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1
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:04,938
Here we are.
(grunts)
2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,573
I keep all of my correspondences
3
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:10,143
from the past seven and a half
centuries in this box.
4
00:00:10,210 --> 00:00:12,979
I used to get so many letters.
5
00:00:13,046 --> 00:00:14,314
Who's it gonna be?
6
00:00:14,380 --> 00:00:16,016
From my mom and dad
7
00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:19,586
when I was away training with
the Al Quolanudarian forces.
8
00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:21,154
"Dear Nandor,
9
00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:24,758
we hope that the rocks there
are not too hard."
10
00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:28,795
At training camp,
we would use rocks as pillows.
11
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,597
And blankets.
12
00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:33,500
This one is a letter
from the leader of an army
13
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:36,436
that we defeated
with particular brutality.
14
00:00:36,503 --> 00:00:38,438
Tens of thousands
were slaughtered.
15
00:00:38,505 --> 00:00:41,074
I guess I never had
a chance to open it.
16
00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:43,777
"I resign myself to surrender.
17
00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:47,080
I plead for a road to peace."
18
00:00:47,914 --> 00:00:49,149
Oops.
19
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:51,384
Oh, this one is good.
20
00:00:51,451 --> 00:00:54,354
An anonymous friend
sent me a token
21
00:00:54,420 --> 00:00:58,191
for a free scoop
at Baskin and Robbins.
22
00:00:58,258 --> 00:01:02,763
I can't eat ice cream,
but it meant a lot.
23
00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:04,598
I have asked Guillermo
24
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,800
to bring me
his computing machine
25
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:09,803
so I can see if I have received
any electronic letters
26
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:12,205
‐in the past decade.
‐GUILLERMO: Okay.
27
00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:14,240
‐All right.
‐Ah, yes.
28
00:01:14,307 --> 00:01:16,042
GUILLERMO:
Connect this...
29
00:01:16,109 --> 00:01:18,478
All right, there you go.
30
00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:25,519
It's connected
to this Ethernet cable.
31
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,954
Yes, I know how
the ether works, Guillermo.
32
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:30,991
‐No, Ethernet.
‐Give me this.
33
00:01:31,057 --> 00:01:32,626
(error chime)
34
00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:36,329
(error chime continues)
35
00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:38,999
Okay. Well, if that's it,
36
00:01:39,065 --> 00:01:41,234
I'm gonna head out, 'cause I
have a couple of errands to run.
37
00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:43,570
‐Okay, then, bye‐bye.
‐Bye‐bye.
38
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:46,372
Oh, uh, I got some blood
on my fancy collar,
39
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,074
so if could you get me
one of those...
40
00:01:48,141 --> 00:01:49,409
‐Tide to go pens?
‐...soapy pens
41
00:01:49,475 --> 00:01:51,177
‐you can use on clothing.
‐Tide to go pens.
42
00:01:51,244 --> 00:01:52,478
The Tide pen.
43
00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:54,981
‐The "to go" variety.
‐To go.
44
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:57,718
There's money in the dish
on the table in my room.
45
00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:58,852
The money dish.
46
00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:00,453
Uh, it's gone black.
47
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:02,723
No, no, it's just asleep.
48
00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:06,693
Arise. Arise!
49
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:10,731
What is "arise," again?
Control‐alt‐seven?
50
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,866
("You're Dead"
by Norma Tanega playing)
51
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:15,468
♪♪ Don't sing if you want
to live long ♪♪
52
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,871
♪♪ They have no use
for your song ♪♪
53
00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:20,641
♪♪ You're dead, you're dead,
you're dead ♪♪
54
00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:23,343
♪♪ You're dead
and out of this world ♪♪
55
00:02:25,011 --> 00:02:28,014
♪♪ Now your hope and compassion
is gone ♪♪
56
00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:30,817
♪♪ You sold out your dream
to the world ♪♪
57
00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:33,119
♪♪ Stay dead, stay dead,
stay dead ♪♪
58
00:02:33,186 --> 00:02:37,824
♪♪ You're dead
and out of this world. ♪♪
59
00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:40,393
♪♪ ♪♪
60
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,433
CLAUDE:
What if it's a little
old lady vampire?
61
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,570
‐KIDS: Kill.
‐What if it's a little
baby vampire?
62
00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:51,572
‐KIDS: Kill.
‐Oh, look here.
63
00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:54,474
Guillermo, you ready
to slay some Suckers?
64
00:02:54,541 --> 00:02:57,644
Uh... I brought
some wooden stakes
65
00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:59,580
‐that I had at home
so we can practice...
‐TONYA: Nice.
66
00:02:59,646 --> 00:03:02,979
‐...slaying some Suckers.
‐CLAUDE: Right on.
67
00:03:03,045 --> 00:03:04,680
GUILLERMO:
I've decided
68
00:03:04,746 --> 00:03:06,548
(whispers):
to infiltrate the group
69
00:03:06,615 --> 00:03:09,885
and sabotage
whatever plans they have.
70
00:03:09,952 --> 00:03:11,921
'Cause I would never forgive
myself if something happened
71
00:03:11,988 --> 00:03:14,156
to Nandor, Nadja or Laszlo.
72
00:03:14,223 --> 00:03:16,325
But I don't think I have to be
worried too much with this...
73
00:03:16,392 --> 00:03:18,660
CLAUDE:
Stab it, stab it like this!
Gotta kill it.
74
00:03:18,727 --> 00:03:20,562
Glad you brought
your camera crew, too.
75
00:03:20,629 --> 00:03:22,064
Helps get the word out.
76
00:03:22,131 --> 00:03:24,400
For too long,
these vampires have gotten away
77
00:03:24,466 --> 00:03:27,403
with treating humans
like either dinner or dirt.
