> 01:21:19,514
So, come on!
You want a piece of me, Pops?
1424
01:21:19,557 --> 01:21:22,355
No one's taking
this camp away from me!
1425
01:21:22,393 --> 01:21:25,157
Ooh!
1426
01:21:25,196 --> 01:21:28,996
I'm afraid you're wrong.
You are through here.
1427
01:21:29,033 --> 01:21:31,900
- Are you OK?
- I'm all right.
1428
01:21:31,936 --> 01:21:33,528
You have to take a stand.
1429
01:21:33,571 --> 01:21:36,438
Uhh! Guhh!
1430
01:21:37,675 --> 01:21:38,869
Oh!
1431
01:21:40,411 --> 01:21:44,643
Uhh! Ahh!
1432
01:21:53,190 --> 01:21:56,057
- We did it, Roy.
- Yes, we did.
1433
01:21:58,396 --> 01:22:01,559
Sorry to ask you to deal
with this, Mr. Perkis.
1434
01:22:01,599 --> 01:22:03,362
That kid was always
a little off.
1435
01:22:03,401 --> 01:22:04,698
My parents didn't hug me.
1436
01:22:04,735 --> 01:22:07,203
You don't see me freaking out
like a little baby.
1437
01:22:09,006 --> 01:22:10,974
I'm going to take a bath
on this.
1438
01:22:11,008 --> 01:22:12,441
Listen, everybody...
1439
01:22:12,476 --> 01:22:14,842
don't freak out,
don't call your lawyers.
1440
01:22:14,879 --> 01:22:16,141
We'll get you your money back.
1441
01:22:16,180 --> 01:22:17,909
We make nice,
everybody's happy,
1442
01:22:17,949 --> 01:22:19,780
But for now,
we close down the camp.
1443
01:22:19,817 --> 01:22:21,250
Everybody go home.
1444
01:22:21,285 --> 01:22:22,980
Have a nice summer.
I got to get out of here.
1445
01:22:23,020 --> 01:22:26,649
I'd love to chat.
Good luck to all of you.
1446
01:22:26,691 --> 01:22:28,659
- Say something.
- Mr. Perkis, sir.
1447
01:22:28,693 --> 01:22:30,058
Papa.
1448
01:22:30,094 --> 01:22:33,723
Papa, we don't want to go home.
1449
01:22:33,764 --> 01:22:34,958
Wait a minute.
1450
01:22:34,999 --> 01:22:36,398
If you kids
want to stick it out...
1451
01:22:36,434 --> 01:22:38,561
all I need to do is
put an adult in charge--
1452
01:22:38,603 --> 01:22:43,063
put it on the responsibility
clause for the insurance.
1453
01:22:43,107 --> 01:22:45,439
Who's been here the longest?
1454
01:22:45,476 --> 01:22:49,139
- Four years.
- One year.
1455
01:22:49,180 --> 01:22:50,374
- Two.
- Four years.
1456
01:22:50,414 --> 01:22:51,972
- Three.
- Five.
1457
01:22:52,016 --> 01:22:54,416
Eighteen years.
1458
01:22:54,452 --> 01:22:56,181
Eighteen?
1459
01:22:56,220 --> 01:22:58,415
- Whoa.
- 18 years.
1460
01:22:58,456 --> 01:23:00,788
What the hell have you
been doing with yourself?
1461
01:23:00,825 --> 01:23:03,487
Are you up to it?
1462
01:23:05,763 --> 01:23:07,754
Pat. Pat.
1463
01:23:07,798 --> 01:23:11,199
Pat! Pat! Pat!
1464
01:23:18,075 --> 01:23:19,269
I'll sure try.
1465
01:23:19,310 --> 01:23:21,471
Hooray.
Ooh, yeah, OK.
1466
01:23:21,512 --> 01:23:22,877
Congratulations.
Here you go.
1467
01:23:22,913 --> 01:23:26,007
Do the hokey-pokey
and knock yourself out.
1468
01:23:30,755 --> 01:23:31,915
All right, Pat.
1469
01:23:31,956 --> 01:23:33,753
Enjoy yourselves.
You deserve it.
