All language subtitles for Archer - 3x02 - El Contador.HDTV.FQM.en
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,974 --> 00:00:04,383
C'mon Cyril,
beat it, get outta here.
2
00:00:04,385 --> 00:00:07,067
This meeting's
for field agents only.
3
00:00:07,069 --> 00:00:09,031
Which brings me to item one.
4
00:00:09,033 --> 00:00:13,421
We don't have enough field agents to
effectively run our covert operations.
5
00:00:13,423 --> 00:00:16,612
Especially since this one went
and got himself paralyzed.
6
00:00:16,614 --> 00:00:18,642
Yeah that's me, Mr. Selfish.
7
00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:19,742
More like Ms.
8
00:00:19,744 --> 00:00:23,809
Anyway, effective immediately, I'm
promoting Cyril to field agent.
9
00:00:23,811 --> 00:00:24,340
What?!
10
00:00:24,342 --> 00:00:24,908
Do what?!
11
00:00:24,910 --> 00:00:26,539
Hey, that sounds
great, best of luck.
12
00:00:26,541 --> 00:00:28,236
Where do you
think you're going?
13
00:00:28,238 --> 00:00:30,702
Oh, sorry, I gotta get back
to Earth before the Stargate closes.
14
00:00:30,704 --> 00:00:31,700
Get back in here!
15
00:00:31,702 --> 00:00:33,932
Mother the
chevrons are locking!
16
00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:38,565
And Cyril is utterly, laughably
unqualified to be a field agent!
17
00:00:38,567 --> 00:00:39,464
Some offense.
18
00:00:39,466 --> 00:00:40,397
Some taken.
19
00:00:40,399 --> 00:00:42,962
Well, none of you were
qualified when you first started.
20
00:00:42,964 --> 00:00:46,661
- And you've already given Cyril some training...
- Which ended with a dead
21
00:00:46,663 --> 00:00:47,894
hooker in my trunk!
22
00:00:47,896 --> 00:00:48,793
No it didn't!
23
00:00:48,795 --> 00:00:49,926
It easily could have!
24
00:00:49,928 --> 00:00:53,291
Malory, you can't just --
End! Of discussion.
25
00:00:53,293 --> 00:00:56,657
And since this meeting is
for field agents only...
26
00:00:56,659 --> 00:00:58,856
You're taking
me out of the field?!
27
00:00:58,858 --> 00:01:01,989
Well, unless we need someone
to go undercover as a shopping cart.
28
00:01:05,425 --> 00:01:09,824
This is Roma¡n Calzado, the
notorious Colombian drug lord.
29
00:01:09,826 --> 00:01:13,358
And hopefully an infusion
of much-needed capital.
30
00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:15,159
Since when are we bounty hunters?
31
00:01:15,161 --> 00:01:17,994
Since the DEA's budget
was gutted by all those federal
32
00:01:17,996 --> 00:01:19,194
spending cutbacks.
33
00:01:19,196 --> 00:01:21,795
Which is ridiculous,
given the current economy.
34
00:01:21,797 --> 00:01:24,529
The most efficient way to
decrease the budget deficit is
35
00:01:24,531 --> 00:01:28,897
- to increase tax revenue, through, um...
- Cyril don't make me
36
00:01:28,899 --> 00:01:30,363
regret this decision.
37
00:01:30,365 --> 00:01:30,963
Sorry.
38
00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:33,064
And if you were in my
tax bracket you wouldn't be
39
00:01:33,066 --> 00:01:35,097
spouting that socialist propaganda.
40
00:01:35,099 --> 00:01:36,798
Or wearing such shitty clothes.
41
00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:38,565
Or doing such shitty missions!
44
00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:45,169
Exactly, and how many drug users
could be treated with that money?
45
00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:46,169
Who cares?!
46
00:01:46,171 --> 00:01:47,103
Seriously?!
47
00:01:47,105 --> 00:01:50,004
Lana, they'd just go buy a
million dollars worth of crack with it.
48
00:01:50,006 --> 00:01:52,173
You don't give them the money.
49
00:01:52,175 --> 00:01:53,640
You can't, they'll
blow it on crack.
50
00:01:53,642 --> 00:01:56,741
- Oh my God.
- No they won't, because it'll in the ISIS bank
51
00:01:56,743 --> 00:01:57,275
account.
52
00:01:57,277 --> 00:02:00,543
Because you're going to get
Calzado, dead or alive.
53
00:02:00,545 --> 00:02:04,380
And Cyril, dress appropriately, you'll
be helicoptering into the jungle.
54
00:02:04,382 --> 00:02:08,849
- Coool...
- Oh, and this whole thing reminds me...
55
00:02:08,851 --> 00:02:14,319
Pam? Nine AM Friday morning, all ISIS
employees will take a drug test.
56
00:02:14,321 --> 00:02:17,756
Nkay.
57
00:02:17,758 --> 00:02:22,392
And knock off
that damn beatboxing!
58
00:02:22,394 --> 00:02:23,459
Ugh.
59
00:02:23,461 --> 00:02:26,089
Last week it was freestyling.
60
00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:37,322
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
61
00:03:00,661 --> 00:03:02,228
Yes, this LZ!
62
00:03:02,230 --> 00:03:03,262
You dumbass!
63
00:03:03,264 --> 00:03:05,131
Where we are right now!
64
00:03:05,133 --> 00:03:06,966
In twenty four hours!
65
00:03:06,968 --> 00:03:10,971
And you better be here!
