All language subtitles for Some.Girls.S03E03_English

♪ People keep sayin' I'm doin' it wrong ♪

♪ But I say it feels all right ♪

♪ I really do try, really
do try, really do try ♪

♪ There's a million things
that I can't change ♪

♪ But maybe it's all right ♪

♪ This is my life, this is
my life, this is my life ♪

- [Rocky On Monitor] So
then Baby Bear says, Blud,

someone's been chilling in my chair

and he's still chilling there.

(baby cooing)

Yes, my evil plan is working.

- What evil plan?

- I'm synchronizing Bean's nap

with you coming home from school at 4:30,

so 4:30 can be our special doing it time.

- I like your thinking.

- Average afternoon nap is 27 minutes.

- Might be able to do it twice.

- I like your thinking.

- Maybe even three times.

- Ambitious but doable.

- Come on.

(baby cooing)

- No, is she waking up?

- No, we're good.

That's her going to sleep noise.

Her waking up noise is more
like, maaa, maaa, maaa.

- Can you really tell the difference?

- Yeah!

I know all her noises.

There's um, um, um.

That's, pick me up.

There's whaaa, whaaa, whaaa.

That's, give me food.

- It's amazing.

You speak fluent baby.

- There's ugg, ugg, ugg.

That's, look at me bouncing.

That's my favorite.

Apart from, ahhhh.

- What's that?

- That's you at 4:30.

- Come on.

- I'm home.

- Oh well.

Hi, Dad.

- So when are we going to tell your dad

about us getting married?

Let's tell him now.

- We can't tell him now, he'll freak out.

- Freak out?

Me, why?

- No reason.

- What's going on?

- Come on, Viva, it'll be fine.

Trust me.

- I'm not sure.

- Don't you trust me?

Remember, I was right about
banana pizza, wasn't I?

- This is different.

- We have to tell him now.

Look, if he's going to hurt
anyone, it's going to be me.

- True.

If I'm going to hurt anyone,
it's more likely to be him.

Especially if this is what I think it is.

- No!
- No.

- No, I'm not pregnant, Dad.

No, it's it's just that me

and Rocky have decided to get engaged.

- Wow!

That's fantastic news!

- You're pleased?

Well yeah, I mean Rocky's kind, he's good.

What more could I ask for in a son-in-law?

Plus, I thought you were pregnant,
so it's kind of a relief.

- Thanks, Rob.

I'm going to make your
daughter very happy.

- I know.

- Every day at 4:30.

- Shhh!

Thanks for being so supportive, Dad.

- No problem.
(baby crying)

I'll get Bean.

(laughing)
Congratulations.

There.

- Congratulations?

He was so laid back.

He was too laid back.
(baby squawking)

- Uh oh, that's, I've done a massive crap.

(fun upbeat music)

- I like your fringe.

- You like my fringe?

That's a weird thing to
have a meeting about.

- Don't be dumb, Saz.

That isn't what the meeting's about.

Why would Holli and Amber be here if

it was about your fringe?

No, the meeting's about maths.

As you may know, Holli
and Amber will soon be

re-taking their Maths GCSE again.

- What about it?

- I've chosen you, Saz,
out of the entire school,

to be my number one choice in
helping them get through it.

- Isn't that the job of their teacher?

- Miss Bailey, that dopey little imbecile?

She couldn't help water
get through a sieve.

- True dat.

- So, I'm asking you, Saz, as their friend

and as a member of the
Greenshoots community,

will you help them?

- No.

- Is that the end of the meeting?

- Sit down, Holli!

So, what if I called your parents, Saz,

and explained that when you
told them you were orienteering,

you were, in fact, at a music
festival with 30,000 men?

- And still not one
who wanted to shag her.

- You wouldn't do that.

You're not allowed to do that.

You can't do that.

- You'll help?

That's great and I want
a promise from you two

that you'll work hard.

- Yes, miss.

It's really nice that
you care about our maths.

- Basically, Amber,
Greenshoots is sliding down the

school league table faster than
a sheep falling off a cliff.

And I've pushed a sheep off
a cliff, and I've pushed

a sheep off a cliff so
I know how fast that is.

And it's my job to push the
fudging sheep back up the cliff.

- What sheep?

- She's saying she doesn't
actually care about your maths,

she's just doing her job.

