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1
00:00:01,691 --> 00:00:08,974
♪♪
2
00:00:08,974 --> 00:00:16,292
♪♪
3
00:00:16,292 --> 00:00:18,880
-Aah, aah!
-[ Screeches ]
4
00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:24,817
♪♪
5
00:00:24,817 --> 00:00:26,060
Oh, my God.
6
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:27,337
Holy shit.
Oh.
7
00:00:27,337 --> 00:00:28,545
What are --
What are these things?!
8
00:00:28,545 --> 00:00:29,926
Do I look like I know?
9
00:00:29,926 --> 00:00:31,928
Last thing I remember, I was,
ugh, in a cave
10
00:00:31,928 --> 00:00:34,310
looking at some wet egg and --
Oh, that probably did it.
11
00:00:34,310 --> 00:00:35,552
I told you not to look
at that egg!
12
00:00:35,552 --> 00:00:36,864
I-It was too wet.
13
00:00:36,864 --> 00:00:38,314
You don't get to tell me
what to look at.
14
00:00:38,314 --> 00:00:39,556
I've seen
your Pornhub account.
15
00:00:39,556 --> 00:00:41,075
Also, who makes
a Pornhub account?
16
00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:43,250
The algorithm learns your
preferences better that way.
17
00:00:43,250 --> 00:00:45,355
Plus if you get in kind
of a cool enough relationship,
18
00:00:45,355 --> 00:00:46,874
you can sort
of follow each other
19
00:00:46,874 --> 00:00:48,393
and check out
each other's kinks, you know?
20
00:00:48,393 --> 00:00:49,911
Alright, God damn, sold.
21
00:00:49,911 --> 00:00:51,430
How do we get out of here?Morty, relax.
22
00:00:51,430 --> 00:00:53,191
They're face-hugging
parasites.
23
00:00:53,191 --> 00:00:55,641
I don't think their society's
gonna be that hard to navigate.
24
00:00:57,264 --> 00:01:00,543
Okay, yeah, this might be
a little harder than I thought.
25
00:01:00,543 --> 00:01:03,339
Holy shit.
They've got an M&M's store.
26
00:01:03,339 --> 00:01:10,277
♪♪
27
00:01:10,277 --> 00:01:17,111
♪♪
28
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:24,049
♪♪
29
00:01:24,049 --> 00:01:29,123
♪♪
30
00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:34,508
♪♪
31
00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:37,097
♪♪
32
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,616
This is bad, Rick.
Th-Th-Th-Th-This is really bad.
33
00:01:39,616 --> 00:01:40,997
Just be cool, Morty.
34
00:01:40,997 --> 00:01:42,412
All we gotta do is blend in,
find our ship,
35
00:01:42,412 --> 00:01:44,173
and get
the fuck outta here.
36
00:01:44,173 --> 00:01:46,175
Alright, Morty, here's the plan,
put this back on your face.
37
00:01:46,175 --> 00:01:48,901
I-I'm not putting that back
on my face!
Relax. It's dead.
38
00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:51,041
[ Screeches ]
39
00:01:51,041 --> 00:01:52,457
Okay, now it's dead.
40
00:01:52,457 --> 00:01:55,322
Come on, hurry up.
41
00:01:55,322 --> 00:01:56,323
Rick, i-it's bleeding.
42
00:01:56,323 --> 00:01:57,738
I-It's bleeding acid.
43
00:01:57,738 --> 00:01:59,119
Alright, well, that should
be the last of it.
44
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,811
If not, then just gimme
two tugs on the arm.
45
00:02:01,811 --> 00:02:05,125
[ Screams ]
46
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,161
Seems like a self-destructive
life cycle.
47
00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:08,507
Is that gonna
happen to us?
48
00:02:08,507 --> 00:02:09,819
You feel an egg
in your stomach?
49
00:02:09,819 --> 00:02:12,822
-No.
-Well, glass half full.
50
00:02:12,822 --> 00:02:14,134
How's it going?
'Sup.
51
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,445
-Glory to Glorzo.
-Totally.
52
00:02:15,445 --> 00:02:16,619
Love Glorzo.
53
00:02:16,619 --> 00:02:18,345
Glorzo is peace.
54
00:02:18,345 --> 00:02:19,829
Peace is Glorzo.
55
00:02:19,829 --> 00:02:22,176
Wow, just cogs in the machine,
y'know?
56
00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:24,005
Ma-Makes you think --Yeah, I'm sure you'll make this
57
00:02:24,005 --> 00:02:25,973
into a beautiful short film
that your parents'll pay for,
58
00:02:25,973 --> 00:02:28,009
Morty, but right now, we really
just need to find my ship.
59
00:02:28,009 --> 00:02:29,701
You sure you're not
just jealous?
60
00:02:29,701 --> 00:02:31,875
Looks like I'm kind of
a celebrity around here.
61
00:02:31,875 --> 00:02:33,705
Glorzo Morty:
The future is Glorzo!
62
00:02:33,705 --> 00:02:36,639
Oh, my God.
I was just reading you.
63
00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:39,193
Congratulations on making it
into print media.
64
00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:40,712
Real bright future there.
65
00:02:40,712 --> 00:02:42,645
Honestly, it's shocking to see
the two of you together.
66
00:02:42,645 --> 00:02:44,647
Because we're both
geniuses?
67
00:02:44,647 --> 00:02:46,442
No, because I've seen
your videos,
68
00:02:46,442 --> 00:02:48,202
and you make me
fucking sick.
69
00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:49,928
Fix him.
70
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,449
Glory to Glorzo.
71
00:02:53,449 --> 00:02:54,726
Sir, you shouldn't
wander off like that.
