All language subtitles for One Day at a Time - 04x05 - Diamonds.W4F.English.orig.Addic7ed.com

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,553 --> 00:00:02,221 How's your essay going for Yale? 2 00:00:02,223 --> 00:00:03,623 Did you pick a topic yet? 3 00:00:03,624 --> 00:00:08,628 Um, I narrowed it down to a few options. 4 00:00:08,629 --> 00:00:11,298 Maybe you could just send the whole board and hope for the best. 5 00:00:11,299 --> 00:00:15,335 The website specifically said not to do that. 6 00:00:15,336 --> 00:00:17,737 But I can't get over how well-rounded I am. 7 00:00:17,738 --> 00:00:19,873 I mean, am I too interesting? 8 00:00:19,874 --> 00:00:22,709 No. 9 00:00:22,710 --> 00:00:25,078 Okay, look, each color represents a different aspect 10 00:00:25,079 --> 00:00:26,813 of my life that is essay-worthy. 11 00:00:26,814 --> 00:00:28,815 Like, red is "Growing Up Cuban," 12 00:00:28,816 --> 00:00:30,583 and orange is "My Dad Abandoned Me 13 00:00:30,584 --> 00:00:33,386 But Got Into Recovery, So We're Cool Now," 14 00:00:33,387 --> 00:00:36,156 and purple is just "General Gay Stuff." 15 00:00:36,157 --> 00:00:38,024 General Gay Stuff 16 00:00:38,025 --> 00:00:42,062 is also my ranking in the lesbian army. 17 00:00:42,063 --> 00:00:46,367 'Sup, fam? I was just wondering how the planning is coming for my quinces. 18 00:00:49,737 --> 00:00:51,938 What the hell are you talking about? 19 00:00:51,939 --> 00:00:54,841 Well, I thought that since Elena had a quinces, 20 00:00:54,842 --> 00:00:56,509 obviously I would also be given a party 21 00:00:56,510 --> 00:00:58,445 to celebrate my coming of age, 22 00:00:58,446 --> 00:01:00,915 this being a house of gender equality and all. 23 00:01:03,117 --> 00:01:04,584 What the hell is he talking about? 24 00:01:04,585 --> 00:01:07,954 Hey, on the other hand, if it's too much trouble, 25 00:01:07,955 --> 00:01:09,723 you can just give me the cash instead. 26 00:01:09,724 --> 00:01:12,425 Okay. 27 00:01:12,426 --> 00:01:15,061 Now I understand. You want money. 28 00:01:15,062 --> 00:01:19,232 I thought you were woke. Turns out, you're just broke. 29 00:01:19,233 --> 00:01:22,035 I actually love the idea of throwing you a quinces. 30 00:01:22,036 --> 00:01:24,137 Ooh. -You do? 31 00:01:24,138 --> 00:01:25,638 Yeah. 32 00:01:25,639 --> 00:01:27,307 I mean, you think it's a special day for you, 33 00:01:27,308 --> 00:01:30,243 but, really, it's about what a great mom I am. 34 00:01:30,244 --> 00:01:32,045 I know you came in here trying to scam us for money, 35 00:01:32,046 --> 00:01:34,314 but congratulations, you played yourself. 36 00:01:34,315 --> 00:01:35,982 We're doing this. 37 00:01:35,983 --> 00:01:39,819 Finally, a day we can focus on Papito. 38 00:01:39,820 --> 00:01:41,228 My God. 39 00:01:41,230 --> 00:01:43,823 We're gonna break gender norms and have a quincea�er-o. 40 00:01:43,824 --> 00:01:44,824 Whoo-hoo. -I know. 41 00:01:44,825 --> 00:01:46,426 I get a mother-son dance. 42 00:01:46,427 --> 00:01:49,229 And I get a mistaken-for- your-mother-son dance. 43 00:01:57,905 --> 00:01:59,606 Stop. I admit it. 44 00:01:59,607 --> 00:02:01,341 I don't really want a quincea�ero. 45 00:02:01,342 --> 00:02:03,009 Yeah, this isn't about you anymore. 46 00:02:05,746 --> 00:02:07,614 I just need $500, okay? 47 00:02:07,615 --> 00:02:11,117 What? $500?. Why? 48 00:02:11,118 --> 00:02:13,853 For once, can't you just give me $500 49 00:02:13,854 --> 00:02:16,489 without asking any questions? 50 00:02:16,490 --> 00:02:19,492 Papito. What are you thinking, 51 00:02:19,493 --> 00:02:22,362 asking your mommy for so much money? 