All language subtitles for Getting.Straight.1970.WEB-DL.x264-RARBG

¶ The world gets smaller
every day

¶ Like an apple in your hand

¶ Hey, do you really feel
that you can move away?

¶ Have you noticed that
there's hardly room to stand?

¶ Don't you feel that Mom's
good old apple pie

¶ Gets harder
to swallow every day?

¶ And don't you feel
the grand old eagle
stands for do-or-die

¶ But do we lay an egg
and fly away?

¶ Oh, say, by the dawn's
early light can't you see?

¶ You're shafted from
the cradle to the grave

¶ This may no longer
be the land of the free

¶ Thank God it's still
the home of the brave

¶ La, la

¶ La, la, la, la

¶ La, la, la, la, la

¶ La, la, la, la

¶ La, la

¶ La, la, la, la, la

¶ Don't you feel,
when they tell you
war's a game

¶ You're dead before
you start to play?

¶ Don't you feel you're just
a number, not a name?

¶ And I hear your number's
coming up today

¶ Don't you feel
what Chicken Little said
is coming true?

¶ Can't you see
the writing on the wall?

¶ Don't you feel the flow
and see them closing in
on you?

¶ Or don't you feel at all? ¶

Line up, please.

Parking permits,
locker rentals.
Library fines over here.

And please have
the right change.
I'm not a bank.

Mrs. Stebbins. Mrs. Stebbins.
It says see you immediately.

I sent this weeks ago.

Yeah, I know, I know.
See, I've been sick
in bed for two days,

but as soon as I got it
I raced right over.

Well...

Bailey, Harry.

Bailey...

Bailey. Harry Bailey.
Bailey.

You owe this university
$156 in tuition fees.

But I signed a note.

It was due last week.
Well, I'll sign another one.

No, you won't.

No, but look...

In two weeks, I get my
master's, then I'll be able
to get a teaching credential.

I'll teach and I'll
pay you back.

At the end of the week,
that's all.

No tuition, no credits,
no grades,
and no more classes.

Well, look, I mean, I...

Are you infectious?

Just when I cough.
You see, I really...

Don't cough.

No, I won't. But you
really have to...

Well, make sure.

(STUDENTS CLAMORING)

NICK: Hey, Harry,
you busy?

Hey, man.

You want to go
to the aquarium?

We'll turn on
and dig the fish
like we used to.

You got any money?

No, I'm tapped out, man.

You still owe me from
the bail when you
were busted, you know?

Yeah, I know.
I got that written down.

Well, that's good.

Hey, say, where have
you been for the last
couple of days, man?

I've been looking for you.
Hey, what's the rush?

I'm late for Wilhunt's class.
I got a test.

That's too bad 'cause I met
the grooviest spade chick

who loves to ball
intellectuals.
Yeah?

Yeah, I can set you up.

I can't. I got no time.

That's too bad. I mean,
she even let me do it when
I showed her my degree.

Yeah, at last, a practical
use for your diploma.
I got to split.

Come on, Harry, forget
the test. We'll turn on.
I'll call the chick.

You'd learn more
that way, anyway.

I didn't come here
to learn more, Nick.

I came here to get my
teaching credentials.

Why, Harry? Jesus,
why a teacher?

Money, Nick!

Money and power,
and little girls to molest!
It's a great life!

Harry, you lied to me.

You told me that you
were going to be at the
free-speech meeting.

No, you lied to me.
You said there was
going to be free food.

Harry, what happened?
What's the matter with you?

Harry, you used to
be the great rebel.
The great leader.

Harry, what are
you afraid of?

Of being late for class.

Harry, in six months
from now, the entire
military-industrial complex

is going to have us
in concentration
camps in Arizona.

Don't knock Arizona,
Judy. It's a great state.

They have the lowest
incidence of lung cancer,
homosexuality and crabs.

(SQUEAKING)

(CROAKS)

(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

(SHRIEKING)

Harry.

God!

You really scared me.
I thought it was somebody
from the SPCA.

I've got such guilt
about doing this.

Do you have the test papers?

I haven't finished them yet.

Jan, I told Kasper he'd
have them before lunch.
You knew that.

No test papers,
no dinner for the
rest of the week.

I know. I know. It's just
that I was kind of
busy until late last night.

I remember.

I'll have 'em for you, Harry.

I've only got
a few more to correct.

Have I ever failed you?

Okay. Right. I'll come back.

You don't have to
worry about the SPCA.

What?

Your patient just
jumped off the table.

(JAN SCREAMS)

(SQUEAKING)

(WHISPERING)

Which poem is that?

Well, Mr. Bailey,
nice of you to drop by.

I'd be interested
to know how you do

in this test in
the next 20 minutes.

When you've completed
your test papers,

turn them down,
raise your hand

and the monitors
will pick them up.

Be sure to mark
them clearly...
You're going to get an A,

bring up the curve
and make it hard
for the rest of us.

Don't worry,
they're gonna need
a lot of teachers.

Are you kidding?

Who wants to be a teacher?

I thought you did.

Don't be ridiculous.

Do you know how
much a teacher
makes in this state?

Yeah, more than
a secretary, and less
than a hooker.

Someplace in between there.

I trust your
grade will not reflect
your lack of attention.

Of course,
for those who allow
their averages to drop,

I wouldn't be too
concerned. Mr. Bailey.

I'm told that South
Vietnam is very pleasant
this time of year.

Not really, Dr. Wilhunt.

You see,
it's the rainy season.

And on the Mekong Delta
we used to get these
fantastic mudslides

that used to wash
down and open up all
the shallow graves.

So, if you really
want to enjoy yourself

I would go in
the late summertime.

(WOMAN SNICKERING)

I'll see you in
my office at 11:00.

See if you can make
it promptly at 11:00.

Hey, Harry, wait a minute.

I can't. I'm late.

Okay, I got your book.
I'll get it later.

Hey, come on, man.
Hey, the book's here.

I read it and we're drafting
the constitution tonight.

Great.

Hey, now, wait.
Now, wait, wait, wait.

Look, I hear you
were pretty active
in the movement

back in the "ban
the bomb" days.

We could really use
you there tonight.

Yeah, look, I'd
love to, but I got

about 500 years
of English lit

to read before
Friday morning.

Yeah, man, look,
we got 300 years

of being treated
like a bunch of puke.

Now, Harry,
look, we've got to have

a Black Studies
Department on this campus,

and you can't give us
an hour of your time?

Sorry, I can't.
Not this week.

Yeah, you remember,
baby, without us,
you ain't got no causes.

You just got a bunch
of bored white kids

trying to solve their
acne problem with
their old man's money.

Without us, you don't have
a social revolution.

That's terrific, Ellis,
I like things just
the way they are.

I mean, I got 18 cents
in my pocket,
you know that?

18 cents. My car runs
on one gear.

I'm probably
going to flunk out

and the last meal I had
was yesterday morning.

So good luck with
your race. I've got
my own to run.

Hey, Harry, look.

Now, that's
cop-out time, Harry.

That's cop-out time.
I know where your head's at.

I know you do.
And I know where
your head's at.

I've been watching it
for the last five minutes.

Hey, man,
you don't have to
worry about that.

I don't want to
marry your sister.

You, marry my sister?

Ellis, I will
arrange it for you, man!

With the analyst
and the astrologist
and the two neurotic kids

and the payments
on the pool.

And the bill for
the hysterectomy.

You can be
husband number four
she wipes out.

Stop trying to
join up, will you?

You gotta be
better than we are!

Hey, we already
are in certain areas.

Yeah, I notice.

How come that's
the only stereotype

none of you ever
bother to deny?

(ELLIS CHUCKLES)

Dr. Wilhunt,
I was just on my way.

(FLUSHES)

Listen, I'll try
turning on the water.
Sometimes it helps.

You know, Mr. Bailey,
it happens every
year in my class.

There's always one
dedicated know-it-all
who feels called upon

to criticize
the teaching practices
of this department,

who's just got
to save the youth
and change the system.

This year
the smart-ass is you.

Why are you doing
so poorly, Harry?

I thought I was doing fine.

If this machine
gives me a good grade
on today's test,

I'll have
a three-point average,
even with the absences.

You here speak to
the machine, you see.

But I have been
getting damn good grades.

I have my own yardstick.

Considering I should
get the best average.

Now, let me describe
it from my perspective.

Attitude and
discipline are also part

of this course and
yours are rotten.

(MACHINE CLACKING)

Do you really want to
be a teacher, Harry?

Yes, I do. Very much.

Well, that's nice.
That's interesting.
I suppose you do.

Returning to school after
a six-year absence.

It might be interpreted
as some sort of dedication.

Why do you want to
be a teacher, Harry?

I mean, really.

Well, I think it's
very important.

Well, we all do,
but what else?

Well, look, if people
are smart enough
to build this...

This concrete erection,
you know what I mean?

They got to be smart
enough to finally
learn how to live in it.

Yeah, I know what you mean.
You come into a classroom,

and there on the fourth
row is a boy, and you
read his composition,

"How I Spent my
Summer Vacation,"

and suddenly
you realize that,

in 10 years, with
a little help, a little push,

perhaps another Salinger.
That's it, isn't it?

Okay.

And what about
the other 35 boys, Harry?

What about the other
175 boys and girls

you're going to see
the rest of the day in
the other English classes?

The green dots, Harry.
The mean.

You're talking
about the red dots.
The special ones.

With a passing
thought to the blues.

But what about the green,
and what about
the little gray ones?

Since I've been head
of this department,

15,000 teachers have gone on

to teach over
a million elementary
and secondary students.

To do what?

