Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,125 --> 00:00:01,225
(Both laughing)
2
00:00:01,326 --> 00:00:03,160
(Snort) Stop, oh my God!
3
00:00:03,261 --> 00:00:05,162
Oh!
4
00:00:05,187 --> 00:00:06,992
You must be having a lovely morning.
5
00:00:07,017 --> 00:00:08,718
Hey now, it's just getting started.
6
00:00:08,743 --> 00:00:10,210
Is it just getting started?
7
00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:12,271
Because it looks like the
two of you have been engaged
8
00:00:12,296 --> 00:00:14,514
in general merriment
for quite some time now.
9
00:00:14,703 --> 00:00:16,905
- Did he just say "merriment?"
- I think he did.
10
00:00:16,930 --> 00:00:18,664
Yes, I said "merriment."
11
00:00:18,764 --> 00:00:20,508
Because that's what happens
when I spend too much time
12
00:00:20,533 --> 00:00:23,093
with my mother, and I
blame you two for it.
13
00:00:23,847 --> 00:00:25,547
So how was uh, dinner last night?
14
00:00:25,572 --> 00:00:27,749
Ooh, long. We spent two and a half hours
15
00:00:27,774 --> 00:00:30,518
going over a costume
lineup for the show.
16
00:00:30,543 --> 00:00:32,717
All so that you two
of you could sneak off
17
00:00:32,757 --> 00:00:34,665
to some secret dance
rehearsal behind her back
18
00:00:34,690 --> 00:00:36,424
like a pair of dirty con artists.
19
00:00:36,525 --> 00:00:39,394
Hey listen, David, your
Mom is a great director.
20
00:00:39,495 --> 00:00:41,629
She's just not used to
working with amateur dancers.
21
00:00:41,730 --> 00:00:42,997
Yeah, last week she told me
22
00:00:43,022 --> 00:00:46,289
to dance like an Indonesian
scarf caught in the wind.
23
00:00:46,860 --> 00:00:49,027
I don't even know what that looks like.
24
00:00:49,128 --> 00:00:50,606
This "Money" number is so complicated
25
00:00:50,630 --> 00:00:52,897
that if we don't get the outside help,
26
00:00:52,922 --> 00:00:55,044
we will be laughed off
stage. You've seen me dance.
27
00:00:55,068 --> 00:00:56,478
Yes, you have legs like tree trunks,
28
00:00:56,502 --> 00:00:58,737
- we knew that going into this.
- Thank you.
29
00:00:58,838 --> 00:01:02,059
Can we just have one more
private session with Derek,
30
00:01:02,084 --> 00:01:04,252
- and then it's done.
- One more session?!
31
00:01:04,277 --> 00:01:06,254
I thought last night
was the last session!
32
00:01:06,279 --> 00:01:07,839
Well, we couldn't nail the final lift.
33
00:01:07,864 --> 00:01:09,664
What is this, "Dirty Dancing?!"
34
00:01:09,689 --> 00:01:12,924
David, please, just keep her
distracted for one more night.
35
00:01:13,881 --> 00:01:16,331
No. No! It's too much!
36
00:01:16,432 --> 00:01:18,333
Okay, then I guess we can just...
37
00:01:18,435 --> 00:01:20,235
tell her we're getting outside help.
38
00:01:20,336 --> 00:01:21,836
Mm, good luck.
39
00:01:21,937 --> 00:01:24,339
When she was coaching me for
the "Little Mister" pageant,
40
00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:26,965
I made the mistake of going
to Mario Lopez for advice,
41
00:01:26,990 --> 00:01:28,367
he was the hosting at the time.
42
00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:30,945
Anyway, she found out,
and felt so betrayed,
43
00:01:31,046 --> 00:01:33,414
she "forgot" to
double-knot my tap shoes,
44
00:01:33,439 --> 00:01:34,973
and cost me the crown.
45
00:01:35,107 --> 00:01:38,419
So I will cover for
you for one more night.
46
00:01:38,537 --> 00:01:40,105
But that is it!
47
00:01:41,311 --> 00:01:42,724
This better be worth it.
48
00:01:42,749 --> 00:01:44,583
Excuse me, I have a job to do. Oh.
49
00:01:44,684 --> 00:01:48,954
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
50
00:01:50,023 --> 00:01:51,924
(Birds chirp, dog barks)
51
00:01:54,703 --> 00:01:56,671
Mm, Ted, it smells so good in here!
52
00:01:56,696 --> 00:01:57,930
What's the occasion?
53
00:01:57,955 --> 00:02:00,241
Brunch. That we were
supposed to make together.
54
00:02:00,266 --> 00:02:02,367
Oh, don't worry, babe,
I've already eaten.
55
00:02:02,467 --> 00:02:04,112
So then I guess I'll
just have your plate
56
00:02:04,137 --> 00:02:05,971
- for dinner, then.
- Mm, yum!
57
00:02:05,996 --> 00:02:08,774
Hey, so I was thinking
about maybe going into work
58
00:02:08,799 --> 00:02:10,733
- a little bit later today.
- Ah!
59
00:02:10,987 --> 00:02:14,289
Yay, if that means more
Teddy time for me, then yes.
60
00:02:14,314 --> 00:02:17,348
No actually, I've been
thinking about maybe
61
00:02:17,373 --> 00:02:20,528
taking a longer break from work.
62
00:02:20,553 --> 00:02:22,187
I'm listening.
63
00:02:22,288 --> 00:02:24,790
What if we got out of
town, just the two of us?
64
00:02:24,929 --> 00:02:27,530
- Like Thelma and Louise?
- Nope.
65
00:02:27,593 --> 00:02:30,028
Uh no, I was thinking
somewhere more exotic, like,
66
00:02:30,129 --> 00:02:32,332
I don't know, somewhere that
would have beaches for you,
67
00:02:32,357 --> 00:02:34,142
and some interesting wildlife for me?
