subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for How.to.Build.a.Girl.2019

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified) Download

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal)

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish Download

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,346 --> 00:00:03,348 [film reel rolls] 2 00:00:11,252 --> 00:00:13,737 [instrumental music] 3 00:00:23,368 --> 00:00:25,991 [instrumental music] 4 00:00:35,656 --> 00:00:36,795 [sighs] 5 00:00:41,455 --> 00:00:43,664 I've read every book in this library 6 00:00:43,698 --> 00:00:47,461 but I can't find a story about a girl like me. 7 00:00:47,495 --> 00:00:49,221 Girls in books always have a moment 8 00:00:49,256 --> 00:00:51,258 where everything changes 9 00:00:51,292 --> 00:00:53,777 but my moment still hasn't happened. 10 00:00:53,812 --> 00:00:58,023 Today is like yesterday. Tomorrow never comes. 11 00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,508 I know what usually starts an adventure: 12 00:01:00,543 --> 00:01:02,993 the arrival of a mysterious hero 13 00:01:03,028 --> 00:01:07,274 a Mr. Darcy, a Mr. Rochester, a Rhett Butler 14 00:01:07,308 --> 00:01:09,414 who turns everything upside down. 15 00:01:09,448 --> 00:01:10,691 I am not closed-minded 16 00:01:10,725 --> 00:01:12,624 but finding the romantic hero 17 00:01:12,658 --> 00:01:16,869 of our age in Wolverhampton seems unlikely. 18 00:01:20,010 --> 00:01:22,461 [upbeat music] 19 00:01:35,923 --> 00:01:37,373 [laughing] 20 00:01:43,413 --> 00:01:47,210 ♪ Riding on any wave that is the luck you crave ♪ 21 00:01:47,245 --> 00:01:51,421 ♪ They don't believe it now they just think it's stupid ♪ 22 00:01:51,456 --> 00:01:53,527 ♪ So got anything? 23 00:01:53,561 --> 00:01:55,529 ♪ Anyone could have done 24 00:01:55,563 --> 00:01:58,221 ♪ Who would've cared at all not you ♪ 25 00:01:58,256 --> 00:01:59,809 [laughing] 26 00:01:59,843 --> 00:02:03,951 ♪ Another heart has made the trade ♪ 27 00:02:03,985 --> 00:02:06,850 ♪ Forget it forget it forget it ♪ 28 00:02:06,885 --> 00:02:09,991 ♪ I don't understand how a heart is a spade ♪♪ 29 00:02:10,026 --> 00:02:11,786 [bell ringing] 30 00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:15,307 Ah. 31 00:02:15,963 --> 00:02:17,447 [bell ringing] 32 00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:25,800 No, I do not think my adventure starts with a boy. 33 00:02:25,835 --> 00:02:28,355 I think it starts with me. 34 00:02:28,389 --> 00:02:30,874 [instrumental music] 35 00:02:41,126 --> 00:02:42,541 [dog barking] 36 00:02:43,818 --> 00:02:46,442 Like all great heroes, I have a sidekick 37 00:02:46,476 --> 00:02:48,547 my faithful dog, Bianca. 38 00:02:48,582 --> 00:02:50,653 I also have a plan. 39 00:02:50,687 --> 00:02:52,482 I'm going to be a writer. 40 00:02:52,517 --> 00:02:55,451 What kind of writer? I don't know yet. 41 00:02:55,485 --> 00:02:58,419 The kind that is totally amazing 42 00:02:58,454 --> 00:03:00,387 travels the world, has sex 43 00:03:00,421 --> 00:03:04,253 and writes powerful truths that change people's lives. 44 00:03:04,287 --> 00:03:05,840 Oi! 45 00:03:05,875 --> 00:03:07,117 [yelling] 46 00:03:07,152 --> 00:03:08,257 Go on, fatty! 47 00:03:08,291 --> 00:03:10,431 [clamoring] 48 00:03:14,539 --> 00:03:16,955 Are you a lezzer? Are you a lezzer? 49 00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:20,269 After all, I know the impact a great book can have. 50 00:03:20,303 --> 00:03:21,442 Ow! 51 00:03:21,477 --> 00:03:23,617 [music continues] 52 00:03:24,652 --> 00:03:26,344 I know what you're thinking. 53 00:03:26,378 --> 00:03:27,966 There are a few key differences 54 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,830 between me and your typical heroine. 55 00:03:29,864 --> 00:03:31,797 - You alright, bab? - Hi, Dad. 56 00:03:31,832 --> 00:03:34,559 For starters, I am not a tragic orphan. 57 00:03:35,732 --> 00:03:38,701 I actually have too many brothers. 58 00:03:38,735 --> 00:03:41,151 Four, which is simply excessive. 59 00:03:41,186 --> 00:03:43,706 And then there's my mother's postnatal depression 60 00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:45,397 which you should absolutely expect 61 00:03:45,432 --> 00:03:48,538 if you get pregnant at 38. Ugh. 62 00:03:48,573 --> 00:03:52,232 Unlike Virginia Woolf, I don't even have a room of one's own. 63 00:03:52,266 --> 00:03:55,407 This is Krissi's room with a partition down the middle. 64 00:03:55,442 --> 00:03:57,064 Like Berlin. 65 00:04:03,312 --> 00:04:05,693 But, here, I have everything I need. 66 00:04:05,728 --> 00:04:08,593 Elizabeth Taylor, the Bronte sisters 67 00:04:08,627 --> 00:04:11,285 Donna Summer, Dr. Sigmund Freud. 68 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:15,047 - Good morning, Johanna. - Hey, Brontes. Good times, ja? 69 00:04:15,082 --> 00:04:18,119 I have the love and wise counsel of my God Wall. 70 00:04:18,154 --> 00:04:20,674 What a beautiful day! 71 00:04:20,708 --> 00:04:23,401 I regret to say that despite my best intentions 72 00:04:23,435 --> 00:04:25,541 today has been another miserable one. 73 00:04:25,575 --> 00:04:27,991 Well, missy, I've had plenty of those. 74 00:04:28,026 --> 00:04:31,823 There's nothing a little musical number can't cure. 75 00:04:31,857 --> 00:04:34,584 How much longer am I going to have to be here? 76 00:04:34,619 --> 00:04:36,793 I need something to happen. 77 00:04:36,828 --> 00:04:40,038 I want to burn! I want to explode! 78 00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:42,937 Oh, I want to have sexual intercourse 79 00:04:42,972 --> 00:04:45,354 with someone who has a car. 80 00:04:45,388 --> 00:04:46,941 What's a car? 81 00:04:50,738 --> 00:04:53,016 How do I get there from here? 82 00:04:55,364 --> 00:04:56,744 [knocks] 83 00:04:58,712 --> 00:05:01,059 Come on, repulsive. It's the news. 84 00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:03,303 The real news. Bong. 85 00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:04,614 Top of the Pops. 86 00:05:04,649 --> 00:05:06,133 [dog whining] 87 00:05:06,167 --> 00:05:08,031 Come here, Smudge. 88 00:05:09,378 --> 00:05:11,863 Would the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? 89 00:05:11,897 --> 00:05:14,900 And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry. 90 00:05:18,421 --> 00:05:20,561 [instrumental music] 91 00:05:23,150 --> 00:05:25,808 - Who are these? - Happy Mondays. 92 00:05:25,842 --> 00:05:28,120 I'm putting 'em on the front cover of the "Fanzine." 93 00:05:28,155 --> 00:05:30,330 Do you know nothing of popular culture, Johanna? 94 00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:32,539 Fuck me. I could do better than this lot. 95 00:05:32,573 --> 00:05:34,748 They look like a bunch of brickies. 96 00:05:34,782 --> 00:05:37,337 Where's a nice poofy spaceman when you need one? 97 00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:40,581 - I miss Bowie. - How are you feeling, mum? 98 00:05:40,616 --> 00:05:42,894 - I'm becoming evil. - Nice one, bab. 99 00:05:42,928 --> 00:05:46,104 I'd kill for 20 minutes' sleep. 100 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:48,071 I'd kill the last panda on Earth. 101 00:05:48,106 --> 00:05:51,627 I'd cuddle up in its furry corpse for a bit of shuteye. 102 00:05:51,661 --> 00:05:53,836 You've still got those sexy eyes, though, love. 103 00:05:53,870 --> 00:05:55,424 Still can't sit down, huh? 104 00:05:55,458 --> 00:05:58,358 Oh, God, it's like the Joker's smile down there. 105 00:05:58,392 --> 00:05:59,635 Ah, take your coat off. 106 00:05:59,669 --> 00:06:01,119 You won't feel the benefit, cocker. 107 00:06:01,153 --> 00:06:03,984 Oh, Pat, it took half a tit to get him off. 108 00:06:04,018 --> 00:06:06,020 This is ecstasy funk, dad. 109 00:06:06,055 --> 00:06:09,092 I can't stand it when amateurs take over from proper jazzers. 110 00:06:09,127 --> 00:06:11,509 They've crossed the cultural picket line, this lot. 111 00:06:11,543 --> 00:06:13,614 - Scabs! Scabs! - Dad, shush. 112 00:06:13,649 --> 00:06:14,960 I'm trying to hear. 113 00:06:14,995 --> 00:06:16,721 I just wanna get back in the game, love 114 00:06:16,755 --> 00:06:18,101 back on top. 115 00:06:18,136 --> 00:06:20,138 For I'm the bastard son of Brendan Behan 116 00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:22,520 and one day, these fuckers will all bow down to me. 117 00:06:22,554 --> 00:06:24,107 To me, yes, yes. 118 00:06:24,142 --> 00:06:25,246 Johanna Morrigan.. 119 00:06:25,281 --> 00:06:26,696 [groans] 120 00:06:26,731 --> 00:06:29,872 - Ovulate quietly. - No, no, I've been chosen! 121 00:06:29,906 --> 00:06:31,805 - What? - Listen! Listen! 122 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:34,911 Our young poet of the Midlands finalists. 123 00:06:34,946 --> 00:06:37,914 - Tomorrow has come. - Are you going to be on telly? 124 00:06:37,949 --> 00:06:40,745 - From your writing? - Birmingham? 125 00:06:40,779 --> 00:06:42,609 It's gonna be at least a tenner in petrol. 126 00:06:42,643 --> 00:06:44,058 What am I going to wear? 127 00:06:44,093 --> 00:06:46,544 Krissi, turn that fire off. We're broke. 128 00:06:46,578 --> 00:06:47,993 There's me bloke from Stoke. 129 00:06:48,028 --> 00:06:49,788 Here you are, son, hand him over. 130 00:06:49,823 --> 00:06:51,134 Can we keep him, dad? 131 00:06:51,169 --> 00:06:53,654 No, mate. Hounds for pounds, innit, eh? 132 00:06:53,689 --> 00:06:58,590 - Johanna. - Please, dad. Please! 133 00:06:58,625 --> 00:07:00,765 Yeah. Happy Mondays on the cover 134 00:07:00,799 --> 00:07:04,596 and then a think piece about Riot Grrrl inside.. 135 00:07:04,631 --> 00:07:06,426 This is my turning point, Krissi. 136 00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:09,429 I'm going to get out of here. Become a writer. 137 00:07:09,463 --> 00:07:12,466 And everyone wants to have a date with people who are on TV. 138 00:07:12,501 --> 00:07:13,812 It's just a fact. 139 00:07:13,847 --> 00:07:15,193 For a tenner 140 00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:17,195 I'd probably have a go on Andy Bibby. 141 00:07:17,229 --> 00:07:20,578 Andy Bibby farts on his own hands and throws them at people 142 00:07:20,612 --> 00:07:22,062 shouting "Turtle Power." 143 00:07:22,096 --> 00:07:24,478 Well, we could conduct our relationship downwind. 144 00:07:24,513 --> 00:07:27,481 What about Richard Moseley? He's tall. Value for money. 145 00:07:27,516 --> 00:07:30,622 Richard Moseley once shot a snail with an air rifle. 146 00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:35,316 John Kellog has a good bag. 147 00:07:35,351 --> 00:07:37,457 And so Chaucer was one of the first poets 148 00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:39,148 to use the five-stress line 149 00:07:39,182 --> 00:07:42,841 the decasyllabic cousin to the iambic pentameter 150 00:07:42,876 --> 00:07:44,429 the man who helped standardize Middle English 151 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:47,881 a daring satirist, a protofeminist 152 00:07:47,915 --> 00:07:50,297 and not, as surmised by Lee Bacon 153 00:07:50,331 --> 00:07:51,919 just shit at spelling. 154 00:07:51,954 --> 00:07:53,749 - Oh, nice one. - So.. 155 00:07:53,783 --> 00:07:55,405 [bell ringing] 156 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,373 [indistinct chatter] 157 00:08:02,896 --> 00:08:05,519 - Did you like my essay, Mrs. B? - Mrs. Belling. 158 00:08:05,554 --> 00:08:07,452 It was your best yet, Johanna. 159 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,937 A very entertaining 33 pages. 160 00:08:09,972 --> 00:08:11,525 You're very generous with your words. 161 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,769 Artistic expression is the greatest preventative 162 00:08:13,803 --> 00:08:15,702 for melancholy and morbidity, Mrs. B. 163 00:08:15,736 --> 00:08:19,257 - Mrs. Belling. - My memoir already runs up to 300 pages. 164 00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:22,950 Johanna, you're 16. Have you got many memoir-ies? 165 00:08:22,985 --> 00:08:27,058 Oh, I am blessed with a rich internal life, Mrs. B. 166 00:08:27,092 --> 00:08:29,854 I just write about all the things I imagine I'll do. 167 00:08:29,888 --> 00:08:31,890 The only trouble is I don't know the end yet. 168 00:08:31,925 --> 00:08:33,547 I'm an English teacher. 169 00:08:33,582 --> 00:08:36,032 You need to share that problem with the philosophy department. 170 00:08:37,378 --> 00:08:39,691 Johanna, may I offer you some advice? 171 00:08:39,726 --> 00:08:42,591 Cannon away, full power, Mrs. B. 172 00:08:42,625 --> 00:08:46,595 Mrs. Belling. You need to just rein it in a bit. 173 00:08:46,629 --> 00:08:50,875 All teachers look for a spark. Very few have it. You do. 174 00:08:50,909 --> 00:08:52,566 In fact, right now, you're like Krakatoa. 175 00:08:52,601 --> 00:08:57,433 But I need five pages of GCSE-compliant coursework 176 00:08:57,467 --> 00:08:59,573 not "War and Peace." 177 00:08:59,608 --> 00:09:01,644 The unabridged version. 178 00:09:01,679 --> 00:09:03,819 [instrumental music] 179 00:09:06,994 --> 00:09:09,445 [indistinct chatter] 180 00:09:09,479 --> 00:09:13,138 That's the cool room. I've never been in there. 181 00:09:20,007 --> 00:09:23,493 Get a shift on, babba. It's time for your starring role. 182 00:09:23,528 --> 00:09:26,427 Birmingham New Road will be a circus by 6:00. 183 00:09:28,326 --> 00:09:30,949 What d'you reckon? Nine quid for the lot. 184 00:09:30,984 --> 00:09:33,124 Donny Buddhamere's done us proud, hasn't he? 185 00:09:33,158 --> 00:09:35,851 - We look like a fat Bros. - Nice one. 186 00:09:37,162 --> 00:09:39,061 This jacket is too tight. 187 00:09:39,095 --> 00:09:41,719 I don't think it's made for women. 188 00:09:41,753 --> 00:09:43,513 Oh, you've inherited the Finlayson 189 00:09:43,548 --> 00:09:45,308 women's breasts, Johanna. 190 00:09:45,343 --> 00:09:47,759 We can't be contained by a catalogue bra. 191 00:09:47,794 --> 00:09:49,934 Where's me bloody keys? 192 00:09:49,968 --> 00:09:52,005 Come on, let's go. 193 00:09:52,039 --> 00:09:55,698 ♪ Oh oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh 194 00:09:55,733 --> 00:10:00,151 ♪ Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ooh ♪ 195 00:10:00,185 --> 00:10:02,878 Now, the first lucky linguist to compete... 196 00:10:02,912 --> 00:10:05,639 This is it. My pivotal moment. 197 00:10:05,674 --> 00:10:07,952 Like when the Little Mermaid gets legs. 198 00:10:07,986 --> 00:10:12,542 ...who lists his address as East of Eden, West of Solihull 199 00:10:12,577 --> 00:10:16,098 with his poem, "Brut 66." 200 00:10:16,132 --> 00:10:18,756 I only have three true friends 201 00:10:18,790 --> 00:10:22,483 the moon, my fist and a gun.. 202 00:10:22,518 --> 00:10:25,763 We played this show, you know, back in '78. 203 00:10:25,797 --> 00:10:28,455 They didn't like the lyrics, to "Fuck me till my bladder bursts" 204 00:10:28,489 --> 00:10:31,251 so we did an instrumental in the end. 205 00:10:31,285 --> 00:10:32,701 Classy. 206 00:10:32,735 --> 00:10:34,323 It was our last ever performance. 207 00:10:34,357 --> 00:10:36,118 Spot. Remember your view. 208 00:10:36,152 --> 00:10:37,913 Do you wanna take your coat off, love? 209 00:10:37,947 --> 00:10:39,708 One minute. 