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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:09,370 [man beatboxing] 2 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:15,170 - What are you doing here? 3 00:00:23,033 --> 00:00:26,173 Hello? 4 00:00:28,900 --> 00:00:31,830 What are you doing here? 5 00:00:31,833 --> 00:00:33,703 - Me? 6 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,400 W-what am I doing here? 7 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:39,330 - Yes. Why are you at a church rectory? 8 00:00:39,333 --> 00:00:41,433 - I'm Catholic. 9 00:00:41,433 --> 00:00:43,373 - Barely. 10 00:00:44,667 --> 00:00:46,797 - My wife made me come. 11 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,030 - Jeannie. Yes. 12 00:00:49,033 --> 00:00:51,103 I have a personal relationship with her. 13 00:00:51,100 --> 00:00:52,670 - Believe me, I've heard all about it. 14 00:00:52,667 --> 00:00:55,267 [chuckles] 15 00:00:55,267 --> 00:00:57,267 Well, you know-- you know, we-- 16 00:00:57,267 --> 00:00:59,567 you and I, we could hang out sometime. 17 00:00:59,567 --> 00:01:01,067 If you wanted. 18 00:01:01,067 --> 00:01:02,967 - Great. How about Sunday morning? 19 00:01:02,967 --> 00:01:03,967 [lamb bleating] 20 00:01:03,967 --> 00:01:06,267 - Morning? Well, I... 21 00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:09,667 I'm more of an afternoon guy, so... 22 00:01:09,667 --> 00:01:11,167 - Afternoon then. 23 00:01:11,167 --> 00:01:13,427 - Well, how--how early in the afternoon? 24 00:01:13,433 --> 00:01:15,673 'Cause I, um--you know, like, I'll get up, 25 00:01:15,667 --> 00:01:17,397 I'll make pancakes-- I'll make eggs, 26 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:18,470 and the kids won't even eat 'em. 27 00:01:18,467 --> 00:01:20,067 [lamb bleating] But... 28 00:01:20,067 --> 00:01:22,327 And then I'm full, so I'll take a nap, and... 29 00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:25,473 - You realize I died for your sins, right? 30 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,530 - I mean... 31 00:01:28,533 --> 00:01:31,773 Don't blame me. Blame your dad. Right? 32 00:01:31,767 --> 00:01:34,297 - Pathetic. 33 00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:36,430 But I still love you. 34 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:38,800 - Jim. 35 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:42,300 So glad you could come. 36 00:01:42,300 --> 00:01:43,500 Please, come inside. 37 00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:45,430 - Uh... 38 00:01:47,167 --> 00:01:48,297 [man beatboxing] 39 00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:51,130 - Please. Sit. 40 00:01:51,133 --> 00:01:56,473 41 00:01:56,467 --> 00:01:58,567 - Nice office. - Oh, thank you. 42 00:01:58,567 --> 00:02:00,567 Thank you. 43 00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:07,373 - She should be here any minute. 44 00:02:09,233 --> 00:02:11,073 So, uh... 45 00:02:11,067 --> 00:02:12,897 Is this the room where you write 46 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:15,230 your, uh, church speeches? 47 00:02:15,233 --> 00:02:17,373 - Yeah. 48 00:02:21,567 --> 00:02:23,927 - You watch "Game of Thrones"? 49 00:02:23,933 --> 00:02:25,733 - "Game of Thrones"? 50 00:02:25,733 --> 00:02:26,833 - It's on HBO. 51 00:02:26,833 --> 00:02:28,673 - Oh, no, no. I do not have cable. 52 00:02:28,667 --> 00:02:31,067 - Eh, it's-- it's just-- 53 00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:33,067 it's this show about dragons, 54 00:02:33,067 --> 00:02:34,927 and white walkers that are dead, 55 00:02:34,933 --> 00:02:36,933 and a bunch of naked people. 56 00:02:36,933 --> 00:02:38,403 - I see. 57 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,070 - I mean, I-I don't watch it for the naked people. 58 00:02:40,067 --> 00:02:41,497 You know what I mean? It's-- 59 00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:43,070 When a naked person comes on, I just 60 00:02:43,067 --> 00:02:45,267 go and get a snack. 61 00:02:45,267 --> 00:02:48,067 Not--not--not that naked people make me hungry. 62 00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:49,427 - Oh. Of course. 63 00:02:49,433 --> 00:02:51,603 - Season one had more, uh, naked people, you know. 64 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:54,330 All those premium cable shows think that 65 00:02:54,333 --> 00:02:56,403 we want the nudity. 66 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:57,900 I mean, sure, I'll see an actress, 67 00:02:57,900 --> 00:02:59,700 and I'll be curious what she looks like naked, 68 00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:02,470 but not in, like, a sinful way. 69 00:03:02,467 --> 00:03:03,467 Just more kind of, like, 70 00:03:03,467 --> 00:03:05,727 a scientific, artistic thing. 71 00:03:05,733 --> 00:03:07,273 Like, I've never done sculptures, 72 00:03:07,267 --> 00:03:09,727 but I've kind of considered 73 00:03:09,733 --> 00:03:11,773 what the--you know, the human form is beautif-- 74 00:03:11,767 --> 00:03:13,267 thank God. 75 00:03:13,267 --> 00:03:15,397 - Thank you so much for meeting with us, Father Nicholas. 