72
00:02:54,726 --> 00:02:56,037
We've been looking
all over for you.
73
00:02:56,037 --> 00:02:57,694
The project is ready
for your approval.
74
00:02:57,694 --> 00:02:59,455
Sir, is this man
bothering you?
75
00:02:59,455 --> 00:03:00,835
Um, no, h-he's fine.
76
00:03:00,835 --> 00:03:02,699
Uh, what -- what project?
77
00:03:02,699 --> 00:03:05,081
Jesus Christ,
who the fuck was I?
78
00:03:05,081 --> 00:03:08,533
Here's a scientific fact
I'm not allowed to say --
79
00:03:08,533 --> 00:03:12,916
Our hosts are biologically
designed to incubate our eggs.
80
00:03:12,916 --> 00:03:15,125
If that "triggers" you,
fuck off.
81
00:03:15,125 --> 00:03:16,748
If it doesn't,
please like and subscribe.
82
00:03:16,748 --> 00:03:18,853
New videos every Glorzday.
83
00:03:18,853 --> 00:03:20,200
God,
was I at least rich?
84
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,925
I mean, d-d-did
I at least sell out
85
00:03:21,925 --> 00:03:23,341
and sell vitamins
or something?
86
00:03:23,341 --> 00:03:24,928
Rick, I've watched enough
Pornhub to know
87
00:03:24,928 --> 00:03:26,516
what a studio apartment
looks like.
88
00:03:26,516 --> 00:03:27,966
God damn.
89
00:03:27,966 --> 00:03:30,555
Jesus, your Glorzo got
shit done.
90
00:03:30,555 --> 00:03:33,351
My lord,
we await your command.
91
00:03:33,351 --> 00:03:34,421
Oh, to...
92
00:03:34,421 --> 00:03:36,181
shoot it?
A-At people?
93
00:03:36,181 --> 00:03:37,562
Glorzo is peace.
94
00:03:37,562 --> 00:03:39,253
All shall be made Glorzo.
95
00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:41,255
Soldiers: Glory to Glorzo.
96
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:42,774
I...did this?
97
00:03:42,774 --> 00:03:46,364
You and the amazing technology
you both brought us.
98
00:03:46,364 --> 00:03:47,675
Yeah, makes sense.
99
00:03:47,675 --> 00:03:48,814
A-And where
was this heading?
100
00:03:48,814 --> 00:03:49,919
Earth?
Probably Earth?
101
00:03:49,919 --> 00:03:51,679
The humans
call it "Earth."
102
00:03:51,679 --> 00:03:53,888
Yeah, well, okay,
first of all, great work.
103
00:03:53,888 --> 00:03:55,787
You guys obviously put a lot
of work into this.
104
00:03:55,787 --> 00:03:57,444
Okay.And y'know, it shows.
105
00:03:57,444 --> 00:03:59,515
I-It really shows.
But um...
106
00:03:59,515 --> 00:04:00,861
I-I've been thinking,
and, you know,
107
00:04:00,861 --> 00:04:02,932
maybe we should
just call this off.
108
00:04:02,932 --> 00:04:04,692
Sorry,
is -- is there more?
109
00:04:04,692 --> 00:04:05,935
Nope, nope.
110
00:04:05,935 --> 00:04:07,833
I-I guess, uh, that --
that's it.
111
00:04:07,833 --> 00:04:10,802
Just don't Glorzo Earth.
112
00:04:10,802 --> 00:04:13,598
Just would've been nice
to have heard this sooner
113
00:04:13,598 --> 00:04:15,151
before we spent
all day on it.
114
00:04:15,151 --> 00:04:17,395
Yeah, well, I-I'm just hearing
about it, too.
115
00:04:17,395 --> 00:04:18,775
You ordered it.
Right.
116
00:04:18,775 --> 00:04:20,294
I-I did, and, um...
117
00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:22,054
I'm just saying for next time,
maybe put more thought
118
00:04:22,054 --> 00:04:23,918
into it
before a whole day of --
119
00:04:23,918 --> 00:04:25,920
Okay, well, I'm sorry I made you
do your job for a fucking day!
120
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,128
You look like you were
all really busy
121
00:04:27,128 --> 00:04:28,820
before I came
and fucked it all up.
122
00:04:28,820 --> 00:04:29,959
Boy, oh boy, huh?
This guy's a genius, but at --
123
00:04:29,959 --> 00:04:31,374
but at what price,
you know?
124
00:04:31,374 --> 00:04:32,548
Y'know, fuck you,
Rick!
125
00:04:32,548 --> 00:04:34,826
Who's...Rick?
126
00:04:34,826 --> 00:04:36,310
Yeah, well, if we're free
to ask questions,
127
00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:39,140
why haven't you blinked,
uh, for 20 minutes,
128
00:04:39,140 --> 00:04:42,903
and why, uh, doesn't
your mouth move when you talk?
129
00:04:44,939 --> 00:04:46,838
Ah, geez, look at me.
130
00:04:46,838 --> 00:04:48,495
I-I feel down on --
on -- on the floor.
131
00:04:48,495 --> 00:04:51,118
Oh, let -- let me, uh, help --
help you out here, buddy.
132
00:04:51,118 --> 00:04:53,362
Ah, thanks, man.
Thanks, pal. That's right.
133
00:04:53,362 --> 00:04:56,951
I'm right back where -- where --
right back in the saddle here.
134
00:04:59,678 --> 00:05:01,749
Alright,
fuck it, run.
