Original subtitles

I remember the moss on the trees.

I remember running through the sprinklers,

those summers...

Popsicles.

I remember running as hard as I could,

and my dad knew

that I needed his approval.

And I think my father wouldn't give it to me

because he kept pushing me,

and kept pushing me and kept pushing me.

Every time my dad pushed me,

I got better and stronger,

and that house just is my foundation.

I'm still trying to learn that I don't have to...

..kill myself, and be so hard on myself, and be so critical,

and I can smell the roses.

I don't want to never be satisfied.

I don't think that's a healthy way to live.

It's a good view of the house.

I love you!

This is our dream house. We really love this one.

- Now say hello, Ebony. - Hello!

- That's Ebony on the right. - Hi.

And Beyonce in the middle, and Solange.

Daddy.

THEY SHRIEK AND GIGGLE

Leave those bees alone, Beyonce!

I'm not messing with them.

BUZZING

SHE SHRIEKS

BUZZING

MUSIC: "Crazy In Love"

# So crazy right now... #

If you down with the beehive...

If you like to sting these bitches...

Sing!

# I look and stare so deep in your eyes

# I touch on you more and more every time

# When you leave I'm beggin' you not to go

# Call your name two, three times in a row

# Such a funny thing for me to try to explain

# How I'm feeling and my pride is the one to blame

# I still don't understand

# Just how your love can do what no on else can

# Got me lookin' so crazy right now

- # Your love's got me lookin' so crazy right now - Oh, oh, crazy

- # Your love's got me lookin' so crazy right now - Your love

- # Your touch's got me lookin' so crazy right now - Ha!

- # Got me hoping you page me right now - Hey, yeah

# Your kiss has got me hoping you save me right now

- # Lookin' so crazy, your love's got me lookin' - Yeah

- # Lookin' so crazy, your love's got me lookin' - I'm lookin' so crazy in love

# Hey!

# To the top

# So crazy

# Hey

# I'm not myself lately

- # I'm foolish, I don't do this - Hey!

- # I've been playing myself - Yeah

- # Baby, I don't care - Woo!

# Your love got the best of me

# And baby, you're making a fool of me

# You got me sprung and I don't care who sees

# Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!

# Come on, yeah!

- # Crazy right now - Go crazy

- # Your touch's got me lookin' so crazy right now - Touch got me lookin' so crazy

# Hey, yeah

- # Your love's got me lookin' so crazy right now - Hey, yeah

- # So crazy Your love's got me lookin' - Hey, yeah

# Woo!

# Your love's got me lookin' so crazy right now

# Your kiss has got me hoping you save me right now

# Your love's got me lookin' so crazy right now

# Lookin' so crazy Your love's got me crazy

# So crazy, your love

# So crazy, your love's got me lookin'

# You got me lookin' so crazy in love. #

CHEERING

At some point in my career, I felt like I was doing way too much.

I felt like I had been so commercially successful...

It wasn't enough.

There's something really stressful about having to keep up with that.

And something really...crippling.

You can't express yourself.

I don't want to have to sing about the same thing for ten more years.

You can't grow.

I want to be able to sing about

how much I hate myself that day

if that's how I feel.

And I felt like it was time for me to set up my future,

so I set a goal,

and my goal was independence.

- RADIO NEWSREADER: - Superstar Beyonce has broken up...with her father.

Beyonce has officially split with her father...

Knowles tells the Associated Press it's not true...

Do you guys think the feeling is mutual?

TURNS OFF RADIO

I'm feeling very empty

because of my relationship with my dad,

and I'm...so fragile

at this point.

And I feel like...

..my...

..soul has been tarnished.

Life is unpredictable, but I felt like I had to move on

and not work with my dad,

and I don't care if I don't sell one record.

It's bigger than the record.

It's bigger than my career.

I think one of the biggest reasons

I decided it was time for me to manage myself

was because at some point you need your support system,

and you need your family.

Hey, Daddy.

'When you're trying to have a everyday conversation

'with your parents, you have to talk about schedule-making,

'you have to talk about your album,

'performing and touring.

'It's just too stressful, and it really affects your relationship.'

Want to take a break?

No, shoot.

OK, good.

Like, at the very end...

I...

I needed boundaries,

and I think my dad needed boundaries.

It's really easy to get confused with this world,

that's your job that you live and breathe every day, all day,

and then you don't know when to turn it off.

You need a break.

I needed a break.

I needed my dad.

And did you get your dad back?

No. It was... It was hard.

Smile.

Gangster.

'I had to sacrifice my relationship with my dad.'

It was a stressful, sad,

difficult time,

but I had to let go.

# Listen to the sound from deep within

# It's only beginning to find release

# Oh, I'm screaming out and my dreams will be heard

# They will not be pushed aside or worse

# Into your own all cos you won't listen

# Listen, I am alone at a crossroads

# I'm not at home in my own home

# And I tried and tried to say what's on my mind

# You should have known, oh

# Now I'm done believing you

# You don't know what I'm feeling

# I'm more than what you made of me

# I followed the voice you gave to me

# But now I've got to find my own

# My own

# My own

# My own

# My own... #

OK.

Thank God for my computer.

