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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,125 --> 00:00:01,225 (Both laughing) 2 00:00:01,326 --> 00:00:03,160 (Snort) Stop, oh my God! 3 00:00:03,261 --> 00:00:05,162 Oh! 4 00:00:05,187 --> 00:00:06,992 You must be having a lovely morning. 5 00:00:07,017 --> 00:00:08,718 Hey now, it's just getting started. 6 00:00:08,743 --> 00:00:10,210 Is it just getting started? 7 00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:12,271 Because it looks like the two of you have been engaged 8 00:00:12,296 --> 00:00:14,514 in general merriment for quite some time now. 9 00:00:14,703 --> 00:00:16,905 - Did he just say "merriment?" - I think he did. 10 00:00:16,930 --> 00:00:18,664 Yes, I said "merriment." 11 00:00:18,764 --> 00:00:20,508 Because that's what happens when I spend too much time 12 00:00:20,533 --> 00:00:23,093 with my mother, and I blame you two for it. 13 00:00:23,847 --> 00:00:25,547 So how was uh, dinner last night? 14 00:00:25,572 --> 00:00:27,749 Ooh, long. We spent two and a half hours 15 00:00:27,774 --> 00:00:30,518 going over a costume lineup for the show. 16 00:00:30,543 --> 00:00:32,717 All so that you two of you could sneak off 17 00:00:32,757 --> 00:00:34,665 to some secret dance rehearsal behind her back 18 00:00:34,690 --> 00:00:36,424 like a pair of dirty con artists. 19 00:00:36,525 --> 00:00:39,394 Hey listen, David, your Mom is a great director. 20 00:00:39,495 --> 00:00:41,629 She's just not used to working with amateur dancers. 21 00:00:41,730 --> 00:00:42,997 Yeah, last week she told me 22 00:00:43,022 --> 00:00:46,289 to dance like an Indonesian scarf caught in the wind. 23 00:00:46,860 --> 00:00:49,027 I don't even know what that looks like. 24 00:00:49,128 --> 00:00:50,606 This "Money" number is so complicated 25 00:00:50,630 --> 00:00:52,897 that if we don't get the outside help, 26 00:00:52,922 --> 00:00:55,044 we will be laughed off stage. You've seen me dance. 27 00:00:55,068 --> 00:00:56,478 Yes, you have legs like tree trunks, 28 00:00:56,502 --> 00:00:58,737 - we knew that going into this. - Thank you. 29 00:00:58,838 --> 00:01:02,059 Can we just have one more private session with Derek, 30 00:01:02,084 --> 00:01:04,252 - and then it's done. - One more session?! 31 00:01:04,277 --> 00:01:06,254 I thought last night was the last session! 32 00:01:06,279 --> 00:01:07,839 Well, we couldn't nail the final lift. 33 00:01:07,864 --> 00:01:09,664 What is this, "Dirty Dancing?!" 34 00:01:09,689 --> 00:01:12,924 David, please, just keep her distracted for one more night. 35 00:01:13,881 --> 00:01:16,331 No. No! It's too much! 36 00:01:16,432 --> 00:01:18,333 Okay, then I guess we can just... 37 00:01:18,435 --> 00:01:20,235 tell her we're getting outside help. 38 00:01:20,336 --> 00:01:21,836 Mm, good luck. 39 00:01:21,937 --> 00:01:24,339 When she was coaching me for the "Little Mister" pageant, 40 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:26,965 I made the mistake of going to Mario Lopez for advice, 41 00:01:26,990 --> 00:01:28,367 he was the hosting at the time. 42 00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:30,945 Anyway, she found out, and felt so betrayed, 43 00:01:31,046 --> 00:01:33,414 she "forgot" to double-knot my tap shoes, 44 00:01:33,439 --> 00:01:34,973 and cost me the crown. 45 00:01:35,107 --> 00:01:38,419 So I will cover for you for one more night. 46 00:01:38,537 --> 00:01:40,105 But that is it! 47 00:01:41,311 --> 00:01:42,724 This better be worth it. 48 00:01:42,749 --> 00:01:44,583 Excuse me, I have a job to do. Oh. 49 00:01:44,684 --> 00:01:48,954 - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - -- for www.addic7ed.com -- 50 00:01:50,023 --> 00:01:51,924 (Birds chirp, dog barks) 51 00:01:54,703 --> 00:01:56,671 Mm, Ted, it smells so good in here! 52 00:01:56,696 --> 00:01:57,930 What's the occasion? 53 00:01:57,955 --> 00:02:00,241 Brunch. That we were supposed to make together. 54 00:02:00,266 --> 00:02:02,367 Oh, don't worry, babe, I've already eaten. 55 00:02:02,467 --> 00:02:04,112 So then I guess I'll just have your plate 56 00:02:04,137 --> 00:02:05,971 - for dinner, then. - Mm, yum! 57 00:02:05,996 --> 00:02:08,774 Hey, so I was thinking about maybe going into work 58 00:02:08,799 --> 00:02:10,733 - a little bit later today. - Ah! 59 00:02:10,987 --> 00:02:14,289 Yay, if that means more Teddy time for me, then yes. 60 00:02:14,314 --> 00:02:17,348 No actually, I've been thinking about maybe 61 00:02:17,373 --> 00:02:20,528 taking a longer break from work. 62 00:02:20,553 --> 00:02:22,187 I'm listening. 