Original subtitles

(FLIES BUZZING)

(CROWS CAWING)

(BABY COOING)

Ting! Ting!

(BABY COOING)

Our villagewas slaughtered

because we rebelledagainst a corrupt government.

Now, I'm the last,

and must go into hiding.

But you, my son...(BABY GURGLES)

I will leave it...

To you to decideyour own fate.

If you choose the sword,

we will liveand fight together.

But if you chooseyour favorite toy,

I will send youto heaven to join...

Your beautiful mother.

(GRUNTING)

(GROANS)

(CRYING)Shed no more tears,my son.

From this day forward,

we shed only the bloodof our enemies.

(WHINNIES)

No! No, I'm too late!They're dead!

Please forgive me.Forgive me!

It's all my fault.

Ying Lee,you're not to blame.

I learned ofthe government's plans.

I tried to get hereto warn you,

but I was too late.

You did allthat you could.

Now you must save yourself.

But what about you?

I will be all right.

No, you won't!

(GRUNTS)

(ALL SHOUTING)

(ALL GRUNTING)

(ALL GRUNTING)

(CRYING)

You coward!(YELLS)

Why have you betrayed us?

The government is too powerfulfor us to fight,

so I have chosento side with them.

My family is dead!

They got in the wayof the new dynasty.

(GRUNTS)

(YELLS)(GRUNTS)

How can you do this?

Because you've gota bounty on your head.

For money?

Can you thinkof a better reason?

(GRUNTS)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(PANTING)

(CRIES OUT)

Argh!

(SQUELCHES)

(GROANING)

(GROANING)

(GROANING)

(BELL RINGING)

(GROANING IN PAIN)

Why did the master putthose tattoos on us?

Because now we have five partsof a map on our backs.

And that map is the keyto the Shaolin treasure.

Uh, that way the governmentcan't find it.

Fong's right.They'd have to catch us all.BOY: Hey, wait a minute!

I don't want a treasure mapon my back.

Hey! Quit worrying.

There's no waythey're gonna catch us all.

Yeah, but what ifthey come after us?

He's right, Chiu.What if somebodywants the map?

What do we do?Come on.

We'll kick their ass!

We're Shaolin warriors.

My back is still sorefrom yesterday, Dad.

The monks putthese tattoos...

Don't speak of the tattoos.Do you hear me?

Don't breathea word of it.

I don't want anyone to knowyou go to Shaolin.

Why not, Dad?

What's wrongwith Shaolin, huh?

Listen up!

We keep it quietout here

because you never know.

Any one of these peopleout here could be a spy

for the government.

You're afraidof the government?

Well...(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Let's just say

I don't want the governmentto confiscate all my wealth.

You know, if they knewthat I was raisinga little rabble-rouser,

the first thing they'd dois they'd take everything.

So, you see, let's just keepeverything that happensin the Shaolin temple

between you and me, okay?

All right.Let's get someice cream. Come on.

Excuse me.How much are the pears?Two cents each.

Give me twothen, please.

Make it one.

(CRYING)

No! My poor, dead mother.

What am I gonna do?

Ting, I have to go in hereand talk to your uncle.

Stay out here and don't moveuntil I call you.

MAN 1: How sad.Her mother's dead.

MAN 2: And she's too poorto pay for the funeral.

MAN 3: If I had money,I'd help her out.

Hey, now, listen.

I'm charitableas the next guy,

but I've heard tell

of a mother-daughter team,con artists,

who go from town to town.

They pull these scamsand steal people's money.

She's too prettyto be a thief, huh?

The prettier they are,the more devious.

Am I right, fellas?CROWD: Yeah!

MAN 4: Let's get out of here.

Argh! (GROANS)

Let's get you to a doctor.

Look at him.

He hasn't movedfor 10 minutes.

Hey,we'll make you move.Let's do it!

(ALL GIGGLING)

I'm sorry, Han, for comingto see you here like this.

Think nothing of it.You and I are brothers.

I've missed youall of these years.

I know that you'vebeen in hiding,

and, well, if there'sanything I can do to help,

you let me know.

I don't mean to involveyou in my troubles,

but I'm very concernedfor my son's safety.

Can you please take careof Ting for me, my brother?

Of course!

What kind of unclewould I be if I didn't?

Did you hear there's to bea raid on the Shaolin temple?

A raid?The government islooking for a map.

It shows the locationof the rebel treasure.

They'll...

They'll do anythingto find it.

Hey, what's your name, huh?

I'm called Red Bean.Ah.

Miss Red Bean!

(GASPS, GIGGLES)

I want to help you.

First, I'll payfor your mom's funeral.

Then, I'll make you my wife.

Come on! Give me a break.

What does she wanta fat slob like you for?

What's that?

This is my business.Move along.

(SNICKERS)What's your choice, sweetie?

A cream puffor a real man?

Unhand her!Huh?

(GRUNTS)

Hey, cheese wad!