78
00:03:27,469 --> 00:03:29,371
You know, every relationship
has its ebbs and flows.
79
00:03:29,438 --> 00:03:30,940
Ooh! I'm feeling good.
80
00:03:31,007 --> 00:03:32,341
‐DEREK: Yeah. Yes.
‐You feeling good?
81
00:03:32,408 --> 00:03:34,876
‐I feel good.
‐Hell yeah.
‐Yeah.
82
00:03:34,944 --> 00:03:36,645
You guys are pumped
for training.
83
00:03:36,712 --> 00:03:38,347
CLAUDE:
Training? Nah. Training's over.
84
00:03:38,414 --> 00:03:42,318
‐What‐what's going on?
‐Our first official hunt.
85
00:03:44,086 --> 00:03:45,121
I'm sorry, what?
86
00:03:48,257 --> 00:03:52,194
Oh, uh‐‐ No, I thought
we were just going to,
87
00:03:52,261 --> 00:03:54,130
‐uh, practice today...
‐No, no, no.
88
00:03:54,196 --> 00:03:56,798
We finally have a real target.
Shanice, fill him in.
89
00:03:56,865 --> 00:03:58,767
You know my roommate
who was turned into a vampire?
90
00:03:58,834 --> 00:04:00,002
Well, I think I figured out
91
00:04:00,069 --> 00:04:01,337
where the ones
who turned her live.
92
00:04:01,403 --> 00:04:04,840
It's a house right here
in Staten Island.
93
00:04:04,907 --> 00:04:06,175
It's a very
spooky‐looking place.
94
00:04:06,242 --> 00:04:09,411
No one goes in or out
during the day.
95
00:04:09,478 --> 00:04:10,679
No cars are parked out front.
96
00:04:10,746 --> 00:04:13,715
And there a lot of bats.
97
00:04:13,782 --> 00:04:15,884
Plus, there are
these very strange
98
00:04:15,952 --> 00:04:19,688
tr‐‐ tr‐‐tenopinaries.
Tipperaries?
99
00:04:19,755 --> 00:04:22,058
‐Chilip‐‐ Tilopirar...
‐Topiary.
100
00:04:22,124 --> 00:04:23,825
These hedges
out in the front yard.
101
00:04:23,893 --> 00:04:27,029
Do, uh, any of these hedges
look like...
102
00:04:28,230 --> 00:04:29,665
...vaginas?
103
00:04:29,731 --> 00:04:31,033
(stifled laugh)
My man.
104
00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:32,234
SHANICE:
I mean, I guess
105
00:04:32,301 --> 00:04:34,370
some of them
are of the adult nature.
106
00:04:34,436 --> 00:04:36,973
I think I know what house
you're talking about.
107
00:04:37,039 --> 00:04:39,108
They're normal human beings.
They're not vampires.
108
00:04:39,175 --> 00:04:40,876
They're, like, teachers
or social workers, actually.
109
00:04:40,943 --> 00:04:43,579
‐We are going there tonight.
‐Yes!
110
00:04:43,645 --> 00:04:46,148
No! We shouldn't go tonight.
111
00:04:46,215 --> 00:04:48,484
This is my second meeting.
I thought we were gonna just‐‐
112
00:04:48,550 --> 00:04:50,052
ha‐‐ practice.
113
00:04:50,119 --> 00:04:51,420
I could go another round
at that crossbow.
114
00:04:51,487 --> 00:04:52,854
And I know that Derek
mentioned something.
115
00:04:52,922 --> 00:04:54,256
You could go
another round, right?
116
00:04:54,323 --> 00:04:55,824
‐No, I'm good.
‐I'm pretty sure you said it.
117
00:04:55,892 --> 00:04:56,993
No, we've never
talked outside of this.
118
00:04:57,059 --> 00:04:58,127
Okay, well, he doesn't remember.
119
00:04:58,194 --> 00:05:01,397
‐Gear up. Let's ride.
‐Yes.
120
00:05:01,463 --> 00:05:03,565
TONYA:
All right, guys.
We have enough for, like,
121
00:05:03,632 --> 00:05:05,334
two holy waters per person.
122
00:05:05,401 --> 00:05:06,936
(hyperventilating)
123
00:05:07,003 --> 00:05:09,805
Breathing exercises.
I like it, Guillermo.
124
00:05:11,073 --> 00:05:13,809
I'm going to check my Hotmail.
125
00:05:13,875 --> 00:05:15,411
Password?
126
00:05:15,477 --> 00:05:18,214
Uh... What is my password?
127
00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:21,417
A secure, alphanumeric one,
I hope.
128
00:05:21,483 --> 00:05:24,921
People think that just varying
the case and adding a number
129
00:05:24,987 --> 00:05:28,357
is enough to keep
would‐be hackers at bay,
130
00:05:28,424 --> 00:05:29,391
but the truth is,
131
00:05:29,458 --> 00:05:31,393
that's just the floor,
not the ceiling.
132
00:05:31,460 --> 00:05:34,796
I have a very secure password,
okay, Colin Robinson?
133
00:05:34,863 --> 00:05:36,966
My password
is an impenetrable fortress.
134
00:05:37,033 --> 00:05:41,503
That's it.
"Impenetrable fortress."
135
00:05:41,570 --> 00:05:43,805
I have two e‐mail messages.
136
00:05:43,872 --> 00:05:47,143
"Fandango.com presents
an advanced screening
137
00:05:47,209 --> 00:05:50,879
"of The Blind Side
and you are invited.
138
00:05:50,947 --> 00:05:54,984
The screening
is October the 8th, 2009."
139
00:05:55,051 --> 00:05:56,318
‐I...
‐Too late.
