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1
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天师撞邪 OLAY制作字幕
2
00:00:17,020 --> 00:00:19,650
相传龙虎山张天师
会驱邪抓妖、法力高强
3
00:00:22,410 --> 00:00:24,250
他有一个师弟叫醉道人 辈分很高的
4
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:27,040
但是他整天偷懒 酒瘾又很大
5
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:29,600
就连早上起床，都用酒来漱口
6
00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:32,420
每次都是因为酒醉而误事
7
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,430
每次闯祸多了，就被降级
8
00:00:35,340 --> 00:00:38,370
于是降...降到守门大将军的职位了
9
00:00:38,910 --> 00:00:40,670
他现在又在偷酒喝了呀
10
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:45,720
醉后乾坤大，壶中日月长
11
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:56,900
这么快就没了
12
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:13,770
酒来
13
00:01:17,300 --> 00:01:18,150
师叔公
14
00:01:26,310 --> 00:01:26,800
好可惜啊，一滴也不让它浪费
15
00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:29,650
师叔公
16
00:01:30,130 --> 00:01:31,440
看我的缩骨功，缩、缩、缩……
17
00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:37,940
师叔公啊
18
00:01:45,270 --> 00:01:46,400
居然是酒，不得了，赶快报告师祖去
19
00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:56,900
师叔公啊
20
00:01:58,530 --> 00:01:59,640
你身手怎么湿哒哒的？
21
00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:04,890
是酒！你犯了酒戒了
22
00:02:05,810 --> 00:02:06,290
没有啊
23
00:02:06,820 --> 00:02:10,550
还说没有？连头发都喝酒了，你倒霉了
24
00:02:10,970 --> 00:02:12,920
喝酒……
25
00:02:17,100 --> 00:02:18,960
师叔公，冤枉啊，真的冤枉啊
26
00:02:21,530 --> 00:02:22,930
师叔公
27
00:02:23,730 --> 00:02:26,570
你不要怕，我不像张天师那么老顽固
28
00:02:26,970 --> 00:02:28,620
我这个人开通的很啊
29
00:02:29,590 --> 00:02:30,710
我是很赞成人喝酒的
30
00:02:36,870 --> 00:02:40,140
你偷喝酒我不会去告密的，快去送饭吧
31
00:02:40,980 --> 00:02:41,760
谢谢师叔公
32
00:03:06,780 --> 00:03:14,230
血！血！给我血……我要血，给我血
33
00:03:25,050 --> 00:03:27,120
小法不离扇
34
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大法不离毡
35
00:03:28,510 --> 00:03:29,150
悬丝易容
36
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:41,460
五鬼搬运，急急如律令去
37
00:03:42,650 --> 00:03:46,190
白切鸡、烧鸭、炸鱼、酒菜
38
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,200
宝贝儿，吃饭了
39
00:03:52,870 --> 00:03:54,120
婆婆，来口饭前烟吧
40
00:03:59,140 --> 00:04:01,290
有烟没火，你开我玩笑啊？
41
00:04:01,940 --> 00:04:03,530
有火，来
42
00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:18,920
好孩子，赏你两个铜子儿
43
00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:21,030
才两个子儿啊？
44
00:04:21,530 --> 00:04:22,200
先拿着
45
00:04:27,820 --> 00:04:28,500
够了吧？
46
00:04:29,540 --> 00:04:30,660
多谢婆婆
47
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:32,650
中看不中用喔
48
00:04:37,750 --> 00:04:38,390
是假的
49
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:41,350
如果真的能变钱，世界上就没有穷人了
50
00:04:41,590 --> 00:04:42,120
傻瓜
51
00:04:43,460 --> 00:04:45,640
我们游家，从你祖公游余苏
52
00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:50,730
到你祖父游芝路，再到你爸爸游炸贵
53
00:04:51,550 --> 00:04:53,030
现在传到你游白云这一代
54
00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:56,300
唉...代代单传
55
00:04:57,080 --> 00:05:00,040
半年前，我已经托媒婆帮你找女孩人家了
56
00:05:01,020 --> 00:05:02,710
怎么到现在还是没有什么消息呢？
57
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:04,390
阿婆，不用了
58
00:05:05,150 --> 00:05:06,820
我一定会找一个像母猪一样能生的
59
00:05:07,270 --> 00:05:08,460
来做你的孙媳妇
60
00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:14,550
我去看看
61
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:20,550
游白云 你是不是看不上我的妹妹
62
00:05:21,140 --> 00:05:22,840
不是看不上，是不喜欢
63
00:05:23,780 --> 00:05:25,670
这么嚣张，我看你是欠打了
64
00:05:26,590 --> 00:05:28,200
你敢动手打我？
65
00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:32,360
住手
66
00:05:33,830 --> 00:05:35,720
哎呀 游老太太
67
00:05:36,140 --> 00:05:40,960
我给你六个姑娘的时辰八字让你选
怎么一点回音都没有呀，真的是急死人了
68
00:05:41,510 --> 00:05:41,870
没有呀
69
00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:44,450
怎么会没有呀 我全部给了游公子了的
70
00:05:46,300 --> 00:05:46,900
白云
71
00:05:48,810 --> 00:05:51,740
是不是有这回事呀？
好像是有呀...
72
00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:53,260
为什么你不给我看
73
00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:56,500
老婆是要面对一辈子的，当然是自己找好过
74
00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:01,110
你一定是想我们游家绝后了
我今天一定要帮你选一个老婆
75
00:06:10,530 --> 00:06:14,190
这个针指向那个姑娘中的名字，那就是你的老婆了
76
00:06:17,270 --> 00:06:18,030
好在还有一个缺口
77
00:06:18,700 --> 00:06:19,270
大吉利是
78
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:23,070
先给我伯乖孙子选一个好老婆
79
00:06:30,460 --> 00:06:34,860
这个媒人婆利是我是拿定了呀
应该的...应该的
80
00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:49,680
停呀...停...
81
00:07:01,940 --> 00:07:04,740
我真的是命苦呀，看着我们游家绝后...
82
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:08,880
我不敢看了，不如死了算了
83
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:24,190
阿婆，你不要这么冲动呀
84
00:07:25,150 --> 00:07:26,160
不冲动才怪呀
85
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:29,230
我决定死给你看了
86
00:07:35,860 --> 00:07:36,700
臭小子...
87
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:43,090
我不死，你也不会安心的了
88
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:51,300
我不是真的想要死的呀
89
00:08:03,340 --> 00:08:04,560
阿婆，你没有真的要死吧？！
90
00:08:05,620 --> 00:08:09,740
我现在给你三个月时间去找老婆
过了期限，我就死给你看
91
00:08:32,740 --> 00:08:39,670
老弟，麻烦你帮你看一会儿
我去喝两口 很快就回来的
92
00:08:40,090 --> 00:08:40,810
谢谢你呀
93
00:09:09,540 --> 00:09:12,550
师兄呀 我看见有两个月亮呀
94
00:09:13,060 --> 00:09:13,460
不会吧
95
00:09:14,180 --> 00:09:15,900
不是在天上，是在水里面呀
96
00:09:16,660 --> 00:09:18,390
快过来看一看
97
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:20,380
你看
98
00:09:22,110 --> 00:09:24,850
哪有呀？刚刚当更你就开始眼花了
99
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,740
到那边去巡视一下吧 快点
走吧
100
00:09:51,180 --> 00:09:52,830
怎么样？有没有什么状况
没有什么事情
101
00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:37,370
止步...
102
00:12:37,820 --> 00:12:40,100
止步？
103
00:12:41,250 --> 00:12:41,660
吓唬人呀
104
00:14:05,260 --> 00:14:05,800
师傅
105
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:45,640
师傅，等等我呀
106
00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:52,360
醉道人，你喝酒误事
让那妖人邪胜正逃走了
107
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:55,120
你知道后患无穷吗？
我知罪...
108
00:14:56,580 --> 00:14:57,470
都怪你啦
109
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:02,800
我限你三个月时间将邪胜正活捉回来
否则打入镇妖卢里代替受罪
110
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:30,540
遇风化伞
111
00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:47,220
代代单传？是你爸爸与爷爷他们不争气罢了
这个也怪我
112
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:51,440
我就不一样了，长的多子相，又帅...
