All language subtitles for American Dad - 15x05 - Tapped Out.KILLERS.English.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,732 --> 00:00:04,532 What about this one, Steve? 2 00:00:04,534 --> 00:00:05,733 It's got a train on it. 3 00:00:05,735 --> 00:00:07,068 Oh, sick! 4 00:00:07,070 --> 00:00:08,270 That's the engine! 5 00:00:08,272 --> 00:00:09,671 That's the cool part. 6 00:00:09,673 --> 00:00:11,806 There's a caboose on your butt flap! 7 00:00:11,808 --> 00:00:13,675 For your choo-choo poo-poos! 8 00:00:13,677 --> 00:00:15,143 Mom, this is baby stuff. 9 00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:16,744 I'm going to go see what the guy's section has 10 00:00:16,746 --> 00:00:18,212 in the way of butt flaps. 11 00:00:18,214 --> 00:00:20,414 Great, that sounds fun. Come on, Klaus. 12 00:00:20,416 --> 00:00:23,217 Actually, I was thinking, it's a new year. 13 00:00:23,219 --> 00:00:25,219 Maybe it's time for a new me. 14 00:00:25,221 --> 00:00:28,490 A me who picks out his own clothes. 15 00:00:29,499 --> 00:00:30,825 Wow. 16 00:00:30,827 --> 00:00:33,561 You must be freaking out. 17 00:00:33,563 --> 00:00:37,231 Why? Sure, Steve's growing up, but he's my son. 18 00:00:37,233 --> 00:00:39,201 We'll always have a special connection. 19 00:00:39,209 --> 00:00:40,968 Bullshit! 20 00:00:40,970 --> 00:00:42,103 You're freaking! 21 00:00:42,105 --> 00:00:43,972 Mama's little boy is becoming a guy, 22 00:00:43,974 --> 00:00:46,040 and you can't handle it. 23 00:00:46,042 --> 00:00:48,642 It's just the natural order of things, Klaus. 24 00:00:48,644 --> 00:00:50,244 Boys become guys. 25 00:00:50,246 --> 00:00:54,182 Guys become big guys, and big guys can get it. 26 00:00:55,852 --> 00:00:58,252 You're being really cool right now. 27 00:00:58,254 --> 00:00:59,921 The secret to shopping at outlets 28 00:00:59,923 --> 00:01:02,857 is that only the newbies pick off the outer crust. 29 00:01:02,859 --> 00:01:04,592 You've got to dig for the gems. 30 00:01:04,594 --> 00:01:06,528 Put in some elbow grease. 31 00:01:06,530 --> 00:01:07,729 Polo sport? 32 00:01:07,731 --> 00:01:08,997 Uh, yes please. 33 00:01:08,999 --> 00:01:12,601 So big. So yellow. It's a keeper! 34 00:01:14,604 --> 00:01:16,004 - Mm? - Yes! 35 00:01:16,006 --> 00:01:17,872 - Mm? - Must have! 36 00:01:17,874 --> 00:01:19,473 - Mm? - Great piece! 37 00:01:19,475 --> 00:01:20,808 - Mm? - So you! 38 00:01:20,810 --> 00:01:22,944 My God, these deals are amazing. 39 00:01:22,946 --> 00:01:25,679 Tell me about it. I just got this phone for free! 40 00:01:25,681 --> 00:01:26,881 Nuh-uh. Where? 41 00:01:26,883 --> 00:01:28,816 That man's pocket. 42 00:01:28,818 --> 00:01:30,618 I found my new look. 43 00:01:30,620 --> 00:01:32,954 I hope you like it as much as I do! 44 00:01:39,696 --> 00:01:40,895 Oh, man. 45 00:01:40,897 --> 00:01:43,965 And I thought I liked the train! 46 00:01:43,967 --> 00:01:45,033 Mom? 47 00:01:45,035 --> 00:01:48,703 Uh... I love it? 48 00:01:48,705 --> 00:01:50,438 You... look like 49 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:53,742 you probably have a kid from a previous marriage! 50 00:01:57,647 --> 00:02:00,314 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 51 00:02:00,316 --> 00:02:04,052 ♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 52 00:02:04,054 --> 00:02:07,055 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 53 00:02:07,057 --> 00:02:11,293 ♪ And he's shinin' a salute to the American race ♪ 54 00:02:13,597 --> 00:02:16,598 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 55 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:19,133 - ♪ Good... ♪ - ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 56 00:02:19,135 --> 00:02:20,936 Aah! 57 00:02:21,805 --> 00:02:24,806 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 58 00:02:24,808 --> 00:02:27,208 _ 59 00:02:27,210 --> 00:02:29,277 Are you sure about this, Steve? 60 00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:31,746 As a group, we've always adhered 61 00:02:31,748 --> 00:02:33,481 to a low-profile philosophy. 62 00:02:33,483 --> 00:02:35,417 That's why we never make an impression! 