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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:20,000 Resync to UNRATED 720p WEB-DL version by OlyOrvabl� 2 00:00:28,329 --> 00:00:30,559 Nothing is more inspiring 3 00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:33,599 than the tale of a sports hero. 4 00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:37,364 But this story is about the other guy... 5 00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:39,206 The loser. 6 00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:39,729 The loser. 7 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:42,866 And as you'll see, even failure has its champion. 8 00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:44,376 His name? 9 00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:45,911 Lambeau Fields. 10 00:00:46,013 --> 00:00:47,446 To me, he's a hero, 11 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,379 an inspiration and a friend. 12 00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:51,178 To the rest of the world, 13 00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:54,311 he's the worst coach in the history of sports. 14 00:00:54,422 --> 00:00:55,719 Hey, Bill! 15 00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:57,154 Buckner! 16 00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:58,384 What? 17 00:00:58,492 --> 00:00:59,652 What's a six-letter word 18 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:00,954 for a tropical fruit? 19 00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:02,427 Not now. 20 00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:04,395 I'm thinking it might be "banana"! 21 00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:06,056 Zip it. Be quiet. 22 00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:07,759 Could be "papaya"! 23 00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:09,836 Fields, this is the World Series, man- are you crazy? 24 00:01:09,937 --> 00:01:12,337 Slow roller down to first. 25 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,601 It gets through Buckner's legs! The Mets win! 26 00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:15,732 The Mets win! 27 00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:17,606 It's "papaya." 28 00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:23,178 Let's go! 29 00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:30,451 Whoa! 30 00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,423 That's on me. 31 00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:36,462 Marco, come here. 32 00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:39,431 Go tell Zidane, tell him I said... 33 00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:45,670 Go tell him I said that. 34 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:48,105 Ta mere est une vielle... terroriste. 35 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:55,104 I don't remember saying "chain-smoking." 36 00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:58,515 Being labeled the biggest loser in the history of mankind 37 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:01,486 finally got to old Coach Fields, 38 00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:03,614 and he hit rock bottom. 39 00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:04,952 Coach? 40 00:02:05,059 --> 00:02:06,993 Freddie. Good to see you. 41 00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:08,652 My God, 42 00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:10,354 I hardly recognized you. 43 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,329 I bought a new hat. 44 00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:13,991 Nice. 45 00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:16,296 It's good to see you, buddy. 46 00:02:16,403 --> 00:02:17,870 I got a proposition for you. 47 00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:19,439 All right. Let's walk and talk. 48 00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:20,564 I'm late for work. 49 00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:21,971 Yeah. 50 00:02:22,076 --> 00:02:24,704 Hey, Manuel, Javier, Sanchez, Cornelio, new guy. 51 00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:27,110 Hola, Coach. 52 00:02:27,214 --> 00:02:28,806 They ride the horses. 53 00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:32,647 Coach wasn't exactly coaching anymore. 54 00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:34,516 His job was to help facilitate 55 00:02:34,622 --> 00:02:36,817 the continuation of the noble Seabiscuit lineage. 56 00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:38,949 It was about helping out Mother Nature. 57 00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:41,084 To draw forth the building blocks 58 00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:43,220 of the champion D.N.A. Which- 59 00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:45,594 Aw, hell. He was yanking off horses. 60 00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:48,395 So, tell me about this big offer of yours. 61 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,902 There's this small college in Plainfolk, Texas- 62 00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:52,700 Heartland State University. 63 00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:55,900 It's got a beautiful campus and awesome athletic program. 64 00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:58,001 They need a new head football coach. 65 00:02:58,112 --> 00:03:00,774 Me go back to coaching? 66 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:03,540 Oh. Sorry. 67 00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:05,619 Okay. 68 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:08,988 Listen, Coach... 69 00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:12,183 you and me we've been through wars together, right? 70 00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:13,988 And no matter what anybody says, 71 00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:16,562 I mean, you're one of the best leaders ever. 72 00:03:16,664 --> 00:03:18,564 It's time for you to get back into coaching. 73 00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,099 I appreciate it, 74 00:03:20,201 --> 00:03:21,532 but I'm happy here. 75 00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:24,263 For once in my life, I'm proud of what I'm doing. 76 00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:28,973 I said no! No means no! 77 00:03:29,076 --> 00:03:31,340 You know what no means. 78 00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:34,312 Aah! You just finish yourself. 79 00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:35,746 Aah! 80 00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:37,373 Thanks anyway, buddy. 81 00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:40,385 Good to see ya. 82 00:03:40,487 --> 00:03:42,819 Uh, I shouldn't, 'cause, you know... 83 00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:44,413 I got a terrible cold. 84 00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:49,462 Coming up on Fox Sports News, Maria Sharapova battles 85 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,963 the mighty Venus Williams at the Australian Open. 86 00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:02,508 Here, Maria! 87 00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:05,272 - Smile! - Right here! 88 00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:06,607 Coach? 89 00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:08,978 There you are. 90 00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:13,444 Is something wrong? 91 00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:16,546 Freddie Wiseman came to see me today. 92 00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,682 Told me about a coaching job. 93 00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,259 College football. 94 00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:22,329 But I said no. 95 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,590 I told him I'm out. 96 00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:27,189 Sweetie... 97 00:04:27,301 --> 00:04:28,290 are you sure? 98 00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:30,893 I mean, coaching is in your blood. 99 00:04:31,005 --> 00:04:34,270 Like-like hepatitis C or... or traces of cocaine. 100 00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:37,476 I don't know, Barb. 101 00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,705 It would mean moving again. 102 00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:42,281 You know, this house is perfect for us. 103 00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:43,850 Look at this den. 104 00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,145 It's already filled 105 00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:47,220 with sports memorabilia and trophies. 106 00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:48,583 You know, it's not too late 107 00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:50,623 for you to get a trophy of your own. 108 00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:53,318 That'd be something, wouldn't it? 109 00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:55,486 Oh, come on. 110 00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:58,087 Coaching is a Fields family tradition 111 00:04:58,198 --> 00:05:01,656 like cockfighting or identity theft. 112 00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:03,566 That's true. 113 00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,803 Maybe I will give it another shot. 114 00:05:09,043 --> 00:05:10,943 Yeah! You can't keep a legend 115 00:05:11,045 --> 00:05:13,309 in the shadows for long. 116 00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:15,143 Set! 117 00:05:15,249 --> 00:05:16,876 Hut! 118 00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,474 Honey... 119 00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,589 Honey, honey, 120 00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:24,021 honey, um... 121 00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:27,582 just promise me that you won't get so consumed by winning 122 00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:29,822 that you completely forget about this family. 123 00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,363 What?! 124 00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:33,262 Family comes first. 125 00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:34,595 You know that. 126 00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:36,829 Really? And how many of Michelle's 127 00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:39,462 gymnastics meets have you been to? 128 00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:40,562 Michelle? 129 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:41,834 Your daughter. 130 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,409 Oh, of course, Michelle. 131 00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:46,238 What the hell was that? 132 00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:47,279 Your son. 133 00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:48,109 Scruffy! 134 00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:49,409 Jeffrey! 135 00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:50,983 Well, someone's name is Scruffy. 136 00:05:51,085 --> 00:05:53,519 Scruffy was your dog when you were ten. I... 137 00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:55,952 See, honey, this is exactly what I'm talking about. 138 00:06:01,295 --> 00:06:02,853 Hello. 139 00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:04,555 Sorry, wrong number. 140 00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,133 That was the police. 141 00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:10,863 They're looking for the parents of a girl named Michelle. 142 00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:12,302 What? 143 00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:16,035 Don't worry, sweetie. 144 00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:18,202 We're gonna get through this. 145 00:06:18,312 --> 00:06:21,577 Honey, that's not Michelle. 146 00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:27,413 Michelle Fields, 147 00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,614 you have been charged with property damage, 148 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:34,251 robbery, arson, indecent exposure 149 00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:36,955 and being an insatiable cock tease. 150 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:40,056 That got a lot of hits on YouTube. 151 00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:41,225 Therefore, 152 00:06:41,335 --> 00:06:43,997 I hereby sentence you to rejoin 153 00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:46,868 the USA Gymnastics Team. 154 00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:47,941 No! 155 00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:49,668 Why would you do this to me? 156 00:06:51,145 --> 00:06:53,079 Hey, Tommy B. Yeah, Lawdog here. 157 00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:55,546 Listen, I wanna put 50 grand on the US womens gymnastic team 158 00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:57,116 to win the gold in Beijing. 159 00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:59,082 Thanks, buddy. 160 00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:06,216 Oh, shit. 161 00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:07,987 I have my reasons. 162 00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:11,425 This is all your fault! 163 00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,432 Oh, sweet Jesus. 164 00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:17,099 How could this happen? 165 00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:21,173 It's okay, Coach, it's all right. 166 00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:22,765 We'll get through this. 167 00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:24,400 We're getting a ticket! 168 00:07:24,511 --> 00:07:26,274 I knew that was a loading zone! 169 00:07:26,380 --> 00:07:27,938 So Coach took the job 170 00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:30,915 at Heartland State and made a promise to his family 171 00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:32,076 that he wouldn't forget 'em. 172 00:07:32,186 --> 00:07:33,517 - Wait! Wait a second! - Dad, wait up! 173 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:37,021 - Dad! - Coach! 174 00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:39,592 You take one down You pass it around 175 00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:42,628 They settled in Plainfolk, Texas. 176 00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:44,629 A sleepy little town, 177 00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:47,700 so cozy that it didn't even have a traffic light. 178 00:07:50,471 --> 00:07:53,804 No more bottles of beer on the wall 179 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,204 Coach Fields was back in the game- 180 00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:59,871 but this time, he really had his work cut out for him. 181 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,414 Welcome to your first practice, gentlemen. 