All language subtitles for Puggsy 1973--

May I go out now, Miss Simpson?

Has it stopped snowing?

Not quite.

If it has stopped
when your sister returns,

perhaps she will take you out.

Oh, dear.

Here, kitty.

Suppose it never stops.

Suppose the man in charge
of the snow has
forgotten how to stop it.

Don't you think you
had better work a while
at your sampler?

No, thank you.

Oh, dear.

Hello, Sir Turtle.

You really must stop that,
Your Majesty.
Stop it, I say!

Stop what?

The White Queen
just knocked over
the White King.

She never does look
where she's going.

Alice, you know you are
not supposed to play with
your father's chessmen.

But I wasn't playing.

She deliberately bumped
into His Majesty and
knocked him off his feet.

Alice, are you sure
that that is true?

Well, I saw it.

Alice.

Yes, Miss Simpson.

At any rate, Your Majesty,

stop bumping into
your husband.
And you might tidy up a bit.

A white rabbit!

All dressed up in
a muffler and overcoat
and big woolly shoes.

There. It's gone into
its nice warm rabbit hole.

It looked so funny
all dressed up.

Alice, I am sure
you know that there is
no such thing as a rabbit

dressed up in a muffler
and an overcoat.

You must not say
what is not true.

Well, it...
It wasn't untrue exactly.

I think you had better
finish your tea.

There is another
egg for you to eat.

I did eat both eggs,
but I put one of them
all back together again.

Alice!

Yes, Miss Simpson.

The looking-glass room.

You see, Dinah,
as soon as I hold you up,

the little girl in
the looking-glass room

holds up another
cat just like you.

Oh, Dinah, wouldn't you
like to see

what the looking-glass
house is like?

You know, Dinah,
there is a
looking-glass house.

First,
there's the room you can
see through the glass.

That's just the same
as our sitting room,

only the things
go the other way.

You'd love living there.

But, of course, I don't know
whether looking-glass
milk is good to drink.

Well, anyway, then we would
come to the hallway.

It is very like
our own hallway
as far as you can see,

only it may be quite
different beyond that.

Oh, Dinah,

wouldn't it be nice
if we could get through to...

I can see all of
the looking-glass room
from here, all but a bit.

I would so like to see
that little bit just
behind the fireplace.

Do you think, Dinah,
that if I pressed
very, very hard

and tried to look
straight down,
that I might...

Why, why...

Well, I knew
this part of the room
would be different.

But I do wish the
looking-glass chair had
moved when I moved ours.

There seems no other way.

If I could only fall
like that all the time!

Can't be English.

Of course.
It's the looking-glass room.

Why, it's Uncle and Aunt!

I knew that if you could
really get behind a picture,

you'd see the backs of people.

Poor Uncle Gilbert.
His trousers are all patched.

My dear niece,
how would you like
being framed

in one pair of trousers
for 20 years
without being patched?

It must be very difficult.

It is.

But after all,
it's only the front of
a picture that counts, really.

Of course.

That is all.

8:00.

What did you say?

8:00.

But your hands say
20 minutes to 4:00.

I never let my left hand know
what my right hand is doing.

This side of
the looking glass
has me all confused.

That's because everything
is backward on your side.

Why, I...
I never...

Mama! Mama! Mama!

Mama! Mama!

What's that?

It's the voice of my child!

Your child!

Oh, my precious lily!
My imperial kitten!

I must be with my child.

Let me help you.

Mama! Mama!

Dear me.

There, there, my royal pawn.

Poor thing.

Watch out for the volcano.

It blew me up!
Be sure you come
up the regular way.

Don't get blown up.

You'll be hours
and hours getting to
the table at that rate.

I'd far better help you.

No, no!

The King's men!
Somebody call
out the King's men!

I assure you, my dear,
I shall never, never forget
the horror of this moment.

Well, you will forget,
unless you make
a memorandum of it.

I shall be very
happy to remind you.

We will not be
reminded by a volcano.

I'm not a volcano,
and I'm not a cyclone,
either.

Then you're either
a cyclano or a volcone.

And...

Well, what time was that?

I really haven't any idea,
but it's very late.

I must hurry or
I shall have to go back
through the looking glass

before I've seen
what the rest of
the house is like.

My, what a strange way
to walk about the garden.

The Duchess! The Duchess!
Won't she be savage if
I've kept her waiting!

Oh, dear! Oh, dear!
I shall be too late!

My ears and whiskers,
how late it is getting!

Well, after such a fall as this,

I shall think nothing
of tumbling downstairs.

I wish Dinah were here.
That's such pretty music.

Oh, dear.

Ouch.

Goodbye, dear feet.

Oh, will I ever get to
the beautiful garden?

Oh!

Oh, Mouse!

Do you know the way
out of this pool, oh, Mouse?

I'm very tired of
swimming about here.

Perhaps you don't
understand English.

I daresay you're a French mouse.

That's French for,
-Where is my cat?-

I beg your pardon.
I quite forgot you
didn't like cats.

Wait, oh, Mouse!

Oh, Mouse!

Not like cats?

Would you like cats
if you were me?

Don't be angry.
I wish I could show
you our cat Dinah.

You'd take quite a fancy to her.

She's such a dear,
quiet thing, and so good
at catching mice.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

I hate you!
I hate cats!

My whole family hates cats.
Nasty, low, vulgar things!

Oh, dear!

Wait, oh, Mouse!

Cats! Cats!

Cats!

William the Conqueror,
whose cause was
favored by the pope,

was soon submitted
to by the English,
who wanted leaders,

and had been of late
much accustomed to
usurpation and conquest.

Who are you, please?

I am a dodo.

How do you do?
My name is Alice.

And you are very wet.

I'm afraid I am,
but there isn't much
I can do about getting dry.

History is the driest
thing I know.

Shall we dry you with history?

I'd be much obliged
if you could.

Listen well.
Edwin and Morcar,

the earls of
Mercia and Northumbria,

found it advisable
to go with Edgar Aetheling

to meet William and
offer him the crown.

William's conduct at
first was moderate,

but the insolence
of his Normans...

How are you getting on, my dear?

Beautifully, thank you.

Shall I put you to sleep now?

No, thank you!

Then you'd best run along.

I'm about to recite some dates.

Yes, sir.
Thank you. Goodbye.

1585, Shakespeare was born,
1616, Shakespeare died...

Who are you?

I hardly know, sir,
just at present.

At least, I know who I was
when I got up this morning,

but I must have
changed several times
since then.

What do you mean by that?
Explain yourself.

I can't explain myself,
because I'm not myself,
you see.

I don't see!

I can't put it more clearly,

for I can't understand it
myself to begin with.

And being so many
different sizes in
one day is confusing.

It isn't.

Well, when some day
you turn into a chrysalis,

and after that into a butterfly,

you'll find it
a bit queer, won't you?

Not a bit!

Well, maybe you wouldn't,
but it would certainly
feel very queer to me.

You? Who are you?

I think you ought to tell me
who you are first.

Why?
Good day, sir.

Come back.
I have something
important to say.

Yes?

Keep your temper.

Is that all?

No.

So you think
you've changed,
do you?

I'm afraid I have, sir.

What size do you want to be?

I should like to be
a little larger, sir,
if you wouldn't mind.

Three inches is such
a horrid height to be.

I am three inches high!
It's a very
good height to be!

I'm sure it must be, sir,
but you see,
I'm not used to it.