63 00:02:35,419 --> 00:02:38,486 Every semester, people think we're transfer students. 64 00:02:38,488 --> 00:02:40,955 I'm looking to turn eyeballs, fellas. 65 00:02:40,957 --> 00:02:43,225 I'm talking 180 degrees... 66 00:02:43,227 --> 00:02:46,294 Fahrenheit because I'm red-hot! 67 00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:47,762 You guys coming? 68 00:02:47,764 --> 00:02:50,131 This is your time to shine. 69 00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:58,406 Smith! 70 00:02:58,415 --> 00:03:00,041 What are you wearing? 71 00:03:00,043 --> 00:03:02,777 Because it looks so incredible on you! 72 00:03:02,779 --> 00:03:05,741 Three cheers for his wonderful clothes! 73 00:03:06,116 --> 00:03:08,983 Steve, I thought you were a total slonch, 74 00:03:08,985 --> 00:03:10,718 but you're hella drich. 75 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:11,986 Okay, girls, clear out. 76 00:03:11,988 --> 00:03:13,387 You don't have to go to class, 77 00:03:13,389 --> 00:03:15,189 but you can't block my bulletin board. 78 00:03:15,758 --> 00:03:17,259 What's that for, Principal Lewis? 79 00:03:17,261 --> 00:03:19,127 Audition sheet for the school play. 80 00:03:19,129 --> 00:03:21,129 It doesn't really concern low-profile kids like... 81 00:03:21,131 --> 00:03:23,665 You are the star of my play! 82 00:03:23,667 --> 00:03:25,133 Tapout? You're the one! 83 00:03:25,135 --> 00:03:27,068 You're my Oedipus Rex! 84 00:03:27,070 --> 00:03:29,804 Auditions are canceled! 85 00:03:29,806 --> 00:03:32,140 Geez. What a reception. 86 00:03:32,142 --> 00:03:34,943 Smith, you're going to be the man this year. 87 00:03:34,945 --> 00:03:37,479 Don't make friends with the transfer students. 88 00:03:40,750 --> 00:03:41,749 Check. 89 00:03:41,751 --> 00:03:43,485 Check. 90 00:03:43,487 --> 00:03:44,752 Check. 91 00:03:44,754 --> 00:03:45,954 All secure. 92 00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:48,756 Klaus! 93 00:03:48,758 --> 00:03:50,492 Stop sneaking around! 94 00:03:50,494 --> 00:03:52,894 But I'm the silent hero of this house. 95 00:03:52,896 --> 00:03:54,696 No one asked you to do this. 96 00:03:54,698 --> 00:03:56,898 Sometimes, a hero has to do the things 97 00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:59,701 nobody asked him to do. 98 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,108 Oh, a light. 99 00:04:07,110 --> 00:04:08,376 Wow, it's gone. 100 00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:10,912 I'm seeing things. Must be tired. 101 00:04:11,663 --> 00:04:12,780 It's back! 102 00:04:12,782 --> 00:04:14,382 I should call for backup. 103 00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:15,783 But they won't come. 104 00:04:15,785 --> 00:04:17,651 They don't exist. 105 00:04:17,653 --> 00:04:19,120 I'll have to go alone. 106 00:04:22,993 --> 00:04:26,060 Oh, Francine, you milky marvel. 107 00:04:26,062 --> 00:04:28,663 You're a one-woman dairy farm. 108 00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:33,201 Francine, what are you doing?! 109 00:04:33,203 --> 00:04:35,203 - Sewing. - No, you're not! 110 00:04:35,205 --> 00:04:37,339 You have things on your boobs! 111 00:04:37,341 --> 00:04:38,540 A sewing machine. 112 00:04:38,542 --> 00:04:40,875 No. 113 00:04:40,877 --> 00:04:42,944 Okay, it's a breast pump. 114 00:04:42,946 --> 00:04:45,213 I pump a little breast milk now and then 115 00:04:45,215 --> 00:04:47,015 and sneak it into Steve's food. 116 00:04:47,017 --> 00:04:48,616 A little?! 117 00:04:48,618 --> 00:04:51,285 You've got the pump turned all the way up to "thirsty boy"! 118 00:04:51,287 --> 00:04:53,487 Steve needs it for his health, 119 00:04:53,489 --> 00:04:55,957 and it's not like I'm doing it in the park. 120 00:04:55,959 --> 00:04:58,292 No, you're doing it in a secret bunker. 121 00:04:58,294 --> 00:05:02,163 A shame dungeon because you know it's wrong! 122 00:05:02,165 --> 00:05:04,566 It's completely natural. 123 00:05:04,568 --> 00:05:07,969 It's just that society doesn't understand. 124 00:05:07,971 --> 00:05:09,170 Anyway, now that you know 125 00:05:09,172 --> 00:05:11,973 my shameful, very natural secret, 126 00:05:11,975 --> 00:05:14,042 will you please not tell Steve? 