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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:07,074
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2
00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:27,200
- Old man, where that money at?
- Leave me alone.
3
00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:28,900
- Give me your wallet!
- Leave me alone.
4
00:00:28,900 --> 00:00:30,700
- Come on. Give me your wallet.
- Leave me alone, man.
5
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:32,400
Leave me alone! Leave me alone!
6
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:33,800
Hey!
7
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,300
You have the nerve to bring weapons
8
00:00:36,300 --> 00:00:38,800
inside my children's playground?
9
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,300
Step off, soccer mom!
10
00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:41,600
You step off!
11
00:00:42,300 --> 00:00:45,900
What kind of human beings steal
money from a senior citizen
12
00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:47,900
10 feet from a jungle gym?
13
00:00:47,900 --> 00:00:49,600
What, you're gonna slash him
14
00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:51,100
in front of all the
toddlers so they can have
15
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,700
recurring nightmares for
the rest of their lives?
16
00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:56,300
Huh, what're you gonna do, biatch?
17
00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,400
Gimme that money, old man! Come on.
18
00:00:58,400 --> 00:00:59,700
Where's that wallet at? Come on.
19
00:00:59,700 --> 00:01:00,800
- Leave me alone.
- Give it!
20
00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:07,200
Now you the bitch.
21
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,300
And you're under arrest.
22
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:16,900
Gross!
23
00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:20,500
Five-second rule.
24
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:27,100
Synced by emmasan
www.addic7ed.com
25
00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:39,100
Manhattan south,
homicide squad requested.
26
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:41,600
Report of criminal fatality at the Neoteric.
27
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,200
325 Water.
28
00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:48,600
Hey, victim's a female, white,
40s, no ID, purse or cell,
29
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:51,800
paid in cash, gave the name
Samantha Jones, could be made-up.
30
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:53,900
You think? Security cameras?
31
00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:55,400
None up here, but plenty downstairs,
32
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:57,100
even though it's a zoo in the lobby.
33
00:01:57,100 --> 00:02:00,500
Hotel security said they saw her
on tape come in around 7:00, alone.
34
00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:02,800
As far as the guy is concerned,
a needle in a haystack.
35
00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:05,600
Detective, lights-out for this one, uh,
36
00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:08,100
approximately 8:00 to 11:00 P.M.
37
00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:12,000
Bruising indicates a struggle. The
manner of death, ligature strangulation.
38
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,600
Likely weapon is the victim's own scarf.
39
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,700
It makes sense, easier to use than hands,
40
00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:19,800
distributes the weight, the pressure evenly.
41
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,300
- Might not be a big guy.
- Or gal.
42
00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:24,800
Well, whoever it is, they
are scratched up pretty good.
43
00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:27,300
I got a whole mess of skin
fragments under her nails.
44
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:29,300
I'll try to match DNA.
45
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,100
Am I the only one noticing the funk in here?
46
00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:34,900
My allergies have been acting up.
Smells like sex or something?
47
00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:36,500
I wouldn't remember.
48
00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:39,500
No, more like bad cologne.
49
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:42,100
Like a blend of musk and roadkill.
50
00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:45,100
All right, so no forced entry,
she must have known her killer.
51
00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:48,400
Fake name, cash... Hooker and John?
52
00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:50,800
Dress comes from one of
those discount chains,
53
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,500
they always cut the tag like this.
54
00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:55,700
Simple makeup, no implants.
55
00:02:55,700 --> 00:02:59,000
Samantha Jones... Sex and the City, anyone?
56
00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:04,700
Wrong demo.
57
00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:06,600
No.
58
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,900
More likely she's just
a regular suburban gal.
59
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,100
Fifty shades of very dark grey.
60
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,600
All right, let's get the fingerprints,
find out who she is.
61
00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:15,900
You got it.
62
00:03:15,900 --> 00:03:17,300
Follow me.
63
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:25,700
Oh, it's just a typical nightgown,
64
00:03:25,700 --> 00:03:27,000
she could have bought this anywhere.
65
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:27,900
Excuse me!
66
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:29,700
Mmm-hmm?
67
00:03:29,700 --> 00:03:32,900
It's a camisole and she bought
it here. It's their own label.
68
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,800
Jake dragged me in here once,
thinking we could act out
69
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,900
some changing room male fantasy.
70
00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:39,700
- How'd that go?
- Quickly.
71
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,100
Happens.
72
00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:43,700
Well, this stuff's more upscale
than the rest of our vic's clothes.
73
00:03:43,700 --> 00:03:45,900
And considering how much she
spent on that hotel suite,
74
00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:47,700
must have been a big night for her.
75
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,000
Excuse me! I'm just following up
76
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,900
on my "excuse me!" from 30 seconds ago.
77
00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:56,100
Can we get some help?
78
00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:57,800
It'll be a minute, sweetie.
79
00:03:57,900 --> 00:04:01,200
And FYI, the sale ended last week.
80
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,800
Your attention, please!
81
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:13,100
I have a bit of a outbreak down below.
82
00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:13,900
Ew!
83
00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:17,100
And I tried on a lot of stuff
from here the other day.
84
00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:20,500
I know that we're supposed
to keep our underwear on,
85
00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:24,000
but I didn't, so, you know, FYI...
86
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:27,500
Oh, back already, that was way
less than a minute, sweetie.
87
00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:32,900
One of these camisoles was bought,
I'm guessing it was this week,
88
00:04:32,900 --> 00:04:34,500
given that it's still on display,
89
00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:37,100
by a pretty, middle-aged brunette.
90
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:40,900
Recognize her?
91
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,600
Let's see if we can find
a receipt, shall we?
92
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,700
Christa Chase. Mid-40s,
brown hair, blue eyes.
93
00:04:55,700 --> 00:04:57,400
- We need an address.
- On it.
94
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:02,300
Uh, what's with the meter maid convention?
95
00:05:02,700 --> 00:05:04,700
Captain Booty, nine o'clock.
96
00:05:07,900 --> 00:05:09,500
Seems like you have a fan club.
97
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,100
Oh, sorry, I was speaking to your ass.
98
00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:15,600
You bought me this bad boy. Remember?
99
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,700
I remember all sorts of things, Jake,
100
00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:20,200
birthdays, every Top Chef winner...
101
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,900
I even remember yesterday,
when you weren't my boss.
102
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,300
How exactly is this gonna work?
103
00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:26,900
It's gonna work great.
104
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,500
Look, we can coordinate our schedules,
105
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:32,800
we can pick up the boys and bring them
here after school, eat together...
106
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:34,400
Sounds pretty good, right?
107
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:37,300
No, actually it sounds like a
stupid, evil divorce nightmare.
108
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:39,900
Speaking of which...
109
00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:43,700
I got my papers to the
lawyers, it's official.
110
00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:47,300
Ah!
