All language subtitles for The.Incoherents.2020.HDRip.XviD.AC3-EVO

Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org

Flansburgh, Flansburgh,
Flansburgh, Flansburgh!

Flansburgh, Flansburgh,
Flansburgh!

Flansburgh, Flansburgh,
Flansburgh, Flansburgh, Flansburgh!

Roman Colosseum!

We've waited 2,000
years for this!

Welcome to the future
of rock and roll!

Hey, let's hear it for
those opening acts,

give it up for Green Day,

Radiohead
and Mr. Bruce Springsteen.

Oh, hey, I tell you what?

If they stick with it,

they might have a career
in this business.

Hey, I've been playing
for six damned hours,

I've been playing 11 encores!

I've got to go home,
buenas noches, motherfuckers!

Flansburgh,
Flansburgh, Flansburgh!

The Flansburgh is ready.

40 or 40?

40.

We're waiting.

- Can I have some of this?
- Yeah.

- Bruce, me first, you promised.
- Give me some of that.

- Oh, yeah.
- Back taxes, my friend,

and, oh, that stock you
just bought, timber!

Imagination.

Formation after taxation.

We need to talk. Cholesterol,
600 and rising, not good, Bruce.

Guess what we're having
for dinner? Asparagus.

Asparagus,
asparagus, asparagus,

asparagus, asparagus,
asparagus, asparagus!

Oh.

Did you hear about
Kurt Thompson?

- Ah, Brazil, right?
- Front page.

Millions of acres of
the Amazon will be protected

from development, ad infinitum,
all because of him.

- Hmm. Wow!
- What a powerhouse.

Yes, he is.

Come, I've got a job for you.

We've got to get these in
some sort of workable order.

- Any other paralegals around?
- They all left to go out.

Half price jello shots.

You can go if you can
find somebody else.

Nah, I'm not in the mood

to watch single people be
single, I'm better off here.

Vintage Bruce, you set
the bar high, my friend.

- Really?
- I've never seen anybody take the mundane

and perform it with
such panache,

no task is too trivial,
it's inspiring.

Thank you, George.

No, thank you, Bruce.

Hey, Charles, how about
that Thompson?

♪ That light ♪

♪ It's circled around
your face ♪

♪ Is gone and now replaced ♪

♪ With a darker time ♪

♪ I heard you singing ♪

♪ Heard you sing, you sang ♪

♪ Is that unsaid
listen to that ♪

♪ I feel a rushing out
for the national grid ♪

♪ She takes her partners
they're not even close ♪

♪ And you know you
ain't even part of those ♪

♪ Nights of glory
days in shame ♪

♪ You got your warning
And remember your name ♪

♪ And nights of glory
days in shame ♪

♪ You got your warning
And remember your name ♪

♪ And in the morning
you put on your clothes ♪

♪ Look in the mirror ♪

♪ I won't, I won't, I won't
I won't to be the one ♪

♪ I know, I know
I know, I know ♪

Did you just chug a beer?

I took a slight pause.

It wasn't an official chug.

- Tough day at work?
- Meh, I'm just thirsty.

Oh, Gwen's book.

Oh, it's bleak and hopeful
just like her.

I think I've seen
more of the bleak.

Oh, no, those days are over.

The reviews started coming in,
they're fantastic.

Hmm, so excited.

Are we really out of beer?

Bruce.

Oh, it's great,
it's great, you know,

tell her congratulations,
pretty awesome.

Did you see the list?

Tough to miss.

You know, considering
I just got home from work,

can you give me like a few minutes,
before I start thinking about...

It's just, it's just stuff
I've been asking you about

- for a while, that's all.
- All right, all right.

- I will, uh, I'll get on it.
- Are you coming up?

- Basement.
- It'd be nice if we went to sleep

at the same time
every once in a while.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I just, uh...

- I got to unwind a little bit.
- All right, all right, not too late,

you're getting those
bags under your eyes again.

Yeah.

- Hey, Liz.
- Hmm.

Ah...

I can't not do it anymore.

- I had a feeling this was coming.
- Really?

Yeah, you're down there every
night, it's pretty obvious.

- Are you cool with that?
- Is this about my sister?

- No.
- You're not jealous?

Of course not,
as a matter of fact,

she used to be jealous of me,
when she had no clue what she was...

- No, she wasn't.
- Yes, she was.

- Do you remember that...
- No, no, can I, could I, could just sleep on it?

Go ahead.

- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

Yeah.

♪ One, two, three, four ♪

All right.

Give me an easy cord for
a rusty guitar player.

How about E minor,
first one I learned.

All right, let's let them
roll, one, two, three, four.

♪ I took the time ♪

♪ I riffed the rhyme again ♪

♪ The place is clean ♪

♪ And I popped the wine ♪

Ooh, yeah.

The place is clean.

I popped...

the wine.

All right, second verse.

One, two, three,

♪ The bed is mine ♪

♪ I... ♪

Oh, shit!

Stay asleep, stay asleep,
stay asleep.

All right.

♪ Wipe the dust off the ♪

♪ Old lampshade ♪

♪ The kids are gone ♪

♪ They're off to school ♪

Ooh!

The pool...

is... open.

Morning.

It cannot interfere with
anything around here.

It won't.

I promise.

Go ahead.

- Thank you!
- You want eggs?

I would love some.

♪ Me, me, me, me ♪

♪ Me, me, me, me, me ♪

♪ Me, me, me, me, me ♪

♪ Loves you, you, you ♪

Yeah?

- Tyler.
- Yeah?

It's Bruce. You working?

- Some dumb wedding.
- When you getting off?

- When I'm done.
- When are you done?

- Later.
- Well, when it's later,

you want to come to
New York for a while?

♪ Me, me, me, me ♪

- Why?
- I told you you'd be the first person

- I'd call when I was ready.
- The Incoherents?

I'm ready.

Bruce...

if you're
messing with me,

I will murder you,
I, I will take my drumstick,

shove it through your eye
and into your brain.

When can you get here?

♪ Me, me, me, me, me ♪

- I'm leaving now.
- Call your brother.

♪ Me, me, me, me, me ♪

- Tyler!
- Late.

Where are you going?

We're rehearsing
in 30 minutes.

Tyler!

Do you even
look at the labels?

- I like to get in and out.
- Look at this chicken you're buying,

you know what kind of chemicals
they pump in those animals?

- Yeah, flavor.
- Hey, suit yourself.

When your children start
growing a third ear

in the middle of their forehead,
don't say I didn't warn you.

What are you,
a vegan Nazi all of a sudden?

Chrissie is helping me relieve all
the negative energy in my body.

No meat, no dairy, no toxins,

- no stress.
- No fun.

The city planning shit
is killing me,

getting a zoning law change is
like amending the constitution.

- I needed a life change.
- Well, how about another?

I mean, Tyler said you
think about it every day.

Of course I think about
it every day,

doesn't mean I should
jump back in.

Was that you talking
or was it Chrissie?

Hey, Chrissie would
never suppress

my desire to express myself,

she's Michelle to my Barack.

I think you might be Michelle.

- Even better.
- Well, what's the holdup then?

You remember our first
gig at CBGB's...

and I realized I was
standing on DD's spot?

I was a nervous wreck, I don't
need that in my life anymore.

All right, all right,
don't worry about that yet.

If we're feeling good and the vibe
is right, maybe we'll go play a show.

Besides it's only the bass,
it's not that tough.

Yeah, you're a fingers
and strings guy, piece of cake.

Hey, go tell that to Flea.

Even if I say yes, there's no
way Jimmy's going to do it,

- the guy can hold a grudge.
- How come you guys were never

as pissed off at me as him?

I came to grips with the fact
that the long hard slog

that is rock and roll
was not for you.

I let it go, he didn't.

You can't help it,
if you're soft, it's genetics.

You got about a gallon of high fructose
corn syrup in there, by the way.

♪ The Bohos have become
bohomeowners, yeah ♪

♪ The Bohos have become
bohomeowners, yeah ♪

♪ Weren't these people
just as penniless as you ♪

♪ Like three minutes ago ♪

Damn, Stew.

Why couldn't I ever write
anything as gorgeous as that?

You been slinging too
many drinks, dude.

You got to get out from
behind the motherfucking bar.

Yeah, maybe.

- All right.
- Yo, man, I got to pay you for this.

Come on, you just did.

I got to get back behind
the motherfucking bar now.

- Later, Jimmy.
- Later, Stew.

Have a good show, okay?

Artifacts.

No, we don't do
bachelorette parties.

No food, just booze and music,
ma'am, the essentials.

All right, then.
Yeah, good luck.

Bartender.

- Oh, fuck!
- Can I have a Long Island iced tea, please?

- Mojito for me.
- Planter's punch, pomegranate juice,

freshly-squeezed.

I like what you've done
with the place.

I can see you're putting
a lot of distance

between you and your past.

I was until you walked in.

One Long Island iced tea.

Mojito.

One Planter's punch
with pomegranate juice.

That is not freshly-squeezed.

