Original subtitles

♪ ♪

[car horns blare]

Harriet: To be a great writer,

you have to observe people... carefully.

Some might even call it spying.

You watch your subjects,

eavesdrop on their conversations,

and it's acceptable because you're a writer.

It's your job to document the truth,

[chuckles] no matter how silly the truth might be.

[traffic zooms, horns honk]

[footsteps clank on stairs]

most of the people I watch have secrets;

it's up to a writer to reveal those secrets,

and someday I, Harriet M. Welsch,

will be a world famous writer.

Golly: Oh, so that's how you do that?

What is that?

What is what?

I said, "what is that?"

I always have a tomato sandwich,

and this isn't a tomato sandwich.

Yes it is.

No it's not.

Golly, your help here, please?

"you can fool some of the people

all the time..."

"and all of the people some of the time..."

"but you can't fool all of the people..."

"all of the time!" Abraham Lincoln!

Golly, my nanny since forever,

and the only person in the world

who even remotely understands me.

Chef: This is my version

of your mundane tomato sandwich.

Harriet: Chef, My mother's in-house food guru

slash personal trainer...

And my sworn adversary.

I won't eat this.

[plate scrapes across the counter]

Thank you.

You have the food appreciation of a two-year-old!

How was your route?

I got some good material.

I'll tell you about it when we're alone.

[drops cooking implement onto counter]

I am so glad mid-term break is over.

Hmm.

Harriet: Ever since I can remember,

I have watched the people around me

and written down my findings.

I've observed a lot over the years,

faithfully and secretly recording everything

in my beloved notebooks.

But this term,

I've decided to finally share my observations

with the public.

When I win the role of official class blogger

for our school blog.

Private property of...

Lights out, Harriet.

♪♪♪

TV announcer: in an average everyday school,

in an average everyday town...

Average everyday students

live their average everyday lives...

Except one.

Wrist phone: Come in, Jake Jones.

On my way!

Announcer: Skander Hill is Jake Jones

in the international smash hit, "Spy Teen!"

high school honour student by day...

International secret agent by night.

♪ I spy with my little eye... ♪

Announcer: And in this special

karaoke DVD edition of "spy teen,"

you can sing along with Skander!

Harriet: "Spy Teen." yuck!

Announcer: Skander Hill...

Poppy Mallone...

And Franklin Pangborn iii as Principal Morris.

Own the karaoke edition DVD and Blu ray now!

Harriet: Skander hill is yet another prime example

of society's downfall towards lowbrow commercialism.

Roger: Oh, it's just that I've been negotiating

the little finks contract for months

and now he's got a whole list of new ridiculous demands.

Harriet: The only thing my father loves more than his job

is complaining about his job.

He produces movies for a living,

but he acts like he's trying to uncover

the mysteries of Stonehenge.

Yeah, I'm getting an ulcer.

Harriet: No he's not.

No you're not, dear.

Harriet: My mother.

You'd think from all the texting

that she ran a multinational corporation,

but she doesn't.

She just sits on a lot of boards.

Well, with any luck,

we'll find out today if he'll sign or not, so...

Harriet: Oh, here it comes.

You can tell the rant's gonna be bad

when his eye starts twitching like that.

A grapefruit shaped like a bird?

I mean...

Do I have to subsist on this until lunch?

Tomato, right? Just tomato?

Yes.

Vi: Chef and I are trying to introduce

a more advanced gastronomy to this family.

Harriet: If I find out this bread is

imported from anywhere other than the corner deli,

I'm gonna be seriously ticked off!

Harriet, 1; chef, 0.

Harriet: Hey!

Sport: Oh hey.

So... Where's Golly?

At home.

I figured I'd mix things up a little bit.

Mix? You don't mix. You never mix.

You hate to mix.

Harriet: This is Janie,

one of my two best friends in the world.

She's a total "eco-geek."

last year, she strapped herself to the cafeteria garbage can

in protest of the school's overuse of styrofoam.

Vote for me, the new term is all about change.

New possibilities.

Remind me of that when I'm sweating

at basketball tryouts.

Harriet: This is my other best friend, Simon.

But everyone calls him sport.

[gym whistle blows]

Harriet: Can you imagine?

Your nickname is sport and you can't play sports.

[gym whistle blows]

Well, I'm planning on spending the whole term

converting corn husks into fuel

and winning the Nobel prize in chemistry.

And you, Harriet?

Harriet: I am 100 percent focused

on becoming the new class blogger.

This term it shall be mine.

Oh yes, it will be mine.

- Right. - Sure.

Janie: And, uh...

How exactly do you plan on overthrowing

Marion Hawthorne's totalitarian regime?

Yeah. The whole thing's about how popular you are

and FYI, we're not.

Well, up until now,

popularity's equaled dictatorship.

And last time I checked,

we lived in a glorious democracy

and my voice will be heard.

Oh, there he is again.

Skander Hill, teen idol and a huge nemesis.

Right up there with Chef, cauliflower,

and the entire spy team musical franchise.

You have the new "Spy Teen" cell phone skin?

Jealous!

Yeah! Amazing!

Did you hear?

Skander and his Spy Teen co-star are officially an item!

-Poppy Mallone? I'm so jealous.

As if you have a chance, Beth Ellen.

Anyways, they're so cute together.

They're adorable.

Yeah, totally.

[wretches]

What, Harriet?

Harriet: Marion Hawthorne.

The reigning class blogger and my supreme nemesis.

Of course she loves Skander Hill.

He's an idiot.

He's hot.

Not! A spy who sings and dances?

Yeah, 'cause that's plausible!

He's a complete fink! Totally vomit-inducing!

[clock ticks]

Ms. Elson: All right.

There is one last order of business

that I know some of you have been waiting for.

The class blog.

Now, the blog is your forum.

It's completely confidential.

Only Westview School students can read it

using their school password.

We need to assign a new class blogger this term.

So, let's have nominations, please.

I nominate Marion Hawthorne.

[clears throat]

I second it.

I nominate Harriet Welsch.

Sport: I second it.

Ms. Elson: All right. In the interest of democracy,

we're going to try something different this term.

Here's what I've decided.

Marion...

And Harriet will share the job.

You will both write blogs,

and at the end of the month we'll take a vote.

Now whomever the class thinks

has managed to get the most student participation

and discussion

will win the coveted title of official class blogger

for the rest of the year.

Harriet: Harriet, 1; Marion, 0.

Janie: Okay. You and Marion are in head to head competition.

What're you gonna write about?

I have some ideas.

I've been documenting my observations

on the human condition in my notebooks

since I could hold a pencil.

Right. The notebooks.

The notebook you never let anyone touch let alone read.

So, why the sudden need to share?

Well, maybe I've decided the world is ready

for my brilliant prose.

Sport: Ready or not, Marion's already posted.

What?! Already?!

"thoughts on the first day of a new term.

We're so lucky to have Ms. Elson as our teacher.

She's awesome."

What a kiss-up!

And you're surprised because...?

My blogs aren't gonna be about school.

They're going to reveal truths about human nature,

be thought-provoking.

