Original subtitles

l'm not your average guy

What l'm putting on isn't make-up

It's a mask

Βecause my job requires it

Hi everyone, l'm Master Sammy

It's now time for the most popular beauty segment

We've invited legendary make-up artist Master Sammy

Let's see what he's got this time

Today, I'll show you how to do your make-up for work in 3 minutes

3 minutes, really?

Yes, it's the same amount of time to cook instant noodles

Oh my God!

All made-up in 3 minutes? That's amazing

Let's welcome our model Kiki

Hello everyone

Let's get started

We first need to apply some essence before make-up

Put a few drops in the middle of your palm

Apply it evenly over your face, massaging it for half an hour

- Then we can... - Master Sammy

You just said it would take 3 minutes

Now you're saying 30

Then how long does it take?

Make-up takes 3 minutes

The massage beforehand takes half an hour

Altogether, it'll be 90 minutes

Excuse me, as time is of the essence

Could we speed things up?

Let's start with a forehead massage

Put the essence on your forehead in upward strokes

And then downward strokes

When you reach your cheeks, push upwards to give it some lift

So that it'll firm up and become sharper and slimmer

Now, we'll massage along the lymph glands

Then along the decolletage and to the chest

Kiki

Why does your breathing sound so weird?

Sorry, Master Sammy

My nose is blocked, so I have to breathe with my mouth

That's about it for the massage

Master Sammy, please begin applying make-up now

Sure

Okay, what do we do after the lips?

Right, the brows

Βut remember, the thing about brows

ls never to draw them from the inner corner

Start in the middle

Then slowly sketch out your arch

And use an eyebrow brush

To spread it out evenly

Yinchuan

Mobile phone is not allowed in the oil fields

Please be safe

We'll be aware of it

Let's go to the exhibition hall now

Very well

l've bought everything we need

And everything we don't

What time is it?

I need to call my baby

The technology used in our oil fields...

Hello

Why didn't you answer my call earlier?

You can't use mobile phone in the oil fields

What's the matter?

Guess who l'm with?

Guess what we had for lunch?

Guess whether I missed you?

l'm very busy

Tell me you love me, quick, tell me!

Love you love you... love you!

Ridiculous!

Mr. Chan

Did you just hang up with your lover?

We're having a business meeting here

You're dead to me!

Hello

Clerk Chan, you hung up on me!

How dare you!

She hung up on me!

Mr. Chan, hasn't it happened to you before?

I also hung up on my wife once

I had to spend 5 million ...

On a diamond necklace before she would stop hassling me

Why didn't you tell me earlier?

How about this

Βuy your lover a toy

The bigger, the more expensive, the better

A... Big... Toy?

Boss

Where is Miss?

Miss? She's over there brewing in her anger

Dream

What slimming exercises did you learn today?

The program on TV was teaching this

l'll show you

One, two, three, four...

Straight back, slim ankles...

Any good?

I measured

I'm already one inch slimmer

Let's see if you've got a muffin top

What's it got to do with you?

Alright!

That's for you!

Silly you!

You've bought so much cosmetics

You must've spent a few thousand

More than a few thousand. I bought an entire company

lt's a Chinese brand

From now on, you're the boss of this company

Why did you do that?

I'm busy and don't have enough time for you

And I know you like make-up

So I bought this big toy

No...

I mean, this company, especially for you

So that you'll have something to do

Thank you! Βaby!

You're crushing my belly... I can't breathe

But I only use cosmetics, I don't know how to run a company

Silly

l have an oil company, but do I extract it myself?

If you can't manage, go find someone

And you'll just have to manage that person

If you suddenly find that you can't button up

The dress you need to wear, what do you do?

Master Sammy knows!

Can I have your autograph, Master Sammy?

One by one, no hurry

Thanks!

Have you tried out my techniques?

Yes! And it looks amazing!

Thank you, Sammy

Miss, what is this?

A contract

A contract?

Are you alright?

Yes of course

You see, l've just bought a cosmetics company

And l want to hire you as our CEO

Miss, l'm fully occupied

l need to host TV shows and teach

That's alright

You've signed the contract, so if you don't come to work

l'll get a lawyer to sue you

This is highway robbery!

You're wasting my time

10 million a year. ln cash. All yours!

10 million?

Still considering?

Dream, let's go!

Go!

- Oh money, you are so evil - Wait...

Just broke up?

He said I'm ugly, he doesn't love me anymore

You just can't see your beauty

Liar. l'm not beautiful at all

You just haven't discover your beauty

Who cares if he doesn't love you

The important thing is to love yourself

But I'm really not beautiful at all

lf you don't mind, give me a few minutes

I can prove how beautiful you really are

Your eyes and eyebrows naturally form the Golden Ratio

Only 2% of women in the world have that

Can you hear your beauty is crying for attention?

So pretty

l guarantee all living creatures

Will skip a heartbeat when they see you

Thank you

Confidence!

Thank you!

Goodbye beautiful!

You did her make-up?

Women will do anything for beauty

And no woman thinks they're truly ugly

I'm Arnold Cheng

An average cosmetician and salesperson

l have a good understanding of most women, except one...

Hello (Korean)

Hello (Thai)

Hello! (French)

How are you? (French)

Can I help you, Arnold?

Would you be writing...

A story about air hostesses?

You got me again

l'm just messing around

The publisher said air hostess stories are selling well recently

My next story will be about an air hostess and a flight captain

In a romance that endures life and death

Now I need the feeling of being a flight attendant

I'm going to the airport to get to know a flight captain

Maybe two

And start dating them

Captain, please

Where are we above now?

Wherever you want to be

Don't we have to transit?

We can't possibly ignore the control tower

Because of you

My life has reached a point of transit

From now on...

What you control are my emotions and my life

My life and entire aeroplane is in your hands now

Isn't that irresponsible?

It's because I've taken you on as my responsibility

I'm willing to be irresponsible to everyone else

You can't be like that

What's happening?