113
00:15:56,910 --> 00:15:59,150
臭道士，弄我一面泥，有种你就不要跑...
114
00:16:05,860 --> 00:16:08,000
用酒来洗脸，干净且消毒呀
115
00:16:26,580 --> 00:16:27,800
这一次你死定了
116
00:16:31,550 --> 00:16:32,360
拜拜...
117
00:16:38,140 --> 00:16:40,180
臭小子，将你的快乐建立在我痛苦之上？
118
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:41,160
我打死你
119
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:51,720
飞呀飞呀....
120
00:16:53,140 --> 00:16:54,480
一飞冲天去呀
121
00:16:56,540 --> 00:16:58,120
真的飞上天了啊？！
122
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:22,180
请...
123
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:48,790
赤焰神火
124
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:39,640
师弟，你的赤焰神火 没有什么进步啊
125
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,340
是你的九子连环厉害
126
00:19:41,870 --> 00:19:49,860
我叫你来是要你帮我找九个
生辰八字全属阴的童子鲜血
127
00:19:50,380 --> 00:19:50,910
为什么？
128
00:19:52,020 --> 00:19:53,260
练九阴童子剑
129
00:19:55,300 --> 00:19:56,780
杀死张天师
130
00:19:57,660 --> 00:20:00,870
练九阴童子剑，要残杀七七四十九个小孩的生命
131
00:20:01,470 --> 00:20:03,640
这样子做，太伤天害理了
132
00:20:04,220 --> 00:20:04,540
少废话
133
00:20:06,310 --> 00:20:09,100
我百般修炼，就是要称霸于邪魔界
134
00:20:09,950 --> 00:20:14,070
师兄，神州这么大
我上哪去找八字全属阴的童子呢？
135
00:20:16,100 --> 00:20:21,140
你不是有个女儿的吗
我尽管试试看呀
136
00:20:48,150 --> 00:20:51,150
找老婆，就重要就是要端庄娴熟 美丽大方
137
00:20:52,420 --> 00:20:55,460
这女孩挺符合阿婆的条件
又合我的眼缘
138
00:20:59,420 --> 00:21:00,310
老板 给我一壶茶
139
00:21:04,420 --> 00:21:06,310
为什么我的心扑通扑通直跳呢？
140
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,780
老板给我弄一份斋面呀
好的 马上到
141
00:21:22,170 --> 00:21:24,300
追女仔要胆大心细 脸皮厚的
142
00:21:25,530 --> 00:21:28,550
胆大心细...我明白了
143
00:21:29,780 --> 00:21:30,920
斋面到...
姑娘...
144
00:21:32,310 --> 00:21:32,950
小心点嘛...
145
00:21:44,580 --> 00:21:45,550
有办法
146
00:21:49,350 --> 00:21:51,360
肚子好饿了，去找点东西吃先
147
00:21:52,100 --> 00:21:54,680
小姑娘，我带你去吃东西呀
你喜欢吃什么呢？
148
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:55,940
谁要你带呀！
149
00:21:56,900 --> 00:21:58,580
这么香的？！
你用的哪个牌子的花露水呀？
150
00:21:58,940 --> 00:22:00,520
臭男人 我不理你了
先吃点东西吧
151
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:06,110
小心烫到嘴呀
我们做个朋友，好不好？
152
00:22:07,310 --> 00:22:08,060
我还没有嫁人呢
153
00:22:10,620 --> 00:22:11,290
懒得理你啊
154
00:22:12,180 --> 00:22:13,300
懒得理我？也骂一下我呀
155
00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:17,100
姑娘你要去哪呀 等等我啊
156
00:22:19,250 --> 00:22:21,100
真没天理呀，你哪里不打，打我这里
157
00:22:23,700 --> 00:22:24,740
终于见到你笑了
158
00:22:25,980 --> 00:22:29,260
亲一个...
再亲...
159
00:22:36,980 --> 00:22:37,660
你的肚子？！
160
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:40,610
八个月了，我还没有帮他找到爸爸...
161
00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:43,170
算你运气好 这个算在你的账上了
162
00:22:43,690 --> 00:22:44,400
哎呀 我晕了...
163
00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:48,800
你别走呀
不走才怪呀
164
00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:55,110
这个是什么呀？
165
00:23:04,020 --> 00:23:06,950
各位乡亲父老，在下叫烈为
166
00:23:09,310 --> 00:23:13,860
现在介绍一下我的家传灵符
给各位见识一下
167
00:23:17,830 --> 00:23:22,660
不论是邪风、中风、麻风、死人风
失惊风、马上风都能治的好
168
00:23:23,510 --> 00:23:25,240
你千万不要以为我在发疯
169
00:23:27,750 --> 00:23:30,550
所谓符FIT 符FIT，没有符就不的FIT
170
00:23:30,980 --> 00:23:34,380
如果我符FIT不灵的话，就雷霹死...我
171
00:23:36,790 --> 00:23:40,540
各位，如果身上有什么疑难杂症的
尽管出来试试呀
172
00:23:53,260 --> 00:23:57,890
老兄 我见你面青青 心惊惊
173
00:23:58,780 --> 00:24:01,870
你的背部一定有什么不妥呀
174
00:24:06,180 --> 00:24:10,580
各位，不懂的呢就以为他的是陀峰
其实是背雍
175
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:14,550
如果不及时医治，就会马上死掉了
176
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:18,520
今天算你走运，能够遇到我
177
00:24:19,660 --> 00:24:22,700
收你一百两银票
包你治好
178
00:24:24,140 --> 00:24:25,350
一百两银？！
179
00:24:26,260 --> 00:24:28,220
我宁愿留着买棺材好了
180
00:24:32,780 --> 00:24:35,770
治不治啊？
治...
181
00:24:42,270 --> 00:24:43,060
草纸？！
182
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,220
你省下这钱吧
我免费帮你治病
183
00:24:52,340 --> 00:24:52,960
我的钱呀...
184
00:24:57,510 --> 00:25:02,420
老鼠啊？
怕怕...
185
00:25:03,270 --> 00:25:04,170
金山催眠术
186
00:25:05,630 --> 00:25:10,470
睡睡...睡...
187
00:25:11,310 --> 00:25:13,120
低...低...
188
00:25:19,310 --> 00:25:20,120
太极旋风镜
189
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:57,020
万毒进入长气袋
190
00:26:06,870 --> 00:26:07,320
过气...
191
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:18,740
这个就叫害人终害已了
192
00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:23,660
发生了什么事呀？
193
00:26:24,830 --> 00:26:27,390
你知法犯法，居然敢破我的法
194
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:30,990
你用邪术害人骗钱 这不是好办法
195
00:26:31,660 --> 00:26:33,580
你敢不敢与我斗符法？！
怕你没有头发呀
196
00:26:35,590 --> 00:26:36,220
请...
197
00:26:43,260 --> 00:26:44,270
这么快就出招术了？
198
00:26:44,990 --> 00:26:46,880
小子，你死定的了
199
00:26:49,020 --> 00:26:50,350
你死我还未必死呢
200
00:26:50,820 --> 00:26:52,780
灵符现 显威灵
急急如律令
201
00:27:04,580 --> 00:27:07,790
我这碗五毒水，碰都不能碰
你敢不敢喝呀？
202
00:27:08,580 --> 00:27:09,660
小意思啦
203
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:22,030
我这碗五辣水，一点点就辣的你出烟
你敢不敢试试呀？
204
00:27:22,750 --> 00:27:23,220
敢...
205
00:27:28,790 --> 00:27:31,280
来喝吧
难道喝了会死呀
206
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:45,750
看你喝的这么过瘾啊
207
00:27:48,750 --> 00:27:49,710
很热是不是？
208
00:27:54,420 --> 00:27:56,580
我的穿云箭 百发百中的
209
00:27:57,460 --> 00:27:57,780
开弓
210
00:27:58,670 --> 00:27:58,910
挡住
211
00:28:02,410 --> 00:28:04,180
被挡住了，也不是很厉害啊
212
00:28:05,740 --> 00:28:09,310
上...