210 00:10:39,742 --> 00:10:43,125 I'll stack them, like Tupperware. 211 00:10:45,575 --> 00:10:47,957 No, it's not working. You'll be fine. 212 00:10:49,407 --> 00:10:52,962 - It is dead sweaty out there. - Well done, mate. 213 00:10:54,757 --> 00:10:57,208 Are you alright, love? 214 00:10:57,242 --> 00:11:00,073 Hey, I've got some advice for you, alright? 215 00:11:00,107 --> 00:11:02,592 Key wisdom. Don't ever forget this. 216 00:11:02,627 --> 00:11:06,562 If things ever get lairy, turn the conversation to jazz. 217 00:11:06,596 --> 00:11:08,529 Confuses people. 218 00:11:08,564 --> 00:11:12,637 And get on the hot, bad jazzers, Mingus, Coltrane. 219 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,502 You're on. Go, go. 220 00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,367 Johanna Morrigan 221 00:11:18,401 --> 00:11:20,818 from the Warstones Estate in Wolverhampton. 222 00:11:20,852 --> 00:11:25,788 She says her poem is influenced by her family's unusual business 223 00:11:25,823 --> 00:11:27,928 breeding Border Collie dogs. 224 00:11:27,963 --> 00:11:31,207 - That's right. - I love a collie. 225 00:11:31,242 --> 00:11:34,590 Take it away, Johanna, with our final poem.. 226 00:11:34,624 --> 00:11:36,385 ...about friendship. 227 00:11:44,634 --> 00:11:46,188 Go on. 228 00:11:46,222 --> 00:11:51,331 "My Best Friend by Johanna Morrigan. 229 00:11:54,921 --> 00:11:57,440 "My father sells your babies. 230 00:11:57,475 --> 00:12:00,064 "You howl when you're alone. 231 00:12:00,098 --> 00:12:03,757 "You do not know who your parents are. 232 00:12:03,792 --> 00:12:07,209 "And all you want to do is bone. 233 00:12:07,243 --> 00:12:11,696 "Well, my best friend is Bianca, my dog. 234 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,216 "Despite her mental health seeming fragile 235 00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:18,185 "And when it comes to scaring off assailants, or yobs 236 00:12:18,220 --> 00:12:21,292 "she has proven less than agile. 237 00:12:21,326 --> 00:12:24,122 "You cannot hug me with your paws. 238 00:12:24,157 --> 00:12:27,125 "I know, Bianca. 239 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,956 - I've tried." - Come on, Johanna. 240 00:12:29,990 --> 00:12:33,960 "Dog anatomy lacks rotator cuffs. 241 00:12:33,994 --> 00:12:37,342 "You can't open your forelegs that wide 242 00:12:37,377 --> 00:12:42,209 "but, Bianca, I know you can always hug me. 243 00:12:42,244 --> 00:12:44,867 "You can always hug me 244 00:12:44,902 --> 00:12:47,594 Hug me with your eyes." 245 00:12:49,078 --> 00:12:51,529 I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. 246 00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:53,738 When you know that there's one million people watching 247 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:54,877 it's nerve-racking. 248 00:12:54,912 --> 00:12:56,845 I'm just -- I'm just mad. 249 00:12:56,879 --> 00:12:58,363 Anyway, to be honest, Alan... 250 00:12:58,398 --> 00:13:00,262 - Oh, here she comes. - I'm just... 251 00:13:00,296 --> 00:13:01,608 That's what everyone says. 252 00:13:01,642 --> 00:13:02,782 Just -- just a mad 253 00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:04,162 lonely teenager into dog. 254 00:13:04,197 --> 00:13:07,027 But -- but we, we're like 255 00:13:07,062 --> 00:13:10,134 Sha -- Shaggy and Scooby-Doo. 256 00:13:10,168 --> 00:13:14,103 Best friends forever against the world. 257 00:13:14,138 --> 00:13:18,521 I rove my rog. Everybody roves my rog. 258 00:13:18,556 --> 00:13:22,594 - Let's -- - Scooby! Scooby-Dooby-Doo! 259 00:13:22,629 --> 00:13:24,804 Just as a reminder, later on in the program 260 00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:27,565 we're going to make some groaty cakes with a modern twist 261 00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:29,463 with Cyrille Regis, so don't tune out. 262 00:13:29,498 --> 00:13:31,086 Maybe Johanna would be more comfortable over there 263 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:34,986 while I announce the winner of Young Midlands Poet of the Year 264 00:13:35,021 --> 00:13:36,298 Lee Veltman. 265 00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:39,163 [indistinct chatter] 266 00:13:41,406 --> 00:13:43,029 Okay. 267 00:13:43,063 --> 00:13:45,341 We're gonna keep a tight formation 268 00:13:45,376 --> 00:13:48,482 and you're gonna remember Krissi's crisis mantra. 269 00:13:50,208 --> 00:13:53,177 Everyone can suck a big bag of dicks. 270 00:13:53,211 --> 00:13:55,938 Good girl. Come on. 271 00:13:55,973 --> 00:13:57,526 Maybe no one saw it. 272 00:13:58,907 --> 00:14:00,218 Yeah. 273 00:14:00,943 --> 00:14:02,669 All good so far. 274 00:14:04,809 --> 00:14:07,847 - Here she is. Scooby-Doo! - Yeah, fuck them all. 275 00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:09,469 Scooby-Doo! Scooby-Doo! 276 00:14:09,503 --> 00:14:11,436 [clamoring] 277 00:14:11,471 --> 00:14:14,715 Is your brother Shaggy? Shaggy.. 278 00:14:14,750 --> 00:14:16,372 Scooby-Dooby-Doo! 279 00:14:16,407 --> 00:14:17,442 [laughs] 280 00:14:17,477 --> 00:14:20,204 Go on. Do you want Scooby Snacks? 281 00:14:20,238 --> 00:14:22,723 Here's your Scooby Snacks, eh? 282 00:14:22,758 --> 00:14:24,208 Can I help you, lads? 283 00:14:25,623 --> 00:14:28,384 - Hey, is that Karl Boden? - What about it? 284 00:14:28,419 --> 00:14:31,836 I fucked your mum back in '72. 285 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,356 Give her my regards, won't you? 286 00:14:34,390 --> 00:14:36,220 - Oh, mate. - Come on, let's go. 287 00:14:36,254 --> 00:14:38,498 Go on inside, kids. Tea's ready. 288 00:14:38,532 --> 00:14:41,777 Your mum's busy garnishing the toast with beans. 289 00:14:41,811 --> 00:14:45,160 Pat Morrigan? You have puppies for sale? 290 00:14:45,194 --> 00:14:47,024 I do, yes. Famous pups, as it happens. 291 00:14:47,058 --> 00:14:51,200 Immortalized in poetry on "Today In The Midlands." 292 00:14:51,235 --> 00:14:53,996 I'm from the DSS. 293 00:14:54,031 --> 00:14:55,998 We're investigating allegations you've been illegally claiming 294 00:14:56,033 --> 00:14:59,105 disability benefit whilst breeding Border Collie dogs. 295 00:14:59,139 --> 00:15:00,520 Not me, love. 296 00:15:02,522 --> 00:15:03,523 No. 297 00:15:04,869 --> 00:15:06,215 Rats, though. 298 00:15:06,250 --> 00:15:08,700 We've got a big rat problem around here. 299 00:15:08,735 --> 00:15:11,186 [instrumental music] 300 00:15:20,264 --> 00:15:22,128 I'm so sorry. 301 00:15:25,510 --> 00:15:27,961 Losing the TV is tough 302 00:15:27,996 --> 00:15:31,378 like when Beth dies in "Little Women." 303 00:15:31,413 --> 00:15:35,693 I have become destroyer of the world. 304 00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:38,903 I shall feast only on my misery. 305 00:15:42,769 --> 00:15:44,184 And jam. 306 00:15:45,668 --> 00:15:48,257 What have I done? I've brought ruin upon our family. 307 00:15:48,292 --> 00:15:50,052 I think I'm dying. 308 00:15:50,087 --> 00:15:52,917 You are not dying, Johanna. 309 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,057 This is called anxiety. 310 00:15:55,092 --> 00:15:56,956 Will jam make it better? 311 00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:59,441 No, jam will not make it better. 312 00:15:59,475 --> 00:16:02,547 I'm afraid you will just have to accept this. 313 00:16:02,582 --> 00:16:03,928 The thing is, I don't think 314 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,655 my main problem is anxiety, Mr. Freud. 315 00:16:06,689 --> 00:16:10,762 I just need money. Money for the family. 316 00:16:10,797 --> 00:16:14,456 But I am now a failed artist, and when you're a failed artist 317 00:16:14,490 --> 00:16:17,321 there's only one thing you can do. 318 00:16:17,355 --> 00:16:19,806 - You have to die. - Johanna, no! 319 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:22,878 - No, you must live. - No, you have so much to live for. 320 00:16:22,912 --> 00:16:26,019 Johanna, honey, we need you. 321 00:16:26,054 --> 00:16:27,331 No! Never. 322 00:16:27,365 --> 00:16:30,368 I've got some good tips on how to do it. 323 00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:36,409 - What you doing? - Working out how to die. 324 00:16:36,443 --> 00:16:39,584 - Fair enough. - Ask me why. 325 00:16:41,103 --> 00:16:42,587 I know why. 326 00:16:42,622 --> 00:16:45,452 I'd wanna die too if I'd shamed myself 327 00:16:45,487 --> 00:16:47,385 plunged my whole family into poverty. 328 00:16:47,420 --> 00:16:51,044 It's fair enough. I would have advised it myself. 329 00:16:51,079 --> 00:16:55,152 Maybe I'll commit the ultimate sacrifice, cut my hair off 330 00:16:55,186 --> 00:16:57,016 like Jo March, sell it. 331 00:16:57,050 --> 00:17:00,502 I'm not sure cash converters have a hair department, Johanna. 332 00:17:02,331 --> 00:17:03,746 [sniffles] 333 00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:07,854 Stop moping. 334 00:17:07,888 --> 00:17:11,271 Try this. They're looking for writers. 335 00:17:11,306 --> 00:17:13,515 It's a competition to be a rock critic. 336 00:17:15,103 --> 00:17:17,243 You might wanna give your poetry a break. 337 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,453 "Live and breathe music? 338 00:17:20,487 --> 00:17:23,076 "D-and-ME are hiring hip young gunslingers. 339 00:17:23,111 --> 00:17:24,836 Show us what you've got." 340 00:17:24,871 --> 00:17:27,494 I am none of those things. You should do this. 341 00:17:27,529 --> 00:17:29,703 I'm not a corporate sell-out whore. 342 00:17:29,738 --> 00:17:32,361 Those guys only write about what they think is cool. 343 00:17:32,396 --> 00:17:33,914 I write about what I love. 344 00:17:33,949 --> 00:17:36,607 It just happens that everything I love is cool. 345 00:17:36,641 --> 00:17:40,024 A ten-year-old could be a rock critic. 346 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:43,545 Now I just need some modern rock to critic. 347 00:17:46,996 --> 00:17:48,619 Touch that and die. 348 00:18:00,458 --> 00:18:02,909 [instrumental music] 349 00:18:02,943 --> 00:18:04,255 [Krissi laughing] 350 00:18:04,290 --> 00:18:05,912 - My God. - This is a classic. 351 00:18:05,946 --> 00:18:09,674 ♪ The sun'll come out tomorrow ♪ 352 00:18:09,709 --> 00:18:14,507 ♪ Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow ♪ 353 00:18:14,541 --> 00:18:16,612 ♪ There'll be sun 354 00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:21,962 ♪ Just thinking about tomorrow ♪ 355 00:18:21,997 --> 00:18:24,758 ♪ Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow.. ♪ 356 00:18:24,793 --> 00:18:25,966 Hey. 357 00:18:26,001 --> 00:18:28,210 Emily and Charlotte Bronte shared quills. 358 00:18:28,245 --> 00:18:30,454 Yeah, well, I want it back by 5:00. 359 00:18:30,488 --> 00:18:33,319 - And you are so Anne. - Don't start that again. 360 00:18:33,353 --> 00:18:35,528 ♪ And lonely 361 00:18:35,562 --> 00:18:37,737 ♪ I just stick out my chin 362 00:18:37,771 --> 00:18:42,673 ♪ And grin and say 363 00:18:42,707 --> 00:18:48,920 ♪ Oh the sun'll come out tomorrow ♪ 364 00:18:48,955 --> 00:18:53,718 ♪ So you gotta hang on till tomorrow ♪ 365 00:18:53,753 --> 00:18:57,239 ♪ Come what may 366 00:18:57,274 --> 00:19:00,277 ♪ Tomorrow tomorrow 367 00:19:00,311 --> 00:19:02,934 ♪ I love ya tomorrow 368 00:19:02,969 --> 00:19:08,906 ♪ You're always a day away 369 00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:14,325 ♪ When I'm stuck with a day that's grey and lonely ♪ 370 00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:21,332 ♪ I just stick out my chin and grin and say ♪ 371 00:19:21,367 --> 00:19:23,334 ♪ Oh.. 372 00:19:23,369 --> 00:19:25,336 [all gasping] 373 00:19:27,027 --> 00:19:28,822 That's disgusting. 374 00:19:37,383 --> 00:19:39,039 Are you dying? 375 00:19:40,144 --> 00:19:41,110 No. 376 00:19:42,146 --> 00:19:43,906 This is a period, Lupin. 377 00:19:43,941 --> 00:19:47,289 It is why women have been oppressed throughout history. 378 00:19:47,324 --> 00:19:48,842 Till the twin-tub was invented 379 00:19:48,877 --> 00:19:52,501 we were too busy scrubbing to agitate for the vote. 380 00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:55,918 Will I get a period? 381 00:19:58,956 --> 00:19:59,957 Yes. 382 00:19:59,991 --> 00:20:00,958 [gasps] 383 00:20:03,271 --> 00:20:04,582 Johanna. 384 00:20:11,037 --> 00:20:12,141 Hello? 385 00:20:16,353 --> 00:20:17,768 Interview. 386 00:20:18,907 --> 00:20:21,427 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 387 00:20:23,912 --> 00:20:27,260 ♪ The sun'll come out tomorrow ♪ 388 00:20:27,295 --> 00:20:32,196 ♪ So you gotta hang on 'til tomorrow ♪ 389 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:35,372 ♪ Come what may 390 00:20:35,406 --> 00:20:38,271 ♪ Tomorrow tomorrow 391 00:20:38,306 --> 00:20:40,825 ♪ I love ya tomorrow 392 00:20:40,860 --> 00:20:45,589 ♪ You're always a day away 393 00:20:45,623 --> 00:20:49,558 ♪ Tomorrow tomorrow 394 00:20:49,593 --> 00:20:52,285 ♪ I love ya tomorrow 395 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:55,150 ♪ You're always 396 00:20:55,184 --> 00:20:59,258 ♪ A day 397 00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:02,088 [instrumental music] 398 00:21:04,780 --> 00:21:11,891 ♪ Away ♪ 399 00:21:18,104 --> 00:21:20,555 [rock music on stereo] 400 00:21:33,326 --> 00:21:35,259 [indistinct chatter] 401 00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:40,747 I know Prince is short 402 00:21:40,782 --> 00:21:43,198 but you've made him look like a sex case Oompa Loompa. 403 00:21:43,232 --> 00:21:44,924 Tell him to take off his top or something. 404 00:21:44,958 --> 00:21:47,202 Enbiggen him, if necessary. 405 00:21:47,236 --> 00:21:49,480 [indistinct chatter] 406 00:21:53,208 --> 00:21:55,624 Oh, Just Seventeen's on the 23rd floor, love. 407 00:21:56,556 --> 00:21:59,283 Thank you, but no. 408 00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:03,632 I'm Johanna Morrigan. I have an interview for the job. 409 00:22:03,667 --> 00:22:06,048 Hot young gunslinger. 410 00:22:06,083 --> 00:22:07,636 Fucking hell. 411 00:22:07,671 --> 00:22:11,433 Right, there goes a tenner. Andy, you win. 412 00:22:11,468 --> 00:22:14,091 - Sorry, we didn't think you were real, love. - What? 413 00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:17,439 Well, a 16-year-old girl reviewing the soundtrack to Annie? 414 00:22:17,474 --> 00:22:21,029 We just thought it was the dicks at NME winding us up. 415 00:22:21,063 --> 00:22:23,272 But did you think my writing was good? 416 00:22:23,307 --> 00:22:25,136 Yeah, it was funny. 417 00:22:25,171 --> 00:22:28,277 It made us laugh. But it's not really us. 418 00:22:29,589 --> 00:22:31,971 - So I go? - I guess. 419 00:22:33,455 --> 00:22:34,629 Here. 420 00:22:35,802 --> 00:22:37,873 You've come a long way. 421 00:22:37,908 --> 00:22:39,634 Have a free T-shirt. 422 00:22:44,639 --> 00:22:46,192 Thank you. 423 00:22:49,851 --> 00:22:52,578 [toilet flushing] 424 00:23:00,137 --> 00:23:04,417 I was right the first time. I'm not cool. 425 00:23:04,452 --> 00:23:06,557 I should just die. 426 00:23:12,218 --> 00:23:15,635 Do you know what cool people are, Johanna? 