Original subtitles

♪ You said good looks were hard to find ♪

♪ But I ain't had no luck with mine ♪

♪ You were ready to depart ♪

♪ And set calamity in my heart ♪

♪ I should've known a mind like yours ♪

♪ That opens wounds and closes doors ♪

♪ Would disappoint me from the start ♪

♪ And set calamity ♪

♪ In my heart ♪

♪ Oh calamity ♪

♪ Oh calamity ♪

♪ Oh calamity in my heart ♪

♪ Oh calamity ♪

♪ Oh calamity ♪

♪ Calamity we're apart ♪♪

- Merry Christmas. - You, too.

[heavy-metal ring tone]

- Tom Sanger.

Dave, how's it going?

Ow. Yeah, no, I'm here now.

I know you think it's a bad idea,

but it's something I gotta do.

Sorry, can you say that again?

- I'm afraid we have to let you go.

You know how it's been. Y-you got the memo,

I take it?

Let's face it, these are becoming a thing of the past,

and all their lovely marketing and design that goes with them.

I used to work in design, you know.

Oversaw the third Gargantuan album in '73.

- Mr Fen...

Kenneth. I've just spent a fortune doing up my flat.

I'm in debt up to the eyeballs.

What am I gonna do now?

Ow!!! [sighing]

[lively music]

♪ This ain't the first and certainly not the last ♪

♪ We know you like the truth And what you got to say ♪

♪ I say it's never other people's choice ♪

♪ When that actions that you're making ♪

♪ Speak in our voice ♪

♪ Like you can end the world from its suffering ♪

♪ Unless you're not against global war ♪

♪ Remember what you're really trying to say ♪

♪ There's oil in them hills ♪

♪ But nah nah nah ♪

♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ I'm not guilty ♪

♪ But I'll tell you ♪

- Bye, Len. It's been beautiful.

♪ It's all lies ♪♪

- Hi, Tom. - Hey, Dave.

- You're off, then? - Yep, I'm out of here.

[indistinct chatter] [Tom groaning]

- No, I haven't spoken to her,

but as I've just been made redundant,

there's not much point, is there?

- Are you there till the end of the month?

- Work my notice period? Fuck that.

I'm off now. [indistinct reply]

Yep.

- Hey! Hold the lift!

- Come on, you fucker. No, not you, Dave, the new girl.

- Thanks.

[indistinct chatter]

- I never met this consultant, but she sounds like a bitch.

Sneaks around and thinks she knows it all in 10 days.

And the language she uses: like corporate-speak run riot.

Yeah. [laughing]

Too right. That's exactly what she needs a decent seeing to.

Her life is empty, so she wrecks creative companies for kicks.

- Find out her name?

- Eloise or something. [French accent]: Eloise Martin!

Dave, not every French woman looks like Audrey Tatou.

She's probably a wizened old trout

with armpit hair and a 'tache,

a wart or mole of some sort she'd never think of removing.

Heavy-duty containment underwear.

[indistinct response]

- Dave, can I call you back?

Dave? Uh...

Ahem.

Hi.

Eloise Martin.

[beeping]

Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.

- Tom.

- Jesus Christ. - No, it's only me.

We've got 87 minutes.

My train leaves for Paris at 6:45.

I need to be at the tube station by 6:00.

- Don't worry.

You're in France for New Year, as well, or just Christmas?

I mean we've only just got back in touch.

- Didn't you read my email?

- Yeah, you said you were gonna be in France for Christmas.

- No, I said by Christmas.

I'm moving to France.

- So this is a... goodbye-type scenario?

Drink?

- No, I don't feel like one.

So why did you want to meet-- - The reason I asked you...

Go on. - No, you go.

- It's not to try and win you back, okay,

if that's what you're thinking.

- If it was, you'd be drinking alone by now.

- I guess I was just wondering why it was--

- Never ask why. - Were you always this annoying?

- Always. You were too in love to notice.

- Christ, you're full of it. [Eloise giggling]

Anyway, as I was saying-- - Tom, whatever it is,

save it for your friends or your psychiatrist.

Let's enjoy what's left of the evening and say our goodbyes.

- Fair enough. Back to your old self, I see.

Defensive. - Determined.

Since I met Bill, I've got back on course.

- Oh, this is Bill's doing, is it?

- I don't want to talk about Bill and neither do you.

- Christmas!

Rose for the pretty lady?

Very good, Christmas Rose, for the nice lady.

So, so pretty!

- Tell me, what makes these Christmas roses exactly?

- Don't you dare. - I paint them gold especial.

- We're fine, thanks.

- But they go with her lips! - We're fine for roses.

- One little red flower.

- We don't want any fucking roses!

- And this the season of goodwill!

No romantics, this city.

- Did I see one of your groups on TV?

- Groups? Bands, dear, bands.

The Forgotten wear a lot of eyeliner and dress in black.

First album comes with a free blindfold... and ear plugs.

[laughter] - No number-one hit, then?

- Last single had 840,000 downloads.

- It's good.

Well done. - Well...

- Bill wants to get the vineyard going.

- Now Billy boy gets to squeeze your grapes, eh?

[coughing] You okay?

- Wrong passage.

- I gave up snorting wine. It's better just to drink it.

Thank you, God.

- It's stuck. - Well observed.

- Why did the lights go out?

- Do I look like an electrician?

- Yes. [Tom sighing]

- Right. Okay.

Come on.

Oh!

Let there be light.

- There should be a phone, too. [sighing]

- Office party.

You won't get any reception for that in here. None on mine.

Told you.

[ding] - Hello, anyone out there?!

- Hello! Can you hear us?!

- Hello? Anyone in there?

- Tariq, it's Tom, from Marketing. We're stuck.

- Whoever's in there, engineer's coming.

- From where?

Can you tell us how long he'll be?

- It's a speaker, not a phone. They can't hear us.

- Yeah, I knew that.

That was Tariq from Maintenance.

He's been banging on about replacing these lifts for ages.

- This has happened before?

- At least once a month. - You still use them?

- We're on the 13th floor? - But no one's done anything?

- I wrote an email. - You wrote an email...

- It was more effective than your memo.

We got one lift replaced. - Just not this one.

- If I still worked here, maybe I'd do something about it.

Someone got me fired, remember? - Not fired, redundant.

I didn't get you fired, I made recommendations.

- Right...

- We'll have you out as soon as...

Engineer's coming from Borehamwood.

[sighing] Yo, hang in there.

- Borehamwood is like 20 miles away!

- Hey, "hang in there," is that meant to be a joke?

- Tariq's sense of humour, you get used to it.

You didn't make him redundant, did you?

It's not helping, you know.

- You should rest. Use up all the bloody oxygen.

- It could be blocked.

We don't know how long we're gonna be here.

- You're using more oxygen talking.

[sighing]

- Sit.

- What? - Sit.

- I'm not a dog.

- Less words, more oxygen.

- You're such an idiot.

[groaning]

- Arthritis?

- Squash... if you wanna know.

Against my ex-husband.

That's how he gets revenge for the alimony.

- Nice. Wow, you just shared.