Nothing much, just crashing down

Seriously?

Romance that endures life and death?

I don't want life and death!

Save me...

You've arrived

l'm here to redeem my free gift

This coupon

ls overdue

But I've reserved one for you

Why, thank you

Work hard on your novel

lt never sells when l write in my own name

When I use someone else's name, it becomes really popular

She's Mona

My first girlfriend

Whenever she writes, she really gets into her story

So much that...

She'll be the protagonist

And search for love

There are two reasons why she'll come to me

One is cosmetics

The other is when she's going through a break-up

Good morning Sir

Miss Chim is expecting you

lt's right at the end of the corridor

The receptionist is already such a looker, I wonder what'll be down there?

Boss, there's a whole room of beauties waiting

This place is huge, why don't I take you in?

Awesome! I'm going to rent out the whole place!

I want lots of women... You're so naughty...

Oh, don't do that, Βoss

Βut l want to!

There are so many more inside, let me go...

Sammy? Sammy...

Hi!

I'm alright, l'll know the way

I'm Βetter

Better

l'll remember you

Hello, Sammy

l'm Chim's secretary, Memo

Please follow me

Good morning, Sammy

- Good morning - Good morning

Sammy, there's something I keep forgetting to tell you

Please don't be offended

What is it?

I forget to tell you that all our staff is female

lt would have been alright if you hadn't said it, but now...

I do feel offended

You are?

So very much

- Hello, Sammy - I'm finding this so very offensive!

Here's some information for you

Thank you

Let me introduce you all to

Our new CEO, Sammy

Hello

l'll switch to Mandarin so that

Our Boss will understand

Welcome, everyone!

I'm so... nervous...

Breathe, breathe...

- l think... - l think...

That as long as we have a dream, anything is possible

As long as we're willing to work hard...

Even if others look down upon us...

We must have faith in ourselves!

We must work hard!

Thank you!

Who are you?

She's Claire

Your assistant

What... what did you say?

She's Claire, your assistant

The tea lady is my assistant?

Hello Master Sammy, l'm Claire

l've watched your shows. You look even more handsome in real life

So l look ugly on TV?

No, you're even better looking in real life

Which department where you under before?

lnitially l was hired as a temp for the operations department

And then they needed staff in marketing

So l went over there to do advertising and events

And because l know a bit of chemistry

I also went to the lab and helped with testing

l took some courses in accounting, and they happened to need an accountant

And then l became a Chartered Accountant and helped out for a few months

Alright...

I'm getting a headache just listening to you

ln any case, you're my secretary

To be exact, I'm your assistant

Your secretary is Creamy

Who's Creamy?

The girl over there

And you?

Master Sammy, let me explain

There's a big difference between a secretary and an assistant

A secretary's duties and an assistant's duties...

Should l go through the finer points now?

Hold it, you're making me deaf

Let me make this clear, don't call me Master Sammy

Just Sammy will do

l understand, Master Sammy

Master Sammy, I'm very happy to be of service

Forget it, you can leave now, thanks

Goodbye

It's been a while

l can't imagine that Arnold Cheng, top of the class at make-up school

Has ended up a salesperson after so many years

Neither can I imagine that the macho guy

Is now that sissy Master Sammy

It's just a job

Same here

l want you to help me

And be in charge of Βeauty's most luxurious counter in Central

l'm so free here in this neighborhood counter

Chatting up housewives. How can I deal with those

Posh ladies who lunch in Central?

lf you can deal with housewives, you can deal with those ladies

You don't want to be stuck in here all your life, do you?

We need to establish homegrown brands

Every woman in China is waiting for us

What's the salary?

What do you think?

Hello!

lncapable women are always the most powerful women

What are you talking about?

When a man no longer loves you

There's no difference

Whether you treat him well or badly

Eileen Zhang Ai Ling said that

Zhang's become a hit again recently

My publisher asked me to write in that era under the name Aylin Zhang

So people might buy my book by mistake

Why did you come What brings you here today?

l got a new job

I'm now in charge of a make-up counter in a department store

You ask if it's worthy to love you

But you must know

Love isn't about...

What's worth it

Eileen Zhang's novels are from a long time ago

They're popular again?

Ip Man's from a long time ago too

People are rushing to make movies about him

Raymond Wong did it, and now Wong Kar-wai

He's found Tony Leung to do it

It's been taking so long, who knows when they're going to finish

lt's a joke

When lp Man meets Aylin Zhang

lp Man, from Fo Shan Wing Chun

That's so cool!

l meant your hat

lt's nothing

May l enquire the purpose of today's meeting?

Not much, I heard that Ms. Aylin is a master in the art of love

Which propelled me embark on this visit

Hopes that l would be able to learn from you, Ms. Aylin, about love

Does it mean that you want to date me?

Indeed, but...

l'm not well learned in the art of dating

That's why l'd like to meet you

lf we're dating we'd have to hold hands

Have you ever held a girl's hand?

l'm not really good at holding hands

But pushing hands is another matter

l've never tried pushing hands

ls it romantic?

If you wouldn't mind me saying

I think it's more fun than holding hands

Really?

Then can you teach me?

Very well

Ms. Aylin

Have you eaten?

Not yet

Neither have I

Hope that one day pushing hands will be as great as holding hands

lnteresting

l think I'll write that!

Go and read some novels, and stop hassling me

Mona likes to put perfume in her ink

She says it's more romantic that way

She particularly likes writing in this bookshop

lt's like her office

She is the type of person who dreams all day

Exactly a dreamer

She often says things that I don't understand

Why were you my first boyfriend?

Why weren't you my last boyfriend?

Sometimes l wonder...

What would happen to me without you

But I also want to know

What is the 'what' that would happen

l'll sign after finish reading it

- Alright - Honey!

Βaby...

Surprise!

Why did you come all the way to Yinchuan?

l came to see you

Oh I'm sorry

You're his Mrs

I've heard a lot about you

Girlfriend, Dream

Girlfriend Dream, pleasure to meet you

Pleasure to meet you, Please take a seat

Honey...

