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1
00:00:00,125 --> 00:00:01,225
(Both laughing)
2
00:00:01,326 --> 00:00:03,160
(Snort) Stop, oh my God!
3
00:00:03,261 --> 00:00:05,162
Oh!
4
00:00:05,187 --> 00:00:06,992
You must be having a lovely morning.
5
00:00:07,017 --> 00:00:08,718
Hey now, it's just getting started.
6
00:00:08,743 --> 00:00:10,210
Is it just getting started?
7
00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:12,271
Because it looks like the
two of you have been engaged
8
00:00:12,296 --> 00:00:14,514
in general merriment
for quite some time now.
9
00:00:14,703 --> 00:00:16,905
- Did he just say "merriment?"
- I think he did.
10
00:00:16,930 --> 00:00:18,664
Yes, I said "merriment."
11
00:00:18,764 --> 00:00:20,508
Because that's what happens
when I spend too much time
12
00:00:20,533 --> 00:00:23,093
with my mother, and I
blame you two for it.
13
00:00:23,847 --> 00:00:25,547
So how was uh, dinner last night?
14
00:00:25,572 --> 00:00:27,749
Ooh, long. We spent two and a half hours
15
00:00:27,774 --> 00:00:30,518
going over a costume
lineup for the show.
16
00:00:30,543 --> 00:00:32,717
All so that you two
of you could sneak off
17
00:00:32,757 --> 00:00:34,665
to some secret dance
rehearsal behind her back
18
00:00:34,690 --> 00:00:36,424
like a pair of dirty con artists.
19
00:00:36,525 --> 00:00:39,394
Hey listen, David, your
Mom is a great director.
20
00:00:39,495 --> 00:00:41,629
She's just not used to
working with amateur dancers.
21
00:00:41,730 --> 00:00:42,997
Yeah, last week she told me
22
00:00:43,022 --> 00:00:46,289
to dance like an Indonesian
scarf caught in the wind.
23
00:00:46,860 --> 00:00:49,027
I don't even know what that looks like.
24
00:00:49,128 --> 00:00:50,606
This "Money" number is so complicated
25
00:00:50,630 --> 00:00:52,897
that if we don't get the outside help,
26
00:00:52,922 --> 00:00:55,044
we will be laughed off
stage. You've seen me dance.
27
00:00:55,068 --> 00:00:56,478
Yes, you have legs like tree trunks,
28
00:00:56,502 --> 00:00:58,737
- we knew that going into this.
- Thank you.
29
00:00:58,838 --> 00:01:02,059
Can we just have one more
private session with Derek,
30
00:01:02,084 --> 00:01:04,252
- and then it's done.
- One more session?!
31
00:01:04,277 --> 00:01:06,254
I thought last night
was the last session!
32
00:01:06,279 --> 00:01:07,839
Well, we couldn't nail the final lift.
33
00:01:07,864 --> 00:01:09,664
What is this, "Dirty Dancing?!"
34
00:01:09,689 --> 00:01:12,924
David, please, just keep her
distracted for one more night.
35
00:01:13,881 --> 00:01:16,331
No. No! It's too much!
36
00:01:16,432 --> 00:01:18,333
Okay, then I guess we can just...
37
00:01:18,435 --> 00:01:20,235
tell her we're getting outside help.
38
00:01:20,336 --> 00:01:21,836
Mm, good luck.
39
00:01:21,937 --> 00:01:24,339
When she was coaching me for
the "Little Mister" pageant,
40
00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:26,965
I made the mistake of going
to Mario Lopez for advice,
41
00:01:26,990 --> 00:01:28,367
he was the hosting at the time.
42
00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:30,945
Anyway, she found out,
and felt so betrayed,
43
00:01:31,046 --> 00:01:33,414
she "forgot" to
double-knot my tap shoes,
44
00:01:33,439 --> 00:01:34,973
and cost me the crown.
45
00:01:35,107 --> 00:01:38,419
So I will cover for
you for one more night.
46
00:01:38,537 --> 00:01:40,105
But that is it!
47
00:01:41,311 --> 00:01:42,724
This better be worth it.
48
00:01:42,749 --> 00:01:44,583
Excuse me, I have a job to do. Oh.
49
00:01:44,684 --> 00:01:48,954
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
50
00:01:50,023 --> 00:01:51,924
(Birds chirp, dog barks)
51
00:01:54,703 --> 00:01:56,671
Mm, Ted, it smells so good in here!
52
00:01:56,696 --> 00:01:57,930
What's the occasion?
53
00:01:57,955 --> 00:02:00,241
Brunch. That we were
supposed to make together.
54
00:02:00,266 --> 00:02:02,367
Oh, don't worry, babe,
I've already eaten.
55
00:02:02,467 --> 00:02:04,112
So then I guess I'll
just have your plate
56
00:02:04,137 --> 00:02:05,971
- for dinner, then.
- Mm, yum!
57
00:02:05,996 --> 00:02:08,774
Hey, so I was thinking
about maybe going into work
58
00:02:08,799 --> 00:02:10,733
- a little bit later today.
- Ah!
59
00:02:10,987 --> 00:02:14,289
Yay, if that means more
Teddy time for me, then yes.
60
00:02:14,314 --> 00:02:17,348
No actually, I've been
thinking about maybe
61
00:02:17,373 --> 00:02:20,528
taking a longer break from work.
62
00:02:20,553 --> 00:02:22,187
I'm listening.
63
00:02:22,288 --> 00:02:24,790
What if we got out of
town, just the two of us?
64
00:02:24,929 --> 00:02:27,530
- Like Thelma and Louise?
- Nope.
65
00:02:27,593 --> 00:02:30,028
Uh no, I was thinking
somewhere more exotic, like,
66
00:02:30,129 --> 00:02:32,332
I don't know, somewhere that
would have beaches for you,
67
00:02:32,357 --> 00:02:34,142
and some interesting wildlife for me?