127 00:05:14,044 --> 00:05:16,244 He has a lot on his plate right now. 128 00:05:16,246 --> 00:05:18,913 - A lot of breast milk. - No, really, Klaus. 129 00:05:18,915 --> 00:05:20,248 I need you to promise. 130 00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:22,717 He does have a lot on his plate right now, 131 00:05:22,719 --> 00:05:26,854 with his whole style change and the school play. 132 00:05:26,856 --> 00:05:28,122 Okay. 133 00:05:28,124 --> 00:05:30,458 Your secret is safe with me. 134 00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:33,861 See?! You have been drinking it, bro! 135 00:05:33,863 --> 00:05:36,064 So gross! 136 00:05:36,066 --> 00:05:37,531 Mom, why?! 137 00:05:37,533 --> 00:05:39,867 With everything on my plate right now! 138 00:05:39,869 --> 00:05:41,236 Aah! 139 00:05:51,821 --> 00:05:54,088 Is this turtleneck too high up? 140 00:05:54,090 --> 00:05:55,557 Is it... Is it too much material? 141 00:05:55,559 --> 00:05:57,091 Maybe your neck is not long enough. 142 00:05:57,093 --> 00:05:58,760 Maybe you just can't rock a turtleneck. 143 00:05:58,762 --> 00:06:00,428 Take that back! 144 00:06:00,430 --> 00:06:01,896 I won't. It's true. 145 00:06:01,898 --> 00:06:04,432 I have yet to meet the garment that I cannot rock! 146 00:06:04,434 --> 00:06:07,501 Now that I think about it, your short neck's kind of gross. 147 00:06:07,503 --> 00:06:09,037 You look nothing like a swan. 148 00:06:09,039 --> 00:06:11,172 Look at me... total swan. 149 00:06:11,174 --> 00:06:14,308 Duck lips, swan neck, peacock attitude... 150 00:06:14,310 --> 00:06:15,843 the full bird, Stan. 151 00:06:15,845 --> 00:06:18,312 - Oh, this phone takes video? - All phones take video. 152 00:06:18,314 --> 00:06:20,382 Whatever, Stump-neck. So does mine. 153 00:06:20,384 --> 00:06:21,916 Check it out! 154 00:06:21,918 --> 00:06:23,918 I'm a director now! 155 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:26,788 Hazel Bazels, a documentary director. 156 00:06:26,790 --> 00:06:27,989 Meet the crew. 157 00:06:27,991 --> 00:06:29,591 Been on every one of my films. 158 00:06:29,593 --> 00:06:31,259 When you've been to the places we've been together, 159 00:06:31,261 --> 00:06:33,261 talk about a band of brothers! 160 00:06:33,263 --> 00:06:35,397 I take it you don't need the phone anymore? 161 00:06:35,399 --> 00:06:36,798 Hey, where'd everybody go? 162 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:39,000 Those scumbags tried to unionize. 163 00:06:39,002 --> 00:06:41,669 Turns out Allen was the little ringleader. 164 00:06:41,671 --> 00:06:43,271 I've got nothing against unions. 165 00:06:43,273 --> 00:06:46,274 My daddy was a union man... Pipe Fitters Local 97. 166 00:06:46,276 --> 00:06:49,611 But unions just don't make sense for certain industries. 167 00:06:49,613 --> 00:06:51,079 For instance, pipe fitting. 168 00:06:51,081 --> 00:06:52,880 I mean, what the hell kind of job is that, anyway? 169 00:06:52,882 --> 00:06:55,083 Just go to Home Depot and match them up! 170 00:06:55,085 --> 00:06:58,086 Does this one fit? No. Does this one fit? Yes! Done! 171 00:06:58,088 --> 00:07:00,021 Anyway, I'm a director now! 172 00:07:02,416 --> 00:07:03,691 Good morning, Steve. 173 00:07:03,693 --> 00:07:05,093 How's my little guy? 174 00:07:05,095 --> 00:07:06,828 Not still mad at his mommy 175 00:07:06,830 --> 00:07:09,163 for the whole breast-milk situmation! 176 00:07:09,165 --> 00:07:11,565 Your first day of rehearsal today. 177 00:07:11,567 --> 00:07:12,967 I want you to be ready. 178 00:07:12,969 --> 00:07:14,836 I made pancakes. 179 00:07:14,838 --> 00:07:17,772 I will never accept food or drink from you again! 180 00:07:17,774 --> 00:07:20,308 Is this about the breast-milk situmation? 181 00:07:20,310 --> 00:07:22,844 Yes! How could you do this to me? 182 00:07:22,846 --> 00:07:27,181 I didn't do it to you. I did it for you! 183 00:07:27,183 --> 00:07:29,517 I was going to stop when everyone else did, 184 00:07:29,519 --> 00:07:31,119 but I forgot to Google it! 185 00:07:31,121 --> 00:07:34,922 Well, maybe you could have Googled it before I turned 14! 