(MACHINE WHIRRING)

To write letters home,

to balance checkbooks,
to function on
a day-to-day basis.

Robots can function, too.

(MACHINE WHIRRING LOUDLY)

(BEEPING)

(MACHINE POWERS DOWN)

Here, see if you can
handle this. There.

Now, this is
a state-supported
university, Harry.

We graduate taxpayers.

A Salinger doesn't need you.
He can make it on his own.

Our job is to educate
the population of the state.

Now, what do you want to do?

I just don't want to
see another generation
whose horizons

are limited to
balancing their checkbooks.

(MACHINE STARTS)

Harry, for the last
time, stop trying to
inject morality

and ethics and sociology
into the teaching
of English grammar.

You're going to
flunk me, aren't you?

You're very close. We'll see.

I've been thinking
of practice
teaching assignments.

Yours will be in subject A,
right here on campus.

You might start with
the 12:00 in Building B.

Convenient?

Dumbbell English?

We don't refer to
subject A by that name.

The gray dot by
any other name.

Dr. Wilhunt!

Hmm?

I got an A.

Well, Harry,
that's better than a D,
I guess, isn't it?

(LAUGHING)

HARRY: All right, I think we
should spend some...

Okay, let's see if you can...

(CHALK SCRATCHING)

(STUDENTS LAUGHING)

Let's see if you
can conjugate...

(LAUGHING CONTINUES)

Okay, okay, let's see
if you can conjugate
the irregular verb "to be."

Mr. Haji.

I be, you be, he be.

Most verbs have been given
a common form for the first,

second and third person,
but "to be"

is used so much
in everyday speech

that it retains
individual forms,

such as, "I am, he is
and you are."

MAN: That's terrific.

Okay. I think it
would be easier

if we tried to use
it in a sentence.

Now, who can give
me a sentence using

the past tense
of the verb "to be"?

Mr. Garcia.

Mr. Garcia?

I didn't get that far.

Well, could you
stand up, please?

I didn't get that far
in senior English
in high school.

(ALL LAUGHING)

On account of
football come
in six period.

And though they promised me,

I didn't get no
credit for the course.

So, you see,

I was kind of shafted.

(ALL SNICKERING)
You were what?

Well, I... I said,

I was shafted.

That's right.
That's correct.

That's very good.

"I was shafted."

(ALL LAUGHING)

The past tense,
first person of the verb
"to be." I was.

That's very good,
Garcia. Now,

how would you use
the same sentence...

Now, how would you
use the same sentence

in the second
person singular?

The girl who came in late,
what's your name?

Sheila Rohl.

Sheila Rohl.

You were shafted.

Yeah, when they
gave you this class.

Third person singular.

She was shafted.

Nice going, Haji.
That's great. Now look...

So, you see, the verb "to be"
is only irregular

in the first and
third person singular.

In the plural,
"We were shafted,

"you were shafted,
they were shafted."

We all get shafted
the same, right?

We never learned
that in high school English.

Well, what do high school
teachers know
about fancy shafting?

(BELL RINGS)

Look, don't forget
about the book-report
assignment.

(STUDENTS CHATTERING)

Hi.
Hi.

Hey, I really like you.

Oh, no, I don't want
you to think I'm saying

that 'cause I want
to get a good grade.

Well, do you think
you could like somebody
from dumbbell English?

(CHUCKLES)

Well, I'll tell
you something.

You know, there are
two basic rules
for the wise teacher.

One is that the wise
teacher never neglects

the dull student
for the bright one.

And the other one is
that the wise teacher

never comes on
with a pretty...

Well, he never
tries to make out...
Well, I don't...

I forget it,
but I know he doesn't do it
the first week of class.

I remember that.

Well, then, in the
meantime, maybe
you could suggest

a book for me to
make a report on.

Oh, sure.
When I get in the library,

I see so many books
I get confused.

I just wander
around for hours.

I know. I know, I know.

I had an aunt
who used to have
the same problem.

But I think
you'll like this book.

This is quite a popular book.

The Complete,
Unexpurgated Works
of the Marquis de Sade.

No, it's the Marquis de Sade.

You see, he was
a Frenchman.

He was a pervert.

My high school
English teacher

already tried to
turn me on with that.

(CLICKING TONGUE)

See you tomorrow.

NARRATOR ON RECORDING:
And so thousands of sperm

fight their way up
the vaginal canal
toward the ovum.

MAN: (IMITATING BOY)
How did they get
in the canal, Daddy?

Tell me that part.

(STUDENTS LAUGH)

NARRATOR: ...in
a follicle in the ovary.

Hi, do you have the papers?

30 C's, 6 B's and 3 A's.

Oh, honey, Dr. Kasper's
going to know
I didn't grade these.

It doesn't look good
without any D's or F's.

...is drawn into
the fallopian tube...

Okay, next time,
I'll give
the girls D's and F's.

At least if they flunk out
they can get married.

They won't have
to get drafted.

The healthiest and strongest
of the sperm reach the ovum.

And remember,
it takes only one
sperm to conceive.

STUDENT:
Back, back, you fools!

We've been tricked!
It's only a wet dream.

(ALL LAUGH)

I'll see you at 9:00.

Can you make it 8:30?

The movie starts at 9:00.

Look, honey,
would you mind if we just

skipped the movie
and go to your place?

I got an exam.
I have to study.

I've got my period.

No, you don't.

Boy, you really
count, don't you?

Yeah, I count.

Look, darling,
I need you.

Sexual repression
breeds violence.

Am I not right?

I mean, look at
Vietnam and Korea, Canada.

You're right.
7:30. Come at 7:30.

The door will be open.
I'll be ready.

It's the least I can do
to prevent World War III.

Right.

She's getting better.

Whose paper's that?

No, not the student.
I mean Jan.

Jan?
I'm getting on in years,

I know, and my eyesight's
not what it used to be,

but I can still tell
the difference between

one of your pupils
and one of mine.

I do hope she wasn't
too harsh on the
poor little darlings.

No. She's been
overly generous.

Can I use some
of that hot water?

Fire away.
Help yourself.

You know, Harry,
I worry about you.

How are you going to survive
teaching in high school

where the pupils
are really stupid?

I know. Wilhunt says
I'd make a lousy
high school teacher, too.

No, you'll probably
make a wonderful
high school teacher.

And you'd probably
make an excellent
shoe salesman, too.

But what a waste, Harry.

You belong here, my boy.

I'm going to get
you a fellowship in the
English Department.

Thanks, but I couldn't make
another four years.

In four years
I'll be to these kids
like Wilhunt is to me.

It could just kill
the very thing that might

make me a really
good teacher now.

You know what I mean?

Is that the way
you see us, Harry?

Men in eggshells
suspended in time?

$10?

Harry, I'm doing
you a favor.

We sell books
this time of year.

We don't buy them.

Yeah, but I gotta
pay my rent.

All right, okay, fine.
$10. Come on, give me.

(CASH REGISTER DINGS)

Where are the books?

Well, I'll bring them
next week after finals.

Harry, for goodness sake.

I need them to study.

Okay, fine. All right.
I'll go get 'em now.

(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

(RADIO STARTS)

(TUNING)

(ELECTRIC BUZZING)

(BUZZING)

If you break that,
a new lock will cost
you $12, Mr. Bailey.

It's stuck.

It's locked.

That's ridiculous.

Four weeks rent.

Mrs. Kuntz, let me
get my books.

I was just
going to sell them.

You heard that one before.

Come on, Harry.

What about kindness,
and human compassion,
and mercy?

How's about if I
leave you my clothes?

I've already got 'em.

What's this?

I only kept the clean ones.

That's insane!

Mrs. Kuntz,
four weeks rent, $68...

Look, let me take my books.
If I don't come back,

my jackets alone are
worth more than that.

I don't think so, Harry.

You have very short arms.

(CHILDREN PLAYING)

(ENGINE FALTERS)

(GLASS BREAKING)

(JAN GROANING)

Harry!

(EXAGGERATED MOANING)

You're beautiful.

No, I got short arms.

Yeah, but you've got
an awfully long tongue.

How long are
you going to stay?

I don't know.
Two or three days.

Harry.

I think there's something
you ought to know.

You're what?

I'm pregnant.

It's good.

That is great.
It's just what I need.

How could you be pregnant
when you take pills?

Okay, so I'm
not pregnant.

"Okay, so I'm
not pregnant."

Then why'd you tell me
you were pregnant for?

To see if you'd act
exactly like you're acting.

Boy, I'm gonna tell
you something.

You are not
worth the pain, baby.

Harry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. That was
a rotten thing to do.

I didn't mean to do that.

Yeah, okay. Me, too.

It's just that once
in a while, I wish

you'd buy me a bag
of popcorn, you know?

Make me feel like a date.

Oh, Christ, Jan.

I'm sorry, that's
just the way I feel.

Look, I told you.

You gotta be patient.
Two weeks. Just...
You gotta wait.

Look, Jan, in two weeks,
I will have clawed

my way through
all of this crap,

and then I will buy you
a popcorn machine. Okay?

With melted butter?

Sweet or salty?

Where are we going?

We're going to the library.

I got
an exam and I'm
practice-teaching again.

Oh, Christ, I got nothing
clean to wear.

Look, could you do me a...

Never mind,
I'll do it myself.

What?

Well, would you put
these into the
machine for me,

so that they'll be
dry by the time I
leave in the morning?

But don't put my
sport shirts in with

the underwear
because then they'll run.

Harry, I know that.

Do you want
the underwear ironed?

Well, you don't have
to do the T-shirts,

but I would like it
if you did the shorts.

What's the matter?

Nothing.