Sometimes, when there's no-one to talk to,

I talk out loud so I can get all of my thoughts out

and try to figure out the issues that I'm having

and I'm trying to find the answers.

The best thing is looking back and realising how incredible life is.

If you don't take the time to think about and analyse your life,

you'll never realise all of the dots that are all connected.

The first decision I had to make as my own manager was,

what do you want?

Do you want to be successful at radio?

Do you want to kiss asses?

Do you want a career?

Do you want a successful tour?

Do you want to focus on your life?

What do you want?

WHISPERS: Julius is hiding in the corner.

That's right.

ECHOING: # I heard, baby...#

I have no idea what my album is going to sound like

when I start recording.

I may have an idea

but it never turns out that way, never, ever, ever.

# I told you how you hurt me, baby

# But you don't care

# Now I'm crying and deserted, baby

# But you don't care, mm-mm

# You see these tears falling down to my ears

# I swear you like when I'm in pain, yeah

# I try to tell you about my fears

# You still don't care

# Well, that's OK, hey

# Well, I care I know you don't care too much

# But I still care, baby

# Well, I care I know you don't care too much

# But I still care, baby

# Ah... #

I said OK, I'm going to take a risk,

and I'm going to bring R&B music back,

and I'm going to add bridges to songs and chord changes,

and I'm going to sing about love

and I'm going to do the opposite of what I thought I was going to do.

I'm not going to try to be cool.

Forget being cool, I'm going to be honest.

I'm going to be sad, I'm going to be passionate,

I'm going to be vulnerable, I'm going to sing from my heart,

I'm going to be gravelly and growl and scream, and,

you know, that was my plan.

Smart, smart, smart, smart.

# Boy, you know you love it

# How we're smart enough to make these millions

# Strong enough to bear the children...#

Ah, shit.

Oh, my God. It's too hard!

All in one breath.

Right, "I have the children, oh, shit."

That's how the song should start -

# Boy, I'm on your runway

# And I don't never want to come back

# Put my name on your T-shirt

# La-la-la, me or your man... #

'It's a tough time, and it's tough for the music industry,

'and, you know, I'm an artist that tours,

'I'm an artist that makes albums.' That's it.

People don't make albums any more.

They don't make albums.

They just try to sell a bunch of little, quick singles

and they burn out and they put out a new one

and they burn out and they put out a new one.

People don't even listen to a body of work any more.

We are number one.

The album debuted at number one!

'When I first started out, there was no internet,'

people taking pictures of you and putting your personal life

or exploiting your personal life as entertainment.

I think people are so brainwashed.

You get up in the morning, you click on the computer,

you see all these pictures,

and all you think of is the picture and the image that you see all day,

every day, and you don't see the human form.

And I think, when Nina Simone put out music,

you loved her voice. That's what she wanted you to love.

That was her instrument.

But you didn't get brainwashed by her day-to-day life

and what her child is wearing and who she's dating and, you know,

all the things that really... It's not your business, you know?

And it shouldn't influence the way you listen

to the voice and the art,

but it does.

SHE SINGS WORDLESSLY

'When I'm recording in the studio,

'I want to close my eyes and feel,

'and anyone that's going to distract me from that,

'they're just not allowed in the studio.

'I'm like, "Get out of here.'

"I don't want to hear you say, "'Well, maybe you should put more song structure.'"

I don't want to hear any of that. I'm truly an artist in the studio.

# Boy, maybe if you cared enough

# I wouldn't have to care so much

# What happened to our trust?

# Now you're just giving up

# You used to be so in love

# Now you don't care no more... #

Sorry, guys!

This is an absolute bar-raising record.

People have asked me and I've tried not to, I've tried very hard

not to give anything away,

- but said that this doesn't sound like anybody. - It's original.

It doesn't sound like anybody.

We're going to be fucking busy this summer.

All right, that was definitely exhilarating.

I feel very proud.

I'm happy it's over.

I'm an artist, and I'm sensitive about my shit.

Oh! I'm still disoriented.

Excuse me, you've got to back up, you've got to back up.

Beyonce! Beyonce!

Beyonce, look at me!

I can't believe that my album is out today.

I saw some billboards and I guess the reality will sink in,

but this album is so personal

and such a labour of love

that it almost feels like no-one should be able to judge it

because it's just...

It's from my heart.

I did a photo shoot last night for my nephew.

He went to Paris with me because I heard him speak in French

and he was fluent and it was so shocking to me.

I love him so much

and I figured this would be a really good memory for him,

to spend Easter with his father in Paris

at six years old.

Oh! That's what I'm talking about!

That is a Julez jump.

You want to do it again?

I just want to take a break.

You want to take a break? OK.

Oh, what are you doing?

Are you meditating?

Is that like a prayer? Are you a guru?

- OK. - I'm meditating.

'This is the time when your memories really, really

'stick with you for the rest of your life,'

so I wanted to be able to give him that memory with his dad.

I know how important that is.

Daddy.

- Yes, Beyonce? - Let's have a race.

- We're going to have a race? - Uh-huh.

All right. Get on the marks, get set, go.

See how fast Beyonce is.

Stop pretending that I have it all together,

and if I'm scared, be scared,

allow it, release it,

move on.

I think I need to go listen to Make Love To Me

and I'll make love to my husband.