63 00:02:22,288 --> 00:02:24,790 What if we got out of town, just the two of us? 64 00:02:24,929 --> 00:02:27,530 - Like Thelma and Louise? - Nope. 65 00:02:27,593 --> 00:02:30,028 Uh no, I was thinking somewhere more exotic, like, 66 00:02:30,129 --> 00:02:32,332 I don't know, somewhere that would have beaches for you, 67 00:02:32,357 --> 00:02:34,142 and some interesting wildlife for me? 68 00:02:34,243 --> 00:02:36,611 Okay, I've just been to Miami so many times before, 69 00:02:36,636 --> 00:02:39,404 and trust me, the "wildlife" is not as sexy up close. 70 00:02:39,582 --> 00:02:41,316 No, I'm talking about farther away. 71 00:02:41,341 --> 00:02:43,584 Like, I don't know... 72 00:02:43,609 --> 00:02:46,144 the Galapagos Islands. 73 00:02:46,245 --> 00:02:48,180 - I love that. - Really? 74 00:02:48,281 --> 00:02:50,315 Yes, as a jumping-off point, yes! 75 00:02:50,340 --> 00:02:52,543 But if we're thinking islands, why don't we do something 76 00:02:52,568 --> 00:02:55,530 less sleepy and scary, like, The Maldives? 77 00:02:55,555 --> 00:02:56,899 Definitely something to consider. 78 00:02:56,999 --> 00:03:00,134 And I guess while we're spit-balling here, 79 00:03:00,159 --> 00:03:01,979 you know, it could be kinda fun to go somewhere 80 00:03:02,004 --> 00:03:03,538 that you've never been before. 81 00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:06,808 Like, I don't know, the Galapagos Islands. 82 00:03:06,910 --> 00:03:09,344 Yes, Ted! An island somewhere for sure. 83 00:03:09,369 --> 00:03:12,404 We just need to figure out where. Mm. 84 00:03:12,505 --> 00:03:14,740 But I'm so glad we're on the same page about this! 85 00:03:14,841 --> 00:03:16,241 Yeah, yeah. 86 00:03:16,342 --> 00:03:17,943 And-And what page is that? 87 00:03:18,044 --> 00:03:20,412 Well, we both agree that we wanna get away, 88 00:03:20,512 --> 00:03:21,789 and we both agree that we're gonna land 89 00:03:21,814 --> 00:03:23,842 on somewhere so good. 90 00:03:26,076 --> 00:03:27,358 Mhmm! 91 00:03:30,356 --> 00:03:32,810 Roland: Hey, Johnny. I heard the news. 92 00:03:32,835 --> 00:03:34,669 Boy, we are really going to miss Moira tonight 93 00:03:34,694 --> 00:03:36,161 at the annual Mayor's Roast. 94 00:03:36,186 --> 00:03:38,473 I was looking forward to getting scorched. 95 00:03:38,498 --> 00:03:40,712 Oh yeah, well, she's gonna miss it, too. 96 00:03:40,737 --> 00:03:42,661 Yeah, I mean, when she starts going off, 97 00:03:42,686 --> 00:03:45,789 oh my God, you better have the burn unit on speed dial. 98 00:03:45,814 --> 00:03:47,758 I mean, get the fire extinguishers ready, 99 00:03:47,783 --> 00:03:50,952 because she is just slinging heat! 100 00:03:50,977 --> 00:03:53,345 - Which ultimately becomes fire. - Yeah, I get it, I get it. 101 00:03:53,370 --> 00:03:55,089 She can, she can be funny on occasion. 102 00:03:55,114 --> 00:03:57,535 Yeah, it's okay though, I've got uh, Bob's cousin, 103 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:59,027 Louis, from Elm County, 104 00:03:59,052 --> 00:04:00,786 he's gonna come in and fill in for her, so. 105 00:04:00,811 --> 00:04:04,532 Yeah well, Louis' the last guy that should be driving in 106 00:04:04,557 --> 00:04:07,292 for tonight. Uh no, I-I uh... 107 00:04:07,317 --> 00:04:10,381 I'm more than capable of taking Moira's place. 108 00:04:10,406 --> 00:04:11,773 Johnny, I don't think so. 109 00:04:11,798 --> 00:04:14,251 Those are pretty high heels to fill. 110 00:04:14,276 --> 00:04:16,544 Well, don't you worry about me, I've uh... 111 00:04:16,645 --> 00:04:19,814 I've handled myself pretty well humorously speaking, 112 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:21,573 in front of large crowds before. 113 00:04:21,951 --> 00:04:23,651 Jeez, if you bring up that Rose Video 114 00:04:23,676 --> 00:04:25,210 shareholder's meeting again... 115 00:04:25,311 --> 00:04:28,366 You better be spending this time toughening your skin, 116 00:04:28,391 --> 00:04:30,425 Because I've got more than a few... 117 00:04:30,450 --> 00:04:32,417 rippers up my sleeve for tonight. 118 00:04:32,537 --> 00:04:36,774 Okay um, first off, I have no idea what "rippers" are. 119 00:04:36,799 --> 00:04:38,066 Well, maybe you'd know, 120 00:04:38,091 --> 00:04:40,792 if you graduated elementary school. 121 00:04:40,817 --> 00:04:42,118 (Guffaws) 122 00:04:42,143 --> 00:04:44,411 I can't believe you said that to me. 123 00:04:44,726 --> 00:04:48,095 Oh Roland, I'm sorry, did I... Was that too far? 124 00:04:49,010 --> 00:04:51,445 (Laughs) Look at your face! 125 00:04:51,470 --> 00:04:54,406 "Oh Roland, I'm sorry, did I go too far?" 126 00:04:54,431 --> 00:04:55,631 (Laughs) 127 00:04:55,656 --> 00:04:59,311 Oh pal, you are going to get eaten alive tonight! 128 00:04:59,336 --> 00:05:01,889 (Door latch clicks, slams) 129 00:05:01,914 --> 00:05:04,649 (Insects buzz, birds chirp) 130 00:05:06,167 --> 00:05:08,029 - (Horn honks) - Oh! 131 00:05:08,054 --> 00:05:10,094 Moira: David! What are you doing walking the streets 132 00:05:10,189 --> 00:05:11,423 all by yourself? 