(CHUCKLES) Now,don't be angry here.

We're both gentlemen.

I'm sure we canwork something out.

It's best if you leaveTing here and be moving on.

Hey, Ting.

(GRUNTS)

I thought I couldtrust my brother.

How could you betray me?

I'm sorry,

but the rewardon your head is great.

I should have suspected

when you mentionedthe treasure.

Say what?

The Shaolintreasure map

is a very closelyguarded secret...

Known onlyto a few rebels...

And those who havebecome government spies.

You are correct.

But without your spear,how will you stop me?

Huh?

My spear!

(GRUNTING)

Here it is, Dad!

(ALL GRUNTING)

Hello, uncle.

Kwun, please show mercyon your misguided brother.

Nephew, please askyour father for mercy.

Remember, there is nothingmore important than family.(BROTHER GRUNTING)

(SCREAMING)

(CROWD GASPS)

(YELLS)

(GRUNTS)

(CROWD GASPING)

That's my bodyguard.

So, still want to fight?Huh?

(GRUNTS MENACINGLY)

Don't move, honey,I'll be right back, okay?

Uh, excuse me, sir.What is it?

I would like youto teach me

to be a kung fu masterlike you.

I cannot.

Hey, I can pay!

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)Nothing. Never mind.

I had to turn him down.

I know.

Our mystical skills

cannot be taughtto outsiders.

(STOMACH GROWLING)

Hungry?Mmm-hmm.

Where's the pear?

It got smashed.

We'll buy some noodles.

How can we? We're outof money, remember?

Let me buy yousomething to drink

and we can getacquainted, okay?

I would like that.(LAUGHS) Good. Let's go.

You want a bodyguard?

No, not a bodyguard.I said a teacher, okay?

No teaching.Protection only.

Well, if that's the case,I won't pay much.

All you'll get isroom and board, okay?

Deal.Good. Then follow us.

(CHUCKLES)Come on. Let's go.

CHONG: (LAUGHING)Oh, they take your breathaway, don't they?

Go ahead,try them on.

Ah, yes.

Yes, one for each finger.

They look beautifulon you, too.

And there's morewhere that came from.

All for my lovely new bride.

You honor mewith your greatness.

Ah, but you will experiencemy true greatness

on our wedding night.

We have company.

CHONG: Oh, yeah.

Have something to eat,my pretty.

(GASPS)

Let's, you and I,discuss your dutieswhile you're working for me.

First, if I seesomething I want,

well, you take it for me,

whether it'sanother man's farmland

or his womanor all of his money.

You're to do as I say,and get it for me. Got it?

I will only protect you.

Not steal for you or bully.

(LAUGHS)

Come on, now. I knowyou're smarter than that.

You can't go through lifetiptoeing aroundevery little thing.

You must go outand take it.

That's how I becameso wealthy.

Another man's propertybecame my property.

Another man's daughterbecame my wife.

You see,it's all very simple.

And if someone were to takeyour new wife or property,how would you feel?

I'm not too worriedabout that,

not with you aroundto protect me.

Just obey my orders,you see.

And above all,remember my golden rule,

"Do unto others so I canhelp myself." (LAUGHS)

I don't like that rule.

CHONG: Wait a minute!

All right.

You just bemy bodyguard.

And if I needsomething taken,

someone elsewill do it, okay?

Let's get something to eat.(RED BEAN BURPS)

I'm sorry.I guess I was hungry.

An appetite.That's good.

Hey, we'll get yousomething to eat later, okay?

Come on, son.

RED BEAN: Little boy?I saved this for you.

Catch.

(CHUCKLES)

Here, Dad.Where'd you get it?

Miss Red Bean.I don't trust her.

Then I won'ttrust her either.

Ting, do you regretliving this way?

We're a team, Papa.No regrets.

Hey, Mom, come on, get up.

Such a good actresseven I believe you're dead.

Playing deadisn't easy.

Especially onan empty stomach.

Here you go.Your favorite kind of chicken.

Wait a minute! Are youholding out on me?

Huh?Oh! I was gonnashow them to you.

You'll do more than showthem to me, young lady.

We had an agreement,we split the take 50-50.

Please. Do you thinkI'd cheat my own mother?

I saved the most valuablefor you.

Wow! It's beautiful.

I don't know what to say.

Fork overthe good stuff.

(GRUNTS)

Okay, all right.You don't need to get violent.

One for you, one for me,

one for me, one for you,one for me...

Whoa, whoa, wait!

Don't try to sucker me.Let's start over.

(SIGHS) If you say so.Mom, wait!No, I want mine!

Chong wears a necklace.

It's absolutely priceless.

Why are we arguingover these trinkets?

Then we muststeal it.

I know, but...But what?

We'll have to find a wayaround his bodyguard.Hmm.

Hello, how are you?

Doing laundry?

Like some candy?

Uh-uh.