You'll get used to it in time.

One side will
make you grow taller.

The other side will
make you grow shorter.

One side of...
Of what?

The mushroom.

Which side will
make me grow larger?

The large-making side,
of course.

I'll take a little
of both to make sure.

Oh, dear, now I'm too
big again, oh, Caterpillar.

Mr. Caterpillar,
sir, where are you?

Whoever lives here,
it would never do
to come upon them this size.

Why, I should frighten them
out of their wits.

For the Duchess.

An invitation from the Queen
to play croquet.

My compliments to the Queen.

My compliments to the Duchess.

There's no sort of
use in your knocking.

Please, sir, how am I to get in?

I shall sit here till tomorrow.

I'm sorry you were hit,
but how am I to get in?

I shall sit here
for days and days.

But what am I to do?

Anything you like.

Please watch out for the baby!

She nearly killed
the poor little thing.

If everybody minded
their own business,

the world would go round
much faster than it does.

- Speak roughly to
your little boy
And beat him when he sneezes

- He only does it to annoy
Because he knows it teases

- Wow! Wow! Wow!

- Wow!
- Wow!

- Wow!

- He only does it to annoy
Because he knows it teases -

Here, you can nurse
it a bit if you like.

Now, I must go and get
ready to play croquet
with the Queen.

Don't grunt. That's
not at all a proper way
of expressing yourself.

What am I going to
do with this creature
when I get it home?

If you're going to
turn into a pig, my dear,

I'll have nothing
more to do with you.
Mind now!

There's no mistake
about you now.
You're a pig!

You would have
grown up to be
a dreadfully ugly child,

but you do make
a handsome pig,
I think.

Why do you grin, oh, cat?

Because I'm
a Cheshire Cat,
that's why.

Well, then, Cheshire puss,

would you tell me, please,
which way I ought
to go from here?

That depends a good deal
on where you want to get to.

I don't care much where.

Then it doesn't matter
which way you go.

So long as I get somewhere.

You're sure to do that,
if you only walk long enough.

Do you play croquet
with the Queen today?

I should like it very much,
but I haven't
been invited yet.

You'll see me there.

Must you go so soon?

By the by, what became
of the baby?

I'd nearly forgotten to ask.

It turned into a pig.

I thought it would.

Did you say pig or fig?

I said pig

and I wish you wouldn't
keep appearing and
vanishing so suddenly.

You make one quite giddy.

All right.

Don't you wish
you could do this?

Well, I've often seen
a cat without a grin,
but a grin without a cat?

No room! No room!
No room! No room!

No room! No room!
No room! No room!

There's plenty of room!

Have some wine?

I don't see any wine.

There isn't any.

It wasn't very civil
of you to offer it.

Your hair needs cutting.

You should not make
personal remarks.
It's very rude.

Why is a raven
like a writing desk?

I believe I can answer that.

Do you mean you can
find the answer to it?

Exactly so.

You should say what you mean.

What day of the month is it?

Fourth.

Ah! Two days wrong.

I told you that butter
wouldn't suit the works.

Oh!

Some crumbs must
have got in it as well.

Hmm. I put it in
with a bread knife.

It was the best butter,
you know.

What a funny watch!
It tells the days
of the month,

but doesn't tell
what -o'clock- it is.

Have you guessed the riddle yet?

Why... Why, no. I give it up.
What is the answer?

I haven't the slightest idea!

Nor I!

I think you might
do something better
with time

than wasting it
asking a lot of riddles
that have no answers.

Don't you speak about Time.
I daresay you've
never even spoken to him.

Perhaps not.

Time and I quarreled last March,

just before he went
mad, you know.

It was at a great concert
given by the Queen of Hearts,

and I had to sing,
-Twinkle, twinkle, little bat
How I wonder what you're at-

You know the song, perhaps?

I've heard something like it.

It goes on, you know, like this.

- Twinkle, twinkle, little bat

How I wonder what you're at

- Up above the world you fly
Like a tea tray in the sky

- Up above the world you fly

- Like a tea tray in the sky

- Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle...

- Twinkle, twinkle, little bat

- How I wonder what you're at

- Up above the world you fly

- Like a tea tray in the sky

- Up above the world you fly

- Like a tea tray in the sky

- Twinkle, twinkle,
twinkle, twinkle

- Twinkle, twinkle,
twinkle, twinkle

- Twinkle, twinkle,
twinkle, twinkle

- Twinkle, twinkle,
twinkle, twinkle

- Twinkle, twinkle...

Well, I'd hardly
finished the first verse
when the Queen bawled,

-He's murdering the Time!
Off with his head!-

And ever since that,
he won't do a thing I ask.

It's always 6:00 now.

Is that why all
the tea things
are out here?

Yes, that's it.

It's always teatime,
and we have no time

to wash the tea
things in between.

Take some more tea.

I haven't had any yet,
so I can't take more.

You mean you can't take less.
It is very easy to
take more than nothing.

I want a clean cup.

It's the stupidest
tea party I ever was at
in all my life!

Very curious!

Would you please
tell me why are you
painting those roses?

I...

Well, as a matter of fact, Miss,

this tree should have
been a red rose tree

and we put in
a white one by mistake,

and if the Queen
should find out,

we'll all have
our heads cut off.

So, you see, Miss,
we're doing our best

before she comes
back to paint...

The Queen!
The Queen!

The Queen!

Come, come, get up!

Her Majesty,
the Queen of Hearts.

Her Majesty, the Queen!

Off with his head!
Off with his head!

What is your name, child?

My name is Alice,
so please Your Majesty.

Off with her head!
Off with her head!

Nonsense!

Off with her head!
Off with her head!

Consider, my dear.
She's only a child.

Off with her head!
Off with her head!

And besides, this is
the executioners' day off.

It is, is it?
Well, they shall lose
their heads for this!

Can you play croquet?

Yes.

Then let the game begin at once.

Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
Must I behead you all?

Here, take it. Play.
Off with some heads.

You're pointing
the wrong way for a mallet!

Pardon me.
My back hurts.

Well!

Don't look at me.
I'm as mixed up as you are!

This game's slowing up.
Off with some heads!

Where are my victims?
Search the hedges.

Thrash the bushes.
Shake the trees!

How glad I am
to see you again,
you dear old thing.

How did you like your game?

Well, it was very exciting.

Of course it is.
And the moral of that is,

-Be what you would like to be.-

Or, to put it more simply,
-Never imagine yourself
not to be otherwise

-than what it might appear
to others that what you
were or might have been

-wasn't otherwise
than what you had been

-would have appeared
to them to be otherwise.-

I should understand
that better if it
were written down.

I can't quite follow it
as you say it.

That's nothing to
what I could say,
if I chose.

And the moral of that is...

It's a fine day, Your Majesty.

I give you fair warning.
Either you or your head
must be off at once!

Please, Your Majesty,
could you make it go away?

Queen! Queen!
Where are you, Queen?

What fun!

What is the fun?

The Queen.

They never really execute
anybody she condemns,
you know.

The King...

The King pardons everybody.

I'm very happy to
know that, I'm sure.

Have you seen
the Mock Turtle yet?

Why... Why, no.
I don't even know
what a Mock Turtle is.

It's what mock turtle
soup's made from.

Come here, will you,
Mock Turtle, old thing?

What is his sorrow?

It's all his fancy.
He hasn't got no sorrow.

No sorrow, indeed.

Mine are the sorrows
of a sorrowful sorrow.