76 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:18,070 - Of course. Anything for Jeannie and Jim. 77 00:03:18,067 --> 00:03:19,797 My favorite couple. - Oh. 78 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,700 Well, I'm-- I'm sure Jim explained 79 00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:24,070 why we needed to see you right away. 80 00:03:24,067 --> 00:03:25,827 - Uh...mm. 81 00:03:25,833 --> 00:03:28,633 - You--you didn't tell him why we're here? 82 00:03:28,633 --> 00:03:29,833 - Well, I thought-- I thought-- 83 00:03:29,833 --> 00:03:31,873 I thought you would want to tell him. 84 00:03:31,867 --> 00:03:35,197 - I think that you should tell him. 85 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,400 - No, you can--you can-- go ahead. 86 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:39,830 You can-- - Jim? 87 00:03:39,833 --> 00:03:41,873 - All right. Uh, the-- 88 00:03:41,867 --> 00:03:45,097 [sighs] The reason we wanted to talk to you 89 00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:48,070 is, um... 90 00:03:48,067 --> 00:03:49,297 I have no idea. 91 00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:51,400 What--why are we here? 92 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,200 - Our marriage is in trouble. 93 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,100 - It is? - Oh, my. 94 00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:56,900 - Father Nicholas? - Yes. 95 00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:59,530 - Father Chen has locked himself in the sacristy. 96 00:03:59,533 --> 00:04:00,873 - Again? 97 00:04:00,867 --> 00:04:01,967 [sighs] 98 00:04:01,967 --> 00:04:03,227 I am so sorry. 99 00:04:03,233 --> 00:04:04,333 Please, do not go away. 100 00:04:04,333 --> 00:04:05,633 I'll--I'll be right back. 101 00:04:05,633 --> 00:04:07,173 And we will get to the bottom of this. 102 00:04:07,167 --> 00:04:10,397 - Okay. 103 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,970 - "Our marriage is in trouble"? - Kind of. 104 00:04:12,967 --> 00:04:14,067 - What? - Yeah. 105 00:04:14,067 --> 00:04:15,297 Jim, we have issues. - [sighs] 106 00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:16,670 - We need help. 107 00:04:16,667 --> 00:04:18,367 - Why would be bring up our private, 108 00:04:18,367 --> 00:04:20,897 personal business in front of Father Nicholas? 109 00:04:20,900 --> 00:04:23,130 - He's our priest, Jim. - Exactly. 110 00:04:23,133 --> 00:04:25,833 What, we're supposed to take relationship advice 111 00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:28,303 from a guy who's not married and doesn't have kids? 112 00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:29,700 Why don't we just ask Dave? 113 00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:31,370 - Father Nicholas is in a relationship, Jim. 114 00:04:31,367 --> 00:04:33,267 With God. 115 00:04:33,267 --> 00:04:34,597 - Okay. 116 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,800 You know what happened to God's kid, right? 117 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:39,330 [footsteps] 118 00:04:39,333 --> 00:04:40,873 Well, he came back, but-- 119 00:04:40,867 --> 00:04:43,967 - All right. 120 00:04:43,967 --> 00:04:45,827 Where were we? 121 00:04:45,833 --> 00:04:47,833 - Uh, I believe 122 00:04:47,833 --> 00:04:50,573 we were-- Jeannie was overreacting? 123 00:04:50,567 --> 00:04:51,867 - [sighs] - As usual? 124 00:04:51,867 --> 00:04:53,897 - Father Nicholas, we're fighting. 125 00:04:53,900 --> 00:04:56,070 A lot. We can't agree on anything. 126 00:04:56,067 --> 00:04:57,627 We're fighting in front of the children. 127 00:04:57,633 --> 00:04:59,803 - Well, to be fair, they fight in front of us too. 128 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,370 - Anyway, the-- the main reason we're here 129 00:05:02,367 --> 00:05:05,267 is... 130 00:05:05,267 --> 00:05:06,367 well, it's him. 131 00:05:06,367 --> 00:05:09,197 - Me? [chuckles] Why? 132 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,430 I mean, I--I know it's me, 133 00:05:11,433 --> 00:05:13,173 but what specifically? 134 00:05:13,167 --> 00:05:16,227 - You're totally dismissive of my feelings. 135 00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:18,103 - [scoffs] You're just tired. 136 00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:19,400 She gets-- - See? No. 137 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:20,570 That's how he handles everything. 138 00:05:20,567 --> 00:05:21,727 - What? - Tells me I'm tired! 139 00:05:21,733 --> 00:05:22,973 - You don't get tired? - Okay. 140 00:05:22,967 --> 00:05:26,097 Uh, was there a specific incident 141 00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:27,270 that brought you here today? 142 00:05:27,267 --> 00:05:28,267 - Not really. - Yes. 143 00:05:28,267 --> 00:05:29,367 Jim. 144 00:05:29,367 --> 00:05:31,567 We had a huge fight yesterday. 