Come on, come on.
What's the matter?

Well, what do you expect?

I mean, for months,
I have been
living alone here.

And now, just because
it's convenient,

you announce
you're moving in,

you empty my icebox,
you pull me into bed,

and now you want me
to do your laundry.

You know,
you're doing it again.

No, Harry, you're
doing it again.

I mean, what do you
think I am, anyway?

I don't know, baby,
but I know what you
were when I met you!

Yeah, a lot happier!

Yeah, right. That's right.

It's Miss Homecoming Queen.

Miss Kiss-the-Boys-Good-Night
on the front porch
and let them feel you up,

maybe on the third date,
if they were lucky.

I dropped out of that lunacy
long before I met you.

Yeah. Two weeks before.

And only when
the Campus Crusade

for Christ
tried to convert you

because of
a sexual indiscretion.

Which I didn't commit.

Much to your discredit.

What are we fighting about?

I don't know.

Come here.

(YELLS) Ow!

What the hell
was that for, huh?

Because it felt good!

Where are you going now?

I'm going to the bathroom
to get a Band-Aid!

Hi, Harry.
What are you doing here?

(HAIRDRYER WHIRRING)
Drying my hair.

Have you been sitting
here all this time,
listening to everything?

What's that?
I can't hear you.

I said,
have you been sitting...

Do you know your
girlfriend is in there,
drying her hair?

I tried to tell you
that when you came

in here with
your laundry bag,

but you know how you are
when you're in heat.

Right, but what would
have happened
if she'd have walked

in here when we were
in the middle of...

Harry, you
and your fantasies.

Well, tell her to go.

I can't. They're
painting her apartment.

What about me?

Well, is it my fault?

I didn't know you were ready
to spend the night, move in.

I didn't know you
were ready to make
that kind of commitment.

You're right.

I'm not.

I'll see you around, lady.

Sure. Drop in
anytime for a boff.

Look, I want to tell
you something.

I don't want you to feel
guilty or break out
in hives or anything,

but on this whole planet,
there is no place
for me to sleep tonight.

Try the moon!

Make the next right, please.

Harry, you know I
can't figure you out, man.

I mean, how come
you really want
to get back in?

It's just to get my...

No, no, man.

I don't mean
the rooming house.

I mean the looney-tune,
blue-meanie world, man.
I mean...

Well, you dropped out.
You were one of us.

Well, it was getting cold
out there, you know.

And I was getting older,
so I decided to drop
in again, that's all.

But how? I mean...

You know, once you've
seen this whole ugly
oyster-tight-ass world, man,

I mean,
how can you want to go
and swallow it again?

I don't want to
swallow it, Nick.

I just want to find
a way to live in it.

Stop here.

Thanks, Julie.

Good scientist.
Lousy lay.

(DOGS BARKING IN DISTANCE)

Hey, Nick,
I really appreciate
what you're doing, man.

That's okay. This is good
combat training.

I got my draft
notice today, man.

What about your
school deferment?

I'm short on two units.

I took two courses over,
and they wouldn't count them.

Did you flunk 'em?

No, I just liked them.

Can you get out of it?

Are you kidding?

I don't know.
The best I could
do was a corpsman.

Harry, hang loose.

There are a million
ways for a cool head.

You sure?

Don't worry, man.

I mean, there's
nothing but room.

You can have
the whole apartment.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

JUDY: So with
the Marines recruiting
here on campus,

we should be
allowed to have our

"Resist the Draft"
information booth

alongside of it.

That's what my cousin Roberta
wrote me they did.

And she is a very
influential member of the
SDS at Michigan State.

Hey, will you
stop that crap?

The SDS wouldn't waste
a six-cents postage
stamp on this group.

(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

What's wrong, Ellis?

Well, your attitude.
That's what's wrong.

You don't ask
for what's yours.

I mean, when we get
a Black Studies
Department on this campus

we'll tell them
who's going to
teach the group.

(PEOPLE MURMURING)
I don't think
they'll allow that.

Allow?

We should be
permitted to circulate

a petition for a referendum
to legalize grass.

We only need
25,000 signatures,
right, Harry?

What? It's 50,000.

It's based on one percent
of the registered vote.

I think that we
should ask to vote...

We should demand an end
to the separation of
the sexes in the dorms.

We have a good
chance of getting it

because the whole
campus is getting
out of hand.

(ALL CLAMORING)

Furthermore, I think we
have a strong chance of
attaining these goals.

Especially since there's
been a lot of precedence
set for it recently.

Right, Harry?

Yeah. Yale in '67,
and Sarah Lawrence
last month.

You ain't gonna
get laid no how.

I mean, a draft-resistance
booth on campus.

I mean, "We gotta get a booth
because they got a booth."

I mean, they also got ROTC,
Dow Chemical recruiting,

and they got
the CIA everywhere.

They don't have
the CIA on this campus.

What do you
know about the CIA?

I mean, this is a
state university with
federal funds, boy.

They got the CIA.

Look, I don't say
this with any
hostility whatsoever,

but you're full of crap.

Now, look, my father
is the head

of the Alumni
Association at
this university,

and if there was a CIA
group on this campus,
I would know about it.

(LAUGHING)

The Alumni Association?

Right!

The head of
the Alumni Association.

Let me get out of here.

What am I doing
with you idiots?

Please, Ellis, Ellis.
Don't get excited.

JUDY: Ellis,
listen, we've got to stay
and work together, Ellis.

We can't fight among
ourselves. We've
got to work together.

We've got to be united.
MAN: Settle down
and just do it.

Right, right.
That's right. Right.

That is right. Right. United.

You know,
we represent 400 students

in a university of
15,000 gutless wonders

who are too
damned self-involved

to give a crap
about what's going on.

Right, Harry?

I said, right,
Harry the expert?

Yeah, right. Right.

I mean, is that why you're
not involved, Harry?

You're too busy getting A's
to spare the time?

Yeah, right. Right, Ellis.
I can't spare the time

to stand in front of
the Student Union building

passing out
pamphlets to protest for
the rights of monkeys

to copulate in Biology Lab

before we turn them
over for vivisection.

One of the burning
issues of our time.

Harry, we're not monkeys.

We're human beings.

We're involved in
a protest for self-rule,

to have something
to say in shaping
our own futures.

Okay. Look, I apologize.
Go do it.

Besides, it's been
a dull year and it's
a good, safe target.

What's a good, safe target?

The campus, where
it's safe to measure

ding-a-lings with
the establishment

because they let you.

I don't have a
ding-a-ling, Harry.

Why protest on the campus?

Why not out in the real world
where it will do some good?

You want to sell draft tips?

Forget about college kids!

I mean, they'll take
care of themselves.

Set your booth outside
of a munitions factory

where those poor,
ignorant suckers
don't have a chance.

Of course, you just might
get your teeth kicked
in for your trouble.

Hey, don't worry
about us, man.
We're not worried about

getting our teeth
kicked in by anybody!

Hey, Ellis, will you stop
hating so much, man?

I mean, you get so
caught up in it,

you never get
anything important done.

(STUTTERING)

Don't tell a black man
what's important and
what's not important.

Man, you walk
around in a black skin
before you do that!

Okay, man.

I take it back.

It's vital, yeah,
it's crucial, to the
future of your people

whether a white man
or a black man
teaches you

that Nat Turner
had hemorrhoids,

or that Beethoven's mother
was an octoroon.

Yeah, I know that Black
Studies is important,

but do you think
it's more important
than Selma,

where they took on the cops,
the National Guard
and the Governor?

Is it more
important than sitting in
at a Woolworths counter

and not letting
anybody eat the tuna fish
unless everybody can?

Selma was then,
and this is now!

Hey, man, and besides,
you got a big mouth
for a college boy

who's never been
south of Bitville.

I mean, you talk about Selma
like you were there!

I was there, man.

Then you think
what we're doing
isn't important?

Isn't valid?

Of course it's important.
Do it, do it.

Look, I'm not putting it down.
I've just done it already.

Will you... Go and do it,
and let me study, will you?

(WASHING MACHINE
TIMER BUZZING)

Didn't you just take
those out of the dryer?

Hey, Wade. Yeah.

It's the fourth time through.

But it's not bad, though.

The wash-and-dry
cycle takes two hours.

That's two hours
of heat, light

and a quiet place
to sit and study,

only for a quarter.
You want me to help you?

Would you like
the warm cycle,

or would you
like the hot cycle?

Man, I don't know.

My wife usually does
this, but that dumb
machine's broken.

You're gonna find
this hard to believe,

but I've spent so much
time with these machines

that we have
a very close
relationship going.

Morris,
this is my friend, Wade.

Harry, how would
you like a job?

Doing what?

You know, at school,
helping me out
with the brochures,

guided tours,
press releases.

It's easy,
especially with your
background in writing.

Why don't you come
to dinner tonight?

We'll talk it over.

Okay.
Bring Jan.

Certainly.

Have you got any change?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got lots of change.

What's that, a half a buck?
Mmm-hmm.

There's 25,
there's 31, there's 42...

Harry, no, no, no,
no pennies.

You'll owe me a nickel.

Hey, Wade, wait a second.

A job, dinner, that's fine.

But you've got to leave
a man something, Wade.

I mean, heck, a man has
to retain his dignity.
Now we're even.

No, no, it went fine.
It went fine, Nick.

I just don't know
what I'm gonna do tomorrow.

I got that
goddamned
visual-aids test

right during my
practice teaching.

Harry, could you
take a left here?

Listen, Nick, I don't
mind dropping you off,
but I got to go meet Kasper.

I don't have time
to make a tour of the ghetto.