68
00:02:34,243 --> 00:02:36,611
Okay, I've just been to
Miami so many times before,
69
00:02:36,636 --> 00:02:39,404
and trust me, the "wildlife"
is not as sexy up close.
70
00:02:39,582 --> 00:02:41,316
No, I'm talking about farther away.
71
00:02:41,341 --> 00:02:43,584
Like, I don't know...
72
00:02:43,609 --> 00:02:46,144
the Galapagos Islands.
73
00:02:46,245 --> 00:02:48,180
- I love that.
- Really?
74
00:02:48,281 --> 00:02:50,315
Yes, as a jumping-off point, yes!
75
00:02:50,340 --> 00:02:52,543
But if we're thinking islands,
why don't we do something
76
00:02:52,568 --> 00:02:55,530
less sleepy and scary,
like, The Maldives?
77
00:02:55,555 --> 00:02:56,899
Definitely something to consider.
78
00:02:56,999 --> 00:03:00,134
And I guess while
we're spit-balling here,
79
00:03:00,159 --> 00:03:01,979
you know, it could be
kinda fun to go somewhere
80
00:03:02,004 --> 00:03:03,538
that you've never been before.
81
00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:06,808
Like, I don't know,
the Galapagos Islands.
82
00:03:06,910 --> 00:03:09,344
Yes, Ted! An island somewhere for sure.
83
00:03:09,369 --> 00:03:12,404
We just need to figure out where. Mm.
84
00:03:12,505 --> 00:03:14,740
But I'm so glad we're on
the same page about this!
85
00:03:14,841 --> 00:03:16,241
Yeah, yeah.
86
00:03:16,342 --> 00:03:17,943
And-And what page is that?
87
00:03:18,044 --> 00:03:20,412
Well, we both agree
that we wanna get away,
88
00:03:20,512 --> 00:03:21,789
and we both agree that we're gonna land
89
00:03:21,814 --> 00:03:23,842
on somewhere so good.
90
00:03:26,076 --> 00:03:27,358
Mhmm!
91
00:03:30,356 --> 00:03:32,810
Roland: Hey, Johnny. I heard the news.
92
00:03:32,835 --> 00:03:34,669
Boy, we are really going
to miss Moira tonight
93
00:03:34,694 --> 00:03:36,161
at the annual Mayor's Roast.
94
00:03:36,186 --> 00:03:38,473
I was looking forward
to getting scorched.
95
00:03:38,498 --> 00:03:40,712
Oh yeah, well, she's gonna miss it, too.
96
00:03:40,737 --> 00:03:42,661
Yeah, I mean, when she starts going off,
97
00:03:42,686 --> 00:03:45,789
oh my God, you better have
the burn unit on speed dial.
98
00:03:45,814 --> 00:03:47,758
I mean, get the fire
extinguishers ready,
99
00:03:47,783 --> 00:03:50,952
because she is just slinging heat!
100
00:03:50,977 --> 00:03:53,345
- Which ultimately becomes fire.
- Yeah, I get it, I get it.
101
00:03:53,370 --> 00:03:55,089
She can, she can be funny on occasion.
102
00:03:55,114 --> 00:03:57,535
Yeah, it's okay though,
I've got uh, Bob's cousin,
103
00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:59,027
Louis, from Elm County,
104
00:03:59,052 --> 00:04:00,786
he's gonna come in and
fill in for her, so.
105
00:04:00,811 --> 00:04:04,532
Yeah well, Louis' the last
guy that should be driving in
106
00:04:04,557 --> 00:04:07,292
for tonight. Uh no, I-I uh...
107
00:04:07,317 --> 00:04:10,381
I'm more than capable
of taking Moira's place.
108
00:04:10,406 --> 00:04:11,773
Johnny, I don't think so.
109
00:04:11,798 --> 00:04:14,251
Those are pretty high heels to fill.
110
00:04:14,276 --> 00:04:16,544
Well, don't you worry
about me, I've uh...
111
00:04:16,645 --> 00:04:19,814
I've handled myself pretty
well humorously speaking,
112
00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:21,573
in front of large crowds before.
113
00:04:21,951 --> 00:04:23,651
Jeez, if you bring up that Rose Video
114
00:04:23,676 --> 00:04:25,210
shareholder's meeting again...
115
00:04:25,311 --> 00:04:28,366
You better be spending this
time toughening your skin,
116
00:04:28,391 --> 00:04:30,425
Because I've got more than a few...
117
00:04:30,450 --> 00:04:32,417
rippers up my sleeve for tonight.
118
00:04:32,537 --> 00:04:36,774
Okay um, first off, I have
no idea what "rippers" are.
119
00:04:36,799 --> 00:04:38,066
Well, maybe you'd know,
120
00:04:38,091 --> 00:04:40,792
if you graduated elementary school.
121
00:04:40,817 --> 00:04:42,118
(Guffaws)
122
00:04:42,143 --> 00:04:44,411
I can't believe you said that to me.
123
00:04:44,726 --> 00:04:48,095
Oh Roland, I'm sorry,
did I... Was that too far?
124
00:04:49,010 --> 00:04:51,445
(Laughs) Look at your face!
125
00:04:51,470 --> 00:04:54,406
"Oh Roland, I'm sorry,
did I go too far?"
126
00:04:54,431 --> 00:04:55,631
(Laughs)
127
00:04:55,656 --> 00:04:59,311
Oh pal, you are going to
get eaten alive tonight!
128
00:04:59,336 --> 00:05:01,889
(Door latch clicks, slams)
129
00:05:01,914 --> 00:05:04,649
(Insects buzz, birds chirp)
130
00:05:06,167 --> 00:05:08,029
- (Horn honks)
- Oh!