182 00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:06,384 Hope you're ready for the worst six weeks of your life. 183 00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:09,682 I'm gonna do things to your bodies 184 00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:12,918 that are cruel, painful and unnatural. 185 00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:16,587 I'm gonna ride your ass 186 00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:19,825 day and night. 187 00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,560 I'm gonna make you bleed 188 00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,863 from places that you've never bled from before. 189 00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:26,997 It's gonna hurt bad. 190 00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:31,403 It's gonna hurt deep. 191 00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:34,378 Then it's gonna start to feel good. 192 00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:38,281 Then it's gonna hurt again. 193 00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:44,019 Now, I need to get this team down to a 32-man roster, 194 00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:46,422 which means some of you ladies are gonna be cut. 195 00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:49,087 Starting with you, you 196 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,788 - and you. - Hey, Coach, we didn't even 197 00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:52,263 get a chance to play yet. 198 00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:54,357 If there's one thing I can spot, it's talent. 199 00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:56,402 Coach, we're the only players on this team who can play. 200 00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,198 Wait, man, how do you think you get these? 201 00:08:58,305 --> 00:08:59,966 - Huh? - EBay. 202 00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:02,638 Maybe next year, guys. 203 00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:04,404 Thanks for coming out. 204 00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:06,502 All right, let's see if I've got 205 00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:09,013 anybody else out here worth a damn. 206 00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:10,879 Randy Randinger! 207 00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:12,679 - Here, Coach. - Where? 208 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:13,912 Right here, sir. 209 00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:16,012 I'm ready to give it my all. 210 00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:18,216 I'll do whatever it takes to make this team. 211 00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:20,350 Refill the waters, get fresh towels... 212 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,223 buff everyone's helmet. 213 00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:25,326 Oh... 214 00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:26,626 that helmet. 215 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,860 I thought you were talking about something else. 216 00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:30,459 Good. We got a towel boy. 217 00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:31,538 Next- 218 00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:33,503 Buddy Boy Jones! 219 00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:35,598 All right! I got me 220 00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:37,768 a big, mean son of a bitch! 221 00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:41,245 I wouldn't hurt a fly, Coach. 222 00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:42,713 Football is war, son. 223 00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,579 You got to be a killer. 224 00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:48,384 Ow! 225 00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:50,388 I'm telling on you! 226 00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:55,126 Next, ACL Tear! 227 00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:59,028 It's pronounced "Aseel," sir. 228 00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:00,724 Aseel Tare. 229 00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,825 ACL Tear. Got it. 230 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:06,372 It says here you rushed for a thousand yards last season. 231 00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:08,703 Keep it up, you could turn pro. 232 00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:09,776 Hope so, Coach. 233 00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:11,776 Nothing can hold you back. 234 00:10:11,878 --> 00:10:14,278 Except an unforeseen career-ending injury. 235 00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:17,782 What are the odds of that happening, ACL Tear? 236 00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:20,182 It's Aseel, sir. Aseel Tare. 237 00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:23,989 Got it. ACL Tear. 238 00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:26,150 Right there. 239 00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,920 Is that a radio I hear? 240 00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:29,222 No, that's just I Pod. 241 00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:37,331 Whoa! 242 00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,903 God, what a retarded ass retard. 243 00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:43,603 Hey! 244 00:10:43,710 --> 00:10:46,201 I don't ever want to hear that word again! 245 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,905 You're talking about a person, 246 00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:50,108 a human being! 247 00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:51,684 Come here, son. 248 00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:55,016 He may be a moronic cretin, 249 00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:56,680 a drooling mush head, 250 00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:58,690 a short bus-riding, window-licking 251 00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:00,282 spaz-ass simpleton, 252 00:11:00,394 --> 00:11:02,919 but he is not a retard. 253 00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:04,793 If there's one thing I do not tolerate, 254 00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:06,525 that's disrespect. 255 00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:11,003 Okay, I Pod. 256 00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:14,440 How'd you like to be my assistant? 257 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,403 Yeah. 258 00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:19,877 Let this be a lesson for all of you. 259 00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:22,608 You judge not, lest ye be judged. 260 00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:25,879 It's time someone gives this man a chance. 261 00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:27,453 To once and for all show that- 262 00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:30,352 Okay, that's enough. All right, get him off me. 263 00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:31,513 Get him off me. 264 00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:44,394 Here comes Trotter, here comes Trotter. 265 00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:45,971 Here come who? 266 00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:48,405 Trotter, Trotter, he's a star. 267 00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:50,635 Touchdown, Trotter, touchdown. 268 00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:52,541 What's this all about? 269 00:11:52,646 --> 00:11:54,170 What's it to you, old man? 270 00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:56,146 This "old man" is your new coach. 271 00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:57,807 I want you suited up 272 00:11:57,918 --> 00:12:00,614 in two minutes, or you're off my squad. 273 00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:03,053 Looks like we gonna have us a problem, then. 274 00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:05,283 You know that, right? 275 00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:08,460 Figurin' out what to do with the other 276 00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:09,654 minute and 99 seconds. 277 00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:20,967 Let's get something straight, Trotter. 278 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:24,271 I don't like the ego, I don't like the flash, 279 00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:26,311 I don't like that... my daughter is 280 00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:27,812 coming out of your limo. 281 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:28,972 Damn! 282 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,743 What are you doing in there? 283 00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:33,285 Just, um, getting a ride to school 284 00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:35,286 with my new boyfriend 285 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,618 and... lover. 286 00:12:38,692 --> 00:12:39,920 Oh, please, 287 00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:42,153 this is just another one of your rebellious stunts 288 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,422 trying to make me mad. 289 00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,157 It's not a stunt, Dad. 290 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:48,325 It's just me having a boyfriend... 291 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,835 who happens to be black. 292 00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,736 See you later. 293 00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:59,638 Black boyfriend. 294 00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:02,010 Damn! 295 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,776 All right! 296 00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:05,977 Any walk-ons? 297 00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:09,515 Hey, Coach. 298 00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,318 Name is Vince. 299 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:13,856 I'm just a bartender from Philly 300 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,291 whose only dream is to play ball. 301 00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:17,522 It's all I got left 302 00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:20,293 after I lost my job teaching and my wife left me. 303 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:23,062 Like my alcoholic father used to say before he passed on, 304 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:26,571 "A man can only take so much failure!" 305 00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:29,767 I promise to give you everything I got. 306 00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:31,241 What do you say, Coach? 307 00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:36,638 I say you can add "Did not make the football team" 308 00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:38,547 to your list of woes. 309 00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:41,177 Now beat it, buzzkill. 310 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:47,258 Okay, ladies, show time! 311 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,260 Offense, hit the line! 312 00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:51,023 Defense, give 'em hell! 313 00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:53,224 Let's see what you boys got! 314 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,028 Not you. 315 00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:59,230 All right! 316 00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:04,844 Hike the damn ball! 317 00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:09,841 I suppose we don't have a quarterback. 318 00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:15,349 All right! 319 00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:17,389 Still don't have a quarterback. 320 00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,583 Any other positions we need to fill? 321 00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:22,025 We need a kicker. Can I be kicker, Coach? 322 00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:23,425 I'll steam up your wiener 323 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,430 and stick it between my buns. 324 00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:30,800 Oh. 325 00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:32,428 That wiener. 326 00:14:32,606 --> 00:14:35,268 Yeah, this is great. 327 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,366 Middle of Bumfuck, Nowhere. 328 00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:40,310 How am I gonna find an all-American quarterback? 329 00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:44,076 If you build it, he will come. 330 00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:50,050 If you build it, he will 331 00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:52,488 come... 332 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:53,820 Who will come? 333 00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:57,021 Your father. Your dead father. 334 00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:58,722 My father's not dead. 335 00:14:58,832 --> 00:15:00,561 I just spoke with him this morning. 336 00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:02,225 You got to be shittin' me. 337 00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,235 Is this 314 Bentley Road? 338 00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:06,464 No, this is 314 Bentley Drive. 339 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,599 Fucking MapQuest. I've got to get G.P.S. 340 00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:11,836 Anyway, I know a quarterback. His name is Lance Truman. 341 00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:14,004 You'll find his ass on the baseball field. 342 00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:25,848 Lance Truman? 343 00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:27,085 Yeah. 344 00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:28,524 Name's Lambeau Fields. 345 00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,357 New football coach over at Heartland. 346 00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:32,158 Word on the street 347 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:33,926 is that you're a damn good quarterback. 348 00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:36,229 Yeah, my dad wants me to focus on baseball. 349 00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:37,428 Sorry, Coach. 350 00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:39,334 Let me talk to your father. 351 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:42,533 He needs to know that you're wasting your gift here. 352 00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:45,076 All right, listen, could we just drop the football thing? 353 00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:47,442 My dad's made up his mind- baseball's my future. 354 00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:49,913 Then prove it- strike me out. 355 00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:50,983 Are you serious? 