Mine are the woes
of a woeful woe.

Mine are the...
This here young lady,

she wants for to know
your history, she do.

I'll tell it her.

Sit down, both of you,
and don't speak a word
till I've finished.

Once I was a real turtle.

Oh, dear!

Oh, dear!

When we were little,
we went to school in the sea.

The master was an old turtle.
We used to call him Tortoise.

Why did you
call him Tortoise
if he wasn't one?

We called him Tortoise
because he taught us.

You ought to be ashamed
of yourself for asking
such a simple question.

We went to school in the sea,
though you mayn't believe it.

I never said
I didn't.
You did.

Hold your tongue!

We had the best of educations.

In fact, we went to
school every day.

I've been to a day school, too.

We learned French and music.

I only took the regular course.

What was that?

Reeling and writhing
to begin with.

And then the different
branches of arithmetic,

ambition, distraction,
uglification and derision.

And how many hours a day
did you do lessons?

Ten hours the first day
and nine the next and so on.

That's why
they're called lessons,

because they lessen
from day to day.

Then the 11th day
must have been a holiday.

Of course.

And how did you
manage on the 12th day?

Well, that's enough
about lessons.

Shall we play games,
or shall the Mock Turtle sing?

Oh, a song, please,
if the Mock Turtle
would be so kind.

No accounting for tastes.

Sing her Turtle Soup,
will you, old fellow?

In a moment.

- Beautiful soup
Who cares for fish

- Game, or any other dish?

- Who would not give
all else for two

- Pennyworth only
of beautiful soup?

- Pennyworth only
of beautiful soup

- Beautiful soup, beautiful soup

- Soup of the evening

- Beautiful soup, beautiful... -

Faster! Faster!

Faster! Faster!
Faster! Much faster!

Are we nearly there?

Nearly there?

Why, we passed it
10 minutes ago. Faster!

It's all marked out
like a chessboard.

Of course it's a chessboard,

and life is a chessboard,
and you are a Queen's pawn.

You will go immediately
to the fourth square,

which you should reach
in exactly no time.

Did you remark something?

I didn't know I had
to make one just then.

You should have
told me how kind it is
of me to tell you all this.

No questions?
Very well, then,
no answers.

Open your mouth
wide when you speak,
and always speak in French

if you can't
think of the English
for something.

Turn out your toes as you walk

and always say
-Your Majesty,-
and so forth.

If you think we're waxworks,
you ought to pay, you know.

Waxworks weren't
made to be looked at
for nothing, nohow.

Contrary-wise,
if you think we're alive,
you ought to speak.

I'm sure I'm very sorry.

I was wondering
which is the best way
out of this wood.

Would you tell me, please?

You've begun wrong.

The first thing in
a visit is to say,

-How do you do?-
And shake hands.

I hope you're not much tired.

Why, nohow, but thank you
very much for asking.

So much obliged.
You like poetry?

Yes, pretty well.
Some poetry.

But would you tell me first
which road leads
out of the woods?

What shall I repeat to her?

The Walrus and
the Carpenter
is the longest.

-The sun was
shining on the sea
Shining with all his might

-He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright

-And this was odd
because it was
The middle of the night

-The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand

-They wept like
anything to see
Such quantities of sand

"'If this were only
cleared away' They said,
'it would be grand'

'If seven maids
with seven mops
Swept it for half a year

'Do you suppose,'
the Walrus said

'That they could
get it clear?'

-'I doubt it,'
said the Carpenter
And shed a bitter tear-

-'Oh, oyster,
come and walk with us,'
The Walrus did beseech

-'A pleasant walk,
a pleasant talk
Along the briny beach'

-They could not do
with more than four
To give a hand to each

-The eldest oyster
looked at him
But never a word he said

-The eldest oyster
winked his eye
And shook his heavy head

-Meaning to say
he did not choose
To leave the oyster bed

-But younger oysters
hurried up
All eager for the treat

-Their coats were brushed
Their faces washed

-Their shoes were clean and neat

-And this was odd
because, you know
They hadn't any feet

-'The time has come,'
the Walrus said
'To talk of many things

-'Of shoes and ships
and sealing wax
Of cabbages and kings-

-'And why the sea
is boiling hot
And whether pigs have wings'-

-'A loaf of bread,'
the Walrus said
'Is what we chiefly need

-'Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed

-'Now, if you're ready,
oysters dear
We can begin to feed'

-'But not on us,'
the oysters cried
Turning a little blue

-'After such kindness
that would be
A dismal thing to do!'

-'The night is fine,'
the Walrus said
'Do you admire the view?'

-'I weep for you,'
the Walrus said
'I deeply sympathize'

-With sobs and tears
he sorted out
Those of the largest size

-Holding his
pocket handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes

'Oh, oyster,'
said the Carpenter
'You've had a pleasant run

-'Shall we be
trotting home again?'
But answer came there none

-And this was
scarcely odd because
They'd eaten every one-

Well, they were both
very unpleasant characters.

But at any rate,
I'd better be
leaving the wood

because it's really
getting very dark.
Well, goodbye.

Look!
Do you see that?

It's only a rattle.

Only an old rattle,
quite old and broken.

I knew it was.
It's spoiled, of course.

My nice new rattle.

Of course, you agree
to have a battle?

I suppose so.

Only she must
help us to dress up,
you know.

Of course!

-Tweedledee and Tweedledum
Agreed to have a battle

-For Tweedledee said Tweedledum

-Had spoiled his nice new rattle

-Just then down
flew a monstrous crow
As black as a tar barrel

"Which frightened
both the heroes so

-They quite
forgot their quarrel-

I hope you're good
at pinning and
tying string.

All this has got to
go on somehow or other.

This is to keep my head
from being cut off.

You know, one of the most
serious things that can
happen to one in a battle

is to get one's head cut off.

Do I look very pale?

Well, yes, a little.

I'm very brave generally,

only today I happen
to have a headache.

Well, I've got a toothache.
I'm far worse than you.

Then you'd both
better not fight today.

We must have a bit of a fight.

Let's fight till 6:00
and then have dinner.

There's only one sword,
but you can have the umbrella.
It's sharper.

Only we must begin quick.
It's getting very, very dark.

And darker and darker.

What a thick
black cloud that is,
and how fast it comes!

Why, I do believe
it's got wings.

It's the crow!
The crow!

May I put your
shawl straight for you?

I don't know what's
the matter with it.

It's out of temper, I think.

I've pinned it here
and I've pinned it there,
but there's no pleasing it.

It can't go on
straight, you know,

if you put all
the pins on one side.

And dear me,
what a state
your hair is in!

Oh, the brush has got
entangled in it.

And I lost the comb yesterday.

There, now you look better.

My finger's bleeding.

What's the matter?
Have you pricked your finger?

I haven't pricked it yet,
but I soon shall.

When do you expect to do it?

When I fasten my shawl again,
the broach will come undone.

Watch out,
you're holding it
all wrong.

Now you understand
the way things happen here.

But why don't you scream now?

Why, I've done all
the screaming already.

Now, what would be the good
of doing it all over again?

I suppose so.

Well, it's a bit lighter now.
I'm glad that crow is gone.

I hope your finger's better now.

Much better.
Better, better,

better.

What is it you want to buy?

I should like to
buy an egg, please.

I never put things
into people's hands.

That would never do.

You must get it for yourself.

What a strange egg!