So how are your fingers
feeling, nimble?

For those two, maybe, not you.

I know I choked, Jimmy,
I panicked, okay, I fucked up,

but I thought I wanted
a more secure life.

You know how many bands I played
in after you broke us up?

21, 20-fucking-1!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

But think of all
the great bands from our era,

that reunited, Soundgarden,
Replacements, Pavement,

Pixies, Archers of Loaf.

- Love the loaf.
- Don't deny yourself this, Jimmy,

don't deny our fans this.

Fans, what fans?

No one gives a shit
about The Incoherents.

Oh, come on,

I bet you, "Irrational Devotion"
is blaring out

of somebody's cassette
player as we speak.

Look, guys, no one's
thought about us since 1995,

- when you quit.
- We really going to let a bunch of dweebs from Brooklyn

with skinny jeans and synthesizers
and cute little beards

- have all the glory?
- Hey!

No offense.

It's time for rock
and roll made by men.

- Middle-aged men.
- So what?

We're supposed to be
driving across Minnesota

in the back of a rickety
old van with no heat

in the middle of winter and eating
stale corn dogs for nutrition,

just to play a gig
in front of 12 people.

Look, I did that for years

and let me give you some
news from the front, buddy,

it blows.

Keith, what's the best
gig we ever played?

Sin-é Café, the night
Jeff Buckley played with us.

I never heard you
sing like that.

Tramps. When the
air-conditioning broke.

That's the guitar you used.

2,000 degrees and they
wouldn't let us off the stage,

they chanted your name, Jimmy.

Who was better than
us that night?

I quit the wedding band.

- No shit.
- Fuck the Macarena.

What about you, Keith,
you quit, too?

And jeopardize my pension?

Hell no.

Five years from being invested.

Pussy.

Come on, man.

Get it off the wall.

♪ These men I chose ♪

♪ Those hazel eyes ♪

♪ Baby, I'm kneeling ♪

♪ I've been crowned ♪

♪ Clear the stalls around me ♪

♪ Help me to my feet ♪

♪ Where's the earth below
Where's the earth below? ♪

♪ Did you know this? ♪

♪ Revival ♪

♪ Revival ♪

♪ See the sky above... ♪

So, are you in or are The
Incoherents now a power trio?

And you're going to play lead?
You realize

that entails you learn more
than one chord, right?

All right, be nice, I'm trying to
break out of a rock and roll purgatory.

Let's get some things
straight first.

This is not and never will be

about your excuse to
get out of the house,

if it is, I'm out.

You will not start acting
like a dictator again.

A dictator?

The Hamiltons used
to call you Stalin.

All right, that's a little harsh,
he killed like 20 million people.

If any one of us
don't like a word,

a riff or a chord change,
it is gone.

If I'm talking to
a pretty, blonde journalist

from Sweden after a gig,
you do not walk up to her

and tell her that
my guitar was puking mud.

I apologized for that.

And if you ever bail
on us again!

Jimmy...

I won't.

You want to go
check out the competition?

I bet you these guys have no idea
Generation X paved the way for them.

You mean, Bad Brains, don't you?

No, not the band, Generation X.

Oh, no, like we gave a shit
about the baby boomers?

Look how psyched
they are up there.

Last gig I ever played
was at Pianos,

three people showed up
including my ex,

who said she was moving to
Montana and I wasn't invited.

We were supposed to bring
in a minimum of ten people,

so we were banned from
ever playing there again.

- I took that as a sign.
- I heard that.

So did everybody,
my reputation never recovered.

- That has to change.
- It will, it will.

- I'm going in!
- Are you nuts?

Oh.

Oh.

- Who you going with?
- Katie.

Katie, Katie with
the torpedoes Katie?

No, Katie with the weapons
of mass destruction Katie,

Katie who wiped me off
the map Katie, you?

- Uh, Carrie.
- Nice.

Yeah, I didn't leave her apartment
for three and a half days,

- just boned and ordered in.
- Yeah, that's the bomb shits

- right there. Mexican?
- No, Indian, something about the spices

give my junk this extra kick. Hey, we should
do a double date with the girls sometime.

Yeah, maybe they be
into doing little swapsies.

Swap room? Yeah, I like that.

Now we're talking.

Okay,
I need bodies Sunday.

John, Paul, Mr. Hyman's coming
in to work on that brief.

Hmm, no can do, George, Paul and I
have, um, a previous engagement.

Not anymore. Bruce?

I kind of have this thing planned
with some old friends of mine.

Vintage Bruce,

I need you, pal.

All right, George,
I'll make it work.

Uh, Grace here will be
playing golf at Bethpage,

it takes months to get
a tee time there,

so she's getting a pass.

Excuse me.

- Mark, yeah, we're all good for Sunday.
- You golf?

Never, but you know how
crazy George is about it,

anytime I need an out,
that's what I say I'm doing.

I'm actually going to
a gallery opening.

Hmm, crafty.

Keep away from those two dumbasses
and stick with me, Bruce.

I'll look out for you
when I'm partner.

All right, gang.

Let's do this!

It's work, man,
my hands are tied.

Bruce, this better
not be a trap.

Relax, Jimmy, I'm definitely
going to be there this week.

All right, got to go.

Do I really have to go to this?
I have nothing to say to these people.

Well, I promised Polly we'd all be
there, we don't have to stay long.

Hey, just send me the signal,
I'll come save you.

All right, ear tug
or pick my teeth?

Ear tug.

Whatever you do, you don't
let your man define you,

I did that for 15 years
and now where am I?

I'm a single mom, semi wrinkled,

hoping some loser
swipes right on Tinder,

so maybe I can get laid
every once in a while.

Oh.

You know what I'm calling
this season?

Season of short game.

You know what they say,
drive for show, putt for dough.

What if the whole golf course was
a bunker? You'd be making a ton of money.

There are worst places
to be than the beach.

And meanwhile,

he's in Hawaii surfing
with some 24-year old.

That gym butt is not
going to last forever,

I mean, you can't fight gravity,
right? I mean, look at us.

Those big tight tits are
going to sag eventually.

Myrtle Beach, the whole week,

no wife, no kids, just me
out on the course schmoozing.

whole thing on the company dime.

I've been living the dream, guys.

Bruce, you want me to
get you a toothpick?

Oh, no, it's...
I got a little burger.

Oh, that's my wife,
I'll be right back.

Hey, Bruce, foursome,
think about it.

Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, we'll talk.

What took you so long?, I was
about to start manhandling.

Listen, I've been thinking about it,
I want to get back into graphic design.

I need to go back to work, and plus
we could use the extra money, right?

- You're still interested in that?
- Yeah.

I haven't seen you graphic
design anything in forever.

What are you talking about?
I do the Christmas card every year,

I use the full range
of my skills for that.

- No, that's not that complicated.
- All right, you do it.

- All right, I take that back.
- Listen, this is important to me

and now that you have the band, I need equal
time to get my career off the ground, deal?

Deal, can we split now?

Oh, God, yes.

- All right, let's get the kids.
- Yeah.

You ever get nervous being down
here by yourself, Mrs. Graham?

- No, I'm not fragile like you.
- How are the bands that rehearse here?

Terrible, if I wanted to listen
to yelling and screaming,

I would've lived with my parents
the rest of my life.

I like opera, I like classical.
I like to be soothed.

- You're late.
- You're early.

It's called focus, kid.

Here it is, 30 an hour,

get out by midnight or you're
locked in till morning.

That's a nice rug, Persian?

Target. Some junkie singer
relieved himself mid screech,

couldn't get the stain out.

You ever smell the excrement
of a heroin addict?

Twice.

Good luck. Maybe some day I can
say, "I knew you when?"

This is the best we could do,
huh? Fucking rat trap.

How about we spend a little
money on an upgrade, guys?

Mm-mm, I'm a public servant,
minimal disposable income.

Smell that air,

stale, dank, sweaty.

It's perfect.

♪ My city was pretty ♪

♪ When it was gritty
the rubble was no trouble ♪

♪ Grime and crime of the time ♪

♪ All trash, no cash ♪

♪ Fell into potholes
stepped over half-dead souls ♪

♪ Made beauty out of
crumbling liars ♪

♪ You forgot about
the gunshots ♪

♪ Putting holes in
the uptown bus ♪

♪ It was strictly
downtown for us ♪

♪ The nights turned
into the days ♪

♪ Getting lost in
the concrete maze ♪

♪ If it were only
always this good ♪

♪ Our playground
couldn't last forever ♪

♪ Just like the toxins
in the river ♪

That looks great. I love it.

Shit!

We need to start this
thing off with some pizzazz.

We should've busted
out the gange.

Shit. Shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit!

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

- Hey, Liz, is he going to make it?
- I don't know,

he barely slept last night.

This is how he was before
the Wetland show,

when the New York Times
came to review us.

- I know how that went.
- Shit, shit, shit!

Hey, baby, got to relax.

- Okay.
- Got to breathe.

I will, I will.