Hey, is that Bromdecker's
visual-aids course?

You know, the one
with the cellophane

cutouts and
the colored paper?

Yeah.

I took that course.

You want me to
take the exam for you?

You think you could?

Oh, yeah.

Harry, stop. Stop the car.

I just saw my deferment.

Ma'am! Hey, ma'am!
I'd like to talk to you!

Hey, Nick.

Ma'am, could I talk
to you, please?
Hey, Nick!

Wait a minute.
I'm not the heat.

I want to marry you.
See, I...

Hey, Nick!

MAN 1: What the hell is that?

MAN 2: Who do you
think you are?

Come back here, man!

(ENGINE SPUTTERS)

So, Jeff had this
little reversal problem,
and they called us in,

but luckily they catch
these things in time,
and now he's reading fine.

Well, that's great.
That's really great.

Would you like some help?

I could get
the ice tray for you.

No, you don't have to.
It's automatic.

Oh!

That's great, too.

No, no, no problem.

I'll get it for you tomorrow
at the office. An advance.

Harry Bailey, $20, advance.

No problem.

Have another drink?

No, I'm fine.

BOY: Give me the ball!

GIRL: Give me the ball!

So, what'll I write?

Build the school image.

Every time one of
these kids with long hair

blows his nose,
it makes page one.

Then the alumni
contributions fall off,

and the regents
get on my back.

If the kids would only
stop trying to run
the schools themselves

and mind their own
business, and keep out
of left-wing politics.

Wade, it has nothing to do
with left-wing politics.

It's happening
all over the world.

Look, they're having
more trouble

in Peking right now
than we are at Berkeley.

Okay, everybody,
dinner's on the table.
Come while it's hot.

Children, hey,
what about washing
those paws, huh?

Chop-chop. Soup's on.

Now, why don't you sit
right over here, Harry?

I want to sit
next to Daddy!

I want to sit
next to Daddy!

All right, all right.
Now, come on.

You'll both sit next to me.

Go ahead. There you go.
I'll take that, Jan.

Just sit right
down there.

Where's your drink?

Inside.

That looks real nice, hon.

I wanna plug it in!

I wanna plug it in!
I wanna plug it in!

Okay, Jeff, you
can plug it in.

Okay, kids, two big
slices each,

(MEAT CARVER WHIRRING)
so you'll grow up
nice and strong.

Gotta get that old energy

for marching and
picketing and breaking
through police lines.

Wade, please stop it.

Then when you grow up
and get arrested,

why, you can blame
your poor old parents

'cause they were
too nice to you.

Fed you too well,
isn't that right, Harry?

Roquefort or Thousand Island?

Wade, are you sure
you understand

what it's all
about with the kids?

Politics.

Make sure the kids
get beans, will you?

No, it has nothing to
do with politics, Wade.

It's personal identity.

Harry, could we talk
about it after dinner?

What would you
like on your salad?

Personal identity, crap.
The trouble is

they don't
believe in anything.

You mean,
they don't believe in

all the bullshit
you and I believed in,

which, right off the bat,
makes them a lot better off.

They're real lovely,
they are. 12-year-old
girls on LSD.

Taking LSD at 12.

I mean, what kind of
trip could that be?

What kind of memories
could you have at 12?

Snow White,
Winnie the Pooh?

Well, you go ahead
and make your joke,

but you wouldn't
think it was so funny
if you had a daughter.

Then when they get to be 16,
you see them on television

in living color in Chicago,
rioting at the Convention.

Hey, Wade, I saw
that, too, and it was

the police who were
swinging the clubs.

What do you expect
with what those
monsters were doing,

cursing and defecating
in the halls of
the Hilton Hotel?

HARRY: Wade...

We're eating dinner, Wade.

Dumping garbage out
of the hotel windows
on people's heads

and mocking our most
sacred democratic institution
of free elections.

Wade, those kids
are protesting
a bunch of maniacs

who are sending
them off to drop
napalm on people.

You know,
just ordinary people

like you and
Alice and the kids.

Merely defecating
in the lobby of
the Hilton Hotel

seems to be
a pretty tame gesture.

I'd call it
fantastic restraint.

(LAUGHING)

HARRY: What are
you laughing at?

No, come on, tell me.
You have to tell me.

(HORN BLARING)

Oh, come on.
That's not fair.

What are you laughing at?

Oh, God, Harry.
You really did it again.

What a great speech.

You're really lucky
he didn't fire you.

I know, I know, I know.

I just couldn't
help it, you know.

I mean, I just...

It was just too much,
the whole scene.

It just was too much.
I couldn't stand it.

Yeah, I mean,
that little boy,

I wanted to throw my
baked potato at him.

What do you mean?

Oh, you know,
Jan, suburbia.

A picture-windowed look
at the neighbor's adultery!

I don't know
what you're
talking about, Harry.

Of course you know
what I'm talking about.

I mean, you hate that
ricky-tick existence

as much as I do.
As much as they do.

I don't think that
they hate it, Harry.

I think that
they're perfectly happy.

They have a good marriage,
and they have a lovely house.

Yeah, so lovely,
they made another
100 just like it.

Oh, shut up, shut up.

What do you mean,
shut up, Jan?

There's nothing
intrinsically immoral

about getting married
and living in
a tract house, Harry.

Only you'll never
know anything
about that, will you?

Not you, Harry.

Oh, Harry, Jan, wait.
Hey, you weren't gonna

walk by, were you?
I was waiting for you.

We were having a party,
left the door open,
we were waiting for you.

Thanks, Jake,
but some other time.
I'm really bushed.

Oh, man. Come in
just for just one drink.

Come on, don't...
Who's there?

Everybody. All the rejects.

No, really,
I'm going to crash.

I'm very tired.
Harry, let's go in
and have a drink.

Harry, please,
come on, just one drink.

Harry...
Come on, I'm very...

Harry, come on.

Jan, I gotta...

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Harry.

Nick, you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Sure. What happened
with that lady
in the street?

Oh, no, it didn't
work out, man.

She was married already.

Yeah. Probably one
of those guys who
was chasing you, right?

To all of them.

Hey, you know, that
chick collects $900
a week on welfare.

I'll see you later.

Hey, wait a minute.

Don't go away
without saying goodbye now.

Because that big
silver bird in the sky
leaves for Canada tonight.

Really?

All packed.

This is crazy ding-a-ling.

Look, you gotta give me
my gas credit card back.

My old lady saw
the slips you signed.

Harry the teacher.

Not yet, Jake.
Almost. Not yet, though.

Interesting, of course,
but doesn't it do

something to your
personal life? I mean...

There have been times...

I can imagine.

Jan, come on, let's split.

Oh, okay, Harry,
I'll just finish my drink,
is that all right?

What did you say?

I mean, where do
you go from there?

Well...

Jan, come on, let's split.
If I finish this drink

I'm going to fall
through the floor.

And I still have to
study tonight, remember?

Okay. Okay.

Bye, Doc.

Harry, you know what?

What?

Hendrick. Hendrick,
you maniac, later.

I've gotta tell you
why I've been acting
like a bitch lately.

It's okay, honey.
Come on.

No, the reason
I've been acting
like a bitch lately

is because I think
I want to get married.

I know, I know. I know
that it's the insane
American syndrome

to think that if
you aren't married
by the time you're 21,

that you'll end
up an old maid.

But I really think that's
what's happened to me.

I really do.

Jan, what's happened
to you is

that you're feeling
very insecure lately

because I haven't had
the time to tell you
what to do, okay?

So, now, I will tell
you what to do.

We are going to
go across the hall
to your apartment

and, we... I am
going to read my chapters
while you take a shower,

then we're going
to go to bed
and make love,

and in the morning
you'll make me my breakfast

and things will be
just like the way
they used to be.

Now, what do you
think of that?

MAN: What have we here,
one of those
tawdry little domestics?

I think I'll call a cop.

Oh, marvelous,
that's great! Wonderful,

marvelous. She thinks
she'll call a cop.

That's just
what I deserve,

trying to change
a WASP mannequin

into a thinking,
feeling human being.

Imagine trying to educate
a pathetic dum-dum like me.

Offering the great ideas
of our age to a girl
who is so shallow

she sees nothing
wrong with wanting to get

married and live in
a nice neighborhood

and sleep in a bed
that doesn't fold down
from out of the wall.

I'm so middle-class
I might even

enjoy watching
television with my husband.

Well, lots of luck, baby,
I hope both of you
live happily ever after.

Don't worry,
Harry, I didn't mean you.

You bet your sweet
ass you didn't mean me.

Jesus Christ!

It certainly didn't
take you long, did it?

Five bloody minutes
in suburbia, and you're
ready to join up

with the A & P,
blue chip, Little League,

pill-taking,
once-a-week-on-Saturday-night,

"I got a headache, Harry,"
shopping and
chopping society!

Well, the American
bitch strikes again.

Thank you, Ernest Hemingway,
Philip Roth,

Norman Mailer,
F. Scott Fitzgerald!

You know, that is what
is really wrong with
this rotten society!

Instead of
burning our draft cards,

we should be out
burning the library cards

we give to dumb
broads like that.

Harry...

WOMAN: Good girl.

Harry?

If you're so goddamned smart,
why can't you make me happy?

Listen, don't worry about me.

I'm going to be fine.

You know,
I'm just concerned
about you, you know.

I mean, going there
and not knowing anybody.

Oh, no, no, don't
worry about me.

I don't want you
to be alone.

Now, look-it,
I gave you Luan's number.

Now, call her, will you?

'Cause she is a great chick.

And promise me you'll call.