356 00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:52,312 Your best pitch. 357 00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:53,408 You got some wood? 358 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:56,455 No. But I did on the way over here, though. 359 00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:59,525 Sometimes when I'm driving, I like to prop a cup of coffee 360 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,390 in my lap, and there's just something about the hot steam 361 00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:03,723 against my knuckleballs 362 00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:05,695 that really, you know... 363 00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:08,063 just makes old Charlie hustle. 364 00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:09,499 Yeah, that kind of wood. 365 00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:10,899 - Right. - Right. 366 00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:14,303 - That's it. - Thought for a second you were talking about cock. 367 00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:00,786 I put everything I had on that. 368 00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:03,879 It's time we go talk to your dad. 369 00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:10,427 Got a good feeling about this year. 370 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:13,499 By the way, where's the closest hospital? 371 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,830 Uh... County General. Why? 372 00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:17,163 Oh, no reason. 373 00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:20,034 I'm just gonna pop in there, grab an aspirin. 374 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,608 Got a little headache, I guess. 375 00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:27,108 Oh! 376 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,943 Oh! Ee! 377 00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:32,948 Well, I'm sorry you had to drive 378 00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:35,385 all the way out here, Fields. I could've told you 379 00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:38,218 over the phone I wasn't gonna let my boy play football. 380 00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:45,430 Have you always drank this much, 381 00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:47,591 Mr. Truman? 382 00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:51,363 No. Went for 11 straight years without a drink. 383 00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:52,665 What happened? 384 00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,467 Turned 12. 385 00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,743 I really wish you'd reconsider, Mr. Truman. 386 00:17:57,844 --> 00:17:59,937 Your son had a great season last year. 387 00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:01,707 Hell, he might have been great, 388 00:18:01,815 --> 00:18:04,807 if he could learn how to keep from dropping the dang ball. 389 00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,886 - That's not true, Dad. - Oh, no? 390 00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:08,647 Then what the hell is this? 391 00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:15,786 That's the Droppie Award for most fumbles in a season. 392 00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:17,692 And what the hell is this? 393 00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:21,028 That's a picture of me at Camp Fumblewatha. 394 00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:23,864 And what are you eating in that picture? 395 00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:26,461 A Butterfingers. 396 00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:27,733 This conversation is over, Coach. 397 00:18:27,841 --> 00:18:29,172 My boy's not playing for anyone, 398 00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,368 'cause I can't stand the guys at the mill 399 00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:35,471 asking me why my boy can't hold on to the goddamn ball! 400 00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:36,640 Dad! 401 00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:39,645 I just want to make you proud, Dad, 402 00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:41,617 so you can hold your head up high. 403 00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:43,484 Please, Dad? 404 00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:47,188 All right. 405 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,659 But if you give those men at the mill 406 00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:52,356 any reason to laugh at me, I swear to God... 407 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:53,727 You work at a mill? 408 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:56,393 The Sugar Mill- it's out on Route 39. 409 00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:59,904 I do Cher four nights a week, Christina Aguilera on Saturday. 410 00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:27,529 Isn't she the best kicker you've ever seen? 411 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:34,898 Kicker? Oh, hey, look- they're playing sports. 412 00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:37,977 How you doing? Name's Coach Fields. 413 00:19:38,077 --> 00:19:40,136 - I want you to be my kicker. - Wow! 414 00:19:40,246 --> 00:19:41,679 I would like that very much. 415 00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:43,544 - So you'll join the squad? - Under one condition: 416 00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:45,550 My parents can never know. 417 00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:47,552 They're very traditional, believe a woman's life 418 00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:50,122 should be spent in service to her husband, cooking, 419 00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:51,918 cleaning, and pleasuring with the mouth. 420 00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:53,754 - Hello. Welcome to the team. - Hi. Hi. 421 00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,350 Oh, my God. 422 00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:58,487 Hey, what's this thing? 423 00:19:58,598 --> 00:19:59,724 Oh, that's for your nose. 424 00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:01,197 You put it on your face. 425 00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:02,529 It's a nose guard. 426 00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:09,369 Well, I thought it was a really small 427 00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:11,943 one of these. 428 00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:20,741 Hey. 429 00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:21,751 I'm Lance. Lance Truman. 430 00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:23,412 I'm your new quarterback. 431 00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:25,855 Word of advice, quarterback. 432 00:20:25,959 --> 00:20:27,093 You just give me the damn ball, and you stay out of my way. 433 00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:29,027 You just give me the damn ball, and you stay out of my way. 434 00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:30,390 This my team. 435 00:20:30,496 --> 00:20:31,793 This my turf. 436 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:34,230 And this... 437 00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:36,063 This my... 438 00:20:36,169 --> 00:20:37,761 My Little Pony collection. 439 00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:40,395 Rainbow Dash, first edition. 440 00:20:40,506 --> 00:20:41,803 Still in the box, bitch. 441 00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,466 Huddle up! Listen up! 442 00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:44,975 Sit down. 443 00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:48,977 Been doing a little bit of research. 444 00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:50,982 Turns out... 445 00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:53,882 every single one of you made the dean's list last semester. 446 00:20:53,987 --> 00:20:55,079 Yeah! 447 00:20:55,188 --> 00:20:59,352 And I got to say, gang... 448 00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:02,326 I will not stand for this bullshit! 449 00:21:03,196 --> 00:21:05,858 Now, if we're gonna be winners, 450 00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:09,765 I'm gonna need a commitment from you. 451 00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:13,134 So we're all gonna sign a little contract. 452 00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:16,941 Why don't you pass those out. 453 00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:20,535 I want to start seeing D's... 454 00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:22,945 and F's. 455 00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:25,176 I want you to cut class. 456 00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:27,651 I want academic probation. 457 00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:32,316 When I walk in that locker room, I want to smell reefer. 458 00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:34,450 I want phone calls in the middle of the night 459 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,653 to bail you horn dogs out of jail. 460 00:21:36,763 --> 00:21:38,060 I want felonies, 461 00:21:38,164 --> 00:21:39,995 lawsuits, 462 00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:43,330 sexual harassment allegations. 463 00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:46,462 I want you to start acting like ballplayers, for Christ sake! 464 00:21:46,572 --> 00:21:48,403 Hey! Hey! 465 00:21:48,508 --> 00:21:52,342 Anybody got a problem, you better speak up right and now! 466 00:21:54,514 --> 00:21:56,812 You know what I think of your contract, Coach? 467 00:22:16,736 --> 00:22:18,533 You got a lot of anger, son. 468 00:22:18,638 --> 00:22:21,004 That's 'cause I'm from somewhere you can't even imagine. 469 00:22:21,107 --> 00:22:22,267 The skreets. 470 00:22:22,375 --> 00:22:24,468 Dude, you grew up two houses down from me. 471 00:22:24,577 --> 00:22:26,010 We lived in the same cul-de-sac. 472 00:22:26,112 --> 00:22:27,977 Which is a dead-end skreet, 473 00:22:28,081 --> 00:22:30,015 and no hope of ever getting out. 474 00:22:30,116 --> 00:22:32,346 Unless you turn around in this one guy's driveway, and... 475 00:22:32,452 --> 00:22:34,113 he didn't like that, so... 476 00:22:34,220 --> 00:22:35,949 it became this whole thing. 477 00:22:36,055 --> 00:22:37,716 You don't like my rules... 478 00:22:37,824 --> 00:22:39,724 George Johnson, is it? 479 00:22:41,994 --> 00:22:45,020 - Ooh. - Uh-oh. 480 00:22:45,131 --> 00:22:47,190 It's pronounced Jorge Juanson, 481 00:22:47,300 --> 00:22:49,768 and no, I don't like your contract. 482 00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:51,803 And I don't like you, either, ese. 483 00:22:51,904 --> 00:22:54,270 You want to take a swing at me, kid? 484 00:22:54,374 --> 00:22:55,739 Then do it. 485 00:22:55,842 --> 00:22:57,901 Punch me. 486 00:22:58,010 --> 00:22:59,409 Go on. 487 00:22:59,512 --> 00:23:01,139 Unless you're afraid. 488 00:23:01,247 --> 00:23:03,545 Ooh! Oh! 489 00:23:10,289 --> 00:23:12,689 That it? 490 00:23:12,792 --> 00:23:14,316 Had enough? 491 00:23:15,828 --> 00:23:17,420 Here's your tooth, Coach. 492 00:23:17,530 --> 00:23:18,622 Thanks. 493 00:23:24,470 --> 00:23:26,461 Well... look who's here. 494 00:23:26,572 --> 00:23:29,063 She looks skinny... 495 00:23:29,175 --> 00:23:30,267 fat. 496 00:23:30,376 --> 00:23:31,502 Her leotard's cute... 497 00:23:31,611 --> 00:23:32,669 yuck. 498 00:23:32,779 --> 00:23:34,474 Yeah. She's pretty... 499 00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:35,808 hot. 500 00:23:37,350 --> 00:23:38,715 I mean... 501 00:23:38,818 --> 00:23:40,979 I would like to smother her. 502 00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:42,145 Yeah. 503 00:23:42,255 --> 00:23:43,415 With my breasts. 504 00:24:24,363 --> 00:24:25,921 She never could stick it. 505 00:24:26,032 --> 00:24:28,000 God, she could stick me. 506 00:24:29,101 --> 00:24:30,864 Hi. 507 00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:32,460 I'm Lance. 508 00:24:32,572 --> 00:24:34,938 So, um, what are you, like... 509 00:24:35,041 --> 00:24:36,633 the laundry man? 510 00:24:36,742 --> 00:24:38,334 No, I just joined the football team. 511 00:24:38,444 --> 00:24:40,435 Me and a few guys from the team work here 512 00:24:40,546 --> 00:24:42,480 a few hours a week, make some extra cash. 513 00:24:42,582 --> 00:24:43,640 That's kind of brutal. 514 00:24:43,749 --> 00:24:46,684 Well... it's got its perks. 515 00:24:58,231 --> 00:25:01,632 Anyway, um... I was wondering, 516 00:25:01,734 --> 00:25:03,964 would you like to go out sometime? 517 00:25:05,071 --> 00:25:06,163 No. 518 00:25:06,272 --> 00:25:07,796 Why not? 519 00:25:07,907 --> 00:25:09,568 'Cause I'm not looking for a man. 520 00:25:09,675 --> 00:25:10,801 Huh? 521 00:25:10,910 --> 00:25:12,172 I already have one. 522 00:25:12,278 --> 00:25:14,075 Oh. 523 00:25:19,418 --> 00:25:20,885 What's up, baby? 524 00:25:20,987 --> 00:25:22,852 Let's go get something to eat, 525 00:25:22,955 --> 00:25:24,422 'cause a brother's starvin'. 526 00:25:24,524 --> 00:25:25,616 I already ate. 527 00:25:25,725 --> 00:25:27,124 Don't call me baby. 528 00:25:27,226 --> 00:25:28,989 Makes me feel like an object. 529 00:25:29,095 --> 00:25:30,255 I'm sorry. 530 00:25:30,363 --> 00:25:32,831 He was talking to me. 531 00:25:32,932 --> 00:25:34,490 Come on, baby. 532 00:25:36,135 --> 00:25:38,899 Boy got laundry to do. 533 00:25:44,010 --> 00:25:47,241 Some guys have all the luck. 534 00:25:48,281 --> 00:25:50,545 Oh, yeah. 535 00:25:51,717 --> 00:25:53,617 Hey, gang. 536 00:25:53,719 --> 00:25:55,880 Gather around- I want to show you something. 537 00:25:57,356 --> 00:25:59,347 This is my old bucket 538 00:25:59,458 --> 00:26:02,256 from my own college-playing days. 539 00:26:02,361 --> 00:26:04,261 I was a fullback. 540 00:26:04,363 --> 00:26:06,456 Short-yardage specialist 541 00:26:06,566 --> 00:26:08,659 for the Loserville Golden Oafers. 542 00:26:08,768 --> 00:26:10,827 They'd bring me in in goal line situations mostly, 543 00:26:10,937 --> 00:26:12,734 you know, the Hammerhead to punch it in. 544 00:26:12,838 --> 00:26:14,829 Yo, how many touchdowns you score? 545 00:26:14,941 --> 00:26:15,908 Nada, zilch. 546 00:26:16,008 --> 00:26:17,976 Zero, not one. 547 00:26:18,077 --> 00:26:20,409 Boy... 548 00:26:20,513 --> 00:26:23,812 I'd give anything for one last shot. 549 00:26:23,916 --> 00:26:25,406 Why didn't you score, Coach? 550 00:26:25,518 --> 00:26:27,577 No talent. 551 00:26:27,687 --> 00:26:29,120 In the big picture, 552 00:26:29,221 --> 00:26:31,689 we didn't play as a team. 553 00:26:31,791 --> 00:26:34,817 Now, there's one week before our first game. 554 00:26:34,927 --> 00:26:38,226 We've got to be one body, one heartbeat. 555 00:26:38,331 --> 00:26:40,162 Now, who do you play for? 556 00:26:40,266 --> 00:26:41,255 The Comebacks! 557 00:26:41,367 --> 00:26:42,629 Trotter. 558 00:26:42,735 --> 00:26:43,963 Who? 559 00:26:44,070 --> 00:26:45,037 The Comebacks! 560 00:26:45,137 --> 00:26:46,365 Trotter! 