52 00:02:22,363 --> 00:02:25,698 I'll give it to you. 53 00:02:25,699 --> 00:02:29,703 You know what? Actually, I would love to see you pull $500 out of there. 54 00:02:31,205 --> 00:02:33,473 Okay, I'm bluffing. 55 00:02:33,474 --> 00:02:35,842 I am bluffing, but don't worry, Papito. 56 00:02:35,843 --> 00:02:38,778 I will take it out of my savings account. 57 00:02:38,779 --> 00:02:42,715 I just need to grab my map and a shovel. 58 00:02:42,716 --> 00:02:44,818 It's fine, Abuelita. Forget it. 59 00:02:44,819 --> 00:02:46,387 I'm sorry I asked. 60 00:02:48,989 --> 00:02:51,157 Should I be worried about that? 61 00:02:51,158 --> 00:02:54,095 Wait, I do have money. 62 00:02:56,530 --> 00:03:00,733 It's a ketchup packet. 63 00:03:07,374 --> 00:03:09,042 Hey, Dr. B. What are you doing here? 64 00:03:09,043 --> 00:03:11,578 I wanted to drop off an early baby gift. 65 00:03:11,579 --> 00:03:14,514 I-I know you're coming by for an ultrasound in a couple of days, 66 00:03:14,515 --> 00:03:18,051 but I wanted you guys to have this now. 67 00:03:18,052 --> 00:03:20,920 Our first baby gift. -This is so exciting. 68 00:03:20,921 --> 00:03:23,022 I know. 69 00:03:23,023 --> 00:03:26,826 Thank you so much Dr. 70 00:03:26,827 --> 00:03:28,361 Meet Ruckus the Clown. 71 00:03:28,362 --> 00:03:32,866 He's been in my family for years, and I wanted to pass him on to you. 72 00:03:32,867 --> 00:03:35,568 I bet you did. 73 00:03:35,869 --> 00:03:39,705 Ruckus watched over me when I was growing up. 74 00:03:39,706 --> 00:03:44,076 He was my confidant, he was my caretaker, 75 00:03:44,077 --> 00:03:47,681 and the best big spoon you ever spooned. 76 00:03:51,385 --> 00:03:54,220 Dr. B. 77 00:03:54,221 --> 00:03:58,090 We couldn't possibly take something so... 78 00:03:58,091 --> 00:04:02,428 obviously meant for you. -Yeah. 79 00:04:02,429 --> 00:04:04,664 Get that guy out of here. 80 00:04:04,665 --> 00:04:07,366 Right now. -No, no, no, no, no. 81 00:04:07,367 --> 00:04:09,735 I-I've thought about this long and hard. 82 00:04:09,736 --> 00:04:13,172 Ruckus' cold, pale face is my first memory, 83 00:04:13,173 --> 00:04:16,275 and I want that for your child. 84 00:04:16,276 --> 00:04:18,044 I don't... 85 00:04:18,045 --> 00:04:22,081 know what to say. 86 00:04:22,082 --> 00:04:25,885 I am glad that you love him as much as I do. 87 00:04:27,588 --> 00:04:31,057 You know, you guys remind me so much 88 00:04:31,058 --> 00:04:33,593 of when Sophie and I had our first baby. 89 00:04:33,594 --> 00:04:37,263 So full of joy and hope. 90 00:04:37,264 --> 00:04:41,634 And then the baby's born and... bam... all gone. 91 00:04:41,635 --> 00:04:45,037 Hope and joy is replaced with fear and regret. 92 00:04:45,038 --> 00:04:47,106 And then you start turning on each other. 93 00:04:47,107 --> 00:04:49,809 And that's when the lawyers start circling like hyenas 94 00:04:49,810 --> 00:04:52,846 around the rotting corpse of your relationship. 95 00:04:54,982 --> 00:04:56,984 Whoa. Got to go. 96 00:05:04,157 --> 00:05:06,792 Welcome home. 97 00:05:06,793 --> 00:05:10,062 I get why she does this. It's a real power move. 98 00:05:10,063 --> 00:05:12,765 What are you doing back there? -I'll ask the questions. 99 00:05:12,766 --> 00:05:14,800 Why do you need $500? 100 00:05:14,801 --> 00:05:18,237 Because I Googled "what does a teenage boy need $500 for?" 101 00:05:18,238 --> 00:05:21,607 and it autofilled with some really disturbing stuff. 102 00:05:21,608 --> 00:05:23,109 Just forget it. I'm over it. 103 00:05:23,110 --> 00:05:24,810 No, I'm not over it. I'm spinning out. 104 00:05:24,811 --> 00:05:27,013 I'm thinking "exotic pet deal gone wrong." 