133 00:05:11,524 --> 00:05:13,310 You make me sound like a feral cat. 134 00:05:13,335 --> 00:05:14,635 I'm walking home. 135 00:05:14,660 --> 00:05:17,562 Don't tell me the store is already laying off people! 136 00:05:17,739 --> 00:05:19,731 No, Patrick sent me home to get a check 137 00:05:19,756 --> 00:05:21,909 that apparently is tax for the government, 138 00:05:21,934 --> 00:05:24,736 and not, as I assumed, a bonus for me. 139 00:05:24,908 --> 00:05:27,224 Well, I'm glad I caught you, because I got your missive 140 00:05:27,249 --> 00:05:28,816 about wanting to sup this evening, 141 00:05:28,841 --> 00:05:30,775 and I'm afraid I must decline. 142 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,498 What? Why? Why? 143 00:05:33,446 --> 00:05:34,631 David, full disclosure, 144 00:05:34,656 --> 00:05:37,058 you have been awfully clingy of late. 145 00:05:37,083 --> 00:05:38,150 Okay... 146 00:05:38,175 --> 00:05:40,328 I think it might be propitious for you to spend 147 00:05:40,353 --> 00:05:41,853 some time with your peers. 148 00:05:42,030 --> 00:05:44,632 What's Patrick doing tonight? Or Stevie? 149 00:05:44,813 --> 00:05:46,347 They're um, busy. 150 00:05:47,201 --> 00:05:50,638 Busy? Well, rehearsals end sharply at six, 151 00:05:50,663 --> 00:05:52,430 so either one of them should be free 152 00:05:52,455 --> 00:05:54,389 to dine with you thereafter. 153 00:05:54,414 --> 00:05:57,345 I just don't think they're available tonight. 154 00:05:57,446 --> 00:05:59,380 Hmm, too tired? 155 00:05:59,405 --> 00:06:01,506 - Mm, yes. Yeah. - Yes. 156 00:06:01,607 --> 00:06:03,108 They've both been struggling. 157 00:06:03,133 --> 00:06:05,401 Yeah, that's-that's it. 158 00:06:05,578 --> 00:06:08,713 Your choreography has been working them so hard 159 00:06:08,738 --> 00:06:11,225 they basically just go home and fall sleep, 160 00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:13,538 so actually your show 161 00:06:13,563 --> 00:06:15,163 is stripping me of a social life. 162 00:06:15,188 --> 00:06:18,375 Alright, David, but it'll have to be a working repast. 163 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,735 I could use your eye for the final design of the posters. 164 00:06:20,836 --> 00:06:22,637 Okay? You employ the wrong font, 165 00:06:22,662 --> 00:06:26,107 and you may as well bid Auf Wiedersehen to ticket sales. 166 00:06:26,806 --> 00:06:29,007 - Can't wait. - Until then, dear! 167 00:06:30,036 --> 00:06:32,264 We're both going home though! 168 00:06:32,939 --> 00:06:34,623 What the hell?! 169 00:06:35,074 --> 00:06:37,428 Alexis, you don't need to do those dishes. 170 00:06:38,611 --> 00:06:40,189 I didn't, I just put them on the counter. 171 00:06:40,213 --> 00:06:42,981 Um, I also found this on the counter. 172 00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:45,349 "Charles Darwin Research Center." 173 00:06:45,751 --> 00:06:47,528 - What is this? - Oh, nothing. 174 00:06:47,553 --> 00:06:49,955 Just-just some work stuff. 175 00:06:50,055 --> 00:06:51,799 It says you were one of ten people selected 176 00:06:51,824 --> 00:06:53,647 for a research program. 177 00:06:54,504 --> 00:06:56,571 Oh, what? 178 00:06:56,596 --> 00:06:58,697 That's... crazy. 179 00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:01,390 Is this why you kept bringing up those islands this morning? 180 00:07:01,467 --> 00:07:03,344 Oh, the Galapagos Islands? 181 00:07:03,369 --> 00:07:06,170 Uh, not necessarily, no. 182 00:07:06,540 --> 00:07:08,941 Ted, why else would anyone wanna go there? 183 00:07:09,732 --> 00:07:12,711 You mean, other than wanting to study some of the rarest 184 00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:16,029 and most diverse forms of plant and animal life on the planet? 185 00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:19,030 Uh, yeah, I guess you have a point. 186 00:07:19,218 --> 00:07:22,120 You were selected out of thousands of applicants? 187 00:07:22,220 --> 00:07:23,965 It just means that they'll have plenty of people 188 00:07:23,990 --> 00:07:25,272 to pick from when I don't accept. 189 00:07:25,981 --> 00:07:27,448 Ted! 190 00:07:27,836 --> 00:07:29,937 Why didn't you tell me you were doing this? 191 00:07:29,962 --> 00:07:32,063 Because I applied before we got back together, 192 00:07:32,088 --> 00:07:35,068 and it takes a couple years to process the applications. 193 00:07:35,093 --> 00:07:37,161 A couple years? It sounds important. 194 00:07:37,412 --> 00:07:40,357 Well, listen, it's not not important. 195 00:07:40,382 --> 00:07:42,583 But I can, I can always apply again. 196 00:07:42,684 --> 00:07:44,719 You know, Emmett, the tortoise is 180-years-old, 197 00:07:44,744 --> 00:07:47,779 So I'm sure he'll still be around in another few years. 