145 00:05:31,567 --> 00:05:34,367 I asked Jim if he would help me fold the laundry... 146 00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:36,327 - Ah, ha, ha, ha! 147 00:05:36,333 --> 00:05:39,103 - But he was more interested in watching TV and eating. 148 00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:40,470 - [belching] 149 00:05:40,467 --> 00:05:41,827 [grunting] 150 00:05:41,833 --> 00:05:42,833 [farting] 151 00:05:42,833 --> 00:05:43,833 [groaning] 152 00:05:43,833 --> 00:05:44,633 [sniffling] 153 00:05:44,633 --> 00:05:46,073 [eating loudly] 154 00:05:46,067 --> 00:05:47,527 - He wouldn't help me do anything. 155 00:05:47,533 --> 00:05:50,333 [knocking on door] 156 00:05:50,333 --> 00:05:52,373 - Get the door! 157 00:05:52,367 --> 00:05:55,267 - I know I'm not perfect, but Jim is out of control 158 00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:57,867 with the constant eating. 159 00:05:57,867 --> 00:05:59,497 - Oh, no. We didn't order this. 160 00:05:59,500 --> 00:06:01,230 This must be for someone else. 161 00:06:01,233 --> 00:06:03,573 - No! 162 00:06:03,567 --> 00:06:06,167 I want that food! 163 00:06:06,167 --> 00:06:07,667 [growling] 164 00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:09,097 - Far be it from me to be judgmental, 165 00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:10,730 but I don't think he's living 166 00:06:10,733 --> 00:06:12,303 a healthy lifestyle. 167 00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:15,430 - [groaning] 168 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,170 - Plus, sometimes, he yells at our kids. 169 00:06:20,167 --> 00:06:23,697 - [roaring] 170 00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:26,330 - Daddy, can we have some food please? 171 00:06:26,333 --> 00:06:28,633 - No! It's mine! 172 00:06:28,633 --> 00:06:32,303 All mine! [laughing] 173 00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:34,970 [groaning] 174 00:06:34,967 --> 00:06:37,727 [yelling] 175 00:06:37,733 --> 00:06:39,603 - But the real issue is that we're just 176 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,670 running out of space in our apartment. 177 00:06:42,667 --> 00:06:45,867 [man beatboxing] 178 00:06:45,867 --> 00:06:52,627 179 00:06:52,633 --> 00:06:54,603 [sighs] Jim, can I please throw out 180 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:56,530 some of these pizza boxes? 181 00:06:56,533 --> 00:06:58,133 - That's my collection! 182 00:06:58,133 --> 00:07:02,373 This stuff's still good. Look, this is still good. 183 00:07:02,367 --> 00:07:04,127 Go to the closet and get me 184 00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:06,233 a bag of Tostitos. 185 00:07:06,233 --> 00:07:08,733 - Why are you keeping Tostitos in the closet? 186 00:07:08,733 --> 00:07:10,103 - [mocking voice] Why are you keeping... 187 00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:12,370 Just get it! 188 00:07:12,367 --> 00:07:13,827 - Okay... 189 00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:15,073 Jeez! 190 00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:16,767 - Be careful! My God! - Okay. Okay. 191 00:07:16,767 --> 00:07:19,897 - You're so clumsy! 192 00:07:21,533 --> 00:07:24,773 [screaming] 193 00:07:24,767 --> 00:07:28,197 - Jim, I think it might be time for us to get a storage unit. 194 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:29,730 - A storage unit? 195 00:07:29,733 --> 00:07:32,103 That's the most cockamamie idea I've ever heard. 196 00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:36,400 - Jim, look around you. This place looks like a Costco. 197 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:37,970 - What's wrong with Costco? 198 00:07:37,967 --> 00:07:40,267 We'd have plenty of room in here if you just listened 199 00:07:40,267 --> 00:07:42,667 to my idea about changing the kids' room 200 00:07:42,667 --> 00:07:44,727 into a second kitchen. It would be beautiful. 201 00:07:44,733 --> 00:07:46,873 Armando, can you make me some pasta? 202 00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,897 I like the ravioli and the tortellini mixed together. 203 00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:51,770 - No, no, no! Armando, stop making pasta for Jim! 204 00:07:51,767 --> 00:07:55,897 That's enough. Put the spoon down! 205 00:07:55,900 --> 00:07:59,330 - Jim, this is disgusting. You look like Jabba the Hutt. 206 00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:00,973 - I think that guy's so cool. 207 00:08:00,967 --> 00:08:02,697 That's not what happened at all. 208 00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:04,800 Although, the pasta station-- 209 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,970 I mean, we've all thought about that, right? 210 00:08:06,967 --> 00:08:09,767 Look, I can save us a lot of time. 211 00:08:09,767 --> 00:08:11,327 The real reason we're here, 212 00:08:11,333 --> 00:08:13,933 illustrated by Jeannie's story, 213 00:08:13,933 --> 00:08:16,803 is...Jeannie's a little crazy. 