Okay, people,

you could be witnessing environmental history here.

[liquid sloshes]

[liquid sizzles and hisses]

um...

[worried gasp]

[huge explosion, objects clatter]

[alarms ring]

You guys better, uh... Go.

Harriet: Yes, Janie might save the earth...

If she doesn't blow it up first.

♪ my heart is melting ♪

♪ 'cause you're hot like the summer heat ♪

♪ one night is all we got ♪

♪ and there's no time to stop ♪

♪ we think about the "should we" ♪

♪ or "should we not" ♪

♪ and I know that you got a man ♪

♪ but I'm here so put me in your plans ♪

Hey, Coop.

Hey. Where's Sport? It's Tuesday.

Uh... He had somewhere else to go.

Oh. Well then, I guess it's time for your usual:

Strawberry banana smoothie with a slice of pineapple.

Thank you.

Marion: It's Harriet! Come, sit.

You should totally start hanging out with us.

You want me to hang out with you?

Marion: Of course, silly.

Being the class blogger has its perks, you know.

Harriet: [gasps] Marion: Oh! I am so sorry!

Just give it to me, I can clean it.

What do you write in here?

Harriet: No-no-no-no-no!

Golly: Ladies.

Marion: Nanny saves the day!

I can't believe she still has a nanny!

How old is she? Like five?

How did you know I was here?

Oh, come on, Harriet.

Your routine isn't that hard to crack.

You might want to mix it up a bit!

I mix.

So, am I looking at the new class blogger?

Sort of.

Good for you!

A literary outlet is a wonderful thing.

"by words the mind is winged."

Aristophanes.

Very good.

[chuckle]

Harriet: Do you think I'm too old to have a nanny?

Golly: I think you're too old

to care about what other people say.

I don't!

I don't care what they say about me,

or you, or us.

But maybe as I get older

we can just change the "nanny"

to "guardian" or "manager,"

or "bodyguard"!

[laughs]

Oh, Harriet.

You know, there'll come a time in the not-too-distant future

when you'll realize that you don't need me anymore.

And that's when we'll both know

that it's time for me to go.

Well, that time isn't now.

It's on! The deal is done!

What deal?

The star has agreed to my terms.

Terms for what?

Vi: That's fabulous!

I told you it would all work out.

What would work out?!

Roger: They're coming over tonight to sign the contracts.

What? When? I'm not even dressed.

Uh, wait! Who's coming?!

Harriet, don't ask any more questions.

And you, don't spill the beans.

[Vi giggles happily]

All will be revealed soon!

Harriet: How is it that I've lived my entire life

with my parents and I still know nothing about them?

And you wanna know the scariest thing of all?

They don't know me either!

Well, does anyone ever truly know anyone?

I know you, don't I?

Do you?

Ha ha! He's here!

Who's here?

A surprise. Come on.

[laughs giddily]

Golly: Harriet!

Harriet: What's the big deal?

[whispers] well, for someone your age,

this is a very big deal.

[men chatter downstairs]

you know Salamander Helm, right?

Skander Hill?!

Exactly!

Your father is going to produce "Spy Teen Two The Sequel."

Harriet: I think I'm gonna gag.

Roger: It has. It has.

And let me tell you, guys,

I am looking forward to making this picture

a total home run! Huh?!

Ugh...

I never thought of Harriet as the shy type.

It must be puppy love.

Roger: I'll show you out.

What a hoot! [laughs]

How could they do this to me?

Why'd they have to let him in?

Why'd he have to show up at my door

with his perfectly tousled hair?

Ugh. We need to disinfect the vestibule immediately.

"I just experienced a home invasion -

Skander Hill in my front hall,

fashionably scruffy, aloofly bored."

[giggles, amused]

That's pretty good, Harriet. You really got him.

Harriet?

Oh! Harriet?!

Don't sneak up like that.

Dad, you can't do it.

Oh, okay, yes,

I know, they're bad for me, but I like them.

No, not that.

Then what? What can't I do?

"Spy Teen the sequel."

isn't time for you to be in bed?

Dad, you've got to understand that, if you do this film,

it'll be the single most humiliating thing

that could possibly happen to me

in my entire lifetime.

Really? Wow.

I would've thought you'd have been thrilled about this.

This the biggest teen franchise in the world.

It's garbage.

Well, it's business - my business, my dear Harriet -

and I need this contract, badly.

I know, but it's just-

Roger: Yeah, can you please go to bed?

It's late.

These really are bad for you.

Harriet, I need those!

Harriet: It's completely humiliating

that my dad has anything to do with "Spy Teen."

promise me on your souls that you will not tell anybody!

Marion: So my mom saw your mom

at the manicurist yesterday

and my mom told me that your mom told her

that your dad is producing the new Skander Hill movie.

Is that true?

Your dad is producing "Spy Teen The Sequel"?

That is so cool!

Is it true?

Marion: Or... Is it just a big fat lie?

Ms. Elson: Well...

Nice to see you girls working together.

I assume you're discussing the blog.

Harriet, when are you posting?

Now's your chance to show us what you've got.

Harriet: Harriet's blog, first entry:

-Your masterpiece.

Harriet: You think you know people, but you really don't.

Like this artist I know.

While some use paint and canvas,

his medium of choice is the con.

He's managed to convince this unsuspecting model

that she's his muse,

and in turn,

she supports his art with a lot of cash.

If that isn't bad enough...

He's fooled other models, too.

Who knows how many victims he's got out there?

The only kind of artist who does something like this...

Is a scam artist.

My muse!

Just another observation about life from me,

Harriet M. Welsch.

♪ ♪

[computer chimes]

Harriet: Two hits, no comments.

Hmm...

Well, maybe nobody's reading today.

What about Marion's blog?

What? 25 hits for this drivel?!

Ugh!

Marion: Nice blog, Harriet.

Harriet: Harriet's blog, second entry:

There are people in this world who shouldn't have pets,

especially those who care more about image

than substance.

Ms. Finch: Doggy day nursery makes a point of personally

speaking to every applicant.

We only accept the best.

I believe I will be submitting my recommendation.

Tiffany: You won't regret it. Mitzy is-

Ms. Finch: [gasps]

[Mitzy yelps]

Wet.

Harriet: Take Tiffany and Preston.

Their darling offspring has four legs,

a walnut-sized brain, and a perfect pedigree,

but that doesn't mean it's potty trained.

Just another observation about life from me,

Harriet M. Welsch.

[computer beeps]

Harriet: Yes! 30 hits and comments!

[computer chimes]

Girl: Who are these people anyway?

Bo-ring!

Harriet's all talk and no show.

I know who I'll be voting for. Marion!

Harriet: This is brutal.

I thought I would've gotten them with the last one.

I mean, Tiffany and Preston are classic!

You didn't read it?

Sport and Janie: Oh, we read it.

But it was kinda boring.

Ah, Harriet.

I've received some feedback

from some members of the class.

Perhaps you're a little overwhelmed.

Maybe Marion should take the reins for a while.

After all, she has so much more experience

with the blog.