- Oh, but is there a sheep?

(phone buzzing)

- Holli Vavasour, give me that phone.

Can't stop thinking about fudging you.

From Tonka.

- Fucking not fudging.

- Thanks, Holli.

Now that I'm a mother, I don't
use swear words any more,

I prefer baby friendly alternatives.

(phone buzzing)

- That's her other phone.

Probably her other boyfriend.

He likes fudging her as well.

- You see why I don't want to tutor them?

- Yes, I do, but you won't
have to do this alone, Saz,

I'm going to get you some help.

Viva?

Hi, it's Mummy Anna.

I do that to freak her out.

Yeah, it has.

You're volunteering to
help Saz tutor Holli

and Amber in maths.

Yep, Viva's helping you.

- Guess who I saw yesterday?

Sophie Sutton, used to go Greenshoots.

- I remember her.

Wanted to stay a virgin for Jesus.

- Yeah, she's got three kids
by three different dads now.

- Three?

Fuck, Jesus would not be happy.

- They're all so cute,
all different colors.

There's a little mixed race
one who looks like Brandon

and what our baby would look-

- Amber, it's over.

He's banging Shantelle.

- I don't care about him.

I don't care about Shantelle.

I just want a baby.

- You'll have a baby one day, Amber.

- I want a baby now.

- Be easier when you've found
someone to provide the sperm.

- I don't want a man, I
just really want a baby.

- Can't you just get another pet?

- I've had every pet.

Goldfish, hamster, cat, dog,

turtle that turned out to be a tortoise.

Do you know that if you put
a tortoise in water, it dies?

- Yeah, I remember that very clearly.

- We keep the spare car keys
in its shell to remind us.

So it didn't die in vain.

- I bet his tortoise soul loves that.

- I'm ready for a human baby now.

To love and to love me back
and to dress in little hats

and to do this to.

(speaking jibberish)
- Oww!

Please, don't ever do that to a real baby!

(fun upbeat music)

Rocky, it's 4:30!

(baby crying)

- [Rocky On Monitor] Yeah,
I'm sorry we lost Froggie,

but Squeaky Pig likes nap time, too.

- Hey.

It's 4:30.

- Bean's asleep.

So busy today.

She's really trying to
pull herself up to walk.

I filmed her on my phone.

(baby on phone laughing)
- Cute.

Let's go to the bedroom.

- Right, just need a minute to chill.

- Why?

Really exhausting morning.

We dropped her Froggie somewhere
between here and Baby Club,

then spent three hours looking for it.

- Well, she's got loads of toys.

- It was her favorite frog, Viva.

She was crying for an hour.

- Okay, well, it's gone 4:30.

- What you doing?

- Just taking off your clothes.

- Right, it's just that I'm so tired.

- Rocky!

What about us doing it?

- Look, I still fancy you, I'm just tired.

- Oh my god, too tired for sex?

I didn't think this would happen

till we were middle-aged people of 37.

(school bell ringing)

- Where's Viva?

I thought she was helping you?

- I told her not to worry.

I've got this.

So we're going to kick
off with a quick test

to find out how much you know.

Don't worry, I'm assuming it's nothing.

- Um, I think you're
going to find out we know

a lot more than you think we know, Saz.

- We're going to start with geometry.

- I thought we were doing maths.

- It is maths, Amber.

Get out your equipment.

Your maths equipment.

- No one told us to bring maths equipment.

- I just automatically assumed you'd know.

But then I realized that
was dumb, so I went out

and bought you some new
stuff with my own money.

I know, I'm awesome.

Don't worry, it's fine.

(phone buzzing)

- Hang on, hang on, I
just need to check this.

- Leave it.
- I can't leave it.

- She can't leave it,
Connor's her main man.

- He wants us to go cinema.

- That sounds fun.

- Some shit-sounding
romcom, Nappy Ever After.

- That sounds amazing.

Can I come?

- No, 'cause we won't be watching,

we'll be trying to have sex
at the back behind the seats.

- I don't care, I just
want to see the film.

- Can't you have sex at home?

- There's more people at my
house than at the cinema.

- Mmm, me and Brandon had that problem,

but we worked out if you
hold down floors two,

three and seven of the lift at Northside,

it jams the lift long enough to you know.

- Have a loving intimate encounter?

- Exactly.