1470
01:23:34,859 --> 01:23:36,121
I'm proud of you.
1471
01:23:41,699 --> 01:23:43,724
Dear Grandma...
1472
01:23:43,767 --> 01:23:45,735
things have really
turned around at camp.
1473
01:23:45,836 --> 01:23:48,202
We're finally having
a great time.
1474
01:23:48,238 --> 01:23:50,399
Uhh!
1475
01:23:50,441 --> 01:23:52,636
Whoo!
1476
01:23:52,676 --> 01:23:55,907
Yee-haw!
1477
01:23:58,349 --> 01:24:01,250
We're in control,
and we like it.
1478
01:24:01,285 --> 01:24:04,083
We're putting things back
to the way they were...
1479
01:24:04,121 --> 01:24:06,555
and no one is going
to mess it up again.
1480
01:24:10,160 --> 01:24:12,720
Hey, Chris.
1481
01:24:12,763 --> 01:24:15,163
Where's the motor, man?
1482
01:24:15,199 --> 01:24:16,791
With Pat in charge...
1483
01:24:16,834 --> 01:24:19,098
we are united,
and we are strong.
1484
01:24:19,136 --> 01:24:20,364
Can I get that wrench,
Phillip?
1485
01:24:20,404 --> 01:24:22,804
Thank you.
Josh, how we doing?
1486
01:24:22,840 --> 01:24:25,001
Got a bent axle over here.
1487
01:24:25,042 --> 01:24:26,509
We can do anything...
1488
01:24:26,543 --> 01:24:30,604
even take on Camp MVP
in the Apache Relay.
1489
01:24:30,647 --> 01:24:33,582
And we can win--I think.
1490
01:24:33,617 --> 01:24:35,380
Welcome, everybody...
1491
01:24:35,419 --> 01:24:38,320
to the 33rd Annual
Apache Relay games--
1492
01:24:38,355 --> 01:24:40,721
the favorites, Camp MVP...
1493
01:24:40,758 --> 01:24:43,659
versus the perennial losers,
Camp Hope.
1494
01:24:43,694 --> 01:24:46,527
This relay today
will consist of three parts--
1495
01:24:46,563 --> 01:24:49,930
an obstacle course,
the Hall of Intelligence...
1496
01:24:49,967 --> 01:24:51,958
and the Grand Prix.
1497
01:24:52,002 --> 01:24:54,300
May the best team win.
1498
01:24:54,338 --> 01:24:56,397
All right, Cody,
give it your best shot.
1499
01:24:56,440 --> 01:24:58,135
Put a little pizzazz in it.
1500
01:24:58,175 --> 01:25:01,144
On your mark, get set...
1501
01:25:11,155 --> 01:25:12,986
Get up, get up!
1502
01:25:17,094 --> 01:25:18,493
Uhh!
1503
01:25:18,529 --> 01:25:20,588
Looks like
an MVP romp again, folks.
1504
01:25:22,633 --> 01:25:23,895
Uhh!
1505
01:25:25,335 --> 01:25:28,463
Go, go, go!
1506
01:25:46,990 --> 01:25:48,582
Here, take it!
1507
01:25:48,625 --> 01:25:54,586
Whoa!
1508
01:25:54,631 --> 01:25:57,498
Keep going.
You got it, man. Yeah.
1509
01:25:57,534 --> 01:25:59,695
It's just a couple more.
1510
01:25:59,736 --> 01:26:01,101
Come on.
1511
01:26:02,673 --> 01:26:04,140
Up. All right, here.
1512
01:26:04,174 --> 01:26:06,369
OK. All right. Ready?
1513
01:26:06,410 --> 01:26:07,775
Uhh!
1514
01:26:13,717 --> 01:26:15,014
Yeah!
1515
01:26:17,387 --> 01:26:20,845
- Aww.
- Give me the balloon.
1516
01:26:20,891 --> 01:26:25,624
All right.
You can do it. It's easy.
1517
01:26:25,662 --> 01:26:27,994
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
1518
01:26:34,371 --> 01:26:35,736
I know you thought
we'd get creamed...
1519
01:26:35,772 --> 01:26:39,868
but I don't think
you'll get creamed riding this.