111
00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:49,800
I'll have Max get a cake.
112
00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:51,400
No, we're good. I got cronuts.
113
00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:53,700
Cronuts, everyone. Come grab a cronut.
114
00:05:54,900 --> 00:05:56,700
And share.
115
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,500
Come and have a cronut,
best donut on earth, right?
116
00:06:00,900 --> 00:06:02,600
He's just the best.
117
00:06:02,700 --> 00:06:04,000
He sort of is.
118
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,800
You're being jaked, just shake it off.
119
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:10,300
Oh, Peter and Christa Chase,
421 Adlers Way, Staten Island.
120
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,100
Peter Chase?
121
00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:22,400
Yes, sir. Problem?
122
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,200
Mr. Chase, where were you last
night between 8:00 and 11:00?
123
00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:28,100
Uh... I was here. Watching, uh...
124
00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:31,500
The Yankees. Beltran
went three for four, why?
125
00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:33,000
Can anyone verify that, sir?
126
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,000
When was the last time
you saw Mrs. Chase, sir?
127
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:36,500
Why... wha...
128
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,500
Why're you asking me that?
129
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:44,400
Mr. Chase, we found a body
that we fear is your wife.
130
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:47,200
You'll have to come down with us
to make a positive identification.
131
00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:49,200
Oh, no, no, no...
132
00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:51,800
Baby?
133
00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:55,800
They told me you were dead.
134
00:06:56,300 --> 00:06:57,400
What?
135
00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:59,700
Are you not married to
Christa Michelle Chase?
136
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,700
We have her living at this address.
137
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:04,200
Not anymore, I'm Mrs. Chase now.
138
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,100
I told Christa to update her records
139
00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:09,200
but she's not exactly quick on the draw.
140
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:10,800
She's dead, sir.
141
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:13,400
She's not my problem anymore.
142
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,900
So, Mr. Chase, when was the
last time you saw your ex-wife?
143
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:25,200
Uh... the lawyers, few weeks ago.
144
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,100
-- And this house was
the one you lived in together?
145
00:07:28,100 --> 00:07:29,800
This was my house long before Christa,
146
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,700
hell if I was gonna lose
it in the settlement.
147
00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:34,600
Bad enough I got to pay her bills,
but even that wasn't enough.
148
00:07:34,700 --> 00:07:36,100
She asked you for more money?
149
00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:40,800
She sued, to void an already signed
separation of assets agreement.
150
00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:42,100
I own a fleet of trucks.
151
00:07:42,100 --> 00:07:43,600
What, she deserves to be co-owner
152
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,700
just 'cause I got myself a
little extra-curricular?
153
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,100
It's all new furniture and linen.
154
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:55,300
I ha start over. I mean, when it comes
to style, Christa was a lost puppy.
155
00:07:55,900 --> 00:07:58,000
Oh, thank God Peter found you.
156
00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,900
I sort of have a sixth sense.
157
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,700
I think we only
have five for a reason.
158
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:09,500
So, what were you two
honeymooners up to last night?
159
00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:12,500
Just cuddling, you know, watching TV.
160
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:14,100
Romantic Yankees game?
161
00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:16,900
Like Peter
would watch the Yankees.
162
00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:24,100
Peter Chase was clearly a Mets fan.
163
00:08:24,100 --> 00:08:26,100
And the Mets didn't play
last night, the Yankees did.
164
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:28,500
Must have been, uh, first
thing that popped in his mind.
165
00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:31,000
Lying about your alibi,
that's never a good thing.
166
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,200
- So, which one do you like?
- Both have motive.
167
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,000
He was afraid of losing half his business.
168
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,300
And she was afraid of losing
the zillion bucks' worth
169
00:08:37,300 --> 00:08:39,200
of bougie house crap she just bought.
170
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:41,600
- Visible scratch marks?
- Long sleeves, couldn't see.
171
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,400
But did you catch her broken nail?
172
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:44,600
Could've happened last week.
173
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,400
Skinny little trophy wives?
174
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,600
So much as chip a nail, they book a mani.
175
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:52,400
Sorry, thought I heard
European-style frothing?
176
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:53,800
Voila!
177
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:57,000
- Oh!
- My contribution to precinct culture.
178
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,900
They had this exact model at the
cafe where I learned how to barista.
179
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,800
- Thanks, Mike.
- My name's Max.
180
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:05,700
I love you so much!
181
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,100
Not "love" love.
182
00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:10,400
- Adore.
- Just getting worse.
183
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:11,400
J'adore?
184
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:15,000
E-ZPass serial numbers for
Chase and trophy wife's cars.
185
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,300
If either of them drove into the
city last night it'll show up.
186
00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:18,100
Back at ya.
187
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:21,200
Looked at the post office. Christa had
her mail forwarded to this address.
188
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:23,900
- Can I touch it?
- No.
189
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,900
It's not much, but
she sure made it look nice.
190
00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:32,100
I asked her if she could fix up my unit.
191
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:39,000
Hmm, it looks like she
stole your CD collection.
192
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,100
Oh, my God!
193
00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:42,500
- In eighth grade I saw the Like A Virgin tour.
- I know.
194
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:44,600
Beastie Boys opened and Andrew Cohen
195
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:46,900
- grabbed my left boob.
- Grabbed your left boob. I know.
196
00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:52,500
She didn't have anything special to wear.
197
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,100
That's what the camisole was about,
198
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:56,600
starting over.
199
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,700
Divorce hit her hard. She was so lonely.
200
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:01,900
Most Saturday nights she was
home binge-watching Top Chef.
201
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:04,500
Her ex-husband was the
outgoing one, she said,
202
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:06,200
so she didn't have a social life.
203
00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,200
Looks like she was trying to fix that.
204
00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:11,100
Passionpairing.com?
205
00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:21,800
Um, excuse me, is it all right if the
grandmother brings in Christa's daughter
206
00:10:21,900 --> 00:10:24,500
- to get a few things?
- Yes, yes, please. Come in.
207
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:25,900
Of course.
208
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,000
I'm so sorry, honey.
209
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:32,800
I'm gonna find out what
happened to your mom. I promise.
210
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,800
Son of a bitch didn't even
mention they had a daughter,
211
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:41,500
and now he's all she's got left.
212
00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:44,100
Probably why Christa was getting
out there. Looking for a better man.
213
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,600
There you go, passionpairing.com.
214
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:49,300
"Your soul mate could
be just one click away."
215
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:52,200
Well, let's see if Christa found hers.
216
00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:53,900
Laura! Billy!
217
00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:56,900
Workin'!
218
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:58,600
Captain?
219
00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:00,500
Your leads sucked.
220
00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:02,900
The ex-husband's car never
left Staten Island last night.
221
00:11:02,900 --> 00:11:06,300
As confirmed by E-ZPass
and cell GPS tracking,
222
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:07,600
same with the trophy wife.
