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1
00:00:04,178 --> 00:00:06,441
Did you call
the speaker of the house
a four-letter word?
2
00:00:06,484 --> 00:00:07,920
-No.
-Are you sure?
3
00:00:07,964 --> 00:00:10,445
Yes, I'm sure."Ass" is a three-letter word.
4
00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:25,242
Here we are.
[grunts]
5
00:00:25,286 --> 00:00:27,288
I keep all of my correspondences
6
00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:30,552
from the past seven and a half
centuries in this box.
7
00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:33,294
I used to get so many letters.
8
00:00:33,337 --> 00:00:34,860
Who's it gonna be?
9
00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:36,688
From my mom and dad
10
00:00:36,732 --> 00:00:39,952
when I was away training with
the Al Quolanudarian forces.
11
00:00:39,996 --> 00:00:41,563
"Dear Nandor,
12
00:00:41,606 --> 00:00:45,262
we hope that the rocks there
are not too hard."
13
00:00:45,306 --> 00:00:49,310
At training camp,
we would use rocks as pillows.
14
00:00:49,353 --> 00:00:51,312
And blankets.
15
00:00:51,355 --> 00:00:54,141
This one is a letter
from the leader of an army
16
00:00:54,184 --> 00:00:57,013
that we defeated
with particular brutality.
17
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,015
Tens of thousands
were slaughtered.
18
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,452
I guess I never had
a chance to open it.
19
00:01:01,496 --> 00:01:04,238
"I resign myself to surrender.
20
00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:07,067
I plead for a road to peace."
21
00:01:08,416 --> 00:01:09,547
Oops.
22
00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:11,941
Oh, this one is good.
23
00:01:11,984 --> 00:01:14,900
An anonymous friend
sent me a token
24
00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:18,600
for a free scoop
at Baskin and Robbins.
25
00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:23,213
I can't eat ice cream,
but it meant a lot.
26
00:01:23,257 --> 00:01:25,259
I have asked Guillermo
27
00:01:25,302 --> 00:01:27,304
to bring me
his computing machine
28
00:01:27,348 --> 00:01:30,307
so I can see if I have receivedany electronic letters
29
00:01:30,351 --> 00:01:32,614
-in the past decade.
-GUILLERMO: Okay.
30
00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:34,703
-All right.
-Ah, yes.
31
00:01:34,746 --> 00:01:36,357
GUILLERMO:
Connect this...
32
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:38,663
All right, there you go.
33
00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:46,149
It's connected
to this Ethernet cable.
34
00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:48,195
Yes, I know how
the ether works, Guillermo.
35
00:01:48,238 --> 00:01:51,285
-No, Ethernet.
-Give me this.
36
00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:52,895
[error chime]
37
00:01:53,983 --> 00:01:56,812
[error chime continues]
38
00:01:56,855 --> 00:01:59,597
Okay. Well, if that's it,
39
00:01:59,641 --> 00:02:01,643
I'm gonna head out, 'cause Ihave a couple of errands to run.
40
00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:04,211
-Okay, then, bye-bye.
-Bye-bye.
41
00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:06,865
Oh, uh, I got some blood
on my fancy collar,
42
00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:08,389
so if could you get me
one of those...
43
00:02:08,432 --> 00:02:09,955
-Tide to go pens?
-...soapy pens
44
00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:11,566
-you can use on clothing.
-Tide to go pens.
45
00:02:11,609 --> 00:02:13,045
The Tide pen.
46
00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:15,570
-The "to go" variety.
-To go.
47
00:02:15,613 --> 00:02:18,094
There's money in the dish
on the table in my room.
48
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,313
The money dish.
49
00:02:19,356 --> 00:02:21,010
Uh, it's gone black.
50
00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:23,055
No, no, it's just asleep.
51
00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:27,408
Arise. Arise!
52
00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:31,455
What is "arise," again?
Control-alt-seven?
53
00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:33,370
["You're Dead"
by Norma Tanega playing]
54
00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:36,025
♪ Don't sing if you want
to live long♪
55
00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:38,375
♪ They have no use
for your song♪
56
00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:41,291
♪ You're dead, you're dead,
you're dead♪
57
00:02:41,335 --> 00:02:43,424
♪ You're dead
and out of this world♪
58
00:02:45,513 --> 00:02:48,603
♪ Now your hope and compassion
is gone♪
59
00:02:48,646 --> 00:02:51,258
♪ You sold out your dream
to the world♪
60
00:02:51,301 --> 00:02:53,782
♪ Stay dead, stay dead,
stay dead♪
61
00:02:53,825 --> 00:02:58,265
♪ You're dead
and out of this world.♪
62
00:02:58,308 --> 00:03:00,484
♪
63
00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:07,926
CLAUDE:
What if it's a little
old lady vampire?
64
00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:10,146
-KIDS: Kill.
-What if it's a little
baby vampire?
65
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,148
-KIDS: Kill.
-Oh, look here.
66
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:15,020
Guillermo, you ready
to slay some Suckers?