66
00:03:10,973 --> 00:03:11,471
What a dick.
67
00:03:11,473 --> 00:03:14,342
Well he's probably
just under a lot of stress.
68
00:03:14,344 --> 00:03:18,246
Since he's our only way out
of th stupid jungle! Dumbass!
69
00:03:18,248 --> 00:03:21,048
- Seriously...
- Thanks, ghost of Teddy Roosevelt.
70
00:03:21,050 --> 00:03:23,250
Ms. Archer said dress for the tropics!
71
00:03:23,252 --> 00:03:25,619
Tropics or Busch Gardens?
72
00:03:25,621 --> 00:03:26,720
Hey, ya know what?!
73
00:03:26,722 --> 00:03:27,488
Yes.
74
00:03:27,490 --> 00:03:28,455
Heckle?
75
00:03:28,457 --> 00:03:28,856
Jeckle?
76
00:03:28,858 --> 00:03:30,957
Between us and Calzado's fortified
compound there's about
77
00:03:30,959 --> 00:03:34,761
ten clicks of jungle that I just assume
is one giant booby-trap showroom.
78
00:03:34,763 --> 00:03:38,831
So shut your dickholes, get your gear,
shut up again, and start walking.
79
00:03:38,833 --> 00:03:42,368
Any questions?
80
00:03:42,370 --> 00:03:43,970
Cyril.
81
00:03:43,972 --> 00:03:45,605
What's a click.
82
00:03:45,607 --> 00:03:47,473
Yeah you say that all
the time and I never know what
83
00:03:47,475 --> 00:03:48,441
you're talking about.
84
00:03:48,443 --> 00:03:50,676
I'm assuming it's a sound of some sort?
85
00:03:50,678 --> 00:03:51,877
Nuh-uhh!
86
00:03:51,879 --> 00:03:54,580
Swear to God, first thing Friday
morning we all gotta pee in a cup -
87
00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:58,551
Which I can't even do...y'all...
Cleaning out my freezer
88
00:03:58,553 --> 00:04:00,819
last week, found a big bag of skank.
89
00:04:00,821 --> 00:04:03,956
I guess I brought it back from Jamaica, but --
But it's
90
00:04:03,958 --> 00:04:05,258
just a pot test, right?!
91
00:04:05,260 --> 00:04:06,326
No, stupid.
92
00:04:06,328 --> 00:04:07,427
All drugs.
93
00:04:07,429 --> 00:04:09,295
Oh shit.
94
00:04:09,297 --> 00:04:10,430
I call 'em grooving bears.
95
00:04:10,432 --> 00:04:11,798
How bout you, Ironsides?
96
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:12,899
You rollin dirty?
97
00:04:12,901 --> 00:04:18,204
Umm... Possibly.
98
00:04:18,206 --> 00:04:19,806
Well then we're all screwed.
99
00:04:19,808 --> 00:04:21,775
Talking about
the drug test, huh?
100
00:04:21,777 --> 00:04:22,342
Duh.
101
00:04:22,344 --> 00:04:26,046
Well -- What if I told
you I had a way to beat any drug
102
00:04:26,048 --> 00:04:27,915
test in the world.
103
00:04:27,917 --> 00:04:30,284
Are you telling us that?
104
00:04:30,286 --> 00:04:30,985
Yes.
105
00:04:30,987 --> 00:04:31,819
Well?
106
00:04:31,821 --> 00:04:32,386
What is it?!
107
00:04:32,388 --> 00:04:33,954
I call it... Krieger-Kleanse.
108
00:04:33,956 --> 00:04:36,923
It's an herbal tea, all-natural,
and it's guaranteed to rid your
109
00:04:36,925 --> 00:04:40,093
body of all traces of
any illicit substance.
110
00:04:40,095 --> 00:04:42,162
Well here, gimme gimme give it!
111
00:04:42,164 --> 00:04:42,762
Ah ah ahh!
112
00:04:42,764 --> 00:04:47,401
I literal - figuratively scoured the
globe for these special herbs,
113
00:04:47,403 --> 00:04:49,537
at no small expense to myself.
114
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,339
Ugh. How much.
115
00:04:51,341 --> 00:04:52,373
Hundred bucks each.
116
00:04:54,010 --> 00:04:56,378
Or you can save your
money, and try your luck in the
117
00:04:56,380 --> 00:05:00,281
current job market.
118
00:05:00,283 --> 00:05:02,183
Non-sequential bills, please.
119
00:05:02,185 --> 00:05:04,318
Well then why
not just say kilometer?
120
00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:05,686
Because shut up.
121
00:05:05,688 --> 00:05:07,788
- Jungle ziiing...
- So it says here that
122
00:05:07,790 --> 00:05:10,657
- Calzado isn't even the head of the
whole operation... - Cyril.
123
00:05:10,659 --> 00:05:13,960
He's actually just a distributor
for somebody named La Sombra.
124
00:05:13,962 --> 00:05:15,962
The Shade?
125
00:05:15,964 --> 00:05:16,963
Cyril.
126
00:05:16,965 --> 00:05:19,165
No, I bet in this
context, The Shadow.
127
00:05:19,167 --> 00:05:20,266
Cyril.
128
00:05:20,268 --> 00:05:20,800
Oof.
129
00:05:20,802 --> 00:05:21,734
Hey, what's your problem?
130
00:05:21,736 --> 00:05:23,970
My problem is I don't
want a thousand of steel balls
131
00:05:23,972 --> 00:05:25,138
to shred my genitals.
