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1
00:00:01,836 --> 00:00:04,806
[mellow orchestral music]
2
00:00:04,939 --> 00:00:10,079
♪ ♪
3
00:00:10,112 --> 00:00:13,282
[cheerful guitar music]
4
00:00:13,315 --> 00:00:15,825
♪ ♪
5
00:00:15,851 --> 00:00:19,491
[door creaks]
6
00:00:19,271 --> 00:00:21,021
- Hey, Cory.
7
00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:22,240
- Hey, Christian.
8
00:00:22,374 --> 00:00:24,444
- Hey, you're not coming
to Raging Waters with us
9
00:00:24,576 --> 00:00:25,906
to beat the heat?
10
00:00:25,944 --> 00:00:27,164
- Oh, no I'm gonna stay home
and beat it here.
11
00:00:27,179 --> 00:00:28,849
What's on your mind?
12
00:00:28,981 --> 00:00:31,881
- I don't think Donny should
come with us to Raging Waters.
13
00:00:31,951 --> 00:00:33,551
- Christian,
14
00:00:33,586 --> 00:00:35,716
Donny bought
a season pass months ago.
15
00:00:35,754 --> 00:00:37,664
Why would you say that?
16
00:00:37,690 --> 00:00:39,220
- Okay, so...
17
00:00:39,257 --> 00:00:40,967
I was coming home from
the grocery store yesterday
18
00:00:40,993 --> 00:00:42,703
and I saw Donny
in the courtyard.
19
00:00:42,728 --> 00:00:44,138
He was wearing a yellow shirt
20
00:00:44,164 --> 00:00:46,764
with a thermal turtleneck
underneath.
21
00:00:46,799 --> 00:00:48,799
He went to take
the yellow shirt off
22
00:00:48,933 --> 00:00:51,073
but he didn't hold
the thermal turtleneck down
23
00:00:51,103 --> 00:00:53,743
and it rolled up for a second.
24
00:00:53,772 --> 00:00:56,572
And I saw his stomach.
25
00:00:56,609 --> 00:00:59,609
I think that Donny has, uh...
26
00:00:59,744 --> 00:01:02,414
- He has what?
27
00:01:02,547 --> 00:01:05,117
- A six-pack.
28
00:01:05,250 --> 00:01:06,680
- Oh, dear.
29
00:01:06,719 --> 00:01:08,289
- If he goes
to Raging Waters like that,
30
00:01:08,420 --> 00:01:11,020
and he takes his shirt off,
31
00:01:11,156 --> 00:01:14,586
he's gonna make everyone there
feel bad about their bodies.
32
00:01:14,627 --> 00:01:18,497
[whispering]
I mean, imagine if Frankie saw.
33
00:01:18,630 --> 00:01:20,180
- [muttering] Get my belly more.
34
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:21,240
Hey, what's up, Christian.
35
00:01:21,266 --> 00:01:22,896
- Hey, Frankie.
36
00:01:23,035 --> 00:01:25,395
- Yeah, I'm wondering if maybe
what you saw wasn't abs
37
00:01:25,537 --> 00:01:29,607
so much as maybe, uh, shadows
being cast from the tree
38
00:01:29,642 --> 00:01:31,162
or maybe a bird flying by
or something.
39
00:01:31,276 --> 00:01:32,736
- Maybe.
40
00:01:32,877 --> 00:01:35,107
Or maybe he's jacked
to the gills.
41
00:01:36,781 --> 00:01:37,921
- Hey, what's up, guys?
42
00:01:37,950 --> 00:01:39,220
- Oh, my God.
He's right there.
43
00:01:39,251 --> 00:01:42,851
[dramatic music]
44
00:01:42,988 --> 00:01:44,958
- [softly] Oh, fuck.
45
00:01:45,758 --> 00:01:47,228
- What are y'all staring at?
46
00:01:48,893 --> 00:01:50,263
[crickets chirping]
47
00:01:50,395 --> 00:01:51,855
- I don't know
how this happened.
48
00:01:51,997 --> 00:01:53,677
You know I wouldn't
wanna make people
49
00:01:53,699 --> 00:01:54,739
feel bad about their bodies,
right Cor?
50
00:01:54,767 --> 00:01:56,207
- I know.
51
00:01:56,236 --> 00:01:58,236
[knocking]
52
00:01:58,270 --> 00:01:59,700
- Hey, Dr. DeMorris.
53
00:01:59,738 --> 00:02:02,568
- I got here
as quickly as I could.
54
00:02:02,707 --> 00:02:05,707
I'm just gonna go
underneath here.
55
00:02:05,744 --> 00:02:07,214
Just on the doorstep,
that's all.
56
00:02:07,245 --> 00:02:08,405
- [wheezes slightly]
57
00:02:08,547 --> 00:02:11,217
- I'd like to try and feel...
58
00:02:11,249 --> 00:02:14,349
Sure.
59
00:02:14,486 --> 00:02:19,316
Sure.
60
00:02:19,358 --> 00:02:20,488
[sighs]
61
00:02:20,625 --> 00:02:22,025
That's not a...
62
00:02:22,060 --> 00:02:23,400
That's not a six-pack.
That's an eight-pack.
63
00:02:23,428 --> 00:02:24,628
[dramatic chord]
64
00:02:24,763 --> 00:02:25,603
It's even got the V-things
65
00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:27,700
run into the...
66
00:02:27,832 --> 00:02:30,632
into the pelvic region, it's...
67
00:02:30,769 --> 00:02:32,749
Abercrombie abs.
68
00:02:32,772 --> 00:02:34,142
- Mm.
69
00:02:34,273 --> 00:02:35,973
- Brad Pitt had them
in "Fight Club."