Yes?

Do you remember which special day it is today?

Of course

I'm going to sign a contract with Director Zhang today

We're going to celebrate tonight, you can come too

Assist her outside where she can wait

Miss Chim, please come with me

You really don't remember?

It's the day we sign the contract

It's not important anymore!

Dream! Dream...

There she goes again

What day is it today?

You're screwed, Βoss

lt's Miss Chim's birthday today

Βirthday?

Mr. Chan, you're so dead

Whatever, let's get the contract signed

Βoss, l'm going now

Not having a proper meal?

This is my birthday dinner

It's you're birthday today?

Yep

Happy birthday!

Where's your birthday cake?

Oh, I get it

You must be snacking while you wait for Mr. Chan

He forgot about my birthday

All he wants is to make money

To him, business is everything

Do all men think that women's birthdays aren't important?

Of course not, they are awfully important

l remember all my sisters' birthdays

- Really? - Really

Come with me

Where to?

Come on, quick

Where... where are we going?

l want you to give me flowers

Boss

This is the only place where you can still buy flowers at this hour

So please take these

I don't know when...

My boyfriend began to rely on his secretary to do everything

It's been so long since l've received flowers from him in person

To women, it's not about the flowers

It's the thought that counts

l want cake too!

Cake too?

I want that one

Miss, you can't have it, it's mine

You haven't pay for it, how could it be yours?

That lady said...

She'd reserve it for me when it goes on sale later tonight

From a profitability perspective

If l'm able to afford the original price while she can't

Of course she'd sell it to me

Miss, l'm buying this cake

lt's for my granddaughter

Her parents have both passed away

She's never had a birthday cake in her life

Could you...

Forget it

You can get a cake anytime, this one is so important to her

Just let her have it, Boss

I don't care, l want it!

Let's make a wish

Ok!

Let's blow the candles!

One, two, three

Yay! Happy birthday!

Thank you so much

You're welcome

Do you like it?

Yes!

l always thought that on my birthday...

I would want others to make me happy...

Βut l feel even happier if l did good for someone else

Let's take a photo

Sweetie, can you help?

Press here

Ready...

One, two, three

Boss...

You don't need to worry about skipping Miss Chim's birthday anymore

She had a great time

She was happy without me?

She said so on her blog, see for yourself

ls that a boy's hand?

No it's not

lt's a man's hand!

Everyone, we've got plenty of choices to film our UV range advertisement

We can go to outer space, deserts, yachts

Even a swimming pool in Africa

- Hello? - Dream, it's your baby

Guess what l'm going?

l'm busy right now, call you later

Say you love me

Love you love you... love you! Carry on

A yacht would be ideal, the models have good figures

They can all wear bikinis

Hold on

We're talking about the filming next week

I might not be able to find a decent yacht in such a short time

- Hello? - Hello?

- Smoothie... - Yes

- Are you Smoothie? - I said yes!

l need to film an ad next week

Let me borrow one of your yachts

Which one?

Just the most standard one will do

No problem

- Really? - Sure!

- Thank you - l have so many, it's fine

Βye

Done

l'm sorry Miss Chim

The person who just offhandedly lent you a yacht is...

He wouldn't be the multi-billionaire...

Whose nickname is Smoothie?

Yes

We're good friends

l heard that he's single

You have a chance

Why didn't anyone tell me about this meeting?

l am the Marketing Director after all!

They said you were busy, we didn't want to disturb you

Βut it's alright, we've already decided

To film the next week's ad on a yacht

Come along if you're free

Claire

Pack up

- Yes, Master Sammy - Boss, that's it for the meeting

Oh my God! The sun is killing me

l can't imagine how much whitening I have to do to stay fair

l know!

Which evil person suggests filming this ad on sea?

He'll be cursed with bad luck for sure!

- Let's get some wind - Okay

I want to exude an ethereal feeling for them

Sure, sure

Is anyone going to give me some shade here?

lt's Smoothie! He's coming!

Smoothie's coming!

What are they doing?

What shall we do?

l heard he just broke up with his girlfriend

lf he lays his eyes on me, l'll be rich!

l'm going for it no matter what!

Ready! Go!

Hi, I'm Jodi, the Marketing Director at Βeauty

- Women... - I'm Social, Jodi's secretary

I'm Creamy, Sammy's secretary

All these women... l'm suffocating...

Help! All these... these women...

I can't breathe...

Hi!

l'm the CEO of Beauty

A man...

A man!

A man...a man...

Thank you so much

You're welcome

I'm Sammy by the way

Are you... afraid of women?

Every one of them is just trying to scam me for money

All they want is money. You know what I'm saying?

Take a break

lt's a bit dirty there, rub it off Yes

How about...

The one who came up just then?

Which one?

The one who was scrubbing the floors

How about Cinderella?

She specializes in heavy labor

Very pretty

A pretty lady doing heavy labour

Βut Cinderella might want to scam me too

Do you want to try?

Can I?

Money!

Lots of money!

She's no exception

You know what l'm saying?

l know. But...

Miss, did you lose $5000?

No

Did you lose $5000?

Miss, excuse me, is this yours?

Master Sammy, l found $5000

The person who lost it must be really upset

Master Sammy lent me this spare change, and l lost it

l didn't bring any cash with me today, Cinderella

Hello Mr. Smoothie

Please call me Claire

Hello?

Hello

Are you Miss Claire?

Yes

My name is Kawai

l'm Mr. Βill Liu, a.k.a. Smoothie's secretary

My boss would like to invite you to dinner

So He's wondering if you would be free

Mr. Smoothie wants to ask me out for dinner?

- Wait... wait a second - What?

Then just say yes!

Alright...

Okay

Sorry, it's still Kawai here

What would you like to eat?

Fast food shop? No...

The fast food shop below my office, on the left

Fast food shop?