68
00:02:34,243 --> 00:02:36,611
Okay, I've just been to
Miami so many times before,
69
00:02:36,636 --> 00:02:39,404
and trust me, the "wildlife"
is not as sexy up close.
70
00:02:39,582 --> 00:02:41,316
No, I'm talking about farther away.
71
00:02:41,341 --> 00:02:43,584
Like, I don't know...
72
00:02:43,609 --> 00:02:46,144
the Galapagos Islands.
73
00:02:46,245 --> 00:02:48,180
- I love that.
- Really?
74
00:02:48,281 --> 00:02:50,315
Yes, as a jumping-off point, yes!
75
00:02:50,340 --> 00:02:52,543
But if we're thinking islands,
why don't we do something
76
00:02:52,568 --> 00:02:55,530
less sleepy and scary,
like, The Maldives?
77
00:02:55,555 --> 00:02:56,899
Definitely something to consider.
78
00:02:56,999 --> 00:03:00,134
And I guess while
we're spit-balling here,
79
00:03:00,159 --> 00:03:01,979
you know, it could be
kinda fun to go somewhere
80
00:03:02,004 --> 00:03:03,538
that you've never been before.
81
00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:06,808
Like, I don't know,
the Galapagos Islands.
82
00:03:06,910 --> 00:03:09,344
Yes, Ted! An island somewhere for sure.
83
00:03:09,369 --> 00:03:12,404
We just need to figure out where. Mm.
84
00:03:12,505 --> 00:03:14,740
But I'm so glad we're on
the same page about this!
85
00:03:14,841 --> 00:03:16,241
Yeah, yeah.
86
00:03:16,342 --> 00:03:17,943
And-And what page is that?
87
00:03:18,044 --> 00:03:20,412
Well, we both agree
that we wanna get away,
88
00:03:20,512 --> 00:03:21,789
and we both agree that we're gonna land
89
00:03:21,814 --> 00:03:23,842
on somewhere so good.
90
00:03:26,076 --> 00:03:27,358
Mhmm!
91
00:03:30,356 --> 00:03:32,810
Roland: Hey, Johnny. I heard the news.
92
00:03:32,835 --> 00:03:34,669
Boy, we are really going
to miss Moira tonight
93
00:03:34,694 --> 00:03:36,161
at the annual Mayor's Roast.
94
00:03:36,186 --> 00:03:38,473
I was looking forward
to getting scorched.
95
00:03:38,498 --> 00:03:40,712
Oh yeah, well, she's gonna miss it, too.
96
00:03:40,737 --> 00:03:42,661
Yeah, I mean, when she starts going off,
97
00:03:42,686 --> 00:03:45,789
oh my God, you better have
the burn unit on speed dial.
98
00:03:45,814 --> 00:03:47,758
I mean, get the fire
extinguishers ready,
99
00:03:47,783 --> 00:03:50,952
because she is just slinging heat!
100
00:03:50,977 --> 00:03:53,345
- Which ultimately becomes fire.
- Yeah, I get it, I get it.
101
00:03:53,370 --> 00:03:55,089
She can, she can be funny on occasion.
102
00:03:55,114 --> 00:03:57,535
Yeah, it's okay though,
I've got uh, Bob's cousin,
103
00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:59,027
Louis, from Elm County,
104
00:03:59,052 --> 00:04:00,786
he's gonna come in and
fill in for her, so.
105
00:04:00,811 --> 00:04:04,532
Yeah well, Louis' the last
guy that should be driving in
106
00:04:04,557 --> 00:04:07,292
for tonight. Uh no, I-I uh...
107
00:04:07,317 --> 00:04:10,381
I'm more than capable
of taking Moira's place.
108
00:04:10,406 --> 00:04:11,773
Johnny, I don't think so.
109
00:04:11,798 --> 00:04:14,251
Those are pretty high heels to fill.
110
00:04:14,276 --> 00:04:16,544
Well, don't you worry
about me, I've uh...
111
00:04:16,645 --> 00:04:19,814
I've handled myself pretty
well humorously speaking,
112
00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:21,573
in front of large crowds before.
113
00:04:21,951 --> 00:04:23,651
Jeez, if you bring up that Rose Video
114
00:04:23,676 --> 00:04:25,210
shareholder's meeting again...
115
00:04:25,311 --> 00:04:28,366
You better be spending this
time toughening your skin,
116
00:04:28,391 --> 00:04:30,425
Because I've got more than a few...
117
00:04:30,450 --> 00:04:32,417
rippers up my sleeve for tonight.
118
00:04:32,537 --> 00:04:36,774
Okay um, first off, I have
no idea what "rippers" are.
119
00:04:36,799 --> 00:04:38,066
Well, maybe you'd know,
120
00:04:38,091 --> 00:04:40,792
if you graduated elementary school.
121
00:04:40,817 --> 00:04:42,118
(Guffaws)
122
00:04:42,143 --> 00:04:44,411
I can't believe you said that to me.
123
00:04:44,726 --> 00:04:48,095
Oh Roland, I'm sorry,
did I... Was that too far?
124
00:04:49,010 --> 00:04:51,445
(Laughs) Look at your face!
125
00:04:51,470 --> 00:04:54,406
"Oh Roland, I'm sorry,
did I go too far?"
126
00:04:54,431 --> 00:04:55,631
(Laughs)
127
00:04:55,656 --> 00:04:59,311
Oh pal, you are going to
get eaten alive tonight!
128
00:04:59,336 --> 00:05:01,889
(Door latch clicks, slams)
129
00:05:01,914 --> 00:05:04,649
(Insects buzz, birds chirp)
130
00:05:06,167 --> 00:05:08,029
- (Horn honks)
- Oh!