132
00:05:25,140 --> 00:05:25,739
Huh?
133
00:05:25,741 --> 00:05:26,473
Claymore mine.
134
00:05:26,475 --> 00:05:30,110
Full of steel balls that fly a
thousand meters - or one click -
135
00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:32,046
a second, right at dick level.
136
00:05:32,048 --> 00:05:35,550
- Jeezy petes...
- Or ass level, which in your case would also
137
00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:36,585
take off your head.
138
00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:38,954
So quit reading and pay attention.
139
00:05:38,956 --> 00:05:41,957
But there's a lot of useful
stuff in here, organizational charts,
140
00:05:41,959 --> 00:05:45,326
inventory and cash-flow analyses...
spreadsheets?
141
00:05:45,328 --> 00:05:48,029
Of what, possible
outcomes with a twenty-sided die?
142
00:05:48,031 --> 00:05:49,997
Well you don't need
a spreadsheet for that...
143
00:05:49,999 --> 00:05:51,999
Yeah and you don't need
one to know you're gonna suck at
144
00:05:52,001 --> 00:05:53,300
being a field agent Cyril.
145
00:05:53,302 --> 00:05:54,868
So why do you wanna be one?
146
00:05:54,870 --> 00:05:59,306
I dunno, I just wanna feel
like I'm a part of the team, ya know?
147
00:05:59,308 --> 00:06:01,942
I guess I wanna...
feel like I matter more.
148
00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:05,378
Wow, not afraid to dump out
your purse in the jungle, huh?
149
00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:07,280
Okay Cyril, then lesson One-A.
150
00:06:07,282 --> 00:06:11,318
In a potentially hostile environment,
like this, the key is total situational
151
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:12,485
awareness.
152
00:06:12,487 --> 00:06:14,921
- Okay...
- You look, you listen, you smell.
153
00:06:14,923 --> 00:06:16,656
And you remember to check your six.
154
00:06:16,658 --> 00:06:17,723
My six what.
155
00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:18,858
Is that my gun?
156
00:06:18,860 --> 00:06:19,859
The old six shooter.
157
00:06:19,861 --> 00:06:22,762
Oh my God, a clock
Cyril, It means behind you.
158
00:06:22,764 --> 00:06:25,899
Because the last thing you want
is -- Uh Lana, hold up a sec?
159
00:06:25,901 --> 00:06:29,502
Archer we don't have a -- Cyril?
160
00:06:29,504 --> 00:06:31,104
Yeah, that's
why I said hold up.
161
00:06:31,106 --> 00:06:31,604
Archer!
162
00:06:31,606 --> 00:06:34,540
Don't yell at me, I looked away
for literally literally one second!
163
00:06:34,542 --> 00:06:35,941
Well where the hell did he go?!
164
00:06:35,943 --> 00:06:43,182
- I dunno, it's like... he just...
- You're looking for
165
00:06:43,184 --> 00:06:45,686
Predator, aren't you?
166
00:06:45,688 --> 00:06:46,853
Yes.
167
00:06:46,855 --> 00:06:47,654
Couple things.
168
00:06:47,656 --> 00:06:51,191
A, he's invisible --
Not totally, he has a telltale shimmer.
169
00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:51,725
Ow!
170
00:06:51,727 --> 00:06:53,894
And B, lower your frickin voice.
171
00:06:53,896 --> 00:06:54,628
Á¡Oye!!
172
00:06:54,630 --> 00:06:56,063
Manos arriba!
173
00:06:56,065 --> 00:06:56,864
Is that Cyril?
174
00:06:56,866 --> 00:06:57,765
¿Quien es?!
175
00:06:57,767 --> 00:07:00,268
No, it's not whimpery enough.
176
00:07:00,270 --> 00:07:03,071
Cyril! Cyril!
177
00:07:03,073 --> 00:07:03,938
God damn it.
178
00:07:03,940 --> 00:07:06,274
Well, look on the bright side.
179
00:07:06,276 --> 00:07:08,009
Which is?
180
00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:08,643
Which is what?
181
00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:10,111
What's the bright side?!
182
00:07:10,113 --> 00:07:10,878
Oh.
183
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,614
That's a figure of speech.
184
00:07:15,906 --> 00:07:19,843
All I'm saying is there are a
million green rectangularly reasons to
185
00:07:19,845 --> 00:07:22,146
complete the mission, and
zero reasons not to.
186
00:07:22,148 --> 00:07:23,847
You mean besides
Cyril getting captured.
187
00:07:23,849 --> 00:07:24,948
Yeah! Besides that.
188
00:07:24,950 --> 00:07:28,552
And if Calzado's men got Cyril, we'll
rescue him when we get Calzado.
189
00:07:28,554 --> 00:07:31,488
- Problemo solvedo.
- What if it was F.A.R.K.
190
00:07:31,490 --> 00:07:32,222
or V.E.L.N.
191
00:07:32,224 --> 00:07:35,391
Then we'll use some of the
million dollar reward to pay his ransom.
192
00:07:35,393 --> 00:07:39,462
So shut up, Cyril's going to be fine.
193
00:07:39,464 --> 00:07:40,363
Unless a tiger ate him.
194
00:07:40,365 --> 00:07:42,532
Tigers don't
live in South America.
195
00:07:42,534 --> 00:07:45,868
Well at least one does because
I just heard its spine-tingling roar.