70
00:02:36,008 --> 00:02:37,908
- Damn it.
How could this have happened?
71
00:02:38,043 --> 00:02:39,943
I mean,
it's not like we eat right.
72
00:02:39,978 --> 00:02:41,608
- Have you been doing crunches?
73
00:02:41,746 --> 00:02:42,846
- No.
- Been planking?
74
00:02:42,881 --> 00:02:44,381
Reverse planking? Pilates?
75
00:02:44,516 --> 00:02:45,946
- Aw, hell no.
76
00:02:45,984 --> 00:02:47,264
- If you have, just tell us,
sport, it's okay.
77
00:02:47,286 --> 00:02:48,826
- No. Nothing.
78
00:02:48,854 --> 00:02:50,774
- Donny may have
a freakish metabolism.
79
00:02:50,790 --> 00:02:52,110
- [scoffs]
Oh, great. I'm a freak.
80
00:02:52,223 --> 00:02:54,273
Guess I can't go
to Raging Waters this summer.
81
00:02:54,294 --> 00:02:57,934
Heck, I got no chance
at beating the heat.
82
00:02:58,063 --> 00:03:00,033
- [sigh]
83
00:03:00,099 --> 00:03:02,029
- Wait, I know what I can do.
84
00:03:02,101 --> 00:03:04,541
If we don't want people
to see my abs,
85
00:03:04,669 --> 00:03:05,969
I'll wear a shirt in the water.
86
00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,310
- Donny, you remember
the wet T-shirt contest
87
00:03:10,342 --> 00:03:12,242
at Frankie's 35th?
88
00:03:12,377 --> 00:03:14,707
Well, those wet T-shirts
didn't exactly
89
00:03:14,747 --> 00:03:16,377
hide those gross bodies,
90
00:03:16,415 --> 00:03:17,375
did they?
91
00:03:17,416 --> 00:03:18,846
- No.
92
00:03:18,984 --> 00:03:20,954
They accentuated them.
93
00:03:21,754 --> 00:03:23,204
- Look, let's not give up hope.
94
00:03:23,222 --> 00:03:24,962
There are things that we can do.
95
00:03:25,090 --> 00:03:27,220
I'll come back tomorrow
with a plan and a regimen.
96
00:03:27,259 --> 00:03:30,029
In the meantime,
don't move a muscle.
97
00:03:30,062 --> 00:03:31,162
- Okay.
98
00:03:31,296 --> 00:03:33,326
[water trickling]
99
00:03:33,365 --> 00:03:34,325
- Get him!
100
00:03:34,366 --> 00:03:36,396
- [yelling]
101
00:03:36,435 --> 00:03:37,705
[giggling]
102
00:03:37,737 --> 00:03:39,667
- Now, the key here is gonna be
103
00:03:39,804 --> 00:03:41,944
tons of calories in,
zero calories out.
104
00:03:41,974 --> 00:03:45,744
Ah, I have written here
a list of foods
105
00:03:45,778 --> 00:03:47,548
I want you to feed him.
106
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:51,020
- Cheeseburgers, milkshakes...
Okay, yeah, we can do that.
107
00:03:51,049 --> 00:03:52,889
- Be sure you go
to Tom's Burgers.
108
00:03:52,918 --> 00:03:54,348
They're very, very fatty.
109
00:03:54,386 --> 00:03:56,056
And they will give you a
discount if you order in bulk.
110
00:03:56,088 --> 00:03:57,728
- It doesn't sound so bad,
does it, pal?
111
00:03:57,757 --> 00:03:59,197
- That takes care
of the calories in.
112
00:03:59,324 --> 00:04:02,164
As for calories out,
moving burns calories,
113
00:04:02,227 --> 00:04:04,727
so no moving.
114
00:04:04,863 --> 00:04:07,633
[depressing music]
115
00:04:07,766 --> 00:04:11,866
♪ ♪
116
00:04:11,904 --> 00:04:13,754
[muffled whoops]
117
00:04:13,773 --> 00:04:15,323
- Ah!
- Oh!
118
00:04:15,341 --> 00:04:16,291
- Get him again!
119
00:04:16,309 --> 00:04:17,639
[laughter]
120
00:04:17,776 --> 00:04:23,646
♪ ♪
121
00:04:23,782 --> 00:04:25,282
- Hey, come on, man!
122
00:04:25,317 --> 00:04:26,717
[laughter]
123
00:04:28,753 --> 00:04:31,523
[mellow guitar music]
124
00:04:31,656 --> 00:04:33,456
- Oh. Here we go.
125
00:04:33,492 --> 00:04:34,732
- Ah.
- Down the hatch.
126
00:04:34,859 --> 00:04:36,689
Oh... get it.
There we go.
127
00:04:36,829 --> 00:04:38,029
Get in there.
- [muffled] Okay.
128
00:04:38,463 --> 00:04:39,533
- [squeaks]
129
00:04:39,664 --> 00:04:40,904
Ooh, squirt me, homey.
130
00:04:40,933 --> 00:04:42,203
Squirt me, homey.
131
00:04:42,334 --> 00:04:43,474
[laughs]
132
00:04:43,502 --> 00:04:47,872
♪ ♪
133
00:04:47,906 --> 00:04:48,936
- [grunts and laughs]
134
00:04:49,074 --> 00:04:50,414
- I want this one finished
135
00:04:50,442 --> 00:04:53,412
before you go to bed, all right?
136
00:04:53,445 --> 00:04:54,775
What are you tweeting?
137
00:04:54,913 --> 00:04:56,453
- My body is wack.
- Why?
