All language subtitles for Hitmen s01e05 Blunder.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,497 --> 00:00:03,945 WOMAN: Mummy's here now. 2 00:00:04,025 --> 00:00:06,932 This will all be over in two shakes of a lamb's tail. 3 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:09,225 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) 4 00:00:09,455 --> 00:00:11,912 Mr K can send as many... (COCKS GUN) 5 00:00:11,931 --> 00:00:13,678 ... dollies as he likes. 6 00:00:13,819 --> 00:00:15,809 I'll fix them all. 7 00:00:16,225 --> 00:00:18,025 (EXHALES HEAVILY) 8 00:00:21,861 --> 00:00:23,512 DJ ON CAR RADIO: Yeah, that was 9 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:27,097 Signed, Sealed, Delivered by Stevie Wonder. 10 00:00:27,105 --> 00:00:32,105 OK, this next one is going out to Fran and Jamie. 11 00:00:32,578 --> 00:00:34,557 Oh, my God! They're playing my request. 12 00:00:34,939 --> 00:00:36,639 (SIGHS) Go on, turn it up. 13 00:00:36,910 --> 00:00:39,793 The two of them are off to bonnie Scotland 14 00:00:39,847 --> 00:00:42,275 to take someone out. 15 00:00:42,287 --> 00:00:45,037 - Well, whatever you've got planned for them... - What? 16 00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:46,825 ... I'm sure they'll enjoy it. 17 00:00:47,966 --> 00:00:49,488 I love a road trip. 18 00:00:51,002 --> 00:00:54,644 We're just a couple of hot babes cutting loose, 19 00:00:54,831 --> 00:00:56,971 letting the road take us wheresoe'er it will. 20 00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:58,839 We've got to stay sharp today, Jamie. 21 00:00:59,091 --> 00:01:00,937 This target used to work for Mr K 22 00:01:00,963 --> 00:01:02,939 before she went completely insane. 23 00:01:03,061 --> 00:01:06,116 - Oh, my God. Is it Annie Maddox? - Yep. 24 00:01:06,138 --> 00:01:09,590 She wiped out an entire family by drilling holes in their heads. 25 00:01:09,594 --> 00:01:11,472 Not just the family, mate. She wiped out the family, 26 00:01:11,483 --> 00:01:13,318 the pets, the neighbours and some poor guy 27 00:01:13,322 --> 00:01:15,350 parked in a Mr Whippy van outside. 28 00:01:16,075 --> 00:01:18,832 Mr K says we have to deal with her before she goes even more rogue. 29 00:01:20,109 --> 00:01:21,944 (MOBILE PINGS) 30 00:01:24,571 --> 00:01:27,122 I gave you my phone for you to give me directions. What are you doing? 31 00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:28,872 - Nothing. - (MOBILE PINGS) 32 00:01:30,893 --> 00:01:32,777 - Er, Fran? - Mm-hm. 33 00:01:33,689 --> 00:01:34,951 Don't be cross 34 00:01:34,985 --> 00:01:39,703 but I might have signed you up to a... dating app. 35 00:01:39,966 --> 00:01:42,315 - What?! - Joao is out of your life. 36 00:01:42,346 --> 00:01:44,375 You're single. You've got to get back in there. 37 00:01:44,402 --> 00:01:46,556 Apps are the way forward. I'm on one. 38 00:01:46,979 --> 00:01:48,401 I've hooked up with three guys already. 39 00:01:48,425 --> 00:01:50,332 - I thought you were with Colin. - (GROANS) 40 00:01:50,446 --> 00:01:51,728 I gave him the boot. 41 00:01:51,934 --> 00:01:54,842 You're gonna like this. I've made you an amazing profile. 42 00:01:54,926 --> 00:01:58,092 - There's a bunch of people interested. - I bet they're all weirdos. 43 00:01:58,119 --> 00:02:01,394 Somebody did send a picture of a grave with your name on it but 44 00:02:01,452 --> 00:02:05,208 there are a couple of really, really cool people. 45 00:02:05,238 --> 00:02:08,354 Er... you might want to look at this. 46 00:02:08,450 --> 00:02:12,386 She loves climbing and animals! 47 00:02:14,007 --> 00:02:15,945 Er, no, I think you should delete the app. 48 00:02:16,452 --> 00:02:19,030 How are gonna know if she's responded to your message? 49 00:02:19,377 --> 00:02:22,089 - Have you messaged her?! - Well, yeah. I just put "Hey." 50 00:02:24,461 --> 00:02:27,363 And I also sent her a picture of you dressed as the Tin Man at Pride. 51 00:02:27,385 --> 00:02:30,285 Why would you do that? Why would you send that picture?! 