196
00:07:45,870 --> 00:07:47,370
That was a jaguar, dumbass.
197
00:07:47,372 --> 00:07:49,271
Thanks, Marlon Perkins.
198
00:07:49,273 --> 00:07:54,209
I think I know a tiger when I hear one.
199
00:07:54,211 --> 00:07:58,380
Every time, your big fat
mouth get's us caught, every time.
200
00:07:58,382 --> 00:08:02,550
Not every time,
like a third of the time.
201
00:08:02,552 --> 00:08:06,787
And a thousand bucks
that's a tiger Lana.
202
00:08:06,789 --> 00:08:09,022
If this doesn't
work we just paid a hundred
203
00:08:09,024 --> 00:08:10,390
bucks for liquid fart.
204
00:08:10,392 --> 00:08:14,962
Yeah, well here's
shit in your eye.
205
00:08:14,964 --> 00:08:17,565
Oh god, it tastes
worse than it smells.
206
00:08:17,567 --> 00:08:22,104
Man, if I had a nickel for every
time I heard a guy said that,
207
00:08:22,106 --> 00:08:24,006
I'd have eight nickels.
208
00:08:24,008 --> 00:08:26,709
Archer, I swear to
God if you don't shut up.
209
00:08:26,711 --> 00:08:30,313
I'm just saying if it comes
down to that, and I hope it doesn't,
210
00:08:30,315 --> 00:08:33,316
there's no sense in us
both getting raped.
211
00:08:33,318 --> 00:08:38,154
Fernando, our special guests
must not be injured in any way.
212
00:08:38,156 --> 00:08:40,223
Uh, does that include
rape related injuries?
213
00:08:40,225 --> 00:08:40,924
Of course.
214
00:08:40,926 --> 00:08:42,525
No one is going to rape you.
215
00:08:42,527 --> 00:08:43,726
What is wrong with you?
216
00:08:43,728 --> 00:08:44,394
We're scared.
217
00:08:44,396 --> 00:08:46,495
We're just tourists, see,
and our car broke down.
218
00:08:46,497 --> 00:08:51,133
So the assault weapons and plastic
explosives, why do you have these?
219
00:08:51,135 --> 00:08:52,735
yes, let me explain.
220
00:08:52,737 --> 00:08:54,804
Busted, we're arms dealers.
221
00:08:54,806 --> 00:08:57,841
No, I think not.
222
00:08:57,843 --> 00:09:00,110
I Think you are hunting Roma¡n Calzado.
223
00:09:00,112 --> 00:09:02,179
In the hopes of a
million dollar reward.
224
00:09:02,181 --> 00:09:04,248
O.K. yes, busted again.
225
00:09:04,250 --> 00:09:07,052
But I think now we're
kinda rethinking that.
226
00:09:07,054 --> 00:09:09,955
So, if I give you two
million, will you go away
227
00:09:09,957 --> 00:09:11,156
and say you never found me?
228
00:09:11,158 --> 00:09:13,425
I -- Oh my God, totally yes.
229
00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:15,694
Then we give mother a
million and you and I can
230
00:09:15,696 --> 00:09:17,262
split the other million.
231
00:09:17,264 --> 00:09:19,531
Calzado, you've got yourself a deal.
232
00:09:19,533 --> 00:09:20,398
Excellent.
233
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,367
But of course I was joking.
234
00:09:22,369 --> 00:09:24,469
Obviously I can not allow you to live.
235
00:09:24,471 --> 00:09:25,537
No, yes you can.
236
00:09:25,539 --> 00:09:29,640
Or choose not to, whatever,
besides, throwing money away like that
237
00:09:29,642 --> 00:09:31,042
would not please el contador.
238
00:09:31,044 --> 00:09:32,776
El contador, doesn't that mean.
239
00:09:32,778 --> 00:09:35,279
The accountant, si.
240
00:09:35,281 --> 00:09:36,648
Cyril?!
241
00:09:36,650 --> 00:09:38,450
Que?
242
00:09:38,452 --> 00:09:40,452
No he said cereal.
243
00:09:40,454 --> 00:09:41,220
Que?
244
00:09:41,222 --> 00:09:43,222
Cerealas.
245
00:09:43,224 --> 00:09:45,525
El quiere desayuno.
246
00:09:45,527 --> 00:09:53,134
And people in
hell want ice water.
247
00:09:53,136 --> 00:09:54,335
Oye.
248
00:09:54,337 --> 00:09:59,373
Pardon.
249
00:09:59,375 --> 00:10:00,307
Oh my God!
250
00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:04,579
I'm gonna die in a toilet stall
just like the gypsy said.
251
00:10:04,581 --> 00:10:06,215
Damn that Krieger.
252
00:10:06,217 --> 00:10:08,083
Nazi-clone-bastard.
253
00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:10,553
Well, we don't
know it was the tea.
254
00:10:10,555 --> 00:10:11,153
Aagh!
255
00:10:11,155 --> 00:10:12,187
Who the hell are you?!
256
00:10:12,189 --> 00:10:14,990
I'm your friend,
Pam, I'm -- Pam?!
257
00:10:14,992 --> 00:10:18,927
- You're not my friend, you're a Decepticon.
- Waaaagh!
258
00:10:18,929 --> 00:10:20,963
How are you both still alive?!
259
00:10:20,965 --> 00:10:23,031
The floor is lava!
260
00:10:23,033 --> 00:10:26,368
The floor is lava!
261
00:10:26,370 --> 00:10:27,969
Clinical trial thirteen.