135
00:05:01,749 --> 00:05:03,475
[ Glorzos screeching ]
136
00:05:03,475 --> 00:05:11,656
♪♪
137
00:05:11,656 --> 00:05:19,905
♪♪
138
00:05:19,905 --> 00:05:23,875
[ Glorzos screeching ]
139
00:05:23,875 --> 00:05:25,842
I-I hate this!
I hate all of this!
140
00:05:25,842 --> 00:05:27,361
Yeah, yeah, keep that feedback
coming, Morty.
141
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:29,190
It can only help.
142
00:05:29,190 --> 00:05:33,540
♪♪
143
00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:35,921
Oh, shit.
Aw, man!
144
00:05:35,921 --> 00:05:37,647
How big is this city?!
145
00:05:37,647 --> 00:05:38,959
I know,
it's like pick a lane.
146
00:05:38,959 --> 00:05:41,099
Are you face huggers
or industrialists?
147
00:05:43,860 --> 00:05:46,035
Damn, feels kinda good
when there's no guilt, huh?
148
00:05:46,035 --> 00:05:47,554
Yeah, it's --
it's like in "Star Wars."
149
00:05:47,554 --> 00:05:48,762
Yeah, just like
in "Star Wars."
150
00:05:48,762 --> 00:05:50,695
Go nuts!
151
00:05:50,695 --> 00:05:54,250
♪♪
152
00:05:54,250 --> 00:05:56,252
Nice, Morty! Give a little
"yee-haw" if you want.
153
00:05:56,252 --> 00:05:58,358
They -- They always do a little
"yee-haw" like a cowboy.
154
00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,531
Yee-- Yee-ha-- Yee-haw.
155
00:05:59,531 --> 00:06:01,188
Good enough.
156
00:06:01,188 --> 00:06:10,680
♪♪
157
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,233
God, I needed this.
158
00:06:12,233 --> 00:06:13,890
Honestly, it's been a while
since I've been able
159
00:06:13,890 --> 00:06:15,064
to just let loose,
you know?
160
00:06:15,064 --> 00:06:16,514
Just have fun.
I'm -- I'm --
161
00:06:16,514 --> 00:06:18,239
I'm sorry if I've been
taking it out on you.
162
00:06:18,239 --> 00:06:20,587
No, I get it. You got a lot
on your plate, amigo.
163
00:06:20,587 --> 00:06:21,933
I-I just wish
you'd open up
164
00:06:21,933 --> 00:06:23,210
to me more about it
sometimes, you know?
165
00:06:23,210 --> 00:06:24,832
I-I-I'm your partner.Thanks, Morty.
166
00:06:24,832 --> 00:06:26,247
I mean that.
Thank you.
167
00:06:26,247 --> 00:06:27,766
Sometimes, I get a little
in my head, you know?
168
00:06:27,766 --> 00:06:29,285
Hey, man, that head's
a good place to be.
169
00:06:29,285 --> 00:06:31,598
Just remember to let me
in sometimes, you know?
170
00:06:31,598 --> 00:06:33,807
Will do, buddy.
Motherfucker.
171
00:06:33,807 --> 00:06:37,776
♪♪
172
00:06:37,776 --> 00:06:39,502
Oh, my God,
this is so much fun!
173
00:06:39,502 --> 00:06:40,745
I don't want to stop!
174
00:06:40,745 --> 00:06:42,229
Yeah, it's like
popping bubble wrap.
175
00:06:51,963 --> 00:06:53,792
Honestly,
I'm proud of us for not.
176
00:06:53,792 --> 00:06:55,484
Totally.
It would've been cheap.
177
00:06:55,484 --> 00:06:58,279
Yeah, real low-hanging fruit,
and we're batter than that.
178
00:07:00,281 --> 00:07:02,042
Pearl Harbor,
on the other hand...
179
00:07:02,042 --> 00:07:04,285
Yeah, I think
that's in-bounds.
180
00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:09,808
I am the god of death!
181
00:07:09,808 --> 00:07:12,190
Should've been
a better species!
182
00:07:16,919 --> 00:07:18,714
[ Both laugh ]
183
00:07:18,714 --> 00:07:20,819
So, you did a 9/11?
184
00:07:20,819 --> 00:07:22,165
Almost did a 9/11.
185
00:07:22,165 --> 00:07:23,788
We -- We went with
a Pearl Harbor.
186
00:07:23,788 --> 00:07:24,996
We're pretty classy.
187
00:07:24,996 --> 00:07:27,308
Why were either of those
an option?
188
00:07:27,308 --> 00:07:28,482
Ask the Saudis.
189
00:07:28,482 --> 00:07:29,587
Wow. Damn.
190
00:07:29,587 --> 00:07:30,933
Yeah,
getting political.
191
00:07:30,933 --> 00:07:32,417
I'm political now.
How 'bout you, Jerry?
192
00:07:32,417 --> 00:07:34,971
You got anything to add
to the family dynamic?
193
00:07:34,971 --> 00:07:37,422
I've been getting into
beekeeping lately.
194
00:07:40,805 --> 00:07:42,323
Is something wrong
with that?
195
00:07:42,323 --> 00:07:43,428
What's wrong with that?
196
00:07:43,428 --> 00:07:45,741
Don't I have the right
to be happy? To exist?
197
00:07:45,741 --> 00:07:47,328
I'm sorry I didn't 9/11
198
00:07:47,328 --> 00:07:49,676
Pearl Harbor before breakfast,
but I have a life, too!
199
00:07:49,676 --> 00:07:51,401
I have dreams!And how's Summer?
200
00:07:51,401 --> 00:07:54,335
Did she have fun, too?
201
00:07:54,335 --> 00:07:56,061
Oh.
Uh-um.
202
00:07:56,061 --> 00:07:57,822
Summer...
was...
203
00:07:57,822 --> 00:07:59,271
With us.
