Original subtitles

[ Techno music plays ]

Woman: Take it off!

Oh, ladies, get a look at that banana hammock!

Truly the sleepiest banana in the biz.

Let's wake it up.

I'm talking about boneeeeers, ladies!

How many times do I have to say this?

Stripping isn't about taking off your clothes.

It's about...

All: "Making a connection."

If you want to do this for decades,

you can't just knick-knack-paddywhack

show a girl your bone.

Woman: [ Shouting ] Show us your whole penis!

Trust me. You got to work the craft.

Turn ladies on, but make 'em feel safe.

Could you sew this for me.

[ Laughing ] Whoop. Okay, Todd. Put it away!

Just leave it by my station.

Jesse, could youcover my shift Tuesday?

Of course.

I'll take all the stage time I can get

before the World Series of Strip.

Oh. You're gonna compete in that?

Yep. If I win,

I'll finally have enough money to open my club --

Gentleman Jesse's, where exoticdancing can be what it once was,

an art form.

Not stripping, but a place for...

chivalric cabaret.

Deejay: If all y'all ladies like them big dicks,

let me hear you scream!

[ Women cheering ]That's my cue!

Next up, a nice man who helps out a lot around here.

Bear with us, ladies, for...Jesse.

Why does he always say that?

[ Women cheering ]

[ Low-tempo music plays ]

Woman: Whoo! Take something off!

[ Fading cheers ]

♪♪

Show me that disco stick, cowboy.

How about I show you my soul?

Woman: I'm getting less horny!

[ Booing ][ Grunts ]

Chivalric cabaret!

I'm okay. The dance will resume.

Just need to catch my breath. [ Coughs ]

Oop, oh, that's a piece of my spine, alright.

♪♪

I got to go.

[ Grunting ]

Got it.

What are you doing in my alcove?

Dug up the old NordicTrack.

Getting back into fighting shape.

[ Banging ]

Well, so much for that.

But don't leave it in my alcove.

This is the only private space in my viciously public life.

[ Slurred ] You brokemy NordicTrack!

Hey, everyone.What happened?

Well, looks like ol' Jesse's paralyzed.

Oh, Jesse?

So now your stripper character,

who won't take off his clothes,won't walk either?

Can't walk, Steve.

Ooh.

You should take him outin a field and shoot him.

I'd put on shoes to see that.

Where was all this enthusiasm when Jesse

[sniffles] could still dance?

No matter. Jesse's used to

having the world against him.

That's why I'll never give up on him

or his dream of opening his own club.

Oh! You couldclub him to death!

Uh, no.

Instead, I'm applying for a business loan.

Just need my blueprints, a ride in a van,

and one of you to carry my wheelchair ramp.

A van, you say?

[ Chuckles ] We've got

just the person to help you out.

Yeah.

What these guysare saying.

[ Whispering ]You're not throwing me

under the bus, are you?

[ Quietly ] No, Jeff.

Oh, Jeff. Good!

Yeah, screw Jeff. Who likes Jeff?

Mom.

Do you like the outside ofthings or the inside of things?

I like insides.

Well, then,do I have a treat for you.

I need 18 grand for an exotic dance club.

Strip clubsare great investments.

It's called Gentleman Jesse's,

and it will be a place with only classic stripping.

Clothes stay on. But it's so much more.

Picture it -- Florida.

You're in Port St. Lucie for Mets spring training.

You leave a game, you're cruising the boardwalk

feeling good, eating smoked fish dip,

but where are you going for male dancing? Nowhere.

Did you say "clothes stay on"?

And how! There's dancing, singing,

dinner done tableside.

Steak Dianes for $5.99, the way it should be.

[ Loud thud ][ Gasps ]

Free valet.Antique phones everywhere,

inspired by the old phone cafes of yesteryear.

We have a summer movie series on the rooftop.

Apartments upstairs where guys can board

until they get settled!

Normally there would be music here.

What I'm saying is...

the word "strip" comes from "stropen -- to plunder."

And we've plundered our innocence.

But Gentleman Jesse's is a placewe ache to go back to,

a place where we know we're loved, a place to call yours.

Are you talking aboutchivalric cabaret?