Sure, I've never tried one in my life

Tomorrow night 8 o'clock

Okay

Let's rent the whole place out, as usual

Βoss, you can't rent out fast food shops

Well, then get everyone else out

Yes, Boss

Excuse me, sir

Here's a little something, please go to another restaurant

Excuse me, ladies

Please go to another restaurant

- Miss Claire! - Mr. Smoothie

You really came!

l arranged the date, of course I'd come

l thought you mightn't be used to a place like this

I come to this restaurant everyday!

Please

Waitress!

Mr. Smoothie, it's self-service here

What do you mean?

l've always had service when l need it

Welcome! Please take a look at what you'd like to order

Well, what's your specialty?

ls your Executive Chef in?

Give me a suggestion

We have everything on the menu

We have a Japanese hot pot set

With grain-fed beef and prawns

or grain-fed beef and drunken chicken

As for the soup base...

Let's have that hot pot, they're famous for it

You want hot pot? Let's have it then

Add $10 you'll also get a large jar of grape juice

How much would it be if l want a bottle of '82 Lafite?

How about a jar of '82 Ribena, it's made out of grapes too

Right, so that'll be all

Thank you

That'll be $105, please

Card or cash?

$105?!

lt's my treat

Card, please

Please swipe here

No reaction, you're out of money

What? You're kidding

I just bought an aeroplane with this card

Try another one

None of them works. Use cash

Rich people don't carry cash around

Shing!

Why don't you let it be my treat?

You're... treating... me?

Mr. Smoothie, are you alright?

l'm so touched

No woman has ever paid for my dinner before

Even my mother only gave me milk

Dream!

The TV has changed

The cosmetics have changed

The pillows have changed

The duvet has changed

The bed sheets have changed

Even the mattress has changed

Does she want to have me changed too?

l've bought you

The most decadent diamond necklace in South Africa

- Thank you - Look...

lt's so bright that... I can't open my eyes

I need to sleep!

l've been trying to get hold of this real estate tycoon's daughter

l didn't even hear from her once

How horrible

Smoothie calls and she comes running

Maybe she thinks our offer is genuinely sincere

I hope so

Hi!

Hello Victoria

Call me Miss Lee

So you're my ex's new gal?

That's her

Am I talking to you?

l don't even know you

He's our company's...

Miss Lee is very busy, you got 5 minutes

This is our proposal

We hope to be a tenant at one of your company's counters

l'm sure you understand, that among our competitors

Our counters' sales have been doing quite well

We hope to set up in your shopping mall...

- Hello? - Hello?

Your new gal is right in front of me

What do you want?

You might think it's subjective, but I don't think she's pretty

What do you think?

She's average

You heard

I know we've broken up

Βut at least give me some respect

Don't just randomly pick up anybody

People were mocking me last night

They said my ex is dating a cheap nobody

l was so sad that l cried all night

The magazines say she used to living in public housing

Oh, please! l only agreed to see her for your sake

So sad!

Bi...tch!

Are you talking to me?

Yes l'm talking to you bitch

You stinky bitch, stupid bitch

Even your mother's a bitch!

Bitch, bitch, bitch...

You freakin' bitch!

Βitch!

She's horrible enough, and there's a whole 5 ft 1 1 of her

And watch out for those baubles below

Hey bitch's Sec, that's exactly 5 minutes

Let's go

Βye Miss Βitch

You heard them, they called me a bitch!

Put them on the black list! Βlack list!

Βitch, so declasse

Why are you leaving in such a hurry?

Hold on...

I'm sorry, Master Sammy

Please give me a minute

What happened?

- Are you alright? - I'm fine...

Give me a minute, l'm fine

No, don't let it brew inside

What's wrong?

l think I'm not going out with Mr. Smoothie anymore

Miss Bitch was right

l'm not good enough for him

The guy didn't say he's gonna ditch you

You're usually so optimistic

It's just a facade, I'm actually very insecure

I pretend to be optimistic to hide my pessimism, you got it?

Don't worry about anything now

Put yourself together. You can't lose to that woman

When it comes to love, there's no such thing as being good enough

You can only love and not love

I have every confidence in you

Here's a wager

lf you don't get married

l'll do anything you ask

lf you do get married, I win

So you won't lose either way, right?

Thank you

Thank you, Master Sammy

Oh but

We didn't get the counter just then, what should we do?

Don't worry

Just watch what that bitch has to say to Smoothie

The most crucial thing in life

ls to know what to say to yourself

Master Sammy

You suddenly seem so macho

ln what way do I look like a macho man?

Ah, no, you don't look macho after all

Have you seen her...

Hanging out with suspicious characters?

I suspect Dream might be cheating on me

No

No? Look!

A pervert's hand, right on her chest!

This ring is the only clue

Such small crescent on his nails...

His kidneys must be weak

What are you doing?

Checking if my kidneys could be weak

How dare this man touch my woman

I must catch this adulterer!

What are you doing?

l want to pee, no... my back feels dry

It's a little itchy, I'll put some moisturizer on later

l asked around

lt costs 80 thousand to buy his hand

150 thousand to finish him off, then I'm in peace forever

lsn't that a good bargain?

Indeed

Βut Boss, we must abide by the law in Hong Kong

l'm just kidding, I'm not a barbarian

Βut when I lose patience...

l don't joke around

I become another man

Rest assured Boss, give me some time

l'll find a private investigator and have it all fixed

Good. l'm leaving

Alright

Jesus, he's scary

Have you found the adulterer?

I don't think we'll be able to so quickly

l'm losing patience

I need to know all the men Dream saw

On her birthday

Boss

Sammy

Memo, tell me all the men Dream saw

On her birthday

That day...

I remember she saw you, Master Sammy

The manager of the counters, Mr. Cheng

She got a snack delivery, and said the delivery boy was cute

Call Cheng right away

And l need to see the cute delivery boy

Βoss, that's genius

The guy will never be able to hide from you

What's the hurry?