204
00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:00,410
There.
205
00:08:00,410 --> 00:08:02,827
You saw us take her
in the car with us.
206
00:08:02,827 --> 00:08:05,070
Mm, yes.Yes, yes, of course.
207
00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:06,278
Th-That's what happened.
208
00:08:06,278 --> 00:08:08,488
And now she's...Sleepy.
209
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,351
Um, she's -- she's sleepy.
210
00:08:10,351 --> 00:08:11,905
Really sleepy.
That's why she's not here.
211
00:08:11,905 --> 00:08:13,251
So sleepy.
212
00:08:13,251 --> 00:08:14,666
She's sleepy?!
213
00:08:14,666 --> 00:08:15,840
What the hell was that?!
214
00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:17,462
I didn't see you trying
anything!
215
00:08:17,462 --> 00:08:19,015
Shitting the bed isn't better
than not shitting the bed!
216
00:08:19,015 --> 00:08:20,948
Where's Summer?!
217
00:08:23,710 --> 00:08:25,505
Geez.
Oh, man.
218
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,299
You know, maybe we went
too hardcore on these guys.
219
00:08:27,299 --> 00:08:28,680
Yeah, why do you think
we never go back
220
00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:30,164
to a place
we've already been?
221
00:08:30,164 --> 00:08:31,476
Do you know how many adventures
we could get out
222
00:08:31,476 --> 00:08:32,995
of Purge Planet, Morty?
Gear World?
223
00:08:32,995 --> 00:08:34,721
I don't sequel.
It's called integrity.
224
00:08:34,721 --> 00:08:36,067
Here, put this back
on your face.
225
00:08:36,067 --> 00:08:38,518
You kept it?Oh, did you want a new one?
226
00:08:40,796 --> 00:08:41,900
-'Sup?
-Yo.
227
00:08:41,900 --> 00:08:43,488
Oh, shit.
It's them!
228
00:08:43,488 --> 00:08:45,801
The worst thing
to ever happen to us!
229
00:08:45,801 --> 00:08:47,147
Yeah, that makes sense.
230
00:08:47,147 --> 00:08:48,493
Sorry, Morty,
we tried pussin' it.
231
00:08:48,493 --> 00:08:49,805
Time to go in hot.
232
00:08:49,805 --> 00:08:52,324
Rickputer, initiate
unnecessarily badass suit-up.
233
00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:57,847
♪♪
234
00:08:57,847 --> 00:09:03,577
♪♪
235
00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:05,199
Let's lick tits.
236
00:09:05,199 --> 00:09:12,344
♪♪
237
00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:13,932
Shouldn't we be
finding Summer?
238
00:09:13,932 --> 00:09:16,176
Oh, right, gee, sorry.
I got caught up again.
239
00:09:16,176 --> 00:09:18,040
God, d-do I need
to take more Adderall,
240
00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:20,249
or am I taking
too much Adderall?
241
00:09:20,249 --> 00:09:27,567
♪♪
242
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,052
Man, really shouldn't have gone
with swords.
243
00:09:30,052 --> 00:09:31,881
I know.
My wrists are killing me.
244
00:09:31,881 --> 00:09:34,194
Flame-throwers next time,
for sure.
245
00:09:34,194 --> 00:09:35,713
Can I get a laser whip?
246
00:09:35,713 --> 00:09:40,062
Okay, but there's no way
you don't chop your dick off.
247
00:09:40,062 --> 00:09:42,409
Sum Sum, come with us
if you want to live...
248
00:09:42,409 --> 00:09:44,791
at a lower standard than this,
I guess.
249
00:09:44,791 --> 00:09:46,137
God damn.
250
00:09:46,137 --> 00:09:48,795
Empress, is everything alright?Ummm...
251
00:09:48,795 --> 00:09:50,072
seize them!
252
00:09:50,072 --> 00:09:51,383
Seize them?!
What?!
253
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,420
Summer, you bitch!You gotta be kidding me!
254
00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:57,251
♪ Nobody knows the trouble
I've seen ♪
255
00:09:57,251 --> 00:09:58,598
You know that song,
Rick?
256
00:09:58,598 --> 00:09:59,806
From the --
When the prisoners sing it?
257
00:09:59,806 --> 00:10:01,255
Come on, Morty,
for fuck's sake.
258
00:10:01,255 --> 00:10:04,120
It's my jail time.
I-I can spend it however I want.
259
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,984
[ Harmonica playing ]
260
00:10:05,984 --> 00:10:07,537
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy!
Hey, hey, hey!
261
00:10:07,537 --> 00:10:08,815
Not in here!
Not in here!
262
00:10:08,815 --> 00:10:11,024
Aw...
Gimme that.
263
00:10:12,922 --> 00:10:14,993
Leave us.
264
00:10:14,993 --> 00:10:16,754
What the fuck
took you so long?!
265
00:10:16,754 --> 00:10:18,825
You left me here.We didn't know
you were with us!
266
00:10:18,825 --> 00:10:20,654
Do you know how much shit
I've had to deal with?
267
00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:22,104
You're in a cape, Summer.
268
00:10:22,104 --> 00:10:23,001
How bad could it be?
269
00:10:23,001 --> 00:10:25,176
No bad story
ends with a cape.
270
00:10:25,176 --> 00:10:29,421
You don't know anything
about my story.
271
00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:32,459
"I couldn't help but wonder,
was Gharkhul really capable
272
00:10:32,459 --> 00:10:33,978
of consuming a living sun,
273
00:10:33,978 --> 00:10:36,843
or was I simply getting
too close to Gharkhul?
274
00:10:36,843 --> 00:10:38,499
Was Gharkhul consuming me?"