198 00:07:47,956 --> 00:07:51,334 You love old tortoises! It sounds like a dream. 199 00:07:51,550 --> 00:07:53,584 How long is the program? 200 00:07:53,850 --> 00:07:55,295 Six months. 201 00:07:56,164 --> 00:07:58,489 - Oh, wow. - Yeah, see, 202 00:07:58,514 --> 00:08:00,568 this is why I didn't wanna push it on you this morning, okay? 203 00:08:00,593 --> 00:08:04,053 Because you mean way more to me than some dumb... 204 00:08:04,746 --> 00:08:06,614 once-in-a-lifetime job opportunity. 205 00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:09,414 Ted, I don't know what to say. 206 00:08:09,469 --> 00:08:11,303 I'd totally think about it, but like, 207 00:08:11,537 --> 00:08:12,871 my laptop's here... 208 00:08:12,896 --> 00:08:14,678 Okay, honestly, just don't worry about it. 209 00:08:15,004 --> 00:08:16,471 Well, what about long distance? 210 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,486 I once maintained a successful, semi-committed 211 00:08:18,511 --> 00:08:19,954 text relationship with Josh Hartnett 212 00:08:19,979 --> 00:08:21,622 while he was shooting "Pearl Harbor". 213 00:08:21,647 --> 00:08:24,614 Okay, Alexis, I appreciate your creative problem solving, 214 00:08:24,639 --> 00:08:27,862 But. you know, I-I wouldn't stay if I didn't feel 215 00:08:27,887 --> 00:08:30,795 like it was... it was the right choice for me. 216 00:08:31,757 --> 00:08:33,491 Babe, are you sure? 217 00:08:33,516 --> 00:08:35,369 - Yes. - But are you sure, sure? 218 00:08:35,394 --> 00:08:37,539 Because I don't want you to not go like, just because of me. 219 00:08:37,563 --> 00:08:39,308 Okay Alexis, that's exactly what's happening, 220 00:08:39,333 --> 00:08:40,708 but it's fine, okay? 221 00:08:40,733 --> 00:08:43,501 And I told you that it's fine, so it's-it's fine! 222 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:45,232 - Okay. - Okay. 223 00:08:45,455 --> 00:08:47,389 (Magazine rustles) 224 00:08:48,037 --> 00:08:51,152 Okay... so we're all good, then. 225 00:08:51,177 --> 00:08:53,678 That was a good talk for everyone. 226 00:08:53,855 --> 00:08:55,589 You know what I am gonna do? 227 00:08:55,614 --> 00:08:57,592 I'm gonna do those dishes. 228 00:08:59,644 --> 00:09:01,490 Babe, do you have a dishwasher? 229 00:09:03,833 --> 00:09:06,501 Okay, I'm just gonna... I'm gonna figure it out then. 230 00:09:07,460 --> 00:09:08,693 Okay. 231 00:09:10,429 --> 00:09:12,197 (Dish clatters) 232 00:09:16,975 --> 00:09:19,076 (Alexis sighs loudly) 233 00:09:21,283 --> 00:09:22,686 (Giggles) 234 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,241 Sounds like someone's in a good mood. 235 00:09:25,342 --> 00:09:27,543 What? Me? Oh. 236 00:09:27,644 --> 00:09:29,912 Sorry, you know those days where you're just like, 237 00:09:30,013 --> 00:09:33,015 - super in love? - Hmm, not really. 238 00:09:33,124 --> 00:09:36,126 You will. Anyway, I'm just thinking about Ted and me. 239 00:09:36,219 --> 00:09:38,996 I can't believe we've come such a long way, you know? 240 00:09:39,021 --> 00:09:40,056 Aww! 241 00:09:40,157 --> 00:09:41,997 Yeah. I just feel so lucky to be with someone 242 00:09:42,025 --> 00:09:43,873 who would do anything for me. 243 00:09:43,898 --> 00:09:46,372 Like, I just found out that he got this crazy job opportunity, 244 00:09:46,396 --> 00:09:48,965 and he's turning it down just to be with me. 245 00:09:49,142 --> 00:09:51,677 Wow. That is lucky. 246 00:09:51,702 --> 00:09:54,971 He was ten people picked out of like, ten thousand. 247 00:09:55,072 --> 00:09:56,739 Oh my God, and he's not going? 248 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,516 No, I think his perspective 249 00:09:58,541 --> 00:10:00,252 was that there would be other opportunities. 250 00:10:00,277 --> 00:10:04,068 Still, that must be totally heartbreaking for him. 251 00:10:04,615 --> 00:10:07,693 But I guess relationships are all about sacrifice. 252 00:10:08,029 --> 00:10:09,661 Oh my God, yes, Ted and I are so good 253 00:10:09,686 --> 00:10:11,572 at that whole give and take thing. 254 00:10:11,597 --> 00:10:13,632 Like, he gives me so much, 255 00:10:13,657 --> 00:10:16,368 and I have learned to take as well. 256 00:10:16,393 --> 00:10:19,270 And I'm sure you give things up for him 257 00:10:19,295 --> 00:10:20,973 all the time as well. 258 00:10:20,998 --> 00:10:22,264 Totally. 259 00:10:22,442 --> 00:10:24,009 But also, he never really asks me to, 260 00:10:24,034 --> 00:10:25,895 so that's hard for me to do for him. 261 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:28,046 But if he did, I would. 262 00:10:28,196 --> 00:10:29,997 Oh, so he didn't ask you to go with him? 263 00:10:31,687 --> 00:10:33,254 Not technically. 