Hey, can we, can we
change the set list?

I want to start
with "Pigs" instead.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
don't mess with me like that.

I spent all day thinking
"Arrive" was the first song.

"Pigs" has more energy,
it'll grab the audience.

- Dude, there's six people here.
- Four.

Hey, welcome back, Jimmy,

- it's about time.
- Jeremy, yes, it is.

I hope these guys are
better than that last band you had.

- Anyway, you're up.
- Thanks, man.

- We'll be right there.
- I think "Pigs" is the way to go.

Hey, I'm good.

"Pigs," "Arrive," "Free Bird,"
makes no difference.

All right, "Pigs" has
less notes, I can do it.

Yes, you can!

- All right, let's rock.
- Let's go.

Hello, New York City.

We've waited
a long time for this.

- The Incoherents are back, here we go.
- Woo!

Thank you, thank you, thank you,
we've waited a long time, here we go,

we're The Incoherents,
here we go, ready?

♪ Basement of chugs ♪

♪ Those hazel eyes ♪

♪ Baby, I'm kneeling ♪

♪ I've been crowned ♪

♪ Clear the stars around me ♪

♪ Help me to my feet ♪

- You're playing the wrong song!
- You're playing the wrong song!

You said "Pigs,"
you're playing "Arrive!"

Oh, fuck!

- Revenge is a bitch, yo!
- You're a bitch, yo!

I hope he fucks you better
than he plays, honey.

Hey, children,
pipe down out there!

All right, all right, right, right.
Take two, just give us take two.

- Just take two, hold on a sec.
- Get off the stage!

- Hey!
- All right, come on, come on, come on, come on, here we go.

- We got this.
- Let's just do it,

- let's just do it again.
- We got this.

♪ The slop in the trough ♪

♪ Splashes the ground ♪

♪ Scraps for the bugs ♪

♪ Beetles and hounds ♪

♪ Big bellies of pigs ♪

♪ Can never be full ♪

♪ Devour, devour ♪

♪ Keep chasing the bull ♪

♪ Dogs herd the sheep ♪

♪ Sheep get in line ♪

♪ Pay some respect ♪

♪ Bow to the swine ♪

♪ Big bellies of pigs ♪

♪ Can never be full ♪

♪ Devour, devour ♪

♪ Keep chasing the bull ♪

♪ There's grist in the mill ♪

♪ Fields full of crops ♪

♪ Open up the gates ♪

♪ Too bad, it's locked ♪

♪ Ox pull the tail ♪

♪ Working up a thirst ♪

♪ Wait their turn ♪

♪ Pigs drink first ♪

♪ Big bellies of pigs ♪

♪ Can never be full ♪

♪ Devour, devour ♪

♪ Keep chasing the bull ♪

Yeah!

New York City,
we are Sex In Hi-Def.

This song goes out to those
dinosaurs of rock and roll,

that just left the stage.

You guys might want to turn
down your hearing aids.

♪ I don't miss you ♪

♪ I don't feel you ♪

♪ Even when I'm far away ♪

♪ You don't believe me ♪

♪ I don't believe you ♪

♪ When you say you
feel the same ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Then it's back to work ♪

♪ But I never could
forget to say ♪

♪ I'll take it all away
and make it right ♪

♪ Wonder if you feel it too ♪

Be honest,
how embarrassed were you?

Not at all!

Oh, bullshit.

What? I swear, look, no one
there knew I was your wife.

For all they knew
I was some random cougar

out hunting for fresh meat.

You know, if I knocked
you up in college,

we would have kids as old
as that band, Sex In Hi-Def.

No, there had to be
a better way to put that.

Jimmy was
right, nobody cares.

Oh, what a poor little legion,

you couldn't get
your standing ovation.

- Stop!
- So sad!

Well, why did you get
back into this?

What, so people would
ask for your autograph?

- No.
- So why?

- To play.
- So play.

Don't worry about
expectations, just enjoy it.

Now, come to bed,
your groupie awaits.

Ow, ow, watch my back,
watch my back.

I thought
you liked that.

No, I just, I got a lot of
pressure on my spine,

I didn't get to
the chiropractor this week.

You still going?

My insurance only covers
50% of that.

It's the only thing that helps.

That adds
up after a while.

Oh, would you rather
I be in constant pain?

All right, I tell you what,
I'll get on my back, all right?

- Okay.
- All right, there will be a lot less pressure on your spine.

Okay.

- You get on top of me.
- Okay.

And then you can just,
you know, put it in.

All right, I'm not
going to just put it in.

- Are you more comfortable?
- Mm, yeah, mm, yeah. Mm.

Mm. Shh.

How about a nice...

...deep,

passionate.

- Mm.
- Oh, yes.

Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.

What?

Did you have garlic today?

- For lunch.
- I can still taste it.

I brushed my teeth like
twice since then.

Can you use mouthwash
or something?

You know garlic is
my kryptonite.

God. I'm trying here,
Bruce.

How long has it been?

Like your breath is
always the freshest.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You know how I am
after a bad gig.

Too in my head, I can't, I can't
lose myself in the moment.

♪ Together ♪

Your groupie awaits.

It wasn't all bad.

It wasn't good.

Not exactly the rock star
moment I was dreaming of.

At least Liz is still
into it, that's something.

I'm sure your night turned
out just fine.

You know, maybe it
was the venue,

you know, those really
aren't our people.

Yeah, right, the venue.

Is there like a refresher
course we can take

- on how to do this again?
- What do you mean, like Continuing Rock ed?

We need help.

That one gig at Under Acme,
it was transcendent,

it was raucous,
polished at the same time.

I was dope on
the skins that night.

Yeah, until Jimmy got involved

in the company of
second-rate hacks,

what was the name of that
one band I caught you with?

Uh, Maelstrom, Blue Horizon,

- Candy Store?
- Nah-uh.

Let's see, uh, Creature Feature,
Johnny and the Toiletries.

No, come on!

All right, Black Stool?

Uh, Grundle Butter.

Keep going!

- Uh, Chalkboard Nails.
- That's the one!

- The name was fitting.
- Yeah.

Our one and only gig,
the world was spared.

Yeah, the pickings were
slim in those days,

that's when I went to
London with Pike.

Unfortunately the booze
overwhelmed the talent,

so it was off to Berlin
with this Kraftwerk

meets Ramones mash up,
Eat Bleep I dub shit.

- Eat Behind.
- That's the one!

The crowds went bonkers
over those guys.

Anyway, one night, the
Sashimies opened up for them.

The Japanese chicks?

I fell in love with
the guitar player

and I moved to Tokyo.

They were dynamite!

I could've made them into
the Go-Go's of Japan.

That's kind of my life.

So what happened?

I was caught in the sack
with the bass player,

I was going to make
her the wifey

and I don't know the fuck why.

I'm a sucker for the.

That's how I was booted
out of the country,

ruined the band,
ruined my career and here I am.

I think I just might be doomed.

Jules, raucous and polished.

Transcendent.

Dope.

Makes perfect sense.

- Who's got a drink?
- There's some wheat grass in my backpack.

I guess rock and roll
does really forget.

All right, come on, let's strap
them on, let's see what you got.

♪ The wind whipped
the sand into our faces ♪

♪ They left red marks
on our cheeks ♪

♪ You always loved those
winter strolls ♪

♪ Up and down the beach ♪

♪ The cold was more
than I could handle ♪

♪ You wore it much
better than me ♪

♪ I miss those
frozen fingertips ♪

♪ When can we take
that walk again ♪

♪ When can we become
more than a trend ♪

You're working with those
jokers down there?

- Sure am.
- You always did like those lost causes, didn't you?

Well, it's more fun
starting at the bottom.

That way it's more sweet
when you get to the top.

Mm,

that's good shit, Beam?

Makers.

God bless bourbon.

Would you like to watch,
Mrs. Graham?

Not a fucking chance.

Always a pleasure, Jules.

Sucker.

- About those new demos you sent me...
- Yeah.

...stop watching the Disney
Channel when you're writing lyrics

- I was just experimenting.
- Yeah, but we're not trying to win over 4th graders.

Gentlemen, I think
we can all agree

that that last gig wasn't
exactly live album material.

Having said that, you don't
take all this time off,

right out of the gate
expect to play stadiums.

Bruce, I don't care
what you have to do,

smoke a joint, pop some
Valium, do some jumping jacks,

but you have got to loosen up!

The audience can
smell that shit.

Front man has to own the stage,

if you can't, we're fucked!

- Got it.
- Jimmy.

- Yeah.
- When's the last time you had carnal relations with a woman?

Uh, fairly recently.

You played that thing like
a nun at Sunday school.

I want to hear your loins
screaming out of that guitar,

let the ladies know
you're open for business.

- Mr. Bass Player.
- Go easy on me.

When everybody else
is on the chorus,

it's time to move
on from the verse.

Chrissie and I locked
eyes on each other

and I lost my train of thought.

We have a really intense
connection.

When you're on stage,
you only love your band,

no one else. Tyler!

Well done.