138
00:04:56,581 --> 00:04:58,331
- 'Cause it's the truth
and the truth resonates
139
00:04:58,350 --> 00:04:59,930
and it's gonna get
about 400-500 retweets.
140
00:04:59,952 --> 00:05:01,862
- That's not true.
141
00:05:01,887 --> 00:05:05,367
The only thing wack around here
right now is your attitude.
142
00:05:05,391 --> 00:05:08,131
- Checkmate.
143
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:09,630
- Donny, we made you a cake.
144
00:05:09,762 --> 00:05:12,162
- Aww. "Get fat soon!"
145
00:05:12,231 --> 00:05:13,901
- Thanks, Frank.
Thanks, Kevin.
146
00:05:13,932 --> 00:05:15,082
- Check it out.
I'm Donny. I'm Donny.
147
00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:16,500
Check it out. Boom.
148
00:05:16,535 --> 00:05:17,875
- [laughs]
- All right, that's enough.
149
00:05:17,903 --> 00:05:19,313
If you make him laugh,
150
00:05:19,338 --> 00:05:22,138
you're just gonna
make those abs stronger.
151
00:05:22,174 --> 00:05:24,244
Last one, let's make it count,
make a little noise.
152
00:05:24,376 --> 00:05:26,036
- Higher.
- What? Oh, all right.
153
00:05:26,078 --> 00:05:27,548
One, two, three, here we go.
154
00:05:27,580 --> 00:05:28,580
- Oh.
- Ohh.
155
00:05:28,681 --> 00:05:30,881
[remote beeping]
156
00:05:31,015 --> 00:05:31,945
- Oh, bup-bup-bup,
157
00:05:31,984 --> 00:05:34,094
comedies bring calories, pal.
158
00:05:34,219 --> 00:05:36,219
Let's watch
"Billion Dollar Baby."
159
00:05:37,355 --> 00:05:40,255
"We had Kobe,
who was a fearsome competitor.
160
00:05:40,325 --> 00:05:42,685
"He didn't get along with Shaq,
but that was okay
161
00:05:42,827 --> 00:05:43,827
"because we were winning.
162
00:05:43,928 --> 00:05:44,858
Winning soothes everything."
163
00:05:44,897 --> 00:05:50,027
♪ ♪
164
00:05:52,938 --> 00:05:55,908
[mellow music]
165
00:05:55,941 --> 00:05:58,411
♪ ♪
166
00:05:58,444 --> 00:06:01,994
- Well,
let us see if it's, uh...
167
00:06:02,014 --> 00:06:05,554
If it's still shredded in here.
168
00:06:05,684 --> 00:06:08,724
- You know,
I had a dream last night, Doc.
169
00:06:08,854 --> 00:06:12,474
I dreamt that my abs
were like waffles.
170
00:06:12,491 --> 00:06:16,131
And each square of the waffle
represented a different ab.
171
00:06:16,161 --> 00:06:18,161
And all the food
I've been eating lately
172
00:06:18,296 --> 00:06:22,296
was like syrup filling
in each square of my waffle.
173
00:06:22,434 --> 00:06:25,604
Until finally,
they were all full.
174
00:06:25,637 --> 00:06:28,507
And my stomach was flat.
175
00:06:28,540 --> 00:06:30,340
Like a pancake.
176
00:06:32,744 --> 00:06:34,184
- Look, I'm not gonna
177
00:06:34,312 --> 00:06:35,522
waste my time
if you don't want the help.
178
00:06:35,547 --> 00:06:36,977
- What are you talking about?
179
00:06:37,115 --> 00:06:39,015
- You're making
a mockery of this.
180
00:06:39,051 --> 00:06:40,721
You vain, vain boy.
- What?
181
00:06:40,752 --> 00:06:42,752
- What have you been doing?
Planks?
182
00:06:42,888 --> 00:06:44,558
Reverse planks?
183
00:06:44,590 --> 00:06:46,120
CrossFit?
184
00:06:46,158 --> 00:06:47,538
- No.
185
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:49,290
- Wait,
so he didn't lose the abs?
186
00:06:49,361 --> 00:06:50,971
- If anything, his V-things
are more pronounced.
187
00:06:50,996 --> 00:06:51,996
- [whispers I knew it.
188
00:06:52,130 --> 00:06:53,500
- I didn't do anything
189
00:06:53,632 --> 00:06:55,012
except for what you
told me to do, Doc.
190
00:06:55,034 --> 00:06:56,114
I mean, I'm doing the work.
191
00:06:56,135 --> 00:06:57,325
- Face it.
192
00:06:57,369 --> 00:06:59,239
He's jacked
and he always will be.
193
00:06:59,271 --> 00:07:01,041
- Maybe we should've made
a bigger cake.
194
00:07:01,073 --> 00:07:04,453
- Guess I'll just stay inside
and beat the heat with Cory.
195
00:07:04,477 --> 00:07:06,047
Forever.
196
00:07:06,078 --> 00:07:08,458
[dramatic music]
197
00:07:08,481 --> 00:07:10,921
- Well,
198
00:07:11,049 --> 00:07:13,049
we gotta get to Raging Waters.
199
00:07:13,085 --> 00:07:14,285
[exclaims]
200
00:07:17,389 --> 00:07:20,359
Back to check on you
in a week or so, I suppose.
201
00:07:21,526 --> 00:07:22,856
Keep up the good fight, buddy.
202
00:07:22,994 --> 00:07:24,304
- Thanks, Doc.
- Yeah.
203
00:07:24,430 --> 00:07:25,800
- See you guys later.
204
00:07:27,532 --> 00:07:29,032
- I'll fill up your feed bag,
okay?
205
00:07:29,167 --> 00:07:30,867
- Okay.
- Vanilla or chocolate?