# Baby, baby

# Baby, baby, baby

# Baby, baby, baby, baby

# Baby, baby, baby, babe

# Baby, baby

# Baby, baby, baby, baby

# Baby, baby, baby, baby

# Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby ba-ba-ba-baby, ooh!

# Ooh-ooh

# Ooh-ooh-ooh

# Ooh

# Make love to me. #

CHEERING

It's 3.30 in the morning and I was feeling really nauseous and...

I just had a feeling last week that something was going on,

so I had Melissa go get me some pregnancy tests

and I found out that I am with child.

I don't know what God is trying to prepare me for,

because I know everything in my life is for a reason, but wow.

Really? This is crazy!

We'll see what happens in the next chapter of my life

because I have so much going on.

Hey. Hey.

# You're ever young. #

'Being pregnant was very much like falling in love.

'You are so open. You are so overjoyed.

'There's no words that can express having a baby

'growing inside of you, so of course you want to scream it out

'and tell everyone but you just have to make sure everything's safe.'

'So I had to hide something that was the best thing in my life.'

I was scared to make plans, but I remember going to the doctor

and the doctor said, "Listen, you have to let it go.

And... "You're healthy and if this baby is supposed to be here,

"the baby is going to be here

"and you don't need to be thinking about it.

"You go do everything that you've been doing and you will be fine."

The Billboard Award Show was the first performance

I did knowing I was pregnant.

Everyone was like, "What is she gonna do now?

"What's the next step?"

It was me putting my stamp on my independence,

the same way Independent Woman did, the same way Survivor did,

so it was really a passionate performance for me.

Only this time around, I was pregnant.

What's going on? OK, sorry, sorry!

Hi. Sorry, sorry.

- Hello. - Hello. Hey, Kenzo. That was pretty strong.

So as you can see, the morale in this team is beyond amazing.

This gentleman right here hasn't slept in about 72 hours...

and he still looks pretty good.

I feel good.

Doesn't smell quite so good but...!

We got a video production team here on site.

It looks like the owner didn't pay his rent.

We're gonna have to clear them out.

Ah. Call Melissa on her phone.

- Yep. - I need you to call Melissa.

I'm sorry, I have to stop my client from coming to the building.

Call Melissa for me, get Melissa. They have to lock the building down.

- So what's going on? - Just wanted to let you know...

- What's going on? - I don't fucking know, Al.

Kicked us out of the rehearsal space

and they're locking the doors with all our equipment in it.

Beyonce's on her way. We're basically juggling balls.

Um...give me a call. It's kind of weird out here.

Talk to you later. Bye.

If you had to sum up in one sentence where we are right now,

what would it be?

We don't have an approved rough cut..

and we're going on live television in two days.

That's unheard of.

Someone called me and I'm thinking, "I can't even be upset.

"I'm not surprised." Everything went wrong.

Of course the police are there!

Of course we can't rehearse!

Of course we're gonna be out in the street

just trying to shine some projection

on a reflection of a car window or something. It was crazy.

Don't worry.

'But, thank God, it always works out,

'and eventually we got in the building

'and we were able to do a few hours of rehearsal.'

I call him Champion. And Mario, right? Did I say that right?

This is so interesting, Beyonce saw some stuff on YouTube.

They're from Mozambique. That's 26 hours away from here.

They got some movement that we cannot duplicate,

so we had to go back and bring them to America and...

Not America!

OK. And the movement is brilliant.

- Whoo! - Whoo!

OK, five, six, seven... One, two, three. OK.

One, two, three.

There, so have this motion, but still have that tightness.

CHEERING

I love seeing a new buzz.

I'm always thinking about women and what we need to hear.

It's difficult being a woman. It's so much pressure.

We need that support and we need that escape sometimes.

That's what I'm saying. Hey, momma.

You know what I mean?

I'm good.

'I grew up in a house with my mother who owned a hair salon

'and my mother was a therapist. She was more than a hairstylist.'

She was a therapist.

And women would come into that salon with problems,

they'd express themselves, they'd get a makeover

and they'd walk out new women.

My mom would let me sweep up the hair

and, if people would listen, we'd perform for them in the hair salon.

And most of them were like, "I'm just trying to get a press and curl.

"I do not wanna hear this."

But we made them listen and then we insisted on money!

# And now I learned the meaning to your story

# And this is an awful lot for me to say

# I wanna be where you are

# Oh, oh Anywhere you are

# Oh, oh I wanna be where you are

# Oh, oh... #

'What did you learn about these women?'

We're all going through our problems,

but we all have the same insecurities

and we all have the same abilities

and we all need each other and...

You know, I have been around the world,

I've seen so many things, I love my husband,

but there's nothing like a conversation

with a woman that understands you.

I grow so much from those conversations. I need my sisters.

# So I cry and I cry and I say

# Love me, love me Say that you love me

# Fool me, fool me Go on and fool me

# Love me, love me Pretend that you love me

# Leave me, leave me Say that you need me

# Oh, so I cry

# And I pray for you to

# Love me, love me Say that you love me

# Just say that you need me

# I don't care about anything but you. #

Men have been given the chance to rule the world

and, ladies, our revolution has begun.

Let's build a nation, women everywhere round the world.

I think y'all's graphics are on Vicodin. They're too slow.