561 00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:50,738 Sorry, gang, but we are a team. 562 00:26:50,843 --> 00:26:52,606 If I've got to bust his hump, 563 00:26:52,712 --> 00:26:54,839 I've got to bust all of your humps. 564 00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:55,936 - Come on, man! - Complaining's not 565 00:26:56,048 --> 00:26:57,106 gonna make a difference- 566 00:26:57,216 --> 00:26:58,308 it's hump-busting time. 567 00:27:00,152 --> 00:27:03,485 Right! Dig! That's it! 568 00:27:03,589 --> 00:27:05,557 That's my team! Yeah, yeah, yeah! 569 00:27:05,658 --> 00:27:07,717 Ooh! Ow! Ah! 570 00:27:07,827 --> 00:27:09,624 Randinger! 571 00:27:09,729 --> 00:27:12,357 Stop goofing around! 572 00:27:12,465 --> 00:27:14,729 Get up here! 573 00:27:25,745 --> 00:27:27,770 Oh, my God. 574 00:27:29,448 --> 00:27:34,181 Survive on the ice, you can survive anywhere. 575 00:27:38,624 --> 00:27:39,613 Yeah! 576 00:27:39,725 --> 00:27:42,057 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 577 00:27:43,295 --> 00:27:44,887 Yeah! 578 00:27:44,997 --> 00:27:48,626 If you can dodge a wrench, 579 00:27:48,734 --> 00:27:50,326 you can dodge a tackler. 580 00:27:55,908 --> 00:27:58,206 Same thing goes for a firearm. 581 00:28:04,684 --> 00:28:07,244 Did I dodge it? 582 00:28:07,353 --> 00:28:09,480 Walk it off. 583 00:28:12,858 --> 00:28:14,519 All right, listen up. 584 00:28:16,062 --> 00:28:18,257 No one's going home today 585 00:28:18,364 --> 00:28:21,595 until one of you can knock me down. 586 00:28:32,745 --> 00:28:34,975 Okay, everybody hit the showers. 587 00:28:35,081 --> 00:28:37,345 - Who do you play for?! - Comebacks! 588 00:28:37,450 --> 00:28:40,078 Trotter! Trotter! 589 00:28:41,654 --> 00:28:43,178 All right, good! 590 00:28:43,289 --> 00:28:44,950 You're finally a team! 591 00:28:48,794 --> 00:28:50,887 Except for you, Randy- You'll be riding the pine. 592 00:28:50,996 --> 00:28:54,932 Oh, come on Coach. I'll give you a rim job. 593 00:28:57,570 --> 00:28:59,561 I work down at the car wash on the weekends. 594 00:28:59,672 --> 00:29:01,572 I'll have your wheels sparkling in no time. 595 00:29:01,674 --> 00:29:03,733 Car wash- Right. 596 00:29:03,843 --> 00:29:07,244 Sometimes I think I might have a dirty mind. 597 00:29:08,948 --> 00:29:11,382 First, highlights of last night's title-card bout 598 00:29:11,484 --> 00:29:13,315 featuring a courageous comeback attempt 599 00:29:13,419 --> 00:29:16,013 from the 93-year-old Rocky Balboa. 600 00:29:38,544 --> 00:29:40,569 Hey, fellas. 601 00:29:42,214 --> 00:29:43,408 Name's Lambeau Fields. 602 00:29:43,516 --> 00:29:46,212 Just thought I'd drop by and introduce myself. 603 00:29:46,318 --> 00:29:48,377 Oh, we know who you are. 604 00:29:48,487 --> 00:29:51,820 We know all about you and your contract 605 00:29:51,924 --> 00:29:55,052 and your plans for our team. 606 00:29:57,663 --> 00:29:59,654 We want you to know something, 607 00:29:59,765 --> 00:30:01,630 Coach. 608 00:30:01,734 --> 00:30:04,532 We think that's terrific! We do! 609 00:30:07,339 --> 00:30:09,239 But if you think you can try using 610 00:30:09,341 --> 00:30:13,243 unconventional training methods and crazy game plans... 611 00:30:16,782 --> 00:30:18,841 - We support that 100 percent. - Yeah, we do. 612 00:30:18,951 --> 00:30:20,179 We do. 613 00:30:23,923 --> 00:30:26,653 But if you should play that first game... 614 00:30:26,759 --> 00:30:28,886 and lose... 615 00:30:32,264 --> 00:30:34,494 Aw, heck, there's always another game after that. 616 00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:37,000 - There's so many games in a season! - They play a lot! 617 00:30:39,772 --> 00:30:41,967 I can't tell you how relieved that makes me feel, so... 618 00:30:42,074 --> 00:30:44,474 Well, good. But if you should lose that second game, 619 00:30:44,577 --> 00:30:47,011 we'll tie you to a tree and pour pig's blood 620 00:30:47,112 --> 00:30:49,876 all over your ass and let the coyotes have at you. 621 00:30:57,022 --> 00:30:59,013 Good luck on your first game tomorrow. 622 00:30:59,124 --> 00:31:01,888 - Like some coffee? - Begging for mercy. 623 00:31:01,994 --> 00:31:03,518 - Oh, drink up now. - Sure. 624 00:31:03,629 --> 00:31:06,393 - Oh, we brew it fresh here. - I'd be honored if you held my gun. 625 00:31:06,498 --> 00:31:08,591 - Oh, go ahead and take a try with that. - Yeah. 626 00:31:08,701 --> 00:31:11,295 - It's real good. - Careful, it's hot. 627 00:31:11,403 --> 00:31:14,133 Well, I'm just.. 628 00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:17,698 - Heh, Hey, shooter! - Use that to stir it. 629 00:31:17,810 --> 00:31:19,209 You can have the whole thing- 630 00:31:19,311 --> 00:31:21,541 Put the weapon down. Put the weapon down. 631 00:31:21,647 --> 00:31:25,378 And Coach heard their message loud and clear. 632 00:31:25,484 --> 00:31:28,544 You see this was a town that loved its football. 633 00:31:28,654 --> 00:31:30,918 A brisk Saturday in autumn 634 00:31:31,023 --> 00:31:32,786 was like a holiday for these folks. 635 00:31:32,892 --> 00:31:35,417 The whole town shut down on game day. 636 00:31:35,527 --> 00:31:38,325 Everyone in Heartland, and I mean everyone, 637 00:31:38,430 --> 00:31:39,897 was at the game. 638 00:31:39,999 --> 00:31:41,762 Here they are, 639 00:31:41,867 --> 00:31:45,303 your Heartland State University Comebacks! 640 00:31:52,244 --> 00:31:53,973 Hi, honey! 641 00:31:54,079 --> 00:31:55,137 Good luck! 642 00:31:55,247 --> 00:31:57,442 What's going on? Where is everyone? 643 00:31:57,549 --> 00:31:58,481 They're all two towns over 644 00:31:58,584 --> 00:31:59,710 at the University of Texas game. 645 00:31:59,818 --> 00:32:02,252 Hey, the Longhorns just scored! 646 00:32:02,354 --> 00:32:05,084 And here comes the visiting team, 647 00:32:05,190 --> 00:32:08,353 the Boner State Trojans! 648 00:32:16,568 --> 00:32:18,627 These Trojans are tough. 649 00:32:18,737 --> 00:32:20,830 They're rock-hard on offense! 650 00:32:20,940 --> 00:32:23,465 They've got a stiff defense! 651 00:32:23,575 --> 00:32:25,736 They'll exploit any opening they see. 652 00:32:25,844 --> 00:32:30,247 And if they get in a groove, they can score all night long, 653 00:32:30,349 --> 00:32:32,909 any which way they want. 654 00:32:33,018 --> 00:32:37,182 You can't lay down or they are really gonna pound us. 655 00:32:37,289 --> 00:32:40,053 - Season ticket holders coming through! - Right here! 656 00:32:40,159 --> 00:32:41,490 12 years running! 657 00:32:41,593 --> 00:32:43,060 That's right! 658 00:32:43,162 --> 00:32:45,687 47-yard line, bitch! 659 00:33:01,647 --> 00:33:04,047 All right, we can do it. 660 00:33:04,149 --> 00:33:07,983 And the Heartland State University 661 00:33:08,087 --> 00:33:10,146 football season is... 662 00:33:11,924 --> 00:33:15,758 ...as bad as it was last year. 663 00:33:23,936 --> 00:33:25,699 Team, hut! 664 00:33:38,050 --> 00:33:40,382 This is so humiliating. 665 00:33:43,722 --> 00:33:45,622 Comebacks rule! 666 00:33:48,961 --> 00:33:53,125 End of the first, Comebacks trail by 17. 667 00:33:53,232 --> 00:33:55,359 Here comes Trotter. 668 00:33:55,467 --> 00:33:57,367 Here comes Trotter. 669 00:33:59,004 --> 00:34:01,768 You missed the whole first quarter. Where have you been? 670 00:34:01,874 --> 00:34:05,139 Get off my back, Coach. I was doing a thing. 671 00:34:05,244 --> 00:34:06,802 Me. 672 00:34:06,912 --> 00:34:10,780 And remember, Dad, he's black. 673 00:34:10,883 --> 00:34:13,784 Black as a Mississippi August night. 674 00:34:15,020 --> 00:34:16,544 All right, Trotter. 675 00:34:16,655 --> 00:34:18,623 You're on the bench for the rest of the game. 676 00:34:18,724 --> 00:34:21,056 If you're ever late again, you're off my squad. 677 00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:23,287 Whatever, Coach. I'm all you got and you know it. 678 00:34:23,395 --> 00:34:25,295 I think you're forgetting about someone. 679 00:34:25,397 --> 00:34:27,262 The future of this team. 680 00:34:27,366 --> 00:34:30,096 And his name is ACL Tear. 681 00:34:30,202 --> 00:34:33,694 Coach, you know, I've been thinking, 682 00:34:33,806 --> 00:34:36,036 you might start to jinx me if you keep calling me, 683 00:34:36,141 --> 00:34:37,802 uh, that name. 684 00:34:37,910 --> 00:34:39,207 Nonsense. 685 00:34:39,311 --> 00:34:41,370 Now, get out there, ACL, and tear it up. 686 00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:42,640 Tear it up good. 687 00:34:42,748 --> 00:34:43,942 All right, Coach. 688 00:34:44,049 --> 00:34:44,845 Go get 'em, Tear. 689 00:34:44,950 --> 00:34:46,076 Let's go, Comebacks- 690 00:34:46,185 --> 00:34:47,948 execution, execution. 691 00:34:50,689 --> 00:34:53,419 Green 80! 692 00:34:53,525 --> 00:34:55,584 Green 80! Set. Hut. 693 00:34:56,995 --> 00:34:59,190 Go. 694 00:34:59,298 --> 00:35:00,925 Go! 695 00:35:02,301 --> 00:35:03,598 Ooh! 696 00:35:24,389 --> 00:35:26,857 Nothing can stop him! Nothing can stop this kid! 697 00:35:45,043 --> 00:35:47,568 'At a way, ACL Tear- shake it off. 698 00:35:47,679 --> 00:35:49,874 - Way to take a hit from a bus, dude. - That's right. 699 00:36:12,337 --> 00:36:15,170 Final score: Trojans 83, 700 00:36:15,274 --> 00:36:17,674 Comebacks 0. 701 00:36:23,916 --> 00:36:25,315 Hold this. 702 00:36:25,417 --> 00:36:28,181 What did I tell you about dropping the ball? 703 00:36:28,287 --> 00:36:30,187 Dad, I only fumbled a couple of times. 704 00:36:30,289 --> 00:36:31,483 A couple! 705 00:36:31,590 --> 00:36:33,319 Why don't you tell Maddonald here just exactly 706 00:36:33,425 --> 00:36:34,824 how many times you fumbled? 707 00:36:34,927 --> 00:36:35,621 Two. 708 00:36:35,727 --> 00:36:37,752 Two! Two times! 709 00:36:37,863 --> 00:36:39,592 Is that what you call "a couple"? 710 00:36:39,698 --> 00:36:41,757 Actually, Dad, two is a couple. 711 00:36:41,867 --> 00:36:44,028 This conversation is over! 712 00:36:44,136 --> 00:36:47,367 Come on. Loser! 713 00:36:47,472 --> 00:36:49,372 You can kiss my ass. 714 00:36:57,182 --> 00:36:59,707 Coach? 715 00:37:02,688 --> 00:37:05,384 You have been sitting in here for hours. 716 00:37:05,490 --> 00:37:09,517 I've just got a few more films to go through. 717 00:37:09,628 --> 00:37:12,426 Can't you watch them tomorrow? 718 00:37:12,531 --> 00:37:14,328 Not if I want my team to be ready 719 00:37:14,433 --> 00:37:15,923 to play the Titans next week. 720 00:37:18,770 --> 00:37:20,931 It's starting again, Coach. 721 00:37:21,039 --> 00:37:22,028 Hmm? 722 00:37:22,140 --> 00:37:24,904 You're ignoring me, this family. 723 00:37:25,010 --> 00:37:26,102 I am not. 724 00:37:26,211 --> 00:37:27,508 Oh, please! 725 00:37:27,613 --> 00:37:30,309 You have sat in here night after night, forgetting about me 726 00:37:30,415 --> 00:37:32,883 and everything that matters to you. 727 00:37:32,985 --> 00:37:36,113 Ignoring us is-is something that you've never been able to resist, 728 00:37:36,221 --> 00:37:39,918 like a make-your-own-taco bar or midget wrestling. 729 00:37:40,025 --> 00:37:41,322 Jesus, Barb. 730 00:37:41,426 --> 00:37:43,758 This is my last shot. 731 00:37:43,862 --> 00:37:45,454 These films matter. 732 00:37:45,564 --> 00:37:48,590 I need them to become a better coach, to win. 733 00:37:48,700 --> 00:37:50,668 I just don't see how watching 734 00:37:50,769 --> 00:37:53,499 man-on-man porn makes you a better coach. 735 00:37:53,605 --> 00:37:56,096 Why must everyone question my method? 736 00:37:56,208 --> 00:37:59,234 Why does it have to be so hard core? 737 00:37:59,344 --> 00:38:02,279 Once again, my method! 738 00:38:02,381 --> 00:38:04,178 Can you knock it off, I Pod? 739 00:38:04,283 --> 00:38:05,545 It's a DVD, for God's sakes. 740 00:38:26,772 --> 00:38:28,535 It's open. 741 00:38:33,045 --> 00:38:34,205 Hey, um... 742 00:38:34,313 --> 00:38:36,008 Hi. 743 00:38:36,114 --> 00:38:37,843 - I was just, um... - I get it. 744 00:38:37,949 --> 00:38:41,180 Practicing ballet will help with your footwork in the pocket? 745 00:38:41,286 --> 00:38:42,548 Exactly. 746 00:38:42,654 --> 00:38:45,555 It's the footwork in the pocket. 747 00:38:45,657 --> 00:38:47,318 Um... 748 00:38:47,426 --> 00:38:48,950 Yeah, what's up? 749 00:38:49,061 --> 00:38:50,722 I'm supposed to give you these. 750 00:38:50,829 --> 00:38:52,922 Oh, okay. 751 00:38:53,031 --> 00:38:56,330 The Gridiron Gangbang. 752 00:38:56,435 --> 00:38:58,835 The Bad News Bare Asses. 753 00:38:58,937 --> 00:39:00,495 The Longest Nards. 754 00:39:02,808 --> 00:39:04,776 - His method. - His method. Yeah. 755 00:39:04,876 --> 00:39:05,877 What's that all about? 756 00:39:05,877 --> 00:39:06,639 What's that all about? 757 00:39:06,745 --> 00:39:09,077 What? Oh, this? 758 00:39:09,181 --> 00:39:10,614 My dad thought it might help me 759 00:39:10,716 --> 00:39:12,616 hold onto the ball for next game. 760 00:39:12,718 --> 00:39:15,778 Does it hurt? 761 00:39:15,887 --> 00:39:18,219 I'm kind of used to it. 762 00:39:18,323 --> 00:39:21,690 So he's done this before? 763 00:39:21,793 --> 00:39:24,023 Yeah. 764 00:39:28,767 --> 00:39:30,598 Yeah. 765 00:39:32,204 --> 00:39:34,604 There, that'll keep you from letting go. 766 00:39:37,075 --> 00:39:41,478 Hey, look out for the tr.. 767 00:39:41,580 --> 00:39:44,947 Don't worry about it. They're baby teeth. You'll grow new ones. 768 00:39:45,050 --> 00:39:47,985 Happy 12th birthday, Lance. 769 00:39:48,086 --> 00:39:50,213 There you go. Drink up. 770 00:39:55,093 --> 00:39:57,527 Let's get out of here. Let's go to a bar or something. 771 00:40:16,114 --> 00:40:18,605 The thing is, it's all my fault. 772 00:40:18,717 --> 00:40:21,743 I got a great arm, but I keep dropping the ball. 773 00:40:21,853 --> 00:40:23,684 I always have. 774 00:40:23,789 --> 00:40:25,757 I mean, I don't know how to fix it. 775 00:40:25,857 --> 00:40:28,052 See? 776 00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:29,752 You have no idea what it's like 777 00:40:29,861 --> 00:40:32,125 to have a father whose entire world is sports. 778 00:40:32,230 --> 00:40:35,290 Oh, you think so? 779 00:40:37,903 --> 00:40:41,600 Mom, go long. Go long. 780 00:40:42,874 --> 00:40:45,638 - Close your eyes - Right? 781 00:40:45,744 --> 00:40:48,474 Don't want you to see... 782 00:40:48,580 --> 00:40:51,413 That's my girl, straight A's! 783 00:40:51,516 --> 00:40:52,949 Straight A's! 784 00:40:53,051 --> 00:40:55,315 Let's just say it 785 00:41:00,459 --> 00:41:02,893 - Where are we going? 786 00:41:02,994 --> 00:41:05,428 Illegal use of the hands. 787 00:41:05,530 --> 00:41:08,499 - Have we gone too far? - Game over. 788 00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:12,036 Have we gone too far? 789 00:41:12,137 --> 00:41:13,900 Wow. 790 00:41:14,005 --> 00:41:15,267 I had no idea. 791 00:41:15,373 --> 00:41:18,035 Have we gone too far? 792 00:41:18,143 --> 00:41:21,476 I thought that I had the craziest sports dad ever. 793 00:41:21,580 --> 00:41:23,047 Me, too. 794 00:41:23,148 --> 00:41:25,673 Just close your eyes 795 00:41:25,784 --> 00:41:27,251 What a surprise 796 00:41:27,352 --> 00:41:28,614 Till we get there 797 00:41:28,720 --> 00:41:31,814 You won't know where 798 00:41:31,923 --> 00:41:33,254 See you around 799 00:41:33,358 --> 00:41:35,258 I hope I see you around 800 00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:36,657 Just close your eyes 801 00:41:36,761 --> 00:41:38,251 The way I always do 802 00:41:38,363 --> 00:41:41,924 It's always a surprise 803 00:41:42,033 --> 00:41:43,500 To be with you 804 00:41:43,602 --> 00:41:46,765 You won't know where... 805 00:41:46,872 --> 00:41:48,362 Wow. 806 00:41:48,473 --> 00:41:51,169 They look just like footballs. 807 00:41:57,449 --> 00:41:58,473 Oh. 808 00:42:05,724 --> 00:42:07,749 Oh. 809 00:42:09,561 --> 00:42:11,290 No, wait. 810 00:42:11,396 --> 00:42:12,761 - I, I can't do this. - No. 811 00:42:12,864 --> 00:42:13,956 Yeah, it's okay, I can hold onto them. 812 00:42:14,065 --> 00:42:15,157 - No, really, I... - No, just give me a chance. 