It keeps growing much
faster than it should!
Curiouser and curiouser!

It's bigger than a chicken!

Why, it's...
It's Humpty-Dumpty!

Don't stand there
staring at me
as if I were an egg.

Tell me your name
and your business.

My name is Alice.

It's a stupid enough name.
What does it mean?

Must a name mean something?

Of course it must.
My name means the shape I am,

and a right handsome
shape it is.

With your name,
you might be any shape.

Why do you sit
out here all alone?

Because there's nobody with me.

Did you think
I couldn't answer that?

Ask another.

Don't you think
you'd be safer
on the ground?

That wall is so very narrow.

Of course I don't think so.
Why, if I ever did fall off,

which there's no
chance of, but if I did...

If I did fall,
the King has promised me...

To send all his horses
and all his men.

Ah, so, you know.
All his horses
and all his men.

They'd pick me up
again in a minute,
they would.

However, this conversation
is going on a little too fast.

Let's go back to
the last remark but one.

I'm afraid I can't
quite remember it.

In that case, we start afresh,

and it's my turn
to choose a subject.

How old did you say you were?

Twelve years and four months.

Wrong. You never
said a word like it.

I thought you meant,
"How old are you?"

If I'd meant that,
I'd have said that.

Twelve years and four months.
An uncomfortable sort of age.

Now, my advice would have
been to leave off at 12,
but it's too late now.

What a beautiful belt!

Or is it a beautiful collar?

It is a most provoking thing
when a person doesn't know
a collar from a belt.

I know it's very ignorant of me.

It's a collar, child,
and a beautiful one,
as you say.

It's a present from
the White King and Queen.

Is it really?

They gave it to me
for an un-birthday present.

I beg your pardon?

I am not offended,
and it isn't
respectable to beg.

I mean, what is
an un-birthday present?

A present given when
it isn't your birthday,
of course.

I like birthday presents best.

You don't know what
you're talking about.

How many days are
there in a year?

Three hundred and sixty-five.

And how many birthdays have you?

One.

And if you take that
from 365, what remains?

Three hundred and
sixty-four, of course.

Well then, there are 364 days
when you might get
un-birthday presents.

Certainly.

And only one for
birthday presents.

That's glory for you!

I don't know what
you mean by glory.

Of course you don't,
till I tell you.

I meant there's a nice
knock-down argument for you.

But glory doesn't mean that.

When I use a word,
it means what
I choose it to mean,

neither more or less.

The question is whether
you can make words
mean different things.

The question is,
which is to be the master,
you or the word? That's all.

However, I can manage
the whole lot.

Impenetrability,
that's what I say.

Would you tell me,
please, what that means?

I meant by impenetrability
that we've had
enough of the subject,

and it would be just as well

if you would mention what
you mean to do next,

as I suppose you
don't mean to stop here
all the rest of your life.

Fancy it meaning all that.

You seem very clever at
explaining words, sir.

Would you kindly tell me
the meaning of a poem
called Jabberwocky?

I read it a long time ago.

I can, but I won't.
That's all. Goodbye.

Goodbye, till we meet again.

I shouldn't know you
if we did meet.

You're so exactly
like other people.

The face is what
one generally goes by.

That's just it.
Your face is the same
as everybody's.

The two eyes, so.

Nose in the middle, mouth under.

Now, if your two eyes
were on the same side
of your nose,

or your mouth on the top,
that would be some help.

It wouldn't look nice.

Wait till you've tried.

Watch out!

Help! Help! I'm falling!
Tell the King!

Tell him to bring
his horses and his men!

Help!

What happened?

We ran into each other,
Your Majesty.

Good. I rather fancied
something like
that had happened.

Oh, Your Majesty,
Humpty-Dumpty
fell off the wall!

I know, I know.

Four-thousand, two-hundred
and seven of my soldiers are
on the way.

Two without horses.

If all this King's
horses and men

can't put him back
together again,
nobody can.

I'm glad Humpty
will be all right.
I was worried.

Well, don't be.

Look along the road and tell me

if you can see either of
my three messengers.

I see nobody on the road.

Oh, I only wish I had such eyes!

To be able to see nobody,
and at that distance!

Oh!

It's too, too bad!

Can I help you, sir?

On or off?

You are on.

In a short time
I shall be off again.

I'm so sorry.
Are you the
King's messenger?

I am the White Knight.

I see you're admiring
my little box.

It's my own invention,
to keep clothes
and sandwiches in.

You see,
I carry it upside down
so the rain can't come in.

But the things can get out.
Do you know the lid is open?

Then if all the things
have fallen out,

the box is no use without them.

Can you guess why I did that?

I can't imagine.

In hopes some bees
may make a nest in it.
Then I should get the honey.

But you've got a beehive,
or something like one,
fastened to the saddle.

It's a very good beehive, too.
One of the best kind,

but not a single bee
has come near it yet.

That other thing's a mousetrap.

I suppose the mice
keep the bees out

or the bees
keep the mice out.
I don't know which.

It isn't very likely
there would be any mice
on a horse's back.

Not very likely, perhaps,

but I don't choose
to have them
running all about.

You see, I'm well
provided for everything.

That's the reason
the horse has those
anklets around his feet.

What are they for?

To guard against
the bites of sharks.
It's my own invention.

But let's go on.
I'll go with you to
the edge of the wood.

I hope you've got your
hair well-fastened on.

Only the usual way.

That's hardly enough.
You see, the wind is
so strong here.

It's strong as soup.

Have you invented
a plan for keeping

the hair from being blown off?

Not yet,

but I have a plan
for keeping the hair
from falling off.

I should like to
hear it very much.

First, you take
an upright stick,

then you make
your hair creep up it
like a vine.

Now, the reason
hair falls off is
because it hangs down.

Things never fall
upward, you know.
It's my own invention.

You may try it if you like.

I'm a great hand
at inventing things.

Now, I daresay you noticed
the last time
you picked me up,

I was looking rather thoughtful.

You were a little grave.

Well, just then I was
inventing a new way
of getting over a gate.

Would you like to hear it?

Very much, indeed.

Well, I'll tell you how
I came to think of it.
I said to myself,

-The only difficulty
is with the feet.

-The head's high
enough already.-

Now, first I put my
head on top of the gate,
then my head's high enough,

then I stand on my head,
then my feet are high enough.

Then I'm over.

Sir Knight!

If there were only
a gate down here,

I'd be in excellent
position to cross it.

How can you go on
talking so quietly
with your head in a ditch?

What does it matter
where my body happens to be?

My mind goes on
working all the same.

In fact,
I once invented a new pudding
during the meat course.

In time to have it cooked
for the next course? Hmm.

That was quick work.

Well, not the next course.

In fact, I don't believe
that pudding ever was cooked.

What did you mean
it to be made of?

Well, it began
with blotting paper.

That wouldn't be
very nice, I'm afraid.

Not very nice alone,
but imagine how
good it would be

mixed with other things,
such as gunpowder
and sealing wax.

And here I must leave you.
This is the end of the wood.

You've only a few yards to go.

Down the hill,
across that little brook,
and then you'll be a queen.

At last!

But you'll stay
and see me off first?

I shan't be long.
You'll wait?

Of course I'll wait.

I think it'll encourage me.

Thank you very much
for coming so far
out of your way.

For that, I shall
expect you to cry
a good deal as I go.

The poor, dear Knight.
He's the nicest person yet.

Well, here I am.

What's this?

A crown! A golden crown!