67
00:03:15,064 --> 00:03:18,285
Uh... I brought
some wooden stakes
68
00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:20,156
-that I had at home
so we can practice...
-TONYA: Nice.
69
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,159
-...slaying some Suckers.
-CLAUDE: Right on.
70
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,682
GUILLERMO:
I've decided
71
00:03:24,726 --> 00:03:26,467
[whispers]:
to infiltrate the group
72
00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:30,035
and sabotage
whatever plans they have.
73
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:32,081
'Cause I would never forgive
myself if something happened
74
00:03:32,124 --> 00:03:34,475
to Nandor, Nadja or Laszlo.
75
00:03:34,518 --> 00:03:36,433
But I don't think I have to be
worried too much with this...
76
00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:38,653
CLAUDE:
Stab it, stab it like this!
Gotta kill it.
77
00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:40,481
Glad you brought
your camera crew, too.
78
00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:42,309
Helps get the word out.
79
00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:44,528
For too long,these vampires have gotten away
80
00:03:44,572 --> 00:03:47,531
with treating humans
like either dinner or dirt.
81
00:03:47,575 --> 00:03:49,490
You know, every relationship
has its ebbs and flows.
82
00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:51,100
Ooh! I'm feeling good.
83
00:03:51,143 --> 00:03:52,449
-DEREK: Yeah. Yes.
-You feeling good?
84
00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:54,973
-I feel good.
-Hell yeah.
-Yeah.
85
00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:56,627
You guys are pumped
for training.
86
00:03:56,671 --> 00:03:58,455
CLAUDE:Training? Nah. Training's over.
87
00:03:58,499 --> 00:04:02,329
-What-what's going on?
-Our first official hunt.
88
00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:04,983
I'm sorry, what?
89
00:04:08,552 --> 00:04:12,513
Oh, uh-- No, I thought
we were just going to,
90
00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:14,384
-uh, practice today...
-No, no, no.
91
00:04:14,428 --> 00:04:16,865
We finally have a real target.
Shanice, fill him in.
92
00:04:16,908 --> 00:04:18,780
You know my roommate
who was turned into a vampire?
93
00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:20,172
Well, I think I figured out
94
00:04:20,216 --> 00:04:21,435
where the ones
who turned her live.
95
00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:24,916
It's a house right here
in Staten Island.
96
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,440
It's a very
spooky-looking place.
97
00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:29,530
No one goes in or out
during the day.
98
00:04:29,573 --> 00:04:30,661
No cars are parked out front.
99
00:04:30,705 --> 00:04:33,708
And there a lot of bats.
100
00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:35,971
Plus, there are
these very strange
101
00:04:36,014 --> 00:04:39,670
tr-- tr-- tenopinaries.
Tipperaries?
102
00:04:39,714 --> 00:04:42,238
-Chilip-- Tilopirar...
-Topiary.
103
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,892
These hedges
out in the front yard.
104
00:04:43,935 --> 00:04:46,808
Do, uh, any of these hedges
look like...
105
00:04:48,157 --> 00:04:49,593
...vaginas?
106
00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:51,203
[stifled laugh]
My man.
107
00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:52,553
SHANICE:
I mean, I guess
108
00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,468
some of them
are of the adult nature.
109
00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:57,122
I think I know what house
you're talking about.
110
00:04:57,166 --> 00:04:59,342
They're normal human beings.
They're not vampires.
111
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:00,952
They're, like, teachers
or social workers, actually.
112
00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:03,477
-We are going there tonight.
-Yes!
113
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,393
No! We shouldn't go tonight.
114
00:05:06,436 --> 00:05:08,612
This is my second meeting.
I thought we were gonna just--
115
00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:10,222
ha-- practice.
116
00:05:10,266 --> 00:05:11,528
I could go another round
at that crossbow.
117
00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:12,921
And I know that Derek
mentioned something.
118
00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:14,575
You could go
another round, right?
119
00:05:14,618 --> 00:05:15,837
-No, I'm good.
-I'm pretty sure you said it.
120
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:17,142
No, we've never
talked outside of this.
121
00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:18,361
Okay, well, he doesn't remember.
122
00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:21,495
-Gear up. Let's ride.
-Yes.
123
00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:23,410
TONYA:
All right, guys.
We have enough for, like,
124
00:05:23,453 --> 00:05:25,368
two holy waters per person.
125
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:27,022
[hyperventilating]
126
00:05:27,065 --> 00:05:29,416
Breathing exercises.
I like it, Guillermo.
127
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,811
I'm going to check my Hotmail.
128
00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:35,465
Password?
129
00:05:35,509 --> 00:05:38,468
Uh... What is my password?
130
00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:41,515
A secure, alphanumeric one,
I hope.
131
00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:44,996
People think that just varying
the case and adding a number
132
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:48,391
is enough to keep
would-be hackers at bay,
133
00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:49,436
but the truth is,
134
00:05:49,479 --> 00:05:51,438
that's just the floor,
not the ceiling.
135
00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:54,789
I have a very secure password,
okay, Colin Robinson?