The big boss wants to see us

Be careful. He has a weird obsession with hands

What do you mean?

If he likes your hands, he'll refuse to let go of them

And will keep kneading and fondling them

Just for a little while, right?

For a whole day

There you are

This is our big boss

- Hello! - Arnold Cheng

Food delivery, anyone?

Yes, come here, l'll pay

My boss is very welcoming

ln a moment he'll shake hands with you

Even the delivery boy gets a handshake?

Here's a $1000

Plus a ring. So will you shake now?

Of course!

Who wants a handshake? Who...

You're the cutie?

Yes, even my mother calls me that

You didn't say we had to shake this long

There's four of us, let's play mahjong

Sure!

But can we play in the office?

l'm the boss and I say we can

Right, whatever the boss says

To be frank

Doing deliveries is just a part-time job

I've travelled the world on numerous tournaments

My real identity is - the God of Mahjong

So let's begin

What's up? Don't you have a job to do?

Back to work! Go!

Βack to work!

Let's play

Why aren't you shuffling?

Yeah, why not?

Oh

Why are you wearing gloves?

l'm afraid my hands will get allergic to these mahjong

No, take them off

Alright

What's wrong with your nails?

Boss, I'm in the beauty business

l need to try new products

Wipe it off

This nail polish is made out of asphalt

l said wipe it off!

Okay

We're playing Taiwanese version

My mother's Taiwanese, l learned to play when I was a kid

l'm not quite familiar, please spare me

Here goes

What's happened?

Why isn't anyone here?

So why are you still looking?

I didn't ask you to look. l've already played

So quickly?

I think l've scored

It's liguligu, scored without playing

- That's 90 points - 90?

Superb! l'm lucky!

90 points?

We're all Cantonese, let's play Cantonese version

Taiwanese mahjong has no technique... Shit!

- 2 circles - 3-of-a-kind!

3-of-a-kind!

About to win

3-of-a-kind!

l don't believe you'll win with this!

Well, l just did

You discarded the tile, so thanks to you

That can't be

lt's just luck

Again...

Wait...

I want to change seats. I'll change with you

That's fine with me

Wait...

Let's play Beijing version this time

My new girlfriend is from Beijing

In Beijing mahjong, the biggest trump is...

Hunting for 5

What's that?

Hunting for 5 is hunting for 5

That means you have 4 and 6, and missing 5 in the middle

Don't Bullshit me!

Why did you ask then?

Just asking

See what the God of Mahjong has got?

I'm not playing that one, this one is better

West

4-of-a-kind

4-of-a-kind!

Again

I told you I was in luck today

l hunt the 5!

I hunt the 5...

You guys tried to con me first

- l'm not in your way, am l? - Thanks

Com'on, it's just a game

You're the cheat!

Put the knife down!

l'm going to give you a good stabbing!

Put the knife down first!

This is a game, let's show some manners

You're scaring me

You're scaring me too

Jesus, what are you doing with that knife

Thank god he's never lost money to me

All three of you are cheaters!

You even want to cheat on a delivery boy?

A multi-billionaire like him

Doesn't need to scam spare change like this

You all made me do it

What do you want now?

A gun?

Sichuan version! We're changing seats

l will fight to the end!

Yes! l've won!

Same here, let's see which of you is the loser

Nine bamboos

Here comes the God of Mahjong!

Look again, it's a false call

A false call indeed, God of Mahjong

Hold!

Why are we stopping? l've lost the most

I'll pay for it

Hold!

Come, see if this looks similar

Isn't this your hand?

Not now

Now it's exactly the same

- Thank you so much - You're welcome

Who's hand is this?

lt wouldn't be yours, would it?

You adulterer!

Pretend to be a sissy to flirt with girls!

Clerk Chan! You need to make it clear

If we were married, he'd be an adulterer

Uh oh, big trouble

lt couldn't be worse than your false call

You never said you'd marry me

And yet you're suspicious of me?

Dream! Dream!

Dream! Dream...

Βoss, are you alright?

That's dramatic

Stop looking

He's worth billions, quick, help him up

Have a seat first

Do you need a doctor?

What did l do wrong?

Why did she treat me like this?

l can't help you this time

You adulterer!

Why would l still be here if I were the adulterer?

Waiting for you to have me killed?

You have a point

Look at you, there's only money in your eyes

You think that money can solve all problems

Do l look that bad?

Get up, let me do a skin test for you

Come on, stand still...

Spread your legs, and do as l'm doing

Alright, bend over

My tummy's in the way

Then tuck it in

Good, stay there

One, two, three

Okay, done!

What were you filming?

Nowhere else but your expression

The test is very simple

If you face is totally deformed on the photo

lt reflects that your skin is aging rapidly Really?

What is this?

Let me see, not bad

l'm really that ugly, huh?

That's what you look like, face it

Master Sammy, you're the beauty expert, help me

l know a really good plastic surgeon in America

He can keep secrets and is really skilled. l'll pass you his details

Plastic surgery? What will he do?

Well, it depends on how you want to look

If you want to look 3-7 years younger,

then you can do a few facelifts

Then get botox - perfect!

What if I want to look 20 or 30 years younger?

A piece of cake. Come here

Just close your eyes and jump out of that window

Then you won't only be younger, you'll have a new life

Βoss, l'm joking

l don't want this ugly face, nor this big gut

l hereby announce that I will hire Master Sammy

As my stylist!

One thing that men should learn from women

Is that no matter what you look like

You mustn't give up on making yourself look better

Staying slim can be done anytime, anywhere

Perseverance is the key

- Don't come out once you're in - Okay

Lock him up!

This one matches your clothes today

Thank you

ls it new?

Please take a look, it's this season's newest range

Where is this brand from?

lt's a reputable local brand

Local?

Then it must be cheap

Even crappy brand can sell here? It's the beginning of the end

The whole mall's been degraded

When it comes to cosmetics

I always choose European brands

Or at the very least "Made in Japan"

Βut never a Chinese brand

I wonder if it's cement or really foundation

Cement? Will it corrode my skin?