262
00:10:27,971 --> 00:10:31,105
Subjects' responses are
exceeding expectations.
263
00:10:31,107 --> 00:10:32,707
Pam you're melting!
264
00:10:32,709 --> 00:10:33,541
You're melting!
265
00:10:33,543 --> 00:10:36,877
Because the
floor is lah-vuh-huhhhh!
266
00:10:36,879 --> 00:10:40,780
Must! Kill! Decepticon!
267
00:10:42,484 --> 00:10:44,317
call Terry.
268
00:10:44,319 --> 00:10:45,351
RROWWR!
269
00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:48,387
The tiger says... RROWWR!
270
00:10:48,389 --> 00:10:52,190
The tiger also says you
owe me a thousand dollars, so -
271
00:10:52,192 --> 00:10:52,858
No! I don't!
272
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:54,293
Because I didn't bet!
273
00:10:54,295 --> 00:10:56,962
- The welsher says...
- Psssst!
274
00:10:56,964 --> 00:10:58,264
No, that's a snake.
275
00:10:58,266 --> 00:11:00,266
Oh boy, am I
glad to see you guys!
276
00:11:00,268 --> 00:11:01,701
Cyril, what the
hell's going on?!
277
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,570
Are you a drug
dealer now, or...?
278
00:11:03,572 --> 00:11:04,805
What? No!
279
00:11:04,807 --> 00:11:06,607
And you guys aren't gonna
believe what happened!
280
00:11:06,609 --> 00:11:11,178
I had, um, gastric distress, or whatever,
so I was just gonna duck off the
281
00:11:11,180 --> 00:11:13,381
- trail...
- And you remember to check your six.
282
00:11:13,383 --> 00:11:14,215
My six what?
283
00:11:14,217 --> 00:11:23,189
- Before I knew what was happening...
- Oh man, right in my new pants!
284
00:11:23,191 --> 00:11:24,057
Á¡Oye!
285
00:11:24,059 --> 00:11:26,226
- Hellooo...
- ! Manos arriba!¿!
286
00:11:26,228 --> 00:11:27,260
Quien es?!
287
00:11:27,262 --> 00:11:31,497
And I only had a second to answer,
so I thought, what would Lana do?
288
00:11:31,499 --> 00:11:33,132
Not Archer?
289
00:11:33,134 --> 00:11:34,967
No, I had to outsmart them.
290
00:11:34,969 --> 00:11:38,671
He said, suddenly too big
for his shit-caked britches.
291
00:11:38,673 --> 00:11:39,238
Archer.
292
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,773
And then it came to me!
293
00:11:40,775 --> 00:11:43,075
Uh... quien soy?
294
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:45,077
Soy el contador!
295
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:46,745
Enviado de La Sombra!
296
00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:48,647
Donde esta¡ Calzado?!
297
00:11:48,649 --> 00:11:49,714
What's a La Sombra?
298
00:11:49,716 --> 00:11:52,451
Calzado's boss, don't
you remember the dossier?
299
00:11:52,453 --> 00:11:53,285
No.
300
00:11:53,287 --> 00:11:53,853
Yes.
301
00:11:53,855 --> 00:11:57,857
But, what about the gunshot?
302
00:11:57,859 --> 00:12:00,394
Then they brought me here, and
I bluffed my way through the rest...
303
00:12:00,396 --> 00:12:02,629
La Sombra did
not say you were coming.
304
00:12:02,631 --> 00:12:05,833
Well, I assume he did not want to
give you the time to cook your books.
305
00:12:05,835 --> 00:12:08,303
I -- that -- I
swear I don't do that!
306
00:12:08,305 --> 00:12:09,771
Well, then you are a fool.
307
00:12:09,773 --> 00:12:10,505
¿Que?
308
00:12:10,507 --> 00:12:13,174
You pay La Sombra sixty-four
cents on every dollar you make, no?
309
00:12:13,176 --> 00:12:17,312
- Mmmmas o menos, pero...
- I can get that down to thirty cents,
310
00:12:17,314 --> 00:12:19,214
and he will never even know.
311
00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:20,849
Si?! Pero como?!
312
00:12:20,851 --> 00:12:22,884
You just leave
that to me, amigo.
313
00:12:22,886 --> 00:12:27,322
Wait, what's in this for you?
314
00:12:27,324 --> 00:12:29,924
We split the
difference, of course!
315
00:12:29,926 --> 00:12:31,560
But first I need some clean clothes.
316
00:12:31,562 --> 00:12:35,130
This is not mud all over my pants.
317
00:12:35,132 --> 00:12:35,897
It's caca.
318
00:12:35,899 --> 00:12:37,199
Holy shit, Cyril!
319
00:12:37,201 --> 00:12:38,634
Literally.
320
00:12:38,636 --> 00:12:41,403
Yeah, really kinda wish I'd
skipped the diarrhea part...
321
00:12:41,405 --> 00:12:43,038
Forget that, you did great!
322
00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:43,639
Really?
323
00:12:43,641 --> 00:12:47,242
It figuratively kills me to
say this Cyril, but yeah, you did.
324
00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:48,978
So now what, what's the plan?
325
00:12:48,980 --> 00:12:51,613
Oh. Well, I was hoping you
guys could come up with something.
326
00:12:51,615 --> 00:12:54,416
And ideally before tomorrow at dawn.
327
00:12:54,418 --> 00:12:56,852
Why, what's --
What is going on here?!