No. Please, Ms. Elson,

I'm just getting the hang of it.

Okay, but remember, make it involving!

Spark conversation! All right?

That's what it's all about.

Girl: Did you hear about Aaron?

I can't even believe he did that.

Rachel: To Marion.

The destined and true class blogger!

Beth Ellen: To Marion.

[glasses clink]

See? I give up.

Well, you can't,

because the Harriet M. Welsch that I know is not a quitter,

nor would I allow her to be one.

Look, maybe you just need to rethink.

I mean, maybe these people that you write about

are important to you,

but not to everyone else.

But you said writers write about what they know;

I know everything there is to know about these people.

And you also said, and I quote,

"that it's better to write for yourself

and have no public,

than write for the public and have no self."

so maybe the key is to write about what you know,

but write about things

that other people can relate to as well.

That's what Marion's doing.

Beat her at her own game.

What are the kids at school interested in?

Mediocrity.

I'm an individual in a world of followers.

Coop: Hey, Harriet. Golly.

Hey, Coop. What's up?

Don't ask.

I lost another babysitter.

Oh...

Coop: Couldn't cope with four kids.

It appears that I'm the only single father who can.

Golly: Oh, I'm so sorry.

But remember, I have offered to help you anytime you need.

Coop: Well, did you give any thought to my idea?

Not yet.

Coop: Hey! I got a new shipment in!

You might be interested, Harriet.

Hot off the presses!

The kids really love this Skander fellow,

especially the girls.

[chuckles] They can't get enough of him.

I swear, his name is what I hear all day long.

Skander, Skander, Skander!

Skander, Skander, Skander!

Harriet: Have you ever experienced a home invasion?

I have.

Skander Hill, standing in my front hall...

Live and in person,

with his perfectly tousled hair,

looking fashionably scruffy

in his signature untucked shirt,

ratty old jacket and sunglasses.

All studied, all practiced,

all of the above equals fake fink.

Just my opinion.

[computer chimes]

[computer chimes]

Come on, come on, come on.

70 hits?! Yes!

Rachel: I can't believe you met him!

Yeah, I can't believe it!

I didn't exactly...

Rachel: What'd he say?

Please! Like I'd actually talk to the guy?

I would've died! What's he like?

He's kind of a fink. Did you not read my entry?

Harriet, you're hilarious!

Beth Ellen: Yeah, totally hilarious.

Ms. Elson: All right, people, sit down, please.

Thank you.

Harriet, I see your blog entry has gotten quite a reaction.

Love to see so much class discussion!

Are you claiming you know Skander Hill personally?

Harriet: It is a writer's prerogative

to embellish the truth when he or she sees fit, right?

My father is producing his movie, isn't he?

Of course I know Skander Hill.

Why did I even say that?

I don't know him.

I can barely stand the sight of him without gagging.

ugh. I'm just gonna go back

to writing about the people on my route.

What?

Uh, Harriet, as your friends...

Janie: We wouldn't advise that.

If you want to beat Marion,

you should keep writing about Skander.

Keep talking.

All these girls can blab on and on about is Skander Hill

and how amazing and perfect he is,

but you can expose him for the fool

he is guaranteed to be in real life.

Write about Skander Hill...

A completely uncensored expose.

I could burst Marion and her disciples' Skander bubble

and keep the blog all to myself.

It's a win-win.

You've got to get all the dirt

and secrets you can.

Sport: Yeah! And we can help.

No.

I work alone.

Harriet: You'll be happy to know I'm gonna save

the blog from horrible Marion Hawthorne.

Oh. And how're you gonna manage that?

Harriet: I took your advice,

found some common ground.

Vi: Sorry, I'm late.

Those "pennies for the poor" people

are so selfish with their time.

Harriet: Uh, Mom? Can I talk to you?

[exhales, annoyed]

I'll be outside... Stretching!

Vi: Be right with you.

Yes, Harriet?

Can you talk Daddy into letting me

go to work with him tomorrow?

I know it's a Saturday,

but they're still shooting, right?

Why? You've never expressed any interest before.

Well, Daddy's always so busy.

I never get to see him.

And don't they say that one of the keys

to successful childhood development

is the presence of a strong paternal figurehead?

I mean, Janie's father takes her to movies and stuff,

and Sport and his dad play basketball.

[exhales heavily]

I really think my self-esteem is suffering.

Vi: Oh, Honey.

I will talk to your father.

I think someone has a crush on Chandler Hilt.

Skander Hill?

Exactly.

Hmm.

Roger: Come to the set?

No. She can't come to the set.

Why not?

Well, 'cause I'm way too busy.

Plus, you know, Skander is insane about his privacy.

I don't want to mess anything up.

Roger, this is the first time

that Harriet has shown any interest in your job.

You should bend over backwards to make it happen.

The bottom line is,

you don't spend enough time with your daughter.

Roger: Well, that's not true. I spend tons of time!

All I know is that father/daughter bonding time

is an important key to a child's development.

Goodness knows I'm always here for her,

but you're at an office all day.

Roger: Okay! Fine!

Fine, you win.

And, you know, maybe... Maybe you're right.

Maybe it'd be good to, you know,

let her see what dear old dad does for a living.

Vi: Exactly. So, it's settled.

The three of you will go tomorrow morning!

Harriet: Three?! Roger: Three?

Vi: Obviously, Golly will go along.

Roger: Oh, obviously. Yes, obviously.

Golly: Really good, yeah.

Well, I should know more tomorrow, Coop.

[laughs] no I won't keep you in suspense.

No, don't worry. It's gonna be just fine.

[tires squeal lightly]

[crew members chatter, car rumbles]

Okay, Harriet,

now, I'm sure you're gonna wanna see the set.

I will take you there.

Okay.

But you gotta promise me

you're gonna stay in the background.

Yeah, of course.

Roger: Okay?

Tim: Mr. Welsch! Hey, hi!

So glad you're here!

There's a big problem in props.

They need you right away.

Well, can't someone else deal with it?

Man over headset: We need someone down here, stat!

The master [unclear] just malfunctioned.

Tell Roger to get over here now!

Okay, I'll be there. Okay. Sorry, guys.

Duty calls. Uh... Tim?

Yeah.

This is my daughter, Harriet.

Tim: Well, hello! Harriet: Hi. Nice to meet you.

And this is her nanny, Golly.

Tim: Hi Golly: Hey.

Roger: Now, I need you to take them to set,

but you know how Skander hates visitors, correct?

Mm-hm.

Yes? We know this?

All right, so please stay low.

You got it, boss!

Wanna go?

Golly: Yeah.

Tim: So, the boss' daughter, huh?

You must be pretty proud of your dad!

You know I have such mad respect for him,

and you can tell him I said that.

Hey, um...

Golly: Oh, okay.

Tim: Yeah, we make movies in here.

Golly: Cool.

Golly: Harriet?

You coming?

[bell rings, crew chatters]

Tim: So, you saw the first movie, right?

Harriet: No I haven't, actually.

Tim: No? Wow. Okay.

Well, this sequel's gonna blow it out of the water!