140
00:05:56,385 --> 00:05:58,854
‐I missed it.
‐(laughs): Sandy Bullock.
141
00:05:58,921 --> 00:06:01,290
She was absolutely
delightful in it.
142
00:06:01,357 --> 00:06:04,193
She dazzled.
I mean, you've seen Speed,
143
00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:07,997
Miss Congeniality, Speed 2,
Miss Congeniality 2,
144
00:06:08,064 --> 00:06:10,366
‐and Practical Magic.
‐(hisses)
145
00:06:10,432 --> 00:06:14,103
Well, that, that's just rude.
(chuckles)
146
00:06:15,637 --> 00:06:17,473
Next message.
147
00:06:17,539 --> 00:06:19,475
"This is not a joke.
148
00:06:19,541 --> 00:06:22,144
"You are now cursed.
149
00:06:22,211 --> 00:06:24,746
"Forward this message
to ten people
150
00:06:24,813 --> 00:06:27,449
"and unforeseen riches
will be yours.
151
00:06:27,516 --> 00:06:30,052
"If you don't,
you will be killed.
152
00:06:30,119 --> 00:06:33,389
"Bloody Mary knows who you are
and where you live.
153
00:06:33,455 --> 00:06:37,960
"She will find you and hang
your corpse for all to see.
154
00:06:38,027 --> 00:06:41,430
"You have
until sunrise tomorrow.
155
00:06:41,497 --> 00:06:42,965
"No send‐backs.
156
00:06:43,032 --> 00:06:45,301
This is not a joke."
157
00:06:45,367 --> 00:06:47,703
Nadja!
158
00:06:47,769 --> 00:06:49,471
Laszlo!
159
00:06:54,485 --> 00:06:57,798
"Warning. If you've read
this far, it's too late."
160
00:06:57,865 --> 00:06:59,472
You stupid bloody donkey.
161
00:06:59,539 --> 00:07:01,774
‐Why did you let me
read this far?
‐Well...
162
00:07:01,841 --> 00:07:05,378
Says here some girl called
Arianna disobeyed Bloody Mary,
163
00:07:05,445 --> 00:07:06,947
and now she's dead.
164
00:07:07,014 --> 00:07:08,648
They ripped her guts out
165
00:07:08,715 --> 00:07:11,584
‐and dropped them on the front
doorstep of her parents.
‐Oh!
166
00:07:11,651 --> 00:07:12,719
I'd say we're fucked.
167
00:07:12,785 --> 00:07:14,421
This light box has cursed us.
168
00:07:14,487 --> 00:07:16,023
Do you think it could maybe
be something
169
00:07:16,089 --> 00:07:17,157
from the neighborhood imp,
170
00:07:17,224 --> 00:07:18,625
having a cheeky little joke?
171
00:07:18,691 --> 00:07:20,060
This is not a joke.
172
00:07:20,127 --> 00:07:21,995
It says it in many places.
173
00:07:22,062 --> 00:07:24,297
Here, here, and here.
174
00:07:24,364 --> 00:07:27,600
Don't look, my sweet darling.
It's too dangerous.
175
00:07:27,667 --> 00:07:29,002
Curses are very common
176
00:07:29,069 --> 00:07:31,438
‐and very serious.
‐Yes, this is true.
177
00:07:31,504 --> 00:07:33,240
When I was younger,
I saw so many
178
00:07:33,306 --> 00:07:35,042
horrible curses going around.
179
00:07:35,108 --> 00:07:37,377
There was a man
who was just in the market,
180
00:07:37,444 --> 00:07:40,280
and he didn't pay the fair
price for the meat of a goat,
181
00:07:40,347 --> 00:07:43,550
then, poof, you know,
his bollocks are shriveled into
182
00:07:43,616 --> 00:07:45,252
two tiny little raisins.
183
00:07:45,318 --> 00:07:47,020
The man's bollocks.
Not the goat's.
184
00:07:47,087 --> 00:07:49,222
Oh, yeah. No, sorry.
I thought that was clear.
185
00:07:49,289 --> 00:07:52,092
‐No, it wasn't.
‐(chuckles)
‐(scream echoing)
186
00:07:52,159 --> 00:07:53,460
‐Curses really hit you
where it hurts.
‐Mm‐hmm.
187
00:07:53,526 --> 00:07:57,264
Well, I definitely,
uh, succeeded
188
00:07:57,330 --> 00:07:58,698
with the infiltrating part
of the plan,
189
00:07:58,765 --> 00:08:01,201
but I'm having a little trouble
with the sabotage
190
00:08:01,268 --> 00:08:03,170
in that we're about to drive
a van full of vampire‐killing
191
00:08:03,236 --> 00:08:04,604
weapons to the house.
192
00:08:04,671 --> 00:08:07,040
I just need to pretend I'm one
of them. Just, just pretend...
193
00:08:07,107 --> 00:08:08,808
Guillermo!
We gotta move.
194
00:08:08,875 --> 00:08:12,112
Derek's mom needs the van back
first thing tomorrow morning.
195
00:08:12,179 --> 00:08:14,447
‐Let's ride.
‐Yeah.
196
00:08:14,514 --> 00:08:17,817
Why did you even open
this thin machine?!
197
00:08:17,885 --> 00:08:19,519
I was just checking
my e‐mails.
198
00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:21,922
I didn't know it would be
full of curses.
199
00:08:21,989 --> 00:08:23,490
All right, calm down.
200
00:08:23,556 --> 00:08:27,327
All we need to do is
send that to ten friends or foes
201
00:08:27,394 --> 00:08:29,562
by sunrise, and the curse
will be lifted.
202
00:08:29,629 --> 00:08:31,899
Where are we going to get
the e‐mail addresses,
203
00:08:31,965 --> 00:08:33,666
the "e‐mail address shop"?!
