All language subtitles for Broke s01e06 Losing My Religion.eng

Previously on "Broke..."

SAMMY: My family used to be
just me and my mom,

until one day, the doorbell rang.

It was my mom's sister, Aunt Lizzie...

- Jackie, it is us.
- Hi, there.

...her husband T�o Javi and Luis.

Who is Luis, you ask?

Luis is my assistant, my driver,
but more importantly, my friend.

SAMMY: T�o Javi messed
up and lost all his money, so he

and Aunt Lizzie had to move in with us,

which is great,
because now the house is loud

and busy and fun.

And I hope it stays that way.

ANNOUNCER (OVER TV): Off the rim!

They're fighting for the rebound.

- Go, UCLA!
- Go, Bruins!

- Use your elbows!
- �V�monos, Chattanooga!

Ag�rralo!

And UCLA comes down with it.

- (LAUGHS)
- JACKIE: I don't get it.

You guys live in L.A. now.
You should be rooting for UCLA.

Yeah, I always root for the team
with the most Mexicans on it.

And Chattanooga has one.

(CHUCKLES)

And why do you care about UCLA?
You didn't even go there.

We've been a UCLA family since
Dad faked a slip and fall

on campus and they paid
him off in season tickets.

Five seconds left. UCLA down by two.

Hill shoots from downtown...

BOTH: Yes, yes, yes!

No, no, no!

Off the rim!

Chattanooga wins!

Thank you, God.

Does God really care
what team wins a game?

- No.
- ?Yes.

Well, I believe, Sammy,

that prayers from good-hearted people

can influence God,
which is why I broke out

my abuela's rosary beads for this game.

What do they do?

Think of it as boosting the Wi-Fi

so our prayers get to heaven faster.

But God doesn't have
a favorite team, right?

Well, God does not have favorites,

but God does have
a sweet spot for Mexicans.

How else could you explain
that we ended up

with the best music and the best food?

Sammy, God doesn't have
anything to do with the game.

The team that wins either has

the most talent, works
the hardest or, in this case,

obviously paid off the refs.

But if God did want a team
to win, He could do it, right?

- No.
- ?Yes.

Or She could do it.

Think I blew your mind with that?

I'm just getting started.

Mm-hmm.

Now, Christians,

they might believe, "I
didn't win this game,

but I will win the game
in the world to come."

Jewish people might be full
of guilt and they'll say,

"It's my fault we lost the
game," "No, it's my fault,"

"No, it's my fault."

While Buddhists, they might ask,

"Was there even a game to begin with?"

But there was a game.

Was there?

(IMITATES EXPLOSION)

- God has nothing to do with sports.
- LUIS: Agreed.

The only person you're ever
competing against is yourself.

Ignore the pain, look ahead and
give it everything you've got.

Luke 11:15.

I'm not familiar with that Bible passage.

Oh, it's not from the Bible.

My spin instructor Luke
said that at his 11:15 class.

I've been going for a few weeks
now, and it has changed my life.

Luke not only works my quads,

he also works my mind and my soul.

It's been forever

since I've worked
my quad/mind/soul trinity.

Can you get me a guest pass?

Yes, I can. Luke loves it
when we bring in new people.

But you should know he is strict,

demanding and judgmental.

Quit selling, I said I'll go. (LAUGHS)

I love it when my
trainers are a little mean.

I know, right? Trust me, his
class is a religious experience.

Mom, if I pray hard enough,

would God do my homework for me?

No.

You know, for Buddhist kids,
homework doesn't even exist.

Get up there.

Sammy's very curious about God.

Maybe today.

Tomorrow it'll be, I don't know,

frisbee golf or...

videos of kangaroos fighting.

Those are good ones.

Uh, I'm just saying that
if he's asking these questions,

he will only start asking more.

Don't worry. I'm his mother.

There's no question he can
ask me that I can't answer.

Why is there evil in the world?

Why did God get rid of dinosaurs?

How do I get to heaven?

- Well...
- ?Are there dogs in heaven?