186 00:07:34,924 --> 00:07:37,125 It was never a good time. 187 00:07:37,127 --> 00:07:39,193 First, your eyes went bad. 188 00:07:39,195 --> 00:07:42,396 Next, we found out you were allergic to bees! 189 00:07:42,398 --> 00:07:46,000 Third grade took you almost a year to complete! 190 00:07:46,002 --> 00:07:48,202 I mean, who knows what would happen 191 00:07:48,204 --> 00:07:50,204 if I took my breast milk away. 192 00:07:50,206 --> 00:07:53,141 Thank God for this prepackaged, not legally orange juice! 193 00:07:53,143 --> 00:07:56,344 Honey, at least let me cook you some eggs! 194 00:07:56,346 --> 00:07:59,948 How do I know you didn't lay them yourself, Mother? 195 00:08:04,256 --> 00:08:06,154 Hey, I'm Steve, your costar. 196 00:08:06,156 --> 00:08:07,355 I'll be playing Oedipus. 197 00:08:07,357 --> 00:08:08,823 Welcome to high-school theater. 198 00:08:08,825 --> 00:08:10,024 Here's what you need to know... 199 00:08:10,026 --> 00:08:11,292 We leave it all on the stage, 200 00:08:11,294 --> 00:08:12,694 and after every show, we go to Denny's 201 00:08:12,696 --> 00:08:14,228 and pour a bunch of sugar on the table. 202 00:08:14,230 --> 00:08:16,631 Cool. I look forward to working with you. 203 00:08:17,901 --> 00:08:19,501 Wake up, Smith! 204 00:08:19,503 --> 00:08:21,903 Welcome to the first rehearsal for my musical re-imagining 205 00:08:21,905 --> 00:08:24,639 of the Greek tragedy "Oedipus Rex." 206 00:08:24,641 --> 00:08:26,774 Right now it's called "Oedipus Rox" 207 00:08:26,776 --> 00:08:28,910 because the school board wouldn't let me call it 208 00:08:28,912 --> 00:08:30,444 "Mother[BLEEP]!" 209 00:08:31,554 --> 00:08:33,247 So when choosing this year's play, 210 00:08:33,249 --> 00:08:36,384 I asked myself, "What would I like to see?" 211 00:08:36,386 --> 00:08:38,252 The obvious answer is a kid 212 00:08:38,254 --> 00:08:40,855 kissing another kid who's playing his mom, 213 00:08:40,857 --> 00:08:44,859 so it's kind of like three layers of nasty. 214 00:08:44,861 --> 00:08:47,662 - Smith, are you asleep?! - Sorry. 215 00:08:47,664 --> 00:08:49,664 I-I don't know what's wrong. 216 00:08:49,666 --> 00:08:52,021 I-I'm just exhausted. 217 00:08:52,056 --> 00:08:53,801 I only had orange juice for breakfast. 218 00:08:53,803 --> 00:08:56,270 I'm kind of trying a new diet. 219 00:08:56,272 --> 00:08:58,873 Interesting. I'm on a new diet myself... 220 00:08:58,875 --> 00:09:01,075 I drink nothing but Icees until 11:00 p.m., 221 00:09:01,077 --> 00:09:03,545 and then I have a gallon and a half of jambalaya. 222 00:09:03,547 --> 00:09:04,946 I've never felt better! 223 00:09:04,948 --> 00:09:08,282 Also, I need this play to be an absolute success, 224 00:09:08,284 --> 00:09:11,019 so if it isn't, you're dead. 225 00:09:11,661 --> 00:09:14,622 I need breast milk! 226 00:09:14,624 --> 00:09:16,358 Ring-a-ding-ding. 227 00:09:18,828 --> 00:09:20,828 Dispatch, I'm on the scene now. 228 00:09:20,830 --> 00:09:22,830 Whoa! 229 00:09:30,467 --> 00:09:33,135 Stopping the milk cold turkey was a bad idea. 230 00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:35,938 I just need a little bit, just to get my head right. 231 00:09:35,940 --> 00:09:36,872 Of course. 232 00:09:36,873 --> 00:09:39,274 You have too much at stake right now with the play. 233 00:09:39,358 --> 00:09:40,609 I still want to stop, 234 00:09:40,611 --> 00:09:42,545 but instead of quitting all at once, 235 00:09:42,547 --> 00:09:45,214 I think we should wean me off gradually. 236 00:09:45,216 --> 00:09:46,549 That's so smart. 237 00:09:46,551 --> 00:09:48,951 You're not a quitter. You're a weaner. 238 00:09:48,953 --> 00:09:50,219 That's right! 239 00:09:50,221 --> 00:09:53,088 I am a lean, mean, weaning machine! 240 00:09:53,090 --> 00:09:54,289 Wean me, mama! 241 00:09:56,226 --> 00:10:00,629 Oh, it's so nice to go back to normal with you. 242 00:10:00,681 --> 00:10:02,948 What's my documentary about? 243 00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,149 Myself? 244 00:10:04,151 --> 00:10:06,018 Am I the most interesting thing? 