- Word.
- But we don't need a drum fill every down moment.

Oh, there's a lot pent up in
here, I got to get it out.

- Cut it in half, less is more.
- No, it's not.

I got us a gig at the Barn,
nail that one, a couple more,

we'll talk about getting
ourselves some gigs out of town

and the Vantasy is always
at your service, of course.

- What's that?
- My ride, it's great for lugging gear.

All right, let me hear
"Here Comes the Bitter,"

from the top with chutzpah!

Tyler, count it off.

One, two, three, four.

So, George, I think
doc review is going to to be

- finished up in about a week.
- Mm-hmm.

- And then we can proceed...
- Good morning.

Bruce?

I didn't know you played golf.

Oh, I've got me lessons,
I start tonight.

That is
just fantastic.

- Bruce, we should play sometime.
- We should.

Bruce, do you know what
the magic hour is?

It's the last stretch
of sun before it sets,

the light at
its most spectacular.

A couple of weeks ago, I'm in the
middle of the fairway on the 18th hole,

about 170 yards out.

I need to lay up in one,
to put in position for birdie

and make par for the round.

Grace, what iron would
you use that distance?

Um, the five?

I grabbed the six,
stepped to the ball

and thwack!

It lands five feet from the cup.

Walking to the green
after that shot

and soaking in the radiant
sky before me,

you know what I did?

I wept, overwhelmed
by God's beauty,

this game He created,
Heaven on Earth.

- The magic hour.
- I want to share a moment like that with you both.

I was going to ask you
to stay late tonight,

but you've got some more
important work to do.

- Grace, I'll still need you.
- I'm here for you, George.

Did you make the birdie?

What do you think, Bruce?

Ooh, that was close.

Bruce, you'd better
not blow my cover.

Look, what are you really doing?

I'll be there
next time, I promise.

All right, it's just, we're going
to be better tonight, that's all.

Oh, honey, I... I'm
on a roll with the business plan,

I don't want to stop, and plus we
have the book party tomorrow night.

- Oh, wish me luck.
- Just do what The Jules said, you won't need it.

Bye.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- What's in there?
- My guitar.

You're going to walk into a club
with a golf bag on your shoulder?

- Yeah.
- Not with me you're not.

- Christopher.
- James.

Are you trying to get a gig here?
Isn't this place a step down for you?

Jimmy, I have a gig here.

I like playing these
little places,

it's like, you know, helps
you connect with the people.

So you're still stuck playing
"Little Princes," huh?

Well, first of all,
it's "Two Princes"

and it was played on
the radio five million times

and we sold like ten
million copies of it.

You should play your hit
song once in a while.

Oh, I forgot, you don't
have a hit song.

You know, you should've played rhythm guitar
with us when you had the chance, man.

I play lead guitar.

Is that Chris Baron
from the Spin Doctors?

What song are we opening
up with tonight?

- "Here Comes the Bitter."
- Perfect!

♪ Here comes the bitter ♪

♪ Another creeping winter ♪

♪ Surrounds the buildings
of youth ♪

♪ We trudge through the muck ♪

♪ The smell of a garbage truck ♪

♪ Wafting up chapped noses ♪

♪ Off to the train ♪

♪ Full of people in vain ♪

♪ Trying to reach their
destination ♪

♪ On the one-track lane ♪

♪ The reminders are vain ♪

♪ They might not
be good enough ♪

♪ Enter the room like
a push of a broom ♪

♪ Shuffle along ♪

♪ Lay it all bare for
the two people who care ♪

Stripped down, completely naked.

By the end of the night,
he's still just holding a cup.

Thanks so much for coming, I got to go.
I really appreciate it.

I'll let you know about
the next show, all right?

- Okay.
- Thank you, thank you.

Jimmy, Jimmy!

I'm out, I got to go,
I got to get out of here.

Hold on.

Quiet, everyone!

I've got something
I want to say.

He doesn't remember...

but on this day in 1990...

I met this guy over here...

Bruce Flansburgh.

He played guitar... sort of.

And I played guitar.

Sort of.

And together...
with the, uh, rhythm section,

known as the Hamilton brothers.

All right, all right, yeah.

We started a band.

Now, a few years later...

just as we started
hitting our stride...

Bruce quit on us.

Quitter, quitter!

Ho, ho, ho!

I know, I know, I know, I know.

Look, I thought the same thing.

Well, recently, Bruce
realized the error of his ways.

And somehow, somehow

he convinced us to reunite.

Yeah!

And tonight, for the first
time in many, many years...

we played one
hell of a rock and roll show!

And Goddamn did it feel good!

Yeah!

So, so...

that said...

I'd like to, uh,
propose a toast...

to my old friend.

Reformed quitter.

Suburban Dad.

And lead singer
of the musical force

known as The Incoherents!

Yeah!

Happy anniversary, man.

Happy anniversary, Jimmy.

Bruce!

Bruce, Bruce,
Bruce, Bruce!

Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, Bruce!

Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, Bruce!

Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, Bruce!

Bruce, Bruce,
Bruce, Bruce, Bruce!

Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, Bruce....

Liz, Liz, wake up.

- What, what is it, the raccoons?
- Wake up, wake up, wake up!

No, no.

Everything's great,
we killed it.

Oh, that's so good.

Oh, that's...
So, I'm sorry I missed it.

I don't think I can
sleep, I'm all jacked up.

Oh, I can't, you tell me
all about it in the morning.

Wait, wait, wait, wait,
Wait a sec, wait a sec.

And I had roasted
garlic for dinner.

Mm, yeah.

What are you going to
to say, motherfuckers?

Woo!

For you.

For you.

- Good morning.
- Oh, hi.

How you feeling?

Oh, I'm feeling good.

Oh, thank you very...

Muah! That's the way
to start the morning.

You're Jimmy Anthony,

and you have the same
clothes on as last night.

How do you know that?

I saw The Incoherents gig,
great show.

The new song sounded
as good as the old stuff.

- You have a minute to talk?
- Uh, yeah, sure. A real fan?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

So how do you know
the old stuff?

I have the Irrational
Devotion album.

Your guitar's been blaring
through my speakers for years.

- How'd you get it?
- My record store had it when I was a teenager.

- Where?
- Boston.

- Newbury Comics.
- The one and only.

Can I ask you why you bought it?

I liked the name.

And it was only 50 cents
marked down from 99.

- Sorry.
- Right, you could've left that part out.

Hey, that was
the best bargain of my life.

I wore that tape
out in high school.

I voted for "Arrive"
to be our prom theme song.

What won?

♪ Who let the dogs out, who ♪

Ouch.

Ah, the wrestling team
stuffed the ballot box,

I boycotted and saw
Guided by Voices

at the Middle East instead.

- GBV, nice.
- Mm-hmm.

- A woman after my own heart.
- Hmm.

Weren't you the little hipster?

Well, I book bands there now.

- At Middle East?
- Mm-hmm.

- Cool.
- There's a 9:00 p.m. slot

that opened up in a couple
of weeks, you want the gig?

Uh, yeah, definitely.

The band after you
has a big local following,

- so it should be packed.
- We like packed.

I also want to
interview you guys for my blog,

- Boston Rock Chick Picks.
- Anybody read it?

- Sorry.
- Mm, 4,700 hits a week and growing.

- Whoa!
- Mm-hmm.

Well, don't count
on The Incoherents

to increase your traffic
is all I'm saying.

An indie rock phoenix from
the ashes of New York City

rises to play again?

That's a good story.

Listen, I got to run,

but I'll see you in Boston.

That's the weekend
Gwen's taking me to Chicago.

I thought it was
the weekend after.

Oh, this is what happens
when you don't listen

when I tell you something.

Can't you take
the kids with you?

Can you take them with you?

All right, how about
I pay to change the tickets

- and you can go the next weekend?
- Huh-uh, it's Gwen's book tour

and plus our friend
from Northwestern

is helping with
my business proposal,

it's the only time
she can do it.

If you had just been
there last night,

you would change your mind,
that's how good we were.

Honey, we can't afford
to pay a babysitter

every time you have a gig,

it's like paying $80
to hear my husband play.

Well, this is an important show, we can
start building a fan base in Boston.

Jimmy says this blog is
seen by like 30,000 people,

they'll be reading all about us.

So just tell her to book
you for another weekend.

It takes months to get a
Saturday night slot at that club.

Look, we agreed equal
time, remember?

It's my turn.

Are you almost ready?
I don't want to be late.

She looked at the door,

the door she was always
powerless to open,

the brass knob, a radioactive
element never to be touched.

But this was a different day,

a different year,
a different life.

She grabbed the knob
with the grip of a vice,

adrenaline coursing through every
tendon and muscle in her hand.

She twisted and pulled,
ultraviolet light devoured the room,

her senses soared, she stepped
across the threshold.

She was free.

The prose was so
provocative, spare, but rich,

it had traces of Hemingway
or McCarthy in there.

- Hemingway.
- Joni works with a lot of young male writers

who emulate that style, but infuse it
with way too much masculine bluster.