Yeah.
ANNOUNCER: Last call,

Air Canada,
Flight 701, Gate 4,
now boarding.

At least you'll have
a good place to
spend the night.

Take care, man.

Chief Running Water?

Yeah.

Also known as
Nick Philbert?

Yeah.

Your check for $129,
no account.

Now, you stole
their lands.

You took our
natural resources.

You raped their women.

You killed about
10 million of us.

Now you won't
even let us leave
your damned country!

Thug.

Harry.

What do you think
of James Baldwin?

Come on, you can be
honest with me.

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

Well, I think he's
a hell of a writer.

Did you ever make it
with a black chick before?

You got my cherry.

You're pretty good.
But a little inhibited.

Yeah, well, you see,
I was replaying
the '55 World Series

in my mind so I could last.

Who's the greatest
writer you ever read?

Shakespeare, far and away.

Then who?

Name all the best ones.

Well, there was Chaucer.

And... Proust.

And Tolstoy.

Cummings.

Malamud.

Faulkner, sometimes.
Fitzgerald.

Wait a minute.

Here. Write those
down for me, will you?

I should know better,
but I could send you some
if you like. Some books.

No, thanks. I mean,
that's kind of like you
paid me, if you dig.

I didn't mean it that way.

I can find them
in the library.

You got a card, too, huh?

Yeah. You just
write them down.

You'd be surprised
how much I learn that way.

No, no, not a bit.

In fact, your whole approach
to education is fantastic.

It beats the hell
out of group dynamics
and the unit system.

Of course, a class
of 50 would cripple

the teacher
over the long haul.

Well, well, look
who's alive again,
and so soon.

Huh?

Oh...

Ignore him,
he has no conscience.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Hey, Nick?

Nick?

Good morning, my child.

For Christ sakes.

For Christ sakes, man,
what are you
dressed up like that for?

Oh, not for Christ's sake.

For Buddha's sake.

A religious deferment.

Yes, yes.
You see, we of the Bahia

Baba Buddha
Buddhist Brotherhood

are committed to
noninvolvement.

Right. But you're
also committed

to take a test for
me today, remember?

Oh, yes, yes, I know.
I have not forgotten.

Nick, are you high?
Yes,

on love, and brotherhood,
inner peace...

Yeah, what else, what else?

Oh, come on, Harry.

Don't. I mean,
it's too early
in the morning

for that.
I just had breakfast.

I can smell the brownies
on your breath.

Yeah. And it's better
in brownies than
in Rice Krispies.

Nick, are you going
to be able to
remember the answers?

Remember the... Harry.

Okay. Then miss one
or two just to make it
look good, okay?

And the building you
see across the quad is

the second-largest
college library
in the United States.

It's a wonderful school.

You'll have a groovy time.
Terrific memories.

New parking spaces
coming next fall.

Lots of laughs,
plenty of chicks.

Contraception is compulsory.

For every three
loose-leaf books,
you get a package of pills.

Over there is the
Dory Rush Pavilion. And
that is the Ladies' Gym,

and over there is a protest,

which we hope
doesn't turn into a riot.

And that's my girl
in between those two guys.

That pretty one
with the rosy glasses

and the perfectly
chiseled nose.

Excuse me a second.
Don't go away.

Don't apply to
another school.

I'll be right back.

Jan! Jan!

I don't believe it.
What are you doing here?

Last night you were
ready to move to the
suburbs, remember?

You said that, Harry.
I didn't say that.

Look, will you put
the sign down

and stop screwing
around with history?

Harry, I'm not taking
classes from you
anymore, remember?

I dropped out last night.

One other thing.

What?

A man who can't believe
in a cause can never
believe in himself,

and that goes for
a woman, too, Harry.

I hope that
doesn't sound too much

like your
precious Fitzgerald.

Look, it doesn't
sound like Fitzgerald.

It sounds like
me when I was 12.

You should have stuck
around and finished
the course, you know.

You would have saved
yourself a lot of marching.

Look, will you guys
please cut it out?

You're holding up
the whole march.

Now get back in the line.

WOMAN: If you have to
play Virginia Woolf,
do it in the coffee shop.

She hit me in
the head with a sign.

ALL: (CHANTING)
We want Vandy! We want Vandy!
We want Vandy! We want Vandy!

We want Vandy! We want Vandy!
We want Vandy! We want Vandy!

All right now, kids,
get the hell out of here.

Come on, now.
Clear out. All of you.

Not until we see
President Vandenburg.

No, negative.

Now, go on, clear out,
all of you.

(ALL BOOING)

Now, remember,
anybody over 30
is the enemy.

So be careful when
you cheat on your
college boards, okay?

I'll see you
next semester.

And for God's sake,
girls, save yourselves.

We'll be waiting
for you in the fall.

(STUDENTS CHEERING)

(BOOING CONTINUES)

Now, get back to
your classes, or you'll
get absentee slips!

This is our school,
and we're not leaving
till we have a meeting!

Yeah!
ALL: Yeah!

Yeah, well,
you just had
your meeting.

Now, clear out, all of you.

Come on, kids.
Please get off the steps.

Will you please
get off the steps?

Hey! Police brutality!

(ALL LAUGH)

All right, now,
go on. Beat it.

What did they want?

They want to meet
with Vandenburg.

What do they think
this is, Berkeley?

Wow, wow, thank God
you stopped them.

I mean, you have got to draw
the line someplace, right?

And that's the difference
between syntax
and whatever it is.

I don't know what it is.
STUDENTS: Meaning.

Meaning, right.

Okay, we'll continue
the discussion tomorrow.
Class is dismissed.

¶ Feelings

¶ Are washing over me
like summer rain

¶ I feel as if I'm
being born again

¶ And it all began when you
reached and touched my hand ¶

Jan?

Jan?

(SIGHS)

How's everything?

Good.

You?
Good.

Beautiful.

What's happening?

Nothing. Just have
a few people over.

Why don't you
come on in?

I know you two
know each other.

And this is my friend,
Dr. Bill Greengrass.

HARRY: PhD?

No, medical.

Oh, what's your specialty?

GYN.

Gynecologist.

I know that a GYN
is a gynecologist!

Oh, crap!

No, no, that's
a proctologist, Harry.

Harry, how about
a cup of coffee?

Sweetheart,
get Harry a cup of coffee.

Two lumps, buddy?
JAN: Harry, Bill has
been telling us

the most interesting thing.

Harry's going to
be a teacher,
Bill, so I think

that he would fit right
in there, wouldn't he?

Oh, sure. Sure, he would.

Of course,
there'd be absolutely

no problem at all.
He'd fit in fine.

Well, Bill...
Well, anyway, Harry, this...

Bill has a plan
that he was just
telling us about.

No, no, no, I'm sorry.
It's not really my plan,

actually. It's called
a Keho plan.

JAN: Well, it's the most
interesting thing.

Why don't you tell Harry
about the Keho plan?

Go ahead and tell
Harry about the plan.

Sure.

Yes, tell Harry
about the plan, Bill.

Sure. Well, you see,
instead of just buying
straight life insurance,

you buy mutual funds,

then you go and
you borrow the money

to pay for a short-term
life-insurance policy.

Now, the dividends,
you see, from the mutual
funds will, in fact,

pay for the premium
on the life,

so that, say, at the
end of 20 years,

instead of just having
a paid-up life
insurance policy

you'll wind up with
a good $500,000 estate.

That's terrific. That's...

Yeah.

But I'm a little confused.

Well, I'll send you
a brochure.

No, no, no. I mean,
I thought that you
were a gynecologist.

You know, gynecologist,
women, pain, babies,

and now I find out
that you are really
the Vice President

of the City National Bank!

Harry, it's your
own philosophy.

I mean, why be victims
of the insurance companies,

letting them make millions
off us, when we
can do it ourselves?

Oh, you're going to
explain capitalism
to me now, right?

That is just what I need,
for you to tell me that!

I mean, when did you
become a capitalist?

Last night at
3:00 in the morning?

Yesterday,
you were out marching
with the picket lines,

and now you're telling me
about how to make $1,000,000!

You know, you have
the loyalty of a snail!

What happens tomorrow, huh?

George Rockwell
comes back from the dead,

and he gives
you a quick hump,

and you're going to
be telling me that they

should send the
Negroes back to Africa?

That's very true.

What?

No, what you were saying
about women, Harry.
It's very true, really.

They seem to have,
you know,

that marvelous ability
to adapt to whatever
man they're with.

That's one of their more
charming traits, actually.

Yeah. Oh, you know
about women.

I know you know about women.

I know what you
know about women,

and I know where
you know about women!

Well, then, you've got
to admit that's

not a bad way to
know about women, right?

Harry, you're making
a fool of yourself.

Doctor, you have
found the perfect girl!

As a matter of fact,
she is your specialty.

The two of you
belong together!

I hope you have
a happy life!

And when it's all over

and this disloyal little
girl with the hot pants

has run off with
a 6'4" Greek dishwasher,

a little teeny-weeny
little man is going

to come
knocking at your door,

and he's going to say,
"Doctor, Doctor,

"here's your check
for $500,000 on
the Keho plan,"

which, considering
the inflationary spiral,

buddy, should be
worth just about enough

to grab a cab to
the nearest dock
where you can jump off,

you poor son of a bitch,

and drown yourself!

He isn't usually like this.

No, no, it's all right,
really.

You're very funny, Harry.

A very amusing guy, really.

Very funny.

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

Harry, it really is exciting.

I mean, really tremendous,
the great things
that are being accomplished.

It was the most
marvelous thing that
could ever happen

to those poor people
in the Appalachian region.

Sheila, it's really
getting late.

Want me to call you a cab?