52 00:02:30,505 --> 00:02:32,413 (RATTLING) 53 00:02:35,158 --> 00:02:39,040 When you went to the garage, did you fill up with petrol... 54 00:02:39,837 --> 00:02:41,962 - ... or diesel? - Yeah, now, 55 00:02:41,977 --> 00:02:44,612 I couldn't remember what you'd said 56 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:47,018 so I put in half and half. 57 00:02:48,532 --> 00:02:51,693 - (ENGINE FAILS TO START) - It's not a fucking shandy, Jamie. 58 00:02:51,934 --> 00:02:54,138 Nah, there's nothing. Nothing. 59 00:02:54,291 --> 00:02:56,754 - Should I call the AA? - How are you gonna explain all this? 60 00:02:56,784 --> 00:02:57,913 It's not that bad. 61 00:02:59,465 --> 00:03:00,679 Oh, yeah. 62 00:03:06,364 --> 00:03:08,809 - (SIGHS) - Do you wanna call them or shall I? 63 00:03:13,012 --> 00:03:14,088 Oh, for f... 64 00:03:14,105 --> 00:03:15,800 (TYRES SCREECH) 65 00:03:17,425 --> 00:03:20,396 You just can't get enough of me, can you? 66 00:03:21,730 --> 00:03:23,665 - Hiya, guys! So... - Shut up, Charles! 67 00:03:24,827 --> 00:03:29,144 So, you had to call the competition to bail your asses out again. 68 00:03:29,175 --> 00:03:31,593 We just need a lift to the station so we can get on with our job. 69 00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:32,985 Sure, we could do that. 70 00:03:33,035 --> 00:03:35,056 Or we could drive you all the way there, 71 00:03:35,086 --> 00:03:37,054 split the hit 50-50. 72 00:03:37,138 --> 00:03:38,865 I hear you got Annie Maddox. 73 00:03:38,881 --> 00:03:40,315 She's worth big money. 74 00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:43,049 - No. - Suit yourself. 75 00:03:43,281 --> 00:03:44,865 (ENGINE STARTS) 76 00:03:45,181 --> 00:03:46,634 OK, um... 77 00:03:47,087 --> 00:03:48,475 - 80-20. - Deal. 78 00:03:48,506 --> 00:03:50,241 Ignore him, he's an idiot. 79 00:03:50,695 --> 00:03:52,991 Good luck explaining this to Mr K. 80 00:03:54,627 --> 00:03:56,629 (STAMMERS) OK, 50-50. 81 00:03:58,830 --> 00:04:00,225 40-60? 82 00:04:04,585 --> 00:04:07,064 - Welcome to the fast lane... - (INHALER RATTLES) 83 00:04:07,437 --> 00:04:09,308 - ... bitch. - (INHALES DEEPLY) 84 00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:14,299 A few ground rules. 85 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:15,500 No chewing gum. 86 00:04:15,721 --> 00:04:17,640 I just had the seats reupholstered. 87 00:04:17,773 --> 00:04:18,910 No crying. 88 00:04:19,280 --> 00:04:21,720 If you need to cry, do it outside the van. 89 00:04:21,869 --> 00:04:25,717 Mostly importantly, nobody touches the tech but me. 90 00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:26,934 It's military grade 91 00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:31,014 and finely-tuned to respond to my voice and my voice alone. 92 00:04:31,044 --> 00:04:33,309 - VAN COMPUTER: Ordering Home Alone. - No! 93 00:04:33,385 --> 00:04:34,869 Obviously not! 94 00:04:34,999 --> 00:04:37,676 (HUFFS) Fucking thing's been acting up. 95 00:04:39,766 --> 00:04:42,242 Give me the target's address, I'll plug it in to the GPS. 96 00:04:42,272 --> 00:04:45,018 But if I gave you the location, 97 00:04:45,144 --> 00:04:47,573 you'd just sling us out and take the job yourself, so 98 00:04:47,642 --> 00:04:50,007 - I will direct you. - Wow. 99 00:04:50,018 --> 00:04:52,703 So this whole super uptight thing isn't just an act. 100 00:04:52,939 --> 00:04:54,289 This should be fun. 101 00:04:54,888 --> 00:04:57,062 Your van is so much cooler than ours. 102 00:04:57,451 --> 00:05:00,201 You've got carpet, phone charger, 103 00:05:00,227 --> 00:05:01,814 - a bean bag back there. - Yeah. 104 00:05:01,985 --> 00:05:03,573 - Gun rack. - Yep. 105 00:05:04,522 --> 00:05:06,139 Is that an espresso machine? 106 00:05:06,150 --> 00:05:10,189 It is indeed. Well spotted. I'm actually not allowed to use that. 107 00:05:10,368 --> 00:05:13,229 Um, Liz said so. Because I get quite gassy. 108 00:05:13,324 --> 00:05:15,533 Yeah. One Vanilio capsule 109 00:05:15,575 --> 00:05:17,951 and my arsehole is in tatters. 