204
00:08:33,733 --> 00:08:35,535
No, I'm guessing that'll be
closed this time of night.
205
00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:39,272
I do have the e‐mail address
for a Count Fandango.
206
00:08:39,339 --> 00:08:41,108
Well done, Nandor.
Send it to him.
207
00:08:41,174 --> 00:08:43,743
One step forward
to unforeseen fortunes.
208
00:08:43,810 --> 00:08:46,046
One step away from getting
our guts ripped out.
209
00:08:46,113 --> 00:08:47,014
What do you say?
210
00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:48,348
‐(hisses)
‐How dare you do that?
211
00:08:48,415 --> 00:08:50,383
You want to end up
like Arianna?
212
00:08:50,450 --> 00:08:52,052
‐Fine.
‐Hold your bleedin' horses.
213
00:08:52,119 --> 00:08:55,222
Some chap's left
his calling card.
214
00:08:55,288 --> 00:08:58,258
A "Timothy,"
at Circuit City stores.
215
00:08:58,325 --> 00:09:00,193
"Happy to help," he says.
216
00:09:00,260 --> 00:09:02,795
It also has his phone number...
217
00:09:02,862 --> 00:09:05,298
‐and e‐mail address.
‐(Nadja cackles)
218
00:09:05,365 --> 00:09:07,367
‐(Nandor laughs)
‐Looks like Timothy's
going to be getting
219
00:09:07,434 --> 00:09:10,037
‐a curse in the electronic post.
‐NANDOR: Yeah!
220
00:09:10,103 --> 00:09:11,905
(all laughing)
221
00:09:11,972 --> 00:09:13,974
Hi, Timmy!
222
00:09:14,041 --> 00:09:15,275
‐(Claude whoops)
‐(loud rock music playing)
223
00:09:15,342 --> 00:09:18,511
CLAUDE:
Watch out, mosquitoes! (whoops)
224
00:09:18,578 --> 00:09:19,746
(others whooping)
225
00:09:19,812 --> 00:09:21,915
You know, maybe we could
keep it down a little bit, huh?
226
00:09:21,982 --> 00:09:24,784
It's actually hard to focus
on, uh, on vampire killing
227
00:09:24,851 --> 00:09:26,954
when it's so loud, you know?
228
00:09:27,020 --> 00:09:28,321
‐(lowers volume)
‐Thank you.
229
00:09:28,388 --> 00:09:31,124
(whispering):
I feel hot and sweaty.
230
00:09:31,191 --> 00:09:32,559
I can't stop shaking
since I got here.
231
00:09:32,625 --> 00:09:34,261
‐CLAUDE: You say something,
Guillermo?
‐Uh, no.
232
00:09:34,327 --> 00:09:35,328
I was just saying
that, uh, maybe
233
00:09:35,395 --> 00:09:36,696
we're getting a late start,
you know.
234
00:09:36,763 --> 00:09:37,664
We should probably be doing this
235
00:09:37,730 --> 00:09:38,999
tomorrow, during the day.
236
00:09:39,066 --> 00:09:40,567
My mom needs the van tomorrow.
237
00:09:40,633 --> 00:09:43,536
‐She's catering a quinceañera.
‐Cool, cool, cool.
238
00:09:43,603 --> 00:09:46,306
That explains the boxes
of, uh, shrimp...
239
00:09:46,373 --> 00:09:47,975
Yeah, man, knock yourself out,
you know.
240
00:09:48,041 --> 00:09:49,776
Okay, yeah, let me...
241
00:09:49,842 --> 00:09:52,279
let me take a look at...
242
00:09:52,345 --> 00:09:54,481
This is bad. This is bad.
243
00:09:54,547 --> 00:09:58,351
‐(line ringing)
‐Laszlo. Laszlo...
244
00:09:58,418 --> 00:10:01,721
‐(phone ringing)
‐Whoa! What clarion call
is that?
245
00:10:01,788 --> 00:10:03,423
The clagging chimes of doom?
246
00:10:03,490 --> 00:10:06,559
‐(phone continues ringing)
‐Shh. Where is it coming from?
247
00:10:06,626 --> 00:10:08,295
This way.
248
00:10:08,361 --> 00:10:11,031
‐(Nadja crying out)
‐NANDOR: I will answer it.
249
00:10:11,098 --> 00:10:12,165
LASZLO:
No, you won't.
250
00:10:12,232 --> 00:10:13,700
If that curse can travel
through the Internet,
251
00:10:13,766 --> 00:10:16,703
it'll sure as shit travel
through that telephone.
252
00:10:16,769 --> 00:10:17,938
(answering machine beeps)
253
00:10:18,005 --> 00:10:19,706
GUILLERMO (on message):
We're not in right now,
254
00:10:19,772 --> 00:10:21,708
but if you'd like to leave
a message for Nandor,
255
00:10:21,774 --> 00:10:24,044
‐Nadja or Laszlo,
‐COLIN: And Colin Robinson!
256
00:10:24,111 --> 00:10:25,612
‐please do so at the tone.
‐(beep)
257
00:10:25,678 --> 00:10:27,747
(harsh whisper): You need to get
out of the house right now.
258
00:10:27,814 --> 00:10:29,282
You need to get out
or you're gonna die.
259
00:10:29,349 --> 00:10:31,718
‐(gasps)
‐Get out now!
260
00:10:31,784 --> 00:10:33,186
You're gonna die.
261
00:10:33,253 --> 00:10:34,321
This is not a joke.
262
00:10:34,387 --> 00:10:35,522
‐Shit.
‐(beeps off)
263
00:10:35,588 --> 00:10:38,258
How did Bloody Mary get
our bloody phone number?!