813 00:42:15,267 --> 00:42:16,359 It's all wrong. 814 00:42:16,468 --> 00:42:17,457 I have a boyfriend. 815 00:42:17,569 --> 00:42:19,196 - Yeah, I know. - So I have to... go. 816 00:42:19,304 --> 00:42:21,295 No! I... 817 00:42:21,406 --> 00:42:24,671 Um, Michelle, I... I need to tell you something. 818 00:42:24,776 --> 00:42:26,505 Michelle. 819 00:42:36,321 --> 00:42:37,982 Out of my way, fat ass. 820 00:42:38,089 --> 00:42:41,058 You finally decide to block something and it's my locker? 821 00:42:41,159 --> 00:42:43,059 I was just going to drop off an invitation 822 00:42:43,161 --> 00:42:45,288 to my birthday party. 823 00:42:45,397 --> 00:42:48,264 FYI, there's going to be a petting zoo. 824 00:42:49,601 --> 00:42:51,125 Nice. 825 00:42:51,236 --> 00:42:52,999 Score one for Trotter, 826 00:42:53,104 --> 00:42:55,197 which is one more than he had yesterday. 827 00:42:55,307 --> 00:42:56,740 Ooh... 828 00:42:56,841 --> 00:42:58,832 Look, man, why don't you just pretend this whole thing 829 00:42:58,944 --> 00:43:00,878 is a football... and just drop it? 830 00:43:00,979 --> 00:43:03,743 Ooh! 831 00:43:03,848 --> 00:43:06,146 Why don't you act like a barbell and get benched? 832 00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:11,218 Why don't you pretend this whole thing is a basket 833 00:43:11,323 --> 00:43:13,120 full of groceries and get sacked? 834 00:43:15,126 --> 00:43:16,855 Hey, hey! 835 00:43:16,962 --> 00:43:18,896 Why don't you act like my parents, 836 00:43:18,997 --> 00:43:21,864 go upstairs and have some makeup sex? 837 00:43:21,967 --> 00:43:23,594 - Huh? - What? 838 00:43:44,322 --> 00:43:46,119 Hey! 839 00:43:47,525 --> 00:43:50,426 Knock it off! Knock it off! 840 00:43:50,528 --> 00:43:52,359 Yeah. 841 00:43:53,431 --> 00:43:55,331 Now, you listen to me. 842 00:43:55,433 --> 00:43:57,025 This is a team. 843 00:43:57,135 --> 00:43:59,865 And the only way we're going to win 844 00:43:59,971 --> 00:44:02,235 is when you start acting like one. 845 00:44:02,340 --> 00:44:05,002 And you can sure as hell bet that no one is leaving 846 00:44:05,110 --> 00:44:07,772 this locker room until you understand 847 00:44:07,879 --> 00:44:11,975 what being a team is all about. 848 00:44:17,022 --> 00:44:19,547 Coach is right. 849 00:44:19,658 --> 00:44:22,218 We got to start believing in each other. 850 00:44:22,327 --> 00:44:24,056 Like brothers. 851 00:44:24,162 --> 00:44:26,562 That's the only way we're going to win. 852 00:44:26,665 --> 00:44:28,223 Please. 853 00:44:28,333 --> 00:44:31,268 You'll never be my brother. 854 00:44:32,704 --> 00:44:35,867 Si, es la verdad. 855 00:44:35,974 --> 00:44:38,340 We're all too different. 856 00:44:38,443 --> 00:44:41,207 Nothing in this world could bring this team together. 857 00:44:54,025 --> 00:44:57,517 Just a small-town girl 858 00:44:57,629 --> 00:45:02,225 Living in a lonely world 859 00:45:02,333 --> 00:45:08,397 She took a midnight train going anywhere 860 00:45:10,475 --> 00:45:14,172 Just a city boy 861 00:45:14,279 --> 00:45:18,909 Born and raised in South Detroit 862 00:45:19,017 --> 00:45:24,922 He took the midnight train going anywhere! 863 00:45:26,558 --> 00:45:30,358 A singer in a smoky room 864 00:45:30,462 --> 00:45:34,091 The smell of wine and cheap perfume 865 00:45:34,199 --> 00:45:36,895 For a smile, they can share the night 866 00:45:37,001 --> 00:45:41,802 It goes on and on and on and on 867 00:45:41,906 --> 00:45:46,605 Strangers waiting 868 00:45:46,711 --> 00:45:50,340 Up and down the boulevard 869 00:45:50,448 --> 00:45:56,387 Their shadows searching in the night 870 00:45:57,756 --> 00:46:03,023 Streetlight people 871 00:46:03,128 --> 00:46:05,995 Livin' just to find emotion 872 00:46:06,097 --> 00:46:07,655 Hiding 873 00:46:07,766 --> 00:46:13,500 Somewhere in the night 874 00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:26,273 Strangers waiting 875 00:46:26,384 --> 00:46:29,683 Up and down the boulevard 876 00:46:29,788 --> 00:46:33,315 Their shadows searching 877 00:46:33,424 --> 00:46:38,760 In the night 878 00:46:38,863 --> 00:46:43,232 Don't stop believin' 879 00:46:43,334 --> 00:46:46,326 Hold on to that feeling 880 00:46:46,437 --> 00:46:54,367 Streetlight people 881 00:46:54,479 --> 00:46:58,939 Don't stop believin' 882 00:46:59,050 --> 00:47:02,486 Hold on 883 00:47:02,587 --> 00:47:04,612 Streetlight... 884 00:47:04,722 --> 00:47:07,247 And the booster club laughed at me when I demanded 885 00:47:07,358 --> 00:47:10,054 a smoke machine and laser lights for the locker room. 886 00:47:13,965 --> 00:47:16,559 All right, gather 'round, take a knee. 887 00:47:16,668 --> 00:47:20,729 Got a letter here from a little boy named Bobby Taylor. 888 00:47:20,839 --> 00:47:24,605 The kid's sick, real sick. 889 00:47:24,709 --> 00:47:29,112 Probably won't make it through the night. 890 00:47:29,214 --> 00:47:31,842 Goddamn it. 891 00:47:31,950 --> 00:47:35,283 Bobby has one last dying wish. 892 00:47:35,386 --> 00:47:38,913 That's for the opposing team to win this game. 893 00:47:39,023 --> 00:47:40,957 Now, we gonna let Bobby get his wish? 894 00:47:41,059 --> 00:47:42,424 No! 895 00:47:42,527 --> 00:47:44,757 - What do we want him to do? - Die sad! 896 00:47:44,863 --> 00:47:46,922 - Can't hear you. - Die sad! 897 00:47:47,031 --> 00:47:49,625 Get out there... 898 00:48:10,755 --> 00:48:12,313 - Let's go, Comebacks. - Yeah, Comebacks. 899 00:48:12,423 --> 00:48:13,981 - Who are they playing? - Uh, I don't know, the Titans? 900 00:48:14,092 --> 00:48:15,389 Do you remember them? 901 00:48:15,493 --> 00:48:17,017 - No, I don't, 'cause they're forgettable. - Very forgettable. 902 00:48:17,128 --> 00:48:19,096 Okay, listen up. 903 00:48:19,197 --> 00:48:21,427 Since our team got integrated, 904 00:48:21,532 --> 00:48:23,864 I know a lot of you white players are nervous 905 00:48:23,968 --> 00:48:26,801 about losing your positions to our faster, 906 00:48:26,905 --> 00:48:30,238 more athletic, more talented colored boys. 907 00:48:30,341 --> 00:48:32,036 Well, you have nothing to worry about, 908 00:48:32,143 --> 00:48:33,838 'cause when the Titans take the field, 909 00:48:33,945 --> 00:48:36,971 there is no black and white... just crimson and gold, 910 00:48:37,081 --> 00:48:38,912 - the colors of our uniform. - Yes. 911 00:48:39,017 --> 00:48:40,678 We family. 912 00:48:40,785 --> 00:48:43,310 Starting lineup, Isaiah. 913 00:48:43,421 --> 00:48:45,184 Come on. 914 00:48:45,290 --> 00:48:47,258 - Williams. - Yeah. 915 00:48:47,358 --> 00:48:49,383 - Washington. - Yeah. 916 00:48:49,494 --> 00:48:52,190 Washington. 917 00:48:52,297 --> 00:48:54,891 - Washington. - Yes. 918 00:48:54,999 --> 00:48:56,227 Damn. Washington. 919 00:48:56,334 --> 00:48:57,528 Yeah. 920 00:48:57,635 --> 00:48:59,068 - Jefferson. - Come on, Jefferson. 921 00:48:59,170 --> 00:49:01,070 Jefferson, tell your mom I got caller I D now. 922 00:49:01,172 --> 00:49:02,730 I know it's her. 923 00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:04,034 - Carter. - Come on, Carter. 924 00:49:04,175 --> 00:49:06,439 Check his eligibility. 925 00:49:06,544 --> 00:49:08,068 - Boyer. - Yeah. 926 00:49:08,179 --> 00:49:10,079 - LeTroy. - Yeah! Let's do this! 927 00:49:10,181 --> 00:49:12,376 Where the hell you think you're going? 928 00:49:12,483 --> 00:49:13,609 You said Troy. 929 00:49:13,718 --> 00:49:15,185 I said LeTroy. 930 00:49:15,286 --> 00:49:17,254 Sit your marshmallow ass back on the bench. 931 00:49:18,356 --> 00:49:20,722 White boy think he gonna cover a receiver. 932 00:49:20,825 --> 00:49:22,690 You gonna learn, 933 00:49:22,794 --> 00:49:24,523 crack is whack and white don't cover black! 934 00:49:24,629 --> 00:49:26,859 Now let's pray. 935 00:49:26,965 --> 00:49:28,865 Red and white. 936 00:49:28,967 --> 00:49:30,696 That's right, that's right, that's right, that's right. 937 00:49:30,802 --> 00:49:32,201 Red and white. 938 00:49:32,303 --> 00:49:33,395 Here's the kickoff, 939 00:49:33,504 --> 00:49:36,029 as the Comebacks try to bounce back 940 00:49:36,140 --> 00:49:39,132 from last week's humiliating loss. 941 00:49:42,847 --> 00:49:45,975 The ball is loose... and Trotter recovers! 942 00:49:46,084 --> 00:49:47,813 Yes! Yes! 943 00:49:47,919 --> 00:49:50,444 - That's the way! - Yeah, yeah! Yeah, baby. 944 00:49:50,555 --> 00:49:51,886 That's the way right there. 945 00:49:51,990 --> 00:49:53,890 Ready, break! 946 00:49:59,664 --> 00:50:01,393 Hmm? 947 00:50:01,499 --> 00:50:02,932 Mm-hmm. 948 00:50:04,002 --> 00:50:05,196 Hike! 949 00:50:05,303 --> 00:50:07,271 Truman drops back. 950 00:50:07,372 --> 00:50:10,364 Touchdown Comebacks. 951 00:50:11,809 --> 00:50:15,040 Their first score of the season. 952 00:50:16,180 --> 00:50:17,704 Hike! 953 00:50:21,819 --> 00:50:24,379 Juanson picks up the loose ball. 954 00:50:25,556 --> 00:50:28,548 - Touchdown! - Whoo! 955 00:50:28,659 --> 00:50:30,092 That's how we do it. 956 00:50:30,194 --> 00:50:31,252 All right! 957 00:50:31,362 --> 00:50:34,456 Sorry. I hugged him a little too hard. 958 00:50:34,565 --> 00:50:36,328 I like your badonkadonks, by the way. 959 00:50:41,939 --> 00:50:43,406 Let's go! 960 00:50:43,508 --> 00:50:45,738 Set. Hut! 961 00:50:45,843 --> 00:50:48,311 Titans on the reverse. 962 00:50:49,814 --> 00:50:51,213 Ooh, what a move! 963 00:50:51,315 --> 00:50:54,751 He's to the 30, the 20, the 10! 964 00:50:54,852 --> 00:50:57,116 Another Titans touchdown. 965 00:50:57,221 --> 00:50:58,950 Are you kidding me? 966 00:51:04,896 --> 00:51:08,457 Let's go get the quarterback! Let's go! 967 00:51:15,606 --> 00:51:17,267 Yeah, I get it. You're gonna kill me. 968 00:51:19,377 --> 00:51:20,901 Wha-What's this part? 969 00:51:21,012 --> 00:51:23,003 Oh, that means he's gonna fist you too. 970 00:51:23,114 --> 00:51:25,309 Time's ticking down, and we're still tied. 971 00:51:25,416 --> 00:51:28,817 It all rests in the hands of quarterback Lance Truman. 972 00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:29,852 Blue 20. 973 00:51:29,954 --> 00:51:32,946 Blue 20. Hut! 974 00:51:36,561 --> 00:51:38,028 He drops back. 975 00:51:41,933 --> 00:51:44,197 They're going long! 976 00:51:47,271 --> 00:51:49,262 Juanson's wide open. 977 00:51:49,373 --> 00:51:51,398 - He makes the catch. - That's the way! 978 00:51:51,509 --> 00:51:54,069 Hot damn, he's on fire. 979 00:51:59,016 --> 00:52:01,678 Touchdown! The Comebacks win! 980 00:52:01,786 --> 00:52:04,084 The Comebacks win! 981 00:52:04,188 --> 00:52:05,678 Whoo-hah! 982 00:52:21,939 --> 00:52:24,874 Oh, gee. Oh, di, do, do, di, do. 983 00:52:26,043 --> 00:52:28,534 Whoo, you like that, you big baby, don't you? 984 00:52:28,646 --> 00:52:30,910 - Take it like a man. - All right! 985 00:52:31,015 --> 00:52:33,677 Heck of a job out there today! 986 00:52:35,253 --> 00:52:38,017 - Except for Randy. - Aww... 987 00:52:38,122 --> 00:52:40,590 You had no part in the victory. You added nothing. 988 00:52:40,691 --> 00:52:44,149 Coach, can I play in the next game? 989 00:52:45,463 --> 00:52:47,363 I'll toss your salad. 990 00:52:47,465 --> 00:52:50,195 Please tell me you're gonna start chopping up lettuce and tomatoes. 991 00:52:50,301 --> 00:52:51,666 I'll salute your flagpole. 992 00:52:51,769 --> 00:52:53,828 Please tell me you're a patriot. 993 00:52:53,938 --> 00:52:56,566 I'll pack your fudge. 994 00:52:56,674 --> 00:52:59,768 Please tell me you're a confectioner's assistant. 995 00:52:59,877 --> 00:53:03,404 Oh, no. I really meant I was gonna pack your fudge and toss your salad. 996 00:53:06,017 --> 00:53:07,712 All right, listen. 997 00:53:07,818 --> 00:53:10,116 I want you all to go out and celebrate. 998 00:53:10,221 --> 00:53:13,315 Tear it up. Explore your bodies. 999 00:53:13,424 --> 00:53:18,020 Lather up your nethers, get 'em wet, sticky. Shave it. 1000 00:53:18,129 --> 00:53:20,393 Go out and get yourself a venereal disease, 1001 00:53:20,498 --> 00:53:22,193 whatever it is you kids are into these days. 1002 00:53:22,300 --> 00:53:24,734 All right, get in here. S.T.D.'s on three. 1003 00:53:26,837 --> 00:53:29,203 - One, two, three. - S.T.D.'s. 1004 00:53:43,254 --> 00:53:45,119 The strippers are here. 1005 00:53:55,684 --> 00:53:56,673 Bling-bling. 1006 00:53:56,785 --> 00:53:58,412 Bling-bling, baby. 1007 00:54:02,658 --> 00:54:04,751 Yo, what took you so long, ese? 1008 00:54:04,860 --> 00:54:06,487 Stuff isn't easy to find this time of night. 1009 00:54:09,698 --> 00:54:11,188 What's up, 'Seel? 1010 00:54:11,300 --> 00:54:13,393 That's some good shit. 1011 00:54:14,736 --> 00:54:17,671 Yeah... Now I can eat my Fruity Flakes. 1012 00:54:34,957 --> 00:54:36,447 I'll be right back. 1013 00:54:40,662 --> 00:54:43,222 Hey, Blue Crush, where you been? 1014 00:54:43,332 --> 00:54:45,664 Catching some waves. 1015 00:54:45,767 --> 00:54:47,928 I'm a total hard-core surfer chick. 1016 00:54:48,036 --> 00:54:50,504 At night? In the middle of Texas? 1017 00:54:50,606 --> 00:54:53,837 I told you... I'm hard-core. 1018 00:54:57,446 --> 00:54:59,073 What's that? 1019 00:54:59,181 --> 00:55:00,773 I'm writing my local congressman, 1020 00:55:00,883 --> 00:55:03,010 because I'm worried about the rapidly decaying future 1021 00:55:03,118 --> 00:55:04,676 of Social Security. 1022 00:55:04,786 --> 00:55:07,016 During a party? Why? 1023 00:55:07,122 --> 00:55:09,113 Because everyone's labeled me rebellious, 1024 00:55:09,224 --> 00:55:11,351 so I'm rebelling against the rebellious label 1025 00:55:11,460 --> 00:55:14,361 by being conscientious in rebellion. 1026 00:55:14,463 --> 00:55:15,953 Duh. 1027 00:55:16,064 --> 00:55:17,691 Michelle, I can't stop thinking about you. 1028 00:55:17,799 --> 00:55:21,428 That night when we kissed, and I... 1029 00:55:21,537 --> 00:55:22,970 bobbled your boobies... 1030 00:55:23,071 --> 00:55:25,733 I don't want to talk about it. 1031 00:55:25,841 --> 00:55:26,808 Why not? 1032 00:55:26,909 --> 00:55:28,740 Why won't you give me a chance? 1033 00:55:28,844 --> 00:55:30,835 Because if we went out, 1034 00:55:30,946 --> 00:55:35,042 you'd pick me up, we'd drive out to the lake, 1035 00:55:35,150 --> 00:55:38,313 have a little picnic, some wine, 1036 00:55:38,420 --> 00:55:42,220 we'd lay out on a blanket and ball. 1037 00:55:43,292 --> 00:55:46,955 And ball, ball, ball, ball, ball. 1038 00:55:47,062 --> 00:55:50,190 We'd do it over and over for hours and hours. 1039 00:55:50,299 --> 00:55:52,267 And I would ride you so hard 1040 00:55:52,367 --> 00:55:54,767 you wouldn't be able to walk for weeks. 1041 00:55:54,870 --> 00:55:56,599 We'd do it every day. 1042 00:55:56,705 --> 00:55:58,104 All the time. 1043 00:55:58,206 --> 00:56:00,640 Always trying new things 1044 00:56:00,742 --> 00:56:02,437 and different positions. 1045 00:56:02,544 --> 00:56:03,977 Then we'd get married, 1046 00:56:04,079 --> 00:56:06,013 move into a nice house and have kids. 1047 00:56:06,114 --> 00:56:07,479 Two vacations a year. 1048 00:56:07,583 --> 00:56:10,984 One on a beach, and one most likely in Europe, 1049 00:56:11,086 --> 00:56:14,112 with the occasional Africa or Asia. 1050 00:56:14,222 --> 00:56:17,521 Second home on a lake, early retirement. 1051 00:56:17,626 --> 00:56:20,117 Never tiring of each other's bodies 1052 00:56:20,228 --> 00:56:22,992 or lessening the frequency of sex. 1053 00:56:25,601 --> 00:56:27,262 Well, excuse me. 1054 00:56:27,369 --> 00:56:29,929 But that is not the type of life that I would want. 1055 00:56:31,873 --> 00:56:33,932 That sounded pretty good to me. 1056 00:56:34,042 --> 00:56:35,771 Especially the balling part. 1057 00:56:35,877 --> 00:56:38,471 Hmm. 1058 00:56:38,580 --> 00:56:40,172 You know what, Michelle? 