136
00:05:54,832 --> 00:05:57,052
My password
is an impenetrable fortress.
137
00:05:57,095 --> 00:06:01,622
That's it.
"Impenetrable fortress."
138
00:06:01,665 --> 00:06:03,798
I have two e-mail messages.
139
00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:07,323
"Fandango.com presents
an advanced screening
140
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:10,892
"of The Blind Side
and you are invited.
141
00:06:10,935 --> 00:06:15,070
The screening
is October the 8th, 2009."
142
00:06:15,113 --> 00:06:16,637
-I...
-Too late.
143
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,856
-I missed it.
-[laughs]: Sandy Bullock.
144
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:21,555
She was absolutely
delightful in it.
145
00:06:21,598 --> 00:06:24,427
She dazzled.
I mean, you've seen Speed,
146
00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:28,083
Miss Congeniality, Speed 2,
Miss Congeniality 2,
147
00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:30,694
-and Practical Magic.
-[hisses]
148
00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:33,871
Well, that, that's just rude.
[chuckles]
149
00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:37,527
Next message.
150
00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:39,529
"This is not a joke.
151
00:06:39,573 --> 00:06:42,314
"You are now cursed.
152
00:06:42,358 --> 00:06:44,665
"Forward this message
to ten people
153
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:47,494
"and unforeseen riches
will be yours.
154
00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:50,148
"If you don't,
you will be killed.
155
00:06:50,192 --> 00:06:53,717
"Bloody Mary knows who you are
and where you live.
156
00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:58,026
"She will find you and hang
your corpse for all to see.
157
00:06:58,069 --> 00:07:01,464
"You have
until sunrise tomorrow.
158
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:03,031
"No send-backs.
159
00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:05,250
This is not a joke."
160
00:07:05,294 --> 00:07:07,601
Nadja!
161
00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:09,429
Laszlo!
162
00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:18,089
"Warning. If you've read
this far, it's too late."
163
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:19,482
You stupid bloody donkey.
164
00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:21,963
-Why did you let me
read this far?
-Well...
165
00:07:22,006 --> 00:07:25,314
Says here some girl called
Arianna disobeyed Bloody Mary,
166
00:07:25,357 --> 00:07:26,924
and now she's dead.
167
00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:28,839
They ripped her guts out
168
00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:31,712
-and dropped them on the front
doorstep of her parents.
-Oh!
169
00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:32,626
I'd say we're fucked.
170
00:07:32,669 --> 00:07:34,715
This light box has cursed us.
171
00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:36,064
Do you think it could maybe
be something
172
00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:37,282
from the neighborhood imp,
173
00:07:37,326 --> 00:07:38,719
having a cheeky little joke?
174
00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:40,155
This is not a joke.
175
00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:42,070
It says it in many places.
176
00:07:42,113 --> 00:07:44,507
Here, here, and here.
177
00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:47,728
Don't look, my sweet darling.
It's too dangerous.
178
00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:48,990
Curses are very common
179
00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:51,732
-and very serious.
-Yes, this is true.
180
00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:53,385
When I was younger,
I saw so many
181
00:07:53,429 --> 00:07:55,083
horrible curses going around.
182
00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:57,607
There was a man
who was just in the market,
183
00:07:57,651 --> 00:08:00,436
and he didn't pay the fair
price for the meat of a goat,
184
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,570
then, poof, you know,his bollocks are shriveled into
185
00:08:03,613 --> 00:08:05,397
two tiny little raisins.
186
00:08:05,441 --> 00:08:07,008
The man's bollocks.
Not the goat's.
187
00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:09,401
Oh, yeah. No, sorry.
I thought that was clear.
188
00:08:09,445 --> 00:08:12,143
-No, it wasn't.
-[chuckles]
-[scream echoing]
189
00:08:12,187 --> 00:08:13,754
-Curses really hit you
where it hurts.
-Mm-hmm.
190
00:08:13,797 --> 00:08:17,409
Well, I definitely,
uh, succeeded
191
00:08:17,453 --> 00:08:18,802
with the infiltrating part
of the plan,
192
00:08:18,846 --> 00:08:21,326
but I'm having a little troublewith the sabotage
193
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:23,328
in that we're about to drive
a van full of vampire-killing
194
00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:24,678
weapons to the house.
195
00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:27,028
I just need to pretend I'm one
of them. Just, just pretend...
196
00:08:27,071 --> 00:08:28,986
Guillermo!
We gotta move.
197
00:08:29,030 --> 00:08:32,163
Derek's mom needs the van back
first thing tomorrow morning.
198
00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:34,688
-Let's ride.
-Yeah.
199
00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:37,691
Why did you even open
this thin machine?!
200
00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:39,823
I was just checking
my e-mails.
201
00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:41,912
I didn't know it would be
full of curses.
202
00:08:41,956 --> 00:08:43,784
All right, calm down.
203
00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:47,570
All we need to do issend that to ten friends or foes
204
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,572
by sunrise, and the curse
will be lifted.