214 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,930 I love you, but you're a little bit-- 215 00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:20,703 - Jim, you can't-- - She should be in a loony bin. 216 00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,700 - No! - She's not crazy. 217 00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:25,430 - Jim, I saw-- you just winked at him. 218 00:08:25,433 --> 00:08:27,433 - There was a fly that went in my eye. 219 00:08:27,433 --> 00:08:29,373 - There wasn't! - I can--look. 220 00:08:29,367 --> 00:08:31,097 Here's what really happened. 221 00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:33,300 I was helping Jeannie fold the laundry... 222 00:08:33,300 --> 00:08:36,570 - Jim, get your eyes off the TV and get back to your chores. 223 00:08:36,567 --> 00:08:38,697 - I wasn't...[sighs]. 224 00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:41,970 Can I please have a morsel of food? 225 00:08:41,967 --> 00:08:44,767 - Maybe--maybe after you change every single child's diaper. 226 00:08:44,767 --> 00:08:46,967 - But nothing I do is ever good enough for her. 227 00:08:46,967 --> 00:08:48,267 [knocking on door] - James! 228 00:08:48,267 --> 00:08:49,727 There is a knock at the door. 229 00:08:49,733 --> 00:08:51,273 Go and get the door! Go! - I'm sorry! 230 00:08:51,267 --> 00:08:53,227 - Come on! Quicker! Quicker! Quicker! Quicker! 231 00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:56,233 - And there are kids, like, everywhere. 232 00:08:58,100 --> 00:09:00,630 - Did you leave the peanut butter out again? 233 00:09:00,633 --> 00:09:03,273 [kids shouting] 234 00:09:03,267 --> 00:09:05,167 - Oh. We're keeping them. - But-- 235 00:09:05,167 --> 00:09:07,367 - Go on, introduce them to the rest of your children. 236 00:09:07,367 --> 00:09:08,567 - B-b-b-wha... 237 00:09:08,567 --> 00:09:10,927 W-we're running out of space! 238 00:09:10,933 --> 00:09:14,133 [man beatboxing] 239 00:09:14,133 --> 00:09:15,503 240 00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:18,670 Hi. I'll call you Bill. 241 00:09:18,667 --> 00:09:20,727 So basically, there's no room for me 242 00:09:20,733 --> 00:09:23,703 in my own apartment. 243 00:09:23,700 --> 00:09:25,270 But... 244 00:09:25,267 --> 00:09:31,327 245 00:09:31,333 --> 00:09:33,873 This is my side of the bed! 246 00:09:33,867 --> 00:09:35,667 - No, this is a family bed, Jim. 247 00:09:35,667 --> 00:09:38,067 - A family bed? 248 00:09:38,067 --> 00:09:40,067 - You know, we should probably have another kid soon. 249 00:09:40,067 --> 00:09:42,427 We haven't had a baby in about six weeks. 250 00:09:42,433 --> 00:09:44,473 - What? Are you serious? 251 00:09:44,467 --> 00:09:46,897 That's--that's insane! 252 00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:50,070 I can't even move in here! I need space! 253 00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:51,667 - Oh, okay. You need more space? 254 00:09:51,667 --> 00:09:54,267 Maybe you should throw out that box of junk over there. 255 00:09:54,267 --> 00:09:56,367 - But...what is... 256 00:09:56,367 --> 00:09:58,267 My coffee cup? 257 00:09:58,267 --> 00:09:59,997 This is my laptop. 258 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,270 - Do you really need that stuff? 259 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,527 - Wait, these are my keys to the apartment. 260 00:10:03,533 --> 00:10:05,973 - Fine, if you insist, I guess we should talk about 261 00:10:05,967 --> 00:10:07,997 renting a storage unit. 262 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,630 - That's insane-- we're already paying rent 263 00:10:10,633 --> 00:10:12,433 for a Manhattan apartment. 264 00:10:12,433 --> 00:10:14,403 I'm not renting a storage space. 265 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:17,000 You--you got to stop collecting all this stuff. 266 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:20,570 - "Stuff"? Stu--our children are "Stuff"? 267 00:10:20,567 --> 00:10:23,297 [children screaming] 268 00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:26,030 You know what? Tonight, you're sleeping in the storage unit! 269 00:10:26,033 --> 00:10:27,373 - We're not getting a storage space. 270 00:10:27,367 --> 00:10:29,167 - We absolutely are getting a storage space. 271 00:10:29,167 --> 00:10:31,427 - No. No, we're--we can't get a storage space. 272 00:10:31,433 --> 00:10:34,533 - You get in the naughty chair. You get a time-out, mister! 273 00:10:34,533 --> 00:10:35,803 Go! Go! - [whimpering] All right. 274 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,500 I'll take the naughty chair. 275 00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:40,070 - That never happened. 276 00:10:40,067 --> 00:10:42,227 - You believe what you want. I'll stick to the truth. 277 00:10:42,233 --> 00:10:44,403 - Sometimes, when people are angry, 278 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:47,400 it's very difficult to remember events clearly. 