131
00:05:08,054 --> 00:05:10,094
Moira: David! What are you
doing walking the streets
132
00:05:10,189 --> 00:05:11,423
all by yourself?
133
00:05:11,524 --> 00:05:13,310
You make me sound like a feral cat.
134
00:05:13,335 --> 00:05:14,635
I'm walking home.
135
00:05:14,660 --> 00:05:17,562
Don't tell me the store is
already laying off people!
136
00:05:17,739 --> 00:05:19,731
No, Patrick sent me home to get a check
137
00:05:19,756 --> 00:05:21,909
that apparently is
tax for the government,
138
00:05:21,934 --> 00:05:24,736
and not, as I assumed, a bonus for me.
139
00:05:24,908 --> 00:05:27,224
Well, I'm glad I caught you,
because I got your missive
140
00:05:27,249 --> 00:05:28,816
about wanting to sup this evening,
141
00:05:28,841 --> 00:05:30,775
and I'm afraid I must decline.
142
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,498
What? Why? Why?
143
00:05:33,446 --> 00:05:34,631
David, full disclosure,
144
00:05:34,656 --> 00:05:37,058
you have been awfully clingy of late.
145
00:05:37,083 --> 00:05:38,150
Okay...
146
00:05:38,175 --> 00:05:40,328
I think it might be
propitious for you to spend
147
00:05:40,353 --> 00:05:41,853
some time with your peers.
148
00:05:42,030 --> 00:05:44,632
What's Patrick doing tonight? Or Stevie?
149
00:05:44,813 --> 00:05:46,347
They're um, busy.
150
00:05:47,201 --> 00:05:50,638
Busy? Well, rehearsals
end sharply at six,
151
00:05:50,663 --> 00:05:52,430
so either one of them should be free
152
00:05:52,455 --> 00:05:54,389
to dine with you thereafter.
153
00:05:54,414 --> 00:05:57,345
I just don't think
they're available tonight.
154
00:05:57,446 --> 00:05:59,380
Hmm, too tired?
155
00:05:59,405 --> 00:06:01,506
- Mm, yes. Yeah.
- Yes.
156
00:06:01,607 --> 00:06:03,108
They've both been struggling.
157
00:06:03,133 --> 00:06:05,401
Yeah, that's-that's it.
158
00:06:05,578 --> 00:06:08,713
Your choreography has
been working them so hard
159
00:06:08,738 --> 00:06:11,225
they basically just
go home and fall sleep,
160
00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:13,538
so actually your show
161
00:06:13,563 --> 00:06:15,163
is stripping me of a social life.
162
00:06:15,188 --> 00:06:18,375
Alright, David, but it'll
have to be a working repast.
163
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,735
I could use your eye for the
final design of the posters.
164
00:06:20,836 --> 00:06:22,637
Okay? You employ the wrong font,
165
00:06:22,662 --> 00:06:26,107
and you may as well bid Auf
Wiedersehen to ticket sales.
166
00:06:26,806 --> 00:06:29,007
- Can't wait.
- Until then, dear!
167
00:06:30,036 --> 00:06:32,264
We're both going home though!
168
00:06:32,939 --> 00:06:34,623
What the hell?!
169
00:06:35,074 --> 00:06:37,428
Alexis, you don't need
to do those dishes.
170
00:06:38,611 --> 00:06:40,189
I didn't, I just put
them on the counter.
171
00:06:40,213 --> 00:06:42,981
Um, I also found this on the counter.
172
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:45,349
"Charles Darwin Research Center."
173
00:06:45,751 --> 00:06:47,528
- What is this?
- Oh, nothing.
174
00:06:47,553 --> 00:06:49,955
Just-just some work stuff.
175
00:06:50,055 --> 00:06:51,799
It says you were one
of ten people selected
176
00:06:51,824 --> 00:06:53,647
for a research program.
177
00:06:54,504 --> 00:06:56,571
Oh, what?
178
00:06:56,596 --> 00:06:58,697
That's... crazy.
179
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:01,390
Is this why you kept bringing
up those islands this morning?
180
00:07:01,467 --> 00:07:03,344
Oh, the Galapagos Islands?
181
00:07:03,369 --> 00:07:06,170
Uh, not necessarily, no.
182
00:07:06,540 --> 00:07:08,941
Ted, why else would
anyone wanna go there?
183
00:07:09,732 --> 00:07:12,711
You mean, other than wanting
to study some of the rarest
184
00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:16,029
and most diverse forms of plant
and animal life on the planet?
185
00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:19,030
Uh, yeah, I guess you have a point.
186
00:07:19,218 --> 00:07:22,120
You were selected out of
thousands of applicants?
187
00:07:22,220 --> 00:07:23,965
It just means that they'll
have plenty of people
188
00:07:23,990 --> 00:07:25,272
to pick from when I don't accept.
189
00:07:25,981 --> 00:07:27,448
Ted!
190
00:07:27,836 --> 00:07:29,937
Why didn't you tell
me you were doing this?
191
00:07:29,962 --> 00:07:32,063
Because I applied before
we got back together,
192
00:07:32,088 --> 00:07:35,068
and it takes a couple years
to process the applications.
193
00:07:35,093 --> 00:07:37,161
A couple years? It sounds important.
194
00:07:37,412 --> 00:07:40,357
Well, listen, it's not not important.
195
00:07:40,382 --> 00:07:42,583
But I can, I can always apply again.
196
00:07:42,684 --> 00:07:44,719
You know, Emmett, the
tortoise is 180-years-old,
197
00:07:44,744 --> 00:07:47,779
So I'm sure he'll still be
around in another few years.
198
00:07:47,956 --> 00:07:51,334
You love old tortoises!