Why, they warn us against that

on the first day of banker school!

Get out!

Dolores!Send in my next appointment!

It better be good!

Clear out.

I want to open a gym.

Oh, yeah!

The big bills, Dolores.

The big bills!

♪♪

Hey, Steve. Aah!

Why are you in here?

Were you going throughmy stuff?

A bit, but mainly I'm here about my alcove.

My space is totally disrespected.

Now, I found an unused doghouse in the woods,

and [inhales] would you grant me

a small plot in your room where I can put it?

Ugh, I don't know, Klaus.

Please?

[ Sighs ]

Okay, okay, fine.

Really?!

Yeah.Put it in the corner.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Jurgen, he said yes!

Jurgen: Yeah!

[ Back-up alarm beeping ]

This dog house is made of plastic.

Why did Jurgen have touse that crane?

Look, I can literally lift itwith one hand.

I'm sorry that didn't go well, Jesse.

I can't dance.

I don't have the money to open my club.

And that man laughed at me.

They say no one can make you feel inferior

without your consent.

Well, I consent! I consent!

And now this?

[ Cocks gun ]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

I can fix it.

Better keep a few feet back

while the car is jacked up, to be safe.

How chivalrous of you.

I'll just keep this up herein case something goes wrong.

[ Sensual music plays ]

Don't want to get oil on my hands.

♪♪

[ Grunts ]

[ Moans ]

♪♪

[ Moans ]

♪♪

What talent.

He can be my protégé.

He can dance atthe World Series of Strip.

He can win the prize money.

He can give the moneyto me!

I know how I'm gonnaopen the club!

How? Through you!

You'll be the one to helpbring my dream to life.

You want me to help you with your dream?

I'd be so honored!

[ Screams ]Oh, my God!

I forgot I was holding that thing!

Oh, boy.

Oh, that was intense.

[ Chuckles ]Caught me off guard.

Whew. Okay, okay.

It's okay. We're okay.

Bring it in, buddy.

Okay,now fix the tire again.

[ Women cheering ]

Well, Jeff, a lot's happened

since that bank parking lot.

You began learningmy classical stripping form.

We picked 10 amateur events to compete in

so we can qualify forthe World Series of Strip,

and Linda Memari passed away.

Deejay: You ladies ready for more men?!

[ Women cheering ]Okay, Jeff,this is the first step

toward winning the money to open Gentlemen Jesse's.

Just go out and make a...

Connection. Yes.

You ready? Connection.

You are in the zone right now!

Confection.

Huh? What?

Next up...Jeff!

[ Applause ]

[ The Moody Blues' "Nights in White Satin" plays ]

♪♪

♪ Nights in white satin

He's connecting!

Now I understand what he meant when he said "confection."

A sweet connection. The kid's a natural!

Is he too good? Is he outshining me?

Do I need to take him down?

[ Cocks gun ]

No. He's the one. [ Uncocks gun ]

The one to make chivalric cabaret huge again.

And these Oklahoma women in denim shorts

are the perfect audience.

[ Women booing, hissing ]

Did I do something wrong?

No, Jeff. Ramp.

It's these times we live in.

Men used to lie on their bonerstill they went away.

Now they'repointing them around,

giving directions with them.

So you're saying I should

take off all my clothes like the other guys.

Huh? No, I'm saying we shouldtrust the process.

We make a few tweaks,lean more on the glove work,

and people will catch on soon.

[ Women booing, hissing ]Perverts! Ramp.

[ Women booing, hissing ]Hicks! Ramp.

You no-good, mouth-breathing -- ramp, Jeff!

Ramp!

[ Crickets chirping ]

He did what?!

Bro, friends don't do thingslike that.

[ Sighs ] He's toxic.

You should cut him out of your life.

Alright. Talk later, Toshi.

Boy, what a day.

Yeah, listen, I got a chapter of pre-calc left, so --

I hear that. I'm just gonna

do a spliff and play Rock Band.

I'll put the headphones onso you won't hear a thing.

[ Lighter flicks, paper burns ]

[ Moaning ]

The vector "r" has magnitude "5", and direction angle --

[ Tapping ] Klaus?