Look, it even looks like lime

Please allow me to say

Our local brand isn't bad at all

The production standards are higher than those European brands

Take a look at this colour

My quality is better

My requirements are more stringent

I warn you, don't you dare touch me

lf you touch my face, I'll sue you to hell!

Even the lipstick looks bizarre

Doesn't look like he knows blush from a brush

Brands that we've never even heard of

Probably don't hire decent staff anyway

Looks like we can't shop here anymore

The brands are so random

I'm so going to complain

Please... Fine, run away, you cowards!

Your skin is rough and dull

The tracks of your tears are so deep

I bet you probably cry yourself to sleep every night

You just use heavy make-up to hide the loneliness and emptiness

How did you know?

A lighter foundation will make you look brighter

With "shy blush" you'll have a young girl's blush

Which will reveal a youthful shyness in you

You think fake eyelashes will make your eyes look bigger

That's lying to yourself and freaking others out

Ladies!

Think you're gorgeous?

I need to buy this! l need to buy your make-up!

- Me too... - Me too...

One after one...

You saw me. Was it too over the top?

I've known you for so long

Yet l never would have guessed that you're a lady-killer

How on earth you're so good at it?

You want to know?

Come to my house after work

Sure

Call me later

Hello?

Grandma, I'm bringing a friend home for dinner tonight

A friend?

Oh good, come back soon then

Who was that?

Arnold said he's bringing a friend home for dinner

Your brother's bringing his girlfriend home for dinner

- What? Really? - Yes

Big sister!

Brother said he's bringing his long-term girlfriend home for dinner

- Really? - Yes

- Finally... - What is it?

Mum, brother's been having a girlfriend all these years

He's bringing her to dinner tonight

Really?

That's great news!

What's the fuss?

Your uncle's bringing his fiance over tonight

To talk about their wedding

Grandma

Uncle's getting married soon

He's back today to talk about the wedding

Tell them to prepare

Why didn't he say so on the phone?

Yes

I didn't know your family had a pet shop

It's a pet salon

l do make-up for people, my family does it for cats and dogs

Anything wrong with that?

- Of course not - Come in, you must be hungry

Do you have dog food?

Cat food will fill you up too

I'm back on time for dinner again

A man?

- You know him? - Sammy?

Hi Helen

My sister Helen

My nephew

Hi!

Let's eat

Grandma, mother, auntie, bon appetit

First sister, second sister, little one, bon appetit

You are keeping fit, have vegetables

Sammy, you should eat too

I can't stand it anymore

l'm sorry, what can't you stand?

- Let's eat - Help yourself

You family only eats prawns?

Because I like them

Arnold, how long have you two known each other?

That's a long time

We used to go to make-up school together

And later, he asked me to work at his company

Well...did you notice that...

The straw used to be straight

Βut it's interesting

That now it can be shaped into a curve

Or into all sorts of shapes

Like a screwdriver

Or a heart

I really can't stand it no more!

lt's just a new style of straw

Mommy, what can't you stand no more?

Stop calling Mommy, l'm very conservative

The straight straw was fine, why bend it on purpose?

That's nothing wrong

It's quite convenient

For putting it in your mouth...like this

Βetter than a straight one that keeps poking the throat

You think it's interesting?

- Indeed - lt's so fun

ln any case...

Even bent ones can be made straight again

Straws are so weird

The more you bend the harder to straighten them again

lt gets soft on both sides eventually and loses its strength, look...

What do you mean?

lt lost its strength, so we'll throw it away

What's going on?

l had enough!

I'm telling you, I will not allow you and Arnold to be a couple!

A couple?

Brother, if this is embarrassing you, we can stop talking about it

l formally announce that

l'm as straight as this chopstick!

And you?

That's none of your business

Although you've learnt about women from them

Βut they don't represent all women

At least l'm pretty good at selling cosmetics

Alright

I'm taking you to meet other types of women tonight

Definitely not THAT kind, ok?

They're my make-up models

Hello!

They're really cool

Let's have fun!

You're having a nice chat, not afraid of women anymore?

Sammy

Thanks for inviting me tonight

l really think you understand me

Less is more, what's natural is beautiful

One more thing...

Don't drink too much

Enough chatting for you three

Do you want to improve your make-up skills?

- Of course! - Then you have to ask my friend

You should each toast him and then ask him to teach you

Okay

Hello?

Yes, Sammy speaking

l think it's Room 102

Alright, see you

There are more models coming?

lt's your girlfriend, who is my assistant too

She has a few documents for me to sign

There are so many women here

Will she get the wrong idea when she's here?

Hard to avoid

Then what should I do?

I'd better leave

You shouldn't be so serious

If you don't want upset someone

Not even a little teeny weeny upset

And not even get a bit of the wrong idea

Then you know you're for real

l understand now

l'm going

Claire didn't say where she was

Wouldn't that be worse if you bump into her like this?

Then what should I do?

Dress up like a woman

What?

Do l look like a woman now?

Yes, you're as pretty as a flower

Give us a spin

Now bounce, make sure everything's in position

Βounce again. Ok...

Words can't describe what I'm going through right now

l'd like to sing a song

Which song?

Gong Linna's "Heartbeat"

"Heartbeat"

Can l punch you?

Don't!

- Master Sammy, your documents - What took you so long?

ls this your friend?

Hello, I'm Claire

You look familiar

How could that be?

I'm from Dongbei, my name is Snowy

Hello, I'm Claire

Don't think you can touch him just because he's a tranny

Could you sign the documents first? Thank you

- Hurry up then - Thank you

You've turned them upside down

You really do look familiar

He's a Northeast Indian, plus a little Bengali

And a bit of Thai kind of mix

Among the trannies, he's the finest!

Oh stop staring, all pretty girls look familiar!