131
00:05:08,054 --> 00:05:10,094
Moira: David! What are you
doing walking the streets
132
00:05:10,189 --> 00:05:11,423
all by yourself?
133
00:05:11,524 --> 00:05:13,310
You make me sound like a feral cat.
134
00:05:13,335 --> 00:05:14,635
I'm walking home.
135
00:05:14,660 --> 00:05:17,562
Don't tell me the store is
already laying off people!
136
00:05:17,739 --> 00:05:19,731
No, Patrick sent me home to get a check
137
00:05:19,756 --> 00:05:21,909
that apparently is
tax for the government,
138
00:05:21,934 --> 00:05:24,736
and not, as I assumed, a bonus for me.
139
00:05:24,908 --> 00:05:27,224
Well, I'm glad I caught you,
because I got your missive
140
00:05:27,249 --> 00:05:28,816
about wanting to sup this evening,
141
00:05:28,841 --> 00:05:30,775
and I'm afraid I must decline.
142
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,498
What? Why? Why?
143
00:05:33,446 --> 00:05:34,631
David, full disclosure,
144
00:05:34,656 --> 00:05:37,058
you have been awfully clingy of late.
145
00:05:37,083 --> 00:05:38,150
Okay...
146
00:05:38,175 --> 00:05:40,328
I think it might be
propitious for you to spend
147
00:05:40,353 --> 00:05:41,853
some time with your peers.
148
00:05:42,030 --> 00:05:44,632
What's Patrick doing tonight? Or Stevie?
149
00:05:44,813 --> 00:05:46,347
They're um, busy.
150
00:05:47,201 --> 00:05:50,638
Busy? Well, rehearsals
end sharply at six,
151
00:05:50,663 --> 00:05:52,430
so either one of them should be free
152
00:05:52,455 --> 00:05:54,389
to dine with you thereafter.
153
00:05:54,414 --> 00:05:57,345
I just don't think
they're available tonight.
154
00:05:57,446 --> 00:05:59,380
Hmm, too tired?
155
00:05:59,405 --> 00:06:01,506
- Mm, yes. Yeah.
- Yes.
156
00:06:01,607 --> 00:06:03,108
They've both been struggling.
157
00:06:03,133 --> 00:06:05,401
Yeah, that's-that's it.
158
00:06:05,578 --> 00:06:08,713
Your choreography has
been working them so hard
159
00:06:08,738 --> 00:06:11,225
they basically just
go home and fall sleep,
160
00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:13,538
so actually your show
161
00:06:13,563 --> 00:06:15,163
is stripping me of a social life.
162
00:06:15,188 --> 00:06:18,375
Alright, David, but it'll
have to be a working repast.
163
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,735
I could use your eye for the
final design of the posters.
164
00:06:20,836 --> 00:06:22,637
Okay? You employ the wrong font,
165
00:06:22,662 --> 00:06:26,107
and you may as well bid Auf
Wiedersehen to ticket sales.
166
00:06:26,806 --> 00:06:29,007
- Can't wait.
- Until then, dear!
167
00:06:30,036 --> 00:06:32,264
We're both going home though!
168
00:06:32,939 --> 00:06:34,623
What the hell?!
169
00:06:35,074 --> 00:06:37,428
Alexis, you don't need
to do those dishes.
170
00:06:38,611 --> 00:06:40,189
I didn't, I just put
them on the counter.
171
00:06:40,213 --> 00:06:42,981
Um, I also found this on the counter.
172
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:45,349
"Charles Darwin Research Center."
173
00:06:45,751 --> 00:06:47,528
- What is this?
- Oh, nothing.
174
00:06:47,553 --> 00:06:49,955
Just-just some work stuff.
175
00:06:50,055 --> 00:06:51,799
It says you were one
of ten people selected
176
00:06:51,824 --> 00:06:53,647
for a research program.
177
00:06:54,504 --> 00:06:56,571
Oh, what?
178
00:06:56,596 --> 00:06:58,697
That's... crazy.
179
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:01,390
Is this why you kept bringing
up those islands this morning?
180
00:07:01,467 --> 00:07:03,344
Oh, the Galapagos Islands?
181
00:07:03,369 --> 00:07:06,170
Uh, not necessarily, no.
182
00:07:06,540 --> 00:07:08,941
Ted, why else would
anyone wanna go there?
183
00:07:09,732 --> 00:07:12,711
You mean, other than wanting
to study some of the rarest
184
00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:16,029
and most diverse forms of plant
and animal life on the planet?
185
00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:19,030
Uh, yeah, I guess you have a point.
186
00:07:19,218 --> 00:07:22,120
You were selected out of
thousands of applicants?
187
00:07:22,220 --> 00:07:23,965
It just means that they'll
have plenty of people
188
00:07:23,990 --> 00:07:25,272
to pick from when I don't accept.
189
00:07:25,981 --> 00:07:27,448
Ted!
190
00:07:27,836 --> 00:07:29,937
Why didn't you tell
me you were doing this?
191
00:07:29,962 --> 00:07:32,063
Because I applied before
we got back together,
192
00:07:32,088 --> 00:07:35,068
and it takes a couple years
to process the applications.
193
00:07:35,093 --> 00:07:37,161
A couple years? It sounds important.
194
00:07:37,412 --> 00:07:40,357
Well, listen, it's not not important.
195
00:07:40,382 --> 00:07:42,583
But I can, I can always apply again.
196
00:07:42,684 --> 00:07:44,719
You know, Emmett, the
tortoise is 180-years-old,
197
00:07:44,744 --> 00:07:47,779
So I'm sure he'll still be
around in another few years.
198
00:07:47,956 --> 00:07:51,334
You love old tortoises!