- Watched only by all the security staff

on the security monitors,
all their friends

and anyone prepared to
put their card details

into shagginginlifts.com.

- So you're saying I could be famous?

(phone beeping)

- Can we get back to the
subject of maths now, please?

- Ever done it in the toilets at TK Maxx?

- What's the point of
me trying to help you

if you won't focus on maths?

It's like you don't care at all.

- I don't care.

Mr. Jefferies is helping me get on

a scaffolding apprenticeship,
so why should I bother?

- I would care more if
there was a real sheep.

(gasping) I remember these!

And you got us the tiny swords.

- Compasses.

Who knows what those are for?

- Tiny sword fights, obviously.

- Obviously.

(compasses clicking)

- Can one of you just
stab me to death, please?

(fun upbeat music)

- I've got all the
application forms for doing

a part-time childcare course next year.

- So you're really serious
about this nannying thing?

I thought you might get bored soon

and go back to your PE teacher idea.

- No, this is what I really
want to do with my life.

- This is what you really, really want?

- I haven't really wanted
anything this much since

you was going out with Tyler Blaine

and I really wanted him
to get run over and die

a horrible death with his head
smashed all over the road.

- Aw!

- We've got to build a
society of good people.

We've got to end the
wars, the hate, the hurt.

- Right, but can't you do
that by being a PE teacher?

- Each baby is a building block.

I'm going to help create excellent babies

and build an excellent society
for the future of the planet.

- You do realize this planet
has seven billion people?

- One baby at a time, that's
how I'm going to do this, Viva.

One baby at a time.

I wrote up my notes on Bean's day for you.

- Thank you, Rocky.

- I'll see you tomorrow.

- I've read his notes.

She said, gaa, quite a lot

and she really doesn't like carrot mash.

- No, no spoilers.

- This is great?

He really loves his work, doesn't he?

- I know what you're doing, Dad.

I know exactly what's going on here.

- What?

- It's classic reverse psychology.

You act like you're all delighted

that I'm getting engaged to Rocky,

because you think that I'll
want to do the opposite.

- No, I'm genuinely happy for you.

- I thought you'd at least be
wanting me to marry someone

who's a graduate or someone
with a vocational qualification

and the ability to support a family.

- Rocky is Bean's nanny,

that's the most important job going.

- Right, like you believe that.

You can't manipulate me, Dad.

Don't forget, I study psychology.

- I just want you to
make your own decisions,

like I've always done.

You know, I got engaged at 18.

When that all ended, I
got engaged again at 22.

And then when I was 25, I met your mum.

- Your life's been a total car crash.

Three marriages.

- You want to get engaged, it's up to you.

- No, hang on, three marriages?

You told me two.

- Yeah, I sometimes forget Sue.

- Bull-sugar, Rob.

Like fudge you can forget a whole wife.

- Well, she was quite bland.

- If we could bring this back to me

and Rocky for a moment please, Dad.

- No, we can't!

Because me and that ducksucker
father of yours are going to

be tracing his entire
marital history in detail.

And I'm warning you, you son of a buskett,

I want to see all the documents.

(funky upbeat music)

- There.

Line up your pens, she'll love that.

Quick, here she comes.

- Good pen arrangement.

- Told you.

- So, this lesson's going to be different.

No compass fights, no
texting, no faking a seizure

and pretending to die.

- I can't help getting texts.

These men are crazy for me.

- I'm confiscating your
phones before we start.

Hand them over.

- I'll put them on silent.

- Hand them over or I walk.

- Do you want my phone?

- Yes, please, Amber.

Right no distractions,
let's talk fractions.

- (laughing) You did a rhyme.

No distractions, let's talk fractions,

even worse than adding and subtractions.

Sorry.

Brandon used to get really
angry with me for rapping,

but since we're split up, I
thought I was free to rap.

I guess not.

- Oh my god, those people
have left their baby.

Hey!

- It's okay.

It's not their baby.

- It's my baby.
- What?

- She's borrowed one of Sophie's babies.

- Meet Shalimar, she's six weeks old.

- You're kidding me?

- 'Cause I told her how
much I wanted a baby

and she said I could practice
with hers any time I like.

- Don't worry, Saz,
Shalimar's really quiet.

She'll be-
(baby crying)

No trouble.

(fun upbeat music)

- She's even cute when she's crying.