206
00:07:31,002 --> 00:07:32,002
- Chocolate.
207
00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:33,173
- You got it.
208
00:07:36,274 --> 00:07:39,144
[mysterious music]
209
00:07:39,277 --> 00:07:43,247
♪ ♪
210
00:07:43,381 --> 00:07:45,781
[wrapper rustling]
211
00:07:48,954 --> 00:07:51,994
[plastic crinkling]
212
00:07:52,123 --> 00:07:54,963
- [mouths words]
213
00:07:55,093 --> 00:08:01,973
♪ ♪
214
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:03,430
[tapping]
215
00:08:03,502 --> 00:08:05,442
- It's almost feeding time, pal.
216
00:08:05,504 --> 00:08:08,124
You're gonna love this one.
217
00:08:08,141 --> 00:08:11,081
I made it extra thick.
218
00:08:14,246 --> 00:08:16,276
- [whispering]
219
00:08:16,915 --> 00:08:19,245
- Hey, Frank.
220
00:08:19,285 --> 00:08:21,645
Didn't know you were still here.
221
00:08:21,687 --> 00:08:23,567
- Hey, Cory.
222
00:08:23,589 --> 00:08:28,139
- Hey, Frank,
you mind giving us a minute?
223
00:08:28,161 --> 00:08:30,301
- All right.
224
00:08:31,663 --> 00:08:34,073
One love.
225
00:08:34,099 --> 00:08:37,069
- One love to you.
226
00:08:37,102 --> 00:08:39,652
All right, Donny, let's...
227
00:08:39,673 --> 00:08:42,243
Get your feed bag replaced here.
228
00:08:42,274 --> 00:08:46,044
All right.
229
00:08:46,178 --> 00:08:50,008
I'm just gonna hang this one
on this hook right here.
230
00:08:50,148 --> 00:08:51,348
There.
231
00:08:51,383 --> 00:08:52,823
[crinkling]
232
00:08:52,951 --> 00:08:55,191
[sigh]
233
00:08:55,220 --> 00:08:57,020
All right.
234
00:08:57,155 --> 00:08:59,125
Let's get this burger cut up
into little pieces for you.
235
00:08:59,157 --> 00:09:01,727
- What's in the burger, Cory?
236
00:09:01,860 --> 00:09:03,130
- Just the usual.
237
00:09:03,261 --> 00:09:05,701
Mustard, ketchup,
all-beef patty.
238
00:09:05,731 --> 00:09:09,141
- Oh, that's ketchup
and mustard, all right.
239
00:09:09,168 --> 00:09:10,198
But that ain't beef.
240
00:09:10,236 --> 00:09:11,766
- Oh.
241
00:09:11,803 --> 00:09:13,473
Well, maybe it looks like
a fish sandwich
242
00:09:13,505 --> 00:09:15,365
from where you are, but...
It's all beef.
243
00:09:15,407 --> 00:09:16,667
- Ah, drop the act, Cory.
244
00:09:16,708 --> 00:09:18,538
Frankie said
he saw you poisoning me
245
00:09:18,677 --> 00:09:20,777
with Muscle Milk and tofu,
he says.
246
00:09:20,812 --> 00:09:21,812
[scoffs]
247
00:09:21,947 --> 00:09:23,247
You know what I told him?
248
00:09:23,381 --> 00:09:25,701
I said, Frankie,
you must be trippin', dog.
249
00:09:25,719 --> 00:09:30,199
But he wasn't trippin',
was he, Cory?
250
00:09:30,223 --> 00:09:33,103
- [sighs] No.
251
00:09:33,126 --> 00:09:34,786
He wasn't trippin'.
252
00:09:34,826 --> 00:09:37,226
- Why?
253
00:09:37,263 --> 00:09:38,733
Why'd you do it?
254
00:09:39,965 --> 00:09:43,705
- [sighs]
255
00:09:43,737 --> 00:09:47,177
You know, every year,
it's the same thing.
256
00:09:47,206 --> 00:09:48,836
Everyone goes to Raging Waters,
257
00:09:48,874 --> 00:09:51,384
plays with their squirt guns,
Slip 'N Slides,
258
00:09:51,509 --> 00:09:54,209
while I'm alone
inside the house.
259
00:09:54,246 --> 00:09:55,656
- Why don't you just
come with us?
260
00:09:55,681 --> 00:09:57,661
I mean, you know
I'd buy you a ticket.
261
00:09:57,683 --> 00:09:59,023
- Because...
262
00:09:59,151 --> 00:10:02,521
Outside, I get hot.
263
00:10:02,654 --> 00:10:05,394
But inside, with the AC,
264
00:10:05,523 --> 00:10:07,493
I'm in control.
265
00:10:07,559 --> 00:10:09,389
Down to the degree.
266
00:10:09,527 --> 00:10:11,797
You know, I started
to help you at first.
267
00:10:11,930 --> 00:10:13,500
I really did.
268
00:10:13,566 --> 00:10:15,176
Got all the burgers
and shakes from Tom's,
269
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,100
just like Dr. DeMorris said,
but...
270
00:10:17,235 --> 00:10:19,295
Then I started...
271
00:10:19,437 --> 00:10:21,567
Started having fun.
272
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:23,180
Thought maybe I wouldn't
have to spend the summer
273
00:10:23,208 --> 00:10:25,038
all by myself.
274
00:10:25,177 --> 00:10:27,407
- [sighs] Well, I had fun too.
275
00:10:27,545 --> 00:10:30,375
But what you did wasn't right.
276
00:10:30,416 --> 00:10:32,476
- No, it wasn't.
277
00:10:32,618 --> 00:10:34,948
I'm sorry I poisoned you
with tofu and Muscle Milk.