It sounds like a dream.
199
00:07:51,550 --> 00:07:53,584
How long is the program?
200
00:07:53,850 --> 00:07:55,295
Six months.
201
00:07:56,164 --> 00:07:58,489
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah, see,
202
00:07:58,514 --> 00:08:00,568
this is why I didn't wanna push
it on you this morning, okay?
203
00:08:00,593 --> 00:08:04,053
Because you mean way more
to me than some dumb...
204
00:08:04,746 --> 00:08:06,614
once-in-a-lifetime
job opportunity.
205
00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:09,414
Ted, I don't know what to say.
206
00:08:09,469 --> 00:08:11,303
I'd totally think about it, but like,
207
00:08:11,537 --> 00:08:12,871
my laptop's here...
208
00:08:12,896 --> 00:08:14,678
Okay, honestly, just
don't worry about it.
209
00:08:15,004 --> 00:08:16,471
Well, what about long distance?
210
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,486
I once maintained a
successful, semi-committed
211
00:08:18,511 --> 00:08:19,954
text relationship with Josh Hartnett
212
00:08:19,979 --> 00:08:21,622
while he was shooting "Pearl Harbor".
213
00:08:21,647 --> 00:08:24,614
Okay, Alexis, I appreciate
your creative problem solving,
214
00:08:24,639 --> 00:08:27,862
But. you know, I-I wouldn't
stay if I didn't feel
215
00:08:27,887 --> 00:08:30,795
like it was... it was
the right choice for me.
216
00:08:31,757 --> 00:08:33,491
Babe, are you sure?
217
00:08:33,516 --> 00:08:35,369
- Yes.
- But are you sure, sure?
218
00:08:35,394 --> 00:08:37,539
Because I don't want you to
not go like, just because of me.
219
00:08:37,563 --> 00:08:39,308
Okay Alexis, that's
exactly what's happening,
220
00:08:39,333 --> 00:08:40,708
but it's fine, okay?
221
00:08:40,733 --> 00:08:43,501
And I told you that it's
fine, so it's-it's fine!
222
00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:45,232
- Okay.
- Okay.
223
00:08:45,455 --> 00:08:47,389
(Magazine rustles)
224
00:08:48,037 --> 00:08:51,152
Okay... so we're all good, then.
225
00:08:51,177 --> 00:08:53,678
That was a good talk for everyone.
226
00:08:53,855 --> 00:08:55,589
You know what I am gonna do?
227
00:08:55,614 --> 00:08:57,592
I'm gonna do those dishes.
228
00:08:59,644 --> 00:09:01,490
Babe, do you have a dishwasher?
229
00:09:03,833 --> 00:09:06,501
Okay, I'm just gonna... I'm
gonna figure it out then.
230
00:09:07,460 --> 00:09:08,693
Okay.
231
00:09:10,429 --> 00:09:12,197
(Dish clatters)
232
00:09:16,975 --> 00:09:19,076
(Alexis sighs loudly)
233
00:09:21,283 --> 00:09:22,686
(Giggles)
234
00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,241
Sounds like someone's in a good mood.
235
00:09:25,342 --> 00:09:27,543
What? Me? Oh.
236
00:09:27,644 --> 00:09:29,912
Sorry, you know those days
where you're just like,
237
00:09:30,013 --> 00:09:33,015
- super in love?
- Hmm, not really.
238
00:09:33,124 --> 00:09:36,126
You will. Anyway, I'm just
thinking about Ted and me.
239
00:09:36,219 --> 00:09:38,996
I can't believe we've come
such a long way, you know?
240
00:09:39,021 --> 00:09:40,056
Aww!
241
00:09:40,157 --> 00:09:41,997
Yeah. I just feel so
lucky to be with someone
242
00:09:42,025 --> 00:09:43,873
who would do anything for me.
243
00:09:43,898 --> 00:09:46,372
Like, I just found out that he
got this crazy job opportunity,
244
00:09:46,396 --> 00:09:48,965
and he's turning it
down just to be with me.
245
00:09:49,142 --> 00:09:51,677
Wow. That is lucky.
246
00:09:51,702 --> 00:09:54,971
He was ten people picked
out of like, ten thousand.
247
00:09:55,072 --> 00:09:56,739
Oh my God, and he's not going?
248
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,516
No, I think his perspective
249
00:09:58,541 --> 00:10:00,252
was that there would
be other opportunities.
250
00:10:00,277 --> 00:10:04,068
Still, that must be totally
heartbreaking for him.
251
00:10:04,615 --> 00:10:07,693
But I guess relationships
are all about sacrifice.
252
00:10:08,029 --> 00:10:09,661
Oh my God, yes, Ted and I are so good
253
00:10:09,686 --> 00:10:11,572
at that whole give and take thing.
254
00:10:11,597 --> 00:10:13,632
Like, he gives me so much,
255
00:10:13,657 --> 00:10:16,368
and I have learned to take as well.
256
00:10:16,393 --> 00:10:19,270
And I'm sure you give things up for him
257
00:10:19,295 --> 00:10:20,973
all the time as well.
258
00:10:20,998 --> 00:10:22,264
Totally.
259
00:10:22,442 --> 00:10:24,009
But also, he never really asks me to,
260
00:10:24,034 --> 00:10:25,895
so that's hard for me to do for him.
261
00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:28,046
But if he did, I would.
262
00:10:28,196 --> 00:10:29,997
Oh, so he didn't ask you to go with him?
263
00:10:31,687 --> 00:10:33,254
Not technically.
264
00:10:34,589 --> 00:10:36,122
Okay.
265
00:10:37,064 --> 00:10:39,024
One day I hope I find a guy like Ted.
266
00:10:39,436 --> 00:10:42,854
Someone who would literally
put all their hopes and dreams
267
00:10:42,879 --> 00:10:44,980
aside to be with me.