Can I give you a hand?

Can you help meget these stains

out of my dad's underwear?

Mmm.

How are you today?

Is there something I can dofor you, Miss, uh, Red Bean?

I'd like to sew youa colorful new robe,

so just hold still.

I don't need a new robe.

But thank you anyway.

Oh, but I want youto look nice...

For my wedding party.

It's very important

(YELLS) to me!

I think you may be makingthe collar too tight.

Okay, let's measurethe sleeves.

(SCREAMS)

Would you like me to measureyour inseam?

(GRUNTS)

Careful with those.

I know what I'm doing.

Just leave it to me.

I'm afraidI don't have the time.

Won't take but a moment.

It's goingto look wonderful.

I disagree.

I'll fix it.

I'm a great seamstress.

Miss Red Bean,I've heard many stories of...

A young woman in these partswho's really a con artist.

I hope you're notaccusing me.

It's unwise to makean enemy of me.

(SIGHS)

Quit playing possum.

Why'd you do that?

We're friends now.Just a little love bite.

If you're the young womanI've heard about,

then we are not friends.

How do you know?We might really get along.

Don't play games.

As long as I am employedin this house...

I will not stand byand allow youto cause problems.

Oh, okay. If that's the wayyou want it to be.

But what would you doif I were to steal something

from the master of the house?

Don't force me to hurt you.

Oh, I like that.

You're sexy when youtalk tough, you know that?

You're gonna be fun.Ta-ta for now.

(LAUGHS)

What did she want?

Nothing.

Men act strangearound pretty women.

Their brains turn to mushand they do weird things.

You watch yourselfaround her, Dad,

because she'snothing but troublewith a capital "T."

You are wise...Beyond your years.

Well, Dad,I just worry about you.

And when I usedmy kung fu on him,

he didn't stand a chance.

Huh?Whoa!

And just whatdo you call that?Kung fu stance.

(LAUGHS)

You think you know kung fu?I do!

Well, I learnedfrom Shaolin.

You think you're betterthan me, huh?No.

Why do you keep your leg upin the air like that?

My dad says I can'tput it down till noon.

You call that training?

Don't do that!

I went easy that time.

But this timeI won't hold back.

(GRUNTS)

Hey, no fair!

Come on, let me go.

(BOY GRUNTING)

It is now noontime.

(GRUNTING)

Next time, I won't hold back.

I'll get you!

CHIU: (READING)"My Shaolin brothers,I have been humiliated.

"Come help me seek revenge."

Fly straight and true,my feathered comrade.

All the way to Shaolin!

(ALL YELLING)

You want to live?

Tell us where the boys are.

Come on, move it!

(GRUNTS)

Search every boy. Go!

What should we do?

Hurry and findthe boys. Quickly!

Come with me.

Get them into the tunnels!

Come on!Move!

Attack!

After them.

(ALL YELLING)

It's been a long time.

Can it really be you,Ying Lee?

I thought you were killedby Kwun seven years ago.

He thought he killed me,

him and thatmagic spear of his.

But I survived.

I was cured bythe Yihang witch.

She made me invincible.

When I was a boy,you were my master...

So I will be mercifulto you, old man.

But only if you give methe map.

I will never givein to evil.

You stupid,stubborn old man.

Sir, these boyswere a decoy.

Sir, a message.

Hmm.

The boys have a friend.

That will be our first placeto search.

(LAUGHING)

(ALL PANTING)Hey! Hey, Chiu.

Hey, wait, you can'tcome in here. Go away!

Hey, those are my friends.

What happened?We had to escapefrom the temple.

Huh? Did you get my message?

Soldiers attacked the templeand burned it to the ground.

And the master was killed

and our friendswere slaughtered.

They're looking for the mapstattooed on our backs.

Okay, get yourselvescleaned up

and we'll go find my dad.

No, no. I don't know anythingabout any boys.CHIU: Hey, Dad!

My friends are here.

(BOYS LAUGHING)

Dad, these guyslive down the street,

and they've been bullying me.

(LAUGHING) Hey, we'vebeen nice so far.

We're just tryingto get the money you owe us.

So pay up soon...

(GASPS)Or we get violent.

(LAUGHS)

You little thugs!Beat it! Go on!Let's go.

Is this your boy?Yes, sir.

Doesn't he study at Shaolin?

Oh, no, sir!I would neversend him there.

Those monks and priests,they're too strange.

That's good to hear.

(FLY BUZZING)

That fly is startingto annoy me.

Thanks for washingmy underwear.

But you tore them.

I'm sorry.That's okay.

I made a smaller pairout of them for you.

Thanks, Dad.

Does that meanyou're not wearingany underpants?

I don't mind.It's cooler.

Did you fightwith young Master Chiu?

He started it.

That was wrong.

But what good are my skillsif I can't use them?

You must remember, son,that we are in hiding.

If you show your skills,we might be discovered.