264 00:10:34,589 --> 00:10:36,122 Okay. 265 00:10:37,064 --> 00:10:39,024 One day I hope I find a guy like Ted. 266 00:10:39,436 --> 00:10:42,854 Someone who would literally put all their hopes and dreams 267 00:10:42,879 --> 00:10:44,980 aside to be with me. 268 00:10:46,585 --> 00:10:47,826 Yeah. 269 00:10:48,625 --> 00:10:51,027 Yeah. Thanks for the chat, Twy. 270 00:10:51,127 --> 00:10:52,604 You're like my little fairy godmother, 271 00:10:52,629 --> 00:10:55,295 if she wore an apron, and Celine Dion's perfume. 272 00:10:56,196 --> 00:10:58,186 Oh, so I've got a lot of good material here, 273 00:10:58,211 --> 00:11:01,246 I just need some help sifting out the gold. 274 00:11:01,271 --> 00:11:03,305 I still don't see why you dragged us into this. 275 00:11:03,483 --> 00:11:05,317 Well, you can be a tough audience, Ronnie. 276 00:11:05,342 --> 00:11:07,568 - What's that supposed to mean? - See? 277 00:11:07,844 --> 00:11:10,713 That's what I'm looking for, honest reactions. 278 00:11:10,814 --> 00:11:13,736 Well, I've been honestly reacting quite strongly 279 00:11:13,761 --> 00:11:15,394 to your aftershave. 280 00:11:15,495 --> 00:11:18,463 It's a bit too European for my taste. 281 00:11:18,564 --> 00:11:20,808 Not the most helpful feedback, Bob. 282 00:11:20,833 --> 00:11:23,235 Look, now that you've trapped us here, just... 283 00:11:23,260 --> 00:11:24,860 What-what do you got, Johnny? 284 00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:26,953 Okay, here we go. 285 00:11:27,075 --> 00:11:30,510 Well, it's 1791, and three explorers have landed... 286 00:11:30,535 --> 00:11:31,835 Next. 287 00:11:35,906 --> 00:11:38,117 I was flipping through the phone book the other day, and... 288 00:11:38,141 --> 00:11:39,909 The phone book? How old are these?! 289 00:11:40,086 --> 00:11:41,553 Well, you're not even letting me 290 00:11:41,578 --> 00:11:43,131 get to the punchlines, Ronnie. 291 00:11:43,156 --> 00:11:45,123 Johnny, you need a search and rescue team 292 00:11:45,148 --> 00:11:47,550 to find the punchlines for those setups. 293 00:11:49,853 --> 00:11:53,246 Ah! Top ten things you don't want Roland 294 00:11:53,271 --> 00:11:55,352 - to be in charge of... - Ten too many. 295 00:11:55,377 --> 00:11:57,011 Johnny, you gotta be short and quick, 296 00:11:57,036 --> 00:11:59,137 Like Roland in the bedroom. 297 00:11:59,162 --> 00:12:00,663 (Laughs) 298 00:12:00,688 --> 00:12:03,189 Now, that, that one kills every year. 299 00:12:03,303 --> 00:12:05,653 Oh no, I love that one, is that one up for grabs? 300 00:12:05,678 --> 00:12:07,646 No. You've gotta go for the jugular, 301 00:12:07,671 --> 00:12:09,590 Just stay away from spouses, kids, and health, 302 00:12:09,615 --> 00:12:10,816 and you'll be fine. 303 00:12:10,841 --> 00:12:13,476 Now, if you'll excuse me, 304 00:12:13,577 --> 00:12:15,845 I gotta get back to work, which, up until now, 305 00:12:15,870 --> 00:12:18,338 was the most boring part of my day. 306 00:12:18,515 --> 00:12:21,183 Well, I'd love to use that Roland in the bedroom joke. 307 00:12:21,284 --> 00:12:23,953 Fine, but I have a feeling it ain't gonna help you. 308 00:12:23,978 --> 00:12:25,412 (Chuckles) 309 00:12:25,894 --> 00:12:29,311 Man, when she's on fire, look out! 310 00:12:29,901 --> 00:12:32,670 Well, you haven't seen me on fire, Bob. 311 00:12:35,365 --> 00:12:37,199 (Insects buzz) 312 00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:39,878 I'm glad I let you talk me into another dinner, David. 313 00:12:39,903 --> 00:12:42,280 That note you had about including my name 314 00:12:42,305 --> 00:12:43,991 on the poster as a sales tool, 315 00:12:44,016 --> 00:12:46,251 that's something I've been debating for some time now. 316 00:12:46,276 --> 00:12:47,954 Well, your name was already on the all mock-ups, 317 00:12:47,978 --> 00:12:49,612 so it was really more of an observation. 318 00:12:49,637 --> 00:12:51,933 That reminds me, I must pop by the rehearsal space, 319 00:12:51,958 --> 00:12:54,526 Jocelyn said some color samples were dropped off today. 320 00:12:54,551 --> 00:12:55,889 Okay yeah, I... hmm. 321 00:12:55,914 --> 00:12:58,339 I don't know if-I don't know if I need to see color samples, 322 00:12:58,364 --> 00:13:00,198 you just showed me all the mock-ups. 323 00:13:00,223 --> 00:13:02,335 But the printers require my sign-off first thing, David. 324 00:13:02,359 --> 00:13:05,076 Well, it's-it's late, I mean, it's... 325 00:13:05,395 --> 00:13:08,177 It's 7:15. Are you sure you should be walking 326 00:13:08,202 --> 00:13:10,518 over there alone at this hour? 327 00:13:10,543 --> 00:13:13,411 Okay David, no more "True Crime TV" 328 00:13:13,436 --> 00:13:15,189 before bed for you. 329 00:13:15,214 --> 00:13:17,450 I refuse to buy you another night-light! 