A cab?

Yeah. I'm really beat.

But, Harry, this
is my apartment.

Huh?

Oh.

Oh, yeah, all right,
well, listen,

tell me some more of
the wonderful things
Lyndon B. Johnson did.

Okay, now, listen.

Don't come on too
strong, you know.

Don't be too obvious.

Oh, don't worry,
man, I'm cool.

Hey, good luck.

No sweat.

Yoo-hoo, sir, I've
come to take my physical.

Sure, honey, sure.

Back there with
the rest of the fags.

OFFICER: Come on, let's go.

Hup, two, three and a four!

Spread your cheeks!

Don't get worried
about the master's oral.

After all, there's
a limit to what they can

put you through in
a matter of three hours.

WOMAN ON BULLHORN:
Where's freedom now?

1:00 tomorrow.
Mass student meeting

in the Student
Union Building.

KASPER: Dr. Ramsgate will
examine you in Chaucer.

How is your
Chaucerian English?

Middling.

Oh, by the way,

Dr. Lysander will
question you
on the 20th century.

Be careful.

(EXPLOSION)

(AIR SQUEALING)

(METAL CLANKING)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Nick, are you all right?
Where did you
get that haircut?

I beat it, man.
I beat them.

You mean the fag
routine worked?

Oh, no, no, man.
They took me.
But I beat it.

I mean, I foxed them.

I went next door and
enlisted in the Marines.

At least you haven't lost
your sense of humor.

Oh, no, no!

Oh, listen, man.
You should see those guys.

They're tough.

Oh, boy, are they tough.
Oh, and some of
the guns and stuff,

like automatic
weapons and things.

Oh, Harry, it is wild.

Gee, that's swell, Nick.

Look, why don't
you take it easy?

You're on a bummer.

You want to lie down,
you could use my bed.

Oh, no, no.
Harry, listen.
I'm straight.

I've even got myself
signed up to train
for a special job,

belly gunner
in a helicopter,

John Wayne-ing it
in an open door

with a .50-caliber
machine gun.

(IMITATING MACHINE
GUN FIRING)

Come on, Nick.
Look, don't be upset.

I mean,
we'll get you out of it.

We'll go down there,
and we'll explain it to them.

You may have to go away
for a couple of months.

Jesus Christ, what
a crazy thing to do, Nick.

Hey, hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

What kind of a cruddy,
yellow attitude is that?

Now, come on, Harry,
this country is in trouble.

I mean, we could be
fighting on Coney Island
in just two weeks.

Nick, they don't want
Coney Island.

Not since we tore
down the rollercoaster.

You listen to me,
man, we've got enemies!

This ain't no free ride!

We have got to do our duty!

Great. You go do
your duty and come back

when you feel better,
all right?

Hey, wait a minute.
Now, don't you go

pushing me around.
You understand?

Oh, shit. You all right?

(CRYING) Why, listen,
man, I came here
because I love you.

Are you all right?

I just hope
you've got the guts

to do what you know
is right, like I'm doing.

Nick, you're not
feeling guts.

You can't play by
your own rules, Harry.

We've got rules
in this country.

Boy, you break them,
you're gonna pay the price.

Nick, will you get
the hell out of here?

You gotta tell them, Harry.

Nick, you tell them.
You're doing great.

No! No! No! No.

It was your test.
It's gotta come from you.

What?

You gotta tell Wilhunt
that you cheated.

Oh, come on!

Harry, I can't go
away and fight

for my country with
that on my conscience.

Now, if you don't do it,
I'm gonna have to.

Nick, you're out
of your mind.

You're going to
get me expelled.

Well, I don't have
any choice.

Harry, I made a commitment
to decency today.

Oh, Jesus, it feels good.

Now, you think about that.

Nick!

You're not
going to tell them?

Well, I'm sure I won't
have to, Harry, 'cause
I got faith in you.

ALL: (CHANTING)
Action now! Action now!
Action now!

Action now!
Action now! Action now!

Harry, Harry, listen,
man, you gotta keep
that goddamn friend

of yours away from me
'cause next time I see him,
I'm going to bust him.

Who? What?
I don't know who you're...
Nick Philbert.

When did you see Nick?

About 10 minutes ago,
man. He's crazy.

He's trying to
get me kicked out
of the Art Department

for subversive painting.

Oh, Christ.
He's really flipped.

I mean, My Wife's Ass
is a subversive painting?

ALL: Action now!
Action now! Action now!

Action now! Action now!
Action now! Action now!

Action now! Action now!
Action now! Action now!

Action now! Action now!
Action now! Action now!

Action now!
Action now! Action now!

Action now!
Action now! Action now!

(SIREN BLARING)
Action now!
Action now! Action now!

Action now!
Action now!

Come on! More!
More!

Action now!
Action now! Action now!

Action now! Action now...

Action now! Action now...

(CROWD CLAMORING)

(CROWD BOOING)

ALL: Pigs go home!
Pigs go home!

Pigs go home! Pigs go home!
Pigs go home! Pigs go home!

Pigs go home! Pigs go home!
Pigs go home! Pigs go home!

Pigs go home! Pigs go home!
Pigs go home! Pigs go home!

Pigs go home! Pigs go home!
Pigs go home! Pigs go home!

Pigs go home! Pigs go home!
Pigs go home! Pigs go home!

Pigs go home! Pigs go home!
Pigs go home! Pigs go home!

Pigs go home! Pigs go home!
Pigs go home! Pigs go home!

Pigs go home! Pigs go home!
Pigs go home! Pigs go home!

Pigs go home! Pigs go home!
Pigs go home! Pigs go home!

Hi. How are you?

How's everything going?

Piggy, piggy, piggy.
Piggy, pig.

Piggy, piggy, piggy.
Piggy, piggy, piggy.

(MARSHALS)

OFFICER OVER BULLHORN:
Keep your line straight and
push them back to the stairs.

Move them back.

Keep your line straight.

Push them back
down the stairs.

Down the stairs.

How much are you getting paid
to break in heads today?

Have you been practicing
on your wife and kids?

Say, do you know
what fascism means,
huh, piggy?

You're mine and
I want you, baby.

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

MAN ON BULLHORN: This is
a peaceful demonstration!

(LOUD BOOING)

This is
a peaceful demonstration!

(ALL SHOUTING)

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

MAN ON BULLHORN: This is
a peaceful demonstration!

Tear gas, fire!

Get your gas masks on!

Get your gas masks on!

This is
a peaceful demonstration!

Please,
please, stop, leave him!

Stop, leave him!
He's my friend!

You stupid bastard!
You stupid...

This is
a peaceful demonstration!

(SCREAMS)

Jan!

Hey, have you seen Jan?

Jan!

Jan!

Jan.

(SOBBING)

Oh, my poor baby.

Oh, Jan.

Oh, my poor baby, Jan.

Harry.

Oh, Jan.

That was great.

That was just great.

It's always just
great with you.

Better than with
the gynecologist?

Wait a minute,

you don't have
to answer that.
I didn't mean that.

I know you didn't.

I didn't.

I guess you said
a lot of things
that you didn't mean.

Like me being
a snail and a WASP.

Jesus, I really get
crazy, don't I?

Uh-huh.

But it doesn't matter.
So do I.

Yeah.

You really
learned a lot from me.

I mean, I knew you
didn't give a damn

for that idiot
Dr. Greengrass.

By the way,
look, I'm curious...

Did you sleep with him?

No, no, no,
don't tell me,
don't tell me.

I'm doing it again.

I mean,
I knew it was all just
a rebellion against me.

You know,
like your big interest
in the protest thing,

it was all just
a reaction to my
being a bully,

and trying to
manipulate your mind, right?

Wrong.

You did sleep
with Greengrass.

I do care about the protest.

And if you had been there
and seen those kids

and everything
they went through,

and those cops
and what they did...

Yeah, I know, I know.

It was awful.
They were having a ball.

Having a ball?
Having their
heads cracked open,

having their eyes
burned out with Mace,

being dragged by their hair
to police wagons?

If you had been there...

I was there.

I was there.
I saw everything.

Well, then, how can
you not care?

I mean, how can you
of all people
be so insensitive?

How can you be so
cavalier? It was ugly!

It was sexy.

Sexy?

Sexy.

Okay, get out your notebook.

For three units, Riots 1A.

Jan, do you think
you're the only one
who got laid tonight?

Oh, you bastard, you!

Oh, come on, honey,
come on.

I mean, all those
boys and girls running
and jumping and kicking

and squealing and
tearing and pulling.

I mean, after
the riots at the Sorbonne,

I could not stand
up for two weeks,

and I didn't get
within 500 feet of a cop.

Same thing at Berkeley.

Jan, when you came
running in here tonight,

you were so turned on,
you nearly slid out

of bed twice before
I could even kiss you.

That's it.
Finished. It's all over.

Oh, come on, honey,
don't take me so literally.

That's it! That's it!

Come on, honey,
don't take me so literally.

Will you come on back to bed?

Harry, I'd rather get back
in bed with a eunuch!

Dr. Greengrass?

Hardly. At least when
I leave his apartment
I feel like a woman.

Woman? You're not a woman!

You're just a guy with
a hole in the middle!

(DOOR SLAMS)

Thank God I don't love her.

Harry, Vandenburg
wants you, and you're
acceptable with the students,

so what's the problem?

The problem is it's
a rotten thankless job,
and I don't want to do it.

So, what's so difficult?
You take the kids' requests,

and you take it
to Vandenburg.

Wade, I got my
master's oral tomorrow.

Look, it's an hour
of your time.

I promise you it'll
be quick and easy.