223
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,000
So, if they were home, why
lie about watching baseball?
224
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,300
May I present to you...
225
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:13,300
Chase's pay-per-view
invoice from last night.
226
00:11:14,900 --> 00:11:16,100
22 Hump Street?
227
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:17,900
22 "Hump" Street?
228
00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:19,900
That's why you lie about watching baseball.
229
00:11:19,900 --> 00:11:21,400
All right, any other bad news turds?
230
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:22,900
- Well, there's...
- Just one!
231
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:26,100
Spoke with forensics. The skin
fragments found under our vic's nails
232
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:28,000
didn't trigger a match in the DNA database.
233
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,400
Assailant is definitely
somebody without a record.
234
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:31,700
That's a needle in a haystack.
235
00:11:31,700 --> 00:11:33,800
Maybe not. New lead. Two weeks ago...
236
00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:35,400
Christa filed a
police report for assault.
237
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,600
Charges were dropped, but the
alleged perp was another woman...
238
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,600
at her yoga studio.
239
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:40,700
Check it out.
240
00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:44,900
We are warriors.
241
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,000
We are goddesses.
242
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:50,200
Majestic pigeon, on my count.
243
00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:51,900
One...
244
00:11:51,900 --> 00:11:53,400
Two...
245
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:54,900
And pigeon.
246
00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:56,300
If you don't mind, Ms. Pulaski,
247
00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:59,600
I think it would be better if we step
outside to have this conversation?
248
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,200
Actually, I do mind.
249
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:05,400
I already paid 40 bucks for this session.
250
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:06,800
40 bucks?
251
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,200
I've got a tire in my backyard
252
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:09,700
you could swing on for free.
253
00:12:09,700 --> 00:12:11,000
You get what you pay for.
254
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,600
All right, moving on.
255
00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:14,200
Where were you last night?
256
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:17,100
My daughter's gymnastics meet in Nyack.
257
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:20,200
Not killing Christa Chase,
obviously, that's why you're here.
258
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,400
Look, can you...
259
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:26,600
explain the assault charge
that Christa filed against you?
260
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,400
Her aerial band came untied,
261
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,700
she face-planted on the floor like an idiot,
262
00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:33,000
and she blamed me as
if I could've done that.
263
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,500
Anyway, she dropped the
charges. She kept coming to class.
264
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:37,300
Maybe she felt intimidated by you.
265
00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:39,200
More like she needed to work out.
266
00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:41,400
You know, she really let herself go.
267
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:42,400
All right, look.
268
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:45,400
Something obviously went down
between you two. What exactly?
269
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,800
We can move this
conversation in the precinct.
270
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,300
Charlie Carazzo.
271
00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:53,900
My chooch ex-boyfriend, okay?
272
00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:55,300
The slut was seeing him.
273
00:12:55,300 --> 00:12:59,000
Can the woman in jeans
please evacuate the premises?
274
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,100
Namaste.
275
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,500
Your body
wringing out, like a wet cloth...
276
00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:07,300
How'd that happen?
277
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:13,200
Charlie Carazzo, VP pre-owned
sales, Atlantic Auto.
278
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,600
One prior. Public intoxication and assault.
279
00:13:15,900 --> 00:13:19,200
Booze, plus a temper?
Likely profile of our killer.
280
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,000
It's a hybrid, so it's, uh,
it's good for the environment.
281
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,100
And that? That'll buff right out.
282
00:13:25,300 --> 00:13:27,000
Oh, boy. Cop!
283
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,100
Hey! Hey!
284
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:31,200
Hey, Carazzo! Where you going?
285
00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:34,100
Quick test drive!
286
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:40,500
How do I turn the car on without a key?
287
00:13:42,900 --> 00:13:44,300
God, I'm old.
288
00:13:49,900 --> 00:13:51,400
We just want to talk to you, man!
289
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,100
The brakes are spongy, the throttle sticks.
290
00:14:06,100 --> 00:14:07,300
Car's a lemon.
291
00:14:07,300 --> 00:14:09,000
We'll discuss it downtown.
292
00:14:13,300 --> 00:14:14,900
I know... I
know what it looked like...
293
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,600
But I swear, I swear to God
294
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:21,700
that, that it was an accident, I swear it.
295
00:14:22,100 --> 00:14:23,900
Walk me through what went down.
296
00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:25,800
All right, um...
297
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,400
You're doing all right.
298
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,000
Well, um...
299
00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:31,600
First of all I was pretty liquored-up...
300
00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:35,400
And I know, I know that's not
an excuse or anything, but...
301
00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:38,700
Anyway, I saw on the Internet...
302
00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:40,300
Take your time.
303
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:43,600
On the Internet that if you shove
a firecracker up a squirrel's ass,
304
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,100
it'll take off.
305
00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:47,100
Huh?
306
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:48,600
Like...
307
00:14:49,100 --> 00:14:50,000
Airborne.
308
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,000
- Pfft!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a second.
309
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,200
So you're confessing...
310
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,500
to killing a squirrel last night?
311
00:14:57,500 --> 00:14:59,200
He died?
312
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,100
He died!
313
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:04,800
Oh, this is terrible! Oh, this is horrible!
314
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:09,000
That sick idiot had two
women fighting over him?
315
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:12,000
Oh God! Oh, I can't wait to start dating.
316
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,800
Dudes! Pizza!
317
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,200
Pizza! Pizza!
318
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:18,700
Got it? Come here, guys.
319
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:21,000
Pay the toll. Pay the toll. Pay the toll.
320
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,100
Thanks for dinner.
321
00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:23,900
It was the least I could
do for the warm welcome.
322
00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:25,100
And the sitter fell through?
323
00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:27,100
I might have neglected to find one, yeah.
324
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,200
Okay if you're on kid duty tonight?
325
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,800
- I'm on kid duty every night.
- Great.
326
00:15:29,900 --> 00:15:33,800
Because I am gonna grab a beer with
everyone on the floor, one-on-one,
327
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,600
and your partner is up first tonight.
328
00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:40,700
What? I'll spring for a
sitter if you need one.
329
00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:42,000
Oh, lucky me!
330
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,900
You know how hard it is to find a
decent, affordable sitter in this city,
331
00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:46,700
let alone at the last minute?
332
00:15:46,700 --> 00:15:47,700
Noted.
333
00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:49,000
Okay, so...
334
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:52,100
- Who do we like in the case?
- Not the ex, not the new wife.
335
00:15:52,100 --> 00:15:54,000
Not the yoga lady with the broken nose,
336
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,800
not her squirrel killing ex.
337
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,100
The best lead in front of
us is the dating website.
338
00:15:58,100 --> 00:15:59,300
You figure out who she dated?
339
00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:00,600
Yeah, that's not happening.