278
00:10:34,987 --> 00:10:36,947
I'll start feeding you
burgers and shakes
279
00:10:36,989 --> 00:10:39,229
and you can go hang out with
your friends again in no time.
280
00:10:39,257 --> 00:10:42,337
- Mm, doesn't matter.
Summer's ruined.
281
00:10:42,361 --> 00:10:44,901
- Well, wait a second, eh, pal?
282
00:10:44,930 --> 00:10:46,260
What time is it?
283
00:10:46,298 --> 00:10:47,258
[door creaks]
284
00:10:47,299 --> 00:10:48,269
[strains]
285
00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:51,270
[mellow music]
286
00:10:51,303 --> 00:10:56,243
♪ ♪
287
00:10:56,374 --> 00:10:58,114
- What's the big idea?
288
00:10:58,243 --> 00:11:00,363
♪ ♪
289
00:11:00,379 --> 00:11:02,109
- You're gonna beat the heat.
290
00:11:02,247 --> 00:11:03,277
Your way.
291
00:11:03,315 --> 00:11:06,045
[sprinklers fizzing]
292
00:11:06,184 --> 00:11:08,324
- I'm gonna go beat it mine.
293
00:11:08,354 --> 00:11:11,324
[water rushing]
294
00:11:11,357 --> 00:11:18,597
♪ ♪
295
00:11:22,368 --> 00:11:25,698
[melancholy piano chords]
296
00:11:26,472 --> 00:11:27,772
- Uh, it's still not draining.
297
00:11:28,741 --> 00:11:29,741
- Not at all?
298
00:11:29,775 --> 00:11:31,305
- It doesn't look like it.
299
00:11:31,343 --> 00:11:34,483
♪ ♪
300
00:11:34,546 --> 00:11:35,906
- [clears throat]
301
00:11:35,948 --> 00:11:38,078
- Hey, pal.
- Hey, Donny.
302
00:11:38,216 --> 00:11:39,846
- Guess what I just bought?
303
00:11:39,885 --> 00:11:41,695
- Oh, it's too early in the day
for me to strike out.
304
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:42,900
Why don't you give
my guess to Fox?
305
00:11:42,921 --> 00:11:46,691
- Okay.
306
00:11:46,825 --> 00:11:47,855
- Cement.
307
00:11:47,893 --> 00:11:48,993
- Nope.
308
00:11:49,127 --> 00:11:50,227
- A hammer.
309
00:11:50,262 --> 00:11:52,402
- No.
- Just tell us, man.
310
00:11:52,530 --> 00:11:53,800
- New shoes.
311
00:11:53,932 --> 00:11:56,212
- Oh, cool.
What kind did you get?
312
00:11:56,235 --> 00:11:57,465
- The new Tubular Invaders.
313
00:11:57,603 --> 00:12:00,203
- Tubular Invaders.
Pretty cool.
314
00:12:00,338 --> 00:12:03,208
- Not the Adidas Tubular
Invaders though, right?
315
00:12:03,341 --> 00:12:05,081
- Yeah.
316
00:12:05,210 --> 00:12:06,790
Saw them in the window and
it was love at first sight.
317
00:12:06,812 --> 00:12:09,082
- Mm.
- I'm gonna go put them on.
318
00:12:09,214 --> 00:12:10,974
The guys are gonna come by
and we're gonna go
319
00:12:11,016 --> 00:12:13,326
to the mall and take
these puppies for a test drive.
320
00:12:13,352 --> 00:12:15,022
See you guys.
321
00:12:16,488 --> 00:12:17,888
- Hey, Cory.
322
00:12:17,923 --> 00:12:19,263
I hate to pry,
323
00:12:19,291 --> 00:12:22,891
but have you seen the new
Adidas Tubular Invaders?
324
00:12:23,028 --> 00:12:25,668
- No. Why?
325
00:12:25,698 --> 00:12:27,398
- They're all white.
326
00:12:27,433 --> 00:12:29,103
- [whispers]
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
327
00:12:29,234 --> 00:12:31,644
- I'm just worried that
if he wears them to the mall,
328
00:12:31,770 --> 00:12:33,300
he might...
- Scuff them.
329
00:12:33,339 --> 00:12:35,639
- Mall's the
dirtiest place on Earth.
330
00:12:35,774 --> 00:12:37,744
- He's gonna be crushed.
331
00:12:37,876 --> 00:12:40,246
- Has he ever had a pair
of all-white shoes?
332
00:12:40,378 --> 00:12:41,778
- No.
333
00:12:41,813 --> 00:12:43,453
He has no idea
what he's getting into.
334
00:12:43,581 --> 00:12:45,521
- You wanna see the Invaders?
335
00:12:46,985 --> 00:12:48,725
- Oh-ho-ho!
- Oh, shit!
336
00:12:48,754 --> 00:12:50,324
- The Tubular...
[record scratch noise]
337
00:12:50,356 --> 00:12:52,856
Invaders, my boy.
- I ain't mad at those one bit.
338
00:12:52,991 --> 00:12:55,371
- So, I guess you just flip the
strap and you're ready to go.
339
00:12:55,393 --> 00:12:56,743
- [record scratch noise]
Rub-a-dub-dub.
340
00:12:56,761 --> 00:12:58,001
- You put those in the tub?
341
00:12:58,030 --> 00:12:59,600
- Phew.
- You looking clean.
342
00:12:59,731 --> 00:13:00,571
- Hey guys.
- Oh, what's up, Cor?
343
00:13:00,633 --> 00:13:03,313
- Oh. Okay.
344
00:13:03,336 --> 00:13:04,436
The Tubular Invaders, huh?