Clerk Chan, don't you dare run anywhere

Stop playing hide and seek with me

Miss... Miss Chim

Why do you look so nervous?

Feeling guilty?

Where's the boss?

I can't tell you

You're all perched pretty on the boss's chair

l'm dispensable to him now

Where is he? l need to see him

I still can't tell you

Are you going to tell me or not?

I'll have you fired!

Go ahead, boss said...

If you fire me, he'll hire me back

Miss Chim, just cry out loud if you want to

While you're going to a formal event

If you had to wear make-up and glasses at the same time

I suggest you wear frameless glasses

Βut remember, they must suit your eyebrow and eye shape

Right, I have two boxes of glasses here

Choose a pair that suits you the most

For example, her eyebrows have a more rounded arch

So a round pair of glasses would suit her

- Here - Thank you!

Good!

One more thing

That's the colour of your eye shadow. To look good...

It should contrast strongly with the temple of your glasses

Delivery

Who ordered dessert from Xiao Tian Gu?

Me! I did!

Hello everyone!

l asked someone to order it... Who did l ask?

Your secretary, Kawaii

Kawaii ordered it

Hello everyone!

Mr. Smoothie, you're here!

- Yes - Let me help you with that

I heard that employees

Are always doing overtime

So l want to treat you desserts

And I miss you so much!

Wow, that's a lot of affection

Thank you Smoothie!

Thank you!

l miss her so much!

Which one do you want? l'll get it for you

I don't mind

She's famous for her milk

lt's so nice of you

Is there anything with milk...

Master Sammy, would you like a mango pudding?

Sure, thanks

Stop working for a second, have some dessert

Here, I'll feed you

Have some while it's warm

Wow, so sweet!

lt stings my eyes

Let me finish up first, I'll have it in a while

We're dating now

It's your turn to feed me

Here...

I'll feed you!

Why?

You're so chubby and cute, like a baby

Come, let me feed you

I suddenly feel so maternal

- It's fun - Fun, yeah?

You should have some too

Mona, where are you? l'm in Causeway Βay

l'm at your 1 1 o'clock

There are so many people over there

Come over, quickly

Yes, look this way please

Mona

Hey?

What are you doing?

Doing some snapshots

How about... we go...

What?

Hey man, you can't be so selfish

You can't take her for a one-on-one photo shoot

- She just flashed at everyone - Where?

Flash!

What are you doing here?

Teen model photos are all the rage now

You know, those models can't really write

I can ghost write autobiographies on their behalf

Don't you think l look really pretty today?

I've never been photographed like this in my life

l feel amazing!

Stop!

Please stop taking photos, please stop...

Stop!

l don't care if l offend you

What are you trying to do?

Yesterday you're a flight attendant, today you're... Lady Gaga

So what?

What am I supposed to do?

Βe yourself

Everyone should be themselves

Can I?

These...

l wrote these novels

I bring them to the publisher every time

But no one wants them

You think I like dressing up as a flight attendant?

You think I enjoy being a ghost writer?

Βut no one wants me

No one wants Mona!

No one wants me...

It's sunrise

I can't do this, l need sleep

Go take a nap, Master Sammy

I'll finish it for you

Ok, l'll sleep for a while

Master Sammy

I know your secret

What secret?

You have a crush on me

That's not true!

You pretend to be a sissy, you've a crush on me for a long time

No, I don't...

Look me in the eye and say you don't like me

Say it!

l don't like you!

Look me in the eye and say you don't like me!

Look me in the eye and say you don't like me...

lt won't stop?

Good morning

Calm down!

Are you talking to me?

No, l'm just talking to myself

ln a situation like this, I can only think of three solutions

The first one...

Kowtow and beg her

l beg you... I beg you...

The second one...

Βeat her up

Βut both are fairly difficult in execution

lt seems that I must resort to the last solution...

Aside from money, the only thing that can appease a women is...

A man's body

I know we've broken up

But I don't like the woman you've chosen

I'm so jealous!

We've broken up

Women can be jealous even when they've broken up

l can't control myself

I purposely lost control of myself

You should find another man

They are only interested in my money

Then look for another rich guy

I know you still have feelings for me

If not

Why would you have done that to me?

lt's my fault

I'm afraid I won't be able to control myself

I need to propose to Miss Claire!

But for such a well-off guy like me

I have everything

How should I know how to propose?

Can you help?

lt's all about one magic word

Which word?

?

?!

?!...

Damn it!

Rich people don't know it and neither do poor people

The best damn thing anyone can hope for is to marry me!

Even you'd want her to live a happy life

Don't worry

Prepare the three essentials for proposal

I'll arrange for you

Really?

Put this on

Now?

Tonight is important for you

Ok

I don't know...

No one's ever given me so much attention

Have you heard?

Confidence

Is the best make-up you could ever wear

Let me apply confidence onto your face

What are you doing?

Can you hold me like a man?

Hello?

Sammy, I've prepared the three essentials

Where are you?

Hello? Hello...

Cinderella, the one up there is your prince

l'm...

The mouse that drives your pumpkin carriage

Up you go

Your prince is waiting

Hello?

I can't say it!

Hold on

Hello?

Master Sammy, I don't know what to do

Hold on, I'll be quick.. Hello?

l told you l don't know how to ask for things!

I'm thinking... hold on

Pick up the bouquet

Wait

I've got the bouquet

Wave it around a couple of times

Alright!

- Master Sammy... - Hello?

He's waving the bouquet around

Like he's welcoming me, not proposing

Now what?

Wrong one

Act horny

Acting horny's easier

Pick up the ring, kneel down and propose

I need to propose?

Oh no, it's all wrong

What are you doing?

l don't know, how about you?

Here, l propose

Have we completed the whole process?

l think so, I've never done it before

Let's celebrate then

Alright!

Who are you?

Clerk Chan!

Dream...

Where did you go?

Hey l'm talking to you. Where were you all this time?

l went to a boot camp

Nonsense!

Where's your tummy? Why are you so skinny now?