- This is impossible.

- Shh, she's settling down now, look.

- Aw, I love her tiny fingers.

- I know.

Do you like her, Holli?

- She's all right.

- Look, smell her head.

- No, I don't want to smell her head.

Or any part of her.

- You're mean!
- That is mean, Saz.

- You two are saying I'm mean?

- It wouldn't hurt you to smell her head.

- I'm trying to help you.

- Calm down, Saz, you'll upset Shalimar.

- I don't care about Shalimar.

I just want to help you with your maths.

Wait, how come you've got your phones?

- Had to do a bit of urgent texting.

- How are you even doing that?

- Trained myself.

I'm completely ambi-texterous.

- The word's ambidextrous.

- No, she's invented a word.

- You can't just go round
inventing words, it's illegal.

- They have to start somewhere, Saz.

- So you just took the
phones out of my bag?

- Yep.

- That's it, I've had
enough, I'm resigning.

- Resigning?
- From being her maths tutor.

No one listens to me!

No-one values my time!

No-one cares about maths!

And Holli's got two boyfriends
and I haven't even got one!

- Saz, wait.
- No!

- The two boyfriend thing is a bit greedy.

(fun upbeat music)

- Want to go and get chips?

- I'm just just working.

- What on?

- What you looking up nannies' wages for?

- Rocky's decided that he
wants to be a nanny as a career

and I'm just interested
in his earning potential.

- Shouldn't you two be
revising for your mock?

- We've done our mock,
we're having a rest.

- So are you gonna break off
the engagement just because

he's not going to be rich enough?

- No, that would be really shallow.

- I'm really shallow.

I only like people with dimples.

- You like us.

- I make an exception for
people I've known a long time,

before my dimple rule came in.

- Hey.

- I'd break it off if I was you.

You only got engaged to him out of pity.

- Not true.

- Come on, you was going to say no

till he looked like he was going to cry.

- No, I realized how much I love him.

- Feeling sorry for
someone isn't a good basis

for a marriage.

- Oh, relationship advice
from Holli Vavasour,

the expert on boys.

How are your two boyfriends, Holli?

Enjoying being lied to and cheated on?

They seem to be loving it if
this text is anything to go by.

- (gasping) That's dirty!

Really dirty!

You really did that?

- Yep, behind the back row of screen two,

just as Keira Knightley
discovered that R-Patz

was a millionaire businessman
and not a one-legged tramp.

- So how did your mock go?

- We haven't found out yet.

- Bet it went shit.

- Saz!
- What?

I'm pissed off!

Don't you two realize there
are girls in other countries

prepared to get their heads half blown off

for the chance to be educated?

Totally wasted on you.

Bet you can't think of a single thing

you've learned, can you?

Thought not.

- I'm sure you can
think of lots of things.

- Um.

- Okay, I'm going to go, too.

See you guys later.

- I know, red blood
cells are the only cells

in the human body without a nucleus.

I knew I learned something.

- You could be a doctor.

- I fucking hate ill people.

(upbeat guitar music)

(crying)

- Amber, is that you?

- [Amber] Go away!

- What's the matter?

- [Amber] Nothing.

- Come out.
- No!

- I've got a mint Kit-Kat you can have.

- We got our scores back from Bitchcock.

She yelled at us for 23 minutes.

She only stopped because
her voice went croaky.

(sniffling)

- Who's that?
- Holli.

- Crying, Holli crying?

- Bitchcock broke Holli.

- Holli, are you all right?

- [Holli] Fuck off, you horrible cow!

- I don't think she fully broke Holli.

- I'm not crying 'cause of Bitchcock.

- Wasn't you?

I was.

Why was you crying, then?

- This came.

- Prison paper.

- It's from her dad.

- His writing is so squiggly.

Dear, Holli.

I can't wait to be with my family again.

I'm so proud of you Holli
for everything you've done,

especially helping Mum
and especially staying on

at school to get some I
think that word's supposed

to be qualifications.

Love you always and see
you soon, clever girl.

From your dad.

(crying)
- Oh my god.

- I know, it's like he's
never heard of commas

and full stops.

- I really wanted to make him proud.

- He will be proud.

You'll be the only girl
scaffolder in the world.

- I think there's one in Leeds.

Saz, I really want to pass my maths now.

- So do I.

- It looks like, this time,

you really would take it seriously.