330 00:13:17,475 --> 00:13:20,619 Okay, well why don't I just pick them up for you, then? 331 00:13:20,644 --> 00:13:22,819 - (Cell phone beeps) - Ah! 332 00:13:23,980 --> 00:13:26,348 (Buttons click) 333 00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:27,907 Hey, be careful! 334 00:13:29,014 --> 00:13:31,329 ♪ 335 00:13:31,354 --> 00:13:33,232 Both: ♪ When you haven't any coal in the stove ♪ 336 00:13:33,256 --> 00:13:35,468 ♪ And you freeze in the winter and curse through the wind ♪ 337 00:13:35,492 --> 00:13:37,927 ♪ And your fate when you haven't any shoes on your feet ♪ 338 00:13:38,028 --> 00:13:39,361 ♪ And your coat's thin as paper ♪ 339 00:13:39,462 --> 00:13:40,940 ♪ And you look 30 pounds underweight ♪ 340 00:13:40,964 --> 00:13:42,364 ♪ When you go to get a word 341 00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,324 ♪ Of advice from the fat little pastor... ♪ 342 00:13:44,349 --> 00:13:45,768 What the hell?! 343 00:13:45,869 --> 00:13:47,803 I don't-I don't know. 344 00:13:47,904 --> 00:13:48,904 Both: ♪ At the window... 345 00:13:48,972 --> 00:13:50,539 (Music, tapping) 346 00:13:50,564 --> 00:13:52,298 - ♪ At the window! - ♪ Who's there? 347 00:13:52,475 --> 00:13:54,543 - ♪ Hunger! - ♪ Ooh, hunger! 348 00:13:54,644 --> 00:13:57,246 Both: ♪ See how love flies out the door ♪ 349 00:13:57,347 --> 00:13:59,248 ♪ Money makes the world go round ♪ 350 00:13:59,349 --> 00:14:02,084 ♪ The world go round the world... ♪ 351 00:14:02,185 --> 00:14:04,119 ♪ Money makes the world go round ♪ 352 00:14:04,221 --> 00:14:06,789 ♪ The clinking clanking sound of... ♪ 353 00:14:06,890 --> 00:14:09,191 ♪ Money money money money money money money money ♪ 354 00:14:09,292 --> 00:14:10,598 - Get a little! - Get a little! 355 00:14:10,623 --> 00:14:11,903 Both: ♪ Money money money money ♪ 356 00:14:11,928 --> 00:14:14,096 ♪ A mark, a yen, a buck, or a pound ♪ 357 00:14:14,197 --> 00:14:16,532 ♪ Clinking clanking clunking sound ♪ 358 00:14:16,633 --> 00:14:18,834 ♪ It's all that makes the world go round ♪ 359 00:14:18,935 --> 00:14:21,637 ♪ Makes the world go round! 360 00:14:21,738 --> 00:14:24,006 (Both panting and laughing) 361 00:14:25,442 --> 00:14:27,576 - Stevie: Oh my God. - Ahem. 362 00:14:27,677 --> 00:14:30,145 David, what are you doing here? 363 00:14:30,247 --> 00:14:32,648 I have questions. 364 00:14:32,749 --> 00:14:34,817 Mrs. Rose, this is Derek. 365 00:14:34,918 --> 00:14:37,271 He's been just helping us 366 00:14:37,296 --> 00:14:39,531 practice the steps to the number. 367 00:14:39,556 --> 00:14:41,924 And how long have you all been moonlighting? 368 00:14:42,025 --> 00:14:43,826 Just... just about a week. 369 00:14:43,927 --> 00:14:45,828 It's a really fun piece. 370 00:14:45,929 --> 00:14:47,755 Yes, I'm aware, thank you. 371 00:14:49,633 --> 00:14:51,310 - I'm just gonna head outside. - Stevie: Yeah. Yes. 372 00:14:51,334 --> 00:14:52,434 Thanks, Derek. 373 00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:55,013 So all this time I thought... Poor David thought 374 00:14:55,038 --> 00:14:58,073 that you were home, resting your instruments! 375 00:14:58,098 --> 00:15:00,685 - Ohh... - I'm so disappointed. 376 00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:03,599 - Both: Sorry, David. - It's okay. 377 00:15:05,315 --> 00:15:08,060 However, in the business of show, 378 00:15:08,652 --> 00:15:12,740 skullduggery, when it leads to such thrilling results, 379 00:15:12,765 --> 00:15:15,967 a pinch of moral corruption is a small price to pay. 380 00:15:15,992 --> 00:15:17,860 (Clapping) 381 00:15:17,885 --> 00:15:19,919 - Oh, is that good? - Yeah, I think so. 382 00:15:20,096 --> 00:15:21,497 You choreographed this? 383 00:15:21,522 --> 00:15:24,755 I loosened the pickle jar. Derek merely popped the lid. 384 00:15:25,268 --> 00:15:26,802 Very impressed. 385 00:15:26,827 --> 00:15:28,628 Was not embarrassed at all. 386 00:15:28,653 --> 00:15:30,120 And I thought I would be. 387 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:32,008 So sweet. 388 00:15:33,476 --> 00:15:35,377 (Car rumbles, shuts engine off) 389 00:15:44,220 --> 00:15:45,387 Babe! 390 00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,265 I didn't like how we left things this morning. 391 00:15:48,258 --> 00:15:50,125 Me neither. 392 00:15:50,226 --> 00:15:52,171 I'm the one that should be sorry. 393 00:15:53,023 --> 00:15:55,149 No, I should've been more direct, 394 00:15:55,174 --> 00:15:57,008 and we should've just talked this through. 395 00:15:57,033 --> 00:15:58,953 And I actually did some research on the Maldives, 396 00:15:59,034 --> 00:16:00,845 and there's this beautiful resort that we could stay at, 397 00:16:00,870 --> 00:16:03,857 it just means we might have to work there part-time, 398 00:16:03,882 --> 00:16:04,883 to cover the costs. 