Are you sick?

No, silly!

l'm healthy as ever! Look...

Who did this to you?

Master Sammy did

I love him

I love him too

He gave me a lot of encouragement

Nothing is too difficult if you put your heart into it

l did this for myself too

Βut mainly it was for you

Will you marry me?

I love you

You look so... normal today

Don't you need to write?

l've thought it through

You were right

I should be myself

And stop being everyone else's substitute

I want to tell you that...

l'm getting married

Married? You're kidding right?

l'm really getting married

Why so sudden?

Congratulate me

Come on!

Congratulations

That's not from your heart

You have to say it from your heart

Smile and say, "congratulations"

Congratulations, ok?

l've chosen the little church we used to go to all the time

You still remember?

I'd like the wedding to be romantic and blissful

And l want you to do my make-up

You can't say no

It'll be your wedding present to me, ok?

My fiance and minister haven't arrive yet

You're beautiful today

Hurry, they're almost here

I don't know how to do your make-up

You don't know?

You're a professional make-up artist, how could you not know?

Usually when I do make-up

l'll picture the finished look in my head, but...

l can't do it this time

You've never imagined what I'd look like when l got married?

l have

A long time ago

When we were still together

So just think of that when you're doing it

When l thought of that look...

I was thinking you belonged to me

I don't care. Today, you will do

The most beautiful bridal make-up for me

So beautiful

Come with me

Stand here and don't move

Turn around

Why don't you come walk with me

No

Of course you can

You're here

We're practicing

Hello

Do you love her?

Of course I do

Very well, then promise me

That you'll only love her in your lifetime

I can't do that

She loves you, how could you do this to her?

lt's nice that she loves me

Βut l need to love other people too

It's so selfish of her to think that way

Then how many do you need to love?

Well, the more the better

Βut sometimes we're short on people

There's not much I can do

That's ridiculous! Do you...

Do you... like it when they all come at once?

Of course, it's sharing

l also welcome you to join our big family

Are you crazy? Βig family?

Βigamy is illegal, are you alright?

Are you alright? I'm just talking about sharing

Mona! l forbid you to marry this man!

He's not my fiance, he's the minister

You're hilarious!

Minister?

Just joking, Father

l'm sorry, Father

- Father, excuse me - I really am the minister

Sorry...

l've been waiting for you, excuse us

How's it going, is everyone here?

Yes, everyone's here

- And the groom... - Three of us

Are you kidding me again?

Yes

I want to see how you'd react to me getting married

Mona, I don't have time to kid around with you

I quit playing, ok?

Arnold Cheng!

Eileen Zhang once said

There's always someone waiting for you

Regardless the time

Regardless the place

You'll know

That there's someone

I always thought that you are the one

l kid around

Because I know whenever I come back...

You'll always be waiting for me

You're the only person on earth

Who'll allow me to be so stubborn

I guess you're not going to wait for me anymore

Father, let's get married

Wait!

You're right

I'm not going to wait anymore

You once asked why I was your first boyfriend

And not your last

I'm telling you that I'll be your last boyfriend

I'm going to marry you!

Father, I'm going to marry her!

That's good

But I'm in a hurry. Did you prepare rings?

Happy?

l haven't announce that you could exchange rings yet

Take it off

l'm going in

Maybe not

Congratulations

Miss...

Miss Βitch, what are you doing here?

I didn't want to come

But I couldn't control myself

l've thought it through

About what?

That it's alright to watch the person you like marry someone else?

Quite the opposite

l came today to get my man back

l believe he'll only be happy if he was with me

You might think so!

If you really love someone...

You'll believe that you can give them the greatest happiness

So what can you do...

To give him the greatest happiness?

That's not your business

I have my ways

l even brought a gun

Don't stop me

That's intense

She's right

lf you love somebody...

You should believe that you can give them the greatest happiness

Mr. Βill Liu

Will you take Miss Claire

The woman on your right

To be your lawfully wedded wife?

To have and to hold, for better or worse, for richer or poorer...

I want a wedding like this

Don't worry

Our wedding will be two times as big as this

I'm talking about how romantic it is, not the size

Understood

ln sickness or in health, to love and to cherish

And pledge your faithfulness

Till death do you part?

That's a huge responsibility

So do you?

Could l speak first?

l'd always thought I was the best make-up artist

But that's not true

The best make-up isn't about hiding one's weaknesses

lt's to highlight one's strengths

Just like love

You see their strengths

When you're in love

You can still spot their weaknesses

Βut you don't mind them

Make-up that's done well

lsn't a mask

Βut l've always used a mask to protect myself

You said you're insecure

But actually l'm the most insecure

l'm foolish enough to teach you how to date and propose

I sent the love of my life to someone else

So what do you want?

l've known all along

So while you were teaching me all that

You were actually

Hiding your love for me all along

l can't be in a relationship with a man

He's not talking to you

He's made himself very clear that...

ls he talking to you?

l really wasn't talking to you

Everybody freeze!

l'm here to get my man back!

Don't force me... Don't move...

Miss Lee, calm down...

Smoothie, you are not allowed to marry other women!

Miss Lee...

- Βe quiet! - Calm down...

I said be quiet...

If you're so insecure, why aren't you leaving now?

I know you love me, I'm not afraid of anything

Freeze, both of you!

No one in the world

Is as crazy as you

No one is as crazy about me as you

Calm down everyone!

Everything is under control!

I'm sorry, Mr. Smoothie

I really can't marry you

I can see that

l'm sorry, I can't marry you either

So, do you like men or women?

That's none of your business

Just kidding. I only pretend to be gay for my job

In those chaotic preceding minutes

Everyone has found their true love

Just as I do

Since there were some accidents during the ceremony

I propose we choose another date

To have our weddings together and double our happiness

All's well end's well!

What do you say, Dream?

I'm in your hands

Good!

Happy Chinese New Year!

All the best in the Year of the Rabbit!

Congratulations!