It sounds like a dream.
199
00:07:51,550 --> 00:07:53,584
How long is the program?
200
00:07:53,850 --> 00:07:55,295
Six months.
201
00:07:56,164 --> 00:07:58,489
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah, see,
202
00:07:58,514 --> 00:08:00,568
this is why I didn't wanna push
it on you this morning, okay?
203
00:08:00,593 --> 00:08:04,053
Because you mean way more
to me than some dumb...
204
00:08:04,746 --> 00:08:06,614
once-in-a-lifetime
job opportunity.
205
00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:09,414
Ted, I don't know what to say.
206
00:08:09,469 --> 00:08:11,303
I'd totally think about it, but like,
207
00:08:11,537 --> 00:08:12,871
my laptop's here...
208
00:08:12,896 --> 00:08:14,678
Okay, honestly, just
don't worry about it.
209
00:08:15,004 --> 00:08:16,471
Well, what about long distance?
210
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,486
I once maintained a
successful, semi-committed
211
00:08:18,511 --> 00:08:19,954
text relationship with Josh Hartnett
212
00:08:19,979 --> 00:08:21,622
while he was shooting "Pearl Harbor".
213
00:08:21,647 --> 00:08:24,614
Okay, Alexis, I appreciate
your creative problem solving,
214
00:08:24,639 --> 00:08:27,862
But. you know, I-I wouldn't
stay if I didn't feel
215
00:08:27,887 --> 00:08:30,795
like it was... it was
the right choice for me.
216
00:08:31,757 --> 00:08:33,491
Babe, are you sure?
217
00:08:33,516 --> 00:08:35,369
- Yes.
- But are you sure, sure?
218
00:08:35,394 --> 00:08:37,539
Because I don't want you to
not go like, just because of me.
219
00:08:37,563 --> 00:08:39,308
Okay Alexis, that's
exactly what's happening,
220
00:08:39,333 --> 00:08:40,708
but it's fine, okay?
221
00:08:40,733 --> 00:08:43,501
And I told you that it's
fine, so it's-it's fine!
222
00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:45,232
- Okay.
- Okay.
223
00:08:45,455 --> 00:08:47,389
(Magazine rustles)
224
00:08:48,037 --> 00:08:51,152
Okay... so we're all good, then.
225
00:08:51,177 --> 00:08:53,678
That was a good talk for everyone.
226
00:08:53,855 --> 00:08:55,589
You know what I am gonna do?
227
00:08:55,614 --> 00:08:57,592
I'm gonna do those dishes.
228
00:08:59,644 --> 00:09:01,490
Babe, do you have a dishwasher?
229
00:09:03,833 --> 00:09:06,501
Okay, I'm just gonna... I'm
gonna figure it out then.
230
00:09:07,460 --> 00:09:08,693
Okay.
231
00:09:10,429 --> 00:09:12,197
(Dish clatters)
232
00:09:16,975 --> 00:09:19,076
(Alexis sighs loudly)
233
00:09:21,283 --> 00:09:22,686
(Giggles)
234
00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,241
Sounds like someone's in a good mood.
235
00:09:25,342 --> 00:09:27,543
What? Me? Oh.
236
00:09:27,644 --> 00:09:29,912
Sorry, you know those days
where you're just like,
237
00:09:30,013 --> 00:09:33,015
- super in love?
- Hmm, not really.
238
00:09:33,124 --> 00:09:36,126
You will. Anyway, I'm just
thinking about Ted and me.
239
00:09:36,219 --> 00:09:38,996
I can't believe we've come
such a long way, you know?
240
00:09:39,021 --> 00:09:40,056
Aww!
241
00:09:40,157 --> 00:09:41,997
Yeah. I just feel so
lucky to be with someone
242
00:09:42,025 --> 00:09:43,873
who would do anything for me.
243
00:09:43,898 --> 00:09:46,372
Like, I just found out that he
got this crazy job opportunity,
244
00:09:46,396 --> 00:09:48,965
and he's turning it
down just to be with me.
245
00:09:49,142 --> 00:09:51,677
Wow. That is lucky.
246
00:09:51,702 --> 00:09:54,971
He was ten people picked
out of like, ten thousand.
247
00:09:55,072 --> 00:09:56,739
Oh my God, and he's not going?
248
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,516
No, I think his perspective
249
00:09:58,541 --> 00:10:00,252
was that there would
be other opportunities.
250
00:10:00,277 --> 00:10:04,068
Still, that must be totally
heartbreaking for him.
251
00:10:04,615 --> 00:10:07,693
But I guess relationships
are all about sacrifice.
252
00:10:08,029 --> 00:10:09,661
Oh my God, yes, Ted and I are so good
253
00:10:09,686 --> 00:10:11,572
at that whole give and take thing.
254
00:10:11,597 --> 00:10:13,632
Like, he gives me so much,
255
00:10:13,657 --> 00:10:16,368
and I have learned to take as well.
256
00:10:16,393 --> 00:10:19,270
And I'm sure you give things up for him
257
00:10:19,295 --> 00:10:20,973
all the time as well.
258
00:10:20,998 --> 00:10:22,264
Totally.
259
00:10:22,442 --> 00:10:24,009
But also, he never really asks me to,
260
00:10:24,034 --> 00:10:25,895
so that's hard for me to do for him.
261
00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:28,046
But if he did, I would.
262
00:10:28,196 --> 00:10:29,997
Oh, so he didn't ask you to go with him?
263
00:10:31,687 --> 00:10:33,254
Not technically.
264
00:10:34,589 --> 00:10:36,122
Okay.
265
00:10:37,064 --> 00:10:39,024
One day I hope I find a guy like Ted.
266
00:10:39,436 --> 00:10:42,854
Someone who would literally
put all their hopes and dreams
267
00:10:42,879 --> 00:10:44,980
aside to be with me.