279 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,330 Why don't you two cooperate 280 00:10:49,333 --> 00:10:51,133 and tell me about the storage unit? 281 00:10:51,133 --> 00:10:53,073 - The--we're not getting a storage unit. 282 00:10:53,067 --> 00:10:56,427 - We are absolutely getting a storage unit. 283 00:10:56,433 --> 00:10:59,173 - Okay. We're getting... 284 00:10:59,167 --> 00:11:01,727 - Did you just wink again? - No. 285 00:11:01,733 --> 00:11:03,373 - We are getting a storage unit. 286 00:11:03,367 --> 00:11:05,767 - All right, you want a-- you want a storage unit? 287 00:11:05,767 --> 00:11:07,467 Here's an imaginary storage unit. 288 00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:09,327 Here's a key for your imaginary storage unit. 289 00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:11,833 - I don't want an imaginary storage u-- 290 00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:13,233 this is stu--why am I-- 291 00:11:13,233 --> 00:11:14,733 - See, now we're gonna lose the key. 292 00:11:14,733 --> 00:11:16,203 - No, Jim, it's a fake key. 293 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:17,700 It was a mimed key. - This is why--I don't-- 294 00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:19,100 - This is what I'm talking about! 295 00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:20,900 - If you can't-- - He's not respect-- 296 00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:22,930 he's calling it an imaginary-- - If you can't take care-- 297 00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:24,073 - I don't want an imaginary storage unit. 298 00:11:27,067 --> 00:11:28,467 - Not have any type of comfort? - How your life-- 299 00:11:28,467 --> 00:11:29,827 - I'm not--oh-- - That's why it's hard-- 300 00:11:29,833 --> 00:11:31,173 for people-- - That's it. 301 00:11:31,167 --> 00:11:32,727 - They need to sort of adjust to a life 302 00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:34,333 where there's lots of items-- - Okay. Okay. Okay. 303 00:11:34,333 --> 00:11:36,603 Take turns telling the story. 304 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:39,570 Work together. 305 00:11:39,567 --> 00:11:41,667 - Yesterday. 306 00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:43,367 3:00 p.m. - It was 4:30. 307 00:11:43,367 --> 00:11:45,067 - Would you--what are you-- - That's important! 308 00:11:45,067 --> 00:11:46,267 - What are you, the clock police? 309 00:11:46,267 --> 00:11:47,597 - I-- - Please, please, please. 310 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:48,870 Go on. 311 00:11:48,867 --> 00:11:51,127 - Jeannie wanted me to fold laundry 312 00:11:51,133 --> 00:11:52,773 instead of watching the game. 313 00:11:52,767 --> 00:11:54,067 - I said that you could fold laundry 314 00:11:54,067 --> 00:11:55,727 while you watched the game. 315 00:11:55,733 --> 00:11:58,073 - What am I, a multi-tasking wizard? 316 00:11:58,067 --> 00:12:00,227 - You eat and watch TV all the time. 317 00:12:00,233 --> 00:12:01,573 - That's different. That's a skill. 318 00:12:01,567 --> 00:12:03,297 - Focus. - It's something I'm gifted at. 319 00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:06,170 - Focus. - Anyway... 320 00:12:06,167 --> 00:12:07,527 - You know what it was kind of like? 321 00:12:07,533 --> 00:12:09,503 Do you remember that one apartment Daniel showed us 322 00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:11,270 in the East Village that was so perfect, 323 00:12:11,267 --> 00:12:13,067 but it just wasn't right? 324 00:12:13,067 --> 00:12:14,427 - I think so. 325 00:12:14,433 --> 00:12:17,073 - We should probably have Trevor over at some point. 326 00:12:17,067 --> 00:12:19,097 - Who's Trevor? - Daniel's boyfriend. 327 00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:22,630 Jim, don't wipe your mouth on the laundry. 328 00:12:22,633 --> 00:12:24,933 - Fine. I thought you wanted my help. 329 00:12:24,933 --> 00:12:26,733 - Oh, my God. 330 00:12:26,733 --> 00:12:28,073 Jim. 331 00:12:28,067 --> 00:12:29,697 - I don't think that fits me anymore. 332 00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:32,230 - I can't believe Maggie's out of 3-6 months already. 333 00:12:32,233 --> 00:12:34,603 How did that happen? - I'm no medical expert, 334 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:37,570 but I think a baby growing is actually a good thing. 335 00:12:37,567 --> 00:12:39,797 - It just went by really fast. 336 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,730 I got to figure out where I'm gonna put these baby clothes, 337 00:12:41,733 --> 00:12:44,433 because the kids' closet is full and the back closet 338 00:12:44,433 --> 00:12:46,233 has a huge box of Tostitos in it. 339 00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:48,273 - I did one Tweet and they sent me a box. 340 00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:49,727 You know what? We should-- 341 00:12:49,733 --> 00:12:51,603 we should get rid of all these clothes, you know? 342 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:53,770 Now that there's no more kids to hand them down to, 343 00:12:53,767 --> 00:12:56,927 we should donate them to the church charity drive. 