427 00:23:17,982 --> 00:23:21,400 Cool, like the people in that room? 428 00:23:21,434 --> 00:23:25,231 Cool people are the worst. 429 00:23:25,265 --> 00:23:29,097 They don't dance, they wear uncomfortable little trousers 430 00:23:29,131 --> 00:23:32,272 and they're constantly misquoting Kerouac. 431 00:23:32,307 --> 00:23:35,172 Have you read "On The Road," Johanna? 432 00:23:35,206 --> 00:23:40,246 Don't bother. It is a very long book about a man getting a lift. 433 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:43,387 Do you know what a good book is? 434 00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:45,285 "Little House on the Prairie." 435 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:49,531 She makes her own knickers, and her dad shoots a bear. 436 00:23:49,566 --> 00:23:51,119 That's a story. 437 00:23:52,948 --> 00:23:55,779 Come on, give your face a rinse 438 00:23:55,813 --> 00:23:58,195 and dance back into that room. 439 00:23:58,229 --> 00:24:00,093 I'm too scared. 440 00:24:00,128 --> 00:24:01,440 Scared? 441 00:24:01,474 --> 00:24:05,858 Darling, rooms like that need girls like you. 442 00:24:07,791 --> 00:24:11,864 This is why you are magic. 443 00:24:20,873 --> 00:24:23,358 [upbeat music] 444 00:24:28,294 --> 00:24:29,916 Look. Look! 445 00:24:29,951 --> 00:24:31,262 I might not know much about 446 00:24:31,297 --> 00:24:34,680 your Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine 447 00:24:34,714 --> 00:24:39,374 or your Sultans of Ping FC, or your fire drill next Tuesday 448 00:24:39,408 --> 00:24:42,101 but if you think I'm funny and I can write 449 00:24:42,135 --> 00:24:44,310 then -- then it can't be harder to learn about 450 00:24:44,344 --> 00:24:45,380 than the periodic table 451 00:24:45,414 --> 00:24:48,383 and I got a 98 percent on that test. 452 00:24:48,417 --> 00:24:50,523 I only failed on Kr. 453 00:24:50,558 --> 00:24:52,560 Krypton is my kryptonite. 454 00:24:52,594 --> 00:24:57,565 I -- I could improvise, like the hot, bad jazzers. 455 00:24:57,599 --> 00:25:00,084 Coltrane and Mingus. 456 00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:02,052 Give her the Manic Street Preachers. 457 00:25:02,086 --> 00:25:04,226 You're doing the Manics, Tony. 458 00:25:06,435 --> 00:25:09,611 I have just scalped Morrissey. I'm exhausted from the kill. 459 00:25:09,646 --> 00:25:11,095 I need to rest in the shade. 460 00:25:11,130 --> 00:25:12,511 Besides, you didn't tell me 461 00:25:12,545 --> 00:25:15,272 the Manics were in Birmingham. 462 00:25:15,306 --> 00:25:18,793 I'm not really feeling regional right now. 463 00:25:18,827 --> 00:25:20,208 Try her. 464 00:25:22,900 --> 00:25:25,765 Well, fuck it. Yeah, trial run. 465 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:27,595 Johanna, you get to make first contact 466 00:25:27,629 --> 00:25:28,941 with the demented Welshmen. 467 00:25:28,975 --> 00:25:30,908 Man the barricades for us, yeah? 468 00:25:30,943 --> 00:25:34,049 Leaping lizards! 469 00:25:34,084 --> 00:25:35,292 Okay. 470 00:25:37,190 --> 00:25:38,260 What? 471 00:25:38,295 --> 00:25:40,573 Are you in fact being Annie right now? 472 00:25:40,608 --> 00:25:41,850 Yes, sir. 473 00:25:41,885 --> 00:25:44,646 Enjoy the munificent ten-P per word. 474 00:25:44,681 --> 00:25:46,752 I will. 475 00:25:46,786 --> 00:25:48,857 I'm much obliged to you, sir. 476 00:25:49,996 --> 00:25:51,411 I'll remember that. 477 00:26:01,490 --> 00:26:03,492 I have nothing to wear. 478 00:26:03,527 --> 00:26:05,425 That is not factually correct. 479 00:26:06,979 --> 00:26:10,016 Nothing to wear for who I need to be. 480 00:26:11,259 --> 00:26:14,158 The best item of clothing I own is my hair. 481 00:26:19,336 --> 00:26:21,441 Is my hair. 482 00:26:21,476 --> 00:26:22,719 [laughs] 483 00:26:22,753 --> 00:26:24,790 You look like Captain Caveman. 484 00:26:26,792 --> 00:26:27,965 Krissi. 485 00:26:28,725 --> 00:26:30,554 Absolutely not. 486 00:26:32,660 --> 00:26:35,110 [upbeat music] 487 00:26:36,491 --> 00:26:38,769 I've been saving that for three years. 488 00:26:39,701 --> 00:26:42,566 This is nine pounds forty-eight. 489 00:26:42,601 --> 00:26:45,017 Yeah, well, the Fanzine has a lot of overheads. 490 00:26:45,051 --> 00:26:47,122 Revolutionary independence is costly. 491 00:26:47,157 --> 00:26:51,161 That's okay. I can totally transform myself for nine pounds forty-eight. 492 00:26:51,195 --> 00:26:53,819 Hmm. 493 00:26:53,853 --> 00:26:57,443 ♪ That girl thinks she's the queen of the neighborhood ♪ 494 00:26:57,477 --> 00:27:01,240 ♪ She's got the hottest strike in town ♪ 495 00:27:01,274 --> 00:27:04,484 ♪ That girl she holds her head up so high ♪ 496 00:27:04,519 --> 00:27:08,178 ♪ I think I wanna be her best friend yeah ♪ 497 00:27:08,212 --> 00:27:11,491 ♪ Rebel girl rebel girl 498 00:27:11,526 --> 00:27:15,219 ♪ Rebel girl you are the queen of my world ♪ 499 00:27:15,254 --> 00:27:16,980 ♪ Rebel girl rebel girl 500 00:27:17,014 --> 00:27:18,360 I need this. 501 00:27:18,395 --> 00:27:20,017 ♪ I think I wanna take you home ♪ 502 00:27:20,052 --> 00:27:22,848 ♪ I wanna try on your clothes uh ♪ 503 00:27:22,882 --> 00:27:25,367 [music continues] 504 00:27:35,930 --> 00:27:37,276 ♪ Uh 505 00:27:39,865 --> 00:27:43,282 ♪ Rebel girl rebel girl 506 00:27:43,316 --> 00:27:47,010 ♪ Rebel girl you are the queen of my world ♪ 507 00:27:47,044 --> 00:27:50,496 Observe the world's greatest eyeliner. 508 00:27:50,530 --> 00:27:51,842 ♪ I know I wanna take you home ♪ 509 00:27:51,877 --> 00:27:53,326 ♪ I wanna try on your clothes 510 00:27:53,361 --> 00:27:57,089 ♪ My rebel girl ♪ 511 00:28:00,955 --> 00:28:03,129 Good God, it's the Child Catcher. 512 00:28:03,164 --> 00:28:05,925 No. Johanna Morrigan is dead. 513 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,515 This, this is the legendary Dolly Wilde. 514 00:28:10,792 --> 00:28:12,069 MegaN. 515 00:28:15,417 --> 00:28:17,350 You never forget your first gig, bab. 516 00:28:17,385 --> 00:28:19,076 It's like your first kick in the balls. 517 00:28:19,111 --> 00:28:21,147 Changes your life. 518 00:28:21,182 --> 00:28:22,804 Now get your ears around my remix. 519 00:28:22,839 --> 00:28:24,944 Your dad's gone up a level. 520 00:28:24,979 --> 00:28:27,222 ♪ Can anybody hear me? ♪ 521 00:28:27,257 --> 00:28:30,053 Do you like this one? I've done it rave style. 522 00:28:30,087 --> 00:28:32,572 I'm on one, love. And I'm back. 523 00:28:32,607 --> 00:28:36,404 Next Live Aid, I'm getting the Phil Collins slot, both of them. 524 00:28:36,438 --> 00:28:39,614 No, fuck it, three. I'll do Africa and all. 525 00:28:39,648 --> 00:28:41,823 ♪ Day-O! ♪ 526 00:28:41,858 --> 00:28:43,445 Too right. 527 00:28:45,102 --> 00:28:47,760 [laughing] 528 00:28:47,795 --> 00:28:49,935 For I'm the bastard son of Brendan Behan 529 00:28:49,969 --> 00:28:52,696 and one day these fuckers will all bow down to me. 530 00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:54,422 Whoo! 531 00:28:59,841 --> 00:29:03,500 Look at that. The Midlands. 532 00:29:03,534 --> 00:29:05,295 When I was your age, the only thing we cared about 533 00:29:05,329 --> 00:29:06,952 was how to escape. 534 00:29:06,986 --> 00:29:08,263 So, you either become a boxer 535 00:29:08,298 --> 00:29:10,956 a footballer or a pop star. 536 00:29:10,990 --> 00:29:12,474 It's the only way. 537 00:29:13,752 --> 00:29:16,582 Obviously, I chose pop star. 538 00:29:16,616 --> 00:29:21,690 But you...you've got your writing, bab. 539 00:29:21,725 --> 00:29:23,382 You've found a new way. 540 00:29:23,416 --> 00:29:24,555 I know. 541 00:29:25,833 --> 00:29:30,147 I meant for me, like. Get me in the papers. 542 00:29:32,011 --> 00:29:34,324 I know what to do this time around. 543 00:29:34,358 --> 00:29:36,705 First time around I was a right twat. 544 00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:41,055 I'm ready for it now. 545 00:29:41,089 --> 00:29:44,058 The songs are ready. They're all killer. 546 00:29:44,092 --> 00:29:46,267 You'll know when it's the right time. 547 00:29:48,269 --> 00:29:50,996 [indistinct chatter] 548 00:29:58,037 --> 00:30:01,696 Yeah, hey, hey! Access all areas. Come on. 549 00:30:01,730 --> 00:30:04,181 [upbeat music] 550 00:30:08,807 --> 00:30:12,500 ♪ Check the new ride out it's alright ♪ 551 00:30:12,534 --> 00:30:14,674 ♪ Silence ain't in season ♪ 552 00:30:14,709 --> 00:30:16,987 - What are your expenses like? - Ah.. 553 00:30:17,022 --> 00:30:20,577 Can I get a pint of Guinness, please, and a whisky chaser? 554 00:30:20,611 --> 00:30:23,718 If only we were in Dublin, eh? Get a proper pint. 555 00:30:25,133 --> 00:30:26,583 Good evening. 556 00:30:26,617 --> 00:30:29,068 You alright, Birmingham? Good to be back. 557 00:30:29,103 --> 00:30:31,864 Manic Street Preachers by Dolly Wilde. 558 00:30:31,899 --> 00:30:36,317 April 8th, Edwards No. 8, Digbeth, Birmingham 559 00:30:36,351 --> 00:30:39,803 West Midlands, United Kingdom, The World, Milky Way. 560 00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:43,324 We come from urban hell, and we destroy rock 'n' roll. 561 00:30:44,946 --> 00:30:47,500 [rock music] 562 00:30:56,751 --> 00:31:02,515 ♪ We are not your sinners our voices are for real ♪ 563 00:31:02,550 --> 00:31:05,311 ♪ We realized and we won't be mourned ♪ 564 00:31:05,346 --> 00:31:08,038 ♪ We're gonna burn your death mask uniforms ♪ 565 00:31:08,073 --> 00:31:13,872 ♪ We won't die of devotion understand we can never belong ♪ 566 00:31:13,906 --> 00:31:16,046 ♪ Thrown some acid into your face ♪ 567 00:31:16,081 --> 00:31:19,705 ♪ Pollute your mineral water with a strychnine taste ♪ 568 00:31:20,948 --> 00:31:22,363 ♪ You 569 00:31:23,536 --> 00:31:24,848 ♪ Love 570 00:31:26,608 --> 00:31:27,747 ♪ Us 571 00:31:27,782 --> 00:31:29,197 ♪ You love us 572 00:31:29,232 --> 00:31:30,681 ♪ You love us 573 00:31:30,716 --> 00:31:32,373 ♪ You love 574 00:31:32,407 --> 00:31:34,513 ♪ You love us 575 00:31:34,547 --> 00:31:37,654 ♪ Oh you love us 576 00:31:37,688 --> 00:31:39,104 ♪ You love us 577 00:31:39,138 --> 00:31:41,830 ♪ You love us you love us ♪ 578 00:31:49,217 --> 00:31:52,634 ♪ Until I see love in statues your lessons.. ♪ 579 00:31:54,740 --> 00:31:57,743 ♪ Parliament's a fake life saver ♪ 580 00:31:57,777 --> 00:32:01,264 ♪ You better wake up and smell the real flavor.. ♪♪ 581 00:32:04,853 --> 00:32:06,234 "At 9:00 p.m. last night 582 00:32:06,269 --> 00:32:07,926 "rock and roll meant nothing to me. 583 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:12,171 By midnight, it was the most important thing in the world." 584 00:32:14,035 --> 00:32:15,416 [sighs] 585 00:32:24,011 --> 00:32:25,495 Yow gonna buy that? 586 00:32:27,048 --> 00:32:28,636 You gonna buy that? 587 00:32:29,740 --> 00:32:31,950 I'm a newsagent's, not a library. 588 00:32:31,984 --> 00:32:33,917 Look, Mr. S. I'm a byline. 589 00:32:33,952 --> 00:32:36,368 I'm hearing the word buy and I'm liking it. 590 00:32:36,402 --> 00:32:39,336 I've got your dad's bill here, 27.48. 591 00:32:39,371 --> 00:32:41,787 Dad has a bill here? 592 00:32:41,821 --> 00:32:43,789 Yeah. 593 00:32:43,823 --> 00:32:46,274 Charge them to the account, Mr. S. 594 00:32:46,309 --> 00:32:47,827 I'm a rock critic now. 595 00:32:47,862 --> 00:32:51,762 I come from urban hell and I describe rock and roll. 596 00:32:51,797 --> 00:32:54,248 [instrumental music] 597 00:33:01,910 --> 00:33:04,154 Edward's No. 8. 598 00:33:04,189 --> 00:33:06,156 Bath Moles. 599 00:33:06,191 --> 00:33:08,814 Rayleigh Pink Toothbrush. 600 00:33:08,848 --> 00:33:10,091 Derby Warehouse. 601 00:33:10,126 --> 00:33:11,127 Wilde. 602 00:33:11,161 --> 00:33:13,405 Windsor Old Trout. 603 00:33:13,439 --> 00:33:16,132 King Tut's Wah Wah Hut. 604 00:33:16,166 --> 00:33:17,685 Dudley JB's. 605 00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,413 For when the house is too small 606 00:33:21,447 --> 00:33:23,035 and your bones itch to dance 607 00:33:23,070 --> 00:33:25,313 and you pretend the dry ice is getting you high 608 00:33:25,348 --> 00:33:28,247 and it doesn't feel right until your clothes cling to you 609 00:33:28,282 --> 00:33:29,766 with sweat. 610 00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:31,423 These are the places you come 611 00:33:31,457 --> 00:33:33,390 where you can dance and scream 612 00:33:33,425 --> 00:33:35,185 and be with your own kind 613 00:33:35,220 --> 00:33:37,670 and where everything is possible. 614 00:33:37,705 --> 00:33:40,777 ♪ I'm movin' on up now ♪ 615 00:33:43,021 --> 00:33:45,575 - See you later. - Bye. 616 00:33:45,609 --> 00:33:47,715 - Love you! - We love you! 617 00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:02,626 [sighs] 618 00:34:17,710 --> 00:34:19,643 [alarm beeping] 619 00:34:24,165 --> 00:34:27,272 Wake up, Fucko. School. 620 00:34:27,306 --> 00:34:30,378 ♪ My light shines on 621 00:34:32,622 --> 00:34:33,968 ♪ My light shines on 622 00:34:34,002 --> 00:34:35,452 Come on. 623 00:34:35,487 --> 00:34:37,178 Yeah, shut up. 624 00:34:37,213 --> 00:34:41,355 So this is Dolly Wilde, from D-and-ME. 625 00:34:41,389 --> 00:34:42,804 My sister. 626 00:34:42,839 --> 00:34:44,012 There you go. 627 00:34:44,047 --> 00:34:46,774 ♪ ...shines on 628 00:34:46,808 --> 00:34:49,432 ♪ I'm getting out of the darkness ♪ 629 00:34:49,466 --> 00:34:51,882 ♪ My light shines on 630 00:34:51,917 --> 00:34:54,437 ♪ I'm getting out of the darkness ♪ 631 00:34:54,471 --> 00:34:56,749 ♪ My light shines on 632 00:34:56,784 --> 00:34:59,511 ♪ I'm getting out of the darkness ♪ 633 00:34:59,545 --> 00:35:02,652 ♪ My light shines on ♪ 634 00:35:02,686 --> 00:35:04,585 - Nice one. Come on. - There. 635 00:35:04,619 --> 00:35:07,346 - Let's have a look. - Lu. 636 00:35:07,381 --> 00:35:09,072 I think that's for you, love. 637 00:35:09,107 --> 00:35:12,489 And this one's yours. Krissi. 638 00:35:12,524 --> 00:35:13,973 Dad, have you got rice? 639 00:35:14,008 --> 00:35:15,320 [doorbell rings] 640 00:35:15,354 --> 00:35:16,597 Dad. 641 00:35:16,631 --> 00:35:18,806 You've taken the last chow mein, son. 642 00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:21,567 - I've been left with rice. - I love chicken chow mein. 643 00:35:21,602 --> 00:35:23,914 Johanna, are these twats for you? 644 00:35:25,916 --> 00:35:28,816 - Are you girl from D-and-ME? - I am she. 645 00:35:28,850 --> 00:35:33,027 These are the Strange Cages from Bilston. 646 00:35:33,061 --> 00:35:36,444 So sorry about that. Pat, will you deal with this? 647 00:35:36,479 --> 00:35:37,859 Yeah, come on in, lads. Nice one. 648 00:35:37,894 --> 00:35:39,378 Nice to meet you. Yeah, yeah. 649 00:35:39,413 --> 00:35:40,828 - You the bass player? - Yeah. 650 00:35:40,862 --> 00:35:42,312 You'd be better off over here, mate. 651 00:35:42,347 --> 00:35:44,176 A nice bit of separation there, yeah. 652 00:35:44,211 --> 00:35:46,730 It's not quite what I meant. 653 00:35:46,765 --> 00:35:48,870 This isn't the friggin' commitments. 654 00:35:48,905 --> 00:35:51,908 So first up is a song about unrequited love. 655 00:35:51,942 --> 00:35:55,567 It's called "Annabelle, My Bloodied Heart." 656 00:35:55,601 --> 00:35:58,086 [upbeat music] 657 00:35:58,121 --> 00:35:59,847 You'd have a better chance with Annabella 658 00:35:59,881 --> 00:36:02,436 if you gave your hair a wash, love. 659 00:36:03,368 --> 00:36:04,921 ♪ That's when you know 660 00:36:04,955 --> 00:36:07,613 ♪ Whoa! 661 00:36:07,648 --> 00:36:08,787 Hold on a minute, lads. 662 00:36:08,821 --> 00:36:11,203 Lads, just -- just stop you there. 