205
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:51,835
Where are we going to get
the e-mail addresses,
206
00:08:51,879 --> 00:08:53,750
the "e-mail address shop"?!
207
00:08:53,794 --> 00:08:55,839
No, I'm guessing that'll be
closed this time of night.
208
00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:59,408
I do have the e-mail address
for a Count Fandango.
209
00:08:59,451 --> 00:09:01,192
Well done, Nandor.
Send it to him.
210
00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:03,934
One step forward
to unforeseen fortunes.
211
00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:06,023
One step away from getting
our guts ripped out.
212
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:07,068
What do you say?
213
00:09:07,111 --> 00:09:08,504
-[hisses]
-How dare you do that?
214
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,593
You want to end up
like Arianna?
215
00:09:10,637 --> 00:09:12,029
-Fine.
-Hold your bleedin' horses.
216
00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:15,293
Some chap's left
his calling card.
217
00:09:15,337 --> 00:09:18,383
A "Timothy,"
at Circuit City stores.
218
00:09:18,427 --> 00:09:20,298
"Happy to help," he says.
219
00:09:20,342 --> 00:09:22,605
It also has his phone number...
220
00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:25,434
-and e-mail address.
-[Nadja cackles]
221
00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:27,523
-[Nandor laughs]
-Looks like Timothy's
going to be getting
222
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,004
-a curse in the electronic post.-NANDOR: Yeah!
223
00:09:30,047 --> 00:09:31,788
[all laughing]
224
00:09:31,832 --> 00:09:33,877
Hi, Timmy!
225
00:09:33,921 --> 00:09:35,444
-[Claude whoops]
-[loud rock music playing]
226
00:09:35,487 --> 00:09:38,490
CLAUDE:Watch out, mosquitoes! [whoops]
227
00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:39,753
[others whooping]
228
00:09:39,796 --> 00:09:42,190
You know, maybe we couldkeep it down a little bit, huh?
229
00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:44,888
It's actually hard to focus
on, uh, on vampire killing
230
00:09:44,932 --> 00:09:46,847
when it's so loud, you know?
231
00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:48,457
-[lowers volume]
-Thank you.
232
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:51,199
[whispering]:
I feel hot and sweaty.
233
00:09:51,242 --> 00:09:52,853
I can't stop shaking
since I got here.
234
00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:54,332
-CLAUDE: You say something,
Guillermo?
-Uh, no.
235
00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:55,333
I was just saying
that, uh, maybe
236
00:09:55,377 --> 00:09:56,726
we're getting a late start,
you know.
237
00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:57,727
We should probably be doing this
238
00:09:57,771 --> 00:09:58,989
tomorrow, during the day.
239
00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:00,904
My mom needs the van tomorrow.
240
00:10:00,948 --> 00:10:03,864
-She's catering a quinceañera.
-Cool, cool, cool.
241
00:10:03,907 --> 00:10:06,431
That explains the boxes
of, uh, shrimp...
242
00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:07,868
Yeah, man, knock yourself out,
you know.
243
00:10:07,911 --> 00:10:09,870
Okay, yeah, let me...
244
00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:12,350
let me take a look at...
245
00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:14,701
This is bad. This is bad.
246
00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:18,487
-[line ringing]
-Laszlo. Laszlo...
247
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:21,795
-[phone ringing]
-Whoa! What clarion call
is that?
248
00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:23,579
The clagging chimes of doom?
249
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:26,495
-[phone continues ringing]
-Shh. Where is it coming from?
250
00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:28,453
This way.
251
00:10:28,497 --> 00:10:30,934
-[Nadja crying out]
-NANDOR: I will answer it.
252
00:10:30,978 --> 00:10:32,153
LASZLO:
No, you won't.
253
00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:33,720
If that curse can travel
through the Internet,
254
00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:36,766
it'll sure as shit travel
through that telephone.
255
00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:37,724
[answering machine beeps]
256
00:10:37,767 --> 00:10:39,726
GUILLERMO [on message]:
We're not in right now,
257
00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:41,728
but if you'd like to leave
a message for Nandor,
258
00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:43,947
-Nadja or Laszlo,
-COLIN: And Colin Robinson!
259
00:10:43,991 --> 00:10:45,906
-please do so at the tone.
-[beep]
260
00:10:45,949 --> 00:10:47,864
[harsh whisper]: You need to getout of the house right now.
261
00:10:47,908 --> 00:10:49,344
You need to get out
or you're gonna die.
262
00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:51,738
-[gasps]
-Get out now!
263
00:10:51,781 --> 00:10:53,174
You're gonna die.
264
00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:54,392
This is not a joke.
265
00:10:54,436 --> 00:10:55,742
-Shit.
-[beeps off]
266
00:10:55,785 --> 00:10:58,353
How did Bloody Mary get
our bloody phone number?!
267
00:10:58,396 --> 00:10:59,702
Her power knows no bounds.
268
00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:01,922
Did I tell you about the time
269
00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:03,793
when Arianna's guts were
ripped out of...