- I...
- ?Is there food in heaven?

How did the world start?

How will the world end?

Uh, I don't know.

I think I have to go to bed now.

- It's only 5:00.
- ?Yeah,

but I'm exhausted.

Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com

You know, Luis, spinning might
be the first thing you and I

have ever done together,
just the two of us.

Well, there was the four hours
we spent alone

in that runaway hot-air balloon
in Tanzania.

Javi still feels terrible
about cutting the rope too soon.

No, but I mean just the two of us

doing something fun that
involves cute athleisure wear.

Agreed. Just remember:
Luke runs a tight ship.

He'll expect you to start in the back row

and earn your way forward over time.

Mm. I don't always do best
in merit-based situations,

but I'll try.

What row are you in?

Today, I will be in the front
row for the first time.

(SQUEALS)

But I must keep my excitement in check.

Luke dislikes artificial
enthusiasm, so as my guest,

I will ask you to please
keep away from the woo-ers.

The woo-ers?

People who scream "woo" during class

in a pathetic attempt
to get Luke's approval.

So you've never wooed?

Come on.

I love sleeping late on Sunday mornings

while you guys watch Sammy.

It's the one good thing

about you living here.

Aw.

You know, it's compliments
like those that keep me going.

Oh, and if you're worried about

what you're wearing, don't be.

Lots of people have clothes
that look like sausage skin.

If you're saying he looks spicy
and I look tasty,

we'll take it.

Enjoy the view.

JAVIER AND SAMMY: ? Rejoice ?

? And be glad ?

? Yours is the kingdom ?

? Of God. ?

That's an interesting song, Sammy.

Where'd you hear it?

- In church.
- Just this morning.

Isn't it amazing
what a fast learner he is?

Sammy, why don't you go upstairs
and get some homework done?

I'll be up in a minute.

Am I in trouble?

No, sweetie.

Nobody's in trouble.

That's not exactly true.

What were you thinking taking,
Sammy to church?

W-What's the problem?
You've taken Sammy to church.

I took him once. We showed up
at the end to get free donuts.

We didn't go inside.

Are you still mad UCLA lost?

Just tell the coach
to get a Mexican player.

It's not about that.

What is it about, then?

Do you not believe in God?

I do. In my own way.

I don't want Sammy
thinking that sitting in a room

with stained glass windows
is gonna solve all his problems.

Well, that's not what going
to church is about.

It's about community and tradition...

And this conversation is over.
I've made my decision.

But...

isn't there a higher authority?

Not in this house.

Is it okay if I spin next to you?

I'm always a little nervous
going into a new class.

There's no reason to be nervous.
Who's nervous? I am not nervous.

Luis, what's going on?

Did you put something in your smoothie?

And do you have any more?

It's just today could
be a big day for me.

If I can crush the workout from
the front row, I may be asked

to ride the podium.

Wait, what's riding the podium?

It's the highest badge of honor here.

Only the most impressive spinners

get asked to ride next to Luke.

Okay, Luke's here. Be cool.

What's up, spirit spinners?

I see a lot of familiar faces,

and you guys inspire me every day. Oh.

And I see some freshies.

Hello there.

Hi. Sorry, I can move back a few rows.

Are you kidding me? Your
outfit is my everything,

and I want to stare at it all class.

Thank you. I got it at Neiman's
where I work.

Come on down, we have
a friends and family discount.

Are you a shoe and am I a pedal?
'Cause we clicking.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Ah...

You stay up front
with your fabulous self.

(LAUGHS) Hey, good to see you, Lewis.

I am Luis...

? ?

We're almost done, my di-cycles.

So I want you to give me
everything you've got

and then give me a little more.

(WHOOPS)

Yes!

I love that spirit, Lizzie.
You've done this before.

You know it!

I've ridden stationary bikes
all over the world.

?Oh! Well, get ready to ride
the podium with me next week!

(LAUGHS)

And that is class for today.

Great work, everybody.

And remember:

stay positive, stay hydrated

but mostly,

stay true to yourself.

