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1
00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:20,400
Why you on your own?
2
00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,680
You prefer it, your own company?
3
00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:30,520
Do you want a drink?
4
00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:34,800
I think you do.
5
00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:37,600
Okay, then.
6
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:02,496
I'm glad to hear things
are okay over there in Sweden
7
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:03,880
and that the course is good.
8
00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:07,440
Everything is basically the same here
as before you left.
9
00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:10,776
I looked up your friend,
the photographer
10
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:12,656
on Facebook, by the way.
11
00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:14,120
He seems interesting.
12
00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:18,240
Is he your boyfriend or are
you not putting labels on it?
13
00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:21,856
I know you like the tall, handsome guys
as you say.
14
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:26,760
So, why not Lukas, who looks tall
and is also handsome?
15
00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:30,496
Helen has seen his photo
and agrees, but whatever.
16
00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:32,256
I'm not pushing the boyfriend thing.
17
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:35,280
I just hope you've confirmed that
he is not a psychopath.
18
00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:38,160
You don't always have
a good radar on that.
19
00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:41,216
Helen says hi, by the way.
20
00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:43,200
And let me know when
you're back for Christmas.
21
00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:46,360
It'd be good to see you.
22
00:01:58,641 --> 00:02:00,040
Marianne?
Mm‐hmm?
23
00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:04,120
Oh.
24
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:06,200
You looks nice.
25
00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:10,320
You okay?
26
00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,520
I'm gonna go grab something
to eat. You want to come?
27
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,680
Sure.
Sure.
28
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:40,520
Something the matter?
29
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:49,320
Oh.
30
00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,200
Are you breaking up with me?
31
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:56,680
Maybe.
32
00:02:58,320 --> 00:02:59,360
Maybe, yeah.
33
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:05,096
Okay, uh, can I do anything
to stop you from breaking up with me?
34
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,000
Come on.
35
00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:13,120
- Tell me, what is it?
Look.
36
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:18,080
I just... I don't think a relationship
is what I want.
37
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:21,000
What do you want?
38
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:30,560
I really like you.
39
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:34,400
That.
40
00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:38,840
I don't‐I don't want that.
41
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:41,640
I don't want you to say that.
42
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:47,360
Really?
Really.
43
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,440
I want...
44
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:53,880
if anything...
45
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,520
the opposite.
46
00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:58,360
Of that.
47
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:05,520
Yeah.
48
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:08,720
That would be better.
49
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,120
We're a bunch of, um...
50
00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:23,936
scientists and pragmatists,
you know what I mean?
51
00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,680
Yeah. It's nice to have
somebody with a little bit of creativity.
52
00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:29,896
- Thanks, Dad.
- No, I didn't‐‐
53
00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,800
no, I mean, in a good way.
54
00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,760
- Yeah, that was nice.
- Yeah?
55
00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,080
They really liked you.
56
00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:46,000
They never really got on with Rory.
57
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,336
Right.
58
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:49,816
Don't know why.
59
00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:51,360
Maybe he was a bit full of it.
60
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:54,560
He was probably a gobshite.
61
00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,280
Did your mom like Marianne?
Of course.
62
00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:02,680
Lorraine likes everybody.
63
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,520
I think she felt a bit sorry for her.
64
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,280
Sorry for Marianne?
About what?
65
00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:23,560
I want to have a shower.
66
00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:28,720
We're not done here.
67
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:31,400
Don't ask that,
don't ask me for stuff.
68
00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:35,200
Don't move.
69
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,160
I'll tell you when it's over
and you can have a shower.
70
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:45,520
You're worthless.
71
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:50,280
You're nothing.
72
00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:02,000
I feel so
not myself at the moment.
73
00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:04,720
Not in a bad way.
74
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:09,120
I just feel outside
of my own life somehow.
75
00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,600
Sometimes, someone will
make eye contact with me
76
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:17,200
like a bus conductor or
a person looking for change.
77
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:21,000
And I'll feel shocked that anyone
can actually see me.
78
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,000
And there's something comforting about it.
79
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,520
Something good about feeling sort of numb.
80
00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:29,800
Detached from it all.
81
00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:32,480
Does that make sense?
82
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:47,720
Thank you for bringing us to the fucking
most depressing Christmas party ever.
83
00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:49,976
Look at the roof.
Look at that roof.
84
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:53,176
It's the most, single‐handedly
the most depressing place‐‐.
85
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:54,616
I'm having a great time.
86
00:07:58,040 --> 00:07:59,160
All right.
87
00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:04,520
Yeah, four lagers, please.
Thanks.
88
00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:10,320
Connell Waldron.
All right, Peggy.
89
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:16,200
Jesus Christ,
haven't seen you in such a long time.
90
00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:18,936
How's Marianne getting on?
91
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,176
I heard she's up to some
interesting stuff over in Sweden.
92
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,376
I'm so fuckin' jealous.
93
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,696
Jamie was saying she was
into some weird stuff.
94
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:29,096
Like, bondage and shit.
Was that you?
95
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:30,816
Did you like, kick her off
on all that stuff?
96
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,080
Fuck off, Peggy.
97
00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:34,816
I'm just talking about stuff
I've heard here...
98
00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:36,800
Yeah, and I don't want to hear
about it, thanks.
99
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:55,320
You all right?
100
00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:57,800
What's up?
101
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:00,600
It's just Peggy.
102
00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:02,880
Saying shit about Marianne.
103
00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:05,576
Oh.
104
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:07,280
- Saying what?
Oh, just shit.
105
00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:15,280
- What?
She just...
106
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,240
seems to be a person
that people like to talk about.
107
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:22,560
Right.
108
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,960
And... I don't know that she...