I will try my bestnot to fight, Father.

Eleven, 12, 13,

14, 15,

16, 17, 18...

Let's go.Ow!

(GRUNTS)You made me lose count.

All right, what do you want?

What do you think?

Time for a littlepayback, stupid.(BOYS GRUNT)

I won't fight you.

Yes, you will, tough guy.Come on! (GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)Back off!

Ow!

(ALL GRUNTING)

Leave me alone.

Your only way outis to fight us all.

(BOYS GROANING)

And what happensif I defeat you?

If you defeat us,we call you brother.

(VOCALIZING)

Huh? Let's go.

(ALL GRUNTING)

(BOYS GROANING)

Let's attack!(YELLING)

Come on!You asked for it!

(GRUNTS)

Ow, my shoulder!

Get away!Your shoulder is dislocated.

Be careful!Stay back!

I can help make it well.

(GROANS)

Be still. Relax.

(GROANING)

(SCREAMS) It hurts!

Whoa!Whoa!

(GROANS)You're okay.

Go on!Master Ting?

Don't call me master.Call me brother.

Please acceptour humble apologies.

And join usas a brother.

Come on, guys,he belongs with us.

Yes, a brother.

I am honored.

Don't chase us!Don't hurt us!

No!

(WHIMPERING)

No...

RED BEAN'S MOTHER: Thisshould keep you sleeping.

(GASPS)

(GULPS)

(CHONG SNORING)

(WOMAN GIGGLING)

I feel really strange.

I accidentally swallowedthe tranquilizer and...

Mom!Huh?

That's no tranquilizer,that's an aphrodisiac!

Mmm. Ah!

No wonder I'm gettingso damn horny.

Mom, focus!

(GRUNTING)

It's no use,I'm too horny.

Argh! Be serious.

I am serious.

It's been so long for me,you have no idea!

(CHUCKLING) It hasn'tbeen that long, come on.

Oh, knock it off,would you?

Let's go steal that necklacebefore I explode.Ah, okay!

Let's go!Wait!

Don't forget the masks.

(CHONG SNORING)

Hand overthat necklace!

(SNORING)

Come on.

Wake up!(GROANS)

(CONTINUES SNORING)Quit pretending.

Unbelievable.Oh, hell!

Let's get this thingand get outta here. (GRUNTS)

Huh?

Who are you?

(ALL GRUNTING)

Get him!(YELLS)

(SNORING)

RED BEAN'S MOTHER:Keep him busy.I'll get this one outta here.

(GRUNTS)

Gotcha!

Help me.

What a crazy dream.(GASPS)

What are you doing here?

Someone just broke inand tried to stealyour necklace.

(GASPS)

This is priceless!

You've got to catch thembefore they try again.

They're not far.

(GASPS)What do you want?

Two robbers broke intothe master's bedroom

and tried to stealhis necklace.

Oh, my God! Robbers?Do you thinkthey're still here?

Actually, I do.

Then why don't youlook for them?Why are you in here?

The robbers were wearingblack jumpsuits.

What does that haveto do with me?

What are you insinuating?

What are you wearing?

I sleep in the nude.I'll prove it to you.

On the count of three.One, two, three.

(GIGGLES)All right.But I warn you.

Any further troubleand I'll have to kick you out.

You don't haveto be so modest.

I'll give youone more chance.One, two, three.

(CHUCKLING)

I mean it.

Any more troubleand you're out.

I can't go.Tomorrow is my wedding day.

Oh, my!Where's Mom?

Gotta relax.

Phew.

Should I controlmy urges? Nah!

(BOTH SCREAM)

(BOTH LAUGH)

I was so horny last night,I forgot to get the necklace.

(CHUCKLES)

Now we'll get itbefore my daughterhas to marry this fool.

Oh, good evening.

Why don't the two of yougo out and enjoythe wedding festivities?

We have to stayand watch the bride.

Oh, do you... Do you thinkthere's going to be trouble?

Actually, she is the trouble.

This is going to bean interesting wedding.

Oh. Hmm.

(SIGHS) Hmm.

Someone's on the roof.

Ting, that's very observant.

But we can't be distractedfrom guarding Red Bean.

Understand?Yes.

(RED BEAN SCREAMS)

RED BEAN:No! Let me go!Don't hurt me!

Fell for it, huh?Help!

Rape! Sorry.

Oh, no, Dad's in trouble.

(YELPS) Oh!

(ALL GASP)

(GROANS)Red Bean!What's going on?

Are you all right,my darling?

What's wrong with you?

How dare youdefile my bride.

I can't face you.Darling...

(CRYING)

Listen, I want youto leave here immediately.

All right, I'll go.

(INDISTINCT JEERING)Yeah, get outta here!

Some guard you are!

ALL: Whoa!

(MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)(RED BEAN SOBBING)

Let's go, son.

Why?

You should go out thereand knock his head off.

I don't know.That took a lotout of me.