I'm a queen!
I'm a queen!

How dare you say
that you're a queen.

What right have you
to call yourself so?

You can't be a queen, you know,

till you've passed
the proper examination,

and the sooner we
begin it, the better.
Be seated.

Yes, Your Majesty.

I'm ready, Your Majesties.

Can you do addition?

Now what's one and one
and one and one and one
and one, one and one?

I don't know.
I lost count.

She can't do addition.

Can you answer any
useful questions?
How is bread made?

I know that.
You take some flour...

Where do you pick the flower,
in a garden or in the hedges?

It isn't picked at all,
it's ground.

But how many acres of ground?

I wish you
wouldn't leave out
so many things!

Oh, dear.

You know any languages?

What's the French
for -fiddle-de-dee-?

Fiddle-de-dee's not English.

Whoever said it was?

Well, if you'll tell me
what language
fiddle-de-dee is,

I'll tell you the French for it.

Queens never make bargains!

I'm so sleepy.

She's tired, poor thing.

So, smooth her hair,

lend her your nightcap
and sing her
a soothing lullaby.

I haven't any nightcap,
and I don't know any
soothing lullabies.

I'll have to do it myself.

- Hush-a-bye lady in Alice's lap

- When the feast's ready
we've time for a nap

- When the feast's over
we'll go to the ball

- Red Queen and White Queen
and Alice and all -

Now that you know the words,
sing it through to me.
I'm sleepy, too.

Now what am I to do?
Do wake up.

- To the looking-glass world

- It was Alice that said

-I've a scepter in hand

-I've a crown on my head-

No admittance
until week after next.

Why... Why, how dare you!

- Fill up the glasses
as quick as you can

- And sprinkle the table
With buttons and bran

- Put cats in the coffee
and mice in the tea

- And welcome Queen Alice
with 30 times three

- Put cats in the coffee
and mice in the tea

- And welcome Queen Alice
With 30 times three -

- Then put in the glasses,
molasses and ink

- And anything else
that is pleasant to drink

- Mix sand with the cider
And wool with the wine

- And welcome Queen Alice
With 90 times nine

- Mix sand with the cider
And wool with the wine

- And welcome Queen Alice

- With 90 times 90 times
90 times nine -

You've missed
the soup and fish!
Serve the roast!

You seem a little shy.
Let me introduce you
to that leg of mutton.

Alice, Leg of Mutton.
Leg of Mutton, Alice.

How do you do?

May I give you a slice?

Certainly not!

It isn't etiquette
to cut somebody
you've been introduced to.

Remove the roast!

- Will you, won't you, will you,

Please don't introduce
the Pudding,

or we shall get
no dinner at all.

May I give you some?

Pudding, Alice.
Alice, Pudding.

What impertinence!

How would you like it if
I were to cut a slice out
of you, you creature?

Make a remark.

It's ridiculous to leave
all the conversation
to the Pudding.

Well...

You'd better prepare.

We're about to
drink to your health.
Queen Alice's health!

Queen Alice's health!

Queen Alice!

Queen Alice!

Queen Alice!

Queen Alice!

Queen Alice!

She ought to
make a speech.
A speech!

So she ought!
A speech! A speech!

A speech!
A speech!

Speech!
Speech!

I rise to return thanks.

Take care!
Something's going to happen!
Something's going to happen!

Here I am!

There was a
looking-glass room,
and you were the Red Queen.

There was a whole
looking-glass country.

-Almost finished?
-Just about.

Don't forget the love seat.

-Got it.
-lt's a long drive to our new house.

Tom? Thomas?

Hurry up, Tom. We're leaving.

Beat it! No cats allowed!

Well, well, well.
Look at the big, brave pussycat.

Yeah, picking on a
teensy-weensy mousie.

He'll feel guilty for this
for the rest of his days.

First time out in the cold, right?

And you're fighting
like a cat and a mouse.

-They are a cat and a mouse.
-True...

...but they got to be pals
or they won't make it. True too?

All too true too.

Frankie da Flea is the name.
l'm of French extraction.

That just means before he met me
he lived on a poodle.

l've been on the streets two years.
My owners moved and left me behind.

The name is Puggsy. What's yours?

-l'm Tom.
-l'm Jerry.

-You talked!
-You talked!

-So what? What am l, a dummy?
-You said it, l didn't.

Hey, you little pip-squeak.
l ought to-- Hey!

How come you never spoke?

There was nothing to say
that you'd understand.

-And there still isn't!
-All right, that does it, you little--

Boy, you get me angry.

l told you before. You guys have
got to learn to be friends.

Abso-tiva-lutely. Puggsy and me's
been through thick and thin.

And thin and thinner.

You gotta fight to survive.
lt's a dog-eat-dog world.

That is not my favorite expression.

Sorry. Puggsy's right, fellas.
Listen.

We two, we're friends to the end

Ain't we, my friend

We kind ofblend together

Coffee and cream
Boy, what a team

You'll never fiind two other guys
Compatible as steak and fries

We 're two ofa kind
Much ofa mind

We fiind our way together

Thinking as one

Searching for sunny skies

-True the sun may turn to rain
-We don't mind a drop ofrain

-You won't hear us complain
-Doesn't help to stop the rain

-What's to gain if we complain
-Causes lots ofstress and strain

We keep smiling in the pitter-patter
Doesn't matter

Why let it drive us insane

We know the weather will mend
Won't it, my friend

We 'll weather life together

So what the heck
Here's what we recommend

-The greatest gift in life 's a friend
-Take it, Frankie!

Pays a daily dividend

Be like us and start a trend
Be friends to the end

Come on, one more time!

The greatest gift in life 's a friend

Take it, Puggs!

Pays a daily dividend

Be like us and start a trend

Be friends to the end

Come on, guys. You two try it.

-You can do it. Be friends.
-Okay, here we go.

We two, we're friends to the end

Ain't we, my friend

We kind ofblend together

Coffee and cream
Boy, what a team

You'll never fiind two other guys
Compatible as steak and fries

We 're two ofa kind
Much ofa mind

We fiind our way together

Thinking as one
Searching for sunny skies

-The sun may turn to rain
-We don't mind a drop ofrain

-But you won't hear us complain
-Doesn't help to stop the rain

-What's to gain if we complain
-Causes lots ofstress and strain

We keep smiling in the pitter-patter
Doesn't matter

Why let it drive us insane

We know the weather will mend
Won't it, my friend

We 'll weather life together

So, what the heck

Here's what we recommend

The greatest gift in life 's a friend

Pays a daily dividend

Be like us and start a trend
Be friends to the end

-Again, again!
-Take it home!

The greatest gift in life 's a friend

Pays a daily dividend

Be like us and start a trend
We 're friends to the end

Hey, you guys are the greatest.
l love it!

You are terrific.

Well, what do you say, fellas?

A cat and a mouse? Friends?

That's disgusting. No way!

-That goes double for me.
-Well, we warned you. True, Frankie?

True too!

Hey, maybe what you need
is a bite to eat.

Follow me. Tonight we dine al fresco.

-Oh, boy! We eat!
-Not you, mouse.

Let me out of here, you stupid
fraidy cat! Let me out of here!

l'm gonna turn you into dog chow
when l get out of here!

Come back here, chicken.

Hey, look. Chunky tuna!

Come on, Puggsy, speed it up.
l'm starving.

-Hey, Puggsy.
-Yo, pull up a tray. lt's chow time.