The world has more than
enough of that these days.

It's quite a breakthrough
for you, bravo.

Well, I couldn't have done it
without my big sister here,

she was an amazing
sounding board.

Whatever I can do to
nurture my sister's art.

It felt very personal.

Yes, always write what you
know, very good advice.

For years, I held my characters
at such a distance

but now I feel closer
to them than ever.

I partially based the character
of Lawrence on Bruce.

- Oh, the office drone.
- A man with a great sense of responsibility. Bruce?

Did you see yourself
in Lawrence?

Uh, you know, I really
haven't any time to...

- Bruce isn't a reader.
- Gwen knows I'm a really huge fan though.

He writes rock songs.

Oh, it's a different
medium, but no less potent.

Liz...

when did you realize
Gwen had this kind of talent?

I mean, even as kids her mind
was so creative, so unique. I...

I always told her,
it's only a matter of time

before the world finds out
what I've always known.

Oh, take away this crisis.

I pine for catharsis.

Come to me, sweet Isis.

Don't care what the price is.

It's a lot of is'.

Why would you invite a bunch
of terrorists to your house?

Not that Isis, the mythical
goddess woman.

We'll ride to the mountaintops,

there we will plant our crops.

You can't plant crops on a
mountaintop, I have to veto these.

I'm writing in the voice
of a character.

Who the fuck wants
to be that guy?

You know who you should
write about, Jimmy.

- Don't even think about it.
- Pushing 50, divorced, serving drunks until 4:00 a.m.

- It's at least a double album.
- Hey.

Okay, gents, we need to confirm on the Middle East.

We'll be opening up with "Sheila
Divine," a Boston favorite.

- Oh, yeah.
- They're already sold out.

And my boy, Eddie Roth, is going
to be throwing us the after-party.

Eddie!

Best soirée in Beantown,
nobody goes home alone.

Jimmy, there's hope for you yet.

I don't think I can do it.

- What?
- No fucking way, Bruce.

You know how long
I've been waiting to play

a Saturday night show in that
town, that's not a wedding?

Liz is supposed to go
away that weekend.

So talk to her,
she'll understand,

I know Liz, she's no Yoko.

Yoko gets a bad rap.

Look, this Debbie woman
could have picked anybody

to play at this show,
but she chose us.

I don't want to let her down.

250-plus people waiting
to be dazzled, Bruce.

Come on, what do you say?

A paralegal seminar?

Yeah, apparently they're going to
be teaching me some new techniques,

that'll keep me on
the cutting edge of paralegals.

- Is that even a thing?
- I guess I'm going to find out.

Did you at least
tell them I have plans?

Of course, they gave me
no wiggle room.

Oh, how can this be happening?

What could they possibly teach
you, you don't already know?

You said a million times a blind
monkey could do your job.

My profession is in danger, Liz, you
know, between outsourcing and technology,

there's less and less
of a need for us.

Well, look, the most skilled
are going to survive,

I got to stay relevant.

Keep eating, guys, come on,
we got to get to school.

Honesty is the foundation
of any relationship,

when you violate that,
the whole equilibrium gets thrown off.

Mom always said the girls
would lead you around

by their short and curlies,
just like your Dad.

He was a gentleman,
Mom never appreciated him.

No backbone, that's why
she left him for my pops.

Well, at least my father's not a
Neanderthal who can't hold down a job.

Can you guys shut up
for a second?

I can't piss with
all that chatter.

Ah!

Jules, you lied to
your wives, right?

No, never.

What caused
problems then?

I never looked at marriage
as a permanent thing,

it's just something to do.

Jimmy, you definitely
kept stuff from your ex.

A ton, but I left other
people out of it,

now we're your accomplices.

This was the only way
I could make this happen.

Now we're on the road, headed to a
gig, kicking it in the Vantasy.

"Lies whispered sweetly
in my ear.

Lies, how do I get out of here?"

The Stones.

- Mick was right.
- This has got to be the worst high conversation

I've ever had. Let's go.

You want me to drive?

I'm choosing
the tunes, guys.

♪ The route's already known
you'll be my pilot ♪

♪ And I'll be smiling
dressed in violet ♪

♪ Where's the earth below
where's the earth below? ♪

♪ Did you move it? ♪

♪ Revival, revival ♪

♪ See the sky above
see the sky above ♪

♪ Did you paint it? ♪

♪ Arrival, arrival ♪

Thank you, Boston!

Once more, once more!

Hey, you guys, you guys
want to hear one more, one more?

Come on, let's do it,
let's do it, let's go, okay.

- Let's play one more.
- What do you want to play?

We played everything
we rehearsed.

- So what? Let's wing it.
- Something easy, like "Devolution."

Jimmy, "Devolution" is just
three chords, right?

- I'm done.
- What do you mean you're done? They're loving us.

I'm going to sleep with them.

- Come on, we got plenty of time!
- Trust me, Bruce.

End on a high note, you'll thank
me later, wrap it up, guys.

Hey, guys, I'd love to play one more,
but our guitar player is not in the mood.

Oh, come on! Boo!

- You suck!
- Whatever, man.

Hey, listen, Boston,
thank you so much,

we'll see you soon,
enjoy Sheila Divine, thank you.

- One song?
- Thank you.

All I'm saying is you made me
look like an ass before.

Give the people what they want.

We're not prepared
to be playing songs

we haven't rehearsed,
I've done that in bands before

- and it always bombed.
- A three-chord song.

- That's three too many.
- Who's being suburban now?

You know, Jack White never knows what
he's going to play next on stage.

You're not Jack White,
you're Bruce Flansburgh.

What do you want from me, man? I've been waiting
for fucking ever for a moment like that,

why couldn't you
just let me have it?

See, right there,
"Let me have it,"

- it's not all about you.
- I meant us, us.

I don't trust you yet, I don't
want to be embarrassed.

Oh, right, your beloved
reputation, I forgot.

You ruined it once before,
that's enough!

Well, Jimmy, if the other
21 bands were so bad,

maybe you were the problem.

Boys, meet the girls.
Girls, meet the boys.

Hey.

- Hey.
- Great show.

- Thanks.
- Ah, Courtney, tell them what you said

- about how I play the drums?
- Like a beast!

Like a beast!

She's making me one.

Hey, everybody.

Look, who it is,
it's the Zimmer Twins!

Jimmy, how are you, son?

- A shot of whiskey for you, Jim?
- Um...

It's mandatory upon entry, son.

Yeah, thanks, Eddie,
but I'm good.

Oh, you're good?

Hey, everybody, he's good,

lead guitarist says
he doesn't want whiskey.

What the fuck is wrong
with this picture, huh?

Ooh, how about you, lead singer?

A little holy water
for the cause?

Oh, cleanse my soul, Father.

- Bless you, my son.
- Cleanse my soul.

Knock it down you,
there's a good boy.

Woo! what else you got?
Oh, I got a lot.

- I'm all mouths and ears.
- I got everything back here.

Singer and guitar player at odds,
that's never happened before.

Yeah, testosterone's
a bitch, ain't it?

When am I going to
get that interview?

- How about now?
- Great.

Someplace else.

Yeah.

We were right on the verge, more and
more people were coming to our shows,

other bands were asking
us to tour with them,

labels were sending
their reps to our gigs.

- But Bruce?
- He shrank.

All he could think about were
those bands that got deals,

that were dropped
after one album.

That and you know,
the old rocker at the club,

who's broke and strung out,
hanging on to a dream,

even though he knew
that there was no chance.

- That would scare me.
- You know what the worst thing a musician can have is?

- Hmm?
- A back-up plan, Bruce had one.

He made a decision that
fucked the rest of us.

- Then why agree to this?
- Because...

he's the person that
I write the best songs with.

I tried to live my life without
it, but I just, I can't.

I guess you could say that The
Incoherents are an incurable addiction.

I have similar issues.

This is the 63rd night in
a row I've gone to see a band.

Okay, that's just inhumane.

It's for the blog,
I review a show every night,

- that's my catch.
- I don't know how you do it.

I mean, I've seen enough crummy
bands to last a lifetime,

I played in a few myself, too.

I'm still hoping to get
my socks knocked off.

Come on, you really think
that you're going to find

- the next Beatles at the Cavern Club?
- I might.

I don't know, I feel like
those days are long gone,

it's a, it's a myth.

Cynicism will get you nowhere,

it's no myth and you know it.

Should we start the interview?

I thought that was
the interview.

No, that's me and you having
a conversation.

Oh, shit!

- I'm fine.
- Dude.

- Oops.
- I can't take you anywhere. She's good.

♪ I'll see her in
the land of shame maybe ♪

♪ Who's groping to make
the claim, jump out, yeah ♪

♪ As I fade into black
then fade into being ♪

♪ My woman from So Cal, yo ♪

♪ I can't rely trouble below ♪

♪ Below ♪

♪ I might roll into me and you ♪

♪ I might roll into me and you ♪

♪ I might roll into me and you ♪

♪ I might roll in ♪

- Hello.
- Liz?