Best class ever.

That's because you left it
all out on the bike.

I also left things on the bike.

I'll see you tomorrow
at Neiman's, Ms. Podium.

(BOTH WHOOP)

Thank you, Luis.

I am obsessed with this class.

I'm coming with you every week.

I can hardly wait.

I really needed this venting session.

Thank God you were free.

God is the last thing
I want to thank right now.

Well, I guess you're going first.

Sammy's mad at me because I told him

he couldn't go to church anymore.

I mean, I know he's curious,
but I am not into it. Advice?

Well, when I want Javier
to shift his focus,

I distract him with
something shiny and new.

He is like a kitten in that way.

Also, in the sounds he
makes when he's napping.

(MEWS)

So you're saying all I have to do

is find something for Sammy that's
more fun than church.

So, literally anything.

Just don't invite Elizabeth.

She'll take it over and
make it all about her.

So I guess we're moving on to you now.

I used to love my spin class so much.

Then I invited your sister,
and in one class, she went

from zero to hero and turned
it into The Elizabeth Show.

She does have a long history
of ruining things.

I don't know if you remember this,

but my house used to not have her in it.

So what can I do?

There must be a way
to un-sync our cycles.

I think you should take your own advice.

There's nothing Lizzie likes more

than some cool, trendy experience.

Just find her another workout

that's better than your spin class.

But that's impossible.

Luke was named Valley Trainer of the Year

in Reseda Life Magazine.

He beat out Sensei Doug,

who had a stranglehold on the award

for the past decade.

So... make something up.

The snobbier, the better.

Tell her there's a class that...

Oprah's chef's sister swears by.

That's a good idea.

And I do think Carol lives around here.

Huh?

Oprah's chef's sister.

Guess what?

Luis signed me up for
the most amazing Pilates class.

There was only had one spot
left, so he snagged it for me.

And I snagged the last two
chicken waffle sandwiches

off Sammy's favorite food truck.

Extra bacon.

That bag looks like it should
be on fire on someone's porch.

Sammy, breakfast!

So I'm planning this surprise
super fun day for me and Sammy.

We're gonna wolf down these bad
boys, we're gonna skateboard

until we're scabby, and we're
gonna turn up all the amps

at Guitar Center until we get kicked out

by the assistant manager. (GRUNTS)

Oh, I wish I could go with you,

but that all sounds horrible.

What the hell?

Sammy's gone.

He left a note:
"Mom, went to church, sorry."

I'm gonna kill Javi.

Why do you want to kill me today?

Wait, why aren't you
at church with Sammy?

Because you told me not
to go to church with Sam.

You're sending a lot of mixed messages.

I'm sure he's fine. The church is just

a few blocks away...
it's right by the 7-Eleven

where send him to pick up
your Red Bulls and scratchers.

I'm going to get Sammy.

I'll come with you.

No. This is all your fault.

You made church seem all groovy and fun.

And now he's rebelling against me.

Jackie, if your son
is rebelling by going to church,

you're doing an amazing job as a parent.

You know, if she really doesn't
want Sammy to go to church,

she should have subtly
put it down while telling him

there was something better he could...

Son of a bitch.

That is exactly what Luis did to me.

ELIZABETH: Hello, Luis.

Hey! Elizabeth!

I thought we weren't coming here anymore.

There's a simple explanation.

I lied to you.

But why? I thought we
were having fun together.

You were encroaching on my plan.

Your plan to ride the podium?

You care that much about it?

If we're being honest...

it's not about the podium.

It's about Luke.

Oh.

You like him.

Very much.

It started as a calorie-crushing workout,

and then it became about another crush.

So I began my long game

to ask him out, which would take roughly

six to 12 months and a
little less than $2,000.

Sounds more like paralyzing
fear than a long game.

I am afraid.

I haven't asked somebody
out in a long time.

And doing it in spandex
makes it even riskier. risk you.

But why didn't you just
tell me you liked him?

I didn't want to say anything
until it actually happened.

Don't let the goatee fool you.