A trash-can smorgasbord.

Delicious.

Come on, you fraidy cat.

What's the matter?
You hide me in a flowerpot?

Come on. Fight fair!

Frankie-boy, we just hit the jackpot.

Hey! Hey! You're gonna get it!

Hey, Puggsy? Frankie?
Puggsy?

The straycatchers strike again.

Yeah, one more for the doc.

Where did he go?
Oh, well, more for me.

Chunky tuna.

This is our turf, tootsie.

ln this mean alley, cats ain't
pretty, pussy, pally cats!

And this is our domain!

l hope l made that plain!
You're dead if you're not out of here.

l wanna make that very clear.

This is how we are,
and this is how we stay.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay!

What do we care about nice?

What do we care about sweet?

-All that we care about's vice
-And deceit

-Eating mice
-Cheating at dice

-Which is neat

We got no time for taste

Who's got the time to waste?

We got a better plan

To be as mean as we can

What do we care about grace?

What do we care about shy?

How about a pie in the face?

-Or a punch in the lunch?
-Or the eye?

We hate your ugly mug
This putridplace

The lousy, stinking human race

What we love most
Is just disgusting and gross

We don't care for sweet serenity

We prefer obscenity

Lowlife language fiilling the air

So there

What do we care for polite?

What do we care for genteel?

-How about a fight?
-That's for real

-Really corrupt, don't interrupt
-Deal

We wanna fiill the world
With truly crude things

Loathsome, lewd things

Really rude things
Can't you tell?

We hate each other as well

We shout our dirty words
In dirty voices

We like dirt bikes, not Rolls-Royces

Stick it there

What the heck do we care?

What do we care?

What do we care?

-Way to go!
-Get off our turf!

Go get him, you dumbbell!

-Come on!
-Don't let him get away!

-You okay, pal?
-Yeah, l'm okay.

But don't call me ''pal.''

Come on, mouse.

Whoa! Hold it! Hold it!

-Who are you?
-Nobody.

Just us. He's Tom, and l'm Jerry.

l thought you were somebody else
following me.

-Heck, no.
-What are you doing out here?

-We're lost.
-Yeah, and we're hungry.

Well, l've got cookies
and an apple and....

-Your name's Robyn and you ran away.
-How did you know?

lt's on your locket.

Oh, yes. lt's Robyn Starling.
l don't have a home anymore.

l'm an orphan.

-My mother died when l was a baby.
-What about your father?

He was climbing a mountain
when the snow gave way in a ava....

Avalanche?

He was the best father in the world.

We had a secret place,
just for the two of us and....

That's where you were going?

Yes, and to get away
from my Aunt Figg.

She's not my aunt, just my guardian.
She's taken over the house.

She moved me into the attic and
gave my room to her dog, Ferdinand.

Ferdinand?

She was always calling me ''orphan.''

She threw my locket out the window...

...but l climbed out
and found it and....

lKept on running.

As fast as l could.
l'm never going back.

Real smart, kid. You've got a roof
over your head, three meals a day.

Who'd want to leave that?

Tom's right. You never know what
you're missing until it's gone.

You don't know her. She seems sweet...

...but underneath she's mean.
Real mean.

Come on. l'll bet
she's frantic looking for you.

Sure. She's crying her eyes out
for you right this minute.

Oh, my poor little Robyn.
Oh, find her, officer. Please.

The poor child.

There, there. We'll find
the little girl. l promise.

-l'll call for a status report now.
-Oh, please. Please.

l don't know how to live without her.

You won't be able to live without her,
Pristine.

-Shut up, Lickboot, you hoodoo.
-But it's true.

Without Robyn, Daddy Starling's
trust fund money will go bye...

-...and you'll be out in the cold.
-And you with me, Lickboot.

Now stop talking.
You're a lawyer. Scheme.

You find this amusing, Ferdy,
you fat freeloader?

-You're the one who let her get away!
-l was eating.

l know you were eating.
You're always eating.

You want this cupcake?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fetch!

-Shoot.
-Pray the police find her...

...or we're doomed to return
to the ranks of the peasantry.

Let's hope this rumor that Daddy
Starling survived the avalanche...

...is just a rumor.
Or we'll be worse than ordinary.

-We'll be...
-Don't say it!

-...poor.
-Penniless.

Bankrupt. No more money?

We've got to have money.

-Money is such a beautiful word
-I know, I know

It soars in my mind
Like a beautiful bird

I know, I know

Better than that, it makes me feel like
An aristocrat that's where it's at

Money is such a beautiful word

Quite so, quite so, quite so

-Money is such a wonderful thing
-Ah, yes, ah, yes

-I fiind that I use it for everything
-No less, no less

Money is power
If it were food it's a dish I'd devour

Every hour
Money is such...

-...a beautiful word
-Oh, yes, oh, yes

-Oh, yes
-Money's my passion

Always in fashion

Stashing cash
Creaming the cream

-It's my dream
-Money's a glorious thing

When I see lots ofit
I want to stand up and sing

Money's my favorite
That's why I crave it

Being...

...a rich, wicked, old witch
Why should I switch?

Money's the love ofmy life
The only true love ofmy life

-Money for me is all that there is
-It is, it is

I spend it well
I'm the best in the biz

A whiz, a whiz

Money and I
We are as happy as apple andpie

Haven't you heard
Money is such a beautiful word

Money, they say is as evil as Satan
Andprobably worse

-It is
-A dreadful and wonderful curse

-It is
-Pleasure to have in my purse

-It is, it is
-Money is the...

...most beautiful...

... word

l can't go back. l won't.

Got you, you little...

-...darling.
-See? Here she is. Safe and sound.

We found her down by the old bridge.

-Tom! Jerry!
-Who?

They're my new friends.
Let me keep them.

They won't be any bother. Please?

-Oh, brother.
-Please?

Under the circumstances, it might be a
good idea, if you know what l mean.

That's just what l was thinking,
officer.

-Of course you can keep them.
-l can?

-See? She's not as bad as you thought.
-You'll stay, won't you?

Will l? You bet.

-Him too?
-Of course. Him too.

Thanks, Robyn.

Would you be able to join us
for a little celebration snack?

-Sure, l--
-l didn't think so.

Too bad duty calls and all that.

Mucho thanks and au revoir!

Take our guests to the kitchen
for something special to eat.

Special?

As for you, orphan,
you're going to bed without dinner.

And your bed is back in the attic
where orphans belong.

Now that's what l call eats.

What's all the commotion in here?

Well, your pets
are certainly housebroken.

Five minutes and already
they've broken the house.

We don't have enough room
for them here, do we?

l'm sure they won't do it again,
Aunt Figg. l promise.

No, they won't. l promise.

There's a sweet man down
the street, Dr. Applecheek.

He absolutely adores animals,
he has a houseful. All kinds.

And he loves them to death.

l'm sure l can talk him
into taking them in.

They'll have all the food they want,
companionship, shelter.

And you can go
and visit them every day.

Well, l don't know.

l'll talk it over with them first.

You do that.

Well, your daddy's lawyer--
Your late daddy's lawyer...

...Mr. Lickboot, is waiting for me.

-Well?
-She says it's a house...

-...and l'm a house cat kind of guy.
-Jerry?

-Where's Jerry?
-Maybe, Ferdy ate him.

Don't look at me.
What am l, my mouse's keeper?

Okay, okay. l'll go look for him.

Alive?