213
00:28:09,730 --> 00:28:11,710
糟糕
躲不了了
214
00:28:12,660 --> 00:28:13,420
我看你怎么挡
215
00:28:17,670 --> 00:28:18,740
车大炮
216
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:25,950
我这个小钢炮无坚不摧的
这次你死定了
217
00:28:28,890 --> 00:28:29,750
校准炮口位置
218
00:28:32,940 --> 00:28:34,020
水...
219
00:28:43,470 --> 00:28:44,540
怎么回事，不响的？
220
00:28:56,460 --> 00:28:58,500
兄弟，你的法力真是厉害
221
00:28:58,860 --> 00:29:05,670
那个李教主，在卧龙岭设坛招女婿
如果你去参加，你一定是他女婿了
222
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:17,500
各位乡绅父老 各位武林高手
223
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:22,340
本教主今天在这里招女婿
条件就是要武功高强的人
224
00:29:24,300 --> 00:29:27,630
老伯 我是怕你不行了呀
225
00:29:30,910 --> 00:29:35,350
什么，谁说我不行了，我不是处男的
有眼不识泰山
226
00:29:36,140 --> 00:29:37,080
至于我的女儿嘛
227
00:29:37,620 --> 00:29:39,990
只是看她的半边脸就美艳动人了
228
00:29:40,580 --> 00:29:42,470
其他方面更不用说了
229
00:29:44,580 --> 00:29:46,420
哗 正点啊
230
00:29:50,150 --> 00:29:53,510
凡是时辰八字属全阴，而且还是处男的人
231
00:29:54,130 --> 00:29:56,920
才能与我的女儿相配
现在符合条件的只有三位
232
00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:58,620
是 癞蛤蟆
233
00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:01,820
漆交升
我...有...
234
00:30:02,380 --> 00:30:03,630
游白云
我...
235
00:30:04,820 --> 00:30:09,060
老处男 你的八字生的不够好啊
来咯
236
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:15,070
除了八字合之外，还要穿上特别的新郎服
237
00:30:15,870 --> 00:30:18,500
也就是说你们要走过钉床，跳过火桩
238
00:30:19,490 --> 00:30:21,120
然后再与新娘拜堂
239
00:30:22,710 --> 00:30:24,180
祝你们前途似锦
240
00:30:24,670 --> 00:30:25,660
步步高升
241
00:30:28,820 --> 00:30:30,120
漆交升...
242
00:30:30,900 --> 00:30:32,520
你呀
我当然知道
243
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:05,120
第二位
244
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,790
走错方向了，是那边呀
245
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:13,470
我只是在运功...
246
00:31:24,910 --> 00:31:28,270
装模作样...是假装的...
247
00:31:29,470 --> 00:31:29,980
我弃权
248
00:31:31,060 --> 00:31:32,080
最后一位...
249
00:32:10,230 --> 00:32:11,470
好样的
250
00:32:24,700 --> 00:32:25,150
好啊...
251
00:32:25,370 --> 00:32:26,960
你先到后面休息一会 等候成亲
252
00:32:29,230 --> 00:32:31,470
众望所归 我厉害吧...
253
00:32:44,090 --> 00:32:45,730
请坐...
好呀
254
00:33:00,340 --> 00:33:04,380
里面坐呀
请坐...
255
00:33:07,020 --> 00:33:08,620
这次回去阿婆一定会很开心
256
00:33:10,420 --> 00:33:12,950
啊，我老婆叫什么名字呀？
李爱
257
00:33:13,540 --> 00:33:16,380
我爱？！
不是，姓李，名字叫爱
258
00:33:17,020 --> 00:33:19,880
喔...李爱...李爱
259
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:21,110
不错吧
260
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:24,560
不错...不错
这名字挺好听呀
261
00:33:30,710 --> 00:33:32,710
这样不行呀
这不是给他做了入赘女婿？
262
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:34,880
不行，先出去跟未来岳父商量一下
263
00:33:35,460 --> 00:33:39,550
啊...
摔死我了 救命啊...
264
00:33:40,860 --> 00:33:43,910
救命啊...
看你怕的，这么矮怎摔的死你 你真幽默
265
00:33:50,340 --> 00:33:51,380
李爱
266
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:55,940
钟无艳呀
吓死我了，现在轮到我害怕了
267
00:33:57,690 --> 00:33:58,460
狗翻墙
268
00:34:00,860 --> 00:34:06,340
别走啊
被女人骑过，会倒楣三年的
269
00:34:07,260 --> 00:34:08,860
办好了手续，你还想走？
270
00:34:09,900 --> 00:34:11,580
我还没有入伙，为什么不能走？
271
00:34:12,180 --> 00:34:14,000
你敢走我就阉了你
拿刀来
272
00:34:15,780 --> 00:34:16,750
看你还敢不敢走
273
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:25,500
快跳出去呀
别跑啊
274
00:34:30,390 --> 00:34:31,500
差点让她给阉了啊
275
00:34:32,260 --> 00:34:33,070
走的快好世界
276
00:34:37,580 --> 00:34:39,780
他是你老公，你一定要将他找回来
277
00:34:42,270 --> 00:34:42,940
他要找他算账
278
00:34:47,390 --> 00:34:48,580
我会办好的了
279
00:34:51,630 --> 00:34:55,240
今天都不知道怎么了
都不知道买什么好？
280
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:58,810
你看他？
去，这么难看啊
281
00:34:59,830 --> 00:35:01,090
快点呀，怎么慢慢吞吞的
282
00:35:02,300 --> 00:35:05,140
赚你一点点钱，拼命催，想做死人吗
283
00:35:06,570 --> 00:35:07,620
还给你了 烂裤子...
284
00:35:13,020 --> 00:35:13,900
你还往哪里跑？
285
00:35:16,020 --> 00:35:17,430
你真活该，就会欺负客家人
286
00:35:18,310 --> 00:35:19,320
这次烂的更惨
287
00:35:24,810 --> 00:35:26,750
男女授受不亲呀
你到底要不要与我成亲？
288
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:28,030
我被你吓到了
289
00:35:29,860 --> 00:35:31,060
别走呀
别拉我的裤子啊
290
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:32,710
走光了 非礼啊
291
00:35:33,700 --> 00:35:34,940
非礼啊
有人叫非礼啊
292
00:35:41,660 --> 00:35:42,350
这么倡狂
293
00:35:47,180 --> 00:35:48,220
起来
294
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:50,890
你们两位差大哥来的正好
295
00:35:51,240 --> 00:35:52,490
她呀...
被你非礼是不是？
296
00:35:53,110 --> 00:35:55,040
不是呀
还敢说不是
297
00:35:55,700 --> 00:35:57,140
你也算胆大了 竟然敢在我们地头搞事
298
00:35:59,720 --> 00:36:01,260
我怎么非礼她，你说呀...
299
00:36:02,910 --> 00:36:05,900
看...她说不出来了...
说不出来了吧...
300
00:36:07,170 --> 00:36:08,290
他这样非礼我的...
301
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:10,300
他一见到我就脱下裤子
302
00:36:13,230 --> 00:36:14,270
接着打肿了我的眼睛
303
00:36:15,340 --> 00:36:15,710
这么狠毒...
304
00:36:17,290 --> 00:36:17,860
扯开我的衣服...
305
00:36:20,910 --> 00:36:21,590
后来呢？
306
00:36:23,510 --> 00:36:26,630
后来将我抱上枱，分开我的双脚
扯起我的裙子...
307
00:36:29,140 --> 00:36:29,750
还有呢？
308
00:36:31,700 --> 00:36:32,810
你问他吧...
309
00:36:34,150 --> 00:36:36,360
你们不要相信她呀
难道相信你讲的呀？！
310
00:36:38,900 --> 00:36:39,350
想拒捕呀？
311
00:37:05,420 --> 00:37:07,680
先生 请问有没有
见到一个穿四角内裤的年青人经过
312
00:37:09,910 --> 00:37:10,660
好的 谢谢你
313
00:37:22,020 --> 00:37:24,250
你飞天 我飞天
你跳海 我就跳海 反正你走不了了
314
00:37:30,340 --> 00:37:34,070
你爱我烂 我爱你烂 烂衣服...