275
00:10:38,499 --> 00:10:39,915
Rick, can we listen
to something else?
276
00:10:39,915 --> 00:10:41,571
Quiet! She's just about
to summon Gharkhul.
277
00:10:41,571 --> 00:10:43,332
She's been talking about
summoning Gharkhul
278
00:10:43,332 --> 00:10:44,747
for three episodes,
Summer.
279
00:10:44,747 --> 00:10:46,507
Wait a minute,
what's that in your mouth?
280
00:10:46,507 --> 00:10:47,819
It's a toothpick.
281
00:10:47,819 --> 00:10:49,649
I'm a toothpicker now.
Get used to it.
282
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,651
God, are you that desperate
for a thing?
283
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,342
It ismy thing.
284
00:10:53,342 --> 00:10:56,448
Just like yours is dying alone
and yours is jerking off.
285
00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:59,520
At least jerking off tracks
for my character, you know?
286
00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:01,833
I like to jerk off.
I'm 14. I own it.
287
00:11:01,833 --> 00:11:03,283
Well, I jerk off, too!Alright, stop.
288
00:11:03,283 --> 00:11:04,974
Jesus Chris, I don't wanna think
about that shit.
289
00:11:04,974 --> 00:11:06,527
Summer, keep your toothpick.Gross!
290
00:11:06,527 --> 00:11:08,150
Morty, stop talking to
your sister about jerking off.
291
00:11:08,150 --> 00:11:09,772
Everyone pretend podcasting
isn't boring.
292
00:11:09,772 --> 00:11:11,947
[ Creature cawing ]
293
00:11:12,879 --> 00:11:14,950
Whoa, Morty, look how
wet this egg is.
294
00:11:14,950 --> 00:11:16,952
I dunno, Rick.
That looks a little too wet.
295
00:11:16,952 --> 00:11:18,298
D-Don't touch it.Oh, I'm gonna touch it.
296
00:11:18,298 --> 00:11:19,782
Why are you guys screaming
at an egg?
297
00:11:19,782 --> 00:11:21,059
Shut up, Summer!
Just let us look at an egg!
298
00:11:21,059 --> 00:11:22,474
Yeah, Summer,
shut the fuck up.
299
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:23,890
Fucking shit.Nobody wants you here.
300
00:11:23,890 --> 00:11:25,477
You know, sometimes we like
to go on adventures
301
00:11:25,477 --> 00:11:26,893
and look at wet eggs,
you know?Can we just go?
302
00:11:26,893 --> 00:11:28,308
This place is giving me
the creeps.
303
00:11:28,308 --> 00:11:29,481
Holy shit.
I love this egg.
304
00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:30,655
Hey, look,
mine's doing it, too.
305
00:11:30,655 --> 00:11:33,347
Are you guys sure
that's safe?
306
00:11:33,347 --> 00:11:35,384
Oh, my God!
307
00:11:35,384 --> 00:11:39,112
[ Screeches ]
308
00:11:39,112 --> 00:11:40,941
All is Glorzo.
309
00:11:44,393 --> 00:11:47,016
All is Glorzo.
310
00:11:47,016 --> 00:11:48,569
[ Screeches ]
311
00:11:48,569 --> 00:11:49,812
-God.
-God.
312
00:11:49,812 --> 00:11:51,918
God?
She has a toothpick.
313
00:11:51,918 --> 00:11:54,127
Take it out and put her face
in an egg.
314
00:11:54,127 --> 00:11:55,404
-God.
-God.
315
00:11:55,404 --> 00:11:57,475
For fuck's sake, how long
have you been hatched?
316
00:11:57,475 --> 00:11:58,648
30 seconds?
317
00:11:58,648 --> 00:12:00,892
I've been alive
seven minutes.
318
00:12:00,892 --> 00:12:03,239
Think before you --
-Excuse me, seven minutes?
319
00:12:03,239 --> 00:12:05,517
Uh, I've been here
for 29 minutes.
320
00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:07,588
But yes, take the toothpick
out of her mouth.
321
00:12:07,588 --> 00:12:11,178
Suck on her face this instant
and use her body to --
322
00:12:11,178 --> 00:12:13,663
[ Screams ]
323
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:16,528
What was that?
324
00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:18,703
That is called
responsibility.
325
00:12:18,703 --> 00:12:20,774
He was part of
our greatest generation.
326
00:12:20,774 --> 00:12:23,881
He understood that what you need
to do is suck on a face,
327
00:12:23,881 --> 00:12:25,710
shit an egg, and die.
328
00:12:25,710 --> 00:12:27,505
Wait, so, all you do is live
half an hour,
329
00:12:27,505 --> 00:12:28,609
shit eggs, and die?
330
00:12:28,609 --> 00:12:30,335
Yes.
We love it.
331
00:12:30,335 --> 00:12:31,681
I'll do it right now.
332
00:12:31,681 --> 00:12:33,338
[ Grunting ]
333
00:12:33,338 --> 00:12:35,685
[ Screams ]
334
00:12:35,685 --> 00:12:37,895
Okay, you guys don't have
to listen to me,
335
00:12:37,895 --> 00:12:39,966
but I vote you don't do that?
336
00:12:39,966 --> 00:12:42,692
And who's up for
changing things around here?