-He's alive?
-The telegram just came.

Starling's lying in some native shack
on a mountainside in Tibet...

...maybe every bone in his body
is broken...

-...if we're lucky.
-But he's alive!

On the bright side,
there may be another avalanche.

And he may be eaten by the
abominable snow thing too. Who cares?

Well, his daughter Robyn, for one...

...and our creditors, for another.

The point is,
Daddy Starling is still...

...alive.

Robyn must never know.

l'll make sure she never knows.
l'll lock her in her room.

Now that's a good idea.

Hold it. What's the big rush?

Read this. Robyn's father is alive!

''Daddy....''

''Tibet?''

Hey, she's not an orphan no more!

Good night. Sleep tight

And don't let the spiders, monsters,
and scary things bite.

How nice.

You fetched my telegram.
You're both so helpful.

l'll make sure Dr. Applecheek
takes special care of you.

Run!

Oh, no you don't.

Got the mousie.

Well, here it is. Your new home.

Dr. J. Sweetface Applecheek,
at your service, dear lady.

Pristine Figg, doctor.
Miss Pristine Figg.

Naturally.

These are the two sweet strays my
darling little ward brought home.

You don't have room for them, so you
brought them to my pet sanctuary.

-Exactly.
-My loving home...

...is a shelter for all our lost
and abandoned animal friends.

You're gonna love it here.

-Do we have a choice?
-Yeah. This or the river.

They'll be in good hands.

God's little creatures

With sweet and furry features

Four-legged friends, I would go
To the ends of the earth to protect

My best friends are animals
Their best friend is me

And itpains me to see

Any signs ofneglect

God's little creatures

They have so much to teach us

Men like myself

Put their lives on the shelf
To be kind to our pets

My whole life is animals
From morning till night

Ipity their plight
But I have no regrets

Here, boys, take good care of them.

Yes, animals are business

A moneymaking business
I kidnap, buy and sell them

Call their owners and tell them
I make outrageous oodles

From pekes, pols, andpoodles

Ten grand a day
Those rich old fools willpay

To fiind their precious poochies
With collars made at Gucci's

Devotion to dumb animals

Is no dumb gig
I love God's little creatures

Because the income's so darn big

Big

They're gone?
You didn't let me say goodbye?

They didn't mind. The only thing
animals care about is their next meal.

Yeah, next meal. Oh, boy!

First my daddy, and now Tom and Jerry.

Of course you feel miserable,
you selfish little girl.

You should be thinking of them.
They're happy where they are.

Later tonight, get rid
of the two new ones.

Pristine Figg's paid
for the privilege of doing them.

Well, well, well.

-Puggsy! Frankie!
-What are you guys doing here?

The straycatchers finally got me.
So l ain't perfect all the time.

l've told you that.

How did you guys wind up in this fix?

-We met this orphaned girl.
-Robyn.

-Only she's not.
-Her dad's alive!

-But she don't know it yet.
-What are you two talking about?

Her aunt got us,
we couldn't tell her.

We gotta escape.
The kid's gotta know.

Sure, but how?

Somebody's gotta press the buttons
on the control panel.

Don't look at me.
How can l get out of this cage?

-l think l can.
-l know you can.

Hello, all you happy people.

All right, everybody out.

Watch it! Watch it!

Quiet down there! l'm on the--

Well, pretty fancy footwork, pussycat.

-Go give that kid the good news.
-Right!

Do I miss you?

Count the stars

Multiply by 10

Ofcourse I do

More than now and then

I couldpaint a rainbow

Shine the sky

Set the stars in space

Faster than explain

How much I miss

Your face

Watch the moon

Someday soon

He will start to smile

When I say I'll see you

In a while

But till then I'll miss you

Dry my tears

Hide my fears away

Until that happy day

To the rainbow's end

Is where I would go

My friend I do

Miss you so

Jerry! Tom!

Robyn, have we got news for you!

He's alive? My daddy's alive?

l've got to go find him.

He might be hurt.
l'm sure he needs me.

lt'll be cold in Tibet.
l better wear a hat.

-Tibet?
-lf that's where my daddy is...

...that's where l'm going.

-Do you have any idea where Tibet is?
-No.

lt's way, way, way out there.

-Put your finger, here.
-Across the river.

-ln the woods.
-The hills.

lt's past Cleveland.

Here, Tom.
Throw this end out the window.

Tom, hurry.

-Down, please.
-l'll give you down.

She's escaped again.
l've got to call Lickboot.

-What's that?
-lt's just an old crate.

Wrong again. lt's a raft!

-They found her here last time.
-lt's Aunt Figg.

She'll come here.
l'll bet everything on it.

-That's exactly what you're doing.
-Shut up, you twit!

Twit.

Robyn Starling!
lt's your Aunt Figg, darling...

...come to take you home.

Hurry! Get on, and be quiet!

Didn't he go before we left home?

Robyn! Robyn, raft!

Robyn, raft! Raft!

Oh, shut up.

Gotcha!

Robyn, raft!

Hello? What do you want now, Lickboot?

No more money?

Without proof that Robyn
is cared for...

...we can't touch a penny
of her dad's money.

Don't talk foolishness, Lickboot.
Can't you do something...

...devious?

l'm sure if you put your mind to it,
you can be really sleazy.

Thank you, Pristine.
But suppose we get her back...

...and the little brat tells Daddy
Starling why she ran away?

Who's he gonna believe?
A whining, distraught little girl...

...or me, her warm, loving,
concerned nanny?

Now do something.
l mean lie, cheat, steal!

Corrupt a government!
Do anything to get that money...

-...you nerdy nitwit!
-Well, that's easy. A reward.

A reward?

Yes. People will do anything
for money.

Oh, don't l know. So?

So we offer a reward.
Someone will turn her in.

Big reward! Say, one million dollars.

But we don't have a million dollars.

l know. That's why it's so sleazy.

l love it when you talk like that.

This will get her back.

-Your daughter has run away.
-What?

My daughter's run away?

lf Robyn's in trouble,
there's only one place she'll go.

-lt's alive!
-Great wobbling wattles!

-Avast and heave to there, mate.
-You frightened me.

Sorry, dear. My first mate
doesn't mind his manners sometimes.

Blame me upbringing.

Don't mind him. How are you feeling?
Are you okay?

l feel a little dizzy.

You gave us a fright.
Been lying here a few days.

-We thought you'd never leave.
-Where am l?

You're the lucky guest of Captain
lKiddie. lKing of the county fair.

Pirate of pleasure and--

-Oh, yes. And my first mate, Squawk.
-He's funny.

-You hungry by any chance?
-Am l ever!

l bet you'd like milk and cookies.
All little girls like that.

-And milk and cookies is what we got.
-lt's all we got.

-What are you doing?
-Catching breakfast.

Okay. You wanna catch something?

Now, where are we?

l see something!

Hey, Tom. Look.

-What's that?
-Robyn's locket.

She must be around here somewhere.

-Where did you say you were headed?
-Davy Jones's locker, l figured.

-Tibet.
-l know it. Just outside of Cleveland.

-Have you been to Tibet?
-Yes.

l've played them all
from Broadway to Timbuktu.

-Why, l was a big star in my day.
-Oh, boy, here we go.

I have played at The Palace
I've sung at The Met

Both were fiiascoes
I'll never forget

I have danced before royalty
Played Caesar in Rome

Forgive my disloyalty
You should've stayed at home

I walked high wires for Ringling
From Peking to Perth

It was not the greatest show on earth

-The audience adored me
-They came to see you fall

-Without a doubt, a great success
-They threw you out, it was a mess

Am I a ham, or am I not?