344 00:12:56,933 --> 00:13:00,203 - Jim, you actually thought of the church charity drive? 345 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,130 - That's not exactly what he said. 346 00:13:02,133 --> 00:13:03,803 - You know what? Toss that onesie in the garbage 347 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:06,470 with all the other crap we're never gonna use. 348 00:13:06,467 --> 00:13:08,167 - Jim, I'm not gonna throw it away. 349 00:13:08,167 --> 00:13:10,497 We might need it. - What for? 350 00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:13,170 - I just think it's time we got a storage space. 351 00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:15,527 [knocking on door] - [sighs] 352 00:13:15,533 --> 00:13:19,473 I'm not paying a stranger to hold onto our garbage. 353 00:13:19,467 --> 00:13:21,567 - So you won't pay for a storage unit, 354 00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:23,497 but how many burgers do you eat in a day? 355 00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:25,470 - Oh, so now eating is a luxury? 356 00:13:25,467 --> 00:13:27,627 - When you have eight meals a day it is. 357 00:13:27,633 --> 00:13:31,073 - I work at night! - So you have to keep eating? 358 00:13:31,067 --> 00:13:32,327 - Yeah! You know what? 359 00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:34,103 Napoleon used to eat a burger 360 00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:35,630 every night at 2 a.m. 361 00:13:35,633 --> 00:13:38,273 - That is not even true! - It could be. 362 00:13:38,267 --> 00:13:40,797 We don't know. There was like a history special on-- 363 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:42,270 anyway, even if he did, 364 00:13:42,267 --> 00:13:43,867 he would have been happier. 365 00:13:43,867 --> 00:13:44,967 And probably taller. 366 00:13:44,967 --> 00:13:47,927 And this is my side of the bed. 367 00:13:47,933 --> 00:13:49,273 - Jim, where do you expect us 368 00:13:49,267 --> 00:13:51,127 to put our children's clothes? 369 00:13:51,133 --> 00:13:52,303 - Oh our children! 370 00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:53,630 And then when they grow out of them, 371 00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:54,803 we throw them out! 372 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,400 Why would we need to hold onto baby clothes 373 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,800 when our last kid grew out of them? 374 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,400 - Who says it's our last kid? 375 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:03,570 - Okay. Now we're getting somewhere. 376 00:14:03,567 --> 00:14:05,067 Huh? 377 00:14:05,067 --> 00:14:07,367 Have the two of you discussed having more children? 378 00:14:07,367 --> 00:14:09,267 - No. - Yes. 379 00:14:09,267 --> 00:14:10,267 - Yes. - No. 380 00:14:10,267 --> 00:14:12,067 [man beatboxing] 381 00:14:12,067 --> 00:14:15,097 - Ah. 382 00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:16,470 I see. 383 00:14:19,533 --> 00:14:21,073 - When I counsel couples during Pre-Cana, 384 00:14:21,067 --> 00:14:23,567 who wish to receive the holy sacrament of matrimony, 385 00:14:23,567 --> 00:14:26,267 I stress that communication between spouses 386 00:14:26,267 --> 00:14:27,827 is of the utmost importance. 387 00:14:27,833 --> 00:14:30,933 - Wait, you're not suggesting we re-do that Pre-Cana thing? 388 00:14:30,933 --> 00:14:33,403 'Cause that was really boring. - Jim! 389 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,370 - And how many of those couples are still married, right? 390 00:14:36,367 --> 00:14:39,297 - Pre-Cana is supposed to be a time for engaged couples 391 00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:41,070 to learn to have ongoing discussions about 392 00:14:41,067 --> 00:14:44,797 the most important issues, such as planning a family. 393 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:48,070 - But we did discuss planning a family, Father. 394 00:14:48,067 --> 00:14:49,467 Very early on in our relationship. 395 00:14:49,467 --> 00:14:51,897 I remember exactly how it happened. 396 00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:55,070 - See that woman over there? She lives in my neighborhood. 397 00:14:55,067 --> 00:14:56,767 - That supermodel? 398 00:14:56,767 --> 00:15:00,927 - She's got to be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. 399 00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:04,103 I mean, I've dated women, but none of those skanks 400 00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:07,530 meant a thing, especially not Kim. 401 00:15:07,533 --> 00:15:10,903 What a waste of two years. 402 00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:12,370 - Kim? - All right. 