Honey...Put the masterto bed, please.

Come on.I've had too much to drink.

Why didn't you explainwhat happened?

They would nothave understood.

It's becauseyou like Red Bean.

You're wrong.

You've always taught meto stay calm

under any circumstances.

But when she screamed,

you jumped uplike a jackrabbit.

Ting, I, uh...

It's okay, Father.I think I understand.

(HORSE WHINNYING)

(GASPS)

They're headingfor the master's home.

What do you think?

I want to go backand help my new brothers.

You're right.

(LOUD WHACK)(GROANING)

(PEOPLE PANICKING)

What do you want? (SCREAMS)(CROWD GASPS)

Oh, this violencemakes me queasy.

Do what needs to be done,

but get it over with quickly,if you please.

We are searchingfor a group of boys.

Five of them.

The rest of youwe have no interest in.

Therefore, everyoneover the age of 10will be killed...

Now!

(ALL SCREAMING)

(GROANING)

Come back, you!

(WHIMPERING)

Let's pretendto be dead.Good idea.

(ALL GROAN)

Why don't you guysjust beat it?

'Cause we're dead,just like you are.

Now lie still, all right?

Who says you're the only onewho can play dead?

Listen, you!I was here first.

You guys are nothing buta couple of lousy copycats.

(GROANS)

(GROANING)

Think you can fool me?

(GRUNTS)

Now you can stop pretending.

(SOBBING)

Those idiots, they can'teven pretend to be dead.

(GROANS)

I don't believe this.

You too, lady.

(YELLS)

I can't take it.

Why, you...I can't take it.

(MAN YELLING)

(EXHALES)

Going somewhere?

Come back here!

(EXCLAIMING)

Master Kwun?

The government still hasa bounty on your head.

Is it you who plansto collect it?

It's timefor you to die.

(GRUNTING)

Go get 'em!(EXCLAIMS)

Boy, this thing'sreally on here.

Oh!(MEN GRUNTING)

Well, I guess that meansthe party's over.

Time to grab what I canand split.

(MEN GRUNTING)

(GASPS)

(SIGHS) That was close.

(GASPS)

Bring it on!

Come on, let's go!

(TAK CRYING)Help, you guys! Help!

Come on, you guys!

Chiu, go, go!

(MAN GRUNTS)

Master Kwun!

Hello, old friend.Ying Lee?

I know you're surprised.

The Yihang witchmade my body invincible.

But it seems your soulis still corrupt.

He killed your former masterat Shaolin.

They're looking forthe Shaolin treasure.

It's tattooed on our backs.

He's capturedfour of my brothers,

but I am the final piece.

(GRUNTING)

Take him.

Come on.

Go on.

(MEN GRUNTING)

Be quiet.

MEN: Come on.

Just a little longer.

(MAN SNORING)

(SNORING)

Thank you foryour hospitality.

We'll returnwhen things cool down.

Sleep tight, okay?

(GROANS)

(GASPS)

You undressed me!

I had to...

To get this dart...

Or your woundwould have become infected.

I feel so dirty.Quit complaining.

How am I supposed to feel?

You've seen me naked.We're not even dating.

You shouldn't be ashamed.

You're beautiful.

I know, you'rejust saying that,

trying to make mefeel better.

Well, it's not gonna work,I can tell you that much.

I know I'm sweaty,

I'm dirty, I need a bath.

I'm stuck in thishorrible place,

I've got this ugly bandage,this disgusting wound.

I'm anything but beautiful!Just shut up!

Learn how to takea compliment.

Wha...

I've got to go,save my son.

Why didn't you save himbefore now?

Ting's very strong.

He can helpthe other boys.

The other boys?

KWUN: We have the finalpiece of the treasure map.

Ting can protectthe other boys

if the empirediscovers this.

Meanwhile, I've sent wordto the rebels

to meet us atthe Red Dragon pavilion.

And the map?

We'll have to rescue the boysfrom the enemy's stronghold.

It will be dangerous.

You can do it.

I feel very safe with you.

RED BEAN'S MOTHER:Red Bean!

How dare youleave me behind!

I had no choice.Don't you give me that!

Oh, Kwun, this is my mom.

(GASPS)Oh, my God!

What happened to you?

I was hit bya poisonous dart,

but Kwun saved me.

Oh, thank you,Master Kwun.

He even cleaned meand dressed the wound.

You mean you tookher clothes off?

Mom, nothing happened.Calm down, okay?

(CHUCKLES)

My intuition...

Tells me there'ssomething funny

going on between you two.

(GIGGLES)

Step over here, Master Kwun.

You and I need to talk.

Get this, okay?

If you're gonna courtmy daughter,

I want to make sureyou're wealthy.

Ma, he doesn'thave any money.

Oh, really.No.

But I respect her.

Isn't that enough?

Not in this day and age.

Money makesthe world go 'round.