- Don't get used to it.

[sighing]

What are you doing?

- Looking for structural weaknesses.

- Do you think you're Bruce Willis or something?

- I'm just making sure. - Of what?

- That there's a plan B in case.

- In case what? - In case we have to break out.

- Why would we have to do that? The engineer is on the way.

- Yeah, from Borehamwood. - We'll wait,

they'll push a switch, we'll be out soon enough.

- Well, I hope so.

- What?

- Nothing.

- Will you please just tell me? - That's not an air vent there.

It's a design feature. A fancy light.

Still, I'm sure there's some air con of some kind.

- Okay, you're an expert now. If I knew you had such skills,

I might not have had you fired. - Made redundant.

- Hello! Anyone out there?!

- Supposed to be in the pub celebrating my newfound freedom.

- The pub at 10 a.m.? Are you a complete alcoholic?

- I guess you're a glass-of-rosé kind of girl.

Probably tipsy after half a lager Shandy.

- I'm French, I drink wine, and I can handle it. So...

- What? - The morning drinking?

- Look, my brother works nights.

Usually I meet him up on Sunday mornings with his colleagues.

They work the printing presses at the Times.

It's the only time we can meet up.

- Wouldn't a café be more appropriate?

- Pub's the only place I can get a coffee and fried breakfast

and he can get a pint. Today I'm on the pints too.

- Think your brother and his friends will miss you?

[laughing] - If I'm lucky, they'll notice.

- Some friends - Of course they'll miss me.

I was exaggerating for comic effect.

- I'm not laughing.

- Just as well. Your face might fall off.

And anyway, what did I ever do to you?

- It's your kind. You're like my last boyfriend

- Witty, cultured and ruggedly handsome?

[scoffing]

- He was interesting-looking... at best.

[laughing] - Oh, I shouldn't laugh.

For a moment--

- What? - For a moment there,

I thought you were flirting with me.

♪ Good King Wenceslas looked out on the feast of Stephen ♪

♪ When the snow lay round about ♪

♪ Deep and crisp and even ♪

♪ Brightly shone the moon that night ♪

♪ Though the frost was cruel ♪

♪ When a poor man came in sight ♪

♪ Gathering winter fuel ♪

♪ Hither page and stand by me... ♪

- Let's go. I'm going to miss my train.

- God, yeah, before they attempt Silent Night.

♪ Where and what his dwelling ♪ - Thank you.

♪ Sire he lives a good league hence ♪

♪ Underneath the mountain ♪

♪ Right against the forest fence by Saint Agnes's fountain ♪

♪ Bring me flesh and bring me wine ♪♪

[soft music]

- It's such a nice evening.

Wish we didn't have to rush.

- But we do. - We should've met earlier.

- In the pub?

For one of your breakfasts with David?

- You never came. - You never invited me!

Anyway, you'd be late.

- When am I ever late?

- You were late at your own brother's wedding.

- That's 'cause someone was agonizing over lipstick.

- And someone's wonderful driving skills

took us to the wrong church! - All weddings look the same.

- The guests were all from Armenia.

- That did seem odd. [laughing]

- So... any women in your life right now?

- Well, there was this singer-songwriter I was seeing,

but, uh-- - But?

- But her lyrics sucked. - And that's important?

- It is when she insisted on printing them on her website.

What she thought profound I thought profoundly banal.

- You're getting selective as you get old.

- Hey, I'm still the right side of 40.

- Yeah?

Some grey at the temples. - Distinguished.

- And in the ears... [mock gasping]

- I'll plait it for you.

- Not for me, for your next singer-songwriter.

- No, no more singer-songwriters.

Not unless they write like Joni, sing like Aretha,

move like Beyoncé and look like a young Kate Bush.

- You ask a lot. - Compromise's the death of art.

- Your whole life has been a compromise.

- Nice, go for the jugular.

- No, sorry, I didn't mean it that way--

- No, it's fine. - We both made compromises.

- But someone's had a hand in your pants.

- I beg your pardon!

- No, I meant that you have a stylist or something?

Y-you look good.

- No, I have a personal shopper. - Oh, quand même!

- Hey, why am I letting you off so easily?

Stand still for a minute. Huh? Okay.

[laughing]

- Well?

- Not telling.

- Come on. It can't be that bad.

I go to the gym three times a week.

- I'd better not say. - You'd better say right now.

- Inadvisable, given the circumstances.

- I was honest, you should be. I can't have changed that much.

- You wouldn't like it.

- And you won't like my shoe up your ass.

- Alright. When I first met you,

I thought you were the most beautiful woman in town.

- Okay, but now?

- Honestly? - Yeah.

- Now I think you're the best-looking girl

I've ever seen.

Told you you wouldn't like it.

- Why'd you have to say that? - You asked.

- Why such a compliment now? Whenever you say

something like that, you're looking for something.

You want something from me.

- What could I possibly want from you, yeah?

Because you're about to get on a train, to another country,

in 51 minutes.

[whistling]

- That's right, I am.

[whistling]

[whistling]

Do you have to do that?

- Do what? - Whistle.

Can't you sing like a normal person?

- I don't sing. Ever.

- I thought you loved music. - I do.

- But you won't sing.

- Do you like chocolate? - Of course.

- Ever tried to make it? - Once. It was... horrible.

- I rest my case.

You can have the unmelted end. - No, thanks.

- You sure? - Ah!

- Um...

[moaning]

[laughing]

[gulping]

You take nothing seriously.

- It's only way to be.

This is a record company,

not an accountancy firm. - It's still business.

- They certainly went for a different approach hiring you.

- What do you mean? - You're a right ball-buster.

- Ha! Okay, when a woman criticizes a colleague,

she's a ball-buster.

And when a man does it, he's just the boss.

- That's because with a man you know it's just business.

No sexual politics. - There's always politics.

You just resent how good women have become at power play.

- And if people dislike you? - That's their problem.

I wasn't here to be liked. - Just as well.

You weren't.

- What does this mean?

- A reminder of why I'm not pissed off to be leaving.

"Strategic Development Plan, Cost Benefit Breakdown,

SWOT Analyses." I mean, what does this mean?

- Well, a strategic development plan--

- No. What does it mean to talk like this in a company

founded on the emotional and passionate

and instinctive power of music?

- I was employed to analyse business.

I know little about the... groups.

And don't care.

[buzzing]

- What was that? - I don't know.

Maybe there's a power problem with the whole building.

- It's not going to happen again, is it?

- I doubt it.

The emergency lights are...

most likely on some sort of a generator.

It won't get used much. It's probably just rusty.

Hey, hey. Don't worry.

Borehamwood's not that far, okay?

We'll be fine.

[loud crash] [Eloise gasping]

What was that?

- Somebody help us! Please!

Hello?! Help!

Somebody help us!

Wh-what was that crashing sound?

- I don't know, a vehicle? Maybe a gas explosion.

- What if it was a bomb? - This is a record company.

Unless someone's taken offence to our cover of Rock the Casbah.

- You're not worried? - I don't believe in panicking.

- And if news came through the intercoms

that we were under attack?