1059 00:56:40,282 --> 00:56:43,342 I bet, under that tough exterior of yours, 1060 00:56:43,452 --> 00:56:46,944 under all that self-tanner and macrame bikini, 1061 00:56:47,055 --> 00:56:51,185 there's something very warm and soft. 1062 00:56:51,293 --> 00:56:53,557 And pink. 1063 00:56:53,662 --> 00:56:55,994 Probably smells a little bit, but not too much. 1064 00:56:58,567 --> 00:57:02,970 I am not going to let you sweet-talk me, Lance Truman. 1065 00:57:04,539 --> 00:57:06,336 Fine. 1066 00:57:21,823 --> 00:57:23,814 I hope you are kidding me. 1067 00:57:23,925 --> 00:57:25,222 A study group. 1068 00:57:25,327 --> 00:57:26,487 Please tell me 1069 00:57:26,595 --> 00:57:28,290 this is some kind of a joke. 1070 00:57:28,397 --> 00:57:29,887 Calculus. 1071 00:57:29,998 --> 00:57:31,192 Shakespeare? 1072 00:57:33,001 --> 00:57:36,437 You all signed a contract. What are you trying to do? 1073 00:57:36,538 --> 00:57:39,769 Ruin your season before it even begins, huh? 1074 00:57:39,875 --> 00:57:43,003 No, Coach. We're simply trying to keep up our G.P.A.s. 1075 00:57:43,111 --> 00:57:45,409 Oh, is that what you call it? 1076 00:57:45,514 --> 00:57:49,610 Mm-hmm. You make me sick, all of you. 1077 00:57:50,886 --> 00:57:53,684 Now, I was hoping... 1078 00:57:53,789 --> 00:57:56,849 that you kids would have the gumption 1079 00:57:56,958 --> 00:57:59,984 to do this on your own. 1080 00:58:00,095 --> 00:58:01,790 But, apparently, 1081 00:58:01,897 --> 00:58:03,699 I'm gonna have to take you by the friggin' hand. 1082 00:58:03,699 --> 00:58:05,633 I'm gonna have to take you by the friggin' hand. 1083 00:58:05,734 --> 00:58:08,396 You won a football game! 1084 00:58:08,503 --> 00:58:12,098 Everybody knows that after you win a football game 1085 00:58:12,207 --> 00:58:16,268 you're supposed to consume alcohol at a dangerous rate! 1086 00:58:19,948 --> 00:58:21,381 Ah! 1087 00:58:21,483 --> 00:58:24,077 You should be popping ecstasy, man! 1088 00:58:27,656 --> 00:58:31,057 Oh, yeah, and huffin' some paint! 1089 00:58:32,694 --> 00:58:34,924 What's the color? 1090 00:58:35,030 --> 00:58:37,089 Good times. 1091 00:58:38,233 --> 00:58:40,030 Yeah. 1092 00:58:40,135 --> 00:58:41,796 Look at me now, man. 1093 00:58:41,903 --> 00:58:45,202 Yeah, I brought all these illegal drugs to the party... 1094 00:58:45,307 --> 00:58:49,971 in my fake Louis Vuitton bag that's chock-full 1095 00:58:50,078 --> 00:58:53,844 of pirated DVDs I got down in Chinatown. 1096 00:58:53,949 --> 00:58:55,746 Who cares, man? 1097 00:58:55,851 --> 00:59:00,515 I'm just having some fun, because I won a football game. 1098 00:59:00,622 --> 00:59:04,353 Yeah! I'm a huge drug-pushing drug guy. 1099 00:59:04,459 --> 00:59:06,154 Check me out. 1100 00:59:08,563 --> 00:59:12,465 Gotta have some more of that. 1101 00:59:14,402 --> 00:59:17,337 That's the right spot. 1102 00:59:17,439 --> 00:59:20,135 Now I'm crazy wasted with a bunch of minors 1103 00:59:20,242 --> 00:59:22,335 and I'm taking off all my clothes. 1104 00:59:23,545 --> 00:59:25,479 Yeah, it's cool, man. 1105 00:59:25,580 --> 00:59:27,104 I'm a football player. 1106 00:59:27,215 --> 00:59:29,843 That's what we do! Ow! 1107 00:59:29,951 --> 00:59:31,316 It's the cops! 1108 00:59:31,419 --> 00:59:33,353 You'll never take me alive. 1109 00:59:40,762 --> 00:59:42,696 Freeze, tighty-whities! 1110 00:59:42,798 --> 00:59:47,132 Ah! Right in my Reggie Bush! 1111 00:59:52,174 --> 00:59:57,476 Oh, come on. You have got to be kidding me. 1112 00:59:57,579 --> 01:00:00,571 You can do it! Come on! Get it! Get it! 1113 01:00:00,682 --> 01:00:02,843 Get it! 1114 01:00:02,951 --> 01:00:05,283 Aw! I'm sorry, Clint. 1115 01:00:05,387 --> 01:00:07,150 I couldn't get it unstuck either. 1116 01:00:07,255 --> 01:00:08,916 Well, thanks for trying. 1117 01:00:09,024 --> 01:00:11,015 I should just ask for another one, 1118 01:00:11,126 --> 01:00:15,495 - but that piece goes so well with the room. - Mm-hmm. 1119 01:00:15,597 --> 01:00:18,794 It does coordinate nicely with those throw pillows. 1120 01:00:20,702 --> 01:00:23,967 - Wanna have sex again? - No, I'm good. 1121 01:00:33,782 --> 01:00:35,477 - Who are you? - I'm the warden. 1122 01:00:35,584 --> 01:00:36,676 You can go free 1123 01:00:36,785 --> 01:00:39,447 if you beat me in hoops... 1124 01:00:39,554 --> 01:00:42,318 - one on one. - Hoops? 1125 01:00:42,424 --> 01:00:44,551 Me likey. 1126 01:00:44,659 --> 01:00:46,251 I feel I should warn you. 1127 01:00:46,361 --> 01:00:48,989 I was the leading scorer of the Jewish community center 1128 01:00:49,097 --> 01:00:52,362 Bitty-boy's Basketball League three years straight. 1129 01:00:56,504 --> 01:00:58,665 Well, I think I'm gonna spare you the humiliation 1130 01:00:58,773 --> 01:01:00,570 and just wait to be bailed out. 1131 01:01:08,383 --> 01:01:09,611 Psst! 1132 01:01:09,718 --> 01:01:13,449 Are you sure you don't want to cuddle? 1133 01:01:14,623 --> 01:01:16,215 And so, Coach called the only man 1134 01:01:16,324 --> 01:01:18,189 he knew he could always count on. 1135 01:01:18,293 --> 01:01:21,194 The man who had been by his side through everything. 1136 01:01:21,296 --> 01:01:23,856 The only man he knew he could trust. 1137 01:01:23,965 --> 01:01:28,425 His partner, his rock, the wind beneath his wings-me. 1138 01:01:28,536 --> 01:01:30,197 Thanks for coming, Freddie. 1139 01:01:30,305 --> 01:01:32,273 How long before you can get me out? 1140 01:01:32,374 --> 01:01:34,638 I'm not going to be able to do that, Coach. 1141 01:01:34,743 --> 01:01:36,802 What? Why? 1142 01:01:36,912 --> 01:01:39,039 It was right about then that Coach Fields 1143 01:01:39,147 --> 01:01:40,774 realized something was afoot. 1144 01:01:40,882 --> 01:01:43,612 His old friend Freddie had betrayed him 1145 01:01:43,718 --> 01:01:46,482 and orchestrated a most nefarious scheme 1146 01:01:46,588 --> 01:01:48,852 - that would allow Freddie... - Why you talking like that? 1147 01:01:48,957 --> 01:01:51,084 Ooh, my bad. 1148 01:01:51,192 --> 01:01:52,591 But now you know, Coach. 1149 01:01:52,694 --> 01:01:55,356 The reason why I wanted you to be head coach of the Comebacks 1150 01:01:55,463 --> 01:01:57,727 is because I'm head coach 1151 01:01:57,832 --> 01:02:00,858 of the Lone Star State Unbeatables. 1152 01:02:00,969 --> 01:02:03,529 Coach of the number one team in the conference. 1153 01:02:03,638 --> 01:02:04,662 Yeah. Yeah. 1154 01:02:04,773 --> 01:02:06,365 And I want it to stay that way. 1155 01:02:06,474 --> 01:02:09,102 See, I knew the Comebacks had a shot this year. 1156 01:02:09,210 --> 01:02:11,906 And I also knew, if I could talk you back into coaching 1157 01:02:12,013 --> 01:02:13,605 they'd sink like a stone, 1158 01:02:13,715 --> 01:02:16,684 because that's what you do, Coach- you lose! 1159 01:02:16,785 --> 01:02:19,879 You bastard. 1160 01:02:19,988 --> 01:02:21,683 How could you? 1161 01:02:23,892 --> 01:02:27,191 Freddie decided it was time to go. 1162 01:02:27,295 --> 01:02:30,560 As for Coach, he had bigger things to worry about. 1163 01:02:30,665 --> 01:02:34,396 Why, just this morning, 1164 01:02:34,502 --> 01:02:37,335 he banged the wife of the guy sitting next to him. 1165 01:02:37,439 --> 01:02:39,373 Come on, Turbo. That's impossible. 1166 01:02:39,474 --> 01:02:43,843 I'm in here with you. I'll get you for this! 1167 01:02:47,415 --> 01:02:49,007 Send a message to the warden. 1168 01:02:49,117 --> 01:02:51,017 I'll take him up on his little offer. 1169 01:02:51,119 --> 01:02:54,384 Your interpersonal skills are horrible. 1170 01:02:54,489 --> 01:02:57,049 And you're a terrible gossip. Everybody knows that. 1171 01:02:57,158 --> 01:02:59,888 People talk about you. You cheat at checkers. 1172 01:02:59,995 --> 01:03:03,726 Oh, why resist it? Aah. 1173 01:03:03,832 --> 01:03:07,461 Oop da. Yeah, easy. That's right. 1174 01:03:28,656 --> 01:03:32,057 Make it, take it, be-yotch. 1175 01:03:37,599 --> 01:03:39,726 Yeah! Come on! Is that all you got? 1176 01:03:43,671 --> 01:03:45,696 I hope you weren't planning on leaving today. 1177 01:03:54,049 --> 01:03:55,846 Get that shit outta here. 1178 01:03:55,950 --> 01:03:58,544 It's called skills, junior. 1179 01:03:58,653 --> 01:04:02,054 And I guess I got some. Whoa. 1180 01:04:20,008 --> 01:04:21,600 Change of rules. 1181 01:04:21,709 --> 01:04:24,269 Even if you win, you're still gonna stay here. 1182 01:04:28,683 --> 01:04:30,810 What you looking at? I'm not getting it. 1183 01:04:30,919 --> 01:04:33,581 Fine. 1184 01:04:33,688 --> 01:04:36,919 I'll get it. 1185 01:04:43,331 --> 01:04:45,663 I got it. 1186 01:04:45,767 --> 01:04:46,995 Hurry up! 1187 01:04:56,144 --> 01:04:58,169 Shit. 1188 01:05:05,954 --> 01:05:08,479 All right, gang, today we play the Friday Night Lights. 1189 01:05:08,590 --> 01:05:10,649 They're one of the best teams in the conference. 1190 01:05:10,758 --> 01:05:13,283 I'm not going to lie to you. 1191 01:05:13,394 --> 01:05:15,328 There's a lot of drama going on over there. 1192 01:05:15,430 --> 01:05:18,194 Just found out that Rick fell off the wagon. 1193 01:05:18,299 --> 01:05:19,732 He's drinking again. 1194 01:05:19,834 --> 01:05:21,358 And Lyla is cheating on Jason 1195 01:05:21,469 --> 01:05:23,198 with Tim, if you can believe that. 1196 01:05:23,304 --> 01:05:25,568 Smash can't control his temper, 1197 01:05:25,673 --> 01:05:27,334 and I just found out 1198 01:05:27,442 --> 01:05:28,340 that last night, 1199 01:05:28,443 --> 01:05:29,535 Billy and Tyra 1200 01:05:29,644 --> 01:05:31,475 had a pre-homecoming party 1201 01:05:31,579 --> 01:05:33,672 and it got broken up by the cops, 1202 01:05:33,781 --> 01:05:36,045 which means, for us... 1203 01:05:36,151 --> 01:05:38,711 automatic victory- they're not gonna make it! 1204 01:05:41,823 --> 01:05:44,087 Rock n' roll! 1205 01:05:57,705 --> 01:05:59,673 Blue, 22! Hike! 1206 01:07:19,887 --> 01:07:20,945 - Hey. - Hey, Coach. 1207 01:07:21,055 --> 01:07:23,387 - How's it going, Coach? - Good game, guys. 1208 01:07:23,491 --> 01:07:25,516 Thanks 1209 01:07:54,071 --> 01:07:57,666 Oh, for the love of the game. 1210 01:08:17,228 --> 01:08:18,991 We all remember that touching story 1211 01:08:19,096 --> 01:08:20,893 of the autistic high school boy 1212 01:08:20,998 --> 01:08:22,659 who was finally given his chance to play. 1213 01:08:22,766 --> 01:08:25,030 This amazing story has inspired people 1214 01:08:25,136 --> 01:08:26,797 from all different walks of life. 1215 01:08:26,904 --> 01:08:28,565 Last night, at Cleveland General Hospital, 1216 01:08:28,672 --> 01:08:31,641 Dr. Edmund Grand allowed Billy, a longtime orderly, 1217 01:08:31,742 --> 01:08:34,210 a chance at his dream. 1218 01:08:34,311 --> 01:08:36,336 Touching story out of Cleveland. 1219 01:08:36,447 --> 01:08:38,881 Time of death- 8:05. 1220 01:08:40,184 --> 01:08:42,379 There you are. 1221 01:08:42,486 --> 01:08:43,578 Well... 1222 01:08:47,725 --> 01:08:51,923 Tonight should be the greatest night of my life, Barb. 1223 01:08:52,029 --> 01:08:55,260 But those kids, they still just don't get it. 1224 01:08:56,834 --> 01:08:58,665 Who's that? 1225 01:08:58,769 --> 01:09:00,464 Who's who? 1226 01:09:00,571 --> 01:09:02,163 That guy in the bed with you. 1227 01:09:02,273 --> 01:09:04,366 Right there. 1228 01:09:04,475 --> 01:09:07,069 Oh... um... 1229 01:09:07,178 --> 01:09:08,873 I didn't think you'd mind. 1230 01:09:08,979 --> 01:09:10,879 We-We took in a foreign exchange student. 1231 01:09:10,981 --> 01:09:12,710 He's a foreign exchange student? 1232 01:09:12,816 --> 01:09:13,714 Uh-huh. 1233 01:09:13,817 --> 01:09:15,444 Where you from? 1234 01:09:16,787 --> 01:09:18,687 I'm from, uh... 1235 01:09:18,789 --> 01:09:21,087 Banging-Your-Wife-Istan. 1236 01:09:21,192 --> 01:09:22,716 Where is that? 1237 01:09:22,826 --> 01:09:24,191 It's, uh... 1238 01:09:24,295 --> 01:09:27,196 it's a little south of, uh, Doing-Barb's-Fine-Ass-Yvania. 1239 01:09:29,633 --> 01:09:31,760 All right, Coach, all right. 1240 01:09:31,869 --> 01:09:35,464 I... I just couldn't take it anymore. 1241 01:09:35,573 --> 01:09:37,006 You were never here, and I am a woman 1242 01:09:37,107 --> 01:09:39,473 - in her sexual prime. - Yeah. 1243 01:09:39,577 --> 01:09:41,841 Don't try to stop me, Coach. 1244 01:09:41,946 --> 01:09:45,109 I have finally found a man who gives me what I need. 1245 01:09:47,151 --> 01:09:49,449 There isn't a Doing-Barb's- 1246 01:09:49,553 --> 01:09:51,783 Fine-Ass-Yvania, is there? 1247 01:09:51,889 --> 01:09:53,880 Is there? 1248 01:09:58,596 --> 01:10:00,655 Big story developing out of Plainfolk, Texas. 1249 01:10:00,764 --> 01:10:02,595 Heartland State head coach Lambeau Fields 1250 01:10:02,700 --> 01:10:05,635 is taking an unusual stance against academic excellence. 1251 01:10:05,736 --> 01:10:07,863 He has locked his team out of practice all week, 1252 01:10:07,972 --> 01:10:10,270 and now the squad is in danger of forfeiting the upcoming 1253 01:10:10,374 --> 01:10:12,638 conference championship at the Toilet Bowl. 1254 01:10:23,787 --> 01:10:27,279 You sure got to have some big clankers to come in here. 1255 01:10:27,391 --> 01:10:31,589 Go ahead. Do your worst. 1256 01:10:31,695 --> 01:10:33,595 My wife left me. 1257 01:10:33,697 --> 01:10:35,824 Aw, hell. 1258 01:10:37,067 --> 01:10:40,366 It's my fault. I forgot she was there. 1259 01:10:41,472 --> 01:10:45,101 Boys, if you find that perfect gal 1260 01:10:45,209 --> 01:10:47,939 that has all the little things, 1261 01:10:48,045 --> 01:10:50,275 and, yet, she's willing to enhance them surgically 1262 01:10:50,381 --> 01:10:52,178 into bigger things. 1263 01:10:52,283 --> 01:10:54,808 And she doesn't mind showing them to your friends 1264 01:10:54,918 --> 01:10:57,284 at a New Year's Eve party, 1265 01:10:57,388 --> 01:10:58,548 that's a gal. 1266 01:10:58,656 --> 01:11:00,647 - Yeah. - That's the gal. 1267 01:11:00,758 --> 01:11:04,125 Well, don't take it so hard, poon cheeks. 1268 01:11:04,228 --> 01:11:06,196 We've all walking in on a loved one 1269 01:11:06,297 --> 01:11:09,494 getting barn-doored by a half rack of bird doggers. 1270 01:11:09,600 --> 01:11:11,500 - Yeah. - Yeah, we sure have. 1271 01:11:11,602 --> 01:11:12,830 Ow. 1272 01:11:12,936 --> 01:11:15,166 Hell, I remember when my Dorothy left me, 1273 01:11:15,272 --> 01:11:17,866 and I did everything I could to get her back. 1274 01:11:17,975 --> 01:11:21,342 And when I did, I made sure that she'd never leave me again. 1275 01:11:21,445 --> 01:11:23,345 How'd you do that? 1276 01:11:23,447 --> 01:11:26,143 I treated her like a queen- 1277 01:11:27,551 --> 01:11:29,985 Like an Egyptian queen. 1278 01:11:30,087 --> 01:11:32,647 Mummified and entombed her in the basement. 1279 01:11:33,757 --> 01:11:36,590 Her shrieks of help like music to my ears. 1280 01:11:36,694 --> 01:11:39,254 It's all about communication, fellas. 1281 01:11:39,363 --> 01:11:42,389 My Jeanie, she used to wag her finger in front of my face 1282 01:11:42,499 --> 01:11:44,433 and bug the bejesus out of me. 1283 01:11:44,535 --> 01:11:48,494 But, well, we sat down and when we discussed it 1284 01:11:48,605 --> 01:11:50,539 in a mature manner and-and- 1285 01:11:50,641 --> 01:11:54,008 and now sh-she'll never, 1286 01:11:54,111 --> 01:11:57,512 never wave this finger in front of me again. 1287 01:11:57,614 --> 01:11:59,878 Amen to that. Hey, you know what? 1288 01:11:59,983 --> 01:12:01,746 I'm gonna tell you something. It's about compromise. 1289 01:12:01,852 --> 01:12:04,013 Now take Salamander here. 1290 01:12:04,121 --> 01:12:06,521 Now we get up in each other's rifle racks now and again. 1291 01:12:06,623 --> 01:12:10,684 But then we make up and talk about it. We bangity-boo. 1292 01:12:12,329 --> 01:12:13,557 You know what I'm saying, Coach? 1293 01:12:13,664 --> 01:12:15,632 Solid advice, fellas. 1294 01:12:15,733 --> 01:12:17,564 You're good people. 1295 01:12:17,668 --> 01:12:19,693 It's still locked. 1296 01:12:24,441 --> 01:12:26,136 What's up, guys? 1297 01:12:26,243 --> 01:12:29,337 It's time to do something we should have done long ago. 1298 01:12:29,446 --> 01:12:31,141 Get in the back. 1299 01:12:31,248 --> 01:12:33,409 Let's go. 1300 01:12:33,517 --> 01:12:36,145 Let's do it! 1301 01:12:36,253 --> 01:12:38,813 I think we're gonna need a bigger truck. 