328
00:12:56,854 --> 00:12:57,620
Ah, amigo!
329
00:12:57,622 --> 00:13:02,325
I was just mocking this giant
negress and her sissy sidekick.
330
00:13:02,327 --> 00:13:04,961
Yes, they are ridiculous, no?
331
00:13:04,963 --> 00:13:07,096
Are the accommodations to your liking?
332
00:13:07,098 --> 00:13:07,830
Honestly?
333
00:13:07,832 --> 00:13:08,197
No.
334
00:13:08,199 --> 00:13:10,366
You shouldn't even keep
animals in these conditions.
335
00:13:10,368 --> 00:13:11,000
Look at them.
336
00:13:11,002 --> 00:13:15,838
Cement floors, steel bars, no room to
run around, nothing to play with...
337
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,775
Ah, I think perhaps you
are confusing this with a zoo.
338
00:13:18,777 --> 00:13:21,745
I think, maybe, it's
all these exotic animals.
339
00:13:21,747 --> 00:13:24,248
Yes, exotic
animals for me to hunt.
340
00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:25,215
You hunt them?!
341
00:13:25,217 --> 00:13:26,417
How can you do that?!
342
00:13:26,419 --> 00:13:29,153
Like this.
343
00:13:29,155 --> 00:13:30,421
God damn dude.
344
00:13:30,423 --> 00:13:31,188
But you see?
345
00:13:31,190 --> 00:13:34,358
Even the majestic Bengal
tiger is too easy to kill!
346
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:34,992
It's boring!
347
00:13:34,994 --> 00:13:37,828
Which is why tomorrow at dawn,
I will be hunting the most
348
00:13:37,830 --> 00:13:40,097
dangerous game in the world!
349
00:13:40,099 --> 00:13:41,364
Jai alai?
350
00:13:41,366 --> 00:13:42,065
Us!
351
00:13:42,067 --> 00:13:42,798
What?!
352
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:43,299
Si.
353
00:13:43,301 --> 00:13:44,066
So sleep well, amigos!
354
00:13:44,068 --> 00:13:46,101
I want you rested and
strong for tomorrow!
355
00:13:46,103 --> 00:13:48,703
Venga, Senor Contador, cenamos juntos!
356
00:13:48,705 --> 00:13:51,539
So yeah, try to think of a plan!
357
00:13:51,541 --> 00:13:54,209
Well, go ahead and say it.
358
00:13:54,211 --> 00:13:54,742
Say what.
359
00:13:54,744 --> 00:13:57,345
How since we're gonna die in
the morning we should have sex now.
360
00:13:57,347 --> 00:13:59,982
After seeing a
tiger get murdered, Lana?
361
00:13:59,984 --> 00:14:04,886
No offense, but I'm not
really in the mood.
362
00:14:04,888 --> 00:14:07,155
If you want, I can watch
while you masturbate.
363
00:14:07,157 --> 00:14:09,991
But I can tell you right now
my he's not gonna be in it.
364
00:14:09,993 --> 00:14:12,827
It will be with that tiger's family.
365
00:14:12,829 --> 00:14:16,396
But, go ahead, start.
366
00:14:19,548 --> 00:14:23,518
And so begins the hunt
for the most dangerous game!
367
00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:26,354
- Hooray...
- So what are the les here, exactly?
368
00:14:26,356 --> 00:14:26,988
Lana be still.
369
00:14:26,990 --> 00:14:28,956
You get a
thirty-minute head start.
370
00:14:28,958 --> 00:14:33,161
Then El Contador and I, just us,
alone, will track you and kill you.
371
00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:34,595
Uh, uh... oh!
372
00:14:34,597 --> 00:14:35,497
Can they split up?
373
00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:36,865
Ehhh, sure, why not.
374
00:14:36,867 --> 00:14:39,234
Then I propose a friendly wager.
375
00:14:39,236 --> 00:14:42,538
We each hunt one of them, and the first
to kill his quarry is the winner.
376
00:14:42,540 --> 00:14:43,839
I like this idea.
377
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,375
But which --
I get the woman called it boom!
378
00:14:46,377 --> 00:14:51,914
I -- alright,
since you called it.
379
00:14:51,916 --> 00:14:56,653
¡Oye! Cochino...
Okay, let's hunt some humans!
380
00:14:56,655 --> 00:14:58,822
Go go go go gunngh!
381
00:14:58,824 --> 00:15:00,624
Are you really that selfish?!
382
00:15:00,626 --> 00:15:03,761
Apparently!
383
00:15:03,763 --> 00:15:05,796
Clinical trial
thirteen, update.
384
00:15:05,798 --> 00:15:08,765
As hypothesized, after
mind-shredding hallucinations,
385
00:15:08,767 --> 00:15:14,271
subjects B and C have lapsed into deep
unconsciousness... Subject A, however,
386
00:15:14,273 --> 00:15:17,207
remains at large.
387
00:15:17,209 --> 00:15:22,846
- Begin clinical trial fourteen...
- Lana? Lana.
388
00:15:22,848 --> 00:15:24,582
Where the heck is - shmmpf!
389
00:15:24,584 --> 00:15:25,817
Don't scream, it's me.
390
00:15:25,819 --> 00:15:29,420
- Oh thank God, I thought those were yeti hands...
- Never gets old.
391
00:15:29,422 --> 00:15:31,990
But good idea back there,
getting everybody to split up.