315
00:37:34,700 --> 00:37:38,840
每次想扔了你 都不舍得
316
00:37:40,350 --> 00:37:43,760
全身痒
先洗一个澡吧
317
00:37:59,690 --> 00:38:02,580
真舒服
先做一下热身运动呀
318
00:38:05,580 --> 00:38:15,150
我右边擦 我左边擦
我上边擦 我下边擦 擦完胸再擦鞋
319
00:38:26,430 --> 00:38:27,580
顺手捡到一条裤子
320
00:38:30,050 --> 00:38:33,420
谁？
我是路过的，想休息一下行不行？
321
00:38:34,310 --> 00:38:35,100
你自己看着办
322
00:38:38,090 --> 00:38:40,510
老兄 你在里面干什么呀？
洗澡
323
00:38:45,930 --> 00:38:48,440
想看什么...
怎么会没有水的声音？
324
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:50,400
沙漠枭雄出浴啊
325
00:38:50,860 --> 00:38:52,670
那就是有尘没有水呀
326
00:38:53,900 --> 00:38:56,140
醒目，这就叫做干洗了
327
00:38:56,830 --> 00:38:57,380
干洗？
328
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:03,830
这人叫做太乙净身法
在热沙里混进了珍贵的药材
329
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:08,700
可以行气益血
搓出来的老泥还可以治百病呀
330
00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:11,940
这样我也想试试呀
331
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:18,520
好像在哪里见过呀
332
00:39:19,700 --> 00:39:24,850
洗完澡特别清爽
这个葫芦...
333
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:29,270
用来装酒的 你不要动我的宝贝
334
00:39:33,060 --> 00:39:33,860
怎么不见了的？
335
00:39:39,140 --> 00:39:39,780
在这里...
336
00:39:43,720 --> 00:39:45,580
你干什么？ 你同性恋呀？！
337
00:39:46,790 --> 00:39:47,630
这条裤子是我的...
338
00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:50,060
是你？！
就是我呀
339
00:39:51,130 --> 00:39:52,220
怎么会这么巧的呀
340
00:39:55,820 --> 00:39:57,270
刚刚好撞在我的拳头上了
341
00:39:57,580 --> 00:39:59,880
从来只有我打人 没有人敢动我的
342
00:40:00,590 --> 00:40:02,390
我穿上衣服跟你再打过...
343
00:40:06,670 --> 00:40:07,980
绑上双手让我呀？
344
00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:10,860
这次糟了...
345
00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:15,250
向上爬...
爬的高跌的伤
346
00:40:45,740 --> 00:40:50,270
人老了 气力都差了呀
真的很可怜啊
347
00:40:54,070 --> 00:40:55,870
这一下摔的我好伤呀
348
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:57,190
拿凳子呀？
349
00:40:59,740 --> 00:41:04,180
我坐 、我敲
全软了
350
00:41:11,060 --> 00:41:14,180
我的脚...
不错的腿功呀
351
00:41:15,230 --> 00:41:18,160
我劈...
学人做倒挂金钩呀
352
00:41:23,740 --> 00:41:25,160
变太监了...
353
00:41:33,110 --> 00:41:38,780
你真行，欺负我老了是吧
你也不差呀，以大欺小
354
00:41:40,070 --> 00:41:44,700
既然大家都这么厉害，不如我们做个兄弟吧
好吧 做个死党
355
00:41:45,420 --> 00:41:48,110
我们喝两杯庆祝一下
奉陪到底
356
00:41:48,650 --> 00:41:53,060
我们猜拳 罚喝酒吧
发财拳呀
357
00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:56,170
太复杂了
那你想猜什么拳呢
358
00:41:56,510 --> 00:41:57,590
猜个简单的剪刀石头呀
359
00:41:57,980 --> 00:41:59,720
什么是剪刀拳呀
就是包剪石头拳
360
00:42:00,240 --> 00:42:02,120
输了还要让人打一巴掌
好的，怕你呀
361
00:42:02,900 --> 00:42:03,220
来呀
362
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:07,910
我们一层一层的喝
363
00:42:08,660 --> 00:42:09,950
看谁先喝到最后一层
好呀
364
00:42:14,180 --> 00:42:16,700
我出石头，你出包 我输了
赏你一巴掌
365
00:42:17,350 --> 00:42:17,850
打轻一点
366
00:42:19,410 --> 00:42:20,820
先来三碗...
367
00:42:28,670 --> 00:42:30,230
过瘾...过瘾...
368
00:42:30,470 --> 00:42:31,060
可惜不够量
369
00:42:35,910 --> 00:42:36,600
剪
370
00:42:38,420 --> 00:42:40,580
我出剪，你出石头，我又输了
371
00:42:42,830 --> 00:42:44,160
死龅牙，骗酒喝...
372
00:43:07,820 --> 00:43:09,110
还是不够量...
373
00:43:11,010 --> 00:43:11,700
再来
374
00:43:18,790 --> 00:43:19,940
大家都出剪，你为什么打我？
375
00:43:20,430 --> 00:43:22,140
我的是大剪，你的是小剪
376
00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:30,220
游白云...
377
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:38,100
我们是死党，不要再打了 最多我吃亏让你喝呀
378
00:43:38,420 --> 00:43:38,830
那又不一样了
379
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:44,360
先顺一顺气吧
这还差不多 算你会做
380
00:43:52,950 --> 00:43:53,860
先放下吧
381
00:43:57,790 --> 00:43:58,340
游白云
382
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:02,190
没有了 我的酒...
我下次赔给你
383
00:44:02,660 --> 00:44:04,740
帮帮忙，先将这女孩甩了
怎么你很怕她吗？
384
00:44:05,270 --> 00:44:08,280
我见鬼就怕一会儿 见到她就是怕一辈子呀
385
00:44:10,690 --> 00:44:13,100
他说见到你害怕一辈子
是不是真的呀？
386
00:44:13,780 --> 00:44:14,870
管你什么事呀 死兔子牙
387
00:44:16,300 --> 00:44:17,470
死兔子牙你为什么这样害我
388
00:44:17,780 --> 00:44:19,060
你再跑 我就打断你的狗腿
389
00:44:23,720 --> 00:44:25,170
有没有撞爆呀？
390
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:28,410
见你怕成这样子，让我来帮帮你吧
391
00:44:33,340 --> 00:44:35,180
来...穿过来呀..穿过来呀
392
00:44:41,910 --> 00:44:43,100
你穿过了，我也穿过去.
393
00:44:53,020 --> 00:44:56,710
我帮你逃过了一劫，你也很应该...
帮你是吧？
394
00:44:58,180 --> 00:45:00,870
帮我抓妖人 邪胜正
395
00:45:01,950 --> 00:45:02,480
怪物？！
396
00:45:07,240 --> 00:45:14,190
一休哥 聊斋好黑呀
我好怕呀 出来啦
397
00:45:14,780 --> 00:45:17,590
你不要害怕，有我保护你
398
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:35,100
又喝酒呀？
399
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:38,620
酒肉穿肠过肚呀 喝少一点吧
400
00:45:39,710 --> 00:45:43,220
你乱说了，喝酒会行气活血的
401
00:45:43,540 --> 00:45:44,680
身体好啊
402
00:45:45,510 --> 00:45:47,670
你怎么这样，都不理我的
403
00:46:00,720 --> 00:46:01,270
我醉了
404
00:46:05,820 --> 00:46:06,740
起来啦
405
00:46:10,100 --> 00:46:14,510
你喝又醉 不喝又醉
你的这馊主意行不行的？
406
00:46:17,510 --> 00:46:18,810
让我清醒一下先
407
00:46:21,940 --> 00:46:23,580
我们玩游戏吧
好呀 好呀
408
00:46:24,130 --> 00:46:24,950
玩什么好呢?