I'm not the smooth operator
I appear to be.

Just ask him out.

Like I told you in the hot air balloon:

"Just close your eyes and jump."

I broke both legs.

Bad example.

Here he comes... now's your chance.

Just let me brace myself just a little...

(GASPS) Luke! Hi.

How's it going?

Yes, thank you.

I've been coming here for a long time.

And I was thinking that

if you like after-workout
smoothies as much

as I like after-workout
smoothies, and you should know

for this to work, I really do
like after-workout smoothies...

Are you asking me out?

I hope you are.

Because I've tried to be cool with you,

but then I get flustered,

and I end up doing something stupid

like saying your name wrong.

I am Luis.

Yes, I know.

So... would you like to go out sometime?

I really would.

Let's talk after.

You got it, chief.

Let's pretend I didn't just say chief.

So?

(WHOOPS)

Everybody, let's ride!

(MUSIC)

Hey.

Oh, hi.

I guess you're pretty mad at me.

Well...

I did say, "Don't go to church."

Then you went to church.

Like the juvenile delinquent you are.

So why'd you do it?

Last Sunday, the priest
told a really cool story

called "The Prodigal Son,"
but he stopped in the middle.

I had to hear how it ended.

Oh, yeah.

The old sermon with a cliffhanger.

It kind of reminds me of T�o Javi.

A rich kid who runs away

and spends all of his family's money,

then realizes he made a big mistake,

but thinks his dad
will never forgive him.

But his dad does forgive him.

Because he loves him.

You know the story?

I actually used to go to church a lot

when I was your age.

Why'd you stop?

Well...

when my mom got sick,
I made a deal with God

that if I prayed like crazy

and went to church every Sunday,

that my mom would get better.

But she didn't.

And...

just got mad, you know?

Are you still mad?

Yep.

Guess I'm not that good at forgiveness.

But... good thing

God is good at it, right?

That is a good thing.

I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, Mom.

It's okay.

So... the sermon's over.

Why are you still here?

I don't know.

It just makes me feel good.

It's peaceful.

Makes sense.

I knew it wasn't these cushy benches.

My butt bone's not gonna
wake up till Easter.

Should we get some donuts outside?

Yeah, go grab us a couple.

I'm gonna hang for a minute.

Maybe look for some of that "peaceful."

JAVIER: You are a good person.

Oh, shoot.

Javier said you had a Mexican
accent, and he was right.

I know you didn't want me to come.

But today is a day of many people

not listening to what you want.

I didn't know that about your mother.

I'm sorry.

I never talk about it.

Not even to Lizzie.

Well, you should.

She'd understand more than anyone.

And consider this.

Maybe you turned away from God
because of your mother,

but maybe because of Sammy,

you can turn back.

You know what's really frustrating?

Hmm?

It's almost impossible
to stay mad at you.

It's probably my worst quality.

- Mi amor, where's the uh...
- Oh. - ?

You are a woman of unexpected talents.

You don't know the half of it.

I had to lose a lot of skills to be rich.

Thanks. So...

I told Sammy he could start
going back to church again.

Little weirdo was so grateful,
I almost cried.

Okay, I cried.

Well, I'm proud of you.

And I'm glad you'll be taking him.

Actually...

I was hoping that you would take him.

I'm just... not there yet.

Maybe someday.

Of course, we'll be
happy to take Sammy, yeah.

And while we're on the subject...

since you're freakishly generous

and annoyingly optimistic...

...and since underneath

your hoity-toity B.S.,

you're actually loyal

and loving...

If you're asking a favor,

this is a terrible way to do it.

Yeah, it is.

Just let me finish.

Because of who you are

and because Sammy loves you,

I would like for you
to be his godparents.

Oh.

Of course.

And should anything happen to me...

I'll get revenge.

Thank you.

Javi?

Yes.

I-I would love that.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm going to go outside.

To get some fresh air.

Oh yes!

Should we tell him he
only shout to screen door?

No, let's him keep his dignity.

I'm going to be a godfather.

Excuse me.

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