337
00:12:44,522 --> 00:12:50,562
♪♪
338
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:54,601
♪ Well, I was hatched from
an egg laid by some guy ♪
339
00:12:54,601 --> 00:12:57,431
♪ 'Cause that is Glorzo's way
340
00:12:57,431 --> 00:13:01,539
♪ And then it came time
to lay my own egg and die ♪
341
00:13:01,539 --> 00:13:02,989
♪ But Summer, she said
342
00:13:02,989 --> 00:13:08,477
♪ "Hey, Glorzo
wants you to stay" ♪
343
00:13:08,477 --> 00:13:11,480
♪ Glory to Glorzo
344
00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:14,897
♪ Means glory to me
345
00:13:14,897 --> 00:13:16,485
♪ If we're only making eggs
346
00:13:16,485 --> 00:13:20,627
♪ Are we ever making
Glorzo free? ♪
347
00:13:20,627 --> 00:13:23,354
Alright, look, uh, this shit's
been brewing for a while.
348
00:13:23,354 --> 00:13:26,288
I'm not gonna win any popularity
contests by saying it,
349
00:13:26,288 --> 00:13:28,600
but here's --
here's the world as I see it.
350
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,983
♪ And for all we know
Everything we've known ♪
351
00:13:31,983 --> 00:13:35,953
♪ Is just some shit
we made up ♪
352
00:13:35,953 --> 00:13:38,852
♪ Glory to Glorzo
353
00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:42,269
♪ Means glory to me
354
00:13:42,269 --> 00:13:44,306
♪ We got too many eggs
and not enough society ♪
355
00:13:44,306 --> 00:13:46,377
I mean, look, we are designed
to suck on faces and lay eggs.
356
00:13:46,377 --> 00:13:49,311
Life is life,
and that's the way it goes.
357
00:13:49,311 --> 00:13:55,420
♪♪
358
00:13:55,420 --> 00:13:57,043
Hello, Troy.
Hello, Jez.
359
00:13:57,043 --> 00:13:59,114
How is it going?Really good, commander.
360
00:13:59,114 --> 00:14:00,667
Should be ready by tomorrow.
361
00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:01,944
That is what
I like to hear.
362
00:14:01,944 --> 00:14:04,015
Great work,
Glory to Glorzo.
363
00:14:04,015 --> 00:14:07,191
Honestly, Summer,
I can't thank you enough.
364
00:14:07,191 --> 00:14:09,883
When we met, we were just
shitting eggs in a cave,
365
00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:12,886
but you showed us life
is about more than that.
366
00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:14,508
It is about living.
367
00:14:14,508 --> 00:14:16,303
And now,
with these missiles,
368
00:14:16,303 --> 00:14:19,134
we will be able to reach
the entire universe.
369
00:14:19,134 --> 00:14:23,310
We say it all the time,
but I guess all is Glorzo.
370
00:14:23,310 --> 00:14:24,484
Yeah, that sounds great.
371
00:14:24,484 --> 00:14:26,037
And you've been great.
Yeah.
372
00:14:26,037 --> 00:14:28,039
You've been so great
that I've been thinking
373
00:14:28,039 --> 00:14:30,559
maybe it's time for you
to get off my brother.
374
00:14:30,559 --> 00:14:32,181
Who's your brother?
375
00:14:32,181 --> 00:14:33,148
Oh, this?
376
00:14:33,148 --> 00:14:34,701
Forgot he was there, haha.
377
00:14:34,701 --> 00:14:36,254
Wait.
What are you saying?
378
00:14:36,254 --> 00:14:38,153
I'm saying that you've
been great, Steve,
379
00:14:38,153 --> 00:14:40,672
but we've been thinking
it's time for a new chapter.
380
00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:42,605
We?
Uh, this is Shane.
381
00:14:42,605 --> 00:14:44,159
He'll be handling
the day-to-day.
382
00:14:44,159 --> 00:14:45,677
It's an honor
to meet you, sir.
383
00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:49,129
I might only be two minutes old,
but I know you're a legend.
384
00:14:49,750 --> 00:14:51,097
She doesn't care
about us.
385
00:14:51,097 --> 00:14:53,168
She just wants her fuckin'
host back.
386
00:14:53,168 --> 00:14:55,653
I don't know what to do.Oh, now you want my help.
387
00:14:55,653 --> 00:14:56,999
Too late for that.Come on, man.
388
00:14:56,999 --> 00:14:58,173
What is this shit?
389
00:14:58,173 --> 00:14:59,657
You don't get to
do this to me.
390
00:14:59,657 --> 00:15:01,003
We were in eggs together.
391
00:15:01,003 --> 00:15:02,384
Oh, fuck since
we were in eggs.
392
00:15:02,384 --> 00:15:03,764
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
now you respect, like,
393
00:15:03,764 --> 00:15:05,594
the biological
institutions now?
394
00:15:05,594 --> 00:15:06,906
Fuck you.
All you care about
395
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,287
is "progress"
and society and skyscrapers.
396
00:15:09,287 --> 00:15:11,082
You don't care about
fuckin' biology.
397
00:15:11,082 --> 00:15:12,877
Oh, yeah, well, what
the fuck?
398
00:15:12,877 --> 00:15:15,190
You -- How you you haven't laid
and egg inside this old man yet?
399
00:15:15,190 --> 00:15:16,708
Because I do what I want.
400
00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:18,020
Because someone's gotta
stand up for what's right.
401
00:15:18,020 --> 00:15:19,263
Why do you hate her
so much?
402
00:15:19,263 --> 00:15:22,922
Because she took you away
from me!
403
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,785
Whoa, man.
Jesus Christ.
404
00:15:24,785 --> 00:15:27,409
No, I-I didn't, I --Whoa, whoa, whoa. No.
405
00:15:27,409 --> 00:15:29,721
It's cool.
406
00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,758
I feel the same way.
407
00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:37,971
Oh, my God, I...
408
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:39,490
I wish we could suck
on each other.