268
00:10:46,585 --> 00:10:47,826
Yeah.
269
00:10:48,625 --> 00:10:51,027
Yeah. Thanks for the chat, Twy.
270
00:10:51,127 --> 00:10:52,604
You're like my little fairy godmother,
271
00:10:52,629 --> 00:10:55,295
if she wore an apron,
and Celine Dion's perfume.
272
00:10:56,196 --> 00:10:58,186
Oh, so I've got a lot
of good material here,
273
00:10:58,211 --> 00:11:01,246
I just need some help
sifting out the gold.
274
00:11:01,271 --> 00:11:03,305
I still don't see why
you dragged us into this.
275
00:11:03,483 --> 00:11:05,317
Well, you can be a
tough audience, Ronnie.
276
00:11:05,342 --> 00:11:07,568
- What's that supposed to mean?
- See?
277
00:11:07,844 --> 00:11:10,713
That's what I'm looking
for, honest reactions.
278
00:11:10,814 --> 00:11:13,736
Well, I've been honestly
reacting quite strongly
279
00:11:13,761 --> 00:11:15,394
to your aftershave.
280
00:11:15,495 --> 00:11:18,463
It's a bit too European for my taste.
281
00:11:18,564 --> 00:11:20,808
Not the most helpful feedback, Bob.
282
00:11:20,833 --> 00:11:23,235
Look, now that you've
trapped us here, just...
283
00:11:23,260 --> 00:11:24,860
What-what do you got, Johnny?
284
00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:26,953
Okay, here we go.
285
00:11:27,075 --> 00:11:30,510
Well, it's 1791, and three
explorers have landed...
286
00:11:30,535 --> 00:11:31,835
Next.
287
00:11:35,906 --> 00:11:38,117
I was flipping through the
phone book the other day, and...
288
00:11:38,141 --> 00:11:39,909
The phone book? How old are these?!
289
00:11:40,086 --> 00:11:41,553
Well, you're not even letting me
290
00:11:41,578 --> 00:11:43,131
get to the punchlines, Ronnie.
291
00:11:43,156 --> 00:11:45,123
Johnny, you need a
search and rescue team
292
00:11:45,148 --> 00:11:47,550
to find the punchlines for those setups.
293
00:11:49,853 --> 00:11:53,246
Ah! Top ten things you don't want Roland
294
00:11:53,271 --> 00:11:55,352
- to be in charge of...
- Ten too many.
295
00:11:55,377 --> 00:11:57,011
Johnny, you gotta be short and quick,
296
00:11:57,036 --> 00:11:59,137
Like Roland in the bedroom.
297
00:11:59,162 --> 00:12:00,663
(Laughs)
298
00:12:00,688 --> 00:12:03,189
Now, that, that one kills every year.
299
00:12:03,303 --> 00:12:05,653
Oh no, I love that one,
is that one up for grabs?
300
00:12:05,678 --> 00:12:07,646
No. You've gotta go for the jugular,
301
00:12:07,671 --> 00:12:09,590
Just stay away from
spouses, kids, and health,
302
00:12:09,615 --> 00:12:10,816
and you'll be fine.
303
00:12:10,841 --> 00:12:13,476
Now, if you'll excuse me,
304
00:12:13,577 --> 00:12:15,845
I gotta get back to
work, which, up until now,
305
00:12:15,870 --> 00:12:18,338
was the most boring part of my day.
306
00:12:18,515 --> 00:12:21,183
Well, I'd love to use that
Roland in the bedroom joke.
307
00:12:21,284 --> 00:12:23,953
Fine, but I have a feeling
it ain't gonna help you.
308
00:12:23,978 --> 00:12:25,412
(Chuckles)
309
00:12:25,894 --> 00:12:29,311
Man, when she's on fire, look out!
310
00:12:29,901 --> 00:12:32,670
Well, you haven't seen me on fire, Bob.
311
00:12:35,365 --> 00:12:37,199
(Insects buzz)
312
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:39,878
I'm glad I let you talk me
into another dinner, David.
313
00:12:39,903 --> 00:12:42,280
That note you had
about including my name
314
00:12:42,305 --> 00:12:43,991
on the poster as a sales tool,
315
00:12:44,016 --> 00:12:46,251
that's something I've been
debating for some time now.
316
00:12:46,276 --> 00:12:47,954
Well, your name was
already on the all mock-ups,
317
00:12:47,978 --> 00:12:49,612
so it was really more of an observation.
318
00:12:49,637 --> 00:12:51,933
That reminds me, I must
pop by the rehearsal space,
319
00:12:51,958 --> 00:12:54,526
Jocelyn said some color
samples were dropped off today.
320
00:12:54,551 --> 00:12:55,889
Okay yeah, I... hmm.
321
00:12:55,914 --> 00:12:58,339
I don't know if-I don't know
if I need to see color samples,
322
00:12:58,364 --> 00:13:00,198
you just showed me all the mock-ups.
323
00:13:00,223 --> 00:13:02,335
But the printers require my
sign-off first thing, David.
324
00:13:02,359 --> 00:13:05,076
Well, it's-it's late, I mean, it's...
325
00:13:05,395 --> 00:13:08,177
It's 7:15. Are you sure
you should be walking
326
00:13:08,202 --> 00:13:10,518
over there alone at this hour?
327
00:13:10,543 --> 00:13:13,411
Okay David, no more "True Crime TV"
328
00:13:13,436 --> 00:13:15,189
before bed for you.
329
00:13:15,214 --> 00:13:17,450
I refuse to buy you
another night-light!
330
00:13:17,475 --> 00:13:20,619
Okay, well why don't I just
pick them up for you, then?
331
00:13:20,644 --> 00:13:22,819
- (Cell phone beeps)
- Ah!