663 00:36:11,238 --> 00:36:12,929 - You're lagging a bit on the drums. - What the hell -- 664 00:36:12,963 --> 00:36:15,034 You are, yeah. You're not keeping time right. 665 00:36:15,069 --> 00:36:16,760 Come here, just step aside. Let me have a little go. 666 00:36:16,795 --> 00:36:18,762 Come here. I'll show you a few little tricks here. 667 00:36:18,797 --> 00:36:21,420 I'll show you a bit of rock 'n' roll. Are you ready? 668 00:36:21,455 --> 00:36:23,698 One, two, three, four. 669 00:36:23,733 --> 00:36:27,392 ♪ I see the cracks they start to show ♪ 670 00:36:27,426 --> 00:36:31,085 ♪ That's when you need it that's when you know ♪ 671 00:36:31,119 --> 00:36:34,882 ♪ Whoa! 672 00:36:34,916 --> 00:36:38,713 ♪ I kick old habits they bring it out ♪ 673 00:36:38,748 --> 00:36:42,441 ♪ They leave you something to figure out ♪ 674 00:36:42,476 --> 00:36:43,477 ♪ Whoa! ♪ 675 00:36:43,511 --> 00:36:44,857 Where are you going? 676 00:36:44,892 --> 00:36:46,445 What are we supposed to do with that lot? 677 00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:48,413 Dolly Wilde's on the move, like Aslan. 678 00:36:48,447 --> 00:36:50,311 Right, well, it's Johanna Morrigan's turn 679 00:36:50,346 --> 00:36:51,899 to clean out the deep-fat fryer. 680 00:36:51,933 --> 00:36:54,419 This bitch be paying rent, Krissi. 681 00:36:57,111 --> 00:36:59,458 You're not friggin' Superman, you know. 682 00:36:59,493 --> 00:37:02,012 You're just a girl in a hat typing jangly. 683 00:37:03,945 --> 00:37:06,396 [upbeat music] 684 00:37:09,434 --> 00:37:14,197 - Alright, come on. Story. - Oh, yeah. 685 00:37:14,232 --> 00:37:15,647 Drink? 686 00:37:15,681 --> 00:37:18,477 No, thank you, sir. I'm high on mere life. 687 00:37:18,512 --> 00:37:20,721 I OD'd on life once. 688 00:37:20,755 --> 00:37:25,277 Someone blew life right up my arse. 689 00:37:25,312 --> 00:37:30,282 So, how is life in the world of the hot child genius? 690 00:37:30,317 --> 00:37:33,354 I love the new look, by the way. 691 00:37:33,389 --> 00:37:35,391 Very wild, Ms. Wilde. 692 00:37:35,425 --> 00:37:39,084 Thank you, sir. Life is frustrating. 693 00:37:39,118 --> 00:37:41,845 Oh, I hate to hear about a woman being frustrated. 694 00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:44,331 I don't seem to be progressing as I thought I would. 695 00:37:44,365 --> 00:37:45,642 I want bigger things. 696 00:37:45,677 --> 00:37:47,782 Well, in my experience 697 00:37:47,817 --> 00:37:51,165 the world welcomes women who ask for big things. 698 00:37:51,199 --> 00:37:52,649 So I should just ask? 699 00:37:52,684 --> 00:37:55,169 Ask and it will be given. 700 00:37:57,033 --> 00:38:00,208 I'm telling you. It is, it has to be. 701 00:38:00,243 --> 00:38:01,693 It has to be. Kenny, trust me. 702 00:38:01,727 --> 00:38:04,799 Kenny, sir, may I ask you a question? 703 00:38:04,834 --> 00:38:09,114 - Fire away. - Can I write a feature, please? 704 00:38:09,148 --> 00:38:12,048 - A feature? - I want to interview someone. 705 00:38:12,082 --> 00:38:15,085 Let me interview someone. I like bands. They're friendly. 706 00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:17,191 To you, my darling, of course they are. 707 00:38:17,225 --> 00:38:19,642 Talk to Derby about features, alright? 708 00:38:21,368 --> 00:38:25,786 Sir, I think I'm ready to take on more responsibilities 709 00:38:25,820 --> 00:38:27,477 and stretch myself. 710 00:38:27,512 --> 00:38:29,168 I very much see part of my job 711 00:38:29,203 --> 00:38:33,518 as helping young women stretch their responsibilities. 712 00:38:34,622 --> 00:38:37,280 Sit here and tell me more about it. 713 00:38:37,315 --> 00:38:38,626 Sir? 714 00:38:43,528 --> 00:38:45,633 Sit here? 715 00:38:53,883 --> 00:38:55,160 [laughs] 716 00:38:55,194 --> 00:38:56,955 Watch this. Watch this. 717 00:39:00,545 --> 00:39:03,341 This was a good idea. This is fun. 718 00:39:03,375 --> 00:39:07,379 Does anyone else want a go? This is awesome. 719 00:39:07,414 --> 00:39:10,831 I mean, it's not as good as a chair, like all you guys have 720 00:39:10,865 --> 00:39:12,729 but it's definitely second best. 721 00:39:12,764 --> 00:39:15,145 - Maybe we could wrestle, too. - No. 722 00:39:15,180 --> 00:39:17,596 No, okay, you've got the feature, okay? 723 00:39:17,631 --> 00:39:19,667 You can do John Kite in Dublin. 724 00:39:21,082 --> 00:39:23,326 They're my thank-you bounces. 725 00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:25,639 Please make sure your seat's back and tray tables 726 00:39:25,673 --> 00:39:27,226 are in the full upright positions 727 00:39:27,261 --> 00:39:30,333 and that your seatbelt is correctly fastened. 728 00:39:30,368 --> 00:39:31,748 So the gig's at 10:00 p.m. 729 00:39:31,783 --> 00:39:32,991 We'll do the interview first in the pub. 730 00:39:33,025 --> 00:39:35,649 Are all planes this small? 731 00:39:35,683 --> 00:39:37,167 Here's some clippings and some photos. 732 00:39:37,202 --> 00:39:38,893 You've heard his new record, yes? 733 00:39:38,928 --> 00:39:41,344 Is this turbulence? 734 00:39:41,379 --> 00:39:42,863 We haven't taken off yet. 735 00:39:44,140 --> 00:39:46,970 They say flying is the safest mode of transport 736 00:39:47,005 --> 00:39:49,594 but surely that's walking. 737 00:39:51,665 --> 00:39:53,701 [gasps] 738 00:39:55,462 --> 00:39:59,051 Then after the show, I'll be with John Kite at all times. 739 00:40:01,985 --> 00:40:04,332 - Oh, God, what's happening? - Eh? 740 00:40:04,367 --> 00:40:06,300 Well, we've just gone above the clouds. 741 00:40:08,475 --> 00:40:10,960 [instrumental music] 742 00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:26,009 John, what are you talking about? Come back to me. 743 00:40:26,044 --> 00:40:27,735 Let's just do it in the pub, you know. 744 00:40:27,770 --> 00:40:30,186 - Listen.. - John. D-and-ME's here. 745 00:40:36,399 --> 00:40:38,850 [instrumental music] 746 00:40:42,370 --> 00:40:46,754 John. D-and-ME. This is Dolly Wilde. 747 00:40:46,789 --> 00:40:50,413 Alright, Duchess? Pleasure to meet you. 748 00:40:50,448 --> 00:40:52,795 Shall we, uh, brutalize ourselves with gin? 749 00:40:52,829 --> 00:40:55,004 Oh, I would just like some pop, please. 750 00:40:55,038 --> 00:40:57,144 - Do you want a cigarette? -No, thank you. 751 00:40:57,178 --> 00:41:00,734 Ah. Well, I applaud your brightness. 752 00:41:02,045 --> 00:41:04,047 When you start smoking 753 00:41:04,082 --> 00:41:06,464 you think that you've bought a fun baby dragon. 754 00:41:06,498 --> 00:41:08,500 You think that you've charmed a fabulous beast 755 00:41:08,535 --> 00:41:10,951 that will impress both your enemies and your friends. 756 00:41:10,985 --> 00:41:12,400 Then, 20 years later, you wake up 757 00:41:12,435 --> 00:41:14,195 with your lungs full of cinder, the bed's on fire 758 00:41:14,230 --> 00:41:16,543 and you realize the dragon grew up 759 00:41:16,577 --> 00:41:18,648 and burned your fucking house down. 760 00:41:21,271 --> 00:41:24,482 - So, the interview.. - Ah, the interview. 761 00:41:24,516 --> 00:41:26,622 My first question is, if you had to murder someone evil 762 00:41:26,656 --> 00:41:28,244 how would you do it? 763 00:41:28,278 --> 00:41:29,935 - That is an amazing question. - What's your worst song? 764 00:41:29,970 --> 00:41:31,523 - Oh, I don't know. - Which is the best Beatle? 765 00:41:31,558 --> 00:41:32,835 Well, that's quite a.. 766 00:41:32,869 --> 00:41:34,975 What would you spend a pound on in a sweet shop? 767 00:41:37,598 --> 00:41:39,669 [laughs] 768 00:41:39,704 --> 00:41:43,121 Darling, have you ever done, like, an interview before? 769 00:41:43,155 --> 00:41:45,364 No. I will be honest with you. 770 00:41:45,399 --> 00:41:47,505 I've never done on anything before. 771 00:41:47,539 --> 00:41:50,162 I'm quite new. I went on a plane today for the first time. 772 00:41:50,197 --> 00:41:53,372 - Do you know how amazing it is? - Tell me. 773 00:41:53,407 --> 00:41:55,720 Today I learned an astounding thing. 774 00:41:55,754 --> 00:41:57,653 It's always sunny above the clouds. 775 00:41:57,687 --> 00:41:59,102 However awful it is on Earth 776 00:41:59,137 --> 00:42:02,278 if you go high enough, it's always summer. 777 00:42:02,312 --> 00:42:03,969 Isn't that amazing? 778 00:42:06,558 --> 00:42:09,527 - Ed, we're finished here, mate. - I have other questions. 779 00:42:09,561 --> 00:42:11,701 Look, darling, if you think I'm gonna sit here 780 00:42:11,736 --> 00:42:13,254 bollocking on about me 781 00:42:13,289 --> 00:42:16,948 when you're both mad as Jesus and new to abroad. 782 00:42:16,982 --> 00:42:19,260 Come on. We're going out. 783 00:42:24,058 --> 00:42:25,991 Welcome to the world. 784 00:42:27,752 --> 00:42:29,374 James Joyce's favorite pub. 785 00:42:29,408 --> 00:42:31,479 In Ulysses, it's Davy Byrnes. 786 00:42:31,514 --> 00:42:32,860 [laughing] 787 00:42:32,895 --> 00:42:35,380 [instrumental music] 788 00:42:52,259 --> 00:42:53,536 [laughs] 789 00:42:58,990 --> 00:43:02,683 Come on, boy. Watch out. Rock star here. 790 00:43:02,718 --> 00:43:05,375 - John, how you doing? - Yeah, I'm alright, mate. I'm good, yeah. 791 00:43:05,410 --> 00:43:07,619 Let's get you started.. 792 00:43:07,654 --> 00:43:09,000 Same old routine, eh? 793 00:43:09,034 --> 00:43:11,761 You ready? Good. It's all good. 794 00:43:12,693 --> 00:43:14,212 There you go. 795 00:43:15,731 --> 00:43:16,939 Thanks. 796 00:43:16,973 --> 00:43:19,251 [audience cheering] 797 00:43:19,286 --> 00:43:20,528 Come on. 798 00:43:22,116 --> 00:43:23,877 Come on, let's do it. 799 00:43:23,911 --> 00:43:26,396 [audience cheering] 800 00:43:32,471 --> 00:43:34,059 This is the Duchess. 801 00:43:38,408 --> 00:43:41,964 Right, I am reliably informed by Melody Maker 802 00:43:41,998 --> 00:43:44,345 that I break hearts in two, so.. 803 00:43:45,519 --> 00:43:47,590 Safety goggles on, eh? 804 00:43:47,625 --> 00:43:49,143 [audience cheering] 805 00:43:49,178 --> 00:43:54,597 ♪ You said heartbreak 806 00:43:54,632 --> 00:43:58,670 ♪ Only happens 807 00:43:58,705 --> 00:44:02,260 ♪ When you're older 808 00:44:05,470 --> 00:44:12,063 ♪ Angels don't put the angels to bed ♪ 809 00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:18,310 ♪ And it's okay to lie 810 00:44:20,416 --> 00:44:23,937 ♪ Is what I have learned 811 00:44:27,561 --> 00:44:34,844 ♪ I tell them my day-making girl is off saving the world ♪ 812 00:44:39,262 --> 00:44:44,958 ♪ You said heartbreak 813 00:44:44,992 --> 00:44:49,065 ♪ Only happens 814 00:44:49,100 --> 00:44:52,241 ♪ When you're older 815 00:44:56,245 --> 00:45:03,079 ♪ Angels don't put the angels to bed ♪ 816 00:45:05,081 --> 00:45:09,223 ♪ And it's okay to lie 817 00:45:11,363 --> 00:45:14,539 ♪ Is what I have learned ♪ 818 00:45:16,403 --> 00:45:17,887 [door opens] 819 00:45:21,235 --> 00:45:22,789 Classy. 820 00:45:22,823 --> 00:45:24,307 I'm having this. 821 00:45:25,895 --> 00:45:27,241 Hotel tax, innit? 822 00:45:27,276 --> 00:45:29,554 For the honor of my company. 823 00:45:29,588 --> 00:45:31,314 [chuckles] 824 00:45:31,349 --> 00:45:33,523 I do have a proper question now. 825 00:45:33,558 --> 00:45:35,249 Hit me. 826 00:45:35,284 --> 00:45:37,389 Why are your songs so sad? 827 00:45:39,391 --> 00:45:41,877 Oh, baby, now, that's a.. 828 00:45:41,911 --> 00:45:43,464 ...that's big one. 829 00:45:45,639 --> 00:45:46,605 Well.. 830 00:45:47,917 --> 00:45:50,437 ...you see, I was, uh.. 831 00:45:50,471 --> 00:45:52,404 ...born in a crossfire hurricane. 832 00:45:54,027 --> 00:45:55,200 No, that's a quote. 833 00:45:55,235 --> 00:45:57,099 "Jumpin' Jack Flash." 834 00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:01,620 The Stones? 835 00:46:01,655 --> 00:46:04,278 Have you never listened to the Stones? 836 00:46:04,313 --> 00:46:07,074 I have the "Best Of" reserved at the library 837 00:46:07,109 --> 00:46:09,836 but there are six other reservations ahead of me. 838 00:46:09,870 --> 00:46:12,459 And yet you can quote "Ulysses." 839 00:46:12,493 --> 00:46:14,979 Well, no one reserved that at the library. 840 00:46:17,913 --> 00:46:19,466 I bet. 841 00:46:19,500 --> 00:46:20,467 Well.. 842 00:46:21,537 --> 00:46:23,608 ...like you, baby, I'm a scratcher. 843 00:46:23,642 --> 00:46:25,921 I was born in Blackwood, South Wales Valleys 844 00:46:25,955 --> 00:46:27,646 in a crossfire drizzle. 845 00:46:28,855 --> 00:46:32,030 My mother had my three sisters 846 00:46:32,065 --> 00:46:34,343 and then she got ill. 847 00:46:34,377 --> 00:46:38,243 We'd go and visit her in hospital and, uh.. 848 00:46:38,278 --> 00:46:41,419 ...she, uh, she didn't wanna touch us. 849 00:46:43,973 --> 00:46:46,079 It made her cry. 850 00:46:46,113 --> 00:46:47,563 And when we'd say goodbye 851 00:46:47,597 --> 00:46:50,738 she'd press the tips of her fingers to her mouth 852 00:46:50,773 --> 00:46:53,776 press it on our mouths, and say, "This is John's kiss." 853 00:46:56,434 --> 00:46:59,540 And the little ones, you know, they just wanted their mum. 854 00:46:59,575 --> 00:47:00,748 [glass clinks] 855 00:47:02,164 --> 00:47:04,304 When she, uh, decided to die.. 856 00:47:05,684 --> 00:47:10,034 ...I'd go into her wardrobe and...put on her coat 857 00:47:10,068 --> 00:47:11,759 and hug 'em.. 858 00:47:15,349 --> 00:47:17,282 ...so they could smell her, you know. 859 00:47:18,801 --> 00:47:21,045 I read somewhere that's what you do with puppies. 860 00:47:21,079 --> 00:47:23,150 You...put 'em in a cardboard box 861 00:47:23,185 --> 00:47:25,566 with a blanket that smells of their mother. 862 00:47:27,637 --> 00:47:29,156 And your dad? 863 00:47:32,504 --> 00:47:33,574 [chuckles] 864 00:47:33,609 --> 00:47:35,887 This is all off the record now, of course. 865 00:47:35,922 --> 00:47:40,133 We are off road now, and off balance too. 866 00:47:40,167 --> 00:47:41,582 [both chuckle] 867 00:47:41,617 --> 00:47:42,894 [glass clinks] 868 00:47:42,929 --> 00:47:45,310 This is far too much about me. 869 00:47:45,345 --> 00:47:48,693 You, tell me one true thing about you. 870 00:47:48,727 --> 00:47:50,798 Whose eyes do you have? 871 00:47:50,833 --> 00:47:52,386 Whose, whose wonder? 872 00:47:53,871 --> 00:47:57,288 I used to think that anyone who didn't have my mother... 873 00:47:57,322 --> 00:47:58,668 My eyes are hers. 874 00:47:58,703 --> 00:48:01,637 Or my father, he's the one who loves the world 875 00:48:01,671 --> 00:48:04,467 was so unlucky. 876 00:48:04,502 --> 00:48:06,159 They might as well just lie down and die. 877 00:48:06,193 --> 00:48:07,608 [chuckles softly] 878 00:48:07,643 --> 00:48:10,542 But then she had the unexpected twins. 879 00:48:13,097 --> 00:48:15,202 And now she's just.. 880 00:48:17,825 --> 00:48:19,241 I miss her. 881 00:48:22,244 --> 00:48:23,831 Even though she's there. 882 00:48:25,764 --> 00:48:28,250 So I guess I write 883 00:48:28,284 --> 00:48:32,116 because that's like.. 884 00:48:32,150 --> 00:48:35,533 ...putting a wish into a bottle, isn't it? 885 00:48:35,567 --> 00:48:39,192 Baby, I think we are both in the business 886 00:48:39,226 --> 00:48:40,848 of putting wishes in bottles. 