340
00:16:01,700 --> 00:16:03,800
Um, at least not today.
341
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,600
The corporate headquarters is in Mumbai,
342
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:07,400
general counsel was Ronald McRude.
343
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,000
I kicked it up to the DA's office.
344
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,000
Why are you on the floor, merl?
345
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,700
- My name is Max.
- Uh, not to kill the joy, but...
346
00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:16,200
Compelling a foreign corporation
347
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:17,600
into breaking terms of service
348
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,000
and revealing the identity of its members?
349
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,600
Not exactly a lay-up.
350
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,200
That's why I'm joining the site.
351
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,600
- I'm sorry, what?
- passionpairing.com.
352
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:29,300
If I create a profile similar enough
to Christa, with a little luck,
353
00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:31,600
the killer just might ask me out.
354
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:35,500
"Freshly divorced. Dipping
a toe into the dating pool.
355
00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:39,000
"Style is shabby-chic,
emphasis on the shabby.
356
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:42,500
"Lover of early Madonna and late reality TV.
357
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,400
"Infrequent shopper,
358
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,900
"shameless homebody..."
359
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,400
- You forgot "alluring..."
- Oh, God...
360
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,600
"Powerful, intelligent, beautiful."
361
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:55,000
This isn't me.
362
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,800
- It's Christa.
- Huh.
363
00:16:56,800 --> 00:17:00,100
You two would've gotten
along, she sounds amazing.
364
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:01,600
Tell her to give me a call.
365
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:02,700
Daddy!
366
00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:04,700
"Freshly divorced,
367
00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:06,400
"attractive..."
368
00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:08,300
"Beautiful" is better.
369
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:09,400
Excuse me?
370
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:10,600
"Attractive"?
371
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,100
Who do you want to date? My Uncle Melvin?
372
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:14,400
I'd have to see a photo.
373
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:15,900
Your approach is all wrong.
374
00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:17,700
Did you just crawl from under a rock?
375
00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:19,000
Metaphorically.
376
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:23,700
Passionpairing's a rad site because it's
anonymous and therefore promotes honesty.
377
00:17:23,700 --> 00:17:25,100
Don't beat around the bush.
378
00:17:25,100 --> 00:17:27,100
I'm a hot as hell woman looking to get some.
379
00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:28,200
Period.
380
00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:29,600
I like you.
381
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,300
But this isn't for me.
382
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,500
Oh! I'll get on first.
383
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:34,800
Tie your shoe, Peyton Manning,
384
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,700
you don't want to break your nose.
385
00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:37,900
Nicholas,
386
00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:39,800
please move away from the criminal.
387
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,100
If staging a non-violent protest against
388
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:45,500
the most unconscionable slumlord of the
lower east side makes me a criminal,
389
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:47,000
guilty as charged!
390
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:48,300
Listen up, pigs!
391
00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:50,500
No justice, no peace!
392
00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:52,100
Boys, come in here.
393
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,000
Click "multiplier".
394
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,100
It expands the reach.
395
00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:59,400
- And use caps, helps you get noticed.
396
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:00,900
And bring your gun on these dates,
397
00:18:00,900 --> 00:18:02,700
plenty of sick pervs out there.
398
00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:15,500
Thank you.
399
00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:17,700
I know you don't like me.
400
00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:20,200
- I don't have a problem...
- That's all right. Why should you?
401
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,500
I hurt your partner. But...
402
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:25,900
Here we are. And, man-to-man,
there are two sides to every story.
403
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:27,800
I respect you as a cop.
404
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:31,000
And I just hope some day you'll
end up respecting me too. Cheers.
405
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:36,100
"Hurt" my partner?
406
00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:38,300
That's a bit of an understatement,
don't you think?
407
00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:39,600
Fair enough.
408
00:18:39,900 --> 00:18:42,900
I had the perfect woman and I
took her for granted. I blew it.
409
00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:44,400
But...
410
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,600
Was I bad enough to get
kicked to the curb for good?
411
00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:49,600
- Is that rhetorical?
- No, no, not really.
412
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:50,800
You know her better than anyone.
413
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,200
You know her better than me, even.
414
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,700
- Uh...
- I'm, I'm genuinely curious.
415
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:56,100
In your opinion, is
there a path back for me?
416
00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:59,100
Captain, I thought this was
gonna be a work thing...
417
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:00,400
- No. It is, it is.
- I don't wanna get...
418
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:01,900
Just throw me a bone, Billy. Come on.
419
00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:03,800
Does she ever even talk about me?
420
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:06,200
Oh, she talks about you. Plenty.
421
00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:09,100
- That's good. That's good.
- You haven't heard what she says.
422
00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:10,800
Hey, guys.
423
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,600
We're looking for two
to play booze foosball.
424
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:15,100
- What do you say?
- Uh, actually...
425
00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:16,500
Yeah. Sure, let's do it.
426
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:18,900
Booze foosball. I like it.
Never heard it put that way.
427
00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:20,500
- Hey, I'm Jake.
- Jenny.
428
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:25,000
There you go, you gotta drink.
429
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,700
We're Germany, you're Brazil.
430
00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:29,300
You guys gotta drink! You guys gotta drink!
431
00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:30,600
- Here you go.
- Cheers!
432
00:19:32,100 --> 00:19:33,900
That's called a goal!
433
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,700
- Shots! Yeah!
- Yeah, nice!
434
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,200
What you on your phone for, man?
Come on, get off your phone.
435
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:48,400
You didn't text me back last night.
436
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:51,100
Uh... battery died.
437
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,600
Really? Big night?
438
00:19:54,100 --> 00:19:56,700
Trying to hang with Captain Kamikaze, yeah.
439
00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:58,300
Morning, people.
440
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,700
You forgot to put in the grounds.
441
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,800
Coffee's for the birds, I only drink froth.
442
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,400
Okay, so, we gonna catch a bad guy today?
443
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:07,900
Hopefully, tonight.
444
00:20:07,900 --> 00:20:10,700
Fake Laura has 12 dates.
445
00:20:10,700 --> 00:20:12,500
- How's that gonna work?
- I've got a plan.
446
00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:14,800
It won't take more than 60
seconds to roll someone up.
447
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,000
That I'd like to see.
448
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,400
I'll come, watch your back.
449
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:20,700
I don't need my ex watching me
slay dragons in a singles bar.
450
00:20:20,700 --> 00:20:22,200
You're babysitting.
451
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:23,400
Billy's got my back.
452
00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:27,600
Hey, I just wanted you to know the bases
have changed since you last played ball.
453
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,600
Um, so first...
454
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,100
Second...
455
00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:32,900
What the hell's third?
456
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:34,800
Oh, my God!
457
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,600
Back to it.
458
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,400
This music makes me want to kill myself.
459
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,500
Yikes!
460
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:57,100
So this is what the rest of
my life is gonna look like?