332
00:13:23,980 --> 00:13:26,348
(Buttons click)
333
00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:27,907
Hey, be careful!
334
00:13:29,014 --> 00:13:31,329
♪
335
00:13:31,354 --> 00:13:33,232
Both: ♪ When you haven't
any coal in the stove ♪
336
00:13:33,256 --> 00:13:35,468
♪ And you freeze in the winter
and curse through the wind ♪
337
00:13:35,492 --> 00:13:37,927
♪ And your fate when you
haven't any shoes on your feet ♪
338
00:13:38,028 --> 00:13:39,361
♪ And your coat's thin as paper ♪
339
00:13:39,462 --> 00:13:40,940
♪ And you look 30
pounds underweight ♪
340
00:13:40,964 --> 00:13:42,364
♪ When you go to get a word
341
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,324
♪ Of advice from the
fat little pastor... ♪
342
00:13:44,349 --> 00:13:45,768
What the hell?!
343
00:13:45,869 --> 00:13:47,803
I don't-I don't know.
344
00:13:47,904 --> 00:13:48,904
Both: ♪ At the window...
345
00:13:48,972 --> 00:13:50,539
(Music, tapping)
346
00:13:50,564 --> 00:13:52,298
- ♪ At the window!
- ♪ Who's there?
347
00:13:52,475 --> 00:13:54,543
- ♪ Hunger!
- ♪ Ooh, hunger!
348
00:13:54,644 --> 00:13:57,246
Both: ♪ See how love
flies out the door ♪
349
00:13:57,347 --> 00:13:59,248
♪ Money makes the world go round ♪
350
00:13:59,349 --> 00:14:02,084
♪ The world go round the world... ♪
351
00:14:02,185 --> 00:14:04,119
♪ Money makes the world go round ♪
352
00:14:04,221 --> 00:14:06,789
♪ The clinking
clanking sound of... ♪
353
00:14:06,890 --> 00:14:09,191
♪ Money money money money
money money money money ♪
354
00:14:09,292 --> 00:14:10,598
- Get a little!
- Get a little!
355
00:14:10,623 --> 00:14:11,903
Both: ♪ Money money money money ♪
356
00:14:11,928 --> 00:14:14,096
♪ A mark, a yen, a
buck, or a pound ♪
357
00:14:14,197 --> 00:14:16,532
♪ Clinking clanking clunking sound ♪
358
00:14:16,633 --> 00:14:18,834
♪ It's all that makes
the world go round ♪
359
00:14:18,935 --> 00:14:21,637
♪ Makes the world go round!
360
00:14:21,738 --> 00:14:24,006
(Both panting and laughing)
361
00:14:25,442 --> 00:14:27,576
- Stevie: Oh my God.
- Ahem.
362
00:14:27,677 --> 00:14:30,145
David, what are you doing here?
363
00:14:30,247 --> 00:14:32,648
I have questions.
364
00:14:32,749 --> 00:14:34,817
Mrs. Rose, this is Derek.
365
00:14:34,918 --> 00:14:37,271
He's been just helping us
366
00:14:37,296 --> 00:14:39,531
practice the steps to the number.
367
00:14:39,556 --> 00:14:41,924
And how long have you
all been moonlighting?
368
00:14:42,025 --> 00:14:43,826
Just... just about a week.
369
00:14:43,927 --> 00:14:45,828
It's a really fun piece.
370
00:14:45,929 --> 00:14:47,755
Yes, I'm aware, thank you.
371
00:14:49,633 --> 00:14:51,310
- I'm just gonna head outside.
- Stevie: Yeah. Yes.
372
00:14:51,334 --> 00:14:52,434
Thanks, Derek.
373
00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:55,013
So all this time I
thought... Poor David thought
374
00:14:55,038 --> 00:14:58,073
that you were home,
resting your instruments!
375
00:14:58,098 --> 00:15:00,685
- Ohh...
- I'm so disappointed.
376
00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:03,599
- Both: Sorry, David.
- It's okay.
377
00:15:05,315 --> 00:15:08,060
However, in the business of show,
378
00:15:08,652 --> 00:15:12,740
skullduggery, when it leads
to such thrilling results,
379
00:15:12,765 --> 00:15:15,967
a pinch of moral corruption
is a small price to pay.
380
00:15:15,992 --> 00:15:17,860
(Clapping)
381
00:15:17,885 --> 00:15:19,919
- Oh, is that good?
- Yeah, I think so.
382
00:15:20,096 --> 00:15:21,497
You choreographed this?
383
00:15:21,522 --> 00:15:24,755
I loosened the pickle jar.
Derek merely popped the lid.
384
00:15:25,268 --> 00:15:26,802
Very impressed.
385
00:15:26,827 --> 00:15:28,628
Was not embarrassed at all.
386
00:15:28,653 --> 00:15:30,120
And I thought I would be.
387
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:32,008
So sweet.
388
00:15:33,476 --> 00:15:35,377
(Car rumbles, shuts engine off)
389
00:15:44,220 --> 00:15:45,387
Babe!
390
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,265
I didn't like how we
left things this morning.
391
00:15:48,258 --> 00:15:50,125
Me neither.
392
00:15:50,226 --> 00:15:52,171
I'm the one that should be sorry.
393
00:15:53,023 --> 00:15:55,149
No, I should've been more direct,
394
00:15:55,174 --> 00:15:57,008
and we should've just
talked this through.
395
00:15:57,033 --> 00:15:58,953
And I actually did some
research on the Maldives,
396
00:15:59,034 --> 00:16:00,845
and there's this beautiful
resort that we could stay at,
397
00:16:00,870 --> 00:16:03,857
it just means we might have
to work there part-time,
398
00:16:03,882 --> 00:16:04,883
to cover the costs.