264
00:10:38,325 --> 00:10:39,459
Her power knows no bounds.
265
00:10:39,526 --> 00:10:41,628
Did I tell you about the time
266
00:10:41,694 --> 00:10:43,563
when Arianna's guts were
ripped out of...
267
00:10:43,630 --> 00:10:46,166
‐Yes, we just read the e‐mail!
‐Yeah.
268
00:10:46,233 --> 00:10:47,700
We need more addresses.
269
00:10:47,767 --> 00:10:49,169
LASZLO:
Well, then, you need
to make one up.
270
00:10:49,236 --> 00:10:50,870
It is very hard to come up
with names
271
00:10:50,938 --> 00:10:52,739
when everyone is shouting.
272
00:10:52,805 --> 00:10:54,074
What is a good name?
273
00:10:54,141 --> 00:10:56,876
I know one we could try.
Bloody fucking Mary!
274
00:10:56,944 --> 00:10:58,611
That little piss snake
275
00:10:58,678 --> 00:10:59,913
thinks she can send
a curse to us?
276
00:10:59,980 --> 00:11:02,415
Well, let's see how she likes it
when I send an e‐mail to
277
00:11:02,482 --> 00:11:05,485
bloodyfuckingmary@aol.com.
278
00:11:05,552 --> 00:11:08,922
‐(computer chimes)
‐Did she reply?
279
00:11:08,989 --> 00:11:12,692
No. It is from "mailer‐daemon."
280
00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,094
ALL:
Demon!
281
00:11:19,967 --> 00:11:23,536
‐Knock, knock, knock,
knock, knocking.
‐(door creaking)
282
00:11:23,603 --> 00:11:24,804
Oh. Hey, guys.
Come on in.
283
00:11:24,871 --> 00:11:27,107
‐No, that's fine.
‐Right.
284
00:11:27,174 --> 00:11:28,909
Oh, hello, Colin Robinson.
285
00:11:28,976 --> 00:11:31,244
We were just sat around
thinking do you know what
286
00:11:31,311 --> 00:11:32,679
would be the best thing
in the world ever?
287
00:11:32,745 --> 00:11:36,917
‐Get Colin Robinson's
e‐mail address.
‐Why?
288
00:11:36,984 --> 00:11:38,551
‐To give you a discount card.
‐To send you a packet of three.
289
00:11:38,618 --> 00:11:40,453
NADJA:
I'm just really into,
like, computers.
290
00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:42,189
Uh‐huh. But why do you
really want it?
291
00:11:42,255 --> 00:11:44,291
Because we have a huge
fucking curse on us!
292
00:11:44,357 --> 00:11:47,527
We need ten e‐mail addresses
pronto, Tonto,
293
00:11:47,594 --> 00:11:49,829
‐or it's...
(makes slashing sound)
‐COLIN: Huh.
294
00:11:49,897 --> 00:11:53,500
Who got you? Tommy Knockers?
The Headless Apothecary?
295
00:11:53,566 --> 00:11:56,169
‐Bloody Mary.
‐(Nadja sobs)
296
00:11:56,236 --> 00:11:58,471
Oh. (laughs)
Oh, she's a sneak, that one.
297
00:11:58,538 --> 00:12:00,473
Sure, I'll give you
my e‐mail address.
298
00:12:00,540 --> 00:12:02,309
‐Ha!
‐Then I get the curse,
299
00:12:02,375 --> 00:12:04,844
and I can pass the curse
on to the company directory.
300
00:12:04,912 --> 00:12:08,481
Send it to Jason first.
He'll send it over to Andrew.
301
00:12:08,548 --> 00:12:10,383
It'll get to Becky.
When it gets to Becky,
302
00:12:10,450 --> 00:12:11,684
I'm gonna get a talking‐to.
303
00:12:11,751 --> 00:12:13,887
Don't want to be rude,
Colin Robinson, but could you
304
00:12:13,954 --> 00:12:16,023
get on with it?
Otherwise it's certain death.
305
00:12:16,089 --> 00:12:18,858
‐Okay. Well,
let me just write it down.
‐NANDOR: No, just say it to us.
306
00:12:18,926 --> 00:12:21,561
‐This pen's dead.
I'm gonna try the old Bic.
‐Just say it to us.
307
00:12:21,628 --> 00:12:23,763
‐It's gonna take a second.
‐You can just say it to us.
308
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,999
Oh, I wouldn't dare,
not with Internet security
309
00:12:26,066 --> 00:12:28,135
being how it is these days.
310
00:12:28,201 --> 00:12:30,403
A lot
of Fortune 500 companies today
311
00:12:30,470 --> 00:12:32,139
suffer from corporate espionage.
312
00:12:32,205 --> 00:12:36,209
‐"travelbug54@aol.com"?
‐Dot‐com. Right.
313
00:12:36,276 --> 00:12:38,111
I chose that e‐mail address
314
00:12:38,178 --> 00:12:42,215
because I enjoy traveling.
315
00:12:42,282 --> 00:12:44,952
(rock music playing)
316
00:12:45,018 --> 00:12:47,220
CLAUDE:
Here we go.
317
00:12:51,124 --> 00:12:52,893
♪♪ ♪♪
318
00:12:59,166 --> 00:13:01,701
(laughing):
Yes!
319
00:13:02,702 --> 00:13:05,172
It's not our house.
320
00:13:05,238 --> 00:13:06,773
We're fine.
We're gonna be okay.
321
00:13:06,839 --> 00:13:08,841
‐(whoops)
‐It's not our house. I mean,
322
00:13:08,909 --> 00:13:10,510
even the topiary,
it's not even erotic.
323
00:13:10,577 --> 00:13:13,313
They're just giant balls.