- We would.

- We really would.

- Pity we'll never find out
because I'm not helping you.

You mucked around too much last time.

- So 4:30.

Bean's asleep, Jamie's at band
practice and I'm all yours.

- We need to talk.

- Oh, sounds bad.

- What's all this on the floor?

- I done a trail of rose
petals to the bedroom.

- That's really cute.

- I know, and a little bit sexy, right?

- But we still need to talk.

I love you but I'm
worried about the future

and I don't want you to be a nanny.

- What?

- I mean long-term.

I don't want you to be a nanny.

- Viva, everything will work out

so long as we love each other.

- Please stop quoting my dad.

My dad's an idiot.

My dad screwed up so many times.

- No, I can't let you
talk about Rob like that.

(doorbell buzzing)

- Surprise!
- Amber.

- Sophie's letting me
borrow all three now.

Aren't they lovely?

If she had a ginger one,
she'd have one of every race.

- Amber, ginger people aren't a race.

- Um, can we come in?

Sophie asked me to look
after them while she gets

some Islamic symbols
hennaed onto her arms.

- Oh, Rocky's here so.

Yeah, sure, come in.

- Hi, Rocky.

What's all this on the floor?

- I done a trail of rose
petals to the bedroom.

- That is cute and a little bit sexy.

- I know.

- Where's he going?

- He's following the trail of flowers.

Luca, no, you can't eat the flowers.

No!

Well, too late.

Luca, no, not in there!

That's the baby's.

(baby crying)

Well, too late.

- I'd better go and get Bean.

- Is this really your life's ambition?

Herding babies all day?

- I'm not herding babies,
I'm herding future citizens.

(baby crying)

- Rocky, another future
citizen has woken up.

(pulsing upbeat music)

- I expected the guys to
think me being a nanny

was a big joke, not you.

- I don't think it's a joke!

When I think about us
trying to live off your

teeny-weeny earnings, I
actually get tears in my eyes.

- Oh all right, so this is
about expensive gear, 'cause I

won't be able to afford to
get you designer handbags.

- You won't even be able to afford

to get me designer fish fingers.

- I never knew you was so stuck up!

- I just want you to have
a bit of ambition, Rocky!

And not throw yourself
away on being a nanny.

- You know what?

If I'm not good enough for you,
why don't you just dump me?

Again.

- Yeah, we're going to go.

- I don't want to dump you,

I just wish you never dropped out.

- You said you didn't mind!

- I didn't think you'd actually do it!

- We've had a lovely day.

Come on, Luca.

- You could've been
anything that you wanted.

- Viva, this is what I want.

Being with you, looking after Bean!

- You're the one who keeps bringing it up!

Maybe you want me to dump you.

- No.

- I do psychology, I know this stuff.

- Yeah, on paper.

In real life, you're dumber than me!

(baby laughing)

- Where's Bean?

(baby crying)

(phone ringing)
It's ringing.

- Hello, Amber's phone, Saz speaking.

- Saz, are you with Amber?

- I'm at the bus stop.

- Where's Amber?
- I don't know.

- How come you've got Amber's phone?

- I've had it since the
other day in the cafe,

I keep forgetting to give it back.

Hello?
(dial tone beeping)

Hello?

- Amber hasn't got her phone.

- So we put Tallulah in Bean's buggy

and head straight out and look for Amber.

- I'm really scared, Rocky.

I don't even know where Sophie lives.

- It's okay, she's with Amber.

- Why do you think I'm so scared?

- What a day, turns out
Mr. Bartlett's been fudging

Miss Dickens, Miss
Mclntosh and Mr. Clover.

I'm the only core team member
he hasn't been fudging I mean,

I don't want him to fudge me,
but he's never even tried.

- Me and Rocky thought
we'd take Bean for a walk,

give you a break.

- I want a cuddle with my baby girl.

- Why don't you put your feet up.

Get you a glass of wine?

- Good idea but have a cuddle first.

- I'll give you a cuddle.

- Rocky, give me my baby.

Who the fuck is this fucker?

- Anna.

- What the fuck's going on?

Where the fuck's my baby?

- There was a mix-up.

Amber visited.

- Where's my baby?

- Bean's safe.

She's with Amber.

Amber got the babies muddled up.

- Get rid of this one!

Take it out and bring my one back now!