245 00:10:06,020 --> 00:10:08,821 Roger, Linda Memari's pet chimpanzee 246 00:10:08,823 --> 00:10:10,889 ripped Jeff's face off. 247 00:10:10,891 --> 00:10:12,691 The doctors were able to do a transplant, 248 00:10:12,693 --> 00:10:15,227 but there was only one face available. 249 00:10:15,229 --> 00:10:16,895 Please be gentle. 250 00:10:16,897 --> 00:10:19,097 Come on in, honey. 251 00:10:19,099 --> 00:10:21,033 Is it noticeable, babe? 252 00:10:21,035 --> 00:10:22,435 For the love of God, 253 00:10:22,437 --> 00:10:26,105 could one film-worthy thing happen around here? 254 00:10:30,778 --> 00:10:34,680 All right, Smith. You better bring the goods... or else. 255 00:10:38,653 --> 00:10:42,787 ♪ Oedipus' mom has got it going on ♪ 256 00:10:42,789 --> 00:10:44,990 ♪ She's all I want and... ♪ 257 00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:46,926 Wait, did I say, "Mom"? I meant... 258 00:10:47,008 --> 00:10:50,996 ♪ Oedipus' wife, she's the love of my life ♪ 259 00:10:50,998 --> 00:10:52,397 ♪ There is nothing wrong ♪ 260 00:10:52,399 --> 00:10:56,401 ♪ My wife is probably not my mom ♪ 261 00:10:57,330 --> 00:10:59,338 Yeah! Nailed it, Smith! 262 00:10:59,340 --> 00:11:01,474 When I wrote those words, I wasn't sure about it, 263 00:11:01,476 --> 00:11:04,677 but the tune you made up really brought it home. 264 00:11:07,081 --> 00:11:08,347 Mm-hmm. 265 00:11:08,349 --> 00:11:11,216 Roger is not the only swan around here. 266 00:11:11,218 --> 00:11:13,686 Turtleneck, get ready to be rocked. 267 00:11:14,061 --> 00:11:16,555 Excuse me, Stan. Cody and I are location scouting. 268 00:11:16,557 --> 00:11:19,291 I think maybe the right place could spark an idea. 269 00:11:19,293 --> 00:11:21,426 What if I made a documentary 270 00:11:21,428 --> 00:11:24,163 about living in a bathroom for a month? 271 00:11:24,165 --> 00:11:26,298 Call it "Bathroom Man." 272 00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:27,700 Okay. There's something there. 273 00:11:27,702 --> 00:11:29,434 Yeah! Yeah! 274 00:11:29,436 --> 00:11:30,703 I mean... I mean, maybe. I... 275 00:11:30,705 --> 00:11:33,105 Cody is quiet, so I know he hates it. 276 00:11:33,107 --> 00:11:34,573 Well, let's go buy some balloons. 277 00:11:34,575 --> 00:11:37,510 Those things really cheer me up. 278 00:11:37,512 --> 00:11:40,179 Sounds like things went really well today. 279 00:11:40,181 --> 00:11:43,315 I'll say, which got me thinking. 280 00:11:43,317 --> 00:11:46,719 Since the milk does seem to have a positive effect... 281 00:11:46,721 --> 00:11:49,654 It does seem to be having a positive effect. 282 00:11:49,656 --> 00:11:53,192 Right, right? So maybe while the play is going on, 283 00:11:53,194 --> 00:11:55,060 weaning gets put on hold. 284 00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:59,398 On hold, yes, because of the play! 285 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:03,736 The play is the thing, a-and then we'll reassess. 286 00:12:03,738 --> 00:12:05,003 Right! Right! 287 00:12:05,005 --> 00:12:07,606 Do we wean? Do we increase the milk? 288 00:12:07,608 --> 00:12:11,076 Do we reassess whether we even need to reassess? 289 00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:13,345 Ooh, that is smart, 290 00:12:13,347 --> 00:12:17,282 and certainly nothing gets decided before the play is done. 291 00:12:17,342 --> 00:12:18,551 Heaven forbid. 292 00:12:18,553 --> 00:12:20,219 I must fly now, Mother. 293 00:12:20,221 --> 00:12:22,087 Toodeloo! 294 00:12:24,425 --> 00:12:27,760 Looks like trust has been restored between you and Steve. 295 00:12:27,762 --> 00:12:28,761 - Yeah. - Well, 296 00:12:28,763 --> 00:12:31,797 I've got something that might set it back a bit. 297 00:12:36,010 --> 00:12:37,313 _ 298 00:12:41,308 --> 00:12:45,043 You dosed his D so he'd run back to your milk, 299 00:12:45,045 --> 00:12:46,979 and I've got the proof! 300 00:12:49,383 --> 00:12:52,251 Ha! You think that was my only copy? 301 00:12:52,253 --> 00:12:54,186 - Yes. - You're right. 