345
00:13:04,470 --> 00:13:06,170
There they are.
346
00:13:06,304 --> 00:13:09,014
Uh, hey, guys. do you mind
giving me and Donny a minute?
347
00:13:09,141 --> 00:13:11,391
He'll be down in just a minute.
348
00:13:11,410 --> 00:13:12,240
- Congratulations.
349
00:13:12,278 --> 00:13:13,718
- Definitely slappin'.
350
00:13:13,746 --> 00:13:15,316
- I'll be right out, guys.
351
00:13:15,348 --> 00:13:16,448
- [sighs]
352
00:13:16,482 --> 00:13:18,582
Listen, pal, um...
353
00:13:18,651 --> 00:13:20,301
I know how exciting it can be
354
00:13:20,319 --> 00:13:21,729
to have your first pair
of all-white shoes.
355
00:13:21,754 --> 00:13:22,854
- I love them.
356
00:13:22,888 --> 00:13:24,358
- But it's also important to,
357
00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:25,690
to be safe.
358
00:13:25,824 --> 00:13:27,344
Which is why
I got something for you.
359
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:28,190
- Oh, what'd you get?
360
00:13:28,326 --> 00:13:30,186
[rustling]
361
00:13:30,328 --> 00:13:31,808
- Plastic bags.
362
00:13:31,831 --> 00:13:33,411
- And they got the strap.
- And the strap is tight.
363
00:13:33,432 --> 00:13:34,482
- You just strap
and you're ready to ride.
364
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:35,530
- You ready to roll.
365
00:13:35,567 --> 00:13:36,897
- That's what's up, man.
366
00:13:37,035 --> 00:13:39,335
[rustling]
367
00:13:39,371 --> 00:13:40,911
- What's on your feet, Donny?
368
00:13:41,039 --> 00:13:43,239
- Oh, Cory wanted me
to wear these bags
369
00:13:43,375 --> 00:13:44,435
to keep my shoes clean.
370
00:13:44,476 --> 00:13:46,276
- I guess that's
a pretty good idea.
371
00:13:46,312 --> 00:13:47,412
They're all-white.
372
00:13:47,545 --> 00:13:48,855
- I think it is a good idea,
373
00:13:48,882 --> 00:13:52,452
however,
I ain't wearing the bags.
374
00:13:52,484 --> 00:13:56,224
- Ooh, Donny, you bad.
[laughs]
375
00:13:56,354 --> 00:13:57,724
I like that.
376
00:13:57,856 --> 00:13:59,296
- I'm just gonna hide these
bags in the bushes
377
00:13:59,325 --> 00:14:00,865
and I'll put them back on
before I come home.
378
00:14:00,893 --> 00:14:03,233
Cory will be none the wiser.
379
00:14:03,361 --> 00:14:05,331
- Let's hit up the food court,
man, I'm starving.
380
00:14:05,463 --> 00:14:07,503
- Yeah, me too.
- Nice work.
381
00:14:07,533 --> 00:14:09,233
[ominous music]
382
00:14:09,367 --> 00:14:10,807
- Hey, what are you in the
mood for? Like, Panda Express?
383
00:14:10,836 --> 00:14:12,436
- Read my mind.
- Yeah, baby.
384
00:14:12,570 --> 00:14:13,850
- Ooh, I wanna get
that Asian beef.
385
00:14:13,872 --> 00:14:14,942
[door creaks]
386
00:14:15,073 --> 00:14:16,013
[rustling]
387
00:14:16,041 --> 00:14:18,381
- Hey, Fox.
- Hey, Cory.
388
00:14:18,410 --> 00:14:20,010
Look, I was walking home.
389
00:14:20,045 --> 00:14:22,885
Saw these bags dancing
in the wind together.
390
00:14:22,916 --> 00:14:24,646
They looked like
the ones you gave Donny.
391
00:14:24,717 --> 00:14:27,577
- They are?
392
00:14:27,619 --> 00:14:28,619
Yup.
393
00:14:28,654 --> 00:14:29,694
- I'll track him down.
394
00:14:29,821 --> 00:14:31,561
We're losing light.
395
00:14:31,690 --> 00:14:33,820
- Fox?
396
00:14:33,859 --> 00:14:35,859
Take the bags.
- Thank you.
397
00:14:36,695 --> 00:14:38,495
[hip hop music]
398
00:14:38,530 --> 00:14:45,100
[chattering excitedly]
399
00:14:46,572 --> 00:14:49,542
[hip-hop music continues]
400
00:14:49,575 --> 00:14:52,005
♪ ♪
401
00:14:52,044 --> 00:14:53,844
- What's up, lil Kev?
- Hey.
402
00:14:53,879 --> 00:14:56,579
- Time to wake up, homeboy.
- Kev, what's up, bro?
403
00:14:56,715 --> 00:15:02,585
♪ ♪
404
00:15:02,721 --> 00:15:05,491
[screaming and laughter]
405
00:15:05,623 --> 00:15:06,493
- Tubular Invaders.
406
00:15:06,624 --> 00:15:08,134
- Donny!
407
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,660
A guy with kind of, like,
an afro, white shoes?
408
00:15:10,696 --> 00:15:15,966
♪ ♪
409
00:15:16,001 --> 00:15:21,071
[overlapping chatter]
410
00:15:21,206 --> 00:15:23,846
[laughter]
411
00:15:23,876 --> 00:15:27,076
Did you guys see
a guy with a big afro?
412
00:15:27,212 --> 00:15:32,052
♪ ♪
413
00:15:33,418 --> 00:15:34,418
Donny.
414
00:15:35,487 --> 00:15:38,457
[ominous music]
415
00:15:38,490 --> 00:15:41,830
♪ ♪
416
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:43,560
Excuse me, sir.