And if you don't believe that,

you're justfooling yourself. Okay?

I know you are too gooda person to feel that way.

Mmm, I don't knowwhat you mean.

Some thingsmean more than money.

Like what,for instance?

For instance,

like saving the boys.

You expect me to...

No way.I'm not doing it.

Wait. You distract themwhile I find a way in.

Distract them? I'll domore than distract them.

You should see mein action.Just distract them.

What, you don't thinkI can do it, do you?

I was a kung fu masterin my day.

(SIGHS)

Don't move.

(EXCLAIMS)

I should warn you,my men are behind you.

I don't believe any manwho wears makeup.

Take a look then.

You think I'm gonna fallfor that old trick, see?

I meant there.

I'm sorry.

I mean, my comment aboutyour makeup and stuff.

(MEN SHOUTING)

(YELLING) Help!

Someone cut me downfrom here.

How can you boysjust sit there

and watch mesuffer like this?

You're the onewho got yourself captured.

What do you want usto do about it?

Get out of the way.Hey, look out!

Son, get them to safety.

Well, it's about timeyou showed up.

(GRUNTING)

Huh? What happenedto all these guys?

My dad killed them.

Uh, that's awesome.He's a great fighter.

Wish he'd adopt me.What do you think?

MAN: I'll adopt you.

You're allsuch pretty boys.

Run! Up the wall!

(PANTING)

Come on. You can do it

ALL: (SHOUTING) Come on

(LAUGHING)

(GRUNTS)

Gotcha...Help me!

Are you with me, my brothers?

Come on!(ALL EXCLAIMING)

(GRUNTING)

Are you all right?

Time to teach you a lesson,sweet meat.

(GRUNTING)

Dragon kick, brothers.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Elephant drop, brothers.

(GROANS)

Move!

Kwun, let's go!

Oh, my God!I can't believe

you boys left me behind.

This is a human being...Where's Dad?

(GRUNTING)

Don't you know by now

you can never,never beat me?

Somehow I will take revenge

for what you did at Shaolin.

I have to.

(LAUGHING)You can do nothing.

(GASPS)

Perhaps we die together.

Dad!

Dad... We're partners.Ting, I want youout of here.

(TING GROANS)

I won't let you die here.I said, go on!

(GROANS)

I won't!

(GRUNTS)

Hey, ugly!

Ting!

(GROANS)

Ting!

Ting! Ting!

Dad?

Son!

(COUGHING)

What happened?

(GROWLING)

You're surethis is it?

Excuse me, sir.

We're looking forthe Red Dragon pavilion.

Don't bother withthis old man, honey.

He doesn't know anythingthat can help us.

Come on.

I don't know anything?

I know everythingthat goes on here,

and there's noRed Dragon pavilion.

But I was herejust 10 years ago.

We've also heard ofa Shaolin master living here.

No such person.

He is rumoredto be in hiding.

There is no Shaolin master...

And noRed Dragon pavilion.

There's only meand one other guy.

He lives downthe street a ways.

Who is he? I don't know.

Very weird guy.Keeps to himself.

(TOWER CLOCK BONGS)

BOY 1: What is this place?BOY 2: It's kind of spooky.

RED BEAN: Can someone help us?

TING: How comethey're not moving?

Hey, wow! You werejust down the street.

(LAUGHS)How'd you do that?

(SHRIEKS AND SCREAMS)

They're all made of wax.

Wow!

They're so lifelike.

Ha! Anatomically correct.

Are you done?Oh, my God!

You scared mealmost half to death!

You deserved it.Of all the nerve.

You're trespassing,all of you.

Coming into my house,uninvited.

Why, I oughtto round you all up

and torture youto death. Huh?

Especially you.(GASPS)

We heard a Shaolin masterlived here.

A master in this town?

Don't be ridiculous.

There's onlythe old man and me,

the wax maker.

They're beautiful.How did you make them all

seem so lifelike?

I use real human fleshunder the wax.

Would you care to be one?

Ahhh! No! Mommy!

We're sorry to disturb you.We'll be leaving.

You're hurt.

I have some experiencein medicinal arts.

Let me cure you, please.I'm sure I can...

Thank you anyway,but we must be moving on now.

But to where?

This place isa ghost town.

Death warmed over.

The Red Dragon pavilion.

The pavilion?Oh, that place.

Uh-huh. Well, followthe path west out of town.

It will eventuallylead you right there.

Thank you, sir.No, not "sir."

Wax maker Biao.

(SHRIEKS)

Are you sure youdon't want to become

one of my statues, eh?

No, no, no.

(PANTING)

Hey, guys,wait for me.

This can't be the pavilion.There isn't anyone around.

I'll takea look around.No.

Stay here.

This is the place,all right.

Years ago, there wereflowers everywhere.

But no more.

Kwun, how will the rebelsever find us?

We sent a messageyesterday.

They'll get the word,and the rebels will be here.