887 00:48:42,229 --> 00:48:45,370 I mean, that's the whole business we're in. 888 00:48:46,716 --> 00:48:47,786 [chuckles] 889 00:48:59,108 --> 00:49:00,799 Do you want some nuts? 890 00:49:00,834 --> 00:49:03,216 - Hmm. - Alright. 891 00:49:05,114 --> 00:49:06,357 [both laugh] 892 00:49:06,391 --> 00:49:09,567 - I love a bath. - Oh! Me too. 893 00:49:09,601 --> 00:49:12,363 I just don't understand showers. They're depressing. 894 00:49:12,397 --> 00:49:14,848 It's like standing in the rain on purpose. 895 00:49:14,882 --> 00:49:15,953 [chuckles] 896 00:49:15,987 --> 00:49:18,196 But I love Doors. 897 00:49:18,231 --> 00:49:20,198 They make the outside stop. 898 00:49:22,545 --> 00:49:24,720 - Ah! I love Doors now. - Hm. 899 00:49:24,754 --> 00:49:27,378 I've fallen in love with Doors. They're amazing. 900 00:49:27,412 --> 00:49:30,933 - But do you love dogs? - What? Do I love dogs? 901 00:49:30,968 --> 00:49:33,211 I absolutely love dogs. 902 00:49:33,246 --> 00:49:34,799 What's your favorite type of dog? 903 00:49:34,833 --> 00:49:37,767 [instrumental music] 904 00:50:03,759 --> 00:50:05,105 Ey, love. 905 00:50:05,140 --> 00:50:09,075 - I am irreversibly in love. - Oh, nice one, bab. 906 00:50:09,109 --> 00:50:11,284 I've got a gammon on the go, if you want a slice. 907 00:50:11,318 --> 00:50:12,492 Dad... 908 00:50:13,976 --> 00:50:18,015 I brought you a proper pint from Dublin, like you always wanted. 909 00:50:18,049 --> 00:50:21,121 Thank you very much for that, love. That's great. 910 00:50:21,156 --> 00:50:23,296 Look at that. Proper pint. 911 00:50:25,056 --> 00:50:26,540 Oh! It's a bit flat. 912 00:50:29,336 --> 00:50:30,855 John's nuts. 913 00:50:33,720 --> 00:50:35,515 I don't know what to write. 914 00:50:35,549 --> 00:50:38,207 Ah! The ecstatic torture of love. 915 00:50:38,242 --> 00:50:40,140 The socioeconomic conditions 916 00:50:40,175 --> 00:50:43,281 that lead to the dominance of working-class rock and roll. 917 00:50:43,316 --> 00:50:46,836 Just write from the heart, Jo, and into the bank balance. 918 00:50:46,871 --> 00:50:48,355 Love that. 919 00:50:51,772 --> 00:50:53,015 [sighs] 920 00:50:53,050 --> 00:50:56,950 John Kite Interview, Dublin 921 00:50:56,984 --> 00:50:58,779 by Dolly Wilde. 922 00:51:02,576 --> 00:51:05,993 Some people aren't just people 923 00:51:06,028 --> 00:51:08,513 but...a place. 924 00:51:09,445 --> 00:51:11,413 A whole world. 925 00:51:11,447 --> 00:51:17,177 ♪ You said heartbreak 926 00:51:17,212 --> 00:51:21,250 ♪ Only happens 927 00:51:21,285 --> 00:51:25,668 ♪ When you're older.. 928 00:51:25,703 --> 00:51:29,569 Sometimes you find someone you can just live inside. 929 00:51:29,603 --> 00:51:34,574 ♪ Angels don't put the angels to bed ♪ 930 00:51:37,059 --> 00:51:40,269 ♪ And it's okay to lie 931 00:51:40,304 --> 00:51:43,134 [vocalizing] 932 00:51:43,169 --> 00:51:46,827 ♪ Is what I have learned 933 00:51:49,934 --> 00:51:54,352 ♪ I tell them my day-making girl ♪ 934 00:51:56,251 --> 00:52:01,566 ♪ She's out saving the world 935 00:52:01,601 --> 00:52:07,434 ♪ You said heartbreak 936 00:52:07,469 --> 00:52:11,335 ♪ Only happens 937 00:52:11,369 --> 00:52:17,617 ♪ When you're older.. 938 00:52:17,651 --> 00:52:19,066 You are the whole world. 939 00:52:19,101 --> 00:52:20,930 ♪ Angels 940 00:52:20,965 --> 00:52:27,592 ♪ Don't put the angels to bed.. ♪ 941 00:52:29,836 --> 00:52:32,770 [vocalizing] 942 00:52:36,325 --> 00:52:37,809 Come with me. 943 00:52:45,886 --> 00:52:47,094 Let yourself go. 944 00:52:47,129 --> 00:52:52,824 ♪ She's off saving the world.. ♪ 945 00:52:53,825 --> 00:52:55,206 Johanna? 946 00:52:55,241 --> 00:52:56,552 Johanna.. 947 00:52:56,587 --> 00:52:58,554 - Johanna, let me in. - Go away. 948 00:52:58,589 --> 00:53:00,177 ♪ Saving the world 949 00:53:00,211 --> 00:53:02,317 ♪ Saving the world 950 00:53:02,351 --> 00:53:03,525 ♪ Saving.. ♪ 951 00:53:03,559 --> 00:53:07,494 - Johanna. - Uh! Go away, Krissi! 952 00:53:07,529 --> 00:53:09,462 What you doing in there? 953 00:53:09,496 --> 00:53:10,911 Let me in. 954 00:53:10,946 --> 00:53:13,845 Sounds like you're whisking something. 955 00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:15,847 Johanna, I've just had a really flirty half an hour 956 00:53:15,882 --> 00:53:17,642 with John Kellog on the 512 957 00:53:17,677 --> 00:53:18,919 and I need to share. 958 00:53:18,954 --> 00:53:20,438 Ugh! 959 00:53:21,439 --> 00:53:22,613 [sighs] 960 00:53:27,134 --> 00:53:28,584 I was working. 961 00:53:30,793 --> 00:53:33,037 What, on how to skin him and wear him as a coat? 962 00:53:33,071 --> 00:53:35,108 Listen, I finished it. 963 00:53:38,491 --> 00:53:40,734 "John Kite in Dublin. 964 00:53:40,769 --> 00:53:43,737 "He's not a beautiful boy, nor a tall one 965 00:53:43,772 --> 00:53:45,532 "but when the wind blows in on the street corner 966 00:53:45,567 --> 00:53:48,363 "you can hear his heart beat under his shirt. 967 00:53:48,397 --> 00:53:50,054 And when conversation accelerates.." 968 00:53:50,088 --> 00:53:53,264 "...you can hear his mind chime like a clock. 969 00:53:53,299 --> 00:53:54,714 "He is bright, bright, bright 970 00:53:54,748 --> 00:53:56,888 "like the lantern above a pub door in November. 971 00:53:56,923 --> 00:53:59,857 "He makes you wanna come in and never leave. 972 00:53:59,891 --> 00:54:02,100 "When he smiles, it's like plugging in a Wurlitzer. 973 00:54:02,135 --> 00:54:04,275 The dance floor floods with jivers." 974 00:54:04,310 --> 00:54:07,692 And this, Tony, this is why we don't employ little girls 975 00:54:07,727 --> 00:54:08,935 to write our newspaper. 976 00:54:08,969 --> 00:54:10,730 I've never been in an organization 977 00:54:10,764 --> 00:54:13,767 that wasn't improved from hiring jailbait. 978 00:54:15,321 --> 00:54:16,977 Shirley Temple is fired. 979 00:54:17,012 --> 00:54:18,565 [sighing] 980 00:54:24,571 --> 00:54:26,193 What you doing, bab? 981 00:54:26,228 --> 00:54:29,887 Waiting for a phone call that determines my entire future. 982 00:54:29,921 --> 00:54:31,578 How long you been waiting? 983 00:54:31,613 --> 00:54:33,822 Since 10 o'clock this morning. 984 00:54:33,856 --> 00:54:35,686 I know the feeling, love. 985 00:54:35,720 --> 00:54:38,792 I've been waiting for mine since 1978. 986 00:54:38,827 --> 00:54:41,070 Ah! Keep at it, cocker. 987 00:54:42,831 --> 00:54:45,972 [instrumental music] 988 00:54:50,425 --> 00:54:51,460 Ring. 989 00:54:51,495 --> 00:54:52,496 [thuds] 990 00:54:52,530 --> 00:54:53,669 Ow! 991 00:54:53,704 --> 00:54:55,568 [baby crying] 992 00:55:00,158 --> 00:55:03,092 [baby crying] 993 00:55:10,617 --> 00:55:12,067 Ring. 994 00:55:15,381 --> 00:55:18,038 [vocalizing] 995 00:55:37,817 --> 00:55:39,439 Is this all? 996 00:55:39,474 --> 00:55:41,683 I kind of lost my mojo, Mrs. B. 997 00:55:41,717 --> 00:55:43,581 I'm doubting my authorial voice. 998 00:55:43,616 --> 00:55:46,619 I don't need your authorial voice, Johanna. 999 00:55:46,653 --> 00:55:49,656 I need 500 words on Anna Karenina by 11:20. 1000 00:55:49,691 --> 00:55:51,278 I can give you the headline. 1001 00:55:51,313 --> 00:55:55,524 "Unhappy girl throws herself under a train. Fair enough." 1002 00:55:55,559 --> 00:55:57,733 As things stand, you're headed to a future 1003 00:55:57,768 --> 00:55:59,977 stacking cheddar on the cheese counter at Safeway. 1004 00:56:00,011 --> 00:56:01,634 You're kind of crushing my 1005 00:56:01,668 --> 00:56:03,843 already faltering zest for life, Mrs. B. 1006 00:56:03,877 --> 00:56:07,709 Yes. I'm the cold light of day. 1007 00:56:07,743 --> 00:56:09,227 A hope smasher. 1008 00:56:10,401 --> 00:56:12,472 A teacher. 1009 00:56:12,507 --> 00:56:15,164 [thunder rumbling] 1010 00:56:15,199 --> 00:56:18,133 [rain pattering] 1011 00:56:20,756 --> 00:56:22,724 Dolly Wilde. 1012 00:56:22,758 --> 00:56:25,347 - Ah! No, love. - I should be. 1013 00:56:25,382 --> 00:56:26,969 Try Johanna Morrigan. 1014 00:56:27,004 --> 00:56:29,144 Neither of you are on here, love. 1015 00:56:29,178 --> 00:56:31,974 Don't you know who I thought I was six weeks ago? 1016 00:56:32,009 --> 00:56:33,251 [laughing] 1017 00:56:33,286 --> 00:56:34,736 You're funny. 1018 00:56:34,770 --> 00:56:36,151 You should be a writer or something. 1019 00:56:36,185 --> 00:56:37,773 You're still not coming in though. 1020 00:56:37,808 --> 00:56:39,223 [chuckling] 1021 00:56:42,088 --> 00:56:43,434 No! 1022 00:56:43,469 --> 00:56:45,712 No! No! 1023 00:56:48,266 --> 00:56:50,199 [panting] 1024 00:56:58,345 --> 00:56:59,657 You've hit rock bottom? 1025 00:56:59,692 --> 00:57:01,935 Amazing. Details now, please. 1026 00:57:02,626 --> 00:57:04,248 I was so close. 1027 00:57:04,282 --> 00:57:07,631 I had the perfect life. I had friends. 1028 00:57:07,665 --> 00:57:10,288 I was almost out of here. 1029 00:57:10,323 --> 00:57:11,945 Now it's gone. 1030 00:57:11,980 --> 00:57:14,327 I'm 16 and I'm over. 1031 00:57:14,361 --> 00:57:16,018 You can't be over. 1032 00:57:16,053 --> 00:57:19,056 You don't have the privilege of that option, do you? 1033 00:57:20,575 --> 00:57:23,060 You cannot deny physics, darling. 1034 00:57:23,094 --> 00:57:25,821 You are the unstoppable force. 1035 00:57:25,856 --> 00:57:29,204 So...don't stop. 1036 00:57:34,761 --> 00:57:37,108 Come on, let me walk you home. 1037 00:57:42,079 --> 00:57:44,253 ♪ Looking out the door 1038 00:57:44,288 --> 00:57:50,397 ♪ I see the rain fall upon the funeral mourners ♪ 1039 00:57:53,987 --> 00:57:58,371 ♪ Parading in a wake of sad relations ♪ 1040 00:57:58,405 --> 00:58:01,650 ♪ As their shoes fill up with water ♪ 1041 00:58:04,515 --> 00:58:06,448 [crackers bursting] 1042 00:58:07,794 --> 00:58:10,314 ♪ Maybe I'm too young 1043 00:58:11,936 --> 00:58:17,355 ♪ To keep good love from goin' wrong ♪ 1044 00:58:17,390 --> 00:58:20,048 ♪ But tonight 1045 00:58:20,082 --> 00:58:25,087 ♪ You're on my mind so 1046 00:58:26,710 --> 00:58:28,781 ♪ You'll never know ♪ 1047 00:58:33,613 --> 00:58:37,065 Alright. Cool. Let's just freakin' wake up. Come on. 1048 00:58:37,099 --> 00:58:39,792 This is definitely goin' out as well. 1049 00:58:39,826 --> 00:58:40,827 Nothing else. No way. 1050 00:58:40,862 --> 00:58:43,036 I don't ever want to heat that.. 1051 00:58:43,071 --> 00:58:44,797 [indistinct chatter] 1052 00:58:44,831 --> 00:58:46,661 Yes. Alright, boss. Yeah. 1053 00:58:46,695 --> 00:58:50,457 You're slacking. Make sure that bit is right in the middle. 1054 00:58:51,666 --> 00:58:54,116 I've hit the glass ceiling. 1055 00:58:54,151 --> 00:58:58,017 I'm an unstoppable force, and yet I'm being stopped. Why? 1056 00:58:59,397 --> 00:59:02,780 Well, what you don't understand yet is that this is war. 1057 00:59:02,815 --> 00:59:04,402 War? 1058 00:59:04,437 --> 00:59:07,682 There's only 15 or 20 bands out there who really matter 1059 00:59:07,716 --> 00:59:09,822 ones who can change people's lives. 1060 00:59:09,856 --> 00:59:11,306 So? 1061 00:59:11,340 --> 00:59:15,241 So our job here is to remove the parasites 1062 00:59:15,275 --> 00:59:18,244 napalm them from their huts, clear the way. 1063 00:59:18,278 --> 00:59:19,797 - Yes, yes, yes... - That's alright. 1064 00:59:19,832 --> 00:59:22,351 I could, uh, I could listen to that. 1065 00:59:22,386 --> 00:59:24,491 Baby.. 1066 00:59:24,526 --> 00:59:28,426 ...that John Kite feature, Kenny wasn't impressed. 1067 00:59:28,461 --> 00:59:31,602 You just sounded like an excited teenage girl. 1068 00:59:31,637 --> 00:59:33,777 I am an excited teenage girl. 1069 00:59:33,811 --> 00:59:36,296 Well, fan or hack? 1070 00:59:37,263 --> 00:59:39,645 - Decide. - Really? 1071 00:59:39,679 --> 00:59:41,543 If I want to get ahead 1072 00:59:41,578 --> 00:59:44,442 I've got to get a hate? 1073 00:59:45,927 --> 00:59:48,515 We need you. 1074 00:59:48,550 --> 00:59:51,553 So everyone my whole life has lied to me. 1075 00:59:51,588 --> 00:59:54,452 A nice girl gets nowhere. 1076 00:59:54,487 --> 00:59:55,661 But a bitch.. 1077 00:59:55,695 --> 00:59:57,559 ...a bitch can make a comeback. 1078 00:59:59,112 --> 01:00:01,252 I have no choice. 1079 01:00:01,287 --> 01:00:05,636 Pop has a new gatekeeper, Dolly Wilde. 1080 01:00:05,671 --> 01:00:08,087 And I will not let you through if you think it's acceptable 1081 01:00:08,121 --> 01:00:10,676 to dress like work-experience vampires 1082 01:00:10,710 --> 01:00:12,643 and I mean you, The Hallows. 1083 01:00:12,678 --> 01:00:16,854 This is rock and roll, guys, not a clown hair competition. 1084 01:00:16,889 --> 01:00:18,407 It is a truth 1085 01:00:18,442 --> 01:00:21,859 universally acknowledged 1086 01:00:21,894 --> 01:00:24,621 that Paul Simon looks like a toe 1087 01:00:24,655 --> 01:00:27,485 someone drew a face on. 1088 01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:29,142 [laughing] 1089 01:00:29,177 --> 01:00:31,386 Joni Mitchell, voice of an angel 1090 01:00:31,420 --> 01:00:33,181 face of a Grand National winner. 1091 01:00:33,215 --> 01:00:35,562 Who is this bitch Dolly Wilde? 1092 01:00:37,081 --> 01:00:39,083 Hippies, just so you know 1093 01:00:39,118 --> 01:00:41,914 there is no such thing as a didgeridoo player. 1094 01:00:41,948 --> 01:00:44,364 That is a man mooing down a pipe. 1095 01:00:46,021 --> 01:00:49,576 This is horrible, like ear cystitis. 1096 01:00:51,993 --> 01:00:53,650 ♪ Now it's in.. 1097 01:00:53,684 --> 01:00:56,756 Guys, when did the burglar steal your talent? 1098 01:00:56,791 --> 01:00:59,207 I'm calling the police. 1099 01:00:59,241 --> 01:01:01,036 "Jump Around" by House of Pain 1100 01:01:01,071 --> 01:01:02,728 is the kind of music testicles would make. 1101 01:01:02,762 --> 01:01:04,177 [chuckling] 1102 01:01:04,212 --> 01:01:05,800 - Alright, mate. Bye. - Here you go, mate. 1103 01:01:05,834 --> 01:01:06,835 Dude. 1104 01:01:06,870 --> 01:01:09,010 [vocalizing] 1105 01:01:10,425 --> 01:01:13,635 Dolly Wilde, every single letter. 1106 01:01:13,670 --> 01:01:15,154 [horn blaring] 1107 01:01:18,675 --> 01:01:19,848 You're welcome. 1108 01:01:19,883 --> 01:01:21,712 [baby crying] 1109 01:01:21,747 --> 01:01:22,886 What d'you reckon? 1110 01:01:22,920 --> 01:01:24,888 [baby crying] 1111 01:01:24,922 --> 01:01:28,132 No, stop. Halt. Stop this. 1112 01:01:28,167 --> 01:01:30,721 - Oh, this is bad. - Stop. Stop this. 1113 01:01:30,756 --> 01:01:32,136 [indistinct chatter] 1114 01:01:32,171 --> 01:01:34,829 Whatever happened to raindrops on roses 1115 01:01:34,863 --> 01:01:36,969 and whiskers on kittens, Johanna? 1116 01:01:37,003 --> 01:01:39,005 They don't pay the rent. 1117 01:01:44,839 --> 01:01:46,461 - Dolly! - Dolly! Dolly! 1118 01:01:46,495 --> 01:01:48,774 Hi! How're you? 1119 01:01:48,808 --> 01:01:50,120 May I? 1120 01:01:50,154 --> 01:01:52,467 [indistinct chatter] 1121 01:01:57,127 --> 01:01:59,025 So, you don't have to worry 1122 01:01:59,060 --> 01:02:01,510 about that hymen anymore, Krissi. 1123 01:02:01,545 --> 01:02:03,202 It's gone. 1124 01:02:03,236 --> 01:02:06,067 I've literally taken one for the team. 1125 01:02:06,101 --> 01:02:07,896 The team of sex. 1126 01:02:07,931 --> 01:02:10,071 I'm post-virginity. 1127 01:02:10,105 --> 01:02:12,659 And it turns out, I'm really good at it. 1128 01:02:22,290 --> 01:02:24,706 Everyone wants a piece of Dolly Wilde 1129 01:02:24,741 --> 01:02:27,364 and God wisely made enough to go around. 1130 01:02:27,398 --> 01:02:29,711 So I'm entering my inevitable period of 1131 01:02:29,746 --> 01:02:32,818 intense sexual experimentation. 