270
00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:06,143
-Yes, we just read the e-mail!
-Yeah.
271
00:11:06,187 --> 00:11:07,754
We need more addresses.
272
00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:09,190
LASZLO:
Well, then, you need
to make one up.
273
00:11:09,233 --> 00:11:10,974
It is very hard to come up
with names
274
00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:12,759
when everyone is shouting.
275
00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:13,977
What is a good name?
276
00:11:14,021 --> 00:11:16,980
I know one we could try.
Bloody fucking Mary!
277
00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:18,852
That little piss snake
278
00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:20,070
thinks she can send
a curse to us?
279
00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:22,594
Well, let's see how she likes itwhen I send an e-mail to
280
00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:25,641
bloodyfuckingmary@aol.com.
281
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:28,775
-[computer chimes]
-Did she reply?
282
00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:32,648
No. It is from "mailer-daemon."
283
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:33,910
ALL:
Demon!
284
00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:43,746
-Knock, knock, knock,
knock, knocking.
-[door creaking]
285
00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:44,834
Oh. Hey, guys.
Come on in.
286
00:11:44,878 --> 00:11:47,010
-No, that's fine.
-Right.
287
00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:49,099
Oh, hello, Colin Robinson.
288
00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:51,232
We were just sat around
thinking do you know what
289
00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:53,016
would be the best thing
in the world ever?
290
00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:57,020
-Get Colin Robinson's
e-mail address.
-Why?
291
00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:58,805
-To give you a discount card.-To send you a packet of three.
292
00:11:58,848 --> 00:12:00,589
NADJA:
I'm just really into,
like, computers.
293
00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:02,199
Uh-huh. But why do you
really want it?
294
00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:04,332
Because we have a huge
fucking curse on us!
295
00:12:04,375 --> 00:12:07,770
We need ten e-mail addresses
pronto, Tonto,
296
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,903
-or it's...
[makes slashing sound]
-COLIN: Huh.
297
00:12:09,946 --> 00:12:13,689
Who got you? Tommy Knockers?
The Headless Apothecary?
298
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:16,170
-Bloody Mary.
-[Nadja sobs]
299
00:12:16,213 --> 00:12:18,607
Oh. [laughs]
Oh, she's a sneak, that one.
300
00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,652
Sure, I'll give you
my e-mail address.
301
00:12:20,696 --> 00:12:22,350
-Ha!
-Then I get the curse,
302
00:12:22,393 --> 00:12:24,918
and I can pass the curse
on to the company directory.
303
00:12:24,961 --> 00:12:28,617
Send it to Jason first.
He'll send it over to Andrew.
304
00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:30,445
It'll get to Becky.
When it gets to Becky,
305
00:12:30,488 --> 00:12:31,925
I'm gonna get a talking-to.
306
00:12:31,968 --> 00:12:34,014
Don't want to be rude,
Colin Robinson, but could you
307
00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:36,190
get on with it?
Otherwise it's certain death.
308
00:12:36,233 --> 00:12:38,975
-Okay. Well,
let me just write it down.-NANDOR: No, just say it to us.
309
00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:41,804
-This pen's dead.
I'm gonna try the old Bic.
-Just say it to us.
310
00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:44,067
-It's gonna take a second.
-You can just say it to us.
311
00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:45,852
Oh, I wouldn't dare,
not with Internet security
312
00:12:45,895 --> 00:12:48,028
being how it is these days.
313
00:12:48,071 --> 00:12:50,508
A lot
of Fortune 500 companies today
314
00:12:50,552 --> 00:12:52,032
suffer from corporate espionage.
315
00:12:52,075 --> 00:12:56,166
-"travelbug54@aol.com"?
-Dot-com. Right.
316
00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:58,038
I chose that e-mail address
317
00:12:58,081 --> 00:13:02,172
because I enjoy traveling.
318
00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:05,088
[rock music playing]
319
00:13:05,132 --> 00:13:06,829
CLAUDE:
Here we go.
320
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,922
♪
321
00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:21,539
[laughing]:
Yes!
322
00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:25,065
It's not our house.
323
00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:27,067
We're fine.
We're gonna be okay.
324
00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:28,851
-[whoops]
-It's not our house. I mean,
325
00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:30,635
even the topiary,
it's not even erotic.
326
00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:33,334
They're just giant balls.
327
00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:34,988
[Guillermo exhales]
328
00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:37,120
Ready for your first hunt,
Guillermo?
329
00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:39,296
-Technically, it's all
our first hunt, but... yeah.
-True, true.
330
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:42,125
GUILLERMO:
Destiny is a funny mistress.
331
00:13:42,169 --> 00:13:43,518
I mean, I highly doubt
332
00:13:43,561 --> 00:13:44,911
there's any vampires in there.
333
00:13:44,954 --> 00:13:46,782
GUILLERMO:
Okay, let's do this, I guess.
334
00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:49,306
CLAUDE:
Oh, hell yes.
335
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:51,004
GUILLERMO:
And let's just be cautious,
guys.