399 00:16:04,908 --> 00:16:07,576 But I feel like I could teach windsurfing. 400 00:16:07,601 --> 00:16:09,636 Of course you've done research on this trip. 401 00:16:10,679 --> 00:16:12,780 But you've done too much for me already. 402 00:16:12,984 --> 00:16:14,929 You do too much for me. 403 00:16:15,376 --> 00:16:19,179 And so I think it's time that I give something back to you. 404 00:16:19,389 --> 00:16:20,823 My FitBit? 405 00:16:20,848 --> 00:16:22,288 No. I lost that. 406 00:16:22,935 --> 00:16:24,402 But the last thing I wanna do 407 00:16:24,427 --> 00:16:26,161 is stand between you and this job. 408 00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:29,046 You've worked so hard, and I'm proud of you. 409 00:16:29,809 --> 00:16:33,378 And so, yes, Ted Mullens, 410 00:16:33,403 --> 00:16:35,371 I will go to the Cayman Islands with you. 411 00:16:35,548 --> 00:16:36,915 Uh, you mean the Galapagos? 412 00:16:36,940 --> 00:16:38,307 Yeah, wherever the turtles are. 413 00:16:38,332 --> 00:16:40,466 Are you sure, sure? 414 00:16:40,643 --> 00:16:42,344 No. But, yes. 415 00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:43,469 (Both laugh) 416 00:16:43,646 --> 00:16:45,124 Muah! Alexis, you continue to amaze me. 417 00:16:45,148 --> 00:16:46,482 I can't wait to do this with you. 418 00:16:46,583 --> 00:16:48,183 Oh! We're gonna need to shots. 419 00:16:48,284 --> 00:16:49,752 Yes! Let's celebrate! 420 00:16:49,853 --> 00:16:51,854 Uh, no, no, no, I meant like, vaccinations. 421 00:16:52,031 --> 00:16:53,164 Mm... 422 00:16:53,189 --> 00:16:54,934 Yeah, just 'cause we'll be spending a lot of time 423 00:16:54,958 --> 00:16:56,602 in tents, and there could be disease-carrying 424 00:16:56,626 --> 00:16:58,546 - insects around, so. - Okay. Okay. 425 00:16:58,571 --> 00:17:00,438 Um, this is still very fresh. 426 00:17:00,463 --> 00:17:02,584 I made this decision like, two minutes ago, 427 00:17:02,609 --> 00:17:05,820 so why don't we focus more on the beach, 428 00:17:05,845 --> 00:17:08,646 and less on the details? 429 00:17:08,671 --> 00:17:10,105 Fair enough. 430 00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,210 (Laughs) 431 00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:14,662 (Raucous laughter) 432 00:17:14,687 --> 00:17:16,521 When it comes to making decisions, 433 00:17:16,546 --> 00:17:18,766 Roland likes to go with his gut. 434 00:17:18,791 --> 00:17:21,426 And boy, does he have a lot of gut to go with. 435 00:17:21,451 --> 00:17:23,118 - Ohhhh! - (All laugh) 436 00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:24,772 Yes, I do. 437 00:17:24,797 --> 00:17:27,565 And look at Bob, pretending to get it. 438 00:17:27,590 --> 00:17:30,413 And we all know Gwen, he hasn't gotten it in years! 439 00:17:30,438 --> 00:17:32,895 All: Ohhh! (Laughter) 440 00:17:32,996 --> 00:17:36,517 Oh, that-Ronnie is just crushing it! 441 00:17:36,542 --> 00:17:39,344 I mean, you know, everybody really has so far. 442 00:17:39,369 --> 00:17:41,670 Okay, okay, that's all I got for now. 443 00:17:41,771 --> 00:17:44,473 So I'm just gonna hand it over to the one 444 00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:46,566 who wears the pants in the Rose family. 445 00:17:46,591 --> 00:17:48,896 But Moira is not here right now. 446 00:17:48,921 --> 00:17:50,188 (Audience laughs) 447 00:17:50,213 --> 00:17:52,381 So I'm gonna pass it over to Johnny. 448 00:17:52,406 --> 00:17:54,859 All right, Johnny! Go on! 449 00:17:54,884 --> 00:17:56,185 Head on up there! 450 00:17:56,286 --> 00:18:00,289 Let's see what you've got up your starched sleeve of yours. 451 00:18:00,390 --> 00:18:02,268 I'll tell you what I've got up my sleeve Roland, 452 00:18:02,292 --> 00:18:05,394 a few tasty little rippers that uh... 453 00:18:05,495 --> 00:18:07,715 are more palatable than anything 454 00:18:07,740 --> 00:18:10,575 Jocelyn's been serving up tonight, so. 455 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,469 Hey, is that a crack about my cooking? 456 00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:15,938 From the guy who's had four helpings? 457 00:18:15,963 --> 00:18:17,163 - (All laugh) - Roland: Yeah! 458 00:18:17,188 --> 00:18:19,984 Oh, and Bob's joking about me having four helpings, 459 00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:23,430 we all know if you've ever taken your car to Bob's Garage, 460 00:18:23,455 --> 00:18:27,592 he's not necessarily known "four helpings" anyone. 461 00:18:27,617 --> 00:18:28,984 (Chuckles) 462 00:18:29,009 --> 00:18:31,277 (Silence, dog barks outside) 463 00:18:31,454 --> 00:18:33,862 Well anyway, a couple of little improvs there 464 00:18:33,887 --> 00:18:37,492 to get started, but uh, uh... 465 00:18:38,294 --> 00:18:41,296 - what was I saying? - Nothing funny so far. 466 00:18:41,397 --> 00:18:43,165 (Roland laughs) 467 00:18:43,266 --> 00:18:45,319 Hey Johnny, come on, I've got a white flag, 468 00:18:45,344 --> 00:18:48,062 - why don't you just start waving it? - All: Ohhh! 469 00:18:48,110 --> 00:18:50,792 Yeah, Roland, may I point out that I was quiet 470 00:18:50,817 --> 00:18:54,119 when everyone else was up here doing their roasts. 