Oh yeah.

At the end of the original "Spy Teen," Jake Jones,

as played by the brilliant Skander Hill,

successfully exposes his high school's principal

as a double agent

and found true love with Lisa Lidell

a.k.a. Poppy Mallone.

In the sequel, the entire cast goes on a senior trip to Europe!

But the minute Skander thinks he's free

to enjoy time with his friends,

the ISB - the International Spy Bureau - call;

they need his help again!

So now he's gotta choose

between having fun with his posse

or his sworn duty to protect our country!

All while keeping his spy identity a secret!

Crew member: Michelle! Can I get a hand over here, please?

How incredibly uncredible.

Crew member: Five, six, seven, eight!

♪ It's funny how you can look at life ♪

♪ As memories caught in time ♪

♪ Frozen like a statue... ♪

Poppy: Agh!

Director: Cut! Crew member: Stop music!

Here we go again.

Skander, I had my words right!

Yeah, but it doesn't really help

when your dance is way off!

Poppy: [scoffs] it was not!

Skander: And when, miracle of miracles,

you do get the steps right...

Tim: Oh, um, you really shouldn't be doing that.

Everything you see or hear is totally confidential,

so maybe let's put it away, okay?

Skander: It's clearly one or the other with you, isn't it?

You might wanna cross "multi-talented"

off the resume.

Well, maybe if someone wasn't drowning me in spit,

I'd be able to focus!

Director: Kids! Kids! It's just a rehearsal.

That's what they're for, right?

Work out the little kinks.

Now remember, this is a happy moment.

Right? It's your first time in Paris

and you wanna see it all:

The art, the culture, the museums, right?

Let's take it from the chorus.

Skander: [angered grunt]

Director: Playback!

[music begins]

♪ It's funny how you can look at life ♪

♪ As memories caught in time, in time, in time... ♪

♪ Frozen like a statue in the museum of your mind ♪

♪ I've collected all the artifacts... ♪

[material rips, Poppy grunts]

Will somebody fix this?!

Stop! You're ripping it!

Skander: I'm not ripping it, you are!

Steven: I'm here for you, children!

Steven will make it better!

Skander: Here we go again!

Poppy: You know, I am so glad I broke up with you.

Uh, really, don't do that!

Okay, I know you're Mr. Welsch's kid, but...

Harriet.

Golly!

Poppy: I'm not even touching your arm, Skander!

Thank you.

Skander: This is so ridiculous!

Poppy: Yeah, hide it like you're singing.

Skander: Will you please get her off of me!

Steven: Just don't rip the fabric.

These are designer labels.

It's right-

Skander, keep your hands to yourself!

It's not intentional, believe me!

[fake chuckle]

crew member: All right, clear the set!

We should probably leave.

Tim: Oh! Golly: Oh, Tim!

[props clatter and crash]

Director: Stop it!

Skander: Who are these people?

Will you get them outta here?!

Have I no privacy on set?!

This is ridiculous!

Have you fixed this yet?

Director: Let's go, guys!

Have we got no privacy on set? Come on, move it! Let's go!

Everyone out! If you don't need to be here, let's go!

And what happened? These are statues,

they're not supposed to move, people.

Who's fired?!

Harriet: During my one-on-one time

with Skander on set today,

I witnessed something beyond belief.

And while it pains me to know

that certain fanatic Skandroids will be crushed

by the words I'm about to write,

I feel it is my journalistic duty to tell the truth.

And the truth is that the fairy-tale love story

of Spy Teen's co-stars does not end

in happily ever after.

In fact, it ends in insults and all-out hatred.

Will you please get her off of me?!

Golly: [clear throat]

Oh, Golly! I didn't see you there!

"If you do not tell the truth about yourself," Harriet,

"you can't tell it about others."

Virginia Woolf.

Well, wait.

What is that supposed to mean?

[car horn honks]

Janie: The entry was brilliant.

That's all there is to it.

You have single-handedly

taken down a Hollywood power couple.

Sport: Prepare for the moaning and sobbing.

Are they really breaking up?

Yeah! Crushing, isn't it?

Rachel: Does that mean I still have a chance?

Beth Ellen: Yeah, does it?

Harriet: What? Rachel: Skander is single?

This is amazing!

Harriet: No, no it's not! It's heart-breaking, right?

Rachel: I can't believe you were on set.

What did he look like? What was he wearing?

Rachel: Shhh, Beth Ellen. I'm talking here!

What did he look like? What was he wearing?

I think we created a monster.

Harriet, you are just the coolest!

I am?

So, did they really yell at each other like that?

Tell us everything!

Beth Ellen: Everything!

J-just excuse me for a second.

Coop: And I don't wanna put any pressure on you, but...

Think about it.

Golly: I know your family has to come first.

Harriet: His family comes first?

What about mine?

Like I said, consider it.

I will. [laughs]

Harriet: Whoa!

[Golly sighs]

Harriet: Must... follow.

Marion: So...

When are you going back to set?

You know more than the tabloids do!

Rachel: I can't wait for your next blog.

Marion: Can you post some pictures?

Yeah, I'll keep you guys posted.

My dad's the producer.

I can go visit Skander on set anytime I want.

The set is closed.

It is locked down.

Something happened yesterday - who knows what it was,

but that little twit Skander went ballistic.

Then I had his agent in my office all day

unhinged completely.

Couple of real finks, let me tell ya.

And now, it is closed.

There are no reporters allowed,

there's no visitors allowed.

So, I'm sorry, this whole... [exhales heavily]

father/daughter bonding thing is gonna have to go on hold.

Harriet: What's gonna happen to the blog? Marion's gonna win!

Janie: There's gotta be something.

Sport: We can help.

Harriet: No, I told you, I work alone.

Sport: Clearly that didn't work too well.

I've got an idea! I'll call you back.

♪ ♪

Bingo!

What is she up to?

[cell phone rings]

Sport, I'm right here! Just wanted to make sure things are

working, watches are synchronized.

Harriet: Bingo. Right on time.

Let's go.

♪ ♪

Harriet: Go.

What now? Get in the elevator when he does. Okay, what about-

Harriet? Harriet?! Let's go.

Could you phone "Mr. Brown's" room, please?

I have an appointment.

Thank you.

Don't let 'em see you. Whoa! [cake splats]

Uugh...

[video game music plays and beeps]

Ugh! Who designed this thing? I hate it! I'm not winning.

You're doing great, kiddo.

[knock at door]

-Steven, right? -Stefan.

-In.

-I really need to get back to the gym.

I barely made it down the hall with this crazy rack.

Stefan: Is that the new "spy teen" video game? I love it!

Skander: Yeah, it's insane. Steven: Oh, perfect. Get her!

Get her! Okay, showtime. The clothes for the big finale scene

are to die for! So you can thank me now because I know you're

gonna love them! Take a look at these puppies.

Don't you love them?

You are gonna be able to sing and dance your heart out in any

one of these. Now, I know it's gonna be hard to choose, but...

This one's fine.

Stefan: Oh, good choice. Good choice.