324
00:13:13,380 --> 00:13:15,115
(Guillermo exhales)
325
00:13:15,182 --> 00:13:17,017
Ready for your first hunt,
Guillermo?
326
00:13:17,084 --> 00:13:19,319
‐Technically, it's all
our first hunt, but... yeah.
‐True, true.
327
00:13:19,386 --> 00:13:22,022
GUILLERMO:
Destiny is a funny mistress.
328
00:13:22,089 --> 00:13:23,456
I mean, I highly doubt
329
00:13:23,523 --> 00:13:24,657
there's any vampires in there.
330
00:13:24,724 --> 00:13:26,859
GUILLERMO:
Okay, let's do this, I guess.
331
00:13:27,827 --> 00:13:29,129
CLAUDE:
Oh, hell yes.
332
00:13:29,196 --> 00:13:30,763
GUILLERMO:
And let's just be cautious,
guys.
333
00:13:30,830 --> 00:13:32,532
'Cause they could just be
regular people.
334
00:13:33,566 --> 00:13:35,702
And we're, like,
breaking into their house.
335
00:13:35,768 --> 00:13:38,505
CLAUDE: Get your cameras on.
I smell vamps.
336
00:13:42,042 --> 00:13:44,605
CLAUDE:
Very clever hiding place.
337
00:13:44,671 --> 00:13:48,041
Familiars are such idiots.
338
00:13:48,108 --> 00:13:49,876
They're... they're not idiots.
339
00:14:01,855 --> 00:14:03,423
(whispers):
See? See, I told you,
340
00:14:03,490 --> 00:14:05,526
they're just a regular family.
Come on, let's go.
341
00:14:05,592 --> 00:14:08,428
Are you kidding me? That's
just what they want us to think.
342
00:14:08,495 --> 00:14:10,163
These are decoy photos.
343
00:14:10,230 --> 00:14:12,298
All right, let's split up.
344
00:14:12,365 --> 00:14:15,268
Derek, Tonya, check that way.
I'll check over here.
345
00:14:15,335 --> 00:14:17,638
Newb, you stick with Shanice.
346
00:14:17,704 --> 00:14:18,672
Check upstairs.
347
00:14:18,739 --> 00:14:20,106
Let's eviscerate these vamps.
348
00:14:20,173 --> 00:14:22,809
No! No, no, no, let's not
eviscerate anyone, okay?
349
00:14:22,876 --> 00:14:24,277
This is already
breaking and entering.
350
00:14:24,344 --> 00:14:25,712
Let's just leave
this family alone
351
00:14:25,779 --> 00:14:27,748
‐before it gets worse.
‐I'm just gonna go upstairs.
352
00:14:27,814 --> 00:14:29,983
‐No, Shanice...
‐Are you just gonna stay
down here by yourself?
353
00:14:30,050 --> 00:14:32,418
‐And get murdered?
‐Shanice!
354
00:14:32,486 --> 00:14:34,420
We could go to prison for this.
Shanice.
355
00:14:34,488 --> 00:14:36,823
(creaking from above)
356
00:14:36,890 --> 00:14:38,925
Did you hear that?
357
00:14:43,730 --> 00:14:46,399
What is that, a cage?
358
00:14:46,466 --> 00:14:48,201
Oh, check this out, man.
359
00:14:48,268 --> 00:14:49,770
DEREK:
A bat cage.
360
00:14:49,836 --> 00:14:51,905
Who poses for a picture
of themself
361
00:14:51,972 --> 00:14:53,106
with themself?
362
00:14:53,173 --> 00:14:54,908
That's not normal.
363
00:15:01,715 --> 00:15:03,717
‐SHANICE: Oh.
‐GUILLERMO: See?
364
00:15:03,784 --> 00:15:05,952
If there was vampires, wouldn't
they be awake right now?
365
00:15:06,019 --> 00:15:07,120
That's true.
366
00:15:07,187 --> 00:15:08,589
Come on, let's go.
367
00:15:08,655 --> 00:15:09,856
They're just kids.
368
00:15:09,923 --> 00:15:11,558
You know, I used to have
star stickers
369
00:15:11,625 --> 00:15:12,893
like that when I was a kid.
370
00:15:12,959 --> 00:15:15,762
Ursa Major, Ursa Minor.
371
00:15:15,829 --> 00:15:18,999
Uh, Canis Major, Canis Minor.
372
00:15:19,065 --> 00:15:22,235
‐Shanice, we need to go!.
‐You know what,
if the police showed up,
373
00:15:22,302 --> 00:15:24,037
‐I think it's‐‐
‐We need to go, okay?
374
00:15:24,104 --> 00:15:25,806
Shanice, we need to go
right now.
375
00:15:25,872 --> 00:15:29,242
BOTH:
Where are you going?
376
00:15:30,443 --> 00:15:31,578
Holy...! (whimpers)
377
00:15:31,645 --> 00:15:32,646
BOTH:
Vampires!
378
00:15:32,713 --> 00:15:35,215
(playing out of tune)
379
00:15:40,587 --> 00:15:42,355
‐(screams)
‐♪♪ Oh, baby... ♪♪
380
00:15:42,422 --> 00:15:44,491
‐We need to get
everybody to the van.
‐(laughter)
381
00:15:44,558 --> 00:15:47,027
♪♪ My heart is full of love
and desire for you... ♪♪
382
00:15:47,093 --> 00:15:50,764
‐(screams)
‐Go, go, go, go, go!
383
00:15:50,831 --> 00:15:52,332
(screams)
384
00:15:52,398 --> 00:15:53,834
♪♪ You started this fire ♪♪
385
00:15:53,900 --> 00:15:55,669
♪♪ Down in my soul... ♪♪
386
00:15:55,736 --> 00:15:56,870
(grunts)
387
00:15:56,937 --> 00:15:59,405
I'm okay, I'm okay!