471 00:18:54,144 --> 00:18:56,211 I wish you were quiet right now! 472 00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:58,256 (All laugh) 473 00:18:58,281 --> 00:19:01,083 Well, things seem to be going downhill fast. 474 00:19:01,184 --> 00:19:03,437 Which is what the town must've been thinking when Roland 475 00:19:03,462 --> 00:19:05,630 elected himself Mayor. 476 00:19:05,655 --> 00:19:07,089 (Audience laughs) 477 00:19:07,114 --> 00:19:08,851 Okay, I'll give him that. 478 00:19:09,492 --> 00:19:11,493 Oh, got a smile out of Ronnie. 479 00:19:11,618 --> 00:19:13,373 The last time anyone saw her this happy 480 00:19:13,398 --> 00:19:17,041 was at a 3-for-1 sale on cargo pants! 481 00:19:17,066 --> 00:19:19,201 (Audience laughs) 482 00:19:19,302 --> 00:19:20,836 Where? Where? 483 00:19:20,937 --> 00:19:22,804 (Audience laughs) 484 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:25,497 All right, Johnny, starting to make some moves, now. 485 00:19:25,522 --> 00:19:27,085 Cargo, I said car-go, 486 00:19:27,110 --> 00:19:29,378 which is what a car is supposed to do... 487 00:19:29,555 --> 00:19:31,756 unless you take it to Bob's Garage! 488 00:19:31,781 --> 00:19:33,482 (All laugh) 489 00:19:36,226 --> 00:19:38,297 Well listen, I don't want to overstay my welcome, 490 00:19:38,321 --> 00:19:40,355 I'll keep things short and quick. 491 00:19:40,456 --> 00:19:44,511 Which reminds me of the last time I was in Roland's bedroom, 492 00:19:44,536 --> 00:19:46,070 um... well, 493 00:19:46,095 --> 00:19:48,263 I-I wasn't in Roland's bedroom, but the... 494 00:19:49,198 --> 00:19:51,943 - Ah! What was it, Ronnie? - Just sit down, Johnny. 495 00:19:51,968 --> 00:19:54,968 Well anyway, the punchline is, it was short and quick. 496 00:19:55,305 --> 00:19:56,738 (Forced laughter) 497 00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:59,882 Anyway, I'm gonna quit while I'm ahead, folks. 498 00:20:00,109 --> 00:20:01,343 (Audience laughs) 499 00:20:01,444 --> 00:20:03,212 I think it's a little late for that, pal. 500 00:20:03,237 --> 00:20:05,171 - Ohhh! - (Audience laughs) 501 00:20:06,249 --> 00:20:07,816 Good job, Johnny, all right. 502 00:20:07,917 --> 00:20:09,284 (Audience laughs) 503 00:20:13,523 --> 00:20:15,611 Johnny: No, I wish you guys could've been there tonight. 504 00:20:15,636 --> 00:20:17,803 I was really ripping into them. 505 00:20:17,828 --> 00:20:19,528 Yes, I'm sure you killed them, dear, 506 00:20:19,629 --> 00:20:21,664 with all the venom of a silkworm. 507 00:20:21,765 --> 00:20:23,065 Oh, you know what, Moira? 508 00:20:23,166 --> 00:20:25,100 Jealousy doesn't look good on you. 509 00:20:25,202 --> 00:20:27,336 Much like that mirrored jumpsuit you wore 510 00:20:27,437 --> 00:20:29,205 to Candy Spelling's 50th! 511 00:20:29,306 --> 00:20:31,640 - John! - Oh my God, Dad! 512 00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:33,700 Why don't you take it easy, Alexis, 513 00:20:33,725 --> 00:20:35,854 like you did with your education? 514 00:20:35,879 --> 00:20:37,179 - (Laughs) - Ugh! 515 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,233 - I mean, he's not wrong. - Oh, look at David. 516 00:20:39,258 --> 00:20:40,859 Smart enough to get that joke, 517 00:20:40,884 --> 00:20:43,404 but not smart enough to stop wearing sweaters 518 00:20:43,429 --> 00:20:44,863 in the middle of summer. 519 00:20:44,888 --> 00:20:46,522 Burn, David! 520 00:20:46,623 --> 00:20:48,524 Okay, here's why that joke didn't work. 521 00:20:48,625 --> 00:20:50,526 And look at you, John. 522 00:20:50,627 --> 00:20:52,561 A worthy competitor emerges. 523 00:20:52,662 --> 00:20:54,930 Something the good people at Blockbuster never said 524 00:20:55,031 --> 00:20:57,418 about Rose Video. Ha! Ha! 525 00:20:57,443 --> 00:21:00,412 That was low, like David's standards. 526 00:21:00,437 --> 00:21:01,670 (Laughs) 527 00:21:01,695 --> 00:21:05,050 Or the placement of Alexis' back tattoo. 528 00:21:05,075 --> 00:21:06,909 Alexis has a back tattoo? 529 00:21:06,934 --> 00:21:09,421 Alexis, what have you done to yourself?! 530 00:21:09,446 --> 00:21:12,316 It says "that's hot" in Cantonese. 531 00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:15,382 - Got it in Hong Kong. - Ugh! 532 00:21:16,887 --> 00:21:18,888 I was 12-years-old! 533 00:21:19,638 --> 00:21:24,638 - Synced and corrected by ChrisKe - -- for www.addic7ed.com -- 40179

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