- Then I'd start panicking, but it's highly unlikely.

- Then what was that noise?

- I don't know, someone knocked over a filing cabinet maybe.

Or an explosion! - You're not helping, you twat.

[exclamations]

Come on, get me out of here! Come on!

I can't stand it!

Merde!

[Tom laughing]

Fuck you, okay?

- Oh, now she shows her true colours.

Spoken like a man, Ms. Martin! - Trapped in a shaft of air

hundreds of feet above the ground with a caveman!

- At least I'm not freaking out.

This caveman knows how the magical moving space-box works,

and how it can get stuck sometimes.

And then a clever man comes along--

- Or clever woman, you patronizing--

- Trust me, Germaine Greer, it'll be a man and he'll fix it,

and you'll feel pretty dumb for freaking out.

- I didn't freak out. [Tom giggling]

I was just trying to hurry things on, that's all.

- Give me that.

- Why? - Give it to me.

[sighing]

I knew there was a reason why I was keeping this.

- Thanks.

But don't think this lets you off

from being a jerk earlier.

- My pleasure, milady.

- Oh! - Whoa, steady.

- Sorry. What was in that bloody wine?

- Bloody wine mostly. Lightweight.

- Ever tried these? - Argh. Okay.

- Hello. - Interest you in a nibble?

- Ah, two, please. - Two. No problem.

[laughter]

- I can see what you're doing, you know.

- Yeah, what am I doing? - Inveigling.

- What? - Word of the day,

in some magazine I picked up. I like it. Inveigling.

- I am? - Expertly.

You were always good with that.

Always ready with just the right thing to say.

Sometimes the right thing to cause the most hurt.

- Come on, that's pretty harsh. - I'm as much to blame.

I'd fish for compliments, pretend to be insecure,

looking for the boost you knew how to give me.

That little kick.

- You make me sound like an illicit drug.

- A person can get hooked on kindness,

even if it's counterfeit.

- The way I felt about you was never faked.

- You were honest when you knew I'd like the answer.

- Because that's what people do, Ellie.

- No, Tom, that's what you do. - Yeah?

- There were times I needed to hear the truth, too.

- Really? - Even if it's brutal.

- Really? God, Eloise, you are a conundrum

wrapped around a mystery in the middle of an enigma...

buried in a steaming pile of bullshit.

[Eloise laughing]

- Ow! [Eloise laughing]

Ow! - Oh!

- Ow! Ah... - Oh, God.

- Ah... - You okay?

Ah... Kidding.

[laughing]

- Listen, I wanna ask you something in a bit, alright,

and I want you to answer truthfully, no jokes.

- Tom...

What the hell are you doing?! - They fell out of your bag.

- You were looking through my stuff.

Don't look at my things! - Your things?

Why have you got 19 pairs of sunglasses in your bag...

with the price tag still attached?

Are those from the stall on the corner by the newsstand?

- Don't be stupid. - You've done this before.

Are you a klepto?

- Do you think I need to steal sunglasses?

- So you bought 36 pairs, what, for Christmas presents?

- Seven pairs.

So what if I took them?

- Stole them. - The shopkeeper was a bastard.

I wanted to see some umbrellas,

but he wouldn't let me open them, so...

- So you stole seven pairs of sunglasses instead?

- Yes.

- Hmm, well, just goes to show you,

people are surprising.

Can I keep these? You've got six more pairs.

- Don't care. Take them.

- Have you got a vast collection at home?

- No, I have quite a few staplers

and adjustable spanners, though.

- Bastards in every trade. - There certainly are.

- What?!

Ah, take them. Nobody buys CDs anymore.

Though I doubt Ebola Crèche is your kind of music.

[Tom whistling]

[Eloise sighing]

[whistling]

- I'm going to miss this walk.

We must have done this a thousand times.

- So here's the biggie. What I want to know is...

What is that?

You retired the Pentax I gave you?

- No, I still use it from time to time,

but this is more convenient.

I want to take your picture. - But you don't have time.

- Prepare for the world's quickest photo shoot.

♪ Underneath those city lights ♪

♪ I'm gonna dream about you every night ♪

♪ And in between those city dreams ♪

♪ I'm gonna find out just what lonely means ♪

♪ But I wasn't made to be holed up in the country ♪

♪ And I wasn't made for sitting still ♪

♪ I never could and I never will ♪

♪ Well I never will ♪

[light music]

Close your eyes.

- Can I get up now? - Heck, no!

♪ Underneath those city stars ♪

♪ I'm gonna find out just what troubles are ♪

♪ And underneath that city sun ♪

- Ellie.

Eloise!

El...

[music stopping abruptly]

Ellie?

Eloise.

[laughing]

♪ And if you wait for me ♪

♪ You know I'll be back presently ♪

♪ Just like I've never been away ♪♪

[singing along to Françoise Hardy]

[...singing...]

You've got a good voice.

- What?

- I said you've got a good voice.

- Thanks. I used to sing in restaurants and clubs.

- Really? - What?

- Nothing. I'm just surprised.

- See, I'm not a musical philistine.

- Françoise Hardy.

That's what you were singing, wasn't it?

- Yeah. That's one of my favourite song of hers.

- You ever hear her cover of Leonard Cohen's Suzanne?

- No. - I'll get you a copy.

If we ever get out of here.

[faint sirens]

- What's that?

- I don't know. They're passing by, though.

Relax. No use being on edge all the time.

We could be in here for hours.

- You'd like that? Some of us have jobs to go to.

Sorry.

- I would've thought that's the one English word

you wouldn't have bothered to learn.

- I take it back. I'm not sorry. You're a pig.

[laughing]

[sighing]

- So beautiful.

You wanna see my baby?

My friends went gaga over her.

[laughing]

Jaguar 3.4 MK 2.

Might have to sell her... now I'm out of work.

- Yo! You won't believe this,

but the engineer's gonna be a while.

- What?! - North Circular is fucked!

Another couples of hours. Sorry, bruv. But listen,

I might be able to get my uncle Faisal to come down!

- Hope's a qualified engineer. Tariq has some dodgy relatives.

- Faisal's good with his hands. He fixes washing machines!

[cursing in French]

I'll come and speak to you through the door, innit?!

Maybe do a bit of freestyling to keep you entertained!

- He's a rap wannabe,

always trying to get us to listen to one of his demos.

- Bet you haven't. [scoffing]

[knocking]

- Hello? Can you hear me? - Yeah, loud and clear, mate.

So, look, this uncle-- - Tom, that you, bruv?

I knew it was you who removed--

- Right. I'm here with someone. She's--

- Uh, Tariq, I need to call someone urgently.

We get no reception in here. Can you do that?

- No probs, sis! - Okay, I'll get the number.

[sighing]

- No signal on mine either.

- Forget it! - No worries. Back in a bit.

- They'll have hired someone else by now.

- Oh, you've just lost a job? Good. Then we're even.

- Just when I think you might not be a total asshole,

you say something to remind me why I hate you.

- I'm just getting started. Wait another hour,

then you'll really hate me.

- Hmm. I wanted to see how long you'd sit there.