388
00:15:59,473 --> 00:16:01,441
COLIN:
Now that you have
my e‐mail address,
389
00:16:01,508 --> 00:16:04,310
I'll get your e‐mail addresses
and you'll be signed up
390
00:16:04,377 --> 00:16:06,312
automatically
for my e‐newsletter.
391
00:16:06,379 --> 00:16:08,048
‐(groans)
‐It's bi‐weekly
392
00:16:08,114 --> 00:16:10,917
and‐and by bi‐weekly,
I mean twice a week
393
00:16:10,984 --> 00:16:14,387
‐This week I'm taking
a deep dive into...
‐I have to go, I have to...
394
00:16:14,454 --> 00:16:18,224
‐Shit! Shit! Shit! Guys?! Guys?!
‐♪♪ Can't stay alive ♪♪
395
00:16:18,291 --> 00:16:20,594
♪♪ Without you ♪♪
396
00:16:20,661 --> 00:16:21,962
(panting)
397
00:16:22,028 --> 00:16:23,296
Whoever finds this,
398
00:16:23,363 --> 00:16:25,732
you have to warn everyone.
399
00:16:25,799 --> 00:16:28,735
(growls and snarling)
400
00:16:28,802 --> 00:16:31,137
(screams)
401
00:16:31,204 --> 00:16:33,774
♪♪ Desire for you ♪♪
402
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:35,108
Derek, let's go!
403
00:16:35,175 --> 00:16:36,843
No way! Guys?
404
00:16:36,910 --> 00:16:38,111
"Dancing in the Moonlight"?
405
00:16:38,178 --> 00:16:39,546
I bet vamps really
love this tune...
406
00:16:39,613 --> 00:16:41,247
‐No, we have to go!
‐(screams)
407
00:16:41,314 --> 00:16:42,583
Oh, my God!
Where's the holy water?
408
00:16:42,649 --> 00:16:44,685
‐(screaming)
‐Come on, let's go!
409
00:16:44,751 --> 00:16:46,820
Guys, we did it!
We actually found a vamp!
410
00:16:46,887 --> 00:16:49,590
(screams)
411
00:16:49,656 --> 00:16:51,758
Where are they?
412
00:16:51,825 --> 00:16:53,760
(all shouting, clamoring)
413
00:16:53,827 --> 00:16:56,029
(panting)
414
00:16:57,664 --> 00:16:59,299
I have to go back,
I have to go back
415
00:16:59,365 --> 00:17:00,967
or they're gonna die.
416
00:17:01,034 --> 00:17:02,468
I have to go back,
I got to go back.
417
00:17:08,441 --> 00:17:10,343
♪♪ ♪♪
418
00:17:10,410 --> 00:17:13,246
CLAUDE:
Get the fuck off of me! Shit!
419
00:17:13,313 --> 00:17:16,316
(screams)
I shoved a stake in my foot!
420
00:17:16,382 --> 00:17:18,985
‐Go, get out.
‐I'm trying.
421
00:17:19,052 --> 00:17:20,253
‐Go!
‐It really hurts.
422
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,188
‐I got a hole in my foot!
‐(hisses)
423
00:17:22,255 --> 00:17:23,557
(laughs, screams)
424
00:17:23,624 --> 00:17:25,458
You have to get out
of the house‐‐ go, go go!
425
00:17:25,526 --> 00:17:26,893
BOTH:
A midnight snack?
426
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,461
(grunts) Sorry.
427
00:17:28,529 --> 00:17:29,963
(both grunting)
428
00:17:30,030 --> 00:17:31,965
SHANICE:
Help me!
429
00:17:32,032 --> 00:17:33,433
Shanice!
430
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:35,602
‐Somebody, help!
‐Shanice!
431
00:17:35,669 --> 00:17:37,504
Somebody help!
432
00:17:37,571 --> 00:17:40,741
(screaming)
433
00:17:40,807 --> 00:17:42,375
Are you okay?
434
00:17:42,442 --> 00:17:44,044
‐I'm okay, I'm okay.
‐All right.
435
00:17:44,110 --> 00:17:45,812
I'm okay. (screams)
436
00:17:45,879 --> 00:17:47,714
(vampires hissing)
437
00:17:47,781 --> 00:17:49,449
Stay back! Get back!
438
00:17:49,516 --> 00:17:51,184
(screams)
439
00:17:51,251 --> 00:17:53,554
(shouting, clamoring)
440
00:17:53,620 --> 00:17:55,556
We have to go!
We have to go, sorry!
441
00:17:55,622 --> 00:17:56,623
(screams)
442
00:17:56,690 --> 00:17:57,791
(all hissing)
443
00:17:59,025 --> 00:18:00,661
(screams)
444
00:18:02,963 --> 00:18:05,499
CAMERAMAN:
Fuck!
445
00:18:05,566 --> 00:18:06,733
(shouting)
446
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,235
SHANICE:
Where's Derek?
I couldn't find Derek!
447
00:18:09,302 --> 00:18:11,972
‐It's too late for him now.
‐Oh. Oh...
448
00:18:12,038 --> 00:18:14,808
‐(snarling nearby)
‐(whimpering)
449
00:18:21,414 --> 00:18:24,718
We still have to get
the van back to Derek's mom.
450
00:18:24,785 --> 00:18:26,152
CLAUDE:
Yep.
451
00:18:26,219 --> 00:18:28,855
Sir... bob
452
00:18:28,922 --> 00:18:30,691
gel...
453
00:18:30,757 --> 00:18:34,995
dolph@yahoo.com.