I guess the answer is, yes

-I've done it all
-Boy, you got gall

-Done it all
-You've got gall

I've played the boondocks
And I slayed Carnegie Hall

-Nothing at all
-Iplayed Macbeth on ice

-And gotpneumonia twice
-Guess you can't have it all

-I starred in Maine
-They're still in pain

-Then Montreal
-The role was small

-Saskatoon, Minneapolis and St. Paul
-That was a haul

Name any theater town
And I've been there

Though it's been up and down
I hang in there

Spring, summer, fall
I've done it all

-I've been around
-Tell me about it

-And I have found
-What have you found?

-The showbiz trick is to be renowned
-Try getting drowned

That's why I fly trapeze
Do all the tricks with ease

Six inches off the ground

-Your height ofsuccess
-You'll see the fiinal curtain fall

-My favorite moment
-Watch me take my fiinal curtain call

Do we have to?

No one who ever played the theater

Knows how to milk an audience better

And all in all as I recall

It's wall to wall
We've done it all

Well, my dear, should we take our show
on the road?

A toast to our new star!

Captain.

What? Can't you see
l'm conversing with our guest?

-Captain, l gotta talk to you.
-All right already.

-Can we step outside?
-Will you excuse us for a moment?

-l need to confer with my first mate.
-Sure.

-l'm rich! l'm rich!
-What do you mean, you're rich?

-We're rich.
-Yeah, l forgot.

-The jackpot!
-The end of the rainbow!

-The pot of gold!
-Rich! Richer! Richest!

Oh, boy! Food!

-Sorry.
-No, look! lt's Robyn!

-Where?
-Right there, on the milk carton!

Oh, yeah, that's her!
Wow! A million dollar reward.

Hey, you don't suppose....

No doubt about it, Robyn must be here.

Yeah, let's look around.

Miss Pristine Figg.
What a lovely name.

lt sounds like a million dollars!

My fault?
What do you mean, it's my fault?

lf you had done away with those two,
the brat wouldn't have run away again.

Nevertheless, those two animals
have cost me a bundle.

Not to mention the damage.

Damage? l--
Excuse me, l must get the phone.

Hello? Yes.

Yes, l did offer
a one million dollar reward...

...for the return
of my precious little Robyn.

Captain lKiddie's Carnival!
We've got her!

l've got her.

Yes, yes, yes!

Now, doctor. You were talking
to me about damages?

Doctor? Doctor? Where is that creep?

-We found her.
-Where?

Captain lKiddie's Carnival.
lKnow it?

We'll be there before you can say
''one million dollars.''

One million dollars!

lf l get to Robyn before Pristine
Figg, the reward will be mine.

-What are we gonna get?
-Yeah. What's in it for us?

For you? lf you'd gotten rid
of that cat and mouse...

...we wouldn't be in this fix.
You get nothing.

Come back!
We'll share it fifty-fifty.

Sixty-forty.

Come back! We'll negotiate!

Wow. lt's really neat.

lt's like a fairyland.

How about a ride on the Ferris wheel?

-Tallest one in the county.
-lt's the only one.

Great view from the top.
You can see the whole carnival.

-You can see it all right here.
-l love Ferris wheels.

You'll love this one.
Let's make sure it's safe.

We wouldn't want anything
to happen to Robyn Starling.

-How did you know my name?
-Sorry, kid.

l gotta keep you here for your aunt.

-l thought you were a nice man.
-l am, my dear.

He'll be even nicer
with a million dollars.

-Enjoy your ride, my dear.
-lt's on the house.

Please let me down.
Don't send me back to my aunt.

She hates me.
Don't send me back.

Just relax. Look around.

You're on top of the world.

Sun's over the yardarm...

...which means naptime
for the old captain.

My locket.

Tom! Jerry!

What the--? Pirates off the port bow.
All hands on deck.

Get him.
Don't let him escape.

Hurry! Get him!

Gotcha.

-Where's the girl?
-We wants to see the money, honey.

Only after l see Robyn.

You're too late.
Where's the little brat?

She's safe on the Ferris wheel.

-There she is!
-The million-dollar kid. We're rich!

Stop them!

Tom. lt's moving.

Don't look now,
but here comes the dragon lady.

Come to your dear Aunt Figg, darling.

Don't let the brat get by you.

What do we do?

l'll get us out of here. Come on.

They're getting away!

Push the red button.
lt's always red.

l know, l was just gonna push it.

Tom, Jerry. Hurry!

Get the car. We'll head her off.

Move it, captain.
We're in a race for a million.

Not to worry.
This old captain knows a trick or two.

Let me steer. Let me steer!

Out of the way, l'm the captain.

You're too late, doc!

Hey, doc. Doc. We're up here.
Hey, doc. Get us out of here!

Sorry, boys! One good turn
deserves another!

Oh, no! They're following us!

-We're going as fast as we can.
-Here, Tom. Let me try.

We need more steam!

You twit. Get us out of here.
They're getting away.

Let go of the wheel, l tell you.
l'm the captain. l'll steer.

You couldn't navigate around a tub.

That takes care of them.

-What about Aunt Figg? Where is she?
-l don't know. Maybe we lost her.

-Wait a minute. This looks familiar.
-What?

l know where we're at.
We're going straight to Robyn's Nest.

That special place l told you about.

Of course.

What are you doing?
You're gonna lose them.

Don't worry.
l know where they're going.

We're taking a shortcut.

-lKnow where they're going? How?
-Lawyers know everything.

There it is. There's the cabin.
Daddy built it for me.

We'd come here every summer.
He taught me to swim, sail and fish.

Daddy will know where to find me.
Maybe he's here already.

l'll bet he is.

Daddy?

Daddy is dead.

Tom, Jerry, help!

lf you know what's good for you,
you'll never run away again. Never.

You're not taking me back.
You never will.

Yes, we will.

Why, you little....

Fools. Look what you've done.
Grab the girl, and let's go.

The house is burning.
Get out, before it's too late!

No, l won't go with you!
You'll never take me back!

-Let's get out of here before we fry!
-But the girl!

Forget her. We gotta save ourselves.

Give me those keys!
Look what you've done!

The cabin's on fire.
We may be too late.

Daddy!

Robyn, l'm coming! Hang on!

Robyn, take my hand! Hurry!

-Daddy, l knew you'd come.
-You're safe now. l'm here.

Wait. No, we can't leave them!

-Hey!
-Come back! Come back!

Tom! Jerry!

Daddy, they're gone.
My best friends are gone.

Don't cry, Robyn. We'll find them.

Jerry, where are you?

Don't leave me, buddy.
You gotta be here!

What would l do without you?

You were the best pal a guy
could ever have. Please be alive.

l promise you....

-All the cheese l want?
-All the cheese....

-No more traps?
-No more.

-No tricks?
-None.

-Promise?
-That's a--

l'm gonna--
Why, you little--

Tom, Jerry, you're safe!

Robyn!

Robyn, l promise
l'll never leave you again.

Well, well, well.
Listen to this, Frankie.

''Heroes! Cat and mouse
save billionaire heiress.''

What did l tell you?
Those two have done well.

Yeah. l guess they learned
to be pals, after all.

Friends to the end.

Tom, Jerry, welcome to your new home.