105 00:05:27,014 --> 00:05:29,415 I-I went on a whole subreddit about calf implants. 106 00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:31,150 Help me out. 107 00:05:31,151 --> 00:05:33,185 My God. It's nothing bad. 108 00:05:33,186 --> 00:05:35,087 But you're gonna think it's stupid. 109 00:05:35,088 --> 00:05:37,690 At this point, I would love to think it's stupid. 110 00:05:37,691 --> 00:05:40,293 Okay. 111 00:05:40,294 --> 00:05:44,196 I want to take a class... 112 00:05:44,197 --> 00:05:46,432 in fashion design. 113 00:05:47,701 --> 00:05:49,035 See? I knew you'd think it was stupid. 114 00:05:49,036 --> 00:05:51,137 No. No, I'm just glad that we don't 115 00:05:51,138 --> 00:05:54,307 have to give Elena's room to a Komodo dragon. 116 00:05:54,308 --> 00:05:57,009 No, Alex, I think that's great. 117 00:05:57,010 --> 00:05:58,611 You do? -Yes. 118 00:05:58,612 --> 00:06:00,112 Why didn't you just tell me that? 119 00:06:00,113 --> 00:06:01,948 I don't know. It's not academic, 120 00:06:01,949 --> 00:06:05,318 and I figured you might think it's a waste of money. 121 00:06:05,319 --> 00:06:08,388 It is a waste of money. 122 00:06:10,357 --> 00:06:11,691 Wait. 123 00:06:11,692 --> 00:06:15,061 Why are my curtains already open? 124 00:06:15,062 --> 00:06:17,097 What do you mean? You just opened them. 125 00:06:19,666 --> 00:06:21,268 Okay. 126 00:06:23,971 --> 00:06:27,873 Pero, Papito, why pay for a class 127 00:06:27,874 --> 00:06:30,042 when the world's greatest seamstress 128 00:06:30,043 --> 00:06:32,878 will teach you for free? 129 00:06:32,879 --> 00:06:35,548 I'm talking about myself. 130 00:06:35,549 --> 00:06:37,516 Thanks, Abuelita, but it's actually a class 131 00:06:37,517 --> 00:06:41,487 about street style... -I know the streets. 132 00:06:41,488 --> 00:06:45,057 How do you think I get to the farmers market? 133 00:06:45,058 --> 00:06:47,193 Mommy, help. 134 00:06:47,194 --> 00:06:48,761 Don't worry, I'm not gonna make you go through 135 00:06:48,762 --> 00:06:49,996 what I went through with her. 136 00:06:49,997 --> 00:06:52,331 Excuse me? 137 00:06:52,332 --> 00:06:54,734 Do you remember when I wanted to take that hip-hop class? 138 00:06:54,735 --> 00:06:56,569 You said, "Why pay for the class 139 00:06:56,570 --> 00:06:59,839 when the world's greatest dancer can teach for you free? 140 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:02,174 I'm talking about myself." 141 00:07:02,175 --> 00:07:03,609 I did teach you. 142 00:07:03,610 --> 00:07:07,179 There are no castanets in hip-hop, Mami. 143 00:07:07,180 --> 00:07:11,384 Well, if there were, it would be popular. 144 00:07:11,385 --> 00:07:13,619 Papito. 145 00:07:13,620 --> 00:07:16,922 Imagine you and me wearing matching 146 00:07:16,923 --> 00:07:20,487 homemade street outfits. 147 00:07:22,562 --> 00:07:25,398 I am definitely imagining it. 148 00:07:25,399 --> 00:07:27,600 Don't worry, Alex, you can take the class. 149 00:07:27,601 --> 00:07:29,735 But I'm not giving you the money. 150 00:07:29,736 --> 00:07:33,939 I am investing in the future of fashion, which is you. 151 00:07:33,940 --> 00:07:36,042 I can't wait to see you on "Project Runway." 152 00:07:36,043 --> 00:07:37,576 Not as a contestant, as a judge. 153 00:07:37,577 --> 00:07:39,478 'Cause that's how we do. 154 00:07:39,479 --> 00:07:41,447 Plus I'm gonna look fly as hell, so I'm in. 155 00:07:41,448 --> 00:07:42,782 My God. 156 00:07:42,783 --> 00:07:45,285 Thank you so much, Mami. You're the best. 157 00:07:49,289 --> 00:07:51,424 Well... 158 00:07:51,425 --> 00:07:57,263 I'll get my needle and thread so I can mend my broken heart. 