Original subtitles

Previously on "Broke..."

SAMMY: My family used to be

- just me and my mom. - (DOORBELL RINGS)

Until one day the doorbell rang.

It was my mom's sister, Aunt Lizzie...

- Hi there! - ?Jackie, it is us!

...her husband T�o Javi and Luis.

Who is Luis, you ask?

Luis is my assistant, my driver,

but more importantly, my friend.

SAMMY: T�o Javi messed up and lost all his money,

so he and Aunt Lizzie had to move in with us,

which is great because now the house is loud and busy and fun,

and I hope it stays that way.

Oh, Luis, take a picture of me struggling with this trunk,

and send to mi pap�.

Please, Javier, allow me.

You haven't carried anything through a door since your wedding day.

And even then, I helped.

But I need him to see that I've changed

and now understand what hard work is. Come.

(GRUNTING) Got it?

- Got it. - Good.

(WIND WHISTLING): S�...

Am I crazy or did the fireplace just say "s�"?

It whistles like that whenever the Santa Ana winds kick up.

Mom used to bug Dad to fix it, because it's super annoying.

And now Lizzie's bugging me to fix it, which is super annoying.

(WIND WHISTLING): S�...

I kind of like it.

It's like getting positive reinforcement

from a spooky Spanish man.

Hi, guys. What's all this stuff?

Javier's mother finally sent us some of our things!

She sent all of the essentials.

Exactly! Ooh, vases,

tiny espresso cups.

(GASPS) My favorite

sculpture/bracelet holder.

Ah. Oh.

This will look perfect in the foyer.

If "foyer" is French for trash,

then I agree.

Oh, my cashmere throws!

This will look perfect covering...

practically anything here.

No.

Nothing fancy.

Sammy and I need to be able to eat on the couch

without worrying if we're gonna drop a pickle.

Sammy, pickle, six o'clock.

I'm all over it.

Couch pickles aside,

I just think this place could use a little sprucing up.

Sprucing up how?

A little painting, a little recovering,

a lot of recycling.

You want to throw that pillow out?

No, I don't want to throw it out.

I want to light it on fire and launch it down the Ganges.

You're just like Mom, always trying

to change things around here.

Well, you're just like Dad,

whose decorating style was:

"I'm sure we'll get used to the smell."

And we did.

Just let me make some changes.

I live here, too. I should have a say.

This is my house, and I like it the way it is.

But have you ever considered the reason why you like it

is because you have horrible taste?

I just want your weird stuff out of here.

My things are not weird!

JAVIER: Behold!

What the hell is that?

It is a painting I made of Elizabeth.

Let me clarify.

Javier is an amazing artist,

but he's never been great at painting hands.

Hence, the modesty birds.

Well, I love it.

And I think it looks perfect there.

I hate it, and it's coming down.

- ELIZABETH: Wait, no. Stop! - ?Oh!

(STAMMERS) Oh!

Oh, God.

Don't worry, mi coraz�n, I will paint you

a new Mona-Lizabeth right away.

He can paint it, but it is not going up there.

Yes, it is. It's a masterpiece.

It's freakin' parrot porn!

Paint it and put it up, honey.

I wouldn't if I were you, honey.

Dare I say, you are in a pickle.

- Is there another pickle? - No.

No, no. ?No, no.

Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com

Do you know what I think

Jackie's problem was with the painting?

Besides all the things she said?

No.

Well, it was only of Elizabeth.

If a painting is going up over the mantle,

it should feature both sisters.

But what bird to replace Jackie's hands?

Any ideas, Sammy?

I like ducks.

Ah... a mallard man.

Luis,

to the finest art supply store in Beverly Hills.

How much money do we have to spend?

To the cheapest paint store in Reseda.

Very well. I will lay out your painting clothes.

(PHONE CHIMES)

This is weird.

Oh, I drizzled a little balsamic on the melon

to give it a little oomph.

JACKIE: Come on, Sammy, school!

Sorry, looks like I'm gonna have to take my oomph to go.

No, the melon isn't weird.

I just got a message from mi pap�.

Apparently, he hasn't gotten the pictures

you've sent of my struggles.

Really?

And this is terrible, because if mi pap�

doesn't see my efforts, how will he open his arms,

his heart,

his bank accounts?

Luis?

Any idea why he hasn't gotten the photos?

Do you want me to ask around?

I want to know the truth.

The only thing I can think of

is perhaps he did not get them...

because I thought it was a horrible idea to send them.

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...barbecue accessories.

Ah.

Hey, are you a painter?

Why, yes, I am.