1302 01:12:54,571 --> 01:12:56,562 I can't believe you, Dad. 1303 01:12:56,673 --> 01:12:59,301 Haven't you put the team through enough? 1304 01:12:59,410 --> 01:13:02,072 They did it to themselves, Michelle. 1305 01:13:02,179 --> 01:13:04,545 I finally found someone that I care about 1306 01:13:04,648 --> 01:13:06,707 and you're taking away his dreams. 1307 01:13:06,817 --> 01:13:10,048 Sweetie, Trotter only cares about himself. 1308 01:13:10,154 --> 01:13:13,282 I don't like Trotter anymore. 1309 01:13:13,390 --> 01:13:16,188 There's somebody else. 1310 01:13:16,293 --> 01:13:19,057 Someone kind and sensitive. 1311 01:13:19,163 --> 01:13:20,425 Someone who 1312 01:13:20,531 --> 01:13:22,761 loves to laugh and... 1313 01:13:22,866 --> 01:13:26,461 makes me feel wanted and alive. 1314 01:13:26,570 --> 01:13:29,869 Michelle, I'm your daddy. 1315 01:13:29,973 --> 01:13:33,602 I'm talking about Lance. 1316 01:13:33,710 --> 01:13:35,041 Oh... Oh, good. 1317 01:13:35,145 --> 01:13:38,444 He's a good boy. He has a future. 1318 01:13:38,549 --> 01:13:41,484 This could be the real thing. 1319 01:13:41,585 --> 01:13:44,247 I want what you and Mom have. 1320 01:13:44,354 --> 01:13:45,946 Herpes. 1321 01:13:46,056 --> 01:13:48,217 No! 1322 01:13:48,325 --> 01:13:50,486 True love. 1323 01:13:50,594 --> 01:13:52,027 Oh... 1324 01:13:59,069 --> 01:14:01,560 Well, if you find it, hold on to it tight. 1325 01:14:01,672 --> 01:14:04,140 Look at me. I blew it. 1326 01:14:04,241 --> 01:14:07,176 I promised your mother I wouldn't let this job 1327 01:14:07,277 --> 01:14:10,804 get in the way of our family, and I failed her. 1328 01:14:16,119 --> 01:14:17,916 It's not too late, Dad. 1329 01:14:18,021 --> 01:14:21,013 You can change all of this. 1330 01:14:21,124 --> 01:14:26,187 All you have to do is win the championship. 1331 01:14:26,296 --> 01:14:28,594 Can't I lose by just a little? 1332 01:14:28,699 --> 01:14:32,601 No, Dad. You have to win. 1333 01:14:32,703 --> 01:14:36,434 You've spent your whole life losing, 1334 01:14:36,540 --> 01:14:39,805 and this is your last, and actually first chance, 1335 01:14:39,910 --> 01:14:42,708 to prove everyone wrong. 1336 01:14:42,813 --> 01:14:45,441 I know you're scared. 1337 01:14:45,549 --> 01:14:48,143 But you have to remember, 1338 01:14:48,252 --> 01:14:50,447 there used to be a... 1339 01:14:50,554 --> 01:14:53,682 a big, big man inside of you. 1340 01:14:53,790 --> 01:14:55,223 There's a reason for that. 1341 01:14:55,325 --> 01:14:57,486 I was in prison, I didn't have a choice. 1342 01:14:57,594 --> 01:14:58,561 No, uh... 1343 01:14:58,662 --> 01:15:03,929 What I'm trying to say is that... 1344 01:15:04,034 --> 01:15:05,865 I believe in you, Dad. 1345 01:15:05,969 --> 01:15:08,164 Oh... 1346 01:15:08,272 --> 01:15:10,763 And Mom does, too. 1347 01:15:10,874 --> 01:15:12,501 Sweetie... 1348 01:15:12,609 --> 01:15:16,045 Thank you. 1349 01:15:16,146 --> 01:15:19,980 Well... 1350 01:15:22,085 --> 01:15:24,679 Then I better take care of business. 1351 01:15:25,956 --> 01:15:29,551 And when I'm done, we're gonna win that championship. 1352 01:16:03,961 --> 01:16:05,861 What the hell is going on here? 1353 01:16:05,963 --> 01:16:07,931 Hey, Coach. 1354 01:16:08,031 --> 01:16:11,364 Buddy Boy smashed a whole 12-pack over his forehead. 1355 01:16:11,468 --> 01:16:14,369 I Pod's doing body shots out of his belly button. 1356 01:16:16,073 --> 01:16:17,097 And Jorge, he's been dancing like this 1357 01:16:17,207 --> 01:16:19,471 for the past six hours. 1358 01:16:20,911 --> 01:16:23,971 And Jasminder, she made 300 bucks. 1359 01:16:25,115 --> 01:16:26,446 And I think that Randy lost his cherry 1360 01:16:26,550 --> 01:16:29,018 to Gwen Stefani over there. 1361 01:16:29,119 --> 01:16:32,145 And our signed contracts. 1362 01:16:35,158 --> 01:16:39,117 I have never been so proud of a team in my entire life. 1363 01:16:39,229 --> 01:16:40,526 Yes! 1364 01:16:40,631 --> 01:16:42,223 Who do you play for? 1365 01:16:42,332 --> 01:16:43,890 Comebacks! 1366 01:16:45,202 --> 01:16:46,191 Hello, everyone. 1367 01:16:46,303 --> 01:16:48,134 Al Michaels, along with John Madden, and welcome 1368 01:16:48,238 --> 01:16:51,207 to Odessa, Texas, home of the second annual Toilet Bowl. 1369 01:16:51,308 --> 01:16:53,242 And-And this is the place you really want to be, Al- 1370 01:16:53,343 --> 01:16:55,903 I mean, right in the middle of the Toilet Bowl. 1371 01:16:56,013 --> 01:16:58,379 I mean, there's no place in the world I'd rather be. 1372 01:17:17,601 --> 01:17:19,501 What's this, Freddie? 1373 01:17:19,603 --> 01:17:23,004 Your players look like a bunch of thankless thugs and thieves. 1374 01:17:23,106 --> 01:17:25,574 That's because they are. 1375 01:17:25,676 --> 01:17:27,041 They're my gridiron gang. 1376 01:17:27,144 --> 01:17:31,240 So, you want to forfeit, 1377 01:17:31,348 --> 01:17:35,182 save yourself a lot of embarrassment and pain? 1378 01:17:35,285 --> 01:17:37,719 Why would I start now? 1379 01:17:39,823 --> 01:17:41,950 Lance! 1380 01:17:43,527 --> 01:17:45,427 Michelle. 1381 01:17:45,529 --> 01:17:47,497 I left something for you in your locker. 1382 01:17:47,597 --> 01:17:48,996 For good luck. 1383 01:17:49,099 --> 01:17:50,088 I know. 1384 01:17:50,200 --> 01:17:51,929 I'm wearing it. 1385 01:17:52,035 --> 01:17:52,967 What? 1386 01:17:53,070 --> 01:17:55,595 The lace bra and the... 1387 01:17:55,706 --> 01:17:58,402 crotch-less panties. 1388 01:17:58,508 --> 01:18:00,772 No. I left you a note. 1389 01:18:00,877 --> 01:18:02,139 Oh. 1390 01:18:02,245 --> 01:18:04,213 A note saying that I'm sorry 1391 01:18:04,314 --> 01:18:06,748 for the way that I treated you. 1392 01:18:06,850 --> 01:18:09,648 That I was afraid of a real relationship. 1393 01:18:09,753 --> 01:18:12,119 That I'm not afraid anymore. 1394 01:18:12,222 --> 01:18:15,385 That I am dying to let you know how much I love you. 1395 01:18:15,492 --> 01:18:17,653 Nope, I never got that. 1396 01:18:17,761 --> 01:18:19,854 Oh. Okay, well, check. 1397 01:18:19,963 --> 01:18:22,523 Maybe it fell into the back of your locker or something. 1398 01:18:22,632 --> 01:18:24,099 Yeah, I'll... okay. 1399 01:18:24,201 --> 01:18:25,225 Lance. 1400 01:18:26,369 --> 01:18:28,462 Wait. 1401 01:18:28,572 --> 01:18:32,941 There's something else that I wanted to give you. 1402 01:18:33,043 --> 01:18:34,670 This. 1403 01:18:47,190 --> 01:18:48,316 Well, isn't that sweet? 1404 01:18:48,425 --> 01:18:50,586 Trotter... 1405 01:18:50,694 --> 01:18:52,821 We'll settle this on the field. 1406 01:18:52,929 --> 01:18:55,420 Woo! Michelle! 1407 01:18:55,532 --> 01:18:56,794 Got your letter, baby. 1408 01:18:56,900 --> 01:18:58,458 You and me after the game, mama. 1409 01:19:00,070 --> 01:19:02,334 Woo! Yeah. 1410 01:19:04,474 --> 01:19:05,964 John, the excitement is so thick 1411 01:19:06,076 --> 01:19:07,941 in this stadium, you could cut it with a knife. 1412 01:19:08,044 --> 01:19:09,136 A-A-And there's two things 1413 01:19:09,246 --> 01:19:10,713 that I love to cut with a knife. 1414 01:19:10,814 --> 01:19:13,214 One of'em is turkey, and the other one is excitement. 1415 01:19:13,316 --> 01:19:14,510 And if you're a Comebacks fan, 1416 01:19:14,618 --> 01:19:16,142 you got to hope they're not the turkeys. 1417 01:19:16,253 --> 01:19:17,584 But you have to believe 1418 01:19:17,687 --> 01:19:19,450 the Unbeatables will be the guys with the knives. 1419 01:19:19,556 --> 01:19:22,992 Take a look down there- it's unbelievable what's going on.! 1420 01:19:26,630 --> 01:19:27,654 Believers coming through! 1421 01:19:27,764 --> 01:19:30,096 - That's right! Get up! - Get up! 1422 01:19:30,200 --> 01:19:32,100 - That's right. What's up? - Come on. What's up! 1423 01:19:32,202 --> 01:19:33,260 What's up, eighth row? 1424 01:19:33,370 --> 01:19:34,496 Uh-uh! 1425 01:19:34,604 --> 01:19:36,538 And the team captains 1426 01:19:36,640 --> 01:19:40,132 take the field, ready for the ceremonial coin toss. 1427 01:19:40,243 --> 01:19:41,642 Call it in the air. 1428 01:19:41,745 --> 01:19:44,805 And when I say "it," I do mean the coin. 1429 01:19:44,915 --> 01:19:46,746 Where is it? 1430 01:19:48,318 --> 01:19:50,081 Now where is it? 1431 01:19:50,187 --> 01:19:52,747 It's right here in your ear. 1432 01:19:54,524 --> 01:19:56,424 Call it in the air. 1433 01:19:57,994 --> 01:19:58,983 We'll receive. 1434 01:20:31,061 --> 01:20:32,551 Yeah, baby! Yeah! 1435 01:20:35,031 --> 01:20:37,898 Okay, ready... hut! 1436 01:20:38,001 --> 01:20:39,798 Unbeatables back to pass. 1437 01:20:39,903 --> 01:20:41,097 He's wide open.! 1438 01:20:41,204 --> 01:20:42,364 The bomb.! 1439 01:20:43,807 --> 01:20:44,774 He could go 1440 01:20:44,875 --> 01:20:47,571 all the way... 1441 01:20:47,677 --> 01:20:49,372 to Mexico.! 1442 01:21:03,927 --> 01:21:05,724 Green-20! 1443 01:21:05,829 --> 01:21:07,490 Green-20! 1444 01:21:07,597 --> 01:21:09,258 Hut! 1445 01:21:09,366 --> 01:21:10,492 Nah, you take that! 1446 01:21:12,335 --> 01:21:15,099 You take that! 1447 01:21:15,205 --> 01:21:16,001 Ooh! 1448 01:21:16,106 --> 01:21:17,505 Like you took my girl! 1449 01:21:17,607 --> 01:21:22,135 Personal foul. Cock blocking. 1450 01:21:28,885 --> 01:21:31,945 Look, it's nothing personal, Trotter. 1451 01:21:32,055 --> 01:21:33,454 I'm in love with her, man. 1452 01:21:33,556 --> 01:21:36,525 Man, only thing you love is taking my girl from me. 1453 01:21:36,626 --> 01:21:38,059 Man, would you guys shut up? 1454 01:21:38,161 --> 01:21:40,061 This game's bigger than the two of you. 1455 01:21:40,163 --> 01:21:41,926 Football taught me how to cope... 1456 01:21:42,032 --> 01:21:44,227 with anger, with life. 1457 01:21:44,334 --> 01:21:46,234 This team's all I got. 1458 01:21:46,336 --> 01:21:48,270 Without it, I have nothing. 1459 01:21:48,371 --> 01:21:49,599 Back on the skreets. 1460 01:21:49,706 --> 01:21:50,764 Dude, 1461 01:21:50,874 --> 01:21:52,466 your parents just bought you a house. 1462 01:21:52,575 --> 01:21:53,906 A condo. A junior one-bedroom. 1463 01:21:54,010 --> 01:21:56,342 Where am I supposed to park my Prius, dawg? 1464 01:21:56,446 --> 01:21:57,606 All right, all right. 1465 01:21:57,714 --> 01:22:00,342 Pro-right-94, on one. On one. Ready? 1466 01:22:00,450 --> 01:22:01,439 Break! 1467 01:22:03,586 --> 01:22:04,280 Hut! 1468 01:22:06,389 --> 01:22:07,413 How about a flag, ref? 1469 01:22:07,524 --> 01:22:08,786 My guy's getting mugged out there. 1470 01:22:08,892 --> 01:22:12,521 Don't take my Gold Card, man. Come on. 1471 01:22:12,629 --> 01:22:15,359 That's ridiculous. How much is he paying you? 1472 01:22:15,465 --> 01:22:18,366 A 1,000 dollars a call. Twice the going rate. 1473 01:22:18,468 --> 01:22:20,197 Where is it now? 1474 01:22:20,303 --> 01:22:22,066 Hut! 1475 01:22:32,182 --> 01:22:34,082 Come on, ref! That's attempted homicide! 1476 01:22:34,184 --> 01:22:35,378 You gotta call that! 1477 01:22:37,120 --> 01:22:38,678 What are you guys, blind? 1478 01:22:43,460 --> 01:22:45,792 Unbeatables up the middle 1479 01:22:45,895 --> 01:22:48,887 for an easy touchdown.! 1480 01:22:48,999 --> 01:22:50,557 They're running all over the Comebacks, 1481 01:22:50,667 --> 01:22:53,261 who are more than overmatched. 1482 01:22:53,370 --> 01:22:56,567 JIM Jim Rome here, and this is a ridiculous 1483 01:22:56,673 --> 01:22:59,369 half-time score:35 to nothing.! 1484 01:22:59,476 --> 01:23:02,707 We believe. We believe. 1485 01:23:05,448 --> 01:23:06,574 We believe. 1486 01:23:06,683 --> 01:23:10,210 So, you ready to give up? 1487 01:23:10,320 --> 01:23:11,787 Almost. 1488 01:23:11,955 --> 01:23:14,287 Hey, hey, my favorite part of the game- 1489 01:23:14,391 --> 01:23:15,983 the half-time show.! 1490 01:23:16,092 --> 01:23:18,026 Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake couldn't make it, 1491 01:23:18,128 --> 01:23:20,392 so instead, we present you with this wholesome salute 1492 01:23:20,497 --> 01:23:21,896 to American values. 1493 01:23:22,999 --> 01:23:24,466 The weekend's here 1494 01:23:24,567 --> 01:23:27,229 The weather's nice, two football teams are playin' 1495 01:23:27,337 --> 01:23:29,237 I put your favorite beer on ice 1496 01:23:29,339 --> 01:23:31,239 But the couch is where you're staying 1497 01:23:33,777 --> 01:23:35,677 The game is on the plasma screen 1498 01:23:35,779 --> 01:23:37,508 Got deep-fried snacks for munchin' 1499 01:23:37,614 --> 01:23:39,411 Rootin' for the home team 1500 01:23:39,516 --> 01:23:42,144 Oops, wardrobe malfunction 1501 01:23:53,530 --> 01:23:54,690 I mean, I mean, 1502 01:23:54,798 --> 01:23:56,129 it started out where she was wearing 1503 01:23:56,232 --> 01:23:57,722 a lot of clothes, then she wasn't wearing 1504 01:23:57,834 --> 01:23:59,995 a lot of clothes, and then boom, I got a chubby. 1505 01:24:00,103 --> 01:24:01,695 Take a knee. 1506 01:24:01,805 --> 01:24:03,670 Listen up. 1507 01:24:05,475 --> 01:24:07,773 I've been a loser all my life. 1508 01:24:07,877 --> 01:24:10,710 I came into this world ass-first. 1509 01:24:10,814 --> 01:24:15,808 I was raised as a girl till my walnuts dropped at age 13. 1510 01:24:15,919 --> 01:24:19,377 I didn't lose my virginity until I was 22. 1511 01:24:19,489 --> 01:24:21,354 That was by accident. 1512 01:24:21,458 --> 01:24:22,982 I didn't know 1513 01:24:23,093 --> 01:24:25,618 I was gonna have to pay for it- I thought it was a date. 1514 01:24:27,063 --> 01:24:29,122 I've destroyed everything I've ever touched, 1515 01:24:29,232 --> 01:24:31,496 chased away everyone who's ever loved me. 1516 01:24:33,002 --> 01:24:34,469 I am... 1517 01:24:35,572 --> 01:24:38,234 ...a failure as a husband 1518 01:24:38,341 --> 01:24:40,468 and a father and a coach. 1519 01:24:41,945 --> 01:24:44,573 And a human being. 1520 01:24:55,158 --> 01:24:57,558 Um... Coach? 1521 01:24:57,660 --> 01:24:59,252 Isn't this the part 1522 01:24:59,362 --> 01:25:01,193 where you turn your personal tragedies 1523 01:25:01,297 --> 01:25:03,094 and shortcomings 1524 01:25:03,199 --> 01:25:05,030 into a rousing, inspirational rally cry? 1525 01:25:06,069 --> 01:25:07,730 Huh? 1526 01:25:10,440 --> 01:25:12,601 Oh. That's a great idea. 1527 01:25:12,709 --> 01:25:15,109 You're a real asset to the team! 1528 01:25:15,211 --> 01:25:16,439 Well, thanks, Coach. 1529 01:25:16,546 --> 01:25:18,946 Does that mean I can play in the second half? 1530 01:25:19,048 --> 01:25:21,175 No, absolutely not. 1531 01:25:21,951 --> 01:25:24,010 All right. 1532 01:25:24,120 --> 01:25:25,417 All right. 1533 01:25:28,725 --> 01:25:32,126 I don't think I have to tell you all, 1534 01:25:32,228 --> 01:25:37,427 the scope of the second half is to... 1535 01:25:37,534 --> 01:25:39,058 aim high. 1536 01:25:41,571 --> 01:25:43,300 And I... 1537 01:25:43,406 --> 01:25:46,705 pledge... to all of you. 1538 01:25:46,809 --> 01:25:47,776 That you will be 1539 01:25:47,877 --> 01:25:49,606 showered... 1540 01:25:49,712 --> 01:25:51,111 by the cheers 1541 01:25:51,214 --> 01:25:54,206 and shouts of joy... 1542 01:25:54,317 --> 01:25:56,148 from your fans. 1543 01:25:57,520 --> 01:25:58,817 It depends... 1544 01:26:00,523 --> 01:26:02,582 ...on you now. 1545 01:26:02,692 --> 01:26:03,989 Remember... 1546 01:26:04,093 --> 01:26:05,492 your preparation 1547 01:26:05,595 --> 01:26:07,961 H... 1548 01:26:08,064 --> 01:26:10,555 and you can all be... 1549 01:26:10,667 --> 01:26:12,328 champs! 1550 01:26:12,435 --> 01:26:14,164 Yeah, champs! 1551 01:26:14,270 --> 01:26:17,899 All right, let's close our eyes and bow our heads. 1552 01:26:21,878 --> 01:26:23,641 Okay, you can open your eyes again. 