- Uh, this is George Watts.
- Oh, hi, George.

I want your husband
to come play golf today with me,

but he's not answering his cell.

My regular partner
had to cancel,

his hernia is in overdrive.

Well, he's at the seminar,
George, remember?

What seminar?

The para...

Hello, Liz?

The, uh,
parachuting seminar, George,

he's, uh, thinking of
learning how to skydive,

I thought he might have
mentioned it to you.

Skydiving, is he
trying to get himself killed?

He might be.

Well, I'd love to
get him on the link soon,

with those lessons you bought him,
he must be Tiger Woods by now,

without the adultery, of course.

The golf lessons, right.

By all means,
I'm sure he'd love it.

And tell him to
stop jumping out of planes,

- that's for idiots.
- I certainly will.

Four?

Wow, you look like garbage, you
paralegals really know how to whoop it up.

- Yeah, it was a lot wilder...
- Yeah, I swear to God, Bruce, if you keep lying to me,

I'm going to scream at
the top of my fucking lungs!

- What are you talking about?
- Bruce!

- Can I explain?
- No, no, let me explain.

I cook the food,
I, I pay the bills,

I clean the house,
I take care of the kids

and about a million other things
that you take for granted,

and all I want is one
fucking measly weekend

to get my career going,
but you won't have it,

because my sister beat
you to the spotlight!

- Does that sound about right?
- This was an important gig, okay?

- It doesn't come around very...
- You lied to me!

What did you want, did you want the truth?
Okay, here's the truth.

Hey, Liz, uh, my gig
is a lot more important

than your three patient
pulls on a computer

about a business you have no
idea is going to take off!

- Oh, my God!
- That one went over really well.

Thank you for your
vote of confidence.

Like I got one from you.

- What? I let you do this!
- You let me?

Ah, you know what?
I know I don't read books

and I only play rock songs,
but I don't need your permission!

Is that what this is about,
my sister's book party?

What a fucking child you are!

You were slobbering all over her

like she was God's
gift to literature.

Oh, it was her night!

You never talked about
music like that.

My God!

Do you know how many of your
gigs I fucking sat through?

- Okay, I'm...
- What did you tell me?

What did you tell me when I told
you I wanted to quit the band?

No, no, you cannot
put that on me,

we both wanted to have kids,
we wanted to have a house,

we both agreed it
would be hard...

You told me
it wasn't a sure thing.

And it wasn't, I still
didn't tell you to quit!

But when Gwen wanted to quit
writing, what did you tell her?

- Don't.
- Because you thought she had a better shot!

- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.

Well, now I think my shot
is better than yours.

You know what, Bruce, if, uh,

if the road is
where you want to be,

maybe you should stay there.

♪ Say you want to know me ♪

♪ Well, I'm not that sure ♪

Uh-oh, you look beat.

Is this what I have to look
forward to when I get older?

I think it's just me.

Hmm, must be all those,
uh, golf lessons.

Yeah, yeah, something like that.

Hey, are you going to
invite me to a show soon?

- I'll let you know.
- Mom's the word.

Bruce, you look like shit.

Jesus Christ, Bruce,
your wife throw you out?

Bruce, a quick question,
when you're chipping,

what is it, you use
a 3 wood, right?

- That's right, 3 wood.
- Oh, you don't use a wood to chip,

you use a pitching wedge.

- Some of us do.
- I knew it!

- Uh-huh.
- You don't golf. This whole thing is a front.

- Keep it down.
- Listen, you and Grace have been bailing

- with all this bullshit.
- It's a woman, right?

Makes perfect sense, it's well-documented,
that married people don't have sex.

Listen, you got a side dish,
it doesn't make you a bad person.

Your secret's safe with us, but we're
going to need a little quid pro quo.

Fine, fine, anything.

Katie and Carrie want to
take us out to a happy hour,

but George has stuck us
with these site checks.

Which, frankly feels a little
bit like paralegal work.

Fork them over.

- Is that her?
- Ooh.

It's a him.

It's a dude?

Devil's three-way.

- What's up, Tyler?
- Remember Courtney from Boston?

- She fell off the bar stool?
- Yeah, yeah.

Her cousin, Jerry Evans, is
a promoter for Governors Ball.

The Jerry Evans from
Vicious Circle Records?

Exactly, Jerry wants another
local act on the bill,

so five bands are auditioning
for the slot

at Maxwell's, Friday night.

Courtney starts talking us up,
saying that we're the shit,

so guess who the sixth band is?

- This Friday?
- We're on at midnight.

We got to rehearse,
we got to rehearse.

- Jules already booked the space.
- Fuck, fuck, I'm shaking!

We are taking this
thing down, Bruce, late.

Oh, come on, Liz, Liz.

- Can I see the kids?
- No!

- Why not?
- Because I told them you're on

a business trip
and it'll confuse them.

Well, how long did you
say I'd be gone for?

A couple of weeks, maybe longer.

- Where are you staying?
- A hostel, it's cheap.

You always did like those
European chicks

that don't shave their pits.

- I filed incorporation papers today, by the way.
- Oh, you did?

- Yeah.
- That's great, congrats.

I have to start
supporting myself.

You ever heard of
Governors Ball?

- No.
- It's only the biggest music festival in the city,

everybody who is anybody
has ever played there,

and we might too.

How'd that happen?

We have people looking
out for us who believe.

I never said I didn't.

We're going to be playing in
front of thousands of people,

might even get on
the whole festival circuit,

there's a lot of money in that.

That's great for you guys.

- That's all you have to say?
- What do you want me to say?

- How about you're happy for me?
- I hope it works out for you, Bruce.

Okay, yeah, tell the kids
I'll call them tomorrow.

Yeah, gotcha.

Hey, sourpuss, you owe me money.

- I'll get you on the way out.
- I'm not going to be here, Bob.

- Bruce.
- Whatever.

Come on, pay up.

So how long you guys going
to keep playing make believe?

Not that I have
any problem taking your money.

This is far from fantasy,
Mrs. Graham.

Oh, please, spare me, maestro.

What, do you think
the Earth will stop spinning

if we don't hear one of your
three-chord masterpieces?

There is a whole audience out
there waiting to discover us.

Who, you got any names,
maybe some descriptions?

You'll see.

What is wrong with you men?

Always thinking
you need to leave a mark

like a dog pissing on a wall.

The happiest day of
my life was when I realized

we're all insignificant
pieces of dust,

floating aimlessly, waiting
for a comfortable landing spot,

mine's the beach...

needlepoint, Ludwig van
on the headphones,

a cigarette in my mouth,

and a water bottle
full of screwdriver.

This is your spot!

Enjoy it.

Thank you.

I'm just letting you guys know
we are walking out of Maxwell's

- on the bill of Governors Ball.
- That's the spirit.

We've got a one in six chance,
not the best odds.

- Don't be a party-pooper, man.
- I'm just being realistic.

Here's an idea, Jimmy,
be positive,

instead of focusing on all the
things you don't think we can do.

I guess I'm just channeling
you from 20 years ago.

Oh, jeez, when does the statute of
limitations run that out on being a crime?

- When you can play a solo, so never!
- Don't fucking touch me!

Goddamn, you always
are a pain in the ass!

Now listen up, gents, the lineup
on Friday is as follows,

we got Blue Iguana, Pen Pal,
Fiona Silver, The Emanons

and our old dickhead buddy,
Sex In Hi-Def.

- Turds.
- Obviously younger, they're prettier,

and undoubtedly they have
a much wider fan base,

so Jimmy was right, this is
going to be an uphill battle.

So my suggestion is this,
nothing mid-tempo,

everything hard,
fast, relentless,

leave it all on the field.

Now, give me
"Cosmopolitan Sheen."

Take it from the top,
count it off, T Baby!

- Let it swing!
- One, two, three.

Oh, hey, George.

I need you to strap it on
tonight, could be a long one.

- What?
- Strategy meeting on the Hyman case,

we need to come at it from
an entirely different angle.

Oh, uh, George, I had those
golf lessons again, remember?

No get-out-of-jail-free
card tonight, Bruce,

Flatiron conference
room at 5:30.

Let's do this.

♪ I don't miss you ♪

♪ I don't feel you ♪

♪ Even when I'm far away ♪

♪ You don't believe me ♪

♪ I don't believe you ♪

♪ When you say you
feel the same ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

I hated this fucking
song the first time I heard it.

No cigarettes at
a rock and roll show.

- A cruel world we live in.
- At least my clothes still smell nice.

Now do something about
that kale smoothie breath.

When did our singer say
he was getting here?

He didn't.

♪ I'll take it all
the way and make it right ♪

♪ And I don't miss you ♪

♪ And I don't feel you ♪

♪ Even when I'm far away ♪

I need to smoke.

♪ It'll never be the same
as it was before, yeah ♪

♪ Wonder if you feel it too ♪

♪ Then it's back to work ♪

Why isn't
this making any sense?