159 00:07:57,264 --> 00:07:58,998 Do you what you need to do, Mami. 160 00:07:58,999 --> 00:08:00,766 I have made up my mind. 161 00:08:00,767 --> 00:08:02,568 Alex is taking the class. 162 00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:04,171 IY ya. 163 00:08:05,772 --> 00:08:08,407 I love this. 164 00:08:08,408 --> 00:08:10,510 What the hell is going on? 165 00:08:12,923 --> 00:08:14,783 There's my little genius. 166 00:08:14,784 --> 00:08:15,784 How's the essay going? 167 00:08:15,785 --> 00:08:18,153 I've got nothing. 168 00:08:18,154 --> 00:08:19,622 What? This looks great. 169 00:08:19,623 --> 00:08:23,665 You're just a ball of red yarn away from cracking this murder case. 170 00:08:23,926 --> 00:08:27,095 No, I stayed up all night writing 15 different essays, 171 00:08:27,097 --> 00:08:29,131 only to discover that all of them sucked. 172 00:08:29,132 --> 00:08:30,766 I need Yale to fall in love with me, 173 00:08:30,767 --> 00:08:34,236 and this will just make them file a restraining order. 174 00:08:34,237 --> 00:08:35,938 I'm sure it'll be fine. -Fine? 175 00:08:35,939 --> 00:08:37,500 Yeah. -Well, I should just 176 00:08:37,502 --> 00:08:39,904 get my GED and start backpacking. 177 00:08:41,878 --> 00:08:44,747 Okay, maybe I'll go back to my first idea 178 00:08:44,748 --> 00:08:46,916 about how I want to put the "I" in "environmental." 179 00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:50,819 I think you put the "mental" in "environmental." 180 00:08:50,820 --> 00:08:54,623 Can't even tell if that's a good idea or not. 181 00:08:54,624 --> 00:08:56,425 Okay, yeah, no, I'm fine. 182 00:08:56,426 --> 00:08:59,662 Chaos is part of my process. 183 00:08:59,663 --> 00:09:00,963 Hey. 184 00:09:00,964 --> 00:09:02,331 Hey, how was your fashion class? 185 00:09:02,332 --> 00:09:03,899 When does your line come out 186 00:09:03,900 --> 00:09:06,268 so I can buy it a year later at Nordstrom Rack? 187 00:09:06,269 --> 00:09:10,472 Yes, tell us what the strangers taught you. 188 00:09:10,473 --> 00:09:11,807 Show us, come on. -Okay. 189 00:09:11,808 --> 00:09:13,609 It's just a simple pair of shorts, 190 00:09:13,610 --> 00:09:17,025 and it's my first project, so don't get too excited. 191 00:09:18,582 --> 00:09:20,183 Alex. 192 00:09:22,786 --> 00:09:25,154 This is really good. -Thanks. 193 00:09:25,155 --> 00:09:26,689 I mean, I knew you were crushing it, 194 00:09:26,690 --> 00:09:29,124 but, damn, my investment is paying off already. 195 00:09:29,125 --> 00:09:30,826 Mami, didn't he do a great job? 196 00:09:30,827 --> 00:09:34,664 Well, I wouldn't call it a "street style." 197 00:09:36,466 --> 00:09:39,868 You know who wouldn't be caught dead in these? 198 00:09:39,869 --> 00:09:41,538 Dr. Ake. 199 00:09:44,507 --> 00:09:46,108 Do you mean Dr. Dre? 200 00:09:46,109 --> 00:09:47,978 Do you mean Drake? 201 00:09:50,647 --> 00:09:53,549 I said what I said. 202 00:09:53,550 --> 00:09:55,117 Keep up the great work. 203 00:09:55,118 --> 00:09:57,453 Nice job, and next week, I'd like to see a skirt 204 00:09:57,454 --> 00:09:59,688 for your mother, the woman that made this all possible. 205 00:09:59,689 --> 00:10:01,992 I'll see what I can do. -Okay. 206 00:10:04,628 --> 00:10:08,130 Mami, you got to admit, this is pretty good. 207 00:10:08,131 --> 00:10:09,733 I admit nothing. 208 00:10:11,868 --> 00:10:14,703 It's obvious he got his talent from me. 209 00:10:14,704 --> 00:10:18,407 Good clean lines, good stitching, 210 00:10:18,408 --> 00:10:20,175 "made in China." 