- Yeah? Yeah, nice one. Did you capture my soul?

- I'm taking it with me.

♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪ [laughter]

[popping] - Hey...

- You pulled a cracker there, mate.

- Merry Christmas.

[all]: Merry Christmas. ♪ 'Tis the season ♪

♪ To be jolly... ♪♪ [laughter]

[laughing] - Just for you.

Nice. - Yeah?

- Yeah. [laughter]

- So...

Um... what do you call a three-legged... donkey?

- No idea.

- A wonkey. I don't understand.

- Believe me, it's not worth it.

- What happened to you after I left?

- The usual. Drank a lot of beer,

experimented with a serious Prawn Cocktail Crisps habit,

stopped shaving,

wanked mournfully whilst listening to Leonard Cohen.

Hallelujah, not Jazz Police, obviously.

- Please, no jokes now. After you stopped all the calls,

Dave turned up at my sister's place looking for you.

- Oh, I don't think we should go into that.

- Yes, we should. You were almost stalking me.

Then you vanished for a bit. Where were you?

- I was not stalking--

- Tom, you appeared in the supermarket,

in the park, at my yoga class.

- I was thinking of joining. Look, there's no use digging--

- It's important, Tom. I was anxious. What happened?

- It's a long and dreary story.

- Can it be told in 30 minutes, between here and the station?

- I guess. Just as long as you don't start

singing Edith-bloody-Piaf at an embarrassing volume.

You always use to do that

when I was trying to tell you something emotional.

- At least I can sing. - So can I... technically.

Sang in the shower this morning. - Why not in public?

- I leave that to the professionals.

[soft music]

- When you left, it was bad enough.

I wanted to see if you were with anyone,

so... yeah, I followed you around for a bit.

Then one day, when I was at work,

you sneaked in and stripped the flat of all your possessions

like a swarm of locusts. Like, pfft!

Everything gone. I mean everything...

everything except an answering machine

full of old messages.

So you reminded me to pick up a pint of milk,

saying you'd booked the plane tickets,

me telling you that I'd be home after a pint with Dave.

- Never just a pint, though, was it?

[laughing]

- I wanted to erase it,

I wanted to sort of get rid of that reminder

of everyday happiness, along with all the photos,

but...

...I couldn't.

It was like the life I'd struggled

to build up around me just collapsed.

It was that fragile.

- Tom... you can't hold me responsible.

- You gonna let me tell it? Seeing as you insisted.

- Okay, but just be warned,

I may not be able to restrain the Piaf effect.

[Tom laughing]

- Right, I'll cut to the chase.

That night, I got drunk.

I mean not tipsy, not pissed, but blind, obscene,

falling-over, puking-on-your-shoes drunk.

- Lovely. - Yeah.

Woke up curled up under a bush in the park.

Hauled myself to a crouching position by about 2:00,

when a tramp decided to piss on me.

[laughter] I'm, like:

"That is the final straw, I've had enough of this.

I've lost the best piece of the jigsaw of my life

and the will to put it back together again."

By 7:30, I'm looking for a chemist that's still open.

'Cause I want a headache cure.

I want some paracetamol.

A lot of paracetamol.

You know, fast-forward through an hour of chemist-hopping,

because they only sell them in small batches,

and 28 is not gonna be enough.

I'm back in a park,

drenched in tramp piss,

a bottle of vodka in my hand.

- Go on, finish it. - Don't worry,

it has a happy ending.

- I'm singing Piaf really badly if you're wrong.

- I can't get the top off the paracetamol bottle.

Never can with those things.

Suddenly it pops open, scattering pills...

As I'm gathering them up,

this young bloke passing by comes over to investigate.

I try to ignore him,

but he picks up the paracetamol bottle.

As soon as he clocks that and sees the vodka,

he starts stamping on the pills.

He pulls me to my feet and goes: "How many you taken?"

And I lie and I go: "I don't know, four or five."

He goes: "That's the hangover cured anyway."

Then I find myself being shoved down the road

by this Samaritan into a small club,

and I notice he has a guitar and I find out he's due to play

an acoustic set as warm-up for a band called -

wait for it - The Forgotten.

That's how I met the band.

Next day I got off of my arse

and started making plans for... Eloise.

- For what? - The name of our label.

My mates tried to talk me out of it, but...

- Don't ever do anything that stupid again, okay?

- I'm not gonna go round starting labels

and naming them after exes, if that's--

- No. The overdose. Promise me,

or I'm leaving you here and now with no goodbyes.

- It's okay, it's okay. I promise, alright?

It was another life.

[music playing on Eloise's iPod]

[Eloise sighing]

What are you listening to?

- What?

- Sounds like that French Elvis guy,

that old singer that was in that film.

What was it called?

With that even older bloke in that house.

- Oh... Johnny Halliday. L'Homme du Train.

You saw that? - Yeah.

I'm not a complete philistine. I do watch foreign films

- Emmanuelle Part 13?

- Not at all. I saw Betty Blue. - Half of that film is fucking.

- And the other half is froggy angst.

- Yeah. Such a sad film.

- Yeah. Great fucking scenes, though.

[knocking]

- Bruv, have to revise that ETA. Be here by 2:00?

- What? - I've got meetings!

- Uh, Faisal's kid had a fight at school.

Plus there's nine high-court judges

stuck in a lift in Finchley. Engineer's gone there first.

Some of those boys are pushing 80!

- Super.

Another two hours of this with you.

- Want to call a truce?

- God, yes. You're still a tosser, though.

- Tosser? As in wanker, or serial masturbator?

[Eloise laughing] - Both, I'm sure.

You English have all the best insults.

- Well, I guess you're not the antichrist.

Shake?

Just don't ask me to like you. [chuckling]

- You're hard work, too, you know.

- Yeah, I know. Anna's always complaining.

- Anna? - Never mind.

- You actually have a girlfriend?

- Fiancée.

She even gave me this ring.

She said, "Why should only girls get one?"

- Cute. Wait a minute.

Someone's willing to share the rest of their life with you?

- That was a short truce. - Sorry.

When's the wedding?

[sighing] - We haven't really decided yet.

Year, year-and-a-half probably.

- Why the long wait?

- We're both busy. - You aren't.

[laughing softly] What's her job?

- She's studying.

- Mature student?

How old is Anna?

- She's a bit younger. - How much younger?

- She's very nearly... 21. - And you're?

- Not old enough to be her dad. - Yeah, but nearing 40--

- Thirty-four. Thanks. Yeah, 13 years older.

Wedding's on at the moment,

but she, uh, she changes her mind a lot.

- Children are like that. - You're treading a fine line.

- That's my speciality. So...

how did you meet the juvenile?

- We met at a gig.

I know, predictable.

I was dissing one of these faux-glam bands fronted

by a whiny-voiced she-male. You know the type.

- No. But go on.

- I was laying into the singer to this cute girl, Anna.

Turns out the singer was Anna's brother.

- You have a habit of saying the wrong thing.

- That's my speciality. - But... you recovered well.

I mean, if you persuaded the infant to marry you.