[ Sighs ] The vector "r" has magnitude --

One and two and one and two.

Klaus? Three and one, again, again --

Klaus, please!

[ Scatting ] Klaus?!

For the love of God, will you shut up?!

Steve, please.I need to concentrate.

I'm trying to play"Hot For Teacher" on expert.

[ Lighter flicks, paper burns ]

[ Moaning ]

[ Smoke detector beeps ]

♪♪

Should I have told Haleyabout this?

What? Sorry, I -- I just --

I just had, like, the most incredible idea

for Gentleman Jesse's.What is it?

I'm thinking the name should have two J's.

I could see that!

And what if the sign had,like, a dolphin on it?

Oh, my God, that's perfect.

Really? You think so?

That looks amazing!It should.

It's the finished design.

Building on that,I have another idea.

What if we threw a few actualstripper moves in my routine?

You know,so we don't get booed

all the timeand turned down for loans.

Oh, that's a great idea, Jeff.

We should dumb down and dirty up our routine.

Oh, and going off that,

why don't we just 69 anyone who buys two drinks?

[ Grunting ]

Get over here and flip this table for me, you sleaze ball!

[ Sighs ]

He's got this vision of stripping,

but I just don't think people want to see it.

And I know he's paralyzed -- well, 90% sure.

It's tough to tell what's real with him sometimes.

Hey, schmuck face.

Your credit card was declined.

If you don't come up with somecash quick, you're out of here.

[ Yelps ]

Hold this.

♪ People walk in,and then they walk out ♪

♪ Guess that's what motels are about ♪

[ Loud bass ]

I'd like to try stripping.

Absolutely. Right this way.

[ Electronic music plays ]

[ Women cheering ]

♪♪

[ Women booing ]

[ Women cheering ]

[ Women cheering ]

♪♪

[ Laughter, cheering ]

♪♪

[ Crickets chirping ]

Uh, what --what are you doing in here?

Klaus doesn't let me smoke inside.

Shoshanna!

Are we gonna watch this porn or what?

Oh, Steve. I see you met my girl.

I didn't know you were going tobe having visitors over.

We'll get out of your hair.

So what do you think of Steve?

I don't like him.

$268 million Super Lotto winner?

Me?

[ Gasps ] Oh, thank God!

It was just a dream.

Jeff?

[ Women cheering ]

♪♪

[ Women chanting "Jeff" ]Jeff?! Jeff?!

Jeff?! Jeff?!

I'm looking for Jeff!

I hear his name being chanted.

Maybe he came for extra rehearsal

and the crowd is finally starting to understand

what we're trying to do.

[ Gasps ]

I want my face in this guy's --

Taint! You've tainted yourself!

I thought I was helping.

I got us all this money.

Money?!

You thought this was about money!

Money?! Ha!

Where is your precious money now, you hack?!

I am not a hack!

Everything I've donehas been for your idea

that everyone else thinks is stupid!

Not everyone!

Not...Stan.

Stan? Why would you say him first?!

Doesn't matter. You don't matter.

I'll find a new protégé to win the World Series of Strip

and open Gentleman Jesse's myself!

Well, I have the opposite plan.

I'll win,and I'll keep the money.

You're on! And that's not exactly the opposite plan!

Well,it's a little different!

I'll show you different!

Pretty different, right?

Yeah. Exactly.

Next time you want to call something different,

think about whether it passes the hat test.

You seem so stupid to me right now.

Welcome tothe World Series of Strip.

I just need your name to check in.

Oops. Butterfingers.[ Chuckles ]

Allow me.

Kermit the Hog.

[ Pops ]

Uh...

Oh, so you're not going to drop the pen for me?

Drop it.

Allow me.

[ Grunts ]

Hello, Jeffrey.

How awkward for you catching me

in the middle of seducing this woman.

Hey, Roger.

Can I help you up?

You wish. You've been replaced.

I have a new protégé,

ready to perform and win tonight.

Honestly, it's been pure magic

seeing him soak up my craft with such passion.

Hey, Jesse, so I'm gonna quit.

What?! Nate, why?!

Finally got the callfrom the big show --

Enterprise Rental Car.