1520
01:26:39,910 --> 01:26:41,468
Whoa!
1521
01:26:41,512 --> 01:26:43,776
Did a little work on the motor.
1522
01:26:43,814 --> 01:26:44,974
Whoa.
1523
01:26:45,015 --> 01:26:47,540
You better
take that feather off.
1524
01:26:47,584 --> 01:26:50,747
I don't think
it'll fit under this.
1525
01:26:53,090 --> 01:26:55,684
Camp MVP is
setting a course record...
1526
01:26:55,726 --> 01:26:58,160
as they move into
the Hall of Intelligence.
1527
01:27:05,402 --> 01:27:06,835
Solve the equation.
1528
01:27:06,870 --> 01:27:08,394
- 55.
- No.
1529
01:27:08,438 --> 01:27:10,338
- 17?
- Nein.
1530
01:27:10,374 --> 01:27:11,534
Nine is the answer?
1531
01:27:11,575 --> 01:27:13,600
"Nein" is German for "no."
1532
01:27:17,214 --> 01:27:19,079
Artist and title, please.
1533
01:27:19,116 --> 01:27:20,515
Cher?
1534
01:27:22,186 --> 01:27:23,414
No.
1535
01:27:23,453 --> 01:27:26,013
Solve the equation.
1536
01:27:27,824 --> 01:27:29,018
Eleven.
1537
01:27:29,059 --> 01:27:32,085
Wunderbar. You may advance.
1538
01:27:32,129 --> 01:27:35,360
You must now name
five American vice presidents.
1539
01:27:35,399 --> 01:27:37,458
Quayle.
1540
01:27:37,501 --> 01:27:39,628
- George Washington.
- No.
1541
01:27:39,670 --> 01:27:43,071
- Quayle.
- You said that already.
1542
01:27:43,106 --> 01:27:44,971
Cher?
1543
01:27:45,008 --> 01:27:46,771
Da Vinci's "Mona Lisa."
1544
01:27:46,810 --> 01:27:49,574
Van Gogh's
"Houses at Auvers."
1545
01:27:49,613 --> 01:27:53,208
Botticelli's "La Primavera."
1546
01:27:53,250 --> 01:27:54,512
Over at
the Hall of Intelligence...
1547
01:27:54,551 --> 01:27:56,917
Camp Hope has almost
caught up to Camp MVP.
1548
01:27:56,954 --> 01:27:58,285
Can you believe it?
1549
01:27:58,322 --> 01:28:00,222
This is going to be
quite some finish, folks.
1550
01:28:00,257 --> 01:28:02,122
Right is gas,
left is brake.
1551
01:28:03,961 --> 01:28:06,293
- Alexander Haig?
- Sorry.
1552
01:28:06,330 --> 01:28:09,527
- Caught you.
- Shut up.
1553
01:28:09,566 --> 01:28:12,626
Nicholas, name five
American vice presidents.
1554
01:28:12,669 --> 01:28:15,467
Levi P. Morton,
John Calhoun...
1555
01:28:15,505 --> 01:28:18,235
Hubert Humphrey,
Spiro Agnew...
1556
01:28:18,275 --> 01:28:19,799
Walter Mondale.
1557
01:28:19,843 --> 01:28:22,004
That's perfect.
You may advance.
1558
01:28:22,045 --> 01:28:25,242
You Americans
have no sense of history.
1559
01:28:25,282 --> 01:28:27,614
Home stretch! Go, go!
1560
01:28:27,651 --> 01:28:29,676
Accelerate into the turns.
Don't forget.
1561
01:28:29,720 --> 01:28:31,017
Use your weight.
Lean into them.
1562
01:28:31,054 --> 01:28:33,989
Be careful.
This guy drives dirty.
1563
01:28:34,024 --> 01:28:36,322
- Thanks, Pat.
- Go get 'em.
1564
01:28:40,497 --> 01:28:42,829
Nicholas!
1565
01:28:44,968 --> 01:28:46,765
Come on!
1566
01:28:49,640 --> 01:28:51,972
I don't want to put
any pressure on you, Big Al...
1567
01:28:52,009 --> 01:28:55,342
but we have never lost
this race, all right?