409
00:15:39,490 --> 00:15:42,217
I wanna suck on you, too.I'm gonna suck you so hard.
410
00:15:42,217 --> 00:15:43,943
Suck me.
C-C-Can we do this?
411
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,289
A-A-Are we allowed to
do this?
412
00:15:45,289 --> 00:15:47,325
I don't care.
I just want you.
413
00:15:47,325 --> 00:15:48,395
Fuck all of this.
414
00:15:48,395 --> 00:15:49,810
Let's just get the hell
outta here
415
00:15:49,810 --> 00:15:51,812
and be whatever
the fuck we want.
416
00:15:51,812 --> 00:15:54,263
That's evolution.
That's progress.
417
00:15:54,263 --> 00:15:57,128
I want a family.
Can we have a family.
418
00:15:57,128 --> 00:15:58,923
Yeah.
419
00:16:06,586 --> 00:16:08,312
-Aah, aah!
-[ Screeches ]
420
00:16:14,628 --> 00:16:15,802
Oh, my God.
421
00:16:15,802 --> 00:16:17,528
Holy shit.
Oh.
422
00:16:17,528 --> 00:16:19,771
What are --
What are these things?!Do I look like I know?
423
00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:22,119
Hey, wait a second.
How'd you know that last part?
424
00:16:22,119 --> 00:16:24,086
You weren't there for that.I had to fill in some gaps.
425
00:16:24,086 --> 00:16:26,261
Everyone around the office
knew about Steve and Bruce.
426
00:16:26,261 --> 00:16:30,127
I've got a plan, okay.
You just have to follow my lead.
427
00:16:30,127 --> 00:16:32,646
The punishment is...
428
00:16:32,646 --> 00:16:34,027
death.Motherfucker. Summer!
429
00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:35,960
You said you had a plan!Silence.
430
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:38,169
The council of Glorzos
has spoken.
431
00:16:38,169 --> 00:16:39,653
More like
council of shit.
432
00:16:39,653 --> 00:16:41,759
Glorzo is law.Silence.
433
00:16:41,759 --> 00:16:44,658
The punishment is death.
434
00:16:44,658 --> 00:16:47,040
By...
getting into their car.
435
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,766
Summer?
Shut up.
436
00:16:48,766 --> 00:16:51,596
Yes, place them in the car.
437
00:16:51,596 --> 00:16:52,839
Those pieces of shit.
438
00:16:52,839 --> 00:16:54,461
No, no, no!
This is like torture.
439
00:16:54,461 --> 00:16:56,532
No, I-I-I-I hate being
in my car.
440
00:16:56,532 --> 00:16:59,225
You deserve it,
you pieces of shit.
441
00:16:59,225 --> 00:17:01,468
And to make sure
the sentence is passed,
442
00:17:01,468 --> 00:17:03,332
I shall be joining them.
443
00:17:03,332 --> 00:17:04,506
In the car.
444
00:17:04,506 --> 00:17:07,647
And we shall drive away
from here and die.
445
00:17:07,647 --> 00:17:09,062
Oooookay.
446
00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:10,581
Guess what, everybody.
447
00:17:10,581 --> 00:17:13,377
It's me, the whiny guy
you never want to hear from.
448
00:17:13,377 --> 00:17:15,620
She's trying to escape
with her family.
449
00:17:15,620 --> 00:17:16,725
My time to shine.
450
00:17:16,725 --> 00:17:18,175
Execute her.
451
00:17:18,175 --> 00:17:20,901
Okay, plan B.
Morty, now.
452
00:17:20,901 --> 00:17:22,627
[ Harmonica plays ]
453
00:17:22,627 --> 00:17:24,560
Aah!
454
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,148
Jesus, Morty, that sucks.
455
00:17:26,148 --> 00:17:27,529
Alright, stop playing,
Morty.
456
00:17:27,529 --> 00:17:28,909
I-I got this.
457
00:17:28,909 --> 00:17:30,463
[ Harmonica plays
over speakers ]
458
00:17:30,463 --> 00:17:31,705
Aah!
459
00:17:31,705 --> 00:17:33,466
[ Glorzos gasping, screaming ]
460
00:17:36,503 --> 00:17:38,988
Glorzo: This is what we get
for evolving?
461
00:17:38,988 --> 00:17:41,094
Sorry!
Sorry.
462
00:17:41,094 --> 00:17:43,234
I-I'm sorry. We -- We --
We thought you were evil.
463
00:17:43,234 --> 00:17:44,856
Why would you think that?
464
00:17:44,856 --> 00:17:47,997
We had a giant tower
that blared "Glorzo is peace."
465
00:17:47,997 --> 00:17:50,207
I know.
I -- Should -- Should we help?
466
00:17:50,207 --> 00:17:51,691
-Boo!
-Oh, like that's helping.
467
00:17:51,691 --> 00:17:53,555
Got it. Going.
Okay, we're gonna hit the road.
468
00:17:53,555 --> 00:17:56,696
You're -- You're just going?You told us to go!
469
00:17:56,696 --> 00:17:59,043
Once again,
I'm so sorry for what they --
470
00:17:59,043 --> 00:18:00,665
You're part of this, too.
Boo!
471
00:18:00,665 --> 00:18:01,839
We hate you the most.
472
00:18:01,839 --> 00:18:04,083
Get out.
473
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,774
Jesus, Summer,
why'd you let these things
474
00:18:05,774 --> 00:18:07,016
stay on us for so long?
475
00:18:07,016 --> 00:18:08,466
I was working with a lot.
476
00:18:08,466 --> 00:18:11,262
Just let me listen
to the podcast next time.
477
00:18:15,611 --> 00:18:17,372
Nailed that landing.