268
00:10:46,585 --> 00:10:47,826
Yeah.
269
00:10:48,625 --> 00:10:51,027
Yeah. Thanks for the chat, Twy.
270
00:10:51,127 --> 00:10:52,604
You're like my little fairy godmother,
271
00:10:52,629 --> 00:10:55,295
if she wore an apron,
and Celine Dion's perfume.
272
00:10:56,196 --> 00:10:58,186
Oh, so I've got a lot
of good material here,
273
00:10:58,211 --> 00:11:01,246
I just need some help
sifting out the gold.
274
00:11:01,271 --> 00:11:03,305
I still don't see why
you dragged us into this.
275
00:11:03,483 --> 00:11:05,317
Well, you can be a
tough audience, Ronnie.
276
00:11:05,342 --> 00:11:07,568
- What's that supposed to mean?
- See?
277
00:11:07,844 --> 00:11:10,713
That's what I'm looking
for, honest reactions.
278
00:11:10,814 --> 00:11:13,736
Well, I've been honestly
reacting quite strongly
279
00:11:13,761 --> 00:11:15,394
to your aftershave.
280
00:11:15,495 --> 00:11:18,463
It's a bit too European for my taste.
281
00:11:18,564 --> 00:11:20,808
Not the most helpful feedback, Bob.
282
00:11:20,833 --> 00:11:23,235
Look, now that you've
trapped us here, just...
283
00:11:23,260 --> 00:11:24,860
What-what do you got, Johnny?
284
00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:26,953
Okay, here we go.
285
00:11:27,075 --> 00:11:30,510
Well, it's 1791, and three
explorers have landed...
286
00:11:30,535 --> 00:11:31,835
Next.
287
00:11:35,906 --> 00:11:38,117
I was flipping through the
phone book the other day, and...
288
00:11:38,141 --> 00:11:39,909
The phone book? How old are these?!
289
00:11:40,086 --> 00:11:41,553
Well, you're not even letting me
290
00:11:41,578 --> 00:11:43,131
get to the punchlines, Ronnie.
291
00:11:43,156 --> 00:11:45,123
Johnny, you need a
search and rescue team
292
00:11:45,148 --> 00:11:47,550
to find the punchlines for those setups.
293
00:11:49,853 --> 00:11:53,246
Ah! Top ten things you don't want Roland
294
00:11:53,271 --> 00:11:55,352
- to be in charge of...
- Ten too many.
295
00:11:55,377 --> 00:11:57,011
Johnny, you gotta be short and quick,
296
00:11:57,036 --> 00:11:59,137
Like Roland in the bedroom.
297
00:11:59,162 --> 00:12:00,663
(Laughs)
298
00:12:00,688 --> 00:12:03,189
Now, that, that one kills every year.
299
00:12:03,303 --> 00:12:05,653
Oh no, I love that one,
is that one up for grabs?
300
00:12:05,678 --> 00:12:07,646
No. You've gotta go for the jugular,
301
00:12:07,671 --> 00:12:09,590
Just stay away from
spouses, kids, and health,
302
00:12:09,615 --> 00:12:10,816
and you'll be fine.
303
00:12:10,841 --> 00:12:13,476
Now, if you'll excuse me,
304
00:12:13,577 --> 00:12:15,845
I gotta get back to
work, which, up until now,
305
00:12:15,870 --> 00:12:18,338
was the most boring part of my day.
306
00:12:18,515 --> 00:12:21,183
Well, I'd love to use that
Roland in the bedroom joke.
307
00:12:21,284 --> 00:12:23,953
Fine, but I have a feeling
it ain't gonna help you.
308
00:12:23,978 --> 00:12:25,412
(Chuckles)
309
00:12:25,894 --> 00:12:29,311
Man, when she's on fire, look out!
310
00:12:29,901 --> 00:12:32,670
Well, you haven't seen me on fire, Bob.
311
00:12:35,365 --> 00:12:37,199
(Insects buzz)
312
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:39,878
I'm glad I let you talk me
into another dinner, David.
313
00:12:39,903 --> 00:12:42,280
That note you had
about including my name
314
00:12:42,305 --> 00:12:43,991
on the poster as a sales tool,
315
00:12:44,016 --> 00:12:46,251
that's something I've been
debating for some time now.
316
00:12:46,276 --> 00:12:47,954
Well, your name was
already on the all mock-ups,
317
00:12:47,978 --> 00:12:49,612
so it was really more of an observation.
318
00:12:49,637 --> 00:12:51,933
That reminds me, I must
pop by the rehearsal space,
319
00:12:51,958 --> 00:12:54,526
Jocelyn said some color
samples were dropped off today.
320
00:12:54,551 --> 00:12:55,889
Okay yeah, I... hmm.
321
00:12:55,914 --> 00:12:58,339
I don't know if-I don't know
if I need to see color samples,
322
00:12:58,364 --> 00:13:00,198
you just showed me all the mock-ups.
323
00:13:00,223 --> 00:13:02,335
But the printers require my
sign-off first thing, David.
324
00:13:02,359 --> 00:13:05,076
Well, it's-it's late, I mean, it's...
325
00:13:05,395 --> 00:13:08,177
It's 7:15. Are you sure
you should be walking
326
00:13:08,202 --> 00:13:10,518
over there alone at this hour?
327
00:13:10,543 --> 00:13:13,411
Okay David, no more "True Crime TV"
328
00:13:13,436 --> 00:13:15,189
before bed for you.
329
00:13:15,214 --> 00:13:17,450
I refuse to buy you
another night-light!
330
00:13:17,475 --> 00:13:20,619
Okay, well why don't I just
pick them up for you, then?