110 00:05:18,854 --> 00:05:20,465 (MOBILE PINGS) 111 00:05:22,514 --> 00:05:24,604 - Oh, my God, she messaged you back. - Who? 112 00:05:24,951 --> 00:05:26,252 JAMIE: Nobody. Nobody. 113 00:05:26,271 --> 00:05:29,826 Fran's visa marriage just collapsed so she signed up to a dating app 114 00:05:29,837 --> 00:05:32,621 and a really cute woman's messaging her. 115 00:05:32,895 --> 00:05:35,248 This should be fun. What did she say? 116 00:05:35,355 --> 00:05:37,491 Well, that's none of your business. 117 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:39,101 OK, new ground rule. 118 00:05:39,226 --> 00:05:40,878 Everyone has to read out their messages. 119 00:05:40,973 --> 00:05:44,336 - Your application for an overdraft has been den... - Not you, Charles! 120 00:05:44,596 --> 00:05:47,651 We're not messaging, we're emoji-ing. Gotta get with the kids. 121 00:05:47,673 --> 00:05:49,634 And she's sent me a thumbs-up 122 00:05:49,669 --> 00:05:52,167 which is massive in my community. 123 00:05:52,197 --> 00:05:54,741 - What a dick. - You are so in there. 124 00:05:54,768 --> 00:05:56,563 - Do you think? - Definitely. 125 00:05:56,621 --> 00:05:59,099 - (MOBILE PINGS) - "What are you up to this weekend? 126 00:05:59,110 --> 00:06:01,700 My flatmate is away so I'm home alone." 127 00:06:01,723 --> 00:06:05,261 - COMPUTER: Ordering Home Alone. - Jesus Christ! Not again! 128 00:06:05,284 --> 00:06:06,944 Grrrr! (HUFFS CROSSLY) 129 00:06:06,951 --> 00:06:08,744 OK, guys, can I just say something? 130 00:06:08,751 --> 00:06:10,964 I know Liz well and she's getting really worked up. 131 00:06:10,975 --> 00:06:13,874 So can everyone please not even say anything 132 00:06:13,885 --> 00:06:16,284 that remotely sounds a bit like Home Alone? 133 00:06:16,311 --> 00:06:18,813 - COMPUTER: Ordering Home Alone. - What the fuck?! 134 00:06:19,938 --> 00:06:22,875 - Can we pull over? I think I might need another cry. - Fuck my life. 135 00:06:27,482 --> 00:06:30,666 I heard Annie Maddox is holed up in an old school or something. 136 00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:32,718 Maybe. 137 00:06:33,618 --> 00:06:35,345 Guess she really lost it, huh? 138 00:06:37,665 --> 00:06:39,579 (SCOFFS AND CHUCKLES) 139 00:06:39,930 --> 00:06:42,333 Can you at least tell me how much further till I turn off? 140 00:06:42,348 --> 00:06:45,898 No way. Just stay on the road until I tell you to come off. 141 00:06:46,234 --> 00:06:48,510 - (COUGHS) Uptight. - (CHARLES CHATTERS SOFTLY) 142 00:06:50,283 --> 00:06:53,315 So, this is your area of the van, I'm guessing. 143 00:06:53,334 --> 00:06:56,858 - Yeah, this is my man cave, if you will. - (BOTH CHUCKLE) 144 00:06:57,319 --> 00:07:00,381 No, it's lovely. Liz even let me put up some pictures that I've done. 145 00:07:00,534 --> 00:07:02,918 Oh, yeah. Now, who are those people? 146 00:07:03,063 --> 00:07:05,145 These guys are famous impressionists... 147 00:07:05,164 --> 00:07:06,994 - Oh, yeah? - ... and heroes of mine. 148 00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:11,087 I used to be quite involved in the whole impression game myself. 149 00:07:11,099 --> 00:07:13,120 - Ah. Wow. - I used to be pretty handy. 150 00:07:13,146 --> 00:07:16,743 Yeah. We used to have a monthly comedy night back in Helmand 151 00:07:16,766 --> 00:07:18,456 when I was there as an army nurse. 152 00:07:18,498 --> 00:07:21,697 Um, we used to call it Laugh-ganistan. 153 00:07:22,430 --> 00:07:23,986 (CHUCKLES) 154 00:07:24,185 --> 00:07:26,106 - Laugh... Afghanistan. - Oh! 155 00:07:26,129 --> 00:07:29,856 - (CHUCKLES) Play on words. Bit of a play on words. - That's good. 156 00:07:29,937 --> 00:07:33,327 - (LAUGHS) - No, I seriously considered going pro, actually, 157 00:07:33,354 --> 00:07:36,465 until Liz reminded me, "Look, you haven't got the talent, 158 00:07:36,545 --> 00:07:38,273 - the ability... " - The charisma. 