- We kept bumping into each other at gigs.

She was, uh, working for a music website while studying,

so I told her which bands to see,

got her interviews.

- It all sounds a bit calculated to me.

- Yeah, it's called give and take.

Plus the sex is frankly staggering.

- How romantic.

- Romance is for people with too much time on their hands.

Anyway.

What about you?

Seeing anyone?

- Why are you asking? - It's called conversation.

When people make friendly noises towards each other

with their mouths.

- Not that much to tell.

- Come on, we could be in here for hours yet.

Why not open up a little?

- Because it's just... not that interesting.

And... anyway, why should I? We're strangers.

It could have been anyone in this lift.

- Maybe it was fated that we we're stuck together.

Don't believe in fate, then?

- Obviously, karma.

I'm being punished now for what I did in a previous life.

- Or in this one. - No, I'm a perfect angel.

[Tom laughing]

- Alright, okay. Just so you know,

I am an exceptionally good listener.

[whistling] - Okay, okay, okay, okay.

If you must know, there are some guys--

- Plural, eh? Aren't you the femme fatale.

- No.

I just don't have much time for a proper relationship.

Do you realize how long it takes

to set up your own business? How much work?

- Don't know. Don't wanna know.

Wouldn't let it rule my life. - It's impossible not to.

See, I'm not complaining.

- You don't get lonely sometimes?

- I do okay.

- Well, you spared me the Piaf effect.

- Oh, you think so?! - No, Eloise, please!

[singing Piaf]

[soft music]

[rock music]

[samba music]

[romantic music]

[punk-rock music]

[laughing] So tell me about this husband.

- Which husband? - There's more than one?

- No. I don't remember mentioning my husband.

- You mentioned alimony and that tends to be a giveaway.

- Okay. Um...

I was young and impressionable.

He was an artist.

I'm drawn to intense... poor... driven... creative types.

Born from growing up in Montmartre, you know--

- Never been.

- You'd fit right in. Hmm.

- So... you and this penniless artist--

- Oh, he wasn't penniless for long.

Ironically, our marriage fell apart when he got successful.

Newspaper articles, Saatchi Gallery shows,

Turner Prize nomination. - Would I have heard of him?

- Inflatable children... dogs,

a blow-up Houses of Parliament.

You could take your shoes off and bounce on it.

- Anthony Steinman. You were married to Tony Steinman?

- For nearly a year. - And then?

- I came home early...

from a night class... that was cancelled.

There he was on the bed,

being painted in chocolate spread

by two teenage art groupies.

[laughing]

- Such people exist?

- Like you would not believe. - I sense anger.

- I blew up his Houses of Parliament with a hat pin.

The papers called me...

Girl Fawkes.

To give him his due, he kept my name out of it.

Said it was a politically motivated attack.

And I got my alimony.

I guess he was worried about the kids.

- Children? - Blow-up ones.

- I'm duly warned.

[grunting]

It's only gonna get worse in here.

They predicted 85 degrees outside.

[slow jazzy music]

- What are you doing?

- I'm sorry, okay? But it's too fucking hot.

They were a secret Santa present.

I didn't expect them to be aired in public.

- Ow! Thanks!

[banging]

- Okay in there?

- We've been in here for hours

and no one's telling us what's happening!

- Mate, can you prise the doors open or something?

- Not with the power off. They won't budge.

Someone's been jabbing at the control again.

- Could you open them just a little bit

and get some water in here?

- I have a bash. Are you thirsty?

- Gasping. See what you can do, eh?

- Do you wanna hear me freestyle?

- Oh, um, maybe later! We really do need a drink.

- That's gonna be a mission! Leave it with me.

[playful music]

- This is not an invitation. - Tsk. So what should I do?

Keep my eyes tightly screwed shut forever,

or would you prefer to blindfold me?

- You wish. - Not my fetish, dearest.

- Hey, don't call me that. - Okay, honey.

[music]

- Ah, merde! [laughing]

Merde!

- Here, let me.

- Ah, thanks.

Hey, stop looking, you pervert!

- Nice bra.

Roses, eh?

[Eloise sighing]

[romantic music]

Hey. Wait a minute-- - Tom, don't!

- How much for the lot?

- Normally, it's 30 pounds. For you...

nice man...

is 50!

Special Christmas offer--

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, 50 pounds.

There you go.

- Merry Christmas!

- T'es vraiment un imbécile. - Yeah.

- What am I supposed to do with these?

I'm meeting Bill.

[rattling]

[Tariq groaning]

[grunting]

- That's as far as it'll go. Sorry I took so long.

I've got some water and a funnel. Say when.

- Okay, go.

Oh, man.

Okay.

- Want anymore? - No, we're okay for now.

Couldn't squeeze a pizza in through there, could you?

[Tariq laughing]: Yeah! What would you like on it?

- Oh, you know, peppers, beef, jalapeno, mushrooms--

- Anchovies on mine.

- Anchovies for the lady. - Your wish is my command, bruv.

I'll see what I can do, yeah? - Oh, dear.

I've really gotta get down the gym again.

- Good idea.

- You do know how to make a man feel good about himself.

- Sorry, I save my compliments for when they count.

So stop fishing. This is a truce, remember,

not a courtship.

- Courtship? Where'd you learn your English,

in the 18th century? - You know what I mean.

Lâche-moi. We get out,

we go our separate ways

- Oh, agreed, agreed. Every man for himself.

- That's exactly why I asked the CEO to fire you.

- Fire me.

You spoke to Brubaker? - No, not exactly.

I made recommendations.

- That man hardly ever leaves Beverley Hills. Why him?

- I felt it was serious enough. - What was serious enough?

It was nothing about my efficiency.

- Not really. - Well, then, what was it?

Come on, spit it out. What was my great crime?

- The Christmas party fund. You stole from it.

- I stole... That's absurd.

- I saw the emails to your bookkeeper.

- My what?! - You know,

your horse-racing agent guy?

- Bookie, bookie, you mean bookie. What bookie?

- Big D. You took the money and gambled it away

- Big D's not my bookie! Big D's my brother.

Big D... Dave! Big D!

The Christmas fund is like a giant petty-cash tin.

Okay? Everyone in the office gets to dip into it

throughout the year as long as they make it up

by the middle of December, before the Christmas party.

- You took 3,400 pounds. - Not all at once!

- Of course not! That would've been stupid!

In several instalments! It's called embezzlement.

You're lucky we didn't go to the police.

And that's only because Mr. Brubaker insisted

we made it a redundancy, keep it quiet.

- It's probably because I know about the hookers

he charges on his expenses as "emergency plumbing."

- So you admit it?

- I admit borrowing funds for my brother, yes!

- And what was he going to do with the money?

Drink it or spend it on girls, if he's anything like you?

- I think most went on the fees for the rehabilitation unit.

My brother's a junkie - or was.

I found this six-week program. He was in rehab.

He's been out and clean for a month.

I was gonna raise a loan to pay it back!

Guess I don't need to now.

- Actually...

they're gonna take it back of your redundancy payment.

- Really.