211 00:10:20,176 --> 00:10:22,679 How far away is this class? 212 00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:29,218 Alex didn't make these. 213 00:10:29,219 --> 00:10:30,686 He lied to us. 214 00:10:30,687 --> 00:10:33,022 It's worse than you think. 215 00:10:33,023 --> 00:10:34,691 "Dry-clean only." 216 00:10:48,171 --> 00:10:52,074 Please tell me that's your hand on my butt. 217 00:10:52,075 --> 00:10:54,543 I was just thinking about what Dr. B said. 218 00:10:54,544 --> 00:10:55,878 My God. Me too. 219 00:10:55,879 --> 00:10:58,080 Do you actually think he expects us 220 00:10:58,081 --> 00:11:01,617 to follow these bath-time instructions? 221 00:11:01,618 --> 00:11:03,118 No, I was thinking about how he said 222 00:11:03,119 --> 00:11:05,020 his marriage fell apart after kids. 223 00:11:05,021 --> 00:11:10,259 Yeah, that freaked me out, too. 224 00:11:10,260 --> 00:11:12,628 But that's not us. 225 00:11:12,629 --> 00:11:14,463 We're totally in love. 226 00:11:14,464 --> 00:11:16,633 We've never even had one fight. 227 00:11:18,735 --> 00:11:20,336 You're right. 228 00:11:24,407 --> 00:11:26,075 Why don't I get this guy out of here? 229 00:11:26,076 --> 00:11:28,744 Yes. God. 230 00:11:28,745 --> 00:11:31,213 I have been waiting for you to say that. 231 00:11:31,214 --> 00:11:33,082 Just make sure no one sees it in the trash. 232 00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:35,818 I don't want it to get back to Dr. B and hurt his feelings. 233 00:11:35,819 --> 00:11:37,986 Why would I put him in the trash? 234 00:11:37,987 --> 00:11:41,824 I'm taking him to the baby's room. 235 00:11:41,825 --> 00:11:43,325 What? 236 00:11:43,326 --> 00:11:45,594 You're kidding. 237 00:11:45,595 --> 00:11:49,732 It's... You... Wait, what? 238 00:11:49,733 --> 00:11:51,600 This guy's awesome. 239 00:11:51,601 --> 00:11:53,969 I can't believe Dr. B was willing to part with him. 240 00:11:53,970 --> 00:11:56,106 Honestly, I feel safer. 241 00:11:58,074 --> 00:12:01,310 You are not putting that thing near our baby's crib. 242 00:12:01,311 --> 00:12:02,811 'Course not. You heard the doc. 243 00:12:02,812 --> 00:12:05,781 He's a spooner. He needs to be in the crib. 244 00:12:05,782 --> 00:12:09,451 He's a creepy serial-killer doll with polka-dot pants. 245 00:12:09,452 --> 00:12:11,987 And he smells like cheese. 246 00:12:11,988 --> 00:12:14,089 He smells like love. 247 00:12:14,090 --> 00:12:17,159 And a little bit like Camembert. 248 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:19,161 Are we really having our first fight over a... 249 00:12:19,162 --> 00:12:21,163 Over a stupid antique clown?. 250 00:12:21,164 --> 00:12:24,366 No, we're having our first fight over my new best friend. 251 00:12:24,367 --> 00:12:27,936 Come on, Ruckus. 252 00:12:27,937 --> 00:12:30,339 Buddy, are you okay? 253 00:12:30,340 --> 00:12:31,875 He's not real. 254 00:12:34,599 --> 00:12:35,799 Hey, bud. 255 00:12:36,065 --> 00:12:38,433 I just want to say one more time great job. 256 00:12:38,435 --> 00:12:40,603 Really professional. 257 00:12:40,604 --> 00:12:44,072 Like something you'd find in a store. 258 00:12:44,074 --> 00:12:46,576 Thanks. You know, it took a lot out of me. 259 00:12:46,577 --> 00:12:48,278 So I'm just gonna take a nap. 260 00:12:50,881 --> 00:12:53,416 Yeah, you thought of every detail. 261 00:12:53,417 --> 00:12:55,818 I mean, even a receipt. -You found the receipt? 262 00:12:55,819 --> 00:12:58,054 Well, now I don't have to. 263 00:12:58,055 --> 00:13:01,090 If you were really taking the class, I'd have you make me a trench coat, 264 00:13:01,091 --> 00:13:03,460 'cause I'm freaking McGruff. Ruff ruff, ya busted. 