159 00:07:38,281 --> 00:07:40,771 The charisma. She kind of made me realise that 160 00:07:40,805 --> 00:07:42,731 your dreams are a waste of time. 161 00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:44,725 - Great. - Yeah. 162 00:07:45,702 --> 00:07:46,702 What's up? 163 00:07:47,463 --> 00:07:51,350 Well, we were emoji-ing and it was all going really well 164 00:07:51,365 --> 00:07:54,196 - and then suddenly she just left the chat. - Ouch. 165 00:07:54,531 --> 00:07:56,431 - What did you send her? - I mean, 166 00:07:56,499 --> 00:07:58,700 just the usual, to be honest. Er, I did, 167 00:07:58,723 --> 00:08:01,952 - fox, horse, fox, fox, fox, horse, unicorn. - (SCOFFS) 168 00:08:02,532 --> 00:08:04,485 - You sent a unicorn? - Yeah. 169 00:08:04,565 --> 00:08:06,388 - Do you know what that means? - Wh... 170 00:08:06,705 --> 00:08:08,705 (JAMIE AND CHARLES CHATTER) 171 00:08:09,552 --> 00:08:11,455 - Charles... come on. - Jamie, I... 172 00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:12,900 - I'm rusty. - Just one. Go on. 173 00:08:12,923 --> 00:08:16,283 - No, I'm shy. I'm shy. Shy boy. - (SIGHS) (TUTS) 174 00:08:16,786 --> 00:08:18,846 OK, right, I'll do one. 175 00:08:18,861 --> 00:08:20,230 - OK. (LAUGHS) - Um... 176 00:08:20,673 --> 00:08:21,885 OK. 177 00:08:23,911 --> 00:08:26,001 (SILLY VOICE) I'm ET. 178 00:08:27,812 --> 00:08:29,917 - Is it ET? - Yes. 179 00:08:30,245 --> 00:08:34,139 Yeah, good. I don't think ET ever says, "I'm ET." 180 00:08:34,609 --> 00:08:36,329 It was more kind of um... 181 00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:41,352 (AS ET) I'll be right here. 182 00:08:41,375 --> 00:08:43,667 Oh, Charles, that is brilliant. 183 00:08:43,698 --> 00:08:46,070 - Thank you. - Is that one of your... 184 00:08:46,417 --> 00:08:48,518 - Yeah? - One of those classics, yeah. 185 00:08:48,579 --> 00:08:51,425 - I'm famous for that one. - I'd love to be able to do that. 186 00:08:52,359 --> 00:08:57,359 (AS ET) ET phone home. 187 00:08:57,905 --> 00:09:01,168 - COMPUTER: Ordering Home Alone. - The fuck, Charles! 188 00:09:01,465 --> 00:09:02,530 Sorry. 189 00:09:02,942 --> 00:09:05,280 - (SOFTLY) You got me in trouble. - Not my fault. 190 00:09:05,425 --> 00:09:07,425 (TYRES SCREECH) 191 00:09:07,816 --> 00:09:09,196 We'll stay here tonight. 192 00:09:09,204 --> 00:09:11,630 We need to be fresh if we're gonna take Annie down. 193 00:09:11,665 --> 00:09:14,898 Charles, let's check and see if they have any rooms. 194 00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:15,929 OK, cool. 195 00:09:16,450 --> 00:09:17,476 Now or... ? 196 00:09:17,495 --> 00:09:19,108 - Andale! - Yes, mamacita. 197 00:09:24,741 --> 00:09:26,727 - How's it going up here? - Well, 198 00:09:26,788 --> 00:09:30,403 my dating technique could best be described as... chilling. 199 00:09:30,415 --> 00:09:34,023 No, I meant with Liz. I saw you guys chatting away. 200 00:09:34,042 --> 00:09:36,681 - What? - There's more than a whiff of chemistry. 201 00:09:36,753 --> 00:09:39,640 I have not seen one single sign that she is into it. 202 00:09:39,671 --> 00:09:41,025 I got us a room. 203 00:09:41,254 --> 00:09:42,394 What?! 204 00:09:44,129 --> 00:09:45,582 The four of us. 205 00:09:46,367 --> 00:09:48,105 Yeah, I mean, obviously er... 206 00:09:48,665 --> 00:09:49,792 all of us. 207 00:09:51,585 --> 00:09:53,225 They only had one left, so... 208 00:09:53,350 --> 00:09:55,173 Well, that makes sense. Yeah. 209 00:09:57,828 --> 00:09:58,995 Get your stuff. 210 00:09:59,296 --> 00:10:01,833 Yeah, I'll see... (CLEARS THROAT) ... see you in there. 211 00:10:15,866 --> 00:10:19,459 You look like you're gonna be comfy down there tonight, Charles. 212 00:10:19,781 --> 00:10:21,299 That's good, actually. 213 00:10:21,604 --> 00:10:22,686 (GRUNTS) 214 00:10:23,025 --> 00:10:24,908 - It's nice in here, isn't it? - Yeah. 215 00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:26,823 - Yeah. - Not sleeping in the bed? 216 00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:29,381 Basically, me and Liz have this arrangement 217 00:10:29,393 --> 00:10:32,360 where I let her sleep in the bed and she lets me sleep on the floor. 218 00:10:32,391 --> 00:10:35,133 - And you're welcome. - Thank you, I appreciate it. 219 00:10:35,314 --> 00:10:36,332 It's lovely. 