[beatboxing and footsteps]

Tariq, is that you? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Half an hour and Faisal will be here, swear down.

How's it going? - We're having a party in here.

Hey, wanna see who I'm trapped in here with?

Press play.

[Eloise ranting] [Tariq laughing]

Bunny boiler, eh?

[indistinct ranting] - Fuck you, okay?!

- Oh, now she shows her true colours.

[laughing] - You remind me of my father.

He filmed me having tantrums when I was a child.

Said it would teach me a lesson

if I saw how ridiculous I looked.

I started stealing things around then.

- I-I'm sorry.

- Erase that. Now.

[upbeat guitar music]

- Ah, excuse me. A rose, a Christmas rose.

- Thank you. - My pleasure.

- It's free. It's free.

[woman laughing]

♪ Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay ♪

- Madam, here you go.

One for you, sir?

♪ ...Keeping their sheep ♪

- Rose, sir?

♪ On a cold winter's night that was so deep ♪

♪ Noel ♪

♪ Noel Noel ♪

♪ Noel ♪

♪ Born is the king into this world ♪

So tell me about you and Bill. How's that working out?

- You really wanna know? - I really wanna know.

I wanna know how you are. I hope you're happy.

- Well... things have been better.

Moving in with Bill was always going to be difficult.

I think I'm not the most tolerant of people.

[Eloise laughing] - Your ever-growing niggle list.

- I suppose a few things annoy me more than they should.

- A few? Wobbly tables,

pictures in hotel rooms not hung straight--

- Yeah, horrible, greasy, English breakfasts.

- Unfunny political cartoons, Easter eggs, supermarkets,

toilet attendants in bars, pavement cyclists--

- Plastic sauce bottles in pubs,

when they're all crusted with old stuff.

- Sticky labels that tear off when you buy new CDs,

or they come off but leave a sticky residue.

- Barcodes on book jackets.

The way they spoil the graphic design.

- Fruit in mulled wine. Badly varnished wood.

You always had a thing about that.

So the little things annoy you. Big deal.

- Bill always found it symptomatic of a larger problem.

He thought he could solve me like a puzzle.

- Thought? - Thinks.

You know my English slips when I'm stressed.

- So you're finding sharing a house tough again

after months without me under your feet.

- I got used to my freedom when I had my own place.

The bathroom always being free when I wanted it.

No wet socks drying over radiators, except mine.

- No questions about your vast sunglasses collection.

- I don't do that anymore.

Anyway, Bill's an understanding man.

- So that's not the issue.

- It's like the relationship's taken a shortcut

from excitement to comfort,

missing out passion along the way.

- No, no passion's overrated. Can't live with it that long.

It's exhausting. Remember our first few months?

[chuckling] - We were different people then.

- People don't change that much.

We had passion, but we had something real underneath.

- Hormones. They relax after a few months.

- You're such a cynic! - No, I'm a realist.

- So this thing with you and Bill,

how is it an improvement between you and me?

- It's a proper adult relationship

built on mutual trust and respect.

[Tom "snoring"] [Eloise laughing]

Okay, I'm not selling him very well.

- Sounds about as much fun as his name.

Good news rarely comes in windowed envelopes.

- What are you on about? - Bills!

- Aren't you forgetting something?

- I don't know, has he got a very small penis?

- Tom, for godssake. You want to know why I left you?

You must've had plenty of time to figure it out.

- Yeah, I tried, I tried, but honestly, I--

- I wasn't entirely sure myself! I knew I had to leave, though.

Then it hit me the day after I moved out.

- I remember you kept stealing and getting us into trouble.

- I got that under control, remember? That's not it.

- I wasn't good at listening? - You still aren't!

You listen to the words, but you don't process them.

You put them through some Tom filter

so they turn out the way you'd like.

- This just isn't fair!

- Maybe so, but that's not it either!

- Is it because I didn't paint the garden fence?!

I was gonna do it on the day you walked out!

I'll bring this.

[beeping]

[musical ring tone]

- Tom can't talk right now. He's busy being beaten up.

This was working all along?

- I didn't notice. - And you didn't think to look

when I was talking about my important meeting?!

And how useful it would be to call and explain the delay?!

- You weren't exactly on my list of favourite people then.

- You just cost me 3,000 pounds! Bastard!

- You asked Tariq to call for you!

- Yeah, one: no more battery!

Two: how would that have sounded?!

A random Indian man-- - Pakistani.

- Pakistani! A random Pakistani man

who phones on my behalf with the excuse

that I'm stuck in a lift! - It could happen to anyone!

- Not to me! - You're a control freak.

- And you're a freak without control.

Do not look.

- I had no intention of looking.

[sultry music]

[banging]

- Yo, peeps, I couldn't magic up a pizza,

but... coming through!

I had to walk all the way up to floor 10 to get this jam.

They were proper miserable, man. Apart from that girl Serena.

- You're welcome. - She's a proper sweetie, innit?

Do you fancy a cup of char?

- You're kidding. - Gotta have tea with toast.

- Uh, do you have... some coffee out there?

- She is joking, right? - Yeah, she's joking.

- Whoo! It's tea or nothing, I'm afraid.

- Tea would be lovely. Thanks, Tariq.

- You know my name, but I don't even know yours.

- Oh, uh, how rude of me.

Uh, Tariq, Eloise. Eloise, Tariq

- Hey, Eloise. I'll get an ETA on Faisal in a minute.

Tom, why don't you check out my demo?

- Yeah, I'm a little short of CD players at the moment, Tariq.

- I hope there's no sugar in this.

[sighing]

[sniffing]

- What was my unforgivable sin? Give me a clue at least.

- Do you remember the first trip we took together?

- Yeah, how could I forget Venice?

Booking that palazzo was a bloody nightmare.

- Our first trip was Amsterdam. - Was it? I'm confused.

- You bet, with all you smoked.

- That's what you do in Amsterdam.

- I had to practically carry you around the Van Gogh museum.

- I was fine. You were being a bore and abstaining.

- You feel asleep in the café.

I had to call a taxi to get you home. I was furious.

- I made it up to you. - How?

- The restaurant, by the canal?

We were the only two people in there.

I bribed them to stay open.

- Why you didn't tell me?

- I didn't at the time because of the expense.

- You know, Tom, it sounds strange,

but part of being kind

is letting the person know you've been kind.

But back then, you tried.

[soft music] - I stopped trying.

- Oh! Now you got it!

[soft music]

[soft music]

[music fading]

Want to know the worst thing you did to me? The worst week?

- Would it be easier if I just apologized in advance?

- My birthday. The last one.

- It was fun, I seem to remember.

- You took me to see some bands.

I'd been hinting about going away for the weekend.

- You did a lot of hinting. You could try saying sometime.

Or perhaps start with mentioning and work up to the explicit.

- I took you to see the Foo Fighters.

Good seats, too. - Yeah, on my birthday,

you did what you wanted to,

and had the nerve to make it this big special surprise.

- You did look surprised. - Appalled.

You handed me an envelope with some tickets.

I'd never heard of the Food Fighters.

Two days later, we were having people round for dinner.