1132 01:02:32,852 --> 01:02:35,993 [instrumental music] 1133 01:02:37,788 --> 01:02:40,032 I've done it with someone from West Bromwich. 1134 01:02:40,066 --> 01:02:42,689 [moaning] 1135 01:02:42,724 --> 01:02:45,451 I've done it with a freaky foot guy. 1136 01:02:45,485 --> 01:02:49,558 I did with a man who faints every time he sees a nipple. 1137 01:02:51,250 --> 01:02:52,699 And just last night 1138 01:02:52,734 --> 01:02:55,530 I encountered something I didn't think was possible. 1139 01:02:57,704 --> 01:02:59,603 A penis that was too big. 1140 01:03:00,569 --> 01:03:02,226 [groaning] 1141 01:03:02,261 --> 01:03:05,264 Luckily, I'm a quick learner. I'll give you my tips. 1142 01:03:05,298 --> 01:03:07,197 One, when in missionary 1143 01:03:07,231 --> 01:03:09,026 place your hands flat on his chest 1144 01:03:09,061 --> 01:03:11,718 and brace, brace, brace with your arms. 1145 01:03:11,753 --> 01:03:13,582 Two, in doggy 1146 01:03:13,617 --> 01:03:16,447 you can essentially keep crawling away from the penis. 1147 01:03:16,482 --> 01:03:18,311 Every time he tries to get a bit more inside 1148 01:03:18,346 --> 01:03:20,348 you just gallop a little faster. 1149 01:03:21,452 --> 01:03:23,592 - Kris? - I'm gonna be sick. 1150 01:03:23,627 --> 01:03:24,835 Kris! 1151 01:03:24,870 --> 01:03:26,768 Kris! Kris! 1152 01:03:26,803 --> 01:03:29,012 You can share some of your sexual experiences 1153 01:03:29,046 --> 01:03:30,392 such as they may be. 1154 01:03:30,427 --> 01:03:31,393 Hm.. 1155 01:03:31,428 --> 01:03:33,775 You need to be more repressed. 1156 01:03:33,810 --> 01:03:36,260 [door closes] 1157 01:03:38,815 --> 01:03:41,541 So, anyway, between us girls 1158 01:03:41,576 --> 01:03:44,510 in all this, the only thing I haven't learned is this 1159 01:03:44,544 --> 01:03:46,408 how does a man make you come? 1160 01:03:46,443 --> 01:03:47,996 Ooh! I know what you're saying.. 1161 01:03:48,031 --> 01:03:49,756 Oh, well, that is the big question. 1162 01:03:49,791 --> 01:03:52,483 - Well, we managed without. - Speak for yourself. 1163 01:03:52,518 --> 01:03:54,796 I like to give myself a damn good wuthering. 1164 01:03:54,831 --> 01:03:58,420 I did try it once, but I -- I didn't like it. 1165 01:03:58,455 --> 01:04:02,459 You just have to have a little fiddle with yourself, darling. 1166 01:04:02,493 --> 01:04:04,495 That's exactly what I did. 1167 01:04:06,256 --> 01:04:07,982 That's my girl. 1168 01:04:08,016 --> 01:04:09,500 [gunshot] 1169 01:04:16,680 --> 01:04:18,544 Jeeves. 1170 01:04:18,578 --> 01:04:21,029 These boots need a lift to the station. 1171 01:04:21,064 --> 01:04:22,479 Darling, I would love to 1172 01:04:22,513 --> 01:04:25,516 but, uh, there's been a bit of a development. 1173 01:04:27,070 --> 01:04:28,450 [door opens] 1174 01:04:32,799 --> 01:04:34,491 Where's the van? 1175 01:04:34,525 --> 01:04:36,838 You've inspired me, love. 1176 01:04:36,873 --> 01:04:38,598 I sold it. 1177 01:04:38,633 --> 01:04:39,910 You've sold it? 1178 01:04:39,945 --> 01:04:41,774 Where the bloody hell did you appear from? 1179 01:04:41,808 --> 01:04:45,191 I manifest whenever someone sells my fucking car. 1180 01:04:45,226 --> 01:04:47,745 - Why did you sell it? - To do this. 1181 01:04:52,060 --> 01:04:55,305 - Here, look, you. - Unbelievable. 1182 01:04:55,339 --> 01:04:56,927 - Huh? - Not again, Pat. 1183 01:04:56,962 --> 01:04:59,102 I got these done and all. 1184 01:04:59,136 --> 01:05:00,172 Mayonnaise.. 1185 01:05:00,206 --> 01:05:02,277 You called yourself Mayonnaise? 1186 01:05:02,312 --> 01:05:04,486 You sold the cow for magic beans. 1187 01:05:04,521 --> 01:05:08,318 Do you not have any faith in our daughter, Angie? 1188 01:05:08,352 --> 01:05:10,561 You can make me, can't you, love? 1189 01:05:10,596 --> 01:05:12,909 Absolutely. I'm all over it. 1190 01:05:12,943 --> 01:05:15,877 [instrumental music] 1191 01:05:19,916 --> 01:05:21,918 The thing about crossing over to the dark side 1192 01:05:21,952 --> 01:05:24,748 is that once you're there, it doesn't feel dark at all. 1193 01:05:24,782 --> 01:05:28,890 - Hello. - Dolly, how you doing, girl? 1194 01:05:28,925 --> 01:05:31,168 It feels warm and welcoming. 1195 01:05:31,203 --> 01:05:35,138 You and your friends are just taking care of business. 1196 01:05:38,003 --> 01:05:39,521 - To evil. - To evil. 1197 01:05:39,556 --> 01:05:40,350 Mmm. 1198 01:05:40,384 --> 01:05:43,284 [indistinct chatter] 1199 01:05:43,318 --> 01:05:45,872 - Votes on this. Keep? - Yes. 1200 01:05:45,907 --> 01:05:48,530 - Whoa! - Majority vote. It lives. 1201 01:05:48,565 --> 01:05:50,636 - I think so. - Next one. 1202 01:05:53,673 --> 01:05:56,331 This is imported, man. I'm not messing about. 1203 01:05:56,366 --> 01:05:59,300 [instrumental music] 1204 01:05:59,334 --> 01:06:01,198 - Fuck, no! - Oh! That's bad. 1205 01:06:01,233 --> 01:06:04,822 - No. - This is raping my ears. 1206 01:06:04,857 --> 01:06:06,341 - Kill. - Kill it. 1207 01:06:06,376 --> 01:06:08,136 - Kill. - Kill! 1208 01:06:08,171 --> 01:06:09,724 - Kill! - You do it this time. 1209 01:06:09,758 --> 01:06:10,932 - Kill! - Kill! 1210 01:06:10,967 --> 01:06:11,968 - Kill! - Kill! 1211 01:06:12,002 --> 01:06:14,729 - Kill! Kill! - Throw. 1212 01:06:14,763 --> 01:06:15,868 Here we go. 1213 01:06:15,902 --> 01:06:17,180 [cheering] 1214 01:06:17,214 --> 01:06:18,629 [laughing] 1215 01:06:18,664 --> 01:06:20,977 - Cracker. - Good shot, sir. 1216 01:06:21,011 --> 01:06:22,461 Right, what's this one called? 1217 01:06:22,495 --> 01:06:25,498 - Don't know. - Yeah, it's a bit scary. 1218 01:06:25,533 --> 01:06:27,742 - Cheers. - Here have some of this. 1219 01:06:27,776 --> 01:06:29,019 Alright. 1220 01:06:29,054 --> 01:06:30,607 [scoffs] 1221 01:06:30,641 --> 01:06:32,609 This is some Malawi-wowie, do you want some? 1222 01:06:32,643 --> 01:06:34,783 - Yeah. - Have a twig at that. 1223 01:06:34,818 --> 01:06:36,647 Does it matter what someone looks like? 1224 01:06:36,682 --> 01:06:39,512 Oh, right, says the woman who last week described Tori Amos 1225 01:06:39,547 --> 01:06:42,032 as having both the hair and future of a mammoth. 1226 01:06:42,067 --> 01:06:43,378 [laughing] 1227 01:06:43,413 --> 01:06:45,208 What's the band? What're they called? 1228 01:06:45,242 --> 01:06:47,727 - Mayonnaise. - Mayonnaise? 1229 01:06:47,762 --> 01:06:49,281 Who right now would go to their desk and write 1230 01:06:49,315 --> 01:06:51,317 "I love Mayonnaise?" 1231 01:06:51,352 --> 01:06:53,250 - Not me. - Kill it. 1232 01:06:53,285 --> 01:06:55,149 - Kill it! - Kill it! 1233 01:06:55,183 --> 01:06:57,220 - Kill it. - Kill. 1234 01:06:57,254 --> 01:06:58,773 Kill it. 1235 01:06:58,807 --> 01:07:00,499 - Kill! Kill! - Kill! Kill! 1236 01:07:00,533 --> 01:07:02,156 Time for your first blood, darling. 1237 01:07:02,190 --> 01:07:04,158 - Kill! Kill! - Kill! Kill! 1238 01:07:04,192 --> 01:07:05,366 - Kill! Kill! - Kill! Kill! 1239 01:07:05,400 --> 01:07:06,574 - Kill! - Kill! 1240 01:07:08,265 --> 01:07:10,888 You're so out of the loop, man. 1241 01:07:13,201 --> 01:07:15,962 - Big moment. - Go on, Dolly! 1242 01:07:18,931 --> 01:07:19,897 Throw. 1243 01:07:22,417 --> 01:07:24,005 [gunshot] 1244 01:07:24,040 --> 01:07:26,042 [all exclaiming] 1245 01:07:26,076 --> 01:07:28,113 - Nice! - Yes, Dolly. 1246 01:07:28,147 --> 01:07:30,253 I just shot Dad. 1247 01:07:30,287 --> 01:07:32,945 Nice work, Dolly. Yes! 1248 01:07:32,979 --> 01:07:34,015 Whoo-hoo! 1249 01:07:34,050 --> 01:07:35,051 [woman laughing] 1250 01:07:35,085 --> 01:07:38,019 [instrumental music] 1251 01:07:42,299 --> 01:07:44,094 ♪ Hit it 1252 01:07:44,129 --> 01:07:46,545 ♪ Ooh baby baby 1253 01:07:46,579 --> 01:07:48,098 ♪ Baby baby 1254 01:07:48,133 --> 01:07:50,100 ♪ Ooh baby baby 1255 01:07:50,135 --> 01:07:51,757 ♪ Bab baby baby.. 1256 01:07:51,791 --> 01:07:54,311 [crowd cheering] 1257 01:07:55,519 --> 01:07:56,555 - Dolly! - Hey, Dolly.. 1258 01:07:56,589 --> 01:07:58,315 Dolly! Dolly! 1259 01:08:00,076 --> 01:08:01,042 Come on. 1260 01:08:02,043 --> 01:08:03,044 Oh, right, up. 1261 01:08:03,079 --> 01:08:04,528 [crowd cheering] 1262 01:08:04,563 --> 01:08:07,773 Bit of love, bit of hate in the room there. 1263 01:08:07,807 --> 01:08:11,742 Thank you. Your hate is delicious. 1264 01:08:14,090 --> 01:08:17,023 [instrumental music] 1265 01:08:21,718 --> 01:08:22,684 [laughing] 1266 01:08:22,719 --> 01:08:24,307 - Whoo! - Oh, hey! 1267 01:08:24,341 --> 01:08:26,067 Cheers! 1268 01:08:26,102 --> 01:08:29,691 And now to the most hotly contested award of the night. 1269 01:08:29,726 --> 01:08:34,006 Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's Arsehole of the Year. 1270 01:08:34,040 --> 01:08:36,215 And in a year packed with contenders 1271 01:08:36,250 --> 01:08:40,771 the winner proves that feminism really is making advances. 1272 01:08:40,806 --> 01:08:44,085 The woman who suggested the world would be a better place 1273 01:08:44,120 --> 01:08:46,260 if Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam 1274 01:08:46,294 --> 01:08:49,159 ripped off another idea from Kurt Cobain 1275 01:08:49,194 --> 01:08:52,645 and shot himself to death. 1276 01:08:52,680 --> 01:08:54,406 It's Dolly Wilde! 1277 01:08:54,440 --> 01:08:55,890 ♪ I'm an asshole 1278 01:08:55,924 --> 01:08:59,065 ♪ He's an asshole what an asshole ♪ 1279 01:08:59,100 --> 01:09:00,584 ♪ I'm an asshole 1280 01:09:00,619 --> 01:09:03,380 ♪ He's the world's biggest asshole.. ♪ 1281 01:09:03,415 --> 01:09:06,556 [audience cheering] 1282 01:09:08,109 --> 01:09:11,112 Sit on my face! 1283 01:09:11,147 --> 01:09:14,771 Sit on your own goddamn face. I'm too busy. 1284 01:09:14,805 --> 01:09:16,152 [laughs] 1285 01:09:16,186 --> 01:09:18,361 Whoo! 1286 01:09:18,395 --> 01:09:20,363 Ladies and gentlemen, Dolly Wilde 1287 01:09:20,397 --> 01:09:22,848 Arsehole of the Year. 1288 01:09:24,263 --> 01:09:26,817 ♪ I'm an asshole ♪ 1289 01:09:26,852 --> 01:09:28,647 Let's hear it once more for Dolly Wilde. 1290 01:09:28,681 --> 01:09:31,339 [audience cheering] 1291 01:09:36,724 --> 01:09:38,104 [audience applauding] 1292 01:09:38,139 --> 01:09:39,761 You're a good person, aren't you? 1293 01:09:39,796 --> 01:09:42,281 I definitely need some guidance. That's without a doubt. 1294 01:09:42,316 --> 01:09:43,455 [both laughing] 1295 01:09:43,489 --> 01:09:45,664 - Hello. - Got a light, dude? 1296 01:09:45,698 --> 01:09:47,079 Oh, are you smoking now, Duchess? 1297 01:09:47,113 --> 01:09:48,632 Yeah. 1298 01:09:48,667 --> 01:09:51,221 It's just, eh, most people tend to smoke 'em the, ah 1299 01:09:51,256 --> 01:09:52,533 the other way round. 1300 01:09:53,879 --> 01:09:55,087 There you go. 1301 01:09:56,882 --> 01:09:59,091 Aren't you going to congratulate me on my award? 1302 01:09:59,125 --> 01:10:00,472 I'm Arsehole of the Year. 1303 01:10:00,506 --> 01:10:02,474 Do you wish me to congratulate you on that? 1304 01:10:02,508 --> 01:10:03,820 I'm the best at a thing. 1305 01:10:03,854 --> 01:10:06,236 Well, then, I wholeheartedly congratulate you 1306 01:10:06,271 --> 01:10:08,100 on your peerless evil. 1307 01:10:08,134 --> 01:10:09,722 Thank you. 1308 01:10:09,757 --> 01:10:10,999 You think it's ignoble? 1309 01:10:11,034 --> 01:10:13,001 I'm a massive fan of your bullshit. 1310 01:10:13,036 --> 01:10:15,176 I think you are smashing it, hogwash-wise. 1311 01:10:15,211 --> 01:10:19,076 Mm. There's no greater rule than "Bitch gotta pay rent." 1312 01:10:19,111 --> 01:10:22,632 I've always preferred, in the end, "Say one true thing." 1313 01:10:25,531 --> 01:10:26,877 Okay. 1314 01:10:28,534 --> 01:10:29,949 I am in love with you. 1315 01:10:31,296 --> 01:10:32,780 I am in love with you. 1316 01:10:35,817 --> 01:10:36,749 What? 1317 01:10:36,784 --> 01:10:38,855 You want one true thing. 1318 01:10:42,099 --> 01:10:45,965 - Johanna. - Now, we should kiss. 1319 01:10:55,492 --> 01:10:57,080 That's not me, Duch. 1320 01:10:58,323 --> 01:10:59,979 That's not my way. 1321 01:11:07,124 --> 01:11:08,091 John? 1322 01:11:09,403 --> 01:11:10,852 Yeah, let's go. 1323 01:11:14,615 --> 01:11:17,480 Has St. Winifred's school choir had too much pop? 1324 01:11:18,688 --> 01:11:22,036 Ah. We must never forget that it's a miracle 1325 01:11:22,070 --> 01:11:24,866 when anyone gets anywhere from a bad post-code. 1326 01:11:26,834 --> 01:11:29,492 And we must always be respectful of miracles. 1327 01:11:29,526 --> 01:11:30,976 Ahh. 1328 01:11:32,702 --> 01:11:34,600 I'll be respectful, then. 1329 01:11:36,913 --> 01:11:39,087 [laughing] 1330 01:11:39,122 --> 01:11:40,951 Clever girl. 1331 01:11:41,676 --> 01:11:43,022 Whoo! 1332 01:11:46,198 --> 01:11:47,164 [sighs] 1333 01:11:48,511 --> 01:11:50,029 [exhales] 1334 01:12:09,221 --> 01:12:10,671 One true thing? 1335 01:12:12,328 --> 01:12:16,124 Okay, I'll write one true thing. 1336 01:12:16,159 --> 01:12:19,093 [instrumental music] 1337 01:12:28,171 --> 01:12:31,105 [keys clacking] 1338 01:12:44,705 --> 01:12:47,017 "The real John Kite. 1339 01:12:47,052 --> 01:12:50,573 "He finally opens up over his heartbreaking childhood 1340 01:12:50,607 --> 01:12:52,920 "his mother's suicide 1341 01:12:52,954 --> 01:12:55,440 "and the origins of that iconic coat 1342 01:12:55,474 --> 01:12:58,650 by the journalist that knows him best, Dolly Wilde." 1343 01:12:58,684 --> 01:13:00,203 Fuck. Exclusive. 1344 01:13:01,307 --> 01:13:02,826 You've got a front cover. 1345 01:13:05,381 --> 01:13:08,314 [music continues] 1346 01:13:11,973 --> 01:13:13,975 [school bell ringing] 1347 01:13:19,464 --> 01:13:20,844 Ask me. 1348 01:13:21,880 --> 01:13:23,502 - No. - Ask me. 1349 01:13:23,537 --> 01:13:24,710 No. 1350 01:13:24,745 --> 01:13:27,541 Please, Krissi, be happy for me. 1351 01:13:27,575 --> 01:13:28,783 I won a thing. 1352 01:13:28,818 --> 01:13:30,129 And, by the way 1353 01:13:30,164 --> 01:13:32,546 I made a man who went to university at Cambridge 1354 01:13:32,580 --> 01:13:34,375 ejaculate into my comprehensively 1355 01:13:34,410 --> 01:13:35,825 educated genitals. 1356 01:13:35,859 --> 01:13:37,930 Con-spunkulations. 1357 01:13:37,965 --> 01:13:40,346 Do you wanna ask me about my date with John Kellog 1358 01:13:40,381 --> 01:13:41,762 and his bag? 1359 01:13:43,142 --> 01:13:44,765 After I promised on our mother's life 1360 01:13:44,799 --> 01:13:47,699 that I would never ever tell anyone 1361 01:13:47,733 --> 01:13:50,184 we drove 15 miles out into the countryside 1362 01:13:50,218 --> 01:13:53,394 blocked out all the windows with towels.. 1363 01:13:53,429 --> 01:13:54,671 ...and kissed. 1364 01:13:54,706 --> 01:13:56,293 Our dark queen. 1365 01:13:56,328 --> 01:13:57,294 [chuckling] 1366 01:13:58,261 --> 01:13:59,607 I won! 1367 01:13:59,642 --> 01:14:00,643 [students cheering] 1368 01:14:00,677 --> 01:14:02,817 I'm Arsehole of the Year! 1369 01:14:04,612 --> 01:14:06,959 [indistinct chatter] 1370 01:14:08,305 --> 01:14:10,446 I woke up in London. 1371 01:14:10,480 --> 01:14:12,931 I'm too sexual for this room. 1372 01:14:13,828 --> 01:14:16,279 Johanna, enough. 1373 01:14:16,313 --> 01:14:19,213 This delinquency phase, it's just not working. 1374 01:14:19,247 --> 01:14:22,458 - You need to choose. - Oh! 1375 01:14:22,492 --> 01:14:23,907 You're right. 1376 01:14:24,839 --> 01:14:26,462 So I resign. 1377 01:14:26,496 --> 01:14:27,842 - Oh, no! - No. 1378 01:14:27,877 --> 01:14:29,292 No, Johanna. 