331
00:13:20,644 --> 00:13:22,819
- (Cell phone beeps)
- Ah!
332
00:13:23,980 --> 00:13:26,348
(Buttons click)
333
00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:27,907
Hey, be careful!
334
00:13:29,014 --> 00:13:31,329
♪
335
00:13:31,354 --> 00:13:33,232
Both: ♪ When you haven't
any coal in the stove ♪
336
00:13:33,256 --> 00:13:35,468
♪ And you freeze in the winter
and curse through the wind ♪
337
00:13:35,492 --> 00:13:37,927
♪ And your fate when you
haven't any shoes on your feet ♪
338
00:13:38,028 --> 00:13:39,361
♪ And your coat's thin as paper ♪
339
00:13:39,462 --> 00:13:40,940
♪ And you look 30
pounds underweight ♪
340
00:13:40,964 --> 00:13:42,364
♪ When you go to get a word
341
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,324
♪ Of advice from the
fat little pastor... ♪
342
00:13:44,349 --> 00:13:45,768
What the hell?!
343
00:13:45,869 --> 00:13:47,803
I don't-I don't know.
344
00:13:47,904 --> 00:13:48,904
Both: ♪ At the window...
345
00:13:48,972 --> 00:13:50,539
(Music, tapping)
346
00:13:50,564 --> 00:13:52,298
- ♪ At the window!
- ♪ Who's there?
347
00:13:52,475 --> 00:13:54,543
- ♪ Hunger!
- ♪ Ooh, hunger!
348
00:13:54,644 --> 00:13:57,246
Both: ♪ See how love
flies out the door ♪
349
00:13:57,347 --> 00:13:59,248
♪ Money makes the world go round ♪
350
00:13:59,349 --> 00:14:02,084
♪ The world go round the world... ♪
351
00:14:02,185 --> 00:14:04,119
♪ Money makes the world go round ♪
352
00:14:04,221 --> 00:14:06,789
♪ The clinking
clanking sound of... ♪
353
00:14:06,890 --> 00:14:09,191
♪ Money money money money
money money money money ♪
354
00:14:09,292 --> 00:14:10,598
- Get a little!
- Get a little!
355
00:14:10,623 --> 00:14:11,903
Both: ♪ Money money money money ♪
356
00:14:11,928 --> 00:14:14,096
♪ A mark, a yen, a
buck, or a pound ♪
357
00:14:14,197 --> 00:14:16,532
♪ Clinking clanking clunking sound ♪
358
00:14:16,633 --> 00:14:18,834
♪ It's all that makes
the world go round ♪
359
00:14:18,935 --> 00:14:21,637
♪ Makes the world go round!
360
00:14:21,738 --> 00:14:24,006
(Both panting and laughing)
361
00:14:25,442 --> 00:14:27,576
- Stevie: Oh my God.
- Ahem.
362
00:14:27,677 --> 00:14:30,145
David, what are you doing here?
363
00:14:30,247 --> 00:14:32,648
I have questions.
364
00:14:32,749 --> 00:14:34,817
Mrs. Rose, this is Derek.
365
00:14:34,918 --> 00:14:37,271
He's been just helping us
366
00:14:37,296 --> 00:14:39,531
practice the steps to the number.
367
00:14:39,556 --> 00:14:41,924
And how long have you
all been moonlighting?
368
00:14:42,025 --> 00:14:43,826
Just... just about a week.
369
00:14:43,927 --> 00:14:45,828
It's a really fun piece.
370
00:14:45,929 --> 00:14:47,755
Yes, I'm aware, thank you.
371
00:14:49,633 --> 00:14:51,310
- I'm just gonna head outside.
- Stevie: Yeah. Yes.
372
00:14:51,334 --> 00:14:52,434
Thanks, Derek.
373
00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:55,013
So all this time I
thought... Poor David thought
374
00:14:55,038 --> 00:14:58,073
that you were home,
resting your instruments!
375
00:14:58,098 --> 00:15:00,685
- Ohh...
- I'm so disappointed.
376
00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:03,599
- Both: Sorry, David.
- It's okay.
377
00:15:05,315 --> 00:15:08,060
However, in the business of show,
378
00:15:08,652 --> 00:15:12,740
skullduggery, when it leads
to such thrilling results,
379
00:15:12,765 --> 00:15:15,967
a pinch of moral corruption
is a small price to pay.
380
00:15:15,992 --> 00:15:17,860
(Clapping)
381
00:15:17,885 --> 00:15:19,919
- Oh, is that good?
- Yeah, I think so.
382
00:15:20,096 --> 00:15:21,497
You choreographed this?
383
00:15:21,522 --> 00:15:24,755
I loosened the pickle jar.
Derek merely popped the lid.
384
00:15:25,268 --> 00:15:26,802
Very impressed.
385
00:15:26,827 --> 00:15:28,628
Was not embarrassed at all.
386
00:15:28,653 --> 00:15:30,120
And I thought I would be.
387
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:32,008
So sweet.
388
00:15:33,476 --> 00:15:35,377
(Car rumbles, shuts engine off)
389
00:15:44,220 --> 00:15:45,387
Babe!
390
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,265
I didn't like how we
left things this morning.
391
00:15:48,258 --> 00:15:50,125
Me neither.
392
00:15:50,226 --> 00:15:52,171
I'm the one that should be sorry.
393
00:15:53,023 --> 00:15:55,149
No, I should've been more direct,
394
00:15:55,174 --> 00:15:57,008
and we should've just
talked this through.
395
00:15:57,033 --> 00:15:58,953
And I actually did some
research on the Maldives,
396
00:15:59,034 --> 00:16:00,845
and there's this beautiful
resort that we could stay at,
397
00:16:00,870 --> 00:16:03,857
it just means we might have
to work there part-time,
398
00:16:03,882 --> 00:16:04,883
to cover the costs.