How can you tell?

Lucky guess.

Look, I can pay you $120 for the day.

Let me know now; the truck's leaving,

and the house won't paint itself.

- Oh, a house painter? - ?Yeah.

Well, a real job like that will impress mi pap�.

Let me confer with my assistant.

No.

I can make my own decisions.

Sure, guy.

I will just let my assistant know.

Assistant, huh?

Okay, I'll just tell my, uh,

chauffeur to get the Chevy warmed up.

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Javier?

Javi?

Has anyone seen an undeniably handsome man about this tall?

Oh, I thought you liked the sound

of the fireplace whistling.

I do, but it turns out

I hate the sound of you complaining even more.

Looks like the damper's stuck.

Hang on a sec.

There's some kind of shelf in here.

And a box.

If it's money or a map to money or a riddle

that leads to a map to money, we're splitting it.

Damn it, there's a lock!

Calm down. I have a key.

(GRUNTS) Whoa.

That is the biggest diamond I have ever seen.

It-it's probably mine!

I could've dropped it!

I'm just kidding. It's just a bunch of old letters.

It's made out to Mom.

"I can't wait to see you again.

"I need you.

"I long for your kiss.

Love, Alex."

Whoa.

Did Mom ever talk about an Alex?

That must've been before Dad.

Well, that's a good theory until you get to:

"P.S., I hope your husband isn't suspicious of us""

Oh, my God.

Lizzie, was Mom having an affair?

(WIND WHISTLING): S�...

(SIGHS)

Believe it or not, this is my first

painting commission not featuring birds.

Though I will say that a tiny robin

would look charming in the corner.

Let's just keep it simple, Picasso.

Oh, my work is usually compared to Diego Rivera,

but thank you, Boris.

Would you mind taking a picture for mi pap�?

Another one?

I took less pictures when my son was born.

(PHONE CHIMES)

Thank you.

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(MUTTERS)

Assistant again, huh?

What did he want this time?

Well, it's gonna sound silly.

Please, tell us.

He wanted to know when we nap.

(LAUGHTER)

Didn't I tell you this guy was hilarious?

And that... and that is funny because

we will definitely not be napping, right?

(LAUGHTER)

"I dreamt we went to Paris and made love

"on the banks of the Seine.

"Maybe someday.

Love, Alex."

(LAUGHS)

Lizzie, stop enjoying those.

This isn't 50 Shades of Reseda.

What would poor Dad think if he read these?

"Poor Dad" is a con artist who's always in and out of

- (WHISPERS): prison. - Oh, you don't have to whisper.

Most of these people have been in prison.

I'm just saying Mom was lonely when Dad was away.

So what?

You don't cheat.

If you want to cheat, you get a divorce.

All three of my wives cheated on me,

but I never divorced them.

They divorced me.

See? Keith gets it.

I get what Mom saw in this guy.

I mean, he's charming and cultured.

Just like me.

Oh, my God.

Look at these dates. I mean, the timing works out.

What if this guy is actually my father?

What?

Come on! I mean, it would explain so much.

Like why you're the size of a giraffe and I'm normal height.

And the way Alex McBride writes is so...

Fussy and pretentious?

Yes!

Like me.

Aren't you even a little curious?

Even if Alex McBride is not my dad,

he could tell us stuff about Mom that we never knew.

This guy could've broken up our family.

I don't need to know about that.

But he made Mom happy.

I think we should use these letters to track him down.

Look, it's been 20 years. We are never gonna find him.

KEITH: Found him!

There's one Alex McBride living in this area.

What?

I do a little private eye work on the side.

No, you don't.

Fine. I do a little light stalking on the side.

Either way, here's the address.

Wow. This is actually happening.

Jackie, please come with me.

No. You're on your own.

Then I'm off.

Off to find the man who knows intimate details

about our mother, who might also be my father, by myself.

(SIGHS)

Lizzie, wait.

Can you pick up some toilet paper on your way home?

(SIGHS)

Tired?

Oh, yes. A little.

I worked all week as a ride-share driver.

It's not a big deal, but I have two jobs.

You're right, it's not a big deal.

Most of us have five or six jobs, bro.

So you don't get a day off?

What's a day off?

Gabriel always works, even in his sleep.

He does sleep studies.

Whatever it takes to support my family.

MARCOS: And I send all my money

to Columbia for my daughter.

- Bogot�? - ?No.

Columbia University.

She's a philosophy major.

So I'll be working till the day I die.

But I would do anything for my daughter.

That's how my father was for me.

And I'm sure you appreciated it.