1379 01:14:29,326 --> 01:14:31,087 [cheering] 1380 01:14:31,121 --> 01:14:34,090 Class, take out your "Taming of the Shrew." 1381 01:14:34,124 --> 01:14:36,023 [cheering] 1382 01:14:37,334 --> 01:14:38,819 ♪ Oh oh-oh 1383 01:14:40,337 --> 01:14:41,338 Johanna. 1384 01:14:41,373 --> 01:14:43,375 ♪ Oh oh-oh-oh 1385 01:14:43,409 --> 01:14:44,756 Johanna, stop. 1386 01:14:44,790 --> 01:14:46,378 Stop. 1387 01:14:46,412 --> 01:14:49,761 No offense, but Patti Smith didn't keep getting harassed 1388 01:14:49,795 --> 01:14:51,901 to take the gerbil home at weekends. 1389 01:14:51,935 --> 01:14:54,110 I'm going to get my kicks while I'm still young. 1390 01:14:54,144 --> 01:14:55,525 My future turned up early. 1391 01:14:55,560 --> 01:14:57,113 I'm not going to keep it waiting. 1392 01:14:57,147 --> 01:15:00,116 The future can be awfully short, Johanna. 1393 01:15:01,807 --> 01:15:04,120 I haven't got anywhere else to go. 1394 01:15:13,370 --> 01:15:14,337 Johanna? 1395 01:15:19,515 --> 01:15:21,171 I don't want to look at you, Johanna. 1396 01:15:21,206 --> 01:15:22,587 No, I don't want to look at you, Johanna. 1397 01:15:22,621 --> 01:15:24,036 - I'm sick of it. - What? 1398 01:15:24,071 --> 01:15:26,694 Six months ago, you were a happy girl actually 1399 01:15:26,729 --> 01:15:28,385 being useful around the house. 1400 01:15:28,420 --> 01:15:30,733 And now I've got him telling me that 1401 01:15:30,767 --> 01:15:32,286 you've cock-blocked his career. 1402 01:15:32,320 --> 01:15:34,115 - I never said that. - Him in tears... 1403 01:15:34,150 --> 01:15:35,945 To be clear, they were intellectually justified 1404 01:15:35,979 --> 01:15:37,394 tears of rage. 1405 01:15:37,429 --> 01:15:38,706 ...saying that you've treated him like a.. 1406 01:15:38,741 --> 01:15:40,121 - An indolent hobbyist. - Yeah. 1407 01:15:40,156 --> 01:15:42,227 And, and now your teacher's on the phone 1408 01:15:42,261 --> 01:15:44,160 saying that you've resigned. 1409 01:15:44,194 --> 01:15:45,471 So my question to you, Johanna 1410 01:15:45,506 --> 01:15:47,439 is when did you lose your fucking mind? 1411 01:15:47,473 --> 01:15:50,580 I guess it was around the time I stopped being your daughter 1412 01:15:50,615 --> 01:15:51,581 and became the rent. 1413 01:15:51,616 --> 01:15:52,996 The same time I like to think 1414 01:15:53,031 --> 01:15:55,067 you became absolutely disqualified 1415 01:15:55,102 --> 01:15:56,552 from criticizing me. 1416 01:15:56,586 --> 01:15:59,589 We're your parents. We can always criticize ya. 1417 01:15:59,624 --> 01:16:03,593 No, not if you aren't actually doing any parenting of me 1418 01:16:03,628 --> 01:16:07,321 and you are selling cars I bought in order to fund 1419 01:16:07,355 --> 01:16:10,462 "Springtime for Hitler, A Jazz Odyssey." 1420 01:16:14,570 --> 01:16:18,643 Oh, my God. There's still no one saying, "Sorry, Johanna." 1421 01:16:18,677 --> 01:16:20,196 Or, "Well done, Johanna." 1422 01:16:20,230 --> 01:16:22,474 Or, "Things must have been hard for you, Johanna." 1423 01:16:22,508 --> 01:16:25,166 Do you think all this is normal? Do you think I'm normal? 1424 01:16:25,201 --> 01:16:27,859 Well, it's not. None of this is normal. 1425 01:16:27,893 --> 01:16:29,688 I invested that money in our future. 1426 01:16:29,723 --> 01:16:31,863 It's not our future. 1427 01:16:31,897 --> 01:16:35,591 You're not the future. Don't you understand? 1428 01:16:35,625 --> 01:16:37,972 Do you know what happened when I played them your record, dad? 1429 01:16:38,007 --> 01:16:40,423 They shot it with a gun. 1430 01:16:40,457 --> 01:16:42,598 They laughed at it first, obviously. 1431 01:16:42,632 --> 01:16:46,256 And then they threw it off a roof and I shot it. 1432 01:16:48,189 --> 01:16:49,466 Don't you get it? 1433 01:16:49,501 --> 01:16:52,331 I'm the future. I'm paying for everything. 1434 01:16:52,366 --> 01:16:56,025 Let's see how you manage without me, Ringo, Ringo and Ringo. 1435 01:16:56,059 --> 01:16:57,889 Fuck you all. 1436 01:17:01,030 --> 01:17:03,411 [footsteps thudding] 1437 01:17:03,446 --> 01:17:05,034 Whoo! 1438 01:17:05,068 --> 01:17:07,070 [indistinct chatter] 1439 01:17:07,105 --> 01:17:10,867 Everyone, look who's come to join our happy tribe. 1440 01:17:10,902 --> 01:17:12,144 Yes! 1441 01:17:12,179 --> 01:17:14,043 It's the Arsehole of the Year. 1442 01:17:14,077 --> 01:17:15,665 Let's get a drink. Get a drink. 1443 01:17:15,700 --> 01:17:17,391 Emilia.. 1444 01:17:17,425 --> 01:17:19,945 Natasha, Sasha. 1445 01:17:19,980 --> 01:17:21,326 This is Dolly Wilde. 1446 01:17:21,360 --> 01:17:24,536 - She's trouble. - Yes, I am trouble. 1447 01:17:24,570 --> 01:17:25,986 Come, join us, trouble. 1448 01:17:26,020 --> 01:17:27,608 In fact, make that a double for the trouble. 1449 01:17:27,643 --> 01:17:29,472 - Trouble. - There you are. 1450 01:17:29,506 --> 01:17:31,094 Dolly Wilde. 1451 01:17:31,129 --> 01:17:32,786 How would you like to become a full-time staff member 1452 01:17:32,820 --> 01:17:35,029 of D-and-ME? 1453 01:17:35,064 --> 01:17:36,341 That's 19 grand a year. 1454 01:17:36,375 --> 01:17:39,378 The youngest person ever to join the staff. 1455 01:17:41,277 --> 01:17:42,796 I accept. 1456 01:17:42,830 --> 01:17:45,074 Oh. Come here, baby. 1457 01:17:50,044 --> 01:17:52,391 - Mm. - I feel sick. 1458 01:17:52,426 --> 01:17:54,359 [laughing] 1459 01:17:54,393 --> 01:17:55,636 Here it comes. 1460 01:17:55,671 --> 01:17:58,604 [all cheering] 1461 01:18:01,124 --> 01:18:04,265 [indistinct chatter] 1462 01:18:05,784 --> 01:18:08,925 Okay, Tony, it's your turn. Come on. 1463 01:18:08,960 --> 01:18:11,756 Okay, so never have I ever given a wank. 1464 01:18:11,790 --> 01:18:15,345 Liar. Two words, Rupert Osborne. 1465 01:18:15,380 --> 01:18:18,003 I was the wankee, not the wanker. 1466 01:18:18,038 --> 01:18:19,902 No, I wouldn't wank off a day boy. 1467 01:18:19,936 --> 01:18:21,938 Never have I ever given a wank. 1468 01:18:21,973 --> 01:18:23,319 Well, it's your turn, Dolly. 1469 01:18:23,353 --> 01:18:24,838 - Mm. - Go on. 1470 01:18:24,872 --> 01:18:28,531 Never have I ever gone on holiday. 1471 01:18:28,565 --> 01:18:29,566 [laughs] 1472 01:18:29,601 --> 01:18:32,155 Why would you never go on holiday? 1473 01:18:32,190 --> 01:18:34,054 Because we were poor. 1474 01:18:35,469 --> 01:18:37,264 - Oh. - Forget that one. 1475 01:18:37,298 --> 01:18:39,749 Forget that one. No, I have a better one. 1476 01:18:39,784 --> 01:18:41,095 Uh.. 1477 01:18:41,958 --> 01:18:44,478 Never have I ever.. 1478 01:18:45,962 --> 01:18:47,412 ...kissed a girl. 1479 01:18:47,446 --> 01:18:49,034 Ah. Ah. 1480 01:18:50,622 --> 01:18:53,521 - Do you want to kiss a girl? - Yes. 1481 01:18:54,730 --> 01:18:55,800 - No way. - Ooh. 1482 01:18:55,834 --> 01:18:57,940 - Hi. - Oh, no. 1483 01:18:57,974 --> 01:19:00,701 - Oh. - Hello. 1484 01:19:00,736 --> 01:19:03,600 - Oh! See, I told you. - Get in. Get in. 1485 01:19:03,635 --> 01:19:05,016 There he is. 1486 01:19:05,050 --> 01:19:07,501 Baby, you've gotta get in here. 1487 01:19:07,535 --> 01:19:08,882 Everything's happening in here now. 1488 01:19:08,916 --> 01:19:10,090 Okay. 1489 01:19:12,126 --> 01:19:14,439 I'll improvise. 1490 01:19:14,473 --> 01:19:17,373 I'll be back in a mo. A sex mo. 1491 01:19:17,407 --> 01:19:19,064 [chuckling] 1492 01:19:19,099 --> 01:19:21,757 [indistinct chatter] 1493 01:19:21,791 --> 01:19:22,965 - Oh! - Oh. 1494 01:19:45,435 --> 01:19:48,680 I still can't see why we're giving her a staff job. 1495 01:19:48,714 --> 01:19:50,751 Just 'cause Tony likes a little bit of rough? 1496 01:19:50,786 --> 01:19:52,615 It took me four years to get on the staff. 1497 01:19:52,649 --> 01:19:55,514 - She's good for circulation. - Not if she sits on your lap. 1498 01:19:55,549 --> 01:19:56,515 [laughing] 1499 01:19:56,550 --> 01:19:58,276 - Would you do her? - Well.. 1500 01:19:58,310 --> 01:19:59,553 I'd have to lay out the terms and conditions 1501 01:19:59,587 --> 01:20:01,175 but, yes, I would do her 1502 01:20:01,210 --> 01:20:02,659 but I wouldn't let her suck me off. 1503 01:20:02,694 --> 01:20:07,112 - Too chatty. She might bite. - Uh! I like her. 1504 01:20:07,147 --> 01:20:09,943 Mental girls from council estates. 1505 01:20:09,977 --> 01:20:11,323 - Ah! - That is my thing. 1506 01:20:11,358 --> 01:20:15,189 I take something in the dirt, I help it grow. 1507 01:20:15,224 --> 01:20:16,673 - Pygmalion. - Yes. 1508 01:20:16,708 --> 01:20:19,090 Just like Pygmalion, but with a real pig. 1509 01:20:19,124 --> 01:20:20,677 - Oh! - Oh! 1510 01:20:20,712 --> 01:20:23,404 Do you know who Pygmalion's father is? 1511 01:20:23,439 --> 01:20:25,648 - No. Who? - Mayonnaise. 1512 01:20:25,682 --> 01:20:28,133 Oh, Mayonnaise! 1513 01:20:28,168 --> 01:20:30,860 Tony, you gonna hold the mayo tonight? 1514 01:20:30,895 --> 01:20:33,311 Well, I might have mayo on the side, you know. 1515 01:20:33,345 --> 01:20:36,245 I like to offer a comprehensive education. 1516 01:20:37,177 --> 01:20:38,626 Educate me? 1517 01:20:41,733 --> 01:20:43,700 Educate me? 1518 01:20:43,735 --> 01:20:46,772 Let's get one thing straight right now. 1519 01:20:46,807 --> 01:20:49,051 I'm a lady sex pirate 1520 01:20:49,085 --> 01:20:52,364 a swash-fuckler, a lustketeer. 1521 01:20:52,399 --> 01:20:54,746 Where I come from, you make your own amusement. 1522 01:20:54,780 --> 01:20:57,473 You rinse every last drop out of every last day 1523 01:20:57,507 --> 01:20:59,924 because there isn't anything else. 1524 01:20:59,958 --> 01:21:03,720 I've been chased and humiliated and been utterly alone 1525 01:21:03,755 --> 01:21:06,689 and I still got up, put on my lipstick 1526 01:21:06,723 --> 01:21:10,486 and wrote every last one of you motherfuckers off the page. 1527 01:21:10,520 --> 01:21:13,144 "John Kite isn't a person but a whole world." 1528 01:21:13,178 --> 01:21:15,249 At least I meant that. 1529 01:21:15,284 --> 01:21:18,011 None of you mean anything that you write. 1530 01:21:18,045 --> 01:21:21,877 You're all just little boys smashing things up. 1531 01:21:21,911 --> 01:21:25,190 I'm 16 and three quarters, and I'm too old this. 1532 01:21:26,605 --> 01:21:27,572 Tony? 1533 01:21:28,538 --> 01:21:29,677 Tony? 1534 01:21:30,644 --> 01:21:31,887 [chuckling] 1535 01:21:31,921 --> 01:21:34,717 I am not your bit of rough. 1536 01:21:34,751 --> 01:21:37,927 You were my bit of posh. 1537 01:21:37,962 --> 01:21:42,069 And you are all nothing on the shoes of my father 1538 01:21:42,104 --> 01:21:45,693 for I am the bastard son of Brendan Behan 1539 01:21:45,728 --> 01:21:49,663 and one day, you will all bow down to me! 1540 01:21:49,697 --> 01:21:52,631 [instrumental music] 1541 01:22:01,951 --> 01:22:04,885 [vocalizing] 1542 01:22:14,377 --> 01:22:15,827 Is this home, love? 1543 01:22:18,002 --> 01:22:19,141 Yeah. 1544 01:22:20,728 --> 01:22:21,867 Thanks. 1545 01:22:27,287 --> 01:22:30,428 [car engine revving] 1546 01:22:39,644 --> 01:22:40,990 [door opens] 1547 01:22:41,025 --> 01:22:42,336 [door squeaking] 1548 01:22:45,581 --> 01:22:46,720 [exhales] 1549 01:22:48,377 --> 01:22:49,585 Where're you going? 1550 01:22:49,619 --> 01:22:50,793 [Krissi grunts] 1551 01:22:52,139 --> 01:22:53,692 Away from you. 1552 01:22:53,727 --> 01:22:54,900 Krissi. 1553 01:23:03,806 --> 01:23:05,187 [door closes] 1554 01:23:36,563 --> 01:23:39,635 [footsteps approaching] 1555 01:23:41,637 --> 01:23:44,088 John Kite keeps calling you. 1556 01:23:44,122 --> 01:23:45,606 He left a message for you. 1557 01:23:46,504 --> 01:23:49,093 "His worst song is Alison. 1558 01:23:49,127 --> 01:23:51,060 "The best Beatle is Paul. 1559 01:23:51,095 --> 01:23:55,237 "In a sweet shop he would spend a pound on pineapple rock. 1560 01:23:55,271 --> 01:23:59,103 "I apologize to Johanna for not ending the interview there. 1561 01:23:59,137 --> 01:24:02,692 I should not have burdened her with my friendship." 1562 01:24:05,247 --> 01:24:07,145 [sobbing] 1563 01:24:07,180 --> 01:24:09,009 Oh, God, mum, what do I do? 1564 01:24:10,355 --> 01:24:13,496 [baby crying] 1565 01:24:14,118 --> 01:24:15,636 [sighing] 1566 01:24:15,671 --> 01:24:16,844 Sorry. 1567 01:24:18,881 --> 01:24:21,332 [baby crying] 1568 01:24:26,061 --> 01:24:28,373 [sighs] 1569 01:24:34,172 --> 01:24:35,553 Hello. 1570 01:24:37,900 --> 01:24:38,866 Hello. 1571 01:24:40,144 --> 01:24:41,455 Anyone? 1572 01:24:44,596 --> 01:24:47,737 [instrumental music] 1573 01:25:02,925 --> 01:25:07,964 ♪ You blow like the wind in my sail ♪ 1574 01:25:07,999 --> 01:25:11,899 ♪ You cut like the knife in my hand ♪ 1575 01:25:14,833 --> 01:25:18,009 ♪ And now you're bringing me up ♪ 1576 01:25:18,043 --> 01:25:21,219 ♪ Or down 1577 01:25:21,254 --> 01:25:23,842 ♪ I cannot 1578 01:25:23,877 --> 01:25:28,744 ♪ Decide if I'm lost or I'm found ♪ 1579 01:25:28,778 --> 01:25:33,921 ♪ Perhaps it's a sweet mistake ♪ 1580 01:25:35,647 --> 01:25:37,097 ♪ You've got to give me 1581 01:25:37,132 --> 01:25:42,171 ♪ Some kind of clue 1582 01:25:42,206 --> 01:25:44,725 ♪ What to do 1583 01:25:44,760 --> 01:25:46,796 ♪ I'm out of ideas 1584 01:25:46,831 --> 01:25:49,834 ♪ Yet I'm still 1585 01:25:49,868 --> 01:25:54,804 ♪ Drinking the hours away 1586 01:25:56,530 --> 01:25:59,257 ♪ But the days 1587 01:25:59,292 --> 01:26:05,436 ♪ Don't hold much truth 1588 01:26:07,162 --> 01:26:09,681 ♪ Without the nights 1589 01:26:09,716 --> 01:26:14,238 ♪ I need with you.. 1590 01:26:14,272 --> 01:26:15,411 [gasps] 1591 01:26:15,446 --> 01:26:16,930 [clatters] 1592 01:26:24,109 --> 01:26:25,973 [whimpering] 1593 01:26:26,008 --> 01:26:26,974 Johanna. 1594 01:26:28,597 --> 01:26:29,770 Johanna. 1595 01:26:32,117 --> 01:26:33,084 Johanna! 1596 01:26:36,639 --> 01:26:39,780 [baby crying] 1597 01:26:41,437 --> 01:26:43,819 I really can't believe it, Malcolm. 1598 01:26:43,853 --> 01:26:46,615 -Right, here we go. - Wow! 1599 01:26:46,649 --> 01:26:50,239 - Where's he gone? - She turned her dog blue. 1600 01:26:50,274 --> 01:26:52,552 If you're very, very good, I'll show.. 1601 01:26:52,586 --> 01:26:54,726 We've screwed this up. 1602 01:26:55,693 --> 01:26:57,902 What are we gonna do, bab? 1603 01:26:57,936 --> 01:26:59,006 [door opens] 1604 01:26:59,041 --> 01:27:01,250 [door squeaking] 1605 01:27:01,285 --> 01:27:03,183 Go on in there, love. 1606 01:27:03,218 --> 01:27:04,909 Please enter the adjacent ward. 1607 01:27:04,943 --> 01:27:07,705 Please enter the adjacent ward, please. 1608 01:27:09,948 --> 01:27:11,916 Have you got it there? You have ain't ya. 1609 01:27:11,950 --> 01:27:13,918 - Is it behind your ear? - I haven't got it. 1610 01:27:13,952 --> 01:27:15,264 Alright, let me have a look. Here we go. 1611 01:27:15,299 --> 01:27:16,541 Have I got another one? 1612 01:27:16,576 --> 01:27:18,060 I think I've got another one here. 1613 01:27:27,759 --> 01:27:30,106 Mum, please talk to me. 1614 01:27:35,560 --> 01:27:38,805 You were my magic, happy girl. 1615 01:27:40,427 --> 01:27:41,980 You used to be. 1616 01:27:45,329 --> 01:27:47,503 Happy girls shouldn't talk to... 1617 01:27:49,160 --> 01:27:50,299 [sighs] 1618 01:27:50,334 --> 01:27:54,096 ...sad, old, s -- scared women. 1619 01:28:00,275 --> 01:28:01,414 You might catch it. 1620 01:28:01,448 --> 01:28:02,829 [sniffles] 1621 01:28:10,526 --> 01:28:12,045 Budge up, bab. 1622 01:28:22,849 --> 01:28:23,815 [sighs] 1623 01:28:30,857 --> 01:28:33,894 Bab, don't hurt yourself. 