409
00:46:30,900 --> 00:46:34,310
小孩充当大头鬼 我一个一个抓回去
410
00:46:37,340 --> 00:46:39,380
想到玩什么了吗？
想到了，我们玩弹弓
411
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:44,150
瞄准...发射
412
00:47:02,860 --> 00:47:03,980
夹住了一个傻瓜
413
00:47:07,930 --> 00:47:09,230
小孩子玩弄大人？
414
00:47:12,150 --> 00:47:17,620
找地方躲起来咯
过来..过来...
415
00:47:25,910 --> 00:47:26,900
怎么这么厉害呀？
416
00:47:32,380 --> 00:47:34,630
打醒你
你是最尾，我是第一
417
00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:41,040
谁打我？
418
00:47:42,540 --> 00:47:42,870
无影脚
419
00:47:53,060 --> 00:47:53,560
还抓不到你
420
00:47:58,600 --> 00:47:59,160
这么重？
421
00:48:10,500 --> 00:48:11,260
又打中这里
422
00:48:22,240 --> 00:48:25,060
急尿...
兄弟不用害怕，我来了
423
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:32,020
镇定一点 有我在...
424
00:48:39,300 --> 00:48:41,540
是我啊 住手啊
425
00:48:43,420 --> 00:48:44,770
怎么是你呀
426
00:48:47,410 --> 00:48:49,190
你喝的这么醉，乱打一通
427
00:48:51,460 --> 00:48:52,980
那个黑不溜湫的呢？
早走了啊
428
00:48:53,730 --> 00:48:54,760
叫你少喝一点的了
429
00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:56,870
我最多明天戒酒呀
430
00:49:32,230 --> 00:49:35,990
师傅
怎么空手回来呀 小孩子呢?
431
00:49:37,700 --> 00:49:41,190
今天晚上出了点意外
明天我一定努力抓几个补回来
432
00:49:43,750 --> 00:49:48,060
你也辛苦了 应该休息一下了
多谢师傅
433
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:09,380
不要乱动呀，这个叫 轰天雷
434
00:50:09,980 --> 00:50:12,260
发射出来就得粉身碎骨了
435
00:50:12,690 --> 00:50:13,760
你的老爷车，还挺多法宝的呀
436
00:50:14,230 --> 00:50:14,860
那还用说
437
00:50:15,220 --> 00:50:16,790
这个叫做“蹊巧灵珑车”
438
00:50:17,220 --> 00:50:19,720
遇到风就变风车，遇到水就变水车
439
00:50:20,100 --> 00:50:21,060
不是老爷车
440
00:50:26,340 --> 00:50:27,510
去那边买点酒先
441
00:50:33,250 --> 00:50:35,140
小姐，买什么酒呀？
442
00:50:39,510 --> 00:50:42,060
酒呀 去喝点肥仔水先
443
00:50:42,740 --> 00:50:43,520
你又说戒酒了？
444
00:50:43,740 --> 00:50:44,480
明天再开始呀
445
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:46,030
天天都说明天，那就是不用戒了
446
00:50:46,310 --> 00:50:47,340
那你又不是很蠢的呀
447
00:50:50,420 --> 00:50:51,250
玩玩他的车先
448
00:50:57,470 --> 00:50:58,430
怎么会有这样子的人？
449
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:00,090
有钱也不是这样子来浪费
450
00:51:01,580 --> 00:51:06,660
老板，你与酒有仇呀？ 没有仇
451
00:51:09,940 --> 00:51:11,420
能喝就不要浪费了
452
00:51:11,740 --> 00:51:12,580
一定要把它浪费了
453
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:13,970
那你便宜点卖给我吧
454
00:51:14,240 --> 00:51:14,860
那又不能卖的呀
455
00:51:17,700 --> 00:51:18,750
那让我闻一下，可以吧？
456
00:51:19,460 --> 00:51:20,510
闻一下，可以
457
00:51:26,930 --> 00:51:28,470
闻就可以，添就不行。
458
00:51:33,010 --> 00:51:38,350
别走呀 我捉
459
00:51:39,780 --> 00:51:40,070
别走..
460
00:51:40,660 --> 00:51:41,900
哎呀， 大家一开见水，没的喝了
461
00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:43,180
有的喝
462
00:51:43,710 --> 00:51:46,150
只要你帮我做一件事情，就任由你喝个够
463
00:51:46,940 --> 00:51:47,740
我要考虑一下先
464
00:51:49,420 --> 00:51:49,700
好的
465
00:52:04,820 --> 00:52:07,150
死兔子牙转性啦，收拾的这么干净的？
466
00:52:11,350 --> 00:52:12,380
还做好了饭给我吃呀？
467
00:52:14,300 --> 00:52:14,740
嗯..不错..
468
00:52:18,220 --> 00:52:19,060
还真好味道
469
00:52:24,460 --> 00:52:25,780
你干什么呀？
470
00:52:26,100 --> 00:52:27,780
是你呀... 人吓人会吓死人的
471
00:52:28,910 --> 00:52:30,090
真是倒楣了
472
00:52:30,790 --> 00:52:32,580
你跑哪里去了呀？担心死你了
473
00:52:33,240 --> 00:52:34,450
你倒挺关心我的呀
474
00:52:34,970 --> 00:52:37,320
我担心你发生交通意外，把我的车撞坏而已
475
00:52:37,610 --> 00:52:38,500
我没有买保险的
476
00:52:39,140 --> 00:52:40,290
肚子饭死了，先吃饭再说吧
477
00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:44,180
不错吧？
478
00:52:44,860 --> 00:52:45,720
挺合我的口味的
479
00:52:46,340 --> 00:52:48,020
你找到老婆没有？
很难找的啦
480
00:52:48,550 --> 00:52:50,900
不难，我已经帮你找到了一个了
481
00:52:51,300 --> 00:52:54,340
她孔武有力
会打老公呀？
482
00:52:54,740 --> 00:52:58,180
不是打人
是会劈柴 挑水 洗衣服，还帮你按摩
483
00:52:58,710 --> 00:53:00,710
一切都包了 连佣人都不用请了
484
00:53:01,780 --> 00:53:02,800
一年下来那不是省下很多钱？
485
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:05,220
还有呀 她的屁股很大的
486
00:53:06,380 --> 00:53:07,940
屁股大怎么好？
好生养呀
487
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:13,500
阿婆喜欢这样的
所以丑一点也没关系了呀 没所谓
488
00:53:14,300 --> 00:53:15,380
喝汤吧
谢谢
489
00:53:18,700 --> 00:53:19,620
趁热喝呀
490
00:53:20,890 --> 00:53:22,420
怎么是你呀？
我说的就是她了啊
491
00:53:23,060 --> 00:53:25,530
很正点吧 你看房间打扫的这么干净
492
00:53:25,940 --> 00:53:27,370
做的菜又符合你的胃口
493
00:53:28,110 --> 00:53:29,860
你还站着干什么呀？ 快坐呀
494
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:35,190
不是坐这边，是坐那边啊
495
00:53:45,660 --> 00:53:46,490
好痛呀
496
00:53:48,580 --> 00:53:49,390
怎么这么不小心的
497
00:53:49,740 --> 00:53:51,030
有没有摔伤了屁股呀？
498
00:53:58,230 --> 00:53:59,160
白云哥
499
00:54:01,870 --> 00:54:02,800
你还打的我不够吗？
500
00:54:04,510 --> 00:54:08,940
笑...笑...
501
00:54:11,720 --> 00:54:12,810
白云哥
502
00:54:16,870 --> 00:54:18,180
笑也笑的比别人难看
503
00:54:20,030 --> 00:54:21,780
不是呀 挺好看的呢
504
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:25,340
好看？！
她笑的就像是蛤蟆王八闭月羞花的样子
505
00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:26,170
什么？
506
00:54:28,230 --> 00:54:29,530
她左边的脸没那么好看而已
507
00:54:30,270 --> 00:54:32,820
你就站在右边看就觉得好看了呀 知道吗？
508
00:54:33,620 --> 00:54:36,030
既然你说的这么好
那我吃亏点，让给你好了
509
00:54:36,500 --> 00:54:38,520
好呀 不...