220 00:10:36,340 --> 00:10:38,971 - Nice jimjams, Charles. - Oh, thank you very much. Yeah, paisley. 221 00:10:41,660 --> 00:10:44,625 - You wanna take a picture, Fran? - Yeah, er, actually, I was 222 00:10:44,705 --> 00:10:48,960 taking er... in the tea- and coffe-making facilities. Yep. 223 00:10:49,544 --> 00:10:51,271 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 224 00:10:51,298 --> 00:10:52,825 It's just one of our weapons guys. 225 00:10:53,167 --> 00:10:54,692 We're running low on ammo. 226 00:10:56,085 --> 00:10:57,686 I'm so sorry I'm late. 227 00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:00,065 I drove as fast as I could. 228 00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:03,399 I've got Ofsted in tomorrow. Day job's an absolute mare. 229 00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:07,905 (HEAVY THUD) 230 00:11:13,310 --> 00:11:14,805 Forgot I had that in there. 231 00:11:15,365 --> 00:11:16,674 That were lucky. 232 00:11:17,865 --> 00:11:19,996 Naughty little grenade. Huh! 233 00:11:20,732 --> 00:11:23,726 Right, just the two boxes of the 9-mils then, is it? 234 00:11:23,737 --> 00:11:25,176 Thank you. 235 00:11:25,610 --> 00:11:26,708 Goodbye. 236 00:11:26,838 --> 00:11:29,556 Right, while I've got you, can I interest you in anything else? 237 00:11:29,583 --> 00:11:31,822 I've got a silencer. 238 00:11:32,105 --> 00:11:34,758 Er, I've got... an Uzi. 239 00:11:35,254 --> 00:11:36,465 I've got a mini Uzi. 240 00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:38,172 I've got um... 241 00:11:39,217 --> 00:11:40,979 Michelle Gordon's homework. 242 00:11:42,356 --> 00:11:43,424 Fuck. 243 00:11:43,905 --> 00:11:45,792 And the pi�ce de resistance: 244 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:48,774 - some weed brownies. - Oh, dealing drugs now as well, are you? 245 00:11:48,793 --> 00:11:51,572 You try keeping up with child support on a teacher's salary. 246 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,651 - I love brownies. - Might be nice. 247 00:11:53,827 --> 00:11:55,696 Help you chill the fuck out, Fran. 248 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,426 Er, I am actually super chilled. 249 00:11:57,445 --> 00:12:00,329 You spent most of the day harassing a climbing instructor. 250 00:12:03,747 --> 00:12:05,315 (WHISPERING) Did I harass the instructor? 251 00:12:05,387 --> 00:12:06,798 (WHISPERING) You were a bit persistent. 252 00:12:06,912 --> 00:12:10,068 Really sorry, but could you just get off my bed? I'm gonna sleep there. 253 00:12:10,116 --> 00:12:12,686 If that's all right, sorry. Thanks. 254 00:12:15,746 --> 00:12:17,701 There was Alison and Stella and they both left me. 255 00:12:17,725 --> 00:12:19,227 There was the florist who went off 256 00:12:19,298 --> 00:12:21,563 with the sperm that I had paid for. 257 00:12:21,596 --> 00:12:24,785 Joao is a nice Brazilian barista. I tried to take care of him. 258 00:12:24,804 --> 00:12:27,398 He moved in, claimed squatters' rights and evicted me. 259 00:12:27,417 --> 00:12:30,101 And now my credit card statement looks like RuPaul's wedding list. 260 00:12:30,105 --> 00:12:32,607 Can anyone else see that magical wizard? 261 00:12:34,905 --> 00:12:36,431 It's a good bake. 262 00:12:36,822 --> 00:12:38,257 I feel nothing. 263 00:12:38,490 --> 00:12:41,231 My love-life's been pretty dormant since... 264 00:12:41,479 --> 00:12:42,943 since Aggie died. 265 00:12:43,038 --> 00:12:44,960 Oh, your partner's died? I'm so sorry. 266 00:12:44,988 --> 00:12:48,801 Yeah. (SIGHS) Right before her 90th birthday as well. 267 00:12:49,807 --> 00:12:51,961 - She were 90? - Yeah. 268 00:12:52,047 --> 00:12:53,739 I like a mature woman. 269 00:12:54,257 --> 00:12:55,865 Great memories with her though. 270 00:12:55,997 --> 00:12:57,780 I used to wheel her out into the sun 271 00:12:57,799 --> 00:12:59,778 and sometimes her eyes would open... 272 00:13:02,465 --> 00:13:05,465 - And? - No, that's it. Her eyes would open. 273 00:13:12,385 --> 00:13:14,588 (SNORING) 274 00:13:15,625 --> 00:13:17,625 (SNORING AND GRUNTING) 275 00:13:19,861 --> 00:13:21,520 Well, he's out cold. 276 00:13:24,310 --> 00:13:27,013 Hey, for what it's worth, 277 00:13:28,185 --> 00:13:30,185 I'm sorry about your divorce. 