1553 01:26:23,746 --> 01:26:25,907 All right, let's go get 'em! 1554 01:26:28,885 --> 01:26:30,182 Second half just under way, 1555 01:26:30,286 --> 01:26:32,811 and despite the score, it seems the Comebacks 1556 01:26:32,922 --> 01:26:34,480 are even more fired up.! 1557 01:26:34,591 --> 01:26:36,218 And nobody wants this 1558 01:26:36,326 --> 01:26:38,021 more than Coach Fields. 1559 01:26:38,127 --> 01:26:39,287 That's the way! That's the way! 1560 01:26:39,395 --> 01:26:41,454 Hope you had a good rest, Oprah. 1561 01:26:41,564 --> 01:26:44,965 Actually, Coach gave a very inspirational spee... 1562 01:26:45,068 --> 01:26:47,559 Wait a minute, what'd you say? 1563 01:26:47,670 --> 01:26:50,503 Oprah. I'm saying you're as fat as Oprah, you fat ass! 1564 01:26:50,607 --> 01:26:53,167 Are you saying Oprah's fat? 1565 01:26:53,276 --> 01:26:56,006 Oprah's an incisive and charitable lady, 1566 01:26:56,112 --> 01:26:57,636 you miserable piece of shit! 1567 01:27:02,619 --> 01:27:04,951 The toss to Trotter... 1568 01:27:08,057 --> 01:27:10,651 Ooh.! And Truman lays a huge block.! 1569 01:27:10,760 --> 01:27:11,351 Go, go! 1570 01:27:13,429 --> 01:27:14,794 Yeah! 1571 01:27:14,897 --> 01:27:16,262 That's the way! 1572 01:27:25,108 --> 01:27:27,201 Truman scrambling. 1573 01:27:27,310 --> 01:27:29,005 Nowhere to go.! 1574 01:27:29,112 --> 01:27:31,342 Oh, look at that, Trotter takes out two Unbeatables.! 1575 01:27:31,447 --> 01:27:32,812 I mean, I mean, 1576 01:27:32,915 --> 01:27:34,542 looks like he's gonna score, Al.! 1577 01:27:34,651 --> 01:27:37,347 The Comebacks are finally starting to play like a team.! 1578 01:27:37,453 --> 01:27:41,514 Yes! Yes! Yes. 1579 01:27:41,624 --> 01:27:43,319 Oh! 1580 01:27:44,661 --> 01:27:47,391 - Yeah! - Yeah! 1581 01:27:47,497 --> 01:27:48,794 Nice block. 1582 01:27:48,898 --> 01:27:50,229 Thanks. 1583 01:27:51,334 --> 01:27:52,699 Nice run. 1584 01:27:52,802 --> 01:27:54,702 Thanks. 1585 01:27:56,806 --> 01:27:58,740 Hey, Lance. 1586 01:28:00,143 --> 01:28:02,134 Be good to her, man. 1587 01:28:06,149 --> 01:28:08,117 Be good to her, too. 1588 01:28:20,096 --> 01:28:22,223 Not all about winning, is it? 1589 01:28:29,906 --> 01:28:32,067 Hey, cameraman! 1590 01:28:33,776 --> 01:28:35,744 I hope you're watching, Barb. 1591 01:28:35,845 --> 01:28:37,403 John, it looks like Coach Fields 1592 01:28:37,513 --> 01:28:39,640 is holding up the sign, "I heart you." 1593 01:28:39,749 --> 01:28:41,512 Oh, he loves me. 1594 01:28:41,617 --> 01:28:44,609 Like chili fries and the smell of his own burps. 1595 01:28:44,721 --> 01:28:47,212 He loves you, Barb. He loves you, Barb. 1596 01:28:47,323 --> 01:28:50,258 He loves you, Barb. He loves you, Barb. 1597 01:28:50,360 --> 01:28:53,352 He loves you, Barb. He loves you, Barb. 1598 01:28:53,463 --> 01:28:56,023 He loves you, Barb. He loves you, Barb. 1599 01:28:56,132 --> 01:28:59,590 Why can't I have that? 1600 01:28:59,702 --> 01:29:01,567 It's so beautiful. 1601 01:29:01,671 --> 01:29:02,638 Aww. 1602 01:29:04,507 --> 01:29:05,565 Hey, Coach! 1603 01:29:05,675 --> 01:29:07,973 Suppose I can get in the game? 1604 01:29:09,479 --> 01:29:11,470 Hey, guys, look who's back. 1605 01:29:11,581 --> 01:29:13,708 - I'm a quick healer. - Hey, gang. 1606 01:29:13,816 --> 01:29:15,283 The cavalry's arrived. 1607 01:29:15,385 --> 01:29:17,376 And he goes by the name of- 1608 01:29:17,487 --> 01:29:20,012 Aseel Tare. 1609 01:29:20,123 --> 01:29:23,581 Okay, I got it. ACL Tear, get out there. Let's go. 1610 01:29:25,061 --> 01:29:26,585 Not you Randy. Not you. 1611 01:29:29,365 --> 01:29:30,889 Set! 1612 01:29:31,000 --> 01:29:33,059 Brown-88! Hike! 1613 01:29:34,570 --> 01:29:37,232 Aseel Tare with the carry. 1614 01:29:40,042 --> 01:29:41,839 Look at that.! 1615 01:29:41,944 --> 01:29:45,573 He's got the entire defense on his back. 1616 01:29:50,086 --> 01:29:51,383 The pile is clearing, John. 1617 01:29:51,487 --> 01:29:53,182 Yeah, yeah, it is. And take a look at that. 1618 01:29:53,289 --> 01:29:54,779 He got ripped into pieces. 1619 01:29:54,891 --> 01:29:55,619 Oh! 1620 01:29:58,895 --> 01:30:02,797 No worries! I'm a quick healer. Whoo! 1621 01:30:02,899 --> 01:30:03,957 Yeah! 1622 01:30:04,066 --> 01:30:05,124 John, what we're seeing here 1623 01:30:05,234 --> 01:30:06,724 is a definite shift in momentum. 1624 01:30:06,836 --> 01:30:08,394 I mean, we-we really are, Al. 1625 01:30:08,504 --> 01:30:10,267 I mean, y-you take a look at what's happening 1626 01:30:10,373 --> 01:30:12,068 a-and they were down by a lot 1627 01:30:12,175 --> 01:30:13,802 and now they're not down by as much 1628 01:30:13,910 --> 01:30:16,538 and-and pretty soon they could erase this deficit. 1629 01:30:16,646 --> 01:30:19,046 Randy. 1630 01:30:19,148 --> 01:30:20,706 Randy. 1631 01:30:20,817 --> 01:30:22,409 Randy. 1632 01:30:22,518 --> 01:30:24,611 Randy! Randy! 1633 01:30:24,720 --> 01:30:29,953 Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy! 1634 01:30:30,059 --> 01:30:35,190 Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy! 1635 01:30:37,200 --> 01:30:39,395 They're calling your name, son. 1636 01:30:39,502 --> 01:30:40,867 Get out there! 1637 01:30:40,970 --> 01:30:42,665 Randy! Randy! 1638 01:30:44,106 --> 01:30:46,472 Go! Go, Randy! 1639 01:30:46,576 --> 01:30:48,168 Would you look at this.! 1640 01:30:48,277 --> 01:30:50,108 Randy Randinger is making 1641 01:30:50,213 --> 01:30:53,148 his first appearance ever for the Comebacks.! 1642 01:30:53,249 --> 01:30:56,650 Randinger's wide open.! 1643 01:31:04,594 --> 01:31:06,562 He scores.! 1644 01:31:06,662 --> 01:31:08,220 Unbelievable.! 1645 01:31:13,069 --> 01:31:15,003 Blue-ten! 1646 01:31:15,104 --> 01:31:16,401 Hut! 1647 01:31:18,140 --> 01:31:19,164 Ooh! 1648 01:31:23,446 --> 01:31:26,006 Randinger with a block out of nowhere.! 1649 01:31:26,115 --> 01:31:28,083 You are not gonna believe this.! 1650 01:31:28,184 --> 01:31:29,583 The Comebacks score.! 1651 01:31:36,893 --> 01:31:39,987 How was it, son, everything you'd hoped it would be? 1652 01:31:40,096 --> 01:31:42,121 Hey, thought you might want this... 1653 01:31:42,231 --> 01:31:45,325 Get away! Get away! Get away! 1654 01:31:45,434 --> 01:31:47,299 Aah! 1655 01:31:47,470 --> 01:31:50,064 Blue-22! Blue-22! 1656 01:31:50,172 --> 01:31:51,537 Hut! 1657 01:31:54,577 --> 01:31:55,475 Yes! 1658 01:31:57,079 --> 01:31:58,808 He knows our playbook. 1659 01:31:58,915 --> 01:32:01,008 What? How is that possible? 1660 01:32:01,117 --> 01:32:03,415 Freddie knows all my secrets, 1661 01:32:03,519 --> 01:32:06,317 where I get all my plays. 1662 01:32:12,595 --> 01:32:14,495 What are we gonna do? 1663 01:32:14,597 --> 01:32:17,361 Someone else has to call the play, 1664 01:32:17,466 --> 01:32:19,900 someone Freddie wouldn't expect, 1665 01:32:20,002 --> 01:32:22,971 someone who thinks outside the Xbox. 1666 01:32:24,273 --> 01:32:26,673 I Pod! 1667 01:32:26,776 --> 01:32:28,937 I Pod. Hey, there, little buddy. 1668 01:32:29,045 --> 01:32:31,946 How would you like to call a play, huh, 1669 01:32:32,048 --> 01:32:33,606 help us win a championship? 1670 01:32:33,716 --> 01:32:35,013 What do you say? 1671 01:32:36,118 --> 01:32:37,346 What do I say? 1672 01:32:37,453 --> 01:32:39,819 Man, I been waiting all season for you to ask. 1673 01:32:40,957 --> 01:32:42,322 Dude, I have been humping legs, 1674 01:32:42,425 --> 01:32:43,392 carrying this... 1675 01:32:43,492 --> 01:32:45,619 stupid cord all over the damn place, 1676 01:32:45,728 --> 01:32:47,958 and now, fourth quarter of the last game, 1677 01:32:48,064 --> 01:32:50,089 you come and ask me for... 1678 01:32:50,199 --> 01:32:52,861 All right, all right! Just call the play, will ya? 1679 01:32:52,969 --> 01:32:54,197 Get out of my... 1680 01:32:54,303 --> 01:32:56,601 Watch yourself, watch yourself. 1681 01:32:56,706 --> 01:32:58,071 All right, everybody, come on. 1682 01:32:59,175 --> 01:33:01,439 974-wing bandit. 1683 01:33:01,544 --> 01:33:03,910 - Let's go get 'em! - Let's go get 'em! Let's go! 1684 01:33:08,718 --> 01:33:10,709 Audible! 1685 01:33:10,820 --> 01:33:13,414 Let's switch it up! 1686 01:33:13,522 --> 01:33:14,784 Shift! 1687 01:33:19,528 --> 01:33:20,825 Shift! 1688 01:33:26,369 --> 01:33:27,768 What the heck is that? 1689 01:33:27,870 --> 01:33:30,998 That... is the I Pod Shuffle. 1690 01:33:40,583 --> 01:33:42,312 Hut! 1691 01:33:42,418 --> 01:33:45,546 Trotter... back to Truman... 1692 01:33:47,523 --> 01:33:49,650 ...back to Trotter... 1693 01:33:49,759 --> 01:33:51,090 Who scores.! 1694 01:33:51,193 --> 01:33:52,956 I mean, that was incredible.! 1695 01:33:53,062 --> 01:33:55,087 Phenomenal.! 1696 01:33:55,197 --> 01:33:57,358 Coach Wiseman has got to be feeling the heat 1697 01:33:57,466 --> 01:33:59,331 as the Comebacks only trail 1698 01:33:59,435 --> 01:34:01,198 by one touchdown. 1699 01:34:02,271 --> 01:34:04,171 It's fourth and goal. 1700 01:34:04,273 --> 01:34:07,538 With just seconds remaining, the fate of the Comebacks 1701 01:34:07,643 --> 01:34:10,612 lies in the hands of quarterback Lance Truman. 1702 01:34:10,713 --> 01:34:12,908 Ref! Time out! 1703 01:34:14,650 --> 01:34:15,810 I can't do it, Coach. 1704 01:34:15,918 --> 01:34:17,613 What's the problem? 1705 01:34:17,720 --> 01:34:19,745 What if I drop the ball? 1706 01:34:19,855 --> 01:34:22,847 And what if you don't? 1707 01:34:23,959 --> 01:34:26,792 Damn! 1708 01:34:26,896 --> 01:34:28,955 Give me your hands. 1709 01:34:33,235 --> 01:34:34,862 Aw, geez! 1710 01:34:34,970 --> 01:34:36,130 Lance. 1711 01:34:36,238 --> 01:34:37,364 Yeah? 1712 01:34:37,473 --> 01:34:39,065 Do it for me. 1713 01:34:41,243 --> 01:34:42,540 Okay. 1714 01:34:42,645 --> 01:34:43,475 Okay. 1715 01:34:43,579 --> 01:34:46,605 We can do this, guys. 1716 01:34:46,716 --> 01:34:47,808 Yeah! 1717 01:34:51,754 --> 01:34:55,053 Let's do this! Oh! 1718 01:34:55,157 --> 01:34:56,590 - Yeah, Lance! - Come on! 1719 01:34:56,692 --> 01:34:59,058 Set! 1720 01:34:59,161 --> 01:35:00,423 Hut! 1721 01:35:05,267 --> 01:35:06,996 Hold on to it, Lance. 1722 01:35:14,543 --> 01:35:15,840 Yeah! 1723 01:35:23,619 --> 01:35:24,779 Get out there, Jiz! 1724 01:35:24,887 --> 01:35:25,945 Wait. 1725 01:35:26,055 --> 01:35:28,990 We're not playing for the tie. 1726 01:35:29,091 --> 01:35:31,116 I say we go for the win! 1727 01:35:32,728 --> 01:35:33,854 Get out there! 1728 01:35:35,297 --> 01:35:37,288 They're going for two? 1729 01:35:37,399 --> 01:35:38,764 Don't worry. 1730 01:35:38,868 --> 01:35:41,894 I got one more page in my playbook. 1731 01:35:46,208 --> 01:35:47,971 Set! 1732 01:35:48,077 --> 01:35:49,840 Looks like the Unbeatables coach, 1733 01:35:49,945 --> 01:35:53,540 Freddie Wiseman, has entered the game at middle linebacker.! 1734 01:35:53,649 --> 01:35:56,209 Time out, Comebacks. 1735 01:35:58,120 --> 01:36:02,113 John, something weird seems to be going on down on the field. 1736 01:36:02,224 --> 01:36:03,816 Yeah, it looks like Lambeau Fields 1737 01:36:03,926 --> 01:36:06,087 Was suiting up- I think he's gonna go 1738 01:36:06,195 --> 01:36:08,629 for the two-point conversion himself. 1739 01:36:10,800 --> 01:36:12,392 Coach! 1740 01:36:12,501 --> 01:36:14,401 Coach! 1741 01:36:14,503 --> 01:36:16,869 It's me, honey! I'm here! 1742 01:36:34,690 --> 01:36:37,921 I'd give anything for one last shot. 1743 01:36:38,027 --> 01:36:40,928 Because that's what you do, Coach, you lose.! 1744 01:36:41,030 --> 01:36:42,520 I want what you and Mom have. 1745 01:36:42,631 --> 01:36:44,189 Herpes. 1746 01:36:44,300 --> 01:36:47,098 Set! Green-20! 1747 01:36:47,203 --> 01:36:49,194 Green-20! Hike! 1748 01:37:00,950 --> 01:37:02,713 Yeah! 1749 01:37:04,053 --> 01:37:05,645 The Comebacks did it.! 1750 01:37:05,754 --> 01:37:07,346 Coach Fields has finally done it.! 1751 01:37:07,456 --> 01:37:08,480 The Comebacks win! 1752 01:37:08,591 --> 01:37:09,580 Do you believe in miracles? 1753 01:37:09,692 --> 01:37:10,852 Yes! 1754 01:37:10,960 --> 01:37:12,325 How long have you been waiting to say that? 1755 01:37:12,428 --> 01:37:14,020 The Comebacks have won.! 1756 01:37:14,129 --> 01:37:15,391 They beat the Unbeatables.! 1757 01:37:15,497 --> 01:37:16,862 Phenomenal.! 1758 01:37:19,902 --> 01:37:22,370 We did it! We did it! 1759 01:37:27,910 --> 01:37:30,378 My shit goin' to Disney World, baby. Yeah! 1760 01:37:30,479 --> 01:37:31,571 - Dude, guess what! - What? 1761 01:37:31,680 --> 01:37:33,272 My parents just said we could use the beach house 1762 01:37:33,382 --> 01:37:34,713 in the Hamptons for the week to celebrate! 1763 01:37:34,817 --> 01:37:36,512 - No way! Oh, my God! - Yeah! 1764 01:37:36,619 --> 01:37:38,018 And I get a real tattoo! 1765 01:37:52,534 --> 01:37:54,866 I love you, Dad. 1766 01:37:58,540 --> 01:38:01,566 - My boy! - Dad! 1767 01:38:01,677 --> 01:38:03,645 Coach! Coach! 1768 01:38:08,250 --> 01:38:09,478 I'm okay. 1769 01:38:10,986 --> 01:38:13,250 Barbara! 1770 01:38:13,355 --> 01:38:14,253 Coa... 1771 01:38:14,356 --> 01:38:15,323 Oh! 1772 01:38:15,424 --> 01:38:17,324 Barbara! 1773 01:38:17,426 --> 01:38:19,291 Oh, God! Oh! Oh! Oh! 1774 01:38:19,395 --> 01:38:20,726 Barb! 1775 01:38:25,501 --> 01:38:28,061 Barb! 1776 01:38:30,339 --> 01:38:32,398 Get out of my way! 1777 01:38:32,508 --> 01:38:34,669 Coach! Coach! 1778 01:38:34,777 --> 01:38:36,677 Oh! I'm so sorry. 1779 01:38:36,779 --> 01:38:38,406 I love you so much. 1780 01:38:38,514 --> 01:38:39,776 I love you, too. 1781 01:38:40,883 --> 01:38:43,716 I'm a winner, Barb. 1782 01:38:43,819 --> 01:38:45,878 I'm hanging up my whistle for good. 1783 01:38:45,988 --> 01:38:47,546 I'm never gonna let sports come 1784 01:38:47,656 --> 01:38:49,521 before you and the kids ever again. 1785 01:38:56,999 --> 01:38:58,523 Uh, Coach Fields? 1786 01:38:58,634 --> 01:39:00,534 Coach Fields, excuse me? 1787 01:39:00,636 --> 01:39:02,501 Name's Gabe Low. 1788 01:39:02,604 --> 01:39:04,595 I'm looking for a new head basketball coach 1789 01:39:04,707 --> 01:39:06,402 at Sequel University, 1790 01:39:06,508 --> 01:39:08,373 and I think you're just the man. 1791 01:39:08,477 --> 01:39:10,377 Well, mister, 1792 01:39:10,479 --> 01:39:13,812 I sure don't know anything about basketball... 1793 01:39:15,317 --> 01:39:17,581 ...but I'll take it! - Coach Fields! 1794 01:39:17,686 --> 01:39:19,950 Coach, how does it feel 1795 01:39:20,055 --> 01:39:21,784 to finally win a championship game? 1796 01:39:21,890 --> 01:39:25,382 Um... to be honest, it really hasn't hit me yet. 1797 01:39:29,698 --> 01:39:32,895 I thought it would feel better than this. 1798 01:40:26,922 --> 01:40:29,857 You guys are ripping me apart! 1799 01:41:10,866 --> 01:41:11,992 Let's do it! 1800 01:41:12,101 --> 01:41:14,535 I think we're gonna need a bigger truck. 1801 01:41:16,271 --> 01:41:18,637 All right, huddle up! 1802 01:41:18,740 --> 01:41:19,968 Break! 1803 01:41:20,075 --> 01:41:22,475 Lend an ear, take a knee. 1804 01:41:26,215 --> 01:41:27,648 Clock's running down. 1805 01:41:27,749 --> 01:41:29,478 The game is on the line. 1806 01:41:29,585 --> 01:41:31,212 No time outs left. 1807 01:41:31,320 --> 01:41:33,345 Not gonna go for the tie. 1808 01:41:34,523 --> 01:41:35,990 This time I'm gonna win.! 1809 01:41:37,759 --> 01:41:39,317 See an open door.! 1810 01:41:41,130 --> 01:41:43,598 Gonna walk right in.! 1811 01:42:17,866 --> 01:42:21,063 Nobody shed a tear for old Freddie. 1812 01:42:21,170 --> 01:42:23,138 At least, not after he... 1813 01:42:23,238 --> 01:42:27,174 "borrowed" $200,000 from the school's booster club, 1814 01:42:27,276 --> 01:42:30,211 moved his athletic ass on down to Mexico 1815 01:42:30,312 --> 01:42:33,577 and entered into a consensual polygamous relationship 1816 01:42:33,682 --> 01:42:36,617 With two fine-looking young ladies. 1817 01:42:38,921 --> 01:42:40,889 Adios, y'all. 1818 01:42:42,925 --> 01:42:45,325 Aw, Scruffy! 1819 01:42:46,895 --> 01:42:48,590 I think we nailed it! 1820 01:46:47,702 --> 01:46:49,294 Thank you! Good night! 123999

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