510
00:54:38,780 --> 00:54:39,950
君子不夺人所好
511
00:54:40,700 --> 00:54:43,650
本来我是美丑都是无所谓的
但是她拿刀来追斩我
512
00:54:44,060 --> 00:54:45,140
害我差点给差人抓走
513
00:54:45,780 --> 00:54:47,820
你干嘛这么生气呀 我也是为了你好的
514
00:54:48,220 --> 00:54:49,290
我不想你这样对我好呀
515
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:51,030
你这臭小子啊
怎么样？打我呀
516
00:54:51,670 --> 00:54:54,620
打就打，还有选日子呀
517
00:54:55,230 --> 00:54:55,900
不要打呀
不要拉着我呀
518
00:55:00,300 --> 00:55:01,550
你们快住手呀
519
00:55:24,950 --> 00:55:25,610
不要打了呀
520
00:55:31,260 --> 00:55:32,750
老虎不发威，你当我是病猫呀
521
00:55:36,890 --> 00:55:37,420
怕了吧
522
00:55:51,710 --> 00:55:52,290
认识的呀
523
00:56:09,810 --> 00:56:11,690
老邪，你一声不响的就走了
524
00:56:12,230 --> 00:56:13,920
害的我是鸡犬不宁啊
525
00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:18,720
你不要再玩了呀，乖乖的跟我回去
让我好好服侍你吧
526
00:56:24,290 --> 00:56:25,960
你就是让我帮你抓这个呆子呀
527
00:56:26,300 --> 00:56:28,140
不就是这个呆子咯 快点抓住他呀
528
00:56:29,060 --> 00:56:30,430
现在不是送上门了吗 你来抓呀
529
00:56:34,570 --> 00:56:36,710
哗呀，好毒呀...
530
00:56:37,250 --> 00:56:38,060
碰到一点都不行呀
531
00:56:40,900 --> 00:56:42,220
让我以毒攻毒吧
532
00:56:45,070 --> 00:56:46,430
给你一颗老泥丸享受一下
533
00:56:47,140 --> 00:56:48,650
来，张开嘴巴吧
534
00:57:00,100 --> 00:57:00,660
你怎么样了？
535
00:57:02,500 --> 00:57:03,820
不要拉着我呀
536
00:57:28,500 --> 00:57:29,820
幻光遁影术
537
00:57:55,200 --> 00:57:57,390
老邪，算你跑的快，要不然就...
538
00:57:57,860 --> 00:57:58,540
你就死定了
539
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:03,500
你就放心吧
他怎么也猜不到，我们会不离开这里
540
00:58:16,070 --> 00:58:19,030
你自找没趣，为什么像个冤鬼一样跟着我呢
541
00:58:19,510 --> 00:58:21,490
你不跟着我，就不会弄成现在这样了
542
00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:23,770
你呀 死兔牙
543
00:58:24,240 --> 00:58:25,510
要是你不带她回来，就什么事情都不会发生了
544
00:58:25,860 --> 00:58:26,500
学人家做月老牵线
545
00:58:26,840 --> 00:58:28,220
害的人家现在比钟无艳还丑了
546
00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:35,310
还不快点想办法呀
547
00:58:36,370 --> 00:58:38,620
办法不是没有，但我的心情现在不爽啊
548
00:58:46,180 --> 00:58:47,020
算是我的不对了
549
00:58:53,060 --> 00:58:55,300
你到外面逛一转，到天亮再回来
550
00:58:56,020 --> 00:58:57,380
就会有意想不到的收获了
551
00:59:00,750 --> 00:59:01,820
你还不走？
552
00:59:09,940 --> 00:59:10,470
痛呀
553
00:59:13,590 --> 00:59:16,110
迟一点医治，就剧毒攻心了
554
00:59:16,530 --> 00:59:17,900
医了都是浪费药物
555
00:59:18,390 --> 00:59:22,580
除非逼血气运行于表皮，怪病怪医
556
00:59:24,020 --> 00:59:25,420
一定要让她害怕
557
00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:30,540
李爱，我要强奸你呀
558
00:59:39,300 --> 00:59:40,000
不要这样呀
559
00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:45,030
不要跑呀
560
00:59:52,620 --> 00:59:53,220
死呀你
561
00:59:57,860 --> 00:59:59,160
爆缸了
562
01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:01,480
举头三尺有神灵呀
563
01:00:02,440 --> 01:00:04,480
神见到都是睁只眼闭只眼啦
564
01:00:12,030 --> 01:00:15,250
菩萨你原谅我呀
我这样做也是为了救人啊
565
01:00:21,530 --> 01:00:23,820
看东西啊
566
01:00:34,530 --> 01:00:35,820
这个时候晕就是时候了
567
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:39,900
让我将工具拿出来先
568
01:00:55,920 --> 01:00:56,560
前中穴
569
01:00:57,270 --> 01:00:59,800
天中穴
570
01:01:04,040 --> 01:01:04,470
一定是在后面了
571
01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:07,960
让它给跑了
572
01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:12,960
十指痛归心呀
573
01:01:22,180 --> 01:01:24,460
我扎...扎回去...
574
01:01:29,180 --> 01:01:31,460
又走了
575
01:01:33,500 --> 01:01:34,000
在哪里呢？
576
01:01:34,180 --> 01:01:35,460
跑到前面了
577
01:01:36,500 --> 01:01:38,200
怎么样也得追
578
01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:57,000
早晨，穿回衣服吧
579
01:02:57,940 --> 01:02:58,600
你把我怎么样了？
580
01:02:59,540 --> 01:03:02,140
我从头到脚，都一次搞定
581
01:03:03,410 --> 01:03:04,240
去死吧，你
582
01:03:06,790 --> 01:03:07,560
老淫棍
583
01:03:07,980 --> 01:03:09,230
我是特意这样做的？
你说什么？！
584
01:03:12,560 --> 01:03:13,390
你干出这样的事情
585
01:03:14,740 --> 01:03:18,560
你误会了，我是说特意一次搞掂你中的毒
586
01:03:26,900 --> 01:03:32,150
黄绿医生，你把我医的比以前更丑了
587
01:03:35,620 --> 01:03:38,930
这个你不要慌张，还有最后的手术没做完呢
588
01:03:47,150 --> 01:03:47,880
剥皮
589
01:03:49,380 --> 01:03:51,290
不痛的，忍一下就行了
590
01:03:52,560 --> 01:03:55,140
昨天晚上假装强奸你，就是想让你害怕
591
01:03:56,590 --> 01:03:58,160
逼那些毒运行于表皮
592
01:03:59,020 --> 01:04:03,240
再用药钗，将那些毒液吸干
这样就没事了
593
01:04:04,120 --> 01:04:05,590
为什么你不早点跟我说呢
594
01:04:05,900 --> 01:04:07,100
早说，就不灵验了
595
01:04:12,100 --> 01:04:14,440
你自己照下镜子，看看呀
596
01:04:39,300 --> 01:04:40,280
你真的是神医啊
597
01:04:40,630 --> 01:04:42,420
好开心 我好喜欢呀
598
01:04:46,530 --> 01:04:47,430
你怎么了？？
599
01:04:51,400 --> 01:04:52,840
你开心，我也很高兴
600
01:04:54,430 --> 01:04:55,740
换过一套漂亮衣服吧
601
01:05:03,420 --> 01:05:05,950
让他臭小子回来后，给他一个惊喜。
602
01:05:09,150 --> 01:05:09,750
我走了
603
01:05:11,460 --> 01:05:14,480
你走也要等游白云回来再走呀
604
01:05:15,090 --> 01:05:16,820
他那么讨厌我，我还是走算了
605
01:05:18,130 --> 01:05:19,660
他回来了
606
01:05:27,900 --> 01:05:28,460
早晨
607
01:05:33,780 --> 01:05:35,320
你...
608
01:05:35,550 --> 01:05:36,570
你爱的人不就是她咯
609
01:05:37,410 --> 01:05:38,020
好正点呀
610
01:05:42,550 --> 01:05:44,280
好狗不挡道，请让开一点
611
01:05:44,900 --> 01:05:45,710
你要去哪里呀？
612
01:05:48,750 --> 01:05:50,380
玩完了...