Like, when I do this...it should, boom, pop up really fast.

It's just not dramatic enough.

Women everywhere, run the world.

It just took hours and hours and days of hard work,

making sure the graphics married to the choreography.

There were certain graphics that looked good on a computer screen,

but when you put a body in front of it,

the interaction between me and the screen, it just didn't work out.

Laurent. Larry.

No!

Who is Larry, who is Laurent?

- Larry. - No!

So, how you feeling about the projection?

Feeling good. There's a lot of work to be done in the next 48 hours

to really crank this thing, make it everything that it can and will be,

so we're all just like... about to just not sleep

for two days and kill this shit.

Maybe they could be doing something.

- Mm-hmm. - And we could give it to 'em

- and y'all could do something around what I'm gonna be doing. - Mm-hmm.

- When they take five, go where you should be. - Yeah.

Don't you think that'd be helpful?

- Yes. - OK, let's do it.

From... This is the...

- From this. - Got it.

Right?

And then when you... Then you come in with this.

I just need a... # Da-da-da #

Do you wanna do this for me?

Thank you.

Hours of practices, all the thought that went into that...

..but it's not working.

I know when to give up.

Hopefully God will lead me and I'll make the right decision,

but He's clearly given me a child

so I need to listen to what He's trying to say.

I guess maybe I need to focus on my life...

"To whom much is given, much is required."

I guess I can handle that. Going to sleep.

Because we lost a day of rehearsals,

we never got a chance to do it right, but it was show day,

so the first time we were gonna see it through was on live TV

in front of millions of viewers. It was crazy.

I used to like when people made me mad.

I'm like, "Please piss me off before the performance."

I used to use everything.

By the time I finished fighting everything else

and got on the stage, I was like...

Our power is ever-present.

I am woman, and when I think, I must speak.

Oh!

Men have been given the chance to rule the world

but, ladies, our revolution has begun.

Let's build a nation, women everywhere.

Run the world!

'Billboard was a huge artistic gamble,

'but the urge to get my message out was so overwhelming,

'I didn't even pay attention to the risk I was taking.'

MUSIC: "Run The World" by Beyonce

Nobody knew I was pregnant during that performance

and I'm cool with that.

I'm not interested in a free ride.

But it absolutely proved to me

that women have to work much harder to make it in this world.

It really pisses me off that women

don't get the same opportunities as men do,

or money for that matter.

Because, let's face it, money gives men the power to run the show.

It gives men the power to define our values

and to define what's sexy and what's feminine,

and that's bullshit.

At the end of the day, it's not about equal rights,

it's about how we think.

We have to reshape our own perception of how we view ourselves.

You all ready? Are you ready? Here we go.

'We have to step up as women and take the lead

'and reach as high as humanly possible.

'That's what I'm going to do, that's my philosophy,

'and that's what Girls is all about.'

# You can't hold me

# I work my nine to five Better cut my cheque

# This goes out to all the women getting it in

# You on your grind

# To the other men that respect what I do

# Please accept my shine

# Boy, you know you love it

# How we're smart enough to make these millions

# Strong enough to bear the children

# Then get back to business

# See, you better not play me

# Don't come here, baby

# Hope you still like me

# Hey, hey

# My persuasion

# Can build a nation

# Endless power

# Our love we can devour

# You'll do anything for me

# Who run this world?

# What do we run? What do we run?

# Girls. #

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Thank you.

It's my honour to present my daughter Beyonce

with the Billboard Millennium Award.

CHEERING

I'd like to start off by thanking my foundation, which is my family.

Mom, you have taught me everything I know by example

and you are a phenomenal woman and I love you so much.

And I love you too, Jules.

I'd like to thank my father for teaching me so much

about the music industry and teaching me about drive

and teaching me about work ethic. Thank you, Dad.

I'd also like to thank my best friend.

Now, I don't want to put you on the spot, cos I know they're probably

putting a camera in your face right now, but I love me some Jay-Z.

CHEERING

What you about to do? Talk to us.

- I am experiencing... - Oh, I got a great shot right now.

Oh, you don't even know how good this shot is.

I am experiencing Utopia.

Life is just beautiful right now.

What's she saying? Utopia? About how the light is...

Life could not be any more fantastic. It is perfect.

Everything that we worked for is right here, right in this moment.

It is just amazing.

Look at this beautiful nature that God created

that I'm about to jump into right now,

with my friend that I love and my husband.

Yes. Thanks be to Jesus.

MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO

Oh, and my nephew's song comes on. Of course.

Ah! Life is but a dream.

# Wide boy, wide boy, wide boy

# Wide boy, wide boy, wide boy

# Baby boy, you stay on my mind

# Fulfil my fantasies

# I think about you all the time

# I see you in my dreams

# Baby boy, not a day goes by without my fantasies

# I think about you all the time I see you in my dreams

# Ah, oh, my baby's fly baby, oh

# Yes, no, hurt me so good baby, oh

# I'm so wrapped up in your love Let me go

# Let me breathe Stay out my fantasies

# Baby boy, you stay on my mind Baby boy, you are so damn fine

# Baby boy, won't you be mine?

# Baby boy

# Top top girl, me and you together is a wrap dat girl

# Driving around da town in your drop top girl, no stop shock girl

# Little more da dutty We'll rock dat world

# Top top girl, me and you together is a wrap dat girl

# Driving around da town in your drop top girl, no stop shock girl

# Little more da dutty We'll rock dat world

- # Little more da dutty We'll rock dat world - Come on

# Little more da dutty We'll rock dat world. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I think people have an idea in their heads

about entertainers, celebrities.