George, it's 11 o'clock and
there's no deadline on this,

maybe it's best if
we just call it a night,

- start fresh on Monday.
- No can do, Grace,

I don't want this lingering
over my head the whole weekend.

We'll order some food for thought.

Let's take a break, everybody.

- All right, what do you guys want to eat?
- Nothing green.

- Something healthy.
- Anything.

No, no, no, let's be...

Are you a child?

I'm coming.

George.

George.

George!

I'm leaving.

Excuse me?

George, I sing and play guitar
in a rock and roll band.

In about an hour, I've got a gig and it could
potentially change the course of my life

and erase years of regret. No, I've been
sitting here for five and a half hours

and I've had no impact on anything
going on, so I'm going to go.

- Sorry, everybody.
- Bruce, nobody leaves until I say.

I have to, George,
it's the magic hour.

You don't really play
golf, do you?

I hate golf, George.

The guy's got balls, brass ones.

Monster sack.

Here's a flier for the show,
in case anyone wants to come.

Bye!

Did anybody know about this?

♪ I can see the smoking gun ♪

♪ I can hear
the screaming come ♪

♪ I can feel the ringing hum ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I can see ♪

Excuse me.

- Don't let me down again, man.
- Finally a singer I can relate to.

Hey, thanks.

♪ Did it get you high? ♪

So where is Courtney?

She and Tyler are getting
reacquainted.

♪ Did it get you high? ♪

♪ I can see the smoking gun ♪

♪ Did it get you high
Did it get you high? ♪

♪ I can see the smoking... ♪

Yeah.

Yeah, the promoter
of Governors Ball,

Jerry Evans was here to see us.

Yeah. I love you, too, Mom.

- She's good.
- Thank you, Maxwell's.

Stick around for
the, uh, Intangibles?

Inconceivables?

The Incontinence?

I have no idea, but I do
know this is Fiona Silver.

Hope to see you
at Governors Ball!

No respect.

We're up next.

Maybe after, we can get
back to that interview?

Yeah, I think I can,
uh, squeeze you in.

Nervous?

- Jimmy!
- Not anymore.

Wait for me. Where the fuck
have you been, man?

Ladies and gentlemen,

up next is the last band
to vie for a spot

on stage at Governors Ball,
The Incoherents.

Incoherents, 60 seconds
to show time, 60 seconds.

All right, okay.

Hey, Incoherents, I'm pretty sure your
bass player's going to have a heart attack.

Hey, Keith, what's wrong?

- I forgot my picks.
- So use one of mine.

I can't, man, they're too thin,
there's not enough fatness

in the sound, the down-strokes
sound like shit!

- Play with your fingers.
- I can't, I'm not funky like that.

Hey, Keith, get it together.

If I have to go back to
playing Electric Slide,

I will rip your
fucking heart out!

Okay, Inconsiderates,
it's show time.

Hey, dude, can my bass player

borrow one of your
bass player's picks?

Sorry, man, he doesn't use one,
he's funky like that.

Thanks a lot.

Yeah, here we are now,
entertain us.

We will.

We got to start. Keith, come on.
We look like idiots up here!

- Come on!
- Keith!

Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.

- Chrissie?
- Oh! Sorry.

- I love you.
- I love you even more.

Time to get
this party started.

Let's go, we got to start,
come on.

- We ready?
- Yeah.

Keith, let's go.

Hey, everybody.

From what I understand, the band before
us couldn't get our name quite right.

We are not The Intangibles,
we are not The Inconceivables

and we sure as hell
ain't the Incontinence.

We are the Incoherents,
here we go.

♪ My city was pretty ♪

♪ When it was gritty
a little rubble was no trouble ♪

♪ Grime and crime of the time ♪

♪ All trash, no cash ♪

♪ Fell into potholes
stepped over half-dead souls ♪

♪ Made beauty out of
crumbling liars ♪

♪ And forgot about
the gunshots ♪

♪ Putting holes in
the uptown bus ♪

♪ It was strictly
downtown for us ♪

♪ The nights turned
into the days ♪

♪ Getting lost in
the concrete maze ♪

♪ If it were only
always this good ♪

♪ When the chaos
burned like wood ♪

♪ Our playground couldn't
last forever ♪

♪ Just like the toxins
in the river ♪

♪ All that's bad is all we had ♪

♪ Replaced by pretend fads ♪

♪ A big box strip maxi mall ♪

♪ Rome wasn't supposed to fall ♪

♪ Say hello to the older class ♪

♪ Limousines
and champagne glass ♪

♪ In a city scrubbed
bright and clean ♪

♪ The cosmopolitan sheen ♪

♪ If it were only
always this good ♪

♪ When the chaos
burned like wood ♪

♪ Our playground couldn't
last forever ♪

♪ Just like the toxins
in the river ♪

♪ No more needles in the parks ♪

♪ We're all undercover narcs ♪

♪ Builders, pillars
turned into pawns ♪

♪ Look around here
they're all gone ♪

♪ Gone ♪

♪ Gone ♪

♪ Gone ♪

♪ It's not what it used to be ♪

♪ Some days we'd rather flee ♪

♪ Where else are
we going to go ♪

♪ It's the only place
that we know ♪

Thank you!

- Bruce!
- Yeah.

Oh, my God,
what a set, that was great!

- Thanks, man.
- I haven't seen you guys, since you opened

- for Bongos.
- Oh my God, that was a long time ago.

- And your drummer's still a fucking animal.
- He is, I know, he is.

- Great set, man.
- Hey, good to see you.

- Great to see you, too.
- Thanks for coming.

- All right, bye-bye.
- Take it easy. Thanks.

You guys were so awesome!

We tried,
we been trying.

This guy, he gave me
this card for you guys.

Jerry Evans wants to
talk to you guys.

♪ We getting popping
we do this every day ♪

♪ So sick of counting
my blessings ♪

♪ So let me count
off this prayer ♪

♪ I'm talking all of my people ♪

♪ I'm talking
all of my friends ♪

♪ I'm talking
all of the haters ♪

♪ Just trying to take it away ♪

♪ Based down Eastern Island
And they know me, found a way ♪

♪ Spend my days in Cali
now they know me in LA ♪

♪ I'm talking all the way to
Englewood, San Francisco Bay ♪

♪ Grown up to Miami
rolling weed upon the way ♪

♪ And then I fly
out to Jamaica ♪

♪ Mr. Hard down on
the beat, say ♪

♪ Wind your, wind your feet up ♪

♪ Wind your, wind your feet up ♪

They're here, call me back.

Jerry, these are
The Incoherents.

You guys opened for Sabado

at the Knitting Factory
around '94, I think.

Yeah, that's right.

I knew it!

When I was A&R of
Vicious Circle,

you were totally on
our radar screen

and then you disappeared,
what happened?

Uh, we took a hiatus.

You shouldn't have.

Come, sit.

Anyway, you haven't
missed a beat,

I mean, really great,
your songs are great,

the band, it's tight

and you have a presence on
stage, total package up there.

They're pros, Jerry,
they're total pros.

Yeah, Courtney has great
taste, she's never wrong.

So, uh, will we be playing
Governors Ball?

You will not.

Sex In Hi-Def will.

Oh, come on.

Those fucking guys?

They're young, the girls
want to have their babies,

and unlike you guys,
they seem to have fans.

It's a no-brainer, I just,
I added you as a favor to Courtney.

You thought they were the best?

What's your name?

It's Bruce, Bruce Flansburgh.

All right, let me ask you
a question, Bruce Flansburgh,

you guys on Facebook,
Twitter, Instagram?

- No.
- I know, I checked.

Meanwhile, Sex in Hi-Def
has already posted a picture

from tonight and got
1,000 likes and counting.

And those likes and Retweets,
they turn into ticket sales.

You guys on the other hand...

you're ghosts, I mean,
there is no evidence

that The Incoherents even exist.

What about what
we just did on stage?

Okay, and who outside of
this room knows that, hmm?

Wake up, boys, rock and roll
is not the cultural force

it used to be, it's a niche now.

And the kind of music you play
is a niche within a niche.

Nobody sells records anymore,

and 100,000 spins on Spotify?

I mean, that might buy
you a sandwich.

Jules, come on, you got to get
these guys out of the 20th century.

Hey, I'm a dinosaur, Jerry,
all this is new to me.

All right, adapt or die.

We'll fix it.

Hey, listen, go play
a show in Bushwick

on a Monday night for four
people and then post about it,

you know, start from there.

Ah, I got to go to this
party in Tribeca for Bono

with a bunch of industry
stooges.

They're all pretending
they care about saving Africa.

No shortcuts, guys.

Ooh!

Hey, where are you?

Ah, I'm on my way.

Mm-hmm.

He knows I love Africa, come on!

Tell that Irishman
he'd better keep the bar open,

'cause I need a Manhattan
like you won't fucking believe.

Sex In Hi-Def?

The name itself should've
disqualified them.

I got to go back to practicing "I Will Survive,"

fucking fuck!

Di... Disco was never as bad
as they said it was.