I'd been working. I asked you to tidy the house.

So you and your record-company friends

had a little party in there and trashed the place.

You were asleep on the sofa.

I packed a bag and left you there and then.

- God, you saw that? I didn't know.

- I had the right to be treated better.

- I'm sorry.

- I want to see your eyes. Say it again.

- Now who's being melodramatic? - Say it!

- Eloise, I'm sorry I neglected you.

I'm sorry I took you for granted.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

- Don't overdo it.

[cursing under his breath]

- Bill's the antidote to all this neglect, is he?

- Leave Bill out of this.

He's different, that's all.

Let's not get childish.

- Yes, Mother. [sighing]

- Why am I defending him to you anyhow?

How did this happen?

You never wanted to know how happy I was with Bill.

- I only asked-- - You wanted to know

how unhappy I was with him. - Hey, Ellie--

- Eh, we're not unhappy.

So you can't take that smug smile you were preparing

and shove it up your butt. [Tom laughing]

- That's physiologically tricky. Oh!

Ow! [Eloise gasping]

- Are you... you okay?

- Ah, I think so. Arse took most of the brunt.

- It might remind you what a pain in the ass you can be.

- You said I was a sweet, thoughtful guy in your note.

- I was experimenting with sarcasm.

- I never stopped thinking about you.

- After I left. I'll bet that faded fast enough.

- No, actually.

[soft music]

Design came to me about nine months ago.

Remember that photograph you liked?

- No, you're...

you're not doing this to me, not now.

- Ellie.

Eloise!

You've still got my jacket!

[soft music]

[loud bang] - Ah!

- Tariq! - Sorry, bruv!

- What was that? - Dunno.

Maybe it doesn't like you.

- Who doesn't? - The lift. It's alive!

Maybe we're in one of those Japanese horror movies.

The ones with the creepy empty apartments, corridors and lifts!

- Shut up.

- Hey.

You alright?

We'll be out of here soon, okay?

- Hey, you lost me a job. I got you fired.

We're even. Now leave me alone.

[soft music]

♪ Took me by complete surprise today ♪

♪ A wave so strong ♪

♪ On my knees again ♪

♪ The water's deep dear ♪

♪ Too scared to move ♪

♪ I'd rather freeze here ♪ Merde.

♪ Lest I come unglued ♪

[beeping]

♪ Don't you breathe on me ♪

♪ Never felt so fragile ♪

♪ Don't you reach for me ♪

♪ I fear I'll dissipate ♪♪

[phone ringing]

Yeah, I'm on my way.

No, it's not that late. I'm minutes away.

I just have to say goodbye to my friend.

No, she's no one you know.

I'll be there as soon as I can.

The train's not till quarter-past. Okay?

Okay! See you!

Now I have two angry men to deal with.

- I'm not angry. - Where have you been?

- Recuperating from my violent assault.

- I've been learning self-defence.

- Really? - I'm stronger now.

- Don't you wanna know why I'm not angry?

- Because you realize you were wrong

about almost everything and you want to thank me

for showing you the way to the light?

- I'm not angry 'cause I know now you're a hypocrite.

- We were doing so well. Don't ruin it.

- You told Bill you were seeing a friend. A female friend.

- How did you know that?

- You lied to your boyfriend about me. Why?

- It was just easier. Come on, I'm going to be late.

- I just don't get it. You're way too honest.

The only reason you'd lie is if the truth would hurt someone.

- I lie when it's important. - What makes it important now?

- Do we really need to spend our last few moments together

in some sort of interrogation?

- Think of it as more of a Socratic dialogue.

I'm leading you towards the truth.

- Oh, you're leading me towards the station.

So if you have a point, I'd suggest you reach it.

- I think the reason you lied to your boyfriend--

- Pull riches from my psyche. - The reason you lied to Bill

is you're still a little bit in love with me.

And if you told Bill you'd been seeing your ex

and he asked you directly how you felt about me,

you wouldn't be able to lie and he'd be hurt - badly.

- You do have such an imagination.

You're wrong.

- What was I thinking? I haven't seen you for a year.

Did I really think you'd keep the candle burning--

- Shut up, okay?!

[romantic music]

- I'm sorry.

I'm a wreck.

- Look, no worries, okay?

[beeping]

[laughing]

[rock music]

[Eloise gasping]

Look... okay?

I texted him hours ago, not after you saw!

- And you said you erased it!

Ah!

- Shit, I'm sorry.

- You just wanted your friend to laugh at me?

[cursing in French]

♪ How do you feel ♪

♪ Is everything okay How do you feel ♪

♪ Is everything okay ♪♪

[grunting]

[panting]

[rock music]

- Oh! I'm sorry, I shouldn't have.

[rock music]

- I still have six more pairs. [laughter]

[rock music] Oh!

Help me, help me, help me!

[exclamations]

- You guys okay?

We'll have you out in two minutes.

Hope it wasn't too skanky in there.

- Skanky is not the word.

[background chatter and music]

- When I said you were wrong,

what I meant was, I don't still love you a little.

- This is just pissing me off now.

- I love you a lot. Way too much.

God knows I'd have an easier life if I didn't,

but I do, and there we are,

and we just both have to deal with it.

- You make it sound like a disability.

- You were wrong about why I didn't tell Bill about you.

I didn't tell him because I wanted

this bit of my day to be just for me.

I didn't want to share you.

- Ironically, I seem to be sharing you.

[whistling]

- Why are you whistling?

- This is the whistle of regret.

- I'm sorry, Tom.

I shouldn't have kissed you

- Perhaps, but if you hadn't, I might have lunged anyway.

Such a torment for me not to be able to touch you.

- Poor wee Tom.

- Hey, hey, less of the wee.

In fact, I'm a bit bigger than I was a moment ago.

[laughing] - Put that away!

- I'm trying, I'm trying!

Tell me something deeply unsexy. Quickly, quickly.

- Mm... Bill asked me to... marry him.

[romantic music]

- So Bill popped the question? What, down on one knee?

Fancy restaurant? Big rock?

- Both knees, the Ivy, sapphire as big as blueberry.

- Such a tosser! - Excuse me?

- Sorry, it just came out.

- I didn't want to tell you. I knew you'd take it like that.

- What did you expect? I told you I'd have

a huge Eloise-shaped hole in me when you left.

How am I gonna fill it now? - I'm quite a regular shape,

I'm sure you'll find someone. [Tom sighing]

- Ellie...

- I haven't said yes yet.

- You're going to France with him to renovate a vineyard!

Quite a commitment for a risk-adverse person.

- Bill, France, hotel, vineyard. It's a lot to take on.

But you were always saying I need to take more risks.

- When you leave everything behind,

is there nothing you'd miss?

- You know the answer to that.

[slow jazzy music]

[ding] [laughter]

- Could you just give us another 10 minutes?

[cursing in French]

- That won't happen again. - Won't happen again to me.

It's my last day - What? You never said anything.

- I don't do leaving parties, bruv.

Still, I'll pop by when I'm in the neighbourhood.

- You better. Is this the famous Ms. Eloise?