403 00:15:12,367 --> 00:15:13,797 You're embellishing here. 404 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,830 Let's be realistic. - All right, fine. 405 00:15:15,833 --> 00:15:20,203 Jim and I met at this bar called the Peculier Pub. 406 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,830 - See that girl over there? She lives in my neighborhood. 407 00:15:22,833 --> 00:15:24,273 She's kind of cute. 408 00:15:24,267 --> 00:15:26,127 - Yeah, if you go in for that type. 409 00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:29,973 - What types is that? - I don't know. Respectable. 410 00:15:29,967 --> 00:15:31,827 [bar chatter] 411 00:15:31,833 --> 00:15:33,803 - She's got a boyfriend. 412 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,670 [bar chatter] 413 00:15:35,667 --> 00:15:38,067 - I don't know, boyfriend looks a little preoccupied. 414 00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:40,797 Why don't you bust a move? - I'd need five more beers 415 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:43,970 to get the confidence to talk to a girl like that. 416 00:15:43,967 --> 00:15:45,367 "Bust a move"? - Yeah. 417 00:15:45,367 --> 00:15:47,167 I'm pretty sure he said something like that. 418 00:15:47,167 --> 00:15:48,627 - No way. - Anyway. 419 00:15:48,633 --> 00:15:51,073 - You're--you're so beautiful. 420 00:15:51,067 --> 00:15:52,627 - Oh. 421 00:15:52,633 --> 00:15:55,073 - I want to get married to you. 422 00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:57,467 And have six kids. 423 00:15:57,467 --> 00:16:00,797 - Married? I just met you. 424 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:02,770 And--and I'm not sure if I want to have kids. 425 00:16:02,767 --> 00:16:04,267 - Seven kids! 426 00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:05,967 I hate Kim. 427 00:16:05,967 --> 00:16:07,427 That's not how I remember it. 428 00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:08,973 - But you said seven kids. 429 00:16:08,967 --> 00:16:13,327 - Who is this Kim? - She's a total slut. 430 00:16:13,333 --> 00:16:14,333 Sorry, Father. 431 00:16:14,333 --> 00:16:15,973 - Kim is not important. 432 00:16:15,967 --> 00:16:18,067 And I never said seven kids. 433 00:16:18,067 --> 00:16:19,797 How I remember it is... 434 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,470 - So, that's why I'm starting a not-for-profit 435 00:16:22,467 --> 00:16:24,567 theater arts program for urban youth, 436 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:26,567 like a ton of urban youth. 437 00:16:26,567 --> 00:16:28,127 And we're gonna be global! 438 00:16:28,133 --> 00:16:29,303 - Mmm. 439 00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:30,570 - And then I can totally see myself 440 00:16:30,567 --> 00:16:32,097 having like six babies. 441 00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:33,630 Right? - Mm-hmm. 442 00:16:33,633 --> 00:16:34,973 Are we supposed to feel guilty 443 00:16:34,967 --> 00:16:36,497 about eating baby chicken legs? 444 00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:38,330 'Cause I don't. [chuckles] 445 00:16:38,333 --> 00:16:41,633 - So which church do you go to? - Huh? 446 00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:43,233 - So you haven't even talked about 447 00:16:43,233 --> 00:16:46,273 the number of kids you wanted to have since your first date? 448 00:16:46,267 --> 00:16:47,527 - Well, to be fair, I don't really 449 00:16:47,533 --> 00:16:49,503 consider that to be our first date. 450 00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:52,070 A week later, Jim took me to this cute little 451 00:16:52,067 --> 00:16:53,197 vegan place in SoHo... 452 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:54,670 - Jeannie, I'm sorry, but 453 00:16:54,667 --> 00:16:56,797 we do not have time for another flashback right now. 454 00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:58,670 - Oh, no, no, no, but it's such a good story. 455 00:16:58,667 --> 00:17:00,297 - Look, Father, you're right. 456 00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:02,130 We really haven't discussed this at all. 457 00:17:02,133 --> 00:17:05,273 - We--we've been busy since we got married. 458 00:17:05,267 --> 00:17:06,667 - Yeah. She keeps getting pregnant. 459 00:17:06,667 --> 00:17:08,567 - How about you keep getting me pregnant? 460 00:17:08,567 --> 00:17:10,527 - Well, how about you wanted it? - Ah, ah. 461 00:17:10,533 --> 00:17:12,233 Why don't you discuss it now? 462 00:17:12,233 --> 00:17:16,633 [chuckles] There's no time like the present. 463 00:17:16,633 --> 00:17:18,073 - You really don't want any more kids? 464 00:17:18,067 --> 00:17:19,627 - No, I never said that. 465 00:17:19,633 --> 00:17:23,073 I just--I--I didn't know we were trying. 466 00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:24,467 - I never said I was trying. 467 00:17:24,467 --> 00:17:27,067 - This is why communication is so important. 