Come on, let's go
and drown our sorrows, boys.

Bruce, where are
we going? Your pick!

Hey, Bruce.

- I'm into it.
- I'll give you some guitar lessons sometime.

- Yeah?
- Because your voice is nice.

- Hey, nice set, dude.
- Thanks.

- Congrats on the Ball.
- Thanks.

Hey, man, I'll follow
you on Instagram.

Fuck you, Instagram.

I'm not awake.

Oh, come on,
did you not hear me?

All right!

I'm coming!

You know, Jimmy,
I'm really enjoying

wallowing in self-pity
right now,

so it'd be great
if you weren't here.

Those were closed for a reason.

Ugh!

All right, if you play our album,
I'm going to throw that thing

out the fucking window.

Just shut up, man.

Is this thing on yet?

Just press
record, you dope.

Where is
the dope anyway?

Up my ass!

Tyler, why is
everything always up your ass?

Shh, let me start,
let me start, please.

The front man, Bruce!

The front man, Bruce!

Settle down,
settle down!

All right, it is now Saturday
morning at 3:11 a.m.

on September 26th, 1991,
and we are on beer... 20?

- 40.
- 4,000!

Celebrating
the first gig

of the greatest rock band
ever created, The Incoherents!

- Greatest rock band created.
- Seven people lucky enough to witness this?

- Actually it was like nine.
- Ten, that fat dude

counts for two.

Four, four
of them were girls.

Hey, what's up
with that chick, Liz?

- We're hanging out.
- No, you're not, you're with us.

Wait, she went
home without you?

You idiot! what do you think

the point of even
doing this is for?

I'm going to see her
again, tonight is a band night.

You have no
idea what you're doing.

- I got the tall one's number.
- No way, man!

- I was going to hit on her.
- Lay off the cake stands, my man,

maybe you'll get to
second base someday.

You don't even
know where first is.

- Hey!
- Shh, all right, introduce yourselves.

All right, all right,
let me step up to the mic here, okay.

Hey, everybody, I'm Keith
Hamilton and I play the bass.

I'm a geography major,
which is why I know where the basses are,

and I've been there
at least three times.

- Oh, yeah, at least two times.
- No, once.

Okay, okay.

Tyler Hamilton, drums,

the only instrument
that fucking matters!

- Not!
- The only man in this band...

...that matters.

- Definitely not!
- Come and get it,

- ladies!
- Wa-wah.

- Some things never change.
- The guy's got balls, man.

He always did.

I'm Jimmy
Anthony, lead guitar.

This is a message
for Jimmy Page.

Jimmy, it's Jimmy,

when you're ready for
those guitar lessons,

- you know where to find me.
- oh!

How embarrassing.

Listen up,
front man's talking to you.

I am Bruce Flansburgh.

That is the worst
name for a singer ever.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- The worst, the worst.

The worst, the worst.

I'm here with an
important message. The Incoherents

are coming for you, we are
the future of rock and roll,

we will destroy everything
in our path!

We're going to dominate the planet!

- Yeah!
- And once we get to the top,

I'm going to break up with
these untalented assholes.

You could all reach
over for tickets.

Loser!

What an asshole.

- You like that?
- That was unbelievable.

I can't believe you kept it,
I totally forgot we did that.

- We were young, man.
- Gosh.

Feels like yesterday.

Hey.

- Thanks, man.
- You got it.

Want to hear it again?

- Yeah.
- Then get dressed, we're going for breakfast.

♪ Stop thinking it's okay ♪

♪ Things are going to change ♪

♪ You can't go on
like this again ♪

♪ You can't avoid the day ♪

♪ You're the star that lights ♪

♪ Our way ♪

♪ I heard you singing ♪

♪ Heard you sing you sang ♪

♪ To us ♪

♪ You sang hallelujah ♪

♪ How'd we lose us in ♪

♪ Ourselves ♪

♪ Stop drinking, it's a waste ♪

♪ Things have lost their taste ♪

♪ The light that circled
around your face ♪

♪ Is gone and now replaced ♪

♪ With a darker time ♪

♪ Again ♪

♪ I heard you singing ♪

♪ Heard you sing you sang ♪

♪ To us ♪

♪ You sing hallelujah... ♪

I decided what I want
to call my business...

- Liz Harvey Design.
- Your maiden name?

Flansburgh doesn't really
cut it on the mantle,

plus I need to forge
my own identity.

I've been reading Gwen's book.

It's great.

I can see why
all this is happening for her.

I wish my character
was a little less.

Dark?

Yeah.

I like him though.

You know, Bruce, statistics
say the majority of people

who get married in their
20s end up getting divorced.

The odds are against us,
is that what you want?

No.

No, of course not.

You?

- We have a lot of work to do.
- I know.

I can't fix the past.

You didn't break it.

I saw your show.

- You were there?
- I was in the back, you couldn't see me.

God, I loved it, how can you
think I don't love your music?

I used to sing "Star"
to put the kids to sleep.

You were there?

You guys deserved that gig.

- Damn right, we did.
- You over it?

Nope.

I'm working on it.

That's good.

The world deserves to hear
more of the band I named.

You didn't name the band.

- Yes, I did.
- I came up with that.

Actually, no, don't you
remember in college,

I was studying that,
that French art movement,

Les Arts Incohérents,
or whatever.

The people who made art,
but didn't know what they were doing.

I had that name since
the 8th grade.

No, you didn't, you're
thinking of The Innocents,

you loved it, 'cause it
could be The Innocence

or The Innocents.

- That's my name.
- It's...

I waited for years to
call a band that name.

- I cannot believe you.
- All right, I'll give in to you.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Wow, you made us actually
sound important.

This is the article your legions
of fans have been waiting for.

Legions, where are they again?

They're out there,
they just don't know it yet.

Did you Tweet about
the gig tonight?

I did, hopefully our seven
followers will show up.

Now, link the article
to another Tweet,

get some synergy going.

Okay, I'm new at all this

social networking stuff,
so bear with me.

So we're booked for
the 16th, right?

Just confirmed with Jules,
you are playing with Inventory and Rollo.

And I'm taking you
to dinner before.

I already made reservations.

- Jimmy, two beers, man.
- Yeah, I'll be right there.

- I'll call you tomorrow, okay?
- You'd better.

♪ I'm an insignificant
piece of dust ♪

♪ Floating aimlessly ♪

♪ For a comfortable
landing spot ♪

The Incoherents
aren't unknown,

though not un-young
band from New York City.

A mainstay of the downtown
scene in the early '90s,

they mysteriously disbanded after one
self-released album, "Irrational Devotion,"

an LP brimming with
wit and wisdom,

that bridges the gap between
classic and punk rock.

Let's do it.

Suddenly they have
re-emerged, looking to find their way

through a greatly changed
musical landscape.

This four-man unit with
their salt-and-pepper hair

and creased eye lines,
stands in great contrast

to the fresh-faced exuberants that are
normally on stage at your local rock club.

I recently sat down with
the band to talk about the past,

the future and the merits
of corn dogs.

Here's what they had to say.

Hey, everybody!

We're the Incoherents.

- Tyler, start sound.
- Woo!

♪ I did the time ♪

♪ I wrote the rhyme again ♪

♪ The pool is open
let's take a dive ♪

♪ The place is clean
and I popped the wine ♪

♪ The bed is made ♪

♪ All the bills are paid ♪

♪ Wipe the dust off
the old lampshade ♪

♪ The kids are gone ♪

♪ They're off to school ♪

♪ I just want to drown
in a sweaty pool ♪

♪ And at the moment
we're most alive ♪

♪ The pool is open
let's take a dive ♪

♪ In that moment
we're most alive ♪

♪ The pool is open
let's take a dive ♪

Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org

♪ The wind whipped
the sand into our faces ♪

♪ They left red marks
on our cheeks ♪

♪ You always loved those
winter strolls ♪

♪ Up and down the beach ♪

♪ The cold was more than
I could handle ♪

♪ You wore it much
better than me ♪

♪ I miss those frozen
fingertips ♪

♪ When can we take
that walk again ♪

♪ When can we become
more than a trend ♪

♪ You've got soul
like I've never seen ♪

♪ And I've got a heart
living in the sea ♪

♪ Days under the sunshine
pass before me ♪

♪ Though I never go outside ♪

♪ The light is always
too blinding ♪

♪ It's so much easier
in the house ♪

♪ Looking for some
justification ♪

♪ To face the world
beyond my dorm ♪

♪ I'm just waiting for
your invitation ♪

♪ When can we take
that walk again ♪

♪ When can we become
more than a trend ♪

♪ You've got a soul
like I've never seen ♪

♪ And I've got a heart
living in the sea ♪

♪ I've got a heart
living in the sea ♪

♪ And I've got a heart
living in the sea ♪

♪ I don't miss you ♪

♪ I don't feel you ♪

♪ Even when I'm far away ♪

♪ You don't believe me ♪

♪ I don't believe you ♪

♪ When you say you're
here to stay ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