278 00:13:30,622 --> 00:13:32,104 That sucks. 279 00:13:32,557 --> 00:13:35,084 Yeah. It was just nice having somebody at the end of the phone, 280 00:13:35,103 --> 00:13:36,967 really, I think. 281 00:13:37,029 --> 00:13:40,028 Although, to be honest, Joao never answered my calls so... 282 00:13:42,193 --> 00:13:44,215 This job is pretty lonely. 283 00:13:44,944 --> 00:13:46,302 Honestly? 284 00:13:47,461 --> 00:13:50,097 Sometimes I feel like I'm just... 285 00:13:50,385 --> 00:13:52,895 one bad day away 286 00:13:53,010 --> 00:13:55,485 from doing something really crazy, like... 287 00:13:55,947 --> 00:13:57,663 blowing up a zoo. 288 00:13:58,265 --> 00:14:00,218 Or becoming a Christian. 289 00:14:00,809 --> 00:14:02,545 (MAN SNORES SOFTLY) 290 00:14:07,310 --> 00:14:08,774 Um... 291 00:14:09,346 --> 00:14:12,225 will you go for a drink with me? 292 00:14:15,545 --> 00:14:16,754 Sure? 293 00:14:17,536 --> 00:14:19,253 - Why not? - (MAN SNORES) 294 00:14:19,367 --> 00:14:21,102 - Really? - No! (LAUGHS) 295 00:14:21,112 --> 00:14:23,796 - Oh, fuck's sake. - Serious?! (SNORTS) 296 00:14:25,105 --> 00:14:27,333 Fran! I'm fucking with you. 297 00:14:27,429 --> 00:14:29,063 Of course I'll get that drink with you. 298 00:14:29,078 --> 00:14:33,145 Why do you have to be such a monumental dick... all the time? 299 00:14:33,168 --> 00:14:34,646 That's just my way. 300 00:14:35,545 --> 00:14:37,465 Let me give you my personal number. 301 00:14:38,069 --> 00:14:40,239 Oh, er... here. 302 00:14:42,385 --> 00:14:44,265 (MAN SNORES) 303 00:14:49,287 --> 00:14:52,657 Let me drop you a line sometime. 304 00:14:53,315 --> 00:14:55,225 (SNORING CONTINUES) 305 00:14:59,425 --> 00:15:01,705 - (GRUNTS SLEEPILY) - Oh, er, fuck. 306 00:15:01,739 --> 00:15:03,216 - Right. I've gotta go. - Big day tomorrow! 307 00:15:03,221 --> 00:15:04,585 - Yeah. - (CLEARS THROAT) 308 00:15:04,625 --> 00:15:06,745 (BIRDSONG) 309 00:15:06,825 --> 00:15:08,785 (MOBILE BUZZES) 310 00:15:13,985 --> 00:15:15,526 (GROANS) 311 00:15:19,385 --> 00:15:20,842 (WHISPERING): Jamie. 312 00:15:22,145 --> 00:15:24,928 Mr K. Hi. 313 00:15:25,395 --> 00:15:29,185 Yeah, no, we are... we are just approaching the target right now. 314 00:15:33,185 --> 00:15:35,196 (SOFTLY) Jamie. Jamie! 315 00:15:35,244 --> 00:15:36,728 Liz and Charles have gone! 316 00:15:36,751 --> 00:15:39,130 - (GRUNTS) What? - Mr K, hi, er... Uh, i... u... 317 00:15:39,145 --> 00:15:42,145 I'm so sorry. I just... (IMITATES DISTORTED SPEECH) 318 00:15:42,225 --> 00:15:43,865 ... eaking up. 319 00:15:43,945 --> 00:15:45,985 They are nicking our job. They're nicking our job. 320 00:15:46,095 --> 00:15:48,212 (MUMBLES) Liz and Charles 321 00:15:48,265 --> 00:15:50,705 don't actually know the address so it doesn't... 322 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,732 This is my fault. She asked for my phone 323 00:15:53,741 --> 00:15:55,672 and I gave it to her because I thought she meant it. 324 00:15:55,696 --> 00:15:58,756 She said she was putting her personal number in it and she lied. 325 00:15:58,775 --> 00:16:02,107 - She was getting the location. - Liz gave you her personal number. 326 00:16:02,145 --> 00:16:05,520 - Nice one, Fran. - Yeah, um... now's not the time, Jamie. 327 00:16:06,044 --> 00:16:07,456 What time is it? 328 00:16:09,105 --> 00:16:11,225 - Mate, I need to borrow your car. I... - What?! 329 00:16:11,408 --> 00:16:13,725 I've got Ofsted. You're not having the car. 330 00:16:13,753 --> 00:16:17,329 - It is gonna happen and Ofsted's pointless. - Not a chance. No way am... 331 00:16:19,722 --> 00:16:21,157 Nice one, Fran. 332 00:16:21,238 --> 00:16:23,483 Again, I will leave you hanging. We don't have time. 333 00:16:30,785 --> 00:16:33,594 Blimey. Is this where she's holed up? 334 00:16:35,665 --> 00:16:37,240 Something's not right. 