454
00:18:35,061 --> 00:18:36,396
‐There, it is done.
‐(grunts)
455
00:18:36,462 --> 00:18:37,831
That is ten e‐mails. (laughs)
456
00:18:37,898 --> 00:18:39,365
LASZLO:
So what do we do,
wait till sunrise?
457
00:18:39,432 --> 00:18:41,234
How do we know
that Sir Bob Geldolph
458
00:18:41,301 --> 00:18:43,236
‐has that e‐mail?
‐Uh...
459
00:18:43,303 --> 00:18:45,138
‐(nearby thud)
‐Oh...
460
00:18:45,205 --> 00:18:47,273
Whoa, it's all right.
461
00:18:47,340 --> 00:18:49,643
NADJA:
Oh, no!
462
00:18:49,710 --> 00:18:51,444
Don't fear, my darling.
463
00:18:51,512 --> 00:18:53,980
Laszlo, your forearm is
not curse‐proof!
464
00:18:54,047 --> 00:18:55,549
Please!
465
00:18:55,616 --> 00:18:57,984
All this is playing
havoc with my guts.
466
00:18:58,051 --> 00:18:59,986
Talking about guts,
I did tell you about Arianna
467
00:19:00,053 --> 00:19:02,656
‐when her guts were dragged out
on the doorstep?
‐Yes, yes!
468
00:19:02,723 --> 00:19:04,424
No, no, no, please!
469
00:19:04,491 --> 00:19:07,093
Bloody Mary, have mercy on us!
470
00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:09,830
Do not rip our guts out!
471
00:19:09,896 --> 00:19:11,565
Guillermo?
472
00:19:11,632 --> 00:19:13,834
You scared the shit out of us!
473
00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:16,670
What was that dilly‐dallying
at the door?
474
00:19:16,737 --> 00:19:19,139
Could you just come in
like a normal person?
475
00:19:19,205 --> 00:19:20,607
The door's getting stuck again.
476
00:19:20,674 --> 00:19:22,776
I like tie‐dye‐‐
have you been to a concert?
477
00:19:22,843 --> 00:19:24,310
Yeah. Mm‐hmm.
478
00:19:24,377 --> 00:19:27,147
The Tide to go pens were
on sale, so you got some
479
00:19:27,213 --> 00:19:28,114
extra cash.
480
00:19:28,181 --> 00:19:30,416
Unforeseen riches.
481
00:19:30,484 --> 00:19:32,052
NADJA:
Oh, the curse!
482
00:19:32,118 --> 00:19:33,920
‐It has lifted!
‐(laughs)
483
00:19:33,987 --> 00:19:36,322
(all three clamoring)
484
00:19:38,058 --> 00:19:41,828
(stammers) You don't even know
what this is about.
485
00:19:41,895 --> 00:19:44,064
Laszlo, now, really?
486
00:19:44,130 --> 00:19:46,733
LASZLO:
Oh, yes.
487
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,434
♪♪ ♪♪
488
00:19:51,505 --> 00:19:53,039
You know, while you were
out running your errand,
489
00:19:53,106 --> 00:19:55,241
we were in very serious danger.
490
00:19:57,177 --> 00:19:59,012
Because of your machine.
491
00:19:59,079 --> 00:20:00,947
We could have been
killed tonight.
492
00:20:01,014 --> 00:20:02,783
Did you know that?
493
00:20:02,849 --> 00:20:05,418
It was really scary.
494
00:20:05,486 --> 00:20:07,120
I'm sorry, Master.
495
00:20:07,187 --> 00:20:09,122
Guillermo?
496
00:20:09,189 --> 00:20:10,591
Yes?
497
00:20:10,657 --> 00:20:12,559
Would you mind staying
for a few moments,
498
00:20:12,626 --> 00:20:15,095
just until I fall asleep?
499
00:20:15,161 --> 00:20:16,697
Of course.
500
00:20:16,763 --> 00:20:17,931
Thank you.
501
00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:21,067
Guillermo?
502
00:20:21,134 --> 00:20:22,402
Yes, Master?
503
00:20:23,970 --> 00:20:27,474
I don't wish to be murdered
in my slumber.
504
00:20:27,541 --> 00:20:29,109
I know it's a little silly,
505
00:20:29,175 --> 00:20:31,411
because we defeated the curse.
506
00:20:31,478 --> 00:20:34,380
But with that
and all these stories
507
00:20:34,447 --> 00:20:37,317
about vampires being murdered
508
00:20:37,383 --> 00:20:41,021
lately, I'm feeling a little...
509
00:20:41,087 --> 00:20:44,124
less fearless than I usually do.
510
00:20:44,190 --> 00:20:45,692
Just a little.
511
00:20:45,759 --> 00:20:47,828
‐I'll stay, Master.
‐Thank you.
512
00:21:03,343 --> 00:21:05,679
I'm not asleep yet, Guillermo!
513
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:15,989
♪♪ I don't know how it ♪♪
514
00:21:16,056 --> 00:21:20,594
♪♪ Done happened... ♪♪
515
00:21:20,661 --> 00:21:25,699
♪♪ The devil caught me napping ♪♪
516
00:21:27,668 --> 00:21:31,872
♪♪ He must've come
without a‐rapping ♪♪
517
00:21:33,574 --> 00:21:37,578
♪♪ Without a‐rapping on my door ♪♪
518
00:21:39,613 --> 00:21:44,718
♪♪ And he done
took me flirting ♪♪
519
00:21:46,352 --> 00:21:50,356
♪♪ But he and I ♪♪
520
00:21:51,725 --> 00:21:55,629
♪♪ Don't talk no more ♪♪
521
00:21:55,696 --> 00:21:57,864
♪♪ Baby, is you sure? ♪♪
36246
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