265 00:13:05,596 --> 00:13:06,929 I'm sorry. I can explain. 266 00:13:06,930 --> 00:13:10,032 Yeah, you better 'cause you lied to me. 267 00:13:10,033 --> 00:13:11,567 I quit the class. 268 00:13:11,568 --> 00:13:13,703 I-I decided I didn't want to go anymore. 269 00:13:14,872 --> 00:13:16,973 And don't worry, I got a refund. 270 00:13:16,974 --> 00:13:18,674 Well, why didn't you just tell me that? 271 00:13:18,675 --> 00:13:21,711 I wouldn't make you keep going to the class if I knew you hated it. 272 00:13:21,712 --> 00:13:23,512 I'm not Abuelita pounding out the counts to "No Diggity" 273 00:13:23,513 --> 00:13:25,115 with her chancletas. 274 00:13:27,084 --> 00:13:30,086 I didn't hate it. 275 00:13:31,141 --> 00:13:33,109 I loved it. 276 00:13:34,658 --> 00:13:37,226 Okay, now I don't know what's going on. 277 00:13:37,888 --> 00:13:41,357 I loved it, but I sucked at it, so I quit. 278 00:13:41,359 --> 00:13:42,787 And I bought the stupid shorts so I 279 00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:44,500 wouldn't have to have this conversation. 280 00:13:44,501 --> 00:13:46,235 So what was your plan? 281 00:13:46,236 --> 00:13:48,204 You were just gonna keep buying clothes until I showed up 282 00:13:48,205 --> 00:13:51,941 to a fake graduation, looking fantastic? 283 00:13:51,942 --> 00:13:54,343 I'm not saying it was a good plan, 284 00:13:54,344 --> 00:13:55,545 but that was the plan. 285 00:13:58,714 --> 00:14:01,182 Alex, relax. 286 00:14:01,184 --> 00:14:03,118 You only took one class. 287 00:14:03,119 --> 00:14:04,620 It's okay not to be perfect. 288 00:14:04,621 --> 00:14:06,121 Not in this family. 289 00:14:06,122 --> 00:14:08,090 I mean, everyone here is "killing it" 290 00:14:08,091 --> 00:14:11,428 and "a badass" and "a strong independent woman." 291 00:14:13,930 --> 00:14:15,964 Abuelita came to this country with nothing, 292 00:14:15,965 --> 00:14:17,866 made a whole life for herself. 293 00:14:17,867 --> 00:14:21,570 You're a military veteran whose job is literally saving lives. 294 00:14:21,571 --> 00:14:23,539 Elena is gonna get into every Ivy League school 295 00:14:23,540 --> 00:14:27,142 and become the first doctor-lawyer president. 296 00:14:27,143 --> 00:14:29,044 I'm just a dude with a great smile. 297 00:14:29,045 --> 00:14:31,113 Come on, you're good at a lot of stuff. 298 00:14:31,114 --> 00:14:32,614 Not fashion. 299 00:14:32,615 --> 00:14:34,650 I mean, everybody else made a pair of shorts. 300 00:14:34,651 --> 00:14:35,951 I spent the whole class trying to thread 301 00:14:35,952 --> 00:14:37,453 the stupid sewing machine. 302 00:14:37,454 --> 00:14:38,921 I mean, I stabbed my finger with the needle 303 00:14:38,922 --> 00:14:40,823 so many times that I needed stitches, 304 00:14:40,824 --> 00:14:42,491 but I didn't know how to do them. 305 00:14:42,492 --> 00:14:45,994 Baby. 306 00:14:45,995 --> 00:14:51,099 So I figured that, if I'm not gonna be great, 307 00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:53,602 it's better not to do it, right? 308 00:14:53,603 --> 00:14:56,338 No, you got to keep doing it. 309 00:14:56,339 --> 00:14:57,806 But you already said I could quit. 310 00:14:57,807 --> 00:14:59,007 Yeah, that's when I thought you hated it. 311 00:14:59,008 --> 00:15:00,509 But now that I know you love it, 312 00:15:00,510 --> 00:15:03,846 I expect you to work until you're miserable. 313 00:15:03,847 --> 00:15:05,414 You can't be afraid to fail. 314 00:15:05,415 --> 00:15:08,150 What, do you think I'm gonna love you any less 315 00:15:08,151 --> 00:15:09,685 because you're not perfect? 