- Yeah. Thanks for feeding and watering us.

- You make us sound like animals.

- No worries, bruv. - Um, Tom, I'd better go.

I'm late. For everything.

- Hey.

Haven't you forgotten something?

Man, you were gonna freestyle for us!

- I'd love to, but I don't have any of my backing tracks.

- No! Shame. I'd like to hear it.

- O-o-okay. Um...

[beatboxing]

♪ Tom and Eloise stuck in the elevator ♪

♪ She's a hottie he's a playa ♪

♪ Hanging in the dark no spark of light ♪

♪ Will they be there all day all night ♪

♪ No it's alright 'cause Tariq's in the room ♪

♪ Making toast for the folks that roast in the gloom ♪

♪ At the point of collapse in a metal box ♪

♪ Strippin' down to their panties and socks ♪

♪ Help is at hand engineer's here ♪

♪ Hours have passed and at last it's clear ♪

♪ Faisal's the man with the plan not Stan ♪

♪ Guy with the crowbar as far as... ♪♪

[laughter] - Mate, that was great, man.

I thought you were gonna suck. - I knew you'd be good.

- Really?! You liked it?!

I'm putting my demos online next week.

- Send me the link. - So you'll come and see us?

- I'll pop by, I promise, yeah? Send me that link.

- I will! Nice to meet you, Ms. Eloise.

Laters. - Safe, man.

[soft piano music]

- Well, um, uh... where are you going now?

- Uh, well, I'll see if Dave and the boys are in the pub.

Could do with a drink. Probably blotto by now.

- Blotto? - Blotto. Shit-faced. Plastered.

Drunk as a skunk. [laughing]

- Lots of words for our favourite pastime.

- Okay.

Um...

I'd better go.

[chuckling] - Okay, Ms. Martin,

I think that concludes our business.

- Yeah. [musical ring tone]

- Hi, Anna.

What? - Hi.

- Uh, no, I was stuck in a lift, for hours.

No, seriously.

Don't be daft.

What?

No, no, I haven't checked the messages yet, no.

Look, Anna, I don't have time for this now, I really don't.

Look, I'll call you back, okay? Uh, Anna, please.

Uh? Yeah, I'm losing you, I'm losing...

Fuck it!

Before you get on that train, I need to give you something,

and to tell you something. - Always drama, Tom.

Give. Oh, thank you.

- It's not Christmas yet.

- Is it going to get me in trouble?

- Not if you destroy the note that comes with it.

[laughing] - Thanks.

- I didn't give you anything.

- You gave me plenty.

[soft Christmas music]

You should dump Mr. Super Success Story Bill

and take up with a reprobate like me again.

- I knew it, I knew you'd try something like this.

- Purely improv, believe me! - Okay, you have 30 seconds

to tell me why I should give up the chance of a lifetime

to shack up with the man who once called me an emas...

- Emasculating bitch. It's a term of endearment.

You weren't supposed to remember.

- From here to the end of the tunnel. Go.

- You've got to come back. I can't sleep without you.

- Drink camomile tea. - I bought An Innocent Man

a week after we met because it was your favourite.

- I've gone off Billy Joel. More into Phil Collins now.

- No one's as much fun to be silent with as you.

- I'll send you a cardboard cutout.

- You make the greatest desserts I've ever--

- I'll send you the recipes.

- Because all my friends adore you.

- Your friends were relieved you were spending time

with a girl who doesn't have a web cam.

- Because I love you.

[Eloise sighing]

I can't believe you're doing this to me again.

You turned my life upside down.

- Hey. That's another reason why I'm leaving.

- Aren't you gonna give me your phone number?

- Um, well, have you got a good memory?

- Not particularly. - You'd better remember this.

0-7-7-0-0--

- Wait a minute.

Have you got another pen? - Maybe.

- 0-7-7-0-0--

- Are you on Facebook? - What's Facebook?

- Sorry, man. - 9-0-0-4

- Shit. 0-7-7-0-0-9-0-0...

- 4-6-2. - 4-6-2, got it.

- I hope so. Bye, Tom.

[reciting number]

- ...4-6-2. Okay. Pen!

[pop music]

Shit, just realized the Eurostar doesn't go from here.

Hasn't for years. - Yeah, I know.

- Right. 'Course, you would've been quicker

going from London Bridge.

- I...

I really do have to go.

- Turn around.

Just turn round once.

[soft piano music]

[soft piano music]

- About bloody time.

- I'm so sorry.

[chiming]

- Ladies and gentlemen,

my name is Pierre and I would like to welcome you aboard...

[beep] [Tom]: Hi, Ellie.

I'll be back around 8:00. I'm just meeting Dave for one.

[beep] [Eloise]: Hi, love. It's me.

Can you pick up a pint of milk and some bread?

And not the white stuff like chalk.

Une baguette, s'il vous plaît. Bye, sweetie.

[beep] Tom? You better be out of bed.

Jim and Sarah are coming round. I ironed you a shirt.

See you in a while. [beep]

- Eloise, why aren't you here? [bar music]

Oh, I'm having a blast, but I wish you were with me.

Anyhow, I'm leaving, I'm leaving soon.

I love you.

[beep] Can't believe I'm gonna do this.

Now, I told you I don't sing.

So don't say you weren't warned.

[Tom singing Françoise Hardy song]

[...singing...]

Told you I couldn't sing.

[soft music]

[phone buzzing]

Hello?

♪ All things come to those that wait ♪

♪ At least that's what I'm told ♪

♪ But sometimes ♪

♪ Waiting's not enough ♪

♪ Fortune favours the bold ♪

♪ Love has its own time to keep ♪

♪ And what will be will be ♪

♪ But patience can only go so far ♪

♪ To being you back to me ♪

♪ At long last you came to me ♪

♪ When everything seemed lost at sea ♪

♪ One final chance eventually ♪

♪ I made you see ♪

♪ That we can't be torn apart ♪

♪ By distances or broken hearts ♪

♪ There's always a new spark to light these flames ♪

♪ And dying embers ♪

♪ I could keep it cool ♪

♪ To protect myself ♪

♪ Or play my games or play the fool ♪

♪ I'd only fool myself ♪

♪ We could even say we'd had our day ♪

♪ And let these bygones be ♪

♪ But deep down you know you let it go ♪

♪ Forever aimlessly ♪

♪ At long last you came to me ♪

♪ When everything seemed lost at sea ♪

♪ One final chance eventually ♪

♪ I made you see ♪ ♪ I made you see ♪

♪ That the other half of me is you ♪

♪ And no one else will ever do ♪

♪ And given all we've been though ♪

♪ We still have time ♪

♪ To try again... ♪

♪ Again ♪

♪ To try again... ♪

♪ Again... ♪

♪ At long last you came to me ♪

♪ A glimmer on a darkening sea ♪

♪ To guide me to your side ♪

♪ You light the flame ♪

♪ Sparks and embers ♪♪

[fast rock music]

[soft music]

[Western-style guitar riff]

[evil laughter]

[growling]

[pop music]

[ballad]

[soft Christmas music]

Subtitling: CNST, Montreal