392
00:15:31,992 --> 00:15:35,828
Thanks, yeah, I figured you'd know
to head back to the, uh, LZ thingy --
393
00:15:35,830 --> 00:15:38,030
Which we've only got
about an hour to get to so --
394
00:15:38,032 --> 00:15:40,366
-- and I figured once I
found you we could work together
395
00:15:40,368 --> 00:15:43,302
to rescue Archer, capture
Calzado, and escape.
396
00:15:43,304 --> 00:15:45,738
Ya know, you don't
actually suck at this.
397
00:15:45,740 --> 00:15:46,505
Really?
398
00:15:46,507 --> 00:15:48,674
You're thinking tactically, making
quick decisions... and I gotta tell
399
00:15:48,676 --> 00:15:51,444
ya, confidence is pretty damn sexy.
400
00:15:51,446 --> 00:15:53,679
- Reeally...
- Theoretically.
401
00:15:53,681 --> 00:15:54,280
Sorry.
402
00:15:54,282 --> 00:15:57,650
Okay, you're doing pretty well
so far, so what's the plan, rookie?
403
00:15:57,652 --> 00:15:59,785
And sooner would be better than later.
404
00:15:59,787 --> 00:16:01,887
Yeah, Calzado's
on a darn threewheeler.
405
00:16:01,889 --> 00:16:02,888
Can you believe that guy?
406
00:16:02,890 --> 00:16:05,691
Who, the drug-lord who
hunts humans for sport?
407
00:16:05,693 --> 00:16:07,459
I know, but that's just lame.
408
00:16:07,461 --> 00:16:07,993
Cyril?
409
00:16:07,995 --> 00:16:11,196
Uh, uh, okay, so we have to assume
Archer's heading back to the LZ too,
410
00:16:11,198 --> 00:16:15,233
- but he can't possibly outrun Calzado...
- Yeah, neither can we, so...?
411
00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:16,968
We don't need to outrun him!
412
00:16:16,970 --> 00:16:17,969
Just Archer!
413
00:16:17,971 --> 00:16:18,469
What?
414
00:16:18,471 --> 00:16:20,471
Come on!
415
00:16:20,473 --> 00:16:22,206
Oww!
416
00:16:22,208 --> 00:16:24,708
Oh eat a dick, jungle!
417
00:16:24,710 --> 00:16:28,444
Cover it with malaria and leeches,
sprinkle some dengue fever on it,
418
00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:32,015
and eat a big goddamn jungly dick!
419
00:16:32,017 --> 00:16:37,220
Yeah, you do that, and I'll just wait
here for a bask of Orinoco crocodiles to
420
00:16:37,222 --> 00:16:39,756
wander by and eat me.
421
00:16:39,758 --> 00:16:44,361
Oh great, that's probably them now,
tearing around on specially-equipped
422
00:16:44,363 --> 00:16:45,809
croc-choppers.
423
00:16:45,929 --> 00:16:47,302
Wait, what the...?
424
00:17:00,748 --> 00:17:04,950
Goddess of the Jungle,
I take it all back!
425
00:17:04,952 --> 00:17:11,656
For when I was thirsty, you saw
fit to slake my thiiiiiirrrrst!
426
00:17:11,658 --> 00:17:15,659
Goddess of the Jungle, you are a whore.
427
00:17:15,661 --> 00:17:18,561
Oh thank God, I thought
you were crocodiles.
428
00:17:18,563 --> 00:17:19,562
Crocodiles?
429
00:17:19,564 --> 00:17:20,797
On a three-wheeler?
430
00:17:20,799 --> 00:17:21,364
Right?
431
00:17:21,366 --> 00:17:22,532
How scary would that be?
432
00:17:22,534 --> 00:17:25,368
Mmm, probably not as scary as
knowing that I am going to cut you down
433
00:17:25,370 --> 00:17:28,305
from there, and then
gut you like a fish.
434
00:17:28,307 --> 00:17:31,641
Well then you're obviously an
idiot when it comes to crocodiles,
435
00:17:31,643 --> 00:17:34,511
AKA the world's most
deadliest predators.
436
00:17:34,513 --> 00:17:36,947
I am the world's
deadliest predator!
437
00:17:36,949 --> 00:17:38,182
Or are you?
438
00:17:38,184 --> 00:17:38,849
ÿQue?
439
00:17:38,851 --> 00:17:39,383
Cyril?!
440
00:17:39,385 --> 00:17:40,251
No breakfast for you!
441
00:17:40,253 --> 00:17:42,387
No, that's my name, Calzado.
442
00:17:42,389 --> 00:17:44,323
Cyril Figgis... ISIS agent.
443
00:17:44,325 --> 00:17:45,991
Bastardo mentiroso!
444
00:17:45,993 --> 00:17:46,525
ISIS?!
445
00:17:46,527 --> 00:17:47,326
That's right.
446
00:17:47,328 --> 00:17:49,194
And you're under arrest.
447
00:17:49,196 --> 00:17:50,395
Albeit extra-judicially.
448
00:17:50,397 --> 00:17:52,163
Over my dead body!
449
00:17:52,165 --> 00:17:53,932
Well, that can be arranged.
450
00:17:53,934 --> 00:17:55,500
Lana?
451
00:17:55,502 --> 00:17:59,070
- Hellooo... Ay, caramba...
Wh-? Wait a minute,
452
00:17:59,072 --> 00:17:59,504
was I just bait?!
453
00:17:59,506 --> 00:18:00,438
That's right, Archer.
454
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,641
All part of my brilliant plan.