399
00:16:04,908 --> 00:16:07,576
But I feel like I
could teach windsurfing.
400
00:16:07,601 --> 00:16:09,636
Of course you've done
research on this trip.
401
00:16:10,679 --> 00:16:12,780
But you've done too much for me already.
402
00:16:12,984 --> 00:16:14,929
You do too much for me.
403
00:16:15,376 --> 00:16:19,179
And so I think it's time that
I give something back to you.
404
00:16:19,389 --> 00:16:20,823
My FitBit?
405
00:16:20,848 --> 00:16:22,288
No. I lost that.
406
00:16:22,935 --> 00:16:24,402
But the last thing I wanna do
407
00:16:24,427 --> 00:16:26,161
is stand between you and this job.
408
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:29,046
You've worked so hard,
and I'm proud of you.
409
00:16:29,809 --> 00:16:33,378
And so, yes, Ted Mullens,
410
00:16:33,403 --> 00:16:35,371
I will go to the
Cayman Islands with you.
411
00:16:35,548 --> 00:16:36,915
Uh, you mean the Galapagos?
412
00:16:36,940 --> 00:16:38,307
Yeah, wherever the turtles are.
413
00:16:38,332 --> 00:16:40,466
Are you sure, sure?
414
00:16:40,643 --> 00:16:42,344
No. But, yes.
415
00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:43,469
(Both laugh)
416
00:16:43,646 --> 00:16:45,124
Muah! Alexis, you continue to amaze me.
417
00:16:45,148 --> 00:16:46,482
I can't wait to do this with you.
418
00:16:46,583 --> 00:16:48,183
Oh! We're gonna need to shots.
419
00:16:48,284 --> 00:16:49,752
Yes! Let's celebrate!
420
00:16:49,853 --> 00:16:51,854
Uh, no, no, no, I meant
like, vaccinations.
421
00:16:52,031 --> 00:16:53,164
Mm...
422
00:16:53,189 --> 00:16:54,934
Yeah, just 'cause we'll
be spending a lot of time
423
00:16:54,958 --> 00:16:56,602
in tents, and there
could be disease-carrying
424
00:16:56,626 --> 00:16:58,546
- insects around, so.
- Okay. Okay.
425
00:16:58,571 --> 00:17:00,438
Um, this is still very fresh.
426
00:17:00,463 --> 00:17:02,584
I made this decision
like, two minutes ago,
427
00:17:02,609 --> 00:17:05,820
so why don't we focus more on the beach,
428
00:17:05,845 --> 00:17:08,646
and less on the details?
429
00:17:08,671 --> 00:17:10,105
Fair enough.
430
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,210
(Laughs)
431
00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:14,662
(Raucous laughter)
432
00:17:14,687 --> 00:17:16,521
When it comes to making decisions,
433
00:17:16,546 --> 00:17:18,766
Roland likes to go with his gut.
434
00:17:18,791 --> 00:17:21,426
And boy, does he have
a lot of gut to go with.
435
00:17:21,451 --> 00:17:23,118
- Ohhhh!
- (All laugh)
436
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:24,772
Yes, I do.
437
00:17:24,797 --> 00:17:27,565
And look at Bob, pretending to get it.
438
00:17:27,590 --> 00:17:30,413
And we all know Gwen, he
hasn't gotten it in years!
439
00:17:30,438 --> 00:17:32,895
All: Ohhh! (Laughter)
440
00:17:32,996 --> 00:17:36,517
Oh, that-Ronnie is just crushing it!
441
00:17:36,542 --> 00:17:39,344
I mean, you know,
everybody really has so far.
442
00:17:39,369 --> 00:17:41,670
Okay, okay, that's all I got for now.
443
00:17:41,771 --> 00:17:44,473
So I'm just gonna
hand it over to the one
444
00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:46,566
who wears the pants in the Rose family.
445
00:17:46,591 --> 00:17:48,896
But Moira is not here right now.
446
00:17:48,921 --> 00:17:50,188
(Audience laughs)
447
00:17:50,213 --> 00:17:52,381
So I'm gonna pass it over to Johnny.
448
00:17:52,406 --> 00:17:54,859
All right, Johnny! Go on!
449
00:17:54,884 --> 00:17:56,185
Head on up there!
450
00:17:56,286 --> 00:18:00,289
Let's see what you've got up
your starched sleeve of yours.
451
00:18:00,390 --> 00:18:02,268
I'll tell you what I've
got up my sleeve Roland,
452
00:18:02,292 --> 00:18:05,394
a few tasty little rippers that uh...
453
00:18:05,495 --> 00:18:07,715
are more palatable than anything
454
00:18:07,740 --> 00:18:10,575
Jocelyn's been serving up tonight, so.
455
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,469
Hey, is that a crack about my cooking?
456
00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:15,938
From the guy who's had four helpings?
457
00:18:15,963 --> 00:18:17,163
- (All laugh)
- Roland: Yeah!
458
00:18:17,188 --> 00:18:19,984
Oh, and Bob's joking about
me having four helpings,
459
00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:23,430
we all know if you've ever
taken your car to Bob's Garage,
460
00:18:23,455 --> 00:18:27,592
he's not necessarily known
"four helpings" anyone.
461
00:18:27,617 --> 00:18:28,984
(Chuckles)
462
00:18:29,009 --> 00:18:31,277
(Silence, dog barks outside)
463
00:18:31,454 --> 00:18:33,862
Well anyway, a couple
of little improvs there
464
00:18:33,887 --> 00:18:37,492
to get started, but uh, uh...
465
00:18:38,294 --> 00:18:41,296
- what was I saying?
- Nothing funny so far.