461
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,300
Welcome to my world. All right, game time.
462
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,700
Can we, um, get a little
cleavage on, please?
463
00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:03,800
Oh, God...
464
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:05,200
Yeah. Mmm-hmm.
465
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:09,100
There you go. Fresh air, ladies.
466
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,000
And it wouldn't hurt to smile.
467
00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:12,700
Good, nice.
468
00:21:12,700 --> 00:21:14,300
I'm exhausted already.
469
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:17,400
Laura?
470
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:18,900
Nope.
471
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,400
What was that?
472
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:24,900
No way that twerp has the
cojones to strangle anyone.
473
00:21:24,900 --> 00:21:25,900
Okay, that was cold.
474
00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:28,000
You could've at least let
the guy buy you a drink.
475
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,800
Uh, saved him 10 bucks.
476
00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:31,500
Try 20.
477
00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:33,000
The world's gone insane.
478
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,100
So, what's the plan?
479
00:21:34,100 --> 00:21:36,000
Let's see if there's a hothead in the bunch.
480
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,400
And how are we gonna do that?
481
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:38,700
Lean and mean.
482
00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:40,900
All right.
483
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:42,500
Let's catch a killer.
484
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,300
Backgammon?
485
00:21:50,300 --> 00:21:51,800
I hate backgammon.
486
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,000
The Jets? Are you kidding me?
487
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,400
The Giants? Are you kidding me?
488
00:22:03,700 --> 00:22:05,000
Wow.
489
00:22:06,100 --> 00:22:07,100
Oh!
490
00:22:07,100 --> 00:22:09,800
These heels are designed for two dates, max.
491
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:11,700
Not 12 in one night.
492
00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:14,100
I hate dating.
493
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:16,300
Slutty heels don't come with orthotics.
494
00:22:16,300 --> 00:22:18,200
- So where're we at?
- Oh.
495
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:19,500
Zero for eight.
496
00:22:19,500 --> 00:22:21,500
Yeah, I heard everything
and didn't pick up Jack.
497
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:24,300
- Other than you're a seriously rude date.
- Exactly.
498
00:22:24,300 --> 00:22:27,000
Chances are the killer has anger issues.
499
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,800
That's why I was trying to get their goat.
500
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:31,200
Say the wrong thing so
they'll fly off the handle.
501
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:32,800
Dates one, three and four
502
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,900
just laughed off whatever I dished.
503
00:22:34,900 --> 00:22:37,300
Zen factor high, so kill factor low.
504
00:22:37,300 --> 00:22:40,300
Date two, Mr. runny nose, had a temper,
505
00:22:40,300 --> 00:22:42,800
but is too allergic to smell
cologne, much less wear it.
506
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:44,800
Date five also got pissy.
507
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,100
But he was nursing a cold
sore that had to have been
508
00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:49,100
huge two nights back.
509
00:22:49,100 --> 00:22:51,500
You don't go out with Mount
Kilimanjaro on your lip.
510
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:55,000
- Seriously?
- Easy, coug.
511
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,000
You couldn't have spent
that much on that dress.
512
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,100
- "Coug"?
- Excuse me...
513
00:22:59,700 --> 00:23:01,200
That was incredibly rude.
514
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:02,700
And her dress needs dry cleaning,
515
00:23:02,700 --> 00:23:04,300
I think you should cover that.
516
00:23:06,500 --> 00:23:08,000
Call my secretary.
517
00:23:11,100 --> 00:23:13,600
That was heroic. Thanks.
518
00:23:13,700 --> 00:23:16,300
You're welcome. And you're Laura?
519
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:17,800
I'm Kevin,
520
00:23:17,900 --> 00:23:19,700
your passion pairing.
521
00:23:19,700 --> 00:23:21,100
Kevin, right.
522
00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:22,500
- Hi.
- Hi.
523
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:24,700
You know what? That rescue deserves a hug.
524
00:23:24,700 --> 00:23:26,800
Oh, okay, hug it is.
525
00:23:27,300 --> 00:23:28,500
Wow.
526
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:31,100
Distinctive cologne.
527
00:23:32,100 --> 00:23:34,200
- It's too much?
- Way too much.
528
00:23:34,700 --> 00:23:35,700
That's kinda harsh.
529
00:23:35,700 --> 00:23:37,500
- The truth often is.
- What?
530
00:23:38,100 --> 00:23:41,100
You know what? I'm so glad
that you reached out to me.
531
00:23:41,100 --> 00:23:45,300
I saw your profile and I was gonna
ask you out two nights ago,
532
00:23:45,500 --> 00:23:47,100
but I was a nervous Nellie.
533
00:23:47,500 --> 00:23:49,100
You probably weren't free.
534
00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:50,900
I wasn't, actually.
535
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:53,400
I'm just gonna...
536
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,100
bathroom.
537
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:57,000
We got a live one here.
538
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,700
Same cologne, easily riled.
539
00:23:58,700 --> 00:24:00,000
I'm gonna go get him.
540
00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:12,900
Damn!
541
00:24:12,900 --> 00:24:15,600
- Pardon me. He's gone.
- Oh, damn it!
542
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:17,400
You must be Laura.
543
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,300
Sorry, I met someone.
544
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:22,200
Okay, then.
545
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:29,900
You are still here.
546
00:24:29,900 --> 00:24:31,600
Don't you have anyone to post bail?
547
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:33,400
Bail is for sellouts!
548
00:24:33,700 --> 00:24:36,600
The point of civil
disobedience is to be heard.
549
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,200
For once in my life he's
gonna have to listen.
550
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:40,400
I'm not a little girl anymore
551
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,700
who he can placate with material goods.
552
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:44,400
The slumlord's your father?
553
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,000
You can't pick your parents.
554
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,200
- What's your name?
- Sammi.
555
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:50,700
Sammi, I need your help.
556
00:24:50,700 --> 00:24:52,300
That's ironic.
557
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:56,500
The man locks me behind
bars and now wants my help.
558
00:24:56,900 --> 00:24:58,700
Do I look like "the man"?
559
00:24:59,900 --> 00:25:00,800
What?
560
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,500
I met a guy on passionpairing and
I need to get in touch with him.
561
00:25:03,500 --> 00:25:04,900
Don't you have friends?
562
00:25:05,300 --> 00:25:06,900
Click through his profile.
563
00:25:06,900 --> 00:25:09,700
There's a button where you can
send an emoticon and message.
564
00:25:09,700 --> 00:25:12,100
Naughtier it is, more likely he'll respond.
565
00:25:12,100 --> 00:25:15,400
There's an emoji of wet ruby red lips.
566
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:17,200
Always works for me.
567
00:25:26,700 --> 00:25:28,200
Where the hell is this guy?
568
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:29,500
Chill.