316 00:15:09,686 --> 00:15:13,188 I mean, I'd rather not find out. 317 00:15:13,189 --> 00:15:15,257 Love. 318 00:15:15,258 --> 00:15:16,592 I'm sorry. 319 00:15:16,593 --> 00:15:20,195 I never meant to make you feel that way. 320 00:15:20,196 --> 00:15:23,532 Look at me. 321 00:15:23,533 --> 00:15:26,168 It's okay to be bad at some things. 322 00:15:26,169 --> 00:15:28,103 Dare to suck. 323 00:15:28,104 --> 00:15:30,205 It's the first step to getting good. 324 00:15:30,206 --> 00:15:31,440 And if you love the fashion thing, 325 00:15:31,441 --> 00:15:33,342 you have to keep going back 326 00:15:33,343 --> 00:15:37,312 and not be afraid to be bad at it for awhile. 327 00:15:37,313 --> 00:15:39,214 Because you'll get better. 328 00:15:39,215 --> 00:15:41,016 We're all learning. 329 00:15:41,017 --> 00:15:44,219 It's a process. 330 00:15:44,220 --> 00:15:46,321 Okay. Thanks, Mom. 331 00:15:46,322 --> 00:15:48,991 I'll go back to the class. 332 00:15:48,992 --> 00:15:51,727 What's going on? I heard voices. 333 00:15:51,728 --> 00:15:53,629 Wait. 334 00:15:53,630 --> 00:15:56,065 They're not coming from in here. 335 00:15:59,235 --> 00:16:00,669 Is this fire out? 336 00:16:00,670 --> 00:16:03,872 'Cause mama's got a real inferno over there. 337 00:16:03,873 --> 00:16:06,909 Are you insane? 338 00:16:06,910 --> 00:16:10,379 Peanut butter is not healthier than almond butter. 339 00:16:10,380 --> 00:16:12,814 Tell that to the bees, who work their little fingers to the bone 340 00:16:12,815 --> 00:16:16,385 so that you can have your precious "AB&J." 341 00:16:16,386 --> 00:16:19,421 You want to have a butter fight, let's have a butter fight. 342 00:16:19,422 --> 00:16:21,723 Hey, kids. 343 00:16:21,724 --> 00:16:23,392 Are we ready for the ultrasound? 344 00:16:23,393 --> 00:16:24,726 You "butter" believe it. 345 00:16:24,727 --> 00:16:26,995 Don't you dare. 346 00:16:26,996 --> 00:16:28,430 You're the one who bought almond butter. 347 00:16:28,431 --> 00:16:30,032 I didn't even get a chance to weigh in. 348 00:16:30,033 --> 00:16:31,833 Well, next time, you can do the online shopping. 349 00:16:31,834 --> 00:16:34,470 I'm exhausted. -But... You're exhausted? 350 00:16:36,005 --> 00:16:37,874 There's your baby. 351 00:16:40,076 --> 00:16:42,078 My God. 352 00:16:44,747 --> 00:16:48,283 That's our baby. 353 00:16:48,284 --> 00:16:54,690 It's the most beautiful, tiniest blob I've ever seen. 354 00:16:54,691 --> 00:16:56,458 I'm sorry for everything. 355 00:16:56,459 --> 00:16:58,328 And I'm sorry, too. 356 00:17:00,597 --> 00:17:03,632 Look at you two. 357 00:17:03,633 --> 00:17:06,401 If my marriage had one ounce of this love, 358 00:17:06,402 --> 00:17:10,906 Sophie and I might still just be separated. 359 00:17:10,907 --> 00:17:13,108 To be honest, Dr. B, we've been on edge 360 00:17:13,109 --> 00:17:14,576 since you came over the other day 361 00:17:14,577 --> 00:17:16,912 and told us how kids ruined your marriage. 362 00:17:16,913 --> 00:17:19,414 Yeah. I... 363 00:17:19,415 --> 00:17:21,116 I totally misremembered that. 364 00:17:21,117 --> 00:17:23,151 No, no, no. 365 00:17:23,152 --> 00:17:25,821 Things didn't go downhill after we had kids. 366 00:17:25,822 --> 00:17:30,826 It was after my wife slept with her podiatrist. 367 00:17:30,827 --> 00:17:34,262 Ironically, he swept her off her feet. 368 00:17:34,263 --> 00:17:35,831 What the hell, doc? 369 00:17:35,832 --> 00:17:38,233 We've been fighting all week since you said that. 370 00:17:38,234 --> 00:17:39,968 Well, that's just crazy. 371 00:17:39,969 --> 00:17:42,170 You two are perfect for each other. 