302 00:12:54,188 --> 00:12:56,388 ♪ So won't you please ♪ 303 00:12:56,390 --> 00:12:58,523 ♪ Be my, be my baby ♪ 304 00:12:58,525 --> 00:13:00,459 ♪ Be my little baby ♪ 305 00:13:00,461 --> 00:13:02,261 ♪ My one and only baby ♪ 306 00:13:02,263 --> 00:13:04,129 ♪ Say you'll be my darling ♪ 307 00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:06,131 ♪ Be my, be my baby ♪ 308 00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:08,133 ♪ Be my baby now ♪ 309 00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:11,604 - ♪ My one and only baby ♪ - ♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪ 310 00:13:11,606 --> 00:13:15,274 ♪ I'll make you happy, baby ♪ 311 00:13:15,276 --> 00:13:18,411 ♪ Just wait and see ♪ 312 00:13:18,413 --> 00:13:22,615 ♪ For every kiss you give me ♪ 313 00:13:22,617 --> 00:13:24,349 ♪ I'll give you three ♪ 314 00:13:24,351 --> 00:13:27,820 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪ 315 00:13:27,822 --> 00:13:29,822 ♪ Be my, be my baby ♪ 316 00:13:34,962 --> 00:13:36,361 Hot house tonight! 317 00:13:36,363 --> 00:13:38,363 I think I see some scouts out there. 318 00:13:38,365 --> 00:13:39,498 Three guys in the middle look like 319 00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:41,434 they're definitely from New York. 320 00:13:47,308 --> 00:13:49,574 Psst. Hey, lady! 321 00:13:49,576 --> 00:13:51,644 Hey, Francine, I think that boy 322 00:13:51,646 --> 00:13:53,446 is trying to get your attention. 323 00:13:53,448 --> 00:13:55,848 I'll go see what he wants. 324 00:13:55,850 --> 00:13:57,382 I-I-I can't do this! 325 00:13:57,384 --> 00:13:58,651 Why did I ever think I could do this? 326 00:13:58,653 --> 00:14:00,853 - I need some milk! - I gave you milk. 327 00:14:00,855 --> 00:14:02,321 It's all gone! 328 00:14:02,323 --> 00:14:04,457 My... My... My stomach is in knots! 329 00:14:04,459 --> 00:14:06,525 That's just nerves. 330 00:14:06,527 --> 00:14:09,795 Or maybe I need to burp you. 331 00:14:09,797 --> 00:14:11,130 I'm not a baby! 332 00:14:11,132 --> 00:14:12,397 I don't need burps! 333 00:14:12,399 --> 00:14:14,599 - I need breast milk! - I didn't bring any! 334 00:14:14,601 --> 00:14:16,535 Quit holding out on me. 335 00:14:16,537 --> 00:14:19,271 You always have it on you. 336 00:14:22,343 --> 00:14:24,810 The anticipation is peaking. 337 00:14:24,812 --> 00:14:26,011 Start the play. 338 00:14:26,013 --> 00:14:27,680 But, maestro, it's five minutes until curtain! 339 00:14:27,682 --> 00:14:29,281 I said start the play! 340 00:14:29,283 --> 00:14:30,816 Curtain! Curtain! Curtain! 341 00:14:30,818 --> 00:14:32,217 Mmm. 342 00:14:35,356 --> 00:14:38,491 Mmm. Mmm. 343 00:14:39,330 --> 00:14:40,959 Mmm. 344 00:14:41,833 --> 00:14:44,429 - Huh? - There's my movie! 345 00:14:44,431 --> 00:14:45,698 Yeah! 346 00:14:45,700 --> 00:14:47,566 I just hope that student with her boob out 347 00:14:47,568 --> 00:14:50,403 is at least a junior or a senior. 348 00:14:50,881 --> 00:14:53,944 So you're going to live down in the basement. Why? 349 00:14:54,142 --> 00:14:56,056 Well, the town turned on us 350 00:14:56,058 --> 00:14:59,393 because of their puritanical views of breastfeeding. 351 00:14:59,395 --> 00:15:01,595 Yeah. My tried to drop me off at school, 352 00:15:01,597 --> 00:15:03,397 and everyone threw rocks at us. 353 00:15:03,399 --> 00:15:05,832 And at the grocery store. More rocks. 354 00:15:05,908 --> 00:15:07,533 It just seems like everybody is 355 00:15:07,535 --> 00:15:09,535 throwing rocks at us these days. 356 00:15:09,537 --> 00:15:11,938 - Don't look right at the camera! - Roger! 357 00:15:11,940 --> 00:15:13,940 If you want this film to change people's minds about you, 358 00:15:13,942 --> 00:15:15,275 we've got to make it right. 359 00:15:15,277 --> 00:15:16,476 It's got to look slick! 360 00:15:16,478 --> 00:15:17,877 I don't care how it looks 361 00:15:17,879 --> 00:15:20,546 as long as it shows everyone the truth... 362 00:15:20,548 --> 00:15:24,618 that long-term breastfeeding is perfectly natural. 363 00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:26,620 Then we won't be pariahs, 364 00:15:26,622 --> 00:15:28,554 and maybe we'll even be allowed 365 00:15:28,556 --> 00:15:30,090 back up in the main house. 