613
01:05:50,640 --> 01:05:51,960
谁玩完了呀
她说要走了呀
614
01:05:54,920 --> 01:05:56,350
摔死我了呀，心口好疼
615
01:06:00,710 --> 01:06:02,650
等等我呀，我还要带你回去见我的婆婆呢
616
01:06:03,560 --> 01:06:06,910
我像个癞蛤蟆那样闭月羞花，怎么配的上你呢
617
01:06:10,020 --> 01:06:11,950
你听我说呀，你听错了
618
01:06:12,580 --> 01:06:15,660
我是说沉鱼落雁、闭月羞花那样漂亮
619
01:06:16,260 --> 01:06:17,340
我笑的很难看的呀
620
01:06:19,310 --> 01:06:22,980
这是我以前的错觉，其实你笑的很甜美
621
01:06:26,590 --> 01:06:29,060
你不给我面子，也要给兔牙面子啊
622
01:06:30,260 --> 01:06:32,420
我面皮这么厚，不用别人给面子了
623
01:06:33,180 --> 01:06:35,460
死老鬼呀，以后我一定整一整你
624
01:06:36,650 --> 01:06:38,540
不过我也想多一个人，陪我一起喝酒呀
625
01:06:40,080 --> 01:06:41,040
那你就留下来啊
626
01:06:42,960 --> 01:06:48,520
师弟，你的女儿也算胆大了
居然帮着外人来对付我
627
01:06:49,510 --> 01:06:56,580
我限你今晚搞定那小子
要不然，我让你们父女从人间消失
628
01:07:02,020 --> 01:07:04,630
这样子洗衣服，双手很容易变粗的
629
01:07:05,070 --> 01:07:07,020
让我来帮你洗吧
不要碍手碍脚了
630
01:07:08,420 --> 01:07:10,320
你这么喜欢洗，就洗兔牙的衣服吧
631
01:07:15,020 --> 01:07:17,990
以前洗衣服用石头磨，我洗衣服就用石头拍
632
01:07:18,430 --> 01:07:20,460
拍...拍的失魂又落魄
633
01:07:21,060 --> 01:07:22,870
拍死人呀，拍...
634
01:07:27,580 --> 01:07:29,340
哎呀，我的喝喜酒的衣服没了
635
01:07:30,130 --> 01:07:32,260
都是你这人的错，要不怎么会这么麻烦
636
01:07:32,900 --> 01:07:34,160
对老人家不要这样没礼貌
637
01:07:35,390 --> 01:07:36,460
你这样子帮他，是不是喜欢他呀？
638
01:07:36,830 --> 01:07:37,740
是不是，都不关你的事
639
01:07:39,300 --> 01:07:42,400
你不要以为你自己真的很漂亮呀
不知多少女孩送上我，我都不在乎
640
01:07:43,100 --> 01:07:45,530
不要难为自己了
我马上去找一个让你看
641
01:07:47,530 --> 01:07:49,520
别听他乱讲，他一定会回来的
642
01:08:04,450 --> 01:08:05,800
小姐，你真漂亮呀
643
01:08:09,500 --> 01:08:10,510
哎呀，不要这样子呀
644
01:08:15,800 --> 01:08:18,280
快住手了，不要这样多手
再这样，我就不理你了
645
01:08:19,140 --> 01:08:20,380
好的，那我就斯文一点
646
01:08:20,920 --> 01:08:21,820
HI 兔子牙
647
01:08:27,850 --> 01:08:29,220
我看是哪个女的这么嚣张
648
01:08:31,180 --> 01:08:31,680
看不见
649
01:08:34,310 --> 01:08:35,290
好臭，好臭
650
01:08:38,100 --> 01:08:39,420
好难看呀，坏蛋
651
01:08:59,260 --> 01:09:00,590
我们真的是很般配呀
652
01:09:01,470 --> 01:09:02,450
不要乱摸呀
653
01:09:03,640 --> 01:09:05,130
游白云，你当我是透明的吗？
654
01:09:05,340 --> 01:09:06,270
有人好生气呀
655
01:09:06,710 --> 01:09:07,350
我打死你这个狐狸精
656
01:09:16,860 --> 01:09:18,100
是假的呀
657
01:09:21,450 --> 01:09:22,960
就是一只啄木鸟呀
658
01:09:23,960 --> 01:09:25,110
什么意思呀？
659
01:09:25,890 --> 01:09:27,350
做大，兼且抓虫啊
660
01:09:30,180 --> 01:09:32,950
其实呢，你是半斤，她也有八两
661
01:09:33,550 --> 01:09:36,650
早点拉上天窗就好了，还斗什么气呀
662
01:09:43,300 --> 01:09:43,850
爹
663
01:09:47,120 --> 01:09:48,250
拜见岳父...
664
01:09:53,290 --> 01:09:56,950
好女婿，岳父今晚来超度你了
665
01:09:58,180 --> 01:10:00,620
爹呀
不要挡着我
666
01:10:01,550 --> 01:10:06,410
李教主，你还是积点阴德，成全他们两个好点
667
01:10:07,690 --> 01:10:10,220
醉道人，不关你的事情，你最好不要理会
668
01:10:14,300 --> 01:10:14,890
你如果多管闲事，我连你也一起超度了
669
01:10:16,160 --> 01:10:19,280
游白云，你打头，我在后面帮你。
670
01:10:26,870 --> 01:10:27,960
老头，小心引火自焚呀
671
01:10:46,770 --> 01:10:47,600
水...水呀
672
01:11:27,780 --> 01:11:28,360
什么家伙？
673
01:11:32,610 --> 01:11:33,260
会喷火呀
674
01:11:34,000 --> 01:11:35,790
悬丝火傀儡
算你识货
675
01:11:42,700 --> 01:11:43,530
你攻前面，我打后面
676
01:11:49,900 --> 01:11:51,260
早知我攻前面，你打后面呀，压死我了
677
01:12:29,890 --> 01:12:32,420
爹 你停手吧
再怎么说他也是你半个儿子
678
01:12:33,020 --> 01:12:34,810
臭丫头，帮外人不帮我
679
01:12:35,250 --> 01:12:36,940
你以为是过家家吗
你这样做是不对的
680
01:12:37,470 --> 01:12:39,010
好样的，我老婆说的对呀
681
01:13:09,300 --> 01:13:10,060
舞水龙呀...
682
01:13:51,350 --> 01:13:51,770
射死你
683
01:13:54,060 --> 01:13:54,580
看你死不死...