I always knew you had an eye.

But I didn't know he had a tattoo! Sol: Shhhh.

It's a birthmark.

Stefan: Oh, and it's in the shape of a heart!

That's adorable. I've never seen it on screen before!

Skander: That's because they always cover it with makeup.

Steven: I can't imagine why.

I think this is the one. What do you think, Sol?

Sol: You got it, baby. And boy was that was tough.

Stefan: No need to thank me.

I'm just doing my job, making the world a more

beautiful place one mind-blowing ensemble at a time.

[laughs out loud]

Skander: What was that? Sol: What?

- What was that? -What was what?

-There was a sound from over here.

-What sound? No, no, hey, take it easy, buddy.

-Let's hit the gym, huh?

-What? Why? Why? You think I'm puttin' on weight?

-Do you think I need to work out?

-No. You're a regular Adonis, kiddo.

Who?

What movie was he in?

Sol: Never mind. You just need to work off some nerves.

We'll hit the gym: Backs, bis, tris, the whole deal.

You - walk with us. Skander: Yeah?

Sol: Yeah. We'll hit the steam.

Right? Have a fruit plate and some yogurt.

[Harriet laughs] We're making the world a more beautiful place

one no-name t-shirt at a time. [laughs]

Skander: [groans] I gotta get my shades and cap.

Sol: We'll get them afterwards, okay?

I'm sorry. I need them, okay? I don't go anywhere without them.

Sol: It's all good, babe.

Okay, so... What were you saying?

Why did they say I was a lightweight?

They did not say lightweight... Exactly.

Skander: But I totally nailed the audition!

Sol: I know. But it's the director,

he just wants to go a different direction.

Skander: You know what it is, Sol?

It's those stupid spy movies. What director's ever

gonna take me seriously? You can play me on a video game!

You never should've signed me up for the sequel.

I am gonna be spy boy until my career's

completely down the toilet.

[laboured breaths]

Mission accomplished. I was hanging out with Skander today

at his hotel room. Turns out Mr. Perfect is not so perfect.

Take a look at this disgusting birthmark right on his...

Now don't get carried away like those finks

who write for the tabloids.

Where were you last night? I heard you come in.

What were you doing up so late?

Harriet, I do have a life outside these walls, you know.

Harriet: No, I don't know, but I'm going to find out.

[computer chimes]

Rachel: It's so cute! It totally looks like a heart!

Beth Ellen: It totally does!

I didn't think it was possible for me to love

him even more, but I so do!

I am both amazed and appalled at human nature.

These people are sub-human.

Rachel: Harriet! Your blog entry was great today.

-Love the pictures. -Uh... Thanks.

[clears throat] wasn't Marion's good too?

I haven't read hers yet.

But thanks, Rachel. I just got the new karaoke DVD of the

original "Spy Teen" movie and I'm having a small party of

super-close friends over to play it tonight.

You want to come?

Me?

Uh... Sure.

Yeah.

Well, if you're such good friends with Skander,

why don't you bring him to the party?

I'd die.

Uh sure. Of course, I'll ask him.

Love your blog.

Harriet: What?

You're going?

I have to infiltrate

enemy territory; that's the only reason I said yes.

Sure.

And I'm gonna need your help.

♪ I spy with my little eye ♪

♪ a lie, a lie, a lie ♪

♪ I spy... ♪

Harriet: So this is what it's like to be on Marion

and Rachel's a-list.

It's surreal... And really, really pink.

♪ oh... Lie ♪

Harriet! It's your turn! Sing!

Harriet: Uh, no, no. That's okay.

Rachel: Come on, it's so easy. Just follow the bouncing ball.

I'll just leave the singing to Skander.

Do you really think he's coming?

He didn't say no. [gasps] oh wait, maybe this is him.

Hello? Oh hey, Skander.

You're outside? Yeah, sure I'll come down!

Beth Ellen and Rachel: [excited squeals]

Rachel: Oh my gosh, oh my god!

Wait! He's a little shy, so just play it cool, okay?

Rachel: Oh my gosh... He's totally in there!

Can you see him?

There he is! Oh my gosh, I'm gonna faint! Let me see.

Are they still looking? Yup. Don't let them see you! I think

it's working. Now I'm going to reach in and give you a hug.

Then I want you to stick your arm out and wave at the window.

Got it? This is so ridiculous. Just shut up and hug me!

Now wave.

[exhales] she's so lucky!

Sorry, Skander's too tired from rehearsal to come in.

-Convenient. -I'm sorry?

Why would Skander Hill take a cab

when he has a driver? He likes to travel... Incognito.

If you know Skander Hill, I dare you to bring something to school

that belongs to him. Well, this...

Is his water bottle. His lips have touched it.

[girls squeal] I swear.

That could belong to anyone.

Don't be such a Debbie downer.

Come on, Harriet, it's your turn to sing.

No, I can't sing.

-Of course you can. -No, really, I can't.

♪ gotta be strong ♪

♪ I spy with my little eye ♪

♪ a lie, a lie, a lie ♪

♪ I try to be the good guy ♪ ♪ yeah, I try, I try, I try ♪

Janie: But it's Saturday.

We always go to the park on Saturday.

Harriet: I'm sorry.

I have to bail.

Janie: Why?

Harriet: I have a reconnaissance mission.

Marion Hawthorne still refuses to believe I know Skander.

You don't.

I know, but I have a fake reputation to uphold.

And I hate it, but giving up my personal life is just one

of the sacrifices I have to make.

Oh, sacrifice, huh?

A party with the "cool crowd" is a sacrifice?

Oh, it was beyond torture.

I'll see you guys later.

[sneaking music plays]

Harriet: Reasons Golly is up to something:

Mysterious appointments, late night excursions,

and Coop... All the talking with Coop about his proposal.

Housekeeping!

Hey!

Don't be stingy with those little chocolates

on the pillow this time!

Oh, and speaking of pillows, I've asked for an extra one

about a million times now.

Any sign of that, yet?

Ja!

Pillow is gut, ja!

Danke schein!

Bonne nuit!

Gung hay fat choy!

Hey!

Wait.

[school bell rings]

Rachel: You have his autograph? !

Marion: How do you know it's his autograph?

Hello? It matches the one on my poster.

Marion: Then it's easy to forge.

Rachel: Oh, come on!

Marion: It's a fake, Harriet, just like you.

Rachel: Don't listen to her, Harriet.

We believe you.

Beth Ellen: We absolutely live for your blog.

The only thing worse than being Marion Hawthorne,

is wanting to be Marion Hawthorne.

Skander: Ugh!

Headquarters, this is Jake Jones. ..

Director: Cut! Cut!

What is happening?

Ah ha!

Hi.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Six, seven, eight.

Five...

[counting under his breath]

Oh no!

Skander: Okay, listen to me. I'm being followed.

Sol: Of course you are. You're hot.

Sol, this is serious, man.

It's like I'm being spied on.

You know, Skander, I'm proud of you, kid.

Happy and proud that you're finally getting into this part

and taking it seriously.

I knew you'd come around.