468 00:17:27,067 --> 00:17:28,667 - What do you think we should do, Father? 469 00:17:28,667 --> 00:17:30,967 - Now hold on. He's a Catholic priest. 470 00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:34,297 He probably thinks we should have ten more kids. 471 00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:35,630 - Jim, I did not know that 472 00:17:35,633 --> 00:17:37,773 you're an expert on Catholic theology. 473 00:17:37,767 --> 00:17:39,697 - Well, wouldn't say I'm an expert-- 474 00:17:39,700 --> 00:17:42,230 - I was being wildly sarcastic, Jim. 475 00:17:42,233 --> 00:17:43,833 - Oh, zing. - Mm. 476 00:17:43,833 --> 00:17:45,403 Just because you're Catholic doesn't mean 477 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,770 that you should keep blindly having children. 478 00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:50,767 The most important thing for a successful marriage 479 00:17:50,767 --> 00:17:52,427 is unity. 480 00:17:52,433 --> 00:17:55,233 - So, what I think you're saying is... 481 00:17:55,233 --> 00:17:56,503 no storage unit. 482 00:17:56,500 --> 00:17:58,170 - Jim...the... 483 00:17:58,167 --> 00:17:59,467 - All right, fine. 484 00:17:59,467 --> 00:18:01,197 No storage unit. 485 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:02,970 - Jim, I-- 486 00:18:02,967 --> 00:18:06,097 I never said that I was trying for another baby. 487 00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:09,230 I just...I thought we might. 488 00:18:09,233 --> 00:18:11,703 And I got--I got freaked out when I saw that onesie, 489 00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:13,370 because Maggie's growing really fast, 490 00:18:13,367 --> 00:18:16,067 and it's strange to think of her as our last baby. 491 00:18:16,067 --> 00:18:20,597 - Well, maybe she's not the last baby. 492 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,770 I might have babies with other women. 493 00:18:23,767 --> 00:18:24,927 - [laughs] 494 00:18:24,933 --> 00:18:26,503 - No-- - I mean--no, she might be. 495 00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,170 And I need to get used to the fact 496 00:18:28,167 --> 00:18:30,497 that babies grow up, and they don't always 497 00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:33,400 need to be held and cuddled all the time. 498 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:34,730 - Well, who knows. 499 00:18:34,733 --> 00:18:37,273 Maybe there...there'll be a number six. 500 00:18:37,267 --> 00:18:40,197 - Uh, but before you rush into any decisions, 501 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,330 maybe you can get a puppy! 502 00:18:42,333 --> 00:18:44,533 - [gasps] - Oh, no can do, Father. 503 00:18:44,533 --> 00:18:46,103 This one doesn't have a heart for animals. 504 00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:47,600 - No! What? 505 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:50,130 You're the one who eats every animal you see. 506 00:18:50,133 --> 00:18:52,503 I'd get a puppy. I love puppies. 507 00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:53,830 [puppy barking] 508 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:57,133 [dogs barking] 509 00:18:57,133 --> 00:18:59,303 - Jim, can we keep them? 510 00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:01,070 - Ah... 511 00:19:01,067 --> 00:19:02,797 [dogs barking] 512 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,070 Maybe we should hold off on getting a puppy. 513 00:19:05,067 --> 00:19:06,767 How about a pig? 514 00:19:06,767 --> 00:19:08,967 Then when it dies, we can have bacon. 515 00:19:11,967 --> 00:19:13,297 - Okay. 516 00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:15,130 - We'll see you on Sunday. - Yes, you will. 517 00:19:15,133 --> 00:19:16,633 - Thanks. - You're welcome. 518 00:19:16,633 --> 00:19:19,773 And remember: you love each other. 519 00:19:23,367 --> 00:19:26,497 - I'm sorry I said you were crazy. 520 00:19:28,933 --> 00:19:31,233 That was in your bag the whole time? 521 00:19:31,233 --> 00:19:32,733 That's nuts. 522 00:19:32,733 --> 00:19:34,603 - If we have another child, so be it. 523 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:38,500 We'll buy another stupid onesie. 524 00:19:41,367 --> 00:19:42,897 - Wow. 525 00:19:42,900 --> 00:19:44,500 - But we are getting the storage unit. 526 00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:47,500 [man beatboxing] 527 00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:52,130 528 00:19:52,133 --> 00:19:53,933 - [sighs] 529 00:19:53,933 --> 00:20:01,873 530 00:20:04,567 --> 00:20:06,597 - Nice. 531 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:10,030 532 00:20:10,033 --> 00:20:11,873 - Saw that coming. 533 00:20:11,867 --> 00:20:12,997 - Jesus. [lamb bleating] 534 00:20:16,533 --> 00:20:19,533 [man scatting] 535 00:20:19,533 --> 00:20:22,533 [man singing indistinctly] 536 00:20:22,533 --> 00:20:25,533 [mellow jazzy music] 537 00:20:25,533 --> 00:20:33,673 37964

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