569
00:25:29,500 --> 00:25:31,300
We agreed on 10:30.
570
00:25:31,300 --> 00:25:32,500
He's got one minute.
571
00:25:32,500 --> 00:25:34,300
Yeah, but you're a sitting
duck. I don't like it.
572
00:25:34,300 --> 00:25:35,600
Spoiler alert.
573
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,600
If he tries to strangle me, I'm
gonna shoot him in the testicles.
574
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:49,500
Thank you for coming back out.
575
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:58,200
- I'm sorry I left earlier.
- Yeah, you should be.
576
00:25:58,200 --> 00:25:59,700
You should be nicer!
577
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:03,700
I'm sorry.
578
00:26:04,900 --> 00:26:06,400
You just...
579
00:26:07,500 --> 00:26:09,400
remind me of a woman.
580
00:26:10,500 --> 00:26:12,100
It didn't end well.
581
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:16,500
What happened, Kevin?
582
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:20,900
We went out a few times.
583
00:26:21,500 --> 00:26:23,800
And I thought we really hit it off.
584
00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:26,000
Then...
585
00:26:26,100 --> 00:26:27,300
Monday...
586
00:26:28,700 --> 00:26:30,300
That was gonna be
587
00:26:30,300 --> 00:26:33,400
the night, until she...
588
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:34,700
Freeze, jackass!
589
00:26:34,700 --> 00:26:36,500
- Come on! On your knees!
- Okay! Okay! Okay!
590
00:26:36,500 --> 00:26:38,300
- Get down! Don't move!
- Okay! Okay! Okay!
591
00:26:38,300 --> 00:26:39,400
Just take my wallet!
592
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,700
Please, just don't hurt us! Please!
593
00:26:41,700 --> 00:26:43,900
He's a cop, Kevin.
594
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:45,500
So am I.
595
00:26:46,900 --> 00:26:48,600
So this isn't a date?
596
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:50,900
I'm sorry, we're investigating a murder.
597
00:26:51,300 --> 00:26:53,800
- Christa Chase.
- Christa's...
598
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,000
Oh, my God!
599
00:26:56,500 --> 00:26:57,900
Thank you.
600
00:26:57,900 --> 00:26:59,900
Okay, so what the
hell happened Monday night?
601
00:26:59,900 --> 00:27:01,100
She blew me off.
602
00:27:01,100 --> 00:27:05,000
She texted me at the last minute
that she couldn't make it.
603
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,400
- See?
- Do you have an alibi, Kevin?
604
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:09,400
Can you prove that you weren't with Christa?
605
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:12,100
Yes, I ended up seeing
a boy band in Brooklyn.
606
00:27:12,100 --> 00:27:13,200
Hmm, awesome.
607
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,300
I posted some sick pics I can show you.
608
00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:17,200
I can't believe you weren't a date.
609
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,600
Laura, my people wrote the Kama-Sutra.
610
00:27:21,300 --> 00:27:23,400
You're a nice guy, Kevin.
611
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:25,100
What you said to that jerk...
612
00:27:25,100 --> 00:27:26,900
No, that wasn't real.
613
00:27:26,900 --> 00:27:29,500
- What do you mean?
- The drink spilling, it was staged.
614
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:31,200
I hired a wingman.
615
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,100
- Excuse me?
- The guy, who spilled on you,
616
00:27:33,100 --> 00:27:34,700
he was, um...
617
00:27:34,700 --> 00:27:36,300
a pro.
618
00:27:36,300 --> 00:27:38,100
I pay him 3 grand a month to pick my dates,
619
00:27:38,100 --> 00:27:40,300
my clothes, even my cologne.
620
00:27:40,700 --> 00:27:42,400
Did your wingman pick out Christa?
621
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:43,700
Christa, Laura...
622
00:27:43,700 --> 00:27:45,700
His specialty is seducing dwarfs.
623
00:27:45,700 --> 00:27:47,600
Dwarfs? I'm 5'8".
624
00:27:47,700 --> 00:27:49,400
"Divorced women alone and ready to..."
625
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:50,700
Oh...
626
00:27:50,700 --> 00:27:52,200
I won't say the last part.
627
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:53,600
Excuse me.
628
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:55,100
I just threw up in my mouth.
629
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:56,500
I know it's crass,
630
00:27:56,500 --> 00:27:59,400
but he says he can bed any dwarf he wants.
631
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:01,100
That no one has ever turned him down.
632
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:03,800
I got a feeling Christa did.
633
00:28:12,900 --> 00:28:14,700
Walk of shame right into work?
634
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:16,900
Back in the saddle pretty fast.
635
00:28:16,900 --> 00:28:19,300
Twelve saddles. We filmed the whole thing.
636
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:22,600
You could watch it on jakeisanidiot.porn.
637
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,900
We've been up all night pulling
intel on our newest suspect.
638
00:28:26,500 --> 00:28:28,900
Michael Devlin aka winner wingman.
639
00:28:29,300 --> 00:28:31,200
Who's ready to crush it in dwarf land?
640
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:35,400
In one week, I can teach any
man to get any dwarf in the sack.
641
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,600
- What's a dwarf?
- Sensitive subject.
642
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:41,400
If she did her hair up nice, put on a new
blouse she picked up at the mom store?
643
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:42,900
Ignore.
644
00:28:42,900 --> 00:28:46,000
We want our dwarf
self-conscious and insecure.
645
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:47,500
He's the antichrist.
646
00:28:47,500 --> 00:28:50,300
Which is why I can see you
wanting to pin a homicide on him.
647
00:28:50,300 --> 00:28:51,700
It lines up.
648
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:53,600
He had access to her profile,
649
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:55,500
he picked out Christa for Kevin.
650
00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:58,200
If he went after her and she resisted...
651
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:01,200
Jake, I am telling you,
I feel this one in my gut.
652
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:03,600
I'm not sure gut's enough
to pick the guy up.
653
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,000
Scroll down.
654
00:29:12,500 --> 00:29:13,900
That's interesting.
655
00:29:13,900 --> 00:29:16,700
- "Burn in hell."
Submitted by scarredforever.
656
00:29:21,100 --> 00:29:22,600
Okay, wait, you're making
a few assumptions here.
657
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:24,200
I mean, scarredforever could be a dude.
658
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:25,700
It could be Kevin for all we know.
659
00:29:25,700 --> 00:29:27,600
Doesn't sound like a dude to me.
660
00:29:29,900 --> 00:29:31,200
So...
661
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:34,100
You're gonna sit here
and wait for a response?
662
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:35,800
This is the Internet, Laura.
663
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:38,200
It's a comment. You don't... it...
664
00:29:38,700 --> 00:29:40,400
All right, I'm gonna go get some coffee.
665
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:42,100
Let me know if you want something.
666
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,900
- Start where you're comfortable.
- Uh...