399
00:16:04,908 --> 00:16:07,576
But I feel like I
could teach windsurfing.
400
00:16:07,601 --> 00:16:09,636
Of course you've done
research on this trip.
401
00:16:10,679 --> 00:16:12,780
But you've done too much for me already.
402
00:16:12,984 --> 00:16:14,929
You do too much for me.
403
00:16:15,376 --> 00:16:19,179
And so I think it's time that
I give something back to you.
404
00:16:19,389 --> 00:16:20,823
My FitBit?
405
00:16:20,848 --> 00:16:22,288
No. I lost that.
406
00:16:22,935 --> 00:16:24,402
But the last thing I wanna do
407
00:16:24,427 --> 00:16:26,161
is stand between you and this job.
408
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:29,046
You've worked so hard,
and I'm proud of you.
409
00:16:29,809 --> 00:16:33,378
And so, yes, Ted Mullens,
410
00:16:33,403 --> 00:16:35,371
I will go to the
Cayman Islands with you.
411
00:16:35,548 --> 00:16:36,915
Uh, you mean the Galapagos?
412
00:16:36,940 --> 00:16:38,307
Yeah, wherever the turtles are.
413
00:16:38,332 --> 00:16:40,466
Are you sure, sure?
414
00:16:40,643 --> 00:16:42,344
No. But, yes.
415
00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:43,469
(Both laugh)
416
00:16:43,646 --> 00:16:45,124
Muah! Alexis, you continue to amaze me.
417
00:16:45,148 --> 00:16:46,482
I can't wait to do this with you.
418
00:16:46,583 --> 00:16:48,183
Oh! We're gonna need to shots.
419
00:16:48,284 --> 00:16:49,752
Yes! Let's celebrate!
420
00:16:49,853 --> 00:16:51,854
Uh, no, no, no, I meant
like, vaccinations.
421
00:16:52,031 --> 00:16:53,164
Mm...
422
00:16:53,189 --> 00:16:54,934
Yeah, just 'cause we'll
be spending a lot of time
423
00:16:54,958 --> 00:16:56,602
in tents, and there
could be disease-carrying
424
00:16:56,626 --> 00:16:58,546
- insects around, so.
- Okay. Okay.
425
00:16:58,571 --> 00:17:00,438
Um, this is still very fresh.
426
00:17:00,463 --> 00:17:02,584
I made this decision
like, two minutes ago,
427
00:17:02,609 --> 00:17:05,820
so why don't we focus more on the beach,
428
00:17:05,845 --> 00:17:08,646
and less on the details?
429
00:17:08,671 --> 00:17:10,105
Fair enough.
430
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,210
(Laughs)
431
00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:14,662
(Raucous laughter)
432
00:17:14,687 --> 00:17:16,521
When it comes to making decisions,
433
00:17:16,546 --> 00:17:18,766
Roland likes to go with his gut.
434
00:17:18,791 --> 00:17:21,426
And boy, does he have
a lot of gut to go with.
435
00:17:21,451 --> 00:17:23,118
- Ohhhh!
- (All laugh)
436
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:24,772
Yes, I do.
437
00:17:24,797 --> 00:17:27,565
And look at Bob, pretending to get it.
438
00:17:27,590 --> 00:17:30,413
And we all know Gwen, he
hasn't gotten it in years!
439
00:17:30,438 --> 00:17:32,895
All: Ohhh! (Laughter)
440
00:17:32,996 --> 00:17:36,517
Oh, that-Ronnie is just crushing it!
441
00:17:36,542 --> 00:17:39,344
I mean, you know,
everybody really has so far.
442
00:17:39,369 --> 00:17:41,670
Okay, okay, that's all I got for now.
443
00:17:41,771 --> 00:17:44,473
So I'm just gonna
hand it over to the one
444
00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:46,566
who wears the pants in the Rose family.
445
00:17:46,591 --> 00:17:48,896
But Moira is not here right now.
446
00:17:48,921 --> 00:17:50,188
(Audience laughs)
447
00:17:50,213 --> 00:17:52,381
So I'm gonna pass it over to Johnny.
448
00:17:52,406 --> 00:17:54,859
All right, Johnny! Go on!
449
00:17:54,884 --> 00:17:56,185
Head on up there!
450
00:17:56,286 --> 00:18:00,289
Let's see what you've got up
your starched sleeve of yours.
451
00:18:00,390 --> 00:18:02,268
I'll tell you what I've
got up my sleeve Roland,
452
00:18:02,292 --> 00:18:05,394
a few tasty little rippers that uh...
453
00:18:05,495 --> 00:18:07,715
are more palatable than anything
454
00:18:07,740 --> 00:18:10,575
Jocelyn's been serving up tonight, so.
455
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,469
Hey, is that a crack about my cooking?
456
00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:15,938
From the guy who's had four helpings?
457
00:18:15,963 --> 00:18:17,163
- (All laugh)
- Roland: Yeah!
458
00:18:17,188 --> 00:18:19,984
Oh, and Bob's joking about
me having four helpings,
459
00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:23,430
we all know if you've ever
taken your car to Bob's Garage,
460
00:18:23,455 --> 00:18:27,592
he's not necessarily known
"four helpings" anyone.
461
00:18:27,617 --> 00:18:28,984
(Chuckles)
462
00:18:29,009 --> 00:18:31,277
(Silence, dog barks outside)
463
00:18:31,454 --> 00:18:33,862
Well anyway, a couple
of little improvs there
464
00:18:33,887 --> 00:18:37,492
to get started, but uh, uh...
465
00:18:38,294 --> 00:18:41,296
- what was I saying?
- Nothing funny so far.