417
00:15:43,595 --> 00:15:44,795
- Hey, guys.
418
00:15:46,398 --> 00:15:49,628
- Ooh, my boy, yeah!
- Oh! [laughs]
419
00:15:49,768 --> 00:15:51,598
- That's Donny right there.
420
00:15:51,637 --> 00:15:57,877
♪ ♪
421
00:16:00,578 --> 00:16:03,448
[melancholy violin music]
422
00:16:03,581 --> 00:16:09,751
♪ ♪
423
00:16:22,734 --> 00:16:25,254
[dramatic music]
424
00:16:25,271 --> 00:16:26,041
- What happened?
425
00:16:26,171 --> 00:16:28,211
- He scuffed them.
426
00:16:28,340 --> 00:16:32,980
- That's the thing. Donny
scuffed his shoes at the mall.
427
00:16:33,012 --> 00:16:34,382
- Couldn't get to him in time.
428
00:16:34,413 --> 00:16:35,953
- Let me see the shoe.
429
00:16:38,918 --> 00:16:40,448
[dramatic chord]
430
00:16:40,485 --> 00:16:42,945
[sighs]
431
00:16:42,988 --> 00:16:44,048
Can you fix it?
432
00:16:44,189 --> 00:16:45,829
- I'm not a miracle worker,
433
00:16:45,858 --> 00:16:47,328
but I'll try my best.
434
00:16:47,459 --> 00:16:48,989
- Please.
435
00:16:49,028 --> 00:16:51,838
- Anything for Donny.
436
00:16:51,864 --> 00:16:52,734
- All right, what happened?
437
00:16:52,864 --> 00:16:56,944
[overlapping explanations]
438
00:16:57,068 --> 00:16:59,278
- All right, all right,
one at a time.
439
00:16:59,305 --> 00:17:00,675
Pick a number between 1 and 10.
440
00:17:00,707 --> 00:17:01,707
- Six.
441
00:17:01,773 --> 00:17:02,973
- Five.
- Two.
442
00:17:03,008 --> 00:17:04,408
- It was four. So, Brent?
443
00:17:04,443 --> 00:17:06,253
- Um, okay, we were
at the food court,
444
00:17:06,278 --> 00:17:08,008
and Donny went to go
throw away some trash.
445
00:17:08,147 --> 00:17:09,847
And then there was
this other guy
446
00:17:09,981 --> 00:17:11,731
and he was in front Donny and
he was throwing away his trash.
447
00:17:11,750 --> 00:17:13,750
And after he was done
throwing it away,
448
00:17:13,885 --> 00:17:15,525
it looked like he was gonna go
left but he actually went back.
449
00:17:15,554 --> 00:17:17,104
He leaned back.
- Yeah, he just stepped back...
450
00:17:17,122 --> 00:17:18,372
[record scratch noise]
Out of nowhere.
451
00:17:18,390 --> 00:17:19,990
- Direct hit.
- Okay.
452
00:17:20,025 --> 00:17:22,985
Did you exchange information?
- Yeah.
453
00:17:23,028 --> 00:17:25,698
- Good. Thank you.
454
00:17:25,831 --> 00:17:27,031
I'll call him later.
455
00:17:27,066 --> 00:17:28,826
Well,
thanks for bringing Donny home.
456
00:17:28,867 --> 00:17:31,467
If you guys wanna
maybe get going...
457
00:17:34,406 --> 00:17:36,406
- See you guys.
I'll call you later.
458
00:17:36,441 --> 00:17:39,981
- Keith? Um, we're gonna
go to Panthers.
459
00:17:43,849 --> 00:17:45,579
- Should've worn those bags.
460
00:17:45,717 --> 00:17:48,487
I'm never gonna wear white
outside ever again.
461
00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:51,120
Not even if I'm
on a beach in Cabo.
462
00:17:51,156 --> 00:17:53,056
- You don't have that attitude.
463
00:17:53,092 --> 00:17:55,662
If you're ever in Cabo and
people are wearing white,
464
00:17:55,794 --> 00:17:57,834
you just...
465
00:17:57,863 --> 00:18:00,533
Put plastic bags
over your pants.
466
00:18:02,768 --> 00:18:04,938
- Well...
467
00:18:04,970 --> 00:18:06,840
So this was a pretty bad one.
468
00:18:06,872 --> 00:18:08,972
I tried an experimental blend...
469
00:18:09,008 --> 00:18:12,318
Bleach, nail polish remover
on a toothbrush...
470
00:18:12,344 --> 00:18:15,294
My toothbrush, so I know
it's been through a lot.
471
00:18:15,314 --> 00:18:17,754
And the stain
472
00:18:17,883 --> 00:18:19,053
is gone.
473
00:18:19,084 --> 00:18:20,584
It's like it wasn't even there.
474
00:18:20,719 --> 00:18:21,859
- Great job, Fox.
475
00:18:21,888 --> 00:18:22,948
- Where'd it go?
476
00:18:22,988 --> 00:18:24,658
- Where was it ever?
477
00:18:24,790 --> 00:18:26,420
- That's impossible.
478
00:18:26,558 --> 00:18:28,438
- There's something you should
probably say to Fox.
479
00:18:28,460 --> 00:18:30,270
I think it was written
on those plastic bags.
480
00:18:30,296 --> 00:18:32,596
- God, thanks, Fox.
481
00:18:32,731 --> 00:18:34,511
- Come on. Let's celebrate.
You want a whiskey?
482
00:18:34,533 --> 00:18:35,833
- Yes, I do.
483
00:18:35,967 --> 00:18:38,237
Learn from this, Donny.