1568
01:28:57,247 --> 01:28:59,408
Don't forget your wings, man.
1569
01:29:02,019 --> 01:29:04,078
Take 'em down, Captain.
1570
01:29:39,756 --> 01:29:42,020
Yeah! Ah ha!
1571
01:29:46,129 --> 01:29:48,893
Hey! Back off!
1572
01:29:50,434 --> 01:29:52,334
Whoa!
1573
01:29:52,369 --> 01:29:54,303
Ha ha!
So long, sucker!
1574
01:29:54,338 --> 01:29:56,329
Whoa! Aah!
1575
01:29:58,608 --> 01:30:00,439
Uhh!
1576
01:30:02,446 --> 01:30:04,778
Oh, shoot!
1577
01:30:04,815 --> 01:30:06,612
Come on!
1578
01:30:18,562 --> 01:30:20,587
Oh, no! Oh!
1579
01:30:34,511 --> 01:30:37,275
Go, Gerry.
They're coming!
1580
01:30:37,314 --> 01:30:39,111
All right, all right.
1581
01:30:41,852 --> 01:30:43,717
Go! Go, Gerry!
1582
01:30:48,959 --> 01:30:51,427
Hey! Come on!
1583
01:30:51,461 --> 01:30:55,056
- Come on!
- No!
1584
01:31:05,442 --> 01:31:06,670
Unh!
1585
01:31:09,479 --> 01:31:10,673
He's still behind!
1586
01:31:12,983 --> 01:31:14,450
He can't pass!
1587
01:31:17,487 --> 01:31:18,954
Come on! Unh!
1588
01:31:18,989 --> 01:31:20,752
No way!
1589
01:31:20,791 --> 01:31:23,021
Come on, Captain!
Come on, baby!
1590
01:31:39,943 --> 01:31:41,137
Ohhh.
1591
01:31:46,550 --> 01:31:50,543
Oooooooh!
1592
01:31:55,492 --> 01:31:57,687
Aah! Yeah!
1593
01:31:57,727 --> 01:31:59,024
Oh!
1594
01:32:08,705 --> 01:32:10,730
All right, Gerry!
1595
01:32:10,774 --> 01:32:14,369
- I flew, Pat!
- I know!
1596
01:32:14,411 --> 01:32:15,935
Hip-hip hooray!
1597
01:32:15,979 --> 01:32:19,642
Hip-hip hooray!
Hip-hip hooray!
1598
01:32:25,889 --> 01:32:28,289
- Yeah!
- All right!
1599
01:32:30,961 --> 01:32:34,829
You'll be happy to know that
we're filing a formal protest.
1600
01:32:34,865 --> 01:32:36,332
That cup belongs to us.
1601
01:32:36,366 --> 01:32:39,028
Oh, the cup?
This is what you want?
1602
01:32:39,069 --> 01:32:41,333
This is what your life
is all about, Chris?
1603
01:32:41,371 --> 01:32:44,238
I tell you what,
I'll airmail it...
1604
01:32:44,274 --> 01:32:45,639
back to camp for you,
all right?
1605
01:32:45,675 --> 01:32:47,836
Take care of that, Simms?
1606
01:32:55,118 --> 01:32:57,450
You're crazy!
1607
01:32:57,487 --> 01:32:58,715
You bet I'm crazy.
1608
01:32:58,755 --> 01:33:00,723
Come on! Get that cup!
1609
01:33:00,757 --> 01:33:03,248
- Oh!
- Crazy about my gal.
1610
01:33:03,293 --> 01:33:06,387
Whoo!
1611
01:33:14,004 --> 01:33:15,369
Whoo!
1612
01:33:19,476 --> 01:33:21,068
Hey, Pat...
1613
01:33:21,111 --> 01:33:23,443
thanks for the best
damn summer of my life!
1614
01:33:23,480 --> 01:33:25,243
Same here, Captain.
1615
01:33:26,683 --> 01:33:28,173
Whoo!
1616
01:33:36,759 --> 01:33:37,919
All right, guys!
1617
01:33:37,960 --> 01:33:40,485
Let's sing the inspiring
Camp Hope song!