That is the magic of method acting.

[sol's phone rings]

Hold that thought, I'm right with you.

Yeah. Wow me.

What do you mean you're his assistant?

I don't have time to talk to assistants!

You get him on the line, you get him on the line now.

Assistants...

Okay...

Okay, what do I do?

Harriet: I mean, the guy has no life.

All he does is work.

If I wasn't having so much fun, I'd actually feel sorry for him.

And the entry hits are off the chart.

I think people have forgotten Marion's writing at all!

Everyone's reading mine.

What's wrong?

Sport and I have discussed this.

Discussed what?

You.

We're starting to question your loyalties.

You've changed.

Excuse me?

You fraternize with the enemy and you enjoy it.

Don't deny it.

It's gross.

All you do is hang out with Marion and her clones and

slobber on and on about Skander.

It's like you're obsessed with him!

You're just as bad as all the other Skandroids.

Our friendship's completely and totally compromised!

You're just jealous because my blog's popular.

I'm popular!

Ha! Jealous? Of you? You're a traitor!

Skander: Okay, do it. Go!

Harriet: At least I'm achieving my goals, writing for the blog

and bringing down an undeserving teen idol.

What are you doing?

Pointless experiments?

And how 'bout you?

Reading about a sport you stink at?

You're both such fakes and finks! Get out!

Gladly!

[glass shatters, huge explosion]

Oh! Oh! Oh no! Oh no!

[panicky grunts]

Skander: I don't care what you think!

I'm being followed.

Roger: Okay.

And yesterday someone tried to blow me up!

-What? -Yeah!

So someone needs to start caring about this - fast!

And someone needs to start caring about me!

Roger: Oh, Skander, of course we care.

The entire crew cares.

Everybody cares, baby.

And you know, we also care about getting this film done.

So what do you say?

Tough spy time?

Okay, Skander, this is your big song.

All right?

I want you to bring it home.

Now, Lisa's just dumped you 'cause she feels

she can't trust you.

But you can't tell her the truth about your secret agent status,

so you're frustrated, really frustrated.

You with me?

Yeah.

More than you know.

Amazing!

I really want to feel that frustration, okay?

You're angry, you're tense.

Frustration should just be oozing out of every pore.

And... Action!

♪ ♪

[air horn blasts] Cut!

That's lunch, people!

Sorry, Skander!

What?

Sol: You were awesome out there, kiddo!

Awesome!

Roger: Lookin' good, Skander.

I'm serious about this.

Oh, and it shows, my friend.

You have really been delivering.

No! I'm serious about being followed, okay?

You have to do something.

Put the police on it if you have to!

Okay, let's just take a step back here.

Let's... Let's breathe deeply.

You're not listening to me!

Will somebody listen to me?

Poppy: Geez, Skander, this whole prima donna act is kinda

getting old, don't you think?

And speaking of thinking, you might wanna think about

laying off the carbs.

Well, Poppy, maybe you should think about laying

off the bad acting.

Oh my gosh, pops.

I'm so sorry.

I didn't mean to.

Tim: No, it was me.

It was him.

What were you thinking?

Okay, that's the way you wanna play?

Then let's play.

Skander and crew: Ohhh!

[food splatters, cast and crew laugh and scream]

Tim: Security! We're under attack!

Roger: Who pays the bills?

Me!

That's enough!

Enough!

Enough!

Vi: So that's all he did?

Start a food fight?

No, no, no.

The guy is unhinged.

I mean, now he's going on about someone trying to blow him up.

Anyway, Sol says he's method acting,

but no-no-no-no-no-no, let me tell you,

this guy has completely lost it.

And now.

.. Now he says he's not gonna go out anymore.

No, no. No more public appearances.

He's only gonna go to the closed set.

Oh man.

Thank goodness we don't have anymore locations to shoot.

So he's not going anywhere?

He's only shooting in the studio?

Yeah.

How am I supposed to...

Vi: To what, sweetie?

Where's Golly going?

She must have plans.

She can't be your nanny 24/7, Harriet.

You've barely touched your dinner!

[giggles] I remember when I had my first crush,

I couldn't eat either.

I'm afraid our darling daughter has it bad for Skylar Hole.

Skander Hill?

Exactly.

Harriet: I've spent so much time following strangers,

writing about their lives.

What if all this time I've been watching the wrong people?

Oh, hey, Coop! How ya doing?

Harriet: Maybe I should've been learning more about the people

I think I know the most.

Golly: Hey! How are ya?

Good to see you. How're you doing? Good? Yeah? Okay.

Harriet?

Harriet! Uh... I'll be right back.

Golly: Harriet!

Harriet, stop!

What were you doing there?

It's none of your business.

I can't even imagine why you were spying on me

in the first place!

Me of all people!

Well, I'm starting to realize the people I love the most are

the ones with all the secrets.

Don't be so melodramatic.

Harriet: So what were you doing there?

Are you gonna be Coop's new nanny?

Of course not!

That's ridiculous!

Harriet: Then answer the question.

What were you doing with Coop?

I've seen you two together everywhere.

What?

Harriet: I've seen you hugging at Book Scoop,

talking on the telephone, and now you're at his house?

What's going on?

Is Coop your boyfriend?

No, Harriet, now this is going too far.

Well, then what?

Why won't you just tell me?

It's me!

We tell each other everything!

[sighs] I didn't want to tell you this way.

You've clearly given me no choice.

Harriet, I... I'm leaving.

What?

I'm leaving.

How can you even think about leaving?

And for Coop?

No, I'm not leaving for Coop, sweetheart.

I... I'm buying book Scoop.

You're what?

You can't do this!

You can't leave!

I won't let you!

Harriet, don't.

Golly's leaving.

Harriet, please.

You're leaving?

Vi... [stammers] I didn't want you to find out this way.

I can explain.

Vi: Just like that, you're up and leaving?

Golly, I'm stunned.

How inconsiderate.

How...? Roger!

Vi, it's not like I'm leaving this instant.

But you are leaving?

Roger: Who's leaving?

Vi: Golly is.

Golly: Roger, I can explain.

Without a word of warning.

With no thought to us at all.

I can't believe it!

Roger: Okay, calm down, everybody.

Let's talk this out.

Vi: How do you expect us to manage?

Roger: Vi... Vi, breathe! Breathe! Vi.

Golly: Harriet!

Vi: [teary breaths]

All right, you say you know Skander Hill personally

and you're not just making everything up from your

silly little head.

So, I'm sure it won't be hard for you to prove it once

and for all, right?

Sound fair?

And how do you suppose I do that, Marion,

to your satisfaction, huh?

You'll figure it out.

And if you don't, I'll tell Ms. Elson your blogs have been

nothing but one big lie.

[sighs heavily]

Vi: I'm worried about her.

She's taking the whole Golly thing really hard.

Roger: I know, I know, and I wish I could think about that

right now.

Vi: Well, somebody has to.

Roger: Well, then... You worry about it for both of us.

We've got the biggest production number

of the entire movie tomorrow.

A huge singing and dancing extravaganza.