Look, if it's that easy,
why don't you do it?

They don't trust
me, Harry.

These kids
don't trust anybody.

I can't imagine why.

(STUDENTS CLAMORING)

And so,
to the brave little band
who made it here today,

I'd like to wish you all
good luck next semester.

SOLDIER: Hup, two, three,
four. Hup, two, three, four.

If there is a
next semester.

I think that
concludes our business.

Except for Mr. Garcia.

Remember,
I need that book report
by the close of the day.

Yeah, you're gonna
get it, Mr. Bailey.

I'm writing it right now.

As soon as I
finish the last chapter.

Hey, don't laugh.
That's good stuff.

I'll give it
back to you, Garcia.

Wow.

Man, these things
were my passion!

I used to lie in bed
under the blankets,

and read them
with my flashlight.

And it wasn't till years
later that I found out
why I really dug them.

You know, there's
a definite similarity

between the crusading
of a Batman,

or Captain Marvel,
or Red Ryder,

and the heroics
of Don Quixote.

It's that
19th-century romanticism

that 20th-century
heroes are made of.

You finish that, Garcia.

MAN OVER BULLHORN: Get
the uniforms off this campus.

(PROTESTERS SHOUTING)

Well, Harry, up the rebels.
They've won.

Some of those old
biddies on the board
put up a pretty good fight.

But hell,
I don't mind a fight.

Really surprised me, though,
when they came through.

That's great, sir.
That's marvelous.

Have you ever spent
four hours trying
to convince a man

who owns five barber shops,
with a mentality to match,

that he was once 18
years old himself?

Oh, yes, sir.
About 10 years ago.

It was my father.

Who won the argument?

Well, I'm still
smoking, sir.

It's too late for us.

But don't let your
kids smoke, Harry.

Oh, that's right, sir.
I certainly won't.

Well, let's get to it,

so that hopefully
we can get back

to the dull
business of education.

Now, on the
coeducational restrictions
in the dorms.

Beginning this
coming semester,

we are raising
the weekday curfews

one whole hour.

An hour?

Number two,
the Black Studies
courses on campus

are, of course,
an impractical project,

financially and otherwise,
at this time.

Nevertheless,
there is every indication

that we can initiate
a Negro History Week
in the foreseeable future.

Number three,
lowering the academic

requirements for
the minority groups.

Beginning next summer,
five Negro students

and five Mexican Americans
will receive
half-scholarships.

Now, that was
the real battle,

but when I pointed
out to them that

we could pick top
athletes out of this group,

that was the butter
in the frying pan.

We got it.

Didn't think we
could win that one,

did you, Harry?

You're crazy.

I said you're crazy.

Are you feeling
all right, Harry?

It's too late
for these answers.

20 years too late.

Harry, this is
a very reasonable

and generous set
of counterproposals,

and it's the best
they're going to get.

I feel like Lafayette in
the court of Louis XVI.

I understand, Harry.
Don't be nervous.

No, that's not
what I meant.

The peasants are ready
to burn down Versailles,

storm the Bastille,

and overturn
the French monarchy,

and you are telling me

that if I go back to them

and tell them that 50 of them

can come to the next
costume ball at the palace,

they'll keep quiet
for another 100 years.

It's too late for
those kind of answers.

You'll drive them crazy,
Dr. Vandenburg.

They'll burn
down your school!

You are turning them
into full-scale
revolutionaries.

Do you really
believe we're
going to turn

this school over
to a bunch of kids

who pay a few
hundred dollars a
year nominal tuition

and that that qualifies
them to run a university
that has produced

four governors,
three senators

and a president of
the United States?

Dr. Vandenburg...

Harry, I am a liberal man!

A liberal, enlightened man

who has, I hope, the courage,
when the chips are down,

not to be
intimidated by
a misguided mob

of pseudo-political
novices with inflamed
literary imaginations!

Please, stop it!

Stop it! Stop it!
Some day you'll thank me!

Please, listen to me!
Stop it!

You've been
a naval commander.

You are a doctor.

You have a PhD in history.

Why haven't you
learned anything?

It's all there,
it's all there in Toynbee
and those books on the shelf!

Suppression breeds violence!

You're going to
raise the curfew an hour?

Will you look outside?

You see that kid?

Last week he just
wanted to get laid!

Now he wants to
kill somebody!

Pigs, go home!

(STUDENTS CHEERING)

You should have
let him get laid!

Is this the issue?

Yes, freedom of
choice is an issue!

Hypocrisy, sexual or
otherwise, is an issue!

That's right!
Let them run wild.

Five men on our
board of regents

have daughters who
go to this school.

What do you want
me to tell them?

Go read Kinsey
and Havelock Ellis?

What are you holding onto?

This university is
just a small piece
of the rest of the world!

The only way it's
going to survive
is if it changes!

If you didn't
want them to think,

you shouldn't have
given them library cards!

Now it's too late!

Harry, I am not
giving them this school!

They don't want your school,

they just want a say
in determining
their future!

Then first let them
learn to obey the law.

First let them ask
if your laws are just.

Do you think
people should be allowed
to decide for themselves

whether a law is just?
Why, that's anarchy.

This nation was
founded on law and order.

Bullshit!
This nation was
born out of disorder

and founded on freedom
and the will of the people!

People need guidance, Harry.

Give them what
they want today,

and what will they
ask for next, tomorrow?

I don't know.
Maybe a 40-hour week.

Maybe the vote for women.

What difference
does it make?

Will you let go?

Let go! Stop trying to
hold back the
hands of the clock!

It'll tear your arms out!

Go on, Harry.

Take it to them.

Just as it is.

You'll see.

Go on.

Harry.

We're not unreasonable men.

We're not as square
as you might think.

This university
may be a tower,

but it's not
made out of ivory.

This won't be the
first time in your
Toynbee's history there

that a bunch of
basically good kids with
hyperthyroid convictions

thought they were
going to save the world.

I understand their problems.

I share them.

Go on.

Take it to them.

(LOUD CHEERING)

They will not cheat us
out of our rights and
our responsibilities.

This is our university.
This is our country.

And we will not
let them rob us
of our futures.

They will learn if they try,
that we will not be
silent any longer!

ALL: Pigs go home!
Pigs go home!

Pigs go home! Pigs go home!
Pigs go home! Pigs go home!

Pigs go home! Pigs go home!
Pigs go home! Pigs go home!

Pigs go home! Pigs go home!
Pigs go home! Pigs go home!

Pigs go home! Pigs go home!
Pigs go home! Pigs go home!

That's the scene
here as tempers

and tensions
continue to build.

There's one bright note
on this troubled campus,

and that is tomorrow
the current semester ends.

Let's hope that
when school reopens
here next Monday,

reason will
once again prevail.

Today in Vietnam, American...

Pretty good color,
isn't it?

I suppose you think

I've called you here
to put you through
some rigmarole about

classroom progress reports
and student attendance.

Something you consider
an utter waste of time.

No, not a waste
of time, Dr. Wilhunt.

Do you want to
start with the tardies?

Are you quite sure that
you want to make a
career of teaching, Harry?

Yes, I'm quite sure
I want to make

a career of teaching,
Dr. Wilhunt.

That's a shame,
because I'm
utterly convinced

that you'll never
be a good teacher.

You'd be a disgrace
to the profession.

Why?

Because you're dishonest.

This is your
audio-visual
exam booklet.

Nick Philbert's
a deeply disturbed
human being.

You'd know that if
you talked to him.

Of course, I could
see that he was upset.

That doesn't
alter the fact that
that printing isn't yours.

Look, Dr. Wilhunt.
Dr. Wilhunt. Let me...

Dr. Wilhunt, you know
what a farce this
visual-aids course is.

If you like,
I can take the exam again

right now and
get a better grade

than this maniac
did in the booklet.

Please let me
prove it to you.

You miss the point, Harry.

I don't doubt
your cleverness.

It's your integrity.

The fact is you
cheated on the exam.

Right! Right!
You're right!

I did cheat on that exam.

You're absolutely right.

Congratulations,
I cheated on the exam.

You have saved the system.

So what if another witch
is burned at the stake?

But you know something,
you don't fool me.

You don't fool me,
Dr. Wilhunt.

I'm not being crucified
because of this
visual-aids test,

I'm getting wiped
out because I wouldn't

pay homage to
your great scheme

of assembly-line
mechanical teaching methods.

I wouldn't work in
this ridiculous...

This ridiculous
robot factory.

You're overreacting, Harry.

I'm not overreacting.

Contrary to what
it is convenient
for you to believe,

I am not Mephistopheles.

I don't want
to ruin your life.

I'm not going
to turn you in.

Unless I have to.

Then what do
you want me to do?

I want you to
resign from the
Education Department.

I just don't
want you to have
a teaching credential.

Go get your master's.

Teach at the university.

But stay out of
my department.

You're dangerous.
You just don't fit in.

You really do believe
in what you're
doing, don't you?

You're a fool!
You know, you're a fool.

You're not a monster,
you're a...

Of course not, Harry.

Harry, we're none
of us monsters.

Not even you.

But my class,
what about my class?

Oh, it will be taken care of.

I've got the grade book,
and the final
papers are all in.

Dr. Wilhunt.

I love children.

That's not enough, Harry.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Harry, could I come in?
I would like to talk to you.

I've made a decision.

Jan, please.

I'm in terrible trouble.
And if I start
talking to you,

I know we're going to
have an insane fight,
and I don't want to fight.

Because, look,
it's always my fault,
I admit that,

but my guts ache
when it's over.

I want to talk to you, Jan.
I really want to talk to you,

but it has to be tomorrow.
I got to study tonight.