I think they feel like their lives are so perfect,

and it's really hard to go through painful experiences

when you're in the public eye, because it's hard to have closure.

About two years ago, I was pregnant for the first time

and I heard the heartbeat,

which was the most beautiful music I've ever heard in my life.

And there's something that happens when you hear the heartbeat.

It makes you...truly know that there's life inside of you.

I...picked out names,

I envisioned what my child looked like.

I was feeling very maternal - my first child...

with the man that I love.

My family was so excited.

I flew back to New York to get my check-up...

..and...

..no heartbeat.

Literally, the week before I went to the doctor,

everything was fine,

but there was no heartbeat.

I went into the studio

and wrote the saddest song I've ever written in my life,

and it was actually the first song I wrote for my album.

And it was the best form of therapy for me

because it was the saddest thing I've ever been through.

# I guess love just wasn't enough

# For us to survive

# I swear, I swear

# I swear I tried

# You took the life right out of me

# I'm so unlucky I can't breathe

# You took the life right out of me, me, me, me, me

# I'm longing for your heartbeat

# Heartbeat, heartbeat... #

People see celebrities and they seem like their life is great

and they have money and fame and fans

and it's almost like you can't touch them.

- SHOUTING - Beyonce!

But I'm a human being - I cry.

I'm extremely sensitive and my feelings get hurt

and I get scared, I get nervous, just like everyone else.

Go, go, go, go!

I always battle with, how much do I reveal about myself?

How do I keep my humility? How do I keep...

my spirit and the reality?

And how do I continue to be generous to my fans and to my craft?

And how do I stay current, but I how do I stay soulful?

It is the battle of my life.

ROARING OF FANS

- Beyonce! Beyonce! - Stand by. We're walking.

When I walk onto a stage, I'm able to come out of my shell

and be as fabulous and over the top

and strong and powerful as I want to be.

I get to live out my fantasies and be who a lot of people want to be,

and I think that's why you come to see a show - to be entertained

and to kind of live through whoever the performer is on stage.

You look in the audience and you see this little girl that was me

when I was looking at Michael or Janet or Tina Turner.

And there's no way I'm not gonna give 100%,

cos I remember being that girl.

And I'm still that girl.

BEAT KICKS IN

# Boy, come to me... #

Atlantic City.

Atlantic City!

We gonna have us a good ol' time tonight.

One, two, three!

MUSIC PLAYS

Come on! Make some noise.

I don't hear you. Make some noise!

CROWD ROARS Come on!

CROWD ROARS

# I'll be your baby I promise not to let you go

# Love you like crazy Say you'll never let me go

# Say you'll never let me go Say you'll never let me go

# Say you'll never let me go Say you'll never let me go

# Take you away from here

# There's nothing between us but space and time

# I'll be your own little star Let me shine in your world

# Be your own little universe Make me your girl

# Come take my hand

# I won't let you go I'll be your friend

# I will love you so deeply

# I will be the one to kiss you at night

# Kiss you at night... # All right, y'all, sing!

# I'll be your baby I promise not to let you go

# Love you like crazy Say you'll never let me go, hey!

# Say you'll never let me go Say you'll never let me go

# Say you'll never let me go Say you'll never let me go

# Baby, come on get up on it Show me that you really want it

# I wanna be the one to love you baby, let's go

# Oh oh, let's go

# I wanna provide this loving that you're giving

I ain't frontin' in this love

# Can you let me love you from your head to toe?

# Oh oh, let's go

- # Boy, come to me - Come to me

# Let me turn your rain into sun

# Let me love you, baby

# Oh no

# Oh no

One, two, three, here we go!

# I just wanna love you

# I just wanna live for you!

# I'll never let you go

# Bring your love to me

- # I won't let you go - Hey

# I'll be your friend I wanna love you so

- # Ha ha - I will be the one to kiss you at night

# Kiss you at night... # All right!

# I will be your baby I promise not to let you go

# Love you like crazy

# Say you'll never let me go... # Come on!

# Say you'll never let me go Say you'll never let me go

- # Say you'll never let me go - Say you'll never let me go. #

Atlantic City, I love you all.

CHEERING

# Love you like crazy

# Say you'll never let me go! #

# Say you'll never let me go Say you'll never let me go... #

# Say you'll never let me go Say you'll never let me go. #

Please, please bear with us.

We will do our absolute best to get as many of you in as we can,

but at this moment in time, if we can't,

we apologise in advance and please, as it was explained to you guys

at the time we checked your ticket, there was a chance

you may indeed not be able to get in to see tonight's show.

- Can you hear me, Ria? - Yeah. - OK.

What key is I Miss You?

I been watching the dancers and they're doing a move,

you know, we're doing only a single chorus the second time around.

We don't know what we're doing.

- So how many dancers do we have, Frank? - We don't know yet.