667
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,800
I'd been on three, four dates
with one of his clients.
668
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:53,600
Sweet man.
669
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:55,600
A little boring.
670
00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:59,200
So, when Michael reached out,
I suppose I was flattered.
671
00:29:59,500 --> 00:30:01,100
He was so handsome.
672
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:03,100
Young...
673
00:30:03,100 --> 00:30:05,500
I couldn't believe he wanted to be with me.
674
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,500
Jenny, what happened with Michael
675
00:30:07,500 --> 00:30:09,400
when you finally got together?
676
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:14,700
We met at a hotel bar and he
bought me one quick drink,
677
00:30:14,700 --> 00:30:17,000
and he took me upstairs.
678
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:20,600
There was just something
about him, you know?
679
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,400
His casual assumption that
we were sleeping together.
680
00:30:24,900 --> 00:30:27,000
It just rubbed me the wrong way.
681
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:28,900
Did you go home?
682
00:30:30,700 --> 00:30:32,500
He slapped me.
683
00:30:35,300 --> 00:30:37,400
He threw me on the bed...
684
00:30:39,300 --> 00:30:43,500
He said that middle-aged bitches
can't afford to be teases.
685
00:30:45,500 --> 00:30:47,800
I was so scared.
686
00:30:50,300 --> 00:30:52,500
So I just let him have me.
687
00:30:58,900 --> 00:31:01,300
I just closed my eyes and let him.
688
00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:05,100
He raped her.
689
00:31:05,100 --> 00:31:06,600
Well, let's get a warrant
for a DNA screening.
690
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:08,500
The evidence is circumstantial.
691
00:31:08,500 --> 00:31:11,100
They could shoot us down,
his lawyer could drag it out.
692
00:31:11,100 --> 00:31:13,500
I am not willing to gamble on this.
693
00:31:13,500 --> 00:31:14,600
So what do you have in mind?
694
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:16,300
I rope him in. Tonight.
695
00:31:16,300 --> 00:31:18,400
Before another woman ends up dead.
696
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:19,600
It's too dangerous.
697
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:21,500
You don't get to be overprotective.
698
00:31:21,500 --> 00:31:23,000
You're not my husband anymore.
699
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:24,200
That wasn't my choice!
700
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:25,700
If you would take me back right now,
701
00:31:25,700 --> 00:31:27,400
I would happily be your husband again.
702
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:28,500
You just say the word.
703
00:31:28,500 --> 00:31:30,300
We are not doing this!
704
00:31:30,300 --> 00:31:33,300
I have mourned the death
of our marriage plenty,
705
00:31:33,300 --> 00:31:35,100
but then I moved on.
706
00:31:35,100 --> 00:31:38,500
Guess what? I like not being
married to a serial adulterer.
707
00:31:38,500 --> 00:31:41,900
And I like doing the job
that I'm really good at.
708
00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:45,900
So stop acting like a husband
and start acting like a boss
709
00:31:45,900 --> 00:31:48,700
who wants to catch a killer as much as I do!
710
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:50,900
You'll keep him in public.
711
00:31:50,900 --> 00:31:53,200
Not good enough. We have
to catch him in the act.
712
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:56,400
Laura...
713
00:31:58,400 --> 00:31:59,400
All right, look.
714
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,900
If you're going head-to-head
with a probable killer,
715
00:32:01,900 --> 00:32:04,700
then you need wingmen.
You need multiple wingmen.
716
00:32:04,700 --> 00:32:06,000
Deal.
717
00:32:07,500 --> 00:32:09,000
Let's go.
718
00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:26,200
Didn't expect to hear from you.
719
00:32:27,100 --> 00:32:28,700
Bring your dry cleaning bill?
720
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:32,400
Tell you what...
721
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:36,300
I'll pay for my dry cleaning if
you pay for my dirty Martini.
722
00:32:36,300 --> 00:32:38,000
Done.
723
00:32:38,500 --> 00:32:41,000
So, what do you do
when you're not making a mess?
724
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:42,600
I'm in import/export.
725
00:32:42,900 --> 00:32:44,900
Business runs itself, so...
726
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:47,100
Mostly, I play.
727
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:53,600
Well, that sounds like a
complete waste of time.
728
00:32:53,900 --> 00:32:55,900
How about starting a non-profit?
729
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:57,800
Feisty, hmm?
730
00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:00,300
You don't know the half of it.
731
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:03,600
Let's see. What's that?
732
00:33:04,100 --> 00:33:09,200
"Yvette, Carrie, Stacey, Alison, Noelle,
Daphne, Alison number two..."
733
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:10,300
Man, wingman's got game.
734
00:33:10,300 --> 00:33:11,600
"Let's get naked tonight."
735
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:13,200
"Hot and heavy, down to frolic."
736
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,600
Ugh! This guy's been douche-texting
half the women in New York.
737
00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:16,800
Where the hell's Christa?
738
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:19,900
If I were pig-boy and I just
killed my latest dwarf-y conquest,
739
00:33:19,900 --> 00:33:22,900
then I would delete my text
history with her, stat.
740
00:33:22,900 --> 00:33:26,400
But, what I doubt pig-boy knows
is unless you empty your bin...
741
00:33:28,500 --> 00:33:31,000
Text messages can be recovered.
742
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:32,300
Remind me never to date you.
743
00:33:32,300 --> 00:33:34,500
"C.C." That must be Christa Chase.
744
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:38,300
Christa Chase 7:41 P.M. Monday...
745
00:33:38,300 --> 00:33:40,100
"We're on." There we go.
746
00:33:40,100 --> 00:33:43,600
He must've taken a shine to Christa,
convinced her to meet him instead of Kevin.
747
00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:46,400
She shows up, she gets cold
feet, boom, he lashes out.
748
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,800
Dirty tracks. Evidence is
circumstantial but pretty damning.
749
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:53,300
All right, let's
have Laura close the deal.
750
00:34:02,300 --> 00:34:03,800
What do you say
751
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:05,700
we get out of here.
752
00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:09,700
I mean, if you want to.
753
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:11,800
Done.
754
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:15,800
They're on the move.
755
00:34:17,300 --> 00:34:18,900
Give them a little space.
756
00:34:19,500 --> 00:34:20,800
- Now.
- Right.
757
00:34:33,500 --> 00:34:36,100
Picked this place up for chump
change when the bubble burst.
758
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,700
__
759
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:52,500
She's on 14.
760
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:56,800
- It's magnetic.
- We gotta kill the power.
761
00:35:00,300 --> 00:35:01,700
Come on, come on.
762
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:03,500
Let's move this party along.
763
00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:20,300
How about a striptease?
764
00:35:21,100 --> 00:35:22,600
Knock yourself out.
765
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:24,200
Not me.
766
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:27,400
You.
767
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:29,500
Big boy.