455
00:18:02,643 --> 00:18:05,277
Lana, get some vines and
tie him up, chop-chop.
456
00:18:05,279 --> 00:18:06,478
Chop-chop?
457
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:09,082
- Here we go...
- Uh yeah, it means hurry?
458
00:18:09,084 --> 00:18:12,485
C'mon, we got a chopper
to catch, tie him up!
459
00:18:12,487 --> 00:18:13,487
You do it.
460
00:18:13,489 --> 00:18:15,222
Okay, I see what
you're doing here.
461
00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:16,824
Hands behind your back, Calzado.
462
00:18:16,826 --> 00:18:17,858
Make me.
463
00:18:17,860 --> 00:18:20,261
I -- look, she will shoot you!
464
00:18:20,263 --> 00:18:21,162
No I won't.
465
00:18:21,164 --> 00:18:23,164
No she won't!
466
00:18:23,166 --> 00:18:25,500
C'mon Cyril, go all rogue on him!
467
00:18:25,502 --> 00:18:30,005
Guys c'mon, this
is ridicul -- ungh!
468
00:18:30,007 --> 00:18:33,074
I think I'm gonna be -- ungh!
469
00:18:33,076 --> 00:18:37,711
- Yeah, I'm gonna be sick...
- Here, maybe this'll help...
470
00:18:37,713 --> 00:18:41,648
Aaagh! My eyes!
471
00:18:41,650 --> 00:18:43,116
Probably shouldn't
have done that.
472
00:18:43,118 --> 00:18:47,753
Not enough left to get drunk on.
473
00:18:47,755 --> 00:18:49,322
Bastardo!
474
00:18:49,324 --> 00:18:52,525
I kill you!
475
00:18:52,527 --> 00:18:55,228
Lanaaaa!
476
00:18:55,230 --> 00:18:56,629
What the hell damn guy.
477
00:18:56,631 --> 00:18:59,232
- Oh thank you thank you thank you...
- You're welcome, Cyril.
478
00:18:59,234 --> 00:19:02,101
So, did you learn any
valuable lessons today?
479
00:19:02,103 --> 00:19:03,336
Yes, I did.
480
00:19:03,338 --> 00:19:05,271
Me too.
481
00:19:05,273 --> 00:19:07,907
I learned I don't like being bait.
482
00:19:07,909 --> 00:19:08,708
Owww!
483
00:19:08,710 --> 00:19:10,743
Sorry, Cyril, did that hurt?
484
00:19:10,745 --> 00:19:14,647
Cyril. Cyril.
485
00:19:14,649 --> 00:19:15,414
Cyriiillll!
486
00:19:15,416 --> 00:19:16,682
Yes it frickin hurt!
487
00:19:16,684 --> 00:19:18,050
Yeah, right?
488
00:19:18,052 --> 00:19:18,884
What?!
489
00:19:18,886 --> 00:19:20,952
Yes, obviously I heard what you said!
490
00:19:20,954 --> 00:19:25,823
I just can't believe the head of
the DEA has the balls to say it!
491
00:19:25,825 --> 00:19:27,859
Oh, is that a fact!
492
00:19:27,861 --> 00:19:29,427
Oh it is.
493
00:19:29,429 --> 00:19:32,630
M-hm. Yep.
494
00:19:32,632 --> 00:19:35,900
So, uh... How'd that go?
495
00:19:35,902 --> 00:19:36,568
Oh, fine.
496
00:19:36,570 --> 00:19:39,404
He was just explaining to me why
ISIS won't be receiving any
497
00:19:39,406 --> 00:19:41,673
reward for capturing Calzado.
498
00:19:43,210 --> 00:19:46,612
Because apparently there's
no proof that we did.
499
00:19:46,614 --> 00:19:48,947
We literally
handed Calzado to them!
500
00:19:48,949 --> 00:19:52,884
And in return, did they hand
you a signed receipt for the prisoner?
501
00:19:52,886 --> 00:19:55,119
No, they -- oh.
502
00:19:55,121 --> 00:19:55,886
Oh, shit.
503
00:19:55,888 --> 00:19:58,155
Mm. So, well done.
504
00:19:58,157 --> 00:20:02,493
Because that's exactly the brand of
unparalleled professional excellence that
505
00:20:02,495 --> 00:20:04,328
I've come to expect at ISIS.
506
00:20:04,330 --> 00:20:05,429
No no no no nooo!
507
00:20:05,431 --> 00:20:07,698
What the --
Oh, I wish I was still blind.
508
00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:11,535
You'll never take me aliiiive!
509
00:20:11,537 --> 00:20:13,404
What was I saying?
510
00:20:13,406 --> 00:20:17,175
- Oh yes, unparalleled...
- Paaaam!
511
00:20:17,177 --> 00:20:21,580
For the love of God, seal the exits!
512
00:20:21,582 --> 00:20:26,553
- Professional...
- That's our pee,
513
00:20:26,555 --> 00:20:28,555
and that's the last I
better hear about it.
514
00:20:28,557 --> 00:20:37,329
Because this stupid building is a tinderbox,
and I will burn it to the ground.
515
00:20:37,331 --> 00:20:38,731
Excellence.
516
00:20:38,733 --> 00:20:42,800
Oh hey, speaking of excellent,
did you hear we met a tiger?!
517
00:20:42,802 --> 00:20:45,133
But he got murdered.
518
00:20:45,437 --> 00:20:49,656
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
37397
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.