366 00:15:31,427 --> 00:15:35,361 That's the last one, Mr. S. 367 00:15:35,363 --> 00:15:37,363 Oh, that's nice. 368 00:15:37,365 --> 00:15:39,099 Oh, that's better. 369 00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:43,970 What was I saying? 370 00:15:43,972 --> 00:15:46,172 Oh, yeah... No freaks in the main house! 371 00:15:46,174 --> 00:15:47,641 Those freaks make me sick! 372 00:15:47,643 --> 00:15:49,575 Do you hear me down there, you weirdos? 373 00:15:49,577 --> 00:15:50,989 Freaks! Freaks! 374 00:15:55,135 --> 00:15:56,650 I guess Dad hasn't changed his mind 375 00:15:56,652 --> 00:15:58,652 about banishing us to the basement. 376 00:15:58,654 --> 00:16:01,187 I really hope this documentary works, Mom. 377 00:16:01,189 --> 00:16:02,456 Don't worry, Steve. 378 00:16:02,458 --> 00:16:05,258 If there's one thing your dad responds to, 379 00:16:05,260 --> 00:16:07,393 it's documentary films. 380 00:16:07,395 --> 00:16:09,195 _ 381 00:16:09,197 --> 00:16:12,499 Little Stevie, time for bed! 382 00:16:12,570 --> 00:16:14,568 Nuh-uh! 383 00:16:16,247 --> 00:16:18,472 Cooperate, young man! 384 00:16:21,943 --> 00:16:23,943 Do we know when Roger's movie is coming out? 385 00:16:23,945 --> 00:16:25,545 Do we have a timeline on that? 386 00:16:25,547 --> 00:16:28,682 If you go straight to night-nights with no fussing, 387 00:16:28,684 --> 00:16:31,952 I'll sneak up past your dad and check in with Roger. 388 00:16:31,954 --> 00:16:35,221 Okay, but can you please turn on the white-noise machine 389 00:16:35,223 --> 00:16:36,490 before you leave? 390 00:16:36,492 --> 00:16:38,158 It helps me go to sleep. 391 00:16:49,838 --> 00:16:52,706 Roger, when's your documentary going to be done? 392 00:16:52,708 --> 00:16:54,574 Ah, I see what's happening here... 393 00:16:54,576 --> 00:16:57,043 You don't know I switched projects about a month ago. 394 00:16:57,045 --> 00:16:59,513 You did? Why didn't you tell me? 395 00:16:59,515 --> 00:17:00,780 Have you been down to the basement lately? 396 00:17:00,782 --> 00:17:03,183 It's a real weird scene down there. 397 00:17:03,185 --> 00:17:05,319 Hey, does Stan know you're in the main house? 398 00:17:05,321 --> 00:17:06,653 Are you kidding me?! 399 00:17:06,655 --> 00:17:08,388 Gordon, will you run down to the bodega 400 00:17:08,390 --> 00:17:10,456 and grab me some kind of yummy chip? 401 00:17:10,458 --> 00:17:11,725 Actually, no, just bring me a pasta. 402 00:17:11,727 --> 00:17:14,862 Bring me a pasta from wherever you think is good. 403 00:17:16,798 --> 00:17:19,733 I trusted you to tell our story! 404 00:17:19,735 --> 00:17:21,801 It was just too strange, Francine, 405 00:17:21,803 --> 00:17:24,338 so I pivoted to Long-neck and Chimp-face. 406 00:17:24,340 --> 00:17:25,672 - They're more relatable. - What?! 407 00:17:25,674 --> 00:17:28,274 They have an amazing and unlikely friendship. 408 00:17:28,276 --> 00:17:30,544 Stan and Jeff?! 409 00:17:30,546 --> 00:17:32,078 Oh, yeah. I hadn't thought of it that way. 410 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:35,481 You have to show people how normal we are! 411 00:17:35,483 --> 00:17:38,518 How about I show you how normal you are. 412 00:17:41,423 --> 00:17:42,622 Do you like my outfit? 413 00:17:42,624 --> 00:17:44,224 It's Tapout from head to toe, 414 00:17:44,226 --> 00:17:47,661 except for the middle part, which is pure Stevie skin. 415 00:17:48,564 --> 00:17:51,732 Stevie! Lunchtime! 416 00:17:55,037 --> 00:17:58,438 ♪ Old McDonald had a farm ♪ 417 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:00,574 ♪ Ee-i-ee-i...Ow! 418 00:18:00,576 --> 00:18:02,576 All of his teeth are in. 419 00:18:02,578 --> 00:18:05,311 ♪ And on that farm, he had a... ♪ 420 00:18:05,313 --> 00:18:06,580 ♪ Mom ♪ 421 00:18:06,582 --> 00:18:08,782 ♪ Ee-i-ee-i-o ♪ 422 00:18:08,784 --> 00:18:12,318 ♪ With a milk-milk here and a milk-milk there ♪ 423 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:16,056 ♪ Here a milk, there a milk, everywhere a milk-milk ♪ 424 00:18:16,058 --> 00:18:17,523 Oh, my God. 425 00:18:17,525 --> 00:18:18,792 We are freaks. 426 00:18:18,794 --> 00:18:20,927 Maybe the rocks were right. 427 00:18:20,929 --> 00:18:23,463 But, Mom, I-I need the milk! 428 00:18:23,465 --> 00:18:24,998 I-I'm uncoordinated! 