684
01:13:55,060 --> 01:14:00,080
有了水龙，我们来个群龙乱舞
685
01:14:26,460 --> 01:14:28,020
哎呀 没有东西射了
686
01:14:30,460 --> 01:14:33,020
怎么这么快没水了？
你以为这个是水塘嘛
687
01:14:36,460 --> 01:14:38,020
你们没有水了
那么就准备好变烧猪吧
688
01:14:44,460 --> 01:14:46,020
现在真的是舞乱龙呀
689
01:14:47,670 --> 01:14:48,660
你们等着，我去搬水
690
01:14:51,850 --> 01:14:52,780
爹，你不要这样呀
691
01:14:53,630 --> 01:14:54,060
水来了
692
01:14:57,170 --> 01:14:57,540
快点过来呀
来了...来了
693
01:15:17,190 --> 01:15:18,310
引火自焚了吧
694
01:15:31,780 --> 01:15:32,740
爹，你没事吧？
695
01:15:33,960 --> 01:15:34,840
你的脸？
696
01:15:35,450 --> 01:15:36,660
是兔子牙帮我治好的
697
01:15:39,370 --> 01:15:40,910
是邪胜正要杀你们
698
01:15:41,180 --> 01:15:41,500
他在哪里？
699
01:15:41,780 --> 01:15:43,050
他躲在东面五里的白骨洞里
700
01:15:43,620 --> 01:15:44,830
我们快点去找他出来
701
01:15:45,320 --> 01:15:50,520
慢着，他利用魔音箫声，
控制血蟾，奇毒无比，你们要小心点
702
01:15:53,110 --> 01:15:53,830
魔音箫？
703
01:16:40,090 --> 01:16:44,050
老邪，你害的你爸爸好惨呀
我今天一定要抓你回去了
704
01:16:44,700 --> 01:16:46,540
你进来了，就不会有命再出去了
705
01:16:47,550 --> 01:16:52,330
上次让你吹箫，吹的我们鸡毛鸭血
这次我让你吹的BIBI声
706
01:16:53,680 --> 01:16:55,090
看你怎么挡我的毒音魔箫！
707
01:17:02,940 --> 01:17:03,790
对我没有用
708
01:17:12,220 --> 01:17:13,030
你再继续吹呀
709
01:17:20,170 --> 01:17:21,050
你的翅膀断了
710
01:18:13,820 --> 01:18:14,380
一人乐队
711
01:18:24,710 --> 01:18:25,220
指挥
712
01:18:27,260 --> 01:18:27,530
开始
713
01:19:20,810 --> 01:19:23,500
我八音破你的魔音，看你怎么办？
714
01:19:47,370 --> 01:19:48,390
吹的我没气了
715
01:19:57,910 --> 01:19:58,980
快点走呀，不然就一块死了
716
01:20:15,640 --> 01:20:16,870
快点进去看看
717
01:20:17,530 --> 01:20:22,700
老邪...你不要死呀
718
01:20:23,150 --> 01:20:25,200
你死了，你就难办了呀
719
01:20:25,850 --> 01:20:29,530
老邪...爆到尸骨全无了
720
01:20:30,390 --> 01:20:32,920
叫我怎么回去交差呢 死定了
721
01:20:36,310 --> 01:20:43,490
你不能回去交差，我也很难过
不过我要回去向我婆婆交差了
722
01:20:45,280 --> 01:20:46,870
想沾喜庆，就一起来呀
723
01:20:48,030 --> 01:20:49,460
有人欢喜，有人忧
724
01:20:52,750 --> 01:20:53,700
一拜天地
725
01:20:56,480 --> 01:20:57,490
二拜高堂
726
01:21:02,980 --> 01:21:04,860
今天我很开心呀
727
01:21:07,490 --> 01:21:08,750
我就担心了
728
01:21:09,250 --> 01:21:10,250
夫妻交拜
729
01:21:11,250 --> 01:21:11,850
夫妻...对拜
730
01:21:13,400 --> 01:21:16,720
你走开呀，你...
阻住人家
731
01:21:19,330 --> 01:21:20,600
送入洞房
732
01:21:23,850 --> 01:21:27,740
等一等，新娘要先过我们游家的子孙棒
733
01:21:35,650 --> 01:21:37,540
亲家，没有这种规矩的呀
734
01:21:38,060 --> 01:21:41,670
怎么没有？你招女婿是要走钉盖、火桩
735
01:21:42,270 --> 01:21:45,320
我娶孙媳妇，就要棒打新娘
736
01:21:49,670 --> 01:21:51,010
怕就两人一起，不要担心
737
01:22:39,090 --> 01:22:41,070
我们可以行房了
不...是洞房
738
01:22:42,930 --> 01:22:45,560
百子千孙，马上洞房
739
01:22:55,020 --> 01:22:59,940
快点上龙床，夫妻游龙戏凤，生下几个龙仔
740
01:23:00,970 --> 01:23:01,710
多谢..
741
01:23:02,140 --> 01:23:04,730
今天努力一点，不要让阿婆失望啊
742
01:23:05,510 --> 01:23:07,360
我会打破传统，生个双胞胎的了
743
01:23:07,740 --> 01:23:08,380
好啊...
744
01:23:09,170 --> 01:23:11,780
大家出去了，不要阻碍他们了
745
01:23:20,490 --> 01:23:20,970
先亲一口...
746
01:23:26,950 --> 01:23:27,780
我也是猴急了点
747
01:23:29,870 --> 01:23:31,250
老婆...
748
01:23:34,550 --> 01:23:36,100
怎么这么多洞，有没有搞错？
749
01:23:42,010 --> 01:23:44,570
你们也是过来人的了，有什么好看的呢
750
01:23:45,940 --> 01:23:47,360
不要阻碍我抱曾孙子呀
751
01:23:47,910 --> 01:23:49,700
亲家，我也要回去休息了
752
01:23:50,600 --> 01:23:52,060
我没有打算留你住下
753
01:23:56,600 --> 01:23:58,560
先喝一杯合欢酒 老婆大人
754
01:24:02,180 --> 01:24:03,410
为什么我老婆变成你这样？
755
01:24:25,940 --> 01:24:28,820
搞到上枱，我还没试过这个招数
756
01:24:33,330 --> 01:24:34,910
乖孙子真的拼命
757
01:24:40,330 --> 01:24:41,610
怎么玩到地上了?
758
01:24:49,130 --> 01:24:50,740
出来干什么，继续洞房
759
01:24:59,240 --> 01:25:01,770
这样拼命，今年抱定曾孙子了
760
01:25:04,390 --> 01:25:07,780
邪胜正，如让我见到你，我就开心了
761
01:25:20,650 --> 01:25:22,310
洞房就洞房，怎么这么吵？
762
01:25:25,370 --> 01:25:27,300
是你
763
01:25:28,370 --> 01:25:29,300
我一定要抓到你
764
01:25:32,100 --> 01:25:33,020
试试我的胡椒粉
765
01:25:45,620 --> 01:25:47,200
追杀...
766
01:25:48,020 --> 01:25:48,480
让我来
767
01:25:51,680 --> 01:25:52,360
非礼呀
768
01:25:57,310 --> 01:25:58,360
哎呀，打错人了
769
01:26:09,170 --> 01:26:10,930
现在你有翼也飞不出去了
770
01:26:12,060 --> 01:26:13,880
聪明的话，就改邪归正跟我回去
771
01:26:15,430 --> 01:26:18,640
我统领邪魔，杀掉你们正义之士
772
01:26:22,210 --> 01:26:22,850
匕剑
773
01:26:58,010 --> 01:27:02,010
花环套月，环环相扣，暗藏杀机
774
01:27:10,820 --> 01:27:11,220
进来了
775
01:27:19,100 --> 01:27:19,860
以环破环
776
01:27:31,970 --> 01:27:33,770
右环旋转三环开
777
01:27:52,520 --> 01:27:53,360
五星连珠
778
01:28:00,390 --> 01:28:02,690
眼界太差打不中
779
01:28:15,390 --> 01:28:16,690
我要吸光你的血
780
01:28:23,090 --> 01:28:23,740
帮帮忙呀
781
01:28:24,180 --> 01:28:24,820
还没有解开呀
782
01:28:26,760 --> 01:28:28,950
你的手废了吗
783
01:28:41,030 --> 01:28:44,580
中环旋转 五星移位
784
01:28:57,030 --> 01:28:59,580
糟糕了 九子连环
我之前没有试过呀
785
01:29:12,780 --> 01:29:13,720
借你的裤头带用一下
786
01:29:16,140 --> 01:29:17,190
碰到鼻子了
787
01:29:26,140 --> 01:29:29,190
接住
绑住他
788
01:29:41,100 --> 01:29:43,100
糟糕，绑住了手
脚也绑住了
789
01:29:43,990 --> 01:29:48,970
不要摇呀 不要摇
790
01:29:58,820 --> 01:29:59,980
绑死了，解不开呢
791
01:30:11,780 --> 01:30:12,420
怎么办...
792
01:30:13,200 --> 01:30:13,540
撞他
793
01:30:17,510 --> 01:30:18,350
撞到自己了
794
01:30:37,010 --> 01:30:37,980
一解破千关
795
01:30:41,010 --> 01:30:42,380
这么重呀
796
01:30:44,010 --> 01:30:47,380
全在我这，来拿呀
797
01:30:58,690 --> 01:31:00,460
不要杀他啊
他死了我怎么交差呀
798
01:31:02,340 --> 01:31:04,140
不要，放我出来呀
799
01:31:05,690 --> 01:31:08,460
缩回去
快带走这个怪物，不要弄脏我的地方
800
01:31:13,570 --> 01:31:14,480
还想走？！
56331