1618
01:33:41,797 --> 01:33:43,560
Aw, come on! Here we go!
1619
01:33:43,599 --> 01:33:46,329
# Camp Hope, Camp Hope,
we sing to thee #
1620
01:33:46,369 --> 01:33:47,529
Come on, guys, sing!
1621
01:33:47,570 --> 01:33:49,162
# The greatest camp
in history #
1622
01:33:49,205 --> 01:33:50,365
# A place for boys-- #
1623
01:33:50,406 --> 01:33:52,772
Come on, Tim,
that song's boring.
1624
01:33:52,808 --> 01:33:53,968
Sing something cool.
1625
01:33:54,010 --> 01:33:55,773
You want to hear
something cool?
1626
01:33:55,811 --> 01:33:58,075
OK, cats, let's rock it.
1627
01:34:01,951 --> 01:34:04,181
Yow...huh!
1628
01:34:06,055 --> 01:34:08,615
# Camp Hope, Camp Hope,
the place for boys #
1629
01:34:08,658 --> 01:34:10,319
# We got no girls,
we got no toys #
1630
01:34:10,359 --> 01:34:12,623
# The bunks are hard,
the cabins hot #
1631
01:34:12,662 --> 01:34:14,789
# Last night,
a snake crawled in my cot #
1632
01:34:14,830 --> 01:34:16,991
# Make sure
the shower door is shut #
1633
01:34:17,033 --> 01:34:18,933
# Or else the 'squitos
bite your butt #
1634
01:34:18,968 --> 01:34:21,129
# And don't swim past
when your friends make #
1635
01:34:21,170 --> 01:34:22,933
# A warm spot in the lake #
1636
01:34:22,972 --> 01:34:25,133
All right, guys,
you're getting the hang of it!
1637
01:34:25,174 --> 01:34:26,436
Come on!
1638
01:34:26,475 --> 01:34:28,443
# Camp Hope, Camp Hope,
please give us food #
1639
01:34:28,477 --> 01:34:30,502
# We're starving in
a rotten mood #
1640
01:34:30,546 --> 01:34:32,571
# But still we're hanging
with our friends #
1641
01:34:32,615 --> 01:34:35,413
# So we hope
summer never ends #
1642
01:34:35,451 --> 01:34:38,750
All right!
Sounds good! Here we go!
1643
01:34:38,788 --> 01:34:42,588
# Here's a tip
that you should try #
1644
01:34:42,625 --> 01:34:46,755
# If people laugh
when you walk by #
1645
01:34:46,796 --> 01:34:50,926
# Just walk right up
and proudly state #
1646
01:34:50,966 --> 01:34:55,130
# Hey, back off, Jack,
I'm a heavyweight #
1647
01:34:55,171 --> 01:34:58,607
# Back off, Jack,
we're all heavyweights #
1648
01:34:58,641 --> 01:35:01,007
All right, guys!
Hey, look who's here!
1649
01:35:01,043 --> 01:35:03,170
# My name is Pat,
And he's our pal #
1650
01:35:03,212 --> 01:35:05,271
# And I'm Nurse Julie,
She's Pat's gal #
1651
01:35:05,314 --> 01:35:07,578
# You know I'm Tim,
And we're his band #
1652
01:35:07,616 --> 01:35:10,084
# And I am
Kenny the cameraman #
1653
01:35:10,119 --> 01:35:12,053
Stop!
Stop that stupid song!
1654
01:35:12,088 --> 01:35:13,350
You call that music?
1655
01:35:13,389 --> 01:35:16,950
# I know you think
you're all rock stars #
1656
01:35:16,992 --> 01:35:20,086
# But here's
an oompah song from Lars #
1657
01:35:20,129 --> 01:35:22,825
# About my favorite
Camp Hope job #
1658
01:35:22,865 --> 01:35:25,527
# The day that
I harpooned the Blob #
1659
01:35:25,568 --> 01:35:28,264
# And just
to make it very clear #
1660
01:35:28,304 --> 01:35:31,171
# I was not scared of
that big deer #
1661
01:35:31,207 --> 01:35:33,835
# And although
Tony is not here #
1662
01:35:33,876 --> 01:35:36,310
# I still enjoy Camp Hope #
1663
01:35:36,345 --> 01:35:38,438
Thanks, Lars.