336
00:13:51,047 --> 00:13:52,309
'Cause they could just be
regular people.
337
00:13:53,702 --> 00:13:55,965
And we're, like,
breaking into their house.
338
00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:58,185
CLAUDE: Get your cameras on.
I smell vamps.
339
00:14:02,058 --> 00:14:04,104
CLAUDE:
Very clever hiding place.
340
00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:07,498
Familiars are such idiots.
341
00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:08,891
They're... they're not idiots.
342
00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:23,166
[whispers]:
See? See, I told you,
343
00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:24,951
they're just a regular family.
Come on, let's go.
344
00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:27,823
Are you kidding me? That'sjust what they want us to think.
345
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,694
These are decoy photos.
346
00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:31,914
All right, let's split up.
347
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:34,830
Derek, Tonya, check that way.
I'll check over here.
348
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,137
Newb, you stick with Shanice.
349
00:14:37,180 --> 00:14:38,181
Check upstairs.
350
00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:39,574
Let's eviscerate these vamps.
351
00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:42,098
No! No, no, no, let's not
eviscerate anyone, okay?
352
00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:43,926
This is already
breaking and entering.
353
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:45,275
Let's just leave
this family alone
354
00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:47,321
-before it gets worse.
-I'm just gonna go upstairs.
355
00:14:47,364 --> 00:14:49,410
-No, Shanice...
-Are you just gonna stay
down here by yourself?
356
00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:52,065
-And get murdered?
-Shanice!
357
00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:53,762
We could go to prison for this.Shanice.
358
00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:56,112
[creaking from above]
359
00:14:56,156 --> 00:14:57,897
Did you hear that?
360
00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:05,730
What is that, a cage?
361
00:15:05,774 --> 00:15:07,732
Oh, check this out, man.
362
00:15:07,776 --> 00:15:08,995
DEREK:
A bat cage.
363
00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:11,214
Who poses for a picture
of themself
364
00:15:11,258 --> 00:15:12,563
with themself?
365
00:15:12,607 --> 00:15:14,130
That's not normal.
366
00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:23,226
-SHANICE: Oh.
-GUILLERMO: See?
367
00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:25,315
If there was vampires, wouldn'tthey be awake right now?
368
00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:26,621
That's true.
369
00:15:26,664 --> 00:15:28,014
Come on, let's go.
370
00:15:28,057 --> 00:15:29,189
They're just kids.
371
00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:30,973
You know, I used to have
star stickers
372
00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:32,235
like that when I was a kid.
373
00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:34,977
Ursa Major, Ursa Minor.
374
00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:38,676
Uh, Canis Major, Canis Minor.
375
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:41,766
-Shanice, we need to go!.
-You know what,
if the police showed up,
376
00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:43,420
-I think it's--
-We need to go, okay?
377
00:15:43,464 --> 00:15:45,031
Shanice, we need to go
right now.
378
00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:48,425
BOTH:
Where are you going?
379
00:15:49,687 --> 00:15:50,993
Holy...! [whimpers]
380
00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:52,081
BOTH:
Vampires!
381
00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:54,301
[playing out of tune]
382
00:16:00,307 --> 00:16:01,917
-[screams]
-♪ Oh, baby...♪
383
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:04,137
-We need to get
everybody to the van.
-[laughter]
384
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:06,400
♪ My heart is full of love
and desire for you...♪
385
00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:10,273
-[screams]
-Go, go, go, go, go!
386
00:16:10,317 --> 00:16:11,883
[screams]
387
00:16:11,927 --> 00:16:13,059
♪ You started this fire♪
388
00:16:13,102 --> 00:16:15,148
♪ Down in my soul...♪
389
00:16:15,191 --> 00:16:16,149
[grunts]
390
00:16:16,192 --> 00:16:19,021
I'm okay, I'm okay!
391
00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:21,110
COLIN:
Now that you have
my e-mail address,
392
00:16:21,154 --> 00:16:23,852
I'll get your e-mail addresses
and you'll be signed up
393
00:16:23,895 --> 00:16:25,854
automatically
for my e-newsletter.
394
00:16:25,897 --> 00:16:27,421
-[groans]
-It's bi-weekly
395
00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:30,598
and-and by bi-weekly,
I mean twice a week
396
00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:33,949
-This week I'm taking
a deep dive into...
-I have to go, I have to...
397
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:37,692
-Shit! Shit! Shit! Guys?! Guys?!-♪ Can't stay alive♪
398
00:16:37,735 --> 00:16:39,955
♪ Without you♪
399
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,304
[panting]
400
00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:42,827
Whoever finds this,
401
00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:45,178
you have to warn everyone.
402
00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:48,181
[growls and snarling]
403
00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:50,531
[screams]
404
00:16:50,574 --> 00:16:53,273
♪ Desire for you♪
405
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:54,491
Derek, let's go!
406
00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:56,058
No way! Guys?
407
00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:57,538
"Dancing in the Moonlight"?
408
00:16:57,581 --> 00:16:59,279
I bet vamps really
love this tune...