Harry, it's important.

I'm... Sure. I'm sorry.
Come on in for a second.

Harry, what's wrong?

Nothing, really.
It's the pressure, I guess.
You know, I mean,

tomorrow's the big day,
and I got my oral.

What did you want to tell me?

Harry, you look terrible.

What's the matter?

Nothing.

It's nothing
that won't go away.

Here, read this.

I think you'll get
a kick out of it.

Oh, yeah. Garcia.

"I finished Batman.

"And because of what
Mr. Bailey say,

"I go to the library
and read Don Quixote.

"He better than Batman.

"He braver."

Oh, Harry.

That's so beautiful.

He really understood.

Yeah.

But it's all over now.

I got booted out
of the Education Department.

How?
Wilhunt.

Nick Philbert
took a test for...

I let him take a test.

You know me.

Self-destructive
Harry Bailey.

And now I'm out.

You mean you can't go back?

Yeah.

I can get my master's
if I pass the
oral tomorrow.

And maybe my PhD someday,

and teach college
along with Kasper
and Wilhunt,

and the rest of
the Ancient Mariners
if I ever make it.

I might as well go
through the motions.

There ain't
nothing left to do.

Oh, Harry, I'm so sorry.

Yeah, I know.
All those months

(IMITATES CAMERA CLICKING)

down the drain. Right?

I don't know what to say.

Just say, Goodbye, Mr. Chips.

Goodbye to
the high school tennis team
I'd volunteer to coach.

And the HI-Y dances

where Mr. Bailey

wins the day.

When all the boys

are allowed to
wear their hair
any way they want to.

Goodbye to the bright faces
and bright minds

that could be anything
if somebody would
give them half a chance.

Goodbye, Garcia.

Oh...

Don't...

Jan, what's the matter?

It's what I came
here to tell you.

Jan...

It's Bill. He's asked
me to marry him.

Jan, don't...

And he wants
an answer by tomorrow.

And...

And?

And I'm going
to tell him yes.

I figured that I...
I ought to tell you first.

I mean, I owe
you that much.

Harry.

It wasn't going to work out
between you and me.

I needed certain
things just like you did.

I know that I was
ruined and destroyed,

but that's the
way I am now.

And I need a normal life.

Like you, Harry.

You went back to school

because you had
to make something
of your life.

Well, so do I.

Anyway,

I've decided,

and I want you to know.

I wish you'd yell at me
or something, Harry.

Help me, Harry!

I can't help you.

I got nothing left to give.

They took everything.

Even you.

Let them have it.

Whatever they want.
Do you understand?

'Cause they're not
going to stop me.

I'm going to take the oral,
and I'm going to pass it.

And I'm going
to be a teacher,

and I'm going to teach

the truth

to somebody.

I love you.

Goodbye.

NICK: Harry, come on.

You know, I know
I've been in a bad way.

And I don't
remember what happened.

I mean,
did I do something wrong?

Hey, you know,
I went down
the induction center,

and they wouldn't take me.

They stamped
"constitutionally
inferior" on my papers.

I mean,
do you believe that?

It figures.

The Marines want guys
who are crazy about killing.

They don't want guys
who are just crazy.

Hey, man, are
you mad at me?

I mean, look, you know,
if I did something wrong...

Wow, I mean, I'm sorry.

I mean, I wouldn't do
anything to hurt you.

Jesus Christ!

In this whole horrible mess,
can't I even have
the luxury of hating you?

Hold this, will you?

Nick.

KASPER: Oh, here
you are, Harry.

Come on, they're
waiting for you.

The committee has assembled
to create a bad impression.

HARRY: ...from the dragon,
who is represented by Error.

And it takes 12 cantos
for the knight to prevail.

But perhaps more interesting

is the political allegory
beneath the moral allegory.

Elizabeth I is
the knight's Queen.

Lord Leicester
is Prince Arthur,

and Mary Queen of
Scots is represented
by Duessa or Falsehood.

ALL: (MURMURING)
That's very good.

Who's your
favorite contemporary
American novelist?

Fitzgerald is,
for one, with Gatsby.

William Faulkner,
Sound and Fury.

Nathanael West's
Miss Lonelyhearts.

Excuse me?

Can we go back?

There's fairly
general agreement,
at least among scholars,

that Tender Is the Night
is Fitzgerald's major work,

but you...
You mentioned Gatsby.

Why?

Well, I suppose because
the character of Gatsby
fascinates me so.

His great illusion
that you can use
wealth or power

to buy back the life
you misspent
trying to acquire them.

It's the American dream.

And the character
of Nick Carraway
is masterfully drawn.

From page one,
it's fascinating

how Fitzgerald
makes you believe

he's going to be
telling you the truth.

Ahhh!

And does Carraway
tell the truth?

Sure, so far as he knows it.

So far as he knows it.

And as quickly as
he finds it out,

we get Gatsby's whole story,
beautifully complete.

And Carraway's whole story.

Carraway's story?
Mmm-hmm.

Carraway's story?
It's not his book.

I'm afraid you miss
the point, Mr. Bailey.

It is, in a most important
way, Carraway's story.

Let me show you what
I mean another way.

What woman
serves as Carraway's

romantic interest
in the book?

Jordan Baker.

Jordan Baker.

It's an odd name, isn't it?

Do you recall her
physical traits?

Of course, yes.

She was lean and
she was athletic.

Yes.

And she...

(CLEARS THROAT)

She played golf.

Yeah. She played golf.

A man's game.

She was lean,
small-breasted.

In fact, she was
altogether very
boyish, wasn't she?

Carraway found
her attractive.

Precisely, but not
attractive enough

to overshadow
the primary repressed lust,

that of Carraway
for Gatsby!

You think Carraway
was queer for Gatsby?

(ALL MURMURING)

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's just that it's
such a revelation.

Your naivete amazes
me, Mr. Bailey.

Did you truly
overlook the homosexuality

at the core of
The Great Gatsby?

I did.

I...

I guess basically I did.

Because my mind
was on other things.

But now that you've

pointed out,

I can see how

you can interpret it that...

Interpret it?

F. Scott Fitzgerald
was driven by
a terrible need

to express his
own homosexual panic

through his characters,
Mr. Bailey!

(SIGHS)

Homosexual panic?

Fitzgerald?

The man was
a homosexual, Mr. Bailey.

I don't think he was.

Well, everybody knows that.

Well...

Isn't that right?

It's...

(STAMMERING)
It's possible. It's...

It's possible, but...
I don't... He wouldn't...

It's possible. I...

But I feel, if it's...

It's possible. I think
it might... It would be...

It's possible,
but it's...

It's going to be
a surprise to Sheila Graham!

I beg your pardon?

I said, it's going to
be a hell of a surprise
to Sheila Graham!

(MURMURING)
Mr. Bailey.

Zelda is not
going to believe that!

Mr. Bailey, what is
the major verse form
of English literature?

The limerick is
the major verse form
of the English language!

Calm yourself, Mr. Bailey.

No, no, no, the limerick
is very pertinent
to our discussion

of Fitzgerald's sexuality!

Haven't you heard?
Haven't you heard?

Mr. Bailey!

One day gay F. Scott
in his gloom

Took a lesbian
up to his room

They argued all night
As to who had the right

To do what and with
which and to whom!

I think we've
had enough of this!

No, no, no!

Dr. Hesselwhite,
the writers of your century
had their hang-ups, too.

Even Shakespeare.
Stop it! Stop it, Mr. Bailey!

Do you know Shakespeare?

A young bawd in
a brothel did waken

To find all her
organs were aching

She thought it was
Will's doing

But all that rough screwing

Was authored by
Sir Francis Bacon!

Stop it!

Stop this farce! Stop it!

This farce! Stop it! Wait!

Gentlemen, scholars!
From this inspired beginning,

the limerick evolved downward
to its present level.

Until by the 18th
century we had...

Blind Milton left
God in the skies

To leap on his
wife by surprise

He said, "Dear, I can't see
So if you'll open your knee

"It will help to
me find paradise!"

(SHOUTING)
How dare you
do that in here!

Filthy, rotten, trashy boy!

This board of
examiners is adjourned!

Wait a minute, gentlemen!

(HARRY SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

(ALL CLAMORING)

This is my master's oral!

This is my master's!

I need some attention!

Let go of me!
Leave me alone!

Come here.

You look like
an anal invert

who practices
autoeroticism.

Oh, God. Please don't!

You son of a...

Have you heard about
the old man from Corfu?

Or the young
man from Kent?

(PANTING)

Why, Harry?

Why throw it all
away like that?

I'm sorry, Kasper.

I truly am.

I couldn't help it.

What are you going
to do now?

Kasper.

Don't you understand?

It's not what
you do that counts.

It's what you are.

(GLASS SHATTERING)

Whoopee.

(STUDENTS SHOUTING)

(EXPLOSION)

(GIRLS SCREAMING)

Jan! Jan!

Jan, I got it back!
I got it back!

I failed!
I failed the master's!

How come?

I didn't like it.

I don't belong there.

What about Dr. Greengrass?

I told him no.

How come?

I don't like him.
I don't belong there.

¶ Can't you see the writing
on the wall?

¶ And don't you feel at all?

¶ Oh, say, by the dawn's
early light can't you see?

¶ You're shafted from
the cradle to the grave

¶ This may no longer
be the land of the free

¶ Thank God it's still
the home of the brave

¶ La, la

¶ La, la, la, la, la

¶ La, la

¶ La, la, la, la

¶ La, la, la, la, la, la

¶ La, la, la, la, la

¶ La, la

¶ La, la, la, la, la... ¶