466
00:18:41,397 --> 00:18:43,165
(Roland laughs)
467
00:18:43,266 --> 00:18:45,319
Hey Johnny, come on,
I've got a white flag,
468
00:18:45,344 --> 00:18:48,062
- why don't you just start waving it?
- All: Ohhh!
469
00:18:48,110 --> 00:18:50,792
Yeah, Roland, may I
point out that I was quiet
470
00:18:50,817 --> 00:18:54,119
when everyone else was up
here doing their roasts.
471
00:18:54,144 --> 00:18:56,211
I wish you were quiet right now!
472
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:58,256
(All laugh)
473
00:18:58,281 --> 00:19:01,083
Well, things seem to
be going downhill fast.
474
00:19:01,184 --> 00:19:03,437
Which is what the town must've
been thinking when Roland
475
00:19:03,462 --> 00:19:05,630
elected himself Mayor.
476
00:19:05,655 --> 00:19:07,089
(Audience laughs)
477
00:19:07,114 --> 00:19:08,851
Okay, I'll give him that.
478
00:19:09,492 --> 00:19:11,493
Oh, got a smile out of Ronnie.
479
00:19:11,618 --> 00:19:13,373
The last time anyone saw her this happy
480
00:19:13,398 --> 00:19:17,041
was at a 3-for-1 sale on cargo pants!
481
00:19:17,066 --> 00:19:19,201
(Audience laughs)
482
00:19:19,302 --> 00:19:20,836
Where? Where?
483
00:19:20,937 --> 00:19:22,804
(Audience laughs)
484
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:25,497
All right, Johnny, starting
to make some moves, now.
485
00:19:25,522 --> 00:19:27,085
Cargo, I said car-go,
486
00:19:27,110 --> 00:19:29,378
which is what a car is supposed to do...
487
00:19:29,555 --> 00:19:31,756
unless you take it to Bob's Garage!
488
00:19:31,781 --> 00:19:33,482
(All laugh)
489
00:19:36,226 --> 00:19:38,297
Well listen, I don't want
to overstay my welcome,
490
00:19:38,321 --> 00:19:40,355
I'll keep things short and quick.
491
00:19:40,456 --> 00:19:44,511
Which reminds me of the last
time I was in Roland's bedroom,
492
00:19:44,536 --> 00:19:46,070
um... well,
493
00:19:46,095 --> 00:19:48,263
I-I wasn't in Roland's
bedroom, but the...
494
00:19:49,198 --> 00:19:51,943
- Ah! What was it, Ronnie?
- Just sit down, Johnny.
495
00:19:51,968 --> 00:19:54,968
Well anyway, the punchline
is, it was short and quick.
496
00:19:55,305 --> 00:19:56,738
(Forced laughter)
497
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:59,882
Anyway, I'm gonna quit
while I'm ahead, folks.
498
00:20:00,109 --> 00:20:01,343
(Audience laughs)
499
00:20:01,444 --> 00:20:03,212
I think it's a little
late for that, pal.
500
00:20:03,237 --> 00:20:05,171
- Ohhh!
- (Audience laughs)
501
00:20:06,249 --> 00:20:07,816
Good job, Johnny, all right.
502
00:20:07,917 --> 00:20:09,284
(Audience laughs)
503
00:20:13,523 --> 00:20:15,611
Johnny: No, I wish you guys
could've been there tonight.
504
00:20:15,636 --> 00:20:17,803
I was really ripping into them.
505
00:20:17,828 --> 00:20:19,528
Yes, I'm sure you killed them, dear,
506
00:20:19,629 --> 00:20:21,664
with all the venom of a silkworm.
507
00:20:21,765 --> 00:20:23,065
Oh, you know what, Moira?
508
00:20:23,166 --> 00:20:25,100
Jealousy doesn't look good on you.
509
00:20:25,202 --> 00:20:27,336
Much like that mirrored
jumpsuit you wore
510
00:20:27,437 --> 00:20:29,205
to Candy Spelling's 50th!
511
00:20:29,306 --> 00:20:31,640
- John!
- Oh my God, Dad!
512
00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:33,700
Why don't you take it easy, Alexis,
513
00:20:33,725 --> 00:20:35,854
like you did with your education?
514
00:20:35,879 --> 00:20:37,179
- (Laughs)
- Ugh!
515
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,233
- I mean, he's not wrong.
- Oh, look at David.
516
00:20:39,258 --> 00:20:40,859
Smart enough to get that joke,
517
00:20:40,884 --> 00:20:43,404
but not smart enough
to stop wearing sweaters
518
00:20:43,429 --> 00:20:44,863
in the middle of summer.
519
00:20:44,888 --> 00:20:46,522
Burn, David!
520
00:20:46,623 --> 00:20:48,524
Okay, here's why that joke didn't work.
521
00:20:48,625 --> 00:20:50,526
And look at you, John.
522
00:20:50,627 --> 00:20:52,561
A worthy competitor emerges.
523
00:20:52,662 --> 00:20:54,930
Something the good people
at Blockbuster never said
524
00:20:55,031 --> 00:20:57,418
about Rose Video. Ha! Ha!
525
00:20:57,443 --> 00:21:00,412
That was low, like David's standards.
526
00:21:00,437 --> 00:21:01,670
(Laughs)
527
00:21:01,695 --> 00:21:05,050
Or the placement of Alexis' back tattoo.
528
00:21:05,075 --> 00:21:06,909
Alexis has a back tattoo?
529
00:21:06,934 --> 00:21:09,421
Alexis, what have you done to yourself?!
530
00:21:09,446 --> 00:21:12,316
It says "that's hot" in Cantonese.
531
00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:15,382
- Got it in Hong Kong.
- Ugh!
532
00:21:16,887 --> 00:21:18,888
I was 12-years-old!
533
00:21:19,638 --> 00:21:24,638
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
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