409
00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:00,715
-No, we have to go!
-[screams]
410
00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:02,325
Oh, my God!
Where's the holy water?
411
00:17:02,369 --> 00:17:04,197
-[screaming]
-Come on, let's go!
412
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,068
Guys, we did it!
We actually found a vamp!
413
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:08,984
[screams]
414
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,204
Where are they?
415
00:17:11,247 --> 00:17:13,206
[all shouting, clamoring]
416
00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:15,251
[panting]
417
00:17:17,384 --> 00:17:18,776
I have to go back,
I have to go back
418
00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:20,256
or they're gonna die.
419
00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:21,736
I have to go back,
I got to go back.
420
00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:29,874
♪
421
00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:32,703
CLAUDE:
Get the fuck off of me! Shit!
422
00:17:32,747 --> 00:17:35,793
[screams]
I shoved a stake in my foot!
423
00:17:35,837 --> 00:17:38,274
-Go, get out.
-I'm trying.
424
00:17:38,318 --> 00:17:39,710
-Go!
-It really hurts.
425
00:17:39,754 --> 00:17:41,582
-I got a hole in my foot!
-[hisses]
426
00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:43,192
[laughs, screams]
427
00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:45,020
You have to get out
of the house-- go, go go!
428
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,108
BOTH:
A midnight snack?
429
00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:47,718
[grunts] Sorry.
430
00:17:47,762 --> 00:17:49,285
[both grunting]
431
00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:51,244
SHANICE:
Help me!
432
00:17:51,287 --> 00:17:52,984
Shanice!
433
00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:54,943
-Somebody, help!
-Shanice!
434
00:17:54,986 --> 00:17:56,814
Somebody help!
435
00:17:56,858 --> 00:18:00,166
[screaming]
436
00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:01,906
Are you okay?
437
00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:03,386
-I'm okay, I'm okay.
-All right.
438
00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:05,258
I'm okay. [screams]
439
00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:07,129
[vampires hissing]
440
00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:08,696
Stay back! Get back!
441
00:18:08,739 --> 00:18:10,567
[screams]
442
00:18:10,611 --> 00:18:13,179
[shouting, clamoring]
443
00:18:13,222 --> 00:18:14,832
We have to go!
We have to go, sorry!
444
00:18:14,876 --> 00:18:15,964
[screams]
445
00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:17,183
[all hissing]
446
00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:20,011
[screams]
447
00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:24,755
CAMERAMAN:
Fuck!
448
00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:26,366
[shouting]
449
00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:28,716
SHANICE:
Where's Derek?
I couldn't find Derek!
450
00:18:28,759 --> 00:18:31,197
-It's too late for him now.
-Oh. Oh...
451
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:34,200
-[snarling nearby]
-[whimpering]
452
00:18:40,858 --> 00:18:44,079
We still have to get
the van back to Derek's mom.
453
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,515
CLAUDE:
Yep.
454
00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:48,388
Sir... bob
455
00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:50,085
gel...
456
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:54,307
dolph@yahoo.com.
457
00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:55,873
-There, it is done.
-[grunts]
458
00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:57,353
That is ten e-mails. [laughs]
459
00:18:57,397 --> 00:18:58,833
LASZLO:
So what do we do,
wait till sunrise?
460
00:18:58,876 --> 00:19:00,617
How do we know
that Sir Bob Geldolph
461
00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:02,619
-has that e-mail?
-Uh...
462
00:19:02,663 --> 00:19:04,447
-[nearby thud]
-Oh...
463
00:19:04,491 --> 00:19:06,667
Whoa, it's all right.
464
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:08,973
NADJA:
Oh, no!
465
00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:10,975
Don't fear, my darling.
466
00:19:11,019 --> 00:19:13,195
Laszlo, your forearm is
not curse-proof!
467
00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:15,110
Please!
468
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,547
All this is playing
havoc with my guts.
469
00:19:17,591 --> 00:19:19,549
Talking about guts,
I did tell you about Arianna
470
00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:21,986
-when her guts were dragged outon the doorstep?
-Yes, yes!
471
00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:23,988
No, no, no, please!
472
00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:26,382
Bloody Mary, have mercy on us!
473
00:19:26,426 --> 00:19:29,298
Do not rip our guts out!
474
00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:31,213
Guillermo?
475
00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:33,259
You scared the shit out of us!
476
00:19:33,302 --> 00:19:36,349
What was that dilly-dallying
at the door?
477
00:19:36,392 --> 00:19:38,481
Could you just come in
like a normal person?
478
00:19:38,525 --> 00:19:40,222
The door's getting stuck again.
479
00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:42,224
I like tie-dye--
have you been to a concert?
480
00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:43,704
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
481
00:19:43,747 --> 00:19:46,446
The Tide to go pens were
on sale, so you got some
482
00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:47,447
extra cash.
483
00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:49,927
Unforeseen riches.
484
00:19:49,971 --> 00:19:51,364
NADJA:
Oh, the curse!