1624 01:28:33,929 --> 01:28:36,794 Bastard world will do that for you anyway. 1625 01:28:43,214 --> 01:28:44,733 Don't hurt yourself. 1626 01:28:45,872 --> 01:28:46,666 Sorry. 1627 01:28:46,700 --> 01:28:49,841 [mellow music] 1628 01:28:55,399 --> 01:28:56,469 There she is. 1629 01:28:56,503 --> 01:28:58,609 Mum! Johanna! 1630 01:28:58,643 --> 01:29:00,818 Hiya, bab. 1631 01:29:00,852 --> 01:29:01,819 Aw. 1632 01:29:01,853 --> 01:29:03,614 - How are you, love? - Yeah, alright. 1633 01:29:03,648 --> 01:29:04,787 - Alright? - Yeah. 1634 01:29:04,822 --> 01:29:06,686 - There you go. - Hello. 1635 01:29:06,720 --> 01:29:09,861 - Mm-hmm. - Hello. 1636 01:29:09,896 --> 01:29:10,966 Hello. 1637 01:29:16,868 --> 01:29:19,077 He's cool, isn't he? He's not Anthony. 1638 01:29:19,112 --> 01:29:22,080 Can I call you Tone? No. Tony. 1639 01:29:22,115 --> 01:29:24,289 Right, okay, Tony. Are you watching? 1640 01:29:24,324 --> 01:29:25,429 "U2." 1641 01:29:25,463 --> 01:29:26,913 What? 1642 01:29:26,947 --> 01:29:29,640 You've written what looks like "U2" on your arm. 1643 01:29:29,674 --> 01:29:31,780 No, I -- I... 1644 01:29:31,814 --> 01:29:33,437 I didn't mean to. The... 1645 01:29:33,471 --> 01:29:35,024 It's a typo. 1646 01:29:35,059 --> 01:29:37,924 They're -- they're just meant to be bold, agonized slashes. 1647 01:29:37,958 --> 01:29:41,030 It looks like you tried to kill yourself for Bono. 1648 01:29:42,066 --> 01:29:43,032 [chuckles] 1649 01:29:43,654 --> 01:29:45,345 Alright. 1650 01:29:45,380 --> 01:29:47,968 Now let's take the bastards into a jazz break. 1651 01:29:50,074 --> 01:29:53,008 [drumbeat] 1652 01:29:55,735 --> 01:29:58,876 [mellow music] 1653 01:30:07,471 --> 01:30:09,990 [vocalizing] 1654 01:30:22,071 --> 01:30:23,279 [sighs] 1655 01:30:28,388 --> 01:30:30,701 Awake, Wall of Gods. 1656 01:30:30,735 --> 01:30:33,669 Speak, feel, breathe, live. 1657 01:30:33,704 --> 01:30:37,362 Johanna, we've missed you. 1658 01:30:37,397 --> 01:30:38,709 It's good to be awake again. 1659 01:30:38,743 --> 01:30:41,850 What month even is it? What have we missed? 1660 01:30:41,884 --> 01:30:45,647 I became evil, but it's July now and I'm over it. 1661 01:30:45,681 --> 01:30:48,960 - That's wonderful. - Come on, give me five. 1662 01:30:50,375 --> 01:30:52,308 [knocking on door] 1663 01:30:58,832 --> 01:31:01,835 I'm applying for the job of flatmate. 1664 01:31:01,870 --> 01:31:04,942 Well, I want to apply for trainee writer 1665 01:31:04,976 --> 01:31:07,462 on whatever it's called, your mag. 1666 01:31:07,496 --> 01:31:09,705 Okay, you're hired. 1667 01:31:10,844 --> 01:31:12,190 - My going word rate-- - Oh, get off. 1668 01:31:12,225 --> 01:31:16,091 Hey, ow! Get off! Krissi! Krissi! Stop it. 1669 01:31:16,125 --> 01:31:19,128 You were a nightmare. Don't do it again. 1670 01:31:19,163 --> 01:31:23,167 And it stinks of smoke, and mum's gonna kill you. 1671 01:31:23,201 --> 01:31:25,410 Hello. Is that Rob Allan, lead singer of The Hallows? 1672 01:31:25,445 --> 01:31:27,309 It's Dolly Wilde here. 1673 01:31:27,343 --> 01:31:29,000 You've got some nerve calling me. 1674 01:31:29,035 --> 01:31:30,588 Have you any idea what you did? 1675 01:31:30,623 --> 01:31:33,729 Yes, yes, yes. I know. 1676 01:31:33,764 --> 01:31:35,835 That's actually why I'm ringing. 1677 01:31:35,869 --> 01:31:38,665 I wanted to apologize to you for the review. 1678 01:31:38,700 --> 01:31:40,978 That you are, "A shit-wizard 1679 01:31:41,012 --> 01:31:45,672 a weasel in a waistcoat making musical lime scale." 1680 01:31:45,707 --> 01:31:49,262 Was wrong. I know that now. Bye. 1681 01:31:52,092 --> 01:31:53,369 [sighs] 1682 01:31:56,234 --> 01:31:59,859 ♪ I'll stand by you 1683 01:31:59,893 --> 01:32:03,241 ♪ I'll stand by you 1684 01:32:03,276 --> 01:32:06,762 ♪ Won't let nobody hurt you.. ♪♪ 1685 01:32:08,902 --> 01:32:10,732 Too old for the children's ward 1686 01:32:10,766 --> 01:32:12,285 too young for the adult ward. 1687 01:32:12,319 --> 01:32:15,875 Why 16 is the worst age to self-harm. 1688 01:32:15,909 --> 01:32:17,670 By Johanna Morrigan. 1689 01:32:17,704 --> 01:32:20,258 [vocalizing] 1690 01:32:31,649 --> 01:32:33,237 Johanna? 1691 01:32:40,037 --> 01:32:42,384 God, you're young. 1692 01:32:42,418 --> 01:32:44,213 [laughs] 1693 01:32:46,250 --> 01:32:47,734 Come on in. 1694 01:32:49,322 --> 01:32:53,740 No, I, I didn't think it was possible to laugh so much 1695 01:32:53,775 --> 01:32:54,948 given the subject matter 1696 01:32:54,983 --> 01:32:56,847 and cry, obviously, and laugh again. 1697 01:32:56,881 --> 01:32:58,400 And we were passing this around the office 1698 01:32:58,434 --> 01:33:00,229 like drugs or a baby. 1699 01:33:00,264 --> 01:33:02,542 This is what you should be writing. 1700 01:33:02,577 --> 01:33:03,923 Do you know what you'd look like 1701 01:33:03,957 --> 01:33:07,512 tearing apart records for the music press? 1702 01:33:07,547 --> 01:33:10,239 You look like an Olympic swimmer in a bathtub. 1703 01:33:10,274 --> 01:33:14,140 But this, this, we would like to run in the next issue. 1704 01:33:15,590 --> 01:33:19,490 Why, thank you. Thank you very much, ma'am. 1705 01:33:21,803 --> 01:33:25,323 And start you with a monthly column 1706 01:33:25,358 --> 01:33:27,084 like a monthly letter from you telling us 1707 01:33:27,118 --> 01:33:29,569 what you've been up to. Building a Girl. 1708 01:33:29,604 --> 01:33:32,296 Would you like that job? 1709 01:33:32,330 --> 01:33:37,059 Ma'am, I am more obligated than I can express. 1710 01:33:37,094 --> 01:33:41,098 And are you in fact pretending to be Elvis right now? 1711 01:33:41,132 --> 01:33:45,343 No. I -- I think this is me now. 1712 01:33:46,275 --> 01:33:47,483 For now. 1713 01:33:49,140 --> 01:33:51,487 Good. You're hired. 1714 01:33:51,522 --> 01:33:55,319 - Get out. I'm busy. - Okay. Thank you. 1715 01:33:56,458 --> 01:33:58,978 [upbeat music] 1716 01:34:10,230 --> 01:34:11,438 [sighs] 1717 01:34:26,626 --> 01:34:28,559 [indistinct chatter] 1718 01:34:33,219 --> 01:34:37,672 In the last week, I've apologized to 133 bands 1719 01:34:37,706 --> 01:34:40,813 for the bad reviews I've written about them. 1720 01:34:40,847 --> 01:34:42,987 But there is one person 1721 01:34:43,022 --> 01:34:46,957 to who I owe more than just, "I'm sorry." 1722 01:34:54,447 --> 01:34:55,897 John! 1723 01:34:58,244 --> 01:34:59,521 John. 1724 01:35:00,349 --> 01:35:02,144 Mr. Kite. 1725 01:35:12,637 --> 01:35:14,985 I promise I won't take more than one minute. 1726 01:35:15,019 --> 01:35:16,365 I will talk extra, extra fast. 1727 01:35:16,400 --> 01:35:18,195 I should never talk to you again. 1728 01:35:18,229 --> 01:35:20,197 I know. 1729 01:35:20,231 --> 01:35:24,684 I know. I am so sorry. I have two things for you. 1730 01:35:24,719 --> 01:35:26,513 This is the first. 1731 01:35:28,101 --> 01:35:30,414 My brother's Fanzine. 1732 01:35:33,555 --> 01:35:36,972 That's the original piece I wrote about you. 1733 01:35:37,007 --> 01:35:39,112 The one they wouldn't let me print. 1734 01:35:39,147 --> 01:35:42,046 That's how I really feel. 1735 01:35:43,979 --> 01:35:45,912 The other piece... 1736 01:35:47,051 --> 01:35:49,985 ...was a terrible, terrible mistake. 1737 01:35:50,020 --> 01:35:54,162 - Yeah, well, you sold me, babe. - I know. 1738 01:35:54,196 --> 01:35:58,373 That's why the other thing I want to give you is... 1739 01:35:58,407 --> 01:35:59,961 ...this. 1740 01:36:11,006 --> 01:36:14,492 - A tail? - It's my hair. 1741 01:36:17,737 --> 01:36:21,223 I tried to think of what would be the ultimate sacrifice 1742 01:36:21,258 --> 01:36:25,607 the thing I would be most upset about if I lost it. 1743 01:36:27,126 --> 01:36:28,921 Your hair? 1744 01:36:28,955 --> 01:36:32,545 I took something of you. 1745 01:36:32,579 --> 01:36:36,307 Now I'm giving you something of me. 1746 01:36:43,004 --> 01:36:44,350 Come on. 1747 01:36:45,972 --> 01:36:48,009 This is all very beautiful 1748 01:36:48,043 --> 01:36:50,839 but it's not really about me, is it? 1749 01:36:50,874 --> 01:36:53,324 It's about you. 1750 01:36:53,359 --> 01:36:56,707 And how in love with the world you are. 1751 01:36:56,741 --> 01:36:58,191 Don't stop. 1752 01:36:59,227 --> 01:37:01,056 It's your thing. 1753 01:37:03,162 --> 01:37:05,164 This is my embarrassment booth. 1754 01:37:05,198 --> 01:37:07,304 I'm sorry I tried to kiss you. 1755 01:37:08,823 --> 01:37:11,066 Listen, darling, we probably will kiss one day. 1756 01:37:11,101 --> 01:37:13,689 That's just statistics, baby. 1757 01:37:13,724 --> 01:37:17,245 How will we not end up falling terribly, terribly in love? 1758 01:37:19,212 --> 01:37:21,697 It's just the age thing now, babe. 1759 01:37:22,560 --> 01:37:23,976 Too young. 1760 01:37:24,010 --> 01:37:26,875 - I'm nearly 17. - Ha-ha! 1761 01:37:26,910 --> 01:37:28,532 Not you, Duch. Me. 1762 01:37:28,566 --> 01:37:32,294 I'm far too young for you. Hopeless. 1763 01:37:32,329 --> 01:37:34,918 Love is a big old beast. 1764 01:37:34,952 --> 01:37:37,575 And you're gonna be far too busy for it right now. 1765 01:37:37,610 --> 01:37:38,991 I am? 1766 01:37:39,025 --> 01:37:41,856 I'm gonna move to London when I turn 18. 1767 01:37:41,890 --> 01:37:43,892 Go to gay clubs. Buy a piano. 1768 01:37:43,927 --> 01:37:47,654 See? You need to go out there and have some adventures. 1769 01:37:47,689 --> 01:37:50,209 And I would, uh... 1770 01:37:51,727 --> 01:37:53,108 I would like to audition 1771 01:37:53,143 --> 01:37:55,697 for the role of your confidant. 1772 01:37:55,731 --> 01:37:58,562 I would like the honor of being your friend. 1773 01:37:59,701 --> 01:38:02,635 [instrumental music] 1774 01:38:04,154 --> 01:38:06,950 You should write a song about me. 1775 01:38:06,984 --> 01:38:08,503 No. 1776 01:38:08,537 --> 01:38:09,642 [chuckling] 1777 01:38:09,676 --> 01:38:12,783 You will. I'm incredibly inspiring. 1778 01:38:12,817 --> 01:38:15,337 Hm, nothing rhymes with Johanna. 1779 01:38:15,372 --> 01:38:19,065 Nothing rhymes with Layla or Prudence or Sharona. 1780 01:38:19,100 --> 01:38:20,584 Oh! 1781 01:38:25,347 --> 01:38:28,592 Come on. Let's go and fuck up the next ten years. 1782 01:38:28,626 --> 01:38:29,731 [chuckles] 1783 01:38:29,765 --> 01:38:31,560 I have school on Monday. 1784 01:38:31,595 --> 01:38:34,805 Then we'll fuck it up after 3:30 p.m. 1785 01:38:38,360 --> 01:38:41,501 [music continues] 1786 01:38:45,747 --> 01:38:49,406 So...what do you do when you build yourself 1787 01:38:49,440 --> 01:38:52,340 only to realize you built yourself with the wrong things? 1788 01:38:54,169 --> 01:38:56,413 You rip it up and start again. 1789 01:38:56,447 --> 01:38:58,311 Build up and tear down. 1790 01:38:58,346 --> 01:39:00,969 Endlessly, repetitively, unceasingly. 1791 01:39:01,004 --> 01:39:03,938 Invent, invent, invent. 1792 01:39:03,972 --> 01:39:05,629 What will eventually be you? 1793 01:39:05,663 --> 01:39:08,873 One day, you'll marvel over what you did. 1794 01:39:08,908 --> 01:39:10,289 Marvel how you tried to keep 1795 01:39:10,323 --> 01:39:12,843 the loud, drunken, laughing 1796 01:39:12,877 --> 01:39:14,396 cutting, panicking 1797 01:39:14,431 --> 01:39:17,744 unbearably present secret of yourself 1798 01:39:17,779 --> 01:39:20,575 when, really, you were just about as secret as the moon. 1799 01:39:22,163 --> 01:39:24,648 And as luminous under all those clothes. 1800 01:39:24,682 --> 01:39:28,548 And how, like all the best quests 1801 01:39:28,583 --> 01:39:32,242 you did it all for a girl, you. 1802 01:39:34,520 --> 01:39:37,488 [instrumental music] 1803 01:39:38,696 --> 01:39:40,595 ♪ I'm a mess I'm a prude ♪ 1804 01:39:40,629 --> 01:39:42,459 ♪ When I trip I don't touch the ground ♪ 1805 01:39:42,493 --> 01:39:44,564 ♪ I moved away came back around ♪ 1806 01:39:44,599 --> 01:39:46,325 ♪ Caught a plane just to figure out ♪ 1807 01:39:46,359 --> 01:39:48,258 ♪ Oh yeah 1808 01:39:48,292 --> 01:39:49,500 ♪ Oh yeah 1809 01:39:49,535 --> 01:39:51,640 ♪ How to rule the world 1810 01:39:51,675 --> 01:39:54,402 ♪ How to build a girl 1811 01:39:54,436 --> 01:39:56,473 ♪ Got a bucket list I got my plan ♪ 1812 01:39:56,507 --> 01:39:58,509 ♪ ...'cause I'm a man 1813 01:39:58,544 --> 01:40:00,684 ♪ I'm moving up but I get down ♪ 1814 01:40:00,718 --> 01:40:02,479 ♪ Every time I think about 1815 01:40:02,513 --> 01:40:04,343 ♪ Oh yeah 1816 01:40:04,377 --> 01:40:05,792 ♪ Oh yeah 1817 01:40:05,827 --> 01:40:07,622 ♪ How to rule the world 1818 01:40:07,656 --> 01:40:09,831 ♪ How to build a girl 1819 01:40:09,865 --> 01:40:13,145 ♪ It's time I try to be young and alive ♪ 1820 01:40:13,179 --> 01:40:14,870 ♪ Make my mark somehow 1821 01:40:14,905 --> 01:40:18,012 ♪ Make a mark make a mark take them out somehow ♪ 1822 01:40:18,046 --> 01:40:21,636 ♪ Get my keys take a drag have a drive ♪ 1823 01:40:21,670 --> 01:40:24,535 ♪ Watch me now 1824 01:40:24,570 --> 01:40:27,124 ♪ Watch me now watch me now ♪ 1825 01:40:27,159 --> 01:40:31,680 ♪ I'm out on my own lighting fires ♪ 1826 01:40:31,715 --> 01:40:35,650 ♪ Getting my kicks and desires ♪ 1827 01:40:37,134 --> 01:40:42,484 ♪ I wanna rule the world I wanna build a girl ♪ 1828 01:40:42,519 --> 01:40:44,245 ♪ However bad it ain't that bad ♪ 1829 01:40:44,279 --> 01:40:46,523 ♪ I've got shoes in the roof above my head ♪ 1830 01:40:46,557 --> 01:40:48,628 ♪ And all my friends we're all the same ♪ 1831 01:40:48,663 --> 01:40:50,458 ♪ Head screwed up but in the right place ♪ 1832 01:40:50,492 --> 01:40:53,737 ♪ Oh yeah oh yeah 1833 01:40:53,771 --> 01:40:55,842 ♪ We're trying to rule the world ♪ 1834 01:40:55,877 --> 01:40:57,810 ♪ Trying to build a girl 1835 01:40:57,844 --> 01:41:01,089 ♪ It's time I try to be young and alive ♪ 1836 01:41:01,124 --> 01:41:02,780 ♪ Make my mark somehow 1837 01:41:02,815 --> 01:41:05,921 ♪ Make a mark make a mark take them out somehow ♪ 1838 01:41:05,956 --> 01:41:09,580 ♪ Get my keys take a drag have a drive ♪ 1839 01:41:09,615 --> 01:41:11,858 ♪ Watch me now 1840 01:41:11,893 --> 01:41:13,688 ♪ Watch me now watch me now ♪ 1841 01:41:13,722 --> 01:41:15,483 ♪ Watch me now 1842 01:41:15,517 --> 01:41:19,556 ♪ I'm out on my own lighting fires ♪ 1843 01:41:19,590 --> 01:41:23,560 ♪ Getting my kicks and desires ♪ 1844 01:41:25,286 --> 01:41:29,980 ♪ I wanna rule the world 'cause I just built a girl ♪♪ 1845 01:41:31,947 --> 01:41:33,397 [instrumental music] 1846 01:41:33,432 --> 01:41:37,229 ♪ Oh oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh 1847 01:41:37,263 --> 01:41:40,439 ♪ Oh oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh 1848 01:41:40,473 --> 01:41:41,923 ♪ Hyah 1849 01:42:06,499 --> 01:42:07,914 ♪ Hyah 1850 01:42:15,405 --> 01:42:17,959 [music continues] 1851 01:42:23,171 --> 01:42:26,623 ♪ Oh oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh 1852 01:42:26,657 --> 01:42:30,627 ♪ Oh oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh 1853 01:42:40,775 --> 01:42:44,468 ♪ Oh oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh 1854 01:42:48,645 --> 01:42:52,476 ♪ Oh oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh 1855 01:43:01,105 --> 01:43:03,625 [music continues] 1856 01:43:48,325 --> 01:43:52,260 ♪ Oh oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh 1857 01:43:52,295 --> 01:43:53,710 ♪ Oh oh-oh ♪ 130519