I don't know if I'm using five for I Miss You

and five for...I Was Here.

We're trying to do the impossible.

We've got so many people trying to be creative

and it confuses the issue, you know?

I'm trying to wrap myself around it, I'm trying to be humble,

I'm not trying to lose my mind.

It's a lot. It's just really, really a lot.

Can you show me one of your set lists?

Crazy, Irreplaceable, If I Were A Boy, Best Thing I Never,

End Of Time...then I lost track of where we were, so...

SCREAMING

MUSIC PLAYS

APPLAUSE

Did y'all tape the whole performance or just that one?

We were stopping and starting. We were stopping it there because...

OK. Can I see the next one? MUSIC PLAYS

Can I see the next song?

Play the next one.

I think it looks really messy.

It is, you know, early times for the lighting guys still...

- How was it? - OK. So should I wait before I have notes?

Cos I have a million.

I just don't wanna give them prematurely and it's not done yet.

- Or too late. - Yeah. - I think we should give them as many notes

- as we can now, while we can. - Yeah, I think so. - Mmm.

Well, in general, the set looks really fake.

It's... It just doesn't make sense to me.

The whole purpose of the set is the background and the people

and the floor and the instruments, everything is supposed to be white.

But the way you all are lighting it,

it doesn't matter because you can't tell what the set is doing

cos there's red and purple light.

- No, I don't know. - Right. The side should be all white.

All white. So we'll go all white.

- Yeah, yeah. - We've got guys to do it tonight. - OK. I mean,

- I said that yesterday. - Right, yeah. No, everything should be white.

OK, so let's start rehearsing.

'After I get off the stage, I have to throw up and I'm, like,

'fighting my way to the dressing room, trying to hold it in.

'I mean, they keep putting me in these tight clothes

'and midriff tops and now I'm showing and trying to hide it.

'It's very difficult.'

OK. Thank you, baby.

All right, all right. Thank you.

And having to do all this choreography...

I don't know how I'ma get through this.

- Do we have a final set list yet, Chris? - Negative.

- And it's day of show? - Day of show.

- Well, Nick... - Yeah? - ..how we looking?

- White. - Are you happy? - Erm...

Did they paint it white?

Yeah, they did. Well, I mean, they were painting last night.

I've got my white camera here.

I've made myself some white headphones,

then I've always got the piece de resistance.

Then no-one will see me.

- But that looks like... - Beyonce has cut her management down.

You see all these people brown-nosing

and I call it posturing for position.

You see all these people vying for power

and they go into other departments.

I just hope that everybody stays in their lane -

you always hear that being said, stay in their lane,

and more than ever that needs to happen.

You can come into my lane, but come into my lane by saying,

put on your blinker, put on your right signal and say,

"OK, I'm coming over here into your lane to show you

"how to turn better right," and that's fine.

But just don't come into my lane and bogart.

- Oh, the A doesn't need to change. - OK.

I say that 100 times and once again nobody listens.

- But you want her to face this way? Or... - I don't care.

- As long as you see it. - As long as we see her. - OK.

It's like shopping.

Not quite.

- I'm here. - Hello. Can everybody just step in here? I wanna talk.

I just wanna be clear, because this thing's, like, a bit of a mess,

- which is why I had to step away... - Yeah, it's a mess.

..because there's too many people giving too many directions and...

'You know, my father taught me so much about being a businesswoman

'and I'm understanding him a lot now and I think I've realised

'that business and being polite, it doesn't match.'

I mean, you can be fair but...

Me being polite was not me being fair to myself,

and now I'm learning how political things are

and a lot of the crazy things he did was necessary.

# I thought that things like this get better with time

# But I still need you

# Why is that? #

'It has been very difficult.

'I'm the calmest, most confident person,'

and the producers and the studios

and the networks are all panicking and hyper and over-stressed

and I'm just, like, "Press record."

# Words don't ever seem to come out right, but I still miss... #

'Sometimes I think, "Should I just retire?"'

Maybe you've realised that all you need is you.

Well, I don't. That's not true.

All I need is not me, because I can't do it by myself.

Girls, you know costumes are what they are, you all know what that is.

There's no way in hell you go out

with your head not sewn in or something.

You're supposed to do that yourself.

But it doesn't stay on your head like that.

Yeah, but you can make that stay on your head if you sew it in.

Right. I don't know how to sew in. I can't do that.

Yeah, but you can. That's bullshit. That's why...you know...

You got that weave on your head, you can get that hat on your head.

- I don't do my weave! - Well, whatever. Somebody in your house.

That's bullshit. That's what I don't like...

Nobody's gotta make motherfucking Frank right, you understand?

I can take this motherfucking hat and go get me some glue,

I can go get me some Super Glue, I can do whatever and get this hat on my head.

That's bullshit. I hate shit like that, Ashley.

Nobody needs to help you but your motherfucking self.

- OK. - You understand? - Mh-mm. - Nobody but yourself.

Think about it.

You should be focused on this shit until it's done,

you understand? Until it's done.

- Any last words, Declan? - No, we're going down together, man.

You first, I'm right behind you.

- Have a good show, bro. - Thank you.

I was laying in the bed and I felt the baby kick for the first time.

Made me cry. Kicked five times.

I'm so excited.