I've got to cope with an unravelling male lead and a

hundred crazy teenage extras.

What am I gonna do?

♪ ♪

Director: What're you doing here?

You should be in holding.

I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be here, but jail,

it seems a little...

No, the extras holding area,

where all the dancers are?

Come on.

[set bell rings]

Director: [giving unclear direction to to extras]

All right, positions!

Let's try and make this work, people!

A little more concentration would be nice.

Let's get a little focus here, people!

Cue playback!

And... Action!

♪ Let's hit the road ♪

♪ now don't you know we're gonna move ahead ♪

♪ Let's hit the road it's time to go ♪

♪ are you hearing just what I said ♪

♪ Let's hit the road now don't you know ♪

♪ We gonna, gonna move ahead ♪

♪ Let's hit the road it's time to go ♪

♪ are you hearing just what I said ♪

♪ All aboard let's get it together ♪

♪ It's time to play it smart ♪

♪ even though we're leaving here ♪

♪ we'll never be apart ♪

♪ Our trip was fun ♪

♪ we learned a lot about each other and ourselves ♪

♪ and now we know that friendship rules ♪

♪ that's a lesson we wanna take ♪

♪ We're saying goodbye ♪

♪ but it's hello to the future ♪

♪ Oh who knows what's waiting around the next bend ♪

♪ we're saying goodbye ♪

♪ but it's hello to the future ♪

♪ The future is ours and it's all about ♪

♪ it's all about friends ♪

Director: Cut!

♪ everybody now ♪

What's going on here?

Would someone please answer that question?

Skander: You.

I know you!

Skander, hi.

I've actually been wanting to introduce myself.

My father's- you're that creepy kid that's been spying on me.

Who are you, huh?

And what do you want?

I am so sick and tired of crazy fans thinking they know me, that

they're in love with me, that they can't live without me!

I hate it!

I hate them, and you!

You think you can know everything about someone

just by following them around!

You don't know me!

You don't know anything!

What're you doing? Get this off of me!

Will someone get her?

Get her!

Security!

We pay you for a reason, don't we?

What is this?

Vi: Harriet M. Welsch, I have been frantic!

Where have you been?

Why didn't you answer your cell phone?

What're you wearing?

I found this in your room.

It's Skander Hill's schedule, isn't it?

Harriet: The one time she gets his name right.

Harriet, are you obsessed with this young man?

No!

Well, I think you are.

Perhaps so obsessed you're even shutting out your friends.

I ran into Janie's mom at a huts for the homeless event today and

she said you girls aren't even talking.

I thought it was a harmless little crush, but this is taking

it way too far, Harriet.

Now, as your mother I know you, and--

No! You don't know me.

You've never known me!

You don't know anything!

Harriet!

[school bell rings]

Hey, guys. Look, I just want to...

It's Monday.

Where's your proof?

[scoffs] I told you she couldn't deliver.

Because it's all a big lie.

She's a big lie.

Why're you doing this to me?

I'm not doing it to you, Harriet.

I've always dreamt of owning my own book store.

Since when?

You never told me.

Golly: People are allowed to have secrets, Harriet.

Even best friends.

You said that you wouldn't leave until we both knew it was time

for you to go.

Well, I found out for myself that I didn't need you!

[sighs] Harriet, I...

[sighs heavily]

♪ looking at this family tree ♪

♪ the branches wearing thin ♪

♪ and when the drifting shows its face ♪

♪ that's when the mending shall begin ♪

♪ we will grieve in parted ways ♪

but I do need you.

♪ and without a goodbye ♪

♪ and we may send a card to show we care ♪

♪ that's just another way to cry ♪

♪ so hang on brother now ♪

♪ hang on sister now ♪

♪ we're all okay ♪

♪ no I say ♪

♪ hang on brother now ♪

♪ hang on sister now ♪

♪ we're all okay ♪

You, I know you!

[clip fast forwards]

I am so sick and tired of crazy fans thinking they know me, that

they're in love with me, that they can't live without me!

I hate it!

I hate them!

[computer beeps]

You... I know you...

Roger: I don't believe this!

What?

What's wrong?

[Roger hyperventilates]

TV Host: A video from the set of "Spy Teen two the sequel"

leaked on the internet.

Devastated Skandroids from around the world react.

Could this spell the end of this former heartthrobs career?

What is happening?

[doorbell dings]

Vi: Why doesn't someone answer that?

I haven't had time to even dress!

[doorbell dings]

I will never, never forgive Golly for abandoning us!

Skander: I am so sick and tired of crazy fans thinking

they know me, that they're in love with me,

that they can't live without me!

I hate it!

No, Skander!

Harriet: Marion!

Skander: I know you.

No, no, no!

Yes?

[gasps] oh!

Sol: Where's Roger? Come on.

[reporters shout overlapping questions]

Smile!

Reporters: Skander!

[cameras click]

Marion, how could you do it?

It was meant for the blog, not the entire world!

Marion: Well, that's why you posted it

in the first place, right?

To make all us Skander fans feel like idiots for liking him.

I was just giving you a little added boost.

You should be thanking me.

But it wasn't his fault! I...

You what?

I...

Marion: I'm bored with this conversation.

[phone beeps off]

Sol: You're responsible, Welsch!

Do you hear me?

Roger: Sol, calm down. Calm down, calm down.

Sol: You promised my client top-notch security and yet

somehow this girl gets onto a closed set.

As an extra no less!

Skander: You're the producer.

How could this leak out, huh?

Roger: I.

Skander: I didn't even mean what I said.

I love you, babe.

But I'm gonna sue you right into the ground!

Look, guys, guys.

I'm on your team.

Okay? Okay, there's gotta be a solution to this.

So why don't we go to my office, we'll look at the rushes.

If it was one of the extras, we'll find her.

Sol: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Roger: Okay? Okay.

Okay, so this extra, she followed you?

She tried to blow you up? What? What? What?

I already told you.

She was in my hotel room, she was at the park, the restaurant.

She's everywhere I go.

I can't believe you didn't take Skander seriously

on this one, Roger.

Not to worry, Sol, I am gonna get to the bottom of this.

I promise you, we're gonna find out who that kid is.

You'd better, or Skander's done and the picture'll be done, too.

Don't think he doesn't have other offers.

Guys, I'll recognize her in a minute, okay? Anything?

♪ now don't you know ♪

♪ we're gonna. .. Gonna move ahead ♪

♪ let's hit the road. .. ♪

[dramatic music plays]

Wait. That's her! That's her, I know it!

Where did you get that picture?

Oh, uh.

How do you know her?

[stammering for words] Roger?

Skander, look.

What is going on here?

How could you know her?

No.

Sol: Kid, hey! Hey!

-It's her! -What?

-It's her! -Roger, talk. Explain.

Skander Hill, meet Harriet Welsch.

.. My daughter.

Oh, I am done!

This movie is done!

Do you hear me, Roger?

It's done!

Roger: We're gonna work it all out. Guys! Guys? !

Expect a call from our lawyers, Roger!

No, Sol, no lawyers!

Sol: Yes, lawyers!