485
00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:53,453
-It has lifted!
-[laughs]
486
00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:55,324
[all three clamoring]
487
00:19:57,544 --> 00:20:01,243
[stammers] You don't even know
what this is about.
488
00:20:01,287 --> 00:20:03,289
Laszlo, now, really?
489
00:20:03,332 --> 00:20:06,117
LASZLO:
Oh, yes.
490
00:20:06,161 --> 00:20:07,510
♪
491
00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:12,254
You know, while you were
out running your errand,
492
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:14,213
we were in very serious danger.
493
00:20:16,432 --> 00:20:18,521
Because of your machine.
494
00:20:18,565 --> 00:20:20,393
We could have been
killed tonight.
495
00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:22,133
Did you know that?
496
00:20:22,177 --> 00:20:24,875
It was really scary.
497
00:20:24,919 --> 00:20:26,399
I'm sorry, Master.
498
00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:28,401
Guillermo?
499
00:20:28,444 --> 00:20:30,141
Yes?
500
00:20:30,185 --> 00:20:32,100
Would you mind staying
for a few moments,
501
00:20:32,143 --> 00:20:34,320
just until I fall asleep?
502
00:20:34,363 --> 00:20:35,973
Of course.
503
00:20:36,017 --> 00:20:37,323
Thank you.
504
00:20:38,933 --> 00:20:40,326
Guillermo?
505
00:20:40,369 --> 00:20:41,501
Yes, Master?
506
00:20:43,372 --> 00:20:46,984
I don't wish to be murdered
in my slumber.
507
00:20:47,028 --> 00:20:48,421
I know it's a little silly,
508
00:20:48,464 --> 00:20:50,858
because we defeated the curse.
509
00:20:50,901 --> 00:20:53,861
But with that
and all these stories
510
00:20:53,904 --> 00:20:56,690
about vampires being murdered
511
00:20:56,733 --> 00:21:00,520
lately, I'm feeling a little...
512
00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:03,349
less fearless than I usually do.
513
00:21:03,392 --> 00:21:05,351
Just a little.
514
00:21:05,394 --> 00:21:07,178
-I'll stay, Master.
-Thank you.
515
00:21:22,629 --> 00:21:24,848
I'm not asleep yet, Guillermo!
516
00:21:33,248 --> 00:21:35,424
♪ I don't know how it♪
517
00:21:35,468 --> 00:21:40,124
♪ Done happened... ♪
518
00:21:40,168 --> 00:21:44,868
♪ The devil caught me napping♪
519
00:21:47,175 --> 00:21:51,222
♪ He must've come
without a-rapping♪
520
00:21:53,007 --> 00:21:56,663
♪ Without a-rapping on my door♪
521
00:21:59,056 --> 00:22:03,887
♪ And he done
took me flirting♪
522
00:22:05,672 --> 00:22:09,328
♪ But he and I♪
523
00:22:11,242 --> 00:22:15,159
♪ Don't talk no more♪
524
00:22:15,203 --> 00:22:17,118
♪ Baby, is you sure?♪
525
00:22:21,557 --> 00:22:24,038
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
526
00:22:26,519 --> 00:22:28,564
COLIN: They had come
highly recommended
527
00:22:28,608 --> 00:22:32,220
by a mutual vampire
associate of ours,
528
00:22:32,263 --> 00:22:34,614
but nevertheless,
I found it prudent
529
00:22:34,657 --> 00:22:36,877
-to run the traditional
credit checks...
-[yawns]
530
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:38,531
...and reference protocols.
531
00:22:38,574 --> 00:22:42,230
Suffice it to say,
I am part of the 33%
532
00:22:42,273 --> 00:22:46,321
who find it necessary to utilizemy complementary credit check
533
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:47,627
every year.
534
00:22:47,670 --> 00:22:49,759
[snoring]
535
00:22:49,803 --> 00:22:51,195
[hisses]
536
00:22:51,239 --> 00:22:52,675
[up-tempo music plays]
537
00:22:52,719 --> 00:22:53,937
[laughing]
538
00:22:54,851 --> 00:22:56,070
[squeaking]
539
00:22:57,724 --> 00:23:00,030
MAN: I had no idea
what I would find
540
00:23:00,074 --> 00:23:01,815
when I went searching
for my father.
541
00:23:01,858 --> 00:23:04,557
They flashed the Zodiac Killer,and my heart stopped.
542
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,516
WOMAN: He believes
he is the son of the Zodiac.
543
00:23:14,654 --> 00:23:15,698
What is Devs?
544
00:23:18,048 --> 00:23:19,572
What is Devs?
545
00:23:19,615 --> 00:23:20,442
What is Devs?
546
00:23:22,052 --> 00:23:23,706
What is Devs?
547
00:23:23,750 --> 00:23:24,664
[horn honks]
548
00:23:24,707 --> 00:23:25,534
What is Devs?
549
00:23:26,492 --> 00:23:27,493
What is Devs?
550
00:23:28,755 --> 00:23:29,495
What is Devs?
39931
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