I've been waiting for that moment.

I want it to do it again!

So hopefully it'll do it again, and Jay can feel it.

It's so beautiful.

My life is a journey. It seems like I set a goal....

In some kind of way I accomplish it and then I set another one.

And my goal was trusting myself and my goal was growth.

'And I believe I had to go through my miscarriage,

'I believe I had to go through owning my own company and managing myself.'

It's a constant battle and ultimately your independence

comes from you knowing who you are and you being happy with yourself.

# Got me lookin' so crazy right now, right now... #

CHEERING

# Your love's got me lookin' so crazy right now...

# Got me lookin' so crazy right now, right now...

# Your love's got me lookin' so crazy right now

# Right now...

Yes, so crazy right now!

Most incredibly, she's the girl...

CROWD: Beyonce, Beyonce, Beyonce, Beyonce, Beyonce, Beyonce, Beyonce!

'Sometimes when I just wanna be an artist and have fun

'and do what I love, I have to be serious and I have to

'think things through and I have to think about finance and I have to

'think about what's practical and I have to think about the future

'and think about my investments and think about if things make sense.

'And sometimes art doesn't make sense, it just comes from the heart

'and it doesn't have to make sense.'

Good night, guys. CHEERING

- Rob, Rob, Rob! - SHOUTS AND YELLING

So this is my belly.

I am 20 weeks

and I have the MTV Awards coming up and,

as you can see,

little pom-pom is ready for the world to know

that he or she is here.

I think I'm gonna have to just... throw in the towel and,

if you can see that I'm pregnant, I'll just have to...own it,

so I may be...

Well, my baby may be debuting itself on the awards.

I'm going to be a mommy.

Tonight I want you to stand up on your feet.

I want you to feel the love that's growing inside of me.

Hey! Whoo! Bring the beat in.

Hey! Put your hands together.

# Honey, honey... #

In my hardest moments, where I thought, "What am I doing?

"I'm not strong enough for this, I can't get through this,

"I'm not ready," I just have to say, "Jump,"

because I know I'm gonna land in that water, swim back on the boat

and I'm gonna jump again and land in the water and swim back on the boat.

I have to trust myself.

# Come on, baby, it's you

# You're the one that gives your all

# You're the one I can always call

# When I need you, baby everything stops

# Finally you put my love on top

# Baby, cos you're the one that I love

# Baby, you're the one that I need

# You're the only one I see

# Baby, baby, it's you

# You're the one that gives your all

# You're the one I always call

# When I need you, baby everything stops

# Finally you put my love on top

# Baby, cos you're the one that I love

# Baby, you're the one that I need

# You're the only thing I see

# Come on, baby, it's you

# You're the one that gives your all

# You're the one I always call

# When I need you, baby everything stops

# Finally you put my love on top. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

- That was awesome. - Awesome. Awesome. Thank you.

- I'm free! - Yeah. - Whoo! We're all free. - Yeah.

- Whoo! - Was it good?

- You married a musician. - I did.

Is that a coincidence?

I think me marrying a musician is a coincidence.

I mean, we connected because we both performed

and we both had similar lifestyles, but we connected...

..on a spiritual level and he just so happened to be a musician.

OK. Well, I don't know where to start.

I just want to thank you, everybody, for coming.

A lot of you guys just got the call cos the baby

and I know you all had to drop a lot of things to come.

And this wouldn't be anything without everybody here

and you all are here because you all are special to Jay

therefore you're special to me. Anybody he loves, I love.

This is nothing compared to what you've done for me

and not only me, but everybody here.

You taught me so many things.

I was 20 years old when we first started dating.

You taught me how to be a woman.

You taught me how to live.

You taught me how to be a friend.

You've given me so much in life and this is not enough.

There's not enough I can give you.

I just want you to be happy

and every year I'm even more in love with you

and I want to spend every day of my life with you.

Happy birthday, and I thank God for you every day.

He's taught me so much about being an artist.

Not a musician, but an artist.

and fighting for what I believe and having my standards.

I'm, like most women, very generous and I'll compromise

and he doesn't compromise his art. And I used to be so afraid

of people thinking I was difficult or too critical

and you know, I don't really care about that any more,

as long as it's for the right reason, and I learned that from him.

# And all the things you do... #

What was it called, baby?

# And it was called yellow... #

'I just pray that Jay and I stay a team cos right now we are

'really connected and really are communicating well

'and completely understand each other, support each other

'and need each other. This baby has made me love him

'more than I ever thought I could love another human being.

'It's just I love him so much, like, we almost feel like one.

'I just don't know how to describe it.'

# Something beautiful...

# I love you so... #

Let's sing it one more time.

# Jay, Jay, I love you so. #

What a breeze, what a breeze.

'I hope I remember this when the baby comes and it gets tough

'cos it's going to be an adjustment cos this feeling is so beautiful.

'It's every woman's dream to feel this way about someone.'

- RADIO CLIPS: - 'Beyonce has hired a surrogate mother

'to carry her and Jay-Z's child.'

'Beyonce's going to use a surrogate so she can maintain her body.'

'If they use a surrogate...'

'..then they'll play it off like they gave birth.'

It's a stupid rumour. It's actually the most ridiculous rumour

I think I've ever had about me. But there are actually

a lot of people that believe this rumour and it's crazy.