Roger: Sol! Skander!

What is going on?

We need to talk.

Why?

Is your mother right?

Are you obsessed with this guy?

No! He's an idiot!

But nobody else seemed to see it, so I tried to show them.

Harriet!

I mean even the most overpaid, egotistical little fink

in the world still deserves his own privacy.

What got into you?

I never meant it to go this far.

Marion's the one who posted it all over the internet.

I just did it for the blog.

Just the blog.

What blog?

The class blog, I'm writing it.

At least I was.

You are?

Well, you never told me that.

Well, you never asked.

You!

We need to talk!

I think I left something running in the kitchen.

Vi.

What was I paying you for while my daughter was hanging around

hotel rooms with scooter heel.

Skander Hill?

Exactly!

Following him all over the city.

You were hired to take care of Harriet

and this is what happens?

Do you call that doing your job?

All of this happened on your watch, Golly!

It happened on your watch too, Mrs. Welsch.

You are Harriet's mother.

These are good, Harriet.

These are better than half the scripts I read.

Really?

Thanks.

Yeah, but... This thing with Skander.

I mean this thing has, ugh.

It has caused a lot of problems.

I know.

And I want to fix it, honestly.

If there's anything I can do to just.

I just... At this point, I, I just don't think there is.

Then it's all my fault.

I'm sorry, dad. I really am.

No, no, it's okay, it's okay. It's gonna be...

It's gonna be fine.

I just gotta make some phone calls.

Excuse me.

I used to like to write.

"fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. "

William Wordsworth.

What's wrong?

Golly.

She used to do that, you know, with the quotes.

Oh, honey, I know you miss her.

I'm so sorry.

But I want you to know.

I mean, I'm... I'm no Golly.

But I am your mom

and I love you.

And we are gonna get through this together, okay?

Okay.

I'm, uh, surprised to see you here.

It's Tuesday.

Look, Harriet, I know you're angry with me for leaving,

but I couldn't pass up this opportunity.

And despite what you might think,

you really don't need me anymore.

You're all grown up.

Obviously not.

[chuckles] Well, you're getting there,

and I think we both know what you need to do.

Okay, so, I have to ask.

Why would you, Harriet M. Welsch,

seeker of truth in all things, go to such great lengths to

keep the myth of the so-called Skander friendship alive?

I mean, did you really infiltrate the set and dance

in one of those big production numbers?

Yeah.

[laughs] oh, Harriet, you can't dance!

I know.

[laughs] "I am a woman who enjoys herself very much;

sometimes I lose, sometimes I win. "

Do you know who said that?

I don't know.

Mata Hari.

The second greatest spy in the world.

Golly: Aw, I missed you.

Harriet: I missed you, too.

[gym whistle blows]

Coach: Wait for it... Good!

Hustle back, people, hustle back.

Harriet: Hey, guys.

Why aren't you out there?

They haven't put me in yet, okay?

Probably won't.

Besides, what do you care?

Okay, I get it.

I was an idiot.

I'm sorry.

I guess I got sucked into the whole being popular thing.

Hmph.

That's an understatement.

Harriet: Look, I don't even know who I became.

But whoever she was, she wasn't a good friend.

No, she wasn't.

All right, we forgive you.

Right, Sport?

[cheerleaders chant]

Janie: Okay, now that that's out of the way, you have got to give

us all the gory details about set that day.

I mean, how cool is it that you got Skander Hill

to completely lose his marbles?

Yeah, if cool means ruining your father's

career, bringing a movie star to the brink of insanity,

and losing a blog you've been coveting your whole life,

then yeah... It was pretty cool.

You really think you lost the blog?

How could I not?

Marion's reign of evil lives - ugh!

- and now I have to go apologize to Skander.

My dad asked me to.

And the worst part of it is, I know he's right.

Coach: You're up, sport.

You're in!

Let me see what you got!

Sport: Uh.

Harriet and Janie: Go!

[cheerleaders cheer]

[whistle blows]

♪ I built my soul on rock and roll ♪

♪ then someone told me the kids don't rock no more ♪

♪ Oh! ♪

♪ Oh! Oh! Oh! ♪

♪ It's time to win ♪

♪ I built my soul on rock and roll ♪

Come on, Sport! You can do it!

♪ then someone told me the kids don't rock no more ♪

♪ Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! ♪

♪ Keep it up for me, keep it, keep it up for me ♪

♪ Keep it up for me, keep it, keep it up for me ♪

♪ Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! ♪

Coach: Very nice, very nice.

[cheers and applause] Woo! Go sport!

Skander... I'm truly,

very seriously sorry for the suffering

I've caused you.

I never meant to make you crazy, or to hurt your career.

I'm just begging you, from the bottom of my heart,

please finish the film.

[sighs] Okay, um.

I'll tell you what.

I'll continue with the movie, but only if you stop writing

that blog of yours.

Stop writing?

Yup.

I...

Skander, 1; Harriet, 0.

Well?

Okay... It's a deal.

Roger: No. No, no it isn't!

Harriet... You're a writer.

It's what you do. You're darn good at it.

No one should ever, ever be able to tell you otherwise.

Not anyone.

So, I... I'm sorry, Skander, I... I can't allow it.

Okay.

Wow, Roger, you know, that's really admirable of you.

Such a sweet moment, truly.

And um.

I quit.

Nice Roger.

[Sol's phone rings] Yeah.

Dad! I'm not gonna let you lose this movie.

Roger: No! No, it's fine!

Harriet, there are other movie stars!

Harriet!

Reporters: They're coming out again!

Skander! Skander! Over here!

See? She does know him.

She was telling the truth the whole time.

It's only because her father's the producer.

You still can't convince me that Harriet's best friends

with Skander Hill.

[loud buzz of chatter, cameras click]

That was the director.

They saw the video.

No! Ugh! I'm dead!

Sol: No!

They loved it!

They didn't think you had that much anger in you.

The director, he had a change of heart.

You're perfect for the role!

Yeah!

Sol: This next movie's gonna change your life!

Ah Man!

Skander: We did it!

We?

Well yeah!

This is all because of you!

Amazing!

And Roger, we're back on track.

Thanks, man.

Okay.

"All's well that ends well. "

William Shakespeare.

Reporters: Skander!

Hey, buddy!

Skander!

We were supposed to have our vote today on the class blog,

but in light of recent events, there's been a change of plans.

I've decided there will be no class blog this year.

Frankly, I see no other choice.

Ms. Elson, that's so unfair!

Ms. Elson: Marion, you violated the privacy of the Westview

school blog by posting entries publicly on the internet.

Do you honestly think I could hand this over to you

in good conscience?

Ms. Elson?

Yes.

I'd still like to vote for Harriet.

If that's all right.

Shut it, Beth Ellen!

No one cares!

Well I do!

So there!

And I second it!

And I definitely third it!

Ms. Elson: Well, in the interest of democracy.

Harriet, it looks like you've got yourself a blog.

[laughs]

Golly said, "if you do not tell the truth about yourself,

you can't tell it about others."

She was right.

♪ ♪