429 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,400 I'm allergic to bees! 430 00:18:26,402 --> 00:18:28,534 I've got these tiny, little eyes, 431 00:18:28,536 --> 00:18:30,336 and when I went off the milk, 432 00:18:30,338 --> 00:18:32,205 I fell asleep in school! 433 00:18:32,207 --> 00:18:34,140 Yes, about that... 434 00:18:34,142 --> 00:18:38,344 That morning, I put sizzurp in your SunnyD. 435 00:18:38,346 --> 00:18:40,080 That's why I was so tired? 436 00:18:40,082 --> 00:18:41,347 I guess. 437 00:18:41,349 --> 00:18:44,284 And now we can go back to our normal lives, 438 00:18:44,286 --> 00:18:48,222 knowing that neither of us was to blame for anything. 439 00:18:48,224 --> 00:18:49,555 Okay. 440 00:18:49,557 --> 00:18:51,425 Mother knows best. 441 00:18:56,708 --> 00:18:59,833 - Oh, no. - I like milk! 442 00:18:59,835 --> 00:19:03,470 It's my thing, and I'll never, ever stop drinking it! 443 00:19:06,068 --> 00:19:07,007 I told you guys, 444 00:19:07,098 --> 00:19:09,709 keep your freak show out of the main house! 445 00:19:09,711 --> 00:19:12,312 Mama, I'm hungry! 446 00:19:12,314 --> 00:19:14,448 Well, I ruined Steve. 447 00:19:14,450 --> 00:19:16,182 Francine, no. 448 00:19:16,184 --> 00:19:18,652 What Steve needs is an experience so negative 449 00:19:18,654 --> 00:19:20,854 that he'll never want to suckle again. 450 00:19:20,856 --> 00:19:23,590 - What do you mean? - Taint the milk. 451 00:19:24,110 --> 00:19:25,592 He's allergic to bees! 452 00:19:25,594 --> 00:19:27,794 You're going to put bees in the milk? 453 00:19:27,796 --> 00:19:29,663 Don't be an idiot, Klaus. 454 00:19:29,665 --> 00:19:32,466 Why work hard when you can work easy? 455 00:19:35,403 --> 00:19:37,203 Mmm. Mmm. 456 00:19:37,205 --> 00:19:41,475 The answer was so obvious. Mmm. 457 00:19:41,477 --> 00:19:43,810 It's what any mother would do! 458 00:19:43,812 --> 00:19:46,146 Yeah, girl! Solve your problems! 459 00:19:46,148 --> 00:19:48,482 Eat those bees! 460 00:19:53,555 --> 00:19:54,888 Milk. 461 00:19:54,890 --> 00:19:56,089 I need milk. 462 00:19:56,091 --> 00:19:57,557 You're awake! 463 00:19:57,559 --> 00:19:58,892 Doctor, he's awake! 464 00:19:58,894 --> 00:20:00,894 I'll be the judge of that. 465 00:20:00,896 --> 00:20:03,497 - Ow! - I judge that he is awake. 466 00:20:03,499 --> 00:20:05,832 I need milk. I'll die without it. 467 00:20:05,834 --> 00:20:07,301 No, you won't, son. 468 00:20:07,303 --> 00:20:08,135 You've been in a coma, 469 00:20:08,234 --> 00:20:10,904 and you haven't had a drop of milk in almost a year. 470 00:20:10,906 --> 00:20:12,906 A lot has happened in that time... 471 00:20:12,908 --> 00:20:15,775 I got remarried, lost my ring again, 472 00:20:15,777 --> 00:20:17,577 I rode a bike across Idaho, 473 00:20:17,579 --> 00:20:18,978 and I reconnected 474 00:20:18,980 --> 00:20:20,714 with my high-school social-studies teacher, 475 00:20:20,716 --> 00:20:22,716 but enough about me. 476 00:20:22,718 --> 00:20:24,784 Mom, what happened? 477 00:20:24,786 --> 00:20:28,588 Let's not worry about who ate bees to poison who. 478 00:20:28,590 --> 00:20:31,057 The important thing is now I realize 479 00:20:31,059 --> 00:20:33,593 it's not the milk that connects us, 480 00:20:33,595 --> 00:20:37,998 it's our shared tendency to go a little cuckoo. 481 00:20:38,986 --> 00:20:41,401 There you are! You're missing the end! 482 00:20:42,871 --> 00:20:46,406 So it seems the old adage has been proven wrong... 483 00:20:46,408 --> 00:20:49,543 A long-neck and a chimp-face can be friends, 484 00:20:49,545 --> 00:20:51,745 and if there's hope for them, 485 00:20:51,747 --> 00:20:54,014 who's to say there's not hope for all of us? 486 00:20:54,016 --> 00:20:56,616 Now, keep your eye out for my next documentary, 487 00:20:56,618 --> 00:20:58,218 where I dispel the old adage 488 00:20:58,220 --> 00:21:01,688 that a horse-face and a short-neck can't 69. 489 00:21:03,158 --> 00:21:05,092 Bye-bye! See you soon! 490 00:21:05,093 --> 00:21:07,093 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com 35046

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