484
00:18:38,369 --> 00:18:39,499
Learn.
485
00:18:44,876 --> 00:18:47,386
- Hey, pal. I found
a quarter from Nebraska.
486
00:18:47,414 --> 00:18:50,884
- Cool.
487
00:18:50,916 --> 00:18:52,516
[dish clanking]
488
00:18:52,551 --> 00:18:54,081
- You know,
you don't have to wear
489
00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:55,849
the plastic bags
inside the house.
490
00:18:55,987 --> 00:18:57,017
- Oh, I know.
491
00:18:57,056 --> 00:18:59,186
But, you know,
better safe than sorry.
492
00:18:59,224 --> 00:19:02,464
Just like you tell me.
493
00:19:02,594 --> 00:19:04,704
[knocking]
494
00:19:04,830 --> 00:19:06,400
- Hey, Cor. Is Donny here?
495
00:19:06,431 --> 00:19:07,871
We're gonna go to the mall.
496
00:19:07,999 --> 00:19:11,909
- Um...
497
00:19:11,938 --> 00:19:13,098
Donny's not feeling too well.
498
00:19:13,138 --> 00:19:14,478
I don't think he's
gonna be able to
499
00:19:14,506 --> 00:19:16,106
come join you guys at the mall.
500
00:19:16,141 --> 00:19:17,881
- All right, y'all,
let's ride it out.
501
00:19:18,009 --> 00:19:21,379
- Let's just go to Panthers.
502
00:19:21,513 --> 00:19:23,613
- "Coaching Kobe
was a dream come true.
503
00:19:23,749 --> 00:19:25,879
"Every year he was able
to lead our basketball team
504
00:19:26,017 --> 00:19:29,017
to new heights, and we were..."
505
00:19:29,054 --> 00:19:30,294
Are you listening or not?
506
00:19:30,422 --> 00:19:31,492
- No.
507
00:19:31,623 --> 00:19:33,223
Definitely not.
508
00:19:33,258 --> 00:19:35,098
- I'm gonna eat some ice cream.
Do you want any?
509
00:19:35,126 --> 00:19:36,456
- No, I'm good, thanks.
510
00:19:36,495 --> 00:19:37,895
Hey, what the fuck
are you doing?
511
00:19:38,029 --> 00:19:39,259
- What are you talking about?
512
00:19:39,397 --> 00:19:40,837
- You almost scuffed
my goddamn shoe.
513
00:19:40,932 --> 00:19:42,302
- I did not almost
scuff your shoe.
514
00:19:42,434 --> 00:19:43,934
Besides,
you got plastic bags on them.
515
00:19:43,969 --> 00:19:46,069
You haven't taken
them off in three days.
516
00:19:46,105 --> 00:19:47,205
- [scoffs]
517
00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:49,943
Okay. Go get your ice cream.
518
00:19:49,975 --> 00:19:51,835
- Okay.
519
00:19:51,977 --> 00:19:54,107
You wait right here.
I'm gonna be right back.
520
00:19:54,245 --> 00:19:55,315
I'm gonna do something
I should've done
521
00:19:55,347 --> 00:19:56,977
a couple of days ago.
522
00:19:58,884 --> 00:20:02,934
You better not do it.
I can hear you in there.
523
00:20:02,955 --> 00:20:05,485
[door creaks]
524
00:20:08,127 --> 00:20:10,627
- Cory?
525
00:20:13,298 --> 00:20:14,928
You look ferocious.
526
00:20:15,066 --> 00:20:16,896
- I know.
527
00:20:16,936 --> 00:20:18,596
- They fit you perfectly.
528
00:20:18,637 --> 00:20:20,467
- From every angle.
529
00:20:20,505 --> 00:20:23,415
- Wait, how come I've never
seen you wear those before?
530
00:20:23,442 --> 00:20:26,842
- I bought these at a
Buffalo Exchange 12 years ago.
531
00:20:26,978 --> 00:20:28,848
Only wore them once.
532
00:20:28,980 --> 00:20:30,410
- Why?
533
00:20:30,449 --> 00:20:31,989
- Was driving down the road
with a cup of coffee
534
00:20:32,017 --> 00:20:32,847
right between my legs.
535
00:20:32,984 --> 00:20:34,454
Hit one little bump.
536
00:20:34,586 --> 00:20:36,916
Little droplet
went through the coffee cup,
537
00:20:36,956 --> 00:20:38,456
and landed right there
on my pants.
538
00:20:38,590 --> 00:20:40,060
- I'm so sorry.
539
00:20:40,191 --> 00:20:41,441
- So, I drove right
to the dry cleaner.
540
00:20:41,459 --> 00:20:43,689
Luckily, they got it out.
541
00:20:43,829 --> 00:20:44,909
Luckily.
542
00:20:44,931 --> 00:20:46,501
She said it was that close.
543
00:20:46,531 --> 00:20:48,701
So, you see, I do know
what you're going through.
544
00:20:48,734 --> 00:20:51,874
[dramatic music]
545
00:20:52,003 --> 00:20:54,923
- Hey, where you going?
546
00:20:54,941 --> 00:20:55,941
- Outside.
547
00:20:56,007 --> 00:20:57,307
- What are you, nuts?
548
00:20:57,342 --> 00:20:59,082
You're gonna ruin them.
- Yeah.
549
00:20:59,210 --> 00:21:00,950
I probably will.
550
00:21:00,980 --> 00:21:03,310
But all I know
is that pants this white
551
00:21:03,348 --> 00:21:06,378
were meant to be
seen and envied.
552
00:21:06,518 --> 00:21:08,818
So are shoes like that.
553
00:21:08,954 --> 00:21:12,064
You coming or what?
37086
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