I guess there are some crazy celebrities in the world

so we get a bad rep.

But...to think that I would be that vain

and...I respect mothers and women so much

and to be able to experience bringing a child into this world,

if you are lucky and fortunate enough to experience that,

I would never, ever take that for granted.

I mean, it's the most powerful thing you can ever do in your life,

and especially after losing a child.

The pain and trauma from that just makes it mean so much more

to get an opportunity to bring life into the world.

It's something that you have to respect.

It just seems like people should have boundaries.

There are certain things that you just shouldn't...play around with

and a child, you don't play around with that.

Have you ever been lied to?

Have you ever been hurt?

Had a hard time forgiving?

I want you all to help me sing.

# I wish I could believe you

# Then I'll be all right

# But now everything you told me

# Really don't apply

# To the way I feel inside

# Loving you was easy

# Once upon a time

# But now my suspicions of you

# Have multiplied

# And it's all because you lied

# I only give you a hard time

# Cos I can't go on and pretend like

# I haven't tried to forget this

# But I'm much too full of resentment

# Just can't seem to get over

# The way you hurt me

# Don't know how you gave another

# Who didn't mean a thing, no

# The very thing

# You gave to me

# I thought I could forgive you

# And I know you've changed

# As much as I wanna trust you

# I know it ain't the same

# And it's all because you lied

# I only give you a hard time

# Cos I can't go on and pretend like

# I haven't tried to forget this

# But I'm much too full of resentment

# I may never understand why

# I'm doing the best that I can and I

# I have been trying to forget this

# But I'm much too full of resentment

# I'll never forget feeling

# Like I was no good

# Like I couldn't do it for you

# Like that wack bitch could

# And it's all...

# I loved you more than ever

# More than my own life

# The best part of me I gave you

# Did with sacrifice, yeah

# And it's all because you lied

# You lied, you lied

# You lied

# I know she was attractive

# But I was here first

# Been riding with you for six years

# Why did I deserve

# To be treated this way by you

# I know you're probably thinking

# "What's up with B?"

# I'm crying

# Can't stop crying

# Can't stop crying

# You could've told me

# You weren't happy

# I know you didn't want to hurt me

# But look what you done done to me now

# I gotta look at her in her eyes

# And see she's had half of me

# She ain't even half of me

# Look what you done done to me now

# And it's all because you lied. #

CHEERING

Thank you all.

This is a song written by Julez.

# Blue, Blue, Blue I'm so in love with you

# Mm mm mm I want to hold you and kiss you

# So hurry up and get out of there quickly, Blue

# Ooh. #

This is your big cousin, yo.

'The baby is coming in three weeks.'

'I feel...anxious.'

'These last three weeks are my last weeks

'responsible for myself

'so I'm trying my best to take care of my child-like self

'and enjoy my freedom, I guess,

'for the last three weeks.

'This is going to be nothing in comparison to having a child.'

It was my biggest fear. You hear women and they're, like,

"I want 12 kids. I'm a nature woman."

I was like, "I am scared to death."

I was scared and because I was afraid

I did all my research and I just kept thinking,

"I was made for this. God made me for this.

"This is beyond me. I was born for this.

"My body is going to do what it's supposed to do.

"Let it be, relax."

And it was the most beautiful experience of my life.

It was amazing. It was amazing!

I can't believe it, I really can't.

This was life.

I felt like God was giving me a chance to assist in a miracle.

There's something so relieving about life taking over you like that.

You're playing a part in a much bigger show,

and that's what life is.

It's the greatest show on earth.

My baby was born out of a conflict in my life

and that struggle had to be settled.

If I wouldn't have gone through the pain, if I hadn't gone down the path,

I'd probably be touring right now

or shooting videos or editing a TV special.

There's no drum roll or trumpet that goes off

when you make the biggest decision in your life.

Sometimes you don't even know that you've made them.

Do you see the microphone? Look. Say, "Hi, microphone."

OK.

I don't know why I'm so fortunate and so blessed.

And I know that my mom always told me

that my grandmother was in the church, lighting candles

and praying for her.

And...I am...

a result of my grandmother's prayers.

And my mother prays for me all the time

and I pray for my daughter all the time

and God is real and God lives inside of me

and inside of all of us.

And it doesn't matter where I am, I know that and I feel it.

Like, right now I'm hot, you know? It's a tingling.

It's like... It's love.

I feel it when I look at my child, I feel it when I look at my husband.

It's God.

HE SINGS LULLABY

Look how handsome and beautiful you all are.

'I believe everything in our life, every person in our life,

'every relationship, everything is there for a reason.

'And when you really pay attention,

'there are certain little clues we get.

'It's so crystal clear what the next step is.'

It's just this puzzle and everything is in its right place

and, as we grow, we take the next step, the dots get connected

and we eventually become what we're supposed to be.

Everybody stand up on your feet.

You know I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

I get to stand up on this stage and entertain all y'all.

And for two hours, y'all are not thinking about your break-ups,

your money, your problems.

Y'all are just having a good old time.

That's what I get to do.

Damn. I'ma give you everything I have, I promise.

I want you all to stand up, put your hands up.

Put your hands up.

One, two, three, four.