768
00:35:32,300 --> 00:35:34,700
I need a good look at
what I'm gonna be riding.
769
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:40,100
Momma's got a freaky streak.
770
00:35:40,900 --> 00:35:43,600
Yes, this is Captain Jake
Broderick, NYPD 2nd precinct.
771
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:45,400
Look, I need an emergency power shutdown
772
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:47,500
on Orchard between Delancey and Broome.
773
00:35:47,500 --> 00:35:49,500
No, look, I don't have
time for a supervisor!
774
00:35:49,500 --> 00:35:51,700
Turn the power off! Just do it!
775
00:36:07,900 --> 00:36:10,500
Whoever it was, scratched up pretty good.
776
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:13,700
Where's the choreography?
777
00:36:18,700 --> 00:36:19,600
Oh!
778
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:26,300
I'm sorry, whoa, I thought I could do this.
779
00:36:26,700 --> 00:36:30,700
But between the cheap cologne
and the Wolverine scratches
780
00:36:30,700 --> 00:36:33,600
I... yikes, I gotta go.
781
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:34,900
The hell you do.
782
00:36:34,900 --> 00:36:38,000
Unbelievable! Twice in a week.
783
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:39,700
Don't you know that middle-aged bitches...
784
00:36:39,700 --> 00:36:41,700
"Can't afford to be teases"?
785
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:43,200
Yes, we can.
786
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:46,200
And we can also afford self-defense classes.
787
00:36:50,900 --> 00:36:52,800
That is for Christa.
788
00:37:05,100 --> 00:37:08,200
Party's over, coug. Now you're gonna die alone.
789
00:37:08,300 --> 00:37:10,100
Just like you lived.
790
00:37:10,100 --> 00:37:13,700
That would be sad, but for one thing.
791
00:37:13,700 --> 00:37:14,800
What?
792
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:16,700
I'm not alone!
793
00:37:16,700 --> 00:37:18,400
Police! Don't move!
794
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:19,600
Get your ass on the ground!
795
00:37:22,300 --> 00:37:25,400
Now the party's over!
796
00:37:27,700 --> 00:37:28,800
Yeah, you got him?
797
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:34,000
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Oh...
798
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:35,500
I released.
799
00:37:35,500 --> 00:37:36,500
Okay, there we go.
800
00:37:36,500 --> 00:37:38,700
Hey, but stupendous bust. It's really cool.
801
00:37:38,700 --> 00:37:41,300
On a less bright note, a Mrs.
Gutierrez from school called
802
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:43,600
to remind you that extended
day care has been canceled
803
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:45,700
in light of a baby shower
for Nurse Schwartzbaum.
804
00:37:45,700 --> 00:37:49,200
Screw Schwartzbaum! I've got to
finish this report for the DA.
805
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:51,800
- Jake?
- No pick up, no can do.
806
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:54,200
- Morning, Mark.
- No, it's not my name.
807
00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:00,700
Your SS prison guard here says you
called someone who posted my bail.
808
00:38:03,100 --> 00:38:05,100
- Dad!
- Honey, I had to.
809
00:38:05,100 --> 00:38:07,800
Detective Diamond said they
were running out of jail space.
810
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:10,400
- What the hell?
- I'm dropping the charges.
811
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:12,000
I'll still pay for your tuition,
812
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:13,400
and I'll pay for your apartment.
813
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:16,100
Just stop having protests in my building.
814
00:38:16,100 --> 00:38:18,500
Of course, the police
state and the aristocracy
815
00:38:18,500 --> 00:38:21,000
conspiring against the
proletariat. What else is new?
816
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:23,900
Shush! Too loud for the workplace.
817
00:38:24,700 --> 00:38:26,200
I'm not taking your blood money
818
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:29,500
when you don't even pay your
employees a living wage.
819
00:38:29,500 --> 00:38:31,500
You may be able to buy your way around
820
00:38:31,500 --> 00:38:33,600
the canal street workers' rights board,
821
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:35,800
but you can't buy my integrity!
822
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:40,300
You drive a hard bargain, Sammi.
823
00:38:41,700 --> 00:38:43,100
But I love you.
824
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:47,600
I'll take subway money.
825
00:38:48,100 --> 00:38:49,500
That was impressive.
826
00:38:50,300 --> 00:38:51,300
Here.
827
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:54,300
Have you ever done any babysitting?
828
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:57,600
Only every weekend for nine years.
829
00:38:57,600 --> 00:38:59,100
Call me.
830
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:04,500
Full background check.
831
00:39:04,500 --> 00:39:06,200
Quick word?
832
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:07,700
Of course, come on in.
833
00:39:07,700 --> 00:39:09,900
- Hey, great job with the case.
- Thanks.
834
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:12,500
Always gonna give you my best on the job.
835
00:39:12,500 --> 00:39:14,100
Off the job, you're on your own.
836
00:39:16,100 --> 00:39:17,800
- Meaning?
- Meaning...
837
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:19,900
I'm your employee, but I'm not your wingman.
838
00:39:20,300 --> 00:39:22,200
Whatever you do outside of the
office, that's your business,
839
00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:23,600
just keep me out of it.
840
00:39:23,700 --> 00:39:25,300
'Cause between you and Laura,
841
00:39:25,300 --> 00:39:27,100
I think you know where I come down.
842
00:39:28,300 --> 00:39:30,500
Really? More bro time?
843
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:32,500
I was just leaving.
844
00:39:33,900 --> 00:39:35,700
Off to pick up your children.
845
00:39:36,500 --> 00:39:38,700
I see you're incredibly busy.
846
00:39:39,900 --> 00:39:42,500
The medical examiner just
matched the wingman's DNA.
847
00:39:42,500 --> 00:39:43,900
- Good job.
- Thank you.
848
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:47,400
Anything else, sir?
849
00:39:48,100 --> 00:39:49,600
Actually, Laura, there is.
850
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,500
The other night, when Billy
and I went out for drinks,
851
00:39:56,100 --> 00:39:57,000
there was a girl...
852
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:57,900
♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪
853
00:39:57,900 --> 00:39:59,700
I really don't want to
hear about your sex life.
854
00:39:59,700 --> 00:40:04,700
Okay, there's nothing to hear. Your former
"serial adulterer" didn't sleep with her,
855
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:06,700
because of you.
856
00:40:06,700 --> 00:40:08,800
My hero!
857
00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:12,200
I recommend that you take
every opportunity you can get.
858
00:40:12,500 --> 00:40:13,900
I'm going to.
859
00:40:13,900 --> 00:40:16,300
In fact, I have a hot date tonight.
860
00:40:16,300 --> 00:40:17,600
With who?
861
00:40:17,900 --> 00:40:19,800
Threesome, actually.
862
00:40:23,700 --> 00:40:30,700
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863
00:40:31,305 --> 00:40:37,624
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