- Sorry, Anna.

- And when you come back,
you're fucking fired,

you dumb fucking fucktard!

- So you must be pleased
that Rocky got fired?

- Of course I'm not
pleased, it's really bad.

He did the lip wobble thing
that makes my chest hurt.

- Yeah, but you didn't
want him to be a nanny

and now he's not.

- I know, but I didn't
want him to get fired.

It wasn't even his fault.

- Whose fault was it?

- Yours.

- (laughing) No, really?

- Yours.

- Mmm, not really.

- All right, me and Saz
had a chat yesterday.

Saz says she'll tutor us in maths.

- Really?

What made you change your mind.

I believe now that they'd work hard.

Also I worked out a way
to make it really fun.

For me, obviously, not them.

- Five times three is 15.

Six times three is 18.

Seven times three is 21.

Eight times three is.

- 25?

- 25, how dare you say 25.

- 24?
- Hands out.

(whip snapping)

24, no more mistakes.

Sit up straight.

(whip snapping)
Straight!

- I said 24.

How come I got whacked?

- Hands out.

(whip snapping)
No answering back!

Maybe I should be a teacher.

- So he's not a nanny any more.

That's what you wanted, wasn't it?

- Yeah, now he's borderline
suicidal, exactly what I wanted.

- All right, love?

Did she go down okay?

- It's really hard
getting her off to sleep

without the frog.

- Yeah, I know.

Squeaky Pig doesn't cut the mustard.

- I just don't seem to have Rocky's knack.

- Please give him his job back, Anna.

(doorbell ringing)
Please!

It wasn't his fault.

It was my fault.

I let Amber in, Amber's my friend.

- No, Viva, it was on Rocky's watch.

He has to take responsibility.

There's nothing left to say,
Rocky, you fudged up big time.

- I just wanted to bring this back.

- Froggie!

Where was it?

I retraced every inch of my
footsteps with Bean that day.

I looked under every bush, in every bin.

I asked every person I saw on the route.

- Yeah, just get to the
fudging point, where was it?

I worked out it was at
the community center.

There's an AA meeting
there after Baby Club.

I tracked down all of the
alcoholics who was at that meeting

and turned out that Hairy
Janet had got Froggie.

- Hairy Janet.

- I washed it, obviously.

I had to give her a tenner.

She claimed it was her higher power.

(baby crying)

- Go on, Rocky, get her settled.

I'm not saying I'm giving
your job back though.

- Please give him another chance, Anna.

- Rocky you can have your old job back.

- Rob!

I was going to give him his job back,

just after I'd tortured him for a bit.

Now it makes it look
like you're the nice one.

- He'll make a great husband.

- Right, you can stop with the
reverse psychology now, Dad.

I get it.

- I've told you before, I mean it.

The scary thing is, I think
you've actually succeeded.

I'm starting to wonder am
I doing the right thing

by getting engaged at
this point in my life.

- Jesus, you can't break up with him now,

it would really fudge up Bean's routine.

- Viva, I wasn't doing reverse psychology,

I was genuinely pleased the whole time.

- Really?

Fudge biscuits, I think
I might be having doubts.

- Don't worry, if you're
anything like your dad,

Rocky'll be out of the
picture in a couple of years,

you'll be on to the next one.

(fun upbeat music)

- So if Sophie had a
baby every nine months

for the next seven years.

- Could happen.

- How many babies will that be altogether?

- Including Luca, Tallulah and Shalimar?

- Seven years, 12 months in a year.

Seven times 12.

Seven times 12, Amber?

- 84, 84?

- She'd have 12 kids all together

and be three months
pregnant with the next one.

- Correct!

- One chocolate button for you.

- Correct?

Fuck me.

- I prefer the chocolate button system

to the getting-hit-with-a-stick system.

- Three babies, three different fathers.

How would that be expressed
as a ratio, Amber?

- Three dot on top of dot three.

- Correct!

- And one chocolate button for you.

- And can I have one for Nigel?

♪ People keep saying I'm doing it wrong ♪

♪ But I say it feels all right ♪

♪ I really do try, really
do try, really do try ♪

♪ There's a million things
that I can't change ♪

♪ But maybe it's all right ♪

♪ This is my life, this is
my life, this is my life. ♪

♪ People keep sayin' I'm doin' it wrong ♪