109
00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:31,040
necessarily has a problem with that.
110
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,280
Uh, what do you mean?
111
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:40,840
I mean, she sort of fucking
invites it, Connell.
112
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,000
Enjoys it.
113
00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:50,680
Why are you so bothered?
114
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,400
Well, I'm gonna go in.
I'm cold.
115
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:27,776
From your emails,
it doesn't sound like you're completely
116
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,096
happy in Sweden.
117
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:30,680
Maybe I'm wrong.
118
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:34,256
I think I know the feeling
of being detached from the world,
119
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,320
although I haven't felt that way lately.
120
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:45,896
Not to put pressure on you at all,
because it's obviously your decision.
121
00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:48,680
But I'm sad to hear you're not
coming home for Christmas.
122
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:52,096
Thinking it over,
I don't think I've ever gone
123
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:54,120
a whole year of my life without
seeing you before.
124
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,440
At least not since we were 11 or 12.
125
00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:10,400
Anyway, that's just my way
of saying I miss you.
126
00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:13,720
And I'm looking forward to seeing you,
whenever that will be.
127
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:19,320
Will you send a message
to let me know how you're getting on?
128
00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,280
Or we could even talk
on the phone if you want.
129
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:30,800
I hope things are okay.
130
00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:35,536
It just doesn't make any sense
131
00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:37,560
to come back for such
a short amount of time.
132
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:46,520
Hello?
133
00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:48,680
DENISE I heard you.
134
00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:51,440
I have a lot of work on.
135
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,560
It's Christmas. Yeah.
136
00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:56,680
I'm aware.
137
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:02,960
So you'll stay in Sweden
on Christmas Day?
138
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:06,880
I don't know.
I'll work or something.
139
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,120
And we'll see you when exactly?
140
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:16,720
I don't know.
141
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:20,440
Right.
142
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,400
Well, I better not keep you.
You sound very busy.
143
00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:28,520
Bye.
144
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,960
I've been thinking a lot
about the summer.
145
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,000
And about Jamie and Peggy.
146
00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:03,056
I'm trying to figure out
if I ever really thought
147
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,560
that that was friendship.
148
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,440
That it was real.
149
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,960
Or if I just liked the feeling of it.
150
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,160
The pretense of it.
151
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,720
You must be getting ready to go home.
152
00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:26,720
When I think of Christmastime, now,
I think of Carricklea.
153
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,680
I imagine a Christmas tree
in your front room.
154
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,080
Covered in tinsel.
155
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,680
I can't picture my house at all.
156
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:40,560
I miss you.
157
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,240
I'm gonna take your photo.
158
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:10,400
What do you mean?
159
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,200
I have an idea.
160
00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:17,040
When?
Tomorrow.
161
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:19,760
Okay.
162
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:25,600
Come in the shower.
163
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:32,160
Come. Come closer to the water.
164
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:39,256
What you been up to?
165
00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:41,320
JOANNA I am on part seven,
166
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,920
um, of this documentary about
the American civil war.
167
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:46,536
Jesus.
168
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,976
I've got lots of knowledge about
American Civil War Generals
169
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,640
that I can't wait to share with you.
170
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:54,880
So what about you? How's Lukas?
171
00:15:58,080 --> 00:15:59,200
How's it going?
172
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,400
Yeah, okay.
173
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:03,320
Do you like him?
174
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,200
It's not that sort of thing.
175
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:10,680
He's fine.
I mean, I don't really feel...
176
00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:13,360
Okay.
177
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:43,840
Hey.
178
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:46,320
Hi.
179
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,440
Nearly done.
180
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:02,480
Okay.
181
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,256
I still don't know with the light yet.
182
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:22,120
Maybe we can do, like...
183
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:24,080
first one...
184
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:26,400
like this, and then another one.
185
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:28,160
And we'll see.
186
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:32,096
Okay.
187
00:17:57,680 --> 00:17:58,816
Do you want me to...
188
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:00,640
Sure, just the jumper for now.
189
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:13,680
Untie your hair.
190
00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:22,240
Maybe take this off now.
191
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:44,520
Can we not do this now?
192
00:18:48,241 --> 00:18:49,616
This is what you wanted.
193
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:01,840
Good.
194
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:08,520
It's been a while since
I've heard from you.
195
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,000
Is everything all right?
196
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,816
I wonder if I said something
stupid in my last email.
197
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,000
And I hope not,
but I'm sorry if I did.
198
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:19,896
I know you told me the reason
199
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:21,976
you're not coming home at Christmas
has to do with your family,
200
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,120
and maybe
I shouldn't have brushed over that.
201
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:26,840
Good.
202
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:29,656
I'm sorry to bring this up
203
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:31,896
because I know we both
feel awkward about it,
204
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,880
but I haven't forgotten the things
you told me when we were in Italy,
205
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,976
and I hope you know that
none of those things are your fault,
206
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,376
and there is nothing wrong with you.
207
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:40,600
Open your eyes.
208
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:42,720
I'm tired.
209
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,096
Open your fucking eyes.
210
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:46,400
You are a good person,
211
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,760
and I say that as someone
who really knows you.
212
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,776
I know I reacted very stupidly that night
and to be honest,
213
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:58,120
I'm lucky that we're still friends because
it was such an idiotic thing to do.
214
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,576
Just because people
treat you badly at times,
215
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:04,336
and I include myself in that, by the way,
216
00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:06,560
it doesn't mean you deserve
to be treated badly.
217
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,520
A lot of people love you
and care about you.
218
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:13,600
I hope you know that.
219
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,280
No.
220
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,656
Don't make this hard on yourself.
221
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,280
I don't want to do this.
222
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:30,400
No.
16185
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