I'm sure of it.Is he okay?

Keep an eye out,you guys.Yes, sir!

Maybe we should finda place to hide

in case the empirefinds us first.

(BOTH PANTING)

An army of swordsmenheading this way.

Take the boys and go.No.

I won't leave you.Don't argue!

(MEN EXCLAIMING)

(MAN YELLING)

The rebels.

Master Kwun,it's good to see you.

Master Chan, I...(GROANS)

What happened?He foughtwith Ying Lee.

I thoughthe was dead.I wish it were so.

But the Yihang witchhas cured him.

He is now invincible,

unstoppable,like a demon.

We must be careful.

He is after the boys.

He is a trulyhorrible monster.

He...

He rides a metal horse.

And he wants to kill us.

Do not fear.

My men and I can handle this.

My invincible sword herecan even cut through metal.

I'm so glad you're here.This is great.

Let's let Master Chanhandle everything.

Mom!

We know a place whereyou can all can rest

and clean to your wounds.

Oh, Master Chan?Yes, what?

Now I know whereI recognize you from.

Twenty years ago,I was the runner-up

of the Miss Kung FuWorld contest.

And you wereone of the judges.

Well, I know you had

kind of an eye for meback then.

I don't knowif you remember.

(GIGGLES)

Do you?Do you?

Ah, yes.

I think I rememberthat contest.

Mom.

Come see me later

and we can getreacquainted, okay?

(GIGGLES)

You as nervousas I am?

You know it, brother.

This is killing me.Quiet.

Hmm?

MEN: Huh?

(MEN GROANING)

Attack.

My sword!

(GRUNTING)

(BOYS CHATTERING)

(GASPS)

The boys are safewith mother.

Don't worry.

Thank you.

All I ever used to dowas steal and cheat.

But since I met you,

well, I think I'll turn overa new leaf.

No more stealing.

What are your plans?

Don't know.

Maybe you've got some ideas.

All right, boys, eat up.

If we're going to fightthe evil empire,

you needyour potassium.

Tell us a story,Granny.

Oh, all right.

You don't haveto twist my arm.

Well, when I was young,

I was an expertdart catcher...

The best in the land.

One day an evil monk...

Bam!

Threw 300 darts at me.

But withmy lightning hands,

I snatched 298out of midair.

Then, I caught oneright between my teeth.

But, Granny,

what happenedto the last dart?

That last one?

I caught itbetween my toes.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Hey, you guys,

that's enough ofthat laughing.

I could teachall of you boys

a thing or twoabout kung fu.

And you betterbelieve it!

Back in my day,I was known as a master.

Why I once hada fight with 22 guys...

Ahhh... Ghost!

(ALL YELLING)

All right boys,stay behind me.

Oh, it's Master Chan.

Look, boys, he's cometo join us for dinner.

Oh, what fun!

(BOYS GROAN)

Oh, Master Chan!

Friend of yours?

Oh, please, sir.

Oh, please don't hurt us.

These boys are so sweetand innocent.

And I'm just an old woman.Have mercy.

(EXCLAIMING)

You think you're so bad.

(MEN GRUNT)

You take care of them.

I'll get the boysout of here. Let's go!

(GRUNTING)

Keep going!

(MEN YELLING)

Let's bring it on,

you sons of bitches!

(EXCLAIMING)

(MEN GROANING)

BOYS: All right, Granny!

(ALL CHEERING)

Wow, Granny,you really are

the greatest martialartist ever!

You're so cute.

(LAUGHING)

Hi.(LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY)

Congratulations.I underestimated you.

Thank you.

Now, be so kind asto let the boys and I go.

(GIGGLES)No.

But if you defeat mewith your darts,

then you can go.

(LAUGHS) Silly.I haven't got any darts left.

(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

What's wrong?

You don't like the tasteof my lugies, huh?

(GROANS)

(PANTING)

(ALL CHEERING)

Granny, Granny!Ah, come here.

That was awesome.Can you teach it to me?

You shouldn't haveunderestimated me.

BOYS: That was great!

Boy 1: Really,that was great!

BOY 2: Grandma...

BOY 3: How'd you do that?Can you teach me?

Mom?

Mom, are you okay?

Oh, of course I'm okay.

Don't be ridiculous.

Go on, boys, tell herhow great I was.

She was awesome.

Now, you takethe boys on ahead.

I'm gonna make surethis bastard is done for.

You're coming, too?Mmm-hmm,right behind you.

Come on, boys,let's go.

BOY 1: Sister Red Bean?Your mother is quite brave.

BOY 2: She's second onlyto Master Kwun.

(GROANS)

Ma!

Ma, what's wrong?

I guess I'm not as goodas I thought I was.

Be strong.Don't die, Granny. Please.

I couldn't catchevery dart.

(ALL GASP)

Granny!

We've got to get yousome help!

(GASPING)

I hope I haven'tdisappointed you boys.