Front desk.Greenville, North Carolina.

I hope we haven't shaken your confidence too much.

[ Klaus screaming, glass breaking ]

Klaus: I feel like you'rejust with me for my house!

I'm 40 years old!

I want a man who can provide!

Someone call in a noise complaint?

They think you're a bum!Yes! Right there!

They've been at it all night long!

So you've been hanging outon their lawn all night?

It's not their lawn, it's my room!

Aggression!

[ Screams ]

[ Both panting ]

Great instincts.

Let's book him.

♪♪

You got a nice side-to-side,J Dog.

But what I like to do is[grunts loudly]

And then, [grunts loudly]

And it's fun to dothe [grunts loudly] right?

Roger: What do you mean I can't complete?!

I don't need to use the pole!

All I need to turn a woman on

are these two peepersand a bolt of lace!

Okay. Out we go.

[ Scoffs ] That weirdo's dream

is to open a strip club whereyou don't even show your balls.

We got way better dreams.

Clint, say yours.

A Kawasaki.

Yeah!Yeah! Yeah!

And what's yours, Brigham?

Oh, just,like, feelin' good

all the timeand never feelin' pain,

never gettin' sad.

Oh, yeah.[ Chuckles ] Oh, yeah.

Wow, you guys have amazing dreams.

What's your dream,Jeff?

Mine?

I guess I... never really had one.

[ Chuckles ] You should get one.

They're totally awesome.

Kawasaki!

[ Imitating motorcycles ]

Vrooom!

Let's hear it for the mysterious sexy mouse!

[ Cheers and applause ]Who is it?! Why is he doing this?!

Next up, let's hear it for Jeff!

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Sultry techno plays ]

Boo! Boo!

Sir, you have to show thesebig-dicked dancers some respect.

Why? They never showed me any respect!

Boo! Boo!

That's it. You're out of here.

[ Whines ]

♪♪

Deejay: Hmm, off to a slow start.

Could be a little delaaayed gratifica-tionnn.

Maybe I do have a dream. Jesse's dream.

♪ I've seen you shine so bright ♪

What?

♪ Mm-hmm What's this?

I feel so seduced, yet so...safe.

♪ I've never seen so many menask you if you wanted to dance ♪

Woman: Let's go, take something off!

I don't think they like it.

You shouldn't do this here.♪ Given half a chance

Then let's go somewhere else.

Connectionnnnn...

♪ Or the highlights in your hairthat catch your eyes ♪

♪ I have been blind

♪ The lady in red

♪ Is dancing with me

♪ Cheek to cheek

♪ There's nobody here

Stan! You made it!

No place I'd rather be.

Jesse, I only have one suggestion.

What's that?Never close this place.

Oh, stop!

[ Laughs ] You stop!

You're too much.

No, stop now!

You are ruining this! Just stop it!

[ Audience boos ]

Jeff, what happened back there?

I just wanted to say thanks.

Well, you're welcome, of course,but what for, exactly?

For letting me be part of your dream.

I've never had one.

And I'd rather see yours through,

no matter how dumb it is,

and it is dumb,than never dream at all.

That means a lot, Jeff.

Even though it felt like an insult.

I guess we aren't gettingthat prize money.

Not likely, but ol' Jesse

might have one crazy idea left.

And they threw things and shouted!

And that stage most certainly was not wheelchair accessible,

which is a law!

And I want a buncha money!

I'll give you 50 bucks to piss off.

Deal! Hot dog!

What the hell? You can walk?

Roger: Hell yeah!

Get the 50 bucks from that dipshit

and meet me at "The Golden Girls"

slots by the bottom of the stairs.

Aah![ Thudding down stairs ]

Ooh! Nngh! Ow! Aah! Ow! Ah! Ahh! Nngh!

[ Groans ]

Oh, God, I can't walk.

This is for real.

Is that wonderful man still giving out money?

And please tell me you didn't throw out the ramp.

Oh, thank God. Thank sweet heavenly --

No! No!

You can't take my --Shh.

It's already done, it's already done.

Please, eat.

Steve! I see you've met Gevorg!

Bye-bye! See you soon!