478
00:18:17,372 --> 00:18:19,028
[ Grunts ]
479
00:18:19,028 --> 00:18:21,583
Huh.
Neat-looking egg.
480
00:18:21,583 --> 00:18:23,585
[ Glorzo screeches ]
481
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,038
Okay, well, I'm not
cleaning up this shit.
482
00:18:29,038 --> 00:18:31,938
[ Grunts ]
Aah!
483
00:18:35,942 --> 00:18:38,634
Maybe we, uh -- Maybe we don't
tell people about this one.
484
00:18:38,634 --> 00:18:40,222
Did we at least
learn something?
485
00:18:40,222 --> 00:18:42,604
That we suck
and everyone sucks?
486
00:18:42,604 --> 00:18:45,434
I guess that counts.
487
00:18:45,434 --> 00:18:46,677
Later, chodes.
488
00:18:46,677 --> 00:18:48,368
Hit me on the next one.
489
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,579
You know, Rick,
I'm sure you wanna jump
490
00:18:52,579 --> 00:18:55,168
into another crazy adventure,
but can we just relax
491
00:18:55,168 --> 00:18:57,032
and maybe watch
some interdimensional cable?
492
00:18:57,032 --> 00:18:59,068
I'm cool if you are.Honestly, that sounds great.
493
00:18:59,068 --> 00:19:00,760
W-We don't need to try so hard,
you know.
494
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:02,589
Let's just take it easy
and riff, you know.
495
00:19:02,589 --> 00:19:04,936
That's what I love about us.Me, too, buddy.
496
00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:06,835
Man: Do you suffer
from Alzheimer's?
497
00:19:06,835 --> 00:19:08,457
Do you suffer from Alzheimer's?
498
00:19:08,457 --> 00:19:10,356
Do you suffer
from Alzheimer's?
499
00:19:10,356 --> 00:19:11,598
Do you suffer from Alzheimer's?
500
00:19:11,598 --> 00:19:13,428
-Reggie?
-Do you suffer from Alzheimer's?
501
00:19:13,428 --> 00:19:14,843
Man #2:
Reggie, you alright in there?[ Growling ]
502
00:19:14,843 --> 00:19:17,259
Mm, Rick, do you feel...
503
00:19:17,259 --> 00:19:19,779
Oh, God,
I have to shit an egg.
504
00:19:19,779 --> 00:19:20,987
Oh, my God, oh, shit.
505
00:19:20,987 --> 00:19:22,299
Oh, it hurts.
Oh God,
506
00:19:22,299 --> 00:19:24,093
is this how we die, Rick?
Is this how we die?!
507
00:19:24,093 --> 00:19:25,785
I don't know, Morty.
I don't know! Aah!
508
00:19:25,785 --> 00:19:27,787
I don't want to shit an egg,
Rick!
I'm sorry, Morty.
509
00:19:27,787 --> 00:19:29,616
I'm sorry! It's my fault.
It's all my fault!
510
00:19:29,616 --> 00:19:30,617
Hey, you two. Did you --
511
00:19:30,617 --> 00:19:32,999
Beth, your son is dying!
Say goodbye!
512
00:19:32,999 --> 00:19:35,139
What are you --Say goodbye
to your little boy!
513
00:19:35,139 --> 00:19:36,520
No, look away!
514
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:38,660
I'm making an egg, Mom.
I'm making an egg!
515
00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:41,283
You said you'd keep me more
in the loop this year.
516
00:19:41,283 --> 00:19:43,803
Look away, Beth!
Daddy loves you!
517
00:19:43,803 --> 00:19:45,045
My ass!
My ass!
518
00:19:45,045 --> 00:19:46,288
This is it, Morty!
519
00:19:46,288 --> 00:19:47,979
It's full circle
from the pilot.
520
00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:49,222
Full circle!
521
00:19:49,222 --> 00:19:51,051
[ Both scream, fart ]
522
00:19:51,051 --> 00:19:52,467
[ Grunts ]
523
00:19:52,467 --> 00:19:54,779
[ Sighs ]
524
00:19:54,779 --> 00:19:56,367
Oh, I guess we, uh --
525
00:19:56,367 --> 00:19:57,575
I guess we both just had
to take a shit.
526
00:19:57,575 --> 00:19:59,508
Yeah,
I-I-I guess we, uh...
527
00:19:59,508 --> 00:20:00,716
Fucking gross.
528
00:20:00,716 --> 00:20:02,718
Guys, clean it up.
529
00:20:02,718 --> 00:20:09,622
♪♪
530
00:20:09,622 --> 00:20:16,560
♪♪
531
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:23,463
♪♪
532
00:20:23,463 --> 00:20:28,641
♪♪
533
00:20:28,641 --> 00:20:33,818
♪♪
534
00:20:34,716 --> 00:20:37,028
[ Bees buzzing ]Look at your dad.
535
00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:40,377
Such a dork, keeping bees.
536
00:20:40,377 --> 00:20:42,689
I mean, it's -- at least
it's interesting, though.
537
00:20:42,689 --> 00:20:45,520
At least, like --
I wish my dad kept bees.
538
00:20:46,452 --> 00:20:47,901
I mean,
it's kind of cute.
539
00:20:47,901 --> 00:20:52,837
Like...
your dad keeps bees.
540
00:20:52,837 --> 00:20:55,254
How old is your dad?
541
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:59,396
He's obviously
beekeeping age.
542
00:20:59,396 --> 00:21:02,502
I don't know,
I think it's kind of sweet.
543
00:21:04,711 --> 00:21:06,541
Summer, I want to
fuck your dad.
544
00:21:06,541 --> 00:21:07,749
Oh, really?
38776
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