BOY 1:No, you're the greatest.

BOY 2: Stay with us, Granny.

Don't cry.

What do you think of...

This old gal, huh?

Mom, you're just as beautifuland strong as ever.

You wouldn't lie to me.

Never.

(ALL SOBBING)

Enough crying.I'm not going to die yet.

Come on,help me up.

Come on, come on.

(GROANING)

BOYS: Master Biao, help us!

(BOYS YELLING)

Mom, Mom!

Master Biao,we need your help.

It's so cold.Don't worry, I'll getyou warmed up. okay.

BOYS: (YELLING) Master Biao!

Here. Feel warmer?

Mom, talk to me.

It's funnyhow things work out.

I used to pretend to be dead,

and now...You're not gonna die.

Mother, I won't let you.

(CHUCKLING)

My daughter...

I... I...

I don't want youto worry about anything.

When I...

When I getto the afterlife...

The Gods won't knowwhat...

What hit them. Okay.

(SOBBING)

Now you go. I...

And marry Master Kwun,

and raise family.

Ma? Mom...

Can someone pleasehurry up and help us?

(GROANS) Red bean,

where are you?It's okay, I'm right here.

It's so dark.

Can't see.

Please make surethe boys are all safe.

Oh... (SOBBING)

They'll be fine mother.

You're a strong daughter.

So very strong.

(GROANING)

I just thought of something.

That guy we were going to rob.

All the troublewe went through.

And we didn't even get that...

Stupid, lousy necklace.

(SOBBING)

(SOBBING)

(BOYS CRYING)

(BOYS YELLING)

(BOY YELLING)

BOY 1: Are you hurt?BOY 2: Are you okay?

Come on!

Come on, let's go.

You must.

Mother, I love you.

BOY 1: Come on, hurry up!

BOY 2: Let's get out of here!

BOY 1: Go!Hurry, hurry, hurry!

(ALL YELLING INDISTINCTLY)

BOY: Come on.

(RAT SCREECHING)

(GASPS)

(GRUNTING)

All right, Ting,let's hit him up high

and down low. Go!

(GRUNTING)

(GROWLING)

Go!

(GROWLING)

Ting, get ready.

Got it.

(GROWLING)

(GRUNTING)

(GROANING)

TING: Ahhh.

Ting!

Dad!

(MAN EXCLAIMS)

Who are you?

In this town,I'm known only

as wax maker Biao.

However, I am secretlya Shaolin master.

Let's go, Ting.

Going somewhere?

I have been in hiding herefor many years.

But when wordof your evil reached me,

I vowed to donmy robes again

to avenge my brothers.

And I will getmy revenge for Shaolin!

You will diejust like the Shaolin monks.

Oh, you think so?You are beyond arrogant,

as well as evil.Prepare to die.

(GROANING)

Now taste vengeancefrom my dragon fists.

(EXCLAIMING)

Everybody okay?

Uh-huh.

(MAN GROWLS)

(YELLING)Brother!

(ALL SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

Hang on, boys!Don't give up.

I can't! I'm slipping.

(YELLING)

Hurry! Pull us up!

(YELLING)

Be strong, my brothers.

Hold on tight.

(BOYS BITING)

(ALL SCREAM)

Ting, I'm slipping!I'm slipping!

(YELLING)

My brother!

(PANTING)We made it.

(FARTS)

Huh... Uh, get off of me...

Please, oh God.

(GRUNTS)

You're gonna die.

I told youyou'd never beat me.

(GASPS)

Goodbye old friend.

Stop it!Run!

Honey, honey, wake up!

(ALL SCREAMING)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(SCREAMING)

(BOTH GROAN)

Get up, honey!

Please!Ting!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Papa!

Ting!

(GROWLING)

(GRUNTING)

(YELLING)

Come on, pull!

(ALL STRAINING)

We got you!

(TOWER CLOCK BONGING)

KWUN: You young men showedstrength and bravery.

And I commend you all.

Li,

Su,

Fong,

Chiu...

And Tak.

The masters of Shaolin

would certainly beproud to know...

That they have passedtheir legacy

on to ones such as you.

It is my deepest honor

to call you brothers.

Thanks againfor your help.

Come on, son.

Sweetie,is your father coming?

I don't knowwhere he could be.

Say, why don't youcome with me?

I'll teach you somemore martial arts.

No, thank you.

Tak, you're welcometo join us.

My dad will be here,I'm sure.

Tak! Tak!

My son!

Father!

(BOTH LAUGH)

Are you Tak's father?Yeah, yeah.

He's a fine warrior.

(LAUGHS) That's very funny.

But, thank you for saving him.

My son?

He is quite a man.

I don't know aboutthat friend of yours...

Come on.

But, it's true, Father.I am a Shaolin master.

(GROANS)Tak, you okay?

(ALL LAUGHING)

Good to see you smile.

Let's go, Mom.

(HORSES NEIGHING)