335 00:16:39,145 --> 00:16:41,145 Probably best sleep that off, mate. 336 00:16:42,813 --> 00:16:44,501 Someone's trashed their van. 337 00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:47,772 - Try phoning them. - I don't have any reception. 338 00:17:01,265 --> 00:17:03,265 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) 339 00:17:08,185 --> 00:17:10,705 (SINISTER MUSIC) 340 00:17:11,345 --> 00:17:13,025 (EERIE LAUGHTER) 341 00:17:15,565 --> 00:17:17,124 - (DISTANT SHRIEKING) - What's that? 342 00:17:20,585 --> 00:17:22,916 Ssh. Keep it down. 343 00:17:22,945 --> 00:17:24,625 (CLATTERING) 344 00:17:43,881 --> 00:17:48,024 Wow. Those weed brownies have hit Liz and Charles pretty hard. 345 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:51,104 (WHISPERING) I don't think this dolly tea party was their idea. 346 00:17:51,128 --> 00:17:52,496 (WHISPERING) Annie's off her rocker. 347 00:17:52,945 --> 00:17:55,169 - Just keep your eyes peeled. - (MOUTHS) 348 00:17:55,945 --> 00:17:57,625 Coo-ee! 349 00:18:08,784 --> 00:18:11,182 Here you go, poppet. It's boiling. 350 00:18:11,211 --> 00:18:12,965 - Drink up. - It's boiling. It's boiling! 351 00:18:12,985 --> 00:18:15,754 Don't be silly. Watch Mummy. 352 00:18:19,458 --> 00:18:21,694 (SLURPS AND GULPS) 353 00:18:26,305 --> 00:18:28,305 (GULPS) 354 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,652 Ahhh! 355 00:18:31,265 --> 00:18:32,905 Now then, who's for more cake? 356 00:18:34,352 --> 00:18:36,883 - I said who's for more cake! - Oh, yeah. Love some. 357 00:18:36,902 --> 00:18:38,625 - 100%. - Maybe lemon drizzle. 358 00:18:39,534 --> 00:18:42,151 I hate to be difficult but have you got a gluten-free option? 359 00:18:42,161 --> 00:18:43,745 - My stomach is... - (THUD) 360 00:18:48,744 --> 00:18:50,570 Awesome job rescuing us (!) 361 00:18:50,718 --> 00:18:52,345 Don't know what we'd do without you. 362 00:18:52,383 --> 00:18:53,560 If you hadn't double crossed us 363 00:18:53,579 --> 00:18:55,706 - we wouldn't be in this mess. - Ssh. 364 00:18:59,433 --> 00:19:02,313 You pretended to like me just so you could get the hit. 365 00:19:02,351 --> 00:19:04,196 Don't cry, you'll ruin your make-up. 366 00:19:04,205 --> 00:19:06,208 I think I've shat myself. It's the gluten. 367 00:19:06,236 --> 00:19:08,234 - I said shut up! - (PLATE SHATTERS) 368 00:19:08,539 --> 00:19:12,562 This always happens. Dollies never do what Mummy says. 369 00:19:17,815 --> 00:19:20,409 I'll just have to fix you all, won't I? 370 00:19:21,185 --> 00:19:23,145 (ELECTRICAL WHIRRING) 371 00:19:23,225 --> 00:19:25,105 (ALL SCREAM) 372 00:19:26,305 --> 00:19:27,912 Please, I beg you! 373 00:19:28,184 --> 00:19:30,048 - Please, please! - (MAN CLEARS THROAT) 374 00:19:31,465 --> 00:19:33,322 I'm so sorry to disturb you. 375 00:19:33,337 --> 00:19:35,925 If I could just grab my car keys then I'll be on my way. 376 00:19:41,105 --> 00:19:43,925 (ALL SCREAM) No, no, no! Please don't do it! 377 00:19:43,945 --> 00:19:46,419 - (EVIL GIGGLE) - Don't do it, please! (ALL SCREAM) 378 00:19:46,705 --> 00:19:48,536 - (DRILL STOPS) - Oh! 379 00:19:48,850 --> 00:19:51,563 Oh, dear. Battery must have died. 380 00:19:51,615 --> 00:19:52,836 Back in a tick. 381 00:19:52,883 --> 00:19:55,215 (ALL SIGH WITH RELIEF) 382 00:19:56,625 --> 00:19:58,585 Well, that's my career up in smoke. 383 00:19:58,923 --> 00:20:01,612 - Visitation rights as well. Thanks a lot. - Ooh! 384 00:20:01,665 --> 00:20:03,104 Found it. 385 00:20:03,429 --> 00:20:05,305 (CHUCKLES) 386 00:20:05,460 --> 00:20:08,215 For fuck's sake. One of us must have something we can use. 387 00:20:08,239 --> 00:20:11,047 Did I know I was coming to Satan's tea party? No. 388 00:20:12,305 --> 00:20:15,361 Oh, the grenade. It's still in my pocket from last night. 389 00:20:15,418 --> 00:20:16,768 Get it. 390 00:20:16,810 --> 00:20:18,803 I'm tied up. 391 00:20:25,497 --> 00:20:29,091 Will someone else pull the pin? My hand's tied to the fucking chair. 