372 00:17:42,171 --> 00:17:45,807 And your baby's perfect, too. 373 00:17:45,808 --> 00:17:48,577 Ooh, can you tell whether it's a boy or a girl? 374 00:17:48,578 --> 00:17:51,214 Yes, of course. I'm a doctor. 375 00:18:00,690 --> 00:18:03,358 Sort of did want to know. 376 00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:05,794 Hey, but maybe it'd be fun not to. 377 00:18:05,795 --> 00:18:07,696 You know, I agree. 378 00:18:07,697 --> 00:18:10,932 I'm sorry I got so worked up about Ruckus. 379 00:18:10,933 --> 00:18:12,134 I was such a lonely kid, 380 00:18:12,135 --> 00:18:14,670 I-I would've loved to have a buddy. 381 00:18:14,671 --> 00:18:16,538 Any buddy. 382 00:18:16,539 --> 00:18:19,542 Now you have a buddy... me. 383 00:18:21,077 --> 00:18:25,781 And our baby doesn't need a creepy stuffed companion. 384 00:18:25,782 --> 00:18:28,250 'Cause they'll have us. 385 00:18:33,523 --> 00:18:35,457 We did it. 386 00:18:35,458 --> 00:18:39,061 We get through our first fight. 387 00:18:39,062 --> 00:18:42,030 I can't believe I'm saying this, but thank you, Ruckus? 388 00:18:42,031 --> 00:18:43,799 Yeah. 389 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,569 You know what the best way to thank him might be? 390 00:18:49,505 --> 00:18:51,741 Hey, Penelope, you change your hair? 391 00:18:56,412 --> 00:18:59,047 Ruckus? 392 00:18:59,048 --> 00:19:01,550 "I'm sick. Homesick." 393 00:19:01,551 --> 00:19:04,787 I miss you, too, old fella. 394 00:19:07,304 --> 00:19:09,304 _ 395 00:19:15,031 --> 00:19:17,099 Mami, you think a sign is gonna stop me. 396 00:19:17,100 --> 00:19:19,135 I'm parked in a loading zone right now. 397 00:19:21,738 --> 00:19:24,272 Okay. Class was great. 398 00:19:24,273 --> 00:19:25,941 And... 399 00:19:25,942 --> 00:19:28,443 this one I really made. 400 00:19:28,444 --> 00:19:29,845 It's good. You did good. 401 00:19:29,846 --> 00:19:31,780 You see? This is how you get better. 402 00:19:31,781 --> 00:19:34,449 And I decided, if I cannot be your teacher, 403 00:19:34,450 --> 00:19:36,017 I will be your model. 404 00:19:36,018 --> 00:19:38,053 I already slapped Naomi Campbell, 405 00:19:38,054 --> 00:19:39,889 but that's a story for another time. 406 00:19:44,427 --> 00:19:48,797 Pin a medal on General Gay Stuff. 407 00:19:48,798 --> 00:19:51,099 I finally wrote the perfect college essay. 408 00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:53,468 My adviser said it was the best one she's read in years. 409 00:19:53,469 --> 00:19:55,537 That's amazing, honey. Congratulations. 410 00:19:55,538 --> 00:19:58,807 You see, look at us. We're all killing it. 411 00:19:58,808 --> 00:20:00,709 Although, I'm gonna tell you, Alex, I'm a little bummed 412 00:20:00,710 --> 00:20:02,944 about us not having a quincea�ero. 413 00:20:02,945 --> 00:20:04,412 Mostly because I was really looking forward 414 00:20:04,413 --> 00:20:06,114 to that mother-son dance. 415 00:20:06,115 --> 00:20:07,315 But, um... 416 00:20:10,787 --> 00:20:12,988 Is there one starting now? 417 00:20:12,989 --> 00:20:15,056 Alright. I guess you deserve this. 418 00:20:15,057 --> 00:20:19,161 This and you're gonna make me one of these cool jackets. 419 00:20:22,832 --> 00:20:26,168 Lucky for you, I can also rock a vest. 420 00:20:26,169 --> 00:20:27,502 Lupita. -What? 421 00:20:27,503 --> 00:20:29,839 You are getting a ticket. -Crap. 422 00:20:33,309 --> 00:20:36,845 There is no ticket. 423 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,819 Sync and correction by solfieri www.addic7ed.com 30870

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.