466
00:18:41,397 --> 00:18:43,165
(Roland laughs)
467
00:18:43,266 --> 00:18:45,319
Hey Johnny, come on,
I've got a white flag,
468
00:18:45,344 --> 00:18:48,062
- why don't you just start waving it?
- All: Ohhh!
469
00:18:48,110 --> 00:18:50,792
Yeah, Roland, may I
point out that I was quiet
470
00:18:50,817 --> 00:18:54,119
when everyone else was up
here doing their roasts.
471
00:18:54,144 --> 00:18:56,211
I wish you were quiet right now!
472
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:58,256
(All laugh)
473
00:18:58,281 --> 00:19:01,083
Well, things seem to
be going downhill fast.
474
00:19:01,184 --> 00:19:03,437
Which is what the town must've
been thinking when Roland
475
00:19:03,462 --> 00:19:05,630
elected himself Mayor.
476
00:19:05,655 --> 00:19:07,089
(Audience laughs)
477
00:19:07,114 --> 00:19:08,851
Okay, I'll give him that.
478
00:19:09,492 --> 00:19:11,493
Oh, got a smile out of Ronnie.
479
00:19:11,618 --> 00:19:13,373
The last time anyone saw her this happy
480
00:19:13,398 --> 00:19:17,041
was at a 3-for-1 sale on cargo pants!
481
00:19:17,066 --> 00:19:19,201
(Audience laughs)
482
00:19:19,302 --> 00:19:20,836
Where? Where?
483
00:19:20,937 --> 00:19:22,804
(Audience laughs)
484
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:25,497
All right, Johnny, starting
to make some moves, now.
485
00:19:25,522 --> 00:19:27,085
Cargo, I said car-go,
486
00:19:27,110 --> 00:19:29,378
which is what a car is supposed to do...
487
00:19:29,555 --> 00:19:31,756
unless you take it to Bob's Garage!
488
00:19:31,781 --> 00:19:33,482
(All laugh)
489
00:19:36,226 --> 00:19:38,297
Well listen, I don't want
to overstay my welcome,
490
00:19:38,321 --> 00:19:40,355
I'll keep things short and quick.
491
00:19:40,456 --> 00:19:44,511
Which reminds me of the last
time I was in Roland's bedroom,
492
00:19:44,536 --> 00:19:46,070
um... well,
493
00:19:46,095 --> 00:19:48,263
I-I wasn't in Roland's
bedroom, but the...
494
00:19:49,198 --> 00:19:51,943
- Ah! What was it, Ronnie?
- Just sit down, Johnny.
495
00:19:51,968 --> 00:19:54,968
Well anyway, the punchline
is, it was short and quick.
496
00:19:55,305 --> 00:19:56,738
(Forced laughter)
497
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:59,882
Anyway, I'm gonna quit
while I'm ahead, folks.
498
00:20:00,109 --> 00:20:01,343
(Audience laughs)
499
00:20:01,444 --> 00:20:03,212
I think it's a little
late for that, pal.
500
00:20:03,237 --> 00:20:05,171
- Ohhh!
- (Audience laughs)
501
00:20:06,249 --> 00:20:07,816
Good job, Johnny, all right.
502
00:20:07,917 --> 00:20:09,284
(Audience laughs)
503
00:20:13,523 --> 00:20:15,611
Johnny: No, I wish you guys
could've been there tonight.
504
00:20:15,636 --> 00:20:17,803
I was really ripping into them.
505
00:20:17,828 --> 00:20:19,528
Yes, I'm sure you killed them, dear,
506
00:20:19,629 --> 00:20:21,664
with all the venom of a silkworm.
507
00:20:21,765 --> 00:20:23,065
Oh, you know what, Moira?
508
00:20:23,166 --> 00:20:25,100
Jealousy doesn't look good on you.
509
00:20:25,202 --> 00:20:27,336
Much like that mirrored
jumpsuit you wore
510
00:20:27,437 --> 00:20:29,205
to Candy Spelling's 50th!
511
00:20:29,306 --> 00:20:31,640
- John!
- Oh my God, Dad!
512
00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:33,700
Why don't you take it easy, Alexis,
513
00:20:33,725 --> 00:20:35,854
like you did with your education?
514
00:20:35,879 --> 00:20:37,179
- (Laughs)
- Ugh!
515
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,233
- I mean, he's not wrong.
- Oh, look at David.
516
00:20:39,258 --> 00:20:40,859
Smart enough to get that joke,
517
00:20:40,884 --> 00:20:43,404
but not smart enough
to stop wearing sweaters
518
00:20:43,429 --> 00:20:44,863
in the middle of summer.
519
00:20:44,888 --> 00:20:46,522
Burn, David!
520
00:20:46,623 --> 00:20:48,524
Okay, here's why that joke didn't work.
521
00:20:48,625 --> 00:20:50,526
And look at you, John.
522
00:20:50,627 --> 00:20:52,561
A worthy competitor emerges.
523
00:20:52,662 --> 00:20:54,930
Something the good people
at Blockbuster never said
524
00:20:55,031 --> 00:20:57,418
about Rose Video. Ha! Ha!
525
00:20:57,443 --> 00:21:00,412
That was low, like David's standards.
526
00:21:00,437 --> 00:21:01,670
(Laughs)
527
00:21:01,695 --> 00:21:05,050
Or the placement of Alexis' back tattoo.
528
00:21:05,075 --> 00:21:06,909
Alexis has a back tattoo?
529
00:21:06,934 --> 00:21:09,421
Alexis, what have you done to yourself?!
530
00:21:09,446 --> 00:21:12,316
It says "that's hot" in Cantonese.
531
00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:15,382
- Got it in Hong Kong.
- Ugh!
532
00:21:16,887 --> 00:21:18,888
I was 12-years-old!
533
00:21:19,638 --> 00:21:24,638
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
40179
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