392 00:20:29,153 --> 00:20:32,023 - Fran's hard. She can pull it. - Grab it under your chin 393 00:20:32,042 --> 00:20:33,902 and pass it down the line as quick as you can. 394 00:20:33,925 --> 00:20:36,433 Like pass the orange. I love pass the orange. 395 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,025 Oh. 396 00:20:56,025 --> 00:20:57,299 Fran. 397 00:20:57,542 --> 00:20:58,791 Yeah? 398 00:20:58,805 --> 00:21:00,469 You can use your hands. 399 00:21:01,713 --> 00:21:03,401 I did know that. 400 00:21:05,545 --> 00:21:07,243 (PIN CLICKS SOFTLY) 401 00:21:09,585 --> 00:21:12,240 - (GRENADE CLATTERS) - Oh, shit. Where's it gone? 402 00:21:12,265 --> 00:21:14,357 (ALL MUTTER SOFTLY) Over here. 403 00:21:16,126 --> 00:21:18,195 I've got it. I've got it. 404 00:21:19,905 --> 00:21:21,518 Now! 405 00:21:22,105 --> 00:21:24,745 (ALL YELL) 406 00:21:28,146 --> 00:21:29,490 (SILENCE) 407 00:21:29,628 --> 00:21:31,850 - Ar... - (EXPLOSION) 408 00:21:38,275 --> 00:21:39,834 (GRUNTS WITH EFFORT) 409 00:21:40,010 --> 00:21:42,051 OK, that's Mummy all bagged up. 410 00:21:42,305 --> 00:21:44,949 Shame really. If she wasn't a sociopath, 411 00:21:44,968 --> 00:21:47,425 she would actually be really lovely, you know? 412 00:21:47,718 --> 00:21:49,520 Look, Charles and I, 413 00:21:49,545 --> 00:21:52,225 we appreciate you guys helping us out. 414 00:21:52,609 --> 00:21:55,375 - We know you didn't have to do that. - Yeah, well, listen, I... 415 00:21:55,784 --> 00:21:57,997 I know you'd have done the same for us, so... 416 00:21:58,054 --> 00:21:59,609 100%. You know what? 417 00:21:59,633 --> 00:22:02,793 Come on, bring it in, guys. No? OK, no worries. 418 00:22:04,542 --> 00:22:08,337 - We should probably pack this lot up. - Hey, you've done enough. 419 00:22:08,785 --> 00:22:10,653 We'll pack. You drive. 420 00:22:10,705 --> 00:22:12,398 - Andale! - Yep. 421 00:22:13,585 --> 00:22:15,585 Thanks again, guys. Keep in touch. 422 00:22:19,665 --> 00:22:22,280 - I mean, I know we complain a lot about them... - Hm. 423 00:22:22,323 --> 00:22:24,382 ... but they're actually all right. 424 00:22:24,664 --> 00:22:27,109 You had it right all along and I didn't believe you. 425 00:22:27,133 --> 00:22:29,045 But actually they're decent. 426 00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:31,291 - Do you think they could be... - (ENGINE STARTS) 427 00:22:31,362 --> 00:22:34,020 Unbe-fucking-lievable. 428 00:22:35,190 --> 00:22:38,912 I'll let Mr K know Charles and I got the job done. 429 00:22:38,945 --> 00:22:41,686 - (ENGINE REVS) - Nothing personal, just business. 430 00:22:41,705 --> 00:22:45,119 - Let me know about that drink, Fran! - (ENGINE REVS) 431 00:22:48,085 --> 00:22:49,772 Sure, yeah. 432 00:22:51,074 --> 00:22:53,543 Kids, jobs, car. 433 00:22:53,601 --> 00:22:55,445 Would you like my clothes as well? 434 00:22:57,009 --> 00:22:59,070 Yep. If it gets cold on the walk 435 00:22:59,093 --> 00:23:00,436 I might just take them. 436 00:23:01,450 --> 00:23:02,568 Phone an Uber. 437 00:23:02,595 --> 00:23:04,596 - There's no reception. - Oh, there's no reception. 438 00:23:05,531 --> 00:23:08,345 I'm starving. Can we at least order a pizza or something? 439 00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:10,988 - Again, no reception. - Not even a small one? 440 00:23:11,095 --> 00:23:13,143 The size of the pizza is not the issue. 441 00:23:13,346 --> 00:23:18,178 442 00:23:18,216 --> 00:23:21,858 - Do we really need another person? - It's a big job today. 443 00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:23,796 And Nikhil is supposed to be the best. 444 00:23:27,020 --> 00:23:29,640 Mr K tell me choose new partner. 445 00:23:29,793 --> 00:23:31,025 I choose you. 446 00:23:36,987 --> 00:23:41,403 Final warning. I am big, scary man with mullet and muscles... 447 00:23:41,903 --> 00:23:44,830 - Hey! - Please! I have a really delicate trachea! 448 00:23:51,098 --> 00:23:52,433 Mr. K. 449 00:23:56,743 --> 00:23:58,526 I'm really sorry, Jamie. 450 00:23:58,576 --> 00:24:03,126 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33778

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.