Well, maybe not as much as I should have.

And it makes me feel that sending all of those photos

to him is... well, a little silly.

That's lunch.

Oh. Oh, I didn't bring lunch.

Is there a Jersey Mike's nearby? I have a punch card.

No worries, man. We'll share.

Yeah, we can't let Picasso go hungry.

(SPEAKS SPANISH)

You're all so generous.

I have really learned a lot from you.

We've learned from you, too.

Oh, really? What?

That Boris will pretty much hire anybody.

(LAUGHTER)

Whiskey.

Tough day?

Javier is mad at me.

I was only trying to do

what I thought was best for him.

To prevent him from making mistakes

so he wouldn't get hurt.

I don't remember a time

when I didn't look out for Javier.

Ever since we were children, we've been close.

What, you were his little boy butler,

helping him with juice boxes?

No, I was not his boy butler.

But I did help him with his juice boxes.

Javier and I have different parents, but we are brothers.

And brothers help one another,

no matter what.

(SIGHS) Damn it.

Pete, cover me.

Where are you going?

I am going to help my sister find out

if the man that had an affair with our mother

is actually our father.

Wait.

Pick up toilet paper on the way home.

(QUIETLY): You can do this.

JACKIE: Are you sure?

What are you doing here?

Hey, I'm your sister.

Even if it turns out you're just a little tiny love child.

I just didn't think I'd be this nervous.

Uh, what if he...

(SHOUTS) What are you doing?

I'm just ripping off the Band-Aid. Look alive.

Hello, ladies.

Sorry it took me a moment to get to the foyer.

Foyer.

Oh, my God, this is real.

Hello, sir.

Um, my name is Elizabeth,

and I'm, uh, I'm...

Are you Alex McBride?

No, I'm not. Alex is my wife.

Honey!

These young ladies are looking for you.

I'm sorry. We're at the wrong place.

Oh... Jackie? Lizzie?

You look so much like your mother.

Well, you can relax.

Pretty sure that this lady is not your dad.

(BOTH SLURPING)

Are you girls ready to talk yet?

Sorry, we're just processing.

We didn't know that our mom was into women.

Though she did watch a lot of ladies' tennis.

I don't know if she was into women

as much as she was into me.

So, uh, when did you...

uh, why did you, uh... what...

We found each other when we needed each other.

Your father was in prison, and...

my husband, well,

he's deeper in the closet than my ski jacket.

Well, from the letters,

it sounds like you two really cared for each other.

We were very much in love.

But she loved you girls more.

She didn't want to break up your family.

Um,

would you like to see some of the letters she wrote me?

We would love to see them.

Lizzie,

I came to visit your mom when she was in the hospital,

and she was so afraid

you were gonna be lonely when she passed

because you're so different than Jackie and your father.

She'd be so happy you girls stuck together.

I'm gonna get those letters.

Well, I never thought

we were that different when we were little.

I thought you got weird, like, way later.

Mom and I used to sneak out

for little fancy adventures.

We'd put on dresses, get manicures,

go to a diner and have tea like Eloise.

I had no idea.

Because we hid it.

Otherwise you and Dad would have made fun of us.

What?

Yeah, that's definitely true.

And then, once she passed,

I had to fit in with you guys.

Get tougher, stop brushing my hair.

Burp on cue.

I'm sorry if you were lonely. I should have known.

We were kids.

Besides, I'm not lonely now.

(BELCHES)

(BELCHES)

I see you both take after your father as well.

(DOOR OPENS)

Uh...

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(SQUEAKS)

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Ooh, you like the cashmere.

Are you coming over to the dark side of comfort and luxury?

I never knew anything could feel this soft.

It should be soft. It cost $3,000.

But go ahead, drop a pickle on it, you savage.

Ha. You know I will.

(LAUGHS)

Oh, good, you're finally home.

Mi coraz�n, you will nt believe the day I have had.

I have been dying to tell you about my day as well.

Not only did I paint an entire house, but I met some great guys

who put things in perspective.

And how many naps did I take, you ask?

Zero.

Jackie and I found out that our mom was having a secret affair.

For three hours, I thought he was actually my father,

but then he turned out to be a she.

Okay, you win.

And how are you feeling about all this, mi amor?

(SIGHS) Well, it was a lot to take in.

But we got to know our mom as a person, not just as a mom.

JACKIE: And it kind of felt

like she was with us all day.

ELIZABETH: And now whenever we want to think about her,

we can just open up one of her letters.

Or you can see her all the time,

over the mantle.

What was your mother's favorite bird?

- Not happening. - No, honey.

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