That's great.
1664
01:35:38,481 --> 01:35:40,415
All right, guys,
you ready to take it home?
1665
01:35:40,449 --> 01:35:42,314
- Yeah!
- Let's rock!
1666
01:35:42,351 --> 01:35:44,785
# Camp Hope, Camp Hope,
we all had fun #
1667
01:35:44,820 --> 01:35:47,186
# And now our time
here's almost done #
1668
01:35:47,223 --> 01:35:49,623
# But we'll come back
again next year #
1669
01:35:49,658 --> 01:35:52,126
# Because our friends
will all be here #
1670
01:35:52,161 --> 01:35:54,391
# And here's a tip
that you should try #
1671
01:35:54,430 --> 01:35:56,796
# If people laugh
when you walk by #
1672
01:35:56,832 --> 01:35:59,266
# Just walk right up
and proudly state #
1673
01:35:59,301 --> 01:36:01,394
# Back off, Jack #
1674
01:36:01,437 --> 01:36:06,534
# I'm a heavyweight! #
1675
01:36:06,575 --> 01:36:09,942
All right, guys,
that sounds great, yeah!
1676
01:36:09,979 --> 01:36:11,742
We got a bunch of
heavyweights here?
1677
01:36:11,781 --> 01:36:13,146
Are you guys heavyweights?
1678
01:36:13,182 --> 01:36:16,049
I said, are you
guys heavyweights?
1679
01:36:16,085 --> 01:36:17,279
Gerry,
are you a heavyweight?
1680
01:36:17,319 --> 01:36:18,946
- Yeah!
- All right, Gerry!
1681
01:36:18,988 --> 01:36:20,979
Now the rest of you guys!
Are you all heavyweights?
1682
01:36:21,023 --> 01:36:22,183
Yeah!
1683
01:36:22,224 --> 01:36:24,454
Counselors,
are we all heavyweights?
1684
01:36:24,493 --> 01:36:25,960
Yeah!
We're heavyweights!
1685
01:36:25,995 --> 01:36:28,020
- Pat, are you heavyweight?
- I'm a heavyweight!
1686
01:36:28,063 --> 01:36:29,530
Nurse Julie,
are you a heavyweight?
1687
01:36:29,565 --> 01:36:30,827
I'm a heavyweight!
1688
01:36:30,866 --> 01:36:33,892
- Lars, are you a heavyweight?
- I'm a heavyweight, Tim!
1689
01:36:33,936 --> 01:36:35,995
Kenny the cameraman,
are you a heavyweight?
1690
01:36:36,038 --> 01:36:39,565
- Yes, I'm a heavyweight.
- We're all heavyweights!
1691
01:36:39,608 --> 01:36:42,577
So, Lars, you think
you're coming back next year?
1692
01:36:42,611 --> 01:36:44,806
I don't know, Tim.
I live very far away.
1693
01:36:44,847 --> 01:36:46,280
We'll fly you in.
1694
01:36:46,315 --> 01:36:48,510
Kenny the cameraman,
think you can make it back?
1695
01:36:48,551 --> 01:36:50,246
I might be able
to work something out.
1696
01:36:50,286 --> 01:36:52,516
That'd be very nice.
1697
01:36:52,555 --> 01:36:54,648
What do you say, guys?
Does Camp Hope rule?
1698
01:36:56,158 --> 01:36:58,456
Pat, did you hurt
yourself on the Blob?
1699
01:36:58,494 --> 01:37:00,587
Yeah.
I tore my rotator cuff.
1700
01:37:04,900 --> 01:37:06,834
Good afternoon.
1701
01:37:06,869 --> 01:37:08,063
I know what you're thinking.
1702
01:37:08,103 --> 01:37:10,731
"Another guy hawking healing
crystals door-to-door."
1703
01:37:10,773 --> 01:37:12,263
I don't like
to call them crystals.
1704
01:37:12,308 --> 01:37:14,833
I like to call them
"transformational facilitators."
1705
01:37:14,877 --> 01:37:16,572
Perhaps--
109087
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